#pretty sure they made me trans too
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Why are you gay? 🎤
I watched too much Dragon Ball Z and Yu Yu Hakusho as a child.
Vegeta and Hiei awoken something within me at a young age. 😔
#pretty sure they made me trans too#if there's anything you need to know about me#its my love for hiei to this day#asks
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Feast your eyes! My pride stars :)!
#pride stars#origami#paper craft#paper stars#handmade#arts and crafts#so it was my cities pride yesterday and I spent the ENTIRE month of July making these lil stars to give out to people!#it went really well actually#I was saying donations appreciated but not mandatory and some people looked so happy just to have some stars!!!#some people were SO generous too like oh my god????#I think there was only one experience I disliked during the event where I was vaguely swarmed and people were helping themselves but#yknow we all get excited haha#got a really cute mushroom bracelet as a trade as well!!!#I have a fair few leftover - lots of aro and ace ones#couple of bi and a couple of pan#ZERO non-binary I should've made more!!#nd obvs some rainbow and trans cause I made the most of them#I'd say lmk if you're near me and you can have some but I am pretty sure none of you know me irl so you can't have any I'm afraid#oh also worth saying - I made the stars I could with the papers I had! Bought purple and pink but I did not try more complex flags cause#I mean. I couldn't really afford to haha?#maybe next year I'll try the lesbian flag too!#ok bye xx#trade-marked
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man, you ever realize you needed to correct a small character detail to make it more accurate and then it peeves you off a lil 💀💀💀
#specifically I just swapped around the eye colors for my splatoon agent 4's heterochromia because APPARENTLY#red is pretty dark when grayscaled . and the reason i wanted to grayscale it in the first place was for whenever#i do a colorless doodle of them (grayscale values are fun)- but now 'm teased over the bday art i made of him cuz its inaccurate#ngl been beefin with his eyecolor a while but 'm just gonna try to stick with what i got- cant go changin it all willy nilly cuz it'll also#affect his brothers' appearances . i think a red and gray eye tho is a nifty color combo but then that makes me beef with hair design .#still not sure how im really gonna go about coloring splatoon OCs' hair cuz i like colored tips but also i tend to like#making it game accurate?? i think i just need to suck it up and do what i want forever (do colored tips even if theyre a lil harder)#i mention colored tips cuz originally they were a light blue . but i dont want TOO many different colors (i already have#yellow/red/gray on him so blue might be much) :( and like I could maybe just change the gray eye to blue but then???#it'll make his brother have the wrong eye color in the trans roblox drawing :( plus theres kind of a reason i made an eye red and the other#something plain (the contrast in colored appearance wise . plus my agent 4 is hella self conscious abt his looks) so its not#like i can really change it . augh im at a loss on what to do !! mm might just make it so that the colored tips go darker#rather than colored. HC that not all cephalopods have colored tips but rather it just fades darker and vice versa??#hhh the misery of character design sometimes#ash chats
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If there was ever a shadow of a doubt that Dragona is transgender, this chapter was sure as fuck confirmation! 👀
#pretty heavy depiction of transmisogyny#Jodio lighting that bus aflame was amazing; great kid & great brother#I think this was the first JJBA chapter that made me really truly uncomfortable but I say that as praise#this chapter rightfully was a difficult read because it depicted actual realistic transphobia#& this is just looking at the dragona joestar interactions through the lens of transness#I’m sure there’s someone far more educated who is talking about the racial parts of Jojolands & it’s depictions of cops & this chapter too#regardless of how dragona identifies this is absolutely the depiction of transmisogyny real people face; dragona is trans & this can be#denied no longer#mine#op#jojolands spoilers#dragona joestar#jjba part 9#jojolands#jojo part 9#jojo no kimyō na bōken#jojo’s bizarre adventure#jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jjba spoilers
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i'm #newtoradblr i've spent so much time these past two weeks scrolling through radfem blogs i knew i had to make an actual radfem side of tumblr blog for my own sanity. the way i "peaked" is kinda funny 3-4 months ago i liked a radfem post without realizing and all of a sudden i had other radfem posts recommended to me by the algorithm and i was so annoyed because i was very anti-terf etc but for a couple days i read through a bunch of radfem blogs and it was actually such a relief to encounter FEMINISM not some watered down version of it but i felt guilty due to 5+ years of conditioning (and also because i had a nonbinary friend sitting right next to me in class as i was doing this) and i also didn't like the prominent use of the word moid? but anyway, 3 months later, i'm not sure why but the mra nature of the trans movement has grown so much more apparent to me i have like three mutuals who are trans men on my other blog and i would find myself rereading the few feminist posts i would reblog/write because these people are literally reblogging shit like "don't think like a terf. men aren't your oppressors, they're your friends/neighbors/brothers/fathers. if you think that any man could harm you you have been fooled by terf rhetoric" like actual morons/meninists. anyway two weeks ago i saw a post made by someone i knew was a radfem on my twitter tl and i don't know why i knew i was ready i went through her blog and through many others and now here i am.
#still dislike the word moid i know it's in response to 4chan people saying shit like femoid but it reads too much like a racist slur for me#to be cool with people saying it#i don't mean it reads like a racist slur towards men i mean it's way too reminiscent of the word negroid#it really made me think people were right about radical feminism being a gateway to being a conservative because...it literally feels#racist to me lmao i don't think i'll ever like it#gonna go follow the few blogs i followed on my main + others now#and i was actually always pretty radical in my feminism i was never what one would call a libfem i just wasn't A RadFem because i was into#the whole trans thing#it's different when you're not on tumblr/not exclusively interacting with trans people on the internet. people taking such an issue with#feminism and claiming that its most basic aspects (men oppress women) are transphobic and terf rhetoric is really only a thing on tumblr#and in those circles it's especially different when you're not talking in english#and i'm pretty sure everyone i follow on twitter supports trans people but the mra nature of trans right activism just has not hit them the#way it has hit tumblr they're still very normal about feminism it's actually so nice to go there and say i hate men with no caveat#the only people who would bother me if they came across my tweets saying that would be: cis men misogynists and people on the far right in#general#crazy that on tumblr it's the most leftist people i'd have to worry about hahaha...#ipost
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at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/
#the thing that really got me was that they were talking about their morality ocd triggering them about it#bc of the way tumblr and the internet in general has this black and white approach to things#and one of those i guess was 'transphobes = bad' which like. is not what i'm ever talking about when i say that things have more nuance#that said i DO think that the way this website prioritizing hating terfs over supporting trans people is kinda gross#but anyway this person was so anxious about it and it just was depressing bc i related to that#they were SO afraid of losing friends or being cancelled over it and i was just like damn i wonder if all terfs are that miserable#but they acted like they just had no choice but to believe this 'thing' that they constantly alluded to but never talked outright about#which i am pretty sure now is just that they're a radfem or at least believe in a lot of radfem ideologies#and honestly? i go back and forth between genuinely feeling so bad for them and being like well that's what you fucking get#i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety#sorry for the very long tag ramble i just haven't been able to talk about this and it's been eating ME up too for a long time#i just feel horrible. i know in the past they've mentioned too how they want people to tell them why if they unfollow/block them#but i can't. i cannot. and then i'm afraid of just feeding into their victim complex by doing this#i just can't win. and it's like. i'm trans i am literally affected by their bigotry that they're acting like is just not even a choice#ALSO I REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE A POST ONCE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IRL DON'T TALK ABOUT TRANS STUFF#LIEK IDK WHAT PLANET YOU ARE LIVING ON MY DUDE BUT I HAVE LIKE 5 TRANS COWORKERS AND EVERYONE IS VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM#like maybe YOU live in a bad area#but you're just a really loud minority#anyway. yeah. just. oof.#still feeling some kind of anxiety about it#win rambles
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You genuinely need to heal I’m not even kidding if u still feel falsely validated by the “Preferences” being abused/unalived/turned into baby mothers/etc that shit is still devastating why are u so happy other women are being abused. Another woman being unalived doesn’t mean that he loves you. Being male identified will literally end u, sis.
