#oughghh Astarion

[kemalamalam]

Chevrotain's character does change quite a lot bc of it! their whole theme of abuse is like Stockholm if i had to describe it, they tend to minimize the abuse they went through bc "my abuser said it was for my own good, and they were right".

so rlly like Auntie Ethel and incorporated her into Chevrotain's story HDHAHDJ, she raised Chevrotain and burnt their skin bc "thats what they do to changeling fey children, you would be mistaken by one if you return to the material plane, im doing this so you'll get used to it" its clearly bullshit but Tain was 7 so they believed it, and they WERE burnt after they returned.

So in their head "a little pain and hurt is okay bc it had my best interest in mind", so when the Emperor offered the astral tadpole and Chevrotain transforms, they went through the same thing of "well it does make me more powerful, i dont feel good about it but its fine" routine.

I imagine the player can choose to encourage the belief that their abuser were "being kind actually" or to convince Chevrotain that they are a victim! whichever choice the player makes Chevrotain would dye their hair black to fit their new look though, and their personality shifts a lot.

Since their good looks and the whole "putting on a good image for the general public" thing is basically impossible now KXKAND Chevrotain becomes more direct, more honest and gets openly upset more than before. Which i think makes their transformation more of a neutral thing, since they can achieve the same thing without getting wormed but it just kinda makes them jump to that part of their development faster

thinking about how the first time you use the tadpole, the narrator mentions that you lost something that you'll never get back...how the dream guardian encourages you to keep using your powers and absorb the power of even more tadpoles despite you losing something each time you expand your power.

and how that something is player agency regarding the astral tadpole if you've consumed any extra tadpoles. you make all these moves to become all powerful, only to end up forcibly transformed and basically thrall of a rogue mindflayer.