#post-university crisis

[frances-and-the-moon]

Long Long Long Long Rant

So, if (which is a big if) I manage to find a house, I am thinking of moving back to Iceland. To be honest, I didn't love the country - it's small, it's in the middle of the cold sea, there are few people, many of them are depressed etc. - and when I was living there - since I was alone and I had gone there to study and not to work - I wasn't prepared for how much not speaking the language would hinder my job prospects. Now the thing is that I am back in Southern Italy, and the job situation is absolutely terrible here (not to mention the fact that I don't like my hometown but that's already been said). So in those two years I was in Iceland I did manage to learn some Icelandic, which is all well and good. But after two years there, I started being a bit depressed about the long winters, the ice etc. and I started dreaming about teaching English in other countries like South Korea, Japan, China, Thailand. South Korea and Japan seem to be out of the question - they always want native speakers for visa purposes. In the meantime, I've been sending CVs kind of everywhere - Thailand, Vietnam, China etc. to see if I can manage to find an English teaching job there. Italy is not necessarily out of the equation, but: - I have to move to the northern part - getting a teaching job in Italy is a terrible hassle. Like, it takes the longest, longest time. I've worked so little in Italy and I've always seen myself abroad (that might be my hubris mentality of "ooh I'm better than the Italians who stay in Italy"). But. Even though I like teaching, I also like dog-sitting, translating, bartending, making coffee. I'm not exactly picky when it comes to jobs, but I am picky when it comes to where and how I live. So I was thinking - what about Australia? A friend of mine lives there, she loves it, there are beaches, they seem more relaxed etc. etc. BUT (and this is a big, big BUT) the visa is a pain in the A**. Because say that after one year of sweat, tears and money (visa+flight+accommodation+private health insurance costs) my WHV expires and there I am, back to square one. Iceland wasn't exactly square one for me - the country is so small that you understand it well as soon as you arrive, and getting hospitality jobs is not hard. The wages are good, they have unemployment benefits (which Italy doesn't have), and, sure, I might not get my dream job (for which I don't have the qualifications anyway), but I would at least survive, compared to Italy. (I would just need to be able to keep a job for longer than 6 months, which was my average there). Australia sounds appealing. It doesn't sound perfect, but it sounds appealing, although I know it would be just a way for me to run away from my hometown. Well, every move is like that, but it's different, I think, when you move for a specific job or for a specific country you like. I would have to start all over again in Australia, on the other side of the world, with no connections no nothing, with the certainty that it would only be for one year. So I keep sending CVs. And I keep thinking thinking thinking but I am afraid that if I keep thinking I'll basically spend the rest of my life doing that, considering everything but doing nothing. It's either the tarots that need to speak, my mind, or I might be super super lucky and receive a super good job offer. Idk what to do. I wait for perfection - perfection doesn't come - I get dejected. I thought life was a straight line and at the ripe age of 32 I'm realising that it is absolutely not, that narcissistic families do not like their adult children, that this hometown is horrible, that friends leave, that at some point we all think about money, and most of all, that I have no clear goal in mind and no clear place I want to live in. (Because, let's be honest. If I ever went back to Iceland, even - it would take me a decade to learn to speak that language) Or maybe at myself. That is why I thought about Iceland. It was home in the past - why can't it be home again?

[necrotic-nephilim]

what's fun about shipping Tim with Dick, Jason, or Damian is he has, at some point, hallucinated all of them to comfort himself. even when he doesn't like them or particularly get along with them, he has to imagine/hallucinate them just so he has the power to go on. Tim's concepts of the Robin mantle and what it should be is so fun, because he respects the others through the Robin mantle. Tim worships Dick because he was the first Robin. he wouldn't be Robin if Jason hadn't died in the mantle. and a lot of his frustration with Damian is he feels Damian isn't honoring the mantle correctly. when you ship Tim with the other Robins you can't divorce their identities as Robin from it because Tim will always see them as a Robin first and that's so fun and fucked up. like.

batman (1940) #456

Tim perceiving Dick as *Robin* cheering him on, not Nightwing, which is the version of Dick that Tim actually knows? that's just. wild of him. he will always view Dick as Robin first, his personal hero but also the original of the legacy. his love for Dick is shaped by that.

