#probably a factor in the overall experience

[lisa-and-shadow]

I had some really good pizza last night and now I want pizza again. There is no pizza. There won't be any pizza.

[monster-noises]

The dawning and unfathomable horror of looking around realizing... Well I haven't really done much have I?

[youreaclownnow]

Cant believe I forgot how much of a true komaeda fan I actually am. love that twink more than words.

[scorpihoe1111]

Synastry Observations👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Today I’m going to be giving Synastry Observations. Synastry charts are basically you and another individuals chart put together to help explain how you and said person might or might not get along, how you two see each other and what the future may hold for you two etc.

Synastry Charts are not only meant for romantic relationships! They can apply to familial, platonic friendships, co-workers etc!

Synastry charts are a great way to find out if you’re compatible with another person. But keep in mind that these are not set in stone, and just general observations I’ve noticed within couples charts. There are plenty examples of synastry charts clashing and the couple/friends work together perfectly, and vice versa.

With that said, let’s get into it. ☺️

Those with Sun square Sun in synastry usually can’t get along. This placement usually signifies one or the other feeling like they completely clash personality/ego wise.

Individual’s who have their Venus sextile or trine the others ASC might be highly attracted to the ASC person upon first glance/impression. The ASC person may be exactly the Venus persons type.

If your Sun ☀️, Venus 🩷, or ASC ⬆️ is the same sign as someone’s 7H, they could see you as wifey/husband material. The 7H person could immediately wanna settle down with you.

Those who’s moon trine/sextile someone’s mars knows how to help the mars person calm down or relax. Not to be cliche, but I find this aspect in a lot of relationships where the Mars person was a “player who can’t be tamed” and the moon person was the only one who managed to get them to show their softer side and change.

The sign of your 12H is usually people who can be hidden enemies.

Ex: Say you’re a Virgo rising, so you have Leo in the 12H. Leo placements could be shady towards you, or always seeming like they’re hiding something from you. Experiences with Leo placements may leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Another big factor is where your 12H sign lies within their chart. This can tell you what they could hide from you. If your 12H is their sun sign, they could be faking their entire personality with you. If your 12H sign is their moon sign, they could be hiding their true feelings about you. If it’s mercury, you may not know what they say about you behind your back and they could possibly gossip about you. If it’s mars, they could possibly have complete hatred or a grudge against you and so on.

It’s not impossible for 12H synastry to be good, but it’s rare and usually results in a lot of secret animosity/jealousy.

Moon square Venus in synastry can make the 2 individuals have completely different love languages and/or may not see eye to eye when it comes to what the other wants.

If someone’s Mars sign is the same sign as your 5H, the Mars person could want to get you pregnant (or you may want the Mars person to get you pregnant) 🤰🏻

The best way to discover if someone’s your soulmate, twin flame or overall to check who you’re probably going to get married to is to check where the asteroid Juno (3) lands in both of your charts. The Sun ☀️ sign of said person could possibly be the same as your Juno sign

Pluto aspecting personal planets in synastry can indicate the Pluto person being very possessive or controlling of the planet individual.

Venus aspecting Chiron in synastry can indicate either helping heal the Chiron persons biggest wound or worsening it. Ex: Venus Trine/sextile Chiron can help the Chiron person feel more secure and confident thanks to the Venus person. Venus Square/Opp Chiron can make the Venus person make the Chiron person more insecure or more uncomfortable with the Chiron wound.

8H synastry is sooo intense. It makes the 8H person wanna possess you as a person and makes them lust after you uncontrollably. It’s also super hard to forget or let go of someone who’s sign is in your 8H and vice versa.

2H synastry is bittersweet because I notice the 2H person genuinely cares about the planet person to an almost unconditional degree while the planet person cares just as much, however more conditionally. While the planet person does have love for the 2H, they also are mainly with the 2H person because they add to the planets self worth and image and/or the 2H person usually provides something(s) to the planet person and without that they most likely wouldn’t remain with the 2H person in the first place.

People who’s Mars lands in your 12H can be in secret competition with you and/or jealous and intimidated of you.

Mercury square moon in synastry usually have very conflicting ideologies and outlooks on life.

Someones Mars conjunct/Trine your Jupiter sign feel like you’re their lucky charm 🍀

Those who’s Sun sign is the same sign as your Saturn can come into your life to teach you a lesson.

Mars in 1H synastry can make the 1H person either EXTREMELY turned on by the Mars person or result in complete dislike. (Very much a sexual tension placement if you ask me)

Someone’s Lilith in your 1H/8H could make you feel like the Lilith person is a bad influence in your life. People with this synastry usually end up making reckless decisions on the account of the Lilith person encouraging them too.

I hope you enjoyed. Let me know if you’d like a part 2. 💕

[howtofightwrite]

In writing a fighting scene how many sentences need to be it is always said it needs to have a variety of how long? Technical jargon better be ditched, or sometimes needs to be written? Is there any advice on how to do this, I still trying to get an idea of how to write fighting scenes? from tournaments, corridor battles (narrow and wide), room battles, field battles, war battles, or even hit-and-run battles?

So, there are multiple questions here, but some of these are going to be kind of quick.

How many sentences do you need? Enough, but no more. You need to be able to communicate to the reader what's happening in the fight. Or, at least, be able to communicate what your PoV character experiences from the fight. The more you add to it, the longer it will take your average reader to read the scene, and (to an extent) the slower they will perceive the fight.

This creates an awkward situation for a writer. If you have some, “really cool visual,” but you can't convey that quickly and efficiently, it might need to go. Especially if it's the kind of thing you'd see in a film, or comic, but that your character wouldn't be directly aware of. For example, a character isn't going to know that a blade narrowly missed their head, shaving off several locks of hair in the process, because they're probably not looking in the direction of their hair when it happens, and they're probably not going to feel it. In attempting to completely articulate that moment, you're going to slow down the fight.

Now, there is an application for this. The better a character's reflexes (really, the faster they are at processing information, which isn't technically reflexes), the more ability they'll have to actually perceive these kinds of moments as they happen, and the slow the fight will be, for them.

Technical jargon is characterization. A character who doesn't know how to fight, and has no prior aptitude for violence, probably won't have a particularly extensive vocabulary for violence. So, if that's you PoV for a fight, they don't know what they're seeing, and they might not have a vocabulary that extends much beyond hitting, punching, and kicking. This applies both to the attacks they can (intentionally) make, and what they can see and understand when other characters are attacking.

A character who is a combat veteran, with extensive training will have a much wider range of options open to them, and also a much greater capacity to accurately articulate the violence they see. They're likely to use and recognize things like stances, parries, restraints, holds, and throws.

This can lead to a specific situation that's counter-intuitive (at least in comparison to what I said at the beginning), but also very real. An inexperienced fighter, can find themselves quickly losing to a skilled opponent without really being able to understand what just happened to them. In this specific case, accurately communicating the details to the audience can be to the detriment.

So, this is all for limited narration. If you're using omniscient narration, then you'll need to make decisions on how to describe the combat. This is one situation where it's really difficult to avoid characterizing your narrator. Though, this should help make that characterization a conscious choice, rather than an accident.

Beyond that, asking about the different venues, that's a little to vague to really give any coherent answer beyond simply pointing to the earlier paragraphs. For example, when you're looking at armies clashing in a massive battle, the PoV is still the most important factor to assessing how it should be written. A general, commanding the troops from a hill behind the front lines is going to be far more interested in the overall strategic state of the battle. They'll be directing troops, trying to get orders through, watching the enemy, and trying to anticipate what they'll do. A soldier down in the melee will have a radically different experience. They may not even have the tactical background to fully appreciate the way the battle is progressing, beyond simply that there are still people trying to kill them, and they're preemptively returning the favor.

At a grander scale, a footsoldier in a war might not even have the frame of reference to really understand the state of the world beyond the scope of their orders and the battles they find themselves in. They may know who they are fighting, but, not really understand why. And, if they encounter enemy forces unexpectedly, they may have no idea what that really means for the war as a whole, where a general or commander would likely be able to understand and explain how that happened. In fact, a diplomat or spy, with extensive experience from before the war, may have entirely different understandings for how and why the enemy is maneuvering than even a general would.

Again, violence, whether it's on a personal, or a mass scale, is a venue for characterization. Who your characters are will dictate how they perceive, understand, and interact with the world around them. There isn't one way that a fight in a corridor will occur, because there isn't one kind of person who will walk into a corridor with violent intent.

If it sounds like I'm thinking of Glen Cook's Black Company novels, I am. I'm also thinking of Sandy Mitchell's Caiaphas Cain novels, and a few other stray examples.

Ultimately, this is all about characterization of your narrator, regardless whether that narrator is also a character in the story or not.

-Starke

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[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi! im 15 with awfully heavy periods and my parents + doctors (gyno, therapist, etc) think its necessary for me to get a marina (hormone implants in your vagina i think, im too scared to look it up if im being honest.) the problem is that im really opposed to it because i dont want anyone touching me downstairs, and my auntie said it would really hurt.

do you think i should get it, probably be really distressed for a few weeks but be fine with my period for the next handful of years, or keep looking for less invasive options that might be more expensive and less effective?

thanks!

hello there! thank you for your question!

so, first off, I'm just going to say that your body is yours and you get to make the decisions about what happens with it. if you don't want a Mirena implant, that's your decision and you have every right to make that choice, end of.

I do think it's valuable to have a full sense of what exactly you're saying no to, so if it's okay I would like to do a little walkthrough of the information about the IUD that you've been avoiding looking into. I'm gonna do my best to make it unscary, I promise.

