#posting this again because it didn't show up in the tags last time... just testing

[wizerdbattle]

Colour palette thingy. IGNORE his bald spot!

[bunkoos-mole-enthusiast]

Weekly Jungkook Fanfic Recs

Some fine JK fics for your reading pleasure. 🔞 Please show your appreciation to all the wonderful authors:)

Golden Cufflinks: You’ve never given much thought to finding your true mate, firmly believing it’s something that will happen when it happens. But, when you do find him—thanks to a pair of golden cufflinks—it very well could ruin everything. They say not all’s fair in love and war; you just hadn’t expected your best friend’s wedding to be the battleground. https://colormepurplex2.tumblr.com/post/766335488954138624/golden-cufflinks-jjk Confined: Y/n didn't think testing out a new sex toy would cause so much havoc but no worries, her next-door neighbor Jungkook doesn't mind lending her a bit of assistance. https://www.tumblr.com/cravetive/742183386711539712/%F0%9D%97%96%F0%9D%97%A2%F0%9D%97%A1%F0%9D%97%99%F0%9D%97%9C%F0%9D%97%A1%F0%9D%97%98%F0%9D%97%97 Show Me Something: He was your first kiss years ago, only to become your first heartbreak the next day. Your life would have been much easier if only you would forget about him and move on, instead of having to see him almost every day because your best friend had fallen in love with his best friend. When your pal had suggested having a road trip for the final days of summer break before going back to campus, you said yes for a reprieve. Too bad she forgot to tell you about the two extra passengers tagging along. One of which is the boy that still has a tight hold of your heart without either of you even knowing it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/30396546 Slow Dancing: When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale. https://archiveofourown.org/works/39615618 Call Me Mistress: "It has certainly been quite the party," you began, taking a stroll around the table to give his friends time to ogle you. "But I'm here for someone else on his special day.” The end of the riding crop snapped suggestively against your open palm and you felt excitement bloom around the large table. “Now, let me see if I can find out which of you is the birthday boy..." A long-term client hires the Mistress to help celebrate his best friend’s birthday. The festivities lead to new business. https://dark-muse-iris.tumblr.com/post/164844332231/call-me-mistress-ramen-m-part-1

Sillage: Soulmate!AU where soulmates are drawn to one another by the infliction of physical touch, whether it be pain or pleasure. But it is only initiated once the two people somewhat interact. https://www.tumblr.com/deerguk/144529213896/s-i-l-l-a-g-e-pt-one The Pink Pill: This pill is essentially a drug that enhances your libido to the max and you’ll quite literally never experience arousal like you do when you’ve taken this pill. Thankfully, in each universe, there’s a man that’s ready to help you explore and reach your peak of sexual euphoria. https://www.tumblr.com/dollfaceksj/723667191148462080/the-pink-pill-jjk-version-m-3-days Reminder: Whenever he flies back into town, your doorbell is the first he rings. When he has to fly out again, your bed is the last he lies in. However, you’re not stupid. You know your ex-boyfriend, that also happens to be an up-and-coming professional boxer, Jeon Jungkook, doesn’t come to you only. Unfortunately, you have no right to be jealous, not when you’re the one that ended the relationship. https://www.tumblr.com/dollfaceksj/721591770571554816/reminder-jjk-m-masterlist Stay: “Jungkook,” His name was merely a sigh flying out of your lungs and through your parted lips. “If we do this - if we go down this road - how do we go back?” https://eoieopda.tumblr.com/post/703940957854449664/stay-jjk

Losers: I get lonely when you're not here, and this darkness appears, leaving me stranded. https://www.tumblr.com/eternalguk/744420253674668032/losers-jjk-m

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

between the lines

↖ navigation: seventeen masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: dormmate! woozi x gn! reader

↬ tags: bringing the 96 liners into this because i can, pining + longing, love is blind yada yada <3, quite wholesome towards the end

summary: through unspoken thoughts and harmless meddling, both you and jihoon get caught in the midst of your friends playful matchmaking

word count: 1.1k words

a/n: i posted it a whole day later ,, i thought today was the 1st of august… ㅠㅠ

jihoon wanted to get close to you. but the only thing stopping him was just that he was bad at initiating anything, especially when it came to things concerning you. unlike his friends who seemed to so easily befriended you. he sadly thinks that his love language might just be existing.

soonyoung displayed his affections with physical banter, oftentimes grabbing you and roughing you up playfully. you didn't mind it one bit, but jihoon did when his chest tightened at the sight of you leaning against soonyoung almost willingly as the male scrolls through his phone and shows it to you. or when you linked arms with soonyoung as the two of you strolled, leaving jihoon trailing behind.

the ever so brotherly junhwi was like a big sibling figure: upon your request, jun always never hesitated to do anything for you within reason. acts of service was something jun excelled at; on the other hand jihoon's dejection simmered beneath his skin when you walked past him towards jun, asking for his help even though jihoon could have done it too.

you sought wonwoo to spend time together. every time he thought of asking you to do passive things together, you had claimed to be spending time with wonwoo instead. wonwoo and you clicked because of the games you two played, but outside of gaming you two also do school work together in comfortable silence.

in conclusion, he's bad at expressing his feelings that he wanted to be with you. he found it confusing himself too, not being able to put a feeling as to why he always desired to spend time with you, to hold your hand, to do things for you.

funny thing was that, his friends knew about his way-too-obvious crush, and have been devising so many ways for you two to be alone together. call it brothers for brothers, or something.

jihoon zones back into the present: it was a movie night after finals and you had suggested to host a sleepover with the rest of them. wonwoo lightly bumps shoulders with jihoon; a curt nod, and a small grin.

junhwi unpacks all the food and exclaims in displeasure (jihoon thinks it was a bit too much), "we didn't get the drinks!" sooyoung makes a show of sighing (a little too loudly), "dang i was just getting thirsty for some cola..."

"i can go get them!" you offered unknowingly and jihoon perked up. his three friends looked at each other, as if their brains were firing off signals simultaneously and jihoon immediately claims, "i'll go down too, you guys can set up the area."

"yeah that would be good. we aren't too familiar with the neighborhood here." wonwoo adds on, sealing the deal. (jihoon never thought he'd see the stoic wonwoo trying his best to fight off a playful smirk)

with a recycle bag slung on jihoon's shoulder, the two of you headed out as the evening sun started to dip. "i'm glad finals are over." you light-heartedly started the conversation, beaming a little when jihoon reciprocates with his shy smile, "me too. it's been a while since we last saw them too."

silence blanketed you two again, and jihoon started getting fidgety as the convenience store emerged as both of you turned left. you glanced at the male, "jihoon, do you have something to say to me?" his shocked expression betrayed him with a mere statement from you.

you soften your eyes, "is this about the laundry? if it is, then i'm sorry, i knew it was my responsibility and i've been just so cooped up with all the tests and everything, and i know that you're a stickler for hygiene and i--" jihoon notices a whizzing cyclists pedaling downslope and immediately drags you towards him, "watch it!"

you let out a gentle "oof" at the sudden impact and jihoon hopes his heart wasn't beating too loudly. you moved away from him almost as quickly as he pulled you in.

"you okay?" his hands were still lightly grasping yours and your face flushed under his scrutiny, "yeah. you can let go of me now." jihoon's reluctance seemed to catch your eye too, "did you mean to talk about something else?"

dang it, you and your perception.

jihoon glanced down at his hand intertwined with yours, "why can't i link arms with you like you do with soonyoung?" you were mildly taken aback by the sudden question, but jihoon pressed on, "or when you got jun to do things for you when i could do them too? i'm your roommate, not him. certainly you don't need him to move your shelf when i was around."

you stared back at him with an unreadable expression and jihoon abashedly looks at the ground, "and when you spend time with wonwoo instead of me, i feel like i've been...left out. i don't know, tell me if i'm reading too much into this or maybe..."

he hears your sudden laughter amidst his worries and he thinks you might have lost it. you wiped away a tear from the sheer amount of force it took you when you started chuckling, "i didn't think this day would come. i like you, lee jihoon. like, a lot."

jihoon sputters, "this entire time?" you averted your gaze, "i just wanna ask if...maybe you do have feelings for me?"

