#pressure from the university
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sigh.
#this last weekend was so bad#my master thesis is due to be registered in the next two weeks#and i'm not nearly done with all the research i have to do for my topic#i feel like such a failure#and logically i KNOW that what i want to write about works and that i can easily fill the 100 pages i'm supposed to write#but i can't fucking concentrate#and all this pressure is literally breaking me#pressure from the university#pressure from my parents#and unintended pressure from my friends bcs i'm the first in my group to start writing the thesis#and they think i'm in so much control and i have my life in order#i'm just terrified of everything that can go wrong and at this point it's just panic attack after panic attack#just thinking about the working process leaves me crying and hyperventilating#and health care for mental issues is so bad in my country#you either have to pay hundreds of euros for a session or wait up to 14 months for an appointment#i'm just over here spiraling#and uni is once again sucking the joy out of the things that i love#i'm supposed to love history#it's the only thing i'm really good at#but at this point it only makes me cry#i just want it all to be over
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it remains extremely funny to me that freddie wong accidentally (?) made Dan Fucks, embodiment of pleasure, so distinctly ace-coded. like, Dan talks a big game about sex and seems to view it as interesting and desirable, but when presented with such an obvious in for it he completely ignored Avaricci's come-ons to just talk about non-sexual pleasures like goddamn cold pillows. he's not paying attention to sex at all when it's not personally convenient or expected of him to do so.
100% Elias is ace and just doesn't realize people genuinely crave sex and it's not a metaphor or exaggeration like it is for him yet. bless him.
#mentopolis#and thats that from a local ace#i say ''accidentally'' since ofc i dont know freddie's thought process#most likely he was just trying to avoid getting too outright crude on the show#or thought going on about pillows and haircuts would be the funnier option than playing the horniness straight#but in-universe it paints him as only vaguely invested in actually achieving the goal of having sex#which means elias doesnt really care that much about sex#outside of cultural pressure to have it and its status as an easy in-road to physical contact#which he does desperately crave#plus its known that ace people are the most willing to make a joke out of sex lmao
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Distracting myself by drawing someone being distracted.
#distract-ception#He's using a mirror to look at himself because I can't draw a hand holding a phone#SU#connverse#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#my shiz#Also turned down the pen autocorrection to 7 instead of my normal 17.#Aside from some small outline inconsistency there really isn't much pressure sensitivy with the Veikk tablet#Unless I'm doing something wrong in the settings#But it's really really cheap and it works fine if you don't rely on the sensitivity pressure so I'm not complaining at ll#SU fanart#Steven Universe#Steven Universe fanart#skedoobles
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they made him study a lot, train, not sleep, and didn’t give him any glasses . It was immediately hell on ice
#along with the whole but you’re special ! you can do it !❤️ pet pet#there are several moments where he is convinced he is going to die and no one takes him seriously#aether has the toxic trait of being overly positive. most complaints from grian ate met with but you can handle it ! you’re stronger !#you’re special. you were chosen by the universe. no one else is like you. better than other players-#and while it can brush his ego sometimes that’s not important !!!!#hearing an angel call you important can be pretty funky to the brain#anyway it takes awhile for him to learn the enchantment for his eyes so he struggles for a bit#i think all this pressure and harsh treatment turns him into a monster#by that I mean ridiculous. powerful. way too fast flying. he’s quick on his feet. his reaction time#they’re strict when he first joins. but lightens up after his first breakdown. mess with his emotional state a little bit#it’s pretty nice for awhile tbh at that point. stable.#still no autonomy tho 🤷♀️ still rules. but better. (their goal)
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lesbian masterdoc and the unforgivable damage of making people hear compulsory heterosexuality and think of "can lesbians have crushes on men?" (no) instead of "are heterosexual women settling in unhappy marriages with men bellow their worth because of economic and social pressure?" (yes)