Mirena IUDs are placed in the uterus, hence the name; "IUD" stands for intrauterine device.

there it will decrease chances of pregnancy by releasing small amounts of levonorgestrel. this will cause thickening of the mucus in your cervix (the space between your vagina and uterus) to make it harder for sperm to ever reach and egg and thinning of the lining of your uterus to make it harder for any fertilized eggs to attach there and grow into a pregnancy.

menstruation happens when your body rids itself of unused uterine lining, which is why many people find their periods are lighter when they have an IUD - less lining ideally equals less blood, less cramping, and less pain overall.

usually, this decrease in period intensity happens after 3 months of having an IUD in place. some people with IUDs - about 20%, certainly not a majority but not an insignificant number - stop having a period entirely after a year or more.

once an IUD is put in place, it's good for up to eight years, although it can be taken out any time earlier than that if you want it removed sooner.

common side effects experienced by people with IUDs are similar to what many people experience on their periods: headaches, acne, sore breasts, cramping, and emotional irregularities. bleeding for the first few months is also common; many find that their bleeding will be worse before it gets better.

it's also uncommon, but not impossible, for your IUD to slip out of place. there are several risk factors that make this more likely, including youth (under the age of 20), having long and difficult periods, and if you've been pregnant.

in regards to your worry about pain during implantation, it's not unreasonable. very few people that I know of would describe the process as particularly comfortable, and it's very painful for some. while the trade off of brief discomfort for 8 years of instant birth control can certainly be worth it for some, it's ultimately a personal decision and up to you to weigh the pros and cons to decide what's best for you.

if you're interested in seeking out other forms of medical intervention for your periods, there are plenty of other forms of hormonal birth control to look at. a similar method worth comparing would be the hormonal implant that goes in your arm and lasts for three years; it's obviously not as long-lasting but can provide similar benefits without requiring anyone to touch your genitalia.

I hope this helps.

[lucysarah-c]

Question: for Virgin! Canon Levi; how do you think that would go down? Like full blown sex one night? Taking it slow over time? Just how do you think reader would need to navigate it with him? Slow burn / build up, a passionate night, tipsy reader?

This is assuming Levi and Reader’s emotions are confirmed for each other

Hiiiii~~ How are you? What have you been up to lately?

Haha, honestly, I'm not entirely sure what caused this full blow-up of questions, but I'm kinda loving it.

Mhh, I think my answer depends a lot on two factors: "Levi's age" and "the experience of the reader." I know you said Canon Levi, but I wonder if you mean canon season 1-4 Levi, Underground Levi, pre-promotion Levi, etc. haha

I'll conclude that you meant "canon season 1-3" Levi. While I personally don't headcanon Captain Levi as a virgin during the "overall" period of AoT (I mean, since season 1, not ACWNR or Underground Levi), I think his reaction depends a lot on how much experience the reader has. Levi strikes me as one of those friends/partners who loves you, cares about you, etc., but hardly ever talks about themselves. In my humble opinion, even if Levi has feelings for you and you two decide to pursue a relationship together, it may take him a lot of time to open up about his past. I mean, this man gets along with Hange amazingly in the story; Isayama says that Hange is who "understands" or "gets along better with Levi," and yet Hange didn't know about Kenny.

So this may be a wild take… but I think Levi wouldn't tell you it's his first time, lmao. He may try to play it cool; you might notice he's not the most "skilled" dude out there ('cause let me tell you, no amount of Ackerman powers makes you seem experienced, lol), but he's not telling you it's his first time. Which, you know, everybody is entitled to their past. Perhaps if the reader is also a virgin and she opens up emotionally like, "It's my first time," Levi would feel she's opening up to him, and he would feel it's a good time to be honest too and be like, "Well… it's mine too, so I guess we will figure it out as we go."

About "how" it would be, I think the reader would have to set the tempo. Most men are READY to blow off some steam if you give them a chance, haha, so if the reader is also a virgin and they kinda want to test the waters before going all the way, Levi would be down for it, especially because it will give him time to catch a trick or two, learn what she likes.

I think that porn or movies make us believe how "sex" usually happens, and I mean, talking from my experience and my friends' experiences… none of us went from 0 to 10. Like, we kiss, we make out, then maybe we got a little handy, then riding on top of clothes, oral sex, fingers, etc. Especially because maybe you don't have your own place to crash at, maybe you two would like to talk it out before it happens. Buy condoms, get ready, etc.

Now, if you are curious how I think Underground Levi would decide to lose his V-card while younger… probably rather quick, steamy, and not giving it much thought, haha. He'd let the hormones talk and make decisions for him. In both occasions, I don't think he made the girl cum before him, which is something that happens a lot; we women are harder to please, it requires more technique than men who… well, let's say that they come rather easily, lol. BUT he will 100% offer to make her cum anyway, with fingers or mouth. Levi will be such a fast learner, give him a chance or two, and he will pick it up like a champ.

Though why can't I shake the idea of a younger Levi in the underground in his 18s, having something with a girl slightly older than him, perhaps 20, etc. And her saying between chuckles, "Slow down, boy."

God, I would pay to see his blushed, embarrassed face.

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthor @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-12345 @levicansteponme @galactict3a Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[happilychee]

how good I think fairy tail characters are at traveling pt. 1

♡ gray fullbuster -> he's calm and reliable; he'll check the route before the trip and always have a map on hand to make sure you're going the right way. overall a 9/10 experience. -1 point because he doesn't make time to stop and look at trinkets >:(

*this is if you're traveling just with him though. if you add basically anyone else, including natsu, cana, loke, or lucy, gray will become completely distracted and you might never get to your destination.

♡ erza scarlet -> she'll get you to your destination. you might obtain life-altering trauma, bury a body, and become a local eldtritch legend, but you will get to your destination. 8/10 if you don't mind coming out of the experience Changed.

♡ mirajane strauss -> this can go one of two ways. if you're with other people, mira goes into Big Sister Mode, and you will get to your destination with minimal shenanigans. she does factor in Trinket Time, so overall a 10/10 experience. if it's just mira, though, prepare to go on a spiritual rollercoaster. no plans, no tickets, no maps, just vibes. mira likes to explore new towns and cities without worrying about a schedule or keeping track of other people. she has disappeared for a week straight to just wander around fiore. it's about the journey, not the destination, y'know?

♡ lucy heartfilia -> this poor girl isn't directionally challenged but she is financially challenged. will accidentally spend your train money on a cute necklace in whatever town you're stopping in. she's a good travel companion, willing to socialize with the locals and find out the best sight-seeing and restaurant spots. allocates a bit too much time for Trinkets. you'll probably arrive at your destination with empty pockets but full hearts (and shopping bags.) a 7.5/10, could be higher or lower depending on how much you value your wallet.

♡ natsu dragneel -> just give up. if he doesn't scoop you up in his arms as happy flies the two of you in the completely wrong direction, natsu's probably wandering off without you. gets distracted by everything: food, shiny objects, bickering people. you're working double time to get to your destination in one piece AND not lose natsu in the process. a 4/10 that can be upgraded to a 6 or 7 if you buy him a fire-resistant leash backpack.

♡ sting eucliffe -> surprisingly, he's the one coordinating your trip. all cheery smiles and lighthearted jokes, he makes it look easy. you don't even know what train you're getting on or how long the ride is, you just trust sting. he's charming everyone: the train conductor, the old ladies at the market stalls, the young ticket seller at the station. all of that completely disappears once you get on the train and sting is reduced to a nauseous puddle of dragon slayer. 10/10 experience as long as he doesn't throw up on you <2

♡ gajeel levy and pantherlily -> where's gajeel? you don't know. he was supposed to be at the station half an hour ago, he won't answer his lacrima, he's gone off the map. don't worry, though, levy and pantherlily will keep you company. 2/10 for gajeel. the worst part is, he shows up at your destination before you! he didn't even take the train or fly with lily! he's just... there somehow.

[n3felibata]

This is gonna be a hot take, but it bothers me when people say that Phoenix became an attorney JUST for Edgeworth.

Yes, Edgeworth is a big part of the reason he became a lawyer. Yes, Phoenix went to law school after finding out he's the "demon prosecutor" now. Hell, I'll even outright admit that Phoenix would not be an attorney if it weren't for Edgeworth.

But that's the only reason he stands in court. Goodness, no. It goes deeper than that, and it has a lot to do with Phoenix's depth and the overall message of Ace Attorney.

First of all, in the first few minutes of the very first game, Phoenix outright says that Larry is part of the reason he became a lawyer, too.

(Really, I feel like some of you are forgetting that Larry defended him that day as well...)

And second of all, there's the fact that he continues to be a lawyer in Justice for All despite thinking Edgeworth was dead for most of that game. And I have to admit it's been a while since I've played Justice For All, but I remember him defending his clients just as passionately as he does in any other game.

Edgeworth directly asks Phoenix in this same game why he stands in court, and Phoenix responds by saying this:

At least him saying in PWAA that he stood up for Maya because he "can't just abandon her" and "someone has to look out for people with no one on their side" is only one dialogue option out of three.

But telling Edgeworth he wants to save lives is the only answer the player can give to that question. Because it's the correct one. Phoenix Wright has a huge sense of justice, and it's a big part of his character.

This is why Phoenix hates prosecutors so much, or more specifically the ones that only stand in court to "win" rather than to actually seek the truth. And that's probably also why the writers continously make the antagonists of these games people who fit that exact description.

And yes, his backstory (or at least this specific part of it) may not be as traumatic as the other characters', but it doesn't need to be. This kind of stuff can seriously impact a child, especially when the teacher themselves in joining in on the bullying. His clients are going through worse, yes, but regardless, this experience taught him that people will assume the worst in you with little to no evidence and what it means to have someone believe in you when no one else will. He wants to be there for people going through worse than him, and that's valid. Not every character needs to be an orphan or rape victim or something to be an intriguing character with reasonable motivations and experiences that are meaningful to them.

