#please you get this meme reference don’t you

[tonycries]

Ask your questions, [REDACTED], but remember - not all answers set you free.

How do you make your text/ titles gradient?

Patorjk’s Text Color Fader!! My life-saver frfr, I just use the steps of the tutorial provided here <3 However, this unfortunately can’t be done on mobile 😔

Where do you find the manga panels for your headers?

I usually find the panels and/ or titles on mangacap account on Twitter (eg. HornetPills, FAKKU, and lewdxvisuals). Most of my headers are from → “Lady K & The Sick Man”, “Infiltration! Agent on the Edge”, and “Hachisuka’s Family Kotoribako.”

How do you make your headers?

On Canva! I did a tutorial for getting that colorful ombré look right here <3

Where do you make your memes/ get those silly reaction pics?

I make all my memes on imgflip, and the unhinged pics - including the infamous werewolf ones - are mainly from Pinterest and stan Twitter. 

What is your posting schedule?

9:30PM - 10PM EST on Wednesdays and Sundays for my fics; and you’ll usually catch me answering asks from 1:30PM onwards and 11:30PM onwards the rest of those days. Tiny reminder though that I don’t answer asks on days I post my writing and for 24 hours beforehand (ya girl will be busy typing away something diabolical 😩.)

Why did you miss a posting day?

I try very, very hard not too n’ I miss a posting day very rarely - I promise!! 99% of the time it’s because I’m super sick, though, and I’ll let you babygirls know prior to that. Dw, I almost always bounce back on schedule for the next posting day <3

Are you taking requests at the moment?

Noooope!! Sorry lovelies, but requests are closed. I do take suggestions and thirsts where I’ll just brainstorm or add on to the idea if I really like it, however. Something that looks like this or this.

Where are you from?

Sri Lankan through n’ through rahhh 🇱🇰 Feel free to yap with me in my inbox about it!

What is your gender/ what are your pronouns?

I’m a girlie n’ I go by she/her pronouns yup yup 😌 

So then, why does everyone call you “daddy Tony”?

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE IT STARTED BUT DADDY TONY IS SIMPLY DADDY TONY 😈 DOESN’T MATTER THE GENDER 😈😈 (+ Tony is just what everyone irl calls me too so.)

If that makes you uncomfortable though, you can always call me simply Tony without the daddy part, or Toe knee, or Toenail, or mommy Toenail- you get the point. My lovely babygirls love to make up a lot of names for me n’ I haven’t heard one that doesn’t make me CACKLE just yet 😭

Why do you call your followers “babygirls”?

Ah, I’m daddy Tony and you all are just my babygirls heheh. It started off as a joke at first because I tend to start most of my announcements with “bonjour babygirls” even irl, but it eventually just grew to me referring to all my gorgeous followers as Tony’s Cult of Babygirls - took a page out of Geto’s book there.

I also tend to sift through a variety of pet names when responding to individual asks/ comments - like sweetheart, lovely, ml, gorgeous. etc. Do let me know straight-up if this makes you uncomfortable, because using those is simply my default.

Why didn’t you respond to the thing I tagged you in?

*SOBS* I’m saur sorry about that, I get tagged in a lot of things so either my notifications were clogged n’ I didn’t get it, or I simply missed it amongst everything. I love responding to things y’all tag me in, though - so send me an ask to double check!!

Did you see my ask or was it eaten up – you haven’t answered yet?

Pinky-promise daddy Tony’s not ignoring you!! If I haven’t responded to an ask, it’s usually one of these reasons: 

I get a LOOOT of asks daily - and while I do try my best to respond to every single one - I might take some time to get to yours. Please, please, please don’t send a follow-up ask about your previous one unless it’s really, really important, or until it’s been two weeks since I haven’t responded. That only adds more to my inbox, and I do answer before it reaches that point.

I might have gotten an ask that was very similar to yours, n’ responded to that one instead of both.

Your ask went against my rules/ it was a request (because my requests are closed, most asks like that end up written down in a doc I have. But they won’t be publicly answered until requests open up/ I just decide to write it.) Again: Thirsts and suggestions are completely okay – just no requests!

Your question was already answered in my FAQ - in that case, yippee I hope you got your answer, lovely <3

Sometimes my asks actually get eaten up by this site, and I apologize for that 😔 Like I said, if it’s been two weeks then please do resend me the ask!!

Who are the emoji anons that you have right now?

🧃, 🐹, 🐁, 🔮, 🪦, 🍙, toji titties anon, ⛸️, scribbler anon, 🌳, ♍, medicine major anon, gojo big cock gagger anon, 🫃, 🗣️🩰, <3 anon, orgy anon, 🐝, marketing major anon, 🫶🏻💕, 🧋, 🐠, 🐛, 🗣️🎬‼️, 😼, 🐇, ✏️, 🪶🧠, 🌸, 👀, 🧝🏽, 🌦️, 🌺, 🍭, 🌙, 🔔❤️⚙️, 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 anon, neuroscience anon, 🎀���, 🫐, 💋, 🦴, 🦎, 🦩, 🌱, 🫀, 🍓, CJ anon, 🐨, 🦤, 🐚, 💃, 🦇, 🌛, 🪼, 💤, 🍫, ⭐, 😈, spooky sweet tea anon, 🧠, 🧌, 🗣️, 🐄, corpse goon anon, 🦐, tiny anon, 🌟🦈, 💧, 🎱, 🦢, dewdrop anon, 🍵, 🥗, 🥠, :) anon, 🥥, 🐩, 🌝, 🪽🦦, (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) anon, silly anon, jester anon, 🐡, 🎀,  anon H, Marchailina, 👟, horny anon, b. anon, 🍰, 🪢, 🦚, lads anon, lads anon #2, 😻, 💐, 🐢, 🍣, 🃏, ex Nanami-hater anon, ovulating anon, 🐼, 🐜, 🦗, 🚀

Why do you scare me?

I promise I don't bite unless asked to!!

[sioneve]

what’s on my mind every time wien margarete pops up in front of kanon

[crossbackpoke-check]

i saw the d3 acha coho tiktok and saw your tag about how to spell s(h)(e)(a)(w)n and as I watched it with the roster pulled up next to the video so I could figure things out I HAD to come tell you that it was spelled 'shjon' because LOL. but then I saw your other post and saw that you not only already figured it out but you had a DIFFERENT tag about the 8-3 game last night. i know what game you're talking about; i listened on the radio. i've been sad ever since and it would make me feel better to tell you that you're not special - everyone takes advantage of our terrible powerplay and yet we REFUSE to stop drop passing. sorry you definitely didn't expect a salty shiny helmet fan in your inbox just please be gentle with us tonight. Christmas isn't for another month - stop lighting up our goalie :( although huge congrats on winning the tournament last year i was cheering for you so hard to defeat the Evil and you did :)

​feeling shrimp emotions right now as i try to convey the whiplash this ask gave me… first of all 🥺🥰😭 that you were gonna come tell me how to spell shjon and then 🫵 SAME GAME???

but GOD the experience of “listen i know—shhhhh shhh shhh shhh i haven’t even started yet—i KNOW it looks cool when you do a no-look behind the back pass. it does! when it works. you know what we look like when it doesn’t work? fuckin’ STUPID!!!!” is universal. me 🤝 you 🤝 yelling at our hockey team to stop doing stupid drop passes!!!!