#not claiming the theory was without flaws but it sure didn't describe some virus mental affliction that exclusively plagues lesbians#for starters the theory was primarily about marriage. so it did recognise the historical fact of lesbians forced into marriage to avoid#honor killings and the still present possibility and threats especially when it comes to cults and strong religions#(once again mentioning as a Jeová's witness in a brazilian periphery my girlfriend accepted the tool of losing her entire family and social#circles to reject an arranged marriage at the age of 17. and she's bisexual. but THAT is what compulsory heterosexuality alludes to)#but more often than not when it addressed lesbians it was as the inherent threat they pose to heteropatriarchy#that they mere existence proved women were not all born to serve men. and that their lives often proved women are much happier and#accomplished when away from the burden of men.#and this acknowledging just how much loneliness was a reality through lesbian's experiences#at the same time I can understand the frustration of that feminist theory being reduced to 'comphet is when lesbians in high school were#pressured into picking one of the Backstreet Boys to lie about finding attractive'. and even more so when that non universal and much less#serious example somehow morphed into 'comphet is when bisexual women either lying or confused about being lesbians have sex with men and#find it unfulfilling' because accepting that narrative erases and harms lesbians#so I understand the 'comphet isn't real' posts especially because written like that it tends to refer to lesbian masterdoc and following#fiasco. but at the same time that wasn't the original intent of compulsory heterosexuality the actual feminist term#this is just me complaining about how social media butchers theory tho unless they are specifically naming Rich and the many other feminist#who wrote about heterosexual marriage as an institution I won't bother lesbians for venting frustration about neoliberal erasure of lesbian#the original theory sure didn't claim lesbians were immune to all this misogynistic violence but the term was never exclusively about them#and tended to ask more of 'where do we stand as women and feminists as a group much more interested in destroying heterosexual marriage than#simply making it more bearable?'#this got a little messy and senseless I'm tired#.txt
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Leaf's Ranma AU - Character Profile Uzumaki Saotome Tendo Ranma
Born around ten years after the destruction of Uzushiogakure at the conclusion of the Second Shinobi World War, to Uzumaki Nodoka and Saotome Genma, Uzumaki Ranma has been denied a permanent home since before they were born. To add to that, ever since they could walk, Ranma has been separated from their mother, taken on a more than a decade long training journey by their father.
While not officially a missing-nin, they spent most of their life on the move through elemental nations, only staying in smaller villages and taking odd missions with their father Genma. Their talent for taijutsu has earned them an entry in the bingo books as a footnote under Saotome Genma’s page as Saotome Ranma.
Known mission history includes a whole heap of D-ranks, a handful C-ranks and one B-rank that had Ranma facing off against the shinobi of Nadeshiko Village.
A training accident while trying to learn a Tanuki Transformation Technique at age six has barred Ranma from signing their name on the Tanuki summoning contract belonging to their father Genma, and messed up their proficiency in other transformation techniques, including the regular transformation jutsu.
It’s not known if Ranma has succeeded in signing any other summoning contracts, but Genma has reportedly been asking about the location of the Cat summoning contract since Ranma was eight years old and has stopped the inquiries after a visit to Nekomata Fortress.
Current place of residence - Konoha. Ranma has officially joined the Tendo Clan (engaged to Tendo Akane) and was given a rank of genin following a short evaluation of their skills in the academy, making them officially a shinobi of the Leaf.
Currently part of Team Yamato (also known as Team Four), with Hibiki Ryoga and Tendo Akane as their teammates. The newly minted team is yet to take their first mission.
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Art by the wonderful @beedokart 💙💙💙 See also https://linktr.ee/fernvbedek. I'll eventually ask her to draw all of the team four, be patient 💙 For Ryoga Hibiki, look here. And - Tendo Akane
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This has been a draft of Tendo Ranma's profile for the Merger AU in which I have transplanted a handful of Ranma characters into Naruto (Dreaming of Sunshine) universe. I suspect that the knowledge of Dreaming of Sunshine is not gonna be needed, but I didn't wanna remove Shikako from the setting, since she's very dear to my heart. 💙 Leaf's Ranma... coming to an archive of our own... someday in the future.