Again, I'm not denying that Edgeworth is a huge part of why he went to law school (and thank goodness he did because I can't imagine what would've happened to Edgeworth if he never became an attorney...), but saying that Edgeworth is the ONLY factor feels like it's not only disacknowledging Phoenix's depth and reducing his character to just his relationship with Edgeworth, but also feels like it's disacknowledging the themes of justice in the writing of the game itself. Like no offense, but how did y'all manage to take what's clearly meant to be a satirical call out to Japan's flawed justice system and reduce it to just "yaoi"?

I LOVE wrightworth, but sometimes it feels like some people are so fixated on it that they forget that both Wright and Edgeworth are still their own complex individuals with depth outside of their relationship with each other.

[genshinluvr]

Anything for the Star 2

Pairings: Various Honkai Star Rail Men x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: After being sandwiched between Gepard and Sampo's chest due to March claiming you wanted to be sandwiched between the two men from Jarilo-VI, you fainted. You soon regained consciousness and now have to deal with the aftermath and you're also on the hunt for March around the Astral Express.

Note: I think a few people on Tumblr and AO3 wanted to see another part of this fic. Therefore since I am posting mini-fics for this week, I have decided to make a part two! Yes, this is a crack-ish fic, and mini-fics do not have a huge impact on the overall HSR isekai world :> It's almost 6 AM, and I did not sleep at all. Anyway! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: None that I know of

Word Count: 3.6k

Read Part 1 of Anything for the Star [HERE]!

Your ears are ringing.

“[Y/N]!”

The voices shouting out to you are muffled— almost like you’re underwater.

“Gumdrop, wake up!”

You feel like you’re floating through space. The darkness around you welcomes you with open arms while you drift into the abyss. Unaware of what is going on outside of your unconscious state. What happened?  How did you end up in the void? You hear voices around you, but you’re alone in the darkness, floating through the void. Speaking of the void, not even Nanook is present with you. 

“Everyone, move out of the way. Give them space.”

The voices continue to get louder and louder as the darkness around you soon fades around you. The ringing in your ears ceases, and you jolt in someone’s arms, eyelids flying open, gasping for air as if someone was holding you underwater for who knows how long. Faces peer down at you, gazing at you with worry.

You blink at them, still groggy from what happened. Seriously, what did happen? You’re cradled in Nanook’s arms, your head resting on the Aeon of Destruction’s arms. You groan and rub your eyes with the heel of your hand. Your mind is still foggy, and you’re not sure how long you’ve been knocked out.

You clear your throat. “What happened?” You croak, eyes darting around to look at every person, searching for answers.

Nanook sighs. “You fainted forty minutes ago and were unresponsive,” replies Nanook, resting his cheek on your head. 

Unresponsive? That’s odd. What could be the sole factor behind your fainting and being unresponsive for forty minutes? You sit up in Nanook’s arms, rubbing your eyes again. The men are crowding around you, making sure you’re okay and not going to faint for the second time. They’re still wearing maid costumes— oh. Right. Memories from before you fainting start rushing back to you at full speed.

“You had a nosebleed, but luckily, Luocha was able to stop the bleeding,” Mr. Yang says, sitting across from you on your bed.

You nod, looking away from the older man. You can’t take him seriously when he’s wearing cat ears headbands while wearing a maid costume. The refined Mr. Yang, the strongest, the wise and intelligent Mr. Yang… wearing a cat ears headband and maid costume. What a time to be alive to witness such a sight. 

Dan Heng crosses his arms over his chest, his eyebrows furrowing with worry. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Dan Heng asks softly, sitting on the other side of your bed.

Dan Heng is also wearing a maid costume. You’re not sure who did his makeup— most likely March— but he looks cute! The exaggerated blush on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose was adorable. If he was actually blushing, it would be hard to notice. Unless the blush creeps up to the tips of his ears. 

You nod, smiling at Dan Heng sleepily. “Of course, I’m okay! I probably didn’t get enough sleep last night, and it’s probably the reason why I fainted,” you lie.

You wish that was the case. Being sandwiched between Gepard and Sampo’s beefy pecks is something you would love to experience again! However, you sure as hell do not want to experience it in front of other people— other people who you’re also attracted to. On another note, Sampo gives the best hugs, and so does Gepard. You snap out of your thoughts when Gepard presses a cold, wet paper napkin on your cupid’s bow. You blink and look at Gepard quizzically. Gepard pulls his hands away from your face and steps back, clearing his throat softly.

“You still had a bloodstain above your lips,” Gepard mutters softly, cheeks bright red.

You smile at Gepard, well, attempt to smile at him. The smile ends up being a grimace rather than a smile. You gesture to the men’s costume, trying to find the right words to say without looking stupid. You’re not sure how March was able to get the maid costumes in her hands so fast, but you’re thankful for it, and you sort of wish March didn’t conduct this experiment. 

You swallow the lump in your throat. “Are you guys not going to change out of those maid costumes?” You ask shyly.

“Oh? You want us to change out of it already?” Luka asks, his eyes widening with shock as he turns to look at the other men.

Your eyebrows furrow with confusion. What does Luka mean by that exactly? You search around the room for March, only to realize she’s not in the room, nor is Himeko. In fact, you’re alone in your room with the ten men. You press your lips into a thin line, making a mental note to pull March by her ears when you see her again.

Blade narrows his eyes at you, tilting his head to the side. “Why do you look confused? Did you forget about how you informed March that you wanted to see us wear the maid costume until it’s nine-thirty sharp?” Blade asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

You sigh and run your hands through your hair. “Blade, you know how terrible my memory is, right? I forget the simplest things,” you say, leaning back against Nanook.

Nanook’s arms snake around your waist, pulling you close. As much as you don’t mind cuddling with Nanook, you don’t think you can cuddle with Nanook in front of the other men. Especially when they’re all wearing maid costumes. Plus, you have a bone to pick with March because her experiment seems to be something else other than wanting to see if the men will comply with your wishes.

You tap on your thighs. “Does anyone know where March is, by any chance? I want to talk to her about something,” you say.

Jing Yuan searches around your room, rubbing the back of his neck. Your eyes automatically zero in on Jing Yuan’s biceps when he rubs the back of his neck. The way his biceps bulges with little movement, the way the sleeve of the maid costume raises, the way the ruffles of the skirt move when he shifts in his spot. Dear, Aeons. You look away and pretend to search for the pink-haired menace. 

“Huh. I didn’t even notice her leave the room after you fainted,” Jing Yuan says, laughing to himself.

You nod slowly. It’s either you remain in your room with ten people in maid costumes or leave your room and hunt down March and give her a piece of your mind. While you are thankful for her theory and sudden announcement, you sure as hell don’t appreciate her not telling you what she has in mind for these experiments. You want at least a warning or a heads-up before she throws you into the lion's den. You slowly remove yourself from Nanook’s warm, welcoming arms and get off your bed. You straighten your clothes and turn to the rest of the audience in your room. 

“I am going to search for March. You guys can tag along if you want. However, I can’t promise I’ll be civil when I see her,” you say, walking out of your room.

The men stare after you and watch you leave. They weren’t sure what you meant when you said you can’t promise to be civil when you see March. Nanook is the first one to follow you not long after you step out of your room. Soon, the other men start following Nanook, wondering what you’re going to do when you find March. 

Long story short, you tried searching for March around the Astral Express, but she was nowhere to be found. You went into her room, and her bedroom was empty. You tried talking to Pom-Pom and Himeko about March’s whereabouts. Unfortunately for you, the redheaded woman and the conductor of the Astral Express did not see March at all. 

“Are you sure she’s not in her room? The Astral Express is traversing through space, and there’s no way March could sneak to the Xianzhou Luofu, Jarilo-VI, and the Herta Space Station without anyone noticing,” Himeko says, crossing one leg over the other while stirring her coffee. 

You sigh, running your hands through your hair. “Well, thanks for letting me know. I was hoping to find March and pull her ears when I saw her. But I guess that will be saved for next time,” you grumble, turning around and walking off.

Himeko looks at the men and presses her lips into a thin line. The men have yet to change out of their maid costumes, and Himeko can’t help but find it amusing. After receiving a text message from March with a couple of attachments, Himeko wanted to tease them for doing whatever you said. Even if you didn’t directly tell them what to do. Yes, March texted Himeko multiple pictures of you encountering the ten men in maid costumes. The photos are taken discretely and sent to Himeko.

The first picture is your initial reaction to the men walking out of your bathroom in maid costumes. The second image is of you touching Luka’s biceps— your reaction was hilarious. March made it your contact picture, but she’s not going to let you know about it until way later if you end up seeing it and want to know the context of the icon. The third picture is you getting sandwiched between Gepard and Sampo’s chests— you looked like you were about to pass out. And finally, the last image March took and sent to Himeko was you fainting with a stream of blood coming from your nose.

After taking that last picture of you, March made a run for it because she knows that once you’re conscious, you’re going to be going after her ass, and that is what you’re doing. Well, you were going after her ass because you couldn’t find the pink-headed girl, and the Astral Express is still traversing through the stars. You’re going to have to wait for March to reappear because you sure as hell do not want to search around the Astral Express for the umpteenth time.

You end up forgetting about your hunt for March because now you find yourself sitting in the Parlor Car of the Astral Express, trying to convince the men to change back into their clothes. As much as you love to see the men wearing maid costumes and cat ears headbands, you don’t know how much longer you can deal with it. Maybe getting a picture of them in the maid costumes doesn’t sound so bad if you were brave enough to ask for pictures.