(p.s. wish: granted! most of it was the fact that your baby goalie did better than [redactedx2] and that’s all the shop i will talk here for purposes of not doxxing either of us lmaooo)

[blue-orangeade]

[dipperscavern]

let's talk about warming cregan's cock 😇👫

like you have so keenly established, mf can not sit still. this is the warden of the north we are referring to. the wolf of the north. he is well experienced in battle, a brilliant swordsman and lord of his house. he's used to abstaining during battle and experiencing dire circumstances over patience. surely he'd be able to let his pretty girl warm his cock?

WRONG 🙅‍♀️ someone, please fetch me a comedically large red buzzer to slam. thank you.

he's so restless. your stoic, burly, reserved, and patient man - reduced to ragged breaths and gritting his teeth because he can't sit still. here sits his pretty girl, batting her lashes at him, "cregan, can i please?" and it starts out well enough.

but you're so warm. so sweet. maybe he should be working on something - battle plans or lordy duties that define his bloodline. cregan's got an active mind, ever analyzing and preparing. he's hyperaware of everything in that moment - the way you slightly move your hips, wriggling in his lap. when he makes a comment about it, you just pout, telling him you were "adjusting." 🙄 yeah girl okay you just wanted to feel the godly girth 3000

the way you softly sigh admist the quiet chamber. maybe you do something as simple as sneeze - but when you do, you clench around cregan. and he's losing his shitttt.

can someone please find the meme of the guy sitting at a desk with his blood vessels about to burst as he's sweating? because that is our lord stark.

he tries breathing through it, for your sake. i imagine you would be the one to propose it, for whatever desire and circumstance brought you to the moment. cregan is trying :(( it's just so hard. like him, TEHE. all he wants to do is flip you over and ravage you. just leave little bites and nicks along his pretty girl's flesh :((

this is torture for him.

- 🔄❄️

reverse. elsa. anon. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? BED EMPTY, NO NOTE, WINTER GONE.

okay but seriously i am so so so sorry you got lost in my inbox. please i beg of you, come back!! the ponderer has returned, and we miss u!! REVERSE ELSA ANON IF U CSN HEAR US PLEASE SAVE US i call out to the winds. if you return, you shall never be lost again. this i swear to you 💔✊

ANYWAYS. CREGAN STARK COCKWARMING. here’s your buzzer m’dear 🚨 when you suggest the idea, cregan is a bit perplexed. you don’t want him to make you cum as many times as you want? but you bat your lashes and ask so sweetly, and you don’t ask for much. plus, cregan is a warrior. a hardened, battle surviving lord — he can stay still for his pretty wife.

or so he thinks.

because once you sink down on him, his grip on your hips is like iron. you’re warm and wet and so inviting, and you don’t want cregan to move? gods have mercy. cregan is usually pretty held together, but his breathing turns all ragged and his gaze is glued to where his [REDACTED] meets your [CONTENT DELETED]. and even worse, you’re relishing in his loss of self control.

even so, he tries to be so good for you.

it gets easier over time, and when cregan feels you relax and sigh against him, he thinks it’s not so bad after all. cregan is in control, and things are okay. until a few minutes later, you sneeze. you clench around him, and he grits his teeth, lax grip on your hips tightening once more as he fights the urge to move.

“This is torture,” he breathes, trying with all his might to stay still for you :( <3

[calisources]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences on these meme make references to royal balls, medieval ballrooms or regency, basically set during any period drama. You can change names, pronouns, titles and more as you see fit. Most of these were taken from different source materials found via google search. This meme makes references to masquerades, royal dances and partners.

Dancing, at its best, is independence and intimacy in balance.

Dance is the timeless interpretation of life.

Music does not need language of words for it has movements of dance to do its translation.

Masks reveal. They don’t conceal. Masks reveal your cravings, your passion, your deepest most secret desires.

It was you. I know it was you.

Look at me, Kia! Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not her.

And who shall you be once you don your grand disguise?

I don't like to hear you talk about yourself that way. Your scars do not define you, young lady. Your action do.

All the ladies must dress the same and the men have to find their partners. It’s a game of sorts. 

Even the smallfolk have their own version of the ball, at the steps of the castle.

Swoon, Dora. Every young woman deserves to swoon over the love of her life.

Dash it, Everton, how'd you know it was me?

A masquerade could have been a beautiful dance. 

 Oh, well. What's a royal ball? After all, I suppose it would be frightfully dull, and-and-and boring, and-and completely... Completely wonderful.

Each finds a partner, and upon the bell, we must change partner until we find the one we came to be. . .or the one we desire.

It has been a while since you gave me the honor to dance with you.

If the princess is not too occupied, I would wish for a dance, perhaps?

The Queen and King have to open the ball but the King is gone. No mind, I shall be in his place.

Sometimes in life confusion tends to arise and only dialogue of dance seems to make sense.

If we want our men to dance, we have to inspire them. 

 But with something more, something bigger, something that will give them a reason to want to dance.

But when balls are held for pleasure, They're the balls that I like best.

Will you be my princess for the Ball?

Keeping pushing, Andrei, and you and I are going to play a game.

Nothing like a ball to cheer a nation, give the old lords wine and the young boys the opportunity to find a nice woman and everyone shows up.

Where are you taking me? The ball hasn’t ended.

Royals is like a beautiful, broken angel: hard to look at, but utterly impossible to turn away from.

Attend the royal ball in all your glory and find out what fate has in store for you.

How many dances is one allowed before people begin to whisper?

You cannot behave like a brute. It is my duty to dance with every suitor. I am their princess.

I do not recognize you, my lord? Are you from these lands? 

It is bad luck to steal a princess.

Attend the royal ball in all your glory and find out what fate has in store for you.

There is nothing quite like dancing in the moonlight. It sets your soul on fire and your heart aflutter.

The beauty of a ball is not just in its grandeur, but in the connections it sparks, the emotions it stirs, and the hopes it ignites.

Just keep your eyes on me. No one else here matters.

I shall keep dancing with you until you stop being stubborn and go speak with me. Or you rather have people whisper?

The princess looks beautiful tonight, does she not?

Father, please, you must dance as well. Your dull looks are making people bored.

You promised me a dance when you were better. Are you?