"i do, for as long as i've met you and i..." you pecked him on the cheek and rocked back on your heels, "then that's all i wanted to hear."

if jihoon could combust right now, he would. he noticed how your blushing face mirrored his and he pulled you in for a hug: this time it was far from anything like that of two friends embracing.

"the things you mentioned: about soonyoung, he's just naturally clingy like that, but i thought maybe if i got closer to him it would make you jealous. same with jun, or more like he offered and i decided to test you a little to see if i was right. and for wonwoo, he was totally on board trying to rile you up."

you stopped your rambling and raised your hands as if to surrender, "i said my piece. the boys had a hand in all of these sneaky actions."

your words caused jihoon's mind to run at miles per hour, "but they told me they'd be 'wingmen' for me, and would try to create more opportunities for us to be alone together...?"

realization hit you. they've been instigating everything, orchestrating every action. "do you think they..."

"i think so." you confirmed his suspicions. hurriedly, you two entered the provision shop and bought the drinks, feet quickly carrying both of you back to the dorms to confront the three trouble makers.

the door bursts open at the impact, effectively shocking the three masterminds.

jun swallows his food comedically, "uh-oh." "seems like our plan worked out, huh?" wonwoo smirked as he leaned over to high-five an equally joyous soonyoung, "welcome back lovebirds!"

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[nobodysdaydreams]

Fic recs, please!

Maybe my beloved Connie Contraire or my good friend Reynie?

Two wonderful characters. I will try my best to find good recs and also hopefully get the text size right/consistent this time because that last post was horrendous. I'll also try to indicate if it's show or book versions.

Constance Fics by category:

Fluff:

Firefly Nights by @sophieswundergarten, cute fluff of Constance and Sticky (Book Versions)

petrichor by @mahpotatoequeen, more cute fluff of Sticky and Constance walking home in the rain (book versions)

Sugar, Butter, Flour by @never-wake-up, cute fluff of Constance, Rhonda, and Number Two as sisters

Angst and Hurt Comfort:

Constance Discovers Capitalism by @acollectionofcuriousreblogs, angst involving Constance haunted by the memory of Dr. Curtain (book or show characters would work here)

Lifeline by @mvshortcut, angst involving Constance finding herself as an unlikely ally to her uncle, Dr. Curtain (a mix of book and show elements)

Families of Choice by @sophieswundergarten, angst involving a "what if Mr. Pressius took Constance?" scenario (book version)

Ten Years of Constance Contraire by @myfairkatiecat, an account of Constance's birthdays and how she spends them before she finds her family (show version)

After the Whisperer by @heyitsthatonesmolgay, Constance angst in the Whisperer's aftermath (show version)

AUs:

Nicholas Benedict's Home For Misfits by @fandom-queen-13, an AU involving science experiments and strange abilities (show and book versions)

Crack:

The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Epistolary Bullying Campaign by @mvshortcut. This is one of the highest rated fics in the fandom for a reason. It's hilarious. If you wanna see Constance bully Curtain, this is the place to do it. (Show Version)

Now for Reynie Muldoon:

For anything involving Reynie or Sticky, you honestly have to have a separate section just for the fics by @sophieswundergarten. So...

Fluff (Sophie's):

Fractal Patterns, a sad fic about Reynie, but it all ends okay when he finds a family in Miss. Perumal. (Book version).

Of Missed Opportunities and Scaled Fences, in another world where Reynie Muldoon never took Mr. Benedict's test, the society still finds him (books or show version)

The Best Solution to Nightmares is Buying a House, Reynie and Sticky buy a house together (book versions)

Angst and Hurt/Comfort (Sophie's):

Safety is a Fading Memory in the Rear-view Mirror (But With You I Feel Home Again), Reynie and Constance fight the ten men (Book Versions)

Reynie Blender Time Heeheehoohoo, this is what she decided to title the fic, Reynie gets beat up by the ten men again, you can't say she didn't warn us (book or show version)

An Averagely Cold Winter Storm, Reynie nearly dies in a snow storm

Sparks, Reynie is tortured by the ten men (again, book version)

Chance Encounter, Reynie sees an old childhood bully (book version)

Lights and Sounds (And What Comes After), Reynie gets sick (book or show versions)

Reynie Going Comatose Apology Fic Where it Actually Ends Happy, it's exactly what the title suggests (mostly show but tagged as both)

Mental Literature, before the society, Reynie didn't have many or any friends (book or show versions)

AUs (Sophie)'s:

Once Upon a Time (Perhaps), a fairytale AU involving Reynie and Miss. Perumal. A very sweet and creative fairytale retelling.

And now for some other Reynie Muldoon centered fics:

Fluff:

the learning curve by @mahpotatoequeen, a series of one shots of the Perumal family (book versions)

these hollow bones also by @mahpotatoequeen, Reynie is an empath au, I wasn't sure whether to count this as an whole separate AU or where to put it. (book versions)

Angst and Hurt/Comfort:

Rolie Polies by @plentyghosts, after the waiting room, bugs are terrifying (book versions)

Safe to Say I Don't Like It by @seirve, Reynie deals with anxiety (show version)

Resonance by @/stainedglasspanel (I'm sorry I don't know what their tumblr is, someone please tag them if you do!), Curtain puts Constance in danger (mostly show with book elements thrown in)

here's to (never) growing up by @mollyhats, the kids deal with nightmares (books and show)

Sunday Tea (Is Still The Same) by @mysteriouseggsbenedict, adult Reynie talks to Mr. Benedict and goes to him for comfort years later (books or show)

AUs:

I Saw You by @heyitsthatonesmolgay, in an AU where everyone has superpowers and SQ, fed up with his father and the society, decides to become a villain, he confronts Reynie.

A Traveling Song to Ease the Ride by @/lesboholic (please note: that is the AO3 username, I believe the tumblr username for this fic is @crow-in-springtime) a fairytale AU.

The Sweat Beneath One's Eyes by @phtalogreenpoison, an AU where Reynie starts out on Curtain's side

Crack:

Old friends, Old Enemies, I had trouble hunting down Reynie centric crack, which means sadly I have to recommend this. I made this for Sophie and Milk for Sophie's birthday. Milk agreed to help with zero information as to what they were agreeing to. They both like the fic. They both struggled not to laugh while eating and in the company of other people. Will you like it? Or will it make you concerned about my mental health? You be the judge.

[eruscreaminginthedistance]

Ugh it's taken me like a week to post this because reformatting PF posts on my phone is a bitch so I'm gonna throw this out here so that i don't put it off any longer; my Dune Part 2 review.

Basically, I feel like I'm living through a Category 5 LOTR event in real time. I was worried going into the second film that I was overhyped and that I should temper my expectations; speculative fiction adaptations 9 times out of 10 are usually dead on arrival and Dune Part 1 already defied the odds for being as good as it was for an almost 1-to-1 recreation.

I feel like after this I could confidently trust Denis Villeneuve with my life. The man's not really making a product. He clearly LOVES sci fi. Respect for the source material oozes out of every scene of Dune, and his little tweaks and changes are done with care and with a sense of critically engaging with the story that shows real thought.

Praying to the gods that once Denis finishes the trilogy he brings out a boxset DVDs with at least three behind the scenes DVDs MINIMUM. I need to see every single aspect of production on this leviathan of a project and then ritualistically watch all three movies back to back as I would with LOTR.

Spoilers under the cut

In terms of what I liked:

I've only read the first two books in full - Children and God Emperor are next on my list to finish this year - so I can't speak as an uber knowledgeable Dune nerd who knows the books back to front, but I'm very confident when I say that Denis's changes to the source material didn't take away from the experience of the story at all.

