#poo and wees

[mishalogic]

THE CHAMBER POT!

In early day Australia the chamber pot was at hand

under the bed of Australia it proudly stands.

With nighttime wee wees there to be

Too bloody cold to go outside and pee!

The chamber pot did not have a lid to go up and down

usually covered by a beaded dolly

that sometimes kept hidden smelly pot frown.

Little kids used potty with chamber pot glee

They'd get excited to show their first poo or wee.

Before inside toilets in Australia to be found

and guess who emptied "potty" always, Mother with a frown.

Mums are nice they understand

Those bloody males can't aim straight

unable to guide willies with their hand.

Now Mums and girls know how to do it right

they sit on potty because Mums and girls are really bright!

Mothers say good riddance to chamber pot they can use the "thunder box" dunny toilet, inside the house instead! ... Misha

[flameraven]

I thought this was an interesting video in its own right, but also a useful resource for anyone who wants to write fic of Elspeth and Wee Morag surviving on the streets -- this video is focused on the Colonies in the late 1700s but most of these jobs would have also existed in the UK. TL;DR list: -Scavenger (sorting garbage for scraps to sell) -Rag-picker (similar; bits of leather sold to shoemakers or fabric sold to make paper) -"Pure" finder (collects dog poo off the streets for the tanners; often done by small children) -Ash collector -Leech collector (wade into water to let leeches attach to you) -Bone drubber (collected bones to sell to bakers as fillers for bread) -Night Soil crew (cleaning out outhouses + collecting solid waste; very dangerous) -Chamberlye (collecting dried urine from chamberbots + selling it) ...tbh I would consider digging up bodies too if these were my job options D:

[digglefartchinberry]

𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑..

...

...

"Ah!" *Gregory Clicked, lifting his head up from the book.*

"So a born necromancer-- is a.. Evocatier.." *He tilted his head, processing the meaning.

"That's a type of demon.." *He hummed in thought.*

-

"Bloody hell! Focus on translating the Alchemy you demented coconut!" *Estella Snapped.*

"Whatever you say, "Your Highness"." *Gregory chaffed, but ultimately focusing on the alchemy symbols.

Hours of decoding nd poo..

..

"So it seems.. To summon a Natural Born Necromancer, we must sprinkle cremated remains in the symbol of the alchemy of 'Creation'.." *Gregory squinted, a hint of surprise and fear coursing through him.*

"Very.. Gothic.." *He glared at Estella next to him.*

"Enough of your Tomfoolery, GREGORY." *Estella Barked, emphasizing his name,* "And stop mentioning my fashion each time there's something considered edgy, you shriveled up monkey's penis."

"PMS, like a bitch, I would know." *Gregory mockingly sung, which made Estella ball her hands into a fist angrily.

[vetyver-soaked-stars]

Tumblr: WARNING! This blog contains mature content! Continue?

Me, a 33 year old them femme: Look ya damn site, I am the mature content!

[rastronomicals]

11:28 AM EDT March 14, 2024:

Hatfield and the North -   "Big Jobs No. 2 (By Poo Poo And The Wee Wees)" From the album Hatfield and the North (February 1974)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under:    Canterbury Prog with somewhat scatological lyrics     

[delicatepainterpeach]

[cimeriansparrow]

My cat's ears are Actually little devil horns

[sillymelo]

who ever prayed on my downfall count ur fucking days

[bitchdafuqyousay]

there is INTENSE sexual tension between me n disappearing into the woods forever, never to be seen again n become the subject of a scary campfire story

[davescumbag]

[basoogil]

sound on!

yk how in games like the under of tale they make the characters go beep instead of speak voice lines...

i was thinking i could do that with my animations of wee star trek goobers!!!! (because no way am i going through all the episodes to cut out audio of each word i want them to say, and ai is stinky poo poo)

so heres a test featuring that (and im glad i did so because i forgot i needed to sync the audio to be in line with the correct frame rate.... which is why the animation is so fast lol)

[mellowsadistic]

We were halfway through our walk in the local woods when I heard the words I’d been dreading.

“Pants down, baby,” my boyfriend ordered. “It’s time for a nappy check.”

I looked around hurriedly. I couldn’t see anyone on the path, but it was a fairly popular route and they’d already passed two other couples on their walk so far. There could be someone right around the corner!

“Daddyyyy,” I whined quietly. “Please! Not here! What if someone sees?” My diapers were barely covered by my tracksuit bottoms already, and they bulged out so much I was sure some people must have suspected what I was wearing. But if someone saw me with my pants down, it would leave them in absolutely no doubt that I was a grown woman who was still in nappies.

