#post-15x20

[sirlancenotalot]

[casdeans-pie]

Dean surviving the dumb fight with the vampires in the barn after Cas suddenly flew in and healed him before it was too late. But Dean is totally unaware that Cas actually time travelled to save him and he should really still be dead.

Cas was given archangel levels of power by Jack after he rescued him from the Empty and then he willingly burned them all up jumping back and changing fate so significantly - by saving Dean.

Now he'll be forever at low angel power again, like being permanently on battery saver mode.

Cas was warned not to, but he took the timeline and tore it into itty bitty pieces because he couldn't let Dean die.

Jack is equally both mad and proud of his dad for saving Dean, even if he kind of messed with the fabric of reality and shredded his own powers so badly.

OG Death is back from his vacation (he didn't die, you can't kill Death) and he threatens Cas that this is The Very Last Time he's letting Dean Winchester escape dying, as a thank you for finally getting rid of Chuck. (He's secretly pleased Dean survived.)

So now Cas is really pushing for Dean to retire from hunting. He's even hanging around the bunker more, eating and drinking and sleeping even though he's still technically an angel, and Dean has no idea why. And Cas would rather go back to the Empty than tell him what he did and what he sacrificed to bring him back.

And that he'd do it all again.

[strawlessandbraless]

I mean we already know Dean can take 9 inches

[lijzeil]

Post canon ver. 12345

💙 💚

[silver-stake-through-the-heart]

15x20 being a replay of 5x22 with one brother dead, one brother alive and Cas is Heaven… an ending written by Chuck.

Also all of TFW going back to the character mold Chuck did for them:

– Dean dying young as a hunter (he wanted, dreamed, to get out)

– Sam leaving hunting (he was thriving as a witch hunter of letters)

– Cas being a soldier in Heaven (didn't he love Earth, mankind and his human family?)

[lazarrusrising]

Hey remember when Dean was dying John never even picked up Sam's calls? Now remember when Dean was dying and Bobby researched tirelessly and drove from God knows where and saved his life? The first person Dean sees in heaven is his dad but it's not John fucking Winchester

[beautysurvives]

pre-series Dean wants his father to save him but knows that he won’t, so he goes to Sam. He wants his brother to save him but he knows that he can’t. Then an angel saves him instead, and Dean won’t let himself believe it.

The angel saves him over and over and over — and Dean is sure that at some point the rug will be pulled out from under him, because it always is. Cas dies for him and comes back to life — and Joshua says that was God saving Dean by saving Cas.

And then after Sam and Adam fall into the cage, after Cas dies for him again and is brought back for him again, Dean goes from not thinking he deserves to be saved to not wanting to be saved. The way he’s been “not wanting” anything all season — pretty much his entire life. The person who really changed that for him — gave him hope — was Cas. But he’s only part of the equation! Dean has to do some of the work in valuing himself too, but like Lisa says, he has a habit of thinking that everything has to be either or. All or nothing. Wanting it to be simple. “Pure” like purgatory.

And it’s just. Like. The entire concept of “being saved” — knowing that a relationship with a specific person outside of your family could be the thing that saves you. in almost every case, for Dean, it feels like someone’s life was exchanged for his — and that’s not really being saved!!! That’s its own kind of cage!

Being truly saved in spn is being free!!!! Getting a chance to determine your identity for yourself!!!! Being with someone who will let you make your own choices and support you through them!!!! But you won’t let yourself have that because of all the people who are not free “because of you” ie for your sake — because you think that enjoying your life would be an insult to them. Because you think you’re supposed to repent forever. So he goes to Lisa’s door—

Being with Cas would’ve freed him!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it’s only after Dean accepts that he can be saved without being punished for it that he starts trying to live his for himself (tw season 15)

Once again, Cas died for him without demanding anything in return, and Dean can finally accept that he is worth it and allowed to appreciate it by doing whatever he wants because he knows and accepts who he is now

When he was with Lisa, he knew he was not being his authentic self, and she knew it too. It was another transactional relationship

The show is about saving Dean!!!!! It’s about allowing him the freedom to figure out who he is and not forcing him to choose between black and white. It’s about what it means that he’s drawn to the aspect of the hunter lifestyle that’s constantly moving, constantly changing your name, constantly pretending to be someone else, living off the grid.

