#pretty ponzis

[naurtnft]

Introducing Pretty Ponzis, a collection by naurtNFT! Pretty Ponzis will be available on the FAKEZ Marketplace and can be minted for 0.15 $SCAM

Get in on the ground floor and join the Ponzi Posse! Come with us as we shoot for the moon!

Ponzi Schemes are fraudulent investment opportunities that draw in new investors with promises of abnormally consistent high returns and little-to-no risk, and pay those returns to old investors with the funds from new investors.

[Read more about Ponzi Schemes on Wikipedia]

An example of a cryptocurrency Ponzi scheme (also called a "smart Ponzi") is the TerraUSD "algorithmic stablecoin"--and its partner coin TerraLUNA--that lost its peg to the dollar and collapsed in 2022. The collapse wiped out $45 Billion in a week, and had rippling effects on other currencies and exchanges.

[Read more about the Terra Blockchain on Wikipedia]

[doginprogress]

I think one of the best things the Ibizan Hound Club of the United States has ever done is the illustrated standard

It uses real pictures of real dogs and shows variations of conformation and style within the breed that can all be correct. It also has real examples of what isn’t desirable.

It also expands upon and goes more in depth into the official AKC standard and how it is generally agreed to be interpreted in the breed

Ibizans have some really unique conformational features and the illustrated standard was so instrumental to my own learning and is such a wonderful resource to share with others trying to learn. Honestly every breed should have an illustrated standard imo

Some personal favorite sections

[jpbradley]

Which Primarchs committed tax fraud?

Lorgar claimed tax exempt status as a church. Cited a law from the Age of Strife, rejected after lengthy legal proceedings. Definitely did not instigate the Heresy to avoid paying his substantial fines.

Sanguinius filled his form wrong. He managed to charm the investigating officer into allowing him to resubmit, but failed to file on the ground that he was murdered by Horus. A small percentage of Blood Angels are, to this day, afflicted with anxiety over an unfiled return.

Roboute Guilliman 100% knows how to commit tax fraud, and how to get away with it. Of course he does. He's the tax man (Ultramar regional office). Hates Magnus for reasons we'll get to.

Jaghatai Khan neither knows nor cares what taxes are. The Imperial Revenue took years to track down his address, and after several final demands an investigator visited only to find a lone postbox 300 miles from anywhere, half buried in unopened mail.

Perturabo failed to declare assets 'inherited' from Ferrus Manus and is currently awaiting a trial date.

Ferrus Manus has been given dispensation to defer his return for the tax year on the following grounds:

Being dead.

Lion El'Johnson swears he knows how to commit tax fraud but simply never would. He's lying. He has no idea but would rather walk naked into the Warp than admit it.

Vulkan keeps fastidious notes through the year which makes him very popular with his accountants. They try to convince him to expense his Drakeskin cloaks but he refuses as he wears them recreationally (despite the Salamander's 'business logo') and doesn't want to get into trouble.

Fulgrim completed his return, he really did, but it wasn't right. Currently on his cogitator is 'Tax Return 3 FINAL (FINAL!!).tax' unsent.

Leman Russ vaguely understands that tax is a thing. Thus far nobody can decide if the Space Wolves mix of raucous hospitality and space Viking intimidation towards investigators is a concerted effort to avoid paying or if they're just like that.

Magnus has all the documentation to prove that he's paid. It's all right there. It makes absolutely no sense and somehow he's owed money? Guilliman is convinced he's full of it but hasn't been able to prove it and is quietly seething.

Rogal Dorn pays in full and fully hates anyone who doesn't. He grumbles about it to anyone who will listen, usually within earshot of anyone he suspects isn't paying his way. Magnus & Conrad vocally agree with him. Guilliman leaves the room before he says something he'll regret.

Alpharius definitely submitted a return. Nothing about it looks right, all the numbers are estimates, all the assets are in some kind of code but somehow it's already been stamped as accepted.

Konrad Curze also vocally hates anyone who doesn't pay up. Secretly he hasn't paid in years. He is beyond the pretty laws of 'taxes' and with everyone focused on Lorgar, Perturabo and Magnus he's just slipped through the cracks, which he has taken as a silent endorsement.

Corvus Corax wants to pay tax. He’s tried to pay tax. He’s sent several returns to the Imperial Revenue and still they haven’t taken the money. He’s beginning to get worried. He needn’t be. They have quite simply forgotten he exists and it's gone on too long for them to admit their mistake.

Mortarion pays but hates everything about it. He thinks it's a personal slight and is convinced he is paying more than everyone else. He's right. This makes his whining no less annoying.

Angron had taxes explained to him once and ol' Rusty's sacrifice is why Imperial Revenue officers can wear jeans on Fridays. Since then the IR has practiced a bold 'hands off' approach with the World Eaters, proving that violence is sometimes an answer.

Horus absolutely pays his taxes. In Horusbux: A currency of his own devising. Lorgar attempted to trick Horus into a ponzi scheme, now all of his money is in Horusbux and he has no idea how it happened. Horus keeps on promising everyone massive returns, usually from the deck of his waryacht, the Live Forever II.

[captainpondlilly]

Okay! The Gilear plush has arrived. This is my best attempt at all of his lines. Two have been unintelligible to me, and several are pretty long and fast which made it hard to follow.

My search history is.. hospitals near me, foot stuck in object, head stuck in object

You're low, he's low, It's Gilear's day baby!*

A guy on the street kicked me in the nuts as hard he could

I don't like "lunchlad"

Help me to understand what I have done to deserve this

My horoscope says "today is a good day to die motherfucker"

I ate a quick cup of yogurt on the way over here to bolster my spirits after I changed, I'm ever so sorry

What do you mean "When" life gives you lemons

I went to apply for the guidance counselor position but I was usurped by a drug dealing werewolf named Jawbone

In my haste to put the armor on I buckled the leg plate and think I clipped the tip of my penis against one of the leg plates and Everytime I move it feels like it might fall off so I ASSURE you demon I have no pride to speak of!

In highschool I was voted "Most Likely To Get Pushed Out Of A Tree"

My car was repossessed by the ride share app that I was working for

It's actually a good thing that no one came to my birthday party because the bounce house flooded and was swept out to sea

I just discovered that *all* of my emails have been going to everyone's spam

Unfortunately I have been banned from that hot air balloon service not because of anything that happened to me in particular but the guys who run it just sort of know my whole deal

Mmm this yogurt tastes like *potatoes*

I asked the woman at Home Depot why my plants kept dying and she said it seemed like they were reaching away from the sun

I've found out recently that one of my shoes is so filled with mildew because a pipe in my bedroom is leaking and I've developed a fungal infection in my foot which I didn't know was possible for elves to get

I don't think that I've ever "Peaked" in that we started neutral and have been going downhill ever since

I am currently trapped in a storm drain. The bottom half of me is above the ground, the other is below

Another Own Goal for Gilear Faeth, yes

Everyone knows you eat 7 spiders in your sleep every year, but I have a bunch coming into me the backway

My sandcastle I'm afraid was destroyed, as I was about to finish it, the tide came in and with it a man holding a bazooka who shot me and killed me

I know you're not going to believe this but Ive just been kicked by a snake

I found out the hard way that people can legally reject status as an emergency contact

The title of my autobiography is going to be Gilear Faeth: Please Stop

On my way here I was carrying a large bowl of Italian wedding soup which shattered on the ground in front of me and several of the small pasta balls rolled through the cracks and alerted vermin to my presence. I've since learned after a trip to the hospital I am deathly allergic to the sting of millipedes which is a way of me saying I need someone to come down to the hospital and pay for this. There is a doctor holding a gun to my head and now that I think about it this clinic is in the back of a storage unit and I think have gone to the wrong place

he said and I quote "he'd stomp my goon ass" if I ever got on his bus again

Gorthalax it was very nice to meet you, you've made a cuckold of me

We're the throw up boys!*

I've been informed that the brownies I consumed were laced with cannabis and rat poison

I am completely unprepared for the perils ahead and am deeply frightened, I'll go get the coffee

A gorilla monster punched me so hard in the back of the head I died

Today I have been hit by 3 scooters

Everytime you squeeze my hand it breaks several small bones

My imaginary friend as a child ghosted me because he said I was too depressing

Do you want me to go back? I warn you, it will break me

Can I interest you in an herbal soda? You must understand I am an intern at a ponzi scheme*

When I go to sleep at night I dream of a world where I might be able to walk through a field without stepping on a rake or gopher hole

If anyone needs me... I will be surprised.

If it wasn't for bad luck, Id have no luck is both true and what was written upon the billboard I crashed through

I wonder if any of these will feature in Junior year 👀

*Thanks to @cappa-cappa for telling me the lines I wasn't able to make out!!

[posttexasstressdisorder]

The GOP’s 43-year tax-cuts-for-billionaires-while-we-ignore-the-needs-of-the-country grift has an analogy in condos and homes across America that might help voters understand how it works and how they’ve gotten away with it.

Fully 84 percent of all homes and apartments built and sold in 2022 came with a homeowner’s association (HOA), and an estimated 27 percent of all homeowners nationwide currently live in a property controlled by an HOA.

And many are very unhappy about the experience.

According to a survey by Rocket Mortgage, only 47 percent of HOA residents think their HOA has made their community better, only two-thirds (64%) believe their HOA “honestly handles its finances,” and one in ten people nationwide who have an HOA cite the HOA itself as their main reason for moving.

How and why is this?

Louise and I have lived in five communities with HOAs in two different states. Three (including where we now live) were well managed, kept up the community, and set aside money from the dues every month for the inevitable future maintenance. I was on the board of one of them. The other two ran, essentially, a shell game or reverse Ponzi scheme, which led us to eventually quit those communities and move.

READ: Deep-red 'Republican stronghold' thought to be 'easy win for Trump' is now a swing state

I remember attending a board meeting in one of those “shell game” HOA communities we’d lived in. There were multiple common-area maintenance issues needing attention, but a group who called themselves “low-tax conservatives” had run the board for over a twenty years.

There was almost nothing in reserves, so maintenance had been continuously postponed until things hit a crisis level. Then they’d hit us all with a series of “special one-time assessments” ranging from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars to pay for the upkeep. They refused to raise the monthly HOA fee, referring to it as a tax, because, they said, they were “low-tax conservatives”; in fact, they were just cheapskates.

That HOA board had been, in the past and the present, stealing from future homeowners.

They did it so they could enjoy the community during the first 30 or so years — when maintenance costs were minimal — without setting aside money for the future, when things would rot or wear out and need replacement or upgrade.

For the first three decades, they were able to coast with $200/month in dues and no assessments; by the time we arrived when the units were pushing 35 years old, though, the assessments were hitting $3000 to $9000 a year, and, when the buildings’ roofs need repair (soon) it’ll be twice that amount or more.

Fortunately, once we saw the handwriting on that particular wall we were able to sell our condo and move to a well-run community. Americans, though, don’t have that option: Republicans have been running this same shell game or reverse Ponzi scheme against all of us (except the very rich) across the entire country ever since Reagan successfully pitched trickle-down economics to the nation in 1981.

If you’ve ever lived in one of these shell game HOA’s, you now perfectly understand Reaganomics and why it seems that America has deteriorated so badly over the past 40 years.

You could call it the disaster of pothole economics: all across America, roads, bridges, water systems, schools, and other vital public infrastructure have been underfunded and neglected ever since Reagan popularized the idea of “austerity” among Republicans.

In order to pay for the second most massive tax cut for the morbidly rich in history (Reagan cut the top tax bracket from 74% down to 25%), his administration cut spending on education, housing, roads and bridges, and pretty much every other aspect of America’s infrastructure. George W. Bush did the same thing, and Donald Trump tripled down on the scheme.

The result was a $51 trillion transfer of wealth — over a mere forty-three years — from the homes, retirement accounts, and savings of average working families into the money bins of the extremely wealthy. Thirty-four trillion of that transfer show up as our national debt, which was a mere $800 billion ($0.8 trillion) when Reagan first came into office and started this scam.

President Joe Biden and his Vice President, Kamala Harris, ran the first administration of either party to significantly repudiate Reagan’s neoliberalism by injecting trillions into rebuilding our nation (over 35,000 projects) while raising taxes on rich people and corporations to pay for it.

The result was immediately visible, just like in the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s: we now have the best economy on planet Earth with unemployment lower than any time since the 1960s (and lower than any time in history for women, Blacks, and Hispanics). Inflation has been at or below 0% for the past two months and is annually running around 3% (Reagan never got inflation below 4.1% in his entire 8 years); all across America we’re putting our rural areas, towns, and cities back together.

For the past forty years, Republicans and their administrations have focused almost entirely on taking cash away from working class people and handing it off to the billionaires who own and finance their party. At the top of the list of ways they did this was a series of five tax cuts for the morbidly rich and big corporations adding up to over $30 trillion since 1981.

But they’ve also been cutting spending to compensate for their tax breaks for the billionaire class: They blocked extending the child tax credit this year, throwing millions of American children back into poverty. They’ve fought lifting the cap on Social Security taxes so people making over $168,600 will begin paying on all of their income (millionaires and billionaires currently pay only a tiny fraction of the percentage to support Social Security that the rest of us do).

Fully 100% of congressional Republicans voted against Biden’s Build Back Better program that’s now putting America back together and his American Rescue Plan that lifted millions out of poverty and put millions more back to work. They successfully blocked the Paycheck Fairness Act that would have penalized employers for wage discrimination based on gender; they’ve refused to expand Medicaid in almost a dozen Red states; they even filibustered an attempt to raise the minimum wage from $7.25 to $10.10.