“You know,” March pops up from out of nowhere, resting her arm on the cushion of the couch, “if you want to take a picture with your admirers in maid costumes, why not just ask them? I’m sure they’ll be okay with it as long as the person asking for photos is their precious star,” March coos, pinching your cheek.

You wince and smack her hand away from your face. “Why don’t you do it for me instead? I’m too shy to ask,” you mumble.

March smirks and rolls over the couch, and nods. “If that’s what you want, then I shall ask on your behalf then!” March fixes her clothes before strutting over to the group of men standing in the center of the Parlor Car, quietly conversing with one another. 

March taps on Mr. Yang’s shoulders and begins talking to the older man. Mr. Yang looks confused while the other men around him burst out laughing, except for Blade. They all look at you from where they’re standing, and seeing the look on their faces, you’re starting to regret telling March to ask them for you. 

Before you know it, the men walk in your direction, with March trailing after them from a safe distance. March is most likely to make a run for it in case you faint again. March gestures for you to stand up, making you assume you are going to take a picture with the men. However, when Blade steps forward, you look at him with confusion.

“Your request is ridiculous. However, I will not deny you of your request since you asked so nicely,” Blade says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Your eyebrows knit together as you stare at him quizzically. “Huh? How is my request ridiculous? What did March tell you exactly?” You ask, leaning over in your spot to look at March.

March looks away, swaying side to side while whistling. You poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue and glare at March from afar before looking at the men, who are quietly snickering. Really, what is March up to, and why are the men giggling like children? A picture request shouldn’t be making them giggle like this. Unless March said something else about the pictures?

Blade takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before looking you in the eyes. “Uwu,” Blade deadpans.

Your brain short circuits. What did Blade just say? You slowly look at March, who’s covering up her laughter with her hands. The men around you and Blade burst out laughing, doubling over one another while howling with laughter. That wasn’t your request, but you’re not complaining. Seeing and hearing Blade say ‘uwu’ with the most serious expression will forever be engraved in your memory. 

“Why do you look confused? Is this not your request?” Luocha asks, stifling his laughter behind his hand.

You press your lips into a thin line. It’s not what you requested, but since it’s comical and also cute, you’ll let March off the hook for this. Just this one time, of course. You have yet to forgive her for the stunt she pulled in your bedroom. She could at least let you be aware of what she’s up to, you know? Especially if it involves you.

You clear your throat. “Yes, but I did not expect Blade to follow through with it,” you say, scratching the back of your head.

March snickers. “Yeah, me neither,” March mutters under her breath. “Anyway! Gentlemen, please gather around for the picture [Y/N] has been anticipating!” March claps her hands and gestures for the men to stand in a line.

The men get in a line, making sure the tallest are in the back row while the shortest is in the front. They made sure to leave a space in the front for you to stand. You reluctantly hand March your phone and walk to the group as Luka and Sampo gesture for you to come forward. You stand between Dan Heng and Caelus, mentally preparing yourself for the picture. March holds your phone up but pauses, staring at you intently. You stare at March, worried about what she’s up to after seeing a sly smirk appearing on her face. A sense of dread falls over you as March sighs dramatically and props her hands on her hips.

“This picture would look cuter if [Y/N] matched with the rest of you,” March sighs, feigning sadness. 

You stare at the pink-haired girl owlishly. You? Matching with the rest of the men behind you? You shake your head at March, giving her a look. March continues to sigh and plops on the couch dramatically, draping her arm over her eyes. March actually didn’t get you a maid costume— that would go over her budget, and she wants to see how the others react if she suggested you wear a maid costume with cat ears to match with the men.

“It would be cute if you matched the others! Plus, I bought you a maid costume too! You wouldn’t want it to go to waste, now, do you?” March asks, peeking from her arms and batting her eyelashes at you.

You narrow your eyes at March as she continues to give you puppy dog eyes. If March wants to test her theory out, you might as well put it to the test yourself. So, you put on a mask and try not to cringe.

You turn to the others, pouting and batting your eyelashes at them while giving them the puppy dog eyes yourself. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with wearing a maid costume. The costumes look cute, but I don’t think it’ll look good on me,” you sigh, rubbing your arm and looking away dramatically.

Oh, ew. You feel a small part of yourself die a little on the inside. The act your pull reminds you of those pick-me’s you see on the internet. Dear, Aeons. You have the urge to skin yourself alive after pulling that stunt. You refrain from showing visible disgust and continue to uphold the act.

Mr. Yang hums, nodding. “If you’re not comfortable with wearing it, you don’t have to. We don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, nor do we want you to feel like you have to wear a maid costume,” says Mr. Yang.

“Yeah! Even though we know you’ll look cute in a maid costume, we don’t want you to feel pressured. Dress however you want,” Luka says, ruffling your hair.

The others murmur in agreement, nodding their heads. You turn to March and stick your tongue out at March. March huffs and crosses her arms over her chest, getting off the couch while muttering under her breath. You smile with satisfaction and get in your spot for the pictures you were promised. 

You fix your hair and make sure you look decent— since you did faint not long ago and had a nosebleed before fainting. March sighs and holds your phone up, waiting for everyone to get situated before taking multiple pictures of you with the men in maid costumes. After a few minutes of taking pictures with the men in maid costumes, March finally hands you your phone back.

You pull March to the side. “Did you really tell them that I wanted them to wear the maid costumes until it’s nine-thirty?” you ask.

March giggles and nods. “I know it’s a very specific time, but I had to say something! I can’t space out, or else they’ll know what I’m up to!” March says, shrugging her shoulders. “Besides, this experiment went swimmingly.”

March wasn’t wrong about that. The experiment for her theory turned out how she expected it to go. As curious as you are regarding how far this experiment could go, you don’t have the heart or the energy to test it out. The eventful day was draining, and all you want to do right now is to take a nap. 

“I think we should cut the experiment short. I want to take a nap,” you say, tucking your phone into your pocket and stretching your arms in the air with a yawn. 

March stares at you. “Why do you take so many naps?” March questions, propping her hands on her hips.

You shrug. “Don’t ask me. I don’t have the answer to your question— aside from my awful sleep schedule,” you reply. “Now, before I go to bed, I will test out one last thing.”

You yawn and plop on the couch, sprawling across the red couch in the Parlor Car with a groan. The others look at you curiously, wondering what you’re doing and why you’re sprawled out on the couch.

“Gumdrop! What are you doing, sweet thang?” Sampo asks, sitting at the edge of the couch.

You mumble and rub your eyes. “I’m exhausted, and I want to take a nap, but I don’t think I can make it to my room,” you mumble, closing your eyes and curling into a ball.

“If you want, I can carry you to your bedroom,” Caelus offers, holding his hand in the air.

You sigh. “But I also want someone to cuddle with me while I nap. Or at least get me a plushie to hug,” you say, cracking one eye open.

Jing Yuan strokes his chin, tilting his head to the side. “I’m not sure if I can cuddle with you in a dress. The fabric is scratchy, and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable cuddling with someone wearing scratchy fabric,” Jing Yuan says, rubbing the fabric of the skirt with his thumb and index finger.

March deadpans, smacking her forehead with an infuriated sigh. These men seem to be stalling, but it’s sort of understandable because of the murderous look Nanook is giving to each man who offers to carry you to your room and cuddle with you as you’re napping.

“Do you want to sleep on the couch then? I can get your pillow and blanket for you,” Dan Heng offers.

You shake your head. “Thank you, Dan Heng, but no thank you. I don’t like sleeping in places like the Parlor Car. I’m more comfortable sleeping in my bedroom,” you reply.

“I’ll carry you to your room,” Gepard offers, walking toward you, only for the Aeon of Destruction to block his path.

Nanook shakes his head. “No. I will be the one to carry them to their room and cuddle with them while they sleep,” Nanook says.

March throws her hands in the air with frustration and sighs. March knows Nanook is attached to you, but seeing Nanook preventing the other men from getting their chances of becoming close to you is driving March insane. Aside from Nanook being a cockblock, March finds it amusing (but also adorable) how these men are willing to do things you ask them to do. Even if you weren’t the one requesting certain tasks to be fulfilled. 

Note: So, Blade saying uwu is "inspired" by this video my dear friend and moderator sent to me on Discord. It was a video of Blade's voice actor saying uwu in Blade's voice, and I had to include it in this part because I forgot to do that for the first part 😭 I have this one idea in mind for this upcoming week's update, but I'm not sure how I will execute it. I'm just hoping it turns out fine, but at the same time, I'm not sure if it'll turn out how I wanted it to. To my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Taglist for the HSR one-shot series: @ashwasherelol, @mompt2, @elegantnightblaze, @lunavixia, @jadedist, @reversearrowhead, @pinksaiyans, @ixchelhernandez4, @kukiiyo, @n8mareee, @aurelia-xyt, @lilliansstuff, @ssunset0, @starrry-angel, @kaoyamamegami, @rnnmg, @kodzuvk, @aponia-yue, @for3very0urs, @a-cosmicdawn, @g3n0dtt, @theblades, @wntrsblvd, @raaawwwr, @immahuman, @irisxiel, @siaracarroll, @crazydreamcat, @sen-nes, @sagekun, @orichalcumthief, @dyingsweetmackerel, @rosiesareblue, @sociallyakwardpanda, @ichikanu, @undecidingfate, @dearest-yeosang, @phngix, @c00kie-cat, @asoulsreverie, @angelmican, @rururinn, @Osiritheous, @misdollface, @4-34-am, @nightmarebeaxst, @sxftiebee, @hispasian-otaku, @cloise, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @shizunxie, @inapileofbooke, @thedarkwinterrose, @soobinsgirlfriend

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[theoretically-bri]

Logan Howlett Smut Alphabet 💛

Note: No spoilers here! Promise! Not specific to any canon. overall this is geared towards casual partners, long-term is a whole different thing with him. This is general characterization by someone trying to get a feel for writing the character lol maybe leaning a bit towards Worst Wolverine!Logan, but not completely him

Also I haven’t written and posted in a very long time, so be nice to me ✨ and he’s a new character for me

Warnings: 18+ , mention of unsafe & rough/violent sex, overall filth tbh this man is gross and I love him

3k words

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Like so many things for him, it depends on who the sexual partner is. Someone casual who was enjoyable may get a hand in cleaning up and a slight check in after, depending on the intensity of what they did. An actual partner gets a more attentive response, silent and gentle physical care before being held and checked on mentally.