- Chani's probably the biggest change of all in the sequel and oh my god does it revitalise her character. I was quite shocked scrolling through tags to see book readers complain about how much the movie changed her and her arc. What are they mad about? That they gave Chani something to do other than sucking Paul's dick? In the book, literally everyone is 100% behind Paul uncritically accepting every single thing he does and Chani is just one of a swarm of characters that do that. I say this with much love because I like her book counterpart but I struggle to understand the people who claim to be so invested in book Paul and Chani's dynamic as opposed to the film's when book Chani's whole character is "Wife", until Dune Messiah when she gets the "Nagging Wife" upgrade. Denis's version effectively makes her co-protagonist with Paul and it was so exciting to see that play out on screen. She became the moral litmus test and the last vestige of uncorrupted ideals in the movie; Paul's descent into fascism and betrayal of the Fremen would not have hit nearly as hard if everyone went along with it like in the book.. I really felt for Chani having to watch everyone she knows get swept up in this insane fervour. She's too dedicated to the concept of freedom to fall for the bullshit and that was such a relief ti witness. Film Chani is her own character, not just another limb of Paul's, so her story is going in a slightly different direction and I'm really excited to see that. Would not have been nearly as hyped if her whole arc was just going to be "be pregnant. die" again.

- Jessica being an absolute FREAK. She was probably my favourite character from the book and I was so pissed she wasn't in Dune Messiah. I needed to get inside her head and wiggle around in there while I was reading, and Denis fed me. In the book, I got the impression she was quite a passive participant in the prophecy, so getting to see her go full wicked witch in the film was a massive highlight. Speaking to Alia in the womb, her sinister use of The Voice (such a horrific departure from her only using it for self defence in Part 1), her FASHION. Denis needs to adapt her into Dune Messiah I refuse to watch a version of Messiah without Jessica in it.

- Stilgar came out of nowhere with the steel chair for me. The first book is filled back to back with noble fatherly leader figures so he got very lost in the shuffle and I didn't really pay attention to him that much beyond being one of Paul's many mentors. I read a tiny bit of Children before watching Part 2 and Stilgar seriously considering murdering Paul's children made me do a double take. Then seeing him in this movie blew me away. Guys I think I've slept on Stilgar all this time xD. Not gonna lie though, the film beefs up his character quite a lot from the books. I think it was a good decision to make him comedic relief, because it offsets that "religious fundamentalist" element that could put people off. It makes him much softer and more likeable. He's just a guy with big hopes and big dreams and a big heart who's a bit silly sometimes, and that makes him the ultimate prey for Paul and Jessica. It's absolutely sickening to see them exploit his sincere faith and beliefs and I'm getting upset now just thinking about all the horrific things he'll be lead to do. Denis did a fantastic job of making him a more sympathetic and softer character for people to compare with his post-timeskip Space Hitler's Right Hand Man role.

- Introducing Princess Irulan early hell yeah!! Huge improvement on the book imo; she was very much a dark horse character for this film and Florence Pugh nailed it. I loved her being the narrator much like in the book, and it was interesting to see her contribute to putting the pieces in place for the endgame, rather than just turn up at the end. More of her please, Denis!

- One of my complaints about the first film was that there wasn't enough Harkonnen action, specifically the Harkonnen-Atreides rivalry, which was talked about a bit but not really shown. Denis made all those Harkonnen scenes specifically for me. I adored the balls to the wall aesthetics and the incredibly villainous acting. This film isn't afraid of moustache twirls and villainous laughter and I LOVE that. It felt fresh. Villains who just love doing bad shit and aren't even trying to justify themselves they just LOVE being horrible creatures in their black stone murder palaces.

- What can I say about the look of the film. You've all seen it. If you haven't then go fix that. It's one of the most visually cohesive and stunning films I've seen in a long time. I don't know how a world can feel so real and yet unreal (/pos) at the same time.

- Hans Zimmer showed the fuck UP for this score. I've been listening to it nonstop all weekend. I kinda miss the Atreides bagpipes but the new horns drive me insane so it's a good tradeoff.

Things I'm on the fence about:

- I think it was a good call to remove the whole thing with Paul uh, inheriting Harah from Jamis. It gave more screentime to Chani and I think would have really put viewers off Paul when really you wanna keep people going in blind rooting for him until the third act. BUT I was surprised she wasn't in the film at all? I was convinced that the lady we see Chani talking with was supposed to be an adapted Harah, but I'm seeing everywhere online that that's not supposed to be her and Harah wasn't in the film? Why not? It just felt a bit weird that she's just some nameless Fremen.

- I'm not gonna lie I forgot Thufir existed on my first watch. I think me not missing him overall is a good sign. I didn't rewatch part 1 so I guess I assumed they'd killed him off in the Arrakeen attack, and didn't realise his part had been cut until I saw an article about it later. That was kind of disappointing. While I think the film is perfectly fine without him, I think the inclusion of his plot as kind-of prisoner kind-of strategist for the Harkonnens would have really solidified the Harkonnen-Atreides rivalry. Again because we almost never see an Atreides and Harkonnen onscreen together, so having him there to exemplify it in practice I think could have just polished things up for me personally. But also I want all films to be 5 hours long so what do I know.

- Jessica and Chani didn't interact nearly as much as I wanted them to tbh. I'm hoping that Dune Messiah beefs up their relationship.

- Timothee Chalamet

Things I didn't like:

- Not Paul btw, just Timothee

- Been saying this since the first movie but him and Zendaya were really only cast cos they're hot ticket items right now, not because they have the look and feel of the characters or the world; they just wanted to cast some hot supermodels in the roles

- Zendaya justifies her casting though by being the better actor though; I was sceptical but I came to buy her as Chani and she did a good job resonating with me

- Timothee's just a guy though, wasn't impressed

- Which is a huge problem because the emotional throughline of the movie is their romance and I just. Did not buy it. Timothee could not have paid me to believe that he was in love with Chani. They were like the definition of everybody's beautiful but nobody's horny. Just saying words with their blank hot faces. At least Zendaya put some effort in.

Anyway 10/10. This is going in my top 5 movies of all time and is one of the best book to screen adaptations I have ever seen.

[megumi-fm]

20th - 25th Dec || 145 to 150 of 150dop

this is a late post because I was away from home for the holidays and I didn't really have the time or good enough internet to update you guys, but here we are!!! thank you to everyone who tagged me in cute games during this time (i will be doing them only next year tho hehe) and especially to @chaotic-diaries-of-yours-truely and @winryrockbellwannabe who sent in really comforting asks during this time <3 you guys are my favourites. (I will answer them soon I promise! I've just been swamped 😭)

🎧 Son O-Gong by Seventeen

📋 Tasks

🩺 Radiomics Projects ↳ BCR: draft next year timeline ↳ GBR: download source code and learn mechanism 📝 English Proficiency Test ↳ results are out!!! I did really well, yay!!!

🎨 Personal

I went to my hometown (it's not so much my hometown as it is my native place) and got to meet a lot of family friends and relatives!! It was a lot of fun!! I had a great time!! 📺 Shows this week ↳ My Love Mix-Up JP ✅ ↳ Cherry Magic TH 🔽 (can I just say that I love this adaptation wayyy more than I expected. I really like that it is not trying to be a replica of the JP version and instead focusing on the same themes in a different light) ↳ Last Twilight 🔽 ↳ I also kind of started Trillion Game (meguro ren the man you are)

and we're finally done!! this was my first challenge after setting up my studyblr and I am so happy that I made so many wonderful friends on here who have been checking in on me and supporting me through the course of these 150 days. Even if you're just sharing these posts or liking them, it has really motivated me to do better and keep going. And you guys, who have also been working hard to meet your goals, y'all inspire me day in and day out, I really wouldn't be here if it wasn't for this wonderful studyblr community <3

I initially started this series in july and it was only supposed to be for 100 days, but now, after several days skipped in between, and the 100 days updated to 150, and constantly changing goals, we're finally here. At the end. And despite all the modifications, I've only really met 50% of the goals I set for myself. But that being said, i'm proud of myself for making it through. I tend to struggle with consistency a lot, but I'm happy that I still tried my best to be regular with posting. I'm also happy that I was kind to myself through the duration of these 150 days- that I didn't get too rigid with the structure and I let myself have off days or club several days in a post together. At the end of the day, it wasn't supposed to feel too pressurizing or like a chore, and I think I succeeded in that. I also learnt a lot about planning, and I've also in general come to accept the truth that goal setting is a dynamic process and goals and due dates will change over time and that is okay. So yeah. I felt really challenged throughout this series, but that being said, I'm never doing this again 😭. May next year bring new challenges hehe

37 - 42/final42 // the end.

