#plus the whole ugly ass new look too

[kemalamalam]

Chevrotain's character does change quite a lot bc of it! their whole theme of abuse is like Stockholm if i had to describe it, they tend to minimize the abuse they went through bc "my abuser said it was for my own good, and they were right".

so rlly like Auntie Ethel and incorporated her into Chevrotain's story HDHAHDJ, she raised Chevrotain and burnt their skin bc "thats what they do to changeling fey children, you would be mistaken by one if you return to the material plane, im doing this so you'll get used to it" its clearly bullshit but Tain was 7 so they believed it, and they WERE burnt after they returned.

So in their head "a little pain and hurt is okay bc it had my best interest in mind", so when the Emperor offered the astral tadpole and Chevrotain transforms, they went through the same thing of "well it does make me more powerful, i dont feel good about it but its fine" routine.

I imagine the player can choose to encourage the belief that their abuser were "being kind actually" or to convince Chevrotain that they are a victim! whichever choice the player makes Chevrotain would dye their hair black to fit their new look though, and their personality shifts a lot.

Since their good looks and the whole "putting on a good image for the general public" thing is basically impossible now KXKAND Chevrotain becomes more direct, more honest and gets openly upset more than before. Which i think makes their transformation more of a neutral thing, since they can achieve the same thing without getting wormed but it just kinda makes them jump to that part of their development faster

thinking about how the first time you use the tadpole, the narrator mentions that you lost something that you'll never get back...how the dream guardian encourages you to keep using your powers and absorb the power of even more tadpoles despite you losing something each time you expand your power.

and how that something is player agency regarding the astral tadpole if you've consumed any extra tadpoles. you make all these moves to become all powerful, only to end up forcibly transformed and basically thrall of a rogue mindflayer.

[barbiiecams]

mine

rafe cameron x reader, fighting. this is short but i been thinking ab this a lot..

“rafe im letting you know right now i will fuck her up if she tries me.”

“yeah okay.” he chuckles, not believing you in the slightest. “she won’t try anything baby, leave it alone.”

he took another sip of his drink while you gave him the dirtiest stare. all night his ex, sofia, was staring you down, whispering about you, and giving you dirty looks. she didn’t like you because you came straight after her, and that was fine because you didn’t like her either.

“all night she’s been starting shit. i let her bumping into me slide, but now she’s over there clearly making jokes with her ugly ass friends. does she hate herself or something?” you sat up in your lawn chair.

one thing about it, you were never afraid to get down with someone especially if it was about your man. you definitely weren’t as crazy as rafe himself, but just maybe if you were pushed hard enough.

and this bitch who was now walking up to the two of you new exactly which buttons to push.

“great, now she’s walking towards us.” now you were really sat up, ready to smack some common sense into her if she tried it.

“you summoned it.” rafe jokes as you hit his chest, half jokingly and half not.

as she started getting close enough to the point where you could hear her feet in the sand, rafe pretended to be on his phone.

“hi y/n, hi rafe!” she says in a very unrealistic friendly voice. rafe doesn’t answer, and you just look at her with a look that says ‘why are you here.’

to your dismay, topper suddenly comes up next to rafe. “yo bro, they’re making it snow inside you gotta get some.”

and rafe being the addict he was, plus not wanting be around his ex, he got up as quickly as he could. “be right back.”

you truly should’ve went with him, but you didn’t. you wanted to get up and slap him for leaving you there with her in the first place.

he walks away, and sofia takes this as an opportunity to sit down in rafe’s chair. you weren’t having this tho.

“can i help you?” you ask.

“we can’t just talk? we have all this unnecessary beef.” she says.

“i wonder why.” you mumble as you stir the drink with your hand. the drink that was starting to become indented like a stress ball the way you were squeezing it. you hoped that Jesus was on your side and hers. at any moment you could easily crash out and she would have to deal with it.

“y/n, i don’t hate you.” she says with a smirk on her face that said otherwise.

“well we’re nowhere near acquaintances so you might as well.” you told her. yea, you were on that tonight.

“what’s all the hostility for?” she giggles, “sounds like you know where he’s bound to come back to.

now you know she did not just…

“excuse me?” subtly and slowly, you started tying your hair up.

“i mean come on, rafe with someone like you? it’s not meant to be.” she chuckles.

“and what do you mean someone like me?” suddenly the jewelry on your ears, hands, and neck started coming off too.

“do i seriously have to explain it? im not trying to embarrass you.” she laughs some more while looking you up and down.

now you were standing up, fully out of the chair, thinking about each and every way you’d do some damage to her face.

she got up from her chair as well, trying to match your energy but she still didn’t get what was about to happen.

for some reason, she’s just not getting the hint that you were genuinely about to rock her world in the worst way.

“there’s a reason why YOU’RE his ex. i hope you understand that.” you said. you were trying to actually speak before you did something she wouldn’t like.

“and that’s cool. but soon the roles are gonna be rever-”

she couldn’t even get the whole sentence out of her mouth until you slapped her clean across the cheek.

a few people saw this and immediately went “damn!”.

and when she sat there, just holding her cheek and looking at you as if she couldn’t believe you would actually hit somebody, they started going “nah i wouldn’t take that.”

she regains her composure. “you thought that was cute?” she says before attacking you right back, and now you were in a serious catfight with rafe’s ex.

a crowd forms around the two of you in a circle, people recording and being extremely loud.

you were getting hits in, but so was she, so now you had really no other choice but to maneuver your hands to her hair and drag her.

sofia was on the ground, pinching and gripping your arm that was holding her head while you threw blows to her face repeatedly.

“LET ME GO!” she screamed.

“TOLD YO ASS TO STOP FUCKING WITH ME.” you said while you got your punches to emphasize your words.

many people must not have liked sofia, because aside from your few friends at the party cheering you on, other randoms were even for you.

“DO HER SHIT IN, Y/N!”

“YEA Y/N FUCK HER UP.”

“THATS WHAT TF SHE GETS.”

blood started dripping from her nose, getting all of her face so you definitely weren’t stopping — until you were forced to.

the crowd was getting bigger and bigger, voices were getting louder and louder, but someone must’ve had to run inside and notify rafe that you were in a fight. that man wasn’t stopping a coke rush just to see a fight, let alone some random person.

but hearing that it was you fighting? oh he was on go.

a big pair of arms wrapped around your waist, forcing you to be pulled away while you could see toppers hands forcing the grip you had on her hair off.

you weren’t gonna stop that easy. you fought against their restraints and tried hitting her as much as you could, but in reality the two of them were way stronger than you.

“that’s ENOUGH.” rafe yells.

“yea listen to your man!” sofia says while scrambling to get up.

“at least you finally got the hint he’s mine!” you responded real quick.

rafe’s hold on you was real tight. your arms and legs might’ve been free, but you couldn’t go anywhere even if you tried.

once sofia was up, she was quick to try and charge at you again. “you bum bitch.”

you used your free leg to kick her to the ground, sending her to her ass once again. “WHOS THE BUM HOE?”

everyone gassed up at that as well. you’re not the type to fight like this. you really didn’t even know you had all this in you. but tonight, she pushed the right buttons and sent you over the edge.

rafe wasn’t amused at this at all. “would you stop?!” he yells again, now picking your legs up which forced you into a bridal position.

“RAFE PUT ME DOWN!” you yelled at him.

“you can be put down once you’re calm.” he says while walking away with you in his hands. he had to push through the huge crowd with a bunch of ‘move out my damn way’’s.

topper wasn’t too far behind the two of you, chuckling to himself about the fight he just had to help breakup.

the whole time rafe was muttering to both you and himself. “i leave you alone for 5 fucking minutes.”

rafe brought you inside away from the party and up into his bedroom. once you two were there, he threw you down onto his bed with an annoyed look plastered on his face.

you just sat there in silence looking at him as he then wiped a hand over his face. right after, he spoke up. “what’s wrong with you?”

you make of face of serious offense. “what’s wrong with me? what’s wrong with that bucked tooth ex of yours?”

he let the tiniest smirk crack at your joke but he put it away quickly.

“what did she even say? did she hit you first?” he asked.

“she kept talking shit. so i slapped her.”

“what did she say is what i wanna know.” he huffs.

you sigh. “she kept saying how i’m not pretty enough to be with you, how you’re gonna go back to her soon. it was pissing me off.”

he snorts, “do you genuinely believe that?”

“obviously not-”

“then you had no business to be hitting on her.” he says in his firm dad tone that you absolutely hate.

“um yes i did. and don’t even try to have a talk with me about this you’ve literally done worse-”

once again he cuts you off. “this isn’t about me.”

you roll your eyes. of course he’ll never admit he’s a hypocrite.

“whatever. why are you defending her? maybe she wasn’t wrong after all.” you shrug. you knew this was a stretch, but it was pissing you off how he’s basically saying that you’re in the wrong.

you watch the furrow in his eyebrows form. “what are you talking about? i’m not defending her, but you can’t just be going around almost sending girls in a coma.” he tries to reason.

the only thing you can do is sit there with still an annoyed, and upset expression on your face, adding a pout on that couldn’t help but stick.

he sighs while sitting down on the bed himself and bringing you into his lap.

“i know she makes you mad baby, i get it. and you’re right, i’ve done and probably would’ve done worse if it was me. but i know you, y/n. you don’t fight like that. i don’t want you to get in trouble.” he tried comforting you while stroking your thigh.

“she needed the common sense knocked into her anyways.” you said while snuggling into him.

he chuckles, “that i can agree with. but next time she really does make you feel like you need to attack her, just tell me. if there’s one person that will humble her good enough it’s me.”

this makes you crack a smile, but then both of your phones went off with messages.

opening yours, many people are already sending your fight video to your phone.

your friend then texts you after sending the video to a group chat you’re in with her, and a few other friends.

‘girl you knocked the mario coins out her head she went home crying 😭’

your other friends start responding and laughing at the whole thing in the group chat, and both you and rafe are sitting there, laughing as well.

“shit baby, who knew you had that in you? my girls got some heavy hands on her.” he kisses your cheek while taking out his own phone to text his friends.

“i don’t even crash out like that. but clearly it’s different when it comes to you.” you chuckle while getting up and dragging him with you to go party again.

nobody dares to try this with rafe tho. everyone knows he doesn’t play about his girl.

[winwintea]

nct vs haunted house (who you picking to go with you?)

pairing ↬ ot25 nct (127, dream, wayv, wish)

tags ↬ cussing, i roast everyone (sorry not sorry)

author’s note ↬ very lax and lazy shitpost. can y'all pretend like i posted this before november 1st to spare me the embarrassment and shame, thanks. also in no apparent order so you might have to dig for your member. this is the first time i've posted for all the members... also only seen the wayv and dream haunted house videos so it might not be fully accurate.

sakuya

nah why the hell would you pick him. this shit is gonna make a bolt for it and leave you alone inside to defend for yourself. if it's a haunted house walkthrough, he's gonna speedrun it and save himself, not you. if it's a horror escape room he's probably gonna get jumpscared, but will distract himself by laughing at you. NOT HELPFUL AT ALL, somehow manages to break everything. (0/10 partner, made me cry afterwards. this is why i hate children /j)

winwin

you've got like a 50/50 chance of surviving this thing. winwin's scared out of his wits when it comes to haunted houses, but in an actual stressful situation he thinks very logically. given the right circumstance, he doesn't make dumb choices, and can actually progress through the haunted house fairly easy. his only flaw is that when he gets jumpscared he has extreme reactions and always is on the floor. (6/10 partner, just make sure he isn't pulling you to the ground as well.)

haechan

no sane person would pick him, are you okay? i mean he's kinda unpredictable. either cackling and laughing his ass off or sobbing or straight faced the whole time. when he's scared he demands to be carried, like tf? thought you were supposed to protect me. whatever. actually kinda smart and helpful though like if you're lucky you two can get out just fine. (7/10 partner, because at least he isn't gonna leave you alone to die, you'll die together.)

doyoung

get ready for snarky comments on everything, "i wonder if these people are getting paid minimun wage." or "whoever designed this place needs to go to jail why is everything so ugly looking." he's a NERVOUS WRECK though. starts yapping when he's scared. telling the scare actors to "wait pls" (they won't love you like i love you) they don't listen to him though... very tense, movements are stiff, he has like a 25% chance of actually being helpful. (2.5/10 partner, someone tell him to move faster.)

