#plus like she literally has had sending for years and frequently (in my mind) uses it to talk to people she hasnt seen in a while
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Thinking about Leo being Immenient...... seeing him again is gonna mess me up so bad literally So much has changed for both him and georgie in the years it's been! I'm to so sold on the idea that while Georgie knows he's been doing bad shit she can talk him out of it. And that's so unfounded! But absolutely shes not gonna fight him/have a Really hard time doing so if it comes to that he's literally her childhood best friend! She can't hurt him! (All the hurt she caused by never reaching out dni)
#vaerna#georgie#man i could ramble about them for so long#and i didnt even come up with him!! joe did!#truly perfect absolutely perfect#i Katie cannot wait to see how this goes down#i relish the idea of not being to fight while clearly needing to#i cant Wait for the emotional pain of your old friend who is evil know but refusing to see that#its gonna be so hard and im so excited for it#plus like she literally has had sending for years and frequently (in my mind) uses it to talk to people she hasnt seen in a while#but never leo#and that Means something
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Faq
Just questions I anticipate being frequently asked. Will be extended as new questions are well... Frequently asked!
Why no dreammare? Why no Fresh x minty? Why no incest ships?
They fit the stipulation I put forward in the disqualifications page that I won't do incest related things. Itd feel like I'm condoning it or I was making it seem cute in some way and incest isn't cute/attractive and shouldn't be condoned. It literally only removes like 6 ships total out of a hundred plus possibilities, cope.
Why are all the ship kids gay/trans/etc?
Cause gay rights and gay wrongs :) there are completely cishet kids though too they are just ~ rare ~
Will you ever consider adding *insert au here*?
Like I said in my disqualifications post, if they don't fit any of those to an extreme degree, especially number 2, I will consider adding them to the second list with a bunch of other Sanses.
Can I draw these ship kids? Can I ship shipkids with other ship kids/Other characters? Can I self-ship myself with shipkids here?
Absolutely! Id love to be tagged in it too! I may even reblog the post here so others can see it! All I ask is you don't put them in ships with adult characters/gen 0 Sanses/original au Sanses (like the ones on my list), don't ship them inappropriately (like a 17 year old ship kid with a 10 yr old, have some decorum) or ship them with their siblings/half siblings/other related family. In the end, I can't stop you from drawing/writing whatever you want but I sure can ignore your art and block you >;)/srs so maybe dont tag me in or send me the art where your breaking my very simple rules.
Do you ship the ships you draw for? Do you have any ships between ship kids?
Not all of the obviously but I do have a few sans amasui ships I really love like dreamfresh, kustard, outersci and others but I tend to like rarepairs the most. Also yes! I do ship some of my ship kids together with each other (blossom and moon) and with ship kids outside of my own (like luna x goth is an ancient love of mine and Doom x lux). It's abit uncommon for me but I do ship some! None of them are really canon though so if you ship them a different way, as long as it's abiding to their sexuality, I don't mind!
What dose MLM/ILW/NbLnb mean?
These are conjoining community labels and I use them more for bi/gay/hetero curious ocs. MLM means men love(ing) men and describes a man that likes other men, this label includes bi men and gay men. When I say a male oc is MLM, I mean that he knows he likes boys but he doesn't specify his sexuality further. He could like girls or enbies or he couldn't, he's not sure yet. Oh and since it's related; ILW/ILM/ILNB means intersex/intergender so ILW means intersex/Intergender loving women. I means intersex/Intergender, W means woman, M means man and NB means nonbinary.
"lesbians can't use he/him pronouns"/"Neopronouns are stupid"/*insert some other form of lgbtphobia here*
I won't entertain this. Anyone can use any pronouns ever, Neopronouns are older than Shakespeare and all LGBT discourse is poison. " I can't physically pronounce Zey/Zem!" Ok that's why the auxiliary/acceptable exipronouns(she, he, they or it) are written right next to them :) its almost like you have no excuses to misgender and mispronoun my characters :)
What's this nonbinary character's birth sex/dead name?
Although I do know (because I made them), why do you wanna know what genitals this 5 year old character has? :) that's awful fucking weird dude. Idk about youuu :) (<- not thinking about smashing your creep ass head in/hj)
"Intersex is a sex, not a gender"
Putting this to the side because I'm intersex, I've had Perisex(non-intersex people) genuinely say this and yes, people can and have and will describe their gender as Intergender/intersex. It just means that because your intersex, you can't nessesarily be labeled as cis or trans or nonbinary. Your technically cis because you identify with your gender/sex assigned at birth and that gender/sex is intersex. Technically the label is cintersex/cintergender but Intergender is basically the same. It just means your gender is your intersexuality. It's not that complicated and if you arnt Intergender, especially if you arnt intersex at all, you have no business telling us what our gender can and can't be.
How does a 3 year old know their full gender, sexuality and pronouns?
They don't! The guide is applicable to them throughout their whole lives. That 3 year old doesn't know that their polyam and bi right at that age but when they grow up, they will know and that will be their orientation and relationship desires. The ages present are really just to show the age differences between them, their siblings and the other ship kids. That 3 yr old has a version of them in a timeline right now where they are 30 years old, its all relative.
The birthdays/orientations/genders/pronouns/etc you put for the main Sanses arnt right.
Your correct. It's because I did my own takes on them and I'm basing them off my own headcanons and also because not every creator of those Sanses ever answered those questions. Technically these ship kids could both apply to my versions as well as apply to them canonically.
How do you decide their birthdays/orientations/pronouns/etc?
I spin a wheel with all the options and just pick what it lands on! (Of course with some basic stuff like no lesbian trans men, no Aro/ace/Aroace pre-teens and below, etc)
What's your name/pronouns/gender/etc?
Although my pronouns were already added to the main post, all the information on my sona's sheet applies to me, the real Zen and runner of this blog! (I go by Zen or Zenia, I'm two spirit Genderfluid and intersex, I'm bi Arospec and polyam, my favorite color is a minty teal green, I'm 23 yrs old, my birthday is June 4th, etc etc)
If you have another question and don't see it present, like I said on the main post, please feel free to send in my inbox! I'll happily answer and if I think it could come up again, I'll add it to the FAQ so it won't need to be answered again.
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A (long) analysis of Azriel,
+ a bit of discussion about Gwynriel vs. Elriel at the end.
Lately I’ve seen much discussion surrounding Azriel, and there seems to be a lot of hazy gray area. We know he has a terrible past, carries a lot of trauma, is both mentally and physically scarred, and has disturbingly possessive habits. But why? That’s the question.
I think most of Azriel’s character can be filtered into three sections: his anger, his possessiveness, and his self-loathing. Altogether I believe these form his crippling sense of emotional immaturity, which ultimately shines through most every action he makes in the books.
So yes, I firmly believe Az is a child in the body of a 500 year old Fae. But is he treated as such? No. No, he is not. In fact, he’s treated as the exact opposite, and that can’t be doing wonders for his mental health (which is already in shambles. Off to a cheery start.)
Let’s take a look at his past. He was both mentally and physically abused for the majority of his childhood. Then he was thrown into an unforgiving culture that both mentally and physically abused him as well. Then he was essentially bullied by Cassian and Rhysand for quite a while... until they randomly decided to like him, which is a choice he didn’t seem to play a hand in. And then he became a professional torturer. All the while falling madly in love and becoming obsessed with a female who can’t love him back. Not to mention he’s been ostracized his entire life.
(One big thing though, that I’m going to reference frequently, is Azriel’s constant chase of “happiness.” Kind of like my friends with ADHD. We squeeze all the serotonin we can get out of one thing and then fall into a listless, depressed haze until we find another. I honestly think Azriel does the same thing with people--he latches onto them and lets his mood swings rely on how much attention they do or do not pay him, and whether it is positive or negative.)
So I’m going to go through his relationships with pivotal characters and try to explain what I think is really going on with Azriel.
Regarding Mor:
He was obsessed with her for most of his life. He was incredibly possessive of her and fell instantly in love upon seeing her. Do I think it was love? No. But does Azriel think it was love? Yes, and that is so important. It shows how desperate he was for human connection.
This “love” spiraled into centuries-long obsession that we’ve all seen play out throughout the series. But why is it obsession, and not love? Well, I’m going to go ahead and say that Azriel doesn’t know how to love. He’s never been shown genuine love and so he doesn’t know how to show it to others in the way he intends. He’s basically a baby.
But right after he falls head over heels, Mor sleeps with Cassian, and then Cassian plays the role of the buffer between the two of them all the way up until the events of ACOSF. This is where I think Azriel’s anger comes into play. He can’t get to Mor. His best friend, his brother, is blocking him from her. He can’t touch her, love her, feel her, and he’s so desperate to. But he literally has no way to communicate it because he doesn’t know how, and so he responds in the one way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. And intense protectiveness that eventually begins to translate as possessiveness.
Again, he lets his happiness rely on Mor because he can’t make himself happy, and so his lack of emotional maturity ends up revealing him as desperate and unable to communicate his feelings of inadequacy and frustration. I’m not trying to justify his behavior, not at all. But I think this could be a decent explanation.
Regarding Cassian and Rhysand:
I mean... I kind of hate the way these two have treated Azriel. They all have their fair share of trauma, but Cassian and Rhys also bullied him and ostracized him, and then basically said, “Oh, we like you now.” Which completely leaves Azriel in the dark as to where he stands with them, and strips him of awareness regarding how his friendships with them will operate.
And then he becomes the head of espionage for the Night Court, which involves lots and lots of torture. What kind of message does that send? You’ve seen dirty things, Az, so you don’t mind doing the rest of the dirty things for us, right? That’s the only real message I can get from this. Which then plants the message in Azriel’s head of: Not only do I do dirty things, I myself am a dirty, disgusting thing. Thus, furthering his already deep-seated sense of self-loathing.
Plus, the IC generally operates with a pack-like mindset. One person’s method of healing is everyone’s method of healing. It worked for one person, so it worked for everyone. It’s a very naive mindset, and very toxic as well, so it’s not surprising that literally everyone in the IC is colossally messed up despite preaching themselves as having overcome their demons.
So Azriel never really gets to understand himself and mature as a person. He’s stuck pretending to be perfectly fine underneath Rhysand’s oh-so-benevolent and compassionate hand. Rhysand and Cassian recognize Az as being a little... odd, by seeming to think things like “he’s the quiet one” and “he’s the serious, scary one.” But do they attempt to understand him? No. They leave him to his own devices and let him figure it out himself.
That’s the issue. He’s not ever going to figure it out himself, so long as he’s surrounded by the people who’ve been unwittingly suffocating him for most of his life.
Regarding Elain:
Azriel’s infatuation with Elain, in my opinion, comes as a direct result of his detachment from Mor. Just like one hyperfixation fades quickly from an all-consuming thing to a passing thought, Azriel has shifted from one obsession to the next, in order to keep his spirits on a high.
But I think his feelings for Elain reveal a lot of what Mor did not. Why does he view Elain as so holy compared to him? Why is he so hesitant to touch her? Why does he put her on such a pedestal? That’s his self-loathing coming through again. He hates himself so much that he has to place her above him.
He wants to touch her and love her, just as he did with Mor, but again he is unable. It's a repeating pattern that he can’t get himself out of.
Let’s also look at the way Elain and Azriel’s friendship/relationship began. He had to take care of her, and treat her with utmost respect. She looked at his scars or his siphons, both monstrous looking things, and called them beautiful. Let’s remember that he’s basically a child who’s rarely known genuine love. The minute he gets a glimpse of it, he’s going to grab it by the neck and crush it to his chest. Plus, the fact that she’s the last sister left unattached and he’s the last brother left unattached is probably even more convincing for him that he and Elain are meant for each other. When he’s denied this love that’s come nearly close enough to grab, he responds in the only way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. Just like he did with Mor.
But moving on, that glimpse of potential love comes from Elain. That’s why he’s able to let go of Mor; a relationship with Elain suddenly becomes possible. He’s terrified of ruining this potential love and is incredibly drawn to her all the same. Best of all? She wants him too.
BUT. Azriel knows how fragile Elain is, so he walks on glass around her, coddling her, putting her first like he’s put everyone else first since being a part of the IC. I think he wants to save her from becoming like him. He essentially plays the role of her white knight, entirely losing his sense of self-preservation (not that he ever had one), and thus loses any chance of letting Elain help him mature in return.
Regarding Gwyn:
Now, Gwyn is a different story.
We know Azriel likes her. Maybe not in a consciously romantic way, but he likes her. She makes him smile and laugh, and he finds her amusing. He doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around her.
The big thing, I think, is that he doesn’t have to take care of her. At least, I think that’s what makes him so comfortable around her. With Gwyn, he can relax, and he doesn’t have to watch every move he makes. She treats him like a regular person and he treats her similarly.
Now, is it a bad thing that he doesn’t put her on a saint-like pedestal like he does Elain? No. Definitely not. I think this ordinary friendship signals a much healthier relationship than his festering obsession with Elain. Gwyn simply being his friend and not someone that he feels he has to be perfect for is a good foundation for Azriel growing as a person.
Gwynriel vs. Elriel (the necklace):
Honestly, I’m scared for whatever SJM decides to do, because Azriel has a shitload of trauma to move past and years worth of emotional growth needed before he can be a steady partner in a relationship. Both Gwyn and Elain’s character arcs are definitely not finished and so I think that no matter which way his narrative goes, it’s going to be disappointing in some aspect or another, unfortunately. I don’t think that either one of the females’ arcs really fit well with Azriel’s.
But I’m going to take a closer look at the necklace, because I think it’s a telling narrative point.
For Azriel, the necklace for Elain and Gwyn herself, are both “thing[s] of secret, lovely beauty” to him.
By describing the necklace for Elain as such (instead of Elain herself), Azriel unconsciously reveals his more idealistic view of Elain rather than his love for Elain herself. I kind of get the sense of Azriel giving offerings to a goddess, or something like that. He seems to be more preoccupied with appeasing Elain than actually loving her.
Now, this probably comes from, again, his self-loathing and his emotional immaturity. I’m just repeating myself at this point. He doesn’t know how to love himself and he doesn’t know how to love anyone else.
But then he describes Gwyn as such. Gwyn, the person. In my opinion, this demonstrates a potentially much healthier relationship than what he has with Elain. Azriel, instead of wanting to be perfect for Gwyn and wanting to appease her, is simply made happy by the thought of her. It is Gwyn whom he is taken with, not the idea of Gwyn loving him. And so that takes off so much pressure for him, and introduces the hope that he might be able to mature as a person in a friendship or romantic relationship with Gwyn.
Closing thoughts:
Azriel is a blundering, hormonal child desperate for love with no idea of how to get it, in a 500 year old Fae’s body. He’s also surrounded by people who refuse to address his clear issues... his future’s pretty dim, and I think he realizes it. Which is why whoever SJM chooses to be his romantic interest is going to be very important.
In short, I’m scared for what’s to come. But fingers crossed that his incredibly complex character is done justice.
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Shallow.
Another for the Phic Phight 2021! 4,596 words. Rated T for mean girl shit.
FFN || AO3
Danny finds out why Paulina and Sam actually hate each other. Prompt by Ozone.
I had actually been planning on writing this before it was a Phic Phight prompt, and had even started writing it already! I refuse to believe that Sam would just hate a girl for no reason.
The "Danny and Sam meeting in detention in 7th grade" is a nod to Myaibou's The Lunch Club. I love that being the way the trio met. This author has a lot of other great fics too, I highly recommend!
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“So I’m thinking about organizing a rally against police violence. Would you guys want to join?” Sam asked her two friends at lunch. She was poking at her salad.
“Yeah! Something I’ll actually want to do!” Tucker exclaimed, forcing Sam to fist bump.
“Sweet. How about you Danny?”
“Yeah, I’m in,” Danny popped a fry into his mouth and grinned.
“Awesome! Okay so, I was thinking next weekend at the park. We can make flyers and posters and make an event on social media to get people interested. Would you mind doing that Tucker?” Sam pulled up her checklist on her phone.
“Huh? Yeah sure. Remind me later.”
“Danny, do you think we could maybe have a short appearance from Phantom? I feel like having a celebrity of sorts would really get people excited,” Sam continued. After no reply from Danny, she glanced up at her two friends, noticing they were distracted once again by Paulina. Sam rolled her eyes. “Danny?”
“Uh huh. Sure.”
Sam let out a sigh of frustration. “We could even reveal your secret, make a huge event out of it.”
“Yeah, yeah. I feel you,” Tucker replied.
“And then I can jump off the roof in a pink tutu…” Sam added.
“Sounds good,” Danny sighed and rested his head in his hand.
“Then I’ll mud wrestle my parents in a floral bikini.”
“Yeah that sucks,” Danny replied again.
Sam just groaned, “You guys aren’t even listening to me!”
Danny glanced at her. “Yeah we are! Something about a uh….poster? Environment thing?”
Tucker finally looked at her as well. “Did you say something about you wearing a bikini?”
“Argh! Stop staring at Paulina for two seconds please!” She drummed her fingernails on the table impatiently.
“Wait, Sam’s wearing a bikini? But it’s winter!” Danny replied to Tucker’s comment.
Sam let out a small scream and started packing her stuff up. “Ugh, forget it!”
Noticing Sam was about to leave, Danny put a hand on her shoulder to sit her back down. “No no no, don’t leave Sam! You have our attention.”
“Really? Because it seems to me you two were just making a puddle of drool that would still be less shallow than Paulina.” Sam glared at the girl in question, who was clinging to Dash and trying to get his attention as Kwan put forks up his nose to look like a walrus.
“Jeeze, lay off. What’s your problem with Paulina?” Tucker turned back towards his friends and sipped at his energy drink. It had been a long night capturing Technus.
“Yeah, you just hated her from day one. She didn’t do anything! She literally just moved here,” Danny added.
“No, she didn’t. You just never noticed her until other guys started to. And I have my reasons.” Sam stabbed at her salad harshly, as if she was making a Paulina voodoo doll out of her food.
“Well then, why? Why do you hate her?”
“I don’t just hate her. She hates me too. It’s a mutual hate,” Sam growled.
“Okay but why?” Tucker chimed in.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sam said shortly.
“Well either tell us or stop complaining,” Tucker replied.
Danny made a grab for her fork and held it away from her. “Danny, give me my fork back.”
“No,” Danny said stubbornly. “We’re your best friends! You can tell us anything. And trust me, I’m desperate to hear your reasoning.”
Both boys stared her down. She would have stabbed both of them with her fork if she still had it. She was pissed. But then Danny’s stare down turned into his puppy dog eyes and pout, which she knew he knew would get her to cave. Damn him. She turned her focus to Tucker so she could keep her angry face, but he too started pouting. Sam hated when they ganged up on her like this. She could usually save face when Tucker pouted. Danny’s big sad questioning eyes almost always swayed her. She could get either of them to cave with a glare or, in very rare cases, her puppy dog eyes. It was so rare that it would immediately get her what she wanted. But when two of them ganged up on the remaining member of the trio, it was difficult to say no.
Sam let out a long groan. “Fine. If you can actually focus and not stare at the queen bee for two minutes, I’ll tell you.” As soon as that was out of her mouth, both boys stood up straight and focused all their attention on her, eager to finally hear why the two girls despised each other so much. “And we will never bring this up again. What I tell you doesn’t leave this table.” Both boys nodded unanimously. “Okay, remember those few years from 3rd grade to 6th grade when I went to a different school?” The boys nodded again. “Well, I never really told you guys why I was only there for a few years. You obviously know the part about my parents wanting to send me to a different school after that fiasco with the lunch box in 2nd grade, but they forced me to go to a private school. In 5th grade, Paulina moved to Amity Park from Florida. And...ugh, this is gross...We…” She trailed off and muttered something the boys didn’t catch.
“What?” Both boys pressed.
“We...used to be...friends,” Sam choked the words out.
Both Danny and Tucker’s eyes widened, eyebrows raised in complete surprise. They thought Paulina moved here in 9th grade, but of course if she went to the private school, they never would have seen her. They definitely didn’t hang out in the same places or with the same people. Hell, they forgot Sam existed until she went back to public school again in 7th grade with her goth look. Before that, they weren’t even friends with Sam, just classmates. Then all three of them had to spend a week in detention with each other, they became friends, and the rest is history. Sam’s break in private school was the reason they were still learning some things about her, like her playing video games and her family being wealthy. It was shocking that her and Paulina were friends once upon a time, because now the girls wouldn’t even talk to each other or acknowledge each other.
“What happened?” Tucker asked in dismay.
“Armageddon.”
“Class, please welcome our new student Paulina Sanchez. She moved here all the way from Florida!” Mrs. Wellington clapped her hands, motioning for her students to do the same. “Miss Sanchez, there is an empty seat behind Miss Manson. Miss Manson, please raise your hand.”
Sam Manson raised her hand as she studied the new girl. She seemed nice enough. She couldn’t tell if they had the same style or not because they had to wear uniforms, but she had a pretty butterfly clip in her long wavy hair. Paulina had some pink lipgloss on and already looked like she was….developing - even at 10 years old. She smiled at Sam and took her seat behind her.
Once the teacher started getting their math lesson started, Paulina whispered in Sam’s ear. “I love your bow, it’s so pretty!”
Sam smiled and glanced back at the new girl. “Thanks! I like your clip. Do you want to sit with me and my friends at lunch today?”
“Yes please! I don’t know anyone in this weird town.”
“I’m Samantha. Samantha Manson.” She stuck her hand out.
Paulina, with a perfect manicure, shook Sam’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
For the entirety of 5th grade, Sam and Paulina had become nearly inseparable. They played with Paulina’s large dollhouse when they got together after school, they skipped rope and chanted nursery rhymes at recess, and braided each other’s hair at lunch. There weren’t many kids at the private school, for it was very exclusive...and expensive.
That fact had been Pamela Manson’s primary reason for sending her daughter to that school. Public school was turning her sweet daughter into a barbarian. Fighting with boys at school? Well, considering the boy threw up in her lunch box, the fight was almost justified. Almost. The Mansons were disgusted that the teachers would allow that to happen. Samantha had only been in public school in the first place due to her grandmother’s persistence. Ida Manson insisted public school would be better for their little Sammykins. She would meet more people that way. Reluctantly, Pamela and Jeremy agreed. Although the Mansons were furious at first that their little girl had gotten in trouble, they were eventually delighted because they now had an excuse to send Samantha to a better and more dignified school.