“Daddy has to check you, sweetie,” my boyfriend cooed. “I need to see if you’ve done a wee-wee or a poo-poo in your nappy.” He wasn’t even trying to keep his voice down.

I felt myself blushing scarlet. “But Daddy!” I whined again. “Why do I have to pull them all the way down? Can’t you just check me while I keep them on, in case somebody comes?”

“No, princess,” he said firmly. “You know the rules. Pants around your ankles when it’s time for a nappy check. The rules don’t change just because we’re out of the house.”

“But I don’t need changing!” I insisted. “I don’t need to be checked! You can just ask me and I’ll-”

“That’s enough, baby,” he said, sounding stern. “You’re far too little to know when you need changing. You need an adult to check your nappies for pee and poo. Now drop those pants right this instant unless you want Daddy to smack your naughty little botty right here.”

I let out a pathetic whimper. With one final, anxious glance up and down the path, I hooked my fingers into the waistband of my tracksuit bottoms and tugged them down my legs to pool at my ankles, exposing the bulky disposable diaper taped around my waist.

I clenched my eyes shut, listening hard for the sounds of anyone approaching, while my boyfriend subjected me to an agonizingly slow nappy check.

He brushed aside my long ponytail and pulled out the back of my diaper to peek inside, checking to see if I’d pooped – as if he didn’t already know I was clean. He would have noticed if I’d done that in my pants! He just wanted to humiliate me further by treating me like an overgrown baby who might have made a stinky in her nappy and not even noticed. It was all part of his regime to “put me in my place”.

“No messes,” he announced loudly, patting my padded bottom. Then he turned me around and shoved his hand unceremoniously down the front of my diaper. His fingers probed the soggy padding between my thighs. “But it looks like somebody’s got her pee-pee pants on!” he exclaimed. I didn’t think it was possible for my face to get any more red.

I opened my eyes and looked up into his smirking face.

“But I don’t think you need changing just yet,” he said, taking a pack of wet wipes out of his bag and wiping his fingers clean. “You’ve got a pretty wet nappy, but it’s normal for babies to toddle about in pissy pants.” He smiled sadistically. “Besides, I expect you’ll poop before we finish our walk, so I’ll wait until we get back to the car before changing your nappy.”

I imagined getting my diaper changed in the back seat of his car, and my lower lip trembled.

“Awww,” he cooed, tauntingly, stroking the top of my head. “There, there, sweetheart. It’s okay. You’ll get used to being a diaper-dependent little baby eventually.” He reached down and pulled my pants back up, this time making sure to leave at least an inch of my nappy’s plastic waistband sticking out of the top. He stood back to admire the obvious bulge around my waist, smirked, then took me by the hand and led me further on through the woods.

I could only cling onto Daddy’s hand tightly, and pray we didn’t encounter anyone else on our walk.

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of poop, mentions of homophobia (joke), mentions of men getting pregnant

Desc: here the boys discuss whether men can get pregnant or not and other shenanigans. this also very fucking stupid

Mikey: i just took the biggest shit

Mikey: you guys will not believe the sheer size of this thing like it's as big as my forearm

Mikey: makes me wonder how women give birth

Kazutora: ?

Draken: keep this shit to yourself what the hell is wrong with you

Mikey: how can i keep this shit to myself when i've already flushed it down the toilet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: what does you shitting have to do with women giving birth?

Mitsuya: never mind shouldn't have asked

Mikey: well the poop tore my butt up so imagine what babies do to vaginas

Baji: this is why i'm never giving birth. looks too hard

Draken: ...you're not a candidate to do so? you're male?

Baji: what does my gender have to do with giving birth

Draken: it has everything to do with it??? what are you talking about

Baji: wow didn't know you guys were so sexist

Chifuyu: Baji-san, gender and sex are two different things...

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: sex is your chromosomes and basically what you were born with and gender is what you identify as. so since you're male, you don't have the reproductive organs to get pregnant and have a child. only female bodied people can.

Smiley: bro you're 17 how the fuck do you not know this

Baji: never been good at biology

Smiley: you don't have to be good at it to know you can't get pregnant💀

Baji: so men can't get pregnant?

Chifuyu: well if someone born as a female transitions into a man, then gets pregnant, we can pretty much say that men can get pregnant

Baji: so men can get pregnant but not males?

Chifuyu: yeah i guess

Baji: interesting

Baji: i don't think anyone's tried hard enough

Baji: i'll get a male pregnant one day, watch

Mitsuya: wtf

Draken: is the biology lesson over?

