#posting this on the bus to work because i have a feeling today's gonna be a busy one

[inked-out-trees]

CHAPTER 3: NON-CONSENSUAL MAGNETISM

Teenage Chris Bean decides he's quite done with life. Fifteen years later, life decides it's not quite done with him.

[hwaslayer]

love you in slow motion (psh) | two.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡

—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, the warmth of the sun on a winter day. because to him, you’re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.

—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 7.3k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, alcohol consumption and intoxication, some drunk crying lol, yacking, lil inkling of jealousy, overthinking and burying feelings, more seonghwa x oc dynamic

—a/n: hi hi! hope you guys enjoy this update! the next two updates will be quite lengthy lol stay tuned! if you need a lil something fun, i posted after hours last weekend!

"You know, Y/N. One day, you should sit down and eat with me. I'll pay for everything. It'll be a nice little date." The old man who is a regular at the restaurant smiles up at you while you switch his empty cup with a newly refilled cup of beer. 

"Sure, but you know, my boss is also my cousin. I could always ask her for free food if I wanted it. Wouldn't a date be nicer somewhere else?" You laugh and nod, giving him a wink before walking off. "Mr. Ong asked me out on another date."

"Ou, to our restaurant? How sweet of him. Maybe one day you should actually sit down and eat with him."

"I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, Soyeon."

"He probably just needs company, you weirdo." She laughs. "Aye, might be nice, though. You never know until you try." You roll your eyes. "Unless.."

"Unless, what?"

"Someone else has your heart." Soyeon nudges you behind the counter as you two work on packing some to-go orders.

"Who is someone else?" 

"You know, only your bestfriend of 16 years who does everything and anything for you." Soyeon giggles. But, before she can even indulge in her own little fantasy she's trying to project on you, Seonghwa walks through the front door— black, wavy hair messily framing his head. "Speak of the devil." You glare at her and roll her eyes while she continues to giggle loudly next to you.

"I can't fucking believe you."

"What?!" You look up at Seonghwa and give him a nod. "Hwa! Our favorite person ever."

"Hey." He smiles at Soyeon, giving Junseo a wave as he helps Yoongi in the kitchen.

"What're you doing here?"

"Thought I'd pick you up for Sannie's thing." He looks at you.

"Aw, Hwa. I told you I was okay taking bus."

"I was already in the area." He sits at the bar, watching as you continue to pack the remaining orders. 

"Want anything?" Soyeon asks, making Hwa shake his head in response.

"I'm good, thanks."

"You should get going so you can meet up with everyone on time." Soyeon nudges you.

"Let me give Mr. Ong his check and direct him your way before I go." You grab a new batch of dried squid with the check, pacing over to Mr. Ong with a huge smile on your face. "My dear, I have some bad news. I'm off for the night. Here's a refill of your dried squid and the check. Just pay with Soyeon at the front, okay?" He frowns and playfully protests.

"You can't go that early! What am I supposed to do when my favorite is gone?!" 

"Oh, I know. It's a tragedy. I'm so sorry, Mr. Ong. I'll see you next time!" You give him a sweet smile before walking to the back and hanging up your apron. "Soyeon will take great care of you!"

"I sure will, Mr. Ong. What else do you need?" He continues to playfully protest and partake in cute banter with Soyeon, even as you grab your things and walk out the door with Seonghwa.

"Really got the hots for you. Gonna let him take you out on a date?" Seonghwa adds as he leads the way to his parked car up the street.

"Well, just so you know, he actually did ask me on a date today. For the umpteenth time. He offered to pay for my dinner at the restaurant." You giggle as you step into the passenger's seat of Hwa's car. You always commend Hwa for being so clean and tidy, his car always in pristine condition like a new car would be. You especially love the air freshener that sits on his rear view mirror, Seonghwa always making sure to hang a new one to keep the fragrance alive.

"How sweet of him." He chuckles. "How was work otherwise?"

"Good. Busy." You let out a breath.

"Not too tired to go?"

"Never! I need to see Sannie, are you kidding?"

"I'm just giving you some options." He says, pulling away from the curb to begin the trek over to the bar.

"Thanks, Hwa. I'm perfectly fine and excited." You clap your hands in excitement.

"I think they're all already there."

"They're just waiting for us?"

"Mhm."

"Can't wait. I can't believe he went MIA when he was in Barcelona."

"I mean, we heard from him every now and then, but yeah." Seonghwa licks his lips, eyes focused on the road in front of him. "Guess he really wanted to focus on his program. Plus, I'm sure he was just basking in the new environment. Being in a new country and taking it all in."

"Good for him. I strive to be that way."

"Long way to go." You playfully smack him on the arm, making him give off a small yelp.

"I'm glad he did that, though. You don't normally find yourself in a situation like that all the time." Seonghwa nods.

"Yeah. I agree." You rest your head back against the headrest, giving yourself a moment to rest before the chaos begins. Before you could even get a few seconds of peace, Seonghwa is turning at a corner, instantly pulling into a free spot on the street.

"Mind if we walk a bit? I don't think we'll find anything closer to the bar."

"Sure. If I get wasted, it's on you to carry me." You unbuckle your seatbelt and hop out of the car while Seonghwa follows suit.

"Hell no."

"So what, are you just gonna leave me?"

"Yeah." He says nonchalantly, walking ahead of you.

"You're so mean to me." You pout, making Seonghwa look down at you once you finally catch up to his side.

"Am I? Even though I lose sleep to save you from your shitty ex-boyfriend?"

"Hey, I was just kidding." He laughs. "It's not funny. Are you sick of me?"

"Y/N, please."

"Seonghwa, are you sick of me? Cause if you are, then I am too!" You tug on his arm and he shakes his head. 

"We wouldn't be in each other's lives for this long if I was." He scoffs. "Besides, what the hell have I done to make you sick of me?"

"I thought so. Don't get me started." You playfully attempt to smack him on the arm. At this point, the two of you have finally reached the entrance to the bar, Wooyoung being the first to spot you walking over.

"Baby girl and her grumpy bodyguard are here!" He yells, waving you two over. You call out Wooyoung and Hongjoong's name while waving happily, but the individual next to them causes you to pause and almost short-circuit.

Because what do you mean that's Choi San?

You gasp when you finally process that it's San standing next to Wooyoung, his cheeks a rose-tinted color as he fiddles with his hands. He's nervous seeing you for the first time in years, hoping you'd still be the same around him like before.

"Sannie!" You scream, running into San's arms and allowing him to swing you around. When he puts you down, he gets a good look at your face and smiles, sending those butterflies loose in your stomach.

He definitely changed over the years.

It's been about three years since you all graduated, and since you last saw San. Once graduation was over, he felt the need to travel and explore, eventually stumbling into an Art and Architecture program in Barcelona. That's where he spent a majority of his years abroad before coming back home.

To you, your friends, his family.

This.

The familiar.

But the last time you saw San, he was a super sweet, awkward guy who experimented with hair colors and lacked consistency with the gym [even though he said he wanted to be better about a million times]. In reality though, he didn't think too much about his physical appearance and wasn't big on dressing up, was glued to his games and his shiba pillow pet named Shiber— even after graduation.

Now, he stands in front of you— a nice fitting black tee tucked into some dress pants and boots, brow slits, black hair slicked back with strands falling to his face, buff as shit in all the right places. You still smell his cologne lingering on you, on your hair, even as your eyes continue to glaze over his body.

"Wow, you look.. different." You accidentally let out while letting your eyes linger. He chuckles, showing off his deep dimples.

"What is that supposed to mean? I haven't seen you in about three years and that's the first thing you say?" He teases, pulling you into another tight hug, your cheek pressed against his chest while Seonghwa furrows his brows. Because what the fuck is he watching right now? It's so easy to tell when you're feeling some type of way, even if you won't admit it.

"Sorry, I meant that in a good way." You look up at him and playfully tap his chest. "I'm happy you're back home. It's been too long."

"I am, too." Seonghwa clears his throat, breaking the weird, flirty silence between the two of you.

"Can we go inside?" Seonghwa chimes in, looking at anyone for some sort of agreement.

"Okaaaaay!" Wooyoung says, clapping his hands awkwardly. "You didn't have to make it so fucking weird, Mr. Grumpygills." He and Hongjoong snort while they begin to walk into the bar, Hwa's hand coming up to smack Wooyoung on the back of his neck. "Ouch, what the fuck! Joongie laughed too." He whines.

"Shut up."

"I can't wait to hear your stories about Barcelona!" You link your arm with San's as you two trail behind and begin to talk about how he's been lately. Wooyoung, Hongjoong and Seonghwa slide in first before you and San follow suit into the booth.

"Somebody order before he loses his shit watching this." Hongjoong mumbles, eyeing the happy hour menu.

"Tequila? Soju?" Wooyoung yells, already calling the server over. "Both? Fuck it. Seonghwa looks like he needs it anyway."

"I will personally toss your ass out of this bar myself." Seonghwa says under his breath, glaring at Wooyoung before returning his attention to the menu. After a few moments of peace and silence, Hongjoong takes initiative to order for the booth— making sure to include everyone's wants and wishes before thanking the server with a smile and a curt nod.

The soju bottles come out first, and you immediately crack them open to get the party started. You line up all of the shot glasses and start pouring [heavily], passing it onto the boys for them to join you.

"Goodness." Hongjoong says, carefully lifting his shot glass filled to the brim. "Y/N, I love you, but we have all night, you know?"

"Exactly, Joongie! More time to get in more shots!"

"Yeah, that's the spirit babygirl! Don't worry about the grandpas!" Wooyoung yells along, tapping his glass against yours. "Sannie's back!" San shyly laughs, saying a few words along the lines of 'thank you' and 'i missed you guys a lot.' Everyone taps their glasses once more before downing their shots, with you wasting no time to pour the next round.

But the next round becomes the third, the fifth, maybe seventh, tenth? You aren't really sure when it's mainly you, San and Wooyoung taking the shots and requesting bottle after bottle. At some point, the empty bottles are gathered in the middle of the table and Seonghwa is having to play tetris to make the food fit.

"I need to pee. I'll be back."

"Are you good to go by yourself?" Wooyoung questions. "I can stand outside in the hallway until you're done."

"I'm good, I promise!" You slip out of the booth once San has slipped out of the way at the end, taking a moment to get your balance together since the world seems to be spinning a lot more than usual right now.

"Wow, I think I'm drunk." Wooyoung laughs as he plops back down onto the seat.

"Saaaame." San burps a bit before picking at the calamari sitting in front of him. "Y/N's fun. I forgot how fun she is."

"She is." Wooyoung smiles. "That's babygirl."

"Babygirl? Is this a new nickname we're calling her?"

"It's a nickname I'm calling her and Hwa hates it." Wooyoung giggles when he eyes Seonghwa next to him.

"It's just weird."

"Not! You're just mad you can't come up with a cuter nickname for your bestfriend."

"I don't need to." Seonghwa continues to eat, brushing off Wooyoung's drunk teasing.

"Did you guys come from work today?" Hongjoong shifts the topic as he munches on some of the food, hearing the slight annoyance in Seonghwa's tone.

"Yeah. Picked up Y/N on the way over."

"When are Soyeon and Junseo leaving for Japan?"

"In a few days." Wooyoung gasps.

"Does that mean we'll get to see Chacha?!"

"That's right, I never met Charli." San says, cheeks flushed completely to red now that he's 100% drunk.

"She's cute." Seonghwa smiles a bit. "But yeah, Soyeon asked Y/N to take charge in watching Chacha since Yaya's knees have been bothering her." Hongjoong nods.

"She's really cute, dude. She turned three not too long ago." Wooyoung shows San a picture. 

"She's so cute." San laughs at the pictures of Charli.

"I'm back!" You announce, the boys at the end slipping out of the booth to let you get back inside. "What're you guys looking at?"

"Chacha." You smile.

"Aw yeah, Charli! You haven't met her. She'd love you." You look at San.

"Can't wait. She's super cute."

"She's stuck to this one the most, though." You point at Seonghwa. "All she does is cry for Hwa." You pour yourself another shot.

"He's no fun, though." Wooyoung pokes fun and pouts at Seonghwa.

"It's cause mentally, you're the same age as Charli. Of course you relate the most."

"Aye." Wooyoung flips him off while laughing. "Fuck you."

"Am I wrong?" Seonghwa smirks.

"Is she just gonna stay with Yaya when she doesn't have preschool? She only goes three days, right?" Hongjoong asks.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure." You reach across to grab some food, getting in Seonghwa's way. "I know Yaya won't mind, but I might just bring her along to the restaurant. She can color or something. Our regulars don't mind keeping her company, too."

"Cute." 

"But, she'll be sleeping with me and everything." You say with a slightly full mouth. You feel Seonghwa accidentally nudge you while grabbing a chicken wing, making your drunk ass glare back at him just as you roughly nudge him. He mumbles a quick 'stop' as he nudges you again, making you respond with an even more aggressive nudge that has him moving in his seat. The childish back and forth has Hongjoong confused, eyes peering over the edge of his phone while he watches the interaction mid-text. "You stop." You groan.

"Seriously?" Hongjoong asks, sometimes unsure how you two have dealt with each other for this long.

"He elbowed me first." You drunkly respond, that last shot of soju finally settling in.

"It was an accident. I was trying to grab food." Seonghwa gives you a look. It's gonna be a long night. "Eat more. Drunk ass." Seonghwa drops a wing onto your plate before continuing to pick at his food.

"No." You pout and he furrows his brows.

"Fine, suit yourself. You're gonna be mad you didn't." He watches as you reach over to grab the soju bottle and pour Wooyoung and San another shot.

"Don't be a killjoy, Hwa. Sannie is back, doesn't that mean anything to you?" You whine, your doe-eyes peering up at him as he eats. He doesn't respond, nor does he keep eye contact with you for long because he can't stand it when you look at him like that. 

"I'm driving, remember?" He raises a brow. 

"Right." You giggle. "I'll take another on your behalf then." You shrug and take one last shot of soju right after San and Wooyoung take their shots.

"She's gonna yack tonight." Hongjoong says while puckering his lips, keeping his eyes glued to his phone.

"Yeah, probably." Seonghwa nonchalantly munches on a mozzarella stick.

"Am! Not!" You direct your response to Hongjoong, but before you can go on and defend yourself even more, a loud scream erupts when the DJ starts to play one of your favorite songs.

"Who wants to dance?!" Wooyoung yells loudly as he stands at the booth, San already ready to make his way to the dance floor. "Babygirl sure does!" San grabs your hand and leads the way, with Wooyoung pushing Hongjoong out of the booth to follow along. "You two coming?" He asks just as Hongjoong and Seonghwa shake their head, leaving him to nod and find you and San on the floor.

"Looks like those two are gonna get extra close again now that he's back for good." Hongjoong takes a turn teasing Seonghwa, knowing the flirty interaction from earlier in the night is still irking the living daylight out of him.

"Mm, maybe." Seonghwa continues to chomp on his food while avoiding eye contact.

"Wow, they're dancing awfully close like that together." Hongjoong lies, watching as Seonghwa's eyes suddenly dart to the dance floor ahead. He tries not to make it obvious but my god, is he hoping that you and San aren't dancing up on each other and are leaving room for the Holy Spirit instead. "See, you're full of shit."

"Dude, fuck off. Why is everyone on my ass about this today?"

"Maybe cause you should do something about it."

"If she wants to date San, then she should go for it. Can't tell her who she can or can't date."

"You're right, by all means. But I'm telling you to be fucking real with yourself." Seonghwa rolls his eyes and shakes his head before looking back out to the dance floor. He's a little irritated that he's had to hear this not once, but twice in one day— though, he knows his boys are only looking out for him and telling him the truth. For some reason, he just can't think about it right now. He refuses to, mainly out of fear. He doesn't want this to consume him, to change things without him even realizing.

He wants you, but he'll have you the way the universe will allow him to have you.