It’s about his queerness, and his gender and him knowing that he doesn’t have to choose between becoming either his mom or his dad — not having to conform to the traditional roles that they killed themselves to squeeze into — and allowing himself to finally fully actualize his identity by not just leaving Chuck’s story once and for all, but leaving behind his role as “older brother” to Sam. Leaving his physical body (to maybe be born again?)

And at the risk of sounding pro-finale (because don’t get me wrong I do truly hate the bury your gays of it all and I think there were a million better ways to do what I’m about to accuse them of doing) — his death is his freedom in the sense that it’s his transition (yes, this whole post was written in service of my transfem Dean headcanon)

He has always been a person that doesn’t easily fit into one category or another, and that’s always been in his DNA as a character!!!! He is ambiguous and hard to label and saving him is freeing him from the confines of the narrative, the expectations of the audience, and the narrow definitions assigned to him by the patriarchal heteronormative container of network television!!! It’s letting him leave and most importantly it’s allowing him to make his own show (The Winchesters perhaps…..)

Okay now read this quote from I saw the tv glow (spoiler warning):

I told myself… “This isn’t normal. This isn’t normal.” This isn’t how life is supposed to be. I thought about running away again. About moving to Santa Fe and changing my name one more time. But I knew that everywhere would be just the same. I had seen how it ended. I knew where I was. A little bit after my 22nd birthday, I paid this burnout kid who used to hit on me in the food court $50 to bury me alive. I mean… he didn’t know he was burying me alive, but I doubt he would have cared too much even if he did. I bought a coffin. I dug a hole. I got inside and I closed the lid. I said to myself, “This is crazy.” “What you’re doing is crazy.” But another part of me knew that it wasn’t. That it was survival. And that I didn’t have much time. That what felt like years in this world was actually just seconds. So I waited. And then finally, the first spadeful of dirt hit the top of the box. And then another. And then another. I sang songs to myself. I counted to 10,000 without skipping any numbers. I pissed and I shit my pants and I forced my mouth to produce whatever saliva it could muster just so I would have something to drink. I screamed as loud as I could for help. I apologized for the whole thing. And I begged God for someone to come along and save me. I tried and tried to claw my way out, but that burnout guy had packed the dirt in too tight just like I had asked him to do. And then, after I don’t know how long, I felt myself start to leave myself. And it was like I was watching myself on TV from across the room. And I was moving further and further away from the screen until the screen was so small that I couldn’t even see myself anymore.

And then I was clawing my way up out of the ground. And then I was at the surface, gasping for air, rain pouring down on me. Thunder and lightning. And I was finally back there. Back at our old sleepaway camp. And just like I was waking up from a bad dream, that whole life… that whole reality where I was Maddy Wilson…drifted away. Like a brief hallucination that, after a few moments, I could hardly even remember. And all those memories that had felt so real washed away with the rain back at our old sleepaway camp. And I was me. I was finally me again. And it was the season six premiere. I tried looking for you, but Mr. Melancholy had covered his tracks too well. I knew you must be buried somewhere close by, but I didn’t know where. And your signal… That signal that I used to be able to close my eyes and feel so vividly… was nowhere. I wasn’t picking up anything on the psychic plane. I found my heart. Isabel, oh, my God! I found yours, too. And it was still beating, stored indefinitely in… (breathing heavily) In an industrial freezer! I left our hearts there because I knew I wasn’t done yet. And I found Mr. Melancholy’s cauldron. I found the Luna Juice he used to send us to the Midnight Realm, then I took a big sip straight out from the ladle. And I laid back down… and I waited to fall back asleep. I knew I needed to come back here. I knew I needed to come back and save you. So that the show can continue. So that we can get to season six.

Okay and now this quote

Jane Schoenbrun creator of I Saw the TV Glow):

To get Owen to a place of true self-love and self-acceptance would take at least another movie. I knew that I wanted it to be really honest to the fact that just because you've now finally seen yourself clearly doesn't mean that half a lifetime of damage that repression has instilled in you is going to go away. I don't view it as a cautionary tale or a definitively sad ending; I just think it's truthful to the fact that if you've been taught your whole life to think of yourself as an imposter or apologize for being yourself, like many trans people are, that instinct doesn't go away overnight.

