#plus i think he does repress a lot

[crumbleclub]

michael: do i really have trauma, though?

jeremy: dude. your dad is literally a serial killer

michael: yeah, but he didn't serial kill me

[tofixtheshadows]

Hot take: Laios wouldn't actually mind an arranged marriage. Obviously "reluctant royal being pressured into marriage" is very fun for shipping purposes. But I have harlequin blood, so bear with me. Join me on this journey of character theorizing/shipping nonsense that makes it abundantly clear I have a Scrivener document I'm neglecting.

Laios was promised to someone from a young age. He and Falin both were; it's probably how their parents ended up together. They both broke it off by leaving their village, but it didn't seem to be a factor in Laios's own decision. And when Marcille, presumably, asks about his hypothetical love life (bicorn chapter), he not only brings it up readily, but actually seems kind of flattered? lmao

I love when smug Laios comes out. Underrated factor of Laios's personality for me is how much he enjoys being seen as cool. I think you'd expect Laios to be embarrassed or uneasy over this line of questioning, and the fact that he isn't is fun to me.

So when Yaad and his other old advisors bring up his need for a wife, Laios is ready to go along with it. Not necessarily thrilled by the prospect, but he was raised to think of marriage as a business arrangement you do because it's beneficial for your household/bloodline (as was often the case historically). He's already made the big step to claim a throne, and the idea of becoming village chief after his father seemed to have been vaguely in the back of his head all his life. Besides, if he has to do it anyway, I think he'd take comfort that there was a formalized process for an otherwise socially messy undertaking.

This dovetails neatly with my personal headcanon that Laios is gay but unaware of it. He comes from kind of a repressed culture- or at least I can imagine he does based on context clues- and has spent most of his life being ostracized in one way or another, feeling like he's on the outside of humanity. So he doesn't realize that his lack of attraction to women is unusual- he assumes that nobody really enjoys romance that much. It's not like his own parents married for love. It's just something people play up for stories, right?

It's all tangled up with his fraught desire for human connection and platonic companionship anyway. Meanwhile he's blithely unaware that the things he says about Toshiro are not normal bro things. Oh you'd totally marry Toshiro, Laios? Tell me more.

I see this in Marcille too. Firstly due to her unstable development, which has only recently allowed her to reach maturity (I headcanon her as somewhere between 20-22) and secondly due to her being a half-elf (infertile+a too-long lifespan), I think she has the expectation that she's simply not destined for love. The half-elf character she relates to in her favorite books says as much. So she, too, confuses a genuine lack of heterosexual attraction with the belief that this is just because of her half-elf status distancing her from it. Plus, she spent over a decade as a student/researcher in a nice little sheltered academic bubble, at an all-girls academy populated by adolescents. She's the most sheltered of all the characters: she's only spent the past year in the "real world", and she still focuses all her romantic attention on living vicariously through her favorite characters or her friends (except for Falin, conveniently!).

And Marcille would absolutely want to live vicariously through Laios and his future wife. She would not want him to go through a dispassionate formalized process: she wants her bestie to have a fairytale romance! What is the point of being a heroic king in a mythic castle if you can't even get a love story for the ages out of it?

This would result in a lot of Laios meeting with eligible bachelorettes at Marcille's urging, looking to Kabru for help the entire time and being grilled by Marcille afterwards about what he liked best about each girl. "She had nice, um, teeth?" They're both so close to getting it.

Kabru, meanwhile, is agitating for Yaad and the other advisors not lock the country into a hereditary monarchy, they have the chance to do something radical here, to break away from the systems that the elves and dwarves uphold. At the very least, let Laios marry for love, or formally adopt an heir and name them his successor if he wants, he's already sacrificed enough for the sake of Melini. Don't make him jump through these circus hoops for the chance of some trade agreements, we can get those without a royal marriage. And even if Laios was willing to go along with it, he does look at Kabru like he's his hero for sticking up for him.

The vague unhappiness Kabru feels at the idea of Laios being married off is easy for him to ignore. Kabru didn't actually get better at honoring or even recognizing his own wants just because he's moved past the dungeon. And Laios hasn't gotten the hint about his crush on Toshiro and is still 50/50 on saying casually shocking things, so when he remarks that he doesn't need a wife anyway when he has Kabru, he has no idea why that gets him the looks it does. After all, where he's from, men marry women to run their households, but Laios has castle staff for that, and Kabru is handling the rest?

That comment alone ticks one month off their collective gay awakening countdown.

Anyway. How many repressed gays in their twenties does it take to run a country?

Answer: Yaad can tell you.

[prosciuttoon]

Toshiro/Shuro is overhated

(mirror of my thread on twitter)

ever wanted to talk abt something so bad but u have so many thoughts so u cant even begin to organize a sentence. thats me abt shuro and its why i cant give my thoughts on him. i NEED to get this out of my system bc its takign up so much memory in my brain i need that space for thinking.

so i was really surprised to find so much hate for him even tho he seems pretty normal and rational out of the whole cast. ive deducted that its mostly abt his laios fight and that the ppl who hate him probably had bad experiences w social cues and relationships w neurotypicals bc of that. theres no way to avoid it bc its pretty much Right In Your Face that laios is ND. but thats not the only factor in why their relationship is rocky. its also the culture barrier. u have to understand toshiro was raised as JAPANESE NOBILITY ofc he would be a little conservative

also culture shock. idk if u know this but jp culture is very Mind Your Own Business like a lot of other asian cultures . ofc hes gonna be weirded out by a stranger invading his space. also his names not even Shuro. its just yt ppl not pronouncing his name right and settling for whats easiest.

img src: fan translation by savaralyn2 , i think its from the adventurers bible Complete Edition bc i dont remember it in the old one

ok you get the gist of the culture aspect of it. lets go into the ND/NT clash aspect of it. yes i understand its pretty hurtful to never be told when youre acting inappropriately. i am autistic too lmao. but you have to understand that shiro is one guy and he even does realize that repressing things is one of his fatal flaws. again. asian culture. non confrontational. that sorta thing. but these are genuine frustrations. if i were him id be annoyed too but id speak out about it. set boundaries. bc im blunt. shiros not. he was taught crazy strict manners (hierarchies, respect, politeness, etc).

his problem isnt ableism its a culmination of culture barriers, how he was raised to behave, and terrible lack of communication as thing caused by "all of the above" plus he just generally keeps to himself a lot which means repressing frustrations that will explode leading to a pathetic fistfight while hes starved, exhausted, and dehydrated. also. if he was ableist he would hate laios. he doesnt hate laios. at the end of the day, they are friends. NT and ND ppl can be friends u know. there will be rifts (like their fight) but you just have to communicate misunderstandings. theyre gonna be fine lol

anyways that was my whole spiel abt it. i think i got everything out that i wanted to? my head still feels a little full so i may add more later when i remember something

also i think its a little unfair to rule out the possibility of laios and him just being 2 very different kinds of ND bc its very common for misunderstandings to occur even then. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! but for the sake of interpreting the Fight as a commentary on NT social rules and ND frustration, ill say toshiros NT. will we ever know? hes so far in the sidelines... youd really have to dig in the extra content to see the intricacies of his character.... please give him a chance

[anxious-witch]

I would like to talk about Edwin, Charles and asexuality for a moment and why I personally like hcing Charles under the ace umbrella rather than Edwin.

To preface, this is obviously just my opinion, and if you like ace Edwin, relate to him or hc him as such, totally valid! I am just basing this off some of the narrative purpose that Edwin's sexuality plays in, and how in parallel, Charles' seems to fit into the flavor of ace-spec I am more familiar with.

Splitting this into two part bc again, I cannot seem to stop talking. This part talks about why I don't see Edwin as ace, part two will talk about why I can see Charles being ace/on the ace spectrum.