After you, Wooyoung and San are done dancing [a very long hour or so afterwards], the group decides to call it a night shortly after. You're still drunk as hell, and Seonghwa doesn't even know how he's gonna get you home without creating chaos at this time of night. He just hopes he can at least get you to bed in one piece.

At least you're not running off to Mingi.

"I had so much fun!" You giggle. "Choi San." You tap his chest before hugging him. "I'm so glad you're back."

"I am, too."

"We have to hang out more now that you're back. T-to make up for lost—" You hiccup. "—time."

"That sounds good with me." You smile at him before hugging Wooyoung and Hongjoong.

"I mean it!"

"I know, I do too!" He laughs.

"Hwa get home safely, please." Joong says before grabbing at Wooyoung's shirt just as he's about to run to the water fountain nearby. "No, you're not going to the fountain."

"I just wanna make a wish and toss a coin in there! I'm not gonna dive in!" Wooyoung whines while San laughs loudly. "Why are you being like that!" He continues on.

"You too!" Seonghwa calls out, picking up his pace when he realizes you've already started walking off. "Shit." He mumbles to himself.

"Wooooooo!" You skip happily as you and Seonghwa walk down the street to his car. You stumble on your feet a bit that he has to grab your wrist and pull you back towards him before you end up on the busy street where cars are constantly driving up and down.

"Y/N, be careful." He says, almost whining that you can't just stay still next to him.

"Hwa, I'm fine."

"Are you?"

"Y-yes!" You giggle and pose as if he's taking a picture, only to lose your balance and stumble on your feet again. You laugh though, and it makes Seonghwa chuckle a bit when he grabs your arm and holds you close.

"Okay, yeah. You're right! Perfectly fine." He lies just so you're satisfied.

"Aw, see. I told you so." You scrunch your nose at him and continue to let him guide you to the car. "Hwa." You tug on his arm.

"Mhm?"

"Sannie is so cute." You pout. "He is so, so cute. I m-mean." You hiccup. "He's always been cute but he's so attractive now. Like prince charming." You say ever so smitten, and it makes Seonghwa wanna silently scream and punch the air right now. "Isn't he?!"

"Sure."

"Do you think he'd like me? We're just friends and he probably just—" You hiccup again. "Just sees me as a friend."

"I think he would."

"You're not just saying that because you're my bestfriend, right? You can tell me the truth. You hate Mingi and you tell me all the time."

"I always tell you the truth." He chuckles. "And I do hate Mingi. That has never changed. He's an asshole and doesn't treat you right."

"Would San treat me right? Would you like him? We've all been friends so you know him." Seonghwa sighs.

"He would. He's a really good guy."

"I knooooow." You pout. "But he wouldn't like me."

"He would."

"Would he actually?"

"Why not? You're beautiful inside and out, smart, funny. Fun to be around. You're a headache at times, but everything about you is worth it." He almost mumbles the last part hoping you wouldn't catch it. You do, but it doesn't bother Seonghwa as much knowing you won't remember shit tomorrow.

"Aw, pichu." You stop and look at him while he unlocks his car and swings the passenger door open for you. "You really mean that?" Your bottom lip looks like it's trembling and Seonghwa can't help but furrow his brows in confusion at you.

"Are you gonna cry?"

"Yeah." Your bottom lip pokes out even more and you actually do start crying. 

"That wasn't meant to make you cry, Y/N. I'm just answering your question." He laughs as he wipes your tears, but you continue to cry, even as you drunkly plop onto the passenger's seat.

"It was so sweet, you're always so good to me. Sometimes." You sniff. "Well all the time. I feel like I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that."

"It's true."

"It's not, or else I wouldn't be here, right?" He looks at you just as he finishes buckling your seatbelt.

"Did you know?" You giggle with glazed, hooded eyes. "I wanted to marry you at some point. I couldn't see anyone else in my life the same way that I saw you and thought I'd end up marrying you." You snort and laugh loudly. "Kinda crazy isn't it? We would never date though so how could that even happen?" Seonghwa can't help but continue to look at you, even though at this point you've shut your eyes and started to lean back against the seat.

"Hm." Seonghwa hums. "I wouldn't say never."

"You're my bestfriend. We can't break up, remember? Ever. If we date, then ultimately we could get tired of each other and break up. A-and hate each other. It'll kill me." You mumble. "Even though I love you, I really, really love you, we promised not to break up or go there."

"Yeah." Seonghwa's heart shatters, the pieces falling to the pits of his stomach.

"Listen, even though I have this crush on Sannie, or I think I do, I don't know—" You giggle again as you tap his arm. "I want you to know that I'll always love you more than anyone or anything. Okay? You're always first!" Your eyes pop open to look at him. "My heart belongs to you and only you, Park Seonghwa!" You laugh and point at him cutely, shutting your eyes again to finally try and sleep this off. 

"I love you, too." Seonghwa mutters as he drives off, but you're already sound asleep in the seat— head leaning near the window. He's not sure what to feel right now, and he'll probably never bring this up for your sake. He'll never bring it up though the thought will consume him.

But, did you really mean it? All of it?

He's hoping yes, but what is that gonna do for him? You're drunk. You won't remember this. He won't bring it up. Does this mean it's actually time for him to be honest before it's too late? Before San can sweep you off your feet for good and Seonghwa never gets the chance to tell you how much he truly loves you and adores you?

Before he just has to sit back and bury his feelings for good? All because he decided he couldn't tell you?

He'd hate to say you were the one that got away, especially when a whole new door just opened in front of his eyes. It's just a matter of him taking those steps.

Fuck.

Why do things have to be so complicated?

When he gets to your house, Yaya is sound asleep and all the lights are off. Seonghwa makes sure to open the side door and the door to your suite before coming back to his car to quietly unbuckle your seatbelt and carry you to your bed. You whimper and make a small noise when he lifts you, and he gently shushes you back to sleep— reassuring you that he was putting you to bed and that he'd be around if you needed him.

He lays you down, taking off your shoes and setting them aside before grabbing some clean clothes for you to change into later. He knows you'll probably get up in the middle of the night, especially with how drunk you were. He sets a glass of water near your bed side and places the trash can next to you just in case, before shutting all the curtains and changing into comfier clothes himself [the perks of you wearing his clothes home]. He lays down on your couch and throws the extra blanket over his body, taking a moment to scroll through his phone and text the boys before attempting to get some sleep.

You do end up yacking that night, and it's not as slick as you had liked.

You abruptly woke up, suddenly feeling warm and like you needed some sort of release, feet quickly padding to the bathroom that you didn't notice Seonghwa asleep on your couch. You shut the door to the bathroom and instantly vomit into the bowl— all the alcohol and things you've eaten coming right back up. Seonghwa is already awake, though. He heard you shuffling over to the bathroom and knows exactly what's happening behind the door. He lets out a breath while walking to the bathroom, finding you head first into the toilet. He gently gathers your hair and pulls it back, rubbing your back as you let out another round into the bowl before flushing it away.

"Fuck." You say. "Really do regret not eating more." You spit into the bowl before flushing it once more and stand to wash up.

"Figured." Seonghwa smirks with a little chuckle. "You alright?" You nod as you begin to brush your teeth and get loads of mouthwash ready.

"I think I'll be okay now. I feel a bit better even though I'm kinda dizzy still." You look at him through your bathroom mirror. "Were you here the entire time?" Seonghwa yawns and nods as he leans against the door frame.

"Took your little drunk ass home and stayed here just in case."

"How many hours ago did we get home?"

"Probably like 2 or 3."

"How drunk was I?"

"Drunk enough."

"I didn't say stupid shit, did I?" You spit out the mouth wash and start to make your way outside to change into comfier clothes, still feeling disoriented.

"No, but you did manage to be all up on San." You gasp and cover your mouth, Seonghwa laughing as he plops back down onto your couch.

"The fuck, Seonghwa! Don't lie!" You smack him on the shoulder.

"I'm kidding. Kinda. You were dancing with him and Wooyoung, and you wouldn't stop talking about how cute he was." You start changing in the bathroom with the door open, listening to him go on about that.

"Did he hear?"

"No, you were still being a flirt though."

"Fucking christ." You mumble, hand to your forehead at the dull headache now present post-yack session. "No, I'm not thinking about this now." You lay back down and toss the sheets over your body. "Are you sure you're okay to sleep there?"

"Mhm. Not like I haven't before."

"We've also shared a bed without issues." Seonghwa pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat. Can he really share a bed with you the same way he used to? Especially after you just blurted out that your heart belonged to him? Whether it was the truth, or for shits and giggles— he can't just share a bed with you and keep his distance.

You fucking blurted out the L word.

You said you loved him; really, really loved him.

"It's okay. You should rest comfortably. You need it more than I do." You hum as you sink into your sheets and let the warmth envelope you. Seonghwa lets out a quiet sigh before returning his attention to his phone, waiting for the drowsiness to hit him again. His groupchat with the boys still seems to be active, so he scrolls through to catch up on the texts:

[hongjoong]: just got home after dropping these punks off

[hongjoong]: can't believe woo and san convinced me to go to another bar

[hongjoong]: hwa did you and y/n make it home okay?

[wooyoung]: did y/n yack her brains out? cause babygirl was drunk drunk

[san]: you guys, speaking of her

[san]: y/n is so fucking cute, i missed her a lot

[san]: she's really not seeing anyone right? because she's so pretty

[san]: maybe she'll finally give me a chance lol

[hongjoong]: you're drunk. sleep it off? lol

[san]: no i really mean it ☹️ she rarely paid attention to me before..

[hongjoong]: what are you talking about, she was always with us lol you guys always hung out??

[hongjoong]: please go to sleep

[wooyoung]: u better ask bodyguard seonghwa first, he might drop kick that ass

[san]: shit hwa i'm sorry, am i overstepping here??

Seonghwa is annoyed and he's irritated, but he won't say it. And he won't take it out on San because it's not his fault. It's not anyone's fault but Seonghwa's own. He chooses to keep this to himself and not do anything about it, so can he really mope around and sulk? You weren't his to claim. It was free game, and if it's gonna be anyone, he would want it to be San. Seonghwa would ultimately support you and San if it ever went down that route. That way, you wouldn't keep hurting yourself over Song Mingi, too.

Despite adoring you and loving you to bits, all he wants is for you to be genuinely happy. That's the most important thing here.

[seonghwa]: don't listen to wooyoung's dumbass, you don't needa tell me or ask me anything. y/n is her own person

[seonghwa]: and yeah joong we're fine

[seonghwa]: she did throw up but shes asleep now

[seonghwa]: i'm gonna take my exit, tired as hell

He sets his phone aside, turning inwards on the couch to try and catch some shut-eye. Though, he feels like at this point, he's probably not gonna have the best rest. He manages to fall asleep for the next couple of hours, tossing and turning every now and then until he finally decides to just call it quits and start his day. He washes up and tries to make himself look a little more presentable after the long night of tossing and turning. He folds the blankets and sets them aside, happy to see that you're still sound asleep deep under your covers. He grabs his keys and phone, deciding to make a run for some pho to bring back and share with you.

"Seonghwa." Yaya says as she waters her flowers in the garden. "You're here." She smiles.

"Mhm." He gestures towards your suite. "Brought her home after we all went out last night for San."

"Oh, that handsome boy. I'm so happy to hear he's back home." She stands and places her hand on her hip. "Was she okay?"

"Yeah, just drank quite a bit. She's okay though. Promise." Seonghwa smiles sweetly. "I'm gonna grab us some food before she wakes up."

"You're the sweetest boy I know." She cups his cheek.

"Do you need anything while I'm out, Yaya?" He asks as he's about to head out of the backyard's side door.

"No, Soyeon, Junseo and Charli are coming over soon. You're gonna be here, right? Charli would be so sad if she missed you."

"Yeah, I'll be here." He chuckles. "Be back." 

With that, Seonghwa heads off to the small Vietnamese restaurant that you, your family and his family have come to love. It's a bit of a drive from your place, but he doesn't mind. The restaurant is owned by a lovely middle-aged couple who has seen you and Seonghwa grow since your high school years. When Seonghwa calls, they know his voice— immediately starting on his order before he could say anything and asking for him to swing by as soon as possible so they can see him.

So, that's what he does.

He sees them as soon as possible, walking into the store with a huge smile on his face while Mr. and Mrs. Dao happily wave him over with a huge bag of food nearby on the counter. He stands near the counter to engage in small talk for a bit, giving them cash with extra tip for all the good food they've packed for him [and you].

"Where is our girl?" Mrs. Dao asks, tying the knot securely on the bag.

"Asleep and hungover." She laughs, handing the bag over. "Gotta make sure she gets some food in her system."

"That's sweet of you." She smiles at him. 

"How's your family? How's Y/N and hers?" Mr. Dao asks him, wiping his hand on his apron.

"They're all good. I'll tell them you guys said hello." They nod.

"I packed some spring rolls and extra peanut sauce in there. I know those are her favorite." Mrs. Dao whispers.

"Thank you." Seonghwa winks before waving one last time and walking out of the door. 

As promised, when he arrives, Soyeon, Junseo and Charli are over. Seonghwa steps out of his car with the bag of food, a screaming Charli running towards him from down the hallway. She barrels through her own mom and dad to get to him quickly, with Seonghwa having to set the bag on the island counter down to appropriately welcome her into his arms and swing her around.

"Uncle Hwa! Uncle Hwa!" She screams repeatedly.

"Charli, please. You don't have to scream." Soyeon chuckles a bit.

"Chacha." Seonghwa taps the tip of her nose before she giggles and snuggles her head into the crook of his neck. "I missed you. Where have you been?" He asks teasingly.

"Preschool! With friends!"

"Aw, you've been making friends? That's good." 

"Hwa, don't let that child lie to you." Soyeon adds. "She's so mean and sassy. There was this kid who wanted to sit next to her and she kicked her foot out so he wouldn't." Junseo laughs.

"Wonder who she gets that attitude from?" Junseo chimes in.

"Can't forget that one time we took her to the park and another kid wanted to play with her, but Chacha held up a stick so they wouldn't get close to her." Seonghwa laughs at Junseo's story before he rubs at Charli's back.

"Aw pea, you can't do that."

"I don't!"

"Mhm. Now she wants to act all sweet and innocent cause you're here." Soyeon crosses her arm and nods at the bag. "Long night for Y/N, I'm assuming."

"You could say that." He continues to hold Charli against his hip while grabbing at the bag. "Hey, let's go wake up Auntie Y/N?" She happily nods as Seonghwa walks off to the suite. As expected, you're still deep under your covers, messy hair the only thing peeking out from under. "Go wake her up, Chacha." He says lowly, putting her down so that she can run to the bed and wake you [rather aggressively].

"Titi Y/N! Titi Y/N! Wakey wakey!" Seonghwa chuckles to himself as he sets the food out on your coffee table, grabbing two bowls for you both. 

"Oh my god, Chacha. Please." You groggily say as she bounces on your bed. "How are you even in here right now?"

"Uncle Hwa! He has food so you need to eat now." You would've thought she was grown with that attitude, you think. You chuckle as you rub at your eyes and sit up, giving your niece a proper bear hug and cuddle.

"Thank you, pea." You give her a kiss on the side of the head before you get up to wash up and get yourself ready for the day. Once you've freshen up, you do feel a bit better, though your tummy still feels unsettled so Seonghwa's timing is perfect.

Like always.

You plop next to him on the floor, while Chacha welcomes herself on his criss-crossed lap. He pushes the container of spring rolls and the huge bowl of pho towards you since he's already had his first helping, eyes glued on your TV even though it's just the Secret Life of Pets [probably by Chacha's choosing].

"Thank you, Hwa." His big eyes dart to you before he gives you a small smile and slurps his noodles.

"Course." He feeds some to Chacha when she politely asks for a bite. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, a bit. This will help majorly." You slurp the soup.

"Chacha! Let's go! I told you we were only stopping by for a bit!" Soyeon calls from outside.

"No, mama! I wanna stay with Auntie Y/N and Uncle Hwa." She whines loudly, on the verge of an actual breakdown as she stands in between you two.