For the past forty-plus years, Republicans — just like these dysfunctional HOAs — have been stealing from America’s future; our infrastructure deficit alone is several trillion dollars, meaning Americans will be paying more in taxes to make up for all those decades of neglect.

Democrats want those tax increases to hit people earning over $400,000 a year; Republican tax proposals, on the other hand, mostly focus on increasing income taxes and fees on working class people while continuing or even expanding tax breaks for the very wealthy.

One of the “low tax” HOAs we used to live in, instead of raising their monthly fee or instituting an assessment, recently negotiated a million-dollar-plus 20-year loan with people’s properties as the collateral to fund painting and repairing serious rot on the buildings.

This should have been paid for with an increase in HOA fees twenty years ago, anticipating the future maintenance and upkeep needs.

But instead they kept the fee low, never built up a reserve, and are now borrowing from the bank. In other words, they’re continuing the all-too-common HOA board scam of requiring future generations to pay for current repairs, just like the GOP budget proposals we’ll see when they return from summer vacation in September will require future generations to pay for their past tax cuts.

It’s the equivalent of Reagan, Bush, and Trump jacking up the national debt to keep things glued together, forcing future generations to pay it off when the bill comes due, while their wealthy corporate funders rob us blind.

Homeowners across America are waking up to these toxic HOA boards, as social media sites for HOA members are forming and local homeowner uprisings are happening against boards, either replacing the board members or, in some cases, even suing them. Some states are even starting to require they build up reserves for future maintenance.

Hopefully, Americans will realize how successfully Republicans have inflicted this very same scam on voters and working class people over the past forty-plus years and vote the bums out this fall.

ALSO READ: Mike Johnson's now-deleted Trump social media post sparks controversy

[nellielsss]

ƈɧąʂıŋɠąŋɠɛƖʂ.ƈơɱ ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

Summary: where lonely hearts can congregate & explore new, exciting taboos! what do you get when you pair a lonely divorcée with an equally lonely girl? find out here, at chasingangels.com! Note: I saw a janitor AI bot that was like a dating app and was inspired to write this, I also just wanted to write about the issues of finding a good match as a trans girl! y'know, since a lot of us tend to fuck w DL men 💀 reader is also kinda Gyaru-coded in terms of appearance but she's not fully immersed in Gyaru culture. Warnings: website is implied to be for chasers (men who go after trans women specifically), protected sex, rough sex, kinda angst + comfort Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x mtf!reader WC: 14.5k words... yeah I'm not proofreading this ☠️ if it has bad grammar or cringy dialogue anywhere my apologies!!! this fic took me like 5 days so I'm glad to be done w it

╰┈➤ "And... still nobody worth it," you sighed, clicking off from the website that you'd spent weeks surfing through. You put your laptop back in your Hello Kitty computer sleeve, put it in your purse, and went on your way.

The website you'd decided to put your love life line on the line for, chasingangels.com, was proving to be a hopeless endeavor. Every single day, the thought about abandoning that stupid, niche website and going back to your past days of Grindr seemed more enticing the longer you spent your time alone. The website that promised trans girls like you with a promising love life was turning out to be a gimmick, probably made to steal your data so that it could be sold to some third party buyer. It's not like it mattered to you--you didn't have nuclear codes saved on your device--but it was just so tiring.

All of it was so tiring.

All your life, you'd been quite lonely, a fact that your headstrong nature refused to admit. You grew up with everything a girl like you could've possibly hoped for: you had a loving family who accepted you for your transgender identity, plenty of friends who also accepted you, and all the money needed to buy you your expensive makeup & hormones that you'd need to become the woman you always wanted to be. Truth be told, you were quite blessed in every facet of life--you were beautiful enough before starting the hormones to pass for a cisgender woman!

But, sadly, the only facet you lacked in was love.

A curse was bestowed upon you at birth: the curse of a male body, and that same curse was the reason you never had any prospects.

The moment you told a guy about your condition, he'd run away without a second thought. Either they blocked you or did a 180 and asked you if they could play with your... male genitalia.

The few who chose to stay only ever did so by texting you after 11 PM, and the most they did was ask you for sexual favors instead. Not once did a guy hold you while wept; not once did a guy want to bring you home to mama; not once did a guy talk to you for more than a month. And what was most humiliating was you'd only ever talked to three guys--a low, single-digit number!

By the time you graduated college and entered the workforce, nothing changed, absolutely nothing. If anything, your prospects shrank, and you weren't even talking to a single guy over the phone. You were hopeless, utterly hopeless in the romantic department.

"Don't worry about it, you're too good for any man's attention!"

Said the girl with a loving boyfriend of a year.

"You already have a high paying job and a pretty face to boot, what more could you possibly want?"

Maybe the touch of a loving partner?

You were hopeless. Hopeless enough to put your trust in some shady website that one of your friends told you about, which led you to the website known as chasingangels.com. You were beginning to believe that this was all some elaborate emotional ponzi scheme, set up by people who took pleasure in breaking trans girls' hearts.

"Is it my profile?" you thought to yourself on the train. You were currently on the train to Omotesando, meeting up with said girlfriend who recommended you the site. You went under the guise of trying out a new restaurant, but in actuality you were gonna chew her out for getting your hopes up, get a beverage on the way home, and then watch some Shōjo before going to bed.

And all in a day's time... truth be told, these were what your days consisted of outside of work: drinks, meetups, and romance anime. Though most people would've looked down upon you for living such a monotonous life, you found solace in it.

There wasn't much a girl like you could do except spend her hard-earned money on snacks & clothes. Perhaps you'd get lucky and stop by a Hello Kitty store along the way? Maybe you could even adopt another cat just to be less lonely.

The loud ding! of a notification in your airpods made you jerk up in surprise, and you immediately grabbed your phone. Most apps weren't important enough to have a sound notification on, so you wondered what it could possibly be.

Wait, why were you so surprised? It was probably just an SMS message from your friend. You calmed yourself down, unlocked your phone, and swiped through your notifications until you saw it.

That godforsaken website--you made a mental note to delete it later.

👼 chasingangels.com

ミ☆ You have 1 New Message!

Tojifushiguro1: Hey there, saw your profile and thought you looked cute. Wanna get a drink & get to know each other better?

A guy who used punctuation and capitalization? He must've been old, definitely not your-

You let out an audible gasp on the train when you clicked on his profile, and you also had to turn down the brightness on your phone as well, because the profile that you just tapped on?

The profile was enough for you to make your cross your legs together.

This guy--Toji Fushiguro--was a fucking wet dream.

With shaky hands and a pounding heart, you sifted through the seven photos that he'd put up on his profile. They were all a bit shitty with bad lighting or they were taken by other people, but goddamn was that a man!

For starters, his face must've been crafted by Narcissus himself. A strong bone structure, green eyes that pierced into an onlooker's soul, and that delicious scar on his lip that only added to his appeal. He had some wrinkles underneath his eyes, no doubt indicating that he was a bit older than you.

The next photo almost made you choke on your own spit in the train. It was a full body shot of him standing up with a guy (whose face he made sure to blur out), and by god was he the definition of an adonis even with clothes on. Just by standing still w/ a straight face without doing anything extra, you could make out some broad shoulders, arms that were probably bigger than your head, traps that tapered into a thin, toned waist, and a thick, muscular chest that you just wanted to lay your head on!

When you got to the shirtless photos you had to put your phone away for a good second before looking at the rest of his profile. His body was a marble statue straight out of the Roman Empire, complete with shredded abs, intense vasculature, and everything else that a girl could want in a man's body.

You knew that where you lived, the ideal male standard was more feminine than masculine, therefore you knew that finding a man like him was like finding a tiny shard of a diamond deep inside of a coal mine. Coincidentally, he was also exactly your type, so every atom in your body screamed at you to get on it and reply!

But you were rational; you didn't think with your pussy. You looked at all the photos in detail to get a better idea of what he was like, and you also examined his bio for any red flags. So far, the only ones that stuck out to you were his single father status & the fact that he was on a dating site designed for connecting men with trans women--the name literally had the verb "chase" in it!

°•. ★ .•° Tojifushiguro1's FAQ:

Age: 35

Sexuality: straight

Marital status: divorced w/ 1 kid

Likes: UFC fights, fishing, 90s rock, a good beer

Looking for: a girl who knows how to have fun & also get serious, someone mature.

Yeah, he totally fit the image he portrayed. He might've only been 35 but he typed like a boomer with the lack of description in his bio & the message that was chalked full of grammar and proper spelling. The images he'd included in his profile were also so very different from the design and aesthetic of this website, it almost made you laugh.

This man could also be catfishing you, so you made sure to do a quick reverse search...

... and nothing. Wow, so this guy really existed, and he also really wanted you.

Wait a damn minute. He, an adonis, with probably more prospects than a computer science student's job offers, wanted you: a girl who couldn't get dick to save her life?!

What kind of an idiot were you--get on with it already!!

With shaky fingers, you opened his message and looked at it over & over again. If you didn't reply, then you'd be safe, but you'd also potentially miss out on something exciting; however, if you did reply, then the trajectory of your life could possibly change forever.

With even shakier fingers, you typed out a response to his dm:

automaticprincess7: Hi! I'm so glad you clicked on my profile out of all the others--I would love to meet up with you somewhere! Although, I gotta warn you: I don't drink much... maybe a coffee shop would be nicer?

tojifushiguro1 is typing...

Oh god, he was already typing that out?! He did send the initial message two minutes ago...

tojifushiguro1: I'll go anywhere if it means I get to see that pretty face in person ;)

Just in the second message alone, he was laying on the charm, you could see that much. He didn't seem like the type of guy to hold out on what he wanted or beat around the bush--just your type. You hated guys your age for playing games and stringing you along for no reason, so you welcomed the change of pace.

automaticprincess7: Fushiguro!! Ur already making me blush while I'm on the train... >///<

tojifushiguro1: I can't wait to make you blush even harder in person, doll. Why don't we meet up tomorrow? I ain't got work, so I'm free all day long.

Tomorrow--he wanted to meet with you tomorrow?! But... but that was so quick, you haven't had enough time to even mentally prepare yourself for this hunk of a man!! Then again, what difference does it make if all you're looking for is a guy who'll give you some attention & pipe? Still, you had to play coy--you can't be so forward just yet.

automaticprincess7: but that's so early...

tojifushiguro1: why, you got work tomorrow?

automaticprincess7: no, I'm also free; honestly, truth be told, I've never met up with anyone online like this, especially not from this website.

tojifushiguro1: really? I'd imagined a girl as gorgeous as you would've had plenty of men lining up to take her out for dinner--I was just hoping to be next in line haha.

automaticprincess7: well, not exactly...!

tojifushiguro1: so this means I'll be the one to pop your internet cherry, huh? Well then, ain't I a lucky guy?"

automaticprincess7: ewww, don't call it that!!

tojifushiguro1: I'm just messin' with ya, doll. Anyway, does tomorrow work? I'll need to find a babysitter for the kid soon, so I need a yes or no.

Right, he was a single father... still, he was just so enigmatic, so attractive, you'd be a fool to let it go to waste over him having a child.

automaticprincess7: yeah, tomorrow's fine. I guess I was just nervous ( ๑´⌓ `๑ )

tojifushiguro1: it's no biggie, cutie. Since it's your first time meeting with a stranger online, I can imagine you'd be scared. So, let's say 6? And what place works best for you? We can even grab dinner after if you're up for it.

automaticprincess7: there's this one coffee place I like in Harajuku. It's secluded enough for this kinda stuff, and it's close enough to any activities that might be fun: (insert coffee shop name).

tojifushiguro1: overpriced coffee with an angel like you? Heh, sign me up!

automaticprincess7: hey, don't insult them, they have my fav drinks!!

tojifushiguro1: messing with you over text is so fun. Anyway, 6 PM tomorrow at that place? Sounds like a plan. I can't wait to see you in person, gorgeous ;) You & I are gonna have so much fun, doll, just you wait.

automaticprincess7: see you tomorrow, Toji!! (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*)

tojifushiguro1: those lil' emojis you send are so adorable, just like the rest of ya.

You had to put your phone down because of how red your face was. If anyone saw you in this state, they'd probably think that you were deathly feverish and needed to go to the hospital, but if you spent the night with him, you probably would need to.

Your mind was reeling with everything that had just happened. The prospect of meeting a guy for the first time; the prospect of going on a date with an insanely hot guy; the prospect of going home & having sex with said insanely hot guy; and the prospect of it leading to something better. You knew your prayers of this working out would fall on deaf ears and that this guy was probably in it for just the sex, but there was this feeling, this voice in your head telling you to go for it.

Normally, you'd ignore that said voice, but maybe following that voice would bring some color back into your life.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Enter Toji Fushiguro

╰┈➤ "Fuckin' christ is that girl adorable," Toji muttered to himself when he put his phone down. "I could just eat her for breakfast, lunch & dinner."

After hopeless hours of surfing through this website "Chasingangels.com" with all of its annoyingly bright colors and cutesy aesthetics, Toji had finally settled on a girl who he felt was worth the trouble of reaching out to. All these other profiles he'd swiped on were either not his type or were looking for a good time, not a long time, so when he finally found you, he felt like he'd just won big at the horse races he quit going to. Seriously, you were such a stroke of luck that he considered going out to gamble.

But, after his late wife had died, and after he'd made that promise to quit all his vices, he wasn't actually gonna go gamble his savings away.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: your profile.

Even after he put his phone down to clear his mind, he reached for it & continued looking at your profile, his green eyes scrutinizing every single detail and just taking it all in. You were gorgeous, that much was true, but there was also something so yummy, so saccharinely sweet about the way you looked at the camera with your raspberry lip gloss and your big brown eyes and your long lashes and your everything that compelled him to DM you.