Edit: here's part two

Anyway! To the actual reasoning.

Let's start with Edwin. First thing we need to remember about Edwin is that he was born and raised in 1900s, and so that some of his behavior, habits and the way he talks about sexuality can't be judged by modern standards. Plus ofc, added layer of trauma of decades of hell.

So his dislike for being touched, his inital reaction to being flirted with etc, can all be contributed to that, imo.

But let's look at why I think it's important for his character specifically to experience sexual attraction.

Given his upbringing, and growing up with what was likely lots and lots of shame and repression around being a gay man, Edwin seems to completely block out any sort of feelings or wants he might have around other men. (Which is why he didn't realize he was in Charles until he was forced into situations) With his added trauma from hell, in which we know he, at least for a time, believe he deserved it because of being gay, I think it makes perfect sense he didn't wanna acknowledge any of it.

The first hurdle in his path was, of course, the Cat King. Now, you can love him, you can hate him, but I hope we can all agree that what Edwin experiences around him is sexual attraction. I touched upon that in my analysis of their interactions and how symbolic it is for Edwin's sexuality so I will try to keep this short. The way Edwin gasps and looks at the Cat King up and down when he transforms into just a coat and underwear, the way he recalls their meeting with the focus on the wink, on the CT's abs, the way he stares at his lips at their second meeting in ep 4. I don't think Edwin has feelings for the CT, except for maybe last ep where we can see a crush forming, but before that? That looks to me like pure sexual attraction.

It doesn't translate just to the Cat King either! We see it when CT transforms into Charles. Edwin is stunned, yes, but I think him pulling away and saying "Stop it!" Very sharply when he realizes it's a game is very telling. Sure, having romantic feelings for your best friend isn't easy to accept, but to realize you want him, in a sexual way, for even a few seconds? That must have been devastating for Edwin, due to him thinking of such desires as shameful.

Which I think is supported again when Edwin is caught by Lust in Hell, falling back into his shame, and Charles pulls him out. Because experiencing lust towards another man isn't a sin, but Edwin thinking it is is what briefly gets him stuck.

I am also not very keen on making Edwin ace due to the implication of "oh, Charles could pull him out of Lust because Edwin's love for him is pure and not lustful" because well. Being gay is no more pure or no more sinful than being straight. Gay people can have sex and it's not more morally wrong than a gay-ace couple that does not. With the rise of purity culture I feel a bit...uncomfortable with the implication of Edwin only coming to terms with his sexualityis due to the fact he only likes men romantically and there is no "sinful' sexual part. I think it kind of...defeats the purpose of his arc, especially the part where he meets the Cat King in the alley and the Cat King holds no power over him due to the fact Edwin is finally at peace with wanting him. Because that's okay. He can be attracted to him, be fine with it and not let it go any further(for now at least, hence idk what they are gonna do with s2).

So yeah. Again, not faulting anyone for any hcs or fics, if you like Edwin as ace, totally do your thing, I just feel like Charles is right there, with much more interesting dynamic when we apply ace lenses to him. But more about that in part 2

[a-twistedheartslonging]

You know that ask about the beasties getting jelly of the dildos? How do you think they'd handle their s/o buying toys (vibes,sleeves, grinding toys, ovipositors and straps) so that they use them on the boys during their heats/ruts? Which boys would most likely accept it with eagerness and which ones would act like scandalised old ladies in a church?

Happy beasty noises

Rook, Lilia, Malleus, Kalim, Vil, Cater, Jade, Floyd,

Talks big but is scare-roused.

Ace, Deuce, Ruggie, Epel, Idia.

Scandalized. (Is later into it)

Riddle, Azul, Rollo, Sebek.

So, guys like Mal, Silver, and Kalim are a big mixture of being chill about it when brought up and are really curious, though Kalim gets adorably excited about it.

Idia is into a lot of that stuff but never thought he would do it with another person and is pretty dang nervous about doing just regular sexual stuff with you in the beginning though talking about it online is where it's easier for him and where he's more confident. Unlike the other guys he doesn't try to hide his nervousness IRL though, he does end up getting more comfortable with it in the end as you guys experiment.

Rook and the twins are freaks, love trying new things, and love you. They will probably be the ones to bring up trying that stuff in the first place and have a list.

Riddle, Rollo, and Sebek have so much repressed horny energy and Azul has his body issues that make it hard for him to just let go, plus he has to keep up that gentlemanly act.

With Riddle, I think it ends up with him being embarrassed but letting you do what you want while he has his face hidden in a pillow and his ass in the air. He's totally into it but it makes it easier for him by telling himself and you that he's simply allowing it.

[i-heart-hxh]

Do you think killua realizes the intense feelings for gon are actually romantic in nature? He is still a kid, one who was pretty sheltered in life until recently, so I doubt he has a full grasp on the full spectrum of human emotions, especially since he probably had to repress them a lot as a child/interacted very little with people outside of his family.

I personally think he has at least some idea of the nature of his feelings by the time they separate, though it's debatable to what degree. Even though you're totally right that he's grown up isolated from most of society and his emotions were suppressed growing up, he's shown having some awareness of romance and sexuality (examples: his reaction to Leorio wanting to feel up Leroute in the Hunter Exam, knowing what shibari--a type of bondage--is in Yorknew, his panic/misunderstanding about what Gon meant when talking about going on "dates" in the past, and understanding the potential situation with Meruem having Palm/a woman with him in Chimera Ant arc). His parents are married and he does have older siblings, and he presumably had internet access as well, so those might be potential reasons why he's less naive than Gon.

I think the Palm situation may have forced him into some kind of tipping point when thinking about the meaning of his feelings. Plus, he was the one who used the word shinjuu (lovers suicide) to describe what he was planning to do with Gon, which is a word that seems to imply some awareness on his part. Surely he would have heard of that in the context of doomed lovers, which is most commonly how it's used.

There isn't enough to go off of in canon to say for sure he knows, though--and I've discussed lately how the friends vs comrades crisis within him may be "coding" for him trying to understand his romantic feelings, which would lead one to think maybe he doesn't totally understand, or perhaps he's in denial to some degree even if he does partially understand his feelings.

I personally think he has a jumble of thoughts and emotions about it that are hard for him to untangle fully, and they may shift constantly. By Greed Island and beyond he seems pretty smitten, so it's unlikely that he wouldn't notice his feelings and consider what they mean as time goes by, but at the same time he might struggle with admitting it fully to himself, and even if he has internally admitted it to some degree he might go back and forth on how much he's willing to explore or deeply consider it. It's very possible he has some level of shame about it--feeling he "shouldn't" be having these kinds of feelings about his best friend, especially with how vulnerable even just their friendship can be for him.

Post-separation, I could see him grappling with these feelings and trying to push them away, while still trying to preserve the "normal" friendship part of their relationship. After all, in Chimera Ant arc these intense feelings only made things more painful and difficult for him, and I'm sure he believes Gon doesn't reciprocate. I don't think Killua will succeed in getting rid of these feelings even if this is the case--hopefully eventually he'll be able to express them to Gon in some form.

So anyway, that's my half-analysis and half-headcanons on the matter. I go back and forth somewhat myself on how much awareness I think he has about it, but with how analytical and contemplative he is I do think it's something he would internally consider a lot, so it feels unlikely to me that he has no idea at all, especially post-Palm date. I'm curious what others think as well, as there isn't a clear-cut answer for this. Thanks for asking!

[partywithponies]

I watched @quinton-reviews 's new video and I wanted to do my set homework and come up with my own dream Nicktoons Unite team, except I never had any of the american channels growing up and I'm not familiar with a lot of these shows.