[eeverlark]

2023 WRITING REVIEW

tagged: no one i just wanted to do this and i forgot about it soz </3 tagging : board of directors i'd tag u here but this is mostly fic-based so sorree... anyway if u have already done this my b.... i wld like to see ur post tho @evcndiaz | @brimay | @usignedupforthis | @seek--rest | @posallys | @dustorangeheartssnowman | @adhd-merlin | @queerofthedagger

number of stories posted to ao3: 34 ��1 bc i updated a fic from a while back <3

word counted posted for last year: 90k... a feat (i wrote more but it was ofic so add like maybe 10k to that)

fandoms i wrote for: alex stern series, merlin, house md, pjo, spidey, hunger games, doctor who, & the grisha trilogy

pairings: merthur / arwen / mergwenthur / mergana, darlingstern, hilson, percabeth, petermj, everlark, tenrose, malina

stories with the most KUDOS: jealousy, jealousy (house md) with 522 <3 BOOKMARKS: except my life (merlin) with 137 <3 COMMENT THREADS: rip current (pjo) with 38 <3 *technically the answer to all of these is tested with torment but that's a fic i updated so i don't reallyyyyyy count it

work i'm most proud of (and why): thread of gold (arwen, bbc merlin) because i don't exactly post 2nd person fic and tbh most people HATEEEEE 2nd person fic AND i got people to enjoy it. HA!

work i'm least proud of (and why): coffee drinker (gen fic, bbc merlin) because it was just a promptfic and i didn't even really feel like posting it but i wrote it so i might as well yk?

share or describe a favorite review you received: any review that quotes a line but this one from judas kiss (arwen, bbc merlin)...

THIS. IS. WONDERFUL ❤️❤️❤️ *creates bookmark with gusto* I LOVE that you dug into what it might have been like for Gwen while she was under that enchantment! It was so creative to have her past memories blurring with glimpses of the present during the enchantment. I *felt* her disorientation, and it *hurt*. I felt so bad for Gwen all over again! 😭😭😭 That aspect of this story could have been a fantastic standalone one-shot in its own right, but noooo, you raised the bar and KEPT GOING and made it even better!!! I love that you showed Gwen and Merlin staying friends after Gwen becomes queen, and I love how she confides in him and how he immediately drops everything to go look for the offending piece of jewelry. The bit about Arthur’s incredulity at Merlin’s method of testing the enchantment was a great dash of humor, and I love that you fleshed out the concept of the enchantment to be something the others could experience so that they could truly *know* that Gwen had been innocent. And don’t even get me started on how much I love Arthur’s “Forgive me.” I love how he doesn’t think twice about humbling himself in front of everyone because his focus is solely on Gwen, consumed by the urgency of doing the right, honorable, and loving thing in that moment. You write Arthur and Gwen’s relationship so beautifully. 💕 Well done; I hate you (/affectionate) for all these feels. 🥰🫂👏

a time when writing was really, really hard: august through october... idek why i was literally in agony not writing

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: writing jj in spider-man: homewrecker because i've NEVER written him before (in my memory) and i was like. Hello .

a favorite excerpt of your writing: cannae lie i have a few favs so... killing is a love language (mergana, bbc merlin) Heartbreak snakes up his throat, constricting him at the sight of her. Morgana’s beauty is incontestable even like this, but her hatred wore her down to her bones. Gone were the full cheeks and rosy lips, the perfectly combed hair, the wardrobe that would put princesses to shame. Now, her face is sunken in, her hair a curled storm, her dress is merely black rags at this point. thread of gold (arwen, bbc merlin) Your father’s presence is larger than life. Larger than love. It looms. It casts shadows long enough to hide every hope and dream you’ve ever had for yourself. the boy and the girl (malina, the grisha trilogy) Memory fractures into shards. Real or not real? There’s Mal in the meadow. Mal buried beneath the hanging tree. Mal cold in her palms. There’s a sky darker than night. Her hands bloodied. A knife lodged in his heart. Her knife. His blood. Her fault. She killed him. She loves him. Her fault. Rest her head on his still chest. Her fault. No heartbeat. Her fault. No warmth. Cold light spilling from her palms. She killed him. The Saint’s only true worshipper martyred.

how did you grow as a writer last year: my hopes from last year was that i finally finish a multichap fic.... 😭 does a short 3-shot count. besides that i wrote more consistently and i'm finally Used to my writing style. i think.

how do you hope to grow this year: hell if i know if i could write something longer than 20k that'd be great 😭😭😭😭

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): the board.... @rosesau / @bipercabeth / @stellwood fnh...... i'd tag katie but she absconded from tumblr smh. anyway hi freaks n geeks

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: oh i don't even know. nothing ig

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: bro idek the more i write the more writing becomes fundamentally so hard to talk about ... sorreeee

any projects you're looking to starting (or finishing) this year: IF I DON'T FUCKING MAKE PROGRESS ON MY PLAY I WILL BASH MY HEAD INTO A WALL. THIS CAN'T KEEP HAPPENING. ATLAS AND VIVIAN YOU WILL BE WRITTEN ON THE PAGE INSHALLAH

[weebsinstash]

I'm trying to think of a way to say this without making a very long post. Also I'm making an 'allisterposting' tag because I know I'm talking about my cat a lot and sometimes these posts are, either really long or I'm just talking about poop the whole time which is, kind of a buzz kill for this horndog blog so, yeah, now you guys can filter it out if you want

Turns out my scale keeps giving different readings and I think it's because this old floor in my apartment isn't even. I noticed this with checking my own weight recently and I've since moved the scale into my bathroom where I think the floor is the most even but it might still be a little wonky

Earlier I mentioned a reason for wanting to get Allister checked out was that he hadn't gone potty today even though I bumped up his dose again (i think i increased it again on Sunday after he hadn't gone on Saturday, which i know bc I'm literally marking his poops on a calendar). Well, he went in his box just as I was getting ready for bed to get up early for the vet and not only was it larger than usual (because yeah, im watching him so closely i know what his average dump size is) but he also weighed less when I checked him out afterward. Also, when cats develop megacolon the... texture and makeup of their stool changes and his is still soft and normal without requiring a lot of straining or grunting, which he didn't do at all

I think it would be extremely useful information for both me and the vets if I give it a few more days to see how he reacts to this new dose and if he tolerates it regularly or if he still misses days of going to the bathroom, which he hasn't yet since i bumped him up again. If I were to take him in tomorrow, it would basically be me telling the vets "oh, well, I've had him on 3mg twice a day for a few days now--" and that would kind of be a little too soon for them to decide if that's his new daily dose or if he still gets backed up and needs it increased again, or even just in general if this dose would give him diarrhea, which, it hasn't yet, which probably means this needs to be his new regular dose. I'm gonna be giving him this 3mg twice a day from now on unless I see signs of it making him sick (the last few weeks I've been giving him 2mg, then 2.5mg, and now this is the most recent change and I believe it might be the max dose a cat can have anyways)

I dunno. I'm... simultaneously really unsure I'm being too risky and yet confident that it's important I give this a few more days. The fact he has been going potty more with me adjusting his meds and now there has been a drop in his bloated weight as well as the fact he's still eating and not showing any signs of lethargy, like he's still jumping up into my lap, and just. I think it's very promising. If he doesn't respond to this new dose than the vets will have a better idea of how to treat him, you know? They'll know more definitively if his cisapride needs to be increased or if he needs a new medication or if it's time to test his blood again for more serious issues. It'll also be good information for me because I have to know if this dose will give him diarrhea or not, which, the fact it hasn't yet is good in my opinion

I dunno, I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot and talking in circles but TLDR I think Allister is actually showing signs of progress and I'm going to hold off on the vet for a little while longer and stay closely watching him. I'm taking this SO SERIOUSLY. I'm watching this baby like a hawk. I feel like I'm making the right decision. Fingers crossed! Here's a picture of my baby being cuddly to show he's still got plenty of energy and love 🥰 I just wish him using his claws to anchor himself onto me as he cuddles hurt a little less 😅

[stellafrin]

It's New Year's Eve and I'm now a year older.

Right, now's the time to talk about future plans? Resolutions? Boastings? Whatever you wanna call it.

