#poor geralt

[stromuprisahat]

- You ignore my orders. Go off on a suicide mission. And instead of donning a breastplate, you dash into battle, shirt open, navel and whatnot exposed!

~ YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER, ROCHE! YOU'VE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT TO WEAR!

Dunno, but this sounds exactly like a stepfather/stepdaughter argument.

[felrend]

“Uhh…”

[fandom-trash-and-hyperfixations]

This is PERFECT art for this fic!!!! I adore it!

The lovely, talented @anarchycox​ commissioned me to draw Geralt and Jaskier from her fanfic, The Courting Season – here’s the summary:

Over winter at Kaer Morhen with Ciri, Geralt realizes that he loves Jaskier, and has for years. Everyone at the keep decides the only logical thing that can happen is that Geralt court and wed Jaskier. But Geralt wants to do it properly. So the strongest, most fearsome warriors in all the land, research how to woo a minor noble and send Geralt back into the world with elaborate lists and a game plan.

And it all is going great. Courting turns out to be a lot easier than he expected. He and Jaskier will be married well before the return to Kaer Morhen for the winter!

Jaskier is thrilled to have his best friend back, and be off adventuring again. Geralt is behaving a bit oddly, but well, people get weird sometimes.

A fic where Jaskier is the romantically clueless one. Just because he sings about love, doesn’t mean he’ll see it - even when it is Witcher sized and holding flowers right in his face.

If you haven’t already, go read her hilarious and adorable fic!

Thank you for the commission :)

[spielzeugkaiser]

You know how much I love the h/c trope of 'Geralt is in sensory overload because of the potions' and with bear Jaskier that one goes both ways 🙏

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 131

Jasker is a dragon, sure. But he prefers his human form. He prefers pretty clothing and lutes over his scales and wings. He hasn't a hoard yet. He thinks. He's never truly cared for gold, though he knows that not all dragons have hoards of gold. That's just the default. What if he did have a hoard, and it just wasn't some boring old gold pieces? At first he thought his hoard must be his many exuberant outfits, but when he got into a scuffle and one outfit was ruined, he was disappointed but that was it. There was no anguish, no mourning, no big depressive meltdown over it's destruction... So probably not a hoard. Just an interest. He then thought it must be his songs. But when he heard a bard in some town playing one of his songs, he didn't erupt into scales and roars. He didn't burn down a city. He didn't even rip out his hair or anything. He wasn't even mad. He thinks you'd be more possessive and jealous over a hoard. He was mostly proud. The bard said it was a song he didn't write, he said it was by Jaskier, and he sang it quite well. But even if he didn't do any of those things, Jaskier would be mad, sure, maybe even mad, but never MAD. He thought of lovers being his hoard, but the thought went away very quickly. None of his lovers stay, and though it stings sometimes, he thinks he'd be flinging himself off a cliff if a treasure of his hoard literally got up and walked away from him. And then one day he meets a Witcher. The witcher looks at him with these piercing golden eyes, and Jaskier feels an audible shift in his soul, his being. He found it. His treasure. Maybe witchers are his hoard, and Geralt is just his first one. Maybe his hoard is just friends he meets. He doesn't know, all he knows is that he can't stop himself from staring at the gold of Geralt's eyes. Perhaps Jaskier does care for gold.

[singerin]

Slide one is actual footage of what I looked like in the middle of our move earlier this month. I had the Creeping Death (was it flu? was it the head cold from hell? was it sneaky covid? fuck if I know!) and half the boxes I packed were in a fever and/or Dayquil induced haze. Unpacking them has been a fun adventure, because I have NO memory of doing it, and no idea what’s in there.

[ladycibia]

Good to see you back. I hope the rest of your year is good

Thank you 💖 I'm trying my best to suppress intrusive thoughts by playing videogames. And gwent

you never say no to gwent

[corrodedbisexual]

GERALT & JASKIER - THE WITCHER S03E02

[xejune]

gerlion 🏹💕

[thequeeninyellowlace]

Geralt stared at the seal. It was, quite clearly, a real seal. A large seal. A big, wet, dark seal. Sitting by his fire. Warming itself. What the fuck.

Geralt shifted slightly, cracking a twig under his heel, and the seal’s head jerked up. Glossy, unnervingly intelligent black eyes met his. Geralt swallowed hard, strangely discomfited by the animal’s keen interest.

Suddenly, the seal began barking and squeaking. It threw itself forward and began gallumphing toward Geralt faster than it had any right to.

