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I had watched Rebelde in semi one sitting and now I'm sleep-deprived and procrastinating thinking about Luka and Okane dynamics.
The way Luka had no qualms to approach other people to use them or go after what he wants. And the way he had seen singing Okane, and decided to do nothing. He just seemingly immediately gave up on his attraction. No step towards him out of his own initiative. No scheming. Nada. Nothing.
Seemed like other side of his knee-jerk reaction to someone approaching him - making sure they would regret it. Making sure he wouldn't regret it?
And then there is Okane. Pushing other people buttons and then smiling at them as if admiring the result. More or less gleefully curious, difficult to offend, not stopping on the surface level of harsh words. ( such a ExTP?)
Match made in a trashy high school drama. Is it bad that I liked Luka sharing his revenge plan with him and being backstabbing/ plotting partners? They could be a power couple of scheming world.
Ahh, and Okane on one turn being such a chaotic bi , and on the other gifting things that Luka mentioned in passing once, and ready to dish it out for anyone crossing Luka. Feelings.
#rebelde#luka x okane#luka proudly wearing daddy issues since 2022#lukane#post show ramblings#rebelde netflix
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randomly rememebered a very silly maya content creator AU i came up with like 2 years ago. its just dumb fun haha
#this is kind of an extension of my hc/au of having the aa cast be people who grew up in the early 2010s (social media users)#in this au maya is a prolific steel samurai extended universe fandom member and starts making videos in like 2018-2019#edgeworth also posts online anonymously but it takes him yearsss to show his face online#getting a segment in her massive video essay compels him tho#yea im just rambling abt my goofy ideas atp if you wanna know more i can share#maya fey#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#ace attorney#fanart#art
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Ranking the Veilguard companions Hookup Potential based on the kind of bed situation they have going on in the Lighthouse
(im in early act 2 so have no idea what further romance scenes are actually like, this is just jokin time without any romance spoilers. just pics of how their respective rooms in the lighthouse look and some basic characterization we know about them)
Taash: 8/10
In another game or the real world I would only rate this a 5 because they have no pillows or addition blankets. however they do have a real bedframe AND it's big enough for 2 which means the they are doing better than 90% of the rest of the Veilguard so this score gets boosted. And while there's not many blankets, there are plenty of braziers around the room to keep you warm, and Taash is probably their own miniature furnace to cuddle up to. Crucially, they also have a whole wheel of cheese next to the bed, which means you don't even have to leave the covers to get a snack after.
Lucanis: 1/10
Oh no. I'm not even going to comment on the pantry angle because everyone else asks him about that to begin with, so this is just about the bed. Unfortunately the bed is a cot made of uneven wooden planks with some blankets on top of it, and is only wide enough for 1. This is because Lucanis hates sleeping and doesn't want to do it, so the less tempting his bed is, the better for him. Unfortunately this means sleepover potential is dreadful and you will have to find alternate solutions. He does at least have another blanket to go over him and one that's presumably being used as a pillow, so, he gets a 1 instead of a 0, but I am still planning on gifting him coupons for a back massage for Satinalia.
Bellara: 4/10
This setup is perfectly fine for sleeping. It's the lighthouse standard little bed couch thing, has a mattress/cushion, is elevated off the floor, has a pillow, and she's got her blankets folded below. Perfectly serviceable for getting a good night's rest which we know Bellara is not because she forgot to sleep again. However, it's very much a one person sized setup. You might be able to cuddle for a while but if one of you unconsciously tries to roll over you are going right to the floor. Ouch.
Lace Harding: 5/10
You might be wondring "why is sleeping on the floor rated higher than bellara's" and the answer is because this means you are not rolling off the bed onto the floor. it's not going to be comfy but we are not ranking comfort here we're ranking sleepover potential. Harding has managed to make this space look homey and the canopy gives the illusion of being in a tent or canopy bed to help with that illusion. There are rugs down on the floor plus the blankets and pillows--we know Harding is used to sleeping on the ground due to her career as a scout, and I'm sure she can scrounge up more blankets to make the cushioning big enough for the both of you. Your back WILL hurt in the morning but you'll get to have a fun night first.