Pamela Manson adored Paulina. She was glad her daughter had finally picked a proper friend. Samantha had been getting a little too close with those two boys who always riled her up. Folten or Fenton or something. Foley? She didn’t care to remember, her daughter wouldn’t be seeing them anymore. Paulina wore pretty pink dresses and was always groomed properly and well behaved. She had hoped Paulina would be a better influence on Sam after those boys. Plus, Pamela loved outings with the Sanchez family. She and Isabella had frequent mother-daughter outings with their girls.
Everything was perfect until 6th grade started. A few weeks into that first semester, all hell broke loose.
“Hey guys,” Sam sat down at her lunch table, joining Paulina and a few other girls she had become friends with.
“Hey Samantha!”
“Samantha, Kylie was just telling me how pretty my hair is!” Paulina bragged.
“It is lovely,” Sam commented, opening up her lunch box and discarding the meat products her mom had the butler slip in. Paulina had originally thought it was a little odd that Sam did that, but when her friend explained it was because she loved animals so much, Paulina agreed that they were too cute to eat but kept on with her own ways.
“I know!” Paulina chirped.
“Wow, Samantha. Your hair is really pretty too!” Kylie reached out a hand and started running her fingers through Sam’s almost hip-length black hair. “Oooh and it’s so soft!” A few other girls joined Kylie in playing with Sam’s hair.
“Thanks,” Sam laughed. She really didn’t care, but she found it amusing that her friends were so enthralled by her hair.
“What about mine?” Paulina pouted, upset the attention wasn’t on her anymore.
“Yours isn’t as soft, but it’s still nice!” One of the girls replied, still enamoured with Sam’s raven locks. “Is this your natural color?” Sam’s nod was followed up with coos of approval.
Paulina crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at the other girls. Sam was her best friend. She loved Sam. But Sam didn’t care about that kind of stuff. Paulina did! She was used to getting more attention from people. Paulina was the first in their grade to get a bra, she liked to flirt with boys, and she loved being pampered. When outside of school, Sam didn’t really dress up anymore. She would just wear dark t-shirts and shorts and put her hair up into a ponytail. She wouldn’t even let Paulina put flowers in her hair to make her more girly! Instead, Sam scolded her for killing a living thing and disrupting nature or something stupid like that.
After Sam and her family had taken a short visit to one of the industrial plants they owned, she hadn’t been the same. Sam had told Paulina that there was trash in all the pretty trees and flowers, and then Sam had done some research and found out that her parents’ friends’ companies tested on animals, polluted the environment, and had poor labor conditions. She was really upset about it and thought things were wrong, and Paulina would just politely agree with her. She liked that Sam loved the earth and stuff, but then it started to get really annoying.
Sam started reading these weird books after their class learned about Edgar Allan Poe. Stuff about magic and mythology and the occult. Even though Paulina and the other girls thought it was weird, Sam was still their friend. Kind of. Paulina was going to drop Sam until she had been invited to the Manson mansion and found out just how rich Sam’s family was. That kept Sam in good standing with Paulina. Despite the weird factor, Sam was still admired. Sam got better grades than Paulina. Sam got attention from boys because she would still play kickball in her jumper and didn’t mind getting dirty. Sam’s family had a bigger house than Paulina’s. Sam’s family had more money. Sam’s hair was softer, longer, prettier than Paulina’s.
As Paulina watched her friends doting on Sam, taking turns to play with Sam’s hair, she realized she was a little jealous. No matter how hard Paulina had flaunted herself and tried to show up Sam, she felt like Sam always won in the end. It was extra annoying because Sam was so nice. Everyone loved her. Everyone wanted to hang out with her. Sam was a lot of things Paulina tried so hard to be, and Sam had done everything so effortlessly. It wasn’t fair!
They were both very dominant girls, and Paulina realized there wasn’t enough room for the both of them. She needed to prove to everyone, to herself, that she was better and she was in charge of things. Filthy rich or not, Paulina began to ice Sam out and Sam didn’t even seem to notice! After trying and failing to persuade the other girls to drop Sam, she realized she would need to take more drastic measures. She could make people not like Sam anymore. She could make her hair prettier than Sam’s. Sure, it was petty and low, but petty and low is what teenagers are.
Paulina ignored the lesson and stared at the back of Sam’s hair. It was so shiny and looked so soft. Sam smiled as she felt Paulina pulling her long black hair onto her desk, blocking Paulina’s view of her textbook. Paulina pretended to play with Sam’s hair as she dug something out of her purse. After a few minutes, Paulina had shoved several sticks of gum in her mouth, chomping spitefully as she stared at Sam’s hair. Paulina silently spit the large wad of gum into her hand and she carefully placed it on top of Sam’s hair. Furiously but nonchalantly slamming her text book shut with Sam’s hair and the gum still in the middle of it. That should get the gum thoroughly stuck in her hair. Paulina grinned to herself as she tried opening the textbook again, the pages stuck to the hair and gum mess she had made.
When the class all stood up to go to lunch, Sam cried out as Paulina’s textbook yanked her head back. “What?” Sam tried to figure out what was going on, looking behind her.
“Oh my god!” A boy in the class yelled, which caught the attention of the rest of the class, causing them to start yelling as well. The teacher scrambled over to see what was wrong, trying to get Sam’s hair out of the textbook.
“Ow!” Sam yelled and glanced back at Paulina, who pretended to be shocked as she covered her mouth with her hands.
“Oh no Samantha! I’m so sorry, it was an accident!”
Tears welled up in Sam’s eyes as the situation got progressively worse. The teacher told all the kids to go to lunch as she worked on Sam’s hair in the classroom alone. It was no use. The teacher grabbed some scissors and began cutting as low as she could. “I’m so sorry sweetie.”
Sam sat there furiously, eyes full of tears. She knew Paulina had done that on purpose. Paulina had been meaner to her lately and they weren’t allowed to have gum in class! She reached back and felt her choppy hair that now landed a little past her shoulders. When the class had returned from lunch, they were all gasping and pointing at Sam’s hair.
Though the teacher had given Paulina a detention and made her pay a fine to replace the textbook, Sam didn’t feel that was a fair punishment. The teacher had sent Sam home and apologized profusely to Pamela Manson, who had called the school screaming and demanding the teacher be fired. Sam’s hair had to be cut even shorter to even it out; it now sat about an inch or so above her shoulders.
“Oh yeah, that’s pretty shitty,” Danny commented as Sam finished the story.
Tucker nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah that’s pretty low.”
Sam sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. She had kept it short so Paulina wouldn’t get the chance to mess with it again. “That’s not the end of the story.”
Tucker and Danny exchanged a look as she continued.
Sam had stopped going near Paulina after that, but she still hadn’t forgiven the girl. Her mom, though angry at Paulina, told Sam to just leave it alone. Like hell Sam was going to let her get away with this. At lunch the next day, she snuck an innocent little worm on Paulina’s lunch when she wasn’t looking. Paulina of course screamed and caused a commotion, easily pointing the finger at Sam. Teachers had no proof Sam did anything, so they just got Paulina a new lunch and told her to calm down.
Pranks and nasty incidents just escalated after that, until Paulina had done something so terrible it got Sam expelled.
Paulina had a crush on Ricky (ironically no relation to Lunch Box Ricky) and Ricky was chatting away happily with Sam about some comic book. Paulina was already over all the pranks: spiders in her purse, “accidentally” ruining her new shirt...Sam had been careful to not leave behind too much evidence so she never got in trouble. Paulina wasn’t as clever and had to serve a few detentions. And now, Sam was trying to steal her new boyfriend away from her! She knew she needed to not only win this war, but completely end it. And fast.
Sam had been called into the office the next day. Her parents were also called in to meet with the teacher, vice principal, and principal. Apparently, there were some naked pictures of Sam floating around the school, which was against their code of conduct. As much as Sam explained that wasn’t her and that Paulina was just trying to get back at her, her parents were threatening to send her to a boarding school and she would be suspended for the rest of the year. When Sam tried to confront Paulina about everything, Paulina admitted getting Ricky, who was in yearbook and owed her for letting him get to second base, to poorly photoshop some images together and make it seem like Sam had taken naked photos of herself. Though some kids backed Sam up and validated that Paulina had in fact done that on purpose, Sam ended up getting expelled for punching Paulina square in the face. Paulina said she wanted a nose job anyway. Plus, the stuck up bitch had stuck gum to the side of Sam’s head AGAIN, forcing Sam to shave half of her head.
More kids came forward about the feuding girls as Paulina continued to spread rumors about Sam being a freak and pretending to be rich when she wasn’t. Paulina was so shallow; she only cared about looks and popularity and money (and got the rest of the students at the school on board with being snobby and stuck up) - she showed no remorse for treating her former best friend, who kindly helped her gain her footing in Amity Park, the way she did.
The Mansons eventually learned the truth of what happened and cut off all ties with the Sanchez family after having a huge screaming fit over the phone. Though the school had apologized and said Sam could return to school, the damage had already been done and her parents never forgave the school. Sam and her grandmother had convinced her parents that she could go back to public school for 7th grade. Her parents had continued to force their daughter to go back to the way she was before all of this happened, but Sam just continued to pull away from them. She became spiteful and grim, and had a really hard time trusting anyone after that.
“And that’s why I never told you guys about my wealth and why you knew so little about me. I didn’t trust people anymore. It just seemed like people would only talk to me because they knew who my family was. I mean, we didn’t just get rich off of toothpicks. We have an empire.” Sam finished quietly. Then, she gave a small smile. “But I know now that I can trust you guys. We’ve been through so much in such a short amount of time. And honestly? I wouldn’t trade you guys for anything. I’d rather have two great friends than fifty so-called friends who only liked me for shallow reasons. Plus, after I decked Paulina, I was kind of blacklisted.” Her smile widened, pride beaming through.
“Wow. Sorry Sam, we didn’t know.” Danny rested a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.
“I know.” Sam rested her hand on Danny’s, causing both teens to go a little pink in the face.
“Wait wait wait. So you’re telling me there’s nude photos of you somewhere?” Tucker leaned his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together.
Sam rolled her eyes. “No, moron. They were photoshopped. I mean the skin tone didn’t even match, I don’t know how the school thought that was real. I think they were just so shocked anything like that could happen with 6th graders.”
Danny’s face turned more red at the thought of nude photos of Sam existing somewhere, fake or not. He was angry that someone would try to hurt Sam that way, but he was more embarrassed of himself because he was now picturing his best friend naked. His hand suddenly felt hot on her shoulder and he yanked it away quickly with Sam shooting him only a questioning look. He grumbled something under his breath and scooted his chair so his lap was more under the table. Now was not the time.
Tucker snorted. “Amateurs. I was better at photoshop when I was 5 years old.”
Sam laughed. “That’s exactly what I was thinking. Anyway, I guess Paulina’s parents switched her to public school for 9th. I guess the private school didn’t have a cheer squad or something,” Sam shrugged. “When I saw Paulina show up here on the first day of school, I was honestly shocked and a little terrified. Before anything could get out, I cornered her and we swore to never acknowledge that we even knew each other and to stay away from each other. I tried giving her benefit of the doubt, hoping she changed, but then she set up and blew off Danny at the dance to make a jab at me-”
“What?!” Danny exclaimed. “That’s why she ditched me?!”
Sam ignored him and continued, “and I just realized she would never change. She was always going to be shallow and petty, but I would let her start fresh at Casper as long as she stayed far far away from me. I’m too exhausted to care anymore. But yeah, people stopped hanging out with me and started calling me a freak, especially when I became goth. That’s why I hate it when my parents try to push pink and girly on me, it reminds me of that time. It was pretty lonely and I was starting to get self-destructive, until you guys came along.” She smiled softly at them. “You guys saved my life.”
Both boys had their jaws dropped, completely unaware that there had been that huge of a backstabbing backstory that clearly affected Sam way more than she cared to admit.
“You were hurting yourself?” Danny’s voice sounded broken. Sam was so strong now. He never would have thought that she could have killed herself before he even got to meet her. He was suddenly very glad he started talking to her in detention back in 7th grade.
Sam nodded. “Yeah, I kinda hate that I did that. I promise I’m better now. Between you guys and a lot of therapy, I feel better about myself than I ever have. It’s stupid,” she added, “because I really did find myself because of all she did to me, so in a way I should thank her…”
“Uh, no. I’m surprised you haven’t killed her yet. Especially after she tried stealing Dan-” Tucker shut his mouth after he received a swift kick to the shin. Apparently now was not the time to tease Sam about her crush on Danny.
“Yeah. You’re really so kind, Sam. You have a good heart. I know I would have handled that situation a lot worse than you did,” Danny disclosed.
“True. Our Sammy has a soft spot after all.” Tucker huffed as he received another kick for calling her by the nickname he knew she hated. Only Danny could get away with that one.
“Shhh. You’ll tarnish my reputation,” Sam said in amusement.
The bell rang and students in the cafeteria all stood at once, cleaning their tables and making their way towards their next class. When Paulina passed their table, Danny grimaced.
“I can’t look at her the same anymore,” Danny remarked.
Tucker nodded, “Same, dude.”
“Guys, please. This is all as much of a secret as Danny’s identity is, okay? I don’t want that drama coming back. I get revenge in my dreams. Just let her be, it’s not worth it.” Sam threw her spider backpack over her shoulder.
Tucker glanced at Danny before smirking. “Aww, Sam. Too good for this world. Too pure.”
Danny threw an arm around Sam’s shoulder as they walked to their next class. “Such a cinnamon roll.”
Sam groaned at the boys, “Stooooopppppp!” Tucker caught up to them and tried giving Sam a noogie, but his hand was slapped away swiftly. “No. None of that.” She pointed her finger sternly at him. Her head suddenly snapped towards Danny, who was smiling innocently despite the little tug he gave to her ponytail.
“Don’t worry, Tuck. Sam would never hurt us. She’s a softie inside, like a marshmallow.” Danny laughed as she shot him a look.
“I’m plotting both of your murders in my head, just so you know,” Sam grumbled.
Danny’s arm tightened around Sam protectively, pulling her a little closer as Elliot walked up to them.
“Hey Sam, I-” Elliot’s eyes widened as she pulled out a switchblade from her pocket and pointed it towards him. “Never mind!” He scurried away quickly, slipping in the process.
Danny stiffened and Tucker stared nervously at the knife. “Do you always carry that thing around?”
Sam smiled sickenly sweet, “Still soft?” Tucker shook his head. “That’s what I thought.” She closed the blade and shoved it back in her pocket, smiling because their teasing did cheer her up.
Danny gave her a soft squeeze before removing his arm as they entered the classroom. “Only the people who earned it get to know the real Sam, the one with the kind heart who’s also tough as nails. Right?”
Sam smiled back at Danny, “Exactly.”
#stephanie writes sometimes#danny phantom#fic#phic#phic phight 2021#danny fenton#sam manson#tucker foley#paulina sanchez#sorry I had to make Paulina really mean lol
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The Batfam as Tech Majors
AU where Alfred got tired of watching Bruce slap duct tape on the Batmobile and call it good, so he forced the children into college. He makes each of them complete an internship with Lucius in R and D so they have better knowledge of how the devices that their lives depend on work. Majors/minors/tropes under cut.
Dick:
Mechanical Engineering Major
He was in undeclared engineering for as long as possible
He settled on mechanical because it seemed the most broad
Plus he joined a car club, loved it, and there were a ton of MechE’s there
He ends up taking credit overloads most semesters because he always finds 1-3 random classes that he wants to take
Despite taking everything from advanced computer science classes (he somehow convinces even the most intense professors to let him into their classes) to hyper specific phycology classes, he doesn’t have any minors to show for it
He just gets bored with the subject after a couple classes
This gives him a bunch of random knowledge
When he talks to his younger siblings about classes, somehow he’s always managed to take at least one that they’re in, and offers advice.
He has the best RA stories. He most certainly did not need to be an RA. But the school was hurting for them and he thought it would be fun.
His residents loved him, but that didn’t stop them from playing beer pong in the common spaces at 3am.
He founds a circus arts club after his residents pull up information about his past and get overly excited about it
Specifically, he finds out they know about his past, because one of them decided it was a good idea to try and juggle knives, and because he’d prefer there not to be any additional bloodstains on the carpet he decides to start the club
He nearly graduated late because he forgot he needed to take specific classes for his major
Barbara:
Computer Science/Math duel Major
She’s a TA for Comp Sci 1, all the students fight to get her help because she’s amazing at spotting bugs and is super patient
Somehow she’s the president of 3 clubs and is on student senate
She’s the curve breaker
She gets homework assignments meant to take a week done the day they’re assigned
She and Dick went to a single party together, stayed for five minutes, decided it was too loud, and went to get ice cream
Along with her club, she’s in professional organizations, and is part of a women in STEM mentoring program
She started a petition to get more wheel chair ramps installed. Half the buildings are protected under some “historical grounds” bs that’s an excuse for not being accommodating
The petition didn’t go anywhere at first, but it was widely shared on social media and made the school look horrible, so they implemented some of her proposals
Jason:
Philosophy/Cognitive Science duel Major
He gets asked “There’s a philosophy major?” every time he has to do one of those stupid what’s your name and major icebreakers
Jason lives in the library
He’s fallen asleep in there at 3am after it gets locked up
He quotes philosophers at his siblings when they’re being annoying, and it effectively shuts them up, because he only quotes the most nonsensical arguments
He gets involved with the college’s community outreach program
He volunteers for a local robotics team
When people find out his majors, they’re genuinely confused, because he understands robotics really well
He lies his ass off about being really interested in it as a child
Dick convinced him to be an RA for a semester, and he almost had a heart attack
Someone choked in front of him on the first day
Despite seeming like a tough RA, he genuinely cared about his residents and had to quit because he was so stressed out that one of them would do something stupid and die
Cass:
Innovation/Design Major
She’s really observant, so she’s great at spotting flaws in infrastructure and coming up with ways to fix them
Spending time with Barbara made her realize the lack of systems designed with wheelchair users in mind
Her experience being illiterate and not knowing English has imprinted on her the need for signage that can be understood by anyone
She focuses on taking project based classes, where she can draw out her designs and build them, rather than figuring out the math behind them
She has patents for the inventions she created at WE
She was exempted from the “Alfred’s mandatory college degree program” but decided to go as a part time student for herself
It took her twice as long to graduate, and a lot of tutoring from her siblings, but she made it!
The family threw her an extra special party when she graduated - everyone else had minor celebratory dinners, but they went all out for Cass
There was not a dry eye at her graduation ceremony
Cass works part time with WE on and off as a designer after her first internship
She comes up with ideas during patrols, draws them and sends them to Lucius
Tim:
Computer Science Major with a minor in game design
He makes it to approximately 20% of his lectures
He nearly didn’t graduate on time because he put off his humanity courses for so long
He missed the actual ceremony, even though the family showed up
He starts all his assignments the day before they’re due
If at all possible he avoids groupwork and offers to do assignments by himself because he gives his teammates heart attacks when he starts his part the project at 3pm the day before it’s due
This leads to extremely frequent all-nighters
He always finds himself rewriting everyone else’s code to make it work more efficiently
This can, of course, cause some people to feel a little upset
Other students specifically seek him out as a teammate so they can half ass their parts
He participates in game jams when he has time, and got super into the hacking club
Against all odds, he joined a fraternity
Dick literally fell off a building when he found out
He makes up stories about partying for the heck of it, when in reality he and the guys just play Smash Bros together until 3am
He hasn’t seen anyone drink more than two beers, and he hasn’t tried alcohol there either
He joined on accident, he had just pulled an all-nighter and stumbled into a recruiting fair, he heard someone shouting about Mario Kart Double Dash, and bada bing bada boom, he agreed to rush because it involved being stuck in a room playing video games all weekend
Steph:
Civil Engineering Major with minors in Sustainability and STSS (Science, Technology, and Social Science)
She gets constantly shit on for being a civie
Every time she introduces herself someone mumbles “fake mechie” in the background
She and Jason complain about the disrespect together
She was genuinely shocked when Bruce offered to pay for her college tuition
She’d been planning on going and cutting costs any way possible
But Bruce took her aside when she was applying and offered to pay it all
She refused at first, but then money just appeared in her bank account, and what was she supposed to do, give it back?