This is part of a larger effort to showcase more of my writing, and an attempt to force myself to sit down and write. 💙
#Leaf's Ranma AU#ranma ½#naruto#naruto fanfiction#dreaming of sunshine#crossover#ranma saotome#ranma tendo#fanfic art#alternate universe#yes - these characters have always been a part of Narutoverse in this AU - leading to different upbringing and different skillsets#powerbalancing is gonna be hard and weird#ranma is supposed to be a prodigy#but does that matter in the settings with the like of itachi running around?#ranma is basically genderfluid in this one#but they have also been under pressure from Genma to be a boy
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Euthanization. Betrayal
They make me SICK!!!1!1!!1! I WANT THEM TO SUFFER !!!!!
Textless version and yapping under cut
Okay so this is an au I've been just tumbling around in my brain of my pressure oc whenever I get bored where he becomes part of the good people and supremely angsty shit happens between him and painter constantly. I'm too tired to type out and explain stuff rn so I'm just gonna put some of my previous yappings from my dms in (they're kinda old they're from like a week or two ago)
#ive made it my life goal that every single time that i think about them and react in public i force them to go through more suffering#good people pressure#pressure oc#pressure roblox#painter pressure#oc x canon#artistic nudity#god the perspective on the turret fucking killed me#why are there BARELY ANY HIGH QUALITY PHOTOS OF THE TURRETS#AND WHY ARE THEY ONLY FROM THE SIDE#WHAT DOES THE BACK OF THE TURRET LOOK LIKE??? IDFK#AGHHHHHH#theyre still okay in their regular universe btw. they only go through the normal amount of pain and suffering there. but they get a nice#daily dose of sunshine and rainbows every once in a while too when the stars align and i feel like it
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What
My last research told me that the guy from the floor under me wants to send me to jail
How much money is that information worth
"..what. no not- ugh. Not random research- data from your expedition?? The data you've been-don't tell me you haven't been collecting any.."
#he doesn't know the people here can be from other universes 😔#sebastian solace#pressure roblox#pressure#roblox pressure#ask#Sebastian answers
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
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Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.
One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.
Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.
Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.
Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)
I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.
I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.
I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?
The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.
It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.
The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.
I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.
You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.
Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.
We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?
I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?
If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?
This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x
#i think in essence what i'm trying to say is that#some things are true in a microcosm but you cannot make a universal application for them bc the microcosm isn't representative of the whole#and it is dangerous to assume that it is or that it can be bc you're erasing the bigger picture when you do that#it would be like a poc saying they never felt the pressure of skin-lightening creams which is amazing but it doesnt change the fact that a#whole industry exists selling skin-lightening products BECAUSE there is a demand for them and that demand exists BECAUSE there is an#expectation that they SHOULD be used and this is because there is a belief that lighter skin = more beautiful. regardless of how messed up#and damaging that logic is that doesn't mean it doesn't exist in the world#and therefore those industries exist to maintain that belief because that belief is what drives their purpose and their profits#and we are doing no favours to the countless poc who DO feel pressured to subject their skins to these products or who come away with#a deeply damaged sense of self-worth (not to mention the internalised racism that's behind these beliefs) bc of constantly being told they#are less than for being darker than a paper bag which is RIDICULOUS#saying its all down to choice is not far off from saying you can CHOOSE to not be affected by the pressure but like....that's just not true#you can't choose to not be the recipient of colorism any more than you can choose to not be the recipient of sexism. and its putting a huge#amount of pressure and responsibility for an individual to just not be affected by deeply ingrained societal pressures and expectations whe#what we SHOULD be doing is actually tackling those expectations and pressures instead#they are leaving these systems intact to continue the damage that they do by making everything about what you as an individual think and#believe but while we all ARE individuals we dont live in separate bubbles. we are part of and IN this world together. and it acts on us as#much as we act on it. but like.....i think i've gone on enough already#ask#anonymous
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i haven't played the raveyard yet (but i want to.) but i have seen all the shit going down about the haunt and whatever and i just wanna say i'm so furious on behalf of the pressure devs. like imagine getting a month deadline with no guidelines to make a halloween event and then getting told last minute "um its a costume contest lol" so you rushed and released a buggy, unfinished mess to meet a deadline for nothing
like holy shit what an absolute shitshow. fuck roblox. looking forward to playing raveyard once they have a chance to bugfix it
#jibber jabber#not tickles#i saw the bugfix roadmap so im just gonna wait until i get back from my trip#since they said it wasnt going anywhere#i just. jesus christ#it feels like the universe is so against the pressure team sometimes i genuinely feel so bad for them#everything from general drama to leaking and now this garbage#theyre troopers fr
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Human Vincent might be a daredevil, but he's still human. His unrepentant nature and tendency to run into things out of his depth doesn't bode too well for him either.