and then of course, even when he's hallucinating/imagining Jason cheering him on, it's *still* through the lense of being reminded how Jason failed? subconsciously believing that Jason got himself killed because of his actions, and that being a lesson for Tim to learn from? Jason isn't a person to Tim, he's a moral lesson about how to be Robin. any potential idolization he could have of Jason isn't because he loves Jason, it's because of the lessons Jason's death taught him.

and then, even though him hallucinating TIm is from the New-52, which makes characterization all kinds of questionable, i do think it makes sense for TIm to hallucinate/imagine Damian after Damian's death in an attempt to cope with it.

teen titans (2011) #18

to an extend, he sees Damian's death as in part his own fault. and even hating Damian, Tim needs the comfort from this to cope with Damian being gone. he's angry that Damian even was Robin, and has to learn something from Damian's death and how it impacts the Robin mantle, and teenage heroes as a whole. like, Tim can pretend he hates Damian all he wants, even getting taunted by the image of Damian, but there's still an underlying love to their relationship.

i think that's just the fun of shipping Tim with any of them. you will never divorce Tim's views of them from the Robin mantle and how fucking Unwell he is about anyone else who's been Robin before or after him, to the point he has to hallucinate them comforting him when he's at his lowest. it's always going to be a little unhealthy, a little toxic, and driven by Tim's relationship with being Robin as well. i need more Tim being weird about Robin in these ships.

[juniemunie]

"Why am I still doing this?"

"Don't you get it?"

"This is all just a show... and we're playing parts~"

[kara-zor-els]

Dick Grayson (Nightwing) and Jason Todd (Robin) in Batman (1940) #416

Bonus:

[whateverthought]

House of the Dragon AU where Rhaenyra is raised as a boy, her birth kept secret for a while because she's sickly and Aemma has already lost a few miscarriages and a stillbirth and it doesn't matter too much since Aemon is Heir and Jaehaerys is still alive and Rhaenys is the one with eyes on her, but after Baelon becomes Heir everyone learns Viserys has a kid and when He dies and -another miscarriage,- Viserys becomes King he tells people he has a son, a small lie in all the chaos to smooth things over, to seem like a better prospect. At least till he gets an actual son. And then Aemma dies.

Otto proposes that his daughter, friends with the Prince already, be betrothed to Rhaenyra since betrothing her to Viserys wouldn't put his blood on the throne per se but the Prince? And he gets to override Daemon getting His blood on the throne? Que the Baby Problem(TM)

Que the Baby Problem. How do these lesbians women procure heirs for the throne? Rhaenyra's blood would have to be passed on, since any child born from Alicent wouldn't be a dragonlord but Rhaenyra being pregnant would make their hoax harder to keep up, having kids who look too different will cause rumors and if no one ever saw Alicent pregnant they'd start to wonder. That being said, I quite like them sharing the experience. And Rhaenyra has proven to be reckless and Alicent is easily swayed by her.

So we need a Hightower man and a Valyrian man. In comes Gwayne Hightower, a man in his 30s unmarried and with no children of his own in a medieval times equivalent. A man who essentially raised his nephew for his sister and cared enough about her to reassure her she was a good mother. I'm unsure who would step in for Alicent, Laenor- if he fell in love with Gwayne and had a Queers Help Queers relationship with the girls? But what would he get out of it? He couldn't be a Sworn Shield like Gwayne, Daemon? Too possessive, too power hungry, too obsessed with Viserys and hating Hightowers. Maaaybe Viserys since he does know and would do anything for Rhaenyra, and at least this way his other kids wouldn't threaten his first-born's claim to the throne and subsequently start a Succession Crisis.

Either way, when Rhaenyra is having her first child, she would have their first child so there's no confusion over who gets to be heir (if Alicent had a son first but Rhaenyra's first child was also a son it'd cause emotional problems cause they're both her sons buuut...) and Gwayne is a much easier solution to the problem. And they can hide away in Dragonstone and make excuses about Rhaenyra being overprotective because of her mother. The next would be Alicent's, to show the court that yes, Alicent is the one getting pregnant. And so on and so forth, their children would then be betrothed to each other to unite their blood.