I guess I'll start with a retrospective sorta thing tho.

This past year for me feels like nothing and everything has happened.

I didn't end up getting any real progress done on my personal projects past March.

I also ended up starting another extended hiatus after finishing ISaT. I did end up popping back in for October to stream Mouthwashing and Slay the Princess but have since gone back on hiatus for the time being.

Related to why that first hiatus started, I finally got myself a therapist and am also now properly medicated for my ADHD again so I'm able to focus for the first time in ages. But I've been far too focused on IRL stuff to work on any of my projects.

I have atleast been trying to be better at relaxing and not over working myself, neither with my projects nor from DD. (The reason I stopped working on anything in March may or may not be related to the fact that I accidentally burned myself out again... oops.)

Speaking of IRL(ish), back in March I caught myself calling myself by something and a few weeks later decided to start testing it out with friends, about a month ago I decided I'm gonna stick with it for real and started the process to get my name changed!

Unrelated to any of that, for a while I've been watching some shows with friends in a server. We'd have some long running show going once a week (we finished Adventure Time towards the beginning of the year, started DragonBall, around Sep/Oct finished it up and moved onto Z) and people were open to watch some shorter shows whenever.

Back in May, the show that my friend Mizzy decided to share was Madoka Magica, and over those 4 weeks of slowly watching threw this show, I unlocked an ancient love for this series including 2 OCs I had completely and utterly forgotten about. (I need to write down these girls' story at some point, would be a good excuse to try and start drawing again too.)

In the midst of finishing Madoka, my family came back to town for a Con and while here my older sister decided to watch Dungeon Meshi with me and our 2 younger siblings.

After finishing both shows, I needed to watch more...

I decided to go looking to see what anime I had been putting off that could be accessed easily and found that Bocchi the Rock was completely free on Crunchyroll and ended up bingeing the whole show.

Next was Frieren... which I caved and subbed to CR when I realized only the first 3 EN episodes were free (which I had already watched) and I needed more.

I remembered a show that an anime YouTuber I watch recommended earlier in the year so I went to check it out. It was interesting, wouldn't recommended it to anyone without a million caveats tho. (No I won't share it's name, if you already know then you know.)

Around this point was the beginning of the new anime season and I ended up getting into Mayonaka Punch and VTuber Legend at around episode 3, keeping up with them as they aired. (I think the last time I was keeping up with anime live was early pandemic when I was still watching MHA before I dropped it because I was bored.)

I desperately needed to find people who were talking about these shows because the conversation was essentially dead back on twitter, and thus, I got dragged back into using this godforsaken site consistently again for the first time in ages. (The tag system is just so good at keeping track of things and doesn't actively take up space in a post like on twitter, it's perfect for fandom)

It is now too late, I've gotten back into anime/manga. There is no going back.

...

Uh

This was supposed to be a retrospective wasn't it?

Like 2/3 of it is anime talk

Fuck

There's gonna be so much shit I need to cut for the bluesky version, fuck

......

Anyway

Future Plans! Resolutions!!! BOASTING!!!!!!

I WILL FINISH MY LOWPOLY 3D MODEL!!!!!!

I have so many cool VTubing mutuals I want to get to know more and possibly be friends with. I will attempt to reach out to people more (crippling social anxiety be damned)

By July I want to be back to streaming atleast once a week and keep it up for atleast 3 months.

I want to stop just being an observer on the sidelines like I have been for ages. I will make something! Wether it be,

Editing down my voice work from the ISaT streams or doing some more voice work for some other characters I think might be fun,

Writing out either my VTubing lore, my pmmm OCs info and story, the Frieren OC I ended up creating after finishing the show, or something related to ancient AU ideas for random fandoms I used to be active on the sidelines of eons ago,

Attempt to start drawing again,

Or even write, script, and edit at least one single video!

...I can't think of anything else... welp time to schedule this and pass the fuck out. I'll figure out how I'll chop this up for bluesky after I'm done working.

[born-to-lose-writing]

No Road Romance – Chapter 4

Pairing: Roger Daltrey x reader

Summary: When you start going to The Who's shows, you regularly hook up with Roger, but after a while of being his groupie and a friend, you're beginning to think you like him more than that.

Tags: fluff, sexual references

Words: 1,671

A/N: I wanted to post this earlier, but I kept getting ideas for how to make it more slow burn-ish and include details. Enjoy! <3

Tag list: @warriorteam1924 @slashscowboyboots @losers-yurio @lost-in-the-80s @jennyggggrrr @tuffduff @jonesyownsmyheart @smells-like-perfect-senses @slit-skirts (let me know if you want to be taken off the list)

It was noon when the doorbell rang and you went outside to see who it was. You hadn't invited anyone and you never had salespeople going around your street. As you opened the door, you saw the least person you had expected.

“Good morning. Sorry for harassing you, I found this in the van and figured it was yours. The boys rarely wear lingerie,” Roger grinned. “Well, Keith sometimes… Anyway, here it is.”

He pulled out the pair of lace panties you hadn't even missed until now. You must have carried it in a bundle with your jacket, scarf and socks after only putting on the absolutely necessary clothes in a rush last night.

“Oh, thank you! Honestly, I didn't notice I lost anything,” you admitted, taking the piece of clothing that was dangling from his pointer finger. “You didn't have to go out of your way to return it, though.”

“If I can keep it, just tell me,” he laughed. “I don't live too far away. I didn't know when I would see you again and instead of carrying it with me for every show until you turn up, I thought I'd stop by sooner.”

“Who knows, maybe it's a lucky charm,” you winked. “And yes, I'm going to have to skip the one tomorrow, but I'll be back on Friday.”

“Can't wait. See you then, have a nice day,” Roger said with a smile and looked at you for another moment before turning around to leave.

In the next couple of months, forgetting some of your clothes with him became a habit. Not specifically because you wanted him to visit you the next time he was nearby – although that was a nice side effect – but because you genuinely didn't notice at first and dropped something in a hurry, especially since talking until the venue was shortly before closing also became a habit, albeit a nicer habit than missing a quarter of your wardrobe until one day Roger would return the missing items.

However, he did keep a few as lucky charms, which was clear to you when you spotted him wearing a scarf of yours during a concert. You had thought it was lost for good the last time you had gone backstage, but apparently Roger had picked it up without you noticing and decided to make it part of his stage outfit. It made you feel a little proud, knowing he wore something that belonged to you in public, so while he knew that you knew he had stolen it, you never asked him to give it back. It suited him too well and you were not going to complain as long as he returned the majority of your clothes.

Over time, you formed a real kind of friendship and at the beginning of the next year, he started inviting you to his place and you felt comfortable inviting him to yours now as well – you hadn't wanted to take things too far. For most of those dates, the main intention was still to get laid sooner or later, even if neither of you rushed into it like you did on gig nights.

If he called you to come over and listen to records with him, you often ended up making out with some blues playing in the background. If he asked for your opinion on how he had tuned his car at his friend's garage, he would drive you around and eventually somewhere secluded to test the new backseat covers. If you cooked dinner together, you would stay overnight.

When that happened, the programme didn't stop at that. Instead, you nearly always had proper and increasingly deeper conversations after sex unless you were much too tired to do anything else than fall asleep. When Roger visited you at your flat, he didn't disappear immediately afterwards either, although he had done that for some time at the beginning because he had thought he was being intrusive.

When either of you was staying the night, it had also become a ritual to have breakfast together. He liked when you cooked for him, but he was a good cook himself, so you usually took turns, depending on who was awake earlier. There was no need for a walk of shame as you were way past the time when you would sneak away in embarrassment at what had happened last night – if there had ever been such a time for the two of you.

Still, your meetings weren't all about getting into each other's pants. For example, you would go to record shops and boutiques with him and you enjoyed taking walks in nature, often accompanied by his dog, who had taken a liking to you from the moment you had first visited him at home.

Another one of your most popular outings was going to bookshops, where you would show each other your favourite books and authors. He recommended some novels by the likes of Dostoevsky to you and was open to your suggestions, sometimes blindly buying books you enjoyed without fully knowing if the plot or writing style was his cup of tea, with the justification that he trusted your taste.