Think about *why* you associate your crush literally MURDERING his “preference” with him “loving and desiring” you, instead. Do u hold the subconscious belief that he would do the same to you and blame it on you being dark skinned because he hates himself? Sis, WAKE UP, THE PROJECTION!!!!
#abuse tw#shadow work#black women divest#oh yeahs I absolutely include trans women don’t even play with me lmao#anyways#I was mostly raised by women so that explains why my standards have always been so high lol#idk the ppl who raised me weren’t that male identified so there lmao#my npc dad made damn sure to teach me that women were the prize so there’s that lol#it’s so weird being harassed by self hating black men for being dark skinned#but the SECOND they see me up close then I’m treated like a depedestalized preference 🙄#lol it’s confusing by design#but then would call me self hating and ‘selfish’ ok what exactly specifically do I owe you QUICKLY NOW#cus before I was a crusty black bitch#but since u see I benefit from featurism and texturism I’m ’one of the good ones’ FUCK YOU NIGGA LMFAOOOO#me being dark skinned doesn’t grant u grace or access BITCH#and I’m also one of those ‘too pretty to be a lesbian’ lesbians no matter how hard I try lmfao#I wish I could only be seen by women ngl#I wasn’t raised to believe any of this shit was normal so divestment wasn’t that hard of a choice tbh#I already never gave a fuck about neurotypical social norms so I basically steamroll their fragile egos by not even acknowledging the games
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FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT CH 1 PG 36
Infested will return on June 27th. --- Thank you to the following Ascended supporters: @chaogongoozles, @fiiresiidefrfr, @elizard4227, @grogar, Ezzoh, @susivoi, @calculuscacophony, Eros, @ivycorp, @summersdale @borrelia, @mizukiz, @sanicdetails, @combinegrunt-echo-1, Pica, @veeceear, @quackenburt, ItsmeMonarch, @memendoemori, @trans-girl-sonic, & savarsenic
Content Warnings | Store | Ko-Fi (Discord!) | Read On Comic Fury! DISCLAIMER: "Infested" is a horror comic ft. content not suitable for those under the age of 17.
A long-winded looking back on things below the cut:
The first few pages of Infested were uploaded to this blog on March 2nd, 2023 -- Over a whole year ago! I was so busy, too, that I completely missed its birthday (Sorry Infested). Looking even further back than that, the original story was was something I began writing on December 25th, 2022 (Merry Christmas).
It took two years to get to this point.
And hey, not to toot my own horn about it, but completing even one chapter of a webcomic is a big deal. Especially for me. My first webcomic, Fight/Flight, didn't get very far. I completed the prologue, started Chapter 1, and then had to drop it for a number of reasons (I didn't really agree with what baby-me had to say, politically, anymore).
This comic was born from a lot of intense feelings. The story, itself, too. Some good. Some bad.
I had been forced to move away from my hometown, and with that move, I lost the physical connection that I had to all of my friends. I lost the familiarity of a place I'd known for most of my life. I'm now stuck somewhere... Worse. It felt like a cage. Still does. Disconnected from the life I thought I would be living after college. I didn't have health insurance, either -- Got kicked off of it because of the move -- And as a result, I was off my antidepressants.
So there I was, at a pretty low point in my life. I miserable and lonely and every single day dragged on. And on. And on. And I felt so disappointed in myself. That disappointment became self-loathing, and it all kinda spiraled.
Have I mentioned that I'm a huge Sonic fan? I don't think I need to. I'd say it's pretty obvious. But for the sake of this story, I'll say it again: I'm a HUGE Sonic fan. I've been that way since 2003 with Sonic Heroes. The franchise has been in my life for over two decades. I had a monthly mail subscription to Archie's Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog was something that I truly loved more than any other piece of media. It brought me endless joy. Until I didn't.
I had dropped Sonic after Lost World was... Itself. I had already felt pretty irritated with the Meta Era, and Lost World was the final straw. The last bit of hope that the series could recover was snuffed out when Forces was released. It was over. I was done. If Sonic was truly that embarrassed by itself, if they had truly lost touch with what made the series so great, then I wouldn't waste my time any longer. I was so sure that I had to just... Grieve and move on. My beloved childhood game series was dead. Long live the king or whatever. I'd just bitterly read IDW Sonic and think about what could've been. I was lucky to have that comic, at least. Archie had been canceled, too, after all. I was lucky to have my scraps.
Then Sonic Frontiers came out. And it changed everything.
And my god, it was everything. It was everything to me. Flaws be damned, it was everything. To. Me. The spectacle. The serious tone. The vastly improved writing. Kellin Fucking Quinn. It was FUN! It was actually FUN to PLAY. He was back. I was back. Sonic pulled me by my hand out of the ocean of misery I'd fallen into, and he looked me in my eye and he said;
"Hey. You're gonna be alright."
Metaphorically speaking. Sonic The Hedgehog didn't actually literally speak to me -- And sure, okay, maybe it's a little dramatic to describe a game as this great Depression Annihilator but I'm dead serious when I say that, for that time, before I was able to get back on my meds, I was self-medicating with Sonic.
Sonic was all I was thinking about. I reread the Unleashed arc in Archie Sonic, which got me sorta realizing something, and which led to my post where I said something along the lines of "Sonic would hide a zombie bite."
Archie Sonic would, at least. Because he basically did do that in the Unleashed arc of that comic. He let that problem fester until it became an even bigger problem because, ironically, he didn't want to be a problem.
So one thing led to another. I thought more about Sonic becoming a zombie. Bada-bing, bada-boom, Infested was born.
I didn't expect it to get the attention that it did. I felt lucky when the first page I drew Rouge on (Page 6 I think?) blew up. The right people saw it at the right time. I'm extremely grateful for that.
I'm extremely grateful for all of you.
So yeah, one chapter. Woo! Here's to many more.