jaehyun

you picked the nonchalant king himself! he'd probably be a bit scared, maybe a few jerks or flinches from the jumpscares, but nothing too bad. probably laughs at the actors or at the situation, but it's not a mocking laugh. very helpful and you'll definitely make it out of there alive! if you're easily scared no worries! he'll be fine carrying you if he has to. give yourself a pat on the back, you picked well. (10/10 partner i have no complaints)

jisung

someone save this poor baby and you because you two are also not making it out alive today. not very loud screams, but oh my god he clutches his chest and bucks his knees like he's heard the worst news of his life. 15,000 mental breakdowns in the span of a minute. asks random obvious questions and is curious about everything. he's too lost in his own head and thoughts to be really helpful, plus he's too scared to try anything so you really aren't progressing further unless you lock in. (2/10 partner, i love you ji but i gotta survive)

riku

honey idk who lied to you but riku is not brave at all. another stumbler, he's tripping all over the place, sometimes you wonder whether it's on purpose or not. no cause this man spends more time on the floor then actually on his feet. when he's collected himself and believes that there's no reason to be scaried he's gonna aegyo his ass off. which doesn't work lol. might as well use him as a meat shield atp. (3/10 partner, good meat shield /j)

yushi

also a 50/50. very very very helpful and knowledgeable when it comes to solving clues and mysteries. but when it comes to progressing forward and interacting with the scare actors he's not in his element. asks "who's there" as if anyone would answer. also in denial half of the time, "oh it's not that sc- AHJH SHHHH-" runs around and clings to something, probably your arm. (7/10 partner, just the two of us, we can make it if we try! )

hendery

i asked to survive not a distraction for my fears and worries. why is bro singing???? we're supposed to be working and solving the puzzles, no more distractions pls!! he's going to terrorize you just because it's funny, but i'm in a haunted house NOT A COMEDY CLUB. when it comes to solving clues he cooks dogshit!! nobody let him back into a haunted house thanks! (0/10 partner, i need the scare actor to mercy kill me atp)

chenle

why. you know better than to pick him. 100% will scream as loud as he can and sacrifice you in -119 seconds. laughing mess. he's like sakuya and will leave you to fend for yourself. he dngaf. will also terrorize you because it's "funny". unless it's a competition he will not help you at all and pretends like he's helping but he's not doing anything except goofing around. try again. (-143/100 partner, except he doesn't love you like in the skz song)

johnny

you make it out of there purely off of johnny’s dumbass luck. i’m serious. as soon as he’s jump-scared he puts his hands up and turns around like “helll naahhhh” and then he starts scolding the scare actor like he’s their dad ???? or something ?? why the fuck did this turn into a big ass therapy session about how the scare actor could turn their life around and use their talents for something more rewarding in life? (9/10 partner, you only make it out of there because the scare actor tearfully tells you the answers to all the clues and promises johnny he’ll work on bettering himself.)

kun

if you thought his leader mode self would activate you are wrong. completely wrong. first of all he TRIES to act calm and mature, but fails miserably. also he forces you to do everything, go first, because bro is ACTUALLY A COWARD ISTG. at least he's pretty decent at solving problems, but when he gets jump-scared he's too terrified to function, like if was by himself he would get himself killed. (-4/10 partner, i asked for a good partner not a manchild)

yuta

going with the other non-chalant king is also a fairly good choice! except he's even more unbothered and unfazed than jaehyun, you're wondering if you should be more scared of him than the actors. feel bad for the actors though like they get a kick out of scaring people and he's just like "heh. that's funny" not very helpful with puzzles though so you might have to do that yourself! (8/10 partner, you'll probably survive, but you'll do most of the work unfortunately.)

renjun

i think the only other person you could pick that's worse than him on this list is taeyong. CONSTANTLY CLINGING TO YOUR ARM. savagely trying to crack jokes but is scared out of his wits for sure. he's okay with solving clues, renjun is smart, just don't pressure or tease him or he might actually snap. honestly just don't pick renjun to be your partner. (-127/10 partner, why are we still here? just to suffer?)

taeyong

you are 100 percent getting killed today !! congratulations !! or maybe you wanted that? poor bubu was not cut out for this line of work okay. he screams the loudest screams you've ever heard, does not function normally after the first scare. you could've picked anyone else and maybe you would've had a 99.99% chance of dying instead of 100. (-553/10 partner, PICK BETTER PLEASE. i'm so fucking mad /hj)

ten

he's a runner he's a track star !! he's literally a cat. what else did you expect? him to not be a scaredy cat? when u call him out for being unhelpful or too scared he'll gaslight tf out of you. he'll also deflect and start saying everything you're doing wrong as if you aren't the ONLY PERSON DOING ANYTHING AT ALL?? “stop pushing me” EXCUSE ME? YOU PUSHED ME? makes me so mad, but at least he sometimes is helpful i guess. (-40/10 partner, you should know better than to pick him.)

sion

better than kun maybe on par with winwin i'd say. his leader mode is definitely more active here, also tries to play up and be brave, gets scared very easily but it's okay. he reacts quickly and that's honestly all that matters in a haunted house bc if you can get out of that inital shock and think logically about the situation you can survive about anything. very good with puzzles i don't think he's a bad option! (8/10 partner, jaehyun maybe enlisting in a couple of days but at least we have sion)

jeno

might be the one of the best options out of all of these clowns. but again nct is a circus and they are so unpredictable. i would feel safe with jeno though. he's suspiciously quiet, and not very reactive when it comes to the scares. very smart too like he solves the puzzles in seconds too. take jeno with you and you are LIVING TO SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! (12/10 partner, very satisfied would recommend. )

xiaojun

you picking xiaojun is like whoever tf seulgi is singing to that knows 28 reasons to run away but chooses to depend on her anyways. LIKE CMON. xiaojun definitely scares himself. also he's really loud in general like you need something to shut him up with. bad at puzzles, okay with scares, idk if you're gonna survive broski. (2/10 partner, maybe xiaojun has dumb luck and you'll survive, who knows.)

ryo

way more mature than sakuya, i'm convinced you will actually survive! this little maltese is very brave and will definitely go first if you're too scared. also willing to throw hands but let's talk about that later you will make it out of there in decent time, and not struggle that much. may get a little bit scared, but he regains his courage very easily! (10/10 partner, guys i love ryo a lot. he's literally my child.)

jaemin

yes jaemin is a good pick, he’s not that phased by scare actors and will even try to talk to some of them about their day. spreads positivity but will probably mock you for being too scared if you get scared by the jump-scares. if you can deal with that you should be fine. he’s not as good as jeno is with the puzzles but can hold his own weight fairly well. “can we go again?” absolutely not. (8/10 partner, would’ve been higher but for that last comment he’s getting marked down a couple of points.)

jungwoo

just because this man isn’t vocal when he’s scared does not mean he isn’t shitting himself right now. instead of screaming, he opts to stumble and fall instead. any little noise will make him jump, even if it’s caused by himself. closes his eyes because “i can’t get scared if i can’t see them!” he was incorrect. jungwoo can in fact get scared if he can’t see them. (0/10 partner, no negatives for jungwoo but you probably won’t survive.)

mark

best option in my opinion. the only leader who calms down the fastest and reacts the best. i mean he deals with haechan and chenle on a daily basis so he has some practice. all his years of testing his patience has prepared him for this moment. deep inside he’s paranoid as hell, but that really doesn’t distract him from getting you two out of there as quickly as he can. extremely motivated and works hard to solve the puzzles. (17/10 partner, much better than his egg making abilities!)

jaehee

he thought it was going to be fun. it was not. “this was NOT a good idea. oh MY GOd-“ pointing to every little thing, “did you see that”. okay but his prediction game is kinda on point though. thanks to his paranoia he manages to predict all the jumpscares. so eventually you two come up with a plan to scare the actors themselves which actually works surprisingly, and lessens your worries about the whole thing. maybe it was fun after all. (8/10 partner, you got banned from coming back though)

yangyang

now most of y’all might think that yy will whine and scream and cry in a haunted house. and, you’re not wrong! but in terms of the pussy-ness scale against the rest of these clowns, yangyang is actually pretty good at this. he’ll flinch, react, scream, and run away, but he takes the lead. willingly to go first, even if he himself is shaking in his thousand dollar shoes the entire time. good at puzzles too! (7/10 partner, so good so bad like whatever zb1 said!)

perm taglist ↬ @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @ldh0000 @galacticnct

[tossawary]

Looking up some things has turned into reading the last 100 or so chapters of the "Naruto" manga for fun, because why not. Some random assorted notes so far (as of finishing Chapter 661):

This end fight is so fucking long, there are so many characters, and the pacing is bordering on excruciating. There's some stuff happening here that's delicious, but there's a lot of messy back and forth of the narrative focus that I personally am not fully vibing with. I cannot imagine trying to follow this split story weekly. This is common enough to a lot of big shounen mangas.

I generally like the basic artstyle here (the use of white and black especially), but the quality of page composition, panel composition, and scene clarity generally is obviously suffering heavily from these chapters being pushed out too quickly. I can barely tell some characters apart and some panels are just messes of lines. This is also common enough among mangas, so eh, it's also whatever.

It's kind of funny to me how Hashirama and Tobirama and Minato suddenly become major characters for like a solid 30 chapters or so. Like, yeah, I can see why Founders Era fic is popular. The flashback chapters themselves are pretty short, but Madara is one of the main villains in this fight, and the undead Senju brothers are suddenly here to kick ass on a level apparently far beyond most other characters. The grudges and betrayal here are delicious. These are also the people who founded Konoha itself, the main location of the manga for hundreds of chapters now, honestly not that many generations ago. It also helps that the Founders feel like they have nicely complete tragic arcs and lives to work with, instead of the relatively open-ended narrative mess that the main Naruto characters live in.

Also, Hashirama can definitely act the idiot and I think some of his choices / opinions are stupid as hell, but he's obviously a very clever and observant and ruthless person. Tobirama went on to become Hokage after his brother and will not hesitate to forcefully give his opinions, but it's also clear in some scenes that Hashirama is still the one in charge between them. Tobirama seems to fairly naturally fall into a very useful support role to whoever he's fighting with, including Minato and Naruto.

I like both Minato and Tobirama because I have a weakness for characters who engage with their magic systems to make new things. Minato improved on the Flying Thunder God technique and Orochimaru improved on the Edo Tensai technique, but Tobirama invented BOTH of those things? PLUS Shadow Clones??? All of which are basically carrying a significant part of the battle right now? Like, damn, Hashirama has his Mokuton, and Tobirama was stubbornly like, "Not being left behind. Fuck you."

So, yeah, the "Hashirama versus Madara", "Tobirama versus Madara", "Minato (plus Naruto & Tobirama) versus Obito", and "Kakashi versus Obito" are probably my favorite parts of this. Not knocking on Naruto or Sasuke or the large background mob of characters here, but they just do not have the same personal, ugly, emotional history in this fight, so I don't really care as much.

Ino can forcibly link hundreds of unknown minds together so Shikamaru can broadcast battle plans??? Holy shit??? The vibe I'm getting is that she was using the link apparently created by Naruto's chakra to do this, but still. Both Ino and Sakura have the potential to be incredibly OP badass characters and they are generally just... Not Allowed to take the spotlight here.

Shikamaru had this big dramatic chapter about surviving to become Naruto's future advisor someday, and I had to repress the urge to holler, "Gaaaaay!" at the screen. I do love the inherent homoeroticism of a right-hand man. (Also, *waves a hand vaguely* Gaara's whole everything.)

To be honest, though, I'm not even sure what Sasuke has spent the past fifty chapters doing. He's there! He sure is there! I think he just got stabbed, so now he gets to be emotional motivation for Naruto again. As far as I understand it, not being sure what Sasuke is actually doing sums up basically everything he does in the manga. There are too many characters here.

On that note, the vibe I'm getting from Orochimaru is that he's also mostly just here to spectate. Like, yeah, I know. Characters like Orochimaru and Sakura and Tsunade are keeping everyone alive with their bare fucking hands right now, but also, give Orochimaru some opera glasses and an alcoholic beverage and it wouldn't feel that out of place.

I'll probably have more to add at some point, but these are the (not that serious) notes off the top of my head.

[interstellarrisa]

Things to manifest˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

school edition˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

𓆩♡𓆪 school renovations

your school get's renovated and looks much more prettier than before and not as run down (if your school looked ugly and run down). you don't really need to script in a whole new building just that the corridors and the school in general just looks much more cleaner and newer.

𓆩♡𓆪 nice new teachers

who wouldn't like nicer teachers? you can make them helpful, not strict and that they don't shame you in front of the class. you can even replace the crankier teachers with them plus make them patient and good at teaching.

𓆩♡𓆪 desired friend group

if you already have a good friend group ignore this then but if you don't have any friends or your friends are toxic go ahead and manifest this. you can have your desired friends with your desired traits and even manifest them to be like your favorite fictional character!

𓆩♡𓆪 pretty school uniforms

you can manifest that your school implements uniforms and not those ugly ones but the pretty ones. you can search on pinterest for cute uniform ideas.

𓆩♡𓆪 sleepy cool student

that you have the sleepy student who still get's top grades! yk that one character in shows and movies who sit by the window and is all mysterious, nobody can get close to them because of their cold aura and overwhelming visuals? that could be you!!!

𓆩♡𓆪 wattpad/shoujo love story

hear me out tho... it would be really fun too, like every morning you wake up and pretend you're y/n or the main character of a shoujo romance show and you can even write your own romance story of how it'll all go exactly and just make it a reality.

𓆩♡𓆪 school's it girl

you're the most popular, prettiest and smartest person in your school. everyone want's to either be your friend or date you. you're like the wonyoung of your school.

𓆩♡𓆪 new students

if your classmates are a little boring or just plain rude (like mine) just kick em out and replace them with more fun people who you can have a good time with and aren't bullies.

𓆩♡𓆪 straight a's

this speaks for itself. having good grades feels nice and is great for your future but studying is a REAL pain in the ass so why not just manifest it? if you can imagine it you can have yk ;)

𓆩♡𓆪 aesthetic school

your school get's posted to pinterest and it becomes well known for being so pretty and aesthetic with good education so it becomes a bunch of peoples dream school.

𓆩♡𓆪 school competition with a prize

imagine this: your school organizes a dance competition for example and you and your friends participate in it and end up winning a HUGE cash prize together with a trip to an amusement park or something, wouldn't it be fun?