She also participates in professional groups and is a member of SWE (Society of Women Engineers), and she mentors younger students
She ends up as class president by running a very successful social media meme campaign
She got and email saying she’d won and panicked because she had no idea what she was doing and was just having fun making memes
She ended up staying class president the entire time, and ended up getting really into it, and ended up with a pretty solid approval rating
She joined a sorority and had a blast
They worked with the local animal shelter, and she started bringing Damian along as well
Her sisters think he’s adorable and he secretly enjoys the attention
She gets her revenge on all the civil engineering haters by landing her dream job redesigning the poorer areas of Gotham to include more green spaces, increase affordable housing, and upgrading access to utilities
Duke:
Biochemisty Major with a minor in Neuroscience
Harper, Tim, Steph, and him are all in the same year
Tim convinces him to join the fraternity with him
He joins a variety of professional groups as well
He mentors other BIPOC, and joins NSBE (National Society of Black Engineers) and runs helps run professional development programs
But he’s also in like million other clubs that he does not put on his resume
He’s runs the college’s meme page club, is part of the Pokémon Go club, is on the competitive Overwatch team, consistently attends the anime club’s Dragon Ball Z watch parties, joins the Dance Dance Revolution club, and the list goes on and on
When Tim is awake, and Harper isn’t busy, they go with him, but both of them have too much inconsistencies in their schedule to join
He ends up meeting like half the campus
He unintentionally has become a god of networking
Unlike his siblings, he goes all the way for a doctorate
He researches Joker venom, determined to figure out a cure for his parents (in my HC, he eventually does)
He wins like every award imaginable for his groundbreaking research into venoms as he comes up with vaccines that save countless lives
He still works on the meme page, even after he graduates
Harper:
She somehow defies all odds and triple majors in Physics, Mechanical Engineering, and Electrical Engineering
She takes credit overload every semester, and gets credit for her internships at WE
She and Steph were roommates freshman year, and Steph swears that Harper never sleeps
She is the most wanted partner for every engineering project
She thrives in college, and lives off of coffee
She’s in the front row in every lecture
She doesn’t leave the lecture halls, she’s gotten locked in more than once after falling asleep
She had a heart attack the first time she saw students using the machine shop
Half the students weren’t wearing safety glasses, she counted three people wearing slides, the machines were rusted over, the soldering irons were all broken, and she nearly watched someone break their wrist using a power drill
She refuses to work there
Her secret to success is prioritizing - she absorbs the material like a sponge so if homework is only worth 5%, it isn’t getting done, and she’ll just cram before the exam
She almost joined Tim and Duke’s frat (it’s co-ed), but she didn’t have the time
They let her in without rushing senior year because Tim ended up as the boss, and he said so
Cullen:
I don’t know a ton about Cullen, but I feel like he would be a comp sci major
He comes in when Harper, Tim, Duke, and Steph are upperclassmen, and he joins all of Duke’s clubs
They have a million inside jokes
To the other siblings, it seems like the two have their own language
He also joins a club that mentors LGTBQ+ students at the local high school, and encourages them to pursue STEM careers if they’re interested
Jason recruits him as a mentor for the robotics team (he’s the lead mentor at this point) after some of the kids in his mentoring program mention him at a meeting and Jason is like O.O
He avoids parties at all costs, and ends up joining the frat as well
It’s all Duke’s fault he’s in a frat
He does however, meet some lovely boys in the frat
Damian:
Aerospace Engineering/Environmental Engineering dual Major with minors in sustainability and biology
He nearly riots when he’s presented with the college’s idea of a vegetarian/vegan meal
He manages to get out of the meal plan after that, and begins rallying students to push for better options that contain actual protein
He joins a community service club that works with the local animal shelter, and secretly joins the circus arts club (that’s thriving even without Dick there)
He learns how to sew blankets out of old clothes for the animals
He and Barbara are the only siblings to graduate with a 4.0, simply because they were the only one that took the time to actually do all the homework, and remembered to turn things in on time
He refuses to live in the dorms, and instead lives in one of their apartments nearby (once again somehow managing to complain to the college enough to get his housing waived)
He literally walked in once when visiting Duke, and immediately walked out, and resolved never to step near one again
He makes a total of three friends while at the school, both are in the animal shelter club
They exchange vegetarian/vegan recipes, and get together to cook
He decides to move off campus with them his junior year when they needed another roommate, and he won’t admit it to his siblings, but he had a ton of fun
He and his friend group may have joined an animal rights hacktivist group and may have helped orchestrate some major hacks
Poisson Ivy finds out and feeds him targets and information when they’re supposed to be fighting (she just walks back to Arkham if the others aren’t watching, and slips him a list at the end)
Bonus Bruce:
He cries at every graduation
He’s asked to make a speech at every graduation
He never does - it’s about his kids, not him
He single handedly is keeping the school from bankruptcy - not that any of his kids (other than probably Barbara) know
He sobbed for days after Cass graduated
He genuinely didn’t expect Dick or Tim to graduate
After Dick graduated, he wouldn’t let Bruce touch any of the equipment, and the rest of his kids followed suit
He isn’t actually bad at engineering, his education was just super informal, and hey duct tape works 95% of the time in his experience
The real reason Alfred was annoyed was because he refused to take the time to properly fix something if someone was in danger, and then he’d forget that he’d just used duct tape to patch something
But now since no one lets him touch anything, he’s genuinely lost a lot of the knowledge
But in a pinch, he can fix stuff
#tw: drinking#dc#batman#batfam#Bruce Wayne#dick grayson#Barbara Gordon#Jason Todd#cassandra cain#Tim Drake#stephanie brown#duke thomas#harper row#cullen row#Damian Wayne#alfred pennyworth#batgirls#batbros#batkids#this took me far too long to make#look i know this is unrealistic but i can dream
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【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Xia Yan Personal Story 4-2 Translation
Translation Masterlist | Xia Yan Masterlist | Video
Chapter 4: 4-1 / 4-2 / 4-4 / 4-5 / 4-6 / 4-7 / 4-9 / 4-10 / 4-11 / 4-12 / 4-13 / 4-14 / 4-16
Xia Yan’s Home
In the days after, Xia Yan and I worked on collecting information on other corrupt detectives as we waited for Sphinx’s investigation results.
Before heading out today, Xia Yan handed something to me.
Xia Yan: Here, I’ve made a copy of the house key for you.
Xia Yan: We’re always going around together, but having a key is still more convenient.
Xia Yan: Actually, I should’ve given you a copy on the day we reunited.
As he spoke, he handed a silver key to me.
I looked at this key that was identical to his and couldn’t help smiling.
MC: How reminiscent. We always had the same key in the past – even the keychain was the same type.
Xia Yan: Yeah, so I specially made two keychains this time. See if you like them!
Smiling, Xia Yan took out two chibi-styled pendants of me and him.
MC: Whoa, they’re so cute!
I reached out to take the Xia Yan-modeled pendant, but Xia Yan simultaneously handed me the one modeled after me.
MC: ???
Xia Yan: …
Xia Yan looked at me as I reached out for his pendant, looking somewhat hesitant.
Xia Yan: Uh, mine doesn’t really suit you.
MC: …
⊳ How does it not suit me? ⊳ I want yours
MC: How does it not suit me? I’ll definitely treasure it well, is that not fine?
⊳ How does it not suit me? ⊳ I want yours
MC: But I want this one… can’t I?
--
Xia Yan: That’s not what I mean.
Xia Yan: It’s just that you’ll be carrying the keychain at all times, so other people will see it easily…
MC: I don’t mind others seeing… or do you mean that you don’t want others to see?
Xia Yan: How could that be!
Xia Yan: I mean, if you want this keychain, I need to modify it.
MC: Modify? But I feel like this already looks great.
Xia Yan: Not its exterior. I need to add some functions to it.
Xia Yan: Actually, aside from being a keychain, this pendant is also an alarm.
Xia Yan pulled down the keychain based on me, and an alarm quickly resounded throughout the room.
After the display, he fixed the keychain based on me back onto the keychain.
Xia Yan: The decibel count from the alarm on this one is higher than typical alarms, and its battery endurance is also longer. Plus, it’s more durable – it’s water- and fire-resistant for a short period of time.
Xia Yan: I thought that you would want the one based on you, so I only installed an alarm onto that one.
Xia Yan: If you want “me”, I need to make some slight modifications.
MC: Okay, then I’ll leave it up to you, Great Detective Xia!
Xia Yan quickly started working on modifying the keychain alarm.
Right after he had just finished, Sphinx called.
--
Sphinx gave an overview of his investigations for the past several days in the call for us.
According to his investigation, he noticed someone that he suspected to have relations to “Oedipus”.
Xia Yan: You mean that Oedipus might have to do with this “Bedo Loan Company”?
Sphinx: Indeed. For the past few days, I’ve been investigating all the corrupt detectives, including Meng Qishan.
Sphinx: I noticed that Oedipus only had relations of benefit with corrupt detectives after a certain period in time.
Xia Yan: What period in time?
Sphinx: After I faced off with corrupt detective Qian Yi.
Note: What a name… this “Qian Yi” guy’s name literally means Money Benefit (钱益)
Xia Yan: Qian Yi? I don’t think there’s this guy listed among the resigned detectives of Stellis…
Xia Yan looked at me.
Not long ago, Xia Yan organized a list of all the Stellis detectives who had resigned in the past three years, in our search for Sphinx. However, Qian Yi was not among them.
Sphinx: I’m afraid that this is because, not long after my face-off with Qian Yi… he died.
MC: He died?!
Xia Yan: …
Sphinx: According to the police’s death report, Qian Yi died due to cardiac failure, and it was one week after I cut off communication with him.
Sphinx: Right after, Meng Qishan and other corrupt detectives were found and lured by Oedipus to find out about my plan.
Xia Yan: The timeline is indeed quite suspicious.
Sphinx: So, I went to Qian Yi’s house to investigate.
Sphinx: I noticed the same Trojan Horse virus on his computer that was in Tian Xin’s, as well as similar indications of large amounts of data being wiped.
MC: If so, Qian Yi and Oedipus really do have some sort of relationship between them.
MC: Right, Sphinx. Why did you seek out Qian Yi back then?
Sphinx: Qian Yi was a detective in name, but his actions indicated that he was more like an information broker.
Sphinx: He was skilled at using various methods to obtain different kinds of information, to sell them.
Sphinx: Sometimes, he would also use the information he had for extortion and blackmail.
Sphinx: Either he’d directly demand money, or he’d coerce the other party to agree to his requirements.
Sphinx: But his death is likely unrelated to what I found out about him.
Sphinx: I’ve verified with the victims who were harassed by Qian Yi. Up till now, none of them have received any more harassment.
MC: Is that so…
Xia Yan: If it has nothing to do with the victims back then, then the point of suspicion probably has to do with Qian Yi himself.
Xia Yan: As an information broker, his social relations would have been very complicated.
Xia Yan: I’m guessing that Qian Yi might have gotten certain information on Oedipus back then, provoking Oedipus.
Xia Yan: And due to the intersection in timelines, Oedipus thought that you, who was investigating Qian Yi, had already gotten or had a high probably of having gotten information on him.
Xia Yan: Which is why he had to find you, no matter what.
Sphinx: That’s what I was also thinking.
Sphinx: I’ve already investigated the people related to Qian Yi anew. Accept the document I’m sending.
Sphinx soon sent over a document. Xia Yan opened it on the computer.
According to Sphinx’s investigations, Qian Yi had considerably frequent business partnerships with Bedo Loan Company.
Xia Yan: Wait, I remember now. Isn’t “Bedo Loans” that trap loan company that was on the news a few months ago?
The so-called “trap loans” were a sort of criminal act that falsely used the title of “private lending” to commit fraud.
First, the victim would be induced to sign a loan agreement with a low borrowing threshold. After, they would use both gentle and forceful methods to defraud the victim of their money.
Sphinx: Yes. Qian Yi secretly tailed the debtors in these trap loans.
Sphinx: And Bedo Loan Company would violently coerce the debtors when they were unable to repay the money, using the private information Qian Yi had provided to threaten the victims.
MC: That case has already ended. If Qian Yi hadn’t gotten into an accident, he probably would’ve also been convicted, right?
Sphinx: Evidence was insufficient. Qian Yi is proficient with legal clauses and making use of legal loopholes, so he made himself seem completely innocent.
Xia Yan: …
MC: …
Sphinx: Aside from that, I found a person related with Qian Yi. Search up “Ji Xiaoyu”.
Xia Yan searched up this name according to Sphinx’s instructions and soon found a video recording.
--
[Flashback]
Stellis Suburbs
Caution tape surrounded the riverside grass. A woman’s remains, pixelated in the video, were lying on the grass, with blood mottling the area all around.
A rumble of whispers came from the crowd around, saying things like “I heard it was a car accident” and “What a pity, she was so young”.
Young Girl: Sister… sister – sister!!!
A girl hysterically cried “sister”, throwing herself on the body on the ground.
The police forcefully pulled at that girl, trying to persuade her.
Police: Miss, we understand how you feel… but please calm down. We need to do on-scene investigations.
After several minutes of wildly trying to pull out of the police’s grasp, that girl finally slid down to the ground without energy, sobbing bitterly.
Young Girl: It’s all because of me… It’s all because of me that my big sister died…
Lying prostrate, she sobbed for a good while, then suddenly straightened and grabbed onto the uniform of the police officer in front of her.
Young Girl: No, it’s also because of them! They’re all murderers! I beg you, please catch all of them!
She grabbed onto the hem of the police’s uniform, begging piteously, her sobs soundless.
[Flashback end]
--
It was obvious that the video was taken by a bystander – the camera was shaky and the image wasn’t clear enough, but the girl’s weeping made me feel irrepressibly sorrowful.
Sphinx: This girl is Ji Xiaoyu. The deceased is her older sister, Ji Xiaoqing.
As he spoke, he transferred the Ji sisters’ information to us.
The year that the older sister Ji Xiaoqing tested into university, their parents passed due to an accident. Ji Xiaoqing worked as she studied in university, all the meanwhile taking care of her little sister Ji Xiaoyu like a mother.
When little sister Ji Xiaoyu tested into university, she started working as she studied as well, trying to lighten the load on her older sister.
The two sisters had always had a good relationship, until Ji Xiaoyu entered second year, when she fell into the trap of a trap loan due to a desire to buy things.
Sphinx: After the death of older sister Ji Xiaoqing, Ji Xiaoyu came clean to the police about owing money in a trap loan, and thus being harassed and threatened by Bedo Loan Company and Qian Yi multiple times.
Sphinx: At the beginning, she did not dare tell the police or her older sister out of fear of the company. Instead, she desperately worked to return the money, but the amount owed kept growing.
Sphinx: After, Bedo Loan Company faked a court verdict, forcibly seizing the real estate that the sisters’ parents had left behind.
Sphinx: Only then did Ji Xiaoyu’s older sister, Ji Xiaoqing, find out about the full truth.
Sphinx: Ever since then, Ji Xiaoqing became absentminded for a long time and even dropped her job.
Sphinx: The police performed an autopsy on Ji Xiaoqing and noticed that the alcohol concentration in her blood severely exceeded safety standards.
MC: So Ji Xiaoqing might have been using alcohol to forget her woes, then came to the mountain road while drunk and got into the car accident…
Sphinx: That was the police’s conclusion.
As Sphinx spoke, Xia Yan searched up the aftermath reports on this traffic accident case.
Due to issues with the surveillance equipment on that road, no information could be found on the vehicle that caused the accident. The police were currently still offering rewards for anyone who provided information.
And according to Qi Xiaoyu’s accusation, the police filed the case and investigated Qian Yi and Bedo Loan Company.
Bedo Loan Company was shut down for investigation, but due to insufficient evidence, Qian Yi was released after many days of fruitless police investigation.
Xia Yan: One week after Qian Yi’s release, he died unexpectedly due to cardiac arrest.
Sphinx: At the beginning the police suspected that this had to do with Ji Xiaoyu, because she was extremely furious due to the release of Qian Yu and lost control of her emotions.
Sphinx: Though the police investigated this after and found that this was not because of Ji Xiaoyu, I noticed a violation ticket related to Ji Xiaoyu.
Sphinx sent the violation ticket over.
Xia Yan: Illegal carrying of restricted blades… the date of the violation ticket is one day before Qian Yi’s death.
Sphinx: Indeed. I did a little investigating.
Sphinx: The police who gave Ji Xiaoyu the violation ticket was the one who dealt with her sister’s car accident. He sympathized with Ji Xiaoyu greatly and feared that she would take extremes.
Sphinx: So he always secretly kept an eye on Ji Xiaoyu. The day Ji Xiaoyu bought the restricted blade, he noticed.
Sphinx: As a police officer, he had to give Ji Xiaoyu a violation ticket, but he paid the penalty fine himself, and did his best to persuade Ji Xiaoyu after.
Sphinx: When Ji Xiaoyu was suspected of being related to Qian Yi’s death, this police officer testified for her, saying that Ji Xiaoyu did not have the time to commit the crime.
Xia Yan: Even if Ji Xiaoyu has nothing to do with Qian Yi’s death, if she was following him back then, she might have noticed clues.
MC: Then let’s go find Ji Xiaoyu to get an understanding of the situation.
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ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie
okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this.
So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia).
now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love)
So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances.
It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism.
For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening. I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.
Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.
There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation?
This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao.
Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.
Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers.
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Could you go into more detail re: your last post? I've been seeing so many reactions to what Steve did at the end of the movie and would love to hear your take on it because I'm desperate to hear from someone more level headed (and it seems like you definitely are). I've just seen a lot of people upset with/at Steve/Chris and need some reassurance lol. You can keep this private if you want or just make a separate post. Also hi, nice to meet you :)
I have been thinking about this all day, so I would be more than happy to elaborate for you! It’ll be under the cut.
It appears that the general arguments regarding Steve being out of character and not liking his ending is that he struggled for so long to put his past behind him, to find a place in the future with the family and friends he made, and by sending him back it compromised their future as well as Peggy’s and reduced her to simply a woman who stole Cap’s heart as opposed to this formidable force to be reckoned with and one of the founding members of S.H.I.E.L.D.
I don’t see it that way though. If anything, this is a Steve who failed and saw half of the universe snapped due to circumstances beyond his control and more importantly this is the first time we truly see Steve for the human he is, and not just the soldier out of time.
Two constant threads in Steve’s individual arc has been dealing with one never-ending battle after another and his struggle to acclimate to the times he’s in. I don’t mean in an ‘old man deals with newfangled technology’ sense, but Steve’s few years out of the ice pales in comparison to the seventy plus years it’s been for everyone else. Also keep in mind the era in which Steve comes from, because he deals with things internally or not at all (mostly not at all) and a therapy goer the man is not.
In TFA, pre-serum Steve has a myriad of health problems and is known to get into fights frequently. He’s tried several times to get enlisted; longing for that one chance to do something right, to do something good because he doesn’t like bullies and he doesn’t care where they come from. He meets Peggy and she sees the man he is way before he became Captain America. Keep in mind though that between post Project Rebirth and the crash, more time has passed than people tend to think about. Their feelings for one another have deepened, even if they’re not acted upon, which is why their final conversation over the comms is even more heartbreaking. They had something, they knew they had something, and now it was lost seemingly forever. Who could come back from that? Who honestly would want to?
The Avengers finds him a mere two weeks after the man was defrosted, in which he was learning that almost everyone he knew and loved was dead and that the Tesseract he crashed a plane to try and destroy was found and used by SHIELD to create weapons and had to push that into the back of his mind so he could fight aliens in the Battle of New York.
In TWS, he’s still struggling to find his footing between his past and and present. He visits Peggy and is happy that at least she was able to move on and have a life for herself, but every visit is melancholy and ends the same way - she slips out because of her dementia and he has to relive her finding out that he’s real and in front of her every time. I wouldn’t want to wish that experience on anyone, but do you know what that’s like to deal with a person who has that? To think you’re finally getting somewhere with someone for a moment and then the lucidness wears off and suddenly your heart is ripped out of your chest because you’re back at square one? To do that every single time you see them? Sam asking him what makes him happy breaks my heart every single time because he’s never been given the opportunity to figure that out, and once he learns that Hydra, again going with the whole “I crashed my fucking plane into the ocean and this shit is STILL happening” arc, has been entangled with SHIELD from its infancy, he knows the mission to take it down takes precedence over trying to take the time and figure that out for himself. Now, this movie is the Winter Soldier, and there’s Bucky to cover. At this point, Steve knows he doesn’t have much time with Peggy left when he uncovers the identity of The Winter Soldier. These two pillars are the last remaining ties to his past, which is why he tries so hard to try to joggle Bucky’s programming with not fighting back and the “I’m with you til the end of the line”. Steve knows he’s in there, he just had to get him out. He’s successful, and then that jump-starts the search post TWS leading into Age of Ultron and ending in Civil War.
Age of Ultron..is…well, okay it has more problems than anything else however, at this point it’s been three years since he’s been living in the future, and it would make sense that Peggy is still on his mind in Wanda’s dream sequence for him. He confirms it in Endgame for the first time by saying it aloud, but Peggy was the love of his life. It’s normal to dream about lost loves. He’s a man from that older era though, which is why we only have a stolen moment of him trying to remain stoic because he has to be a leader and appear unaffected for the sake of his team and the mission. I really wish the deleted scene where he comes out of the quintet with his coal to see the image of Captain America with the words “Fascist” above spray-painted on a building wall before he throws the helmet back inside was kept in because it shows SO MUCH without saying anything at all. This is where we see that break between who is he and what his superhero persona is supposed to represent. It’s not Captain America who makes Steve Rogers Steve Rogers, it is Steve Rogers who makes Captain America Captain America. And once again, we find him trying to make the sacrifice play if they aren’t successful and can’t get all Sokovian citizens as well as themselves out in time. Now all while this is happening, Sam is still trying to look for Bucky for Steve.
Which brings us to Civil War. Never has that line between his past and present been more apparent because it’s literally the plot to this movie. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Bucky is deprogrammed but broken and more importantly to Steve - alive- and he knows that Bucky has that blood on his hands that Hydra used and abused him into spilling and that’s why if he could just get Tony to see that with these accords the powers at be, along with every country who signs, can dangle their help for political gain like they’re puppets on strings just like he was. Do they need to be put in check? Perhaps, but not by people with an agenda. It’s a dangerous game they’d be playing with no winners which is why Steve doesn’t sign them. And during that meeting with all of them discussing this, Steve learns that Peggy dies so his stake in this fight to preserve the last tether to his past increases tenfold. He’s not just fighting for Bucky, Steve is fighting for himself. By the time he’s dropped that shield, we’re shown that Steve has lost faith in his government, he’s lost faith in his friends, and he’s lost faith in himself.
He’s in Infinity War for six minutes and forty five seconds is screen time so there’s not much content wise to go on, but when we see Steve he is clearly not the man he was and you can tell something is broken inside him, but it’s not explored until Endgame.
I’m just going to focus on Steve’s arc in Endgame because while I really liked most of it, Thor and Natasha deserved better than that so here we go. If you have not watched Endgame, don’t go any further.
Between waking up and immediately having to fight post defrosting and uncovering the truth about SHIELD using the Tesseract to make weapons, Hydra being an entangled part of shield, the events of Civil War, and by the time we see him in Infinity War he’s a shell of whatever former self he was trying to grasp at straws with, and it wasn’t until we had this film that we actually see to what extent that was.
Endgame opens three weeks after the snap, in a time where they’re still desperately clinging to hope with trying to find a way to reverse things. Carol saves Tony and Nebula while he’s on the very brink of death in the Benatar, and tensions between the Steve and Tony are at an all time high. They lost. Everyone. They’re the Avengers, how could they lose?