Just Rhaenyra and Alicent, 'King and Queen' and their Sworn Shield Ser Gwayne Hightower and the other one, maybe a dragonseed who's Gwayne's lover? Wacky little medieval lesbians having a rollercoaster ride of a time making a family and running from court, the Velaryons, and Otto and Daemon.

[jellydragons]

“That’s no ordinary mirror.”

So what do you reckon Wild, like… saw?

Individual frames:

[snailtaco]

A story never told.

(Explanation under cut)

In English, my teacher made us participate in NaNoWriMo where we write for the whole month. Of course the rules were more lax (we only had to get to 11,000 rather than 50,000), but we still had to plan and write an entire story (or beginning of one in my case).

If you couldn’t guess from the image above, I basically made a glorified fanfic oops (note: this will never see the light of day.)

The main story plot line (at least the beginning) is based off of "in this game, no, you're not the only target" by gin (tabanthas) (great fic would recommend!) but with a worst case scenario cuz I'm a sucker for trauma bonding (i hope thats not weird, i just like my favorite characters suffering)

I did have to change names as to not raise suspicion from my teacher and alter some basic features, but ultimately I got to just shuck a whole bunch a head cannons on these poor boys.

Left is the reference to the boys. The right is just the top image without shadows cuz I'm indecisive.

Sorry for making this lil rant so long I never get to talk about this unfinished story and I really wanted to recommend another :)

[the---hermit]

New laptop setup to be more comfy while I write my papers and the bookmark I made for my mum (I am obsessed with how good the yellow uni posca looks it's a warm yellow and it's so pretty)

18|05|2024

Anxiety still fuckes me on the daily, but meds are there for me to make things slightly better. But today I conquered my tasks and I managed to finish the first draft of my English lit paper. I only have to reread it a few times to edit it and fix things, but most of the work is done. I will also send it to a friend to ask her opinion and whether she things my writing was clear enough, so that I know how to plan my next study moves. I haven't picked a topic for my history paper yet, so that must happen at the beginning of next week so that I can start working on it. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed about next week like I have so much to organize, and do, and aaaaaaaah I just want to stay in bed for a month and not do anything ugh. I am also missing a book to help me in my desperate need of escapism because I finished both books I was reading and I don't know what to pick next. As for podcasts I also feel quite empty now that I finished monstrous agonies and the mistholme museum is also over. I started listening to travelling light because I need to have H.R. Owen's voice in my life, but I am not fully into it yet, I am intrigued tho. In conclusion just picture me as a screaming possum and you pretty much get a clear picture of me rn.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin

[berrywinkle]

You know, I think in-universe there would be shipping wars in the SOLDIER fanclubs where geneseph fans would have flame wars with sephgeal and gengeal fans. I can just imagine the fan club drama when both Genesis and Angeal go missing/declared dead and suddenly Zack shows up all the time around Sephiroth. Poor Zack would be the subject of so many locked forum debates for «stealing» Sephiroth or «usurping» Genesis/Angeal

[necrotic-nephilim]

there is not enough femslash in batcest circles. the girls deserve to be just as weird about each other as the boys are. if BruDick gets to be weird father/son/brothers/lovers/friends/rivals/soulmates then it is only fair that Babs/Cass get to be mother/daughter/sisters/lovers too. Something about that deep intrinsic but undefinable love that is born out of trauma, especially if you consider Cass not knowing what healthy love looks like in the first place. i think it's fun and deserves just as much fandom content.

besides that, you can get even more niche with rarepairs like Helena/Steph. Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma is already a fantastic comic and even though it's their only real canon interaction it has so much potential. very comparable to TimJay in how Helena tries to get Steph to understand her morals and the corruption you could play with it.

batman: huntress/spoiler: blunt trauma (1998)

that comic also highlights on how both Steph and Helena are outcasts of the Batfamily and don't have the approval of Bruce to be doing what they do in "his city". I think there's so much Potential in Helena taking Steph under her wing because Bruce won't let her in and it becomes a weird codependent toxic sapphic mess. I think the protectiveness Helena feels over Steph from the get-go is so clear and the way she wants to look out for Steph, wants to make sure Steph understands the real world? I love them. Helena should be allowed to steal Steph, actually. I think it'd be fun.

there are a lot of other possibilities too like Babs/Steph or even getting weird with Helena Bertinelli/Helena Wayne and the existential question of "is it selfcest or not." But these two specifically live in my head rent-free, especially Helena/Steph and one day I'll convince everyone else to ship it too.

