#post 5

[throughmilliesview]

[December 19, 2020 at 02:08] | Notes

I’m really scared about going to the therapist. I keep thinking that I’m just making drama. That maybe it’s not too serious. I keep thinking that maybe people that go, they simply went through too much. More than I have, definitely.

I used to think “I definitely need help, I need help as soon as possible, otherwise God only knows what I can do. I’m too sick and my brain is too sick as well.”

But, now, I think “what if it’s because I don’t do anything?” maybe I should just stop with the drama and find friends already, maybe I should start working so I have something to think about. I guess this is how we’re told we should cope with those things, probably why many people who truly need professional help, don’t get them.

I need professional help. But, I’m so scared. So scared. Because opening your scars that you so much worked to hide can be hard. Super hard. And I’m not sure I can do this.

[boy-with-a-gun]

9/19/24

i dont hear anything now. she quietened down a while ago but i still heard rustling and moving. shes not giving up, i can give her that. thought she might have left but when i opened the door i saw she was just passed out on the ground. could see her better now but i stayed behind the door jsut in case.

i was right before about her being a teenager. she was well-fed but pounding at my door left her dehydrated and suffering in the heat. she was wearing shorts and i could see how dirty and bruised her legs were. same with arms since she was wearing a short sleeve.

i know what i said before. but it hurt seeing some kid dying on my doorstep. i figured id drag her inside. i could get some answers out of her before i figure out what to do with her. that way i wont obsess over that damn building long after it even matters. probably end up doing something i regret or just have an episode again.

didnt want to strip her so i got some wet towels and put them over her. cleaned her legs and arms but didn't want to remove her shoes. at least she had the sense to wear sneakers, but i didn't want to touch another person. she can take care of her feet herself when shes awake.

keeping my distance and keeping my eyes on her. still hasnt woken up but im not taking chances. been sharpening the hunting knife, to send a message and to keep my hands occupied. i could win a fight against some chick with my bare hands but my days of frenzied street fights are over. if it comes to a fight id rather just get it over with as soon as possible.

didnt sleep. got drowsy but i cut myself to stay awake. been through worse anyway. im not letting her get a leg up on me no matter what her intentions are.

[livinglifeonpause]

Build Up - 3x3

V34: Park Jeup (30) (Imfact) 8 > 10 > 8 > 8 ( V17: Choi Suhwan (22) (X101) 3 > 4 > 7 > 9 ( V1: Seunghun (24) (CIX) 4 > X > 7.5 > 8 ( vs V39: Kim Minseo (21) (nothing) 4 > 4 > 5 > 6 (black hair) V3: Bain (22) (JUST B) 9 > 6 > 6 > 7 (orange hair) V36: Bitsaeon (28) (M.O.N.T) 5.5 > 3 > 1 > 5 -not gonna lie, i'm REAL nervous, cause i think i saw the Bain kid in the final 4x4 mission?? - I didn't realize Jeup was so much older than Seunghun - omggggg, they're doing BtoB?? - my sweet Seunghun "should i try it?" - oooooh, it's a good sign that Jaehwan loved it! - Wendy straight loooooves Seunghun. like GURL. - Jay Chang said "0_0" - not as good as BtoB obvi, but still quality for 3 ppl - Eunkwang almost cried cause of Ilhoon. not cause the performance idiots. - Jaehwan praising Seunghun is giving me liiiiife. He IS an all-rounder 1000% and not enough ppl recognize that. Jaehwans a real one. - Well fuck, team 1 already won this for me cause i looooooove Seunghun & Jeup - why do they film the performance and them move immediately on to the next thing? like damn. i want them in different clothes! let them have some time to think! - ew, Bain, your contacts. woof. - who said "Oh cowboyyyy!" hahah - NOT here for this. - But when Bain said "we got the *moves*" and VCG like shakes his little arms! hahaha - this is NOT the type of BS song I want to see Bitsaeon's voice in. so wasted. - Idk if Bain just got stage presence, or if it's arranged that way intentionally for him to shine - wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the way Jeup looks at Seunghun and the other guy. - awwwwwwwwwwwww, Jeupie never cries!!! (that's not true, but rarely - I've only seen him get emotional on The Unit)..... - also, omg, Baekho calling out Jeupie for his muscles! - Jaehwan with his little bolero tie and brown hair. I'd fuck him.

V29: Hwang Inhyeock (25) (Nada) 3 > 6 > 4 > 5 ( V8: Choi Haram (22) (Musicals) 2 > 6 > 5 > 5 ( V4: Sunyoul (27) (UPT10TION) 2 > 2 > 6 > 6 ( vs V14: Lim Sanghyun (26) (solo?) 5 > 6 > 6 > 6 ( V28: Taewoo (26) (solo) 5 > 1 > 1 > 1 (smooshed face) V33: Neon (23) (nothing) 1 > 10 > 9 > 9 ( - Neon, i don't love your hair like that. - how can you be good at ballad but not good at other genres? I dont get it. - boooooooooooooooooooooo ballads, booooooooooooooooooo! - Neon'S VOICE. FUCK. -- does he have solo shit yet? - I'm not here for Taewoo - This is also a dumb song. - dear koreans on this show, why is it so GD hard to match your face foundation to your hand color. fuckkkk. - It was in that moment, Neon knew he fucked up. - Taeyeon song is borrrrringgggg. - neither should have one. only Neon V10: Lee Geonwoo (22) (JustB) - 2 >2 > 3 > 2 (pinky hair) V30: Jung Soomin (19) (Solo) 4 > 7 > 4 > 6 (english sleepy one) V18: Kim Seohyung (22) (musicals) 2 > 3 > 5 > 3 ( vs V24: Ji Yeonwoo (??) (nothing) 7.5 > 4 > 3 > 5  ( V32: Jeong Yunseo (??) (nothing) 2 > 3> 4 > 6 ( V15: Park Juhee (17) (trainee) 1 > 6 > 6 > 6 (green) - Okay, Geonwoo, that hair color is straight dookie. no. it's way worse than the pink sir. and the cut. lets just shave it all off and start again please. suit the cute face. - Jay Chang said XD - that was real fun! Nakka gets like a 7 - Seohyung this mf'er opened the door onto himself!!! hahaha - ooooh, when Seohyung switched from the cheerful smile into the serious face! that was sexy! - why's his voice so deeep??? - well, I want the 2nd team only cause I like Jung Soomin and want to see more. but honestly, whatev.