I've loved you at every dance, on every walk, every time we've been together and every time we've been apart.

I can feel people's eyes on me.

Every time I walk into a ballroom, I know they are comparing me to Daphne.

You both get to choose your passions and adventures, while my beloved is chosen by me. And now I must join them for a dance.

Are you planning on running away when the clock strikes midnight? 

If you do wish to go away, I know a spot, secluded enough.

You wish for me to go with you, alone, unchaperoned. I am a maiden, my lord. 

Aye, but I am no lord, sweet maiden. And these masks allow us some privacy.

This is my last chance to find a match on my own accord. If I don’t. The King will do it for me and I would rather not.

 I'm only a girl, not a princess.

Believe me - they're all looking at you.

 They're all looking at you.

You are requested and required to present yourself to your king.

 I do not even know if that beautiful slipper will fit But, if it does--will you take me as I am?

 It would be an insult to take you to the palace dressed in these old rags.

How charming, how perfectly charming.

When I go back, they will try to pair me off with a lady of their choosing. I'm expected to marry for advantage.

Oh. Well, whose advantage would this marriage be of?

I hope you don't find our kingdom too confining.

I am. An apprentice monarch. Still learning my trade.

Our prince seems quite taken with her.

She went straight for him. You have to appreciate her efficiency.

Walk into the room knowing you are the best. Shoulders back, chin up. Their attitudes will totally change.

You dance love, and you dance joy, and you dance dreams.

The ball is about to come to an end, and you have yet not told me your name. 

I thought we agreed we would remain strangers.

I’m afraid my true identity would put you in danger. 

Have you ever been kissed by a stranger at the end of a ball? If not, let me be the first.

Put him on all the invitation lists, he's a divine dancer.

I’m afraid I’m more used to swordfight than ballroom.

You will ruin your pretty gown, princess. I would not wish to step on your toes.

 Silly, I am a great dancer, no one ever steps on my toes.

No. Let them dance. Interrupting would cause a scandal.

One of these men will be my husband one day. What a thought.

The art of husband seeking at it’s peak, during royal ball season. 

Maiden beware, a gentleman can become a beast when the bell strikes.

[iamconstantine]

arcane characters as college staff

Mel

History professor 

Refers to all students by (honorific) (surname)

Nothing but praise on ratemyproffesor

“I didn’t like history until I took Professor Medarda’s class” 

Doesn’t write scholarly articles, just giant ass books that she pumps out almost every year somehow

Quickly responds to emails. No response = its in the syllabus 

“Is there any make up work I can do to get my grade up—“ Absolutely not

But if you go the writing center you can get extra credit

Every year her students ask for an extension on the final project and every year she gives a long and furious rant about how the project was visible online from Day 1 and they had all semester to work on it

She has a beautiful office that looks like a miniature library and she only sees students by appointment

Jayce

Physics professor

Is a prolific author but somehow can’t figure out how to set up the course online

Prints cheesy physics memes 

Every zoom meeting begins with 1000 messages saying “professor Talis we can’t hear you your mic isn’t on” every. time.

you can come see him in his office any time, door’s always open

but his office is so messy you probably won’t be able to sit because he has a stack of papers on every chair

“Everyone got this question on the exam wrong so I’m going to give everyone credit because that means i didn’t teach it properly”

Always throws an end-of-year party at his place 

Caitlyn

English Literature professor 

would win best dressed of the staff, always shows up in the slacks-and-blazer fit

“To understand why the narrator wears red shoes, we need to take a look at the sociopolitical state of Edinburgh in 1864.”

if you reply to a discussion board post with just “I agree” you’re not getting credit and it isn’t up for discussion 

Never reads contemporary fiction. The “newest” book she’s read is The Great Gatsby

“We’re not having a party but if you want to bring snacks and soda to the last day of class that’s fine”

Covers a lot of authors but it somehow always comes back to Emily Dickenson

Is that teacher that assigns 400-page books every week

Constantly publishing in lit journals (rumor has it she writes steamy open-door romance books under a pen-name but no one has confirmed this)

Ekko

Art professor 

You have to actively screw up to get a bad grade with him

He wrote thousands of letters to the board until they caved and gave the class a proper kiln

“Write a three-page essay explaining why AI art is not art and insisting otherwise is spitting in the face of humankind. Double spaced. Due Friday 11:59”

Throws back coffee. Has a coffeemaker in the studio. Two of them. 

“Hey guys some of you are submitting assignments at 2 in the morning. It can wait until the next day. Please get some sleep.”

He’s created awe-inspiring pieces but if you just wanna paint a frog wearing a hat he’ll say “that’s cool”

Says he knows who banksy is but will never tell

He gets way too deep in the zone. Once reached for his coffee cup while painting, drank paint water instead. Didn’t notice.

Jinx

Chemistry professor 

If you email her the response will be “k” or “no” and nothing else

Waits until twenty minutes after the class begins to email everyone that class is canceled 

Never wears a coat, goggles, or gloves. But will call out students if they don’t

takes 5 years to post grades

“Look I’m not remembering any names. Too many. If I’m talking to you I’ll just point”

Puts a meme on the projector every day. Mostly incomprehensible. Picture of a horse on an beach and it just says “Zimbabwe”

lowest score on ratemyprofessor

someone creates a website called ratemystudent and administration has no proof that it was her because technically the students with bad scores being the same students that get bad grades in her class can be coincidental 

Viktor

Biomedical engineering professor 

Only professor who still uses chalkboards

First day of class is first day of class. No reviewing the syllabus, turn to page 34 in your textbook.

Puts things in the syllabus to catch people who use ChatGPT. If you’re caught, you’re removed from his class. Immediately. You will not get to plead your case.

Most of his cited sources are himself

Literally begs students to thrift their textbooks online instead of buying them from the school. Provides free PDFs as often as he can.

He reads journals every day and will write personal letters to authors he disagrees with

If a student asks a particularly dumb question he’ll step out of the room for ten minutes to compose himself and then resume teaching like nothing happened

Vi

Not a professor, works at the on-campus gym and leads clubs

Constantly curses without batting an eye. Students will leave class with their very uptight professor then come to the soccer club where vi walks in like “sorry I’m late guys i had a motherfucker of a headache this morning”

Please don’t ask her about anything that isn’t club or sport related. If you ask for directions or how to get in contact with student services she’s got nothing

If she refs for a game and you’re on the opposing team you’d better watch yourself. She will rip you a new one if you break any rules. One time a player grabbed one of her member’s mask during a game and he left crying after Vi was done with him

Students run into her at the local hangouts a lot but it’s never awkward. just reminds you not to party too hard before the game tomorrow 

Leads pretty much every club but dance. Wouldn’t admit it but she has no sense of rhythm and refuses to even do it as a student

You can call her coach or captain or just Vi, whatever you want. But if you call her Violet she’ll stare you down until you correct yourself

Heimerdinger

Anthropology professor 

Spends the first day of class getting to know everyone. “We’re going to go around and give our names and a fun fact about ourselves!”