But nevermind, I came up with a compromise. Here's my concept for if they did a Nicktoon Unite style game but with CBBC and CBeebies characters:

1) Danger Mouse: reboot DM in particular is the obvious pick to replace Jimmy Neutron in this lineup. He's already dealt with cross-universe travel and portals in canon, and he has Professor Squawkencluck, who already just invents whatever device the plot requires. He's both practised enough at saving the world to be believable in these situations, while still being incompetent enough to need help from the others. Plus it'd be fun to see how his massive ego would react to these other guys.

2) Victor from The Secret Show: the most niche pick here, but come on. He's literally a secret agent. I'm not going to leave him out. (I dithered over whether to include Victor or Anita since I could only pick one. I chose Victor not because I'm sexist but because I just really want to hear Danger Mouse deliver the "Victor! Are you still alive?" line.)

3) Postman Pat: Now I know this looks like an insane choice. I know that making a postman fight baddies in life or death situations is ludicrous. But listen. Postman Pat: The Movie did it first. Blame them, not me.

4) Dennis The Menace: People who've never read The Beano might think that an un-superpowered 10 year old boy would be way out of his depth on a team with three adult men, two of whom literally fight evil for their job. But people who have read The Beano know that in canon Dennis has already thwarted alien invasions, travelled through time many times and dealth with the ramifications of changing the past AND avoided being beheaded, fought killer robots and man eating plants and sea monsters, toppled multiple dictatorships, got the British prime minister arrested, and fought climate change by going directly to the source and tearing down the factories. Whatever these games could possibly throw at him would be just another tuesday for Dennis.

5) Tiny Clanger: she's kind of the Spongebob of the group, both in the sense that high stakes situations and saving the world are really not what she usually does, but she would if she had to, and in the sense that she'd be the heart of the group. DM, Victor, and Dennis are all kind of self-centred assholes at heart who only save the world because no-one else will, and Pat is a middle aged British man (and therefore emotionally repressed), while Tiny Clanger is unfailingly loving, and kind, and friendly, and empathetic. Also her best friend in the world is a large metal bird, and I think Tiny suddenly riding around on the Iron Chicken would be a really cool power up for her.

[hereisrachel]

Realistic Simon "Ghost" Riley dating headcanons

- He is not interested in dating AT ALL

- Ghost actually is way too focused on his job, I personally like to think that a relationship is too big deal for him. He is dealing with enough stress for now

- He will repress any feelings towards you no matter what happens

- Realistically, he would never make any move towards you or would after you've known him for maybe 5 or more years

- Two things could happen then, he will eventually lose the feeling or they will grow stronger

- It makes him furious, he can't focus on anything. He wants to be back with his job but he is so distracted, he may think that it's stress or something but how can this be stress when he is thinking about you?

- He wants to hate you too but can't. His mind is flooding with somehow warm pictures of you. It disgusts him

- Tries to avoid you, but since he is in love obviously it's really hard

- So he makes small moves excusing himself "this is the last time, I wasn't looking at them, I sat next to them by accident" it irritates him as well.

- He sometimes doesn't talk, just being able to be in the same room as you makes him somehow happy

- Speaking of love, I highly doubt if he would like someone who is childish and annoying. I saw a lot of people make reader like that and I think he would just find them annoying.

- He prefers mature women that's for sure, he won't date someone who acts like a teenager

- If you won't confess first he will never do that. He can just accept but even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to tell you this

- he's a soldier, he barely knows how to act around women

- so he'll be awkward as fuck

- if you'll make a small talk he will listen but won't say anything back

- Maybe after knowing him for some years (I don't mean friendship, just like knowing him) he will say something back or even have a conversation

- It doesn't mean he doesn't care, he does but he is not able to show it

- nobody on earth could ever tell that he has a crush, the only evidence could be him looking in your direction a bit too many times

- If he accepts your feeling, your relationship with him will be the same as previously, almost non-existent sorry

- It's almost impossible to get the relationship going but he really does care for you

- He doesn't have much love in his heart, he doesn't love passionately or anything he is too hurt for that

- But this is somehow love

- it won't be easy to see that Ghost cares for you, but when something happens you're always in the back of his head and he's thinking.

- He's worried that you may get hurt.

- Always no matter what happens, it annoys him again ☠️

- He is much more tense when you aren't with him, he tries to get his mind out of it. You can take care of yourself after all right?

- Absolutely no touch, sorry again

- He likes sitting close to you thought

- Ghost, deep inside will be very grateful that you aren't pushing anything, you are both soldiers so that's understable plus you both are breaking the rules lmao

- If you think making him your boyfriend was hard, try to get him to bed

- If you will try it in the beggining of your relationship he will instantly break up with you. May take it as an attack or think that you will use him. That is the ending

- If you will wait, he probably won't think about it because he doesn't think about sex at all

- Sex topic aside now (there will be maybe separate post for that)

- It's all going really slowly, he smiles when you laugh at his jokes, he respects you for your brain and strenght, he likes having you around

- and maybe when his heart will eventually fill with love of you, he will accept your hug, again won't ask for it. He'll just wait for you to offer a hug

- Ghost is bad at all these things, he will be stiff as a wood and he'll just awkwardly put hands on your back

- I doubt if he will like that lol

- So no more hugs

- He doesn't like being touched or touching either

- He can make you coffee, help with something and this shit, this is his love language

- So yeah the relationship will be very uh

- You must be respectful and patient with him !!

-----

Just a reminder that this is just how I portray his character and I am not saying that this is 100% canon, also sorry for overusing "his, him, he" but I pay little attention to using names and it just looks like that 😭

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

So, i don't know how you would react at this BUT, i just read all of your posts and i think you're really amazing while answering ask's, so i just thought it might be good to share with you a ( kind of? ) headcanon that i have about Silver.

Like, i don't know if it actually makes sense. And pardon me if there's any grammar erros, i'm quite bad at english.

BUT i just feel that he is pretty "incapable" of truly expressing himself, unless it's when his knight mode are on, but even in this mode, has some difficulties. ( and by incapable i mean he has some pretty relevant difficulties with expressing himself in a sentimental way ).

I just have this sort of feeling that his creation with two non-human ( and one half-human ) beings as he was human have a large impact on him mentally, specially because Malleus and Lilia are not the most open ones in terms of sentimentality and Sebek is just bad at this as them and also have some issues with expressing himslef and being sociable.

Like, despite all the efforts Lilia put to make sure Silver grew up to be a good person, he couldn't really be that good on the social and emotional part and Malleus weren't the perfect teacher of it either, not even Sebek. So Silver just grew up subconsciously trying to follow their behaviors and manners, while the culture from Biar Valley also moulded his way.

( and I also see Lilia as someone who hides his true feelings behind this mask of energetic and teasingly playful guy. )

The sleep curse might had put some extra inner barrier in Silver's mind, as or he is completely afraid to trying be sociable or he just are indiferent to this because he don't actually think he is capable of something like that due to the curse making him sleep anytime plus all the baggage of being raised in a country were his specie in not viewied with good eyes and being raised by people he eventually knew that would live a lot many years than him, that compared to them, he's really just a common human with a short lifespan. I doubt this hasn't fucked up his mind.

I don't remember if it's actually mentioned something detailed about his relationship with his club partners but, i do think he can be respectful and chit chat for a few minutes, but just having a long, deep and intimate conversation with someone might be too overwhelming to him, since he practically lived his entire life having constant interactions only with his family. He's just caught in this cycle where his adopted dad hide his true feelings, Malleus pretty much do this too and Sebek probably doesn't even think about how he really feels, so he just follow them and lock himself in his own bubble.

So, i really don't know if this make any kind of sense. But i would enjoy if you share your opinion on this silly headcanon i have.