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still in disbelief about how mizu5 genuinely captures the subtleties of transmisogyny so accurately like nothing else i've seen before especially with the nuances with which mizuki's story is told … all it takes is a single sentence, a few words … i love that the classmates saying that shit don't even … realize how cruel they are, bc that's how it /is/ and bc "oh no, we said something weird to a Normal Girl, that makes us look bad" - transmisogyny is just a punchline to a joke for them, that's how detached they are from their own cruelty and it's really not any different from the 'average' misogyny and how that tends to be a joke amongst boys. what ena ended up being exposed to is really just the classmates' 'boy's locker room talk' leaking out, so to speak? ena's probably heard jokes from people about how unfeminine her behavior is in the past and she quickly spits out "that's not funny" bc ena and mizuki are both "pretty girls" who like fashion and dolling themselves up, and hearing them talk about how mizuki's cute in this way … i'm sure it reminds her of her own experiences with being an 'influencer' - people like her when she shuts up and makes herself cute and appealing and ena must've absolutely received her fair share of comments and messages from weirdos for posting selfies of herself online, but i think what drives this home to me as such a fantastic narrative is the way that they call mizuki "attractive as long as she's not making any trouble and being a pain" bc it really speaks to how trans girls are objectified and only deemed 'acceptable' as long as they make themselves into limpless dolls who are acceptable targets for any form of abuse and misogyny instead of trying to claim their own subjectivity as women, so there's so much crossover in how mizuki's experiences work alongside ena's? but also mizuki faces so much more constant and direct criticism, all her actions and choices so closely under scrutiny.
mizuki loves and appreciates the attention of girls and when she first met ena she saw herself in the art that ena made - ena draws a girl in pain and mizuki goes "she's me". in the scene where mizuki gets outed, ena is speechless not bc she thinks mizuki is "gross" or bc she's mad mizuki "tricked" her? she's just horrified that she just got degendered /by association/ and then had to listen to these boys speak about the girl she's in love with in this /aggressively/ violent way, especially since mizuki has a meltdown, knowing, apologizing for hurting, even as ena would absolutely say "no, i'm sorry, im sorry, please don't hate vourself" bc mizuki feels like she's the one at fault for feeling like ena would assume the worst of her, but mizuki also feels like she doesn't have the right to be angry at people … this is the first time we get to see mizuki's rage and it's so palpable … i love so much that she hates the idea of niigo's kindness being born out of her 'abnormality' as a trans girl … she hates everything about this. she hates the idea of coming out, she hates the idea of having a question attached to her girlhood..
mizuki logically knows that niigo are going to accept her bc they've also gone through so much turmoil themselves and understand what it's like to be on the fringes of society, but she still can't shake off all those intrusive thoughts about how they might only accept her out of pity or consideration bc they feel too bad for her rather than a genuine understanding and the idea that things might change between them bc of that is too terrifying to embrace… such patronizing 'kindness' burns too much for mizuki to accept, so she'd rather run away and shut herself out completely… for mizuki it's like being stuck on a bridge where the only two ways out are ones where nothing changes and this hurts in its own way bc she can't tell how much of it would be genuine and how much would be an act and the other way is them /trying too hard/ to be considerate and this can easily become alienating bc mizuki truly just wants to be "one of the girls" in the most natural sense? she doesn't want to be made to feel like she's being accommodated, but there's also all the guilt that she's been internalizing for being "deceptive" and not saying the truth sooner that further complicates things and makes her feel like she's undeserving of any kindness that she may be offered… even though she genuinely was going to tell ena the truth herself, it doesn't matter anymore bc someone else told her before she even got the chance to do so herself and that's something she actually wished would happen in the past, so is there anyone to blame but herself? mizuki's entire thing is that until now she's been "writing" a fictionalized cis girl version of herself when she's with niigo and obscuring her own transness bc she doesn't want to be treated as an Other or have an asterisk attached to her girlhood bc she just wants to be treated as one of them instead of having to explain herself or prove anything but she has her facade violently stripped away from her in the most traumatic way imaginable and now she's entrapped within dysphoria induced suicidal ideation...
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I’m Trans and Insane and I’m doing fine.
[TW Psychosis, transphobia, psychophobia, medication, psych ward]
“Are you sure ?” she asked.
I remember looking back at her in disbelief, because that was certainly a question I never asked her when she came out.
“Why do you ask ?” I say.
“Dude, I’ve seen you go into depersonalization so hard you even thought you were a human soul in a robot vessel and now, you want me to trust you when you say that you, too, are trans ?”
That’s the memory that comes back to me as I fold and put in my bag my psychiatrist’s note attesting that I suffer from gender dysphoria, NOT LINKED to any psychotic symptoms. Here it goes in my folder with my prescription note, an increase - again - of my anti depressants and Xan, and my endocrinologist’s HRT prescription, increased too - finally.
I go to two separate pharmacies to pick up each prescription for two reasons:
There is only one in this godforsaken town that always had testosterone in stock.
I can’t explain to you with words the look you can get when you give back to back, to someone who, despite not being a doctor, works in healthcare, a note for trans HRT and then a note for psychiatric meds.
And I’m lucky, because I’m not taking antipsychotics anymore. Contrarily to what you could think, it doesn’t magically makes the voices and the shadowy people disappear, but it can make a mess of your head pretty bad and my doctor and I both agreed that I didn’t need more damage up here than what I already had. And no, it doesn’t make your delusions vanish magically too: in fact, I was still pretty certain that I was talking to my soul family out here in Argentine telepathically about my mission on Earth, the meds just made it more difficult to understand their voices, but the belief was still solid.
Anyways, I’m back home with the Hoy Grail I fought tooth and nails to get: a letter from the Sacred Council of Mental Sanity also known as Psychiatry that I was, indeed, a bit delulu, but also trans, and that both things didn’t play into each other. My transness wasn’t a delusion, my delusions didn’t have anything to do with being trans.
Or did it ?
Chicken or egg, you know the drill. Did I have my selves fractured before and one of the piece that shattered my brain happened to make me trans or was I just trans with a shitload of traumas in the back that made me insane ?
But don’t worry, at least, trans people when we’re together, we have each other’s back ! Right ?
“Transidentity ISN’T a mental illness !! We don’t DESERVE to be FORCIBLY LOCKED UP and MEDICATED and MADE TO CONFORM FOR OTHER’S SENSE OF SECURITY !!”
Neither do I, RIGHT ?
Oh
Or do I ?
Remember what she said, my girlfriend, right at the beginning ?
How I can’t be trusted about myself when sometimes I don’t even have a sense of self anymore or I have too much selves who fight against each other ?
And what do we say to that ?
Get treatment. Get in-patient. Take medication. And for the love of God, shut the fuck up about it, you’re giving us a bad name.
Because being trans and crazy can’t exist. It’s absurd. You have to fix one of these two things. Choose which jacket I’ll wear, and they call it a straitjacket for a reason it seems, so am I queer or am I insane ?
All I know today is there isn’t a universe in which I’m a trans without any mental illnesses, or mentally ill without being trans. And yet, I can’t tell you how many time I got asked “do you think you’d be trans if you never got through [x trauma] ?”. I. Don’t. Know. I’ll never know. And I deserve just as much agency as you get despite being mentally ill. If you don’t believe in that, don’t come yapping about “liberation for all of us”, but “if one of us is crazy they’ll all think I am too and that can’t happen”.