Gives the “Nacirema” assignment and can’t wait to tell everyone the catch

His classroom is filled with artifacts. Don’t ask about any of them because it will take up class time

If you can’t make it to class he sends really nice responses saying he understands, then checks in when you come back

The only thing that puts him in a bad mood is the “why do anthropologists study dinosaurs if anthropology is about people” question. He’s old and tired 

Keeps thinking about retiring, keeps changing his mind

Silco

Political science professor

His classroom is bare and blank. No life. Just fluorescent lights and chairs.

Brags about how few people pass his class

Very strict on attendance. Too many absences and you’re out. 

If the assignment is due at 11:59 and you turn it in at 12:00, it’s late

“I am quite interested to hear why you believe you are deserving of a higher grade when you’ve spent less than thirty minutes attending all of my classes combined. Please, continue.”

Will straight up roast other professors no problem. Encourages students to pass it along

He encourages debate but the only thing students debate about outside of class is whether he’s hot or creepy af

Final project is a choice between A) A ten-page essay on why there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, or B) a presentation on why the country is doomed

Vander

Education professor 

Makes his own series of Crash Course-esque videos

Comes to class in jeans at best. Sweats, sometimes. 

He has one coffee mug that says #1 Dad and he refuses to use anything else

He puts fun questions on his exams, like riddles. If no one gets it, he actually gets sad

Whenever he erases the whiteboard he always misses a spot. He’s that professor.

If he catches you plagiarizing, you get one pass before he reports it. But you have to come to his office so he can tell you how disappointed he is and how much potential you have

He gives a seminar about how worried he is for the future of education and the wellbeing of the next generation and everyone leaves feeling guilty. Everyone.

Make a pop culture reference in class and everything will grind to a halt so you can explain it to him. Visuals help.

Sevika

Librarian

If you play music in the library she’ll walk up to you and just go “are you joking”

Have a phone call on speaker and she’s hanging it up for you

There’s signs telling you to be quiet every three feet

If you see her outside of school no you didn’t

She’s in charge of leading classes on accessing academic databases and she fucking hates it

Somehow knows where every book is down to the shelf. She’ll tell you what you’re looking for before you can finish your sentence

technically she’s supposed to do a walkthrough before closing for the night but if you can’t read the library hours on the signs it’s your fault if you get locked in

[psycheetamore]

Feyd-Rautha’s benevolent teachings for his favourite soldier

Summary: you are the favourite concubine of the na-Baron. After a gruelling day of battle on Arrakis, he wanted to wind down. But one of his most prized soldiers, Ivan, had again saved his life, granting him one wish to be fulfilled. And again, he chose to have you, or in any case tried to do that. The young lord tried to settle with offering entry to his annual underground rave, and one of his other concubines, not wanting to share you again. But Ivan was not having any of it. Where initially the men started to quarrel over you, it ended with them examining who could fuck you best.

Tags: the works – MDNI, Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen Is His Own Warning, explicit smut, Feyd-Rautha is physically imposing, Feyd-Rautha as benevolent teacher, oral (trying to dry her out and weirdly not succeeding in it), p in v, public, little ménage à trois (mfm), punishment, Feyd-Rautha having someone else pressing down their hand to feel the na-Baron’s cock, reference to a na-Baron shaped toy, interaction between concubines, dubious consent, no beta we die like duke Leto, the author regrets nothing, the author was set up to write this by @houserautha & @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal following a convo on the meme above I made recently

Word count: 5.4k

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“Ivan, you seem to have done everything you could to save me” Feyd-Rautha growled. Although it should have been his soldier’s task to protect the na-Baron, the former had learned that the latter would upkeep tradition that anyone who saved a member of the Harkonnen family could ask for anything they wanted. Which could only be refused through a battle to the death.

“I do not believe there was a second where you were not hovering around me” the young lord continued. “And” while the men stood to look at how Ivan had overcome a Fremen who flown from under the surface of the sand to kill “it appears as if you have succeeded.”

Ivan smirked, crow feet forming around the eyes on his tanned and quite rectangular face. This man did not even try to feign what he was after. Light brown curling hair and green eyes: quite the opposite of his master. Years in battle had roughened his body and face, but had never managed to remove his boyish twinkle in his eyes and lips. And that would not change now.

“We both know why you did that” Feyd-Rautha sighed. Laying his hand over the shoulders of this brother in arms, he asked: “what do you want this time? And please don’t ask me anything that will make me kill you.”

“Sir, you know what I desire, and you know what I will ask” he said, as the men walked back to the ornithopter.

Another sigh left the body of the Harkonnen heir, as he replied: “how about tonight? Join me at my gathering. You are my special guest. And maybe I can teach you a thing or two.”

Ivan nearly jumped, getting this honour bestowed upon him. Never had he participated in this infamous event, despite longing to do so after hearing many rumours. Feyd-Rautha wanted to continue his annual fête, even if he no longer was in Barony. Organised within the belly of the Arrakeen palace. A party, fuelled by spice, sounds and sex, continuing for multiple days. There were no limits, other than the darlings of the na-Baron. Not even the body of the heir was inaccessible.

+++

As you were preparing yourself for the evening, which required your participation, Feyd-Rautha stepped in your room. He always did this, visiting his different concubines, comforting that he came back in one piece, even if that was a given. As his favourite, he would first come to you.

“Feyd!” as you leaped at him and wrapped your arms around him. You knew he disliked you seeing his return as a special achievement. Still, you could not overcome the worry, and allowed yourself this little insubordination. It was good you were not yet dressed, as this hug covered you in blood – again.

Kissing him on the cheeks and hugging him, relieved he was back again, safely in your arms, you asked him whether the raid was squashed.

“Yes, it was my darling. I told you to never doubt me” he stated, with some displeasement in his voice.

“I am sorry my lord. You know I just cannot deal with the uncertainty, however small the chances may be of you being hurt” you explained with an exhale.

He petted your hair, as he said, surprisingly understanding: “I know. You explained it before. You know that I carry good protection with me, who has proven to be very reliable once again.”

You looked at him, perplexed. He was not one to admit someone or something had saved him. Your heart stopped beating for a second. The last time he told you something like this, you ended up being fucked by him and Ivan.