Hello and thank you for sharing your thoughts ^^

I originally wanted to keep this short, but I kept having more and more thoughts and continuously added to the post until it became an absolute behemoth 😅 I still feel like I could have said even more, but I’ll leave it at this for now.

Please look below the cut to read my response!! (Note: the focus will be mainly on Silver and Lilia’s relationship, as those two are usually the ones described as father and son + we know the most about those two as Silver grew up.)

Mmm… Firstly, I don’t know if “being incapable of truly expressing himself” is something that’s exclusive to Silver; this is a pretty consistent trait among the prideful students of NRC. They demonstrate this in different ways (Rook is secretive, the twins claim they would throw Azul away if he becomes boring, Jamil represses his desire to be free while serving Kalim, Cater does not outright tell Trey he wants to be besties but implies he wishes Trey were as close with him as he is with Riddle, etc.). Very few are willing to allow themselves to be vulnerable with one another, and this feeds into a lack of “deep and intimate conversations” amongst all of them, not just between Silver and his peers.

That being said, I do not believe that Silver generally has issues expressing himself. In fact, I would actually argue for the opposite: that Silver is one of the more open students (at least when it comes to his feelings). He has talked about his deep love and respect for his father on multiple occasions. He has many animal companions whom he communicates with. He has given various speeches about how he wishes for a world in which living beings of all races and live happily together. (This last example was vital in Fairy Gala: If; it was Silver’s heartfelt words that moved the pixies to return what they had originally taken from NRC.) He has said on more than one occasion that be is thankful for his father and owes him a debt, that he must somehow “repay” Lilia. He becomes concerned about not being alert and that others may think of him as rude for falling asleep mid-conversation and seeks to correct this. He also worries about his classmates thinking of him as scary and emotionless (and, again, tries to solve this problem). He sees the best in others, he lets them know it (for example, assuming that Jamil is worried about Kalim in Endless Halloween Night), and he gives earnest advice. He understands that Sebek’s abrasiveness is a way of hiding his embarrassment and expressing gratitude, knowing that, deep down, Sebek is caring—so Silver is patient with him and asks others to do the same. He has no trouble asking for help either (something which the other NRC boys have trouble doing). He openly demonstrates awareness of his shortcomings (such as how he always falls asleep at bad times) and is happy just knowing that others may lend an ear to him. He has a lot of tenderness that’s hard to find at NRC. Silver is simply earnest and speaks his mind, even if it can come off as blunt or perhaps a naive way of responding to the world. He has a very simple way of thinking and forming opinions (Vil asks him what’s the most beautiful? “You,” Silver says. Azul asks him what he thought of the food? “Good,” Silver says.)—and his lack of facial expression certainly doesn't help in conveying his emotions, no matter how earnest they may be.

The one major time Silver actively demonstrates repressing his emotions is in book 7, when he stows away his true sadness for the sake of seeing his father off with a smile. He breaks down when he’s away from the party and with Malleus, venting his frustrations about himself and how he cannot even fulfill his father’s final wish. Silver apologizes to Malleus for his “unsightly behavior”, referring to his tears, indicative of a negative emotion, as something to be ashamed of. This, in of itself, is not odd. There’s always a handful of subjects a person may feel uncomfortable talking about even with their friends and family. Maybe it’s finances, personal flaws, or failures. For Silver, it’s in relation to his life span and “owing” Lilia. That’s nothing unusual; most people are not willing to divulge everything to their loved ones; there’s typically something negative or shameful held back. (For example, Deuce wouldn’t be so eager to tell his mom about the violent outbursts he had at school since he’s trying to reform himself. I doubt the OB boys would be eager to tell their own families about their overblots, etc.)

What I deem to be Silver's greatest strength is his empathy, and I think that comes across in how he communicates. When he's talking with others, Silver is entirely emotionally capable, willing to hear them out, and even lend his support. Where he falters is when it specifically comes to matters of his place within his family (which is not present most of the time; most of the time, Silver is in that default empathetic state). This is a point of insecurity for Silver, and it is a large part of his character arc in book 7.

One can say Silver repressing his emotions related to this occurrence is a learned response due to a combination of things. For one, he doesn't want to disappoint his father by ruining his celebration with tears. (Silver cares a lot about others, usually prioritizing them over himself, whether it's putting their needs over his own or literally throwing himself in harm's way to defend them.) For another, Silver, as a human, may have developed insecurities or a complex from having grown up in Briar Valley, a place known to have a very low human population AND a history of war with humans (meaning it's possible that humans are discriminated against). I don't know if the "culture" of Briar Valley had an impact on Silver's communication, since we ourselves are not fully aware of what this "culture" is or how people normally express themselves. Just because fae can be standoffish to outsiders doesn't mean fae are standoffish to other fae when Silver happens to be in the immediate vicinity. We don't really know if Silver has previously expressed worries about the difference in his life span versus those of fae either, but I'd imagine this is something he had to learn for himself and come to terms with, much like the discovery of his adoption. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this "fucked him up" since it wasn't touched on or implied prior to book 7. Because of this, I don't get the impression that it's deeply concerning to Silver until the point it became relevant for his father and paying back the "debt" Silver feels he owes. (Then again, I acknowledge that perhaps these thoughts were not shared due to Silver's... unique style of communication.) I’m not going to speculate about the sleeping curse since we don’t fully understand how it works and I don’t want to make assumptions while I’m still uninformed.

While it’s true that Silver had limited interactions with people outside of Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek in his childhood, I wouldn’t attribute all of Silver’s characteristics to “he learned how to repress his emotions from them”. There were many other factors that contributed to the kind of person Silver would eventually become. His level-headedness comes in part from having to “grow up” fast since Lilia lacks the homemaking skills to look after him. Silver had to learn to cook (have you tasted Lilia’s food?) and clean (have you seen Lilia’s room?) in his place, as well as look after their cottage home whenever Lilia left on trips. He’s the calm that balances out his father. I’m not going to comment on Malleus since I’m not sure how frequently he visited Silver (which would impact the degree to which he affects him). Sebek, however, is also someone that Silver spent a lot of time with because 1) his grandpa already knows Lilia and 2) there are very few kids Silver’s age in Briar Valley. The circumstances just worked out that way. This also exposes Silver to Sebek and his family, as they looked after him on occasions when Lilia could not. Sebek’s two older siblings and parents, then, are also people Silver could look to as models. Otherwise, he seems to have mostly lived in their forest cabin and interacting with few living beings aside from the animals. He states that he rarely went to the capital (which we learn is because Lilia is banned from there) and that he didn’t even go to a middle school (implying Lilia home schooled him before NRC), so… yeah, he’s mainly isolated in the woods. This grants Silver a lot of time to slow down, to be introspective, and to consider both his own feelings and those of others. His awkwardness, then, may come from his social circle being small and not having an opportunity to interact with people beyond it. This creates a lack of awareness for how he may come off to others, as he’s so used to how acclimated Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek are to his usual demeanor. Silver doesn’t realize that his stoic expressions can read as unfriendly to others.

I think there are flaws in saying that Lilia is the type of person to hide his true emotions behind a smile: it’s true from the understanding of the PLAYER because we’ve learned in book 7 that Lilia kept secrets from Diasomnia. Silver’s origins, about the war, why he’s in a hurry to leave early, how Malleus hatched, etc. We as the players understand that Lilia tries to hide his own pain and suffering from those he loves. But… the issue is that Silver doesn’t know this (so how could he “copy” Lilia’s penchant for covering up his true emotions if he never picked up on the initial deception?). Silver fully trusts his father and does not really suspect Lilia of hiding anything from him (excluding maybe the occasional prank). Additionally, I would not conflate keeping secrets and hiding own’s emotions with discouraging sentimentality in Silver. Lilia has hard conversations with his son (like in book 7 right before he handed over the ring from Silver’s deceased parents), and that shows some degree of emotional intelligence and vulnerability. Isn’t he modeling a healthy way of dealing with feelings here? Isn’t Lilia right here, right now, telling Silver how proud he is of him? Lilia is able to be vulnerable too in these moments, regardless of what other secrets he may keep.