[werewolves-are-real]

Time Travel Temeraire snippet

At first, Laurence assumes he's dead.

It's a natural conclusion. He remembers dying, after all.

He and Tenzing were at a function hosted by Wellesley. They were mostly there to support the dragons. Temeraire had long abandoned them to quarrel with Perscitia in the courtyard, with half a dozen ferals watching like it were a jousting match. Wellesley had laid out his grounds to allow room for dragons and men to mingle, but a good portion of the guests retreated inside to avoid the raised voices of the dragons.

Laurence wonders how Temeraire felt about that, later. About not seeing.

He was stabbed. He barely remembers it – just a quick pulse of pain in his chest, looking down. Red blooming over his coat.

Then he was on the floor. People screamed. Tenzing appeared, grappling with a tall and finely-dressed man; he used a dinner-knife to punch a hole in the stranger's throat, in a fantastic spray of blood, and dropped the body at once to kneel by Laurence's side.

He remembers Wellesley barking orders – bandages, water, a hot knife. Have to cauterize it, he'd shouted. Keep pressure -

But Tenzing never spoke. Just pressed down on Laurence's chest, over the wound, without particular panic. Laurence still remembers the grim resignation on his face; Tenzing knew what was coming. Laurence was glad to have him there when he died.

Then Laurence woke up.

The world sways in a familiar way, a rhythmic motion that Laurence registers on a soul-deep level. He's on a ship. But why? Where is Tenzing, Temeraire? Why would they put him on a ship?

“I think the fever's breaking,” says a voice. A naval doctor, disheveled and salt-stained, with long scars down his bared arms. “Oh, and awake too!”

“Well thank Christ,” says another man. One Laurence recognizes.

It's Captain Gerry Stuart – but he looks different, younger than the last time Laurence saw him, with smooth skin and dark curly hair.

Gerry died two years ago.

“Well, Lieutenant! You gave us a scare – how are you feeling?” Gerry asks.

“It's Admiral,” Laurence corrects rather than all the other things he does not dare ask. He hates the title foisted upon him; but it's at least more comprehensible than Lieutenant, and he clings to that rather than demand where did you come from.

Stuart throws back his head to cackle, though the concern doesn't leave his face. “Still perhaps a bit feverish, I think!”

“That might be the laudanum,” says the doctor, also amused. “Why don't you sleep a bit more, Lieutenant?”

“But where is Temeraire? Or Tenzing?”

“I can only assume you had some very vivid dreams,” Stuart chuckles. “You were babbling and babbling for Temeraire – isn't that a ship?”

“Perhaps the flagship of his fleet,” suggests the doctor, and Stuart laughs again. “Get some rest, Mr. Laurence. Holler if you need me.”

They both exit the sick-berth. Laurence stares blankly at the door.

What?

Laurence pats his chest. No wound. He looks down, startled by the pale thinness of his fingers, his youth-soft skin.

Well; not soft. Callouses cover his hands. But even these patterns are different – hard skin in places where he would hold a sword, or pulls ropes. His hands should be more wrinkled, yes; but these callouses faded years ago.

“Where am I?” he asks when the doctor returns. “And what is the year?”

“The year? 1793. You don't remember?”

1793. Laurence was 19 in 1793. A lieutenant for two years, on the Shorewise.

The doctor narrows his eyes. “What's my name, lad?”

Laurence swallows. His stomach churns; for the life of him he can't remember.

The doctor rushes off to retrieve the captain.

_____________________________

Laurence is diagnosed with brain fever, and partial amnesia. Gerry is horribly guilty about laughing, earlier; Laurence could not care less. He is given strict orders to stay on bed-rest for another week, in hope his strength will recover – and his mind.

Laurence doesn't think he'll have any issues working – he's forgotten many of the people around him, true, but he may never forget the way to run a ship. He's far more concerned with learning what happened.