𓆩♡𓆪 academic rivals

HEAR ME OUT PART 2, this could be apart of the wattpad story thing i put earlier. like imagine a cocky boy/girl flexing their score that's like one point higher than yours and at the next test you show em their place (beneath you) and you kinda continue back and forth. the rest of the class are used to it by now lol.

divider by @k1ssyoursister im too lazy to check if there are any mistakes so sorry if there is (シ_ _)シ

[hedghost]

Hedge’s Official Ranking of the 24/25 WSL Kits That Literally Nobody Asked For - Home Edition

please please tell me your thoughts in the reblogs or tags!!! i love hearing other people’s critiques. this is the one time the woso community can all come together and complain about the same thing!

1.Liverpool

potentially a controversial opinion but this is Nice As Hell! i know a lot of people said the collars are ugly but like idk it’s kinda giving if you ask me. it’s bold, it’s a statement. i love retro. this is just a good kit. it’s doing bits without doing too much. simple, tasteful, plus a little subtle pizzazz with those jaunty ass stripes - werk it ladies!

plus this kit is made from recycled plastic bottles, nice job! save those turtles liverpool!

apparently the pattern spells out ynwa, which i’m totally Not seeing (maybe i misunderstood this). i’m getting a Y, and then like an H in there maybe? and then i’m just lost, so not sure you hit the mark with that one, but love you for trying! it’s a cool pattern regardless, so i’d maybe just ditch the whole symbolism jargon and stick with that. overall nice job guys - 9/10

bonus points for that prematch shirt, love the detailing on it very sexy top marks

2. Arsenal

sorry arsenal fans, this shit is ugly as fuckkkkk - i’m not even being biased or trying to start fights (for once) it’s just like so hideous. i didn’t really like last season’s but compared to this that was a masterpiece. it’s so PLAIN! the weird red splodge is like not flattering at all and the blue? what’s that all about? also i fucking hate the back it looks like a used period pad, so hopefully the numbers fix that.

praying for your sakes you get a nice third kit or something bc this is ass.

also i’m a HATER for minimalist badge designs. this cannon logo makes the shirt look like a uniform for a museum volunteer. don’t get me wrong - arsenal is not the only culprit. what has a good old crest ever done to you? why do we hate maximalism? why do we hate fun? - 4/10

3. Manchester City

now this is fine. it’s just fine. it’s objectively nice, but it’s also objectively boring! as! fuck! the solid blue is clean but a little too flat. something looks off. it’s missing something. idk it’s nice ig, but it also seems identical to last season? if i saw these pics with no context i’d literally think it was from this year, but that’s the case with most top tier clubs it seems. have some fun guys! push the boat out! where’s the whimsy? but yeah anyway it’s alright.

at least they tried with the sleeves. allegedly they have the manchester dialling code 0161 on them but i mean - do they? do they really? because it looks like a bus seat to me. city fans decide for yourself i guess, because i for one won’t be getting close enough to a city shirt to look

it’s also made from recycled waste textiles so yay again! probably made from all the city shirts people threw out after they all but fucked the title 🤭 - 7/10

4. Tottenham Hotspur

wow spurs this is nice. it’s just so clean, so crisp. my normal issue with spurs kits is their absolute undying commitment to being plain as fuck. they picked one colour, white - arguably the most boring colour of all, arguably even the total absence of colour - and stuck to it. this however? it’s simplicity done well. it’s still plain and simple, but in a gorgeous sexy way. those navy retro colourblock sleeves? stunning! the crispest white you’ve ever seen? stunning! the tiniest of sleeve embellishments? stunning! simplicity done well. it’s just so crispy. pleases my eye.

also huge respect to them for not jumping of the band wagon with the whole ‘every shirt must have ugly details with symbolic meaning we grasped at straws to come up with in order to do something new and edgy’. spurs said no! they said ‘oh this? yeah this is a football shirt. what does it mean? it means football shirt.’ thanks spurs, good job - 9.5/10

5. Crystal Palace

ummmm. now. hmm. uhh. what? this is, um, what? give me a second to get my thoughts in order. i don’t know what is happening here and i’m at a loss for words.

right. crystal palace. inaugural season in the wsl. making a statement. making a splash. right. here’s the thing. i’m always saying wsl kits are too boring. i’m always saying we want fun patterns and whimsy. i’m looking at this in genuine confusion because i actually do not know what is going on here. do i like it? not sure? do i hate it? also not sure?

i think i kind of like it? but i also kind of hate it? it’s insanely busy, it’s probably the most garish kit i’ve ever seen in my life. i think part of the problem is that the club doesn’t have a great colour palette to work from. it’s very bright. i do love the pattern of the eagle crest in the blue, that’s a huge win from me. it’s just those spray paint red splatters that’s throwing me off. it looks like they spent ages making a lovely blue eagle pattern and then remembered they needed red in there so just used the funky spray tools on microsoft paint to draw over the top. it’s giving shit cgi blood splatter in a low budget zombie film. it’s like the barcelona shirts if they were designed by a gcse art student on an acid trip.

the more i’m looking at it however, i’m kind of loving it? kinda camp i guess. this one could be a grower. i’m still confused. at least they’ll make a splash in the wsl - 6/10

6. Manchester United

you’d think by now that i would have learnt to not get my hopes up with this club. remember the long long list of disappointments from yanited this season that i never shut up about? yeah, add this kit to that list.

listen it’s not awful. it’s not ugly, it’s not an eyesore. at the very least, it’s classic united. but it’s just so! bloody! dull! i’m literally falling asleep looking at it. it’s a t-shirt. its literally just a t-shirt. the problem is they set the bar too high last year, with that beautiful pattern and beautiful shade of red. and now, in proper united style, we’re straight back to mediocrity.

let’s talk details. oh wait, they aren’t ANY. there is nothing to say about this kit because there is nothing going ON with this kit. i like the white stripes. that’s it. theres the ombré red at the bottom, which is like- it’s okay. problem is - there’s like four too many shades of red on this shirt, and none of them are that nice. it needs a pattern or something! a pop! a little pizzazz! not a fan of the curved back panel, but it does look a whole lot better than arsenal’s at least.

this is absolutely nothing groundbreaking but it’s fine. it’s just so fucking plain. i know my girls will still serve in it, but i hoped for more. of course, in true united fashion: it’s the hope that kills you - 6/10

7. Chelsea

the tagline for this release is 'we burn blue', because 'the hottest part of the flame burns blue'. congrats on passing year seven chemistry guys. anyway, with that in mind, this kit is, naturally of course, patterned with a mystery blue LIQUID. im not seeing flames in any part of this kit. literally how is this meant to look like fire. this tagline is pure bollocks. it literally could not look more like water if it tried. aka, the opposite of fire.

the kit itself, i'm honestly struggling to form an opinion. i dont think i hate it, but i dont love it either. it may have been easier to figure out if i could actually SEE the kit in any of the release photos, instead of some stupid fucking slow motion blur effect. this pic makes mayra look like she's undergoing mitosis. poor girl's been through enough. it says a lot that in your official kit release you're actively preventing me from looking at the kit.

its not awful? i'm not a fan of these kind of realistic graphics on kits, just makes it look fake and cheap, but like, idk its kinda cool ig. the more i look the more i'm down with it. the colours are nice. its shiny. i'm glad we've gone for originality at least. patterns are fun. - 7.5/10

8. Brighton

i missed this release bc i saw the pictures and genuinely did not realise it was a different kit oops. i do feel bad for clubs who have committed to a striped kit because honestly there’s not really many ways you can play with that. but also that’s kind of their own fault. there’s really not much you can say about this. the sleeves are white this time… okay… there’s a faint pinstripe down each stripe… okayyy… yep that’s kind of it really.

it’s clean, it’s classic brighton, it’s a decent kit. there’s just genuinely nothing new about this. it’s fine. they just clearly couldn’t be bothered and i respect that. - 6/10

9. West Ham

okay we’re doing turtlenecks now apparently!! interesting choice!! i think it kinda looks fuckass silly but also i kind of like it actually. bit of fun innit. good stripes.

the rest of the kit is pretty mid. plainer than a toast sandwich. except for the sleeves! because this year, not only are they bringing in turtlenecks, west ham have decided to also bring in milkmaid sleeves! why is it like that? like is it just a weird bad fit or have they put a fucking elasticated band on? who’s idea was that? what is going on! also am i having a stroke or has the badge changed colour. because it looks fucking hideous. what did they do that for.

i do love the fact they did this shoot in a pub though. very funny. and the kit isn’t too bad. i like the stripes - 6/10

10. Leicester

this is the plainest most boring kit i have ever seen with my own two eyes. that is literally all i can say about this. boring. much like the city of leicester itself.

however - the women have a different kit sponsor to the men and i respect that so you can have one bonus point - 4/10

11. Everton

i’ll be totally honest - i wasn’t expecting everton to give me like the best kit of the bunch. this is the kit for me. i like this one a lot. castore may be mega shit quality but at least they don’t just copy paste all their kits.

i fucking love the pattern here. it’s subtle but it’s nice! and it’s different! we’re not doing any mad shit like chelsea, we’re not doing absolutely nothing at all like leicester. the perfect middle ground of the blue kits. the sponsor is hideous but i’m ignoring that. this is just lovely to look at. stylish, sleek. it’s giving high quality bus seats. this is no stagecoach, this is private hire only. i just love it. and then to top it all off, just the perfect amount of collar detailing. i would be a happy toffee if i was wearing this. gorgeous. loses half a point because the badge fell off during the game which is hysterical.- 9.5/10

12. Aston Villa

this is just the west ham kit if west ham were normal. it’s nothing to write home about, but i do like it. i like the block sleeves and the stripe colour. i like the subtle stripes down the side. i like the simplicity. i like the collar stripes. i even like the flat badge. also i’m assuming this is a betting sponsor which sucks but i do have to say that the sponsor looks great with this kit. it blends in, which is rare. this is a clean, classic kit, and i’m glad that at least one team could be normal. i don’t like that there’s pretty much nothing i can make fun of here. unfortunate for me, good for villa. good job - 8/10

note - all this was written as soon as each club released their kit, so some of my opinions have changed, and a lot have grown on me (looking at you united), but i’ve left the review untouched so you can get purely my honest first impression.

away, third and goalkeeper ratings are currently in progress so expect them once they've all been released! these posts literally never get any notes but i absolutely love doing them so i'm doing it anyway, but if you did wanna encourage me with some nice comments that wouldn't go amiss ;) xx

[sol-consort]

Hmmm...taboos on human/krogan coupling aside, what do you think could potentially draw any sort of krogan, male or female, to feel attracted to humans?

Would it be more of a personality-based thing considering how soft & fragile we are physically?

Looks wise?

Nada, Null, zero out of ten. We are an ugly duckling to them. The looks department has announced bankruptcy and will be shortly shutting down soon.

Well...unless you remember that the asari and humans could wear the same armour in ME1, and their statues at the temple look very similar to us. Then, by accounts, humans should be borrowing from the asari hotness in the eyes of the rest of the galaxy since we look so much alike.

+ we have guys

And Krogans hit on asari an absurd amount. Unless their attraction is solely based on asari's ability to reproduce with them? Then humans are still a zero.

We look so different from krogans that the only way for them to find us attractive would be through a "monsterfucker" kinda of attraction.

With us being the said monster.

Not necessarily an intimidating monster, but not like how you'd be attracted to an elf either, since elves are very similar looking to us.

You could make the argument that being attracted to humans in krogan society is the krogan equivalent of a human furry.

Our thin fragile necks must especially make them feel uneasy.

But they'd like our curves and fat! I'm looking at their physical build, and even male krogans have prominent hips.

Unless those are shells...

I don't think our hair is very appealing. Soft skin, small faces, and hair "fur" remind them of pyjack puppies. We're just missing the tail. Actually, the tail would've made us more appealing since Krogans still have their tail.

Our eyes! They must like our eyes. In comparison to most animals, humans have small eyes. But so do Krogans! Small eyes must be a plus. Unsure about the eyelashes and eyebrows, tho.

They have slit pupils, I wonder if they function like cats. Do our round ones make us appear constantly vigilant and focus? Like a predetor preparing to jump at its prey?

-

Personality wise?

We don't have a stick up our ass like the turians, we don't nag them like the salarians, we aren't holier than thou like the asari.

We are digestible. A little daredevil-ly, in fact, would lose an arm to pet a varren.

Let's do a little class exercise, I want you, yes you reading this, to close your eyes for a moment and imagine you're on a bus, sitting next to a krogan.

This is your reality, krogans have existed your whole life. They're rare to see, yeah, but nothing bad really.

What would you do? Realistically.

Mind your business! Duh. 99% of humans would just glance at the krogan maybe once, then go back on their phone. Nothing less, nothing more.

Now this simple act, seems to be lost on the rest of the galaxy's species who absolutely cannot mind their fucking business when a stranger krogan sits next to them. No, they have to make a big deal and either switch seat or feel threatened by the krogan, which leads to an argument.

Humans weren't there for the genophage or the war. Humans are a blank page when it comes to krogans. A new start, they really need like a breath of fresh air because dealing with any other race is too damn suffocating right now.

With time, as the wounds heal and people stop mindlessly discriminating against krogans, bridges will be rebuilt between them and the rest of the galaxy.

But as it stands today, humans are the ones most acting the most normal around Krogans. Leading to us forming the most alliance, friendships, and relationships.

Plus they must enjoy our easily influenced personality. We pick up habits from those around us, we cave under social pressure, we enjoy both the thrill and the softness of life. The same human wrestling with a krogan with little regards to their own easily breakup bones, would be down to cuddling with the same krogan on a comfy bed after they get tired.