OKAY. I AM READY for some Jay Chang. V12: Wumuti (24) (Solo?) 8 > 6 > 7 > 6 ( V7: Kang Hayoon (20) (Loud) 7 > 5 > 5 > 2 ( V2: Jay Chang (22) (ONEPACT) - 8.5 > 8 > 10 > 5 ( vs V31: Jang Intae (26) (nothing) 1 > 5 > 3 > 3 ( V9: Lee Minwook (23) (NewKidd) 4 > 5 > 6 > 2 ( V11: Jeon Woong (26) (AB6IX) 3 > 4 >4 > 5 ( - I meannnnnn, come on. and with a ballad?? - snooze fest - but I am not here for Wumuti. look at his posture. It just reads sooooo fake to me. Like if it's him and he's that kind of dude, cool. I'm there. but the way it reads is FAAAAKE. - Bossy ass fake little ass. - Omg, Jay Chang said "JYP? I couldnt possibly" - I cant with this kid Hayoon rapping. noooooo. - also Wumuti is doing too much and Jay Chang aint doing shit at that part. It's bad. - that was awful. I hated that. I hated their voices, I hated the rap, I hated the dance. oh, I'm so disappointed. - Jay was cute though with his unabashed "eyyyyy." That was reflex baby! - oh BS judges are having trouble who to pick. *eye roll* - bullshit 4:3. nah bro, nah. V23: Yun Inhwan (32) (solo - ENAN) 4 > 2 > 6 > 6 () V25: Ma Jaekyung (27) (Romeo) 3 > 4 > 4 > 5 () V20: Lee Donghun (30) (A.C.E.) 6 > 10 > 8 > 7 ( vs V5: Lim Junhyeok (30) (Ex-Day6) 1 > 2 > 3 > 4 (Day 6 kid) V40: Yeo One (27) (Pentagon) 2 > 2 > 3 > 2 (pentagon kid) V19: Lee Gwangseok (25) (solo) 1 > 4 > 4 > 2 ( - okay, OBVI Donghun gonna win - either do the intro 100% or dont do it at all. lame. - Donghun looooooves Jeup <3 <3 - I think it'd be so fucking funny if they did Day6 against Lim Junhyeok omfg. - why does Donghun always wear weird pants - awwwww, Baekho likes Donghun <3 babies!!! - wasn't here for the song. but meh. - Lim Junhyeok arrogant AF. "i'll tame him" like who the fuck are YOU bro? you're a contestant just like him. - wish he wasn't the "hyung" so the other 2 could tell him to STFU. - this is boring and the pentagon kid got railroaded. - WAIT. Donghun got eliminated for those hoes? NO. DISLIKE. - WHEN WILL HE CATCH A BREAKKKK? - omg, that hosts hair looks like a fruit hat. so dumb. - wahhhhhhhh, the way Seunghun comforted whoever. boyfriend material AF. Okay so they're saving 5. (that's actually a really rad twist). MINE: V20: Lee Donghun (30) (A.C.E.) 6 > 10 > 8 > 7 V33: Neon (23) (nothing) 1 > 10 > 9 > 9 ( V36: Bitsaeon (28) (M.O.N.T) 5.5 > 3 > 1 > 5 V3: Bain (22) (JUST B) 9 > 6 > 6 > 7 (orange hair) V14: Lim Sanghyun (26) (solo?) 5 > 6 > 6 > 6 ( THEIRS: V20: Lee Donghun (30) (A.C.E.) 6 > 10 > 8 > 7 awwwww,happy bby! V3: Bain (22) (JUST B) 9 > 6 > 6 > 7 V39: Kim Minseo (21) (nothing) 4 > 4 > 5 > 6 (oh! surprised baby!! V11: Jeon Woong (26) (AB6IX) 3 > 4 >4 > 5 (Seunghuns so happy V36: Bitsaeon (28) (M.O.N.T) 5.5 > 3 > 1 > 5

[gunsoffire]

Random NPC: HELP! That guy stole my wallet!

Me: *Comes back with blood all over my shirt, hands over wallet covered in blood*

Random NPC: Thank you so much! You're such a sweetheart 😍!

[thesims3help]

Sims 3 - Gameplay enhancing mods: Sim, Social Interactions, Social Groups & More.

A category-based mod post. Mods and links previously featured in our Masterlist. All credits to their rightful owners.

Categories include: traits, romance, interactions, social groups, behaviour, lifetime wishes, illnesses, new abilities and similar related mods.