From all appearances, it is indeed 1793. France is undergoing riots, and declared war against Britain in February. Temeraire has not hatched. Napoleon is probably a corporal or general himself, at this point. If he exists at all. God knows, perhaps Laurence is only mad.

But he doesn't feel mad. His memories are too vivid to be mere fever-dreams. A man cannot dream up twenty years of life!

But neither can a man go back to his youth, and live it all again.

I have a dragon, he thinks of saying. There is no war, because I captured Napoleon – an unknown man who makes himself emperor.

Mad. It sounds mad even to Laurence himself. But to imagine that Temeraire was a fever-ridden dream... Tenzing and Granby and China, all of it...

Laurence doesn't share his turmoil with anyone – not even with Gerry, who checks on him fretfully. After a week the doctor declares him well enough, physically. He's paired always with another lieutenant for the first few days on duty, and his shipmates watch him carefully for signs of permanent debilitation; but aside from a moment or two of hesitance, Laurence competently resumes his duties. The oversight lessens.

Laurence thinks about writing letters.

He thinks about writing to Tharkay's late father, who ought to still be alive, inquiring after his son. He thinks of writing to Prince Mianning, asking about the health of Lung Tien Qian. He thinks of writing to young Midshipman Granby, his unwed brother, his dead father...

Not all of them would reply. But he could ask questions. Could verify the truth of things. Unless this, instead, is the delusion.

Is he in 1793, imagining the future? Is he in the future, imagining the past? Or maybe he is already dead, and this is the reality of hell. He came here burning with fever, and now he burns with fear. Surely that is it's own form of torture.

Laurence is ironically given the task of tutoring the midshipman and lieutenant-hopefuls more than any other duty as the weeks pass; his crewmates still look askance, and the more eager of the midshipman become protective. Laurence remains perfectly capable of command; it is only that he can't help but be absent-minded, sometimes, staring at all the crewmen that pass him like they are nothing but moving paintings. Images of a world that no longer matters.

One evening the midshipmen drag him away to a meal with the other officers. It's a noisy crowd; Laurence would find the friendly bustle comforting in another life.

One of the senior officers, Lieutenant Moore, waves him down as Laurence enters. Evidently they used to be friends, given his notably concerned behavior of late. Laurence can't remember the man, and has a sneaking suspicion he died too soon to make a lasting impression.Moore jostles him when Laurence sits at the long table. “Will! Did you get any letters with the last batch?”

A patrolling gunboat brought a satchel of letters just this morning. “I did not,” Laurence says. He's grateful for the fact. He'd found a few pieces of correspondence in his quarters that he dutifully sent on; he cannot imagine writing a letter now, in this confused state.

“Then you've had no news! Robespierre has gone mad. Madder than before, I suppose.”

“Robespierre?” asks Laurence blankly.

Lieutenant Moore double-takes, as does everyone else around them. “Good lord, Will, please tell me you remember Robespierre?”

Right... Robespierre's reign was brief, but this is when he led France. Some of the things the papers published...

Well, at least Laurence has a well-worn excuse for his ignorance. He plays up his malady: “Yes. I think I recall he was... French?”

Groans of horror mixed with amusement echo around the table. “...Well you aren't wrong,” says Moore, looking pained. “He has styled himself the 'President' of their Assembly, which is some stupid way of being king; the French are all mad about removing and adding words right now. I don't know how they expect anyone to hold a conversation.”

“We should... probably educate Mr. Laurence about the war at some point,” some midshipman mutters. Laurence doesn't recall his name.

Moore sighs again. “Anyway. Robespierre is a tyrant, of course. But he's elected someone else to rule France! Barely more than a boy, too.”

Laurence frowns; he doesn't remember what Moore's talking about. “Why would he do that? Did they capture one of the Bourbons?” Declaring himself regent of a child-prince would at least make sense.

“Well, at least you remember them. No; it is some nobody, a young soldier. Not even French! I cannot fathom it.”

It feels like Laurence has been dunked in ice.

For a moment he can't respond. “What was his name? The soldier.”

“Napoleon Bonaparte. He has been chosen as head of their new heresy, the 'Cult of the Supreme Being,' they're calling it; and now de facto head of the government, too. Must be a priest? I don't know, nothing the French are doing makes sense. I expect his little group will be as short-lived as everything else about these riots.”