Another discrepancy is that both Lilia and Sebek (the ones whom Silver probably spent the most time with as a child, since Malleus had to stay in the castle and be trained and tutored) tend to “hide” their real feelings with very emotional methods (ie covering up one feeling with another feeling)—yet Silver himself didn’t learn to use do the same thing. If we include Malleus in the count, he’s the more consistently “emotionally repressed” character but still has his outbursts of rage and upset. Silver does not “copy” this either. He and Malleus are both calm, yes, but they come from different backgrounds which could breed this calm personality, not necessarily from one mimicking the other. (Silver was mostly in his cottage, Malleus is as in his castle.) This is, again, why I say that it would be faulty to attribute how Silver acts in large part or entirely to Lilia, Sebek, and Malleus. He has been impacted by far more than them and does not pull all of his knowledge on how to socialize from his dorm mates.

The last point I’d like to bring up is that wearing your emotions on your sleeve isn’t necessarily a good thing all the time, nor is it the only way one can express themselves. You can show your love through acts (Silver often thinks about what he can do to best support his father) or gifts too (Silver mentions Lilia puts a lot of thought into picking gifts for everyone). From this angle, we can see that Lilia (Silver’s primary caregiver and guardian) has demonstrated and taught healthy ways of expressing one’s feelings too, and how Silver is capable of reciprocating in his own ways.

Now, am I saying that Lilia and the others were perfect in modeling emotions to Silver? Obviously, no. Misunderstandings happened—but what’s important is learning and growing from them. For example, Lilia failed to understand that Silver might be hurt to learn that he was adopted and thus Lilia acted in a callous way by laughing. But given how their relationship in present day is not strained, we can surmise that Lilia and Silver made up and that Lilia has become more attuned to his son’s sensitivities (as Lilia states that he can easily read Silver’s emotions). Lilia says as much in Malleus’s Dorm Uniform vignettes, telling Malleus that humans have different sensitivities than fae do. A lot of the values Silver had—such as the importance of unity among the races—must have also been instilled in him through Lilia and extensive talks. Again though, Lilia’s not perfect and sometimes he acts in ways which still earn Silver’s ire (Endless Halloween Night is a big one). Malleus himself also makes multiple mistakes when interacting with humans (overstepping with his powers, not paying attention to times, scaring them with his presence, not making an effort himself to reach out). Sebek regularly insults them despite being half human himself. (That’s a whole other can of worms; I’d recommend this analysis for my thoughts on Sebek and his whole deal.) But what I really love about the Diasomnia found family unit is that they balance out each other's flaws really well. Silver's empathy is a great asset to the group, as he's often the one settling disputes between Sebek and his peers or apologizing for Lilia's mischief. He's simultaneously the "heart" of the group and, to some extent, also the "brains" when the others need to be reeled in.

Ultimately, I don’t agree with the suggestion that Silver is “afraid of trying to be sociable”, is “indifferent to socializing”, or that “he doesn’t think he is capable of socializing”. I don’t think Silver would find long, deep, intimate conversations “overwhelming” either (unless, of course, it relates to his own particular insecurities. Recall that he has given those speeches about his hopes for all races to be united; that requires a degree of vulnerability on his part and Silver laid it out smoothly. Lilia has also had tough conversations with him too!). Silver is not a socially anxious person; I think it would be more accurate to say that he comes off in the eyes of his peers as someone who is hard to approach because of how stone-faced he is. Silver himself does not fear or shy away from socializing. He just speaks in a plain way to get his point across and because that’s how he communicates—it’s not the result of him wanting to close the conversation ASAP so he can get away. His sleepiness is another factor to consider (Silver worries others think of it as impolite), but it never outright discourages him from speaking to people to avoiding social interactions altogether to minimize the drowsiness impacting his life. He tries to find ways to stay more alert instead (trying to fix the root of the problem rather than a symptom of it)

I think an excellent encapsulation of Silver’s entire character is his Dorm Uniform vignettes; in them, Silver’s classmates express that they think he is unapproachable and that he has no emotions. Silver overhears these comments and becomes concerned that his peers do not like him, so he asks his friend, Kalim, and Jamil for help learning how to smile. We then learn through a series of comedic events that it is physically hard for Silver to smile or to make a different facial expression which matches his feelings more. What finally gets Silver to smile naturally is when he gets so lost in an activity that he isn’t even aware his expression has changed. Lilia and Malleus, who are watching him, remark on Silver’s uncanny empathy. Then Lilia says, “[Silver] conceals some powerful emotions beneath that poker face of his.” To this, Malleus corrects him: “I wouldn't say he actively conceals [his emotions], per se. I suspect he simply doesn't betray much emotion.” Lilia agrees: “I suppose that's fair. Not that I find him difficult to read, of course!” It’s then that Silver’s classmates realize they were wrong about him and they begin to act more friendly.

To summarize: Malleus outright says it in Silver’s Dorm Uniform vignettes; it’s not that Silver does not have emotions or finds it difficult to communicate in a sentimental way, it’s that peers tend to misread him because of his face and his frank way of speaking. He thinks a lot of the people around him and makes numerous attempts to adjust his behavior so that they are more comfortable being around him. He asks for help and offers help in return. His one weakness is not being able to fully come to terms with the fact that Lilia loves and accepts him as he is, that Silver IS enough for the family he now finds himself in. He may have learned things from Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek, but those three should NOT be held entirely accountable for Silver being the way he is. Several other factors played a role in shaping him to be the cool, level-headed knight we know and love. Silver is… Silver, and sometimes Silver is hard to read or struggles with self-acceptance! That’s just who he is, and that’s part of his appeal.

[kindlespark]

this is gonna be SO long and rambly sorry anyway i saw a post abt how babel does queer characters and it got me thinking abt why the tropes it uses would usually turn me off other stories but didn’t here

MAJOR BABEL SPOILERS //

i feel like i’d be more mad abt how robinramy ended up in babel if it marketed itself as queer lit at all or if its fans were going “WOW AMAZING QUEER REP” abt it. but no one told me any of that, so finding out they were gay was just a fun little bonus surprise to me. i get why ppl are eh abt robinramy not getting together/technically still being subtext (which i dont think is really true btw like the book literally says “robin was falling in love” but idk i guess if you were stupid you might’ve assumed that it was falling in love with oxford given how romantic some of the other language is (WHICH IS ALSO THE POINT bc i think robin’s friendship with ramy blurring into romance is why he romanticised like all his friendships/experiences in oxford BUT IM GETTING OFF-TOPIC)). i just think robin’s repression abt being gay was intrinsically tied to his attitudes on imperialism (wrt refusing to acknowledge anything that complicated his life until it was too late) and i don’t consider it a cop out or queerbait. like i genuinely don’t think robinramy could ever have gotten together without drastic alterations being made in terms of plot and character. plus i think it’s clear that kuang didn’t want to write a story with any kind of focus on romance at all, because it’s not that kind of book. there’s no successful het romance either, so it grates a lot less. the only reason romance is included at all is to show the ways in which white entitlement manifests. so the tragic way robinramy played out just made sense to me.

and i speak as someone who accidentally spoiled myself on You Know What in the middle of reading and i was like ugghh boooo dreading it the whole time expecting to roll my eyes when it happened but then when it did i was like. wow im actually not that mad LMFAO 😭😭😭 actually thematically the book sets it up so well that i believed that this was unfortunately the only way it could’ve gone. babel is about the loss and tragedy and grief that colonised people experience. it’s about the lengths people will go to to uphold empire and the lengths ppl will go to to tear it down like idk 😭 i guess it is bury your gays but it didnt bother me this time because i thought it fit thematically ❤️ i enjoy tragedy as a genre a lot and i would’ve made it gay anyway you know. thanks rf kuang for doing it for me so i didnt have to.