Time jumps five years. Tony is living on a lake and has a young daughter with Pepper, and Steve has now taken over for Sam in leading group therapy meetings. Joe Russo’s character says he went on a date the night before and that his date cried before the salad and he cried after the dessert and there was nothing they could truly talk about because what could you talk about if half of the universe, including people you knew and loved, vanished in an instant and where you’re borderline living in some version of Lord of the Flies? He offers words of comfort, but he and half the people in that session don’t fully believe them. He lost the love of his life in ‘45 and woke up seventy years later and he hasn’t had a single moment of rest to do so. It weighs on him, on all of them. Natasha is at Avengers HQ still trying to find ways to help, and because of the nature of their work and who they are as individuals they can’t truly move on, him especially. But seeing Tony with his daughter I think was a catalyst of sorts for Steve, even if it didn’t fully register for him at first. One of the themes through Age of Ultron was this notion of “home”, and being an Avenger was something they all pretty much had to put first. Tony got his family, he got his home, and for someone who thought that the man who went into the ice seventy years couldn’t have that himself, there came a small burst of a what if. What if he could have that as well? If it happened for Tony…
Seeing Peggy in 1970, seeing his photo on her desk…that did something to him as well. After all those years, he’s still on her mind just seemingly as much as she’s on his. He gets that moment of seeing her again, and that longing was heartbreaking. Just one more look before he had to go back - something just for him because the mission came first, it always comes first, and he didn’t want to screw anything up so he buries it like he does everything else. Steve’s an intelligent little shit though and we’ll come back to that later.
Now here’s where I also need for you to keep in mind the conversation Banner had with the Ancient One in 2012. The Ancient One is hesitant on giving him the Infinity Stone because it will disrupt the pre-determined timeline, but Banner explains that the past is cemented in time and forever exists to allow for a subject to jump through time. Reality is experiential for individuals, meaning a person’s perception of time is linear, regardless of how they jump around the timeline. In layman’s terms, you travel to the past, that past becomes your future and your former present becomes the past which then cant be changed by the new future.
We’ve always known Steve is worthy of wielding Mjolnir so let’s just skip to the ending now shall we?
At the end, Steve goes alone to return the stones to their proper place in time, but also has become well versed in time travel for someone who’s not Banner or Tony. He sees this as a chance to have something that’s been unattainable to him for so long - to live the life Tony wanted for him. To be happy. To not have to fight for once in his life. So he goes to the right place in while in the quantum realm as to not disrupt the main timeline, and that’s when he doesn’t return we see that he’s become an old man finally at peace, handing Captain America’s shield over to Sam, who more than deserves the mantle, not exactly telling him that he got his happy ending with Peggy, choosing to keep it to himself and yet smiling wistfully all the same.
He never changed anything about Peggy’s future either. SHIELD clearly still exists, and do some people honestly think he wouldn’t give her the choice? If he didn’t think there was a strong enough of a chance or had she turned him down someway he would have respected her and returned to the main present timeline. Nothing changed about that, it was just an alternative path. By going back, Peggy’s life without Steve still exists and that Peggy who gets her reunion with Steve now represents a branch timeline.
I get not everyone liked the ending, I do, but to be fair, just because they didn’t like Steve’s ending because it doesn’t fit what they wanted doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fitting end for Steve. He can rest now. Finally.
#i have a lot of feelings about steve rogers okay#jensenwuvzhugz#becka answers things#a4 spoilers#long post for ts
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dcom daddies: ranked
whats up sluts i’m here to give you the content you did NOT know you needed: a foolproof algorithmic ranking of a mild selection of disney channel dads!
beast (descendants)
hotness scale: extremely tall (over a foot taller than me! this is Very Important to the scale) and he seems to be a mere thread’s width away from Unhinged at all times, which i love. i also think it’s very sexy of him to still have such a monstrous way about himself (what with the roaring and the growling) 20something years post-curse.... makes me wonder very vividly if such energies carry to the b*droom........ *clears throat* 10/10
quality of character scale: it eternally amuses me that beast seems to learn almost Nothing over the course of this trilogy. he’s literally pro-isle the ENTIRE time jsjdndjdjd..... not great considering it puts him directly at odds with his son (and, like, with social progress) but he Does seem to act the way he does with the kingdom’s safety in mind! plus when he’s not accidentally supporting magical fascism he’s super dorky. i love his goofy dance moves 7.5/10
total score: 17.5/20...... with this score alone you can tell this system isnt rigged bc if i had it my way he’d be winning
hades (descendants)
hotness scale: i hate his party city clown wig but i’m a total sucker for guys in makeup (EVEN THOUGH A DECENT SHADE OF LIPSTICK WOULD HAVE BROUGHT HIS ENSEMBLE TOGETHER. WHY DID THEY PROPOSE IT ON THE CHARACTER DESIGN WALL IF THEY WERENT GONNA FOLLOW THROUGH!!!) and i think the fact that hes Very Sleepy and doesnt own a dog makes him my dream guy 9.5/10
quality of character scale: he literally sings a song about how cool he thinks it is that he’s a shitty dad............ but he DOES come through when his kid needs him, so that’s nice i guess. i would have liked to see more of him but i’ll settle for reading and writing intricate fan works that delve into a hypothetical personality for him that’s mainly conjecture 7.25/10
total score: 16.75/20 i wanna see him in some preppy auradon clothes
jafar (descendants)
hotness scale: i wish i had nicer things to say about this man. he just....... bears so little resemblance to the original jafar it makes me :( maybe if he was more gangly, or if he carried himself w the same potent gay energy that og jafar has? itd also help it he wasnt a racist caricature. 4.5/10
quality of character scale: again, very much a racist caricature. jafar doesnt steal!!! why would This be what he chose to do with himself! but he does seem to be, perhaps, the least bad of the core four’s parents, which counts for something i suppose. 3/10
total score: 7.5/20 sorry bud
dr facilier (descendants)
hotness scale: listen. it’s dr facilier. what am i supposed to do, NOT give him a perfect score on the sexy scale? 10/10
quality of character scale: he just loves his daughter and wants to make sure she’s getting what’s hers!!!!! his dynamic with celia makes me really happy they seem so fun! though i guess you could argue it sucks that he’d send his darling babey dohter to do errands for big mean scary hades considering that Everyone on the isle seems to quake at the sight of him. but im sure facilier only does that to ensure that celia can hold her own! 8/10
total score: 18/20 and it’d probably be higher if we’d seen more of him
mr smee (descendants)
hotness scale: not only does this man fuck, judging by the ages of his kids he fucked RECENTLY. get it baby live your truth 7/10
quality of character scale: he seems to be SO kind and sweet to his baby sons..... holding their little hands and such!!! and judging by how nervous the kids are i’d imagine it was primarily smee’s idea for them to go to auradon. extremely noble sacrifice for their benefit even though he’ll miss them 10/10!!!!!
total score: 17/20 i want to kiss his hand, if he’ll have me
zevon necrodopolous (zombies)
hotness scale: every time i look at this man i think of this post. he’s the perfect amount of frumpy for my tastes and his voice is so unique!!!!! i’d let his z-band malfunction so he could *** ** ***** * ******* **** 9/10
quality of character scale: really really cares about his kids and wants them to be safe!! he raises his voice once which im not a huge fan of but i suppose it was justified given the circumstances. also that shot of him goofing about with d*le in the end scene shows remarkable capacity for forgiveness after decades of trauma and discrimination! what a guy. 9/10
total score: 18/20 an absolute dilf!!!!!
dale (zombies)
hotness scale: looks like an uncrustable. 0/10
quality of character scale: a fucking cop. die bitch! 0/10
total score: 0/20 get in since you wanna act clown
coach jack bolton (high school musical)
hotness scale: honestly pretty young for my tastes. and i literally Always swipe left on athletes, so..... fine looking, but not for me. 5/10
quality of character scale: obviously he grows as the series progresses but i feel like jack is Always in the way of troy getting what he wants, which sucks. i like that he’s kinda goofy on his off hours with his family exactly as much as i Hate how much he yells when hes on the job. i do wish we lived in the timeline where he and miss darbus actually had that duet about their disagreements, though. 5/10
total score: 10/20 truly an Average dcom daddy
vance evans (high school musical)
hotness scale: due to personal reasons i will be having bad taste. however, this man’s fashion sense in IMPECCABLE. i mean, the colors??? the unbuttoned collar???? come on now. there is also the gratuitous use of the d-word to consider......................... anyways 7.5/10
quality of character scale: it’s hard to tell how much of his interest in furthering troy’s career is out of sincerity and how much of it is sharpay nudging him. but either way the result is a man who supports his daughter unconditionally! he could be nicer to ryan, though (plus he’s an evil capitalist) 6/10
total score: 13.5/20 i feel like he and fulton have had Relations
mr gifford (lemonade mouth)
hotness scale: listen, i’m a simple guy. i see a basic-looking man pursuing age gap romance in the midst of a mid-life crisis, i support him unconditionally. also i am just Really vibing with that oversized denim shirt on him!!! there’s an egregious amount of arm hair poking out that just works. good for him! and this is a small moment but i’m very flustered over his natural Touchy Feely instinct after wen pokes out his eye... however: man has no eyebrows. 8.5/10
quality of character scale: i’m not a child of divorce so i don’t know how this stuff works, but i feel like he springs a lot of major decisions on wen? not ideal. on the other hand, we DO stan that he has sydney move in before they’re married. this is not a christian home!!!! 6/10
total score: 14.5/20 probably my favorite lemonade mouth dad, but mostly because he’s like the only one paid any attention by the narrative
mr banjaree (lemonade mouth)
hotness scale: men really have beautifully sculpted noses and we just let them, huh. i’m definitely overusing the word Handsome in this list, but in this case? i’m justified. mr banjaree’s beard suits him SO well and his hair looks so soft...... and we love the implicit cleanliness of a man who wears socks in the house! 8/10
quality of character scale: i super SUPER dont agree with this man’s Smothering-Adjacent Methods (and also i know firsthand that strict parentage just drives kids to be more rebellious, lmao) but all things considered he really just wants the best for his family PLUS he’s willing to meet mo halfway at the end! :’) 6/10
total score: 14/20 the way i feel about him is the way i feel when i get crushes on pastors in that You Are Complicit In My Trauma But We’re Gonna Kiss About It way
mr delgado (lemonade mouth)
hotness scale: OOOOH GLASSES! 5/10
quality of character scale: it’s sort of implied that the Wacko Energies of charlie’s family are mostly the fault of his mom so it’s cool of this man to distance himself from that. he is, of course, still complicit in Whatever The Hell Her Deal Is unless he is constantly fighting with her offscreen 6/10
total score: 11/20 would have loved to see more of him
mr yamada (lemonade mouth)
hotness scale: another chapter in the saga of unbuttoned collars! doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to show off his strengths but i appreciate that he is not the thinnest dad in town 6.5/10
quality of character scale: WOW fuck this guy. very dismissive of stella’s aspirations!!!!! i don’t like that he feels the need to talk Over her to her mom when he’s asking about her vegetarianism. dude she is right there.... however it’s a lil touching when he holds her guitar up at the end, so... 4/10?
total score: 10.5/20 *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thi
bob duncan (good luck charlie: it’s christmas!)
hotness scale: in keeping this Specific to the feature-length xmas special, i will say that bob duncan is QUITE handsome! disappointed that he was wearing a shirt in the scene at the pool.... ill bet if this movie came out post-workout/makeover he’d have been shirtless >:/ i feel robbed... spare tummy, sir? spare tummy? additionally i love a man who rolls up his sleeves AND a man who stans kaiju movies!! also i love that he, quite literally, canonically fucks 8.5/10
quality of character scale: he’s about as charmingly incompetent as he is in the show, but the difference here is that he literally did not do a damn thing wrong! all he wanted to do was be civil with his inlaws and he frankly deserves MUCH better. its clear from his banter with the kids that he loves them very much (also i love how frequently he feels the need to jump/dive for things in this movie. silly slapstick icon) 8.75/10
total score: 17.25/20 this man’s mere presence oozes nostalgia
jerry russo (wizards of waverly place: the movie)
hotness scale: this man was MADE for me. the bottomless collection of hawaiian shirts....... the TWO tummy out scenes..........the fucked up evil thing his voice does when the kids try to steal the spellbook!!! he really has it all. also i love that he is truly just trying to have some beach intercourse 9/10
quality of character scale: i love that even when he doesn’t remember the kids he still maintains a little dadly rapport with them? the instincts...... it’s also incredibly good of him to relive his decision to give up his magic without hesitation once he realizes the severity of the situation :’0 10/10
total score: 19/20 i’ve never seen an episode of the show but im really about to start
neil morris (dadnapped)
hotness scale: handsome....... mr morris makes me feel simultaneously like a sapiosexual AND a morosexual because although he completed enough schooling to become a dentist, he also threw it away for a writing career like an absolute champ. also i find it unbelievably charming how Along For The Ride he is about the idea of being kidnapped. a man after my own heart 8.25/10
quality of character scale: this is a tricky one...... neil DOES show active concern for his daughter’s safety when push comes to shove, but he also has my least favorite type of redemption arc: “you THOUGHT i was neglecting you, but actually i was thinking about you the whole time and just never expressed it! we good?” so like. bleh. but he’s pretty mild mannered which i deeply appreciate in a man! 6.5/10
total score: 14.75/20 maybe talk to your daughter instead of writing a macgyver ripoff, dumbass
major joe mason (princess protection program)
hotness scale: prime dad bod, very believable for his line of work. also he has such a Gentle Way about himself when he’s around princesses....... i love all the hand holding when he’s escorting rosie. absolutely my type 8.75/10
quality of character scale: gosh.... where do i even BEGIN!!! his whole dynamic with carter is so ideal... i was apprehensive at first because his job would require him to be Absent a lot of the time, but upon reflection it’s clear that he’s raised carter well enough that he can totally trust her to be on her own, and also she’s only sad to see him go because she sincerely enjoys his company. everything about his profession is so noble and i love the way he can carry himself as casually or as politely as a given situation calls for. worst thing he does is say “i might have to stop calling you ‘pal’” because his daughter is wearing a pretty dress. i wish he was my dad but i’ll settle for him being my husband 9.75/10
total score: 18.5/20 i almost made a ppp self insert this morning specifically for Him
ted thompson (zapped)
hotness scale: athletes arent sexy!! this guy’s face screams The Only Websites I Know How To Use Are Facebook And Reddit and also he’s a dog person BUT he is sporting quite the tumbey if i do say so myself and for that i shall let him live. 4/10
quality of character scale: ok i know the whole point of this movie is Boys Bad but i hate men who are loud and i hate dads who get Weird about the inherent femininity of their daughters. when he calls zoey “sport” and then cringes like he’s made a mistake? dumb and unnecessary. HOWEVER all of his efforts to bond with zoey are really really sincere. like when he fixes her music box? that has NOTHING to do with the app he just Does It!!!! the movey mightve rubbed off on me a little too much but there are multiple ways to show love and just bc im not used to his way doesnt mean it has no worth! 6/10
total score: 10/20 mr thompson sir im sorry i doubted you at the start of the film
rob adams (radio rebel)
hotness scale: this man dresses 5-10 years younger than he looks and i respect that for him. but i was expecting him to be a bit more of a slimeball considering how tara talks about him in the opening scene... and you guys know how much i love slimeballs. regardless, pretty handsome! 6.5/10
quality of character scale: it’s nice that he goes to such a Public and Corporate effort to connect to his stepdaughter! even if it’s in a way that financially benefits him, it’s pretty clear that he cares about this family and wants to do right by them. nothing exceptional, though 7/10
total score: 13.5/20 i GUESS i’d be down to smash if he asked
ralph bartlett (read it and weep)
hotness scale: ok i was gonna say something mean about the fact that he’s balding but honestly he has really nice arms........ in addition he’s really quirky and optimistic which i am going to admire into my grave!! when he gets excited about having customers during the finale his voice quirks with an almost charlie day-esque charm. handsome. ALSO he calls jamie “princess” which is!!!!!!! something 7.5/10
quality of character scale: the way ralph parents his kids is Very 2000s in that he kinda babies his daughter but gets to pal around with his son, but i guess both dynamics come from a place of love and he could be doing much worse. plus he’s an honest hardworking small business owner! i support him 7/10
total score: 14.5/20 i would definitely go out for pizza with him
dr james hartley (how to build a better boy)
hotness scale: THIS. THIS IS WHAT DCOM DADDIES ARE ALL ABOUT. gosh..... this is truly the Most dad ive ever seen in my life. i love how his hair is always mussed..... how he’s so Desperate to relax that he falls asleep after Fifteen Seconds of smooth jazz..... and also. like. hes a scientist?? hello??? pretty sexy of him. i want to give this man the relaxation he deserves 10/10
quality of character scale: ok so,,,...,, kinda fucked up that he lied to his whole family (with the possible exception of his wife—sidenote, WHY did they make dr hartley married? his wife never comes up except when bart says she’s out of town. let him be single so i can slide into those dms) and EXTRA kinda fucked up that he works for the government? what a scab. BUT it’s very very clear that he cares about his kids (and gabby) and prioritizes their safety above all else! also, did you SEE how happy he was when mae won homecoming queen....... he loves her so so so much! :’0 8.5/10
total score: 18.5/20 i thirst tweeted about this man and roger bart replied ‘Aw, thanks!’ so i dont know where to go from here
#my worst post. look at it everybody#descendants#high school musical#disney channel#lemonade mouth#wizards of waverly place#good luck charlie#zombies#princess protection program#read it and weep#zapped#dadnapped#radio rebel#how to build a better boy#the term 'dcom daddy' was coined by poddin this together so nobody's allowed to get mad at me for it. also im right about each of these
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Survey #210
“made of flame, made of mud, i’m the many, i’m the one.”
Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? No. What’s something you’ve experienced that very few others have? Your favorite human on Planet Earth/God Himself noticing you. :') Three days I couldn't sleep. Three. Days. Do you have to wear an identification badge at your job? I don't have a job, yet. Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No. If so, how did it affect the relationship? N/A How often do you paint your nails? Never. Do you know anyone who’s related to a current or former world leader? I'm related to Queen Victoria somehow. Idk about anyone else. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? No job, no taxes yet. What is something you don’t have any natural talent for? Mathematics. Has anyone ever told you that you get too competitive over minor things? No. Do you usually befriend your coworkers, or do you prefer to keep work separate from your personal life? N/A What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? I think Venus. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament. Man, I have a lot. We've accumulated A LOT over the years between me and all my siblings. Mom gets each of us one every year, and she's also kept all the ones we've made throughout school. She's so cute y'all. There is this REALLY damn pretty swirling crystal one with an angel on the top of it I got from my grandmother, that's definitely one of my faves, I've always loved this lil gingerbread dude I made in pre-k, and... idk man, there are truly a lot. What is something you frequently forget? To turn the laundry room light off anytime I go in there at night for Roman's litter scooper or to bring dirty clothes in there. By this point it's like a joke in the house with how much I do it for whatever reason. How do you feel about your body? I hate it. Who is someone you would like to get to know better? Connie, but I respect her privacy. I know you have to be careful online. What’s your opinion on assisted suicide? For it. At what point do you consider a relationship to be ‘long-term?’ Hm, idk, really. A year? What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Mom worked with special ed kids at school, she had a job at the hospital doing computer work I can't remember because I was so young, Dad's been a mailman all my life, but he also worked at Lowe's as a carpenter I think for a while. Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? Mom's got a totally different job, and I already mentioned Dad being a mailman. Do you have any recurring dreams? Themes, yes; dreams, no. Have you ever had to call 911? Why? Yes; Mom and I thought she was having a heart attack. Terrifuckingfying morning. Do you get out a lot? I might as well be on fucking house arrest. I can stay in the house and go nowhere for over a week. Do you eat a lot of vegetables? No. Last fast food you ate? I had a Hardee's biscuit for breakfast. Do you live in Canada? No. What do you think when you see two members of your preferred sex kissing? It's sweet, and brave considering the assholes of the world. Is that hot? "For fuck’s sake… It bothers the hell out of me when people fangirl over homosexual couples. It’s so disrespectful." <<< THIS. Would you ever want to be a chef? No. Bonfires: Y/N? They're fun. What’s a food that’s famous in your hometown/state/country/etc? Southern cooking, like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, hushpuppies, pulled pork, nasty shit like that. By pure coincidence, I literally hate almost all the "traditional" Southern foods. When’s that last time you saw snow? January this year. I think it was January... What’s something that you think will become obsolete in the next 50 years? Physically driving cars, probably. Are you efficient or do you procrastinate a lot? I procrastinate all to hell. Who are the 3 people you love the most? Mom, Sara, and then... idk if I can pick #3. Last person you slept in the same bed with? Sara. When was your first kiss? March 2012. Have you recently been sick? No. What song are you listening to? "Break My Mind" by dAGAMES. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Yeah. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Sadly. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It's worse. Weed, coke, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, opium…How many of these have you tried? I have no clue what like three of these even are lmao. None. How long has it been since you had sex? Like over three years. Who was the last person to call you babe? Probably Sara. Last reason you went to the ER? My sister got in a wreck. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents? I believe so. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It's been many months. My legs are AWFUL, but it is an absolute chore to shave or use Nair because my hair is so long and thick. So I figure if there's very little/no chance someone's going to see my legs, why even do it. I really wanna get laser hair removal on my legs when I can afford it, though. What facial cleanser do you use? A Biore charcoal scrub. If someone wanted to know what you smelt like, what should they smell? I don't know? Probably dogs, lmao? How many purses do you own? One I use, then I have... two or three old ones saved just because I really like them. What are your top five favorite stores to clothes shop? Hot Topic, Rebel's Market, Spencer's, rue21, and... idk. I guess Wal-Mart lmao. What kind of clothes do you mostly wear? Yoga/dance/sweatpants with a tank top, graphic tee, or band tee. What about shoes? Flip flops like, year-round lol. If I do wear something else for whatever reason, it'll probably be my Vans or maybe a pair of Converse. Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? No. For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? Nah, birth control's made cramping a far smaller problem. Last thing you bought at the mall? Wow, I have no idea. Well... maybe a book before the hurricane to read if the power went out? I haven't read it if you're wondering, aha... Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Dad's met her once, but he seemed to enjoy her just fine, and Mom adores her. What store did you last buy clothes from? Wal-Mart. Which parent are you more similar to? I have traits aligning with each of them. I think my mom, but then again, I don't see my dad nearly enough to know his personality deeply since he changed IMMENSELY after the divorce. Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? No. What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? Compassion, wisdom, an open mind, gentle, passionate, a good sense of humor... What smell reminds you of your childhood? Chlorine, I guess. I swam a LOT as a kid; it was my favorite activity. Are you happy with who you are? In some ways, in some ways no. Do you ever sleep with your bedroom windows open? No; we live beside a busy road, and plus I don't trust people. Have you ever had a job where you didn’t fit in with your coworkers? No. What was the last word document you typed? I made a brief outline of the message I'm sending to the client who hired me for her wedding when I send her her pictures. Thanking her and telling her what more I could do for her, stuff like that. What’s something that has upset you lately? The extreme difficulty of finding a job for myself... Do you have a home security system? No, but damn do I want one. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? If you know the darker part of my photography, roadkill. People see it and either think 1.) "poor thing" or 2.) "dumb thing," and that's it. No one seems to truly consider our responsibility to watch for animals on the road; in most instances I've seen, the animal is blamed for being "stupid." No, they're fucking terrified and panicking. Anyway, I'm going on a tangent. Basically, I think we should feel far more pity for what we end, even though it's accidental. And get out of the fucking car to see if it's okay/can be saved. Have you ever gotten sick from someone else’s cooking? I believe so, but I don't really blame the cook. My stomach is just REALLY sensitive to food it's not used to, particularly fancier meals. What was the last kind of cheese you ate? American. How young is too young to be sexually active? "Personally, I think anything under 18." <<< Same. Would you ever dye your hair silver? I wanted to at some point, but particularly with my hairstyle now, idk how good it'd look. What was the last fun thing you did? Shot a wedding. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What’s your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan. Do you know anyone who practices Hinduism? No. How long was your longest relationship? Three and a half years. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? February 2017. What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? Gay rights. What snacks do you like to get at the movie theater? Just popcorn is fine. If I have any candy, it's from a gas station or dollar store. Movie theater prices are expensive as fuck. Have you ever stayed in a hotel in the center of a big city? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? Romaine lettuce for my iguana. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In bed. Do you have any friends you have never gotten into an argument with? Yeah, Connie. Girt and I have also never really had an argument, he's just said things that hurt me as his sense of humor can be a bit harsh and they were sensitive areas, but he's never meant it. Do you think you could survive living by yourself for a month? No. Can you cook anything other then toast? Yeah. How many times have you cried over the last person you cried over? I don’t remember the last person that I cried over. Have you ever been in an on-and-off relationship? So annoying right? No. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? I don’t think so. Have you ever been with someone who was really clingy? Did it annoy you? For only two weeks. I like to pretend that shit never happened. Is there a store you go to so much the employees know your name? The tattoo/piercing parlor I go to know me well; some probably remember my name. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? One literally only talks to me if she wants to ramble endlessly about him. Have you ever helped someone while they were drunk puking? No. There is NO way I could be with someone while they're vomiting. The sound would make me join in, and that's almost a promise. What annoys you more to do, sneeze or cough? Cough. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet cat? I want another snake. Do you fall for all the lines about making guys/girls like you on magazine covers? Lmao yeah right. Do you have a calendar in your room? What’s it’s theme? My door is currently open so I can't see for sure, but I have three or four outdated meerkat calendars as decoration. Have you ever gotten anything racist about you yelled at you? No. Does the last person whose house you were at like anyone? She's married, so obviously. Do you own more pink or black clothes? Just about everything is black. Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a stuffed animal? Yeah. What does the last body wash you used smell like? I think it's some kind of ocean-y scent? I don't pay attention. I just know it's blue. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? A martyr, and not the good kind. Where is your favorite place to eat out? Sonic. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or 'sir?’ No. That's general good manners in the South. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? I don't think so, but maybe? What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. I don't call him my brother, though. Did you partake in senior skip days? HA I sure did. Have you ever read the Christian Bible? Not the entire thing. When the holidays come around, do you help decorate? Yeah. Has someone ever promised not to leave you? NEVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE BELIEVE THAT SHIT. Do you have a part-time job? No. Are you the type of person who likes to buy gifts for your friends? If I had my own money, I absolutely would. Hopefully I can when I have a job... though I don't exactly have many people to send anything to. Have you ever lived in an apartment before? I wasn't an actual resident, though I was pretty much always there. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Are you close to your parents? Yeah. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? For most of my life. Have you ever been responsible for someone’s death? Wow, no. Do you ever spend the night with your significant other? Well, we're long distance. We do when we visit each other. Do you know a lot about serial killers? No. Have the police ever been looking for you? Ha ha yes, but only because my sister, friend, and I went walking on the beach at night, and apparently Mom didn't hear us when we told her we were going... Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you cuss more than any one else you know? Tbh probably lmao. How old is your youngest cousin? I don't know. Do you tend to talk on the phone a lot? No. Have there ever been any serial killers around your hometown? I don't believe so. When was the last time you went to a museum? When my brother and nephew were here early this month. Do you know how to shoot a gun and hit a target? No. What turns you on the most? Don't grab my boobs. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. Do you answer the phones at your work? N/A What’s your ring tone? The Revaleso remix of "Dear Insanity" by Asking Alexandria. The text alert sound is the chime of picking up a gem in Spyro. Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Yeah. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I do literally every night. It sucks. What shows do you watch? None. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. When you were in elementary school, did you change best friends a lot? No. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No. Who was the last person to give you a ride somewhere? My VR counselor drove me home the other day. What’s the scariest bug you’ve ever seen? I'm sure some kind of beetle. Not a fan of beetles. What was your favorite TV show you watched as a kid? Pokemon. :') How many times a day do you tell your parents you love them? Mom, at least once when she leaves for work. Dad, I barely ever see him, so. I don't daily. Ever talk to your pets? Of course I do. I talk to them like I talk to people. Do you think it’s alright if people baby talk to babies? ... Yes???? At a certain age you need to set an example to talk correctly, as the kid is going to copy you, but as a baby, no shit it's fine? Ever take a nap in a hammock? I may have fallen asleep, maybe not. Probably not tho 'cuz I would've been afraid of bugs (the hammock was between two trees directly outside the woods in our backyard), so I've likely just dozed for a bit, if anything. Who’s the best character in Rugrats? Oh boy, I don't remember them all. I know I liked Tommy, but I mean, he was the main character, so I guess that's to be expected for a little kid, mostly seeing him. Ever get caught doing something naughty with your boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Who has had the biggest impact on your life? Jason. Girls: ever wear boxers? Guys: ever wear a thong? No. Do you use q-tips to clean your ears? DON'T DO THAT. I got wax adhered to both eardrums because I did that frequently; it inevitably pushed things back and dried onto them. NOT fun getting it sucked out; hurts like a bitch. Always only use them for the outside of your ears. This has been a PSA. Ever want to make out with someone, anyone, didn’t matter who? No. Ever had your feelings hurt when you knew the person was joking? That is EASY, friendo. Do you make jack-o-lanterns during Halloween? Sometimes. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No. Cats, awesome pets or Satan in disguise? I love cats. When you buy/receive new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? Wash them. Do you hate using public restrooms? VERY MUCH. I will avoid using one at almost all costs. What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? Oh my fucking god. So one night my friend Chelsea and I were up REALLY late and were loopy as fuck and this bitch started looking up weird dildos and shit and I'm not even remotely kidding, she found a huge 50 lb. butt plug. I sincerely wish I was joking. Do you check to make sure there’s TP before using the restroom? Yeah. Do you drunk dial/text? I've never been drunk. Have you ever built a massive snow fort? No. We don't get enough snow here. Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? Not entirely. Do you use acronyms to remember things? I did in school. Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? No. When was the last time you went rollerskating? WOW I don't know, but it's been a long time. Do you call people “dude” a lot? Yes. Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? I was never into them. Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? Out of those, I may ever only squirm at nasty shit. If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? Probably ophthalmology (eye doctors). The last time I went to the eye doctor, I got way too into the science and anatomy of the eyes and such. You woulda thought I saw God when I realized I could see the veins in my eyes during that "lemme shine this light straight into your eyes" tests; I thought it was SO cool. Well, I probably realized this at previous appointments, I just didn't remember. Hm, or maybe a pathologist, that'd be cool. I'm looking through a list of doctors, yes. What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? Probably just "I love you" and stuff like that from my niece and nephew. Ha ha aw, wait... When my brother and older nephew were here, Christian exclaimed, "She's up!", like the MOMENT I moved in bed one morning. I'm so happy to say that kid loves me. He wore me the HELL out in the course of just three days, but man, I miss the lil dude now. That occasion in particular just really sticks out to me because I do not find myself good with kids, and to just hear how excited he was that I was up meant the world to me. Apparently I was fun enough. At what age do you plan on moving out? I hope in like... two more years, maybe less. I need a stable job, a car, but I also DO NOT want to live alone, so I'd want to wait until Sara was ready to move, too. I'm beyond thankful Mom isn't rushing me in the least, she seems happy I live here actually, but I don't want to be in her hair much longer nonetheless. I have to be an adult. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? King Ramses from Courage the Cowardly Dog fuck-ing TERRIFIED me. His animation was unique to what was normal in the show, so that automatically stood out as different and weird, but more than anything, I was just so scared by his voice and repetitive lines. I had nightmares of that shitlord. HA HA OH MAN I REMEMBER THIS TOO: When I visited my aunt and uncle's when I was little, my family slept on the floor in a room downstairs, and there were small trees outside the window that would sway, and the outline on the curtains would make me think of him. I remember waking Mom up one night about it, and I think she gave me something for comfort, but idr what. What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? In my very own fucking state, consent can no longer legally be revoked when sex begins. Fuck this place. How long does it take before you trust a person? It depends on the person. It's usually a while, though. Have you ever made a time capsule? What did you put in it? Hm... I feel like I have? Wait yeah, I did in elementary school! It was a class effort. Idr where it was buried. What would you do if your mom or dad read your diary/journal/blog? My mother would be deeply concerned that my love of Mark runs as deep as it does, meanwhile my dad would be v v v confused. They would mutually be very worried of their daughter's willingness to eradicate the fools of the population and replace them all with miniature Fischfucks. Do you know anyone with a lisp? I may? I don't exactly have a lisp, but in certain words, I pronounce "s" weakly due to my tongue piercing getting in the way, but it's very mild. If you were to break a Guinness Record, which one would you try and beat? Idk. What’s the coolest item in your room? I'm not sure, I find a lot of things in here particularly cool for various reasons. Hence why it's so heavily decorated. I guess my favorite is probably the Japanese, limited edition Silent Hill: Revelation flyer I have framed on the wall. I won it in a giveaway and I love it alskdjfklajwer. I wanna collect more SH merch, man. Are you accident-prone? Yes, due to my own lack of common sense and clumsy nature. As a kid, what was your favorite activity on the playground? I BOLTED for that swing. Are huge muscles gross or sexy? I'm not a fan of extreme muscles. Have you ever fished and caught something weird? Phew, I grew up fishing all the time with Dad. I'm certain I have. Well, I caught a catfish by the eye, but only the method's weird there, lol. I still to this day feel so bad for the fella. Is old age catching up with you? In my back and knees lmao. Can you sleep through thunderstorms? Yes. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yes. Do people confide in you? Some do. Ever been around someone who makes you feel stupid? He doesn't intend to, he's just reeeaaally fucking smart. Actually, that goes for my brother, too. I knew he was very intelligent, but holy shit, when he was here last and I actually got to hear more about him, his beliefs, and general knowledge, dude's a genius. How many college degrees do you want? Either up to Bachelor's or Master's. For my career goal of being an out-in-the-field zoologist, I need the latter. Do you like animals? SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yes; my high school senior project was at least one. There's other personal stories I wrote as a kid, too. Can you snap your fingers? Yes. Can you wink? My right eye, yes. I can with my left eye, but not without my face distorting pretty badly. What song explains how you feel about love? *shrugs* Does hardship make a person stronger? It depends on what they take from it. What comes to mind when you think of pregnancy? Ew please never. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey games with Dad. What is your favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one. Which do you value more, intellect or work ethic? Work ethic. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, I live with my mom, who I've lived with my whole life, and we're very close, if that answers the question. Do you have any heroes? *blinks* Ever been to a cabin on a mountain? No, I wish. Ever lost your voice? At least once. Are you a cautious person? Yes. Meet Anxiety, baby. Do you enjoy comedy shows? Yeah. Do you chew gum? Sometimes, rarely. Do you think a lot when taking a shower? Not really. I just enjoy whatever music I have on. Are you currently charging your phone? No. Do you ever get razor rash? No. Are you a private person? It depends on the subject. If you straighten your hair, do you always use hair spray? N/A Do you curl your hair often? It's too short to be curled. What’s the earliest you’ve ever woken up for school? Idk. Probably around 5:00-5:30 if I was getting ready for a special day or something. Can you get ready in under 10 minutes? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that you were a bad kisser? No. Do you like Frostys from Wendy’s? Hell yeah. Would you ever sleep in the same bed as your sibling? Sure, if we had no other choice. Ever taken a shower with someone? My little sister and I did all the time as kids, I'm guessing to save water. Would you consider yourself to be a creative person? Yes. Do you usually take a nap during the day? Yes, usually. Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? HELL YEAH!!!!!! So long I have my camera and company, that'd be awesome!!! Do you suffer from frequent paranoia? Eh, not as badly as I used to. Two friends whom have been there for you the most? Sara and Girt. If you/your gf became pregnant accidentally, would you consider abortion? If it was my own fault for not using protection, I couldn't do it; then that's my own foolishness. I would regardless if my life was endangered, though. I do believe abortion is killing a living being once brain activity begins, but I believe in the right to put yourself first. If a complete stranger picked a fight with you, would you fight or flight? Flight if possible. Defend myself when necessary. Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? House pet, so long as my owner is a good one that truly loves me. Wild animal would be much more dangerous, and besides, I like the idea of companionship. Can you juggle more than two objects at once? lol I probably couldn't even juggle two. Can you function well on little to no sleep? Eh. I'm cranky for sure, but I can function. Well... depending. If I am REALLY tired, I won't be able to keep my eyes open. Do you find that it is difficult to maintain your mood? Even on medication, I'm still bipolar (not using that as an adjective; I'm legitimately diagnosed with it). My mood can change VERY quickly with tiny stimuli, but at a much, much milder degree. Have you ever listened to a group of chanting Monks? (if not you should) No, but it's cool! Two sports that you are horrible at? Tennis and volleyball. The latter mostly just hurts like a bitch. One thing that you would like to change about your life? My job situation. What was the last candy you ate? Sour gummy worms. Which decade was your favorite for fashion trends? Idk. I'm really not educated enough on what was trendy for each one. Do you like the current fashion trends? I pay no attention. Who is the strangest (or one of the strangest) person you’ve met? I won't give away his name as it's a pretty unique one, but there was a kid in high school who was certainly different in both good and bad ways. He was pretty unstable. Made his own religion. What are you struggling with currently? Finding a mfckn job. Do you forgive yourself for your mistakes? Most, I'd say. Have you ever been abused by a police officer? No. Name one friend who had a parent who was in jail. A cousin of mine. Has anyone tried to kill you and then played the victim? No? What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship and Scrabble. Can you remember the last time you played a board game? A few months back with Sara and Girt. Actually Scrabble, lol. List three traumatic memories you have. The only truly traumatic memory I have is the breakup. Well, I guess a nightmare I had with my dad kinda is too, seeing as it still affects my trust today? Have you ever been misdiagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. How the fuck did I have ADHD, woman. If you don’t mind my asking, when was the last time you had diarrhea? Like about two weeks ago before my period started. That's starting to seem like a theme. Do you prefer sunny days or cloudy days? I like partly cloudy. Do you have a painful past? A good chunk of it. But I mean, who doesn't have some rough paths behind them. What was the best time of your life? Walking through Chicago with Sara and her dad one night was INCREDIBLE. Coming from the middle of nowhere into such a colossal city with all these lights and such was such a shock to me, and exploring it with them was super cool. It was cold as fuck, but still, it was fun. When was the last time you were hugged? Idk. Well, probably last time I was at Ashley's saying bye to everyone. Do you trust your doctor? Yes. Name something God has healed you of. HAHAHAHA. If applicable, how old were you when you got "saved?" I was raised into religion, so I don't know. I grew up "saved." Have you been baptized, and if so, where? Yes, at my childhood church.
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Reflection on Gaiman and Neverwhere
Quotes:
1) The night before he went to London, Richard Mayhew was not enjoying himself.
I can relate. The night before traveling anywhere is never fun. You are sick with anticipation and anxiety. What if you forget something? What if you oversleep? Etc., ad nauseam. Richard is not enjoying himself because all of his insecurities and uncertainties are rearing their heads, and that is perfectly understandable. When you’re about to go haring off into the unknown, you want a solid foundation somewhere behind you (figuratively) and beneath your feet (figuratively and literally).
2) When he had first arrived, he had found London huge, odd, fundamentally incomprehensible, with only the Tube map, that elegant multicolored topographical display of underground railway lines and stations that, giving it any semblance of order. Gradually he realized that the Tube map was a handy fiction that made life easier, but bore no resemblance to the reality of the shape of the city above: like belonging to a political party, he thought once, proudly, and then, having tried to explain the resemblance between the Tube map and politics, at a party, to a cluster of bewildered strangers, he had decided in the future to leave political comment to others.
3) Until that moment, she had never thought she could do it. Never thought she would be brave enough, or scared enough, or desperate enough to dare.
4) “It was very sudden,” said Jessica, wistfully, under her breath.
5) “We’re not going to get very far if you keep repeating I say, now, are we?” said the Marquis, who was now standing in front of Richard.
6) Even when the Marquis was at rest, his eyes never ceased moving. Up, down, around, as if he were looking for something, thinking about something. Adding, subtracting, evaluating. Richard wondered whether the man was quite sane.
7) As a child, Richard had had nightmares in which he simply wasn’t there, in which, no matter how much noise he made, no matter what he did, nobody ever noticed him at all. He began to feel like that now, as people pushed in front of him; he was buffeted by the crowd, pushed this way and that by commuters getting off, by others getting on.
8) Mr. Croup turned out the lights. “Oh, Mister Vandemar,” he said, enjoying the sound of the words, as he enjoyed the sound of all words, “if you cut us, do we not bleed?”
Mr. Vandemar pondered this for a moment, in the dark. Then he said, perfectly accurately, “No.”
9) “Thanks,” Richard looked at the woman in leather. “Is there anything, really, to be scared of?”
“Only the night on the bridge,” she said.
“The kind in armor?”
“The kind that comes when day is over.”
10) “Darkness is happening,” said the leather woman, very quietly. “Night is happening. All the nightmares that have come out when the sun goes down, since the cave times, when we huddled together in fear for safety and for warmth, are happening. Now,” she told them, “now is the time to be afraid of the dark.”
11) Its face was pale and wise, and gentle; and perhaps, a little lonely.
12) The train was coming toward him, its headlights shining out from the tunnel like the eyes of a monstrous dragon in a childhood nightmare. And he understood then just how little effort it would take to make the pain stop—to take all the pain he ever had had, all the pain he ever would have, and make it all go away forever and ever.
13) I am so far out of my depth that … Metaphors failed him, then. He had gone beyond the world of metaphor and simile, into the place of things that are, and it was changing him.
14) The Marquis sighed. “Get back over here, and we’ll figure out something.”
Richard said, quietly, “Too late.”
15) She had forgotten them all; forgotten Richard down in the mud, and the Marquis and his foolish crossbow, and the world. She was delighted and transported, in a perfect place, the world she lived for.
16) “We don’t lie,” said Mr. Croup, affronted.
“Do,” said Mr. Vandemar.
Mr. Croup ran a grimy hand through his filthy orange hair, in exasperation. “Indeed we do. But not this time.”
17) The Marquis de Carabas watched the sleeping children. The idea of sleep—of returning, even for a short time, to a state so horribly close to death—scared him more than he would have ever believed. But, eventually, even he put his head down on his arm, and closed his eyes.
And then there were none.
18) The Marquis raised an eyebrow. “What do you think she is—the Wizard of Oz? We can’t send you home. This is your home.”
19) The growling was the roar of traffic, and he was coming out an underpass in Trafalgar Square. The sky was the perfect untroubled blue of a television screen, tuned to a dead channel.
20) The Marquis de Carabas raised an eyebrow. “Well?” he said, irritably. “Are you coming?”
Richard stared at him for a heartbeat.
Then Richard nodded, without trusting himself to speak, and stood up. And they walked away together through the hole in the wall, back into the darkness, leaving nothing behind them; not even the doorway.
Reflection:
I have never really been a fan of Neil Gaiman—although I acknowledge that he is a pillar of the writing community as an author in the field and just a supreme writer. I admire him and what he’s done for fantasy writing, even if some of his writing reminds me of Grimm’s fairy tales, the originals. I do like his writing style; he has a way with words and the detail is incredible. Plus, he’s as creative and edgy a writer as can be. Maybe there was a time when he seemed incomprehensible to me, but I find myself enjoying dark fantasy—his specialty—more and more. I really liked his book Coraline, and I have been meaning to read American Gods. I feel like I did not give him a fair chance in years past, and there were parts of Neverwhere that I really enjoyed.
I have been re-reading Neverwhere since we arrived in London. Knowing some of the places that Gaiman frequently references puts the novel in a new perspective. The first time around, I did not know the difference between Harrod’s and Islington. I had to look them up, but even that does not compare to reading a London setting in the city of London. I didn’t get sucked into the book the way I usually prefer to; however, Gaiman’s writing style as ever keeps you curious and engaged. I found Richard a difficult character to like at first—until he started seeming more alive. That part was ironic: he seemed more alive when he was “dead” to the Upworld than he had when among the “living.” His reactions seem more genuine after he’s been pushed out of his mind-numbing comfort zone. My favorite character for at least the first half of the book was the Marquis de Carabas. He’s diabolical and reprehensible, but he cunning, sarcastic, and gets things done. To me, the characters are just as important as the plot. Unlikeable characters does not give me any enjoyment. In this case, some of the characters grew on me, like Richard and Door. I never liked Jessica. The plot was a series of shifting viewpoints, and I liked getting both the villain’s perspective and the protagonist’s perspective.
I might write another reflection entry later comparing Neverwhere with The Graveyard Book. For this reflection, I wanted to dwell on some of the characteristics of Gaiman’s Neverwhere that I most enjoyed.
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Kinktober Day Fifteen | Uniforms | my heart’s the only thing i’m hearing; beatin in and out of rhythm | Shaw x Raven | The 100
Words: 3634
Tags: Uniforms, Modern AU, Bathroom sex, Wall sex
Note that this is a kinktober prompt fill. It will be explicit smut, and quite likely, kinky. Mind the tags.