You... you were just a walking wet dream, you were perfect in every single way. Not only were you insanely attractive, but you also had the right criteria in your bio: your frontal lobe had developed (you were 25) & you were looking for something serious.

Bingo.

But, at the same time, Toji knew good and well that a girl like you was hard to come by, so he sent that DM without any hope of getting one in return. Surely a gorgeous gal like you had plenty of offers, right? He also knew that using a website like this was quite unsavory, even for him. This website, chasingangels.com, was supposed to be a "dating website" for transgender women, but he knew good and well that this site housed some... off individuals.

It was all in the name of the website. Chasing angels? Seriously? The developers couldn't have come up with a better website name that wasn't so fetishizing? Part of him wondered what the hell a girl like you was doing on this site--a site that was meant to give men direct access to trans women. Part of him also wondered why he, himself, was on this website to begin with. Was he seriously turning into one of them, one of those "chasers" that were known to use trans women? And would you categorize him as such?

Those little thoughts of self-doubt were quickly wiped away when you replied within two minutes of him sending that message.

Was fortune finally smiling upon him? Were the lonely nights he spent in the company of prostitutes and random flings coming to a close with you?

Were you the angel he's been chasing all this time? And did he finally catch you?

The conversation with you went smoother than expected, if he was being honest. You talked just how you looked: like an angel, with your bashful replies & those cute little emoticons that you used. He made sure to lay on the charm thick, since it was all he knew how to do when he was flirting with a girl he liked, and it paid off because now he had a date with the girl of his dreams tomorrow.

All he had to do now was find a babysitter for little 8 year old Megumi, and he'd be golden.

He promptly exited out of the website and called up his go-to babysitter, Satoru Gojo, to see if he was available for the evening & night. He swore he heard trumpets from heaven when the white-haired man said he'd be available.

He practically got on his knees and looked up at the ceiling. "Whoever you are... thank you."

Next on the agenda would be to prepare for said date tomorrow.

There was no way that this was the same man you talked to online (and no, he didn't catfish you). How could a man be so.... large?!

Flashback to a few hours ago when you were first getting ready for your little date. "I'm going on a date, on a date, on a date~! Oooh, I may be getting some dick tonight~!!" You sang to yourself as you got ready for your date. You were busy putting in your hot rollers, trying to snap them into place so that they wouldn't fall out and potentially burn you.

You didn't sleep a wink during the entire night. The images of that guy, that hunky dilf who you somehow managed to snag before anyone else did. You were honestly pretty surprised that you accomplished such a feat--any girl would be lucky to be underneath that fine specimen! Then again, maybe the people who used the website didn't like big, strong men with a face so rideable that you could probably cum 5 times just by grinding against his nose... either way, you were a lucky, lucky girl!

Once the rollers were in place, you pulled out all the stops to make sure that your makeup was in tip-top shape. A matte, blurring primer (which could be classified as industrial grade); pink cherry blossom setting powder just so that you could look extra pink and girly; a touch of eyelid glitter just to make your eyes sparkle... you even followed an elaborate tutorial on Youtube just so that you could charm him with your eyes.

Everything was coming together perfectly. There were no stray streaks of eyeliner, nor was your makeup crusty or cakey; it was simply perfect.

Taking out your hot rollers, you grabbed a hairbrush and styled it to your liking with a headband, then you spritzed on some perfume and went to pick out the perfect outfit to charm him. Clearly, he had a thing for girly girls, so a pink outfit would do just the trick. Your outfit for the date consisted of a pink puff-sleeve top along with a pleated denim mini-skirt, your signature Tiffany & Co. initial necklace, a charm bracelet, a cute little rhinestone belt and some strappy sandals to complete the look.

You took a good, long look in the mirror and smiled to yourself. It sure was a shame that you being transgender got in the way of a lot of your relationships, and the fact that this was probably just to meet up for sex... but it was still nice to get dolled up.

"What do you think, Cupcake?" you asked your fluffy black cat who had a pink collar around her neck. You scratched your little cat's chin and gave her a few butt pats before standing up again.

You made your way over to the front door of your apartment, put all your belongings in your pink Chanel, and made sure to remember your keys. "Wish me luck," you said to your cat as you left. You locked the door behind you, and set out for the nearest train station.

Which was how you ended up standing outside of the coffee shop that the two of you agreed to meet at. It was an odd time to go to a coffee shop, since most people went in the morning, but not everybody met up with strangers on the internet for sexual favors. You texted Toji that you were here and pushed open the glass doors of the shop.

"He shouldn't be too hard to miss-" you stopped dead in your tracks when you caught sight of the man. To say that he was hot was an understatement, because this man was just delectable.

Oh... my... god." He wasn't, in fact, too hard to miss, since he was A. one of the only patrons there, and B. huge. As in, he took up the entirety of his chair & had to spread his legs around the table so that he wouldn't be uncomfortable. And the best part?

He looked even better in person!!

The simple white sweater that he donned was stretched around his frame, and you could see the outline of his broad shoulders & his traps. The sleeves were rolled up around his forearms, giving you a delicious sight of his thick, veiny forearms, and his big hands that were clutching the menu like it was a little sheet of paper only made you wanna rub your thighs together. His legs were a whole other story: his muscular thighs were stretching his black pants (but not to the extent to where he looked goofy), and all you wanted to do was just sit on his lap!!

Your little rambling was interrupted when he looked up from the menu and right at you. He had a little look of shock on his face for a split second before he cracked a smile, and you felt like butter melting on a hot day from the way he looked at you.

"U-Um, hi," was the first thing you squeaked out to him. Normally, you were a confident girl; but right now, you were reduced to mere prey under the gaze of this man.

"Hey, sweetheart. Please, have a seat." He made the effort to get up and pull your seat out for you, and you offered him a bashful smile.

"Thank you," you all but whispered, letting him push you in. He then took his seat from across the table, and the two of you sat in silence for a few seconds. You could hear the intense, almost unbearable beat of your heart pounding in your ears, and you looked down at the table out of nervousness. Every time you looked up at Toji, your eyes immediately darted back to their original position, and your cheeks got even redder.

"My god, are you pretty," his deliciously raspy voice remarked when he decided to break the silence. "I mean, I bet you get that a lot, but... damn."

You squeaked in response and retreated into yourself further. "I don't get that a lot, but... T-Thank you, F-Fushiguro," you stammered. You were fumbling this date by the second, but it was practically impossible to even talk to this Adonis that was right in front of you.

A few more moments of silence until he decided to speak up again. "Doll, I gotta ask you something: am I really that scary?"

The question made you look at him out of confusion rather than fluster. "Huh? Um... no? Why do you ask?"

He relaxed a little further into his seat and folded his arms over his chest. "Because the entire time we've been on this little date, you've been starin' at the damn table. C'mon, you've gotta give me somethin' to work with here. I wanna get to know you a little bit, pretty!" He said.

You almost felt bad for the guy right about now. Here he was, going on this date that he went out of his way to ask you out on, and you were staring at the table like an idiot.

"I'm sorry," you laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck, "I'm not really experienced at going on dates... this is the first one I've been on in a while." For whatever reason, this guy made you feel more & more comfortable the longer you were around him.

"Well that makes two of us," he chortled. "I haven't been on one in months, myself. That little website was probably my last resort. If I gave up on it, I would've given up on going on dates altogether."

"Oh, right, you're divorced..." you trailed off, feeling bad for the guy.

He shrugged. "'s nothin'. Haven't seen my ex-wife in ages, anyway; my son and I get along just fine."

"Well, that's good to hear," you smiled at him. "Yeah, I see a lot of single fathers and divorcées passing through that site. Most of them are just ex-pats."

"Really, now?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow. "I would've thought that being a single father makes me more unappealing."

You shrugged. "It doesn't make a difference to me, or the rest of the girls on that site at that. Most people just use that website for hookups, anyway."

His other eyebrow raised, and he looked at you with more curiosity. "Really, now? Huh... I never would've guessed. This whole time, I thought that everyone on there was just an asshole; I didn't think that the site was made for hookups."

"It's not advertised for hookups, but people treat it as such. Most dating sites like that just end up getting used for hookups."

"Hm," he said, looking off to the side. "So what the hell were you doing on that site to begin with?"

This made you look at him with more confusion. "Huh?"

He leaned forward, now putting his forearms on the table. "I mean: what the hell was a pretty girl like you doing on a hookup website?"

"I-I don't use it for hookups!" you said defensively, putting your hands up. "I just... look, it was the only available site for women like me, and I was sick of people on regular dating apps blocking me after I told them that I was trans. I sure as shit didn't wanna use Grindr, so that website was also my last resort. Speaking of, what were you doing on that website if you were looking for more than just hookups?"

Toji shrugged again. "I dunno, honestly. I just went on it without a second thought. I tried other websites out, but none of 'em gave me any results."

You furrowed your brow in confusion. "So you went on a website that was specifically for men who liked trans women...?"

He was a bit caught off guard by your observation, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "The way you're saying it makes me sound like some sorta creep... But, you're not entirely wrong. When I first saw an advertisement for that website, I was intrigued, to say the least. I thought that, since I had so much bad luck on the normal sites, why not try somethin' different? I've always been kinda curious about trans women, too. Part of me wondered what it'd be like to date one, and so I was led to that website."

Your expression slightly fell, and you realized what this guy's deal was. "Oh, so you're... you're one of those guys," you said quite bitterly.

Toji picked up on this and freaked out a little bit. "N-No, I'm not like that! I'm not some fetishizing prick who wants a hookup; I'm just a lonely guy who's looking for something, alright? I've been lonely for so long that I'm willing to try anything with any type of girl. It doesn't matter if she's cis or trans; I just want something--anything, any kind of connection." He took a deep breath, feeling like he was digging himself into a hole the more he spoke. "Fuck... I'm making this worse for myself, aren't I?"

You were now feeling sorry for the guy for a whole different reason. "No, Fushiguro, I get it... dating as a single father must be tough for you. And, I can see the appeal of trying out dating with a different type of woman, expanding your horizons. Even though you might be using a site that hosts a lot of creeps, you're using it with good intentions." Your frown relaxed into a smile, and he felt his heart skip a beat when you smiled at him. "So I guess I won't be getting my hopes down."

Toji gave you another look of shock, and he felt his cheeks heat up just a little--that smile of yours was just so beautiful. His look of shock changed into a smile, and he intertwined one of his fingers with yours. "Well, ain't I a lucky bastard," he chuckled, already easing back into the date. "So, gorgeous, why don't we start over?"

You nodded and smiled brighter at him. "I think we should."

"Good," he hummed, reaching out to shake your hand. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Toji Fushiguro. Mind telling me about yourself, beautiful?"

You giggled at all the pet names and the compliments he was throwing your way. "My name's (Y/N), (L/N), and I don't mind at all."

Maybe... maybe this wouldn't just be a sex thing.

"I've gotta say, doll: meeting up with you has got to be one of the best decisions I've ever made," Toji said as the two of you walked out of the coffee shop together. Naturally, a guy as big as him dwarfed you, and so he had to crane his head just a lil' to look down at you. It's not like you were one of those "I'm so small and fragile!" girls--but next to him, you might as well have been.

'He's so handsome... I'm surprised I could even have a full on conversation with him. Props to myself for not screwing it up!'

He reached out to sling his big arm around your shoulders, and he pulled you into his embrace slightly. "You don't mind if I do this, right?" he purred suavely into your ear. "Sorry if I'm being a lil' too touchy, doll--I'm just not sure what girls like you are into. A lot of people don't like to be touched by people they don't know all that well."

If you were being honest, you were probably one of those people who didn't like physical contact; but with him, you were too into it to say no. "Well, I don't usually touch people like this, but I feel comfortable around you, so do as you please."

"Do as I please?" he repeated, leaning down to tickle your ear with his breath. "I'll make sure to keep that in mind for later."

Your first instinct was to worm your way out of his grasp and away from his seductive tongue, but his grip was so strong that you couldn't even budge. "T-Toji..." this was the first time you used his given name.

He felt his heart skip a beat when you used his name, but he masked it well. "What, doll? Ah, you're so cute when you're nervous... You can't exactly blame a guy for trying, right?" He let his grip loosen just a tad in case you were uncomfortable. "Anyway, where do you think we should head off to next?"

"Hm?" you asked, looking up at him. "You wanna go somewhere now? I thought that we were just going for coffee?"

"You've gotta be kiddin' me, doll... what, you thought that it was just a coffee thing? I ain't letting go of you that quickly," he snorted. "Besides, I've got someone watchin' over my kid for the rest of today & tonight, so my schedule's completely free."

"O-Oh, well I guess that's nice to hear!" you replied, trying to muster up the most confident smile you could. "Well, we are in Harajuku, so there's plenty to do around here."

Toji thought about it for a second. "Hm... to be honest, I'm thinking that we should just head back to my place--if you're up for it, at least. We could also head back to yours, or go to a love hotel. Preferably one that isn't shitty or full of diseases."

You immediately tensed up again when he brought up the idea of taking your date to somewhere more intimate or private. "Y-You don't wanna, like, go to the park or anything?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I don't; too many little shits and dogs running around to stay focused on my pretty date."

And there it was: that skip of the heartbeat when he buttered you up with his nicknames.

"We could also pick up some food on the way there. Y'know, make it more romantic? A full-on date, full of snacks and drinks before we get to the good part?"