A fuckbuddy or particularly irritating or bad casual fuck might get a wet washcloth slapped onto their body and a quick eviction from the space. They may just get the second part.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Logan’s favorite body part of his own would probably be his thighs. His entire body is thick with muscle, but his legs are just something special. Strong for fights or getting work done. Pretty well-loved by any and all lovers too.

On a partner he’ll never complain about a good ass. Sometimes it’ll even be the sole reason he pursues someone. But he also likes when a mutant partner has a visible aspect to their mutation. He isn’t really sure why, but it certainly can make the experience unique.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves any aspect of cum during sex. He loves marking his partner by cumming on their face (or any other part of their body, really. Or their clothes.) But if he’s fucking someone then he’ll always prefer cumming inside them. He loves to cum inside multiple times and leave the person a sore, dripping mess.

When it comes to another person’s cum, he’s pretty indifferent overall. However, he likes to do what he can to make someone cum untouched or squirt. That’s something of a point of pride to him and always tries to make it happen.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He can smell when someone has just masturbated, had sex, or is even just very turned on. He uses that to try and score with those he knows are already aroused. Maybe it’s cheating or predatory, but it works.

He’s also fucked people bent over Scott’s bike multiple times and not cleaned it after. Although that’s less of a secret, he’s obviously the only one who would do that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s over two hundred years old. He’s had a lot of sexual partners and a lot of chance to experiment and perfect his methods. However, there are some kinks or practices that lean a little more modern that he hasn’t gotten used to yet. He’ll get the hang of it, he just hasn’t had enough practice yet. But he’s not going to half-ass anything, it will be good.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Logan will always go for anything from behind. Sometimes it’s about less intimacy than facing someone, but it typically has more to do with other factors. The physical leverage it gives him over the other person, the ability to pull his partner’s hair, more available surface area to bite and mark. It often feels more animalistic, which appeals to him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Overall he’s going to be more serious. With a more casual partner or total stranger he’s likely to be his typical gruff self even when it comes to sex. If he’s with someone he’s in a relationship with or trusts more, he’s more likely to crack the occasional joke and overall lighten up if he’s in the right mood. But no one would really call him humorous, just less intense than normal.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

A razor has never gotten anywhere near any of Logan’s hair except for on his face and head. And that’s not to say that he naturally has minimal body hair. His chest is fully covered and a generous amount covers the rest of his torso in addition to a thick happy trail. And it’s no surprise that below the waist isn’t groomed either, everything is entirely natural. He’s not lacking anywhere in hair and that’s exactly how he likes it. It’s how he’s comfortable and it holds onto his natural musk.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sex is about the physical act and getting off, Logan’s typical encounter isn’t going to be intimate in the slightest. There’s definitely no romance involved at all unless it’s with someone he is actually involved with and trusts. Then the level depends on how long he’s been able to let his guard down. He can be a bit of a secret romantic, but not until he trusts the person and knows that they’re safe.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Logan can’t keep his hands off of himself just as much as he can’t keep his hands off of other people. While he vastly prefers sex over masturbation, sometimes the latter is the only option. Sometimes it’s in the comfort of his own bed, with some porn and a fleshlight. Other times it’s ducked into an alley with just spit as lube for his fevered stroking. He enjoys it, but a lot of times it’s just because he popped a boner in an inappropriate situation and needs to get rid of it quickly. It feels good, eases stress and frustration, and keeps him from getting too pent up if it’s been a little while since his last real fuck.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

With heightened senses, he’s incredibly sensitive to scents. This can possibly cause overstimulation, but he views it as a benefit when it comes to sex. He can know if someone is turned on just by being near them. He loves people’s natural scents, especially if they’ve been in nature or sweating some. He’ll get into any crook that he can and happily breathe in a good musk more than fresh air. He’s also been a culprit of stealing clothes in the past, only discovered when he’s found frantically jerking off with someone’s missing item pressed right to his nose and held between his teeth. His own scent is included in this kink, he’ll scent mark a partner or their belongings in any way possible, including with cum. And he’s been known to be particularly enthusiastic about shoving someone’s nose into any possible area after he’s worked out or been in a fight.

Given his excessive animal instincts, breeding can be extremely appealing. Having someone in a breeding position can make it damn near impossible for him to resist growling in their ear about how he’ll knock them up. It’s one reason that he absolutely hates condoms. Of course, he also doesn’t want to risk reproducing accidentally at all. Which leads to another kink.

He’s not sure if anal is really considered a kink by this point, especially when he’ll swing any way, but he loves it. Anyone who can handle (or wants) pain needs less prep, which is a plus all around in his mind. It gives him the chance to fuck without a condom and indulge in breeding fantasies and cum inside with no risk. It’s also usually easier for partners with pussies to take him that way, otherwise he gets a few inches in and nothing else will fit. Plus the gape after he’s finished, puffy and dripping with his load and no way to stop from making a mess, is enough to get him going again immediately after.

Being addressed as authority with honorifics like Sir are a big one for him as well. This one happens less since it typically only happens with those he hooks up with more than once and actually discusses kinks with. But submission paired with acknowledging his authority is a quick way to work him up. (Especially for any Logan who works at the school as a professor. Not with his students, but his colleagues are free game)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

With hookups and casual partners he’s okay with just about anywhere he can get it. It isn’t anything special to him, so he feels no need to go out of the way to hide or be secretive. He’s likely to fuck anyone anywhere but his own home. That’s his space, it’s not for the eyes of strangers and those he doesn’t trust. Anyone else’s space is free game, though, whether that’s whoever he’s with or just an empty room in the mansion.

But someone he cares about is different. Maybe he’ll still be a bit careless about being seen in moments, but he’s much more possessive. He’s going to keep someone he cares about more private overall, keeping many encounters at home and even in his bed. That interaction isn’t for anyone else but them.

But outside of his home, his favorite location is the woods. The connection to nature, the unlikely but not impossible risk of being caught, and the ability to go as feral as he wants makes taking a partner into the forest a favorite. Sometimes casuals get to do it, but it’s always more meaningful if he cares about who he’s with.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

A nice ass is probably the easiest way to turn him on. Something plump and shown off is a quick way to get his interest. But that’s not difficult, especially during the summer with abundant booty shorts and bathing suits.

Another thing that gets him going is adrenaline. Being on a mission or in a fight gets his blood hot, sometimes to the point where it can’t be ignored even in the moment. But usually he’s able to keep a hold on himself until the actual fighting is over. Usually

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s not bottoming. Ever. He loves anal with partners of any gender, but he will never be on the receiving end of it. It’s not anything to do with internalized shit or masculinity issues, he’s just not fucking doing it. Simple as. It’s not happening solo and it’s not happening partnered. Anything more than a bit of sneaky tongue or a squeeze when he’s being blown is more than likely going to end with broken bones and a quickly ended experience.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He will give, but he’s much more into receiving. When giving oral he’ll either use it as a reward or to tease relentlessly and showcase the control he has over someone. There’s very few times that he’ll have any desire to give otherwise. The exceptions typically have to do with someone peeling out of sweaty clothes and his sudden need to bury his face in sweat and skin and as much scent as possible.

Receiving is another thing entirely. A good blowjob can easily be more enjoyable for him than sex. He’ll frequent gloryholes if he isn’t getting enough to satisfy him otherwise. It would take extreme circumstances for him to turn down a blowjob from just about anyone. Sometimes he’ll want to be involved and fuck into the person’s throat and make them choke, but other times he’s happy to just enjoy himself without lifting a finger.

A good enough blowjob when he’s in a bad mood can make him seem like a completely different person afterwards.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Lovemaking isn’t in Logan’s vocabulary. Unless he’s somehow managed to live a peaceful life for a while or is seriously attached to someone, sex isn’t getting gentler than leaving a few bruises. With humans he tries to keep a hold on his strength, but for that reason he prefers to sleep with mutants. Especially the variety with some level of durability or healing abilities. He fucks rough and fast, he needs to not worry about breaking whoever is on the receiving end.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He likes quickies because it means there’s no time for awkwardness or expectation. A lot of times he’ll let the other person initiate because he’d be happy whether they did it or not. But there are times that the adrenaline can get to him on a mission or too much teasing in a not-quite-alone setting can get to him. If he initiates it doesn’t matter if it happens in a bush, an alley, or against a stranger’s car, he needs to fuck to get it out of his system.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

With an inability to catch any infection and the ability to immediately heal from any wound, he takes more risks than necessary. He’ll visit a dirty, sketchy gloryhole without a second thought as long as a warm mouth gets on his cock and he gets to cum. He despises condoms and doesn’t wear them for disease prevention purposes, he only wears them to avoid unintentional reproduction. He’ll also engage in blood play (intentional or not) without a second thought. Even though he likes hard kinks and experimenting, he’s less likely to do something that puts his partner at risk, but that’s just another reason for him to seek out more durable partners.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

The combination of his experience, self control, and his abilities make it so that he could last for hours if he wanted. Usually a first round could be over in a few minutes, depending on how long it’s been since he last came and how worked up he is. But other than that, he has pretty solid control over his own pleasure and how long he lasts.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’s tried a variety of different “sleeves” over the years, each boasting their realism. Nothing has ever gotten even close to any hole it’s said to. No, he will always prefer a real person to fuck into. But if that’s not an option and his hand just isn’t cutting it, he still keeps around a few of the toys. They always end up destroyed and typically unusable after just one fuck. Maybe something custom sized would fix the issue of him being too big for them, but it wouldn’t change how rough he was and his habit of forgetting his own strength when he gets close.