"Hey Chacha, remember? We're gonna spend some time together soon while mama and papa are away." You pull her close to you and brush the hair out of her face. "Just me and you. Uncle Hwa too." She nods, a tear falling from her eye as she pouts. Seonghwa has to look away because he's finding that the more he's fixated on this scene, the more he imagines a future like this with you. 

And he can't do that to himself.

"Okay." She mumbles with the pout still on her face. You continue to brush her hair back and wipe the straggling tears before standing. 

"Say bye to Uncle Hwa." You dust down your clothes as Charli throws her hands around his neck for a tight hug.

"Bye cutiepie." She giggles before taking your hand and meeting her mom and dad outside in the backyard.

"Swear, she's so stuck on Seonghwa." You laugh and hug Junseo.

"Can't blame her." 

"Well, good to know you're alive. And not at Mingi's." You roll your eyes.

"Always ruining the moment. Leave." Soyeon sticks her tongue out and waves.

"I'll call you later to talk more about the trip. Gotta prepare!" She says in an excited tone, one where you can't help but laugh a bit and shake your head.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm charging you double this time." You call out before giving one last wave and heading back into your suite. Seonghwa is still seated on the ground, but he's drinking water and has his bowl pushed aside. "You're not gonna eat more?"

"No, go for it. It's mainly yours. Mrs. Dao gave you spring rolls and extra peanut sauce on the house."

"Aw, I love her. She's so sweet." You take a bite into one. "What're you gonna do today?" He shrugs.

"Probably hang out at Joong's or San's." He looks at you. "Why?"

"Can I come?"

"No?"

"Why not?" You whine playfully, knowing you don't actually wanna join their weird little boy party.

"Because all you're gonna do is flirt with San and we have important business to take care of." You snort and laugh loudly.

"No I'm not! And important business? Like fucking yelling at each other during a game of FIFA?"

"No."

"Right." You roll your eyes. "I'm kidding, I don't wanna join in your sad little no girls allowed party."

"Girls are allowed." He smirks. "Just not you."

"You really are such a dick to me sometimes." He laughs, blocking the pillow from hitting his face.

"What, and you aren't a brat to me?"

"I beg to differ."

"If only you knew." He snorts, pinching your cheek. "I'm just joking, you know I am. You're always welcome to come."

"No, I really don't wanna go. Was just teasing." You finish up your food.

"What're you gonna do then?"

"Work at the restaurant and serve some middle-aged men their beer and food while they ogle at me." You joke and he winces.

"Mmkay well, have fun with that." Seonghwa stands and cleans up his trash before wiping your table down thoroughly. "Make sure to invite me to the wedding or else I'll be pissed."

"You're full of shit, Hwa." He groans when he sees a drop of peanut sauce land onto the surface that he's just cleaned. "Oops."

"I swear to God." He sighs, cleaning it again before shaking his head.

"You love me."

"I beg to differ." He mocks you just as he washes his hands and stretches. "Alright, well I'm out. Get some more rest before you head to the restaurant, you look kinda torn up." He ruffles your hair, causing you to smack his hand away and flip him off.

"Fuck you, get out." He chuckles as he heads out the door and leaves you to your peace.

When Seonghwa gets to his place, he manages to tidy up a bit, shower and throw on some fresh clothes before calling Hongjoong to see what the consensus was for the meeting place. Hongjoong ends up telling him that they're all on their way to San's, giving Seonghwa the green light to head over as well. 

On his way over, he tries to push his thoughts to the back of his mind. He tries his hardest not to overthink, not to focus too much on all the stuff that's happened.

The stuff you said.

He knows it's probably just you being drunk and babbling all this mess, especially now that you're finding interest in San. But as with everyone says, the drunk mind speaks sober thoughts. 

Was there some kind of truth to it?

Did you really see him that way at some point?

Is there a part of you that still feels that way?

"What's wrong with you?" Seonghwa looks at Wooyoung in slight disgust as he steps aside and lets him in. 

"Nothing. Just didn't wanna see you first."

"You're an asshole." Wooyoung laughs. "How does Y/N deal with you? She's so sweet and fun, everything you're not—" Hwa smacks him upside the head. "Ow, see!" Wooyoung continues to complain.

"Speaking of her, how's Y/N?" San eagerly asks as he sits next to Hongjoong on the couch, continuing his journey on Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth.

"All of a sudden." Hongjoong snorts.

"She's good. Recovering from her night, I guess. She's going to work soon."

"Mm. Glad she survived."

"What have you guys been up to?" Seonghwa plops onto the beanbag and scrolls through his phone, finally letting out a breath of relief after his night. At least he could relax and chill out here.

"Just hanging out. Trying to figure out what to eat." Hongjoong looks at him. "You eat already?"

"Yeah, I went to grab some pho for Y/N."

"Okay, thanks for the invite."

"You can take care of yourself." Seonghwa snaps back at Wooyoung, making him mock Hwa in return.

"Aye, are you guys down to head to the mall in a bit? We can just grab food there." San asks, eyes still focused on the TV.

"Why do you need to go to the mall?"

"I just wanna buy some new clothes."

"For what?" Hongjoong chuckles. 

"Listen, I haven't been around for awhile, okay? I started cleaning out a few things from my closet for donations. Plus, I haven't treated myself in a long time cause I've been so focused on the program and what not."

"Mm okay, so what's the real reason?" Wooyoung asks, chomping onto a banana. Seonghwa glances at San from his seat, taking note of how his cheeks and ears turn red and how he's suddenly getting shy. Nervous, even.

And he's not sure how to feel. He has a feeling he might know exactly where this is going, and he's hoping he's wrong. Maybe overthinking. Jumping to conclusions.

"I definitely wanna take Y/N to dinner and catch up with her. See where this goes.." San trails off, causing Seonghwa to pause mid-text— trying his very hardest not to make it too entirely obvious that his heart has dropped from the statement, equally sad and annoyed by the entire situation [for his own selfish reasons].

Fuck.

♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @yeosangsbbg @jycas @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[seokmn]

FALLING FOR U

author’s note: istg when i first start writing all i know about english disappear.. i tried my best to write something fluffy Plus joshua being in love with you?? literally anyone’s dream.

you’re a regular customer from a cafe and even have your favorite barista, joshua. you always go there to buy an iced americano to be able to face how rough your day it’s gonna be because of your work.

“wah.. is today his day off? he didn’t told me..” you say when you don’t see joshua on the balcony. “hi! are you gonna order the usual?” you frowned your eyebrows, you had never ordered with this worker, how could she know your usual order? “sorry, you must be confused. josh told me about you and your order.” you smile and let go a silent aahh, “yes, the usual please.”

when the lady hands you your coffee she also hands a paper bag a little bit heavy with a kind smile, “this is on joshua’s.”, you open the bag and see three donuts, you thank the worker and go straight to your work. while you’re walking you can’t help but smile with the thought of joshua telling the coworker about you and your order and even paying some donuts for you, that’s so nice of him.

even though your day started very nicely, your work was able to make you very stressed. your shift finally is over and all you can think is about getting back home and watch some movies while eating popcorn and drinking diet coke.

while you’re waiting for your bus you’re using your phone to post the picture you took of your coffee and your donuts on your instagram’s story. “y/n?” you hear this familiar voice and look up to see joshua standing in front of you with a smile on his face “joshua? what are you doing around here?”

“i live nearby, are you waiting the bus to go home?” he sits beside you, “yes.. hey, thanks for the donuts and for telling your coworker about my usual order, that was so nice of you” you say with a smile and oh my god how your smile means the world to joshua, even the slightest smile you give to him melts his heart and makes him want to kiss your entire face and hug you the tightest possible. “josh? are you listening to me?” you make he gets back to reality, smiling back at you

“yeah, i needed to help my friend so i had to take a day off out of suddenly so i talked to my coworker about your order and payed some donuts as an apology for not warning you about my day off” you feel your heart skips a beat, he didn’t need to do all this just because he wasn’t able to tell you about his day off, but still he did. because of that, you feel like your plan about watching a movie alone could wait for another day, today is the opportunity to repay his kind action and maybe, just maybe, get to know more about him.

“are you hungry? i was so busy with my work that i wasn’t able to eat properly, we could go to a-“ joshua cuts you with an instantly yes and a sorry right away when he notices what he just did, you both laughed.

joshua has always been in love with you and everytime you smile at him or joke about him being your favorite about and how there’s no coffee as good as his makes his heart flutters. it’s a fact that tonight he’s gonna fall for you once again just like he falls every single day, but this time he’s pretty sure he’s gonna fall even harder.

“let’s go?”

“let’s go.”

[contentloadingandstuff]

This is not a post about writing. Sorry.

I don't want to put personal things on this blog. You're here to read the stuff I write, and don't want to listen to me whine. I understand that. And yet here I am.

As predicted, though it came much faster. It's already been a week and I'm starting to have enough of this. The entire day was spent at the university because my lessons are spaced out throughout the day. I have added another two annoying, condescending and egoistic professors. I miss high school already, and I never thought I would - everything was better organised back then. Classrooms packed, stuffy, filthy chair-desks. Every teacher has their own rules and programmes. Every one of them says that it's going to be difficult. Thanks, I didn't realise that when I signed up for five years of law. They give tasks and homework that involve other people, people that I don't know and that seem to not give a flying duck about me when I try to seek them out. So much boring text to dig through, while not even knowing which parts are important. I got into the highest language group (C1) in English. My reward? Two years spent working my ass off with a nasty hag as my teacher. I have to commute ninety minutes to campus. I missed my bus today by two stops. Now it's forty minutes more commuting as punishment. And then twenty minutes on foot. I left my house at 8, I will come back at 20. Twelve hours. Every Monday since now. Half of which are actually spent on learning.

I'm tired. The bed is tough, the flat cramped and lonely. I have left everyone behind for this. Sure, I can travel back to them by train, but that costs. And my teachers allow just two missed classes, else you fail. Money management is giving me decision fatigue. I have long started digging into my savings, the stuff I got on my birthday. The rent is high. I need to get a flatmate to reduce the costs because my grandparents won't let me stay in this tiny flat for less than 3000 PLN (750$) monthly.

On top of that, my friends have gotten less talkative. I don't blame them, they have their own lives. If anybody texts or calls me, it's my family - only to learn about how I fare. Not in general, just at the university. Because there is nothing more to me. They tell me 'ah, yeah, that's going to suck :D' with a cheerful tone. Oh it already does. But I have to answer them that I'm fine, because it wouldn't do any good to tell them to piss off, or at least shut up if they have to be on my back.

I was excited at the prospect of being alone. I wouldn't have to be ashamed, worried or hide things. Independence, privacy. It quickly wore off. I stay up until 3 am, get five hours of sleep and go to uni. I play video games, but even they don't excite me as much as they used to. I feel like I've watched every single video on YouTube by now. I don't have the strength to go for new things now.

Writing is nothing but another source of stress now. When I do my dailies in Genshin I am reminded that I'm not writing. NAU stares daggers at me. I've killed it, but the first remade chapter isn't even halfway ready as of now.

I'm not going to the gym, or leaving the house that much. I'm eating trash food, for just a moment of distraction. I've bought more Lego than I bought for years recently. Just to get a moment of happiness when putting it together. I've spent money on things that I won't use. They don't seem as interesting when they are built. I can't sell them, I've opened them already. I lost two instruction books. They are useless.

I don't have a choice, I need to keep studying, but I don't want to. Now I have nobody to guide me through this mess. I need to work things out myself, but it's not what I can feasibly do.

I hate it here. I hate it now. I regret living up to this moment in my life. I wish I spared myself of all this. But I didn't have the strength to do it, even when I had the best chance.

So uh, writing is gonna be slow alright.

[copperbadge]

I'm here! Well, I mean, I've been here for several hours at this point, but I've reached my lodgings and settled in. I hung up the next few days' worth of clothes, put my toiletries in the bathroom, took a shower, and am now running today's (which are also yesterday's) clothes through the small washer-dryer. We'll see if it actually dries them; if not at least I'm not doing this the hour before packing for Paris.

Went to Sainsbury's. You guys are not gonna believe the shit I found, but it's going to have to wait until my phone charges.

There have been a few hiccups on the road; the main one is that due to a complicated series of events, I have two USB ports I can charge all my gear from when I really could use four, and I'm not sure if I'll even have those two available once I leave London. I'm just going to have to be a little measured with my power use until I have more intel. In any case, most trains these days seem to have USB ports, so I'll just plug in whenever I can. As long as the phone stays charged I should be fine, and I can charge it like four times on my backup battery before the backup bites it.

Overall, despite Heathrow being a nightmare, it was a pleasant day -- I checked my luggage at the Tate Modern, did a loop of it, then went off to Pick & Cheese, the conveyor belt restaurant. I wanted one of everything but I know me, so I limited myself to three plates, which was enough to fill me up, although I imagine I'm going to have a snack before bed. (Hence Sainsbury's.) It was really, really good cheese and pairings, but I'm sure part of it was also that I hadn't had a real meal in roughly eighteen hours. The dinner they served on the flight was absolutely inedible; I had three or four protein/granola bars and a cup of Chobani, but that was pretty much it. It's fine -- Adderall is an appetite suppressant and normally it doesn't affect me because I'm home all day and like to eat, but actual hunger isn't an issue and as long as I make sure I get some calories in my face every few hours, blood sugar wasn't either. This is why I brought a literal dozen protein bars.

Still nice to sit somewhere and eat what amounted to a big plate of protein and sugar.

Everyone I've interacted with has been super nice, too -- people don't know how to walk on the sidewalk, which my midwestern-transplant soul found almost actively rude, but I chalked it up to tourists the same way we do back home. All the "staff" I've dealt with -- airport attendants, train officials, waitstaff, museum staff, the guy at Sainsbury's -- have been super nice. It reminds me that some cities actually want to be tourist cities, unlike Chicago, which begrudgingly admits we need tourists but really would rather they all die horribly. There's being a good customer service staffer and then there's actually being a nice person and I think most of the folks I dealt with are the latter.

Tomorrow I go to the British Museum, and I'm kind of glad that mudlarking fell through, because I feel like I definitely am going to need the morning to do a little recovering from all the walking. I'm going to ice my feet tonight and that should help.

So yes, here I am, in the new time zone, plotting a heist getting ready for tomorrow. I've successfully taken several different trains and a bus, and I know at least two of my payment cards work overseas plus my phone, so all of the major problems I anticipated are non-problems in the end.

I'm hoping tomorrow morning to go back over my posts and add anything that's needed and maybe post a few more photos from today, but we'll see. I have no idea what time I'll wake up tomorrow if I go to bed in the next half hour. Exciting to find out!

[hispipsqueak]

Training Camp

Tsukishima x F!Reader - fluff

TW: college au, drinking mention, mild cursing, jealousy, pretty fluffy. There is one mention of reader having long hair.

A/N: wake up besties, Pip posted. I’ve been writing this off and on for like months just as a comfort fluff piece but I decided to finaly share it after some sweet feedback. I hope you like it. It’s v self-indulgent bc i am a SIMP. 

Everyone is 18+

Hinata was yelling.

Tsukishima rubbed his temple. It was 6 AM and the team was on their way to an intercollegiate training camp. He was not excited. The cold bus was a stark contrast to the soft warm bed he left too early this morning.

The training camp was going to gather a few different schools so he was going to see his friends, Bokuto and Kuroo. He was hoping to work on a few more blocks with them, to improve his playing. However, having to deal with HInata and Nishinoya on the bus was testing his patience.

"Screaming isn't going to make you any taller, idiot." He hissed at Hinata. Hinata made a face and was about to shout back until he was interrupted by Ukai.

"We are pulling into the camp. I expect you guys to be on your best behavior as you're representing Karasuno University." He parked the bus and the guys started loading out their bags. Everyone was buzzing, excited to see their friends and test out new skills. Tsukishima pulled his headphones around his ears and started moving his bags to the team dorms.

"OI TSUKKI!" A boisterous voice shouted from behind him. He was immediately enveloped in a hug that lifted his tall frame off the ground.