Krogans were uplifted from the Stone Ages, and we humans are still running on old stone-age hardware bodies. We hold a lot of the primal urges our ancestors did. Evolution takes an absurdly long time to even make a dent into a species. There is very little difference between us and humans 2000 years ago.

We are feral to an extent, Krogans would absolutely adore that.

-

Culture wise?

We are diverse! unimaginably so. There are humans bound to click with krogan culture, bound to see the appeal they see, to fall in love with Tuchanka's deadly wastelands.

We can easily eat their food, we can eat most alien foods.

We didn't explore the galaxy just so we can nest up in our own cushy planet amidst our own coddling civilisation! We wanna explore dammit! Actually explore and verge into new cutleres, appreciate their customs and see if we can find ourselves a fitting place there.

You'd find humans on Tuchanka, merchants who just decided to stay one day and make this place their new home. Runaways looking for a new chance, tired of the constant social games. Humans who followed their krogan friends back home and found out that this place is pretty neat actually, think they'll stay here.

[june16th2018]

ninjago characters i dislike/hate and why

☆ s2-7 lloyd

HIS GODDAMN FACE DUDE

i just physically CAN'T with his weird ass smile and his ugly haircut, it makes him so detestable (and looks like donald trump tbh)

also idk i get the fact that he's the main character and all but the way each season somehow managed to always revolve around him was pretty annoying, especially for 7 years old me whose favorite character was jay (bless season 6)

plus his vOICE?? like i know they kept his childish voice bc of the fact that his body grew faster in that one dinosaur episode but it was still unbearable

i like his new design tho! and i think his character is much more enjoyable in the most recent seasons!!

☆ s6 nya

okay i know i'm making myself lots of enemies with this one but i just can't help it

tbh i think the whole "nya is part of the team although she's a girl" was so SO great and much needed because she, indeed, isn't just "the girl ninja" and appeared to be very useful since the beginning of the show!!

however, it felt soooo forced at some point, like when she refuses to simply grabs jay's hand?? girl just take his goddamn hand it won't kill you and it doesn't mean your his gf

i know it was kind of on purpose but it just projects a ridiculous image of modern feminism, as if "feminists were too dumb and too much of dramaqueens to the point it puts ppl who just wanted to help in delicate situations" like..

☆ nice garmadon

his evil/oni ver is everything to me, but why does becoming nice prevents you from being hilarious like you used to be..

his outfit ate tho

☆ sora, arin and kai 2.0

okay first of all i'm not a huge fan of dr, but i keep watching since i crave ninjas content and i need to see pixal's comeback

those three are SO annoying i sigh everytime they get screen time, especially sora bc istg if they chose to not bring pixal back because of the fact that this b!tch is basically doing her job (less effectively ofc 😒) imma throw hands.

(this was me having beef with a lego fictional teenage girl btw)

☆ misako

i think the whole fandom gon agree with me but she is a shitty mother

wdym you left your baby???????? garmadon did too tbh but it wasn't really his fault so like.. it's ok i guess 😒 but misako? no excuse at all. if you wanted to do your stupid research you could've taken lloyd with you or at least visited him from time to time.

theres probably more but idk 🌺

bye? 🤨

[bitchin-tubs]

Complain time again tee hee but I’m just like UGHHHH talking genuinely to these ppl is SO hardddddd

With girl A, I spent almost a whole class lecture (friendly) debating with this one girl on why people medically diagnosed as psychopaths and sociopaths are not inherently dangerous, are not narcissistic by default and how ‘masking’ is not a form a manipulation. Her source for all of these… You. The Netflix show…

With girl B, I feel like she’s sooooo,,,, dismissive ?? Idk like I tried to introduce her to my friends once and she genuinely did not gaf. Like I said hi B this is C then she says hi to me and me only. Like my girl C is right here. But at the same time she’s always bringing me into her friend groups which is fine but I dont connect easily so most times I’m kinda just there SPECIALLY if it’s an all men group when I have specially told her I tend to be uncomfortable with men for “no” reason

I was having a conversation with girl A and the topic of autism was brought up, I told her that I think I may be low on the spectrum but there are some things I tend to relate to with autism behaviors, and considering opened up to me about her anxiety and how she had previously talked very openly abt diagnosis I thought maybe she’d get it. I know,,, self diagnosis (u are free to feel any type of way abt it) but idk I thought she’d have any type of nuanced comment about it but I should’ve known from the psychopath talk… I had told her that I find meeting new people very hard, I have difficulty talking to said people and I tend to be very restrictive about who I make a meaningful connection to. She said that my personality is and I quote “mamona” (jerk/snob/asshole ish) and completely dismissed my masking, overstimulation, 10 year old special interest, taking shit to literal and not understanding social cues or instructions as “just being different” yeah so I thought… yknow I might not have autism valid but idk I felt so ignored at that moment

Also don’t think I just unpack shit on her unannounced, we talk and convos play out as they usually do and since the topic was out I was like sometimes I wonder if I have it because of so and so plus she was unwinded with me before so it wasn’t impossible for us to talk abt personal stuff, even though we not so tight we are still close

Another thing I’m very bad at making friends, I think I mirror good enough to have nice interactions with people but not to the point they invite me to shit or talk to me outside of classes. Back when I was in my exchange program I was sharing a room with 3 swifties so I had to pretend to like Taylor swift so I wouldn’t feel singled out, I also watched the summer I turned pretty and witnessed these girls thirst over bad boy #2 when I thought the character was so shitty (the actor is good looking but I’m not attracted to him) and also would also unknowingly spend all-nighters on school nights (as in I didn’t know they were meant to be all-nighters) with them watching a movie I didn’t particularly like and see everyone thirsting over annoying man on screen (one of them was some straight outta wattpad step-sibling story ew, the other pride and prejudice IM SORRY YALL I DIDNT GET THE HYPE 😭 call me uncultured it’s okay

A and B are sólo also hardcore swifties and I can only be neutral abt her otherwise they get on my ass about it and saying I like Taylor swift or her music is too big of a lie even for me

I told girl A about this (or at least a bit) and she said that I should’ve just been me. Girl I can’t be me we were both witnessing a girl being actively bullied (tv show ass bullying they printed a picture of her and drew over it ugly, taped it to her dorm room. Still hurtful and bullying tho) I’m NOT about to ostracize myself

HOWEVERRR these are not my main friends, these are like the friends I made to not be lonely in these extra classes for an American 🦅🦅🦅 diploma. My close CLOSE friends are from my same career classes and they are so much more understanding and can interact more naturally with. So in my day to day I got good genuine friends by my side

I recognize that I can be perceiving these memories differently than how they actually happened, misinterpret their actions and just be in my feeling right now but idk I feel like I’m so difficult and constantly just have to comply with people in order to make others comfortable

[angellayercake]

My Writing

(Mostly NSFW, MDNI, see AO3 for tags)

Cardinal Copia x Reader 

But first, let me send a selfie!

AO3 | Tumblr

Copia reacts to receiving a selfie from his favourite Sister of Sin while away on tour.

Si Padrona

A03 |  Tumblr

There are only four things you need to know about this. Copia, femdom, ass worship and pegging. Basically PWP. 

Worship

AO3 | Tumblr

‘Amore?’ You drop your gaze from where it was fixed on the headboard to look at him attempting to squash down your discomfort. His hands were resting on your hips, thumbs gently caressing your hip bones, something that would usually be stoking the desire inside you but for now it just makes you more tense. You are holding yourself above him on your hands and knees not wanting to rest too much of your weight on top of him in your current position. You meet his intense mismatched eyes and almost lose yourself to the burning lust you see there but your insecurities rear their ugly head once again. 

Give Me Your Best Copper Kiss 

AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

(Please check the tags on AO3 if you aren’t sure about darker themes. No one comes out of this story looking particularly good. You have been warned!)

You have spent your whole adult life at the Abbey thinking that the Church of Satan would allow you to fulfil your life calling but so far you had been disappointed. The arrival of a new Cardinal at the Abbey renews your passion for your faith and you hope he will bring the change you have been craving. And that you will be the one to help him. 

Papa Emeritus III x Reader

Pomegranate Noir

AO3 | Tumblr

Papa Emeritus III knows the perfect way to unwind after a stressful day. Will you be willing to assist?

Pastimes for a Retired Papa

AO3 (Series)

Now with fantastic art commissioned from meowsaidmissy here!

Pastimes for a Retired Papa

AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

So in my mind the Papas were not murdered, they all just moved away from the main base of the Ministry to enjoy their retirement. Primo is definitely in the place that has the best gardens tending to his beloved plants. Secondo moved to a bustling city where he could party to his heart’s content.

But what of Terzo? Our darling Papa III, so dedicated to the proliferation of the female orgasm. Where would he choose to spend his retirement?

You, a stressed and overworked woman who has just been recommended the services of The Ministry’s Spa Resort, may be about to find out.

The One With The New Years Party

AO3 | Tumblr

 You and Terzo have been dating since your first proper date at The Ministry. When your work organises a New Years Eve party to thank you all for your hard work there is only one person you want to take as your plus one.

Sam and the Series of Disastrous Dates

AO3 | Tumblr 

Sam has watched her new best friend fall in love with the man of her dreams but when will it be her turn? For OCkissweek23 we will follow Sam on some of her dating adventures and see if she will ever meet her dream man.

Sister Imperator x Reader

Last Bow 

AO3 | Tumblr

Sister Imperator will do anything the Clergy asks of her to get ahead, no matter who gets hurt in the process.

(updated 26/02/23)

[theoddcatlady]

Organ Donor

I just wanted to go to college. That’s not too far out there right?

I’m not going to give you the whole rundown of why I had to resort to what I did. All you need to know is that I didn’t want to end up in debt for the next thirty plus years and I needed to get out of my parent’s house as soon as possible.  

I looked up a bunch of ways to make cash quickly. I didn’t want to hurt anyone else to do it, of course. I’m not a psycho. But it took a little less digging and a little more dumb luck. This was about three years ago. I was applying for jobs at a coffee shop when I saw a black van pull out in front of the place.  

Three girls exited the van, I barely recognized one of them as a former classmate named Kayla, she was so pale and unsteady on her feet. But she was beaming. She strode inside and she ordered something up front, but I couldn’t hear exactly what she said.

I was more distracted by the row of black stitches going up her side.  

She was wearing a crop top so they were out in plain sight. I wasn’t able to stop staring. She didn’t seem like she was in pain, but I had no idea how.  

I guess it was on me that she noticed me staring, but she was hardly bothered. She just smiled, grabbed her cup of tea, and headed right for my table. She took her seat and gestured to the scar.

“Hey, it’s ugly, but it’s ten thousand in the bank.”  

I sputtered for a moment but the dollar signs had already flashed in front of my eyes. “What did you do?” I asked, my curiosity peaked.

Kayla sipped her tea slowly. “Mmm, donated a kidney. I could’ve made a lot more from something a teenee bit more vital, but it’ll help put the down payment on a new car!” She said in a manner so casual she could’ve been talking about the weather.

I nearly laughed because I thought she was joking. But then I glanced at those stitches again. “… Are you kidding me?”  

“What, like you haven’t heard of it?” Kayla laughed. “I think most of our classmates have donated something. There’s not exactly much to do for cash in this dying town, and we all need to get out before we drown with it.”

Ten thousand dollars. That would be amazing. “… How do you do it?”

Kayla winked before she took a card out of her pocket. “I thought you might ask. Here, if I invite someone to donate, I basically get commission. Go to the address on the card. Next week, ten PM. Be there on time or you’ll miss your chance.” With that, she threw away her tea and walked out of there.

It’s stupid how easily I went along with it. But I mean, God gives you two kidneys, you don’t really need both. And ten thousand freaking dollars. I’d have to work my ass off for so long to get anywhere close to that, and that wasn’t even considering how odds are my dad would steal my savings again if I left it be long enough.

So I was there, right on time, at the Red Corner bar with a few other people around my age. Kayla was there, it was clear she’d recruited at least three people to come with her if you include me. The rest had clearly done this before, they were showing off their various scars and talking about how much of a cake walk it was. Just go to sleep and wake up with a wad of cash.

The black van pulled up in front of the bar and the window rolled down to reveal a middle aged woman with silver strands in her otherwise black hair. Her white coat was neatly pressed and she was wearing a pink scrub shirt underneath. She just looked like your average doctor you’d go to for a well check.

“All right, it’ll be a busy night if all seven of you are going, so let’s not waste any time. You all ready? Don’t feel bad if you have to back out, there’s no shame in it.”

I glanced around to see if anyone looked hesitant. The other two newbies did look scared, but the confidence was just oozing off of the people who’d done this before. I wondered what else they could donate since they’d already likely parted with an organ. At the time, I assumed blood or maybe skin.  

“Well, all right. Hop on in, I have water ready but snacks will wait until the operation is over.”  

We all clambered into the van, which had no seats so we all just had to sit on the floor. The woman handed us all water bottles. “For all you first timers, I’m Dr. Harris. I’ll likely be operating on one or two of you tonight, my associates will handle the rest. It’s all right to be a little nervous, but I promise there’s no risk in this,” She said before she pulled into the street and began driving us someplace else.

I cleared my throat after taking a long drink. “Isn’t there always some risk with donating an organ?” I asked.

Dr. Harris laughed and glanced back at me. “Not the way I do it. You’ll wake up tomorrow morning feeling like nothing is wrong, you’ll immediately be able to go back to your daily activities. Kayla, dear, the forms are tucked in the box back there. Hand those out so we know what we’ll be taking tonight,” She said.  