Mikey: my ass still hurts i think i'll need ointment

Kazutora: why r u reporting this to us

Mikey: you guys are my friends

Mitsuya: no ones wants to know about your bowel movements

Baji: why do you always wanna sound smart Mitsuya. just say shit or shitting

Smiley: watch, next time he'll say defecation

Chifuyu: excretion

Mikey: excrement

Kazutora: fecal matter

Draken: guys what the fuck can we not talk about this? it's fucking gross

Baji: oho here comes the fucking poop police

Kazutora: instead of his siren going "wee woo wee woo" it probably goes "pee poo pee poo" lmao

Mikey: LMAO😭

Draken: what are you a bunch of 5 year olds??

Baji: we're 17

Draken: 😐

Mitsuya: can we change the subject? christ

Smiley: i did crack for the first time yesterday. shit was crazy

Mikey: YOU DO DRUGS???? BRO

Baji: yo Nahoya what the fuck

Draken: we're not supposed to do drugs

Smiley: who's we?? i'm doing them not you🤨??

Draken: and what's Angry gonna think?

Smiley: he doesn't need to know. and i did it to impress a girl so chill it's not a regular thing

Mikey: why would you try and impress a girl with doing crack?

Smiley: she's a drug addict

Smiley: but the sex was fire tho even though she tried to kill me halfway through

Mikey: YOU'RE HAVING SEX??

Kazutora: that's not fair☹️

Kazutora: where are you meeting women?

Smiley: outside

Kazutora: oh

Draken: why did she try to kill you?

Smiley: halfway through she started choking the shit outta me while she was on top and i almost died but also it was the best nut i've ever experienced so it's a win win

Mikey: that doesn't sound appealing at all😭

Draken: that sounds like assault actually

Smiley: idgaf a beautiful woman can do whatever she wants with me and if she wants to kill me then so be it (i'm a feminist)

Mitsuya: yeah but like, she should have asked

Smiley: we were both high off our rockers

Draken: yeah i feel like she should have asked you so you could have developed a healthy sex dynamic where you both share each other kinks before hand

Baji: oho here comes the fucking sex police

Kazutora: this time the siren would be men whimpering

Chifuyu: why men?

Kazutora: i don't think Draken would use women moaning cause of how the brothel might have traumatized him i think and he respects women too much

Kazutora: also he's gay

Draken: fuck off i'm not

Draken: and Baji say something else i dare you

Baji: what are you gonna do? have sex with me?

Smiley: you're all taking this way too seriously😁

Baji: with what Kazutora said, i'ma start blasting whimpering audios when i get a car

Mitsuya: i'm pretty sure that's illegal or something

Smiley: dawg no one wants to hear that

Baji: who wouldn't want to hear men whimpering?

Baji: especially the high pitched ones

Baji: cause you can associate them with twinks

Baji: with dual coloured hair, jingly earnings and large unsettling eyes

Baji: and maybe even a blonde with an undercut and big blue cow eyes

Kazutora: Baji what are you on about

Chifuyu: wait are you being serious or is this a joke Baji-san 😂😂😂😂

Draken: uhh

Smiley: i keep hoping you being gay is a joke but then you say shit like this

Baji: why

Smiley: i'm not fond of gay people

Baji: homophobia's got you missing out on some good head

Draken: we support and respect all identies, Smiley. don't make this a problem

Smiley: i'll ask again, WHO'S WE?

[ayu-stuff]

Fank you for ur posts... I been weading dem alll mornin an gettin so fussy an tingly an blushy... they are suuuuuuper good an I hope my cargivers don get any ideas >.<

What ideas are you afraid of, baby?? I think I'm only giving caregivers some insight on how to treat sexless wittle babies like you.

I'm only encouraging your caregivers to keep you nakey-nakey more regularly. I know there's some inherent risk―all in all, you could make a wee-wee or a poo-poo and they'd have to deal with a messy carpet or couch―, but wouldn't they loove the humiliating comparison? You running around in your birthday suit would make any visitor burst into laugh. Because it's just natural for babies not to be ashamed of their nude little bodies. Wouldn't you like to prance around at the beach, feeling the breeze in your babyish princess parts? Any college-aged girl would look down at you then, and their condescending smile would make you feel all tingly down there. You can be 29, but everyone would see you like a baby. A 29-month-old, chaste little toddler.

Besides, you should get rid of that stupid modesty of yours asap. You're just a baby. You're supposed to be stinky, noisy, stupid, drooly, hairless, chubby, and cranky. You're supposed to throw a tantrum anytime you feel your tushy getting aaaall messy. You're supposed to get looong, boring naps in your crib, in the very same room the adults are loudly fucking in. And what should you do if they wake you up??? That's right: cry, stomp, shout. It'll turn them on even more.