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY that i guess if you’re going into babel for the queer rep without appreciating that the story is fundamentally a tragedy it would feel like it’s just reusing tired tropes….. but i think the choices kuang made were rly deliberate and not in a way that feels like trauma porn or shock value. the book is fundamentally about the struggles of poc so the layer of queerness that was introduced felt like a subtle extension of the experiences of characters of colour in the book, and i enjoyed and related to it as a queer chinese person who kind of realised they had to prioritise their fight for the liberation of poc over queerness mainly because the idea of western queer liberation cannot be dissociated from imperialism and many aspects of homophobia as we know it was an export of christian european empire into our colonised countries in the first place and FUCK THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER TANGENT ABOUT HOW I THINK RAMY AS A CHARACTER IS EMBLEMATIC OF THE TENSION AND STRUGGLE THAT QUEER POC DIASPORA HAVE BETWEEN OUR IDENTITIES GODDAMNIT OK FORGET IT POST CANCELLED i just rly think babel’s handling of queer characters is fine and makes sense and i like it personally and maybe i will make a coherent analysis about it one day but that day is not today byeeeeeee

[kadextra]

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about current lore, so it’s time to ramble my thoughts/theories/analysis whatever you wanna call it >:D

(long post get ready)

Alright, let’s talk about q!Cellbit… there is a lot happening with him rn. It’s been so crazy keeping up with all the enigmas lately

(these next thoughts about the character will all be centered on the idea that this is indeed him doing the worker murders, and he’s not being framed.)

His emotional state is unrestrained, and returning to past ways of violent behavior from the days of war and prison. he’s not repressing his feelings anymore, no more holding back. I could go on about these emotions and what they mean for him, but instead I’m gonna talk about the strategic reason I think q!Cellbit would want to kill the workers to begin with. I strongly believe that even if he’s in madness, no way is he mindless. his intelligence is sharp like the point of a dagger, and aimed straight at the federation. this is a plot of revenge on the “little bear” after all. “his toys will keep falling until he pays for everything.”

This is a guy that’s always careful about not leaving traces in all the investigative work he does, but here q!Cellbit is choosing to leave the bodies around the main spawn area where everyone can see, complete with encrypted messages next to them meant for Cucurucho to read (intercepted by q!Bagi) that so obviously leads right back to him. an intentional move, he stated in one of the messages that it’s a show and he wants people to watch- wants Cucurucho to watch, and hopes for the hunt to continue. though I think by being so obvious, he ultimately intends to get caught. ofc it’s not turning out the way he wants because q!Bagi is getting there first, but he is still set on a self-destructive path that I can only see ending up with him going down in a fight… but only after damaging the federation to a degree they can hopefully not recover from. which we know is his goal, he said as much in his last conversation with q!Bad.

Back then, q!Cellbit talked about how he realized that since q!Bad kidnapped Ron, it caused the federation to get into a lot of problems, he saw how going after the workers could cause some big damage. in the federation’s reports it’s shown how they had to put vital resources that would’ve gone to finding the eggs & pacifying the chaotic islanders into their own internal affairs, because all the workers were freaking out over the kidnapping. it was bad enough to make them need to hire psychological professionals to give therapy, send out people to search for Ron, and assign guards to the A-ranks so they could move safely around the island.

All the employees were already in constant fear over the past several weeks that they’d be the next one to disappear… and now here comes q!Cellbit turning the fears into a living nightmare.

Fast forward to today with workers being targeted left and right. as for why it’s only B-ranks? maybe because the A-ranks are too hard to catch alone right now (Bad also had trouble) but B’s are still a high level and can cause some major chaos as seen by Ron. and they just keep on dropping.

q!Cellbit’s building on this snowball of terror that q!Bad set off, all to crash into the federation and send it into even more disarray. it’s working. which gets even more chaotic when you factor in how he’s not even the only one doing something like this right now. q!Etoiles is unintentionally adding to it by breaking into federation facilities on behalf of the resistance and mercilessly taking out more workers. plus how the federation doesn’t even know q!Quackity has A-rank Fred locked in a jail. (or maybe the higher-ups know. tbh I still don’t know how qQ did this and still think the situation is sus. I have the theory that the federation let it happen as fred’s punishment for getting close to an islander)

Agent 18 told q!Foolish that all the employees are scared out of their minds right now with the danger of kidnapping + getting assassinated by the killer. they are staying shut inside the office cubicles and are too afraid to go outside alone. Agent 18 literally stepped out for 5 minutes, heard a small noise and it was enough to send them running back to hide

it’s clear that the federation workforce is now in shambles, and honestly I wonder how many might be getting disillusioned with the federation’s ability to protect them…. because yeah they are very weak right now. which is why I believe the federation has been introducing all this new tech to cut the losses: Minimes to give the workers an army as protection (failed because it was stolen by the islanders) and Cucuruchito placed at spawn, one of the main islander meeting points, and where it just so happens the worker murders are

Cucurchito is intended to passively gather intel for the federation, which I think they’re in dire need of because I am seriously doubting in the federation’s ability to know anything about what’s happening in these current events. they are in a rough state, just as confused as we are about where the eggs disappeared to, the islanders are all going crazy. they don’t know what the dark matter is and also somehow lost the president in the nether, there’s an obvious egg who’s supposed to be dead running around which they aren’t doing anything about. they got distracted from Ron’s case, don’t know Fred is missing, who the culprits behind both that and who is doing the worker murders are. employee morale is below negative.

but everything is a-okay because they have this little creature now!!! he’s the perfect solution :3

okay that’s the end of my rambles :D

I love the lore and as always, hope for future events to be unexpected and surprise me!! it’s really nice to have theories confirmed, though I also enjoy getting proven wrong ^^ excited to see what happens next, it be chaos on these quesadilla island streets

[phantomwitch16]

So I just learned the Nanbaka ending. Safe to say that it was not what i expected and I wanna talk about it :,)

Warning to the many people who have not been able to make it past chapter 192 or only watched the anime, the majority of what i know is from TikTok's, the comments of the vids and what i've pulled together by myself and what i've seen on Pinterest. Plus, despite my like for the series, I don't know much, its been a few years since I've done anything with the series , there is a cut off point with the manga and even then i don't know if it was in any particular order.

When i first started the series, I felt like i had a good idea of where the series was going. Like as the series would progress, we learn the pasts and motivations of the main cast, like Uno, Rock, Nico and the others, while seeing Jyugo learn about the shackles and the man on the scar. Then at the end, some shenanigans results in our main cast of idiotic prisoners being released early or finishing off their sentences in around a year or two. but because they either grew attached to the prison or liked the perks of working there (annoying Hajime, anime and food), they decide to go back and become guards of building 13. With Jyugo possibly doing something like this each day.

But that didn't happen. Instead we get something a lot more different than what I originally imagined.

In the end of the series, we learn a lot about Jyugo's backstory, how he and the boys first me and more about the man who shackled him. As it turns out, Jyugo was never friends with Uno, Rock and Nico. They met him but they weren't friends, I think. Initally, I didn't think that he even met them before the start of the series until finding some of the fan translated pics of the manga on Pinterest (Search Nanmaka manga ending Jyugo and you should find something, just find one and keep on scrolling). All the memories that Jyugo had with them were fake ones that were inputted by the clone of the man with the scar/his biological grandfather, i.e. this guy, Hiiro, I think is his name. Hiiro with black hair, scar guy with white guy down here 👇

I'm not entirely clear on what they were planning initially but Hiiro was the one who inputted the memories and orchestrated him going to Namba and becoming friends with the three, who possibly have at least met them individually at tone point. From what I am aware, Jyugo was the clone of Mashiro Mutsuki's (Scar man), grandson who alongside his daughter's, Touko, Jyugo's mother. She died while she was pregnant with Jyugo and Mashiro kept her body so that she could be cloned and give birth to Jyugo.