You still thought about that every night that you were alone, and also sometimes when Feyd would own you. You would close your eyes, and as the na-Baron was fucking you, you thought about how it was actually Ivan driving himself in you, relentlessly, punishing. Soldiering through. You had always found both of them to be very attractive. Knowing the pleasures the soldier was willing to bring you, made you keen to see him again. Who knew what could be the situation now, and why he had mentioned it. You just hoped it was Ivan again, who had saved him, and that he had requested your favours again. And at the same time, you felt incredibly guilty. The young lord had allowed you to live in a lap of luxury, protected and provided with everything you needed, including his own companionship. Unless you had acted up, he would always leave you satisfied, give you more than you could deal with. There was nothing to complain. But still, being surrendered to another man enticed you. Perhaps even more knowing the menacing na-Baron was appalled, or even offended by it. You felt alive. And having some hair to hold yourself to was also nice for a change.

As you gathered your wits to ask him, he had already wrestled him from under your arms, kissed your hand and bid you a good evening, only to see you at the gathering.

With a flutter in your stomach, you continued your preparations.

+++

Feyd-Rautha walked into the deep basements of his palace towards the source of relentless beats. He was adjourned by his concubines, two of whom walked next to him, as he had wrapped his arms around their waists. You were one of them, being fully covered in a form hugging leather brown one-piece, held together through zippers and buckles. He had opted for mere leather trousers, showing his impressive pale physique. Walking into the large basement area with the prince of the party caused you to bask in the limelight.

No time to waste, Feyd-Rautha did not stop to join one of the halls where guests were focussing on dancing. He went directly to the more scarcely lit rooms, deeper into the castle. The rooms where people found each other. Where they joined their limbs and became one. As you got deeper and deeper, less people were dancing and more people were groping each other, pushing themselves into each other, licking and sucking each other. In corners, trying to find places with more shade. As you got deeper and deeper light became scarcer all together, as was the case with people’s inhibitions. The sound from the party softly died down, allowing for the more physical noises to take over. Even if you could not see them, you could hear and smell bodies merging repeatedly with pleasures being found.

Nothing was off limits, apart from the darlings of Feyd, as well as the platform on which a custom bed was placed. You found your way through the mass of people laying on the floor, standing against pillars and sitting on couches while fucking each other high on spice, to find the matrass large enough to cater to a considerable number of people. Soft, sturdy, surrounded by poles. Curtains could be drawn, or not. Although it was not roped off, everybody knew this was truly Feyd’s territory.

He went straight for the bed and laid his tired body down to rest. You knew he loved to watch people lose all inhibitions, submitting to fornication. It made him feel safe, relaxed. He pointed at one of his other concubines and ordered her to take of the outer layer of her clothes. Watching her follow his orders, he winked to have her come stand next to him. He moved her panties to the side to push his fingers in her. “Warm and wet. You will do” and ordered her to sit at the end of the bed.

“Ivan, come claim your prize” he shouted, and as if coming from the woodwork, an excited soldier emerged from the shadows. “There, you can take her. She is ready for you. You will like her.” He turned around, as this conversation was now over as far as he was concerned. He wanted to avert his attention to you.

But Ivan was not having that: “Sir, the woman you offer is lovely. But, I want her” glancing at you, while both arms of the na-Baron were wrapped around you. “I have never encountered a cunt so velvety, so sweet, so full of desire.”

“Ivan” he said menacingly.

“Sir” he replied with a light tremble in his voice.

You heard a sigh, as your heart was racing. You were so close yet so far. You had been longing for Ivan. You had never expected to have this opportunity again. But the thought of him fucking another woman, mere meters away from you, it was devastating. You knew you could not plead to Feyd, you could not beg. But how you wanted to. Clenching your jaw to control your emotions, you decided to accept this situation.

But Ivan would not, and he moved closer to the bed, ignoring the woman he so brutally had rejected.

The atmosphere shifted and you felt the men size each other up. From the look in his eyes, you knew Feyd-Rautha could lash out any moment now. Before you could control yourself, you grabbed his face, turned him towards you and kissed him, dragging him into you. Knowing what you were doing, he shoved you away and leaped up towards Ivan.

The men started to fight and soon ended up wrestling on the floor. Rolling over each other, trying to get each other to submit. All, to be able to claim your favours this evening. How you were willing to share them with both of them, as you had a while ago, they would probably never know.

Panting, Ivan said: “I have trained you, I know your weaknesses. Keep your promise. It is always the same with you Harkonnen scum” as he pounded away at him. Ivan had managed to mount the young lord and was throwing punches at his abdomen and face. Some landed, some not, but Feyd-Rautha was pressed into the defence. You wanted to intervene. You needed to intervene. But how could you, without insulting your lord? You knew your concubinator would be able to salvage himself, but you wanted to protect Ivan. Winning from your lord would come with repercussions. He should have known that, but he clearly did not care, as he continued to fight.

So, you did the one thing you could think of, that should not get you in life-ending trouble. You crawled towards Feyd’s other concubine, who had been sitting at the end of the bed, nearly naked and alone. From the corner of your eye, you could see they were slightly disrupted by your actions, keen to learn what would happen.

Once you found her, you spread her legs to kneel between them, and started to kiss her. If neither of the men would entertain you, you would find someone else.

As you kissed her, your hands flowed down over her body, across her back, her waist, her hips, her legs. You pressed her mouth on yours, as you placed her legs further apart. Starting to push her backwards, your fingers found her folds. Still warm and still wet.

You wondered what kept them from intervening. Were they so taken in by their fight, that they would ignore this?

While in the process of exploring your fellow concubine, you suddenly felt yourself being torn off her.

“Woman, why did you distract me?” as Feyd-Rautha turned out to be the one holding your ankle, as he pushed you on your belly and slapped your butt cheek. “I thought I taught you to never cause any distraction” as he slapped you again. Feeling the leather surrounding your body was holding you back from feeling the true pain, he started to unbuckle the back of your jumpsuit. He needed to find your bare skin, allowing his hits to have their full impact.

But before he could continue, you heard Ivan speak to him: “sir, I believe that this night I get to implement your punishment. I saved you, and now I bested you. You need to keep your promise.” It was followed by a growl, and movements on the bed.

Soon hands continued to uncover your backside. “Milady, I am terribly sorry, but I must enact the punishment your lord has ordered for you.” He continued: “my lord, how many blows should she get for this?”

“Ivan, do you want me to kill you?” was the response that came.

“No sir, I just want to follow your orders. Ensuring discipline is key in managing both your army and your harem” Ivan responded.

“Ivan, I will not forget this. You will be punished.” He sighed, clenching his jaws out of frustration and spat: “give her 10” as you felt him fall back to the matrass again. “And make them hard. She needs to regret what she did.”

“Yes, sir” as he caressed your butt, before he started to hit.

You decided you would not give Feyd-Rautha the pleasure of hearing you scream of pain. The first slap caused you to bite your teeth. You could handle this.

The second blow resulted in you biting your lip.

The third strike was harder than the two before. You were not anticipating that and grabbed the covering on the mattrass to project your pain.