At libraries, your chattering and reading summaries out loud had earned you glares from elderly people at the end of the aisle, so at some point, the two of you decided to move to small bookshops where nobody was bothered by it as there were either barely any other customers or they were not as obsessed with peace and quiet.

You were hidden behind a tall shelf in the poetry section when you called, “Rog, come here!”

“If I can find you,” he laughed and you stuck out your hand to wave, balancing on a stool to reach for the book you wanted to show him.

Roger jogged towards you, not trusting the stool, and placed his hands on the sides of your thighs to support you. You knew he meant well, but your legs only now started trembling at his touch. “Got it?” he asked and you nodded, handing him the book before carefully climbing down.

He looked at the cover and turned it around to see what it included. “Love Poem Collection,” he noted, teasingly raising his eyebrows. “Bedtime reading? I thought you liked a little dirty talk, but we can try this too.”

“Don't get any ideas.” You playfully swatted his arm, taking the book from him. “It's seriously good, it has most of my favourites and a couple of poems you can't find in other collections unless you buy a certain writer’s anthology. Wait…”

You quickly flipped to page 93 without checking the index first. “I especially like this one.”

Roger leaned over to look at the text while you read it aloud as fluently as you had written it yourself – or at least read it many times before. Even as the page turned over your thumb, you didn't pause. That is, until Roger turned the page back to where you had been, his finger brushing yours. You stumbled over your words briefly, glancing at him for a split second before returning to reading the last verse while his eyes remained on your face.

After a moment of silence and feeling him looking at you from the side, you mindlessly flipped through the next few poems, admitting, “A lot of poetry I like is about love in one way or another. I just like the imagery and how you can express complex feelings using a few words or speak in sometimes abstract metaphors but you still understand the meaning.”

“Definitely,” he agreed, smiling softly. “Nothing wrong with liking love poems, nobody feels guilty for liking love songs.”

“You know, I've only borrowed this book from the library before. When it's not there, it's usually with me until I have to return it,” you chuckled.

“You won't have to return it anymore,” Roger said nonchalantly, taking the book from you and grabbing your hand as he made his way to the counter. “Anything else?” Smiling, you shook your head.

Once you were outside, you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you so much!” He immediately wrapped his arms around your middle, holding you a little too tight and just a little too long, not wanting to let go sooner than his embrace loosened. You didn't dislike it, it just felt odd in comparison to your normal goodbye hugs, which were affectionate but not quite as long.

When you pulled away, he handed you the book. “See it as an early birthday present. I still owe you one,” he winked.

Despite your friends insisting all of this sounded like dates, it was truly nothing more than friendly activities to you and you didn't want them to be dates either. You generally weren't interested in a relationship at the moment, even less with a very busy musician who had no time to romance anyone while on the road. That may be possible for smaller bands who never played outside of London and England, but The Who were touring across Europe and even the United States, which made it impossible for you to even hear from him for months at a time when he wasn't in Great Britain, let alone try and maintain a serious relationship.

Besides, you appreciated Roger as a friend and didn't want to taint a good friendship with a failed attempt at dating. As Oscar Wilde had said, ‘There seemed to be something tragic in a friendship so coloured by romance.’ For this reason, you were glad you were not in love with him. In a way, you had to have had a slight crush on him at the beginning to initiate the flings and you were very much attracted to him, but that was only on surface-level, though not quite exclusively sexual because that was not the sole basis of your friendship. Still, how you felt about him was very different from having the desire to pursue somebody romantically.

[pumpkin-spike18]

✨Weekly Progress 2024 #22-23✨

#22 would've come out last week if I didn't forget my planner when I packed for traveling.

Weekly Progress #22

Updated tumblr tags

Thumbnailed, sketched, refined sketched, lined, and finished [fan project #2] illustration

Submitted forms for [fan projects]

Made work plans for P-M and SFB

Basic o2a2 outline

Fixed SYVNH bug

Generated sprite pieces for P-M and SFB

Fleshed out o2a2 outline

Weekly Progress #23

Coded P-M sprites

Updated itch page images

Made new BWBOK schedule

Copied P-M script into Renpy

Scripted P-M s1-s3

Answered BWBOK comments

Drafted [fan project] posts

Designed P-M GUI

Wrote 100+ words for SFB

A Sky of Falling Birds

As I mentioned before, SFB is my next big project, which I plan to submit for BAF VN Jam. That's... 7/1.

It's okay, I still got... 20 days.

There's a lot of work left to do and not much to show off at the moment.

Pre-Make

Or Pre 🕰 Make (P-M), I haven't completely decided on how to advertise the title yet. It's a "small" project that I came up with back in 2020 and still haven't finished. I thought I'd dedicate a few days' time to it and see how far I'd get. There's still a bit of work to do, but much of it is done.

The art's quite old and the story telling was the original test I did for SYVNH's looping mechanism so it won't be anything novel. The screenshot above is from this game. If he looks a little familiar, don't worry. That's not your imagination.

The Beauty Which Only Beast Knows

My other big focus for this month, we're hoping to finish it for Otome Jam... which also ends 7/1. I've a loose schedule for achieving that, but the team's health is the top priority so we're playing it by ear. It may take a little longer to finish up.

Other!

O2A2: Because I couldn't sit still!! I started planning for O2A2 2024! It'll be another entry into the kill series, but I hope to include some point and click elements to it. Last year I finished 9 VN projects, something I don't want to do again-- but!! I don't want to only finish one project this year!! I've been skipping and fomo-ing all the jams in the first half of the year. Well, no more! I'm going to get some work done this summer!!

Fan Projects: I don't think I need to keep my involvement in fan projects a secret anymore! I took part in the D. Gray Man 20th Anniversary Project, which we actually started work on late last year! I also took part in the Narumitsu Big Bang 2024 event, which... also started work late last year 🤔 Huh, I was really busy back then. Maybe that'll teach me to sign up for too many fan events... (😂 no ofc not!)

Misc: I finished some tedious updating work that I promised myself to do a while back. I'll admit I make my blog easiest for me to navigate, first and foremost. But if there's something that's bothering you, or have an idea to make navigation better, feel free to let me know through an ask! I also updated all of my itch io pages' images. They were originally linked from discord, which changed its policy and broke all direct image links. Thankfully, I had everything labeled in a private server so I could easily retrieve and reupload to update the pages. Yes, I should've done that long ago. And I'm sorry I just... didn't;;

[acromandus]

Finally getting around to doing this! Thank you @thelifeinmyshadesofgrey for tagging me ♥♥♥♥♥ I haven't done these in ages so it was fun to feel like we were back in the 'golden era' of tumblr xD

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties: I don't wanna pressure anyone to have to do this, so consider this a warm suggestion rather than a I-will-judge-you-if-you-don't kind of situation @heyitszev :) (and if anyone else reading this feels like it, go ahead, the more the merrier lmao)

Favourite colour: This is a tough one because it all just depends on context so much. I'd say typically I veer more towards darker tones in general: really like a nice dark green, or a dark red or crimson. Purple is lovely too :D

Last song: Two Knights and Maidens by Crash Test Dummies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NS2EcHzdYY

Say what you want about the lyrics, but the chord progression in this song is *chefs kiss*

Last movie: 9. A bit of a strange one perhaps, but an interesting take on a post-apocalyptic world brought to life in a style that reminds me of Tim Burton a little bit. Basically, the world has been destroyed in a war between humans and machines, and we're introduced to a group of sentient dolls, each with a number on their backs from 1 to 9, who have had to survive in this strange new world while figuring out why they were made in the first place. I don't wanna spoil this for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I'll leave it at that :)

Currently watching: I'm in-between series atm haha. Waiting for season 4 of the Boys, and just finished watching season 2 of 30 Coins. Might just do a rewatch of Andor or the Punisher to fill this void.