Neve: 3/10
Girl I know you can do better than this. Which means you're not trying to on purpose, so, live your life I guess. I will say this cot IS bounds nicer than Lucanis's--you can see its a stretched canvas or hide on a frame rather than wooden planks, so it will have a little more give. However they are not THAT much comfier which I know having slept on this modern equivalent many times. Neve also apparently has 0 pillows or blankets so you're out of luck there, as well as the problem of it only being wide enough for 1 again. This woman has too many other things going on to think about romance so your Rook is going to be the one improvising on that matter I think.
Davrin: 10/10
Now here is a man who has his life together. Double or queen size mattress, rustic bed frame he probably lovingly carved and assembled himself by hand, and not only are there sheets AND blankets AND pillows, they are are full on matching set and this knight in shining armor dutifully makes the bed every morning. There's also enough pillows for two! While the remains of a giant corpse is hanging above you all night, the spacing of the ribs still gives you lots of room above to manouver, so just don't worry about that. As a bonus you'll probably even have a baby griffon come to cuddle in the night which is such a cute thought we're going to ignore how much worse getting stepped on by a griffon foot would be than even the biggest fattest housecat trying to stand on your stomach at 4:30am. My one criticism of the setup here is that due to the bed's positioning if the person on the inside needs to get up in the night they'll have to awkwardly crawl over the person on the outside, however everyone else's bed situation is so dismal I'm not even going to subtract a point for that. Great work Davrin.
Emmrich: ???/10
Where... does this man sleep. Peepaw I KNOW you can't be sitting in that armchair all night you need your beauty rest!!! There are 0 beds or cots or floor blankets in this man's room. HOW am I supposed to break his pelvis if he has nowhere for us to lie down??? We can't risk that old man's spine on the cobblestone.
Wait... unless. No, surly not. I mean--jk. Unless...? 😳😳😳
is daddy necromancer gonna fuck me on the sacrifice slab... 😳😳😳🥵🥵🥵
Bonus:
Solas 11/10
does not matter where he actually slept bc once my inquisitor Gets Him again they WILL be fucking on top of the piano in front of the mural in his Yearning Room
#i know rook has their own couch thing however this post was funnier without it. also they have 0 pillows/blankets so a 5/10 also.#ramblings#dragon age: veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#dav shitposts#lucanis dellamorte#taash#lucanis#lace harding#harding#bellara#bellara lutare#neve#neve gallus#davrin#emmrich#emmrich volkarin#solas#solavellan#rook#full disclosure after i thought of this and took all these pics i Did get a cutscene where emmrich has a corpse on the table so. not a bed#but for a few days of running around i WAS like... i mean theres nowhere else... what if...#i still think itd be hot#jade plays dav#juniper aldwir#juniper rook#datv#veilguard#also plrease note i made this before i got taash’s Gender Quest… i edited the pronouns after#but the old reblogs that got popular still show ‘she’ sorry
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"Dodge this."
#garfield#trinity#the matrix#garfield the cat#garfposting#art#rambles#A very special thanks to Annie (bunchabears) for drawing this commission#You go above and beyond to bring my silly jokes to life#I saw the 25th anniversary showing of The Matrix (1999) in theaters#and was wondering what the old Garfield and Trinity post would look like in a widescreen format
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one reason i think liu qingge has such great potential is that he's one of the only characters entirely free from the PIDM narrative. because he dies early in PIDM, sqq isn't coming into every conversation and interaction expecting lqg to adhere to a preconceived script. this allows sqq to actually see lqg as a person and for his words and actions to be taken at face value.
i just think this is great potential for sqq to still be completely oblivious or in denial about lbh and yqy's attentions (because he's so fixated on how bad/complicated PIDM!sqq's relationships are with them) whilst also catching wind of lqg's growing feelings for him because he isn't hampered by any preconceived notions of what they're dynamic "should" be.
so give me sqq noticing the way lqg's mannerism soften around him, how his gruffness changes, how he spends more time just having tea with sqq even after his meridians have been cleansed as they start to have civil conversation about sect business. recognising lqg's care in returning his fans; seeking common ground over their shared love of monster hunting (even if lqg just cares about fighting them, can he maybe smash them in such a way that shixiong can study them afterwards?) and discussions on cultivation techniques and the differences between bai zhan and qing jing styles.
sqq who is so just so grateful to have someone in his corner, someone he feels safe with, who he doesn't have to second guess during every conversation. someone who was never supposed to be around by this point in the narrative, and so is entirely shen qingqui's.