But Laurence doesn't think so. “...Excuse me; I'm feeling a bit poorly,” he says, rising on wavering legs.

“Yes, you look it! Go on, we'll tell you about the war later...”

Laurence flees.

[thesparkwhowalks]

Batman of the Wasteland

Real Name: Cohen (no first name given) All Appearances: Hex #11-12

As the world teetered on the brink of nuclear annihilation, a young gymnast and criminology PHD candidate named Cohen was making a startling discovery: the Batcave! Writing his dissertation on the long-dead Dark Knight, Cohen had found the ultimate firsthand source for his research.

And then the bombs dropped.

He was safe inside the deep cave, but millions of others weren't so lucky. He made his way back to New York City, hoping to find his parents. His mother, a Rabbi who advocated for gun control, and his father, a diplomat who lobbied for nuclear disarmament, had miraculously survived the conflagration. Unfortunately, so had fascists in desperate need of scapegoats. Two prominent Jewish Americans who'd advocated for arms control (on every level) fit the bill, and they were shot dead in the street by Nazis.

Their son, inspired by his idol, designed his own Batsuit and gadgets to become the post-nuclear age's very own Dark Knight. His rule was simple: no guns in NYC. Based out of the Statue of Liberty, he patrolled New York in his futuristic jet until Jonah Hex - in full Mad Max knockoff mode at the time - mistook him for a murderer. The two fought, set aside their differences to go after the real baddies, and Batman appears to have died ditching his Batplane into the bay....but they never did find a body.

So, uh, do you think DC could find some interesting stories about a sort of Mad Max meets Escape From New York version of Batman? Because I sure as hell do. And fun fact, Bruce Wayne is also Jewish in current continuity, making Cohen here the first but least famous Jewish Batman.

[likea-black-widow-baby]

Jack, looking concerned: Oh hey, hi...

Angie, her arms full of weapons: Well, Peggy, I see our preparation for the uh street-pep-parade-dance-drill contests are coming along. Bring it on!

Peggy: It's okay, I filled him in on everything.

Angie: Oh thank God. If I had to explain all these weapons, I had nothing

[girlmetalsonic]

thinking abt how one of the defining traits of metal sonic who's supposed to be this cold unfeeling machine is that they completely block out logical thinking to blindly attack sonic whenever they cross paths.. attacks him like an animal, not like a killing machine. attacks him in the way that only someone who feels an obsessive hatred could attack someone.. idk.. something something their most defining trait disproves what is allegedly their other most defining trait.. if that is the case then who are they at all?

[fastestmanalive333]

I know this is probably an unpopular opinion but one huge missed opportunity that came along with Barrys ressurrection was.. seeing him have another chance being a father.. Iris adopted Josh Jackam.. weather wizards son he was her adopted child.. who she loved and cared for.. of course DC and the Fandom forgets this.. DC forgets it because they hate adopted kids.. the fandom cause they just think of him as weather wizards son.. and not iris' too they disregard the other stuff.. and honestly brushes it off but still he was her son.. not by blood but still! Also the fact Barry died and never got to be a dad to Don and Dawn it comes into play.. he comes back and gets a second chance to be a father and husband, to Iris, to Josh.. he gets to get a second chance at life and do the stuff he missed out on.. instead dc went back to the old status quo, retconned his origin, committed character assassination and did flashpoint.. also it would've brought a lot of interesting potential to post resurrection barry.. how barry deals with being back.. and having a family again.. what will his relationship with his new adopted son be? how does iris genuinely deal with barry being back theres a lot of emotions and baggage that comes with that.. she raised her twins alone.. with no one but her parents to call too.. and barry was dead and she was forced to be alone in a life of isolation cause she feared her knowledge of the future.. and it troubled her so deeply.. she shouldn't just be like "oh barrys back! woohoo!" which was how they potrayed things for the most part like nothing happened.. but yeah it was missed potential barry being back.. it was mostly used to sideline wally too.. and for wally? how does he feel with barry being back? its going to affect people! they'll be happy and grateful but theres a level of exploration thats never brought up..

Anyway.. Rogues Revenge sucks balls.. also ruined Thads character so yeah