This isn’t really that focused on the uniforms aspect tbh, sorry!
ao3
“Clarke Griffin,” Raven takes Clarke’s hands in hers and looks deep into her eyes, with total heartfelt sincerity, “I love you.”
“Is that a thank you?” Clarke asks, smiling and shaking her head slightly at Raven’s antics.
“Look around, Clarke, you made me your plus one to literal heaven,” Raven releases Clarke’s hands to sling her arm around the blonde’s shoulders, walking them into the ballroom. “Yes, that’s a thank you.”
The ballroom in question is full of people in gorgeous evening wear, moving about the way that only the very politically powerful do, with a sort of lazy air. They only make up half the population, however, the other fifty percent being soldiers. Decorated military men and women, in their oh so shiny formal uniforms, standing a bit more stiff than the rest. That’s the real reason why Raven had shimmied her way into a bright red dress tonight; ogling people in uniform is a hobby of hers.
“You never would have forgiven me if I hadn’t invited you,” Clarke points out, and Raven laughs.
“Correct.”
“You want me to introduce you to anyone?” Clarke offers.
Raven looks around the room before shaking her head, “No, I’m happy observing from afar for now. But you go do your thing, girl.”
Clarke rolls her eyes with a little smile, but takes her leave at that. She’ll be gone for a while, Raven knows. It’s not the first time she’s been a plus one, she’s used to the drill of Clarke going off to make her rounds of the well-to-do at these events. Clarke’s mom, the current mayor of their town, thinks Clarke is doing her duty as poster child of the campaign, but Raven knows better; Clarke’s already maneuvering for her mom’s seat, and has been for years.
Raven makes her way around the edge of the room slowly, simply feasting her eyes on the beauty arrayed about her. Everyone is physically flawless, of course, and the muscular men and women in uniform are so impossibly good looking that Raven would happily cut her own arm off if they asked her. Well, maybe not happily, but she certainly wouldn’t hesitate. She’s always had a thing for uniforms, but who doesn’t really? The power they imply, the crisp lines and attention to detail in maintaining them, it’s alluring.
Raven smiles at a few people as she meets their eye, but she doesn’t approach anyone. Later in the night, after everyone has got their major agendas out of the way and Clarke rejoins her, she’ll make small talk. Right now, she knows very well she’d only be taking up valuable political time from people far more important than her. Well, maybe not more important, but certainly… shinier.
Raven eyes a few officers, deciding who she might snag a dance with once the greetings give way to more general festivities and the drinks begin to flow. There are a few non-officers as well, in more subdued outfits, but they fail to catch Raven’s eye simply because there’s too much else going on for her to notice anyone not bedecked in gold, silver, and bronze. Raven smiles to herself, imagining being swept up in the arms of a stern, dark haired woman with biceps of steel hidden beneath her starched tunic.
Raven knows from past experience that galas are good fun once the enormously boring people have left, usually retiring quite early in the evening. Clarke, of course, needs to talk with those boring people, which means they got there super early and Raven has to pass the time in some way. And as fun as people watching is, the ballroom is a little too crowded for comfort. Raven finds herself trying to use her hand as a fan, and figures that she might as well wait out the meet and greets outside.
Luckily for her, there are several doors around the ballroom that lead to a large, stone balcony, overlooking what she imagines is a lovely garden in the daytime. As Raven steps outside, immediately blessed by a refreshing breeze, the rows of bushes and flowers are only vague shapes illuminated by the moon and the lights of the party within.
Raven walks over to the stone balustrade and leans her forearms on it, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. The wind carries the scent of manicured flowers to her, a very carefully pleasant smell. It’s soothing, and Raven can’t help but smile, letting herself get lost in the calm, cool of the night.
“Tired of the party already?” A voice breaks through Raven’s reverie, and she opens her eyes, turning her head to look at the man standing next to her.
He’s a soldier too, but he doesn’t look as polished as those inside. His uniform is more functional; still clean and pressed, but not glittering with medals. Raven is glad for the cool night air, because his uniform makes him seem much more attainable than the high and mighty inside, and she’s hate to be blushing and panting over him like some fool. Well, actually, she might not hate it that much, as he smiles at her. He has an exceptional smile, a small quirk of the lips but it makes Raven’s heart flutter.
“Just getting some fresh air. You?” Raven is proud that she manages to stay composed, smiling back at him and tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
“Not exactly my scene.” He shrugs and leans on the railing next to Raven, reaching a hand over and holding it out to her, “I’m Shaw, by the way.”
“Raven.” Raven takes his hand, which is warm and dry. The simple contact sends a light electric current through her, a lovely tingle. “Well tell me this, Shaw. If it’s not your scene, why are you here?”
“Orders. Apparently it just wouldn’t do for me to stay back on base, all ‘distinguished personnel’ were required to attend.” Shaw marks the quotes in the air with quirked fingers. “Sometimes it’s enough to make me wish I were lazier.”
He sighs so dramatically that Raven can’t help but laugh. Oh, she knows the feeling all too well; being so good at doing your own work that you get assigned to help others, too. Congratulations on doing a good job, now do some more.
“Distinguished personnel, huh?” Raven turns around, propping her elbows up on the railing and leaning her back against it. She curves a brow with a smile, “Is that supposed to impress me?”
Shaw chuckles, dropping his head towards his hands for a moment before looking up at her with a gaze that makes her heart melt and her pulse race, “Maybe I was hoping it would.”
“Let’s see, what response would you want? Something like ‘Oh, handsome soldier man, tell me all the stories of your victories! Better than that, take me now!’” Raven puts on a ludicrous voice and fans herself with a hand. She could have just smiled and played it safe, and probably gotten a date, but that would break rule number one of being Raven Reyes; never sleep with anyone who doesn’t get your humour, no matter how attractive they are.
Shaw laughs again, which is a definite point in his favour. Not that he really needs more points, but still, it serves to make him even more interesting.
“You think I’m handsome?” Shaw asks with false innocence, and Raven lightly smacks his shoulder.
“Like you don’t know exactly how hot you are.” She shakes her head, but she’s smiling the whole time, because it’s hard not to when someone’s looking at her the way Shaw is right now.
“And if I said I didn’t, would you tell me?” Shaw turns to face Raven, leaning on one elbow. She has to look away, just for a moment as her heart skips a beat and she feels heat flood her cheeks. He’s playing her game, and he’s winning.
“Now why should I do that? I don’t even know you, sir.” Raven plays at being offended.
“You’re right,” Shaw nods solemnly, but when Raven meets his eyes again, he has another little smile curving his lips, “Maybe you’d like it better if I told you how beautiful you are?”
Raven chokes on the breath she’d been taking, and yeah, she’s definitely blushing now. It’s not her fault, not at all, this guy is good. Damn good.
“This your play with all the girls?” She asks, because of course someone as handsome as him and as good with words has to be a player. Aren’t most military men, just by something in their nature? Not that Raven has an issue with that, mind you. She enjoys new partners frequently enough that she’d have to be a huge hypocrite to complain.
“Nah, normally I get them with the ‘distinguished’ line, remember?” Shaw jokes, but then he becomes serious in a heartbeat, “Honestly, though, playing girls isn’t my thing. I just saw you and…”
He trails off, dropping Raven’s gaze and scratching the back of his neck. It’s awkward and so incredibly adorable, Raven melts. If this is his game, he’s an absolute legend. Raven buys every word of it, and she’s pretty good at smelling bullshit most of the time.
“And?” She prompts, unreasonably eager to hear the next part of that sentence.
“You’re one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I’d let you get away without at least introducing myself,” Shaw says, voice entirely sincere. Raven’s heart flutters, and that is just not fair. It’s not right for him to say things like that, looking the way that he does.
“Is that all you want, then? To introduce yourself?” Raven asks, turning and mirroring his pose with a wicked smile, “Or is there something else?”
She puts her hand on his forearm, caressing the deep blue tunic. Air force blue. Raven always figured if she ever enlisted, that’s where she would end up, too. Except for her heart condition meant she’d never be a fighter pilot, and she couldn’t join up if that was off the table. She wonders, vaguely, what Shaw’s role is, but she figures that might be a bit impolite to ask.
Shaw raises his hand and brushes a knuckle against her jaw, tracing the line of it. “There might be one other thing I want.”
“Just one?” Raven prompts. Oh, she can think of about a million things she wants right now, and she feels herself growing wet with desire.
“One or two.” Shaw smiles, and it’s like looking at the night sky. Impossible, incredible, everything Raven wants to touch. But this isn’t out of her reach, this is right here, on Earth.
It’s hard to tell who moves first, her or Shaw, but they meet halfway in a kiss that’s so tender it hurts. Raven can tell by the way he touches her that he wasn’t lying. There’s nothing possessive about the kiss, or flashy; it’s a slow drag of their lips together, his hand so gently cradling the back of her neck, their breath mingling as one. It’s reverant, an act of worship or deep, heartfelt appreciation.
When they pull apart after a few long, delicious moments, both of them breathe heavier. Shaw smiles, and Raven is helpless but to return the gesture, warmth glowing in her chest. She shouldn’t feel this much, not this fast, but something about him is incredible. She’s drawn to it, to him, and she doesn’t even mind.
Shaw drops his hand from her neck to take her own in his grasp. He raises it to his mouth, brushing his lips against the back of her knuckles, and that has to be illegal. Raven has done some crazy things with some fantastic people, and none of it has shaken her near as much as that cheesy as hell gesture does. She thinks she might die happy, right there, but the ache between her thighs encourages her to live at least a little bit longer.
“Do you,” Shaw clears his throat and licks his lips, which is distracting as all hell, “want to dance?”
“Not particularly,” Raven replies honestly. Shaw looks mildly hurt for a moment, but she grabs the lapels of his tunic, pulling him closer to her. “I’ve got a little something else in mind.”
She pulls him to her for a far less gentle kiss, catching his lower lip between her teeth. She doesn’t bite it hard, just drags her teeth over the sensitive flesh until she hears Shaw’s breath hitch. His hands go to her hips, still careful, but definitely interested, and Raven arches into him. Thank god he’s not a prude, she’s not sure what she would have done if he’d respectfully told her to fuck off with her impure intentions.
Raven breaks away from his lips, much as it pains her to do so, reminding herself that they’re just on a balcony and anyone could come out at any point. Not that she cares about being caught like horny teenagers, but if she does anything too embarrassing, it might end up hurting Clarke’s position, and she won’t risk that. So Raven rests her forehead against Shaw’s, breathing heavily in the scant air between them.
“So what do you think?” She asks, and Shaw simply nods slightly in response, wordless assent. Raven licks her lips, desire coursing through her, and grabs his hand.
It only takes Raven a few minutes to find what she’s looking for, trailing Shaw behind her through the vast, primarily empty venue. The organizers of this fete had rented out the whole building, but most of the partygoers are in the central ballroom and surrounding area, which works perfectly for what Raven wants. She manages to find the furthest restroom from the gala possible, and all without pushing Shaw against a wall and mounting him in a hallway, too. Really, her self-restraint is incredible.
As soon as the door shuts behind them, Raven locks it, and then she finds herself crowded against a wall by Shaw. A thrill runs through her at his action, as he kisses her again, deep and thorough. His hands go back to her hips, but this time they slide around to her back, pulling her tight to him. Raven moans lightly into the kiss, and Shaw breaks away from her lips to trail kisses along her jaw.
Raven runs her hands up his chest, over the singular medal on his chest for whatever distinguished things he had done. They ought to have given it to him for kissing, Raven thinks, as he captures her lips once more. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, feeling lightheaded as Shaw slides his hands over her ass and further down, caressing the sides of her thighs.
“Shit,” Raven breaks away, panting slightly as Shaw’s finger tease under the hem of her cocktail length dress. It sends delightful flames racing through her, and a new flood of arousal between her thighs, but Raven bites her lip, feeling incredibly stupid, “I don’t have a condom.”
“Left pocket,” Shaw responds, and Raven’s brow furrows as she reaches into the pocket he’d indicated. She feels a familiar foil wrapping, and pulls out a condom with a wry grin.
“Not a player, huh?” Raven wags it at him in mock admonishment.
“No, it’s- the guys, they-” Shaw flounders, and Raven laughs lightly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips once more.
“It’s all good, I’m only teasing. Honestly, I’d be devastated if you didn’t have one,” she admits.
“Really?” Shaw asks, and Raven grins, hitching a leg up over his hip, using her ankle to pull his hips flush with hers. Her eyes flutter at the feeling of his hardness, separated from where she wants him so badly by only a few layers of fabric.
“God yes. There’s no way I could walk away from this, not now.”
Shaw’s hand goes to the underside of her thigh, holding her in place, and he rolls his hips against her, hard friction that draws another moan from Raven. She bites her lip again, only to have Shaw pull it from between her teeth with his thumb.
“You sound incredible,” he almost whispers, brushing her lip, and Raven can’t help the heat that rushes to her cheeks. The feeling of him holding her, of his erection pressing against her, of her own wetness, that’s all perfectly lovely. But that pure tenderness? Raven is entirely unprepared for that.
Raven whimpers as he drops that hand back to her hip and slides it around in order to squeeze at her rear. She rocks against him, against that hardness she craves with a deep, all abiding hunger. She wants to get her hands on his skin, but she also is really liking the sight of him in full uniform rutting against her.
Shaw kisses her neck, and Raven melts in his grasp, sighing happily. A part of her wants to stay like this forever, but she needs more. Raven sneaks her hands between them, fumbling with Shaw’s belt.
“Shit, Raven,” Shaw mutters the expletive under his breath as she conquers the belt and makes short work of his fly, freeing his erection. She strokes him a few times, sizing him up and satisfying that urge to get more skin on skin contact. He feels incredible in her grasp, thick and heavy, and the way his breath stutters is like the finest melody Raven’s ever heard.
“Shaw, I need you,” Raven leans in to whisper her demand in his ear, and Shaw races to oblige. He tears open the condom pack as soon as Raven hands it to him, sheathing himself in latex.
As he does so, Raven hikes her dress up just a bit further, and pulls her panties to the side. She doesn’t want to uncurl her leg from around his waist long enough to remove them entirely, and Shaw doesn’t seem to mind. He lines himself up at her entrance, where Raven aches, throbbing in time with the beating of her heart.
“You’re sure?” Shaw asks. So sweet, so considerate, and so incredibly silly.
Raven answers by way of kissing him and pulling him into her with her heel locked behind his thigh. Shaw groans against her lips as her sinks into her, and Raven’s breath catches. He stretches her with just a touch of burning, and it’s exactly what she needed. She breaks away from his lips to gasp desperately as he bottoms out within her, filling her completely.
“God, Raven, you feel so fucking good,” Shaw mutters, kissing the delicate skin just behind her ear.
“You’re not bad yourself,” Raven retorts breathily.
Shaw chuckles, kissing her neck once again before he begins to move. And if him filling her had felt good, him thrusting feels goddamn heavenly. Raven isn’t ashamed of the noises she makes in the slightest, needy as he rocks through her. The small room fills with the sounds of their sex; slick slide of flesh, her desperate moans, and Shaw’s wrecked grunts and groans.
Pleasure courses through Raven, and Shaw hitches her leg higher on his hip, thrusting in even deeper. She can barely support her weight on the one leg, but Shaw’s grip is incredibly strong, and the new angle feels so fucking good. With each thrust, sparks fly from her cunt to her gut, adding fuel to the fire there. Raven gasps, fingers digging into his shoulders as she holds on for dear life.
“So gorgeous,” Shaw whispers in a tone that seems entirely involuntary. It destroys Raven in the most exceptional way, the unabashed praise as he pounds into her again and again, hard enough to jolt her body each time.
“Please,” Raven begs, pleasure building, end just out of reach, “Just a little more.”
She doesn’t care about the pathetic tone of her whimpers, because Shaw nods, breathing heavy, and he obliges. He hikes up Raven’s other leg, bodily lifting her and holding her up in a devastating display of strength. It’s only his hands on her thighs and her back against the wall keeping her up, and it makes Raven clench around him involuntarily. The tension in her body combined with the deep angle is phenomenal, and Raven feels her orgasm cresting in record time.
“Oh god, Shaw!” Raven calls his name as she climaxes, clenching even harder around him as waves of pleasure crash over her. It’s one of the most intense orgasms of her life, and Raven’s pretty sure she forgets how to breathe about halfway through.
Shaw continues to fuck her through it, but he only last a few more thrusts after she comes down from her high. His hips stutter against her and he moans, hot and heavy against her neck. His fingers flex on the meat of her thighs, and Raven is definitely going to remember the sound of him cumming when she looks at those bruises tomorrow.
Shaw gently lowers Raven’s legs as he pulls out of her, leaving her feeling far too empty. But she’s quickly distracted from the empty ache by her knees nearly buckling under her. Shaw catches her before she can fall, and Raven drops her head against his chest, laughing breathlessly.
“So, uh, it’s been a pleasure meeting you,” Raven jokes as she figures out how to stand again. Shaw gives her a moment to steady her legs before releasing her to dispose of the condom, laughing with her.
“Yeah, pleasure’s definitely the right word. Maybe we could meet again, sometime?” Shaw asks, looking so incredibly sweet and hopeful as he does his pants and belt up again. Raven pulls her panties and dress back in order, then presses a light kiss to his lips.
“Anytime,” Raven promises.
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PART 3
WEDNESDAY MORNING
While Damon was online looking for odd jobs he noticed an add for dancers needed. He’s had a stripper license since he was 19 and used this as a means for extra money when not deployed. He sent this to Oliver in an email prior to calling him on his way to the pharmacy.
“Morning”
“Check out the email”
As he pulled out his iPad, he saw the email
“What the fuck is this?”
“Strippin....you already do way more, plus a bachelorette party would get you a killing. I used to dance at a few of them when I was home”
“Got anything else?”
“Banquets, I know a lot of companies. I can send you a list of catering companies you could do work for. What you got going on right now?”
“Laying on the couch, going into the office”
[Really? That’s the best you got? What part of “I want out of this life do you not understand?]
While he wasn’t thrilled about it, he took some time to think about t and he realized that bachelorette parties are for the entertainment value and he did keep his body in shape. However, didn’t want his current situation to mirror that of “The Players Club”.
Oliver got up from the couch to fix himself an omelette while continuing to talk. “Yo, I got you on speaker phone, doing some stuff in the kitchen”
“Man, remember when we were young and we would see vacationers out here, we vowed that one day it would be us taking trips with our families?”
“I do, and when I look at where I’m at, I think to myself “What the actual fuck?”
[We were lied to. In 2008, when we were in high school, we were told to go to college. That it was the ticket to a successful life. What they didn’t tell us is that the economy would tank. They didn’t go cover any alternatives. They never went over the cost of living and the fact that people here are working three jobs. I should have seen this with my own parents. Dad worked for the state and then worked as a janitor in the evenings. Mom still works as a financial aid officer at a state college. The preparation sucked. What the fuck am I gonna use creative writing for? Why was that in school?]
He cut the conversation short to eat his breakfast and get a shower in before work. Afterwards, he ironed a pair of pants and a golf shirt and heaved to the office where the direction informed him and Claudia:
“I have a project for the two of you. Our event is coming up at the mall. You two are going to be drawing outlines to these animal pieces on the construction poet right there. We’re expecting about 200 kids”
“No problem” Oliver said looking at the green construction paper in front of him
“It’ll be a breeze” Claudia assured him as she took a pair of scissors and the elephant trunk and demonstrated.
“So it’s like build a bear type of think but with other animals but they’re decorating their bags with them. That’s cute”
“Yeah, so are you gonna go to the career fair next week”
“The one at the convention center?”
“Yea, I heard there’s going to be several companies there.”
[Resume-FEMA, fucking, and non-profit]
“I plan on it. Do you know if any government agencies are gonna be there? I couldn’t find a roster anywhere”
“Not sure”
They continued working while talking about goals and aspirations when he noticed an alert on her phone. Knowing the conference due to getting the same alert an hour earlier, he asked her how she knew about it? Somewhat embarrassed, she snapped “What are you doing looking at my phone?!”
“I merely glanced over!” he exclaimed before taking her aside and confessing to being involved in the worlds oldest profession “I hate it. One would think attractive people and pleasure but there’s no real live and frankly it feels like a modern version of slavery. I can’t get a decent date to save my life”
After a moment of silence, she admitted that she was a phone sex operator and that she worked in evenings. “I have a friend who also is in high class escorting”
“High class?”
“Let’s talk about it later? How about we meet for a drink after work? We need to get a bit more of this done.”
Meanwhile, Damon was scouting on the web when his eye caught the attention of a webcam modeling website.
He though about his current life and how he’d mange to file his taxes. He normally got a 1090 at the end of the year. He also though about the repercussions of this and the thought that the clientele could be from his local area. He had a flashback to being deployed in Germany where he and some buds where in a night club, partying surrounded by beautiful women. “We are like royalty!” He thought about a conversation he had with his peer about wanting to serve for eight years and then retire and start college. Little did he know that half way though that time frame that he’d suffer a back injury along w/ PTSD from witnessing the death of a friend at the hands of a grenade.
He applied for work with multiple agencies and thought about how he could sporadically work vs checking in daily. With webcam modeling he could set his own schedule. With that in mind he decided to text Oliver.
“Who was that?”
“My friend Damon”
“So about how long have you with with this company?”
“About six months. I’m trying to start grad school”
They chatted while filing paperwork. They talked about politics, racial issues, economic issues, and the like. Claudia made for good company. She graduated with two degrees. She majored in English Education and Journalism and worked as a teacher’s aide for a period. She was tired of the work with virtually no pay. She responded to an add. Currently she works for a phone sex. One has seen the commercials late at night. She’s one of them. Definitely more conventional than Oliver’s current job.
As he was getting ready to eat lunch, she Claudia asked him if he wanted to eat while they worked. “Sure” he said as he went to grab his lunch out of his bag.
“We work with several schools in their special ed departments”
“What do y’all do?”
”We will be finalizing contracts for events mainly. But we do outreach and after school programs on social etiquette and speech practices our goal is to help those with autism be as integrated into society as possible” Noticing Oliver’s garden salad, she asked him “you health conscious?”