#listen i just like how devoted lqg is to sqq and how their relationship just isn't as ~messy~ as sqq with lbh or yqy#i could see them developing really good communication once lqg realises that this sqq is different and starts to want to spend time with hi#and on sqq's side not carrying all the PIDW cannon frees him to just see lqg as a person instead of a character bound to a narrative#svsss#scum villian self saving system#liu qingge#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#liushen#liuyuan#svsss meta#liu qingge meta#rambles about shows i'm watching#<my posts>
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leverage is so fucking funny. man manages to find the most mentally ill and neurodivergent group of thieves on the market + an even more mentally ill guy whose literal job description was trying to chase all of them, and forces them into a found family speed-run by trying to blow them all up. they lowkey stage a full fucking country wide coup and are like eh 🤷 just another wednesday. this might be a fun place to vacation tho i guess. sophie shows up to her own funeral twice. they're so good at convincing people of their shit that they make a guy's body start reacting to an illness he doesn't have because it isn't real. go completely out on a limb and basically hand this one guy a new password for his computer so they can get into it and he goes with it. parker and hardison have straight up just "fake it 'till you make it"d into the fbi without even attempting to cover their tracks beyond just These Two Guys. half their clients never asked to be their clients and don't know they're their clients, and the other half are random people who find them who fuckin knows how, meanwhile no government agency can track them down without selling their soul to sterling. they make a point to have a dramatic scene w a Big Bad Shadowy Government Guy who doesn't actually get caught or brought to justice or anything telling them he's going to hunt them all down, and in any other show this would probably earn at least a minor arc later on but he literally never shows up again. an entire season finale hinged on a cake and a bunch of clams. they accidentally made eliot a celebrity not once, not twice, but three times. parker blew up her foster parents' house when she was like. nine. and it's hardly a footnote. hardison is just casually an artistic prodigy but it's only ever brought up for the most background of background gags. eliot's biggest beef with parker and hardison for like two and a half seasons is that they won't stop making weird food with lasers and refuse to realize they can't make a decent beer to save their lives. sophie's immediate response to being shot is to call her shooter a wanker. there's a character who has literally killed a man with a mop and they had the audacity to only put her in one episode.
#leverage my beloved <3#ramble#leverage#i also feel the need to point out that. while yes sophie did show up to her own funeral twice. she also technically was the driver to bring#her own ''corpse'' to wherever interpol was sending it lmfao#re: eliot being made a celeb 3 times bc some people are confused—country singer; baseball player; hockey player#didnt count the knockout job bc i think that was p local focused? could be wrong#re: character who killed a man w a mop = mikel dayan (hitter from the two live crew job)#this post is getting people interested in leverage lets goooooooo#this post has also officially surpassed the number of people i expected to ever know or care about leverage by several thousands#bc even though logically i know it aired as an actual tv show over several years and a lot of people probably saw it#that does not compute in my head#leverage spoilers
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i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD
#ramble#also only 0.29 delivery instead of 3.99#and chilli cheese bites#i swear to god the best food you'll ever eat while drunk is from the tiny shithole that's open until 4am#if you're refusing to do literally the smallest thing you can do to help then i have questions#it's FOOD. you'll survive#it's not even NECESSARY food#if it was like a chain grocery place and you don't have access to anything else then i would understand#but it's just NOT#make your own coffee for the love of god#when there is NOTHING you can do to stop this fucking tragedy. and let's be honest there isn't a lot normal people can do#and people say to you 'do this insignificant thing just to show that you even CARE'#and you DON'T do that???? what is actually wrong with you#also i've been worried about this since my last post about sbucks but this is Not an attack on the people who WORK at the boycotted places#because it is an absolute privilege to be able to leave your job and immediately find a new one
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OH MY DAYS i cant believe i never posted this one here (originally posted to twitter, JAN20 2023) (hes stabbing his little bathtub bed. is that obvious? i hope its obvious) OLD ART at this point but i still like the way i did expression and movement. also WEEE THE NIGHTMARE ARC WAS SO FUNNNN WASNT IT FUNNN?? WEEEE!!