He isn’t opposed to using toys on a partner, either. Sometimes he can use one of his stretched-out, destroyed pocket pussies for size humiliation, but otherwise he doesn’t own any. if he goes to someone’s place or meet somewhere and they bring their own? He’s okay with adding them in. For a while he didn’t like it, wanted to be the only thing involved in giving pleasure. But eventually he realized that bringing in something extra can make things more interesting.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to tease in order to flaunt his power in a situation. There’s times he’ll tease otherwise, but it comes across as more mean than typical teasing would. Otherwise, he doesn’t tease too much when it comes to sex.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His sounds are as animalistic as everything else with his fucking. Low grunts and panting and growls. He can dirty talk as well, but that depends on his mood and what his partner is like. He doesn’t tend to be loud unless he’s close to finishing or if something catches him by surprise.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He gets hard in so many situations that he doesn’t want to. It can be because of high adrenaline, the result of being pent up, or even just smelling arousal on someone else. A lot of times he’ll ignore it, either try to hide the hard-on or just sport it shamelessly. But sometimes it’s too much to ignore and he’ll do whatever possible to get off as quickly as possible. The solutions range from slyly offering cash to someone eyeing him for some quick help or even just jerking off right where he is. Maybe he tries to be discreet, maybe not.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Most of his body is made of thick, corded muscles with prominent veins. When flexed it’s all chiseled in appearance, but very soft when neutral. He can almost be mistaken as being a bit soft around the middle until he flexes.

He’s covered in hair everywhere and likes it that way.

He’s uncut and a shower more than a grower. His dick is not short by any means, but the girth may be the most impressive part. So thick that his love for blowjobs can often be a bit of a problem for those trying to get him off. The size has resulted in a few dislocated jaws and a lot of people just being able to take the tip and jerking off the rest.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

When it comes to his sex drive, he could go at any time. It just depends on if he’s in the mood for it. And he’s often in the mood for it. Sex gives him an outlet to work out aggression as well as it just feels good and he enjoys it. Maybe his relationship with sex isn’t the healthiest, but his body craves it near constantly and it hasn’t caused any (serious) problems yet.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Because of his physical stamina and regeneration, it’s extremely unlikely for him to be fatigued after sex. He’ll usually get up to clean up and maybe grab something to eat. If it’s someone casual, he likely isn’t getting back into bed (or wherever they happened to be) until the other person leaves. With a true partner he’d hold them and maybe go to sleep a bit after them if he wanted to. But the sleep isn’t needed for him and he likes to savor any peaceful moment that he can.

[mishy-mashy]

Bruce is actually really attractive, and I have enough reasoning to make a list

He's:

Tall (. Tall enough to hit his head on the vault doorframe)

Long-legged

Has a straight nose bridge

Has high cheekbones (more noticeable in 2nd pic below)

Has a strong jawline

Sharp eyes, but they aren't small (plus eyebags if you're into that)

Overall, he has strong, attractive facial features

Has broad, refined shoulders. You can tell he works out (or he did, when he was alive)

Even has a thick, muscly neck

He has MUSCLE. Is SCULPTED. NOICE. VERY NOICE. (nice arms. Nice shoulders. Nice neck. Nice legs. Nice butt-)

(There are actually panels where you can see some of his muscles. Other than those already shown here, he's got bricky thighs-

-and in the panels where we first get his name dropped, he's got those shoulder blades too-)

The one time we see him smile, and he actually has a scary one

Has small, kinda sharp pupils, and his eyes remind me of a cat. We only ever saw him tense or defensive, so his resting/listening face is really cute

Other than the physical appearance stuff, he also:

Takes shit without batting an eye (patience, knowing it's just how Kudo is, etc)

Kudo being all "Cut the crap Bruce and give it to me straight", after Bruce tests his blood and is rightfully Concerned because they just faced AFO

Put up with Kudo's experimenting and testing over Yoichi's transferable Factor

Did ya'll see the look on Kudo's face when he realized he had Yoichi's Factor/will? Kudo was going to start in nonsense and Bruce just dealt with that.

Also something I noticed when looking back at the images here; Bruce has bandages on his arms in the void. But not when he faced AFO in the sewers.

Were he and Kudo cutting their arms open in their experimenting over Yoichi's theory? Is this why Kudo has two gauntlets instead of his one? Why we never see his bare arms in the void? That he always keeps his arms down so there's no slip?

Is smart enough to run blood tests, plus has enough common sense to pick Shinomori as his successor

He picked a guy who avoids society, has an Ability to detect danger so he can always stay away from AFO, is also a coward so he's never going to go throw himself into danger, even without knowing instinctively he stands no chance, etc.

Meanwhile, Kudo chose Bruce, who he played Hot Potato Yoichi with; but he did also trust Bruce, and put the only pure combative Ability in OFA through Bruce.

These two made their choices based on what they valued and saw the Factor needed.

Is logical, analytical, and calm.

He tried advising Midoriya on their Abilities in One For All, especially his own.

Midoriya then tried ignoring him about using Fa Jin for the first time, but found he was right, thinking: "Dammit!! I had [Lady Nagant] right where I wanted her, but... ugh! The Third was right. My parallel Quirk processes are all screwed up!" (ch. 314).

Plus, when Midoriya fixed his processing mistakes, Bruce was analyzing the way he reached his new conclusion. Pure facts, no bias, very calm, just saying it as it was.

We never see him panic. When he's caught by surprise in the sewers by AFO, Kudo, and Yoichi's little bubble event, he immediately reacts. He doesn't falter, he just knows he has to do something right now.

Was more willing to listen than Kudo to Yoichi's beckon, and probably was just following Kudo's rejection of Midoriya

While we don't see Kudo's face, we see Bruce's eyes when Yoichi calls on his heroes. Bruce was more open and receptive, or at least more impacted.

Bruce was also the one to start talking, while Kudo just kept quiet.

He actually communicates a lot

When Yoichi called them to support Midoriya, Bruce started talking to paint a picture of why they thought the way they did, so Yoichi understood where they were coming from.

(Though he seems to beat about the bush sometimes, since Kudo spoke up to be direct on how they couldn't just put their trust in some starry-eyed teenager. Plus, when Kudo tells him to just tell him what's wrong [double Factors])

When Midoriya first used Fa Jin against Nagant, Bruce came out just to tell him he knew what he was trying, but that Midoriya wasn't ready; and Midoriya found he was right. Midoriya just didn't want to listen to him then.

He asks Kudo for clarification after finding Kudo had two Factors in him after the sewer incident ("Just to be sure, All For One didn't touch you, right?") Kudo knew him well enough to go "stop beating around the bush and tell me", so Bruce was probably gonna start with questions, theories, and trying to understand everything in general, before saying "yeah you have two Factors. Don't know why".

Is strong-willed and loyal.

He followed Kudo, even to death, carrying on the cause he started until it ended with him.

Plus, when talking about how AFO needs a strong will to override OFA's own, we first see Bruce, Kudo, and Yoichi.

AFO couldn't steal OFA because the will was too strong for him, and that was back during Banjo's time. Since Shinomori never actually tried opposing AFO and just hid, we can assume the first Three (Yoichi, Kudo, Bruce) already had an accumulation of strong willpower that made OFA un-stealable. Those three are a strong enough foundation, and the main wills, that the other users just become bonuses.

Kudo, also saying that Midoriya needs allies with the same will and drive as him... hey Kudo, you're talking about yourself and your old allies, aren't you? That's why you look at Yoichi and Bruce when you say this.

Not only is Bruce attractive, but he's got good character. THE END.

[whateverisbeautiful]

How do you think Rick and RJ’s relationship will evolve? Rick was the one who wanted to make him and RJ’s whole personality is his dad. Rick is such a boy dad, do you think it’ll be the same as it was with Carl? What I think is interesting is that RJ is the definition of richonne love, as they both lost their kids and decided to make one together, and is a sign of their commitment together. Rj is so important that they created him to illustrate the epitome of what it means to be richonne, before Rick ever asked Michonne to be his wife- he was supposed to represent their commitment. What I love about RJ and Herschel is that they are evidence that in an apocalypse, race doesn’t matter and you get with who you love, for reasons outside of race. As RJ gets older, and needs to be taught how to be a man, how do you think Rick will navigate teaching him that, while also understanding that he can’t tell RJ what it means to be biracial?

Love these thoughts on RJ and the way he’s a living representation of Rick and Michonne’s love, commitment, and resilience too. I’m absolutely convinced that Rick and RJ’s bond will be special and tight-knit and wrote out the rest of my thoughts below ⬇️💗:

Of all three of his kids, I get the sense that RJ is probably the most similar to Rick in temperament and I feel like they’ll end up having a lot in common. In terms of how I see their relationship evolving, I think at first RJ will understandably gravitate more toward his mom, but then I always imagine that Rick will plan some one-on-one excursion with RJ, and the bonding they do while out will make them two peas in a pod from then on. 