You mulled over the different ideas that he proposed. You might've been completely into the guy; however, you weren't stupid. If you went back to his place, then you could be kidnapped or killed. There was also the possibility of his apartment being shitty (you've had your fair share of guys with garbage lining their rooms & mattresses on the floor). If you went back to your place, then there was also the possibility of him being a creep, and if he were a creep, then you wouldn't want him to know where you lived. A love hotel was probably the safest bet for a hookup, but there was also the possibility of the love hotel being shitty.

Did you even want to hookup with the guy? Well, he was very hot, and the chemistry between the two of you was off the charts, but this was a guy who wanted to get to know you better, and that rarely happened! Most guys were only ever into hookups, and hookup culture was draining. On one hand, you were a hopeless romantic; on the other hand, you were horny and in desperate need of some good pipe. What to do, what to do...

"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?" Toji asked you, breaking you out of the prison that was your thoughts. "It's all up to you, doll. I mean, it's not like we're never gonna see each other again, right?"

"I guess you have a point," you remarked with a bashful smile.

"But why not have a little bit of fun while we're at it?" For whatever reason, his lips were right up against your ear again.

"Gah!" you yelped. He couldn't help but chuckle in response.

"C'mon, baby, don't you wanna have some fun tonight? I'm told I'm very good in bed--I know plenty of tricks that'll make your head spin. But what we do tonight is all up to you," he reminded you, letting go of you for a sec. "If you're not comfortable with it, then I'm not gonna force you. I ain't that type of guy."

His reassurance that it was all up to you was enough to make you make up your mind. It didn't seem like his words were laced with malice or manipulation; you genuinely felt like he was telling you the truth. He was an older guy, yes, and older guys could be creepy...

... but he wasn't that type of older guy. He wasn't one to play games or sleep around, nor was he the type to coerce naive young girls into his bed. If he did, he wouldn't have gone after someone whose frontal lobe was fully developed. He liked his girls girly, yes, but he also liked them with a brain and common sense.

And so, with a determined smile, you said: "No, Toji, I want to... I wanna spend the night with you. Preferably in a love hotel."

His face turned in your direction, and the smirk on his face turned into a toothy grin... which was more creepy than handsome, if you were being honest.

"That's more like it, sweetheart," he said, pulling you into the crook of his arm. "I'll make it 100% worth your while, don't even worry about it. Just leave it to Toji."

Was this a mistake? Or was this a good idea? Only time could tell. The sound of your pink Chanel heels clicking on the pavement & each step the two of you took towards the love hotel he already had picked out was a sign of what was to come.

"Thank you very much, sir! Please enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let us know if you need anything!" the welcoming receptionist of the love hotel said while handing Toji the keycard.

"Will do," Toji nodded, taking the card happily. He may not have been showing it, but he was more than eager to get on with this night. His fingers were fidgeting slightly, and the only thing that could quell his nerves would be a taste of you. He couldn't resist the urge to throw his arm around your waist and pull you in. 'She's so soft and squishy, I can't help but wonder how she'll feel underneath me. But, why's she so nervous? Aren't I a charming fellow?' Toji thought as he led the two of you to the elevator. "What's got you so nervous, sweetheart? I can feel all that tension that's built up inside of ya." You squeaked a little when he tightened his arm around your waist. "God, you're adorable... you're like a little marshmallow I can't wait to sink my teeth into."

"W-Well it's kinda hard to be calm when you're saying all that stuff," you said, the nervousness in your voice evident.

He listened to what you were saying and let out a sigh. "I get it, I get it. I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous, too. Well, more antsy than anything. You're just so fuckin' pretty that I just can't sit still! God, could this elevator be any slower?" he asked, tapping his foot on the linoleum floor.

"Just hold your horses, T-Toji," you said, trying to quell the nerves of the guy you were about to have sex with. "I wanna psyche myself up, okay?"

He offered you a remorseful smile and loosened his grip on your waist. "Alright, alright, I'll cool it down just for your sake, pretty. We've got all night long, anyway."

The rest of the elevator ride was quite silent with the ding of the elevator being the only sound made. Once you made it onto your guys' floor, the other sounds filling up the hallway were the sounds of couples having sex. Though you were no stranger to sex, you still had some sense of decency, so the sounds being made were quite embarrassing to listen to.

Toji took note of your discomfort, and he couldn't resist the urge to tease you just a little bit. "Soon, we'll be joining them with our own sounds," he croaked into your ear, making you jolt.

"D-Don't tease me like that! At least not until we're in the room itself..."

"It's just a little bit of teasing, doll--y'know I don't mean it like that."

Once you made it in front of your door, Toji grabbed the keycard and slid it into the lock, then promptly opened the door. "After you, m'lady," Toji said courteously.

"Thank you," you hummed with Toji following after you. The love hotel was Parisian-themed, and it was evident from the Eiffel tower decoration behind the bed as well as the faux-balcony that led to the outside. The bathroom had a large jacuzzi with gilded faucets, and if this wasn't a love hotel then you would've thought that you were in Versailles. "Well, this is something," you remarked as you set your bag down.

"Only the best for my gorgeous girl," Toji hummed, walking towards you. His first instinct was to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in for a kiss, but you put your hands and stopped him. "What's wrong? Did I do somethin' wrong?"

He truly was a gentleman.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, Toji," you reassured him. "Remember when I said I was nervous?"

He sighed, letting his hands fall to his side. "Doll, c'mon--you've gotta give me space to work with. How am I supposed to make you feel good if you don't let me?"

You tried to calm yourself down, but it didn't do anything. "'m sorry, Toji... I'm the worst possible girl to take out."

"You're not the 'worst possible'; you're just a little nervous, and that's understandable. But the way you keep refusing my advances and offers to help you calm down is starting to get on my nerves a little." He thought about what he could do to help you unwind, and he finally came up with an idea. "I know: why don't we start off with a little bit of foreplay? Y'know, some making out followed by taking these pesky clothes off? I really, really wanna make this work between us, baby... but you've gotta trust me. It won't feel good if there's no mutual trust."

You thought over everything you said, and it all sounded good--quite appealing, at that. While you were nervous of getting down to it, you still wanted it. You wanted Toji to make you feel good because you trusted & were attracted to him.

"Yeah, that sounds good," you finally said at last. Toji released the breath he was holding and smiled at you.

"Thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," he murmured into your ear. He pulled you close and gave you a light kiss on the cheek, putting his hands on your waist to steady you. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, baby, you're not even gonna remember why you were nervous to begin with."

"I trust you-" he cut you off by moving his lips to yours, and he captured them in a featherlight kiss. "Toji..." you whispered into the kiss.

"Yeah, that's it--say my name," he murmured, pressing an even deeper kiss to your lips. "God, you taste so fuckin' sweet, baby," he whispered, "lemme kiss you some more, 'kay?"

He sat down on the bed and pulled you in by the waist, his big hands keeping a firm grip on your body so that you wouldn't go anywhere. Even his hands dwarfed your body, that was how big he was!

The more he kissed you, the more you relaxed and let him do what he thought felt right. Before you knew it, the two of you were engaged in a heated make-out session, the sounds of your sighs & lips smacking providing a soundtrack to the night. While it may have just been foreplay, you were already melting into it. "More... I want more, Toji~" you whined into his mouth.

"You want more already, pretty thing?" he rasped, his hands exploring your body like an untouched treasure, "use your words, baby. Tell Toji what you want--clearly."

"I want you... to keep kissin' me... touch me some more..." you grabbed his hand and guided it up your shirt, and you squeezed your breast with his hand. "I want you to touch me right there- oh~!"

He didn't need any direction, already squeezing your tit through your bra. "You like it when I squeeze your tits, baby? How about I squeeze this other one, hm? Wouldn't want it to get lonely, now, would you?" His little questions, sweet-talking and his big hands were turning your knees into wobbly jelly.

"Yeah~ yeah~ gimme more, Toji, fuck--I want all of that!" you exclaimed into his lips.

"Just as I thought: underneath that nervous little exterior of 'yers, you're a little slut, ain't ya?" he gave you a smirk and bit down on your bottom lip, making you yelp into the kiss. "Fuck, just listen to all of those sweet noises, baby--my dick's so fuckin' hard for ya. Can't you feel it, baby?" he even grabbed your hand and made you palm his erection, and he let out a deep sigh once you did so. "Those little hands of yours... fuck, I can't wait to feel 'em wrapped around my cock."

Your hands used to be a source of discontent for you, given how... manly they looked, but compared to Toji's hands? Well, they were dwarfed entirely.

"J-Just how big are you?" you asked out of nervousness once you felt the full weight and size of his erection.

"Wait and see, baby girl," he purred, offering you a cocky smirk. He knew he was well-endowed, and he knew that he was good at using those inches. "Or would you rather skip all the foreplay and get to the good stuff?"

You shook your head, still palming his erection. "No, I still wanna ease into it," you said.

"Have it your way, then. This night's all about you, sweet stuff." He resumed his kissing, this time latching his lips onto your jawline & trailing his lips down to your chest. You had an affinity for low-cut tops, so it gave him the perfect amount of space to pepper kisses on. "Mmmm... yeah, you are definitely some sweet stuff," he murmured, pressing kisses to your chest.

"Mn~" you moaned softly, biting your lips as if you were embarrassed of the way this man made you feel.

"Oh? You like it when I kiss you there?" he asked, peppering more kisses to your cleavage.

"Yeah, I do, Toji~" you murmured, letting out a bigger moan.

"What about... here?" he pressed one right in between the valley of your tits, and it was enough to elicit a nice, loud moan. "Fuck... you're really enjoying this, huh," he drawled in between chest kisses.

"I am, Toji, I am," you managed to breathe out. The more you moaned, the tighter his grip became on your waist.

"Yeah, you really are, princess. But, isn't that what we came here to do?" You nodded, and he chuckled. "Fuck, yeah, it is. Gonna make you feel so good... you're gonna forget 'yer own name."

Chest kisses weren't enough for the guy; he wanted--needed more of you. He needed to see you in the heat of the moment, to see how you reacted to getting the wind taken from your lungs, to see the way your ass would bounce against his powerful pelvis.

"Why don't we take this thing off, hm?" he was already in the middle of sliding your top off when he asked you that, so all you could do was let him. Once he did, his eyes lit up at the sight of your chest in that pretty pink bra. "Such pretty tits, held up by this pretty bra of yours," he rasped, hooking his finger underneath the pink fabric. "You wore this nice of lingerie just for me? Just for ol' Toji?"

You nodded vigorously, no longer shy or bashful. "Yeah, I wore it for you, Toji," you affirmed. "Wore it so you could tear it off of me."

His eyebrows shot up when you started voicing your fantasies, and he shook his head. "Yeah, you really are turning into a big ol' slut. None of that cute, shy shit anymore, huh?"

"I can't help it; your fingers just make me feel too good!"

"Oh, my fingers are making you feel good?" he repeated, a hint of mocking in his voice. "Well, in that case..." his big hands yanked the shorts underneath your mini skirt and his two fingers started caressing your hole. "Does that feel good, doll?"

You gasped and arched into his body, your perfect tits pressed against his clothed chest. "Fuck... feels so good~!"

"Oh, really? But I ain't even stick anything into ya? Are you really that touch-starved?" he asked mockingly, his green eyes leering at your blushing, moaning expression. One of his hands spanked your plump cheek, making you yelp. "Answer the question, doll."

"Y-Yes, fuck--I'm so fucking touch starved," you said through a moan, yelping when he spanked you again.

"Damn right, you are. Can't wait to see how tight you are--I can already imagine the way you're gonna suffocate my cock." The hand that was caressing your hole pushed past your panties and he stuck those two fingers into your hole, fingering you through your panties.

These ministrations of his fingers were making you lose your mind, and you let out the loudest moan yet. "F-Fuck! Oh, fuck- fuck, such thick fingers!!" You gasped, your voice reaching a new pitch you didn't think was possible.

"Yeah? You like my thick fingers inside o' that hole of 'yers? If I didn't know any better, I woulda assumed that you were a virgin, but how could I when you're such. A. Fucking. Slut?" he punctuated his question with spanks, his two fingers still fingering you. "C'mon, doll, lemme hear s'more of those moans. You know you wanna moan for Toji," he coaxed you, now stretching your cheek open with the hand that was spanking you.

And so, you moaned. You moaned as loud as you wanted to & possibly could, no longer worrying about how embarrassingly loud they'd be. Toji wasn't judging your moans; he savored them, worshiped them like they were holy scripture. "Fuck~! Fuck~! Oh, fuck, T-Toji--your fingers, they're so fucking good, keep curling them, please!! I'm gonna c-cum on your fingers if you k-k-keep this up!!" You were a babbling, incoherent mess while he worked his fingers into your tight hole. He pushed another finger in, essentially slutting you out on his hand alone. He licked his fingers again and started pumping them in & out harder, the feral grin on his face widening in size.

"Yeah, yeaah, that's what I'm fuckin' talking about, baby!" He exclaimed, fucking you vigorously on his fingers. "You're gonna cum, aren't ya? You're gonna cum from my fingers alone? You little whore, I can't wait to turn your brain to mush with my cock, just you wait!" If you weren't such a touch-starved whore for this man, the look in his eyes would've sent you running...

.... but you were a touch-starved whore. You were sucking his fingers in like you needed them to survive, like you'd die if you didn't get fingered by the older man. When his fingers hit that spongy spot inside of your tender hole, your eyes shot open and you felt an ache building up in your tummy. "Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck~!!" you squealed, "Fuck, Toji, k-keep fingerin' me right there, you're touching all of my sweet spots!!" You were no better or quieter than any of those other people in the next door rooms.