Autonomous Fun In The Sun

Bring "Mysterious Drinks" (Chemistry Set Potions) To Others

Ask To Join Fishing

Advice Social Interactions

Better Greet

Deep Conversations

Sleep on the couch, new interaction

Prank Calls

Sim Like Evil Interaction by Kuree (simlogical.com)

More Negative Moodlets

The Sims 3 Awkward moments & Humiliations "Immediate Interactions"

The Sims 3 Demonic Powers

The Sims 3 Passion And Romance

The Sims 3 V*olence And Aggression

The Sims 3 Disasters & Blessings "Immediate Interactions"

Have Sim Arrested Mod

Break into house Mod *ARREST UPDATE*

Back to Nature -- Lifetime Wishes for Farmers and Outdoorspeople

One with Nature

Better Rich and Famous Lifetime Wish - 1.67

nraas Vector - custom Disease mod; must download main Vector mod + wanted modules for diseases.

Enhanced Hospitals(Updated 30/1/23)

No Social Groups

No Rebel Social Group Influence from Adding Herb to Meal

More/Less Opportunities, No Answer Phone, Call Anytime, No auto smartphone tasks

nraas - Woohooer

Better Polyamory

Retuned Attraction System

More/Less Attraction Calls & Love Letters - 4 Flavors

Romantic Socials TYAE - Same Sex - Revised

More Traits for All Ages

Hidden Traits Unlocked

Hypochondriac Trait (Scripting Mod) [For Testing] - A Simlogical First by Sims MX

Higher/Lower LTR, Unhidden Traits, AllTraits for All Ages

Mod The Sims - **UPDATED: 26-July** Cigarette Smoking Mod - OVERHAUL

Let Me Take a Selfie (Update 9/3/23) - Pets Fix

Sunscreen

Acne Mod (Update 7/22/23) - Version 2.2

The Journal Mod

Take Sims To Court - Sue Sims, Become a Lawyer, Have Court Weddings and More!

Social Clubs Mod (+ banking) - Grow Memberships, Push Activities, Make Bank Accounts and More!

Truely Unique Sims

9 New Death Types

Just Sit (script mod)

Aging Manager

Faster shower, use toilet and brush teeth mod, including slower versions!

Relieve Bladder in the Shower

Pee Here (Scripting Mod) by Sims MX (simlogical.com) - Males pee on terrain.

Unrestricted Sponge Baths TYAE

Change At Home After Work

More waking up time for your sims, available in 5 cool flavors!

More/Less Alien Abductions

Lower/Higher Lifetime Reward Prices

Herb Nausea Mods

Midlife Crisis Tuning Mod

Weddings for inactives (new interaction)

Nosy sim interactions

[trauma-is]

trauma is remembering and hating specific dates + times

.

[khakimov]

Post #5

"I'm not sure whether I'm a good person or a bad person, but I always strive to be a good person because people only speak positively about good individuals, and they aspire to emulate them. When we examine history, many negative figures have passed away, and people only remember them for their negative deeds, while good people are consistently celebrated. One of my primary goals is to be a good person, as in my Islamic faith, God has commanded us to be righteous."

To the pious: What did your Lord reveal (to His Prophet)? when it is said, they say: Goodness. In this world there will be a handsome reward for those who do good (Nahl, 30).

[kissoflightning]

Shots from my first time playing around with the character swap mods and it's so much fun; these shots look so cool! Giving our boys Leo and Rupert more exposure like they deserve!

[garrulousgeologist]

[S] Kells: Return.

I read too much Homestuck and now I have several posts queued.

So initially I put off reading more Homestuck because I care about Dave Strider too much. Seeing him in his room filled me with so many emotions it’s kind of ridiculous. But then when I did start reading I kind of just didn’t stop.

I keep a google doc open each time I sit down to read where I just dump my thoughts as I go and then edit and post them here later, it’s usually a few pages long. Right now I’m editing 25 pages of thoughts. Sooo posts to come, but back to Dave.

I just love this kid.

All parental complications in HS aside, Dave is such a cool kid. I get overwhelmed with the feeling that if he were my kid I would be so, so proud of him. He is so full of anxiety and is fucked up as a result of his environment, aren’t we all, but look at him!

Interest and talent in music, engineering, photography, design, graphic art, katana combat styles, literature, preservation and taxonomy, pop culture, web design, social media literacy, history, cinema, computer science, and the list could go on much longer. He seems genuinely interested in all of this, not just for show, though he plays the irony of everything.

Also, apple juice is one of my comfort foods and has been since I was like 5 years old. I have a huge soft spot for this guy. 

So why did that make me hesitate to read his introduction for a week? For the same reason I never end up finishing teen superhero comics, anime or T.V. shows; I have a hard time watching kids get manipulated and abused. Yes they are usually predictable pieces of media and I know they’ll end up “happy” most of the time, but I can’t help that I take it a little too seriously. The adults in any ‘hero’’s life utterly fail them.

No kid should feel like they have to excel at all of this to merely survive, and yet here Dave is.

Grand snack fuckyeah is what I’m going to say every time I enter a 7/11 from now on. 

Hello??? I had no fucking idea midnight crew was a webcomic on Dave’s Internet. I knew it was on mspaintadventures.com of course, I read it, but I never registered that he would have recognized them. I wonder if he gives any indication of this when interacting with them in person, which may or may not happen later due to circumstances that arise. 