Kayla popped up two thumbs before she started digging through a cardboard box and threw papers at all of us, along with a couple pens. It was a pain in the ass to read the whole thing, since the van was dark and I’d only get the occasional glimpse of light from passing street lamps. Still, I got just enough to be able to check off my ‘l. kidney’ on the list of organs I wanted to donate.  

I expected to be taken to some shady warehouse full of sinister people armed with scalpels. Instead, the van pulled up to a rather comfortable looking home in your average suburbia. Dr. Harris escorted us to the backyard, where we entered a walk in basement that had been transformed into an operating theater. Everyone else down there looked just as professional as Dr. Harris, surgeons slipping on masks and gloves or washing their hands.

“All right, let’s get the newbies out of the way first.” Dr. Harris rested her hand on my shoulder. “I think I’ll be operating on you. Come on, let’s get you ready.”

I was let into a side bathroom where I dressed into a surgical gown. I’d never been operated on before then, I didn’t know what to expect.

I did get an inkling something wasn’t quite normal when I was sat down on the table and given a red liquid to drink by a man I assume was like a nurse. It had no taste, I might as well have been drinking air. I laid down on the table as I was hooked up to all the machines and a mask was placed on my face.  

Strangely I felt no fear as I was told to count backwards from ten. I didn’t even make it to six before I was out for the count.  

Since I’m writing this, I’m sure you guessed I woke up the next morning. Along with all the other operatees, we’d been put in a guest bedroom on the main floor. Nothing felt out of place, I felt no pain. I removed my gown to check out if I’d even really been operated on.  

But there was that line of stitches up my side, and although I felt fine, I scared myself half to death when I looked in the mirror and saw how pale I was.

Dr. Harris treated us to breakfast, casually asking how we felt and if we liked blueberries in our pancakes as she shoveled bacon and eggs onto our plates. She was an amazing cook. After we had our fill, we got taken back to the cafe and told if we ever wanted to donate again to be at the Red Corner at the same time and day of the week.

And that was that… or it was going to be anyway.

Luckily for me Dr. Harris was more than understanding and put the money on a gift card so my parents couldn’t once again get into my bank account and empty it out. A few days passed before I bumped into Kayla once more at the coffee shop. She ordered me something and we got to talking. We’d not really been friends in highschool but after our little organ donor experience we’d had gotten a bit of a connection. And she is a really nice person, a bit bubbly and superficial but nice.  

We got around to talking about the donation and I asked what she’d donated.

“Oh, a kidney.”  

I frowned. “I meant this time, not the first time,” I said.

Kayla laughed and her casual smile sent chills down my spine. “I donated my left kidney the first time, and I donated my right kidney last time,” She said, sounding oh so proud of herself.

I suddenly felt cold. Like I said, it’d already been a few days since we donated. She looked fine, her skin even got a little color back into it, but both kidneys gone?  

“You’re full of shit. You can’t live without your kidneys,” my chest went tight and I found myself reaching for my cellphone, “You need a hospital-”

A blur of motion and Kayla had grabbed my wrist, squeezing it so tight that I thought she was about to break it. Her sunshiney expression had been immediately exchanged for something hostile. “Don’t be stupid,” She said in a low voice, glaring and giving my wrist another squeeze before letting go and going back to being that happy go lucky Kayla. “I promise. I’m fine. Dr. Harris is an amazing doctor, after all.”  

I felt sick as I rubbed my sore wrist.  

That night I went to Dr. Harris’ house. She hadn’t exactly hidden her street or address from us, no bags over our heads or blindfolds as she drove us there, but she wasn’t surprised in the least to see me at her front door. Before I could say anything she just gestured me inside.  

There she fixed me a cup of tea and let me sit on her couch while she told me her story.

“You know, I was once a real doctor. One of the finest surgeons in the country,” She sighed as she enjoyed her own cup of tea. “I knew if a patient was on my table, they’d make it out. I wouldn’t let them die. My fellow doctors put that up to the typical surgeon ego. We are not exactly known for being humble, but why be humble when we’re honest? And it wasn’t my pride speaking either. I just knew no one would die on my table if I was the one holding the scalpel.”  

I turned my cup around and around in my hands. “You took both of Kayla’s kidneys,” I finally said. “She’s a dead woman walking.”

Dr. Harris slammed her cup down on the side table, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. “She is not going to die!” She took a deep breath calm herself before she glanced at her cup, which had massive cracks going up both sides. “… Damn, I really need to control my temper. It’s my temper that’s really always gotten me into trouble you know.”  

She pulled her chair closer. “It was about eight years ago when I had a patient that seemed just as determined to die as I was to save her life. A fifteen year old girl who’d been in a car accident, her body mangled and full of more glass than blood. Even when the surgery was over, my fellow doctors told me there was no guarantee she’d live. But damn it, I wasn’t going to let my patient die!” Her voice shook and a tear went down her cheek. “She was just a child. So I went with an… unorthodox method. And I saved that girl’s life.”  

“What did you do?” I asked.

Dr. Harris sighed. “I will not share all the details. Just know that it was, in the eyes of the hospital board, an act of malpractice and had nothing to do with her miraculous recovery. I lost my medical license, I was blacklisted from all hospitals in the country. I was called everything from a lunatic to a satanic sociopath. But Satan had and still has nothing to do with my work. How I managed to get the human body to work without the pieces inside is all me. With more practice on small animals, I found that it works out much better if the person whose parts are replaced is in relative good health, so I figured out my new path. Take organs from the healthy, give them to the not so fortunate, those who likely wouldn’t survive my new operative technique. I’m saving lives, and I’ll never let one be taken.”

I swallowed. This sounded like the words of a crazy person, but she sounded so devoted to it, so sure of herself, I found myself believing her.

So my next question is one maybe you’ve already guessed.

“How many organs can you take?”  

Dr. Harris’ smile was filled with glee.

“Any one you’re willing to give.”

My other kidney was next, which was foolish but I wanted to know for sure that I wouldn’t die. I waited four months to prove Dr. Harris’ words- that no matter what she took from me, I wouldn’t die.

I did both of my lungs in one go, and although I find myself short of breath more often than before, I have no real problem with it. My pancreas was next, followed by all my intestines. I have less of an appetite, but that’s not a problem. I can save money on the food bill. I did cry when I woke up after my cornea donation and found I could still see, although I can no longer shed tears and my eyes do look a bit strange if you stare at them for too long, how glassy and fake they look and how black the veins are.  

The final operation was the only one I think Dr. Harris was truly hesitant about. No one had actually checked that box before. I had enough money to begin my life, but I wanted to be comfortable for years to come.  

So I went under that knife and let Dr. Harris take the last thing I could give.  

There’s a strange emptiness inside of me now. I don’t cry, I don’t mourn, my exes all call me stonehearted. I’m not hurt by that.

But there’s an odd peace to not really caring at all.  

And in this new apartment, in this new life… I’m finally free.

It only cost me my heart.  

[loveleelyric]

Upload Temptation

I stood at the breakfast bar in the mediocre apartment I called home, mulling over a tasteless bowl of synthetic wheat squares. My husband, John stood before a clumsily placed full body mirror in the centre of our tiny living room, brushing his hands endlessly over a white shirt buttoned around his torso. He was so handsome in his little suit, though it didn’t much match his style or personality, but the charm of his dark curls and soft face entranced me. He kissed me as he left for work, unlocking a smile the morning had forced me to forget I was capable of. 

His job was boring, he might have the opportunity to sit in a chair all day, the chance to fuck about on those silly smartphone games whenever there was lull in workflow but there’s nothing quite as fun as skulking about the city, getting to sink your teeth into other peoples private affairs. The whole reason I became a private investigator was solely to pry into the secrets of neighbours.

I finished my food and moved over to the sofa, throwing my weight into the firm cushions, my tits bounced with sudden shift in a way too subtle for the large size, their firmness filled with my a certain confidence in my plump body. 

My phone was abuzz with jobs, mostly cheating partners and local thieves, nothing that struck my interested but one message labeled “Memory Chip Implant Investigation” caught my eye. Memory Chips contained the traits of an individual and could be used to have a peak into their memories with the right training, luckily I had that training and getting to delve into someones brain was always a fun way to ear a little money, plus, the location was deeper in the city which likely meant the client could afford to have a little more money squeezed out of their wallet. 

I accepted the job and set about getting dressed into my usual work attire, Lacey black underwear that perfectly rounded my ass, a matching bra to make me feel powerful, bell bottom jeans, a button up white shirt that had seen better days and heavy duty dust jacket to keep to smog of the city off my clothes. I made sure the mechanical socket on the side of my neck was clean, ready for insertion and set off to the innards of the city. 

The metro service was slow and hot, summer sun forced sweat from my neck and chest, I regretted for a moment wearing a white shirt and black bra, but the warmth made it hard to care for the wondering eyes of perverts on public transport, my stop would come soon enough and their eyes could wonder to someone new. 

My attention snapped the sudden chime coming from my phone. A text from my husband.

“Hey honey, pick a job today?” How sweet he was, always checking up on me, he never pushed me into taking jobs and was always supportive if I needed a day.

“Yeah, on the way to inner city, should be a quick one though.” I text back, I would have asked him how his day was going if I didn’t already know the answer was ‘slow’.

“Whoohoo, dinners on you tonight then? I should be home from work early too, not much admin to do today…” At least they weren’t keeping him at work for the vanity of having a full office.

“See you later.” It was looking to a better day than most, an early finish for John, a quick well paying job for me, the smirk on my face was noticed by some creep sat across from me, clearly misunderstanding it for interest. 

He stood unbalanced, skinny and scruffy but I was saved with the arrival of my metro stop, slipping into the hoards of late day workers and towards the colossal towers where the one percent hoarded their wealth. The apartment was easy to find, located in one of the smaller skyscrapers, still, the journey in the lift took almost as long as the metro ride.

The clients door slid open as I approached it, revealing a round man with barrelled chest and hands so large they could crush water melons, his face was brutishly ugly and his smile, though I’m sure he though it was pleasant did little to settle my nerves.

“I’m Serena, the private investigator you requested, may I come in?” I stated firmly, flashing my ID.

“Of course.” He looked down the hallway with paranoid eyes leaving just enough space for me to squeeze past his frame.

The house was large, luxurious, the sort of thing you would see on front of a home decor magazine and impossibly clean. A white sofa, larger than the floorpan of my apparent took up most of the bright living room. I felt wrong sitting on it, stunned by its potential cost. 

“It’s import from Europe, get yourself comfy.” The man said as he took a seat across from me.

“It looks expensive.”

“Don’t worry, it’s easily replaced, let’s get down to business, eh?” He reached onto an ornate coffee table, grabbing a metal container no bigger than a matchbox, inside was the memory chip. He held it between his two meeting fingers, like a fancy holding a pebble.

I grabbed it, turning it over in my hands. It was impressively high quality, the sort of chip that could fit feelings, pain and emotions as well as memories. 

“What am I looking for?” I asked as exiting nerves ran up my stomach. 

“My wife, I think she’s cheating on me, I had this thing installed in her without much of her knowledge and now I want to see if she was.” It’s always cheating with these people. He looked away unable to meet my eye.

“It’ll take me a few moments, and I’ll be unconscious the whole time, just make sure I don’t bang my head.” I inserted the chip into my neck.

My vision blurred into darkness as consciousness escaped me and a low hum rang in my ears. Then, almost before I could notice the change in my senses I was on a bed. The sheets where soft, much nicer than the ones I shared with my husband, my nose filled with a savoury musk and above me a sealing fan span blowing cool air onto my, no, her chest. I could see that I was not me, I was another woman. I looked to the bottom of the legs that were not mine and past the small perky tits and toned stomach that where now mine to see a muscular man, rhythmically thrust against me. 

His cock stretching my insides, his hands manoeuvred me easily, I felt like an object in his grasp. The feeling of pleasure was so overwhelming, his movements so hypnotising, I hadn’t even notice the other hard cock waving right in form of my eyes. 

Saliva gathered in my mouth as my eyes followed the heavy member in front of my face but before I could act on any urge that ran through the dark corners of my primal brain, the dick inside of my began to tense and pulse, my body responded, legs slammed shut, the orgasm rushed over my body like solar waves across a foreign planet.

I jolted awake from the hazy dream of the memory implant, my pussy still throbbing from the very real orgasm I had felt, my nipples were so hard and sensitive I was sure they were visible but thankfully my bra kept my dignity intact. My client sat in front of me, right where I had left him, likely only seconds ago, eagerly awaiting and staring into my eyes as though he would see the memory through my pupil.

“So?” He said finally.

“She’s cheating all right, more than that but I’ll spare you the pain.” I said through soft but deep breaths, my head rang in pain.

“Ah, I see…” He looked down at his shoes. 

“You’re lucky you didn’t” I said, half joking, but he responded with silence and eyes gathering with tears.

“Payment please, I’ll be on my way.” I held out my hand, standing firm and trying to ignore the waves of pleasure and pain infecting every corner of my body.

He  wordlessly handed me a large sum of notes, more than he had bargained for in the advertisement but I wasn’t about to tell him that, so I left him to his sad thoughts and broken heart.

————

The metro was much emptier on the way home, but it could have been full to brim for all I knew as my mind was firmly on what I had experienced in the memories of another woman. The thought of that thick cock fucking me like I was a meaningless sex toy, my pussy started damped, I could feel it through my underwear. I couldn’t get my mind under control, or my body, my chest radiated sensitive tingles across my torso. It was like my body had been infected with degeneracy.