He realized that he'd hit your soft spot, and the grin on his face only intensified. "Oh, you want it there?" he dug his fingers in as deep as he possibly could, hitting your prostate yet again.

"Yes, fuck yes, Toji!!" You screamed at the top of your lungs.

"Oh, you little fucking slut, you're getting your brains fucked out just by my fingers, eh? I don't even need a cock to make you lose your mind, because you've already lost it!!" He continued savagely finger-fucking you, pushing you that much closer to the edge.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you babbled, your eyes half-lidded as he jackhammered his hand into your hole, "I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum- haven't came in so-"

Just like that, you felt the cord snap in your belly, and you let the dam break. You didn't know what you said to him, only that you felt a gush of cum go through your penis & stain your panties. Your milky fluid soaked your panties entirely, some of it even landing on his pants and staining the black fabric. You let out a "Tojiii~!!" when you came, and you slumped over into the crook of his neck. He caught you before you could fall, and he couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.

"Now, that's what I'm fucking talking about, doll," he said into your ear, patting your back and planting a kiss on your neck. Once you sat up and looked at him again, he captured your plump lips into a soft yet firm kiss, craning your head just right so he could kiss you perfectly.

"Toji... fuck, I didn't think I could cum that hard on a couple of fingers alone," you giggled, your mind still reeling from the intense pleasure.

"That's because you've been messing around with little boys who don't know what they're doing, doll. Can't even please a woman regardless if they've got a pussy or a dick," he chuckled, letting you catch your breath. "But I hope you know that that was just the appetizer, baby; there's plenty more where that came from."

"W-What?" before you knew it, you'd been flipped onto your back with Toji hovering over you.

"Hey there, pretty," he hummed, giving you a smile.

"Hey, Toji," you replied, the intensity of his gaze making you blush again.

"Blushin' already?" he moved one of his hands to your cheek and rubbed it as if you were a kitten. "Sweet girl," he cooed. Once he was done rubbing your cheek, he reached around your back and unclasped your bra. "Don't mind if I do," he gruffed, taking your bra off and letting the treasures that were your tits free. When the bra wasn't holding them up anymore, he could finally appreciate and marvel at them. "Fuck, doll... those are some sweet tits you've got there," he said, licking his lips and practically salivating at the sight. "May I?"

"May you what?" you asked, already embarrassed at how he was ogling you.

"May I suck your breasts, baby? They're such works of art that I wanna make sure I'm not tainting 'em," he murmured, already drooling over them.

"Toji, they're just my breasts," you giggled. "Nothing to be proud of..."

"Nothing to be proud of?! Baby, you've got the most amazing tits I've ever seen--and I've seen plenty. They're so perfectly round, so perky, 'n those nipples are just the perfect size to suck on."

You couldn't help but blush and giggle as he went on & on about your chest and how much he loved it. "If it gets you to stop... gushing about them, then you can suck-"

You didn't have to tell the man twice. He already had one of your nipples in his mouth and was holding the other in his hand, and you couldn't stop the beautiful moan that left your raspberry lips. "Fuck, Toji, you really know how to make a girl f-feel good," you whimpered, the intensity of his tit-sucking making your nipples extra sensitive.

"It's in my DNA," he said against your nipple. "I'm good at making pretty girls feel good." He shot you a cocky smirk before sucking on the other, practically losing his mind at the taste. If your nipples tasted this good, he wondered what it'd be like to eat your ass, maybe even suck your cock... if you let him, of course.

Once he'd had enough of your tits in his mouth, he retracted his lips & kissed yours. "Now those are some sweet tits," he chuckled, finally giving you some room to breathe.

"Toji... now they're all puffy and swollen," you pouted at the extra-sensitivity that came as a result of his voracious tit worship.

He shrugged at your little gripe. "Can you blame a guy?" he even flicked your nipple and watched you squirm in discomfort, shooting you a shit-eating grin. "Making you lose your mind's part of the deal, doll, and I can't do that if you're not a moaning mess. Now, spread those legs for me, baby girl, because I'm gonna show you how it feels to get devoured by a guy who knows what he's doin'."

"What are you..." you trailed off when he pulled your skirt down entirely and exposed your drenched panties. He could make out the outline of your soft penis, and he hooked his fingers under the fabric of your panties & slid them down your smooth thighs. Once he was finally able to see all of you, the little smile that was on his face grew into a wide grin.

"Fuck, doll... you're just..." he sat up to get a good look at your naked form, and you shyly covered your crotch in embarrassment. "Nah, don't hide this gorgeous sight from me, doll, lemme see you." He pried your hands off with one of his and once he was able to see you fully, he took in your naked form with his eyes. "You're a work of fucking art, baby."

"You're just sayin' shit, Toji," you mumbled, a little embarrassed by his praising.

"I'm saying shit from the heart, doll," he corrected you, making you crack a little smile. "I just... wow, you're just amazing." He shook his head in disbelief at how such a perfect specimen could be wandering earth without his knowledge. "I definitely found an angel," he jested, making you crack another smile.

"Can you just get on with what you're doing?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Slowly but surely, he planted kisses on your belly & made his way down to where the goodies were. "Spread those legs f'me, doll. I need to see every inch of you."

You parted your legs gingerly, letting him see what he wanted to see. He lowered his head to where your hole was & grabbed your legs, spreading them further for his liking. He then pushed them back up gently, giving him a full view of your puckered anus. "Look at that shit... so delicious, so perfect, so sweet-lookin'," he muttered, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh. "You're just perfect in every single way... fucking fuck," he chuckled, shaking his head once again.

You stayed silent, far too vulnerable or nervous to give him one of your usually sassy quips. "Cat got 'yer tongue, doll?"

"You've got my tongue," you muttered, making him chuckle again.

"I'm gonna feast on this perfect hole of 'yers, baby, and then I'm gonna impale you on this dick & make you see stars," he promised, sitting up again. "Lemme just... take this damn sweater off," he grumbled, sliding the white cotton over his head.

It was your turn to marvel at him now. You knew that he was a big guy with some big muscles, but now that you were seeing the real deal for yourself, you couldn't help the squeak of nervousness that left your lips. He truly was an adonis in every sense of the word: his meaty pecs that were thicker than some peoples' boobs, a shredded 8-pack that could quite literally grind cheese on it, that thin, tapered waist that expanded to a set of broad shoulders, not to mention the biceps that could crush your head. "Oh, wow," you said involuntarily, the intrusive thoughts escaping your mind.

"Like what you see, doll?" he asked cockily, flexing one of his huge biceps for you.

"Yeah... I do like, me likey," you said, still entranced by his frame.

"I told you I wasn't one of those little boys you've been hanging around, doll--I know what I'm doin'." He put his bicep down and then dipped his head back to your puckered hole, and you couldn't help but tense up a little. You tried to close your thighs out of embarrassment, but he easily pried them open with his two big hands. "Enough hidin' baby, enough of that coy shit. I already made you cum on my fingers, right? Now, I'm gonna make you cum on my tongue."

Before you could say anything, he latched his mouth to your hole, the sensation immediately making you squeak. "Fuck~!" You gasped, the wet muscle licking a stripe up your anus.

"It's time to enjoy my meal," he gruffed before diving in fully, his face disappearing into your anal cavity.

Toji wasn't lying--he really wasn't, because when he said he'd make you lose your mind, you were doing just that. "Fuck... oh, fuck, T-Toji~" you sighed, relaxing into his ministrations. You've had your ass eaten before, but the skill and tenacity with which he ate you out was 10 times more pleasurable than those other times.

The more he licked and flicked, the more moans you moaned. You were writhing about, your hands gripping both the sheets and his hair in delicious agony. It was like you were a virgin, touched for the very first time by this experienced, older man. "Fuck~!" You squealed, not knowing what else to do but enjoy it. Every time your gaze would wander back to Toji, the sight of his biceps curled and his broad shoulders supporting your legs made your stomach flutter. He was just so incredibly attractive in every way, and his oral skills were just that: incredibly attractive.

"I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum soon, fuck--I've never been pushed to the edge so quickly!" You admitted between breathy moans, still grinding your ass against his face.

"Yeah? You're gonna cum already?" he asked in between licks and slurps, "hah, you're already such a whore for ol' Toji, and he hasn't even fucked you with his cock." He gave your thigh a firm slap before diving back in again. You could see the enjoyment in his verdant eyes, and it only made you lose your mind that much quicker.

Soon enough, the words and quips escaping your mouth lessened in favor of the moans & whimpers that took their rightful places. He was loving every second of this--both your heavenly moans and taste on his tongue were just perfect. He could feel himself losing it, his tongue devouring you like a feral animal that needed taming.

"Fuck... so fucking delicious, baby... you've been keeping this taste from me for how long?" he asked in between sucks. "I'm never lettin' go of ya now, not when you taste so perfect."

You were mindlessly moaning and nodding your head to everything he said, no longer able to resist the sweet temptation of losing yourself in his mouth. "Yeah~ yeah, Toji, f-fuck yeah~!" the man could've asked to marry you right then and there and you wouldn't have registered it, that was how insane he drove you.

If he could use his tongue on you so expertly, how would you fare taking his cock?

He chuckled into your sweet, plush ass, now stroking your cock gently. "Jus' keep those pretty moans comin', baby, and I'll give you everything you want."

By then, you didn't know how long it had been since he'd started eating your ass. It could've been 10 minutes, an hour or ten hours--numbers were no longer a thing in your mind. You knew he had an experience with pleasuring women, but you didn't know he'd be such an eater! It was like the more he ate, the more he craved. His appetite simply couldn't be quenched. Toji, himself, also took note of how he was losing himself in you, but he just couldn't stop. You were too sweet for your own good, and someone would have to enjoy it. He noticed how your thighs were trembling like an earthquake from the intensity of it all, and he gave you an apologetic stare & retracted his lips temporarily (still fingering you).

"'m sorry, doll, but you're just too sweet... I've gotta have more of this," he panted before diving in again.

All you could give in response was a pathetic whine and a moan.

"Losin' your mind so quickly?" he jested in between swipes of your hole. "Like a cute lil' virgin," he hummed before diving in again, burying his face in your engorged hole. "Fuck.. need more... gotta have some more of you... you don't mind, do you?" Before you could even make a sound, he grabbed your hips and held them up with his strong hands, dipping his tongue even deeper if that was even humanly possible.

You let out a loud, high-pitched moan when he did this. How could it be that his tongue was already reaching your sweet spot?! "F-F-Fuck, Toji, please!!" You gasped, writhing about when he mounted your hips in the air.

"Please what, doll?" he taunted you in between sucks.

"P-Please, just make me cum already--I c-can't take this pleasure anymore!!"

"The little princess wants to cum, eh?" he chuckled lowly, making your cheeks heat up out of embarrassment. "Alright, alright... I guess I'll stop torturin' ya." He shifted the weight of your body to one of his hands & his strong arm, and he moved the other hand to start stroking your cock.

When his hand made contact around your cock, that was when all hell broke loose inside of your body. "Tojiii~!!" You squealed, bucking your hips while being held in mid-air, "Toji, Toji, Toji, T-Toji- I can't- I'm fucking c-cum-"

It was laughably cute how you desperately, needly jerked your hips into his hand, practically doing all the work for him. Your cum shot out in spurts, the milky-white substance landing on your tits, the perfect decoration for a pretty girl like you.

"That's it, there you go--thereee you go, pretty," he encouraged you, removing his mouth from your abused anus. "Cumming so much for me... fuck, you're just precious, baby. So fuckin' precious." He cooed and coaxed you with his words, guiding you through your second orgasm & its aftershocks.

When you finally came to and opened your eyes to look at him, his face was a few inches from yours, and he was carefully watching your reactions. "There you are, doll," he crooned, cupping your cheek gently. "Now, how was that for being eaten?" he asked with a cocky chuckle. One of his hands moved closer to your lips, and he stuck his thumb inside just to see what would happen. "Look at you," he rasped. "Even when you're reelin' from an orgasm, you're still so eager to please." He stuck his thumb further into your mouth just for the fun of it before retracting.

"Never been eaten like that before," you admitted with flushed cheeks.

"That's because you've never been with a real man before," he chuckled, patting your cheek before sitting up again. "Speaking of real men, I believe you've got a little present waitin' for ya." His hands moved to the hem of his pants, and he undid the buckle of his belt. "You're in for a real doozy if you came that hard on my fingers," he warned you, watching as your brows furrowed in confusion and fear.

"What're you..." you quickly realized just what he meant when he unbuckled his pants and shimmied out of them. The tent in his boxers was...

Massive.

You wondered what kind of monster he was hiding in there. Sure, you weren't a virgin--but you might as well have been one to Toji. He grabbed the waistband of his boxers and looked at you intently, watching your every reaction: "you ready, doll?"

Before you could answer that, he pulled his boxers down and let the Goliath of his cock spring free. And what you saw only confirmed your suspicions.

"Oh my god," was all you said.

His cock was massive, just like the rest of him. It was a good 9-inches, girthy, and was leaking precum like crazy onto the sheets. "Sorry 'bout that," he said in mock apology when his precum made a mess on the sheets. His cock had an angry red tip and one big vein up the side, and the sheer thickness of it was a doozy.

"How the fuck is that supposed to fit inside of me?" you asked out of panic. You were eager to have sex with the man, sure, but you weren't eager to be sent to the hospital.

"With plenty of lube and preparation, of course." He reached over to the nightstand and saw what kind of stuff they had in there. Luckily for your poor little hole, they had different bottles of lubricant as well as condoms for all shapes & sizes (including Magnum XXL). He took out the biggest size option and ripped open the plastic. He rolled it onto his cock before looking at you, and the fear in your eyes made him soften up for a moment. "What's the matter, doll? Are you scared of me or somethin'?"