"You push against the MANHOLE COVER, but it seems some unbelievable jackass has parked your GETAWAY VAN on top of it.

A familiar feeling stirs. That feeling is overwhelming, soul-blackening rage.

It's the sort of rage that'll make a man feel totally justified in sporting an unnecessarily elaborate assortment of fancy blades."

Something  I’ll try to keep in mind- Spades Slick has anger management issues. One thing goes un-according to plan and it’s immediate, inconsolable, violent rage. Surely this won’t become relevant in the future.

I miss the interactions between these two. Sibling energy in the best way possible. Some distant memory is telling me my favorite pesterlogs to read back in the day were between Rose and Dave, like specifically seeing the red and lilac chat logs triggers a happy feeling. Excited for more of this. 

Got me straight giggling. 

Something about genuine concern this early on in Dave’s story reads as particularly endearing. That being said if I accidentally killed a crow that caw’d at my bedroom window at 13 I would be deeply troubled. 

Skips back to rose- 

Each kid has immense amounts of blind respect for their respective guardian. John believes his dad to be doing important and responsible things at all times. Dave believes his bro is the most amazing person anyone could ever have as a brother. Anything he does must be either objectively sicknasty, or ironically hilarious. Bro is just doing what he can to make Dave strong, right? Well, yeah, maybe he is, that doesn’t negate the irreparable damage his methods cause, though.

Rose, someone I think might be the most likely to recognize her parent is just as human as she is, has the same perspective. No amount of hyper intellectualizing can change the fact that a kid is a kid. 

There is nothing to psychoanalyze. Your mother clearly has no real affinity for these damnable things. She only collects them to spite you.

If anything, she finds them even more repellent than you do. She's just a committed woman.

She hates the wizard statues and paintings, and her conclusion is that her mother can’t actually like these ridiculous motifs, so she must be placing them strategically around the house to spite her. The passive-aggression as Rose sees it could just as easily be her mom genuinely trying to connect with her daughter(sister,mom) but failing due to alcoholism and an unhealthy work-life balance.

In all cases, the kids assume their guardians' behavior is the way that it is because of their own interests. This is despite each guardian having a particular interest that particularly freaks out their respective kid. And, at the same time, have their interests and aversions because of their guardian’s behavior.

(And later it comes to light that these interests and behaviors are reflected in the alpha kids’ experiences, making the topics each human is savvy to a loop).

Homestuck is many things all at once. This is part of the reason it is so difficult to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it! (hot take)

One of those things is a coming of age story. 

This is reflected in the human kids idolizing their guardians and then growing to realize they were just people doing their best and made any mistakes that the kids now have to grapple with. A similar situation can be said of the troll kids idolizing their ancestors and then coming to recognize similar things about them as they age.

Both species have a strong sense of separation between adolescence and adulthood, eventually growing to see the lines are extremely muddled. What is that if not a coming of age concept? Who among us (sus) has not suddenly recognized the flaws in our guardians? Don’t answer that I don’t want to go that deep outside the media.

Oh my GOD I forgot about the Lalonde home fridge magnets. I need some. W.

Right after that is the first pesterlog with Jade!! I remember her being way more in-the-know about certain things like the frog ruins, etc, but I completely forgot she just kind of like knows things.

Hmm alright

Back to John chasing the ink monster. In hindsight I think I recognized that Dave messaged John a little differently than everyone else, but reading it now he’s very clearly got a crush. The in-his-DMs version of scrambling. The guy is just throwing all he has out and living off the vapors of combusting hope that something sticks.

. . .

I’m using this as an insult in my daily life now. That one stuck, Dave.

H

H-Hom..

Anyway. Put the bunny back in the box.

I just realized echeladder is a stupid fucking word. Weird fight to pick out of everything I could criticize at this point in HS, but echelon means ladder. Why..Why make it Echeladder. For to make Kells angy?

EVERYONE SHUT UP!

NANASPRITE!!! <3

Jfc The Medium. There is so much I need to re-learn. 

Me too, John. Sorry to have so many pesterlogs in this post! I don’t mean to cheapen my own reflections. I just don’t see the point in rephrasing this copied-homework style, especially when I don’t fully understand what’s being said. It’s really nice that someone is finally asking direct questions and getting direct answers though! The funny thing is in high school I thought John was lame for being so blunt and basic with his communication with his sprite, and now I’m like oh thank fuck there’s at least one logical and non-convoluted conversation between a Sburb mechanic and a player character. 

I’ll leave out the [S] GO ON. text but needless to say: Skaia.

I don’t think I ever processed the game of chess being forces of light vs. dark, but I don’t think that changes my perspective at all. That’s kind of a basic concept and in this case seems to be literal anyway. 

[S] Dave: Retrieve dead bird.

The red hot swirling sun over Texas zooming out to be Dave’s eye in some not-so-subtle foreshadowing never gets old for me. Love the imagery there.

Rose is updating her walkthrough again, so far the only text I’m just unwilling to give a thorough read-through. I skim it, okay? 

I also JUST put together that the imps’ jester hats, the jester themed chess pieces of Skaia and other imagery is part of a shitty paradoxical loop that continuously forces clownery upon every aspect of this fucking comic. I guess previously I assumed that’s just how they were as opposed to a blank canvas imp with jester imagery added to it.

"So don't change the dizzle, turn it up a little

I got a living room full of fine dime brizzles

Waiting on the Pizzle, the Dizzle and the Shizzle

G's to the bizzack, now ladies here we gizzo

When the pimp's in the crib ma

Drop it like it's hot

Drop it like it's hot

Drop it like it's hot..."

