#pre stayed gone
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Velvette: Breathe, darling, just breathe. Vox, sobbing: I've done nothing with my life! I'm a failure! Alastor: Well that's never bothered you before.
#hazbin hotel#incorrect quotes#hazbin hotel incorrect quotes#radiostatic#staticlovetune#vox#vox the tv demon#alastor#alastor the radio demon#velvette#hazbin hotel velvette#vox embarrassing himself in an overlord meeting yet again#i think i created a bit of fandom trope#he's probably drunk#never mind he's definitely drunk#this is literally canon#it should've happened at some point#pre stayed gone#but i can also see the exact same convo happening post stayed gone#Vox when he can't make himself throw out the Alastor body pillow#The tags from my wretched mind are getting worse and worse
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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Here’s a question, if Papyrus where to be refused to all of Wing Ding’s fragments and retain his memories (despite how impossible it would be), would he be Wing Ding with all of Papyrus’s memories, or Papyrus with all of Wing Ding’s
Aka if Steven Universe/Dragon Ball fused would it be Pap or WG?
He would remain more Papyrus :] !!
Papyrus with Wingdings memories
Papyrus is someone who we could say is a natural progression towards something better
With a desire to better himself and also one of helping others better themselves
Of course he struggles and has a long way to go in lots of areas, but he's not giving up on himself or anyone else
It would be weird to make a character like that reverse to an old identity, someone who just ended up destroying himself (both metaphorically and physically)
So he would definitely stay Papyrus
#also#Wingdings is like very dead metaphorically#he... uh... metaphorically died when he became an omnipresent being#so#yeah he's like yeah that part of him is not I mean I don't think anyone can stay true to themselves as an omnipresent being#i think you would lose your idea of self#papyrus is very self in a confused way but at least he is self and not not self#yeahhhhhhhh#that's why I always talk about pre-accident Wingdings “Wingdings” and post-accident “Gaster” I feel like Gaster is that other part#Wingdings is practically gone it's all Gaster now#man this is such a good ask because it's gonna be fundamental to some ideas I want to explore in this au and aahhh#answered ask#forgettable-au#undertale au
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i will miss the block party outfits for everyone tbh lol
#vee queued to fill the void#am i surprised they’re gone???? no not at all lmao#didn’t even necessarily want them to stay lol just they will be missed lol#with retrospect now you get to analyse what the outfits meant for the character in that specific block party instance lol#like kuukou's darker colours for the block party lends itself to kuukou primarily making things happen behind the scenes#and maybe could also be indicative of a scene that brought kuukou closer to or flat or embodied who he wants to become#or in the shadows so to say lol#since the outfit is his most inline monk fit yet lol#and maybe with ichiro since he’s back in black and red similar to his pre bb days#he isn’t so aimless as he was back then but he’s still in the dark about family stuff like he was back then#and with that lack of knowledge he confronts rei who lured him his way just similarly to what happened in the manga#still turns rei down lol but has proven something to rei this time but i’m kinda digressing lol but that kinda retrospect analysis lol
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wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.
#vent#for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode#like constantly#from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived#to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week#and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally#not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic#and now someone died in my family#not someone very close but i liked them#and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing#because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter#so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with#because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter..#i'd just want a week where nothing happens#and like the writing is weighing heavy on me#because i miss it#also i wish i could finish something#i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off#also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit#i bought new furniture#because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly#which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself#just because i was too burnt out to write#and i wanted something nice to happen to me#like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice#and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns#and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken#because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid#yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job#long pathetic whine and overshare over
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tbqh it's weird as hell to me that there's this given understanding about fictional aliens that they'd be surprised or confused by adaptability, but like, as far as we know and understand that is a fundamental quality of life itself not life on earth. In order to become a spacefaring species any spacefaring alien would've had to survive whatever space threw at them for billions of years as well as whatever their planet in specific threw at them, even the 'good' planet we know about is pretty fucking hostile to life. It's just implausible to me that like, among all the possible sapient species we'd be unique or interesting for the level to which we have the ability to adapt to situations, something that any biological creature of any origin would also need to survive long enough as a species to figure out how space works.