"Bokuto...it's like 7 AM." Akaashi muttered, wiping sleep from his eyes. He nodded at Tsukishima who was grateful toward the dark-haired man for getting the giant owl to let him go.

"Tsukishima! Aren't you glad to see us?" Another cocky voice came from the corner. Kuroo sauntered in before clapping him on the shoulder. Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

"I feel like I see enough of you two, especially since you added me to a groupchat that you won't let me leave."

"To be fair, they won't let us leave either." Kenma muttered from behind his Switch. Akaashi chuckled in agreement.

"Anyway, Karasuno better be prepared because the practice matches are gonna go HARD!" Kuroo said laughing. Kenma rolled his eyes and they headed back to the Nekoma dorms. Bokuto's laugh echoed in the hallway and Tsukishima was just grateful the actual practice wasn't starting for another two hours so he could nap.

"Welcome all to the intercollegiate training camp for 2020! We are glad to have you all here!" The man running the camp said. He was an older athletic coach and was going to assist with match setup and drills, though individual matches and team practices would be run by each respective coach.

"Sorry I'm late, I got stuck in traffic!" You said running into the gym, tossing your bag on the nearest bench.

"Ah! Glad to see you –" The older coach started before the yelling commenced.

"Y/N!!!" Bokuto shouted, running and spinning you around. Kuroo ran up as well and gave you a tight squeeze.

"GUYS STOP HOGGING HER!" Noya shouted before running up to squeeze a hug in as well.

It seemed all the older boys knew who you were, though Tsukishima had never seen you before. A few other guys shouted greetings and waved, from each team. You smiled and Tsukishima felt his body grow tingly. He rolled his neck and focused on the older coach, who began speaking again.

"As many of you know, this is Y/N. She's our resident medic and will be taking care of anything you guys need. Y/N, a few words?"

You grinned. "Hello guys! I'm glad to be back here. As Coach Sato said, I am Y/N, your medic. Please meet with me before you leave today to get my contact info in case anything occurs after hours and you need assistance. I'm in the Medic dorm, so feel free to come see me whenever!"

You bowed slightly and waved before turning back to the older man.

Tsukishima wasn't sure why he felt restless all of a sudden but he pushed it out of his mind as the coach discussed the agenda for the day.

----

Day one was grueling. The drills were tough and since everyone had vastly improved, everyone had to work harder to top each other. Tsukishima saw you a couple of times, discussing things with Coach Ukai and Coach Sato. You were always smiling, and it seemed everyone was drawn to you. You complimented Daichi on his receives, laughed with Tanaka and Noya, and even got Kageyama to crack a smile. You were walking towards where Tsukishima stood when a guy from another team skidded across the floor, 

You jogged over to pull him up and check him over. Tsukishima couldn’t help but feel a pang of something...wash over him. Why was he so...aware of everything you did? You were just some girl whom he didn’t even know. Yet, like everyone else at the camp, he was drawn to you for some reason. He had to snap out of it. He put all his effort into playing for the rest of the session and even Daichi complimented his newfound energy.

They were wrapping up for the day and Tsukishima headed to the bench to grab some water when he felt a soft voice calling his name. He turned around and you grinned at him.

“You’re...Tsukishima Kei right? I’m Y/N! Sorry to bug you, I just wanted to give you my number.”

Tsukishima gulped, swallowing too much water. His face reddened as he tried not to spit up water all over you. You laughed, the sound pouring over his heart like warm honey, and patted him on the shoulder.

“Sorry! That sounded weird. It’s just in case something happens I can rush over if you need medical assistance. Sometimes you’ll get hurt in practice and walk it off only for the pain to worsen late at night or something. So don’t be afraid to text me any time of day, if needed.”

He nodded and handed you his phone. You input your number and smiled before heading over to speak with the coaches again. He looked at his phone.

Y/N 🚑 😉

Fuck.

----

“Tsukki!” Bokuto’s booming voice echoed across the hall. Tsukishima looked up from his book.

“Kuroo, Akaashi, Kenma, and I are gonna work on some blocks later. You should join us!” 

Tsukishima looked back down at his book. He was exhausted and about to tell Bokuto no until Kuroo walked into the room.

“Bo, I reserved the back gym and Y/N agreed to stay with us for practice tonight.” He said, tossing a volleyball in the air. “Tsukishima, you joining? Or are you too tired? I know you crows are weak.”

“Shut up, stupid cat. I’m fine and I need to practice some blocking anyway.” Tsukishima said a little too quickly.

Kuroo cocked an eyebrow. “You...you of all people are agreeing to extra practice? We have to drag you to spend time with us and now you are so...eager? Interesting…”

Kenma, who was behind him smashing buttons on his Switch, smirked without looking up from his screen.

“Probably because of Y/N.”

Kuroo let out his classic hyena cackle, eyes wide.

“NO! You have a thing for Y/N?” He asked incredulously.

Bokuto’s jaw dropped. “TSUKKI YOU LOVE Y/N?!”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, trying to hide the blush creeping up his ears. 

“No I don’t LOVE Y/N. I don’t even know her.” Tsukishima said, trying to remain casual.

“You wouldn’t stop staring at her the entire day. Every time she was on your side of the court, you slammed on the ball like some final boss. Also, you choked on your water when she talked to you.” Kenma said, still engrossed in his game.

Tsukishima glared at him. Kenma ignored him, unfazed. 

Kuroo grinned wickedly.

“So, we have a new plan. Get Tsukishima to confess to Y/N.”

Bokuto clapped. ‘YEAH! Tsukki, you gotta tell her how you feel.”

Tsukishima turned back to his book. “I don’t FEEL anything. I don’t even know her. I’ll see you guys tonight. To practice, not for some ridiculous love story.”

Kuroo and Bokuto shared a conspiratorial look.

Operation: Tsukki and Y/N was a go.

----

“Y/N! Fancy to see you here!” Bokuto said grinning mischievously. You furrowed your brow.

“Did Kuroo not tell you I was going to join you guys tonight?” You turned toward the raven-haired boy, who glared at Bokuto.

“Yes, Bokuto just doesn’t listen. Anyway, we are just waiting for one more...there you are!” Kuroo threw a megawatt smile to someone behind you. You spun around to come face to chest with Tsukishima. His gaze narrowed as he looked down at you. You gave a small smile and cautiously stepped back.

“Oh! Tsukishima. I didn’t realize you’d be joining! Great, because I don’t know if I can handle these four by themselves.” You smiled, gesturing to Kuroo, Kenma, Bokuto, and Akaashi. 

Kuroo tossed a volleyball up in the air. “Now that we are all here, let’s practice.” You took this as your cue, to head to the sidelines and finish up work for the day. Once you were safely out of earshot, Kuroo leaned in towards Tsukishima.

“‘This is your chance. Show her how good you play. We’ll even go easy on you!”

Tsukishima shook his head.

“I’m not here for some girl. I’m here to get better and improve. Play me to win or don’t play.” His honey-tinted eyes held a fire behind them that Kuroo had never seen before. He shrugged and the boys split up on either side of the net to start practicing.

You watched them from the sidelines, while filling out your reports for the day. You knew most of the guys from previous training camps. Tsukishima, being a first year, hadn’t met you until today and you didn’t get a whole lot of time to interact with him throughout practice so you could tell he still hadn’t warmed up to you just yet.

You watched as the guys jumped, and methodically blocked the ball from scoring on their respective sides. It was amazing to see really, especially because you knew these guys outside of the court. Akaashi, who was one of the sweetest people you knew, was slamming the ball over the net like a man in war. Bokuto, who normally was all over the place, was hyper focused on preventing the ball from passing the wall of him and Tsukishima. Even Kenma, who normally showed very little passion outwardly, did an impressive dig to stop the ball from hitting the floor.

You tried to gauge some sort of personality from Tsukishima. He was methodical, calculating every move from each member and putting himself in a way that forced his opponents to do what he wanted. His demeanor changed from apathetic to focused and driven and for a first year, he had a lot of skill. You hadn’t had a chance to really gauge who he was outside of a first impression so you made a mental note to focus more on him in the coming week.

Your phone buzzed, pulling you away from the practice.

Yūji : hey bbygirll ;P

You rolled your eyes. Terushima was always overly flirtatious, though harmless.

Y/N: Hey Yuuji, what’s up?

Yūji : throwing a party ths wknd N u better goooo ;)

Y/N: mmm...maybe. Who’s all going to be there?

Yūji : literally evry1. Tendou n Ushiwaka, Oikawa  (🤢) and those guys from Seijoh, some guys from inarizaki, maybe some from ur training camp thing, and YOU

Y/N: FINE. But I might bring backup since last time I had to take care of your drunk ass.

Yūji : :D can’t wait to see you

“Y/N!” 

You looked up. The guys had finished their practice and were staring at you. 

“Sorry, Terushima was talking about some party this weekend. You guys going?”

Kuroo nodded, “Thought about dragging Kenma to it. You going?”

You shrugged. “Maybe. I’ll go if you guys go, because I don’t wanna have to deal with that mess alone again.”

Bokuto laughed. “We should go together then. It will be a good way to end this week.”

He looked at Tsukishima. 

“You have to go with us Tsukki!”

Tsukishima shook his head. “No way. A party with loud, obnoxious drunk people? I’m fine, thanks.”

You giggled. 

“Come on Tsukishima! It’ll be nice to blow off steam from this week, plus I’d kill to see you at a party.”

Tsukishima looked over at you, his expression unreadable.

“Fine.” 

-----

The rest of the week was tough but fun. You got to see all the boys improve, and you even managed to get Tsukishima to crack a smile a few times. You couldn’t deny that you were showing a slight favoritism toward the tall blonde. You told yourself it was because he was so difficult to reach, but you couldn’t help but seek him out in each practice.

Turns out you didn’t have to look far today.

“Medic!” Coach Ukai shouted. You looked up from your clipboard and saw a group of boys crowded in the Karasuno area. You jogged over there and the boys cleared.

Tsukishima was standing in the center of the circle, clutching his hand. You could see it was red, swollen, and bleeding. You pulled on gloves, and started inspecting it, gently squeezing and prodding to see where the pain was at.

You pushed on his knuckle and he let out a low groan. 

“Ouch. It looks like you may have dislocated this. Come with me back to the medic bay, and I’ll patch you up.” You led him by the elbow to your office. He remained silent but you could hear his breathing had become heavy.

You motioned for him to sit in the chair as you started pulling out different creams and aids to ease the bleeding first. 

He hissed as you applied pressure to his finger.

“Sorry, Tsukishima. It’s just to stop the bleeding so we can start working on your knuckle. This is going to sting okay? So keep your eyes on mine.”

Your voice was soothing and he felt his heart slow down as you started pulling out some sort of tonic. You looked up at him and he tried to focus on anything else but the blush creeping on his face. You smiled at him and then…

“FUCK!”

The tonic you sneakily applied on his wound BURNED. You held his hand firmly, while avoiding the injured area.

“Don’t move too much or you could hurt yourself worse.” You said while wrapping a small bandage around his finger.

Your hands felt so delicate in his. He almost forgave you for the stinging. Almost.

“Okay, let’s look at the swelling. Can you move it at all?”

He tried and his finger gave a pathetic twitch.

“Okay, so that’s not broken. I think we’ll just splint it up, but you may want to follow up with your doctor if it becomes more of an issue after a couple of days.”

“Can I still play?” He asked. 

“Definitely not today, but you should be good to go by next week. Unfortunately, you’ll be out for the rest of this week.” You gave him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”

He exhaled slowly and nodded, though you could tell he was disappointed, which surprised you a little. You busied yourself putting away your tools and pulling out the wraps. “So you really like volleyball huh? Wait…sorry, of course you do. Just…I didn’t peg you for being so passionate.” Face burning, you turned around digging in a cabinet.

“I’m not like Bokuto or Hinata, if that’s what you mean.” His voice was quiet and you snuck a glance back at him. He was staring at his finger. You waited for him to continue but he stayed silent.

Grabbing the supplies you needed you sat in front of him and pulled your tray next to you. “Yeah those two can be a little…enthusiastic.” You laughed and reached for his hand. He hesitated a moment and you grinned. “No more tonics, I promise.”

His hand dwarfed yours and he felt his mouth go dry as you delicately ran bandages over the injury. Why did he suddenly become hyper aware of how close your knee was to his? He looked away, blood rushing in his ears. He suddenly realized it had gotten silent and you were looking at him. Fuck. “Uh, sorry.”

You smiled, that smile that made his hands tingle with electricity. “I was just asking if you were excited about the party this weekend.” 

Fuck, The party.

“I know, it can be a lot. But I’m glad you’re going. I’m excited to see you in party mode.” You winked and he felt his heart stop for a second. “Anyway, you’re all done.” You let go of his hand and he tried to push away the emptiness it felt now. “I’ll let Coach Ukai know and I’ll see you this weekend.”

—-

“Hey Tsukki…how was your chat?” Kuroo sidled up to Tsukishima who was sipping water on the bench. Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

Bokuto slid on the opposite side, sandwiching Tsukishima in the middle. “So did you tell Y/N you love her?” 

Tsukishima glared at him. "No. And I don't love her. She just bandaged my finger."

"Oooh romantic. You guys were in there for a while." Kuroo said, winking. Tsukishima forced himself not to look in your direction, instead focusing intently on his water bottle. 

A whistle blew and the guys headed to their respective teams. Tsukishima allowed his gaze to wander over to you. You were looking at your phone, a small smile on your face. You must have felt his gaze because you looked up, meeting his eyes. You shot him a small grin, before you were distracted by Lev tripping on a mat. 

Tsukishima looked back down at the bandage wrapped neatly around his finger.

"Fuck."

—-

"Okay boys. We gotta make sure Tsukki looks good." Kuroo declared, dragging Kenma, Bokuto, and Akaashi behind him. 

Tsukishima looked up from his book. "What are you talking about?"

"The party tonight. You have to dress to impress. You want Y/N to fall for you, don't you?" Bokuto said, rummaging through the closet. Kuroo looked Tsukishima up and down. "Is that what you're wearing?"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. "Yes. I don't need fashion advice from a rooster and an owl, thanks." He didn't mention that he had gone through three different shirts before settling on the current one he was wearing.

"He looks fine. We better get going anyway." Akaashi said, looking at his phone. Kuroo looked at Tsukishima smugly.

"Don't worry. She's meeting us there. So we can pep talk you on the way."

Tsukishima grabbed his jacket. "You are delusional. There's nothing between us." He turned away, trying to ignore the buzzing in his stomach. The guys headed to Bokuto's car, piling in as Bokuto drove to the party. 

—-

Bass boomed from the house and people were strewn everywhere. Tsukishima saw a few people he recognized as he walked in. Oikawa and his cronies laughing in the corner, the Miya twins dominating the beer pong table. Kuroo led them to Terushima, who was doing a shot of an amber liquid.

"Yo, where's Y/N?" Kuroo asked. Terushima made a face as the liquid went down, before pointing to the staircase. Tsukishima turned.

You looked incredible. Your hair was down from its usual ponytail, and it spilled down your back in long waves. You wore a tight shirt and jeans that hugged all of your curves and had that gorgeous smile on your face. You were standing next to Ushijima, listening intently to him discuss something before you nodded, replying back with something that made the large man smile. 

"Oi Y/N!!" Bokuto yelled, and you turned, blinking at the interruption. You excused yourself from Ushijima and walked to where the guys were standing. 

"Hey guys! Glad you finally made it-" You started before Osamu Miya tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and he gave you a tight hug. "Hey come be my partner for this. `Tsumu got Suna and he's scary good." You nodded before waving a quick goodbye to the guys and followed Osamu to the beer pong table. 

"Don't worry Tsukki, she's just really popular. We need drinks." Bokuto said, dragging Tsukishima to the cooler in the kitchen. Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. "I'm not worried. I didn't come here for some girl."

Bokuto fished two beers out of the cooler, handing Tsukishima one. "Exactly. Play it cool. Girls love that." 

A cheer came from the beer pong table and Tsukishima glimpsed Osamu carrying you in a celebratory hug. 