-English Romantic poet, John Keats

I’m not even going to correct this one you should know who said that. 

Tl;dr

Dave and Rose are Kell’s favorite kids, it’s a hard decision but it’s Kells’ truth. Jade deserves more credit!! Nanasprite is helpful but Kells has dumb babby disease and continues to do research. Clown culture in Homestuck is weird. It’s weird that there’s a Homestuck clown culture.

[annaflry]

La réalisation de ce projet d'arts plastiques datant de 2022 s'est étalée sur plus de 3 mois en parallèle des autres projets menés dans des temps plus courts. Je devais me mettre dans la peau d'un personnage qui avait pour mission d'explorer une planète inconnue et de créer un carnet de voyage. 

J'ai ici utilisé de l'aquarelle, de la gouache et fait des collages avec différentes matières pour certaines pages (ex: les hublots). Cela a permis de rendre la découverte de cette planète plus immersive.

[annafleury]

La réalisation de ce projet d'arts plastiques datant de 2022 s'est étalée sur plus de 3 mois en parallèle des autres projets menés dans des temps plus courts. Je devais me mettre dans un personnage qui avait pour mission d'explorer une planète inconnue et de créer un carnet de voyage.

J'ai ici utilisé de l'aquarelle, de la gouache et fait des collages avec différentes matières pour certaines pages (ex: les hublots). Cela a permis de rendre la découverte de cette planète plus immersive.

[rohitgurumith]

SOURCES AND SIGNIFICANCE : BLOG POST #5

During the session that took place on 8th November, We were asked to find a Semiotically rich media object and uncover its underlying meanings.

As soon as i heard "underlying" and "hidden" meanings, i was instantly reminded of Death Note, a very famous anime that came out in 2006. I will be decoding the symbols referenced throughout the anime with the help of Semiotics.

SYNOPSIS:

The human world is contaminated by gruesome murders, small-time thefts, and needless violence. The realm of the death gods is a mundane, unchanging gambling den, in contrast. They both believe that their worlds are corrupt, including the brilliant 17-year-old Japanese student Light Yagami and the cruel deity of death Ryuk. Ryuk throws his "Death Note" into the human world for his own enjoyment. Light discovers it by accident and finds the first of its rules absurd: the person whose name is listed in this letter must perish. But the temptation is too great, so Light tries writing a criminal's name as an experiment, which unsettlingly recreates his first murder. Light, who goes by the nickname "Kira," is aware of the dreadful godlike power that has come into his possession. Light pursues his cruel sense of justice with the ultimate objective of ridding the world of all evildoers. The meticulous brilliant detective L is already on his trail, but when Light's intelligence surpasses L's, the massive manhunt for Kira devolves into a fierce intellectual conflict that can only be resolved by the execution of one of them.

HIDDEN MEANINGS AND ITS PURPOSE :

Apples : Apples are the most significant symbolic and recurring element in the show.

According to Christian legend, Adam's "First/Original Sin," which resulted in his "banishment" to Earth, was eating an apple. The Death Note is also the First Sin for Light.

2. Colors : Each character is given a colour to represent their thought process over the whole series. I'll just be explaining Light and L for the time being, even though all colors have been appropriately allocated to the appropriate characters.

The colour red for Light is a representation of passion, fierceness, lust (for power), danger, and tenacity. The colour blue for L is a representation of peace, wisdom, self-assurance, and calmness.

3. Ringing Bells : In the beginning of Episode 25, bells may be heard ringing as L's backstory is revealed. In the same episode, L claims that nobody else can hear the bells ringing while he can. Ringing bells represent committing a crime, or in this case, death. 

4. Foot Massage : Now, this is a symbolism that is quite frequently seen, but because I'm providing a thorough response on symbolism, I'll also quickly discuss this one. This is directly out of Christian mythology. just before he died, Jesus gave one of his disciples a foot massage, and that disciple later betrayed him. in this case, Light ends up killing L with the death note right after this scene.

5. Trinitarianism : The idea that God is three individuals is known as trinitarianism in Christianity. If Light is viewed as the Devil, who murders millions of people while believing himself to be God, then his three adversaries, L, Near, and Mello represent God.

6. The Alias "L" : The fact that "El" is a term used for "God" in Hebrew serves as another evidence that the L is depicted as/symbolizes God/Jesus.

7. Light's Death : Ryuk reveals to Light at the very beginning of the story how he won't be going to either Hell or Heaven. At the very end, Light makes an attempt to climb a set of steps but tumbles in the middle of it. This represents Light as being trapped in the midst of both Heaven and Hell.

REFERENCES :

Ohba, T. Obata, T. (2006). Death Note. Madhouse

ItalianRenaissance.org. 2012. Michelangelo's Creation of Adam - ItalianRenaissance.org. [online] Available at: <http://www.italianrenaissance.org/michelangelo-creation-of-adam/>

Scofield, C.I. (1995) The holy bible: Containing the old and new testaments. Lake Wylie, SC: Christian Heritage.

[bullshit-radar]

Ich hatte mir alles so toll vorgestellt...

Natürlich hat sich meine Vorstellung, wie mein “Studio” zu Hause aussehen soll, an gewissen Vorbildern orientiert.