Sat across from me was the same slim scruffy man who had spotted my smile before. I rolled my eyes, hoping he’s pick up my feelings of disinterest, but I realised that wasn’t true, he was disgusting, unclean and unkept, too skinny to be attractive by any means but the way he looked at me, like I was a piece of meat only made me wetter. I wanted him to ignore me but my body wanted him all the same.

I thought of my husband, I tried to form the image of him getting these urges out of my system but his tiny cock could never fulfil this need. I looked back to the man across from me, unable to avert my gaze, my body started to act on its own. I placed a hand on my knee and stoked it gently, such a subtle thing, subtle enough that I hoped he hadn’t realised my intention behind it. He bit his lip in way that only further my disgust in him, he clearly thought a lot of himself, he looked up and down the mostly empty train cart and quickly slipped into the seat next to me. 

“Sup?” His breath stunk of cheap tobacco.

I turned my head away from him, this was bad idea, should have just gotten off the train.

“You must get a sore back carrying those tits around.” He laughed. Such a meat headed cat call, he was hardly even trying to be clever but my body reacted shamelessly, my chest got heavier, my fingers mindlessly came up to gently touch one of my tits, like I was flattered. 

“Give me a squeeze too.” He didn’t hesitate in grabbing a handful, his hands were large and strong, my tits bulged through his fingers. I moaned. The feeling was intense and rushed through my legs causing them to shake. I could see a wet patch gathering at the crotch of my jeans. 

“Look, the slut likes it.” He laughed again and fumbled at the button in his trousers, I turned my head further, but not before I caught a glimpse of his cock. Veiny and thick, easily as long as my forearm and fore times the size of my husband, the tip leaked with a stream of clear pre-cum. God I wanted it, I wanted it inside of me so bad. 

He stood, waving his dick in front of me, my nipples hardened at the musky smell, I could feel its warmth near my cheeky. My clit had become so swollen and sensitive, so desperate for touch I felt if I had shifted in my seat, I would have came then and there. I closed my eyes, tried to project my mind elsewhere, but his hand grasped my face and he forced my eyes on him.

His cock thrust into my open mouth, the salty taste of his unwashed dick melted my muscles into a completely relaxed state. I started working my tongue into his foreskin rolling my eyes back at the sour taste, all the while he laughed at my sorry state. I dared not look down the train car, I couldn’t bare the thought of people seeing my like this, but my body acted on it’s own, like a primal starvation, I needed satiated. 

I pushed my lips to the base of cock, tears poured from my eyes, the taste made me gag but I forced myself deeper. My cunt ached with jealousy so I reached down into my jeans and started toying with my clit, soaked through and sensitive my whole body tensed at the touch, my throat tightened around his cock. He tangled his fingers into my hair and pulled face mouth away from his dick, now covered in bubbles of my saliva.

“Get your fucking pussy out whore, I’m not wasting this cum in your throat.” The look on his face was evil, I scrambled to take my trousers off. I pressed my face hard against the dirty floor, sticking my wide hips and soft ass into the air, free for use.

I didn’t need to wait long before his filthy dick was jammed into my pussy, the slight burn of my hole stretching sent shivers down my spine. His uncut nails sank into my waist, passion and hate fuelled his hips as he fucked me rough and hard. His cock hardly fit inside me but still he relentless fucked my cunt, forcing it wider with each thrust.

“Fucking slut, want a pussy full of a strangers cum?” He spat on my cheek, the smell of tobacco filled my nose but still, I nodded, I wanted it, I wanted to be full of his disgusting cum. I tightened my pussy to help him along and his pounding gained in speed before his core began to twitch. His cock throbbed as cum emptied from his balls and filled my insides to the brim, spilling out onto the dirty floor below me. I desperately reached down to rub my clit, trying to join him in orgasm, but he pinned my hand to the ground with his boot.

“You’ve got some other people to serve before you’re allowed to cum, stupid fuckhole.” He gestured to countless men around us, I hadn’t seen them or where they had come from,  so lost in the sheer degeneracy my body craved. Maybe they could help fulfil this demonic lust I found overcoming me. 

By the time the metro had looped back round to my stop, my pussy and my asshole had been filled more times that I had been able to count, I still hadn’t had the chance to touch myself. My clothes were torn, my face was bruised and filthy, my ass radiated warm pain and cum poured out of my pussy into the jeans that had finally found their way back on my body. I stumbled home, drunk from cum and sensation.

There he was, my sweet, handsome husband, curled into a ball in the corner of our living room, his phone screen alight with a video of me getting asshole stuffed with two cocks at once. No scene would have broke my heart more but now, I smiled, ready to show him the damage they had done to me, to rub in his face what men could do. What a pathetic person he was. My body still craved more.

[augment-techs]

"Pillow Talk" Skull/Billy

"Quite the catch" Bulk/Jason

"Royal pain in the ass" Jack/Sky

Since it's a three in one, I'm going with a theoretical summary/synopsis cluster. Singles next time, please, it makes this a lot cleaner ^^; Title: reckless ambivalence Rating: M Relationships: Billy Cranston/Eugene Skollovitch; Billy Cranston & Farkas Bulkmeier; Billy Cranston & Matthew Cook & Grace Sterling; Billy Cranston & His Parents; Eugene Skullovitch & Stan Skullovitch; Ranger Ensemble. Additional Tags: Coma; Monster Attack Aftermath; Physical Abuse; Parental Neglect; Scarring; Blood; Sibling Relationship; Pining; Guilt; Hand Holding; mention of the Annual Comic that nobody ever brings up gdi; Zordon Admitting to Being a Dick; 5+1 Things. Summary: Billy keeps getting dreams that don't feel like dreams in the aftermath of getting into a verbal fight with Skull, followed by a monster smashing him so hard into a wall that the punk fell into a coma. They were too detailed and the environment felt too much like that time he and his team walked out of Drakkon's make believe world and out into the very ether of the Morphin Grid. "Why do I have to come back again? What do I have to learn?" The questions shouldn't sting so much after the second time he asks Billy, dressed in a hospital gown and draped in orange light like a sundown. Looking so tired and resigned and eyes all wide and wet. But then, Billy actually thinks about it, looks into all the stuff he's missed out on since falling out of Skull's orbit (abandoning him) and begins to feel like he can't breathe: going through Skull's overly full medicine cabinet, helping the nurses in the hospital bathe the blood and sweat off of the scars decorating his back and arms and legs, talking with Bulk about how thin Skull is because his family is always gone and not a lot of people were willing to hire him for odd jobs. What could Billy answer with that could make Eugene (come back) stay?

Title: sheets of egyptian cotton Rating: M Relationships: Farkas Bulkmeier/Jason Scott; Previous Jason Scott/Tommy Oliver/Kimberly Hart; Billy Cranston/Eugene Skullovitch; Rocky Desantos/Adam Park/Aisha Campbell; Zack Taylor/Trini. Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Underwear Model/Ambulance Driver; Kink Model/Nursing Aid; Eating Disorders; Anxiety; Mention of Physical Abuse; Meet Ugly; Substance Abuse; Frottage; Oral Sex; Cuddling. Summary: Probably the worst way to meet a model that Jason could think of was when some asshole got handsy during the after party and the biggest model on the line gets hit in the head with a champagne bottle trying to get the asshole to get the hell out. Still, Jason could kind of count himself lucky. It wasn't every day that he got to meet a plus sized model without a filter from the pain meds wearing nothing but the silky boxer briefs he had on the runway. Or his skittish friend from the BDSM showcase in the building across the street showing up at the hospital in nothing but a silk see-through kimono and an exceptionally complicated looking ensemble with leather and lace. * Title: dancing on the head of a pin Rating: T Relationships: Jack Landors/Sky Tate; Anubis "Doggie" Cruger/Kat Manx; Z Delgado & Bridge Carson & Syd Drew. Additional Tags: Heartbreak; Emotional Hurt/Comfort; That Last Episode Girlfriend Never Really Sat Right With Me; I Do Like Piggy but We ALL Know He'd Find a Way to Fuck Up; Jack Landors Needs a Hug; Sky Tate Kicks Some Ass; Z Delgado is Coming for Blood. Summary: Here's a level of hell that Jack could not imagine when he quit the SPD and went into business with a new girlfriend and Piggy that the ex-Red Ranger was not expecting: his relationship with Ally ending with her and Piggy hooking up and her cheating on him FOR MONTHS before he found out. One would think he was utterly bullet proof, but even after a whole year of taking on the worst of the worst, fighting an intergalactic menace, almost dying; Jack was as emotionally vulnerable as that kid who grew up on the street with nothing and no one. Somehow, though, Jack didn't mind Sky seeing him so vulnerable.

[pascalepalaces]

"Mr. Know-It-All" in Southchild Magazine, Issue 2 (The Fool: Reversed):

Transcript:

I'm at your engagement party, annoyed that there aren't any Pop-Tarts in your freezer. 

You enter, telling me that the sight’s a déjà-vu; I say that it isn’t déjà-vu, really, because there are no more Pop-Tarts in your freezer.

Engaged men don't eat Pop-Tarts, you correct me, and you glance to the living room where the crowd is still eating their duck liver. I eat duck liver, now, you know.

Well, what’s the point, then?

You shoot that right back at me, asking me what’s my point for being here, beyond my cravings—and whether my cravings were my excuse for missing the last two years of your life, too. I insist that while I wasn’t technically in the room, your speech still sounded adorable from behind this unstocked fridge door, Andre.

You roll your eyes, then your fists. You admit that because I never reached out since the day I got out (hah), I sort of made you feel like I only ever liked you because I was crazy (no offense, dude). 

But, throwing my head back to laugh—and to get a better look at your eyelashes—I tell you that my lunacy was only ever meant for you.

#

I decide to give it to you, the way you used to give it to me. You come to my apartment demanding to know why you’re now a psychic—why, ever since eating your precious duck liver, you have the answer to every question nowadays asked of you.

I didn’t drug you, I rebuke. I simply gave you a drug that contained access to all of the information in the universe.

I have access to the information that I’m gonna kick your ass, Nick, you tell me, after just a moment of licking behind your pretty lip.

Regardless, you need to know what’s going on, and I tell you you’re like a computer now, a search engine: that you can find any data in the world, but first you need to be given the command.

Why would you do it like that?, you reach your beg. It’s like the tone I used in high school, like when I’d plead for you to leave your place, to come back to me tonight, please.

Who was the Zodiac Killer?, I only respond (ironically, I’ve gotten a lot into true crime ever since… you know), and you repeat the answer again and again to yourself because it feels so true, a revelation truer than anything you’ve ever known.

#

Since you’re a nobody, no one is asking you where that missing neighborhood girl could be, and so you’re banging on my door and also my voicemail inbox limit.

Whatever made you hate me, whatever you think I did, please just try to move on, you’re whining. I know, it’s hard, but the stakes are way too high this time for me to wait. You’re the only one who can help me. You’re the only one who will believe me enough to sincerely ask me the question, let alone ask me at all.  

It’s the first time you’ve spoken to me since the weekend of your engagement party, so… since quite a few years ago, now. I do get it, though. I did fuck a whole lot with your brain. Plus, you’re rich now, and everything.

It’s clear why you’re calling me, of course. Yet, surely, you don’t feel guilty enough about Lily Reid to believe that helping this new, strange girl will amend you. I didn’t know this would happen; I didn’t sign up for this. You’re not trying to amend both of us, now, certainly.

I already did my time!

But if you insist, I suppose, as you force your way in past me and my poor little dogs. I suppose that something like this would happen eventually, and I suppose I still do have a few questions for you, after all.

You take in a cute little breath when I say it:

The last time that you were here, Andre—do you remember? My voice is already ugly, staining with all of my resentments, in order. 

Do you remember when you were so amazed that you had discovered this absolute truth? You had to keep sharing it because it was ‘so true’ and so incredible. Remember? 

Did you never feel that when you said to me, ‘I love you’?

Was it not like that? I watch you take a step backward. ‘Cause that’s what it really felt like, for me, so seeing it be such a new experience for you… oh, and you’re divorced, then? That’s a shame.

Why did you get married? Why were you with me, at all? Did you just like that I depended on your validation, then? 

No, no, no, I won’t stop it. I love this. 

You have to confront the truth, now.

Don’t tell me that I’m having another paranoid break, my Mr. Know-It-All. Like that time that you snapped, told me my problems were too much work—you can’t trick me into thinking I might’ve just imagined your abusive words. You can’t make me plead insanity, still, all of these years later. The worries are finally in your head, too, and you’re dependent on somebody else—on me—to give you the real truth. 

Squeal, my little guinea pig, please.

If you want a truth about the girl, well, what about a truth, like—I don’t think I want to know where she is, but see… what have they done to her, I wonder? What are they doing to her right now? 

In detail, what are they doing?

Oh? No? What’s that? You want to leave? You want to go? You don’t want to be interrogated by me, anymore? 

Then go confess.

[jonesy-and-max]

part 14: Jones vs. Jones

Jonesy rounded the corner and stopped, pressing herself against the cool brick of the theater. She breathed hard and heavy, wiping the tears from her eyes once again with the back of her fists. She breathed out, growling on the verge of ugly crying, but steeled herself and found the strength to hold it together. A few steps away were three payphones lined up against the wall. She dug aggressively into her jean pockets, finding a quarter, an old ticket stub, and a receipt, folded thoughtfully into a square. She dropped the coin into the slot and dialed home. The phone rang. And rang. And rang. She sighed, growling and rolling her eyes. Of course, no one was answering. She knew Connie would be passed out on the couch by now and Ray was probably in the garage playing around with his computers. The only one who might pick up the phone was the absolute last person she wanted to talk to at this moment. Jonesy took in some new air to extend her already lengthy growl and clenched her whole body when there was a sudden interruption in the ringing.