"I'm not scared of you; I'm scared of your cock," you clarified, still eyeing the huge meat that he was packing.

He let out a chuckle before slicking some lube onto his cock. "Doll, don't worry; I've done this plenty of times before. My ex-wife was actually a virgin when we first got together, and we had a son together."

"I guess you're right..."

He set the jokes aside and cupped your chin again. "What I'm saying is that you don't gotta worry about anything, doll. I'm good at making women feel good, and that includes women like you. We'll ease into it as slowly as you want and you can take as much time as you need. All I want is for the two of us to enjoy ourselves." He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, quelling any further worries. "I really, really like you, (Y/N). I'd never do anything to hurt you. You trust me, right?"

You nodded shakily once you parted lips.

"Good, because that's all I want," he added with a comforting smile. "I want this to lead somewhere, y'know? And what good would it do me to hurt you?" He trailed kisses down your neck and gave your breast a reaffirming squeeze. "Just you wait, baby. Once the initial stretch is out of the way, you're gonna feel so fuckin' amazing."

You smiled softly at Toji, still nervous but confident that you were gonna have a great time with him. "I trust you, Toji. I trust your abilities."

"That's a good girl," he rumbled in response. He coated his fingers in lubricant and stuck them inside of you, the cold feeling making you yelp and squirm. "Sorry 'bout that, doll, I just wanted to make sure you were all slippery and ready f'me." After wiping the excess on his thigh, he grabbed ahold of his lubed up cock & started moving it towards your entrance. "Spread those legs, baby... yeah, that's it. You follow orders so well," he praised, grabbing your thigh and pinning it back with his hand. "Okay, here it goes... just hold onto me, pretty girl, hold onto my back."

You were nervous, oh-so nervous about what was to come. You knew it was gonna hurt, you knew it'd be uncomfortable at first, but yet you were still determined to take it because you knew you could. After all, surely it wouldn't hurt that bad, right?

Wrong.

When you felt the head of his cock pierce your hole, your eyes immediately shot open and you felt a pain in your butt. "Ah~!" your initial moan of pain was quite high-pitched, and he winced at the thought of the initial stretch. Slowly but surely, Toji slid more & more of his cock into your ass, gritting his teeth the entire time. You, meanwhile, were whimpering in pain, whining from how bad it hurt. "Toji, Toji, p-please--I can't take it-"

"C'mon, baby, you've got this. Just breathe 'n hold onto me, okay? You're doing so well, sooo fuckin' well," he crooned into your ear, kissing away the tears of pain that flowed down your cheeks.

"Please, Toji, it hurts!"

"I know it hurts, I know--but you're almost there, see? We're past the halfway point already. C'mon, you're a big girl, you can handle it. Just... just lemme slide... oh, fuck-" the feeling of your tight ass around his cock was just heavenly. It was unlike anything he's ever felt before. Any mouth that sucked him, any pussy that took him couldn't even compare to this overflow of sensation that he was feeling. It was like angels were caressing him, like the softest pillow in existence. "Oh, fucking fuck," he panted, desperately resisting the urge to just shove it all in there and take your pleasure for himself. "Just... just a little bit more... hah- are you tryin' to choke me or somethin'?"

"No, I swear! It's just, it hurts so good, god you're so fucking big, Toji!!" And there it was: that spongy spot that drove the two of you wild. Once the tip of his cock pierced it, all those whines and pained cries were replaced by sheer, unabashed pleasure. The combination of the fading pain & the incoming waves of pleasure and heaven were enough to make you scream out his name: "Tojiii, fuuuck!!"

"Jesus christ... oh my god," he rasped, throwing his head back at the delicious constriction. "You feel so, so, so amazing." He moved his head back to look at you, and his eyes widened by how deliciously erotic the scene was. You, underneath him, your face the unbridled image of pleasure, and that yummy belly bulge that showed where his cock was hitting you. "Fuck, I'm hitting you that deep? Hahh, if there was any chance of me letting you go, that chance was just wiped away! Just lemme... fuck," he gasped when he retracted his cock slowly but surely, dragging every inch against your anal walls.

When he plunged his cock back inside of you, you could see stars painted on the ceiling above you. "I... can't... it feels too good... m-making me lose my mind-" you said in between gasps.

"Too good? Too good?" he was slowly starting to pick up steam, rocking his hips back and forth. "Just wait 'til you get adjusted to me, because I'm gonna make you see the whole fucking galaxy."

As Toji gradually began to pick up speed, your nails dug into his muscular back, raking it down, making his back all but red. "Fuck~ fuck~ fuck~ fuck~" you whimpered in between thrusts, your eyes going half-lidded and your jaw going slack.

"Yeahhhh, there you go, doll," he panted, "just keep tellin' me how amazing you're feeling, and I'll make you feel even better."

The more he thrusted into you, the dirtier your moans became. You were now reduced to nothing but a moany, whiny puddle with your hands going to his back and holding on for dear life. Toji was also in a similar state to you, thrusting into you like a madman who needed you to survive.

"Fuck... shit, doll, you're so fuckin' warm n' heavenly--are you trying to make me addicted to you? Because it's workin, baby girl," he rasped, dipping his head to where yours laid and whispering dirty nothings into your ear.

After you let out a few whiny, incoherent moans, you were able to babble: "W-Want you, Toji--want you to keep fucking me like this!"

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you like this? Or, maybe," he grabbed your legs, threw them over his shoulders & folded you like a pretzel, "like this?" This change in position allowed the tip of his meaty cock to pierce your spongy spot, making you moan like an idiot with each ministration. Each stroke was designed to ruin you, each word was spoken to make your knees like jelly, and each look he casted you was filled with his love.

"C'mon, baby, look at me, talk to me," he crooned, trying to get your attention again. He gently grabbed your cheeks and turned your head to face him, his jade eyes seeking the affirmations within yours. "Look at me... I wanna see those pretty eyes of 'yers."

When you refused to look at him out of sheer embarrassment from the moans & whimpers you let out, he grabbed your chin with his hand and forced you to look at him. "Look at me, angel, look at me while I fuck you like this."

"I'm l-looking- I'm looking!!"

"Good... god, angel do you know how fucking gorgeous you look right now? All vulnerable and splayed out for ol' Toji here? God, it's been ages since I've had pussy like this--I didn't even know it could feel so fucking good!" he exclaimed, a light snarl making its way out of his mouth.

"Never had dick like yours, d-daddy!" you squealed, somehow still able to talk, even after the man just started making your insides mush.

'Daddy?' he asked himself. Did you really just call him daddy?

"W-What was that?" he asked, his eyes blown wide from the term.

"I said... fuck~ I've never had dick like yours, daddy!!" you said with more vigor. "Never had such a long, g-girthy dick like yours--it's so fucking incredible, I'm drooling n' making such a big fucking mess on this bed!!"

He felt something snap inside of him when you called him daddy for the second time. It was like the tightrope that he was walking on snapped finally, and all the pent-up frustration and lust inside of him was going haywire.

"Daddy? Daddy?" he repeated, this time in a mocking tone of voice. "Oh, ohhh, so I'm your daddy now, huh?" the sudden change of demeanor made your belly churn in equal parts fear & excitement. You could see the beast inside of him slowly coming out, his green eyes becoming a jaded, darker color. "Answer me, you slut: am I your daddy? Yes or no!" he slapped the inside of your thigh harshly, making you yelp in pain.

"Yeah, y-you're m'daddy-"

"That's more like it, that's what I wanna hear. I bet you have a nice, big kink for letting older men like me have their way with you, fucking your brains out n' stuffing you like a creampie--or am I the only one who's churned you like butter?" with each thrust, each question posed, he let out another snarl, almost like a feral wolf in heat.

"Oh, I am sooo gonna destroy you now, you little slut. I mean, just look at the way you're lookin' at me right now, I bet you wore that slutty lil' lingerie set of yours earlier so you could get the ever-loving shit fucked out of you, huh? Huh?" he slapped your thigh again & again, his large red hand leaving a print on the fat. "Answer me when I ask you questions!!"

"Y-Yes!" you admitted finally, "I wore that lingerie set so I could get the shit... fucked out of me!! God, I've been waiting for this day for ages, the day when I'd finally find someone who could ruin me!!"

He let out a dark laugh, stuffing two fingers down your throat & making you gag. "You fucking whore, you're a fucking whore, aren't ya? A whore for big dicks, eh? I bet I've already turned you into my whore, haven't I, angel?"

You nodded while gagging on his fingers, the tears of pleasure and pain falling down your cheeks. Here you were, getting completely slutted out, drilled into this mattress by a guy who was 10 years your senior, and you were in heaven. You had no idea that meeting up with someone you met online could lead to the most mind-numbing, toe-curling sex imaginable, but you were so fucking glad to have taken the leap.

"Enough talking from you, whore," he sneered, adding a third finger to your mouth & making you drool. "I'm gonna show you how good it feels to be turned into a fleshlight."

By the time the words registered inside of your head, you were already long gone. The combination of his fingers down your throat, the dirty degradation & praise he was spewing into your ear, and the feeling of his cock piercing your spongy spot relentlessly made your mind break, and you were only one round in. With Toji's endless, stallion-like stamina, you were no doubt gonna be fucked in all sorts of positions & ways.

A week ago, you wouldn't have recognized the girl who you'd been turned into. You probably would've been embarrassed of yourself at that. But any girl or guy would've been jealous of you if they saw how good the pipe was.

"Fuck~! Fuck~! Fuck~!" was all that you were able to say as the man demolished you (with your approval, of course). You'd never cum so fast in your life, but you could feel that familiar bubble building up in you--only it was a good 10 times more intense than the last time you had sex with a guy. Maybe it was the deep dish dick that he gave you, or maybe it was the insane chemistry that you and him had, but it was coming to you like a freight train.

He could feel your tight little anus clenching down on his cock repeatedly, and he knew that you were gonna cum quickly. "Awww, is my lil' angel gonna cum?" he asked mockingly, to which you nodded. "I shouldn't even let ya cum after seeing how much of a whore you are, but you've been sooo good to my dick that I just have to reward you."

He leaned down to kiss the side of your face & whispered: "go ahead, princess, cum for me. Cum on daddy's dick, n' I'll stuff ya full of his seed." He even rubbed your cock just so you could cum sooner.

And just like that, you came all over yourself & his hand. It was a pretty sight to see, the milky white fluid shooting out of your tip like an uncontrollable, unstable geyser, and you couldn't stop the "Toji~!"s and "daddy~!"s from leaving your lips--not that either of you wanted that to stop.

Toji just chuckled & watched you ride out your orgasm on his dick. "Fuck... just look at you, baby, you're a work of art. If we weren't strangers, I woulda snapped a pic o' this view and made it my lockscreen, but we aren't there yet?"

As you came down from your high, you looked at him hazily in confusion. "Wha...? Whaddya mean?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow. "I'm keeping ya around, pet. What, you thought that this was some one-time, one-night stand?" he scoffed, shaking his head.

"I'm not letting go of your sweet ass until my hands can't physically do so anymore."

Toji promptly fucked you in every single position imaginable, orgasm after orgasm spewing from the tip of your overstimulated penis. Missionary, doggy, cowgirl, spooning, reverse cowgirl, the spread-eagle--the mating press was your personal favorite because you got to feel every ounce of that man on top of you.

By the time you were able to register what was happening, you'd already came... however many times you came, and you were currently getting pistoned into in the full nelson. He had your ankles next to your head, your soft, squishy body propped up against his shredded & muscular frame, and his huge cock lodged deep inside of you.

"Fuck... fuck... fuck," he panted, still thrusting after all this time. "You can take another load, right, doll? Well, it don't matter anyway; you're taking my seed until my balls empty out."

"Toji... p-please," you whimpered, so overstimulated that you could barely keep conscious. "Had enough..."

"Oh, you can take another. You're a big girl, right?" he patted your thigh mockingly and went back to holding your ankle up, making sure that you were at his mercy. "So overstuffed you might just burst, hm?" he cooed, kissing next to your ear. "I just love making pretty girls like you into total sluts."

You went back to lolling your head to the side, your jaw open as the moans escaped your lips.

"Fuck... think 'm gonna-" before he could finish that sentence, he dumped yet another thick & heavy load into your hole. You let out a weak whimper and curled your toes, the feeling stimulating you yet again. Your eye trailed over to him when you realized that he wasn't thrusting anymore, and you could see that he was panting heavily.

"Toji...?"

"I think I've dumped every ounce of seed into ya, doll," he chuckled breathlessly, throwing his head back in victory. "N' you managed to do it without tapping out, too. I'm proud of ya for taking all of this--most girls can't even manage a fourth round before tapping out."

You didn't say anything, instead falling back onto his body weakly. "So tired," you mumbled against his meaty pec.

"I know you are," he crooned, running a hand through your hair and smiling at your fucked-out form. "You really took it all like a champ, angel. I'm truly proud of you."

Taking all of his pipe & his seed should've earn you a trophy.

"Thankyou," you slurred, still resting your head on his chest. "Think I'm gonna... rest here for a little while."

"Me, too, doll," he sighed, stretching his arm out to wrap around your shoulders. He leaned in, pressing a few kisses to your sweaty forehead, looking at you with every ounce of love he had in his body. "You know I didn't mean any of that shit about you being a slut, right?"

"Mm..."

"That's how I get when I'm caught up in the moment," he chuckled, now nuzzling his lips there. "You're just the most beautiful girl in the world," he remarked, still gazing at you fondly. "It's a wonder you're still available. Then again, not many can handle a girl like you, can they?"