No LGBTQIAA+ person deserves to be told they need to be put away, to be cured, to be allowed out in the open only if they’re deemed “acceptable” by society’s standards. And no mentally ill people deserve to either.
No trans person should be going through years of counseling to have the access to HRT.
And I shouldn’t have had to threaten my own mother’s life to avoid being locked in an adult psych ward at 14.
If you ever think, for one second, that these two things have nothing to do with one another, you are far removed from history.
To hear queer people say “yeah but some mentally ill people are dangerous !” feels like you don’t even know where you come from.
And if I want to say, that me being trans is linked to me being mentally ill, or at least, that both are connected in a way, all hell breaks fucking loose.
So I’ll explain very carefully.
See, when I was young, my mind got shattered into a thousand of pieces I had to try to glue back on. All these pieces of myself broke further more down the line because I couldn’t catch a fucking break. And now, it happens that the final puzzle does not have the same face it had before. It happens that its shape changed over time, for reasons over the control of all of us who tried to build ourselves back. Now there’s a bigger picture, less pieces, a few other shadows, and me. Built from the shatters. With my own needs and afflictions.
And whoever you are, whatever your agenda might be, I will not let anyone take any agency away from me under the false pretext that I can’t know anything for myself. They say that about children, they say that about minorities, about physically disabled people, about the people they want OUT. And my trans siblings, you know that.
I came out for the first time 7 years ago, to my then girlfriend, who was the one asking the question that is the first sentence of this text. I came out a second time 3 years ago. Been on HRT, had top surgery, had psychotic breaks, got my meds changed, switch therapist.
Because I am trans and crazy. And yet, all these choices I made, I made myself. It didn’t have to be that hard to get the basic care I needed. It didn’t need to be. But it WAS. And I’m part of the lucky crowd of people who had access to out-patient treatment, who never have been locked up in ward, who managed to stay alive through meds withdrawals without medical assistance when I had no therapist.
Be very careful of when you start to put conditions on the rights you think you deserve. Be very, very careful about your definition of sanity and of how it warps the way you see people. When you start to say “I have access to that, but there’s people like X or Y who shouldn’t BECAUSE”, pause and ask yourself what led you to think this way. More often than not, you’ll find yourself playing the same mind games as the ones you swore to fight against, and when it gives them the upper hand, they won’t hesitate to come for you after that.
#lgbtqiaplus#ftm#trans#transgender#mental illness#trauma#tw trauma#tw psychophobia#psychophobia#tw psychosis#lgbtqia#genderqueer#ftx#trans rights#actually psychotic#psychotic disorders#psychosis#psychosis mention#neurodivergency#trans mental health#queer#transmasc#trans issues#psychodivergency#mad pride#insanity#anti psychiatry#psychiatry#actually mentally ill#madpunk
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Gym Crush (Part 2)
Read Part 1 by @exploratorytfs.
It’s been a year and a half since the swap, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about how crazy it all was. You might be wondering—why would I trade the life I had? I mean, I had it pretty damn good.
Before all this, I was hot. Not just passable, but the kind of hot that turned heads. I had worked my ass off to look the way I did—hours at the gym, eating clean, all of it. And then there was Edgar. God, Edgar. This dude was a walking Greek statue: broad shoulders, a thick chest, veins for days. I mean, it wasn’t just the muscles; it was the way he carried himself. Confidence, swagger, like he knew he could get whatever he wanted. And yeah, I guess at the time, he was my boyfriend.
But even with all of that—being hot, dating a hunk like Edgar—I just couldn’t do it anymore.
You’re probably thinking I’m nuts. I mean, guys like Edgar don’t come around often, especially not for guys like me. Let’s be real, most dudes who look like him wouldn’t even give a trans guy like me the time of day. So, yeah, I was lucky. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. I should’ve been happy, but the truth is... I wasn’t.
Why? Well, Edgar. He wanted me to be this perfect, submissive, fem bottom. And look, I’ve got nothing against that. There are guys out there who rock that vibe, who own it, and good for them. That’s just not who I am.
I know, I know—saying this out loud would probably get me canceled in half the gay bars across the country. But I really am masc for masc. Always have been. I’m not saying it to be some sort of gatekeeper or anything; it’s just... that’s what I’ve always wanted for myself.
And it’s not just about who I’m attracted to—it’s about me, too. My whole life, I’ve been trying to prove I’m man enough. To the world. To other guys. Hell, even to myself.
Transitioning was the first step, obviously. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted to look the part, you know? That’s why I inked myself up. And the gym was my second home, but even after countless hours of sweat and dedication, I could never quite bulk up. No matter how much protein I shoved down or how hard I lifted, my frame stayed twinky.
Don’t get me wrong—there were plenty of guys who loved me for it. I mean, twinks are kind of a whole thing, right? A lot of guys would’ve killed to look like I did, but that wasn’t the point. It didn’t feel like me. I didn’t just want to be a guy; I wanted to be a man. The kind of man Edgar was.
And Edgar... he didn’t see me that way. Sure, he’d call me hot, touch me like he couldn’t get enough, but then he’d taunt me. He’d weaponize my body. Every time he called me “pussy boy” or made some comment about how he was more of a man than I was, it chipped away at me. He might’ve thought it was playful, but to me it was cruel. And I couldn’t take it anymore.
Initially, I thought if I just stuck it out, maybe things would change. Maybe he’d see me differently, respect me more. He didn’t. My self-esteem tanked. I started dreading the time we spent together, and eventually, I just... stopped putting out.
And of course, that’s when things really fell apart. Edgar doesn’t do well with rejection—big shocker, right? So yeah, I wasn’t exactly surprised when Edgar came sliding back into my DMs after. But honestly, I wasn’t planning on responding. I’d already been down that road, and I’d told myself after the last time—no more.
Still, when I saw what he was pitching, I couldn’t help but be curious. Swapping bodies with a cis guy? At first, I rolled my eyes. Like, thats even possible. But the more I thought about it, the more curious I got.
The guy Edgar had in mind? Not exactly a stunner. When Edgar sent me his photo, I remember staring at it for way longer than I should’ve, trying to pick out anything redeeming. The dude was... average. A little too soft in the face, a little too plain. But, to be fair, there was some potential there. Barely.
His eyes were nice, though—kind of soulful, in a way that made you think he might be a good guy deep down. And the kicker? He was taller than me by a good 6 inches. That alone had my interest. But let’s not kid ourselves; the real selling point was the fact that he had a cock.
That was the dream, wasn’t it? My own cock. I’d spent years dealing with the disappointment of not being able to fully live out the life I wanted. Transitioning had given me so much, but this? This was the missing piece. In this kid’s body, I could finally live out the fantasy that had been sitting in the back of my mind for years.
I could be the top I’d always wanted to be. I could take guys home, pin them down, and breed them with my own cock and fill them with my own cum. No more strap-ons, no more awkward positioning—just me, fully in charge, giving them EVERY. SINGLE. INCH.
Maybe with a little muscle here, a little polish there, I could make it something great.
So I said yes.