After the fourth slap you could not stop yourself and groans left your mouth. Your buttocks were turning red, the palm of his hand started to show and a fire was ignited inside of you. Laying bare in front of him, no panties covering any sights, allowing him to see right into your core.

By the eight slap your response had turned into screams every time his hand hit you.

At the tenth slap you were trembling, trying to recover from the pain, dripping from your core.

Ivan crawled over you, with you still laying on your stomach as you tried to breathe the pain away, whispering in your ear: “I will make it up to you. You have no idea how much I have longed for you. No woman could compare after I had you. I would give my life for a last fuck with you. I want to bury my cock in you, and stay there until I die. I want to be deeper in you than any man has ever been. I want to be so deep in you that I am lost, can no longer leave and are to life there forever.”

As he pushed his fingers in you, he continued: “you are so fucking wet. So warm. Hmm, I believe you wanted to be punished. Didn’t you? If I would not know better, I would have thought you had already come, so slick, so precious.”

From the back of the bed, a smoky voice shouted: “stop the charade, fuck her already and get it over with. You don’t want to keep your master waiting.” You felt the tension rising again, causing your heart to skip a beat. “And you know: you cannot come in her pussy. That is reserved for my cum that she will get tonight, if she behaves. But we are still a long way from there as punishment of this distracting thing is not yet over.”

“Yes, my lord” as he unzipped his pants, pushed your legs wider and drove himself into you while pushing your chest deeper into the matrass. You felt him fuck you without any gentleness, just as you had remembered. No build up, no soft beginning: menacing from the start. You tried to stop yourself from coming so quickly, but you were so ready for him. You had been ready for him ever since he had spilled himself in your ass a while ago.

In the aftermath of that first and last time, feeling his cum leave your body, as Feyd’s left your cunt, smelling both of them on you – it drove you insane. Feyd knew his concubines could have appetites he could not always fulfil as he needed to attend to all of them, so he had gifted each a toy replicating his manhood. You used this gift to satisfy yourself, with what they left as lubrication. It wasn’t as good as with either of them, but it was successful none the less, being filled and stretched by this correctly dimensioned yet larger-than-life replica.

You wanted to savour these moments. Cherish them. But your body wasn’t capable of stopping itself, and within what felt like mere seconds you came; barely being able to shut your mouth, as you would have otherwise moaned Ivan’s name.

 “Coming so quickly? Little needy cunt that you have. Didn’t your lord satisfy you, while I was away? You needed me, I see” he whispered. “Nice tight little pussy, all for me. I spoiled you. It knows it will never get a better cock.”

“I fucking heard that, Ivan. I can still kill you” the menace behind you threatened.

As Ivan kept driving himself in you, he looked to Feyd-Rautha and you could already imagine that he would say the most taunting things. Just like last time, when he chose a balancing act putting his life on the line to achieve his satisfaction.

He did not disappoint: “tonight, you will watch me fuck your favourite. You see how quickly she came? I can teach you that as well, sir. Or maybe you just need to give her to me.” As he continued to engulf himself in you: “you can borrow her sometimes, if you ask nicely” while squeezing one of your cheeks so hard that it left the marks of his fingers and nails.

You had learned to read men. To understand men. It was a matter of seconds before Feyd-Rautha were to challenge him again. But there was nothing you could do.

And you were right.

Ivan was pushed aside, causing him to leave you mid-thrust without a warning, resulting in a large thumping sound and a ripple on the platform. As you turned around to see what had happened, clenching your thighs together to keep the pressure on, you saw Feyd kneeling where Ivan had kneeled just moments ago, whipping his cock out, ready to replace his trainer.

“My darling” he said, as lovely as he could do that, tiling his head forward and gazing straight into your eyes, “you will need to tell me, us, who fucks you better” as he pushed you on your back, drove your legs apart and found himself where he had just caused emptiness.

Despite the perhaps deserved disciplinary actions inflicted on behalf of Feyd and despite all the efforts of Ivan, your walls still needed time to adapt, causing you to curl under Feyd’s relentless punishment. Your lord knew you needed time to adapt, you always needed that. But he did not give you that luxury this evening, no time to get accustomed, every centimetre he possessed was driven inside of you at once.

“Tell me woman, who feels better? Who claims you better? Who gets you wetter?” he growled.

But all sense had left your head as you were heading towards a new high. Something that would save your life. The only sounds you were capable of making were involuntary moans. It must have been a sight to behold, in front of his other concubines, in front of his subjects, fighting over a single woman. Neither of them made any effort to hide or somehow protect your modesty. There was only one thing on their mind, or perhaps two: best each other and find their own highs.

“Sir, I do not believe she will make for a very objective judge” while looking at you as you fell apart. “We need to find another way to determine who takes her better, who she hungers for more” Ivan suggested.

Continuing to own you, Feyd thought about this. The ever-benevolent leader, he had always been willing to learn sensible ideas from his men. He had no patience for stupidness, but he had grown accustomed and perhaps even had started to appreciate Ivan’s forwardness. Any other man would have already been laying to bleed dry on the floor for the insolence shown just this very evening, but not this man.

“What other way, soldier? How can we compare? Through her wetness? How quickly she comes? How hard she moans?” The young lord’s brain capacity was available only partially, as he was primarily focussing on you.

“Yes, let’s start with that. We cannot compare how much moisture comes from her anymore. She is already too wet.”

“No. You need to think in solutions. You can lick her dry” the na-Baron replied.

“We can try, sir”, an enthusiastic Ivan replied.

“No soldier. You do not try. You succeed” as he removed himself from you, allowing Ivan to proceed.

Your mind still in a haze, you could not help but feel that the young lord knew what he was doing all too well, as Ivan started sucking your pussy, starting the quest. A tiny moment that your eyes locked was enough to convince you.

The man’s tongue and mouth worked for your pleasure, even if that was not his primary goal. Not stopping but continuing. You could no longer recall where one high started and the other ended; it became one big wave you surfed high.

As was the case with everything between these men, this too became a little fight between them. Trying to drive themselves in to deplete the source of all the moisture, seeing who could achieve that first.

But in the process, they only enticed you to share more.

“Sir. I hate to say it, and I would love to continue, but quite unexpectedly I am coming to the conclusion that we may not reach out goal anytime soon. She is expelling too much of her liquid gold” after which he continued to fulfil his duty.

“Let me have a better look. Continue” his master said.

How he knew what he was doing. He always knew. A more cunning man than his cunning appearance even suggested. Knowing you were on full display did cause you to startle, but the delicateness of Ivan’s movements soon took over.

“Ivan?” he growled.

“Yes, my lord?” while continuing to suck.

“Why are your fingers in her cunt?” he said laced with a tone of annoyance.

“Uhm…” as he removed his fingers instantly. “A matter of habit sir.” He answered like he was caught doing something naughty.