Also erst einmal alles ausräumen:

Licht bestellen und auspacken…

Ich hatte mir alles so toll vorgestellt…

[nemorialex]

Out with a Bang

You finally land, disoriented. At worst you’re bruised from the rough handling and the fall. It’s pitch black here, and when you pull your phone out to switch on the camera it doesn’t reveal much. The ground is a slightly different shade of black, with an uneven, slightly spongy texture. The wall behind you looks to be the same material, but what do you expect from a cave? Actually… You would at least expect an opening to the cave. The only evidence of the way you suspect you came in is a tight, uniform crack in the wall, like it sealed up behind you. 

If the way behind was blocked, you should venture forward, try to find a different exit. You walk along the wall, keeping it always within sight to your left and keeping an eye out for any escape routes. And, for that matter, keep an eye out for the poor person who was dragged down with you; so far there’s been no sign of them. 

Time was not your strong suit. You could brush it off with the excuse of “that’s your brother’s thing” but even before the magical and godly upgrades you could never get a proper handle on how long something has lasted on your own. Either way, it feels like you’ve been walking forever, but it’s only been a few minutes, right? Maybe you were just stuck in your own head, your mind spinning to process what you’ve seen and learned today. Were you overthinking? You do that sometimes... A lot of the time… But being focused on all of this information and trying to grapple with it would have the opposite effect, wouldn’t it? Spending so much time in your head that it feels quick but it’s been hours? And now you’re thinking less about veiled cult members and their tendency towards vandalism and more about whether you’ve been walking for fifteen minutes or not.

Taking a deep breath doesn’t clear your head. Instead that sickly, metallic smell assaults your nose and let’s you know personally that you’re impossibly close- if not AT- the source of it. However, now that you’re stopped you notice a change in textures up ahead. The spongy black floor gives way to a shinier, smoother surface, which seems impossibly darker than the air itself. It’s not perfectly smooth. There are small ripples lapping at the gray shore, wiggling their way forward and back. This was a lake of some kind. But a previously unknown pit leading who knows how far down with a mysterious black liquid in it? You decide to keep your distance for now, because it’s hard to imagine anything within these waters to be friendly. 

So you turn and walk back the way you came, with your right side to the wall now. The trip seems to take twice as long, but you reach the crack in the otherwise intact walls where you started. After a suspicious gaze at it, looking for any flaws you missed the first time, you keep walking to explore the other side of the cavern. 

While you’re more aware of it this time, you still can’t tell how long it’s been since you started walking on this side either. You try to glance at your phone, but it’s the exact same time as when you first turned on the light. Oh, and the signal is gone too, but that’s not especially surprising. Was Time itself messed up here? Or the cave could just be really big, you suppose… With bad reception.

So you walk and walk and walk, and you reach that lake again, lapping at the shore with an eerie silence. You’ve gone left, you’ve gone right, it makes no sense to double back at this point, and so after a second of hesitation you leave the wall in the dark and walk along the waterline instead. 

You walk with heavy eyelids, growing tired. You could walk in the forest for hours, or take the long trek to the store or wherever. But walking idly in a death pit lake cavern seems especially draining. Maybe the shock of today was catching up with you. Maybe the texture of the ground was sticking to your boots and making your legs twice as heavy. Maybe walking to Ghostie’s temple and wandering your own for at most a few hours and now wandering this place with little sleep wasn’t the best idea. Maybe Time was indeed messed up and you’ve been awake for days, wandering the dark until you collapse from exhaustion and that’s how this place actually tormented you. 

But you have to keep going, even if a rest sounds so nice right about now. So… So tempting. Like slumber wasn’t just calling you but demanding your attention despite the danger. Taking you and yanking you down by the head and stuffing it with cotton like a soft pillow…

No! No… Sitting and doing nothing wasn’t an option. You have to get out of here. Even during your worst sleep patterns you weren’t this susceptible to narcolepsy…

So you keep walking

And walking

And… Then you stop. 

Against all this black, this muffling darkness, there’s a spot of white. You walk forward and crouch down to investigate. It’s… A bone. Specifically it looks like a hand and half of a forearm. You don’t think you’ll be finding the person who fell down with you anymore…

The pearly white bone was stuck halfway in the water, and you watched, hypnotized, as the mini waves lapped hungrily over it, threads of black rolling down. As the liquid rolled down the bone, it didn’t just roll off, it etched it’s way down and through, leaving deep cuts in the solid material. Carefully, you pick it up (are you paranoid or is it slightly warm???) and dip the rest of the forearm into the liquid for just a moment. The black substance is thicker than the water you’d assumed it was. It bends before giving way to you’re pressure, and when you remove the bone it follows with like a thick sap for a moment before revealing the frail, fractured remains. It was littered with holes, half dissolved and ready to break apart with the slightest pressure…

Note to self: Don’t touch the Goop.

You leave the remains of the bone on the floor, stand, and keep walking. And walking. And walking. The distance doubles with every step you take, rather than getting shorter. Your exhaustion grows even stronger. You reach a wall again, and when you follow that wall you end up back at that same seam. Maybe you’re desperate or bored or the lack of options drives you to it, but you wander forward this time, not sticking to a wall or the water. But that’s where you end up. The water, and then when you turn around and walk into the dark you’re at a wall again. You’re on an island. There are no other options. 

Well, there’s the option of flight, but you don’t feel comfortable doing that under normal circumstances, let alone in the dark, unknown territory while you’re feeling drowsy and, frankly, starting to panic. You’ll save that as a last resort. 