I’m not gonna lie—the first year in this body wasn’t easy. Adjusting to a new frame, new habits, new... everything? Yeah, it was a grind. But if there’s one thing I’ve always had, it’s work ethic. Between that and this body’s naturally high testosterone—and okay, yeah, I might’ve dipped into some steroids here and there—I’d say I built myself up pretty damn good.
Look at me now. I run my own training service. I mean, it’s not like I’m the most skilled coach out there or anything. But honestly? That doesn’t seem to matter much. Guys line up for my programs, and we all know why. They don’t just want my advice—they want to look like me. I’m walking inspiration. Living proof that the dream is achievable, or at least that’s how they see it.
And man, the way people treat me now? Everyone’s calling me “bro” or “dude” every other sentence. Not that they didn’t before—I’ve always leaned into that vibe—but there’s something about hearing it now that hits different. Maybe it’s the weight of my cock swinging in my shorts as they say it. It’s like the final piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Everything just feels... right.
And the best part? This manhood of mine? Oh, it’s gotten around.
I mean, come on. Looking like this, how could it not? Guys want me. They crave me. They crave my fleshy, thick, no kidding, natural, beer can of a cock throbbing inside of them.They’ll do whatever it takes to get a night with me, and honestly, who could blame them?
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You save shit for arguments?? Get a life lmao who does that...
Basic sources still would take a while to read through unless you want a need abstract summary of all my points compiled into one.
I really find that hard to believe since, again, you think sources can just be read in five seconds as if they're half a page and you'd know. Sure I can skim, maybe find a few for you but really? Again? Online arguments don't educate, they just throw weight around and doing that regularly is... so crazy to me??
Anyway yeah, I don't really believe you. At the very least, it makes me wonder about bias in the university, which I guess isn't unheard of with the privatisation of them these days and if it's in certain places I know there is suppression of certain content but??
Look, I'm currently studying so sure I'll admit I'm not a PHD professor in everything we're talking about but the idea of "oh just show me the saved sources you have on this" is so crazy. I'm on my damn phone and just here to say maybe grouping all Jews as Zionists is bad, but hey since you and the person commenting agree on that point, what is there to correct? You both are polar ends of the "all Jews are Zionists" idea and agree. Congrats, you're both equally antisemetic.
dear jumblr: STOP LOOKING DOWN ON AND CONDESCENDING TO CONVERTS.
this includes saying “ofc converts don’t notice antisemitism.” or “they’re a convert, they don’t know any better.”
i really don’t think a lot of you realize how many converts don’t reveal they are converts because of this kind of behavior. my own patrilineal convert parent refuses to publicly, not because they are excluded, but because of the condescension. the way converts are basically patted on the head even if they have ancestry, are patrilineal, were raised in a jewish environment, etc. or have none of these at all.
if converts are equals to you, treat them that way. most gerim learned more during their process than many of us learn in hebrew school, let alone what most secular “born” jews learn throughout their lives. so yes, converts DO spot antisemitism. they DO know things. and there isn’t an excuse for them to be bigoted, to spread lies about our people, or to side with our enemies or to otherwise harm their community. just like there isn’t an excuse for any other jew to do so.
you are not being open minded or accepting thinking and talking this way. you are actually engaging in exclusion and separation. you’re looking down on converts instead of treating them like they have equal standing.
if a convert doesnt know something or does display bad behavior? call them in instead of making excuses for them. treat them like equals, because that is what they are.
#congrats i guess#why are zionists so much like TERFs tho like this is fr giving me flashbacks of twitter before I left there#“uhh you're not actually a woman because a woman doesnt talk like that and even if you say you're a trans man i don't believe you”#“what are your chromosones??” as if I'd know or care#“umm you can't be a real queer bevause you are attracted to trans women so you're actually just straight”#how about y'all stop trying to investigate my idenity lmfao#“Are you sure you like women” your mum said I love women when we kissed last night does that help#“Umm but what ARE you though” oh sure I'll just go ask my grandfather what he remembers from nazi occipied polland when he was four#And let me just get that blood test just for you since bloodties matter oh so much#“um since you don't know you're actually claiming jewishness” thats not how that works boo#“umm since you said fellow jews” i was talking about other jews and said what made grammatical sense I'm sorry I hate english too#but that's for another time#anyway have fun with land back meaning occupation which it never meant literally ever#use a different term and stop using ours <3#what i want to place in a volcano are people who misuse land back and approproate our movement for their own ends#like zionists#who again I don't see as freaking Jews because no you don't make up 80-90%#in israel maybe#but not here#Like if you want to denounce australian orthodox Jews who have endorsed the local pro Palestine movements in the area I live in go ahead#they don't want you either lol#and I'll tell my Jewish friend who was racially profiled by police when he protested against weapons manufacturing to Israel that he's#“less of a Jew” or secretly part of some sect I'm pretty sure he hasn't heard of#speaking of it's also funny how you accused me of copying from said people then said I know nothing about them like#pick a struggle??#do I copy them or don't know them which is it??#Did i copy them accidentally by... agreeing with some points while disagreeing with others?#gasp! that surely isn't something that just happens all the time with people#people have ideas that overlap no shit#and that doesn't mean they completely agree or even know each other
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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 21/11✨
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi! Would Macaque kidnap Wukong again? I read your comic, the last page, where Macaque is the kidnapping expert. And I'm very curious about it. Anyway, I love your comics! You are awesome.
Haha I don't think they really need it unless they want to do a "traditional wedding courtnapping" but it would be pretty odd since they kind of already live togehter.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I know this is definitely a LONG ways away, but, imagine: Wukong and Macaque playing the newlyweds game. What questions? What answers? Who’s asking the questions? Who’s getting the most right?
I wont list all the lesson but I think Macaque would get most of them right just because Wukong never really changed a lot during the years, while Macaque went through different stages of his life, and and he has new hobbies and tastes.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will mk have a nightmare about LBD? If yes Then we will have some angst with fluffy monkeys family moments!!!
Oh he has. He has many. Most of them he has while he is at pigsy's.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Can you please shows up a flashback backstory on how MK/Wukong discovered/found out/came out as trans?? 🙏🙏🙏 Banana sundae with chocolate sauce, rainbow sprinkles, THREE cherries, and a super-deluxe one-and-only Monkie King™️ collectible spoon???
Anonimo ha chiesto: will we see any past Shadowpeach?? I’m interested to see how you frame their dynamic back 5en.
Hahah maybe in the future, I'll see
Anonimo ha chiesto: Can we get Wukong telling dad jokes? Please, I’m begging i want to see MK laughing and Macaque just being so disappointed with Wukong yet so smitten. I want to see more Monkey family domestic blissss. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I don't have my dad jokes book here but man give Macaque an award for the patience he has with these two children
@goofybearclown ha chiesto: Hi :3 Just wanted to say I love your shadowpeach and cotl AU!!! I didn't notice you made both at first but when I did I was like "waow :0". Tbh your works are in my top 3 series on Tumblr! @fenikzia ha chiesto: I love your LMK comic so much, I look forward to reading the new additions to it when they come out every other day,and reading your comic just makes my day better. Even if it hasn't updated a particular day, I make sure to go back and reread the newest part.Keep doing what you're doing and make sure to take breaks! @skye-minecraftyt-blog ha chiesto: You! I like you! Your Bio parents Lmk au always makes me extremely happy and I regularly reread it. ((o(^∇^)o)) Just wanted to say it @blazeandsilver ha chiesto: Hello, I just wanted to say your artwork is absolutely stunning, it makes my day whenever I see that you posted something new to the BioParents comic. Please keep up the good work and be sure to take some time for yourself, you’re important too.