"Tch."

Kuroo sidled up next to him. "Miya's been desperate forever. She won't give him a chance. In other news, Oikawa brought his fan club with him." He rolled his eyes, gesturing to the gaggle of girls that were whispering next to the pack of Seijoh boys. They were all young, way too young to be at this college party and definitely overdressed. Oikawa and his crew barely gave them a second look, choosing instead to laugh amongst themselves.

The tall one, Mattsukawa, Tsukishima thought his name was, turned to Oikawa and whispered something before stalking toward the table.

As Tsukishima watched, he headed toward you. He saw a glimpse pass between Osamu and him before Matsukawa approached you. You listened, before nodding and laughing, turning to say something to Osamu and walking back to Oikawa's group. Oikawa's fans shot daggers at you, as you hugged Oikawa and talked animatedly with the group. Tsukishima frowned into his drink. You were friendly with everybody. He didn't know why he had let Kuroo get into his head.

The room felt hot and he slipped out the back door. The cool night air was refreshing on his skin. The house was near a dock, which was probably not the safest for drunk people, but it was quiet. Tsukishima walked along the wooden planks, the party sounds dying down as he moved further away.

The moon was bright, reflected on the water. He remembered an old story his mom used to tell him, something about a kingdom on the moon. He sipped his drink. 

"There you are."

He turned around. You walked towards him and sat next to him at the edge of the dock. He became very aware of how alone you both were out here.

"I was looking for you. Guess parties aren't really your thing, huh?" You laughed, pulling a bottle of water out and taking a sip.

He shook his head. "People aren't really my thing." He cringed internally. Why did he sound so pretentious?

"I definitely understand that." You nodded, looking out towards the water.

He blinked. "You seem pretty popular." 

As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt his ears burn. Now you would think he was some crazy stalker, watching your every move. 

Surprisingly, you didn't seem fazed.

"I know a lot of people. It comes with the territory. But, sometimes I feel like…I don't know. None of them really know me? Ugh that sounds cliche, I know." You groaned. 

He laughed, in spite of himself. "That does sound cliche." 

You laughed. "Tsukishima! You're supposed to pretend I said something profound, not agree with me!"

Tsukishima shrugged, biting back a smile. He liked the way his name sounded on your tongue. You said it almost like a song, Tsukishima. 

You scooted closer to him on the dock. "But cliches are cliches for a reason, right? There's some truth to them, I think." Your arms wrapped tightly around yourself and you shivered. 

Tsukishima unzipped his jacket and draped it over you. "Here. Aren't medics supposed to be prepared for anything?"

You smiled, grateful for the warmth. "Well yeah, but then we can't steal jackets from grumpy volleyball players." You teased.

You were inches apart now. Tsukishima could see the glitter in your lip gloss, reflecting the moonlight. Your lips looked really soft. He felt his face burn and turned away, grateful for the darkness. 

The wind blew a heavy breeze and he shivered in spite of himself. Without a second thought, you wrapped your arms around him. 

His pulse raced. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears and smell the sweet perfume you wore as it enveloped him. He froze and felt you shrink back.

"Sorry! I thought, since I stole your jacket I…uh…" You stammered and a buzzing noise came from your pocket. You fumbled with your phone and answered it. 

"Yeah. What?! No. No. So? Why did you- no please. Well can anyone else-? Uh-huh. But- I-..." You frowned as the line went dead. You looked upset, your brow furrowed and bit your lip. 

"Um, so that was Kuroo. Bokuto got drunk and threw up in the car and so he asked me to take you to the dorms since they don't have room. Um…yeah." You trailed off, fidgeting with the zipper on the jacket you wore. 

Tsukishima got the feeling you were not excited about spending time in a car with him. 

"I can just find a ride."

Your eyes widened. "No! I mean, I don't mind. We are going to the same place. Um, here's your jacket. I parked uh, pretty close so we can just head there right now." You hopped up, yanking his jacket off and handing it to him stiffly. He blinked and took it from your hands. You avoided his gaze and you led the way to your car. 

"Door is unlocked." You said and he opened the door. A waft of your perfume, that damned intoxicating scent, washed over him. He squeezed into the passenger seat and you fiddled with the radio, tuning to an old rock station before checking your mirrors and backing out.

Your hands drummed on the steering wheel as you drove, determined to not look at Tsukishima. He looked out the window, the tension in the car thick.

What happened to make you switch your mood so fast? You seemed jumpy, almost in fear of him and he was 1000% sure you would rather be anywhere else. 

You pulled into the parking lot of the dorms and stared straight ahead, your knuckles white. Tsukishima waited a moment before undoing his seatbelt.

"Er, thanks."

You nodded, still avoiding eye contact.

"Of course, no problem. Sleep well." He closed your door quietly so as to not disturb the dorms and slipped into his room.

You finally sighed, looking at your passenger seat where his dark jacket laid on the seat.

"Fuck."

—

Tsukishima quietly slipped through his door and flicked on the light.

"Hey hey hey how was it?!" Bokuto yelled and Akaashi shushed him. Tsukishima stumbled back.

"What the hell?"

Kuroo clapped him on the shoulder. "I told you, we got your back. So did you kiss her??" Even Kenma looked up from his game.

Tsukishima frowned. "No. What the hell? I thought you were drunk." He said, pointing at Bokuto.

Akaashi smiled. "Of course not. I wouldn't let him get drunk and drive." Bokuto nodded solemnly.

Kuroo shot his signature cat-like grin. “We told a tiny white lie. But more importantly, did you make a move?!”

The boys waited impatiently. Tsukishima sat down on his bed.

“No.”

Bokuto jumped up. “What?! Why Tsukki????” He cried out, Akaashi desperately trying to shush him.

Kuroo stared incredulously at Tsukishima. “What? Why not? You two looked cozy on the dock!” 

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. “How did you see us at the dock?”

Kenma shrugged, turning back to his game. “It’s a Pokestop. I was trying to catch a Wartortle.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. He looked at his phone, scrolling past your contact info, the winking emoji taunting him from the small screen.

Kuroo sat down beside him. “What happened, bro?”

Tsukishima took a deep breath.

“Nothing. We talked on the dock and then she got really weird and distant and it was very clear she did not want to give me a ride, thanks for that by the way, and she drove us here and barely spoke to me. She didn’t even look at me when I left.”

Three pairs of eyes stared at him stunned. 

“Wait, what? She was VERY clearly into you based on the picture Kenma sent us.” Kuroo said, scrolling through his phone. “Look.”

He pulled up a picture of you and Tsukishima sitting very close on the dock. It was blurry and far away but he could make out the image of you in midlaugh. If he hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have believed that was the same girl who barely spoke two words the entire drive home.

“I don’t know! She just started stuttering and wouldn’t talk to me.” Tsukishima said, exasperated.

Bokuto looked close to tears. Akaashi hummed. “Well what happened before she started acting strange?”

Tsukishima thought back. “She was shivering because she was dumb and didn’t bring a jacket. I lent her mine and we were fine. And then she hugged me and when she pulled away she got distant.”

The room was silent. Then Kenma spoke up. “Did you hug her back?”

Kuroo laughed. “Of course he did Kenma, what kind of question is that?” He looked at Tsukishima and then frowned. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

Even Bokuto looked aghast. “You didn’t hug her back? She gives great hugs, what the hell, Tsukki!”

Akaashi cleared his throat. “I think what they are trying to say is, that was a stupid move. She thinks you rejected her.”

Tsukishima frowned. “What?! I didn’t have time to react. She was hugging me and I just…I froze, okay? I don’t do well with that stuff. By the time I realized what was happening, she was already handing me my jacket.”

Bokuto facepalmed. Kuroo grabbed Tsukishima by the shoulders, shaking him. “YOU LET HER GIVE YOUR JACKET BACK?!” 

Akaashi groaned. “So now she thinks you rejected her and probably only gave her your jacket out of necessity.” 

Even Kenma looked annoyed. “Practice is going to be weird tomorrow.”

Kuroo looked over at Tsukishima and frowned. “Wait, where’s your jacket?”

Tsukishima looked down.

“Fuck.”

—--

Tsukishima woke up and stared at the ceiling. Coach Ukai pounded at his door. 

“Up and at ‘em! Just because you’re finger’s broken doesn’t mean you can stay in bed!”

He sighed, throwing on his practice gear. He stared at his phone, willing a text to come in from you. Or maybe you would just pretend he didn’t exist. That might be helpful too. He stared at the ground.

Ukai pounded at the door again and Tsukishima sighed.

When he got to the gym, he glanced at the area you usually worked, near the coaches. There was no sign of you. He re-tied his laces, fiddling with the knots. 

“She’s not here yet.” Kuroo muttered from behind him. Tsukishima looked up. “Weird, because she’s never late.” He looked pointedly at Tsukishima before he headed back to the Nekoma team and Tsukishima frowned. 

With each slam of the door, he expected to see you saunter in, laughing as you carried your clipboard. When Coach Sato blew his whistle, you still hadn’t arrived.

“Teams, we expect some good matches today. As you may have noticed, Y/N is not here today as she is under the weather. If you have any injuries, please reach out to Coach Itto here who will assist you for the day.”

A short man bowed to the teams and Coach Sato blew the whistle again. 

Tsukishima headed to the area where Karasuno was stretching. Nishinoya was talking to Tanaka.

“Sucks that Y/N is sick today. I was gonna show her my new receive.” He said and Tanaka nodded. 

“I heard there was some wild party last night. Maybe she’s hungover?” He guessed, laughing. Sugawara, who was stretching next to them, frowned. “I doubt it. She’s responsible and wouldn’t do something like that. I hope she feels better soon.” He noticed Tsukishima staring. “Tsukishima, aren’t you two friends? If you see her, tell her we hope she feels better.”

Tsukishima looked down, saved by Ukai’s whistle. 

—-

Your phone buzzed.

Bokuto: Hey Hey! Are you feeling okay?

You smiled at the screen, typing a message back before collapsing onto your pillow.

Y/N: I’m okay, just a little under the weather. How about you?

Bokuto: I’m doing great! I gotta go tho because Akaashi is staring at me. Bye!

You grinned. He was definitely cheery for a person so drunk he threw up in his own car the night before. You sank back into bed.

You knew it was a coward’s solution, avoiding Tsukishima by missing practice. But ugh, you felt like an idiot. You were sure he liked you, he gave you his jacket for crying out loud. But then when you stupidly made a move, he just…stared at you. You shivered thinking about his look when you let go of him. Ugh, he probably thought you were some lovestruck schoolgirl. 

You groaned, covering your face with your blanket. Peeking out from under the covers, you spotted his jacket on your desk. He had been so freaked out, he left it in your car. Now it taunted you as a reminder of how you threw yourself, literally, at him.

—- 

The last whistle blew in the gym and Tsukishima grabbed his water bottle as he turned to leave. He ran smack into Hinata.

“Oi Saltyshima! Watch where you are going!” The tangerine yelled at him, rubbing his head. Hinata carried a box in his other hand. 

“What’s that?” Tsukishima asked, gesturing to the box. Hinata smiled wide.

“We are going to take snacks to Y/N’s dorm so she feels better. You want to come with us?”

A few other boys perked up from their respective teams, including unfortunately, Bokuto and Kuroo. Kuroo sidled up next to Tsukishima.

“He would love to go, RIGHT TSUKISHIMA?” He turned, glaring at the blonde. Bokuto stood on the other side of him, boxing him in. Tsukishima sighed, taking the box from Hinata’s hand.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

Hinata glared at him. “No way. You don’t get to take credit for these snacks!” 

Tsukishima stared down at him. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Daichi came between them. “Tsukishima will tell her that they are from you. But we shouldn’t all go. It will overwhelm her.” He looked knowingly at Tsukishima. “I think Tsukishima should go alone.”

Tsukishima looked down at the box. He shrugged. 

“Fine.”

—-

The walk to your dorm was long. Tsukishima dreaded having to face you. You probably hated him, which he didn’t mind from other people, but didn’t want that from you. When he thought of your eyes scrunching up when you laughed, the way your hand felt over his…it made his stomach hurt. He finally could delay the trip no longer. He reached the medic dorm and knocked.

It was silent. He waited a moment before knocking again.

“Y/N?” he called. No answer.

He looked at the box in his hand. Should he just leave it here? Should he leave a note? He heard voices coming towards your dorm and turned around.

You were walking with Osamu Miya, that damned smile on your face. You laughed at something Osamu said before you noticed Tsukishima standing there.

“Tsukishima! Um, what are you doing here?” You looked at the box in his hand.

He shoved the box into your hands, not meeting your eyes.

“Hinata sent these for you and says he hopes you feel better.” He turned around, walking quickly back to his dorm, ignoring your calls of his name.

—

Tsukishima ignored his phone as it buzzed on his desk. He tried to focus on his book, where he had re-read the same line at least 5 times. His phone buzzed again and he glanced at the screen.

He didn’t know whether to be relieved or frustrated that it wasn’t a text from you. On one hand, he wanted you to feel guilty. But on the other hand, what did you have to feel guilty for? You weren’t together. You could talk or date anyone you wanted, even Osamu Miya, though he didn’t know why you would choose him. The guy had grey hair and was just as annoying as his stupid brother.

A knock at his door broke him from his thoughts.

“Oi Tsukishima, open up!” It was Kuroo. 

He tried to ignore the door, focusing back on his book. He banged on the door again.

“Tsukki, I know you are in there and I will wait here all night.”

Tsukishima groaned, getting up to answer the door.

“What?”

Kuroo barged in, followed by Kenma, Bokuto, Akaashi, and surprisingly, Daichi. The guys stood in a weird semicircle around Tsukishima’s bed.

“Well, what happened?” Kuroo asked. Bokuto nodded, looking excited. “Did you finally apologize for being an idiot?”

Daichi nodded. “They filled me in. Please tell me you fixed this.”

Tsukishima sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Everything is fine. She was out and got there when I was about to leave and I gave her the stupid box.”

Akaashi looked at him. “What did you talk about?”

Tsukishima shrugged. “We didn’t. She was with Osamu Miya and they were coming back from somewhere so I just handed her the box and told her it was from Hinata.”

Daichi, Kuroo, and Bokuto groaned. Akaashi stared at him, disappointed. Kenma was focused on his game.

“Well, did you declare your love for her? Kiss her in front of him or something?” Bokuto asked and Tsukishima rolled his eyes. 

“No. Clearly she’s over whatever happened. The end. She’s with Osamu. Can we stop this stupid romantic comedy bullshit?” Tsukishima said, frustrated. 

Kuroo grabbed his shoulders. “Tsukishima! She would never choose Osamu. That guy has been chasing her for YEARS and she has never said yes. She missed practice today because you were a dummy who hurt her feelings. You need to go make this right!”

Daichi nodded solemnly. “Tsukishima, you don’t understand. There’s something big there between you two. Everyone can see it. The tension between you two is insane. Osamu probably called her at a time when she was vulnerable and hurt. You need to tell her how you feel.”

Tsukishima looked at the guys. Even Kenma was nodding along. Tsukishima groaned and sighed.

There was a knock at his door.

“Who is that?” Kuroo whispered. Tsukishima shrugged. “Probably Hinata to ask about the snacks.” He answered the door.

You stood there, shivering and wet, holding a plastic bag.

“Hey!”

Tsukishima closed the door.

“Was that her?” Daichi asked and Tsukishima nodded. 

“Open the door idiot!” Kuroo hissed. Akaashi pointed to the bathroom and the rest of the boys silently herded into the small room. Tsukishima swallowed hard and re-opened the door.

“Hi.”

You shivered again and he blinked. “Shit, sorry er, come in.”

You gave a small smile and stepped into the room. He grabbed a towel from the small closet and handed it to you.

“Um, here.”

Taking it, you nodded. “Thanks. Sorry it rained on me when I was walking here.” You quickly tried to dry your dripping hair. The room was silent except for the occasional droplets of water.

“Um, I uh, I brought your jacket.” You said, extending the bag to him. 

He looked at your outstretched arm and silently took the bag from you.