Btw, I shouldn't have said inherent a few lines before. Do you even know what that grown-up word means?? Hear me out now. You're going to read aaaall my blushy answer again. But I want you to do it with a toe in your mouth, just like a wittle baby would. I would be so proud if you do it while in poopy pampies too. Or all nakey-nakey. Your choice, sweetie.

[frothingatthemaw]

Jackass Ask Game

The Valentine: Who is your favorite Jackass member and why?

The High Five: Who is your favorite new member from 'Forever' and why?

Wasabi Snooters: Who's your favorite duo (ex: Pontius and Steve-O, Bam and Ryan, etc.)?

Beehive Limo: Who do you think is the most underrated duo?

Human Ramp: Who is your favorite non-member that's appeared in the movies (this can include special guests)?

The Mini-Loop: Who is someone you wish they had as a guest?

The Rocky: Tremaine or Spike?

Super Mighty Glue: What is your all-time favorite Jackass movie? Or instead, rate them all from your favorite to least favorite.

Rent-A-Car Crash-Up Derby: What is your favorite .5 movie?

The Electric Stool: If you had to choose one Jackass movie to watch forever, which one would it be?

The Muscle Stimulator: What is your favorite 'Jackass the Series' episode?

Puppet Show: What is your favorite Jackass spin-off (Viva La Bam, Wildboyz, etc.)?

The Shoplifter: What is your favorite episode and bit from Viva La Bam?

The Marching Band: What is your favorite episode and bit from Wildboyz?

Electric Tap Dance: In your opinion, which movie had the best ending?

Lamborghini Tooth Pull: What are your thoughts on the ending of 'Number Two' (as it is special to a lot of the community)?

Poo Cocktail Supreme: Do you have any unpopular opinions on Jackass?

Bad Dog: What do you think is the most underrated piece of media from the Jackass franchise?

The Quiet Game: Do you have a favorite quote that came from Jackass? If so, what is it?

Bicentennial BMXing: What is your favorite song used in any of the Jackass movies?

Roller Buffalo: What is your favorite Roger Alan Wade song?

Riot Control Test: What is your favorite bit that Knoxville was in?

Alligator Tightrope: What is your favorite bit that Steve-O was in?

The Brand: What is your favorite bit that Bam was in?

Ass Kicked by Girl: What is your favorite bit that Dunn was in?

Electric Avenue: What is your favorite bit that Pontius was in?

The Boar-kake: What is your favorite bit that Dave was in?

Dum Dum Game: What is your favorite bit that Ehren was in?

Triple Wedgie: What is your favorite bit that Wee Man was in?

The Bungee Jump: What is your favorite bit that Preston was in?

Bicycle Backhand: What stunt/bit do you think is the most interesting?

Tee Ball: What stunt/bit do you consider to be the most dangerous/extreme?

Butt X-ray: Name the stunt/bit that made you laugh the most.

Vomitron: Name the stunt/bit that made you the most squeamish.

The Fish Hook: What stunt/bit is your favorite from each movie?

Duck Hunting: What stunt/bit is your all-time favorite?

Yellow Snowcone: If you had to place someone in a bit that they weren't part of, who would it be and what bit is it?

Anaconda Ball Pit: What stunt/bit is your favorite that includes an animal?

How to Milk a Horse: What stunt/bit is your favorite that includes skating?

The Leech Healer: Which stunt are you most likely to participate in? Or the one you'd like to have participated in the most (you will get hurt/deal with the consequences)? And oppositely, which stunt would you try if you could do it despite/without getting hurt?

Wind Tunnel: Which stunt would you have least liked to be part of?

The Ram Jam: How easy would it be for you to be talked into a stunt?

Mousetraps: Have you come up with any stunt/bit ideas of your own?

Musical Chair Bags: What is the worst injury you've ever had?

Firehose Rodeo: If you own any Jackass memorabilia/merch, what is your favorite thing that you own? What is the most interesting?

Beehive Tetherball: What made you want to create a Jackass blog/interact with the community?

The Strongman: Who is your favorite Jackass blog? Tag them!

The Jet Ski: Who would you want to be friends within the community but are too scared to interact with? Tag them (they just might want to be friends with you too)!

Scorpion Botox: What is your favorite piece fan created content (fanfictions, art, etc.)?

Pin the Tail on the Donkey: If you create things for Jackass, what are you the proudest of?

The Blindside: Tell your story of how you began to like Jackass. When was the first time you watched it?

Medicine Ball Dodgeball: Do you have any special memories that include Jackass? Do you have any funny ones?