This time when you end up back at the seam, you stay there and ponder it a moment. You pull out your knife and pocket your phone. Using a bit of force, you wedge your knife into the crack. When you try to move it, it simply slips out and you stumble. You huff and try again. You get a couple inches wedged in, and this time when you push it doesn’t slip out… But it doesn’t move at all. Irritated, you add a little extra gravity, a little magnetic repulsion. You add Space Magic into your movements. The blade wedges deeper, and the shove twists opens at least a full inch of extra space between the two edges. 

At least that’s what it feels like, because before you can pull your phone light out to assess the damage, there’s a deep rumble that vibrates the cave itself, and a loud groan that shakes your very core. You freeze, silently hoping that leaving the sore spot alone for a second will cause things to settle and not collapse on you. You didn’t know that it would affect the water line. 

You hear waves behind you. You fumble for a second, but you get the light on again to peer into the darkness. Just barely within range, you see that corrosive goop creeping up, consuming more and more of the safe shoreline. You don’t turn the camera off when you pocket your phone again, gripping the blade with both hands and trying to yank it to and fro, trying to widen that little gap you made with a little more insistence. You try to add more power behind your tugs with magic again, but it only gives a little. There’s not even a gap, it’s just a dent in the wall. The waves are only a few feet away now, so you focus less on making a bigger dent and more on reclaiming your blade. 

With a glance back, you have no choice but to detach yourself from gravity and start floating before the goop crawls over the remaining few inches where your feet were a moment ago. Luckily this way you can use your legs against the wall to give yourself some leverage? Unluckily… The goop’s rate is accelerating, climbing up after you and your knife. You’re forced to flee, training your light on your knife, watching the silver glint for a moment before it’s swallowed by the darkness.

You float up higher, quickly, again keeping the wall- now the ceiling- within sight as you move. Panic keeps you afloat and a twist in your gut, that start of a fall that never ends which comes with flying, keeps you awake in the haze. The ceiling goes up quite a ways, and you leave the goop far below and out of sight. You scan for any sign of a crack or a flaw, anything that can give you the same brief hope that the seam gave you. After a while, the ceiling starts to curve downward, however, and you are soon met with that hellish liquid again. It’s up much higher now, and you can see it creeping up to reach you at an alarming rate. A bump forms, grows, and the bubble bursts, splatting your boot and burning a hole clean through. This startles you, and with the jumbled nerves of adrenalin and flight, you fumble with your phone and drop it. It’s not even a full second, but it feels like it moves in slow motion as your communication and your only light source lands and then sinks below the surface.

Frozen. Disheartened. Full of fear and panic and hopelessness. But you still have room. You have room above you, there was a bit more space if you moved up. Your fingertips brush the ceiling and you float up until it evens out. Okay… Okay, now what. What do you do. You need light you need a way out you need space you need. 

Stop. Stop…

Light. 

The kindest light you knew were the stars. Constellations of new and old patters alike. The open sky and the freedom of the forest, not this horrible claustrophobic nightmare…

Stars… You’ve done that a couple of times before but it took effort. You close your eyes, you curl in on yourself, you hold your hands out with room between them like you’re sheltering something within. You focus. You imagine friction, vibrating, fusion. You imagine the points of light in the sky at night and the bright burning ball in the day. You think about a star. And before too long, your palms sting. You open your eyes and your hand, and a small flaming orb floats in front of you, shedding a weak light across the cave. The goop below you has risen into sight now, but luckily crafting this star gave you an idea.

You close your eyes again. Instead of focusing on the stars in the sky, you think about the tiny creation before you. You think about it getting bigger, eating up the gas in the area and growing. You hold your hands out wider and curl your fingers. You don’t just let it grow or encourage it, you pull it. You make it larger, and the space this miniature sun takes up is sucking in the elements it needs to do so from anywhere; the air, the goop, your fingers, the walls…

Your sun… Alex’s sun, grows and expands and burns it’s way into existence. 

They remain deep in concentration. Their face scrunches up harder, focused- determined- to grow this celestial body with nothing more than will power and unused godly resources. Even as the bone-chilling cold of the acid below eat at their feet, burning away shoes and coat and flesh and bone. Even as the searing heat of their own sun grows too big to fit both itself and it’s creator, expanding outwards and burning away fingers and hands and arms. The sun keeps growing larger and larger, perpetually reaching out to burn away the walls above and fight against the acid below.

The horrorterror which tried to consume the young god trembles and shrikes, causing cultists on the other side of the portal to wince and hide, covering their ears which start to bleed. Two gods of Breath usher people out, shield them from falling debris and the flailing tentacles of a monster desperate to escape this internal pain.

Inside, the sun continues to grow, burning the voracious acid and consuming it in turn. It grows with a power of its own now, until the burning hot mixes with impossibly cold. A beak peeks through the portal, desperate. It lets out one last shrike before an explosion of light and sickness blasts it apart. In the destruction, the alter is knocked aside, pages singed, writing on the ground smeared and changed, and the portal closes, leaving disaster. And quiet. 

It is so quiet, and so still…

Fate’s indecision is made in the silence after destruction. 

Viscus chunks of black were scattered around the room. The stillness breaks when they start to move. Sluggishly at first, but growing in speed and dexterity. Some of the goop is shed, revealing a thinner fluid composed of the cosmos itself. These miniatures galaxies are drawn together in the center of the room, just above the now closed portal. These components build and mix, and form a small humanoid shape. 