“Thanks.” He placed the bag on his desk. 

The two of you were silent again. Then you both began.

“About–”

“So–”

You laughed. “Um, you go ahead.”

He swallowed hard.  “I guess you are feeling better.”

Inside the bathroom, Kuroo facepalmed silently.

You nodded. “Uh, yeah. I was just feeling really uh, weird this morning.”

The room got quiet again and you concentrated very hard on the floor tiles. He spoke first.

“I’m really bad at this.”

You looked up. “Bad at what?”

He sighed and fiddled with his fingers.

“I’m not a person who talks about feelings. Or very good at reciprocating them…appropriately? I feel things, obviously, but–” he trailed off.

“I’m sorry I hugged you. I thought I was getting a vibe but then I saw how you reacted and it made me realize you do not like me like that. I shouldn’t have been presumptuous.” You said quickly. Your face was flushed.

He blinked.

“I do though.”

Your eyes met his. “What?”

He nodded. “Like you, I mean. In that way.” His face was reddening and you had the urge to kiss his cheeks.

You stared at him. “Wait what? But you–” 

He sighed. “I froze. I told you. I’m not good at expressing these things and it was overwhelming, a cute girl on top of me.”

You blushed, then frowned. “I was not ON TOP of you.”

He smirked. “Yeah, you kind of were.”

You pouted, and he had the strongest desire to kiss your lips. “Tsukishima, I was NOT on top of you!”

He cocked his head to the side. “Are you calling me a liar, Miss ‘called in sick to work today’?”

Your mouth fell open in mock offense. “Tsukishima Kei, you are a mean guy.”

He smirked, again. Stupidly handsome mean guy, you thought.

“JUST KISS ALREADY!” a voice from the bathroom startled the two of you. You turned to the noise and Tsukishima grabbed your face, surprising you with a kiss. Your eyes widened in shock before you melted into his embrace. His lips were soft and you felt fireworks exploding in the back of your brain as all the stupid drama floated away for this moment.

You didn’t even notice the trail of boys leaving the bathroom, Kuroo stopping to shoot a thumbs up at the two of you.

“God I love training camps.”

[officialparentofadrien]

𝑲𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒐𝒏 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅! 𝑭𝒆𝒎 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Just watched Baywatch again and OMG C.J. is SO PRETTY I got so inspired and remembered that Kagami surfs so here you go. This is set after the Vorpal Swords movie by the way. I was listening to "Accidentally In Love" by Counting Crows (Yes from the Shrek movie it slaps) because I just feel the vibe fits this idea so much <3 Or No Lie by Dua Lipa and Sean Paul works too <3

Pairing: Kagami Taiga x Fem Reader Warnings: Curse words Genre: Fluff. Might get suggestive idk.

The beaches of California especially Los Angeles were always crowded. Whether that's on weekdays and most especially on weekends and holidays. The white sand beaches were always filled with portable lounge chairs, towels, umbrellas, and sunbathing people of all ages.

And most of all, It was Kagami's favourite place to be after coming back to America earlier that year. Whenever he wasn't at school or playing basketball, he would be surfing the waves at the local beach. No better way to spend your free time than going against big ass waves that could potentially swallow you whole and drag you down to the deepest depths of the ocean. If you had to ask him about his favourite beach? Definitely Malibu. Not only are the waves large enough that you can surf but also because you're there. The attractive and beautiful lifeguard. You were also a student, like him from what he's heard and you're only a part-timer there. But my oh my did he love seeing you.

He actually thought of pretending to drown but he knew that he wouldn't be able to convince you especially after you just saw how agile he is even in the water, even complimenting his surfing skills!

Kagami knew that if he wanted to take you out on a date, he would have to do it the classic way.

It was Saturday and he didn't have practice. He decided to catch a bus to go to the beach and catch some waves, trying to convince himself that it was just because he wants to surf even if he knows, deep down, that a huge factor of why he actually wanted to go is because he wanted to see you. He hopped off the bus and inhaled the scent of the seaside, the sounds of the waves and the chatter of the locals and tourists. He dropped off his bag somewhere he could see it and slipped his shirt off. The redhead looked around and to your usual post if you were there, but he couldn't see you anywhere. He sighed but decided to go on with his plans anyway.

“Hey, Cassanova~! Lookin’ for name?” f/bf teased as she passed by him, making the redhead roll his eyes.

f/bf had known about his (not so) little crush on you for AGES. She never failed to notice how Kagami’s gaze would linger a little longer on your figure or how he would instinctively search the beach for you and sigh in disappointment once he realizes you were not there. And she also never failed to tease him about it in your absence. 

“Get out of my hair.” He said, his face heating up as he grabbed his surfboard to go catch some waves.

It was f/bf’s turn to roll her eyes as she watched him jog over to the water. She was so so tired of playing middle-woman between the two of you. She’s been watching you two ogle at each other for MONTHS and you still haven’t gotten past the small, fleeting talks. 

Meanwhile, you were actually supposed to be on the beach. But traffic caught you on the way and thankfully, you didn’t have to worry about your superiors yelling at you because you had informed them ahead of time. Once you arrived, you jogged to the locker rooms and hurriedly changed into your swimsuit before sprinting to your post. 

“I’m so sorry I was late, Jeana!” You said to your coworker, with who you would exchange shifts. She smiled in understanding,

“It’s okay! No biggie~” She said before you watched her form disappear.

You took your place and monitored the beach. Your shift was gonna be a little longer today. It wasn’t too hot that you were sweating like a sinner in church but not too cold that your lips would turn blue. It was a bit windy though and the tides were a bit higher than usual but thankfully, most visitors were professional swimmers, athletes, and surfers. But it was still your job to make sure that they will only be leaving the beach with good and happy memories. You had to stand up a few times since there were still kids that underestimated the tide but thankfully, they were all fine. 

A few hours into your shift, your best friend’s voice was heard as she slid next to you, handing you your favourite snack and a cold drink. “Guess who I saw today~?”

You scoffed playfully, “That British Girl you’ve been flirting with since she arrived?”

F/bf gasped, hitting your arm, “Gosh no! I wish... But not the point! I saw Taiga today!” She said excitedly, knowing your not-so-secret crush on the basketball player.

Your figure visibly lightened up, eyes started to twinkle. This didn’t go unnoticed by the girl next to you as she smirked, “12 o’clock,” She said suddenly, catching your attention.

You became alert, thinking that your friend was pertaining to an emergency, a drowning person maybe as you stood up abruptly, grabbing your binoculars and trying to look in that direction.

“I didn’t know you were that eager to see him.” f/bf whispered next to you as you removed the binoculars and came face to face with Kagami’s figure rising from the waters, his surfboard held in one arm and pressed against his hips as water droplets ran on his body, just meters away from you.

“Oh,” You muttered absentmindedly. 

Your gaze lingered longer than it should as you watched him take a towel to dry himself with.

“You should probably go ask him out. Your shift’s ending in…right now actually. Ask him to go grab a bite to eat with you.” f/bf encouraged you.

You looked at her, then back to Kagami, then back to her again before you looked at the clock. She was right. Your shift’s over. You thanked her before you went and jogged towards the basketball player, feeling your heart hammer in your chest as you got closer to him.

His back was facing you so he didn’t see you coming, but he did sense a presence behind him. He turned to look at you, expecting your menace of a friend but his eyes met yours. You were smiling so sweetly at him, your hair already a little dry but still a little wet, clad in your lifeguard uniform.

“Hey,” You greeted him, grinning in his direction. 

“Hey..”

You giggled at his awkwardness, finding it adorable. “So my shift’s over… And I was wondering if you wanted to get a bite to eat. My treat. Like…a date,” 

Kagami’s mouth hung open as his gaze flicked to your previous post, seeing your best friend holding a thumbs-up with a grin on her face. 

His lips curled upwards, face heating up as he nodded, “Sure yeah. I’d love that.” 

You perked up, smile widening as you said, “Great! I’ll just change out of my swimsuit and we can go.” Kagami nodded as he watched you skip over to the locker room, with your best friend high-fiving you on the way. He couldn’t help but feel giddy. He just couldn’t believe it! He was gonna go out with his crush, from the beach! He honestly thought you were out of his league. 

But now? Sitting across you at a local diner that serves THE BEST burgers in town? Maybe he did have a chance with you after all. You did ask him out. 

𝑴𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

𝑲𝑵𝑩 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

[wonopia]

THE PHOTOBOOTH | 005. GROUND RULES

[WC] . 866 prev ! mlist ! next

it had been several days since misaki and sunghoon started dating.

BOYFIE 🤍 : are you heading here soon?

they were planning on discussing the rules of they’re relationship. which he thought was completely stupid but are going to do anyway because she refuses to date him without any rules, boundaries must be set. which is why she’s meeting up with him at the library to discuss the rules before working on english.

“hey minji,” misaki greeted her, signing in on the sheet of paper. she grinned when she saw sunghoon had already signed in.

“sunghoon went over there,” minji pointed, “how’d you get him to show up?”

misaki shrugged in response before jogging over to the pointed location on the right side of the library.

she stopped in her tracks when she saw two boys sitting across from him. sunghoon’s eyes met hers before smiling widely, even to her it looked genuine.

she immediately walked over to him, smiling at his friends before asking, “is it okay if i borrow him for a second?”

“oh yeah sure.”

“yeah.”

misaki grabbed him by his wrist to take him to an empty aisle so they were hidden by the many books.

she turned to face him before whispering, “we have to study!”

“we can study with my friends,” he smiled.

“no, no, no, no thats not how this works,” she signaled to whatevers going on between them, “we’re dating so no one thinks your weird for being tutored by the ‘no social life princess’, remember?” she reminded him.

his smile dropped at her words, “that’s not what i meant.”

“it doesn’t matter, you already said it. there's no more adding onto whatever this is. we date so i can tutor you without feeling uncomfortable-“

“i’ll feel uncomfortable if you teach me anywhere on campus!”

“that’s so stupid!” misaki groaned, attempting to keep her voice down.

“if you want to tutor me in the library, it can’t look like a one on one.”

“but i’m your ‘girlfriend’” she sighed, “remember our story plot? what’s the point in dating if you don’t want other people to believe it?”

“ugh fine,” he mumbled, “so let’s introduce you to my friends-“

“not today, it’s too soon.”

“fine, meet me in front of the school,” he said, she looked at him confused, “we’ll study at my house.”

“your sister..”

“she’s not home, she’s on the japan trip for a week.”

“oh okay.”

with that she walked out leaving him to go grab his stuff. as she was waiting for him outside of the school, she questioned why she was doing this in the first place. how much did she need this money?

“hey babe,” sunghoon wrapped his arm around her shoulder causing her to look at him.

she brushed off his shoulder, “for starters, number 1 no physical touch.”

“what?” his jaw dropped as they started to walk together on the sidewalk, “i can’t believe you just said that. how would anyone believe that we’re dating?”

“okay fine,” she mumbled, thinking of a way to modify it, “we can hold hands, kiss on various occasions- only when needed, and we can link arms but its a no to holding my waist and below.”

“okay fine,” he nodded, “but we can only study outside of school.”

“sure. rule number two, must post something about each other on our socials but don’t have to hang out at school 24/7,” sunghoon nodded, letting her continue, “number three no asking about my personal life.”

“hey wait a minute, how is anyone gonna believe that?”

she scoffed, “easy just respond with a blunt answer.”

“you're my girlfriend, if anything i should want to talk more about you, but i can’t do that if i don’t know you at all,” he replied.

“that’s the point, you don’t even know me yet you asked to date me.”

“it’s kind of for both of our sakes.”

“right,” she murmured, “before we continue, where are we going? where’d you park?”

“oh i walk to school, i can’t drive but it’s okay i live close enough that i don’t need to take the bus,” misaki thought about what to say but instead stuck to nodding.

“another rule, you must go to my ice skating performances.”

“depends the day-“

“i’m your boyfriend, just make time. you have to give me love and support.. and bring flowers sometimes,” he added on, a smile growing on his face.

“oh i’m sure you’d love my recognition.”

“actually yeah, i would especially since your-“

“since i’m your girlfriend, yeah so i heard,” she joked, cracking a smile as they entered a neighborhood nearby.

they continued to argue about rules and modified a couple to how they liked it. they soon arrived at sunghoon’s house. his house was clean and neat and was very white.

his room was especially cleaner than expected, it was basic but it was livable. they immediately got to work after writing down the list of dating rules. misaki used her black pen while sunghoon used a blue pen.

"okay but six is so obvious, none of us will fall in love."

"you say that now, sunghoon."

"what's the supposed to mean?"

"that your gonna fall for me."

"yeah sure, in your dreams, choi."

note: hehe

© wonopia 2024

open TAGLIST . @coffeeprincejaehyun @hoonatic @i03jae

[oakthefrog]

My Tribute to Shorts Wars

(Spoilers for all 3 seasons and the finale) (and chat istg I'm trying to keep this 'short' BUT I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS I JUST CAN'T)

I was a fan since day one. It was the first week of summer for me, after one of the worst school years I've ever had (at the time). It instantly became a hyperfixation.

One of my only memories from that summer was watching and rewatching shorts wars, being ecstatic for every video, it gave me a routine to follow and a community to stand behind.

That summer was possibly one of the hardest times of my life so far. Hell, the Dear Danno channel is probably a reason why I'm still here today. Shorts Wars got my through it.

The build-up to season two was probably the lowest point in my life, mentally, at least. The anticipation for a new wave of theorising, content and joy got me through it all.

I remember sitting on the school bus right after my final class would end, and I'd watch the everyone's short for the day on the way home. It was truly a 'you-had-to-be-there' thing for me.

The only reason I have a discord account is so I could join the boss's server, and on there I met my first internet friends, who I've stuck with ever since (if you're reading this guys, thanks for being so nice to me this whole time :]).

And tumblr, oh boy tumblr... I won't sugar coat it, it's been a hell of a ride that's for sure (in a good way, the best way possible). It wasn't that long ago that I was squealing over the moss arc 'final' fight and making my first roleplay blog (Joe Caine). And now I have like 11+ alt blogs, I've met A MUTUAL IRL (you were so cool to meet and talk to if ur reading this :3).

And oh boy this is long as fuck so I'm gonna wrap this up-

Season 3 came at a great time for me, I've made so many friends bc of this, my art's improved, my mental state has improved and this ARG has been my constant through all the shit I've gone through in the last 12 months (ish).

I've laughed, I've screamed, I've cried and I've almost thrown up out of fear, joy and overall sickness. All in the last 2 hours. I bet some quotes from the finale will engrain into my skull, become inside jokes and/or vocal stims and I hope I never forget any of it. The good, the bad and the scary.

From the bottom of my heart,

Thank you Rumble Pack and anyone who's worked on Shorts Wars. I hope you're as proud of what you did as we all are, and I hope YOU GET SOME SLEEP BECAUSE GOOD GOD-

-Oak (aka Alex bc signing this long-ass kinda depressing post off with a silly internet name seems odd-)

[fertilize-my-eggs]

The night stalker ch.3

Panties missing.

A03 ch.1 ch.2 ch.4 ch.5

Triggered warning: this chapter is graphic for others, viewer discretion is advised, I suggest you skip this chapter, it's violence and gore, shigaraki is unhinged in this chapter. Every chapter will be posted on Tuesday ❤️

“ BULLSHIT! ” Hearing bakugou scream in his native tongue as I see the police woman with a deadpan expression, Katsuki isn't having it.

“ sir we can't do anything about it until he does something harmful….”

“ So you're just gonna let it happen and let her get hurt? “ I was trying my best not to sob from the situation as Kirishima and Denki were rubbing my back.

“ Hey girl, everything is gonna be okay. We won't let the night stalker take you or harm you.. it's not very manly of him to do this crap. ”

“ Yeah dude, we're staying at your apartment for a couple of days. ” I sigh softly as I walk up towards Katsuki and the lady's argument.

“ Is there a way to track him like uhhh send one of your cops to my house to check in? ” The lady stared at me harshly as she groaned.