“I will show you how it is done” as he pushed Ivan away.

“Sir, please. Leave some for me” Ivan said, trying to find out how he could participate without taking the pleasure of his master away. The men had fought in battle together, finding ways out while being under fire. They could master this situation as well.

“Ivan, you have misunderstood the assignment. If you are thirsty, grab something to drink. It is about comparing who is best at fucking her.”

The men stood up to start arguing. They had always added physical intimidation to their discussions. In the process, they started to ignore you, allowing you to recoup again. The concubine that had been sitting at the end of the platform moved slowly to you, lifting your head up her lap, petting your hair. She felt you panting. She knew how relentless the young lord could be. How he could push his female companions to their limits. She wanted to help you, support you, recover. She was a dear friend. In her arms you felt yourself slipping away into a deep rest, which was her trigger to try to get you covered up again.

As she started, you felt a hand yet again on your ankle, pulling you away from her, again.

“Don’t. Intervene. Ever” Feyd-Rautha said punishingly, causing her to scurry away. “I will give you your punishment after the party” he promised.

You would have been perfectly happy calling it a night, but that was not your destiny this evening.

Feyd-Rautha looked upon you, still holding your ankle. “Neither do I believe she will be responsive enough anytime soon to be a good judge.”

After giving it some thought he said: “explain to me how you fuck a woman on her back, and I will do the same. That will show us who is best.”

Ivan nodded: “I can agree with that, sir.” Looking at his lord, he asked: “may I?”

“Yes, Ivan. Here you go” as he gave your ankle to Ivan to position himself.

You decided to help out and spread your legs while placing your feet on the matrass. Ivan positioned himself between your legs and started his process: “sir, I would first of course check whether the lady is wet enough to have me. It is otherwise not pleasurable for either of us. But I will skip that for now, as she is.”

Feyd-Rautha hummed, as he had placed himself next to the bed to look at you, pushing his swollen cock back into his pants. He too needed to recoup, although he would never admit it.

As Ivan placed himself at your entrance, he continued: “typically, I would proceed quite gently. Allowing the lady to open herself up to me. Although it can be interesting to know I am hitting her cervix, it causes her pain, which again, makes it less pleasurable for either of us.”

“Continue” the na-Baron said, as he had placed his hands on his hips to observe.

“With the tip of my cock placed at her entrance, I do not need any support any more. A woman like this makes a man like me hard enough to do without any guidance.” He had placed his fingers on your folds and explained: “depending on how wet she is, I will either push her open with my fingers or not. Like this” as he showed how he would do that.

“But in this case, this little treat does not need that. She is wet and open enough already. So, I just push myself in, like so” as he did exactly that.

“With sweetness so ready for me like she is, there is not need for patience” as he started his relentless pace. You curled your back and grabbed the sheets again. It was all still so sensitive and here you were being slaughtered again. Yet, it felt so good, knowing also this was being condoned by your concubinator.

“I see. Not bad” Feyd-Rautha said with genuine interest. “There are however a few things you can improve on. I will show you.” Ivan left you and moved away to give the na-Baron room.

“You need to look at the state of a woman. This one here is nearly done. Or even done. She would like to curl up like ball” as he grabbed your hips and pushed his clothed hard cock against you. “Don’t you, my darling?” he said, for the first time in a while addressing you. Ever sensitive for your position, you knew what to say: “never, my lord. I will cherish all benevolence you have to share with me.”

“She is lying, Ivan. That is perfectly fine. I want my pets loyal. I want them to sacrifice themselves for me. For my pleasure. And that is exactly what she is doing.” Pinching your hips, he addressed you again: “a good little pet you are.” Looking at Ivan he continued: “I have fucked her bloody, raw. I have fucked her so hard that she ran out of moisture, and she still would not try to refuse me.” Crawling over you, he whispered: “because you know I treat you like a good master. And because you know you would not survive that.”

Standing up straight again: “the first step, Ivan, is to set the right atmosphere. Half of how well you fuck does not come from your cock, but from enticing their heads.” Moving his lips to your neck: “you would not survive that, because you could not live without my cock. You need it, as you need air and water, don’t you, my precious darling?”

You moaned agreeingly.

“Speak” as he placed his teeth on your neck, and applied pressure.

“Yes, Feyd. I would die without your cock” you said, still happy for the moments you got to replenish your energy, as you knew this was anything from over.

“So, that’s where we start, Ivan. With their heads.” He opened his trousers again. “With that out of the way, I will now proceed to fuck her. But, I like my pets needy. Yearning for me. They need to be addicted to me. This means I need to get her to crave me again. Her body will adapt. It will start to seek for a high again. And I will not be giving that anytime soon. The longer I delay their peak, the better their peak is. That is what makes my cock so addictive.”

“Look at how slowly I will push myself in her. There is no need for speed. Her walls are already tired.” Under Ivan’s watchful eye, Feyd-Rautha sheathed himself in you, centimetre by centimetre. “And if you pay close attention, you will see how she starts to move. She is now positioning herself to have me hit her most sensitive bits.” As you did exactly that, involuntarily, he pointed out: “see? How she tilts her hips, how she opens her legs, how she tries to draw me in by pushing her butt just out a bit? If I do this well enough, I don’t have to move at all. She will do all the work.”

“Sir. I must say that I am impressed” Ivan complemented.

“I will show you one other trick, Ivan” as he removed himself from you. “Here, hold her leg just a bit wider” and pointing at his other concubine: “you hold this one.” He placed his hand under your behind and moved you to the edge of the matrass, allowing him to stand. With your legs wide open, your cunt had no place to hide. Ivan could not help himself but dip his finger in you for a taste of the sweetness that had got him enticed.

“I will keep one hand under her back, tilting her backwards. The other hand will stay on her hip to help me stabilise”, as he thrashed in you again. Thrusting harder and harder, deeper and deeper. He hit the front of your walls with new found energy. It was overwhelming. Being taken by your lord in front of Ivan. The men competing over who could fuck you best. The deep vibrations coming from the music. Being on full display while your master taught his soldier. While your master taught everyone in the room. It was as if your mind had left your body, as you looked up the mirror filled ceiling of the platform to see yourself being fucked.

You saw your lord look at Ivan again: “if you pay close attention, you can see my cock protruding through her belly” his balls slapping violently against you. “Here, place your hand on her abdomen.”

As Ivan complied, he gasped. It was as if he felt the cock of Feyd-Rautha hit his hand. He felt the power that was behind each thrust. Knowing the distance from your entrance to where he had his hand. Seeing you unfold again in pure chaos, how you submitted to the na-Baron, how you were willing to break down just for his pleasure, Ivan could not do anything else but accept that he was bested: “sir, may I ask you to teach me?”

+++

After note: sorry, I could not help myself and add some Feyd-Rautha Managerial Examples. And yes, the favourite of our favourite is also Ivan’s favourite.