Other stuff I watched this year: Err… from what I remember (and yes, since we're only in January, I'm counting 2023 into this as well) I'd say Moon Knight, Andor, 30 coins, a rewatch of Supernatural (up to season 12), and the One Piece live action series. Out of all these Andor was perhaps my favourite, but I enjoyed all of them, and was pleasantly surprised at how well the One Piece adaptation remained loyal to the original works :D they obviously had to adjust some things but it still felt true to form. With Andor, I was hesitant to watch it at first because the last SW series I had watched had been declining in quality (weird writing, etc), however… Andor completely blew me away. The way it builds up to the climax was just so well done, the writing is superb, music fantastic, and it's one of those series I wish I could forget about completely so I could experience it for the first time again.

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: I haven't watched many series I've not finished since I usually watch them to the end anyway, but looks like that new Percy Jackson series may unfortunately fall into this category?

Currently reading: I've been powering through the Harry Potter books. Started during the Christams holidays and I'm now on book 6. So far so good, though I've had to slow down with holidays being over. Might need to reread the Robert Langdon series as well after this as it's still one of my personal favourites.

Currently listening to: This changes daily but I do find myself drifting back to Riot music very often. So, that's music made for League of Legends, Valorant, etc. Not the soundtracks, but songs like Worlds anthems like "GODS" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3GouGa0noM) and 2021's "Burn It All Down" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z6CHioIn3s). I also absolutely love "Breathe" from the official launch video for Legends of Runeterra (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNhKAJwlj04). I also like this vid for it heavily featuring Darius, the only champ I ever played when I attempted to get into LoL before the toxicity got to me and I decided it's not for me :3 (didn't take long, but left me with a bit of a soft spot for him lmao)

I absolutely do not play any of these games but man… the music is on point imo. Something again about chord progression, don't ask what my obsession with that is lmao.

If I'm not listening to these and songs like them, I'm listening to heavy metal (industrial or symphonic), movie or game soundtacks, or oldies belonging to various genres from the 70s and 80s, occasionally 90s as well. Here's a couple examples:

Once You've Tasted Love by Take That

Take the Long Way Home by Supertramp

Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra

Misplaced by Sonata Arctica

And I will leave it at that as I've already included too many songs lmao

Currently working on: I'm currently making a backend for a gym app I'm working on. I somehow got the GraphQL elements working, now I need to get it saving to a database of somekind. I could do this locally or learn to save data to the cloud but I haven't yet decided which approach to take lmao. Overall, I'm just upskilling in the hopes of eventually landing a job as a full-stack developer. NO LUCK SO FAR aside a couple freelance frontend opportunities :/

Current obsession: Hmm….. good question. I'd say, despite me not playing it as much as I used to, I am slowly getting back to Elder Scrolls Online? Fire Emblem Fates is another, as well as Bleach.

[pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird]

Watching the new @staff and @changes on tumblr who actually listen and respond to their userbase is so bizarre to see, because I feel like I've come full circle on the site.

I joined 10ish years ago (shortly post-Reichenbach, if that dates me) and that time was still solidly in the era of David Karp. Staff communicated but were overall seen as lovingly incompetent. Everyone used Missing E to fix all the problems, and then Xkit when Missing E stopped working, but nobody thought twice about it. We mostly just joked about how often they fiddled with the shade of background blue.

I remember the sale to Yahoo, and how it took a while to notice, but the site kind of just got worse. We got ads, which everyone hated. Changes were passed down from above with little to no fanfare. But staff was still there and making some effort to reach out to users; we got some of the best April Fools jokes in that era, like Coppy and Decision 2016 that showed that someone in there knew what users liked. Features like direct messaging and rebloggable asks and stacked posts were still coming through, even if the communication with users was opaque. Bots invaded every inch of the site. And then we got the porn ban, which snapped the site like a twig.

After Verizon bought tumblr, there were a few years where staff almost seemed to vanish, or did their best to hide what they were doing. I can't even remember the last few years of April Fools jokes, if they happened at all. Ads got bigger. Changes just happened and there was no way to tell if it was intentional or glitches. If they were intentional, they seemed almost malicious. Users started talking about shadowbans and tags getting wiped out and some posts not showing up in tags or searches and user deletions happening behind the scenes. Bots got worse and worse and less was done about them. If anything went wrong, there was no confidence that reaching out to support would do a thing. Staff was spoken about in posts with the same tone as Bezos or Google, just another tech giant slowly making our lives worse for the sake of squeezing another buck out of us and then selling us to the highest bidder. If nothing else, we could be proud of squeezing the resale value out of the site for them.

I don't know exactly what happened over the last year, if it was because of the sale to Automattic or other internal changes. But all of a sudden, staff started talking to us again. And we didn't fuckin trust em an inch, and rightly so. Changes got rolled out again, and we started complaining again, because we may have no power to make any web experience better so the least we can do is go down complaining.

But the things they started changing were... stuff we wanted? We got tag viewers, timestamps, dash customization, filtering that actually worked. Most new features get toggles so you can turn it off if you don't want it. Huh, we thought, that doesn't seem right. Ideas flopped like Post+, and god did we complain. But after we did... the features... changed? Staff started testing out the ideas that the users endorsed? Like tipping posts on a per-post basis to avoid copyright issues with fanworks and an ad-free subscription model? Huh, we said.

And the final nail in the coffin was that new iOS tag-copying "feature" that we all complained about to no end... that was actually a glitch. Not some coder's whim that got passed down and we just had to deal with it forever. Sorry, staff said, we'll get that fixed right away.

Huh, we said. Huh.

Aside from being an unexpected change for tumblr, it's making me realize how weird it feels in the internet as a whole to have some transparency and communication between site developers and the userbase. When I joined tumblr, forum culture and the heyday of the early creator-run internet were fresh memories. Staff who posted like users were common, and popular demand was the actual goal of web design. But now there is no social media where the developers speak directly to the users and incorporate real feedback into the changes they make. Algorithms drive everything, moderation happens silently, and it's impossible to tell what a human has laid eyes on. Decisions are made based on what can get the most eyes on sponsored ads and drive clicks. Social media is now Big Tech, driven by Big Money Decisions and ad space.

Having a staff who talks and listens to the userbase is a direct return to tumblr's roots and also the most jarring and noticeable jump back to Classic Internet that the rest of social media has long since abandoned.

[pynkhues]

Logan needs to be put in the bin but the 'kick anything he loves' thing is driving me insane from a psych perspective. Where's that coming from? Did he feel so abandoned by in childhood/youth that he constantly feels the need to test that people love him unconditionally/wont leave him? Is this Rose's influence again? If its based around the whole Rose thing, is that why he does it so often to Kendall particularly? We need a Rose Roy AMA immediately.

That line from Caroline felt like it kicked me in the chest, anon!! It was awful, but so poignant and really cut to the heart of Logan's abuse. To have that scene so promptly followed by the one with Logan and Kendall was gutting generally, but to have Kendall try and take the out Logan was forcing him to only to have the leash firmly pulled tight again - - it's no wonder 3.08 ended the way it did. Logan wants Kendall to feel punished and unwanted, but he doesn't ever want him gone. I said it in tags I think on the day of the ep, but it's like he wants to lock him out of the house but make sure he stays in the backyard, pawing at the door.

It's awful, but man, if Brian and Jeremy didn't sell it. This show handles abuse so deftly most of the time, but that scene I think is one of the season's if not the series' best.

(This got a little long, so I'm putting it under a cut, haha).

But yes! I'm inclined to think a lot of Logan's feelings around fatherhood and relationships have been shaped by his upbringing. We simultaneously know so much and nothing at all, so it's sort of hard to know the exacts of any of it, but we know Ewan, Logan and Rose were sent to live with their Uncle and his wife in Canada when they were very young because their widowed mother couldn't look after them, and that they never saw her again. We know that Noah ran the print shop that Logan took over and turned into Waystar Royco, and we know that Noah was extremely physically abusive given the scars on Logan's back. We know Rose died, and that Logan blames himself (but, interestingly, that Ewan doesn't blame him), and that he married Connor's mother and had Connor in his mid-twenties, before having the golden trio in his forties, and getting at least full custody of the latter.

We also know, of course, that Connor's mother had some sort of mental illness. I talked about it a bit in this post before the last episode aired, but I'm actually more inclined than ever to think that Logan took full custody of Connor when his mother was institutionalised. Knowing now that he did of the golden trio after his and Caroline's divorce really strengthens that for me (it totally features into that sense of how possessive Logan is of all four of them), and in a lot of ways Caroline inviting Connor to her wedding feels like it bolsters that a bit too. If he'd been living with Caroline and his dad from the time he was fourteen or fifteen, or gosh, maybe even younger, Caroline would likely have enough connection to him to invite him, even if it was just for show.