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#THE SQUIRMING IMAGE#finally have a tag for animations AHA!!anyway WOOWW IM SO MIFFED THAT I NEVER POSTED THIS...#IM STILL RLY KINDA PROUD like i can do better at this point but AUUAUAUAUAU#THE EXPRESSION IS FUN AND THE MOVEMENT AND THE TEXT#i love animating destinys blade w expressions. i had another animation i was cookin up forever ago that had db talking#but ouuuhhhhhhanimating is so harddddd and im in oc world rn. weee lalalaaaaa oc world!!#i gtg be productive but i mmight come back to these tags to ramble abt eitehr the art or gillions nightmare arc
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if the agrestes weren't rich i think that gabriel would be the normal one. like gabe's problem is that he stopped running into natural limits due to absurd wealth and his obsessive nature led him to develop some kind of god complex where he won't accept that anything is out of his control. I think that if gabe was broke again and just simply couldn't afford to go on an international goose chase for ancient magic artifacts of untold power, if he had to work a 9-5 to live and couldn't just disappear into his basement lair to commit domestic terrorism and say evil monologues to himself, then he would be way more normal. he'd just be some guy. he might even let himself have a mowhawk again. but I think that emilie would be way LESS normal if they weren't rich. like emilie needs so many people to be obsessed with her so much all the time in order for her to function. and gabe would still have his toxic codependent obsession with her, sure, but that wouldn't be nearly enough. emilie has to be at the center of the world's spotlight at all times because she doesn't know how to exist if she's not performing. anyway all this to say I am so certain that if the agrestes were not disgustingly wealthy, emilie agreste would one million percent be running a massive family vlogger youtube channel
#this post is sponsored by the version of emilie agreste who lives in my mind#in this scenario adrien still exists so maybe he's a normal baby somehow. but the important thing is that he's still exploited#this is just an exercise for me in thinking about how much of the agreste family dynamic you could preserve if they were middle class#how much wealth is an enabler of the terrible things happening in that house#but yeah agreste family vloggers au. I guess.#where adrien shows up at school and everybody knows him because his mom posted his potty training videos online and everything since#he has no secrets every milestone he's ever had has been packaged up and sold to the public#until he becomes chat noir of course. etc#oh god emilie would vlog her own death😭 help#get ready with me to die and haunt the narrative🤩#ml#anna rambles#I wrote this because im not finishing my homework:(
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kathryn hahn said in an interview that she and aubrey plaza would send each other MUSIC AND POEMS while they were shooting agatha all along and if that’s not the most sapphic way of getting into character ever I don’t know what is
#and now kathryn’s on instagram posting what is potentially one of those poems#I’m losing my mind#I love how they’re fully embracing the queerness of this show it’s so great#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#agathario#agatha x rio#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agatha all along#mcu#echo rambles
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So does anybody else ever think about how Loop felt the need to demonstrate that the party's deaths wouldn't have any effect on the loops. I know I do but that's besides the point. Anyway I don't think Loop actually needs to bathe, they just like to feel included.
#'but lucabyte didnt you already do a comic with this exact same message? that loop has potentially killed their party intentionally before?'#yes i did absolutely do that thank you for noticing. that is what the cannibalism comic is about. no that was not a metaphor. lol#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sifloop#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#lucabyteart#ill ramble elsewhere some other time. maybe in a text post. but. long and short of it: even if you assume the answer to 'how do they know'#is that in sasasap isa got frozen once. theres still the fact that the loops are from sif being too distressed. how far gone does a siffrin#have to be before they can witness a party member die and notice it has no effect. how does loop feel to have planned to kill the party#during act 3. why did they NEED to show sif that. are they trying to preemtively stop them from getting the idea in their head#that maybe that might work? when they're out of all other options? when they just get so frustrated and at wits end?#loop helps in subtle ways through the whole game. and in less subtle ways like begging sif not to use the dagger. and while yes the#overarching reason you need to learn that the loops are tied to sif is because you need to figure out wish craft.... loop doesn't know the#actual mechanics of the loops themselves. just what didn't work. the power of friendship. getting the final hit in. being perfect. etc...#and besides all that.. how did loop feel during that hangout. being so deceitful. especially since before the other shoe drops#sif is enjoying themselves. but they know what's coming the whole time.#as for: why bathing? its the obvious imagery for blood on their hands/washing/never being clean. and is a bit of an inversion of the other#piece i just drew with the other casual closeness and nudity being kind. this one is cruel instead.#anyway tag ramble over ill do a masterpost of all my fanwork with some directors commentary sometime i promise. since i know im often vague
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i like the idea that, if danny ever dyes his hair, he discovers that the color turns opposite in his phantom form :)
#tehehe#i have a whole bunch of headcanons that ive been thinking of recently - let me know if anyone wants to hear them! maybe ill make a post#take my lazy inverted colors of my recent danny art to show this :)#also the green jacket?? looks so nice inverted?? im gonna have to do something fun with that#soni’s doodles#my art#soni rambles#danny phantom#dp#danny fenton#danny phantom headcanon
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On being Jewish, and traumatized (It’s been 5 months and I want to talk):
Judaism is a joyous religion. So much of our daily practice is to focus us on the things that are good. I know that there’s a joke that all our holidays can be summed up as “they tried to kill us. We survived – let’s eat!”, and you might think that holidays focused on attempts at killing us might be somber, but they’re really not. Most are celebrated in the sense of, “we’re still here, let’s have a party!” When I think about practicing Judaism, the things I think about make me happy.