Butt Chug: What is something you've found difficulty in loving about Jackass?

The Gauntlet: We all know that Jackass is very queer, are you part of the LGBTQIA+ community in any way? (Feel free to not answer if you're uncomfortable!)

The Swamp Chute: What do you think made you connect with Jackass the most?

Golf Course Airhorn: What Jackass member do you think you are the most like?

The Switcheroo: Which Jackass member do you think you could beat in a fight? Why?

Department Store Boxing: What is your favorite outfit that Knoxville has worn?

The Magic Trick: What is your favorite movie that Knoxville has been in aside from Jackass?

The Invisible Man: If you have watched 'Bad Grandpa,' what is your favorite part of it?

The Toro Totter: What bull stunt of Knoxville's is your favorite?

Big Red Rocket: Do you know Bucket (Knoxville and his girlfriend's dog)? If so, what is your favorite photo/video of her?

Flight of Icarus: What is your favorite Ramones song?

Old Man Balls: Have you ever watched or listened to an episode of 'Steve-O's Wild Ride' podcast? What are your thoughts on it? What's been your favorite episode?

Helicockter: What is your favorite CKY movie?

Whale Shark Gummer: What is your favorite HIM song?

The Fart Mask: Do you skate at all? Have you ever tried to?

The Bear Trap: What is your favorite tattoo that a Jackass member has?

Snake River Redemption: What cup test from 'Forever' was your favorite?

Terror Taxi: Do you think that Ehren gets picked on the most? If not, who do you think did? Who gets picked on the least?

Bungee Boogie: Would you want a 5th movie? Why or why not?

Sweatsuit Cocktail: Have you picked up any mannerisms from any of the members? If so, who and what did you pick up on?

Silence of the Lambs: Favorite Jackass fun fact?

Paper Cuts: Choose your own!

Special thanks to @b4mpyre-k1zz3s and @1991river for helping with some of the questions! And also @you-fuckers-are-asses for just being generally sweet to me <3

[spunsugarmusings]

Freakazoid! Starter Sentences

Sentence starters taken from the 1995 animated superhero comedy "Freakazoid!". Some entries have been edited for clarity. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and please enjoy!

"If this were an afterschool special, you would pay a bittersweet price for your little deceit. Like getting big oily zits! Or eating off the same plate as David Lee Roth!"

"You want to see something strange and mystical?"

"SHEESH! YOU'RE A CREEP! GO AWAY! WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP!"

"GO HAVE SOME COFFEE, WITH CREAM, OR SOMETHING! BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING: THIS IS A HAPPY PLACE!"

"The scariest thing in the world would be if all the air in the world turned to WOOD!"

"The scariest thing in the world would be if they gave Sinbad another TV show!"

"The broadcasting industry has all sorts of safeguards to prevent that sort of thing."

"I think there's a thumbtack under my fanny."

"Most people your age die. Why won't you?"

"If I wanna blitz myself into some papaya-induced hallucination that's MY business!"

"Can you make slow, overweight birds appear out of thin air?"

"This was only a test. If there had been an actual emergency, we would have gone like this: AAH! HELP! HELP US! NO! GET US OUT OF HERE! HELP ME! HELP EVERYONE! AAH!"

"Hey, so I'm picking up a few bucks. Don't tell the IRS."

"I'm not going down there. It smells like poo-gas!"

"A bowl! I found a bowl! GOOD FOR ME!"

"There's a door not ten feet away. A fine invention. You should try it."

"Don't let me fall into nothingness! I won't be happy there!"

"They called me mad! Insane! WENDELL!"

"You think I've got a clock in my head, don't you?!"

"That's what I just said! Can you hear me or is there a wee goblin in your head eating my words!?"

"This is frightening behavior in adults. I hope none of them touches me."

"When I again rule all, perhaps I'll keep you about as a jester, or a chimp, or something."

"Will you hug me? I'm needy."

"You're very popular in a number of state institutions."

"Get her something a girl would want, like banjo lessons or a new turban."

"Oh, yes, let ME get the tea! I'd hate to see you actually have to walk the three feet through this frightening and mysterious new world we call the kitchen. You might get lost or attacked by the dishwasher!"

"If not, we'll be unemployed!"

"That was shallow, cheap, and based solely on hormones. Works for me!"

"How come you have the IQ of a biscuit?"

"How would you like me to twist your body into funny balloon animal shapes?"

"Hey. Cut it out."

"I went to all the trouble to think up this brilliant plan, the least you can do is chase me around."

"Oh, is he going to get it! I'm very passive aggressive!"