There were bit and pieces of Jyugo's childhood, with him and Hiiro. And Jyugo was nothing like how he was during the series. He was serious, had no general emotions and all that and i think his clone body was falling apart or he was sort of shapeshifting. He only became somewhat normal and acts similar to how he does to the series when he put the shackles on.

But the shackles had another function and it was to repress his memories and powers. Specifically his memories with Hiiro, the scar man and what his friends did to him. Uno, Nico and Rock were brought in to teach Jyugo how to live in order to be released from prison and gain their freedom. And kill him some time before the series started. This was part of Hiiro’s plan but I’m not too sure about his reasoning. They did that, and when the shackles are gone we see the evidence of it on Jyugo's neck.

All this makes looking back on previous adventures quite differently. In short they were never his friends for a time but did grow close in the time afterwards and began to feel guilt for what they did to him. They eventually come to talk to Jyugo about it and apologise but at this point, it was too late. Jyugo remembers everything when the shackles break and is practically reverted to his previous state. And it leads to a bitter confrontation that leaves the three shaken. As seen below 👇

I'm not sure to what degree of involvement Nanba Prison and the staff there had. By all accounts, its seems that Hajime and the other guards were just as or even more in the dark than Jyugo. Upon finding him, Hajime treats him like he's always has.

The only moderately positive thing and relatively Jyugo related thing that the reverted Jyugo does is that he has a brief interaction with Hajime’s cat who he says goodbye to.

In the end, Jyugo disappeared from the prison with a splatter of blood left behind, leaving apparently with his grandfather. Then that's it. A very WTF kind of ending for a comedic series. It...honestly not what i expected. Beautiful art stuff, yes. WTF moments, yes. Hilarity, yes. A very bitter ending with barely any sweetness in it…neat.

[schrijverr]

Okay, straight Eddie Diaz, because - hear me out - trans woman Eddie Diaz.

Like it makes perfect sense in canon due to the fact that Eddie is repressed as hell, it can be about just sexuality, but I think adding in gender really adds to it. She does truly dream of having that traditional marriage with someone, she has just been casting herself in the wrong role, which makes it all the harder to figure out, because she is so sure that's what she wants, but it always feels wrong anyway.

It turns out, all the women she has dated felt wrong, because she wanted to be them not be with them. Plus, they never measured up as a parental figure, as a mother figure specifically, because Eddie wasn't comparing to what can be expected of an early stages potential step parent. Instead, she was comparing them to what she, Eddie, provides for Chris, and they could never be as good as a mom as her (but she didn't realize this).

((Also, Buck - bc yes, I am making this a little buddie - was able to fit into that step parent role, bc Eddie wasn't comparing him to herself, but let him organically grow into the role. Something Eddie doesn't realize until she unpacked a lot of stuff and realized her feelings for him aren't the platonic kind. She also realizes why she was so fuckign jealous of all his girlfriends, but always less bothered by his boyfriends.))

I feel like she'd be more masc (give me butch trans woman Eddie, please, fan artist out there, I'm on my little knees) and she struggles a lot with wanting to be a woman, but having 'masculine' interest and thus feeling like she can't be. Seeing Hen was both great for her and the cause of much confusion, bc she wanted what Hen had so bad, but also not entirely, because she isn't a lesbian and she had no clue what that meant when she first started working with the 118.

She has a hyper-masculine phase (mustache Eddie, why xp), really leaning into 'being a man' to run away from the feelings, because that is a mood. This isn't a great time for Eddie, because she does still like her masculine hobbies, as mentioned above, so it's confusing and she semi-gaslights herself into thinking she is imagining it. Until one day she shaves and is like, huh, I forgot how much I liked the clean shaven look and suddenly that triggers a whole set of revelations.

She keeps the short hair, but changes the shaping off it slightly so it softens her face more. She also is a jeans girly through and through, though comfy leggings definitely start making their way into the rotation after Maddie introduced her to them. Eddie does change the cut of her jeans slightly to be less tight at the crotch area, but she does like jeans that emphasize her butt, bc she has a great ass and that makes her feel good about herself. Overall, she isn't big on skirts, but wears dresses when there is an occasion.

Also, she has height dysphoria, which also upsets her, because all the heels look fun, she doesn't care that Hen claims they're the devil's shoes. ((Buck being taller makes Eddie so euphoric, before she realizes what is making her dysphoric exactly, she'd continuously be in his space, because he makes her feel a little shorter. When on dates, she sometimes can pull out heels and Buck will wear thicker soles so she can, sliding an arm around her waist and tucking her into his side so the dysphoria won't creep back in)).

She doesn't tell her parents at first, but she does tell her sisters, who are thrilled to have an all girls sibling squad now. They give her some of the heirloom jewelry they got, which Eddie missed out on, because she was still an egg at the time. She totally doesn't cry... Maybe a little.

Eddie is not a make up girl, however. She really tried to get into it, especially to cover the five-o'clock shadow, but it always looked weird and it isn't practical with her job. When they have a party, she'll put on some mascara and try with contour to add a little different shaping to her jaw and cheeks, but she never gets into it as much as she thought she would. She does not say no to getting manny paddies with Athena and May from time to time. Having nice nails is a great source of gender euphoria.

It was a little hard on Chris for Eddie to be mom too and Eddie had a whole crisis about what if this is repeating Kim, but in a different font and I am actually trying to replace Shannon? She has a lot of solo therapy and the two go to family therapy. Chris is never a dick about it, just a kid working through his trauma (don't be mean). When they have worked through it, Chris is her number one hype man, even though he's an awkward teen about it. His stumbling compliments are always her favorite and she carries them with her in her heart.

Anyway, just straight trans woman Eddie <3

[dreamwreaver]

You are so right! I'm the anon who talked about my theories, and I agree with everything you said!

There is also that ONE tidbit that hints to Charlastor in the future possibly. The most important person Alastor would do anything for, and I feel that it's Charlie. I've seen others be like, Rosie, his Mom, Nifty.... but to be honest if it was any of them, Amir + everyone would be able to say it really. Who is Alastor doing things for so far in season 1? 🧐 he even made his friend Mimzy leave the hotel because she brought chaos to it, and if he wanted to show off to Charlie, for manipulative purposes, he would have did that in front of her. Ofc we need more evidence in season 2.

In my delulu brain, Charlastor /might/ be codependent on the other? It's not gonna be healthy obviously, but imagine 🧐 maybe like Stolilz? I've seen people show side by side scenes

For Vaggie and Charlie, I feel if they had more episodes, it would of been better than the 8 we got. Originally they had 28 episodes planned for, but Amazon said nope!

For the RadioApple thing, is true, it's cute but it's literally just Charlastor. If Charlastor is just a father/daughter relationship, then why replace her in screenshots with her own DAD in those scenes? Isn't that even more weirder because they're basically confirming, there's something there, enough to put her dad in it???

I don't mind the ship, but constantly hating on Charlastor for being manipulative, toxic, Alastor is EVILLL. But wanting him to be her dad is counterproductive. Charlie is a full grown woman, probably in her 20's in human years and isn't that naive, she's just sweet and optimistic. People act as if Charlie is someone who needs to be babied by other people and is a kid, like no? What?