AWWWWWW THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hihi shadowpeach au question: You mentioned in the latest comic that Mac is more lean and skinny than Wukong. Will we ever see the full extent of that?? ALSO I ADORE YOUR ART OMG ❤️❤️
A fully naked Macaque you say? Maybe.... who knows....
Anonimo ha chiesto: I come to defend Wukong acting like a man looking at a victorian lady ankles, he hasn’t seen his (ex) husband’s fur in centuries. And he probably hasn’t socialize in years either besides MK and the gang. Romantically he is stunned right? I doubt he has even looked at anyone besides Macaque anyways…
Honestly I like to think that Macaque was the only being in all the universe that was eer able to make him flustered
@mochalikesdrawing ha chiesto: So I got a question, will we ever get to see kaiju MK again?
I have a scene post AU I would like to draw. Maybe.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Ignoring all the angst because it is crushing my soul /pos, I'm lowkey convinced that Macaque knows Wukong feels some kind of way about him because he can hear his heartbeat go crazy at certain moments and isn't dumb, but just isn't calling Wukong on it because he's still trying to sort his own feelings first. BUT ONCE HE DOES OH BOY-
Hahah Macaque knows perfectly well Wukong is down for him. In the meantime Wukong is alwasy afraid he's just imagining things bc he's dense af.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Do you think Wukong and macaque would be cuddling and macaque would be watching something scary and Wukong would be trying to not pay attention to it because he hates scary stuff or would it be the other way around?
yess
@ep2nd ha chiesto: In your shadowpeach bio parents au, if MK and Wukong were created by Nuwa, with Nuwa using Macaque and Wukong as a base, has anyone wondered who created Macaque? And does Macaque himself knows?
Wait Nuwa created Wukong? If that's so I think then all the 5 monkeys were made by her, for some reason.
@boonalina ha chiesto: Sooo what exactly is the courtnapping process like? Is it just a simple "I'm gonna pick you up and carry you away" or is it an entire ceremony? Does someone have to lure the person into place? For example, Mei bringing Redson over to a secluded spot so that Mk can "courtnap" him? (Side note: I've been in this fandom for around two years now, and this comic is what made me find out about courtnapping lol)
I "think" anything that can be counted as like a sneak attack that takes them out of guard and brings them to the designated courtnapped room can be considered as courtnapping technically.
Anonimo ha chiesto: ... Hey so your shadow peach bio parent AU is better way better than season five. WOAH, WHO SAID THAT!! (no but seriously it is like a sitcom I tune on ever so often. Much love 🫶)
Haha thank you! That's a HUGE statement!
Anonimo ha chiesto: I wonder if MK has any unique attributes/abilities as a living mass of celestial material?
He's such a cocktail ofdifferent energies I wouldn't be surprised he is able to glow in the dark.
@cjtuy ha chiesto: I do have a question it's mainly about pigsy and tang when and how long have they been together as a couple and did both of them find mk are they married ?
They have been together for almost a year, but I don't think they are married, but maybe that could happen in the future??? But yeah MK found out a little after season 5 that they are together, that was also the same time he started calling Tang "Papa"
Anonimo ha chiesto: Has macaque added any personal items to the house? Like is he moved in? Have Wukong and macaque improved or changed anything else besides making the bed bigger?
Yes he did! Half of his belongins are in FFM, althought he's a little more minimalistic than Wukong. He also have been bothering Wukong to death so that he can finally organize his stuff (and they were roomates
Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like if they were to play Minecraft or something macaque would be the base mom. He would be the only one to remember to farm food to not starve. The others would probably forget all the time that hunger is a thing in game. Wukong or Mk: oh dang does anyone have food I'm starving Macaque: (always brings extra for this reason) "sighs" yes
AH!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Remember the Minor Scale episode, from season 2? Where MK learn how to shrink himself? And there’s also the final episode of that season where MK just grow very big to try to fight LBD. I just love that part of his power and I have seen very little people showing it. Like, sometimes that power can show up when the poor boy is experiencing overwhelming emotions that can’t be contained anymore, or pure exhaustion. For example, Having many responsibility can lead to a lot of stress and exhaustion and at some point MK just can’t do more and just become tiny, not able to do more. On the opposite, maybe he experience trauma again through a nightmare (like about azure for example) and the emotional burden is to much and he just becomes big because of that. You see my vision? I love sizeshifting base on emotions :)
Aww and i love emotion-based powers, they are just so easy to play around.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Tbh the show should let macaque have a motorcycle. Wukong gets to be passenger princess
Yesss
Anonimo ha chiesto: as we get into the colder months i like to imagine MK’s first winter coat and he’s all super fluffy and warm
Cool for the monkey parents, bad for pigsy and all the hair in the restaurant from sheeding.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be so funny if MKs rock hadn't been cracked and he'd been raised on FFM by wukong. If the same thing happens in the show macaque planning to take mks powers thinking he's just Wukongs student but then while macaque and MK are training. Since macaque is so close he notices his ears. (Being raised by a monkey he gets his form sooner) suddenly putting everything on hold busting into FFM and is like WUKONG WTF
There's a fic on AO3 about it it's A Son of Two Dads
@cheese-hommo ha chiesto: Hii, fiesta I want to say I love how you draw and everything, it just looks so cool and beautiful. Now, with the last chapter of Monkey parents Au and so, with the acknowledgement of the demon etiquette and else, DBK and Wukong really misunderstand the comfort scene for a confession? Or something more? It was just so funny seeing the two of them getting so embarrassed at the end 🙂↕️
Ah, 2 young demons in their true forms so close to each other, blushing? Scandalous.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I've seen Mk is his Lego merch- he gots a tooth gap- so does this MK have one or did he get it filled?
Wait that was a tooth gap??? I though it was like, a detail of the smile
Anonimo ha chiesto: 🎤 what is your official (if any) opinion on Ink MK? (as a character, plot device, literary parallel, what have you)
It's ok. I personally believe "shadow" version of one character with their own fears and doubts is a clique a little bit too much used. But they give a lot of angst.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Thoughts on Macaque knowing either Japanese or Korean due to him liking anime.
I'll give you one better. Macaque always traveled to Japan pretty frequently during the centuries. Then became a weeb
Anonimo ha chiesto: Maybe it's just me but Wukong looks a bit thicker each time, is it because his fur's thickening or is he getting chubbier ??????? Anyway luv ur art
Both.
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Something I've been trying to articulate to myself for a while here, but I wish there were more discussion about the particular experiences of trans men who are attracted to men. Especially the way that it relates to our experiences before coming out and during transition.