I'm doubly fascinated by the podcast mention in 3.08 too – a show pitched at looking at the tragedies surrounding the Roy's, and as Comfrey said, it's set to cover Connor's mother, Logan and Rose, the tabloid suicides that Frank mentioned in 3.01 (which I'm also fascinated about) and Andrew, the cater waiter Kendall accidentally killed.

That doesn't tell us a lot, but I think it does tell us whatever happened to Connor's mother and Rose is tragic, and I've made the argument before that I think Rose might have had mental health issues and commit suicide (which I think could've been why Logan ended up with perhaps a similar woman in Connor's mother and married and had a son so young), but again, this is all just speculation.

But yes! More to the point of your ask, haha, I do think Logan's behaviour is tied to his own abuse. Jesse Armstrong talks a lot about how this show is primarily about generational trauma, and a key part of that is the spectre of Logan's unmanaged pain. He's perpetrator, survivor and victim, all rolled into one, and I think a lot of that is manifested in the analogy Caroline used. Logan obviously kept going back to his uncle in a way Ewan didn't – Ewan served in Vietnam after all, while Logan stayed at the print shop – and I wonder how much that compounded this attitude that abuse is a form of love.

How we're trained to receive love is, after all, at the heart of the series too. While it happens throughout, I don't think it's ever been clearer than in Kendall's fixation with Sophie Iwobi in 3.03. She was insulting him in increasingly humiliating ways, and he was convinced she loved him, because that's what Kendall's been brought up to believe love looks like.

For Logan, his first understanding of what family was was in abandonment – a dead father, a mother who sent them away and never saw them again, an older brother who went to war, a dead sister – which makes me inclined to believe that Noah was probably the first person Logan had in his life who stayed. To have that first formative experience of stability intrinsically tied to violence and abuse is a monstrous sort of love that I think Logan probably internalised to survive. How that manifested then with testing everyone he loves to see if they have the strength and the 'love' themselves to stay too – the strength and love Logan had to have for Noah, later immortalised and objectified in the family business – is unspeakably traumatic.

Add to that Logan's ego and temper and neediness and the horrible, deep, broken love he has for his children, and you just get a world on fire.

In that sense, I do think Rose always factors in, but I think she particularly factors in as a part of why Logan's so possessive of them, and is so afraid of losing them. I talked about it a lot in this post (which you might have read already given your ask, haha), but I think Logan's reaction in 2.04 to Kendall being missing after the gunshot and the glass being put up at the end of the ep was so loaded and not a side of him we often see at all. He knew how vulnerable Kendall was, and Logan's coddling of him in those moments of s2 - - I don't know. I do tend to tie them to Logan having experienced something similar with Rose, and having the show mention her in 3.08 as a part of the Roy family tragedies definitely bolsters that argument for me too.

It's such a rich topic to discuss! Logan's awful, but man, I love him as a character. He's so, so compelling.

[cinnamonest]

So, I don't know if anyone else is experiencing this, this could be a well known thing by now and I'm just the last person to find out, but I've taken everything out of the queue I had for today because I can see anons in queue.

As in when I go to the inbox, type out an ask, and then put it in the queue, or move it from drafts to queue, when I go back to the queue, for some asks the anonymous status is gone. The asks in the inbox are still on anon, but once moved to queue some shows. I've been testing this by closing the app and restarting and going back and forth, sometimes it still does show as anon, sometimes it does not, but at times I am seeing asks that I'm 100% certain were originally on anon, now not.

I don't want anyone to feel awkward so no worries -- I went out of my way to not actually look at any usernames, I just realized that I could see icons in the top corner instead of the usual anon icons, and then realized I could see names, but as soon as I noticed it I moved everything to drafts again. I didn't catch any usernames and wouldn't remember any icons.

However, based on all that, and the fact that I currently experiencing a variety of malfunctions (I can't see reblog tags/replies outside of my activity page? When I tap the notes of an actual post they don't show up even though I'm using the new reblog filters?), this definitely has to do with these godawful updates.

Thankfully the one post that did queue out before I logged on and caught onto this appears to be showing as anon, and everything is normal on my laptop, so that's good, but I'm still afraid that if I post them directly, with some of them the anon status will be gone when they're posted, too, and I don't want that for anyone, people use anon for a reason. So what I've done is taken some asks and screenshot them, and answered that way. I'll test it myself later and then if it's all good or fixes itself I can go back to normal.

I guess also this is intended to let people know, since idk if anyone else is experiencing this.

[dreamygeorgenap-archive]

why do you think dream and george wouldn't be as close as they are if they didn't let things go easily if you wanna idk elaborate. i like reading peoples opinons on stuff and i hard agree with you on this one like a small example is the mcc6 stream. if i was either of them tbh it would affect my relationship with the other person. i remember watching it live and hearing some of the stuff they said to each other specially dream at some point and i was like jesus christ calm down this is gonna end badly lol

^ in reference to my tags on this 

First of all I want to say, that I probably misspoke when I said they wouldn’t be friends but I do believe they wouldn’t be as close if one or both of them were more sensitive to what the other said. They both are very good at letting things just roll of their backs and not holding grudges, but I feel like if they were like that that maybe they wouldn’t be as close as they are now.

I also think that Dream and George are very good “business” partners. They’re a very good team and that shows in every video and every stream and shows in their numbers on YouTube as well. People love them together, they work well together in a team setting. I think they’re pretty good, not great, but pretty good at communicating when it comes to business aka YouTube and streaming, HOWEVER where these “pretty good” communication skills stop is when things get personal.

The infamous - for all the wrong reasons - MCC6 livestream is what I first thought of too, the last two hours of that stream are painful for me to think about all these months later. Dream especially was very toxic that stream. I could kinda see where he was coming from but then he started to hurl these insults at George that I really thought were over the line, for example, “why do you think I’ve shown Sapnap my face and not you?” or suggesting that George was going to scam him when Dream ended up scamming George and then Dream getting mad and George looked like he was wiping away tears at one point- it was just a really bad situation and I know even in the comments people were worried their friendship would suffer from it. There’s been other small instances like this too for example George first cursed stream or the “bottom” comment.

Now their friendship didn’t suffer because again they tend to let things roll off their backs but it was still bad. Admittedly, I do think this was a bad moment and bad argument and all close friends probably go through something like this but that doesn’t take away how bad their communication was in that stream. I do think their communication has gotten a bit better since that moment but sometimes you see it still being tested.

For example, the first thing that comes to mind for me is the Valentine’s Day situation where Dream asked George to be his valentine and George said ‘no’ okay that was a fun moment whatever but then this clip happened where they’re discussing it and George says, “you didn’t mean it,” and Dream says, “I 100% meant it” multiple times. George seemed imo pretty flustered and nervous and maybe idk worried that something would change? Another little moment of miscommunication and another moment that was about their personal lives, not about business.

Now on the bright side I’m very happy to report that this clip has proved their communication skills have gotten better. That Dream from that clip is a complete 180 from the Dream in the MCC6 stream and as little as that moment was it’s a pleasure to see. George is kinda “joking” and repeated “he lied” over and over and Dream is waiting patiently for George to come back even asking, “can I talk?” and then calmly explains his side and honestly that’s the best communication I’ve seen Mr. WasTaken use in some time. I applaud him, truly. So, I was about to push post on this but I realized that this was another example of their good “business” communication skills because George was talking about recording a video, still good communication but not about their personal (even if the clip sounded intimate and married-couple-like) lives and more-so about their business relationship.

I do think there were some things in the past that they’ve done where they have had really bad communication (like George’s first cursed stream or the “bottom” comment) and if they weren’t how they are, with letting things roll of their backs, I don’t think they would be as close as they still are but I do think their communication has gotten better and I hope to see it improve even more in the future.

Disclaimer: these are just my opinions and you’re completely valid to disagree with them. I love Dream and George individually and together and I think they work well together but they do struggle in this area.