“Hello?” A sleepy, slightly disoriented voice asked from the other side.

Jonesy unclenched, her eyes lighting up in utter surprise, “Mom??”

“Twizzler? Is that you, honey?” Connie asked, like a medium reaching out to the spirit world.

“Mom! Mom, could you pick me up? Please? I’m at Dreamland Theater.”

“Theater? What the heck are you doing there, sweetie?” There was a pause of contemplation, “Didn’t I just see you?”

“No, Mom, that was probably…Gina? Maybe? I saw you when I left for work this morning, remember?”

Silence.

“Look, it doesn’t matter. Could you pick me up, please?”

“Can’t Max pick you up, honey?”

“No.” She said a little too curt, she tried to catch herself, “No, ma, he’s busy with something. With Louie.”

“Who’s Louie…?”

Jonesy strangled the phone, then regained her composure, “Mom! Can you pick me up??”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something, to be honest, Twizzler.” Sitting on the couch at home, Connie gestured to literally nothing, in performance for literally no one, “Can’t you ask your father?”

Jonesy pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut in frustration, “Can you ask him, I’m here at the theater. You are at home, likely, where you can find my father.”

Connie thought about this for a moment. She would have to get up to go pick up her eldest daughter, but she would also have to get up to find Ray. Plus she might even have to have a conversation of some kind with her husband. None of these options were ideal. Though, one option would give her an opportunity to spend some quality time with one of her children. She nailed it earlier with Gina. Could she go two for two, tonight?

“You know what, honeybug? I’ll be there. Just let me put some undies on and I can be there in two shakes!”

Jonesy punched the air with ironic enthusiasm, “Awesome. Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it. I’ll be waiting by the stop sign.”

Connie smooched Jonesy over the phone, promising to be there soon.

Jonesy hung up the phone. She took her hat off, held it between her teeth, and ran her fingers through her hair before letting out a deep sigh. She replaced it and began walking towards the stop sign. Once there she sat on the curb, leaning back with her arms behind her and looked at the cold night’s sky. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the stub and the receipt. It was back in August when her and Max had gone to see Escape from L.A. She smiled, remembering how Max had worn an eye patch for the whole week leading up to the movie. He thought it made him look bad ass. She thought he just looked like he had pink eye. She chuckled to herself for a second before her mind assaulted her with the image of Max and her sister slurping on each other’s faces. Repulsed, she pushed it away as fast as possible, crumpling the ticket and throwing it into the street.

She feigned barfing and shuddered in revulsion. She could feel her ears getting hot, her anger beginning to slowly swell inside her chest. Before she let her feelings get the better of her she unfolded the receipt. She knew exactly what it was, Jamie Reynold’s return receipt from earlier that day. She had pocketed it to remember that amazing moment they had shared together. When they got married someday, she was going to add it to the collage of their future mementos and keepsakes. She smiled, the anger subsiding, replaced with the butterflies that danced and spun and puked all over the place in adoration of Jamie Reynolds.

Jamie fucking Reynolds. That gorgeous, perfect, adorable, shiny, sparkling, life-giving, ethereal, Goddess, actually wanted to spend time with me. Me, of all people, Jonesy thought. 

At this point it seemed like just about anything could happen today. Impossibilities were afoot in Lake’s End, and it seemed as though Jonesy’s life had somehow become its focus.

And I’m absolutely gonna take advantage of this weird-ass day! Jonesy found her resolve and decided to lean into the madness, maybe even get a little piece for herself. If Max can get some (shudder puke vomit barf die die die) action today, why not me? Jonesy jumped to her feet.

“Why not me, Universe??” Jonesy shouted into the night’s sky, daring the Powers That Be to stand in her way, “The impossible already happened! Jamie fucking Reynolds asked me out!” She stomped her foot and jabbed a finger at the stars, “And by God, if I have anything to say about it, if I have any power inside of me, I swear to you, I will not go quietly un-fingered into this good night!! Nor any other night, again!!”

Beep! Beep!

“Good for you, sweetie! Here, here!” Connie leaned out the window of the car, a few feet from the stop sign.

The drive back home was quiet.

“Is something going on, Twizzlebug? Your aura is all cloudy blue and gray.” Connie took a beat and leaned over, “And I notice you smell like a dive-bar bathroom.”

It could have been quieter, in Jonesy’s opinion.

“I don’t know what half of that means, Mom.” Jonesy avoided eye contact and stared out the window of the station wagon. Her ears were still bright red and hot from her mom’s…support.

“Pshaw!” Connie swiped at her daughter playfully.

Jonesy pressed herself against the door, avoiding any physical contact. 

“You can talk to me, sweetie. I’ve always been an empath, you know. Do you know what that is?”

“Like Counselor Troi?” Jonesy raised a droll eyebrow.

“Hm…” Connie thought. She’d never heard of Counselor Troy. Maybe he was a guidance counselor at school, “Maybe! Is he particularly in tune with people’s emotions? Is that why he became a guidance counselor?”

“He? Guidance counselor? Yeah, sure, Mom.” Does she think I’m still in high school? If Jonesy could open this door and dive headfirst into traffic right now, she would’ve. “Well, your emotions are just flying off of you right now. Just like your sister.” Connie wagged a finger at her eldest daughter, “She came positively running to me for advice. Just a mess! Poor thing!” Connie shook her head, placing a sympathetic hand on her chest. “Poor baby was crying over some boy. It must’ve been pretty serious, I’ve never seen her in such a state!”

Jonesy pulled her hat over her face, “Mah-OoOom! Please! I don’t want to hear about this!” She snapped at her, “I couldn’t give less of a fuck about Gina and some stupid, probably ugly, sub-human, CHUD she wants to get gross with!” She felt like shit again. She didn’t mean any of that, about Max, at least. He wasn’t a CHUD or sub-human. Even though he loved both of those things. And she shouldn’t have sworn at her mom like that.

Jonesy crossed her arms and aggressively stared out the window. She peeked at her mom from the very side of her eye. Connie wasn’t angry, but you could tell she was hurt, and surprised by her daughter’s reaction. The station wagon pulled into the driveway and Connie put the car in park, turning off the engine. She turned towards her daughter and took her hand gently. Jonesy acquiesced and lowered her defenses.

“Bug, I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t know where all this hostility between the two of you comes from, but it breaks my heart to see,” Connie maybe wasn’t the best mom on the planet. The most attentive or the most involved, but she loved her girls with all of her heart, “I just hope the two of you can work out whatever it is that’s keeping you from being close. The Jones’ tend to be very…solitary folk. In the end, all you’ll have someday might be each other.”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Jonesy took her hand back, her defenses rising once again, “I…have Max.”

Jonesy exited the car and waited for her mom to follow suit. Once inside, Jonesy rushed inside, not giving her mom a chance to start talking again. She had all she could take from her for today. She didn’t want to be mean to her mom, it was better for both of them if she just got the hell out of there as soon as possible.

Well, one out of two isn’t the worst. Can’t win ‘em all I suppose, Connie consoled herself. She might not have won the day, but there was always tomorrow. I think I earned a little treat!

Jonesy kicked her shoes off down the stairs to her room, followed by her jacket, and bolted upstairs to take her, desperately needed, shower. Her jeans were still damp and parts of her hair were flaky with dried, cheesy puke in various, hidden places. An ample funk surrounded her of cheap beer and sweat. The pink mask of spicy agony lingered, taking on a greasy shine, but at least the puffiness had rescinded. Suffice it to say, a shower would bring her back from the dead faster than a George Romero flick. At the top of the stairs it was only a few more feet to the bathroom, and directly across the hall was Jonesy’s old, childhood room that now belonged to her younger sister. 

Jonesy turned, locking eyes with Gina.

Jonesy’s eyes narrowed, “You’re dead, dude!!”

Gina’s eyes went wide, “Oh shit!”

Gina ran as fast as she could to close her bedroom door, but she was too late. Jonesy roared and tackled Gina backwards onto the bed. They bounced off and fell to the floor entangled in flying fists and kicking feet.

The hard WHUMP of the sisters falling to the floor alerted their father’s attention, who was pouring himself a glass of skim milk in the kitchen. He raised a mildly concerned eyebrow, before Connie put him at ease.

“They’re just working some stuff out, Boo Boo Bear.”

Ray picked up a couple Hydrox to pair with his milk and returned to the safety of the garage.

The girls screamed in each others’ faces as they each clutched to a fistful of the other’s hair. Jonesy kneed Gina in the stomach causing her to release the clump of sticky red hair from her hand.

Gina clutched her stomach and kicked wildly, hoping to get some distance from her enraged sister, “Why is your hair so gross??” She wiped her hand on the carpet.

“Because standing up for you got my shit wrecked, asshole! Remember?!” Jonesy scrambled to her feet and prepared herself for another assault.

Gina did the same and got on the defensive, scanning the room for any kind of shield, finally scooping up a pillow from her bed, “I didn’t ask you to do that. That was your own fault, you psycho!”

Gina did not have the reflexes to block the slap that greeted her right cheek. Her ears rang and her vision blurred. She stumbled and caught herself on her vanity. She placed her hand on her face, her cheek was hot and tender to the touch. Gina was stunned. As much as the two of them had traded insults and tormented each other, rarely had they ever come to physical blows, and never the face. The face was serious. The face meant war.

Gina screamed and tackled her older sister against the wall, finding another good hold on her hair, pulling it with serious intent this time. Jonesy growled and yelped, desperately trying to pry Gina’s fingers loose, but left herself vulnerable to attack, Gina sunk her teeth into her sister’s arm. Jonesy screamed and stomped on Gina’s foot, separating the two of them. Gina opened her hand, revealing a small bundle of greasy, fiery, red hair. She smirked spitefully and blew it at her sister’s face.

Jonesy snarled, “You’re such a bitch!” and shoved Gina to the floor.

She scrambled, her eyes darting around, finding her sneaker and throwing it, the rubber sole finding direct contact with Jonesy’s forehead.

“OW!!” Jonesy clutched her head and scooped the shoe off of the floor, diving, and pinning her sister to the carpet. She followed with a flurry of shoe attacks, as Gina wriggled and desperately tried to defend herself from the blows.

“I can’t believe you’re such an awful fucking bitch that you would do this to Max!” Jonesy shouted between shoe smacks, “You’re so obsessed with making me feel like shit that you’d go this far. I never thought you’d be so fucking cruel that you’d do something like this!”

Gina struggled and blocked as many hits as she could, “I’m not fucking around and I’m not trying to hurt anyone, I just fucking like him, okay??” Gina shouted desperately, “I don’t know how to convince you!!” 

She finally freed herself, kicking at her sister, the two of them brought themselves sitting upright and prepared themselves for the next volley of attacks. They were both sweating, breathing heavy, but the fight was slowly leaving them.

“Why him? Why my Max?? Why not, literally, anyone else??” Tears welled in Jonesy’s eyes.

“I don’t know why! I just do!” Gina slapped the floor and avoided her sister’s eyes, “He’s so stupid and gross, and I’ve seen him eat stuff from the garbage more than once, and he farts when he sneezes, and falls asleep in sunbeams, and he gnaws on the dry wall, and I know all this but…he makes me laugh and he’s fucking…cute.” She sighed, the rest of the anger and wild energy left her body, defeated, “And he’s just, like, fucking nice. And he’s always been nice to me…even when I’m mean to him.”

Jonesy got to her feet, rubbing the raw spot on her scalp where Gina had taken her piece, “Just stop.”

Gina’s eyes were hard, but glassy with tears. She was being more vulnerable with her sister than maybe she had ever been before, but refused to let her see her cry. She sniffled and seemed to somehow force Jonesy to look her in the eyes as she lifted herself off the floor.

“I really like him, Lindsay.” Her face softened, “I’m…sorry.”

Jonesy scowled, “He’s too fucking good for you.”

She stormed out of the room and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Tears trickled down Gina’s cheeks as she dashed toward her door, slamming it shut in return. She picked up her pillow off the floor and threw herself onto the bed, finally allowing herself to cry, sobbing, alone in her room.

Jonesy could hear the faint sounds of crying across the hall. 

Why are you such a piece of shit, Lindsay? She stared at herself in the mirror. A massive wave of guilt crashed against her mind. With all of her strength, she pushed those feelings down and away. There’s no time for that. I gotta get going. Jamie Reynolds. Jamie Reynolds. Just keep it together, Jones.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, in through the nose, and slowly out through her mouth. She opened her eyes and took stock of herself in the mirror. There were a few tiny drops of blood where her hair was ripped out. It wasn’t too bad, she was sure Jamie wouldn’t notice. A red mark on her forehead from the shoe, but that would fade in a little bit.

Not too bad. I can work with this.

Jonesy tossed her shirt and dirty clothes into a pile on the floor, finally, blessedly free of those cold, damp jeans and underwear. She turned the hot and cold handles until the water was the right temperature and entered into the shower’s cozy, claustrophobic embrace.

Stepping out of the shower, rejuvenated like Dracula emerging from his coffin, Jonesy dried herself off and wrapped herself in a towel. As she left the warm, steamy confines of the bathroom, she found herself standing and staring at the closed door of Gina’s room. There wasn’t any sound coming from inside. No crying, no music. Just silence. She leaned forward, just to be sure, but still, there was nothing. She slowly, hesitantly raised a fist to knock, but caught herself. One more time she went to knock, but still couldn’t find the courage. She clutched the towel to herself and headed down the stairs, forcing herself to pull her eyes from her sister’s door.