You were slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms, the love hotel's bed surprisingly comfy for your weak form. "Hey... you're not gonna... run off in the morning, right? Like all the rest?"

"Are you kiddin' me?" he scoffed, the notion of him being a guy like that ridiculous to him. "I'm not an asshole, doll. I've got the most beautiful girl in the world resting in my arms. Ain't no way I'm gonna make the mistake of letting you go so quickly, no ma'am. When I meant I wasn't gonna leave you alone, I meant it."

By then, he realized that you had fallen asleep, and he gave you a soft smile. "So fuckin' pretty when you're relaxed, doll..." he whispered, pressing more soft kisses to your forehead. He moved his arm from your shoulder to your waist and was now cradling your petite frame to his burly one.

"You're not like the others on that website, are you?" he asked both you and himself. "You're an angel amongst men... you don't belong there. You deserve the world, n' I hope you'll let me give it to you. Hell, I hope I can even give you what you deserve." He, too, felt a little weary, but he stayed awake just to watch your sleeping form.

"You deserve heaven, angel."

I'M PART OF THE SOFT!TOJI AGENDA!!! I wanted to give the reader a comforting ending, just in case someone was stuck in a bad situation w/ an asshole 🥹 I also kinda went overboard on the smut but I made the ending as fluffy as possible! I'm not proofreading this btw.

© ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ-ʙɪᴛᴄʜ77 on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 7/2/2024

[shoyostar]

VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL PROFILES.

SPOTLIGHT: KUROO TETSUROU HATE CLUB.

internationally regional profiles.

vacation bible school m.list. // hq. masterlist.

MISC. — (y/n) has known kuroo since childhood and kenma since middle school, but met bokuto and akaashi in uni.

SPOTLIGHTING: (Y/N)

second year systems biology student. has a philosophy of never chasing after men and instead letting them come to her. never fucks unless there’s something in it for her. has a part time job at a cafe on campus. she shares an apartment with kenma that neighbours bokuto and akaashi’s. got into utokyo on a scholarship and is really serious about her studies despite her lax attitude. has a lot of acquaintances on campus who she hangs out with sometimes but not people who she considers ‘friends’. doesn’t like getting into relationships (the emotional stuff makes her feel icky) and is pretty closed off to people except close friends.

SPOTLIGHTING: KENMA KOZUME

second year programming student. has an “alter-ego” (as he likes to call it) of being the increasingly famous faceless streamer kodzuken. a lot of rumours float around campus that he and y/n are dating (it lowkey repulses them, but it’s fun to fool people). has a horrible sleep schedule and always looks like he needs an energy drink. goes to class like once a week but is still passing with ease. took programming because of video games but is considering becoming a professional streamer or indie developer instead of going into an industry job. writes absolutely scathing, career ending game reviews on steam in his free time.

SPOTLIGHTING: KEIJI AKAASHI

second year comparative literature and japanese literature student who actually needs an energy drink. rues the day he decided to be ambitious and do a double major. chronically stressed and bokuto never shuts up about it. is around 580k yen in debt so he takes his academics extremely seriously. sometimes called a prude because he gets snarky when sex is brought up. has lost around three pairs of glasses and still doesn’t know where any of them are. has a little side groupchat with kenma and y/n where they hold study sessions and do late night snack runs together. plays solitaire with kenma at two am and their games get a little too heated for what should be considered normal.

SPOTLIGHTING: KOUTAROU BOKUTO

third year sports science major who really shouldn’t be in university to begin with. considered going pro after highschool but thought the transition would be easier if he played in uni instead of making the huge jump immediately. doesn’t really know what he’s doing in his classes so it’s a miracle he’s still in the program and is banking on his future pro career so he can slack off on his studies. works out with kuroo who keeps trying to lure him into a pyramid scheme. on the utokyo volleyball team and still gets lost around campus despite being in his third year. a loveable guy all around who has absolutely zero enemies. what he lacks in academics he makes up for in emotional wisdom.

SPOTLIGHTING: TETSUROU KUROO

third year marketing major who debates if he should’ve just taken chemistry instead because it was easier. the only one of the group who lives off campus and commutes to school (he’s always simultaneously out of the loop and in it all at once because of this). is really well known because he loves networking and is the most socially active by choice. keeps trying to get kenma into stock trading (it’s working to some degree). works out regularly with bokuto. does really sketchy shit for connections and is probably in some kind of ponzi scheme. doesn’t really stress over school because he passes with minimal studying and likes to gloat about it to akaashi who wants to strangle him at times.

reblogs are appreciated .ᐟ ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

© property of shoyostar / thomae 2023. all rights reserved.

[thowawayuntilfurthernotice]

As a (Now former) Tara Strong fan who looked up to her when I was younger, I am very very disappointed and disgusted by everything she’s said and done

To be fair, Tara Strong has been trash since the 2010's.

When MLP became a cultural juggernaut that revitalized her career, she became way more active on Twitter and the majority of her old deleted tweets were pretty fucking bad.

I’m not going to post any of them on here for the sake of my sanity, but you can easily find some screenshots via a simple Google search.

Anyway, my personal favorite "Tara Strong becomes Twitter's main character" moment has to be back in late 2021 when she got involved in an NFT ponzi scheme and got dunked on by everyone in the replies and QRT's.

The NFT thread is still up on her Twitter page by the way, guessing she either forgot to delete it or just moved on when the rest of the internet did.

I'm at that point where I can tolerate Strong's VO work, but I don't respect her as a person.

[clawbehavior]

what we do in the shadows

summary: judge kim gaon presides over the case of a recently apprehended serial killer, but not everything is as it seems.

pairing: kang yohan/kim gaon (the devil judge tv show). rated mature. cross posted to a03.

----

gaon rolls his shoulders, rearranges his expression to one of cool neutrality, and knocks twice. 

'come in,' comes the reply. minister cha cuts a striking figure from where she's leaning against her desk when gaon enters her office. she's dressed in all white today, a blinding and sterile shade designed to be unnerving, and could be if gaon wasn't so used to her little displays of power. 

'kim pansanim,' she says as gaon shuts the door behind him. 'meet judges oh jinjoo and kang yohan. they'll be presiding over juk chang's case alongside you.'

gaon tamps down on the tidal wave of frustration well before it reaches his face. he had advocated against this very thing, citing his early involvement in the case back when it was a string of murders in the downtown core starting with a homeless firefighter and an unemployed security guard connected by nothing but poverty and a strange MO, until the killer targeted a prolific businessman and the case was propelled into the public eye.

gaon holds her gaze unflinchingly, catches the brief gleam of something, irritation? excitement? anger? before she breaks eye contact and nods to the two people seated beside her. only then does gaon focus on them.

keep the legal expertise in house, gaon had advised minister cha, with officials who understood the context, who understood the conditions of the urban poor and what might drive a person to become a killer. but he could tell the longer he spoke, the more her dislike of him grew. she had hired him fresh off an early career win over a ponzi scheme so he could be a pretty face for the ministry. but the more he resisted that role, the more she attempted to force him into it. 

‘oh pansanim has a background in juvenile detention and poverty reduction efforts, so she can provide valuable insight into the legal strategies we’ll encounter in the court room,’ minster cha says.

oh jinjoo is a beautiful woman with straight hair, intelligent eyes, and a charming smile. gaon’s first instinct is to trust her. his second more battle worn instinct is to curb the impulse. he’s had enough experience with people in power to recognize when charm conceals ambition. he nods collegially, receiving an open smile in response, before his eyes land on the handsome man seated cross-legged beside judge oh. 

the man's posture is completely at ease but his gaze is disarmingly direct. he has lovely eyes, gaon notes before squashing that feeling too.

‘kang pansanim is a veteran of the criminal justice system,' minister cha explains as gaon takes a seat across his new colleagues. 'he joins us following a fulsome career in federal court spanning financial crime, international relations and security. he's accustomed to working high profile cases, and will take point on our communications strategy with the public.’

gaon’s eyes flick back to minister cha. he can read between the lines just fine: oh jinjoo will provide a compelling testimony for why a killer, even one raised in abject or inhumane conditions, is still a killer, while kang yohan exploits every legal loophole to put juk chang away for life. because that’s what’s going to happen, now that they have someone to pin the murders on. 

‘the blue house wants a quick resolution given the high profile nature of the case,’ minister cha says with a genial smile, already anticipating gaon’s pushback. he can empathize with the blue house. the killer's vendetta against corrupt powerful figures was very obvious.

‘in that case, what’s the rationale for hosting a public trial?’ gaon asks bluntly. ‘when we could expedite sentencing and control the release of information by preventing the public from attending.’ 

minister cha’s smile becomes strained but her voice remains collegial. ‘while i agree with your sentiments, we have to balance the benefits of a closed door session with the expectations of public service.’

‘and if the public uses this as a forum to host demonstrations over our recent safety measures, like increased police presence in already highly policed communities?’ gaon presses. ‘as you said, this is a sensitive case.’

‘i only want to be on the same page about managing expectations,’ he continues blithely and very undeterred by minister cha’s warning look. ‘lest we end up with public demonstrations inside and outside the courtroom and general unrest broadcast live.’ 

he feels almost bad for taking this approach when he is a known proponent for public transparency and accountability, but gaon wants to limit outside influence of any kind as much as possible for this case. 

‘if i may,’ cuts in an amused voice. 

gaon doesn’t respond to it outwardly.

judge kang continues after a beat. ‘the public will protest whether or not we provide them with an avenue to do so. but in conducting a public trial, we can restore public trust by reiterating our commitment to justice, including bringing all evidence to light.’ he manages to sound conciliatory and derisive at the same time. it’s an intriguing effect.

‘kang pansanim is right. we will give the defendant due process,’ says minister cha, failing to keep the patronizing tone from her voice as her supporters rally around her as intended. ‘all men are innocent until proven guilty in the eyes of the law.’ 

in any other situation, gaon would respond to her duplicitousness with well-contained fire. she’s making a show out of the justice system. he knows. she knows that he knows. it’s why they’ve been butting heads. but gaon has more important things to think of about than their vendetta right now.

‘it’s great that we have such passionate team members with diverse viewpoints,' judge oh says brightly. she says it so genuinely that it dials the tension down in the room. 

minister cha says something in response. gaon uses the opportunity to sneak a glance at his co-panelist, face giving nothing away --

-- only to find kang yohan staring at him. 

see, the thing is, gaon knows juk chang is innocent. not of crime -- the incidents of public violence and hate crimes that gaon can tie juk chang to number in the double digits, but what juk chang hasn’t done is murder a string of corrupt business owners.

the reason gaon knows this is because the real killer has been calling him. 

at first his killer had done it to taunt him. if only kim pansanim knew what the defendants on the bribery and corruption cases he was presiding over were truly capable of. but when gaon refused to back down or give up in fear, the calls had grown more frequent, accompanied by untraceable mail left at gaon’s house, the locked drawer of his office, inside the glove compartment of his car. all contained clues on his cases. it was info inadmissable in court, so gaon used it to dig deeper, to probe his defendants for answers, thereby turning cut and dry cases into lengthy investigations that made defendants sweat. 

why do you pick up when i call? the killer had mused over the phone one day while gaon was making his way to his car after a particularly grueling day in court. 

because you’re angry, gaon had said, a full day of work loosening his tongue. and i know that anger. if there’s any emotion i understand, it’s anger.

the killer had remained silent while gaon unlocked the car and stored his bag in the backseat.

how can you reconcile your anger with working in a corrupt system? the killer had asked quietly. it said a lot about his mental schema and his understanding of gaon that he had skipped over accusations of hypocrisy and straight into questions of intent. 

because that’s the system, gaon paused before getting into his car to reply. even if we hate it, that's the system.

whatever the killer was going to say next was cut off by the sound of a truck horn blaring at the intersection. except gaon could hear the sound over the phone too, clear as day.

where are you? he’d demanded but the killer had already cut the line, leaving gaon alone in a sea of faces milling around the courthouse. 

and so the calls had continued to evolve, as gaon used the information the killer provided to track the man down while making it harder for the elite to game the system. he was getting too invested he knew, the longer this clandestine relationship continued. the longer this secret isolated gaon from everyone around him.

‘do you know what i would do to you if i had you in my grasp?’ the killer had asked one evening over the phone. because that’s what it had come to, the killer calling gaon on his home phone, when gaon could count on one hand the number of people who had that number. 

‘kill me?’ gaon replied, picking up the knife.

the killer had scoffed.

‘shake me down for information?’ gaon had guessed, in the midst of preparing dinner. he deftly sliced the mango into thin slices to use as garnishing for his salad.

‘mm, no,’ the killer had replied so placidly that gaon was unprepared for the follow up. ‘i’d put you on top of me so i could eat you out.’

gaon had gasped, knife slipping from his clumsy fingers and clattering loudly in the sink. he hadn’t dropped his cell, however.

‘you’d like that, wouldn’t you?’ the killer had asked, clearly thrilled by that effect. his voice had dipped lower, trailing through the line like fingertips over gaon’s skin. ‘knees on either side of my face. i’d leave stubble burn along your thighs and cheeks.’

gaon’s body had gone tight at the words, tongue thickening in his mouth.

‘you'd go into work the following morning feeling me every time you sat down.’

gaon had turned and pressed back against the kitchen counter, clenching his pelvic muscles, hard. it was crazy. he was crazy. it was dangerous. the combination had been heady, unlocking something that had remained tightly latched inside him ever since his parents died with ferocious want spewing forth. 