#I mean I also understand this is a common way to frame the mundane as interesting by stripping the normalcy of it#IDK I think the 'humans as space orcs' meta has gone too far#Like it's fine to examine humanity through that lens I think it's good to examine things like that#But then when you give that lens its own actual life you need to think a bit more for it to stay coherent#In many cases I think it completely ignores that it's making sweeping implications about non-human intelligences#In ways that just don't fucking make any sense#IMO at least#IDK I'm not positive I'm saying this in a way that makes sense but I'm right#What I'm saying is the parts of those posts that're like 'this is a neat thing about humans' are good and cool IMO#but the parts that are like 'and therefore an alien intelligence would find it impossible to comprehend' are weird and bad#Just seems like a really self-satisified way of looking at ourselves#Like you really think that no other alien species might IDK have a few instincts left over from the pre-sapience days?#They all just sprung from the stars fully formed beings of pure reason and science?#Just us we're the only cool ones in the whole fuckin galaxy huh
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Thing about small italian villages is that the didnt really have roads up until the 70's which of course leads to a massive amount of cousin marriage and inbreeding and while yes my particular own has its issues regarding that (3 major families (one of whom i am part of!!! Yay!!!) that all of the other families are related to, everyone there has bone/joint problems or some sort of schizofrenia) the neighboring one is worse as in they have one major family and the rest of the inhabitants are ppl who immigrated to have a quiet life in the mountain slopes and that by itself could be an extremely interesting study bcs everyone there kinda looks the same-ish and has a frankly insane amount of people with developmental disabilities for a population this small
#ok now that i have typed it out i realized it sounds mean and i want to earnestly say that i am not mocking them i just suck at tone#i do not think its something to be laughed at i just think the whole thing is uh. i wouldnt say tragic but really no one's fault#bcs again. if you live in the mountains where the main city is hard to reach bcs of poor road conditions#which leads to isolation and also extreme stigma against the village folk *of course* the village#will become more secluded and incestuous marriages will happen (aside from the obv economical factor#that a pre industrial reality would entrail)#its just. fascinating on a sociological and genetical level. esp since by when the roads were functional#and the village folk stigma had already gone away the whole 'we stay here we stay together we are better than anyone bcs they are envious#of us and we will continue inbreeding and any kids with severe disabilities born from it are actually Blessed because they are born from us#has already taken so much root it is now unlikely to be eradicated . the nature of italian villages is that every once in a while#someone reinvents blood purity and eugenetics lmao#anyways this whole incest thing is also the reason why i get frustrated about those books that have#the main characters go into small bigoted villages and either finding peace there or be horrified by its conservatives ideas#while never digging on the *why*. like yeah all this 'what happens in the village stays in the village and everyone else is an enemy'#but they never dig into why that mentality was born to begin with and how incest there#actively helps this mentality to continue on like you legit still have grandmas telling you to marry ur cousin#anw. i dont know what i was going for w this rant. it originated from knowing that my aunt turned local saint#was actually schizophrenic and was prone to paranoid attacks and mental breakdowns similar to mine#fun stuff!
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grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again
#in regards both to my cat and my grandma though i was mostly thinking about my grandma when i wrote this#i was fine the next day after she died bc like. it was expected. she was in hospice for several months#and a nurse had been staying with her 24/7 for the last 2 days. the nurse told us it probably wouldnt be long on the last day.#we knew it was coming so i didnt feel too bad right after it happened. it was only when the mortician showed up that it sunk in#but the next day i was fine. if she got brought up in conversation id get a bit sad but i was mostly fine after that day#and its been. like. a little more than 3 months since then#i havent been thinking about it much but idk. sometimes it just pops into your head and you get reminded that she isnt here anymore#sometimes i still feel like shes still there when i walk into that room. it still partially smells the same#i turn on the light and feel like im somewhere im not supposed to be until i realize that we cleared out her stuff months ato#you wouldnt know that someone was bedridden and in hospice in there just from looking at it#but sometimes i just get that mental image of her being in there. or when she was in a nursing facility for a time and mostly normal#when we thought she was just almost septic and not nearing the end#the stupid doorbell we had her ring when she needed something that made us all jump whenever we heard a similar sound#the fact that the last blanket she ever started crocheting is still in that room and never finished#her rocking chair that has been sitting empty for probably over a year now#the haunted lamp in what used to be her bedroom pre-hospice that keeps turning on#the fact that her cars no longer in the driveway#idk. thinking about it doesnt like. actively make me cry or anything. but it is like. a lurking feeling#like ive been aware and fine with the fact that shes gone. and has been gone#but sometimes i really... remember that shes gone#i still forget that its like. a permanent thing and that shes not just in the hospital again#i wouldnt say i feel too much grief about her dying. i feel more about my cat that died 8 years ago.#but it is a weird feeling to recognize. maybe i only felt sadder about my cat bc (to me) it was unexpected#idk.