I think elements of Rick’s parenting with Carl will be similar with RJ, but overall I think Rick and RJ will end up having a different dynamic, partly due to Rick getting to raise RJ under far more stable circumstances than he had raising Carl in the early stages of an apocalypse. I think Rick and RJ will have less conflict but still will have to navigate the signature stubbornness that all the Grimes have lol. 

When it comes to learning what it means to be a man, RJ is in great hands learning that from his dad. Rick really is one of the best depictions of healthy masculinity. I think Rick will instill in RJ that being a man is leading by example and being selfless and he’d also remind him that there’s power in both expressing emotion and exhibiting restraint. Like how Rick proved to be ten times the man Shane was - despite Shane questioning if he had what it took - because Rick understood that acting on every impulse is a lot less impactful than having an even-keeled approach.

You also touch on something that I’ve always appreciated which is that their apocalyptic environment really does make it where who people are as human beings is what matters most. That was definitely depicted through most of the couples in the show being interracial. It’s interesting to try and think about how race is addressed between Rick and RJ because being Black would be approached so differently in their world than ours.

But even with race being less of a factor in how people are treated in their world, I think both Michonne and Rick would still feel it’s important that RJ is aware of his identity and history. And I think Rick would acknowledge that he won’t know exactly what it is to walk through the world Black/biracial and that’s where I believe he’d be attentive to RJ expressing what that experience is for him as he grows up. 

[cripplecharacters]

Hello. I am writing about a main character who has Down syndrome (12 years old). How does a child like her would react to mother death and moving to an old house? I want to be respectful while writing her.

Hi asker,

So there are a couple different things to think about.

For one, death of a loved one is hard for everyone, and the death of a parent is very difficult for pretty much all children. Change is hard, and this is a very permanent change that can be very traumatic because a person a kid expects to be with for way more time is now gone. The closer the child was to her mother, the harder this is going to be for her.

On change being hard, ID can make it harder for her to adapt to change. "Harder" does not mean "impossible." "Harder" means maybe they have to make a plan to help her transition to her new living space, maybe it needs to be explained to her more often, things like that. Maybe she needs support from lots of visuals, maybe she's asking questions a lot of the time, maybe she has trouble with doing things because of the stress. And this is from just the change of moving – all of this will likely be compounded with the stress of not having her mother. For this, people can try to help her by trying to provide as much of a sense of normalcy and trying to make sure she can have some sort of... it doesn't have to be a routine per se, just trying to make sure that some things don't change.

Abstract concepts are sometimes hard for kids, although less so by age 12 than for younger children. Abstract concepts can also be more difficult for people with intellectual disability (as is likely the case for your character with Down Syndrome). So, how is the death explained to her?

Best practice to explain death to children, including and especially kids with I/DD, is to use concrete and simple language. Euphemisms don't help much, especially for children, because euphemisms have context behind them that a child doesn't have. Euphemisms can also be misunderstood and unclear.

So, if she actually understands what's going on because people are explaining things to her in a way she can understand, ultimately this is going to be much better for her than if she doesn't understand that her mother isn't coming back because people keep being vague and saying things like "she's in a better place" and she keeps hoping to join her mom in this "better" place. Or it might take some time for her to understand the situation, and she might experience delayed grief.

Who is she moving with? Who is going to take care of her — she's a kid, she can't do it all by herself. Does she know them already? Is she just meeting them? If she's never met them before, this will probably be even more stressful to her — basically every single thing in her life is changing. That's huge. That's stressful and can be hard for her to understand why everything is different.

Overall, at the end of the day she's just a person, a child specifically, being put in an incredibly difficult situation. She has emotions like anyone else — there is a misconception that people with Down Syndrome are always happy, and that's just not true. They have

She's in a situation where adults with zero disabilities would probably have a super rough time as well. Add on to that being a kid, and add on to that being intellectually disabled, and it's probably going to be a really stressful situation. So, think about how your character reacts when she's stressed out, and factor in her disability.

Here's some links to grief and I/DD and grief and children. I have read through them, though not all of them at length. They do have information that you can use, whether on how she'd react or how others around her could react, but either way use your own judgement.

Helping People With Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities Process Grief by the Boggs Center on Developmental Disabilities (PDF file)

Responding to Grief Reactions of People with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities by the Boggs Center on Developmental Disabilities (PDF File)

Bereavement In The Lives Of People With Intellectual Disabilities by the University of Hertfordshire's website on Intellectual Disability and Health

Managing Grief Better: People with Intellectual Disabilities by the University of Hertfordshire's website on Intellectual Disability and Health

Helping People With Intellectual Disabilities Cope With Loss by the Vanderbilt Kennedy Center (PDF File)

Hope this helps,

mod sparrow

[bottombaron]

So after staring into the middle distance for a couple days I'm ready to start discussing some theories I have before the season finale destroys us. They are all very wide-ranging in absurdity but I'll start with the one that I think has the most substance and therefore I think is most likely to happen. Also, I haven’t caught up with the tag yet so if someone already posted these theories, sorry! 

So here is Theory #1, known otherwise as,

Why (I think) I know how Laszlo is going to unfuck Guillermo

The solution, I believe, was stated at the very end of The Roast by Laszlo himself: 

FIRST THOUGHT, BEST THOUGHT

Laszlo has spent weeks deeply committed to solving a problem. He's wasted precious time trying to outthink his first (and probably best) solution – and I'm not just talking about his book sorting. Neither was Laszlo, not entirely at least. I actually do think he was focused at least a little bit on his books because that's kind of what happens when you're stuck on a problem. Your brain wanders to other much less taxing ordeals. Usually, as you solve that smaller problem, you find the solution to the thing you really want to solve. 

So what was Laszlo’s first idea?

All along Laszlo had the answer but Guillermo told him that he didn't think it would work, so Laszlo just didn't pursue it further. (We don't even know if Laszlo knows the circumstances of the test and why it didn't work. Just that Guillermo didn't approve that idea.) So then Laszlo wasted valuable time and energy trying to ~Science~ this problem instead of using his true best skill that was showcased in episode one of the season: his charm. His powers of persuasion (the classical art of bullshitting, as it were) is his true super power. (Sadly, it’s not science. He doesn't really have the patience for science tbh).

But, no, rly, he should bullshit his way thru this. That's what he does best. He can outthink Nandor easily. (well….maybe. with the time spent on his experiments, Nandor could have the advantage of several weeks, if not months, to figure things out beforehand, as dense as he is) He should concoct a bullshit so impenetrable that it unfucks Guillermo from Derek and refucks him to Nandor. 

Further foreshadowing of this you ask?

(this whole season is dedicated to ‘plans’ it’s crazy how much A Plan pops up. maybe i’ll dedicate a separate post to collecting them all)

But alas! The test that The Baron did proved this wouldn’t work, right!?

Well here's some free additional theories to how Laszlo could solve that hiccup:

1. Laszlo figures out (and solves) the reason why The Baron/Neighbor test didn't work in the first place.

There could be any number of factors of why The Baron's neighbor blew up. It could be that The Baron is all that more powerful than the average vampire and so his bite gives an extraordinary fill of uh...vampire-ness? and Derek, being so young and weak, doesn't do much at all. Maybe it has something to do with The Sire. If The Baron was turned by the first being ever affected by vampirism, then maybe that vampirism is slowly depleted the further down the line you go. Derek is probably very far removed from The Sire which means he cannot transfer much of that affliction onwards. Nandor, if he was turned by The Baron (one removed from The Sire) or someone similar, explains how he is so powerful, hopefully tho he wouldn’t have too much power to possibly overwhelm Guillermo's half-a-virgin body (and yes I did like how kinky that sounded when I wrote it). It doesn't really matter the exact reason as long as Laszlo can convince Guillermo to try it and he has a relatively decent chance of surviving it. (convincing Guillermo to go thru with this plan overall is probably going to be the most trouble actually. you don't easily forget a guy exploding in your face)

2. Something to do with the experiments. (or the Nadja’s bait-and-switch tactic she used to catch The Baron/Guillermo from The Roast)

I have a larger theory on the experiments and why I think there's still one in the house, but that's for later. During The Roast, Nandor is pretty convinced that the mutant Guillermo is the real one (despite one pretty big glaring error: he has no glasses. none of the experiments need glasses...), Laszlo might have been testing this theory by having The Baron bring his body to Nandor in the first place in order to see how convinced Nandor would be by it. This might be enough for Laszlo to try to use a duplicate of Guillermo for Nandor to bite. The duplicate will not explode (probably?) due to only being a hybrid of Guillermo's blood and an animal…or something(one) else pretending to be Guillermo… (and if it does, maybe Laszlo plans to shoo Nandor out of the line of sight in order for him not to see. And then you get the angst and drama of Guillermo literally using a scapegoat to take his 'sin' despite his reluctance to hurt innocent creatures)

But will the fake Guillermo actually convince Nandor? It's hard to say, and I love that threat of Nandor realizing that it's not the true Guillermo he bit and feeling even more betrayed. Maybe Laszlo concocts a whole ambiance to the event in order to sell the lie. It has to be special right?

So there's dim lights and candles and (fake) Guillermo is laid out in Nandor's coffin and there's this whole presentation element to it that was left out of Guillermo's turn with Derek. It's more like the fantasy that Guillermo probably always had of being turned by Nandor. It plays out like a romantic love scene. But Guillermo is asleep or has his eyes closed and won't talk or maybe only makes small noises and Nandor's very upset abt this. Laszlo is probably hovering too and Nandor doesn't like that either but Laszlo insists he must be there and it's now it's all awkward and wrong, kind of like how Guillermo felt before he was bit by Derek. (now it’s like Nandor is the bull cucking Laszlo in front of him) Nandor goes thru with it and bites Guillermo and is rushed by Laszlo so he doesn't get to drink or drink too much of his blood and there's fumbling with trying to get his own blood into Guillermo's unresponsive mouth.