“ no, I'm sorry ma'am but the police are busy with important stuff. This criminal isn't that big of a deal. "We both had a shock expression as Katsuki went off on her.

“ WHAT?? What the hell do you even work there, you don't care about her and her safety. ”

“ sir you're disturbing- ”

“ I'm disturbing the peace??? Lady, you're rude as hell for saying that crap and this criminal has been on the news recently!! Are you out of your mind!?!? ”

I put a hand on his shoulder as I whispered to him “ katsuki… let's just go, they're not gonna help.” Bakugou sighs as we begin to leave.. that lady was rude, I rubbed my eyes as I felt tears coming out…. This is hopeless.

“ I need to go to class.. “ the guys look at each other in concern.

“ no you're not going to college today smiley, that police officer wasn't helpful at all.”

“ Bakubro, we should report it to the higher ups for her rude behavior. ” I sigh as I look downward. The night stalker flashed me and waved at me while I was on the bus… still this feeling unnerving running through my body as I'm being hopeful he doesn't target me.

But there were so many people that night stalker would pick… why me out of anyone there no way he chose me.

Being overweight, I've never experienced this kind of situation from my home country, I've never had to endure this.. this is just terrifying to think about.

“ Hey, we should tell the professor that you couldn't come today because of the situation that happened today, dude. ” Denki rubs my back as I sigh heavily.

I nodded my head as the guys pulled out their phones to tell the professor that they're not coming today.

I had to text my professor about it and he was okay and understood the situation.

Katsuki crossed his arms as he grumbled.” they should help you out about this, this is bullshit I tell ya.. they're ain't heros for pulling that crap. ” I nod my head in agreement.

“ Tell ya bro, we should get something to eat from today, we will make you feel better. " Kirishima says as I nod my head.

We walked to Kirishima's car as they wanted to go to their favorite restaurant that has the best ramen.

I've never been to this place as I begin to smile softly.

I couldn't help this feeling that… he could possibly go after me because of my appearance and an easy target… Because no one will take it seriously that I'm a chubby woman.

That's a harsh reality that we live in… Kirishima parked the car as we got out together.

We head inside as I had a feeling someone is watching us, I quickly look around.

It's an unnerving aura in my gut, everyone seems to have a great time enjoying this restaurant while me on other hand feel like a pair of eyes staring at the back of my head and it's heavy.

“ hey smiley, are ya okay? ” Katsuki had a worried look as I look at him with a small smile.

“... yeah I'm okay, it feels weird like I'm being watched. ” he nodded his head as he began to look at the surroundings.

We sat at the stools and I ordered a pork belly ramen.

The guys started to have a conversation while I smiled softly, I felt a buzz inside my pocket as I chose to ignore it.

Maybe it's just my mom asking me how Japan is.

Thinking about it, it's probably a light-hearted message since I didn't think much about it.

As the chief gives us ramen, I look at mine. It has a beautiful roast pork belly, two boiled eggs, seaweed and some sesame seeds on it.

“ woah dude that looks delicious!! ” Kirishima has a bright smile on his face as I begin to smile back.

It does look good, I begin to eat the food as the guys joke around and make light jokes.

Once we finish the ramen, we take off so they can drop me off at my apartment.

“ Are you sure, you don't want us to stay a little longer? ” Katsuki says as I head inside.

“ I think I'll be fine if anything happens, I'll call you kats.” he nods his head as the two guys look at each other.

“ There is our phone number too, if you need any help call us and we'll come in a hurry. " Kirishima say as he handed me a piece of paper with their numbers as I smiled.

“ Thanks guys, I definitely will. "They hugged me and told me everything will be fine.

I nod my head as I need to get some rest and relax… but I can't relax when there is a serial killer on the loose. I pull my phone out to check the message to see this in shock.

(Unknown number): hey you . . . The one that I saw you walk alone in the big pink sweater and white skirt. I love your reaction.

I just thought it was my mom's message at the restaurant. This is evidence for the police. But the cops can't do anything about it, I feel hopeless by this situation. How did this psycho get my phone number?!?

(Unknown number): I left you a little present for you in your bedroom. If you try it again, you'll never be seen by anyone. Do you understand me?

Bedroom? I quickly rushed to the bedroom to my shocked horror. On the bed was a present and I felt like I was gonna throw up from the food.

A pool of blood covers the sheet around the gift as my shake hand opens the top as I peek inside to throw up onto the sheet.

Inside was a bloody piece of paper that said.

“ to my beautiful ______. "How does he know my name? What disturbs me is that there is a chopped hand holding a human heart underneath the paper. This is a sick joke.

I feel a vibration as I look at my screen.

(Unknown number): there is something that I'll send just for you~!

My eyes get wider in shock as I see a video from him.

I click it to see him lying on my bed as I watch as I cover my mouth in pure shock.

There he has panties wrapped around his cock… not just any random panties, it looks like yours.. he was stroking it, calling out my name.. this can't be real.. this has been a joke.

I blink a few times to see him cumming in seconds as he groans my name.

There was another buzz as I checked to see him sending a picture of the used panties and another video.

I begin to throw up fast as I see him stroking that chopped hand around his cock, saying my name and saying dirty degrading words in japanese. He asks me in his raspy voice if I enjoy the gift and that he wishes it's your hand on him and not this bloody hand.

I felt sick to my stomach as I ran away to call the police immediately.

Everything and call katsuki of what just happened in a few seconds.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 1: Coming of Age Post Moonlight.

The films in Unit 1 are: Pariah (2011), Get Real (1998), Edge of Seventeen (1998), My Own Private Idaho (1991), and Mysterious Skin (2004)

Today I will be writing about

Pariah (2011) dir. Dee Rees

[Available on: Amazon, YouTube Rental, Run Time: 1:26]

Summary: A Brooklyn teenager juggles conflicting identities and risks friendship, heartbreak and family in a desperate search for sexual expression. (from IMDB)

Cast:

Adepero Oduye as Alike (pronounced Ah-Lee-Kay) Aasha Davis as Bina, Alike's love interest Charles Parnell as Arthur, Alike's father Kim Wayans as Audrey, Alike's mother Pernell Walker as Laura, Alike's best friend Sahra Mellesse as Sharonda, Alike's younger sister

Overall Thoughts (this write up is longer than my The Birdcage one because this time I actually took notes)

I LOVED THIS FILM. I am so intrigued by the layers this film builds for itself. If there was one phrase that came to mind while I watched this film it would be “code-switching.” Not in the traditional way it would relate to language and linguistics, but in the way that there is code and there is switching. Because there are so many levels of change and obfuscation in this film from the clothing to the queer flagging to the thinly veiled threats. Before I get too far in to this, let’s do a quick analysis of the main character’s name

Alike Freeman. 

Alike- Origin: Nigerian, Meaning: “girl who drives out beautiful women” (at least according to babycenter)

Freeman- I mean…I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory. But it is very very intentional. 

The film opens in a lesbian club, showing Alike wearing baggy, masculine clothing. On the bus ride home, she changes into a more femme style. And here we have the first switch. With her friend, out on the town, in the dark (look, Ben! I haven’t even seen this show yet, but I knew you were gonna pop in here with the link so I figured I would get ahead of it) Alike is free to be herself. To be openly, purposefully queer, to code herself that way. But the same cannot be said at home, where she is still in the (glass) closet. Second switch occurs when Alike leaves the house wearing more feminine clothing, and changes to more masculine clothing when she gets to school. 

We see the first code soon after when Alike spends her lunch period in her English teacher’s classroom. (This is how you know the story was written by a lesbian). We see her full name for the first time written on the cover of her journal. Alike Freeman. What a wonderful name for someone who is not free to be herself in all parts of her life. The second code we see established around the dinner table and on the basketball court. The way this family interacts with each other, there is the push and pull between honesty and secrecy, control and lack of it, respect and disrespect, and the love you feel coming from these characters is palpable, but there is an undercurrent of understanding that this love may be conditional. 

Audrey is interesting as a character because you know that she knows, and you know that she is trying to pretend like she doesn’t see it, and you know that she is (again, coding) trying to not-so-subtly “correct” her daughter’s behavior through the clothes that she buys her, through the disdain she has for Laura, by not letting Alike close the door when Laura is in her room, through telling Alike “God doesn’t make mistakes”. And the way that Audrey is lonely and isolated within the context of her family, within the social groups at work, because she is so internally focused on trying to stop her daughter from being gay that she has neglected every other connection in her life. 

We get another semi-code with the conversation in the hallways between three girls, one of whom says: “Some of them AGs are cute, I’m not saying I would, but I’ll holla” \\ “I’m not gay, but if i was gay, I’d talk to [Alike]” \\ “I like girls, I love boys” while making occasional eye contact with Alike across the hallway or walking right past her. The girl is letting Alike know she’s interested while still trying to maintain both the illusion of straightness and disinterest. 

Audrey connects Alike with the daughter of the literal only person she talks to in her office (read: her only trusted person) in the hopes that Alike will act more like a “lady”. While at first glance, we understand Audrey’s intention, we get yet another code from Bina that this plan may backfire for Audrey…when Bina mentions the English teacher. Queer. Coding. 

I loved the way that everyone knew, everyone knows that Alike is queer, and they just. won’t. talk. about. it. I love the way this film shows the very hard lines of allyship (yet another switch). When a butch lesbian comes in to the barbershop and is being harassed by his friends, Arthur stays silent. When she leaves, Arthur gently calls out his friend. When Arthur’s friend calls Alike a “bull-dyke” he’s ready to throw hands. No one is willing to risk a fight with their friends when they are being shitty to a queer no one knows or cares about. Another code, this time from Arthur to Alike comes after his friend makes yet another homophobic, and vaguely threatening comment about his daughter while she is inside the store, when he says “you know you’re daddy’s girl, right?”. She is safe to be herself with him. His love for Alike is unconditional…unlike her mother’s. 

I loved the way Alike’s caterpillar poem related to queerness, to closeted queerness in particular. The way the caterpillar felt trapped and suffocated in the dark cocoon, the way that Alike feels trapped and suffocated in the closet as she develops in to herself, as she develops in to her adulthood, as she develops in to her queerness. 

I am obsessed with the way that Arthur codes his conversation with Alike as he attempts to coax her in to coming out to him when they are alone, at night, in the dark. I mean, just!! He starts to try to bring it up, bails, skirting the conversation to ask about school instead, Alike knows what’s up, and having complicated feelings around her first kiss, she starts asking her father for advice, keeping pronouns out of the conversation, slowly building to the moment where she is going to come out to him, and he knows it, and she knows it, and Arthur just…interrupts her to start asking questions about “him.” He adds he/him pronouns in to the conversation, and he walks away continues the conversation where Alike cannot see his face, and where he cannot see hers. Because he can’t handle that conversation, because he knows how deeply rooted Audrey’s homophobia is, because the second he hears her say that, he knows that he has lost his daughter. And so instead, he sends her vague and coded messages with his questions around the women’s club, and it being bad news, and to not be associated with it. Because again, if Alike comes out, he knows that he will lose her. So he steers the conversation the way it needs to go where he can equivocate to his wife, telling her that Alike told him she has a boyfriend (because she didn’t correct him when he started adding he/him pronouns to his questions about a crush). 

I loved that Bina, a femme character was constantly the one initiating intimacy, while Alike, a masc character was constantly second guessing and then eventually bailing on initiating intimacy, and I loved that Bina is the one who decided she couldn’t handle admitting that she was queer while having sex for the first time helped Alike get over her hand ups. It felt subversive to me this way. 

I LOVED LAURA. I think she 300% deserves better, but I loved that despite the fact she struggles, despite the fact that she was disowned, despite the fact that she acts tough (and is tough) she is so compassionate, so caring. She lets other homeless queers sleep in her sister’s apartment for the evening so they have a safe and secure roof over their head, she got her fucking GED, she reached out to her mother despite being the one abandoned by her, and she took Alike in after her mother beat her for being gay despite the fact that Alike kept blowing her off in order to follow her feelings for Bina. Laura is a community pillar and we love and support and cherish community pillars in the house. 

I loved that while we get this initial eruption, and an acute burst of pain when Alike comes out, and her mother attacks her, the very next day Alike is in the light, watching the birds, being treated with softness and kindness, smiling and eating ice cream. I like that the loss of Alike’s presence in the family was palpable, that Audrey is clearing out the kitchen in the dark, that the Freeman’s are eating in the dark, and that Arthur reaches out to Alike in the light. 

I loved that Alike makes it clear that she isn’t running. I like that I don’t feel like Alike is suffering here, the people who lose are her family, the person who loses the most is her mother. Alike still maintains a relationship with her father and her sister, and following in Laura’s footsteps, she tries to extend the olive branch to her mother. But her mother cannot do it. I love queer kids reaching out to their parents, and it is important to me to see that pain that comes from loving your parents unconditionally and finding they cannot do the same for you in return. 

I don’t have anything I really want to say about the ending, because it was perfect and the script speaks for itself

“Your mother would always pick you up, your mother would always pick you up…you remember how we always used to race when it rang-” \\ “I got accepted in to an early college program…” \\ ‘I’m sorry I let her hurt you, you can always come back home. Things are gonna be different, I promise.” \\  “I’m not running, I’m choosing. I’m not going back home.” \\ “I know.” \\ “And you should tell Mom she was right, God doesn’t make mistakes.” \\ “You should tell her yourself.” 

The way this moment punched me in the gut? Knowing that I was watching a father trying to bring his baby home and realizing that he is facing an adult who has been freed instead. 

And on the subject of freedom, I am incredibly moved by the finally lines of the film: 

“For even breaking is opening. Broken to the new light without pushing in. Open to the possibility within pushing out. See the love shine in through my cracks. See the light shine out through me. I am broken. I am open. I am broken open. See the love light shining through me, shining through my cracks. Through the gaps. My spirit takes journey, my spirit takes flight. Could not have risen otherwise, and I am not running. I am choosing. Running is not a choice from a breaking. Breaking is freeing. Broken is freedom. I am not broken. I am free.”

Where Does This Film Fall in My By, For, About Queers Categorization?

THE GAY TRIFECTA

The writer/driector, Diandria “Dee” Rees, is a lesbian and describes Pariah as “semi-autobiographical"

Favorite Moment

I wouldn’t say there was a particular moment that stood out above the others as my favorite, because it was all incredible, but I will say that my favorite visual element that was employed was the use of lighting. When Alike is in queer spaces, her world is awash in vibrant and varied colors. In the privacy of her room she is bathed in red light, when she is being comforted by Laura after the fight with her mother, she is bathed in blue. 

10/10 Film

[louis-ii-reyes-strand]

thank you @birdclowns @thisbuildinghasfeelings @heartstringsduet @lemonlyman-dotcom @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut for the tags today 🖤 I don't have a lot to share (i've had the busiest week of my life probably) so i'm just gonna post the end of the scene from this snippet i posted a while ago from Tangled Roots.

“You need a ride home and–” 

“I can get the bus. I’m thirteen, I’m not a baby!”

Luisa held her hands up placatingly. “As evidenced by you getting the bus here all by yourself, well done!” 

Carlos glared at her, felt anger buzz under the skin of his upper arms, and felt his core tremble as he curled his hands into fists. He didn’t need to be mocked right now. 

 “I came to tell you that I can come to your game next week.”

The anger he had been feeling drained out in an instant. “What?” 

“Yep, I moved some things around.”

Carlos had been disappointed when Luisa told him about the plans she had with her friends, though he tried not to show it. They had spent hours in the backyard throwing to one another, making up drills to practise other skills, and he wanted to show off to her. Show off how much she’d helped him. Ana and their mom would be there, but they didn’t get baseball like Luisa did, they didn’t live and breathe for it like Luisa did. It wasn’t Ana or his mom who threw the pitch on the ball he broke the shed window with. It wouldn’t be the same.

“But you’re supposed to go to Gabriella’s family lakehouse.” 

Luisa shrugged. “There’ll be other times.” 

“They’re selling it and this is the last weekend they can use it.” 