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Finally discovered a job that asked for a degree in political science. Also requires three years of experience in negotiating government contracts.
#chit chat#this is called 'maybe i should have gone with the pre-law polisci track after all'#you know if i had stayed in school i could have been a lawyer by now#i don't need my parents to tell me things like this i have that classic american dad to rocknroll son already in my head at all times#you should be making a career out of your talents you should have gotten a law degree stop wasting time on that guitar etc#you could have had it all and instead you're wasting your potential!#and whatever else they all say in those movies from the 80s
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man, i’m still kinda in awe of how mid DoN was, and how much the audience sucked
(though still have to give them some cred for coming alive for jade v taya v kris, and the turtleneck chants)
#like i'm trying to envision a version of this evening where the event is exactly the same but the audience is on fire like#would any of the okay matches have popped more if at least the audience had been on board and offered more energy#but i mean - i'm also trying to envision an alternative timeline where the booking was way better i'm just like#this might be the first time i've watched a aew ppv and gone 'bro -- i paid money for this'#thank god i live in europe and ppvs are cheap as fuck#like towards the final two hours i just kept turning to my friend like#'i'm going to need you to set up a twitter livestream so i can slit my throat in protest of this mess'#also did i stay up and watch the fucking scrum after that mess?? OF COURSE i fucking did#cm punk deserves a raise for making the scrums vital to the aew experience#ANYWAY great tbs championship event a real shame about the pre-show sucking so hard#tho i did have fun with the battle royale and i refuse to hate on christian cage like#that ladder match would've been alright on dynamite#also christian should've won#fucking cowards
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ppl will preach the importance of media literacy and then act as if saber lily is a child but castoria is a-ok for sexualization
#while 'lily' has evolved to be an indicator of childhood takeuchi has gone on record saying that she was more like salter in that#she's an alternate saber that stayed 'pure' idealistically. which means her age is the same as saber and salter's#(or at least Was pre-fgo. jusssst in case fgo decided to change things up while i wasn't looking)#meanwhile like. castoria is conspicuously the youngest saber babes. look at how she's drawn + how she acts. that's a kid#romeo.txt#this isn't me coming out as like. a saber lily fucker or w/e but moreso just disbelief abt how these two got flipped around#like saber lily ig it's easy to assume her whole thing is the same as any other lily but castoria? rlly?
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I had Spider-Man 2 mailed to my house when I pre-ordered it and it hasn't arrived yet so I've just been spending my entire day dodging spoilery Youtube thumbnails like Tobey Maguire dodging Green Goblin's razor bats in slo-mo in that one scene.