Honestly after the first five or so lines Bird Vince started feeling impressed. This did not quell his aggression, however.
#devarambles#vincenttag#original character#oc tag#oc comic#vincent is so odd to draw for me#I wanted to make Huvincent's head beet red from the pressure but realized at least one person would mistake it for blushing self-ship style#See the thing about vincent- and this is universal- is that he doesn't back down when things are about to screw him over *bad*#instead he doubles down. why? pride? getting the last say? being the one that couldn't be silenced? masochism? it's uncertain.#I think this is the first time I drew vincent's back. I'm happy with how the mantle of feathers came out- his are thin and pointed#whereas seras are more rounded to a softer point#magnus has angular feathers.#vincent has certainly heard worse than these. Its not the end of the world- plus he's vibing and uninjured to hear them. go ahead.#he might also feel less inclined to be too reactive when this bug of a human is trying to get under his skin#These tactics dont work if I do them every day yadda yadda#I actually managed to draw the cauliflower ear this time#ark_systema
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Im doing a lot of thinking abt why roleplaying feels different/less natural for me in beastlife s4 in comparison to s3, and i think it’s because there’s ways i know i should be feeling (based on the perception of my character— when i was fresh out of s2 nobody knew enough about my guy to have opinions) vs how i am feeling. I’m catching myself thinking, “it wouldn’t make sense for my character to [blank],” and it’s like… what do i mean by that. what do i mean that this feeling im having in-session “wouldnt make sense for my character” to feel? It might be surprising to other beasts who know me for one thing and expect consistency, i guess?? but in s3 i just acted on feelings and then shit happened. what. why am i trying to enforce a character that does not exist when the strength of mcrp lies in its improvisational nature. I didn’t write this guy on purpose, why am i trying to write him now
#i suppose its both the perception + higher investment from myself#I care about this story greatly now#and want it to be “good”. But there’s only so much control i have over that#Its not my job to break down the themes of the narrative and try my best to make it cohesive im here to play games and dramatics#My favorite mcrp narratives werent written on purpose. they literally just happened naturally#Imagine if i went into elysium after death thinking “how do i properly conclude my character arc”#And not “This will probably land us a conclusion. lets ball”#I think there’s also more pressure because my character is universally seen as a bad guy now so im like. ohh#What if i make him too sympathetic on accident and everyone thinks im weird irl about it#Bitch youre roleplaying with cubes. who give a fuck……#sorry for posting like you people know what im talking about btw#But i also just think mcrp is rlly interesting#beastlife#<- i guess. I use it as an organizational tag but its funny that there’s a “maintag” now#Still using it for organization though idgaf#Unrelated but I got a good scott ask earlier today in my drafts that i just remembered#The forgetter#Ftr i think its good to be somewhat narratively aware but the way i typically do it is in an entertainer sense#and not a serious serious mode writing sense. i am much more comfortable with one of these over the other#which would be why playing s4 feels a bit unnatural for me at times#not to say people who do go into mcrp with this mindset are like. wrong. it just does not work for me i think
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New theory: at least one of Kotoko's parents is a police officer and she (and her brother most likely) were trained to become police officers themselves.