‘think about it,’ the killer had continued. ‘you, a pinnacle of justice and dignity in a perfect suit and neat hair. no one would know you’d had me between your thighs the night before.’ he had sounded so unlike himself at that moment, different in a way that gaon couldn’t quite place his finger on and not because gaon had been reaching for the hem of his loose pants to get a hold of his throbbing cock.

‘oh,’ gaon had moaned in quiet relief when he finally got himself in hand, pumping his heated, silky flesh with sticky fingers.

‘kim gaon,’ the killer had said then, and his voice was -- it was affected. this cold killer could be undone by something, could want something other than vengeance and cruelty, and what he wanted was gaon.

gaon had come from that realization alone, eyes squeezed shut and panting softly before he slid to the tiled floor with shaky legs, cataloging the audible hitch over the phone. the speed with which he had become aroused then orgasmed had made him dizzy.

they had crossed some invisible line long ago, but now there was no turning back. staring at the white streaks in his palm, and with the killer still on the line, gaon had been only slightly surprised to find he didn’t care.

and this was the real reason why gaon was running interference on this case. it was why he had led minister cha to believe he was motivated by some misguided attempt to ensure the justice system treated everyone fairly, including suspected killers, in order to conceal his true motivations of pushing for time. because the moment word came down of the killer being apprehended was the moment a clock had started ticking. 

it was only a matter of time before the killer struck again. once he did while juk chang was in custody, it would bring all the heat of the criminal justice system down on him. 

it was only a matter of time before the killer was pulled from the shadows. 

‘i’ve heard a lot about you, kim pansanim,’ judge kang says with all the affability of a new colleague as minister cha moves to her seat. ‘it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.’

gaon’s lips part of their own accord under judge kang’s eyes that miss nothing, including the delicate flush to gaon's cheeks.

because that voice, that’s the voice of gaon’s killer.

[naurtnft]

Pretty Ponzis, # 4, 5 & 6!!

If you haven't already joined the Ponzi Posse, now's the perfect chance! #ToTheMoon

Signs of a ponzi scheme include, but are not limited to: unusually high and/or consistent returns advertised as little-to-no risk, unlicensed sellers/unregistered firms, secretive strategies (often times obscured by the use of buzzwords and long explanations that don't actually mean anything substantial), and difficulty receiving payment or "cashing out"

[Read more about spotting a Ponzi Scheme at investor.gov] [Read more about crypto Ponzi Schemes at investor.gov] [Friend or fraud: Seven ways to spot a Ponzi scheme, and other scams by Michelle Singletary on the Washington Post] [How to Recognize a Ponzi Scheme on Meyer Wilson's investorclaims.com]

[doginprogress]

My ex described Ibizans once as “a bag of elbows” and honestly they weren’t wrong

[broadwaydivastournament]

Audra and Bebe and Bernadette and Christine: The Good Fight

Diane Lockhart:

After slapping the shit out of Julianna Margulies in the series finale of The Good Wife, Diane Lockhart became the star of her own spin-off series The Good Fight. On the eve of her retirement, Diane finds out she's dead broke due to a series of financial schemes perpetrated by friend and client Bernadette Peters' husband (whose name I don't care enough to look up). Following this disastrous turn of events, Diane becomes a partner at a Black Chicago-based firm, and is later upgraded to named partner.

She's also a fashion icon, so jot that down.

Throughout six seasons, staunch-Democrat Diane spends her storylines addressing the social and political climate of the day. She handles cases revolving around fake news and the MeToo movement, briefly joins an underground anarchist group because Katie Finneran tells her to (understandable), gets SWAT-ed, has a few breakdowns, and enjoys the fun of microdosing. In short, she's living her best life.

Liz Reddick:

In the second season, Liz Reddick-Lawrence joins the gang at Reddick, Boseman, & Lockhart. Formerly a U.S. Attorney, and Boseman's ex-wife, she joins the firm following her father's death. Initially, she and Diane get off to a rough start with their professional and personal differences. White name partner, Black firm... You can understand why. They spend the series butting heads as often as holding hands, and when the chips are down, they'll support each other.

Liz, another fashion icon, has a young son, divorces her cop husband, has a romantic liaison with Wayne Brady, has another affair with her ex-husband (and perjures herself when asked about it in court), and fucks a workplace subordinate (a white man, which is the real crime here). She and Diane briefly put aside their fight-of-the-week to lean into the rumor that they're lesbian lovers in order to win a court case. And we didn't even get a fake dating kiss out of it, so if anyone wants to join my class action lawsuit for emotional harm, let me know.

Judge Claudia Friend:

Judges on The Good Fight, often have a fun little schtick that recurs throughout their guest appearances. Judge Claudia Friend is cursed to always preside over cases where the lawyers see fit to bicker like children the entire time. She is...so tired. (Hence why my multi-story saga about this minor character started with her getting absolutely railed over her desk by another judge--as played by Joanna Gleason).

In addition to three appearances in The Good Wife, including Audra McDonald's single guest appearance where they shared a scene, Claudia Friend presides over two episodes/cases in The Good Fight. And I, for one, would have liked more of this exhausted and exasperated judge in my life.

Lenore Rindell:

Mother of early-series protagonist Maia Rindell, Lenore is a co-conspirator of the ponzi scheme that makes Diane flat broke season one. While her husband fucks off to some island to avoid prosecution, Lenore has to stay and face the music. She's also having an affair with her brother-in-law, so there's that.

Okay, sucks for Diane and all that, but take a look at this woman and tell me you wouldn't let her do whatever she wanted? I support women's wrongs, and I really support the costume department putting Bernadette in this pretty little nightie. Anyway, Lenore is eventually prosecuted for her part in the whole financial scheme and her character is written out of the show.

Other Divas who appear on The Good Fight include: Brenda Braxton (Madeline Gilford - 16eps), Andrea Martin (Francesca Lovatelli - 6eps), Mary Testa (Amy Ann Howard - 3eps), Katrina Lenk (Naftali Amato - 3eps), Jayne Houdyshell (Renee Rampling - 2eps), LaChanze (Julius's Wife - 2eps), Carolee Carmello (Judge Eve Sebald - 2 eps), Linda Emond (Judge Leora Kuhn - 1ep), Katie Finneran (Valerie Peyser - 1ep), Judith Light (Deidre Quinn - 1ep), Joanna Gleason (Judge Carmella Romano - 1ep), Kelli O'Hara (Deirdre Kresteva - 1ep), NaTasha Yvette Williams (Juror - 1ep).

Other Divas who appear on The Good Wife include: Mary Beth Peil (Jackie Florrick - 49eps), Anika Noni Rose (Wendy Scott-Carr - 14eps), Vanessa Williams (Courtney Paige - 4eps), Joanna Gleason (Judge Carmella Romano - 3eps), Linda Emond (Judge Leora Kuhn - 3eps), Jan Maxwell (Camilla Vargas - 2eps), Debra Monk (Tracy Mintz - 1ep), Julie White (Selma Krause - 1ep), Susan Blackwell (Professor Jolie - 1ep), Tovah Feldshuh (Lena - 1ep), Karen Ziemba (Lina Banner - 1ep), Ann Harada (Isabel St. Jean -1ep), Donna Murphy (Judge Alice Adelson - 1ep), Victoria Clark (Shannon Janderman - 1ep), Jackie Hoffman (Judge Maria Felletti - 1ep).

And pretty much every other Broadway actor you can think of.

[juanitasupreme]

Remember stayc? Yeah. Anyways stream 1 thing!

Cheeky icy Thang jdjdjjddjdjjdjdjd Now why does it sound like they sampled Apple by Gfriend? The song is interesting but I'm really sure if it's good or bad. The difference in quality between companies where you don't know if it's a ponzi scheme and mid companies is pretty obvious in everything I've heard so far.

[wack-ashimself]

A new way I learned the fuckers entirely FUCK you.

The rich DON'T pay their #taxes. They take out #lifeinsurance policies on themselves (& others) at the MAXIMUM monetary value, accruing interest the whole time, then, taking that money out WHENEVER they want, tax free, in and out. Private savings account exclusively for the rich.

THEN they take out #mortgages on #houses to rent out. Rent out those houses, tax free since mortgaged, use the rent they collect on those houses to pay off the mortgage fees, and any extra income from said rent they use TO GET MORTGAGES ON EVEN MORE HOUSES TO #RENT OUT.

All this is basically #taxexempt since 'they don't officially own it.' But they can CLAIM that as an #investment, making them appear rich. WTF is going on. Our entire #economy is a ponzi scheme.

(and I learned ALL this from the guy doing my interview for a job. I didn't expect to learn something today at an interview, but am I glad I went. Interview went pretty solid too. A job exactly like I wanted.)

[eirinstiva]

Perfect storm

Letter!!! Bertie Wooster sent a letter and I'm already scared because maybe Bingo Little will be here~ Brace yourself, this can get rummy...

Claude and Eustace are so dangerous together, I like that, the image of them doing stupid things like in the manga Please, Jeeves (by Morimura Tamaki and Katsuta Bun) lives rent free in my heart.

I handed this to Jeeves. He studied it thoughtfully. “What do you make of it? A rummy communication, what?” “Very high-spirited young gentlemen, sir, Mr. Claude and Mr. Eustace. Up to some game, I should be disposed to imagine.” “Yes. But what game, do you think?” “It is impossible to say, sir. Did you observe that the letter continues over the page?” “Eh, what?”

Jeeves has Kowalski vibes~

Great pals we’ve always been. In fact, there was a time when I had an idea I was in love with Cynthia. However, it blew over. A dashed pretty and lively and attractive girl, mind you, but full of ideals and all that. I may be wronging her, but I have an idea that she’s the sort of girl who would want a fellow to carve out a career and whatnot.

Bertie has a girl friend, a friend who is a girl, a friend called Cynthia~ that's cute. I really like to read about friendship between people of different gender.

“Young Bingo Little. Great pal of mine. He’s tutoring your brother, you know.” “Good gracious! Is he a friend of yours?” “Rather! Known him all my life.” “Then tell me, Bertie, is he at all weak in the head?” “Weak in the head?” “I don’t mean simply because he’s a friend of yours. But he’s so strange in his manner.”

Well, Cynthia has an opinion™ of Bertie and his friends, but there's a chemistry between them like ex lovers turned into friends, or that weird relationship that some people have this their first boyfriend/girlfriend/idon'tknow that can be so cute and weird at the same time. I love that kind of relationship. Platonic? Maybe, I can't find the words right now.

“Well, you might have let your pals know where you were.” He frowned darkly. “I didn’t want them to know where I was. I wanted to creep away and hide myself. I’ve been through a bad time, Bertie, these last weeks. The sun ceased to shine⁠—”

Bingo is heartbroken and Bertie can't sense that. Read the room, dear Bertie~ but Bingo falls in love so easily that it's not a surprise that he fell in love with Cynthia. The surprise factor is the poetry:

“When Cynthia smiles,” said young Bingo, “the skies are blue; the world takes on a roseate hue: birds in the garden trill and sing, and Joy is king of everything, when Cynthia smiles.” He coughed, changing gears. “When Cynthia frowns⁠—” “What the devil are you talking about?” “I’m reading you my poem. The one I wrote to Cynthia last night. I’ll go on, shall I?”

Let this poor man have his morning tea!

Claude and Eustace are troublemakers with brilliant minds, but instead of to use those brains in solving problems like Jeeves, they try to earn money in a easy way. They could start their own multi-level marketing, Ponzi scheme, or even become gentlemen thieves like Raffles and Bunny (but with two Raffles and no Bunny... unless Bertie is Bunny... anyway~)

“I say, old man,” I couldn’t help saying, “aren’t you looking ahead rather far?” “Oh, that’s all right. It’s true nothing’s actually settled yet, but she practically told me the other day she was fond of me.” “What!” “Well, she said that the sort of man she liked was the self-reliant, manly man with strength, good looks, character, ambition, and initiative.” “Leave me, laddie,” I said. “Leave me to my fried egg.”

So we have a possible romance between Bingo and Cynthia, some plan of the mischievous twins, and Jeeves is interested in this deal... Is this the recipe for a perfect storm? Let's see in the next letter. Pip-pip!

[frogblast-the-ventcore]

I had a character I rolled up for D20 Call of Cthulhu that I later got to play in Monster or the Week. I decided that since there was an enemy who could automatically eat 1d12 player characters per round the best stat for her was running speed, she was a former track athlete and wanted nothing to do with the otherworldly beings following her around.

Excellent. A winning strategy. My players (current and former) have, near universally, adopted a separate strategy for survival: Date and/or marry the monsters. We have two PCs who are romancing serpentfolk exclusively (one is an intersex FBI agent who terrifies Hoover by her sheer scaly presence; the other a Sicilian mafia member who is simultaneously both Just A Guy™ and John Wick). One PC (who is the to-the-nth-power grandson of Conan the Barbarian, and the child of the deerheaded Elder Goddess Yhoundeh, and her human priestess; thus being a stepson of Nyarlathotep) is married to a hunting horror and dating a giant crocodile man. One of the PCs (a former PC at this point) is in a polycule with four serpentfolk, a werewolf and a werepanther. And has dated other serpentfolk in the past and slept with a Dchichi and a Type III Deep One ("the pretty ones", that I borrowed from the Laundry Files). Said PC also permanently polymorphed into a serpentperson herself. Another temporary PC (still around as a NPC) is married to (and has a child with) the serpentfolk leader of a cult that's basically a Ponzi scheme. Yet another temporary PC (their player left) became romantically involved with Yhoundeh, Nyarlathotep and Randolph Carter (yes that one). The remaining PCs are too new to have gotten into the shenanigans yet.