#honestly i need to stop having games mailed to my house when i pre-order them cause it just makes it stressful to wait for them#like it just makes me nervous that they're just not gonna show up#even though that hasn't happened yet like i did the same thing with jedi survivor and mortal kombat 1 and they both arrived on the day#so like this one shouldn't be any different. ideally.#yet i get nervous about it anyway#i think part of it is these last few weeks in general have been incredibly stressful#two of the jobs i applied for got back to me at around the same time#and i gotta pick which one i wanna go forward with but i don't wanna burn bridges with either of them#so i'm basically just stringing them both along until i can pick one#and i'm still doing the online graphic design course but all the job shit is making it hard to stay caught up with that#AND i got a transaction notification for something i didn't purchase so i had to deactivate my credit card and get a new one#idk who got my credit card information or how or if i can get that money back but hopefully it doesn't happen again#basically i just need this damn game to get here on time so i'll have one less thing stressing me out#also another reason i need to stop having these games mailed to me is they always arrive in the afternoon#abd modern games take fucking forever to download onto the console#so even when you get them on the release day you gotta wait a billion hours to start playing#so when they arrive in the afternoon it basically means they won't finish downloading until well past midnight#so basically you judt gotta let it download overnight while you sleep and start it the next day#so yeah after this i should probably just go back to picking uo pre-orders at the store#especially when i get an apartment i wouldn't want the mail person just setting a $70 game on the floor outside my apartment while i'm gone#shut up tristan
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Accidentally got possessed by Sapphos and now I'm planning every detail of how and where and when to propose to my lover, of braiding daisies and lavender into her hair as we lay side by side in an open field, penning an entire book of poems dedicated to her to hand her alongside the ring, singing aloud the words she inspired forth through my pen to her as the stars twinkle overhead
#cat rambles#wifey posts#It's not even meant to be a real proposal#we've gone on for ages about getting each other promise rings and pre-proposing to each other#Being “engaged-to-be-engaged”#then we start looking at rings for each other and suddenly I blacked out possessed by the spirt of lesbianism#And now my rings wishlist on etsy has over 100 rings saved to it#She only has ten fingers she can't wear 100 rings#I just meant to find something simple and pretty to symbolize our promise to stay together#But now it's become much more of a Thing than I was thinking it would be
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Literally everyone when I was pre-T: going on testosterone will make you physically unable to cry, and your emotions will be flat and dull
Me, two years on T and outright bawling as I finish the intro to the new Zelda game, followed by more sobbing while listening to a new song released by my favorite band:
#i cry so much now LOL#i always cry while watching The Sixth Sense but when I was pre-T I only cried at certain parts#I legit started watching the opening last week and immediately began weeping#I cry at the slightest provocation now 😎😎 100% a crybaby no shame#m.txt#say one word and I will turn into a human faucet. you wish you were me#i am crying as i type this because i have the opposite of dry eye which means i do not need to blink at all. my eyes stay wet#i have gone 2+ hours without blinking before with zero discomfort#when i lay down tears start streaming down the sides of my face
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Sigh I really hope that’s the end of it. I just want to be able to post on here without worrying about my ex. Apologies to friends that may have to witness the tags below
#so much for that pre law degree#can’t even stop yourself from doing the dumb shit like check on me because you can’t let me go.#you can front all you want#I was the one that got away in the end and it feels so good to know that you can’t help yourself#you either want my attention or miss having control over me#being able to freely verbally abuse me whenever you wish.#why do you think I was gone all those times?#I could care less what you were doing away from me.#I could’ve been sleeping in my car on the side of the road#but it didn’t matter because I was away from you#you are nothing but words written on a page that isn’t even worth a name#it’s weird huh. I’m supposed to be hung up on my ex aren’t I?#I mean this only works for you if it’s what you expect#like no one in the last 3 years of my life knows who you are#and that’s how I want it#don’t get me wrong I do wish you the best#but you have no power over me#be thankful I deadname you. we aren’t personal nor are we friends.#and if I show up to your bar? stay behind that counter and pour my drinks. I’m there for me#not you#so take your couple of minutes to gather yourself up in the bathroom or kitchen and get back to work.#how do you fall for the same shit twice?#that little murdurous intent coming out again?#awww does the little angry ex want to hurt me again? 😩#months later and you still check on this#YEARS later and you still check on this.#wishing I was in the hospital with a tourniquet#couldn’t even be thankful for your second chance at life from that crash#you need multiple people in your relationship to validate your feelings.#I need no one to validate my life and how I’m living
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:/ why
#the bin#i feel stomach sick. could my body not have let me know earlier?#hhhh. its fine its fine its fine#i hope its gone tomorrow bc i really dont wanna do a shift with this feeling#i hope its just anxiety related and not illness.#if i coulds known by like 9pm i coulda called out but nooooo. its gotta be fuckibg midnight that it tells me#people have been sick a lot recently so its not surprising if i am sick. but it also means its harder to get shifts covered#im supposed to stay an extra hour tomorrow bc someone is sick. hhhh. well. its probably nothing and ill be fine#if not then. it is what it is. i dont wanna call out bc i needs the hours so i can take some pre planned time off#bleh i feel so sick tho :/
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