“Yep. Grew up like that. My parent’s rarely fried anything, but they didn’t ban them from the house. My mom was always big on vitamins and drinking plenty of water. I practice that today, to keep things under control. Being a diabetic, I have to watch it.”
Shocked at the revelation she asked him when he was diagnosed. He was diagnosed at 6 years old.
“I’m trying to lose weight, but I find myself emotionally eating more than I should”
Trying to avoid saying anything that could be interpreted as offensive, he simply said that he had his days too, hence the reason he goes to the gym six days/week, doing a combination of cardio and weights. After they finished eating lunch, they cut more construction paper and bagged it. They filed folders away for about an hour when Oliver signed out.”See you tomorrow?”
“You’ll see me in a couple of hours.”
The sun was beaming as Oliver drove home. He rolled down his window and plugged his phone in to have some music playing. He checked the mail and saw the electric bill was in. “Shouldn’t be this much” he said “I’m never home”
He checked his email as well as his escorting profile receiving three request including one overnight stay. Booking these trips back to back, he thought about his weekly check at $8.75/hr at 25 hrs per week along w/ the money from the three client’s that he’d earn. He’d have enough to pay his final payment on his only student loan and to pay his car note.
He kicked off his shoes to give his feet some air and called his mom.
[I’m being nice. This place is a shithole, in fact the only reason my unit isn’t laden with roaches is because I frequently buy those foggers and then I have to open the damn windows and door risking my shit being stolen. Also, Bengal and Boric Acid along the cracks and corners have done wonders.]
He looked up and realized that it was time to meet Claudia. He traded in his work outfit for a pair or black cargo shorts, a zero-nineteen tank top from K-Mart, and a pair of flip-flops and headed out. He got in the truck, turned the air on and arrived to the bar 20 minutes later. Locating Claudia at a table in the bar area we walked in to meet her when the waiter took their drink order.
[She’s a pharmacy tech and she still needs to be a lady of the evening by night? I’m fucked-literally and figuratively]
She advised him to update his profile to include massages and casual dates at a lower rate. While they were talking, A woman walks up, dark skin, about 5′9, in her mid 20s. She spotted Claudia and walked in the sit next to her.
“Hey chick!”
“Hey!”
“Hello, I’m Aya, how are your doing?” she said as she reached out to shake Oliver’s hand
“Oliver, I’m good. How about you?”
“So this is the guy? He’s cute”
“He’s taken”
“Actually I’m very available”
After ordering a drink, she begin to explain to Oliver how she got into her current part time job. “I started off escorting however a client of mine introduced me to a coworker of his that owned a matchmaking service. I showed up to a mixer I went out on one date. I never saw the guy again afterwards. That said, he did mention to me that he had utilized services where one would rent a dates for events. I eventually branched off and begin advertising on craigslist and the like.”
“So do you still...….you know?”
“Sporadically, but that’ll cost extra.”
Later that night, he decided to update his profile w/ additional services offered. He decided to try out a couple of speed dating events himself. He might even snap a client or two. Perhaps, he’d been looking in the wrong places, maybe it was time for more upscale social functions. His current evening work was not a glamorous job and frankly it was quite dangerous.
[Prostitution can be traced back as far as biblical times. Not a new profession and it’s a profession that’s always been available for the money. Sometimes, we use it to pay off a loan or some sort of debt. For others, it’s the love of sex. Some just like the temporary luxury that comes with being one’s bitch. Me? I’d like nothing more than to settle down. I know there’s a way. It may take a while to find it, but I refuse to have THIS be my stop.]
STORY SYNOPSIS
CHARACTERS
PART 4 TO FOLLOW
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Tariche
General Description
Tariche, which is an inversion and corruption of Ishtar, is a short young man who will say he’s sixty-nine years old if anyone asks. They eyes he’s got are pretty gold with literal sparkles shining in the iris (like Kirby’s new eyes in Star Allies) which resemble a starry vista. His hair’s black but he dyes it pretty hard, veering into platinum blond, and since he keeps it short, he’s got his roots showing more often than not. Refusing to use magic to dye it in solidarity with his buddies (which sounds like nothing but he can’t apply it to most other things considering the kind of creature he is), Tariche stinks of chemicals. Like his workplace, he sprays himself down with perfumes to keep the stink at bay, is what he’ll say but he finds that the mix of flowers, copper, and bitter chemicals puts people on edge.
Dr. Tariche’s mom was a true Hero and so was his older sister, according to him. He’s got a few moves of his own but Tariche preferred to put his talents to medicine and genuinely wanted to help others. The heroes in his family were his idols and as many heroes do, stuffed as many people as they could into their hearts. Tariche started practicing with good intentions, aiming to be like his mother and sister in his own way.
He’s a sharp boy, in mind and in action. With the complexities of social life and ethics though, it was black and white for far too long of a time. That’s why it hit him pretty hard when his sister let herself get cut to pieces after doing something that crashed him smack into some gray area.
Since then, Tariche hasn’t seen his sister at all. Where he’s gone, the only thing she can do is send her little brother gifts. Never letters.
The sudden isolation was sobering since Tariche has a particular power. If someone with a functioning mind knows something, Tariche will know it too. For now, it’s limited to people he’s seen face to face but slowly he’s been able to steal information from reading their writing or looking at their photos. But, it’s only information.
The emotion that gives context to the hard numbers and words are lost to him even when he’s told outright. Tariche can’t understand the minute complexities that can be pinned to the endless stream of information flowing into his head.
Take the gifts his brother sends him from who knows where. They’re apologies for not being around because he’s too dangerous to be around. He’d be a bad influence. Tariche understands the apology, that’s easy, but the hard facts say that his brother poses an extremely minimal threat to him. He doesn’t really get that his brother would know this but feel much different.
Same with his mother, who he hadn’t met until he was fresh out of childhood. Due to certain circumstances, his mother had to give her kids up. She could have kept them of course but “if you had been around, your life wouldn’t have been happy. Even worse, I’m afraid my life would have been much better.”
‘You don’t know for sure,’ is what Tariche thought. There was no way to know if that was true. Either way, there could be no comparison. Not knowing frustrated Tariche and gave him an aching empty feeling he tried to fill as much as possible.
But learning from his family, a heart can’t hold that much. Not without exploding and he knew with the way he was, that kind of mess wasn’t something he could walk away from. So, the rule became four close people and as adrenaline pumping, violent emotions to properly understand and keep him full. It can’t be irritation, it has to be rage. Never melancholy, there has to be unrelenting misery. Those are way easier to understand and he’ll put his back into wringing them out from anyone who can give it to him.
Anything else is irrelevant.
Instead of worrying about the little things, Tariche set out to stimulate himself to avoid having to be alone with his own thoughts. Knowing everything other people did was really boring so he tries to see everything exciting first-hand; an awful way of doing things with medical knowledge and an unhealthy curiosity to go with it.
Though he does pursue situations that are risky with no sure vision of the outcome, Tariche isn’t that reckless. He’s careful to be able to have an out so he can go on to discover more and more. That being said, he’s a huge masochist. Gives him a rush and anyone that can give him that rush easy as breathing, he’ll be all over them, self-preservation be damned.
So what’s he doing with the Thorn, having killed and replaced one of the doctors willing (read: blackmailed into) working with them? It’s very risky and Tariche has no idea what’s going to happen if he gets found out. Plus, there’s a lot of things going on in their everyday dealings to squeeze that sweet sweet adrenaline out of his abused kidneys.
Or maybe, he’s hoping that the Rose can find his mother while they’re sweeping Lore for anything with a hint of magic. Tariche doesn’t know why he wants that or for what reason. Who knows how his mother is going to react either. But that’s the best part.
Despite all that nasty stuff though, he has four chambers in his heart and it takes hard work and diligence to keep them healthy. At least with love, he knows that it’s something you work hard for.
Freely given? Definitely can’t make sense of that.
True Form/Past Life Notes
With how Tariche knows what people ‘think’ to be fact kind of steps too close to just straight up mind reading but I wanted it to be like books, y’know? Yeah there’s data in them but frequent tests, context, and it being widely agreed upon is what makes it information. So no matter what you read, you gotta practice critical thinking (which tariche is too lazy to do sometimes) I was thinking maybe instead of his past deity self being representative of all knowledge, he could be human knowledge. But then i thought it over more and well, that’s redundant. And like it’s kinda dumb that there might be another guy out there, who’s just the Snake Knowledge. How to swallow rats whole.
Tariche looks like a bundle of every living thing’s knowledge. But it’s much less intense than what Ty looks like, if that what Tariche chooses to do. It’s kind of like a book, he can present himself as something that children can understand or can become so complicated that your eyes burn looking at him. Even worse is if he decides to bring to the surface that whole “What Man Shouldn’t Know” kind of information. The stuff that horror literature makes such big stuff about. The stuff that makes people go insane looking at.
But it doesn’t have to be that way cause Tariche could bury it under a mountain of more mundane things. So instead of a witness going insane from the revelation, they could leave knowing waaaaay too much about cooking. Like, now they know 45 different ways to make a pie. Putting it that way can make it sound like he could help so many people out by being a good teacher but he’s lazy and dislikes spending time on strangers. “Do I look like a charity?”
If he were to draw it out, he’d just make a ball of squiggles with a pen to make it easier to understand but really, what he looks like is what learning feels like. Think of an epiphany or the moment where you finally get a math problem right.
Yeah, it sounds really complicated and annoying to present himself in a way that’s understandable to friends. Which sucks cause he feels most comfortable in this form and that makes him super jealous of his older sister.
History/Very Rough Draft
Tariche's history from start to somewhere in the present?
So like, he remembers everything really well, even being in his mom's womb, and why he likes eating cucumbers. (Ty thought she was getting fat or something so she tried to diet)
His knowledge powers were there when he was omg...gestating....
but it didn't bother him as much cause they were just words that didn't make sense to him until he was born. He was just happy to be warm and listen to the voices outside
(don't quote me on this)
so he hears a lot of voices including his mom and his sister, and a few others that pop up a lot of times, many of them sound kind, others sound like nightmares
but somewhere in the middle, Ty realized she wasn't fat and ran off somewhere to be with brhandy and tariche quietly. Tariche doesn't get like, hard facts yet but he feels the absolute fear and exhaustion his mom goes through. And floating upside down not being able to do anything drives him nuts drives him even more nuts when he's born cause now he has a solid world to put facts too, but he's a baby. he can't even control when he cries and pees himself. I imagine having an adult brain and not being able to control basic body functions is the worst.
So like, He knows tons and tons of things that could be helpful but his stupid baby hands and baby mouth can't form words. his arms are too weak to even lift a pen, and brhandy or ty keep picking him up whenever he tries to draw things in like, dirt or flour. But he's cool even tho he can't properly communicate cause Ty and Brhandy take care of him.
Then Ty has to leave cause of something, like problems with people needing a hero again. it's bad this time. She doesn't want to put Brhandy and Tariche through hardships or put them in danger, and since most people don't know they exist, she has to leave them behind in a nice orphanage.
now, Tariche knows how ty can get out of this, or how to solve the problem quickly but he's a baby, he can't say anything. it just sounds like slurred kicking and crying while Bhrandy holds him as they watch Ty disappear.
skip to like, a few years later and the siblings aren't adopted yet (they never will) but brhandy's old enough to take care of them both, do odd jobs, and train to be a knight.
Tariche is a lot quieter when he's a kid, and doesn't want to tell Brhandy about his powers cause he's afraid she'll hate him if he know how to keep their mom around does like, some bad things like drink and smoke cause he knows that'll keep his head clear even for little bits at a time, at age five.
but it's like not hardcore bad, brhandy is happy and the other kids at the orphanage are nice, even visit sometimes when they get adopted.
hey make a lot of friends, and when one of them is about to go to a happy home, they get trampled by a horse or something breaks their leg real bad and it gets infected.
Tariche knows how to fix this, he knows how to do the surgery, and what kind of medicine to give them, but his stupid kid hands shake too much to be able to help them, and makes it worse when he snuck in to try surgery.
Brhandy hides it from everyone that he may have helped their friend die faster but they also would have died anyways. She's more worried that tariche is gonna beat himself up for this
And he totally fucking does but it actually motivates him to train and practice so his body can catch up to his mind. So maybe next time, he can actually do stuff right for once.
He actually does great, becomes an amazing doctor and follows brhandy to a richer place where she can serve the nobility there
He's happier, has dropped the smoking just in time cause he's started to cough a lot, and also does stuff as a vet cause he really likes dogs
And then the stuff happens with brhandy where she accidentally finds out about what her powers are like, and it had rained too much in a place in the sandsea, and a lot of people caught disease from the bacteria that rose up from the ground, and killed a lot of people. (She like, can make it rain a lot. But only if she breathes. If she holds her breath, it won't rain but it's uncomfortable to painful for her)
Brhandy comes home and takes the hit for the horrible crime
Tariche knows that this isn't her fault and someone in the nobility had noticed, and tricked her into getting rid of an enemy in the chaos of the rainfall, but Brhandy is really guilty, and decides to stay in prison until her execution. And Tariche knows how to break her out, which route to take in, and how to escape, but he's a spindly nerd.
When he tries to break in to get his sis, he gets beat up real bad, and and watches brhandy get drawn and quartered.
Tariche is pretty upset, understatement. And manages to find her body parts and found them to be still alive, just in pieces and unconscious. Ty wasn't human and they aren't either. You can't kill them like that normally, but it sucks to not have a body. He gets manic, tries to put her back together but can't manage it cause he doesn't know how to, and this is his first time not knowing something cause the knowledge doesn't exist.
But since he is "knowledge" he can just conjure it up. He actually does it accidentally, and then lost the ability to cry. He can create knowledge but doing that is like an action that accepts that he isn't human, and takes away a human function.
And the way to get her back together is very difficult, and he can't do it in a way that would fit Brhandy's morals. he would need to practice a lot, cause one shot is gonna bring her back but if he fails, it's over forever.
He wants to practice but he'd only be able to do it on other humans, and that'll kill them, but humans killed bhrandy after they used her, and her morals was what got her dismembered in the first place. so actually fuck it. he wasn't good enough to help her or themselves, so he'll just be bad
he starts learning a lot, gets sneaky, always smells a little like blood so he goes nuts on bath and body works kind of things. it's also stuff that brhandy was into so maybe that'll comfort her even tho she's sleeping.
Then he like, finds that he's not getting enough subjects on his own, and he's not getting any better at the procedure, gets worried that he really is a shitty person and isn't trying hard enough cause he actually doesn't love his sister.
He has to turn to sponsors or an employer for help.
and his reputation has apparently proceeded him cause he's promised a high standing right away, and a meeting with the big boss.
Then tariche recognizes the man's voice.
And he's so mad
he's super pissed when he looks at his father cause, this is why he's like this right?
Scum of the earth that only uses his family as an excuse for his sadism
But that's ok, as long as he gets Brhandy put back together, it's good. He's started on a job and he hates leaving things unfinished
so maybe when Brhandy has her head back on, minus all the things that got her killed in the first place, Tariche can take his head off, and finally rest.
Misc Details:
He’s a huge masochist sure, but no needles. Dr. Tariche hates needles and will close his eyes when he’s administering vaccines.
On the subject of needles, the good doctor found a way to both control a person’s movements, change the way a person thinks, and what they think about. Tariche can only do a few at a time but somehow, he can skip all that conditioning stuff by himself but for someone else to do it, they have to use tools. Tariche could teach them if he didn’t black out from looking at the needles.
Why he figured out the needle method in the first place has to do with being able to control people in the first place. If he practices this over anyone, he loses a bodily function. If he continues to use it, it’ll reduce him to having to be on a life support system but stop short of halting his heart. He’s used it all of once and lost the ability to cry when he’s sad.
If there’s an equivalent of Body and Bath Works around, count Tariche as their number shitty customer.
Of course he’ll wash his hands but you need to beat him over the head to make him wear gloves.
Throat punching is his favorite move for some reason. Maybe he wants to get rid of that pesky adam’s apple keeping him away.
No more doctor related things but he’s creeped out by dolls. Tariche can’t throw away the ones his brother sends him but he wishes they could have been cool rocks or whatever.
Tariche has corset piercings on his back. Why? Why.
No one’s sure if he calls tools primitive because he’s from the future or if it’s cause he sucks.
In DF at least, he's the illegitimate son of the main hero character and theano
#Tariche (Info)#Definitely not going to stay the same#The more I think about things the more they change#it's more about his feelings rn
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Sweet Tooth: Part Six
A/N: Wow writing this story has me real life falling in love with this dude. Send halp you guys.
Word Count: 6k
Warnings: Cursing, Lance Tucker being Lance Tucker. Male masturbation, Sexual situations(but it’s still pretty SFW)
Summary: Lance Tucker has come back to his hometown with his ego bruised and his look on life more tainted then ever. When he runs into Y/N; a vibrant plus size woman he went to high school with at her bakery ‘Cake Faced’, he leaves the shop with the taste of sugar on his lips and a hunger that has nothing to do with the cupcakes.
💘💘💘💘
You know when you just have one of those days that’s complete and absolute shit from start to finish? The kind of day where it feels like a every possible thing that could go wrong, does go wring?
Yeah, Lance Tucker was having one of those.
He woke up to a serious case of morning wood, like the violent kind, his erection strained painfully against the material of the sweat pants he’d worn to sleep and when he freed it, it had crooked up so fast that it slapped against the taut lower abs of his stomach. It wasn’t that Lance wasn’t accustomed to this particular issue, he’d been a teenage boy before, “Wet dreams are a normal part of growing up” he remembered his family doctor telling him, much to his mortification.
But he was a grown man now. He shouldn’t be waking up hard as a rock- at least not as frequently as he had been. For the last two weeks, ever since that god forsaken night at the bar, he’d been able to dream about nothing but you. It was cliché and annoying, but somehow you always popped up. His subconscious couldn’t keep you out.
Whether the dream was about him being lost at sea, in some kind of suburban ground hog day like hell- or scariest in a court room where he was being accused of sleeping with the gymnasts back in California- you we’re always there. Offering him a Pina Colada served in a coconut, or dressed in a tight 50’s style dress waiting for him when he sang out ‘Honey, I’m home", or sitting on the defense stand. “No, he’d never do that!”
You wouldn’t go away.
And waking from last nights dream, the one where he was seventeen again, winning his first gold and you were in his hotel room waiting for him. Your hair falling around your shoulders like a halo, a black silken robe hugging your curves. Your plump lips painted a bright cherry red, as you perched on your knees on the bed.
“Congratulations Mr. Tucker” Your voice had been angelic but your eyes we’re fucking monstrous. Devious. Enough to bring anyone to their knees “Come give me that gold” And then you’d opened that robe and he’d lost it at the sight of your heavy round breasts and cute tummy. Those pert nipples and thick, juicy thighs. Dream him had literally pounced on you.
And just as he was about to pound you into the mattress, the sound of someone next door mowing their lawn had woken him up.
“Fuck me” Lance groans as he fists his hard on, tugging it roughly. He was getting sick of jerking off. Sick of you messing with his head the way you had been doing since that day he’d walked into your shop.
You just wouldn’t cave, and he just wouldn’t give up his pride.
He hadn’t tried to contact you in the weeks that had followed your rejection. Even though he found himself driving past your shop, though he’d memorized the road that lead to your house. Why should he ask again? You should be the one asking, begging, for his attention. It shouldn’t be this fucking hard.
He thinks about that look in your eye, the one that had been there when you’d pressed that kiss to his cheek and then slammed the door in his face. How messed up is it that, thats what gets him off. Makes him shoot his load and bite his bottom lip so hard he thinks it might fall off.
He hates you, after he comes down from the high of the orgasm.
He wants you, when he cleans himself up,
When he thinks about how hard he had just came. Just with the thought of you behind his eyes. He could only imagine the real thing-
The blaring ring of his phone interrupts his thoughts and he reaches over to blindly grab at the device on his night stand, checking the time before answering it.
It was only 5:30 in the morning. What kind of sick fuck was mowing their lawn at this time?
“Hello?” He answers, his voice rough as sandpaper.
“Lance, my man” It’s the familiar voice of Allen, his manager-well former manager. He hadn’t spoken to him in months and he was kind of shocked to hear him now, this early in the morning.
Red flags instantly went up in his mind.
“Allen? What’s going on?”
“Hey, hey, breath. It’s nothing that we didn’t know was bound to happen eventually, I just wanted you to hear it form me before anyone else tells you about it” Lance had always hated the way Allen sugar coated everything “So CNN got a hold of the story-”
That catapulted him into a sitting positon “What the fuck?! What do you mean they got a hold of the story? I thought that it was being kept wrapped up? That’s why the gym got closed down, right?” Lance’s words tumble out of his mouth, dread filling his stomach.
“They tried to keep it under wraps, you know the Board didn’t want it out because it makes them look just as bad as anyone, but some mom leaked it to TMZ for the payout and well-”
“God fucking damn it” Lance runs a hand over his face. This was bad. Even though he’d had nothing to do with the whole Zach being a child molester thing, he knew that the whole gym was about to get drug through the mud. That everyone’s names that were even the least bit involved were soon going to be tarnished. Because no mother would ever have their child being coached by someone who was deemed “unsafe” by fucking Anderson Cooper.
His career really was over.
And funny thing, it wasn’t even his fault.
“-And it will be okay, you can give a statement and clear things up on your end-” He hadn’t even been listening to Allen��s rambling.
“No” Lance decides “Fuck no, I’m not saying shit. Not right now, when everything is about to blow up”
“But-”
“Allen, I have to go. Keep me updated about what’s going on, okay? I’d like to know when I’m gonna’ see my face on national news” And he doesn’t even wait for a reply before he clicks the end button and hangs up. He’s quiet for a moment, attempting to process it all.
He was the fucking god of gymnastics, they couldn’t do this to him. And yet they we’re- over some sex scandal he hadn’t even committed himself. He always though that if it was a sex scandal that was going to end his career, at least he’d would have been the one to do it!-
The heavy rumble of the lawn mower out side of his window makes his eye twitch and he gets out of bed, throwing on a t-shirt over his naked chest and making sure his sweats sit normally on his hips before storming out of the apartment- onto the little patio above the garage. Ready to tell who ever the stupid prick was- just how stupid of a prick they we’re.