I doubt Charlie even took him seriously in that song being referred to as like a dad to her, she forgets about it right after and is focused on her actual dad.

Also Viv confirming, no Alastor don't see her as a daughter

If I'm being honest, that song can be seen as a: "She calls me daddy too." with how flirty he low-key was in it with her, or I'm being delulu brained again. Those looks weren't platonic ?

anyway, either how you look at it, if it gets revealed Charlie is his person and someone he *likes* not platonically, watch the blow up 😭

As for the discord, what's the link to it? 👀

If you have a tumblr pls dm me, I try to vet people only because there's a lot of stuff that's... well it's not gross but it might be too much for certain people.

Also Charlie is definitely alastor's person. It can be completely in a platonic/nonsexual way or it could be that he develops a crush. As someone on the ace spectrum myself I like thinking Alastor is demi, specifically charliesexual. Like he *needs* that deep emotional foundation to find anyone attractive (and it does resonate plausibly with how hard he tries to keep people at arms length) but Charlie is the only person who's ever been able to break through his walls and get that close. What's even funnier is that she's never doing it on purpose.

And then, quite possibly my favorite part; Alastor speedrunning 130 plus years of sexual buildup. Not that he's been repressing it, but slippery slope and all that. It's a total loss of control and I crave it, I want this big tough demon broken down and stripped bare and made weak because of the only person who'd never take advantage of that weakness.

Mimzy likes Alastor for what he can do for her. Rosie likes Alastor in part because his sensibilities align with her own and I do think they're close friends but she's been through at least two husbands, possibly 3 if that Franklin from the pilot was a husband that was killed. I think her appetite would be too much for him. Charlie doesn't expect anything from him. She takes him up on services he offered, only made a royal command just to avoid striking a deal with him in the first place, and accepts that even if she doesn't like his methods what he does is for her. She recognizes and to some extent, appreciates what he does for her whether it's fixing a clog or devouring sinners.

As for chaggie, I am not against the ship being canon on principle. Like I'm all for wlw main pairing canon ships. The problem I have with chaggie is that you can watch most of the episodes and not know they're a couple. The stuff they have going on is the same subtext people complained about wanting more than for literal years. I don't need them to have sex on screen but like, some pet names? Casual touching or sitting on one another's lap? Someone getting upset that hotel shenanigans are interrupting their date nights/putting a strain on their relationship because mostly Charlie is putting too much of herself into the hotel?

The also part of it that bothers me is that vaggie as a character doesn't feel... finished. Like, at least in the pilot her designs had elements that gave some sort of insight into what type of character she could be. Now it looks like she's wearing a hotel uniform. She and Charlie share a room, it's all Charlie in there. Circus motifs and apple imagery. It doesn't look like vaggie's done much of anything to make the space her own as well. Even her nightclothes clash with the decor; she's a stark white and angelic in a nightgown surrounded by hellish red in all directions. More importantly the pilot indicated vaggie had something of a temper when it came to angel's antics affecting the hotel's reputation. She would be like the benson to everyone else's mordecai and rigby. Except she isn't. Also there's the little annoying fact that you got mirabel madrigal's voice actor to play this character and she gets maybe 5 lines max an episode on average and two songs that are not her own. Especially the more than anything reprise. That one codes chaggie as more mother/daughter than that damn line in dad beat dad did for charlastor. They took the literal father/daughter song and applied it to the main couple. Make it make narrative sense.

People think I'm mad at chaggie because I don't like it. I do, I'm mad because this is frosting and everyone's treating it like fillet mignon. Not the year of Charlie's uncle Josh 2024. Steven universe did better back in 2013!

[orange-dreamzer]

Let me drop my craziest theory (lmao)

Might be long so I'm putting it under a cut

Nightmare reads a lot of books. That's confirmed in canon, and while I don't know what he likes about it, he still gets all information from those books! It's likely how he forms "experiences".

I'd imagine then that Dream is the opposite. I also like to think he can't read anyway xd he doesn't get information and experience from pages but from things he sees and does every day (even if some of those are probably going to be repressed)

Now there's a thing that's been talked about a lot, at least for me in my class, where kids that are on their phones a lot and don't play with actual real people, they become distant; they dont form experiences, they don't know how to communicate with others right, they won't know how to handle difficult emotions and situations because they never learned from anything

Books are different from phones, but I believe that it still had the largely same effect for Night. He didn't really talk or play with other people beside Dream (plus, the bullying aspect), and while he's introverted there's probably a socialization meter he has to fulfill. I know how it can affect someone when that meter isn't met, plus a large group of people (for him this is the villagers) doesn't seem to like you and the Only people you socialise with are people that always agree with you/were already close to you/however it's best described. It's going to drive you insane eventually.

While that probably changed some time for Nightmare after acquiring his group, it's likely still possible that he had been incredibly awkward with/around them the first years, and even after learning right he still didn't know how to handle big social situations. Not to mention that since he didn't exactly get any experiences on his way, he likely also can't handle big, complex emotions, maybe explaining part of his insanity?

It's why I believe that Nightmare still has a partially soft core, he's not exactly learned quite a lot in that regard. Dream has experiences and he learns, so he could handle those big feelings at least a little better. He's got some tough shell around his soul?

Yeah rambling over... maybe lemme know what you think? (!!)

[onlyymirknows]

What are your headcanons for Reiner coping with Bertholdt’s death? Do you think he actually has the time to grieve during the timeskip or is it only post-Rumbling that he allows himself to fully embrace what happened?

Hello! Thanks for the ask, this is my first on this blog 💖

I think he theoretically has the time to grieve Bertholdt during the time skip but I don’t think he actually does. Reiner’s main methods of dealing with emotional stress are repression and distraction. He basically ignores his problems by occupying his mind with something else.

And Reiner is presented with a really compelling distraction when he returns to Marley:

Fighting for his life and reputation in a brand new war is the perfect distraction from what happened on Paradis. Not just the presumed deaths of Bertholdt and Annie but also his immense guilt over the things he did.

I think the fact that he resorts to suicide the moment he’s confronted with the idea of going back to Paradis is a good indication of how little he’s processed his emotions.

That said, he doesn’t react strongly when people mention Bertholdt which tells me that he’s accepted it factually. But in my head, Reiner hasn’t bothered to confront the emotional reality of the loss (among a ton of other things) because he’s got his finish line.

In addition to that, there’s nobody for him to talk to about Bertholdt in Marley. Everyone back home only knew 11 y/o Bert, not the 16 y/o he developed into. Reiner also can’t admit to the fact that the two experienced a big shift in their worldview together (eg- island devils don’t exist.)

So it wouldn’t be until after the Rumbling that he has to contend with a lot of his unresolved trauma, including the grief of losing his best friend. (And potentially his love interest/boyfriend depending on who you ask.)

Best case scenario is his friends/family proactively encourage his healing and don’t let him run away. Worst case scenario, he goes full distraction mode (my HC is workaholism) and won’t admit there’s a problem until he falls apart.

Some talk about my relevant long fic below the cut

My fic is gonna be about the worst case scenario because I want to dig into the emotional aspects of his character. Namely his unresolved grief, childhood emotional trauma, and queerness.

Plus I want to write about how trauma feels, having been on my own healing journey. It’s kind of a vent fic that spun out into a full narrative that I really need to write an outline for lol.

It’s gotten a bit complicated with multiple POV’s/plot threads so I’m taking my time. I watched a video recently talking about the pitfalls of serialized fiction. I’d like to avoid some of the bigger ones, namely putting in scenes/details with no narrative purpose.

Not everything needs to be Chekov’s gun but I’m sure you know how it is 🤭 so an outline is gonna help a lot. But I feel pretty good about the main story beats! I could talk about my fic a lot more but I’ll leave it here.