But I think a lot of non-Jews don’t necessarily see Judaism the same way. I think in part it’s because we do like to kvetch, but I think a lot of it is because from the outside it’s harder to see the joy, and very easy to see the long history of suffering that has been enacted on the Jewish people. From the inside, it’s very much, “we’re still here, let’s party” and from the outside it’s, “how many times have they tried to kill you? Why are you celebrating? They tried to KILL YOU!”
And I want to start with that because a lot of the rest of this is going to be negative. And I don’t want people to read it and wonder why I still want to be Jewish. I want to be Jewish because it makes me happy. My problem isn’t with being Jewish, it’s with how Jews are treated.
What I really wanted to write about is being Jewish and the trauma that’s involved with that right now.
First, I want to talk about Israeli Jews. I can’t say much here because I’m not Israeli, nor do I have any close friends or family that are Israeli. But if I’m going to be talking about the trauma Jews are experiencing right now, I can’t not mention the fact that Israeli Jews (and Israelis that aren’t Jewish as well, but that’s not my focus here) are dealing with massive amounts of it right now. It’s a tiny country – virtually everyone has a friend or family member that was killed or kidnapped, or knows someone who does. Thousands of rockets have been fired at Israel in the last few months – think about the fact that the Iron Dome exists and why it needs to. Terror attacks are ongoing; I feel like there’s been at least one every week since October. Thousands of people are displaced from their homes, either because of the rocket fire, or because their homes and communities were physically destroyed in the largest pogrom in recent history – the deadliest single day for Jews since the Holocaust ended. If that’s not trauma inducing, I don’t know what is.
And there is, of course, the generational trauma. And I think Jewish generational trauma is interesting because it’s so layered. Because it’s not just the result of one trauma passed down through the generations. Every 50-100 years, antisemitism intensifies, and so very frequently the people experiencing a traumatic event were already suffering from the generational trauma that their grandparents or great grandparents lived through. And those elders were holding the generational trauma from the time before that. And so on.
And because it happens so regularly, there’s always someone in the community that remembers the last time. We are never allowed the luxury of imagining that we are safe. We know what happened before, and we know that it happened again and again and again. And so we know that it only makes sense to assume it will happen in the future. The trauma response is valid. I live in America because my great grandparents lived in Russia and they knew when it was time to get the hell out in the 1900s. And the reason they knew that is because their grandparents remembered the results of the blood libels in the 1850s. How can we heal when the scar tissue keeps us safe?
I look around now and wonder if we’ll need to run. We have a plan. I repeat, my family has a plan for what to do if we need to flee the country due to religious persecution. How can that possibly be normal? And yet, all the Jewish families I know have similar plans. It is normal if you’re Jewish. Every once in a while I see someone who isn’t Jewish talk about making plans to leave because they’re LGBTQ or some other minority and the question always seems to be, “should I make a plan?” It astounds me every time. The Jewish answer is that you need to have a plan and the only question is, “when should I act?” Sometimes our Jewish friends discuss it at play dates. Where will you go? What are the triggers to leave? No one wants to go any earlier then they have to. Everyone knows what the price of holding off too long might be.