A lot of the conversations I see online and in academia focus on the experiences and overlap between trans men and butch lesbians, which is just not a narrative that resonates with me. There has been no point in my life at which I identified as a lesbian, or even as particularly attracted to women in general (something something sexuality is complicated). And it is only recently that I've really been able to let myself jive with being a butch man.
So, what did that experience look like for me?
It looked like trying desperately to perform the right kind of femininity so that straight guys would be attracted to me. Admittedly, it was a "not like other girls" sort of femininity, but I suspect a lot of trans guys and straight women will understand me when I say that this particular kind of femininity is still... very constricting. You gotta be "tough" of course, and have the right sorts of interests, and not care too much about your looks, but at the end of the day still be pretty, not too loud, and pretty willing to give ground for straight men to feel cool. You absolutely cannot be butch, because butch is for lesbians, and you want to be attractive to men.
And then I came out, and now I was a man, so I was free of all of that, right? Right?
Well, turns out there's a whole lot to unpack and unlearn there, and doing that takes a long time. For the first several years of my transition, I was still stuck in this mindset of needing to adhere to all the same constraints I had been under before. The guy I was dating at the time didn't help with this, and I almost said that's another story, but it isn't. The fact that I was willing to keep dating a guy who wanted me to stay pretty and feminine, who told me that body hair was gross, and who in a thousand other little ways made it very clear that I would only stay lovable if I stayed feminine... the fact that I was ok with that, it says a lot about where my mind was at.
I'm sure that a lot of lesbians can relate to some of this, and yet. Becoming who I am, genuinely relaxing into myself and unfolding in the way that I needed to, that process was undeniably and indelibly marked by my experiences as someone who has always been attracted to and wanted to attract men.
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Are you okay writing for tfp Knockout or Breakdown? Maybe they are either another (human) racer or heck even someone who works at the car wash who gives some of the best cars waxes, Knockout befriended. That or maybe they’re a mech experiment (mostly) human survivor that helped Breakdown escape MECH. Or literally whatever you see happening these where just some of my suggestions. The floor is yours if you’re okay writing for them? Thanks either way 😄
My Favorite Accident
Knockout x reader-race
• Huh. Of all the ways you might have imagined you’d die, death by a furious, alien pimp car wouldn’t have made the top ten. Or hundred. Fingers going white knuckled on the helmet in your hands, you feel curiously numb. Drag racing was dangerous and sooner or later, you’d push your luck past the point of no return. But this?
• When you’d managed to pass that stupidly gorgeous, red sports car for the third night in a row, you’d wanted to laugh your head off. Maybe dance a victory jig because your old, rusty Trans Am looked like an ad for tetanus and it’d still beaten all those other pretty, expensive cars. So yeah, when the candy apple red car had followed you and stayed right on your bumper after the race, you’d sucked it up and pulled over. Letting the guy follow you to your house wasn’t happening. If you were going to get screamed at, it was going to be on your terms.
• You grab your switchblade out of the center console and slide it into your back pocket in case wealthy sports car guy decided he could try and bully you out of your winnings. Hip cocked and arms folded across your chest, you wait for the guy to get out and yell- probably accuse you of cheating.
• That sound was something you’d never forget, almost a musical thing as metal shifted and rearranged. And grew to tower over you in the form of a sleek robot.
• An infuriated robot as it takes a thunderous step your way and your helmet hits the asphalt. More than anything, you want to run. The problem is your body isn’t on board. You can’t move at all as it crouches down. “Mind telling me how you beat me in that scrap heap?”
• Cold fury sparking through him, Knockout glares down at the human staring up at him. “Well?” He demands. “You cheated didn’t you?” Because there’s no way a human beat him in that… abomination. It’s not even a car, more a mobile scrap heap. And that just makes it so much worse.
• Huh. Indignation wins out over common sense. “I’m a better driver,” you say. Those strange black and red eyes narrow and you have the thought that you can duck, grab the helmet and sling it at the robot. Maybe buy yourself a whole thirty seconds before it stomps you to death.
• What you don’t expect is for it to throw up an arm in all too human exasperation. “Hardly. I’ve been driving long before you were even alive,” it says, walking past you to stalk around your car. “Do you have any idea how mortifying it is to lose to… this? What it does to my reputation?”
• You can breathe now that it’s not glaring down at you, because it’s popping the hood on your car and shaking its head in disgust. “That’s gotta hurt, huh?” You snark, wincing as it glowers at you over its shoulder with murderous intent.
• “We’re going again. Now.” Because he can’t stand it. And it’s been a long time since anyone’s given him a real challenge. A thrill of electric anticipation makes him smile when your uneasy expression smooths into a cocky sureness, because he knows you won’t just let him win- you’ll fight him tooth and nail for it. A kindred spirit.
Next
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baby fever
sevika x female reader
summary: after seeing you hold your friend’s baby while at a baby shower, sevika can’t help but feel the urge to knock you up
a/n: happy holidays here's sevika getting you pregnant
tags: babies, breeding kink, mommy kink, trans!masc!sevika, cursing, car sex, fingering, biting, kissing, kissing with tongue, CUM, spit as lube, porn with a little plot, talk of pregnancy, making love, aftercare
ao3 version
you and sevika were invited to your friend’s baby shower about a month ago from a frilly invitation in the mail. sevika was less than thrilled to go, but she could see how much you wanted to be there so she agreed with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, which was not a lot.
at the shower, she mostly stayed in the corner with a plate full of food while you were chatting away with your friends. you were closer to them since you knew them first, but they knew sevika was your wife and they liked her, hell they had all gone to your wedding, so they always invited her to accompany you to their hangouts.
one of your friends had brought her baby along to the shower and you couldn’t stop cooing over the little girl, bouncing her in your lap and holding her against your hip while you made your rounds around the room. sevika has never really thought of herself as a mom and didn’t really see kids in her future, but seeing you with that little baby girl immediately changed her mind. she stared at you from across the room and started to picture you with a belly swollen with her child, needing help to move around and pick things up since you couldn’t reach over your belly. god and your tits would get so huge with milk, her mouth was salivating just thinking about the sweet substance leaking out of your chest. she started to picture your kids, 2 little girls that had different mixes of each of your features running around the house but not causing too much trouble.
maybe having a kid or 2 wouldn’t be so bad.
on the drive home, sevika seemed pensive as she drove the two of you in silence with only the car radio playing quietly in the background. you reached over the console and laced your fingers with hers, squeezing her hand softly, “penny for your thoughts?”
sevika hummed and continued staring ahead at the road for a second before glancing over at you, “have you ever... thought about us having kids?”
you were shocked at the sudden question, sevika had expressed a few years into your relationship that she didn't really want to have kids, so you were a bit blindsided. you were always iffy about kids but didn’t really mind one way or another, so you agreed with her.
"maybe in the beginning. but baby, i thought you didn't want kids?"
she groaned in frustration and leaned her head back against the headrest, "i thought i didn't, but seeing you today with those little fuckers... it kinda has me rethinking things."
“really?” you asked in disbelief, still not sure if she was being serious or not.