Now fully revived, but not fully conscious, Alex collapses to the floor. Frenchie and Ghostie rush over to the young Knight, helping them stand on shaky legs as their eyes flutter open. Their breath was shallow and shaky, their revival complete yet corrupted. A poison ran through their vains, just as persistant to kill as they were to live.

The boys tried to lead them out of the room, but Alex stops them, pulling away to look at a tiny piece of debris. A small, broken dreamcatcher lay on the floor, strings snapped and border busted. Their portal necklace, the first proper, original, real piece of Magic they made… It was ruined. Their temple was ruined. Their faith and their body and their possessions were…

So much was broken now.

Alex scooped up the necklace so carefully and started to sob. What little energy they had was overspent. Sobs turned to heaves. A viscus, black fluid left their lips, their tongue tasting sickness and burnt metal. 

“I messed up so badly…”

[the-tetris-effect]

Listen to Elise with special guest Jordan discuss Tetris Syndrome!

Link to Podcast (x).

Transcript under the cut

Elise: Hello, hello and welcome back to Mind Games!  Before we get started, I’d like to talk about our sponsor for today’s episode, Goop!  Check out their revolutionary Ear Seed Kit!  Use tweezers to place small 24-karat gold plated ‘seeds’ in your ear!  They are self-adhesive, and you should leave them on for 3-5 days!  We’re not asking how they are both self-adhesive and gold-plated, and neither should you!  Elevate your wellness with Goop for only $45 dollars!

I have with me today special guest Jordan, a Sleep Psychologist with the Tiger Paw Institute!  How are you doing Jordan?

Jordan: I’m doing just swell today Elise.  Thank you for having me, I’m very excited!

Elise: Of course! We are very excited to have you!

Elise: Now, today we will be talking about a study from October of 2000 regarding The Tetris Effect.  The name of the study is “Replaying the Game: Hypnagogic Images in Normals and Amnesics”.  This study really helped me to understand just how ingrained into our minds this Tetris Syndrome is.  So let’s jump right in!

Jordan: I’m very excited to hear about this today, Elise. 

Elise: So, to conduct this study, the researchers had 27 participants: 12 Tetris novices with no prior experience, 10 Tetris experts, and 5 “amnesics with extensive, bilateral medial temporal lobe damage” [10].  They were all asked to play a total of 7 hours of Tetris over the course of 3 days, and then reported if they thought about playing the game as well as whether they experienced ‘Hypnagogic Images’.

Jordan: So I’m glad that you brought up Hypnagogic Images, because this is something that I’ve studied pretty extensively.  So, the word hypnagogia refers to the state between wakefulness and sleep [11], and many people experience what we call hypnagogic illusions.  These can affect any of your senses.  So, for example, have you ever been drifting off to sleep and suddenly feel like you’re falling?  

Elise: Oh, definitely.

Jordan: Right, so that’s an example of a hypnagogic hallucination.

Elise: Interesting!  So in this particular study, they were focused on the particular aspect of Game Transfer Phenomena that occurs during hypnagogia and affects the visual sense.  Ultimately, there were 38 reports of participants experiencing the hypnagogic images specifically related to Tetris.  

Jordan: Wow, that’s a lot!

Elise:  Right? Only over three days!

Jordan: Right.

Elise: So, the participants would see stuff like Tetris pieces, and sometimes they would be falling.  Some of them even reported that the lines would disappear, just like they were playing the game [10].  Now, here’s the really interesting part of the results: None of the amnesic participants could remember, from one session to the next, that they had played Tetris, or that they had even met the experimenter.  However, 3 out of the 5 participants reported experiencing Tetris-related hypnagogic imagery.  

Jordan: That’s such a high rate!

Elise: Right? They even reported this experience at a higher rate than the Tetris experts [10].  Isn’t that wild?

Jordan:  That is wild.  So in your research, what does it appear that the implications of these findings are?

Elise:  Well, the biggest implication that we get from this particular study is that now we know that it is unlikely that, for at least this aspect of Tetris syndrome, that it is caused by the structures in your brain that are associated with declarative memory.  Instead, the researchers theorize that it is more similar to your body developing muscle memory, which is on the subconscious side of memory [10].

Jordan: Wow.  That’s really incredible.  I can’t wait to see how this fits into my research of sleep.

Elise: All right, well, this is where our discussion of this particular study ends, but I’d be really curious to see this replicated.  Reading this study has really opened my eyes to the possibilities of Game Transfer Phenomena.

Jordan: I absolutely agree!

Elise:  Well, thank you for coming and sharing your expertise with us today, Jordan!  You’ve been a real pleasure to have!

Jordan:  Before we go, I have to ask you: What do you call a snoozing dinosaur?

Elise:  What do you call a snoozing dinosaur?

Jordan: A dino- SNORE!

Elise:  Very nice!  Thank you to all of our listeners for tuning in today, come back next week for more Mind Games!

[limetimo]

Paint Me Anew

Paint Me Anew by LimeOfMagicLimo, Part 3 of Amnesiac Regulus AU

He had a roll with a beautifully chaotic apartment complex where orange was the most prominent colour that he thought would be lovely. It had a distinct personality. And it would allow a thrilling hunt for the Golden Snitch Reginald planned on painting on the walls as a tribute to Harry’s Quidditch position.

https://www.wallpaperwebstore.com/rasch-textil-new-age-319735

https://www.wallpaperwebstore.com/as-creation-boys-girls-6-36753-1