She lightly stepped on the carpeted stairs, hoping not to draw any attention from her parents, and quietly opened the basement door. Finally, she was safe. She closed and locked the door behind her, and flicked on the lights as she headed down into her room. Stepping into the sanctuary of her room, Jonesy was able to finally relax. She whipped off her towel and laid on her bed, giving herself a moment to just stop and exist. She closed her eyes and ran her hands against her comforter, it was soft and cool and incredibly inviting. It was at that moment that she realized just how absolutely exhausted she was. Physically, emotionally, she felt like sleep was calling to her, beckoning her to let all of it go and deal with her problems at the dawn of a new day.

“No!” Jonesy forced her eyes open and sat upright. She grabbed the towel and finished drying off her hair, now puke free, shiny, and a healthy red and orange, like a Maple leaf in the full embrace of autumn.

Despite everything that had happened, she was determined to not let it all be for naught. She’d been humiliated, pepper sprayed, betrayed, and to top it all off, she was going to miss the opening of the new Chain-Slaughter. Right now, there was only one thing that could salvage this puke-ass bag of shit-stew of a day and that was getting to be with Jamie fucking Reynolds. Maybe they would have some drinks, maybe they would dance together, maybe Jamie Reynolds would look into her eyes and fall head-over-heels in love with her. Jonesy could feel her heart begin to beat in her chest hard and fast. It would never happen. Not in a million years, but if it was ever going to happen, Jonesy just knew it would happen tonight. This was her chance. The universe had put her through every trial imaginable tonight, but just maybe this was her reward. In her opinion, the universe was throwing her a bone and she was going to be there to grab it with both hands.

She opened her closet and found her only other pair of jeans wrapped in a ball on the floor. Basically a version of her black skinny jeans, but light blue with similar rips in the knees. They were a little tighter than her black pair, which is why she tended not to wear the blue ones all too often. The blue pair had a way of accentuating her love handles, but unfortunately they were the only pair she had left. Otherwise, she was going to go all out tonight. She put on her best bra, best undies, and her favorite pair of socks, black with purple bats and spiders, that she pulled up to her calves. She paired all of that with her white Chucks with the red and blue stripe on the midsole. She found her studded belt with the rooster belt buckle hanging on her bedpost and slipped it through the rings on her jeans. Max called it her “Cock Rock” belt, and knew she only wore it when she needed to feel like a badass. 

Now, the most important part: deciding on a shirt. Should she show off her taste in music? Maybe movies? Or should she try to be classy and go with a solid tee? She dug through her drawers, but nothing inspired. She slid open her closet door and started pushing clothes on her hangers back and forth, searching for something that might bring the whole thing together. That might define her just right in Jamie’s eyes. Jonesy thought for a moment and suddenly considered, should she attempt something, maybe perhaps, dare she say…sexy? She sighed and turned to look at herself in the mirror. What would that even be? Did she even own something sexy? Could a single piece of clothing make her feel that way, be seen that way by Jamie? All she knew was that she, for once in her life, wanted to be desired. She never felt desired, she never felt sexy. It was some nebulous attribute that other people, attractive, hot, people just seemed to have naturally. Was it something she could fake, just for tonight? She just didn’t know how to will it into existence. 

I don’t know why I’m even bothering, Jonesy thought to herself as she looked in the mirror, I’m not hot. I’m not sexy. Why the fuck am I deluding myself. I’m just a stupid piece of shit and no one will ever love me. I don’t deserve to be loved. I’m not good enough. I’m a fucking loser. Jamie Reynolds would probably fucking puke if she knew how much I wanted to kiss her.

Jonesy sat on her bed and could feel herself on the verge of tears. She was spiraling, her anxiety and self-loathing teaming up, as usual, to remind her of her perceived worthlessness. She let out a heavy, growling sigh as a pair of single tears fell down her cheeks. 

NO! Not fucking tonight. Get your shit together, Jones! She wiped the tears from her eyes and collected herself. She wasn’t going to let her face get all red and she wasn’t going to let her own bullshit stand in her way. You had your freak out, okay? You had a big fat self-hating, that should last you a while, right? Now get your ass off the floor and let’s do this fucking thing!

Jonesy went back in the closet and immediately laid eyes on her prize. A green polo with thin white stripes. It was slightly cropped, showing just the barest of midriff. It was bright, clean, green, thanks to her barely ever wearing it. It was perhaps the cleanest piece of clothing she owned, and she had to admit to herself, she looked really good in it. She slapped on some deodorant, and sprayed on a healthy dose of Love’s Baby Soft, to round out the scent profile. She added a tattoo choker and a silver chain with a decorative key attached to it, before beginning work on her make up. She was going to aim for a smokey eye and hope for the best.

She went to work and tried to ignore the critic in her mind who saw every flaw and every weakness. A face full of too many freckles against her desperately pale, Irish skin. Eyebrows that were too thick, the chip in her left front tooth from that time she took a punch from “Endless” Meg Heller, the scar on her chin from the time she fell out of a treehouse, and her ears she was sure were too big for her head. Or maybe her head was too small for her ears? She was convinced the proportions were wrong somewhere.

At least I don’t have fucking braces anymore. I’m definitely cuter without those fucking things, Jonesy cut herself the smallest of slacks. Her entire high school career she was shackled by those godforsaken braces.

She finished her smokey eye and admired her handiwork.

Not bad! Not…great, but not bad! She nodded approvingly and stood to survey her completed look in the mirror. She was as satisfied as she was going to get. She took notice of the time and realized she’d better get a move on. Bounding up the stairs, she headed for the front door, when she suddenly stopped and slapped a hand onto her head. She had forgotten her hat! One more time she bounded up a flight of stairs, the hat laid on the floor in the bathroom. She picked it up and realized quickly that she had also left the two joints of Squirt tucked into the inner rim of her cap. She took them out to inspect them, making sure they hadn’t been damaged.

“I’m so sorry, my precious little babies!” She gave each one a quick kiss of reassurance before replacing them into the safety of their hiding spot. She was about to place her hat back where it belonged, but hesitated. She stood up and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was shaggy and artfully messy. Her bangs were nearly long enough to touch just below her eyebrows. She stood, holding her hat in her hands, she looked down, and back up. She undid the snap and clasped it to the ring on her jeans on her left hip.

Behind her, the soft sound of a doorknob turning and clicking gave Jonesy pause.

“Hey.” A small voice called her attention.

Gina stood in the doorway, her arms crossed, a lit cigarette in between her fingers. She was in her pajamas, white pants with cartoon sushis printed all over them and an oversized Spice Girls t-shirt. She had taken off her makeup at some point in an attempt to freshen herself up and put the day behind her. She was stoic and in control, but her eyes remained bloodshot and red from crying earlier.

Jonesy bit the inside of her bottom lip and pursed her lips tightly.

“Yo.” She responded curtley.

“Where’re you going?”

“Uh…a friend of mine invited me to the Silver Mine.” She answered honestly. There was no point in lying or trying to wiggle around the truth. Who gives a shit what Gina thinks? Jonesy thought to herself.

“Friend? Not…” Gina tried not to look invested.

“No.” Jonesy was getting tired of this and headed towards the stairs.

“I didn’t realize you had other friends who weren’t -” Gina couldn’t help needling her older sister.

Jonesy stopped and turned, cutting her off, “Well, I do. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“What happened with the movie?” Gina took a step forward, out of the doorway.

“I left.”

“You left Max at the movies?” The genuine concern in her voice, pissed Jonesy off.

“Yup.”

“Lindsay…” An almost motherly tone from Gina, really clawed under Jonesy’s skin.

“I gotta go, dude.” She was either going to leave or she was going to deck her sister in the face. Jonesy figured it was best she remove herself from the situation all together. She headed down the stairs, trying not to stomp and disturb any parental units.

“Lindsay, wait!” Gina called after her softly.

Jonesy rolled her eyes and went back up the stairs, “What?”

“I don’t know, I mean…” Gina really didn’t know what she wanted at that moment. She had never felt guilty, or at least this guilty, about anything that had ever gone down between the two of them. Not even that time she tricked Jonesy into eating way too many shrooms at their great gam-gam’s funeral.

Jonesy sighed and softened. Breathing out the anger that was churning in her gut, “Look, Gina, honestly, I’m not even that mad at you,” Jonesy thought for a moment, “Well, not anymore pissed at you than I normally am, really. I’m used to this shit with you. But, Max? He fucked up. So, just give me some space, cool?”

Gina looked down and then back up at her older sister. She nodded and took a drag from her cigarette.

“Cool.”

Jonesy headed down the stairs one final time, before pausing and turning back to her sister.

“I’m sorry I hit you in the face.” Jonesy leaves.

Gina chuckled lightly, “I owe you one.”

Jonesy smiled and exhaled a laugh through her nose. 

She zipped up her black hoodie and grabbed her dad’s keys off the hook by the front door. Jonesy left her house and her sister behind, off to discover just what the universe might have in store for her next.

[avvidstarion]

I saw the Barbie movie yesterday, and while I thought it was very funny at times (mostly bc of the talent of the actors, not necessarily the script) I have some issues with it. Mainly, I think Mattel kissed its own ass too much. Things I noticed and didn’t like (not just about Mattel’s involvement in the storyline, but about the movie as a whole):

- making a joke in the opening of the movie about Barbie solving sexism/inventing feminism— this reads as Mattel being tongue in cheek, wink wink, but also I feel like so much of the movie and the marketing for it was “Barbie is #girl power”. For example, my theater played a commercial before the movie about how Mattel and Barbie inspire girls to dream, and about a charity Mattel is finding to help girls.

-the movie made a joke about how midge was discontinued bc a pregnant doll made people uncomfortable, but only gives midge 30 seconds of screentime across two scenes, both of which were jokes about her. Mattel can’t criticize itself for shelving midge while at the same time not putting her in the movie. They’re saying “isn’t it bad that pregnancy is considered uncomfortable/something not for the public eye? Don’t worry though, you won’t have to look at the pregnant character for long!” Also the scene where Sasha “goes off” on Barbie did not actually address the real issues with Barbie/the Mattel company, and instead threw out a bunch of meaningless (in this context) buzzwords like “fascist”. It felt very “punk rock character written by old man who doesn’t know anything about oppression so the punk character is just going to say a bunch of meaningless statements about fighting the system, or whatever”. Plus sasha learns to love Barbie again, and the power of Barbie heals her and her mom’s relationship

-many of the scenes with the Mattel characters made me roll my eyes. Mattel at the same time tries to portray itself as goofy, endearing, and ultimately harmless, but also references real world issues with the company as if they were a joke (the exec board being all men, the “we even had a female ceo in the 90s” joke, etc) while at the same time not doing anything to actually address the issues of the company (ie, sweatshops, actually doing something about the gender imbalance in the company, etc). The fact that all of the human characters worked for Mattel (besides sasha, whose mother is a Mattel employee) was also strange. Also making the creator of Barbie a quasi-mythological figure who is the solution to everything was weird and very self-important

-why were all the Barbies so feminine?? There are so many different ways to have a relationship to femininity, and none of the Barbies reflect that except for perhaps “weird Barbie”, who still wore bright colors and things like that. The two human characters who enter Barbieland also transform into wearing pastel, “girly” outfits, despite the fact that Sasha was shown to prefer darker colors in the real world. I understand that the movie has an aesthetic to maintain, but if it was truly the feminist masterpiece it claims to be, why wouldn’t they have more examples of different ways to be a woman? If not with the Barbies, why not with the human characters?

-the scene where Barbie is crying and asking “what if I’m not pretty anymore?” and the narration making a joke about how its ironic that someone as beautiful as Margot Robbie is saying this really made me angry. So you’re aware enough of the problem to joke about it, but not aware enough to cast a single ugly person in the movie? I loved seeing the fat Barbie, but she was still fat in a very “safe” way (white, hyper feminine, never wore revealing clothes, had a big ass, a conventionally attractive face without a large double chin, etc). What about people who have never been, and never will be, pretty? Are they not worthy of empowerment or a place on the screen?

-it’s been said by a lot of people, but this movie says absolutely nothing new or nuanced about feminism or gender. There’s a scene where Sasha’s mom has a long monologue about how much it sucks to be a woman, and she does point out a lot of things, but from what I remember none of them were very systemic? Yes it sucks that saying yes to men’s advances makes you a slut and saying no makes you a prude, but what about things foundational to many counties around the world (wage gap, suffrage, lack of representation in government, body autonomy, etc)? Why does barbieland have systems of government modeled after real world systems that contribute to the subjugation of women/people able to become pregnant (what does the barbieland think of roe vs wade?)? There was also a joke towards the end of the movie where a ken asks if kens can be on the Supreme Court, and the president Barbie says no. The narration then makes a joke about how soon kens will have as much power as women do in the real world. That’s not a funny thing to joke about.

-similarly, the ken’s “patriarchy” sucked, of course, but again was very “safe” and non systemic. I’m not saying the Barbie movie should have addressed things like abuse or anything, but I’m just saying that this is an example of nothing about gender or feminism being nuanced in this movie.

-the movie to me felt very “womanhood is suffering”. Why is it that a monologue about how much sexism sucked is what woke Barbies up from their ken brainwashing?

-finally, the joke at the end about how Barbie is human and therefore has a vagina now was straight up transphobic. She’s a real woman now, so she has a vagina like real women do. Are there any trans Barbies in Barbieland?