“What the fuck?!” Geralt yelled as he stumbled backward. He was glad Vesemir wasn’t around to see him running backward away from a fucking seal. His boot caught a tree root and he fell back, grunting as he hit the ground. The seal flung itself up and slam! It landed directly on top of Geralt, who struggled to draw his sword but was now lying on top of it.

As he flailed, the seal stretched its whiskery black mouth toward him and licked his face.

“Ahhhh!” Geralt shrieked like a little girl, and the the seal startled so hard that it leapt upward and suddenly appeared to separate from its fur. Geralt felt his medallion shudder hard for an instant before fucking Jaskier landed hard back on top of him, a furry pelt falling down over them. Jaskier stared down at him for a moment.

“Umm…Hi Geralt! You’re back early!”

“What the fuck was THAT?!” Geralt yelled, sitting up, somehow ending up with Jaskier—a completely naked Jaskier, he realized—in his lap.

“Oh. That.” Jaskier smiled nervously but winningly, putting on his best performer’s grin. “So, I guess I never told you I’m a selkie?”

Jaskier, a Selkie, had neglected to share his true nature with Geralt.

One fateful day, after Geralt returned from a hunt, he found their campsite devoid of the bard he expected.

Instead, he was met with the bewildering sight of a nonchalant seal lounging by the fire.

[wraithofmorhogg]

Incorrect Witcher Quotes

Guard: You’re receiving a warning for having three people on one horse. Geralt: Shit. Milva: Wait, three? Guard: Yes? Cahir: OH MY GODS JASKIER FELL OFF!!!

[minne-cerbinna]

I think quite often of the optional little dialogue tree that one can get about Yaevinn in TW2 with an imported save if one sides with Iorveth, and particularly of just how Iorveth describes Yaevinn

The dialogue prompt "I once knew another Scoia'tael - Yaevinn." will lead to the following exchange:

GERALT: I once met another Scoia'tael leader.

IORVETH: Yaevinn. I knew him. He had beautiful dreams and desperately wanted me to share them. Asked the same of you, I heard.

GERALT: You know a lot about me.

IORVETH: I try to know as much as I can - about everyone.

They'll elaborate a little further in this dialogue about how they both agree with Yaevinn's reasons and the fact that Yaevinn "saw combat and killing as poetry" which Iorveth deems unrealistic because "war is prose, with no place for beauty" (how poetic).

But the interesting part to me is the statement that Yaevinn had "beautiful dreams" and how he was this grand idealist, because this seems to be in contradiction with Yaevinn's characterisation. In his novel appearance, he argues against Toruviel's idealism as he proposes shooting the unarmed messenger. In TW1, Geralt refers to him in his journal as being "disillusioned", as well as being "a cynic and a pragmatist", neither of which seem to hold with Iorveth's account. While this can be credited to the fact that it's possible that Iorveth's past-tense statement of "I knew him" means that he hasn't seen Yaevinn in some time rather than, or at least in addition to, the implied death. He has perhaps not seen him since the Second Northern War, where they were both in the Vrihedd brigade, and Yaevinn could have grown more cynical since the Scoia'tael were betrayed by Dol Blathanna, his earliest characterisation is that of the novel canon, and he does not present a particular idealism that would reflect the notion that he is a dreamer.

It can be taken as a choice of characterisation, because for all that Yaevinn is disillusioned, he does have his hopes and desires for the future and his plans at Vizima, just as Iorveth has his hopes for Saskia and Vergen. He has these dreams, even if he tenders them close to his chest and puts the practical aspects first before he allows himself to have this hope. And I think that is a really interesting interpretation, to have this juxtaposition, that he can be both disillusioned and a dreamer, and that he chose a scant few, Iorveth, and then Geralt, to share in those precious dreams.

The notion of Yaevinn having these "beautiful dreams" is also very pertinent to his TW1 characterisation, I think, because there are optional dialogues in which Yaevinn tells the accounts of how he once lived among humans and believed in assimilation, that the humans would accept the elves if given enough time, only to be persecuted and harassed at length until he finally accepted that there was no place for him there, that there could be no assimilation, only annihilation. And even though he knows it is a hopeless fight, he still proceeds onward. He knows his people are dying, and he knows that if they do not act quickly, they will be well and truly doomed to extinction, but he is still trying to fight. That is, in and of itself, an expression of a dream for a better future, even if he thinks it hopeless, or, as Iorveth criticises, unrealistic.