I want to keep my children safe. When do I induct them into the club? When do I let my sweet, innocent kids know that some people will hate them for being Jewish? When do I teach them the skills my parents and grandparents taught me? How to pass as white, how to pass as Christian, knowing when to keep your mouth shut about what you believe. When do I tell them about the Holocaust and teach them the game “would this person hide me?” How hard do I have to work to remind them that while you want to believe that a person would hide you, statistically, most people you know would not have? Who is this more traumatic for? Them, to learn that there is hatred in the world and it is directed at them, or me, to have to drive some of the innocence out of my own children’s eyes in order to make sure they are prepared to meet the reality of the world?
And the reality of the world is that it is FULL of antisemitism. There’s a lot of…I guess I’d call it mild antisemitism that’s always present that you just kinda learn to ignore. It’s the sort of stuff that non-Jews might not even recognize as antisemitic until you explain it to them, just little micro-aggressions that you do your best to ignore because you know that the people doing it don’t necessarily mean it, it’s just the culture we live in. It can still hurt though. I like to compare it to a bruise: you can mostly ignore it, but every once in a while something (more blatant antisemitism) will put a bit to much pressure on it and you remember that you were already hurting this whole time.
On top of the background antisemitism, there’s more intense stuff. And usually the most intense, mask off antisemitism comes from the right. This makes sense, in that a lot of right politics are essentially about hating the “other” and what are Jews if not Western civilizations oldest type of “other”? On the one hand, I’ve always been fortunate enough to live in relatively liberal areas so this sort of antisemitism has felt far away and impersonal – they hate everybody, and I’m just part of everybody. On the other hand, until recently I’ve always considered this the most dangerous source of antisemitism. This is the antisemitism that leads to hate crimes, that leads to synagogue shootings. This is the reason why my synagogue is built so that there is a long driveway before you can even see the building, and that driveway is filled with police on the high holidays. This is the reason why my husband and I were scared to hang a mezuzah in our first apartment (and second, and third). For a long time, this was the antisemitism that made me afraid.
But the left has a problem with antisemitism too. And it has always been there. Where the right hates the “other”, the left hates the “privileged/elite/oppressors.” It’s the exact same thing, just dressed up with different words. They all mean “other” and “other” means “Jew.” It hurts more coming from the left though. A lot of Jewish philosophy leans left. A lot of Jews lean left. So when the left decides to hate us, it isn’t a random stranger, it’s a friend, and it feels like a betrayal.
One of the people I follow works for Yad Vashem, and a few weeks ago she mentioned a video they have with testimonies from people who came to Israel after Kristallnacht, with an unofficial title of “The blow came from within.” The idea is that to non-German Jews, the Holocaust was something done by strangers. It was still terrible, but it is easier to bear the hate of a stranger – it’s not personal. But to German Jews, the Holocaust was a betrayal. It wasn’t done by strangers, it was done by coworkers, and neighbors and people they thought were friends. It was done by people who knew them, and still looked at them and said, “less than human.” And because of this sense of betrayal, German survivors, or Germans who managed to get out before they got rounded up, had a very different experience than other Holocaust victims.
And I feel like a lot of left leaning Jews are having a similar experience now. People that we’ve marched with or organized with, or even just mutuals that we’ve thought of as friends are now going on about how Jews are evil. They repeat antisemitic talking points from the Nazis and from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and when we point out that those ideas have only led to Jewish death in the past they don’t care. And if someone you thought of as a friend thinks of you this way, what do you think a stranger might think? Might do?
The Jews are fucking terrified. I’ve seen a post going around that basically wonders if this was what it was like for our ancestors – when things got bad enough to see what was coming but before it was too late to run? And we can see what’s coming. History tells us that they way people are talking and acting only leads to one place. I’m a millennial – when I was a kid the grandparents at my synagogue made sure the kids knew – this is what it looked like before, this is what you need to watch out for, this is when you need to run. I wonder where to run to. It feels like nowhere is safe.