Or maybe Nandor finds out because Guillermo's blood is disgusting and he either knows or had hoped it would be good tasting*. or that Guillermo just lays there and there's no reciprocation of desire. But maybe he just doesn't find out and once it's over he expects to be able to lay with Guillermo or otherwise be there for his turning but Laszlo quickly rushes him out of his own room and closes the door behind him.

So now Nandor feels all the same despondency that Guillermo had felt with his turn with Derek. Like this big special moment he's built up for years was a complete dud. Like he missed out on something truly magical and he doesn't know why. And Guillermo will feel like shit too, for tricking Nandor. Laszlo isn't happy either. But it worked and they all just have to live with it. Meanwhile this act that was meant to make Nandor's and Guillermo's bond stronger, only serves to create even greater distance between them. 

Re*: evidence that Guillermo's blood might taste 'different':

3. ANYWAYS. that was theory two. lets talk about theory 3.

WITCHES.

I actually think there's good reason Laszlo has divorced Science and is now going to have an affair with Magic. It's exactly when Nadja says 'has this hex turned me into an uggo' that Laszlo comes to life and exclaims ‘that's it!’. If science wasn't the solution, maybe magic is. It's not like they don't know some witches, or that, at least to a degree, witches actually have some power. (specifically the power to look, vaguely, like someone else.) I'm not certain of the specifics but there's a chance Laszlo could be turning to magic to solve his problems. This would also bring Nadja's storyline more relevant and in focus for the season. The thing I like the most about this theory? Episode 9 describes being invited to a manor owned by someone named Morrigan. Morrigan is a Celtic goddess of war and fate that was probably the inspiration for Arthurian legendary sorceress, Morgan le Fay. (Laszlo's name may also be connected to Arthurian legend, Lancelot. but that probably doesn't mean anything.)

So! That's my three extra theories attached to this one big theory that Laszlo is going to go 'back to the beginning' and use his first thought to solve this. Go with his gut. His first solution was his best solution, all along.

…He simply needs to convince Nandor to turn Guillermo.

The, uh, details of this plan may be a lot more complicated than it suggests.

[anistarrose]

The thing about the Heart Attack segment in Wonderland is that they put so much aromantic subtext in it. They accidentally put SO much aromantic subtext in it, on behalf of multiple characters, and I'm thinking about it constantly. Let me tell you all about it.

Magnus is dropped into a dating game and literally leads with "I cannot stress enough how uninterested I am in this." Now, it's perfectly valid to read this as due to him waiting for Julia, or just him being plain old uncomfortable with having his love life put in the spotlight. However! I cannot stress enough the exchange that happens just a minute or two after that line:

Magnus (describing his ideal date): ... and we don't see each other again, ‘cause I'm really not interested in dating. Audience: [exaggerated] Oooooh! (cheers) Griffin: The silhouette is like, fanning itself. Lydia: Playing hard to get, huh? It seems like our contestant is into that.

And I just have to say: unfortunately, this is one of the most aromantic fucking experiences I've seen represented in fiction in my life. I mean — saying you're not interested in romance, then having those words twisted on you, like they're some secret coded way of saying that you are interested in romance? Not having a single way to express your disinterest that'll actually be believed? That's some aro shit right there. God. Fuck.

As an aside, it's enough to really tell that Heart Attack is not designed to be a reprieve from the pain, even though it's the "good outcome" of Trust or Forsake. It's designed to be uncomfortable. To funnel suffering to Edward and Lydia, just like all the other games do. (More on that later, in fact.) But in summary:

Magnus is a character who can be read as uncomfortable with romance for either aro-spec reasons or unrelated reasons. But in either case, his discomfort attracts reactions that reek of amatonormativity — and therefore, resonate with aromantic experiences. (Psst, I did recently write a gray-aro Magnus fic!)

Two more analyses below the cut (and only one of them is for another Horny Boy):

Obviously the next character I need to talk about is Merle. I've found aroallo readings of his character to be compelling for a long time (having sex with plants so you don't have to worry about romantic commitment, am I right?), but the way he describes his "ideal date" is another factor:

Merle: I volunteer to drive her vehicle, and tell her it's filthy, and so we go through the uh- drive through vehicle wash and she pays for that too. Um, and then I take her to have dinner with my family, and- Magnus: Wait, like your wife and stuff? Merle: She meets my ex-wife.

Merle's probably exaggerating as a joke, continuing on about both him and his partner being miserable, but I think the fact that Merle's mind goes here is genuinely drawing from a lot of poor romantic experiences in the past. He didn't get a choice about being on Heart Attack, and his marriage with Hecuba was similarly "arranged".

It's also worth noting that at this point in time, Merle is putting in the work to be part of Mavis and Mookie's lives again, but is not interested in doing the same for Hecuba — he instead just asks Mavis how Hecuba's doing. That said, given that Magnus is the one to put the focus on Merle's ex-wife, I think it's fair to read the "family" comment as Merle actually expressing that he'd rather spend time with his kids than give any special romantic attention to his date. Moving on to the rest of the "joke":

Merle: She's having a miserable time and she's really mad, she can't wait to get outta there. I take her back to her house, and so I lean up against the door jam and say, 'Sure you don't want me to come in for a few minutes?' and she slams the door in my face.

It's possible Merle just has a more roundabout, self-deprecating way of expressing a similar thing to what Magnus did: Merle just isn't interested in dating. To me, the last line implies he might not say no to sex, if offered — but overall, it reads as if Merle is putting minimal effort in because he's looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship anyway.

It's also possible that Merle's "rejection" of a suitor being so disguised as humor could point to him still coming to terms with his disinterest in dating. Particularly, in comparison to Magnus, who is so vocal and unashamed about it, while Merle might still be figuring this all out.

(Honestly, the self-deprecation Merle turns to here is actually kind of sad, when viewed in that light — he already lets himself be the butt of jokes so often, and now he feels like the way romance doesn't click for him has to be a joke, too? Oof. Someone give him a hug and tell him he's not broken this instant!) But regardless:

Merle views dates, and perhaps romance in general, as things that will inevitably turn disastrous for him and any party involved with him, and he would rather spend time with his children than repairing a relationship with an ex, or cultivating a relationship with a new partner. This is not an experience exclusive to the aro-spec umbrella, but you can't say that an aromantic reading of his character doesn't fit him like a gardening glove...

...which he wears while fucking his plants. Because plants don't demand emotional intimacy, nor take too much time away from the platonic relationships that matter more to him. And you know what? He's fucking valid for that! Fly your flag, nasty grandpa!

But moving on: I promised you aromantic analysis of characters outside of our protagonists, and henceforth, that analysis I will provide. And not just because I admittedly see Taako as the token alloromantic (though clearly an aro ally; if he hadn't chosen Forsake we wouldn't have gotten all this incredible characterization!)

I digress. So let's go on to addressing the lich twins in the room: Edward and Lydia.

Remember my argument earlier that Heart Attack serves the purpose of collecting suffering just like the rest of Wonderland does? How it's just a subtler way of making Wonderland's victims fundamentally uncomfortable?

...Using, of all things, romance?

How the vogue twins, for whatever reason, felt inspired to make people uncomfortable with matchmaking and adoration? How, some way or another, they noticed how much potential romance had to induce suffering? Being pressured into a relationship, being told that no matter how firmly you say you're uninterested, you're not really uninterested?

...Relatedly, I have always gotten the sense that Edward and Lydia projected relentlessly onto their victims.

Edward: This resolve, this desire to do whatever it takes no matter the cost to save yourselves — do you know who you three remind me of? Magnus: No? Merle: Who? Edward: Us!

I'm even going to go a step further and say that on top of projection, they want their victims to go through things they went through. Swallowing the guilt of having fucked someone else over to survive, of course — that's basically self-admitted. But possibly also... the feeling of not being able to get back what you lost (Keats). The feeling of not being able to heal (Keats).

So, where does that leave Heart Attack?

Lydia: It was the three of us, surviving against all odds. The world against us.

Their family of three was (is) indescribably important to them. I'm not necessarily saying that societal expectations of romance, especially of romance as a priority above that of family, left a bad taste in their mouths — if not downright contributing to their trauma — but, okay, I wrote the rest of this post and now that I'm back, I can no longer deny it. I'm definitely, absolutely saying that.

At the time of the podcast, we know Edward and Lydia's own relationship is heavily strained. Until the end, they are lying to themselves and to each other about the fact that they continue to be emotionally and magically reliant on each other. After all, Lydia wouldn't say "I guess we really needed each other after all" in her dying moments with such surprise otherwise.

This is the second reason that I... well, I wouldn't quite call it a "theory," but I find it most impactful to read Edward and Lydia as characters for whom the concept of Love has baggage. And always has, from their origins as youth in a tough spot in an already amatonormative world.

Maybe the constant societal devaluing of platonic, familial bonds left them with serious emotional scars. Maybe the constant conflation of Love and morality just weighed on them and weighed on them and weighed on them until they decided: well, we don't love the way people expect us to, so we might as well give up on being the good people they expect us to be. We might as well embrace this new fuel of suffering.

...And you know, I hope this gets across what I mean when I always say I headcanon villains as aromantic to make them more sympathetic.

Edward and Lydia, textually, are already tragic villains. As twins and liches, they're also textually foil characters to several of the Seven Birds. But I also like to think that they have a lot in common with Magnus and Merle, and the possibility that tugs at my heartstrings the most is the possibility of them all falling under the aromantic umbrella.