Serious character analysis aside, I think that the absolute funniest interpretation of this dialogue is that it is not to be taken literally about Yaevinn's idealism or lack thereof, but rather as a euphemism -- taking "beautiful dreams" as a euphemism for queer romantic interest; hence "he had beautiful dreams and desperately wanted me to share them" is something like "he likes men and asked me to be his lover", "I hear he asked the same of you" thenceforth meaning something like "were you also his lover/do you also like men" (and the response "you know a lot about me" therefore indicating that he is correct in his judgement). There's like a whole rebellion going on but Iorveth is just checking out his options, y'know.

[k-laconia-bug1]

Well I was on TikTok today and the video was if you wrote a book and two siblings were on opposite sides of the war and they faced each other what would they say?

Sent this to my lovable bestie/ co-worker and they told me to post it on Tumblr so I'm sorry blame @raerae132

Jaskier stared at his older sister fighting for the enemy he saw the moment his sister eyes widened in recognition "I'll take on the bard" His sister yelled voice filled with false spite "Ready for a round of play fighting little brother" He felt his sister voice spoke gentle in his mind "Bring it on" as he grappled for his daggers the fight for a couple of moments when he heard his sister spoke aloud for the first time "Tell our parents I'm sorry all I ever wanted was for you to be protected." As She aimed her staff incorrectly a stance She showed him one explaining it was a stance begging for it to backfire onto the user "and protect your Witcher.. he has my blessing" before Jaskier could reach Her the damage was done Her eyes now soulless as she lays on the once beautiful field of flowers a smile on Her lips and tear stained cheeks as Jaskier cries over her body

[spielzeugkaiser]

sir, please comfort your bard, he's anxious!!

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 123

In place of August Eleventh, Promptapalooza 4/ If you ask Jaskier, dimensional spells were a bitch. That sorcerer was a twat! Blasting him and Geralt with his stupid cursed amulet boosting his stupid powers stupid man making his witcher all frustrated and sad! "Damn it!" Geralt snarls as they appear in a... Very small room. It's pitch black. "Don't fret, Geralt, there'll be a way out, I'm sure-" "Just- Shut up for a moment, Jaskier." "Right! Shutting up right away! Just as soon as I-" "Jaskier!" Jaskier huffs, and begins blindly feeling for some way out of the room. He feels a stick and gasps with excitement. "Oh, Geralt!" He swings the object around blindly until he hears the unmistakable sound of the bristles of a broom smacking directly into the side of Geralt's head. "Jaskier." "Sorry! Didn't mean to! Though you must admit, it's kind of humorous in it's own way-" *growling* "Alright maybe it isn't! Gods." Suddenly brightness blinds them as someone yanks the door open. "Can you damn kids stop trying to fuck in my supply closet!?" A man in weird clothing yells at them. Jaskier stammers a bit trying to think of like, any response, before Geralt just drags him out by the arm. They're in a bright building, with white walls that don't... appear to be stone or wood? And there's SO many people around. And they're all dressed... similarly to them. "Dude! Nice contacts!" A man in black with white hair says to Geralt. "I love your Jaskier outfit, did you make it yourself?" "Um no, I bought it." Jaskier says, to a man who looks remarkably like himself. "..Um, where are we?" Jaskier asks the man, and the man stares for a moment before letting out a soft chuckle. "Ohh! Yeah, it's easy to get lost. You're by the signing booths. What are you looking for? Merch? Photo-ops? Cosplay contest?" "A contest?" Jaskier asks, with excitement. "Yeah! Over who did the best cosplay of The Witcher! Are you going to enter as a Dandelion/Jaskier?" "Yes, I am!~" Geralt is desperately trying to find a way back to his own dimension, waiting for Yennefer to open a portal to find them, but it gets confusing when there's at least forty women AND MEN here dressed exactly like her. Jaskier meanwhile is busy throwing a tantrum over getting second in some contest, but Geralt is more worried for their lives, thank you very much. "SECOND PLACE! In a contest over who looks like me, I got SECOND place, Geralt!"

[fangirlforeversthings]

Them: imagine all of your favourite fictional characters coming together in a meet up

Me:........soo.......

...four ancient spartans including a polemarkhos a king a misthios and a general, a pirate captain, two dwarfs, an elf, the King of gondor, a former assasin te*rorist, three superheroes, five witchers, two vampires, two jedi knights, a jedi master and his clone commander, a clone captain, a Senator, a mandalorian and his adoptive alien son, a firebending war general, and the devil walked into a bar....