[catnipster69]

Episode 1x11 "Scarecrow"

Episode 2x22 "All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1"

Episode 4x2 "Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester"

Episode 7x3 "The Girl Next Door"

Episode 7x5 "Shut up, Dr. Phil"

Episode 7x22 "There Will Be Blood"

Episode 8x9 "Citizen Fang"

Episode 8x19 "Taxi Driver"

Episode 8x22 "Clip Show"

Episode 15x20 "Carry On"

[perfectthewayyouare]

it's all just feeling very dean rebar death jensen "it didn't sit well with me" ackles. bobby sudden death kenneth "he explained creatively why he thought it was the right choice and i fought him on it" choi. the fans are mad. the actors are weirdly posting about it on social media. everyone is in denial. the unkillable character has been killed. what do we do now... and i'm understandably triggered

[soulmates-for-real-tranquility]

Barniversary 💔

[classycoffeecat]

Happy DESTIEL IS CANON - ARM AROUND DEAN Day!! 💙💚

[sirlancenotalot]

an unnecessary woman - rabih alameddine /spn 5x16 - dark side of the moon + spn 1x18 + something wicked • how to wear your mother's lipstick - warsan shire / spn 12x22 - who we are • luvbug - icarus / spn 4x03 - in the beginning + spn 1x01 - pilot + spn 2x21 - all hell breaks loose (part 1) + spn 3x16 - no rest for the wicked • mother wound healing: why it's crucial for women / spn 14x18 - absence + spn 15x20 - carry on • susan smith - wych elm / spn 4x21 - when the levee breaks / spn 12x02 - mamma mia • motion sickness - phoebe bridgers / spn 12x22 - who we are • spn 12x14 - the raid / elektra - sophocles • spn 1x09 - home + spn 2x01 - in my time of dying / mamma told me - mother mother

[dryaddean]

i have some thoughts about the finale. i don't hate it, i just find it hilariously stupid and nonsensical.

Cas helped. let's suppose Cas is out of the Empty and powerful enough to be working on restoring Heaven by the time Dean is dying on the rebar. Cas doesn't lift a finger to help him, in my opinion, selfishly because this is how he gets Dean to "come home" to him. i'm just trying to follow the writers' logic: Cas is around + Cas lets Dean die = Cas is fine with Dean dying. Dean is now literally in Cas' sandbox. yay?

let's suppose Jack had decreed that angels don't meddle in the affairs of humans, including Dean. when was the last time Cas, the indomitable Mr. Crack in His Chassis, was shown to be any good at following orders, especially where Dean is concerned?

Cas let Dean go on believing he was in the Empty, unreachable. ergo, i'm inclined to believe that that same Cas actively chose not to get involved in Dean's final death. it's very selfish but also very funny.

And your mom and dad... they got a place over yonder. omg let these people get away from each other. John and Mary-once-risen-twice-died are completely different people from who they were when they last were together (discounting 14x13). the fact that the line is delivered by Bobby when this Mary and AU-Bobby got it on close to her death is pretty rich.

and have we forgotten this (5x03)?

CASTIEL What about you? DEAN What about me? I don't know. Honestly, I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am, I'm really good. CASTIEL Even without your brother? DEAN Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy.

he had just once let himself be unburdened of the duty to family drilled into him by his father. he had in Cas a shining example of defying conditioning and paving one's own way. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. It's been more that a long time. Years. are we supposed to believe he was happy post-15x18? over and over again, he kept falling into the same rut of carrying the weight of the whole world on his shoulders, of assuming the burden of responsibility, of familial duty. whose idea of heaven was it that the same man who had once expressed feeling chained to his family is now chained to his family for eternity? it's sickening.

lastly, considering that we know families are confined together, let's remember that Sam was married, with a son. i think this is something a lot of people who celebrate the brothers reuniting in Heaven tend to overlook, that soon enough Sam will be joined by his wife and son and perhaps his family too, and so it goes. who actually thinks Dean will care to stick around these virtual strangers?

i think he'd rather be off with his angel who has the power to carve out their own little piece of heaven. <3

[gay-mooshrooms]

Well...

its been 7 and a half months with a whole lotta blood sweat and tears.

But I have finally arrived at the last three episodes of spn.

...fuck

[sunforgrace]

no but the thing is the thing is orpheus turns and. you’re early. i missed you. he sacrifices his life to save his love and he still dies at 41

[silver-stake-through-the-heart]