“yeah, maybe we can start trying when we get home,” she said smoothly, giving your hand a squeeze before letting go and resting her hand on the inside of your thigh, giving the flesh a nice squeeze. you shifted in your seat, suddenly hyper-aware of the growing wetness between your legs as her hand slowly trailed up your thigh to where you wanted her most. it was all pretty sudden, but the thought of having her babies really turned you one.
you couldn’t wait until you got home, you wanted her now.
“i guess we do need to practice a few times to get it right,” you purred, shifting your hips up towards her and opening your legs while sliding down along the back of your seat, pulling up your skirt to bunch up around your stomach.
sevika cursed under her breath as she glanced over at your open legs, steeling herself to focus on the road as her flesh hand reached the apex of your thighs and started to vigorously rub your clit over your slightly damp panties. you mewled and pressed your head back against the seat, bucking your hips against her hand to get her to touch as much of your folds as she could. she roughly shoved her hand down the front of your panties and ran her hand over your wirey bush, humming in approval as her fingers parted your slit that was soaked in arousal fluid from the few touches that she had given you.
“shit baby, so wet for me already. you want me to make you a mommy that bad?” she teased and prodded at your clit, lightly smacking your wet folds.
“yes! fuck yes sev, make me a mommy,” you whined out as your hips jolted at her harsh slaps, clinging to the armrests at your sides. your clit pulsed with need, the abuse to your pussy causing another gush of fluids to coat your needy folds.
her fingers were easily covered in your arousal, teasing the first knuckle of her middle finger inside your entrance. one hand gripped her wrist as the other clawed at the side door, begging sevika almost incoherently to fill you up with her thick fingers. she cooed lovingly over at you and stole a glance at your disheveled form, slowly sinking her longest finger into your welcoming heat. she started thrusting her finger shallowly, the bulge in her pants growing as she imagined her cock being enveloped in your tight walls instead of just her finger. the car bumped along the road, the conditions of the street getting less manicured as she pulled off the highway and into the residential areas. sevika pulled her finger back to the last knuckle and plunged her index and ring finger inside along with it, a choked gasp leaving your lips as she parted her fingers to stretch you out as much as possible in preparation for her thick cock. sevika started roughly thrusting her fingers, licking her lips as her fingers squelched with every movement.
quickly pulling into the driveway, sevika slowly pulled her fingers out of your dribbling pussy and sucked each finger individually. you were a mess, panting in the passenger seat with an aching heat between your legs, desperate to have any part of her inside of you again.
“on the bed with your legs spread, go. now.” sevika commanded, turning off the ignition that unlocked the doors of the car. you were so out of it that it took you a second to process what she said, a dazed look on your face. sevika chuckled and cupped your face with one hand, pressing a light kiss on your lips that finally had your brain catching up with your body.
you scrambled up and pulled your cold underwear on properly before running up to the front door of the house, fumbling with your keys as you tried to unlock the barrier between you and getting your brains fucked out. successfully unlocking the damn door, you ran to your shared room, shedding your clothes as quickly as you could before flopping onto the bed on your back. bending your legs and grabbing the back of your thighs, pulling them into your chest as you waited very impatiently for sevika to come in. she always gave you a head start, liking you prepared all pretty for her while she casually strolled out of the car and picked up your discarded clothes in the hallway.
standing in the doorway of your room, she dropped your clothes to the side and admired how you squirmed in the bed, so pretty, so needy, and all for her. sevika’s clothes quickly joined your own on the floor, her cock standing tall and leaking precum from the tip that definitely soiled her boxers. she quickly crawled over you with her legs in between yours and pressed a slow, sweet kiss to your lips. you hummed against her mouth and playfully nipped at her bottom lip, eager to rile her up. sevika chuckled breathily and shoved her tongue into your mouth, sensually rubbing her wet muscle against yours. you moaned as she massaged her tongue against yours, goosebumps forming on your stomach as you felt a few drops of precum dripping onto your skin. you wrapped your legs around her waist and hooked your feet together just above her lower back. snaking your arms around her waist, pressing your hands flat against her shoulder blades, and dragging your nails down her back. sevika groaned into your mouth and leaned her head back, granting you the perfect opportunity to sink your teeth into the side of her neck. a moan tumbled from her lips and you could feel her stiff leaking cock brush against the inside of your thighs. you pulled back and softly kissed the bite mark, letting the weight of your head take you back against the pillow as you looked up into her beautiful blown-out eyes.
“ready for me to make you a mommy?” sevika cooed as she grabbed the base of her cock and tapped the tip a few times against your soaked folds.
“yes, god yes, give me your baby sev,” you practically begged and tightened your legs around her back.
sevika ran her tip between your lips and pumped your juices over her length, spitting into her hand to add to the natural lube. she lined herself up and slowly sank into your heat, groaning as your walls fluttered around her thick length. bottoming out, she let you adjust to her girth with her warm body pressed against yours. the two of you had fucked without a condom before but this time felt more intentional, more intimate with the fact that the two of you were going to make a physical representation of the love that you had for one another. she softly palmed at your breasts, imagining them bulging with warm sweet milk, her cock twitching inside of you at the thought.
once you patted her back to let her know you were ready, she started slowly pulling her hips back and thrusting into your wet cunt. her pace started to pick up gradually, her balls slapping rhythmically against your ass with each snap of her hips. she kissed the side of your neck as she found a nice rhythm for both of you, reaching a hand down and feverishly rubbing circles on your clit, her cold calloused fingers making you shiver. you dug your nails into her back as she reached deep inside of you, arching your back off of the bed and pressing your breasts directly against hers. your walls squeezed around her, already feeling a fire in your lower stomach from being edged in the car, you were embarrassingly close to already orgasming.
“‘m close sev,” you moaned out and clung onto her, tightening your legs ever closer to you.
“yeah? you ready for me to make you a mommy? go ahead and cum baby, i’m not far behind,” sevika said breathily, drilling her cock ever deeper inside of you. her thrusts got a little sloppier, but with her hand rubbing at your bundle of nerves, the pleasurable wind up in your stomach finally snapped. your legs trembled as your walls convulsed around sevika’s cock, her thrusts getting desperately fast as she chased her own high. sevika groaned and buried her face into your neck as she painted your walls with her sperm. her hip still sporadically pumped into you, a white ring forming where your two bodies met as she continued pumping into your mind-numbing heat. she finally bottomed out into you one last time, a warm sigh fanning over your neck. the room was filled with heavy breathing and the smell of sex heavy in the air, sevika slowly pulling out and pressing a kiss to your forehead.
scooping up the cum leaking out of your hole with her fingers, she gently pushed the white substance back inside your pulsing pussy. you squirmed underneath her touch and loosened your legs around her waist, pressing soft kisses all over her face.
you laid back and smirked up at her, “how’re you feeling big mama?”
sevika huffed with a small smile and grumbled at your teasing, “just great baby, let’s get you cleaned up.”
slowly standing up, she scooped you up in a bridal hold and carried you over to the bathroom to enjoy a hot bath with your wife.
a/n: please use actual lube when having sex yall
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