#HEAR ME OUT#so many things fit together when you think of it like this#Her mindset is exactly like cop mindset and it would make sense for it to be something she was trained into from childhood#She has been taking martial arts lessons from a young age using protection as a reason#Her parents would have had to allowed her to take them. What of they were the ones who set her up for them in the first place?#It would explain how she became Like This with the no persecution thing being true#She didn't go through an event that make her like this. She was taught to be this way#Well you could argue having cop parents and being pressured from a young age is traumatising in itself but I digress#It's the kind of trauma most wouldn't really recognise as such because it's common and not very extreme#She goes to a prestigious university which likely cost a lot in tuition. Her family would need to provide for it. Likely made her go into i#Which would mean she was probably ostracised from her family once she was sent to court and had to drop out#Because a good cop shild would not do this#This would also make her foil Kazui because they had similar childhoods#But one stepped into it a bit too well while the other wasn't ever able to truly fit in#milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#everyone needs to see my vision
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Douglas knew, on some level, it was going to be like this: he was there mostly for Carolyn’s sake, Martin and Theresa having sent their well-wishes along with regrets that they couldn’t make the wedding, and God knew he had all sorts of complex feelings about the whole thing. It was good to see his friend and her son find their own closure, he’d never deny that—he’d spent years at their side, had some idea of what they’d been through, and it was a happy day—but he hadn’t expected, well—
The old friend from Air England was much better at all this than Douglas had ever, ever expected him to be.
(extract from WIP: Per finita lietamente, e all’usanza teatrale. drawing prompt from @sircarolyn way back in january: ‘douglas staring longingly at herc and linda’)
#cabin pressure#em draws#herc shipwright#linda fairbairn#douglas richardson#dragging myself out of the abyss. yeah i’m writing the hercolyn wedding fic. yeah the title is from nozze.#linda fairbairn extended universe#and very tangentially vrcu.
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I have a question about modern fcc. Why you insist on Myrah being a baby machine? Like you said maybe 2 years ago that she is much more than just a mother so why you write her as such that only when she popped up 4 babies (and wants to have 5 one because she has middle age crisis and wants to be 20 again) she is worth something? If they had only Baelor it'd be alright, her worth doesn't depend on whether she births 10 children for targ dynasty lolll
I was thinking about just blocking you (like I’ve done for most if not all the ignorant frankly delusional people I get in my inbox) but I actually want to show people why I genuinely dislike writing for this fandom now. Not saying my writing is perfect or I haven’t made mistakes bc I know I have but like really…. Is this necessary???
#‘middle age crisis and wants to be twenty again’#I really need to know if people are born this obtuse or if it something that has to be worked at#like it would be one thing to have this conversation in the actually fcc universe#and the societal pressure she feels to have children#(newsflash: a pressure that exist NOW)#but I write about their family unit?? about hers with her family and her interacting with Aemond’s#I’ve written about her and Rhaenyra bonding over Viserys being sick and her and Alicent/hel being friends#I’ve written about her and Aemond breaking up bc of how fast things are going#if all you took from all the stuff I’ve written is her being a baby machine… maybe that’s your lack of literacy babe#it’s funny bc asks like this remind me of the ‘why are people looking at Alicent’s decisions through the lense of her kids?#bc she’s their mother… the mother of the king and queen…. yes motherhood is a part of her story sorry to break it to you#I’ll probably delete this bc I don’t like negative shit on my page and I get far more love than weirdos but really….#if you genuinely don’t like it I’m sorry but just don’t read it????#this ask is even crazier when you realize I haven’t written anything for modern fcc in MONTHS#were you just sitting on this and decided to wake up on a Sunday to be mean? couldn’t be me
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