Luisa shrugged again. “It’ll probably be boring anyway. They already sold the jet skis.”

Carlos threw himself at her, careful not to jab himself in the stomach with her knees or knock her off where she was still sitting on the fence. “Thank you,” he whispered as she slowly returned the hug. 

He felt her brush a hand over the back of his head, then squeeze him tightly.

“He wants to be there, you know?”

Carlos sighed and tried to pull away, giving in as soon as Luisa showed a little resistance. He could’ve broken her hold if he wanted to, already strong for a thirteen-year-old, but he didn’t want to. They didn’t hug very often anymore. 

“I know.” He scrunched his eyes closed against the tears he’d been fighting since he found out. “But it’s my first game of the season and he promised.” 

“I know, Chico.” 

“I just don’t understand why he never tries to come,” He confessed in a small voice, in part because he didn’t want Luisa to hear him, in part because he didn’t want to hear himself. “I’ve seen the pictures and videos of him at all your games, or Ana’s dance recitals. Why doesn’t he want to come to mine? What did I do wrong?”

Luisa made a hurt sound and it broke Carlos’ heart more than finding out his Dad wasn’t going to make his game. He did that, he hurt her, and he never wanted to, not really. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I promise you, Dad wants to be there, but his work is important.” She jostled him in her arms, trying to defuse the tension. “And besides, I’m going to be at every game and I’m a much better coach than Dad is.” 

Carlos huffed a half laugh despite himself. “You better be.”

Luisa squeezed him again. “I’ll be there whenever you need me.” 

It felt like she was promising a lot more than a season of baseball games. 

Carlos sniffed. It was too much, they didn’t talk like this, they didn’t make declarations like that. They knew, of course, they did, but it had to remain unsaid. That was the Reyes way. 

Luisa let go of him and then hopped off the fence, jogging a few steps so her back was to him, giving Carlos a chance to quickly wipe at his eyes. Luisa had broken their rules, and Carlos wasn’t going to break any more by crying. 

“Now,” she said as she turned around. Her eyes were glassy and red-rimmed, but her face was dry. “Do you want to saddle up and head out onto the trail? Or should we go home and work on your ground balls?” 

Carlos scoffed, the noise thick with emotion and the unshed tears he hadn’t quite willed away. “I don’t need to work on my ground balls.”

Luisa shook her head with a smirk, eyes flashing with mischief. “You do if you ever want to play short for the Astros.” 

Carlos bristled, he would show her just how good he’d gotten. “Let's go home.”

He began to walk towards the gate but a noise from Luisa stopped him. She held the lead rope that had been hanging on the fence up in her hand. “Are you forgetting something?” 

Carlos slunk back over to her and snatched the rope out of her hand. She may have helped with how he was feeling about his dad, but he still didn’t appreciate her telling him what to do. 

Her laughter followed him all around the paddock while he tried to get [horse name] back in his stable. 

Luisa made him thank Tío Tomás before they left even though Carlos had seen him for all of a minute before disappearing into the stable. Then she packed him into the passenger seat of the pickup truck she wasn’t technically supposed to drive and let him pick which CD they listened to for the short journey home.

i'm tagging: @carlos-in-glasses @reyesstrand @bonheur-cafe @lightningboltreader @liminalmemories21 @chicgeekgirl89 @welcometololaland @theghostofashton (if you've already done it and i've missed it, please tell me!) and no pressure as always 🫶🏻

[caramelstarlight]

Space Riders -2

Hey! Before you scroll or leave, I made a DogDay chat on CrushOn AI, it would be super helpful if you go give it a like! I may post it on C.AI as well. You’ll know which one by looking for this art:

You probably already saw the other one. But… here’s more! Add me in your space rider AU comics if you want, I don’t mind at all! Tag me when it’s finished! :0

People I’m Tagging: (Creator and a person adding me to their comic. Will update when more people do or when they stop. Maybe-)

@onyxonline @thedeadchildrean

Overdrive:

I was trying to do gradient feet and aura (the things connected to eyelashes) but I figured it’s fine without it so you can add that on your own time if you want.

I’m not drawing without the clothes on. That’s just weird… but imagine another outfit or something-

So umm… a bunch of powers are here from the stars and cosmos! Include whichever you want in your comics!

Also yeah. Gonna sound OP as Shit, most of it I just took from the wiki and edited it a bit, I added quotation marks to give them credit. I was gonna do it myself but god damn was I not prepared to see like a billion powers-)

Credit: SuperPower Wiki

I only did some of them. Mainly because at this point I was getting tired but I feel bad since I told a few people it’d be out by today-

But most of them r kinda self explanatory. Or just click on the link and scroll down to where it explains it (which should be right under it) and how it works.

link: https://powerlisting.fandom.com/wiki/Star_Power

Cosmic Symbiosis (“Concentrate the power of the cosmic being that lies within one's body and manipulate it.” Basically OverDrive Mode!)

Cosmic Manipulation (“Control cosmic forces” Such as: “manipulation of matter and energy across space and time, the manipulation of the space-time continuum, altering the fabric of reality, the creation of force fields, the creation of inter-dimensional portals and vortexes, psionics, energy projection, and cosmic awareness, manipulate comets, meteors, asteroids, moons, planets, stars, nebula, neutron stars, quasars, black holes, white holes, galaxies, antimatter and dark matter. They can generate stellar winds, solar flares, cosmic storms, and invoke meteor showers. They can also empower themselves and others by harnessing the power of cosmos.”)

Cosmic Empowerment (“Gain strength from the cosmic forces”)

Cosmic Energy Manipulation (“Manipulate cosmic energy.” Such as Stars, Planets, use it to my own will)

Universal Power Link

Personal Stellar Energy

Stellar Generation

All Star-Based Powers

Bio-Stellar Manipulation

Bio-Stellar Transformer

Esoteric Star Generation

Fire Generation

Light Generation

Nuclear Generation

Plasma Generation

Stardust Generation

Stellar Blast

Stellar Manipulation

Black Hole Manipulation

Pulsar Manipulation

Stardust Manipulation

Stellar Amplification

Stellar Energy Manipulation

Solar Flare

Stellar Attacks

Stellar Deity

Supernova Inducement

Supernova Manipulation

Stellar Magic

Astrology

Esoteric Star Manipulation

Nova Manipulation

Techniques

Black Hole Creation (Self explanatory)

Star Creation (Self explanatory)

Star Fall (Self Explanatory)

Stellar Arts

Stellar Healing

Stellar Physiology (“Have a body made up of stellar energy. Basically overdrive mode”)

Stellar Pressure (“Generate damaging stellar energy.”)

Stellar Regeneration (“Use stellar elements for regeneration.”)

Stellification (“Transform others and oneself into stars, stellar energies and constellations.“)

What I added:

•Healing (It can be a spell or just an ability, works to an extent, can lift cursed, add buffs etc, cannot reverse any type of physical damage that has been dis-attached from the body. For example unable to put an arm back in place. Only works for wounds and helping out. Can fix sprains or stuff though. Stellar Regeneration is limited to small things like losing a bit of your ear, a patch of skin comes off etc…)

•Flight / Hover (I just wanted to add it to fly lmao.)

•Force Field (Can protect against a bunch of stuff (for example lasers, rocks, blasts, explosions etc.) only can withstand strong attacks if supported by other allies who have similar powers. (For example but not limited too: Sun,Moon,Eclipse,Space,Other planets, Aurora Lights or other natural phenomenons related to space in some way.)

•Light manipulation (Able to summon a light source at any time. It helps when you’re afraid of the dark y’know?)

(this was posted at 4am my time-)

[hannigramislife]

Hello! I saw in your tags that you wanted a time travel fic where Jiang Cheng tells Jiang Fengmian to shove it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43960344/chapters/110533362

He doesn't tell JFM confrontationally, but there's a few moments where he writes off JFM that always stuck with me. The fact that it's casual made it more impactful to me, especially with this Really Important Moment that turns out to be less important than all the small everyday moments.

And I wanted to thank you for pointing out that just because there's a culture of familial values doesn't mean we have to give parents an automatic pass! (It's a bit different for me, I think, because I've learned alot about my parents' childhood via casual-relative-storytime to realize that they are also Jiang Cheng realizing he can treat Jin Ling better than he himself was treated...they did their best... there just were external mitigating circumstances and they didn't have all the psych resources I do today hence all the crying I did on the bus after seeing your post lol.) But it's still something I struggle with a little and I appreciate you circling back to bring it up.

Dude, first of all, thank you for liking and replying to my post. That means a lot to me! Secondly, I hope I didn't come oft rude in any way in my earlier response!

You're godsent for sending me that link 🙏 gonna eat it up.

Also, I understand ans sympathize with your struggle! My father's parents were borderline abusive, and they went through some highly traumatic shit, but they're much better parents by a mile. It's always good to remember that they're also experiencing life for the first time, and doing their best.

My main issue witj Jfm was that he continually treats Wei Wuxian better than his own child, and has many chances to comfort/reassure/teach Jiang Cheng, or dispel any rumors/ideas he might have about what Jfm feels about him (and Madam Yu too).

Man simply doesn't. There is no effort. That's what kills me and I shall not forgive.

[diggingupgrave]

Magnificently Cursed... the blog post ✨

🕰🍂🕯🌿📔🧣🌙

My writing log says it’s been exactly a year since I started writing Magnificently Cursed, my Dark Academia Inuokko Magic School AU! I find summer to be insufferable (my apologies to the sun) so I took an escape hatch to an early fall last year and immediately fell down this massive rabbit hole. Not only did I write the whole fic and make overly-intricate graphics for each chapter… I also made a ton of other content that I simply didn’t have enough time to post! (Fall is but one season… unless you’re me, and it’s two, because fuck summer) So as a little anniversary gift to me, I’m going back through the archives and finally putting everything in one place. 

Let’s start with the character mood boards, shall we? 

Toge Inumaki: 

I wanted Toge to have an earthy/natural, vintage-y feel, while Yuuta was all sleek and new. I’m still completely obsessed with this library-lizard aesthetic for Toge.

I low-key wound up buying a brown sweater after searching online for literal hours just like the one in the upper left so we could twin. That duffle coat still has my whole heart. Lavender mug inspired by Neara 🥺

Yuuta Okkotsu:

The lil ghostie patch 😭 I still think Yuuta would look hot as hell in all these clothes- especially the speckle-y fisherman sweater. Coat game is strong here as well. 

... so is it obvious that I spend too much time on Canva yet? 😅

The Timeline: 

My outline wasn’t outlining and I resorted to making an in-world calendar to make sure the dates were realistic. Each chapter is a different color, and the lines represent what days the chapters covered in-world. The corresponding stars represented each chapter’s posting dates… except the real life dates didn’t line up with the fictional dates (rude), so those thursdays were actually saturdays? I think? I'm actually not 100% sure what past me was up to here, to be totally honest 😅

(also, politely ignore that bit that says “epilogue - december” 💀i’ll get to it when i get to it. I don’t really like the idea of it being *over* so maybe i'll just gatekeep that bit forever)

⬆️ Example of aforementioned “outlining,” which, yes, is unfortunately littered with as many potential tweets as actual organization 💀

Not pictured: the outline for the first three chapters… when i thought this fic… would only *be* three chapters. 🪦

Writing Log:

I wrote all 92k between July 13th and September 13th (including 60k in August, nanowrimo style)!

Honestly would love to know what her regimen was because i immediately went back to being slow and undisciplined. I don’t foresee this coming august looking anything like this, lol.

Also, sidenote, hilarious that I took a break to work on it would make a whole in the middle of this? Because I literally just finished that piece this week and posted it today 😅

The Playlist:

Spotify proving that July 13th commitment! If you start a wip without procrastinating and making a playlist for two hours first... did you really start a new wip?

The playlist was three and a half hours and i would listen to it nearly every day, sometimes multiple times in a day 💀. Listen during a rainstorm for peak vibes.

(other favs not pictured: The Butterflly Effect’s cover of “Lay All Your Love on Me,” Sabrina Carpenter’s “Decode,” Liz Longley’s “Rescue My Heart,” and "Nothing's Gonna Happen" by The Staves) 

Bonus:

(fall baking... toge's fav pumpkin muffins of course)

(my toge sweater knockoff)

(editing buddy... clearly working very hard)

(cider donut cider... for the ✨vibes✨)

(obsessively drinking massive pots of harney and son’s victorian london fog tea as i tried to interpret my own bullshit)

(me celebrating actual halloween like i didn't start in july)

.... ANYWAY (if you made it this far 😅) many thanks to anyone who read/kudos/commented/supported this fic, because (if you can't tell already) i had so much fun writing it.

Currently, working on another longfic rn that's also promising to destroy my life... but you never forget your first 😘

[victorsbrains]

WORK! / October 9th

guys don't pay attention to the fact I said I was gonna post everyday and then didn't post yesterday, yesterday was TERRIBLEEE and should not be spoken about. so anyway today because of yesterday my day started like really bad. I was like CRYING IN GEOMETRY which is crazy. anyway then I didn't go to Spanish and instead I went to guidance and just sat. that's it I just sat and then after like 35 minutes my counselor came out of her room and saw me sitting and then got me to talk about my problem and then I felt a little better (ily Bushnell) and then I went too earth and space sciences and I did a lab it was ssuuuuper easy and I finished early and I got to go to the coffee shop for the first time!!!! I got a coldbrew (which I've never had before) and then I didn't know what to put into it so I grabbed 2 creamers and left and there was no sugar. and then I tried to take a sip with nothing in it and it was GROOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSUGHHHH and so I complained about it and I tried to put the creamers in and it helped a little but not a lot so then I went too health (now it gets juicy) I asked our teacher for some sugar and she HAD SOMEE and she was so nice and told me too take what i needed so I did but THEN she FINALLY had too move around our health class because they are SOOSOSOOSOS BAD!!!!! LIKE SOOOO BAD LIKE THEY NEVER SHUT THEIR MOUTHS!!! THEY ARE SO RUDE TOO HER AND I FEEL SOO BAD BECAUSE SHE IS SO NICE AND I LOVE HER SOO MUCH AND IT MAKES ME REALLY SAD! and then while she was moving kids around this girl got into a argument with her about the fact she split a table of buys apart but she moves them too the table next too the table they used to be so they where basically still right next to each other so it wasn't fair and they got into a fight basically and she called administration down and they came down and TOOK HER AWAY! there wasn't a physically altercation but it was still kinda entertaining but it wasn't funny actually It was really sad but anyway after that happened she gave the whole class a lecture (again) about literally basic respect and its actually been pissing me off so bad because like... its so not hard! like.. just respect your teacher?? just shut up? just do the incredibly easy work and listen? be ???????? NICE????? TO??? HER?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I'm like considering bringing her a donut or something because it actually insane what she has so deal with :( anyway after that I went to english and had to present which was SCARYYYYYYY but I did it and that's okay it was very good of me and I did well. and then I went too lunch and I had Mac and cheese and broccoli and "Texas toast" (garlic bread) and it was pretty yummy! I liked it! I also had a orange and chocolate milk. chocolate milk was as it always is, pretty good. but the orange.. I was so mad. the rind was like reallllyyyyy thick and it was really hard to open and it got all over my hands and then it WASNT EVEN GOOD. it was tangy. I was so mad I stomped my way over too the trash and THREW IT OUT! anyway and then I did my "tap dancing" and I walked around the class and we talked about trans stuff like we normally do, everytime I have lunch in there its like trans social hour./srs and then I had global and it was very good I love global I love my teacher sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much shes so great (I spend my lunch period, global and sometimes my study hall with her) and then after global I had her write me a pass too her planning/ study hall thing where only a couple of kids come and hang out and I just kinda sat there I did a little bit of work but not a lot and then I got on the bus and I talked too holly on the bus and then I got home and then i got the kids of the bus and then I LOCKED INNNn 🔥I did soo much work! I don't even wanna get into it I like blacked out I was totally in the ZONE!!!!!1 and then I decided I needed to stop so I could sleep and now I'm in bed and typing this and now I'm gonna go to bed bye!