I feel like I’ve been lucky in all this. I don’t live in Israel. I have family and acquaintances who do, but no one I’m particularly close to. Everyone I know in real life has either been sane or at least silent about all of this (the internet has been significantly worse, but when it comes to hate, the internet is always worse). I live in a relatively liberal area – there’s always been antisemitism around anyway, but it’s mostly just been swastikas on flyers, or people advocating for BDS, not anything that’s made me actually worry for my safety. But in the last 5 months there have been bomb threats at my synagogue, and just last week a kid got beat up for being Jewish at our local high school. He doesn’t want to report it. He’s worried it will make it worse.
I bought a Magen David to wear in November. At the time it seemed like the best way to fight antisemitism was to be visibly Jewish, to show that we’re just normal people like everyone else. Plus, I figured that if me being Jewish was going to be a problem for someone, then I would make it a problem right away and not waste time. I’ve worn it almost constantly since, but the one time I took it off was when I burnt my finger in December and had to go to urgent care. I didn’t think about it too much when I did it, but I thought about it for a long time after – I didn’t feel good about having made that choice.
The conclusion I came to is that the training that my elders had been so careful to instill in me kicked in. I was hurt, and scared, and the voice inside my head that sounds like my grandmother said, “don’t give them a reason to be bad to you. Fight when you’re well, but for now – survive.” It still felt cowardly, but it was also a connection to my ancestors who heeded the same voice well enough to survive. And it enrages me that that voice has been necessary in the past. And it enrages me that things are bad enough now that my instinct is that I need to hide who I am to receive appropriate medical care.
I wish I had some sort of final thought to tie this all together other than, “this sucks and I hate it,” but I really don’t. I could call for people to examine their antisemitic biases, but I’m not foolish enough to think that this will reach the people who need to do so. I could wish for a future where everything I’ve talked about here exists only in history books, and the Jewish experience is no longer tied to feeling this pain, but that’s basically wishing for the moshiach, and I’m not going to hold my breath.
I guess I’ll end it with the thought that through all of this hate and pain and fear, we’re still here. And we’re still joyful as well. As much as so many people have tried over literally THOUSANDS of years to eradicate us, I’m still here, I’m still Jewish, and being Jewish still makes me happy.
Am Yisrael Chai.
#antisemitism#judaism#venting#jumblr#long post#I'm not kidding it's like 2300 words#and it's a rambling mess#but i needed to vent#so help me god#if you show up in the notes and are being antisemitic I WILL find you and I WILL bite you
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*cough* if you hate amber volakis i hate you *cough* (just kidding!) (i’m not.)
#house md#hate crimes md#text post#amber volakis#honestly this could apply to other women in the show…#think about park right…#people eat up awkward guys. but god FORBID a woman be awkward#i genuinely don’t understand the amber hate#like it is literally SPOON. FED. to the audience that she’s supposed to be a female house#NOW. that doesn’t mean her entire character should be boiled down to this concept#i also don’t like you if you view amber SOLELY as female house#you guys just don’t get her like i do#(some of you do though and i love you for that)#anyway sorry for the tag rambling but this is a AMBER VOLAKIS FANPAGE#i would say i’m an amber apologist but she did LITERALLY nothing wrong#…other than a few things but otherwise she’s literally an angel
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randomly going insane about house md
because
after eight years of the show, 20 years of knowing each other, four marriages between them, so many heartbreaks so many betrayals, searching for people to love and who will love them, after doing fucked up shit to each other, barely communicating their feelings, seeing each other through unimaginable pain and causing it too
house chooses to blow his entire life up for five months
five months with wilson
the man who started from pestering cameron about her 6 month marriage to a dying man
ultimately gave everything up for an even shorter time with wilson
its just
god they really did that
#im having feelings about a show that ended 10 years ago#hilson#house md#gregory house#james wilson#bay rambles#bay shitposts#house md spoilers#house md season 8#bay house posting
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eddie needs to be held up by buck's big beefy arms and slammed against a wall whilst kissed so tenderly it brings tears to his eyes and then buck gets a little teary eyed too and they both whisper i love you at the exact same time before buck peppers every inch of eddie's face with soft kisses. this has now been prescribed to him by a myriad of professionals including a cardiologist, a therapist, his captain and a priest!
#sami rambles#okay this post ran away from me. i just wanted to make a silly buddie prescribed by these professionals post#but the image of this buddie kiss appeared to me like a psychic vision#911 show#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buck x eddie
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