“Ma?” Lance is shocked as he see’s his mother in the early morning light, a neon pink wicker gardening hat on as she maneuvers the lawn mower. She looks chipper- and completely oblivious to the fact that he was going through a crisis.
“Good morning, Lancelot!” She uses the nickname she’d always had for him, but doesn’t stop her task “There’s breakfast inside on the table. I made that grapefruit juice you like! Fresh squeezed!”
“Mom, it’s not even six in the morning yet, what the hell are you doing?” Lance, barefoot, pads down the wooden steps and onto the lawn. He’s dark hair is mused, his blue eyes still puffy and sleep swollen as he crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the woman who had given him life.
She stops the mower, just for a moment to talk to him.
“The early bird catches the worm, you’ve gotta’ remember that one, hon’. I’ve been up for hours, just look at my rose beds, don’t they look so nice?” He looks at the vast garden on the other side of the yard. It didn’t look any different to him but he tells her their nice anyway.
She’d been on this weird renovations kick, which meant so had he because he ended up finishing whatever project she started. So far she’d painted the kitchen, refurbished an old piece of shit dresser she’d found at a yard sale, and now was proceeding to prim the outside of the house. Retirement wasn’t being kind to her, he knew she’d never been able to stay idle. A trait he’d inherited from her.
“Now go eat! And make sure the girls are up, will you? And would you mind driving them to school today? Brooklyn has an early shift”
He wants to punch the garage wall. Wants to jump off the roof of it, but he forces a “fine” through his teeth and goes to play Mr. Uncle-mom to his nieces.
Had you told Lance last year that he’d be living back home, in a house full of women, he would have laughed in your face. And yet here he was, doing exactly that. He guessed it could be worse, at least he had a little bit of space since he lived in the room above the garage and not in the actual house, but still. He was drowning in estrogen.
He was drowning in general.
Mornings are chaotic in the Tucker household, Brooklyn gets the girls dressed and ready but then has to be out of the door to make it to work in time, Lance doesn’t hold it againts her. He knew she was trying, that life hadn’t been kind to her either in the last year.
So he helped as much as he could, taking a quick shower and getting ready at lightning speed so he could pick up where his sister had left off. His mom helped too, feeding them stacks of pancakes and cups of juice.
He can’t help but be a little bitter as he watches the girls mow down. He remembers the harsh diets he’d been on as a child, fuck he’d gotten protein shakes for breakfast since he was six. The early morning gym sessions. The pressure. His dad’s whip like schedule- training. Constantly. He couldn’t be the best if he half assed it.
He shakes the thoughts as the girls finish up and grab their back packs, heading out of the front door before he does.
“You’ve been such a big help, Lancelot. I’m so happy your home” his mother rubs his arm endearingly, looking at him with grateful tawny eyes.
“It’s no problem”
What else could he say?
He slides on his pair of Ray Bans and gives her head a kiss before he’s out, after the girls. It’s a picturesque morning, they sky all clear and blue. Birds sing singing and all that. And yet he can’t bring himself to appreciate it- actually he thinks he wishes for rain. That the April sky would open in and drench the earth.
“Ooh, I love this song. Turn it up!” Lula coo’s from her place in the back seat and he chuckles and turns up Elton John’s Tiny Dancer.
“How do you even know this song?” He wonders as she belts out the lyrics. She really was a sixty year old trapped in a six year old.
“It’s a classic, Uncle Lance!”
He shakes his head and then Zoey’s being particularly quiet. Which is noticeable. Because the girl is never quiet.
“You okay?” He asks her non chalantley, eyes not leaving the road. In his side view he can see her shrug.
“I guess”
“You guess?” He purses his lip at that “Wanna tell me what’s up?”
“No” she huffs her arms crossing and he’s dealt with enough women in his life time to know to not poke the bear.
“Alright…” He drawls out. There’s one moment and then two and then she caves, the flood gates bursting open like he’d knew they would.
Some little bitchy girl at her school was giving her shit about how she should go to the Spring Fling dance because there was the family pictures that had to be taken and Zoey didn’t have a family anymore.
His face screws up in disgust.
“First of all, fuck her” Lance tells his niece “And secondly, you do have a family. Your dad’s going to be in town that week and you know your moms not going to miss it”
Zoey looks pensive “But it’s not the same. They don’t love eachother anymore”
Lance sighs. At the top of the list of things he didn’t want to do right now, talking to her about love was pretty high up there.
“That’s alright. People fall out of love all the time. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about eachother, or you guys anymore. It’s just…what happens” Lance shrugs. That’s all he’s got. He’d never been an expert on the subject, his own parents were divorced. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his dad.
“You don’t think it’ll be weird, our family picture?”
“Of course it won’t. Your parents will be in it, and grandmas chaperoning. And what am I, chopped liver?” That get her to smile a little bit, bob her head with the music.
“No, you’re the coolest. That’s why I like it when you take us to school the best, everyone always talks about how cool this car is!”
He chuckles. At least some one thought he was cool.
“Yeah they say 'your uncle has a sick ass car’” Lula chimes from the back seat and Lance almost chokes.
“Lula” he warns and she nods.
“I know, I know. No telling mom that you let us cuss in your car. What happens in the Audi, stays in the Audi” the littlest girl recites to him before continuing her musical rendition of Elton John.
After he drops off the girls his brain kind of turns off, and he ends up phantom driving around town. Down the old back roads he’d learned how to drive on. Past the park that he’d gotten his first hand job at. Past the old gym that he’d shed blood, sweat and tears, for years at. He thinks maybe he should stop. Maybe going in would make him feel…better? Anything?
But he just drives past it like he had since he’d gotten back to Hillsboro.
When he ends back up on Main Street, he knows exactly where he’s going. Where his destination is, and he slides smoothly and swiftly into a parking space right out front of 'Cake Faced’
———————————-
You don’t miss Lance.
You’d told yourself that for the past two and a half weeks. He’d gone completely awol on you after that night on your porch. He’d totally disappeared. Hadn’t stopped by the store, hadn’t been anywhere around town. Your eyes peeled for him in the super market when you went. You looked for that head of raven hair everyday among the sea of customers, but it was no use. You didn’t have any way to get a hold of him either. No number, no idea where exactly his house was…not that you’d just show up at his house. Would you? You’d searched him up on Facebook and sat with his page on your laptop screen for an entire day, contemplating clicking the “accept friend” button. You remembered when he’d sent the request a few years ago you’d literally barked out loud and ignored it. And now…well now things were different, weren’t they?
You decided againts it though. He obviously wasn’t interested anymore. Had he ever really been at all?
You can’t be mad, not really. You’d been the one to turn him down, to end things so to say. You’d spent a lot of nights hating yourself for not letting him in. And almost as many thanking yourself, because this would feel a whole lot shittier had you made love to him. Had you let him in.
So you work. It’s what your good at, after all. The shop’s Instagram page has almost 700,000 followers and you were set to get interviewed by Portlands Better Homes and Gardens magazine. You were comfortable, in your routine. With your success.
So why did you feel so…so?
“Ugh” you curse as you ice a tray of cooled Rocky Road cupcakes. You always did this when you were feeling antsy. Frosting cupcakes was the rawest form of therapy to you. Which is why you’d done almost every batch this morning by yourself, shooing any of your workers who tried to take the dark from you.
“Fine. I love getting paid to sit on my ass and watch Netflix on my phone” Shane had sasses you and you’d sent him a warning glare. It would have been scarier had you not had a smear of rainbow frosting on your cheek.
When you exit the kitchen, on your way to your office, your not looking for Lance. For the first time since that night, your not scanning for him. Not even thinking about him.
When you run into a wall like figure. Tall and hard and smelling of Armani…
Your eyes trail upwards, taking in the white t-shirt and midnight blue bomber jacket. The toned muscle underneath. The sharp jaw line and then those cerulean eyes.
“Lance?” It comes out shocked, disbelief coloring your tone.
He sure knew how to fucking make an entrance. He kept doing this. Showing up and taking your breath away. Everytime, it was totally unexpected. He never failed at slapping you in the face, right when you stopped expecting the blow.
“Hey, sweetheart” He looks down at you, at the way your till pressed to his front. He can feel the rise and fall of your chest, “Miss me?”
You shake your head, but you can’t help the smile on your lips “Not even a little bit”
He knows it’s a lie, he can see it in your eyes. Hear it in your voice.
“I didn’t miss you at all either” he grins at the fact that you hadn’t stepped away. That you’d ran head first into him and now you were just standing there, pressed againts him. He decides to test it, he hasn’t seen that pretty face of yours in weeks and he can’t help the way that his hand that had been steadying on your shoulders drops, skimming down your side, the curve of your waist, and coming to rest on your lower back.
It was intimate, it wasn’t something two friends did. You don’t want to pull away but you are at work. And this town is so tiny… yoi were sure the rumor mill would eat this shit up.
“Huh, I bet. So that’s why you just turned up in here, right?” You don’t look away from him as you reach your hand around to where his was in your owed back, giving his long fingers a squeeze, before pulling them from your body and stepping away. He doesn’t let you pull your hand away though, he twines your fingers together and you fight the chill that creeps up your spine.
“I’m only here for the cupcakes” you slap his shoulder lightly at that and he brings your connected hands to his lips, pressing a kiss againts your knuckles “You got me hooked” he breaths againts your skin and your throat hitches at his words. You? Have him hooked? “I can’t get enough of those lavender cheesecake ones. I think I could eat them for the rest of my life and die happy”
You roll your eyes at him. Of course he’d been talking about the cupcakes. He couldn’t have been talking about you- about what ever was going on between the two of you. You pull your hand from his grasp.
He really did have some balls. Cutting contact with you and then just walking in here and holding your hand and looking at you like- like that! His eyes peircing and affectionate and playful.
Ugh.
You turn to go behind the counter, plucking one of the cupcakes from under the glass and placing it on a napkin.
“Here” you come back to him, reaching out to hand it to him.
“Wait, lemme grab my wallet-” Lance goes for his pockets but you shake your head, reaching to deposit the sweet in his hand.
“Your fine” you insist and he gives you a cocked eyebrow “Since you just came for the cupcakes. I’ll see you later, yeah?”
You know your being a little dramatic, but hey, it’s in your nature. And you still felt odd about having not heard from him, you had no idea where the two of you stood.
Lance guawfs humorlessly and balances the cake in one hand while grabbing your wrist in the other, yanking you to a stop.
“You know damn well I didn’t come for the cupcakes”
You feel so…small. Under the grip on your wrist and the authorities timber in his voice. It thrills you. It turns you on, even though you’d deny it. Him being like this, using his coach persona on you had your lower belly pooling with heat.
“I came to see you. I’ve had- a really crappy start to my day and I thought maybe we could take a drive” Lance continues on, his fingers still locked around your grip. You notice then, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. The way his shoulders sagged. He looked…sad. Of course, you’d never seen him upset so you didn’t really have anything to go on, but he didn’t hold himself the way he usually did. And there was a lot less gel in his hair today.
“Okay”
He doesn’t think he heard you right. Had you agreed? With out him having to convince you?
“Okay?” He clarifies, just to assure himself.
“Yeah. I’m going to go grab my bag, and a box for your cupcake. Do you want anything else? A water?” You ask him and even though he shakes his head you grab two bottled waters instead of one.
—————————————
Lance’s red sports car is amazing and as you climb onto the leather seat you can’t help but ogle at it a little bit. It suited him. You couldn’t really imagine him driving anything else.
Nothing else would have suited his sucidal driving habits.
“You okay over there, Sugar?” Lance’s mouth quirks as he looks over at you, your gripping the seat with white knuckles.
“Yeah, if you could please slow down though. I’d like to keep my life, thanks”
Of course Lance just chuckles and presses down on the gas harder. After a while, you realize he has it completely under control. The wheel is balanced in one hand, his eyes serene and calm as they stare at the road and you relax, trust blooming in your chest.
“So, where are we going?” You ask after you noticed that you’ve passed the 'Welcome to Hillsboro" sign.
“I don’t really know”
You humm and lean your head back, enjoying the whip of your hair and the sunshine on your face that came with the top of the convertible being down.
“You wanna go to my favorite park in the world? It’s a little out of the way, but it’s the best”
Your eyes get big and excited and of course he wants to take you to the place that makes you light up like that.
“Just tell me where to go”
You give him directions, you don’t even have to plug them into your phones GPS. The ride takes about forty five or so minutes but Lance doesn’t mind. He’d more then happy to drive far, far away from his problems at the moment.
You flip on a comedy station to pass the time and both of you end up in stitches after listening to Bert Kreischer’s Russian mob story.
“Oh hell no” you wheeze, wiping tears away from the corner of your eyes. Lance laughs so hard, his head thrown back. He looks carefree, and beautiful. So beautiful.
“Lance, look at the road!” You insist, still giggling as you poke his shoulder.
When he pulls into the gravel lot of where you say the park is, he can’t say he’s too impressed. It’s just a wide field shielded by heavy tree line-
“It’s a little bit of a walk to the actually park. That’s okay with you, right?” You tell him, reading the un-amazement on his face.
“Lead the way, Sugar plum”
The walk down the path that winds through the trees is filled with you teasing him relentlessly for calling you sugar plum. What kind of pet name was that? Sugar plum? Like the fairy? Lance just snorts and tells you that he knows you love it.
When you get to the actual park, he can see why it’s your favorite. It’s small and quaint and looks something it of a story book. With the large willow trees that framed the park equipment. There’s a sea of daffodils that bleeds into the shrubbery.
The Park looks a little like this
“How’d you even find this place?” Lance wonders as they swing back and forth on the swing set.
“I wish it was like some cutesy story, but it’s really not. I- as I assume you remember- am extremely directionary challenged and I got super lost one day and ended up here when I was ,like, I don’t know twenty, I think? I smoked a joint and slept in my car and now this is my favorite place”
He can’t help but chuckle at your story, at the bluntness. Unbeknownst to him, you were sharing something big with him. That day you’d gotten lost and found this place had just so happened to be the day of your mothers funeral.
You don’t tell him that part though.
You don’t want to shift the atmosphere, he already seems a bit down and the last thing you intend on doing is making it worse.
“I wish we had a joint right now” He sighs and looks up, eyes closed to the sun “I could really fucking use one”
“You know you can talk to me, right? I mean I’m a lot of things but a judgemental bitch is not one of them” You gnaw on your lip, gauging his reaction as you swing.
“Yeah, I know” Lance realizes how much he actually does want to talk about it. He just had no one to do so with. Everyone had their own busy lives and he couldn’t unload his shit on them, and yet here you were. Arguably the busiest, and yet you were still inviting him to lay it on you. Your eyes reassuring.
“Do you know why I moved back to town? Honestly” with the way he’s looking at you, you don’t think you would have been able to lie.
“Not really. I heard that some shit went down back in California, but no specific details”
Lance gets off the swing, with a huff and your worried you might have pushed too hard but he just throws you a backwards look, urging you to follow him.
And that’s how the two of you end up laying in the grass, him telling you about the fuckery road that his life had gone down. Lance took off his jacket and balled it up so that you could rest your head on it, your shoulder presses into his ribs as you listen to him.
It feels good, to vent. To bitch, to get it out. And you’re so receptive, really listening to him while not just letting him drone on. You give him input, you share your perspective.
“I think it’s probably my karma, all of this” Lance tries to sound light. Comical. But comes out bitter and upset instead.
“Hey, we all do stupid fucked up things. I hate to be the one to have to inform you of this, but your a human being” you sit up on your elbow so that your looking down at him, your hair tumbles over your shoulder like a curtian “I know your used to being this…Olympic God machine but your flesh and bone just like the rest of us”
He’s tracing your features with his eyes. The arching cupid’s bow of your lips, the deep dimples in your cheeks. The way your eyelashes flutter againts them as your gaze tips down to his. “My life is total and utter shit, Y/N”
Hearing him admit that to you, something you know wasn’t easy for him to say, makes your heart break. You reach out and push a stray, dark lock away from his forehead comfortingly. Lance keens at the feeling of your fingers feather light on his skin.
“Well, I guess you’re going to have to figure out what to do next then. Which isn’t easy, but your Lance Tucker. I have faith in you. You should have a little faith in yourself” you whisper, your fingers trailing down, skimming over that deep endent under his cheek that you had always ached to touch. Down past his chin, dancing along his protruding jaw line.
The way your looking at him is driving him crazy. The fondness and admariation your showering him with is too much…
But somehow it’s just enough. Just what he’d needed.
“Y/N” He starts but the words die in his throat. He doesn’t know what to say. How to thank you, for not letting him sink into the quick sand of self criticism. For being there for him, when he hadn’t realized he’d needed anyone there in the first place.
When he reaches up to cup the side of your neck and you don’t pull away he wants to kiss you. Then you bite your plump bottom lip between your teeth, and your eyes go bashful and sweet he needs to kiss you.
So he does. He pulls you down to his lips firmly internally groaning at the fact that he’s finally getting to taste you. Your lips taste sugary sweet, your breath in his mouth saccharine like candy and he can’t get enough. He twines his fingers under your hair and pulls you closer, his tounge delving into your mouth after a while, in search of more of that flavor. The little sqeaks and hums your emiting spur him on.
“Mmm, Lance” you get out between kisses and he just shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t want to stop. Not now. After he’s been dreaming about this shit for weeks like some idiot love sick teenager.
You break for the deep kiss, running your nose along his as you suck in a ragged breath of air. Your quaking at the intensity of it all. You were only kissing him, and yet your nerve endings felt frayed.
Every time he tries to go to deepen it again, to explore your sweet little mouth once more you stop him. Pecking and nibbling. When you lick the bow of his open mouth he literally growls.
“You’re the worst fucking tease I’ve ever met in my entire life” he accuses. Best kisser though, his brain shoots as an afterthought.
“Mmm” your teeth catch his bottom lip, and you tug at it experimentally “I think you need it”
You’re all but straddling him now, one of your legs throw over his hip as his arms cradle you close to his body, one hand in your hair and the other gripping the back of your thigh.
You forget how strong he is, forget what those Olympic grade muscles he hides under his shirt are capable of so when he flips you both suddenly, manuvering you as though your some skinny little rag doll, he knocks the air out of you.
He smirks down from his new position, holding his elf on his forearms above you.
He presses a kiss againts the corner of your lips “What I need is some relief. Do you know how serious the case of blue balls you’ve been giving me is? You’re killing me smalls”
You chuckle and blush at his words, turning away from his gaze. He takes that as an invitation and noses his way into the exposed side of you neck. You whimper when he begins to kiss at the hyper sensitive flesh there. You always had been a sucker for neck kisses.
When your phone rings, the shrill sound breaks you out of your Lance induced trance.
“Leave it” Lance’s breath his hit againts your ear, and he nips on the lobe to make his point.
“I can’t, it might be work” you press on his shoulder, and he gives only an inch. Only enough so that you can grab you phone. Your still pinned under him.
“Hello? Okay calm down- it’s not the end of the world. Just scratch the batch. What do you mean we’re out of the Madagascarn vanilla? I just ordered some like a month ago- fuck. Okay. No, I won’t be gone too much longer”
Lance sighs as he listens to your conversation, inferring that it’s time for him to move he gets off of you, reluctantly letting you sit up.
“I’m sorry, I left Tracy in charge and she’s new”
You apologize when you get off of the phone. Lance tells you that you have nothing to be sorry for, that he gets it and you lean in to peck him once more.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish” he warns wanting nothing more then you fuck you right here in the middle of this park. You giggle against his mouth.
Right as the sky gives an angry grumble of thunder and lightening streaks across the once sunny horizon.
And, Lance gets his wish from earlier, as it begins to sprinkle light raindrops. He’s cool for a moment, enjoying the pecks you press to his lips before recolonization causes his eyes to snap open.
You don’t think you’ve ever seen him move so fast as he bolts up onto his feet.
“Fuck!” Lance cries “I left my roof down!”
—————————————–
When he drops you back off at the shop, with a final dragging kiss that you have to force yourself to pull away from, he feels better. He really does. He’s surprised just how fucking light he feels- as he watches you sashay back into your shop, shooting him one last smile over your shoulder.
He’s driving back home when his phone dings, he stops at a red light and checks the alert.
Y/N Y/L/N has accepted your friend request.
The one he’d sent literal years ago. Lance snorts and shakes his head. Finally.
Part Seven
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Well this chapter ended up being almost 7k! I just couldn’t stop lol. I wanted you guys to get to peek into Lances life, while also keeping him in character. I’m obsessed with the way his and Y/Ns relationship is starting to unfold and I hope you guys are too. Next couple of chapters will be ALOTTA fluff and smut. And I’m thinking I want to wrap this one up soonish? Maybe end it with 10 Parts?
Leave me some feed back and let me know what you guys thought of this one! Love you pretty babies!
#lance tucker x reader#lance tuckerxreader#lance tucker#plus size reader#bucky barnes x plus size reader#plus size reader insert#the bronze
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Walk Away I Suffer From That Disorder Where I Speak The Truth T Shirt
I want to give a Walk Away I Suffer From That Disorder Where I Speak The Truth T Shirt shout out to the honest company back in february I ordered their prenatal vitamins I didn’t receive them and eventually looked through my emails they had been sent to my old house address assuming I forgot to update my address on file I figured it was my loss after awhile I recalled having a delivery to my current address here it is nearly may and I finally called the honest company it turns out that I had added my current address but somehow it was not set as default customer service made the address change for me and is sending me the prenatals I ordered back in february anytime I have called for help with an order the honest company has gone above and beyond to help me and btw the organic breathe easy rub has been a miracle for my baby’s chest congestion. Want to join opening night of springsteen on broadway this week bid on front row center orchestra seats plus invitation to the after party in support of the kristen ann carr fund here ️ the auction closes tomorrow afternoon. Why is victoria’s secret paying for tests on animals again animals used for testing live in small or overcrowded cages with little to do but wait and wait in panic and constant fear of hearing the cage door open because when it does they are forced to ingest or inhale cosmetics ingredients or substances are rubbed onto a raw patch of skin on their back or dripped into their sensitive eyes then they are made to suffer without painkillers for up to two weeks while these cruel tests are conducted and they are eventually killed please stop contributing to animal cruelty thank you
Source: Walk Away I Suffer From That Disorder Where I Speak The Truth T Shirt
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So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn See Other related products: Walk Away I Suffer From That Disorder Where I Speak The Truth T Shirt
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