[7ndipity]

False Pretenses

fwb!Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Just how fair does the ‘benefits’ aspect between Friends with Benefits actually extend? Based on this meme.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: crack to fluff, suggestive moments and ending, swearing, Jk has side by side washer/dryer units cause it’s funnier, reader’s referred to as ‘Ma’am’, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! Sorry it took me soo long to get to, I hope you’ll still like it tho! (I’ll also be posting a couple more pieces with this pairing in the next couple weeks, so keep your eyes peeled if you liked this)

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

It was the type of text you had gotten more than used to receiving from him over the past few months, smirking down at your phone as you waited for the elevator in his building.

“Need you so bad rn. Come over?❤”

The heart was a new addition, he must be feeling particularly needy today, you thought to yourself as the elevator doors finally opened.

Since the two of you had established this new part of your friendship, it was rare for you to go more than four or five days without receiving some variation of the same short message from him.

You were still slightly surprised by his text, seeing as you had only been over the night before, but you weren’t complaining by any means. Though you may have enjoyed pretending that Jungkook was the needier one in your arrangement, if you were completely honest, you were just as affected by him, finding yourself missing him on the nights you didn’t spend together.

When he opened the door, you noticed he looked a little more disheveled than usual, his hair sticking up all over the place, as if he’d been running his hands through it, a habit you knew he did when he was stressed.

“You got here fast.” He noted, letting you into the apartment.

“Well, your text made it sound kinda urgent, didn’t want to leave you waiting too long.” You said, wandering through into the living room, slowing to a stop as you caught sight of the chaotic state of the space, cleaning supplies and laundry scattered around, furniture moved all out of place.

“What happened in here?” You asked, turning back to Jungkook, who was now avoiding your eyes. “Koo?”

“I lied, I didn’t want sex.” He said guiltily, looking up at you. “I need you to help me clean.”

“I-, what?” You blinked at him, unsure if you heard him correctly.

He slumped back against the counter, looking stressed as he ran his hand through his hair again. ”My parents decided to surprise me by announcing they’re coming to visit tomorrow, but I’ve done nothing but sleep since I got home from tour last week, so the house is a fucking mess and everything’s a disaster and I need help, please.” He pleaded, staring at you.

You immediately began pulling your coat back on, turning back towards the door. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Y/n, please!” He quickly followed after you, catching your sleeve. “I’ll do anything you want! I’ll buy you dinner, I’ll rub your back, I’ll even let you pick what we watch for a month!”

You paused, turning to look back at him with a raised brow. “Even if I want to re-watch ‘Our Beloved Summer’ for a third time?”

He bit lip, trying to fight back a pained grimace before nodding slowly. “Whatever you want.”

You stared at him for a long moment.

“Fine.” You said reluctantly, caving as you saw the genuine desperation in his eyes. You could never say no to him.

“Thank you!” He sang, catching you in a tight hug and spinning you around in a circle. “I promise I’ll make it up to you!”

“Yeah, whatever,” You grumbled as he set you back on your feet. “Where do we start?”

“Laundry room?” He offered. “It’s mostly done, I just need to vacuum behind the machines.”

Do you really think your mom’s gonna look back there?” You raised a brow, following him down the hall.

“She’s very thorough.” He said seriously.

“Fair enough.” You shrugged. “I don’t quite see why I’m necessary for this part though?”

“I was afraid if I tried to clean back there by myself, I’d slip and get stuck or die.”

“So you want me to slip and die behind your washer instead?” You shot him an accusatory look.

“No! I’ll hold onto you and keep you safe,” He smiled reassuringly. “You know, like the buddy system.”

“I thought the buddy system was for camping so you didn’t get lost or eaten by bears?”

“It’s a multi-purpose system!” He said, his earlier agitation starting to flare up again at your teasing. “Are you gonna help me or not?”

“Yeah, I’ll do it, pass me the vacuum.” You relented, boosting yourself up on top of the dryer.

He held onto your hips to keep you balanced as you cleaned, his mind beginning to wander as he stared at your ass, his fingers starting to slowly knead your flesh absent-mindedly.

“Koo.” You warned, shooting him a quick look.

“Right, sorry.” He snapped back to attention, ceasing his movements and focusing back on the task at hand.

You finished up quickly, passing the vacuum attachment back to him and letting him help you down.

“Thank you.” He said.

“You’re welcome.” You answered, looking around expectantly. “What’s next?”

The apartment wasn’t nearly as bad of a mess as he claimed it to be, but it still took both of you several hours of work to get everything back in order, finishing off with laundry and changing all the bedding.

“Why are these sticky?!” You asked, mildly horrified as you helped him strip the sheets off his bed.

“Relax, it’s just caramel sauce.” He said.

You looked up at him confused. “We didn’t use-?”

“No no, that was just me,” He explained quickly. “I had ice cream last night.”

“Without me?!” You said, clutching your chest in feign hurt, making him roll his eyes as he let out a huff of laughter.

“I’ll add that to the list of things I need to make up for, okay?” He said.

“Eh, it’s better than where my mind went.” You said, only half joking as you grabbed the fresh sheets from him and turned back to the bed. “Almost thought you were fucking around behind my back for a second there.”

Facing away from him, you missed the way his expression suddenly turned serious as he looked at you. “I would never.”

It was strange, despite the supposedly ‘casual’ nature of your arrangement, you both found yourselves making little comments like that, words and exchanges that sounded a lot more like things said between a committed couple, rather than just two friends helping each other out till you found something more serious.

“Alright, I think that’s everything.” You said, snapping him out of his thoughts. You had finished making up the bed, even turning down the covers for him.

“Thank you, y/n.” He said gratefully. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Probably called Hobi.” You smirked, making him snort.

“Now, you promised me food, and if you lie to me twice in the same day, I’m dumping your ass.” You said, earning another laugh from him.

“Alright, whatever you want, just like I said.” He said, leaning down to give you a quick kiss.

“Although, if you wanted, I could make up for my false pretenses from earlier in a different way?” He offered, eyes darkening slightly as his hands drifted over your hips

You lightly shoved his hands away. “Not a chance, Loverboy, I’m way too tired now. You’ll have to try and ‘make it up to me’ some other time.”

“How about tomorrow?” He said, eyes twinkling mischievously, looping his arms around your waist instead to keep you close.

“I thought your parents were coming over tomorrow?” You reminded, raising a brow at him.

“You could come over after.” He suggested. “Hell, you could even come to dinner with us, my parents like getting to meet my friends.”

“Friends?” You looked up at him skeptically.

“Yeah, what?” He laughed, squeezing you lightly.

“Do you let your other friends suck your di-?”

“They don’t need to know the details of our relationship!” He said quickly, his face flushing slightly, making you snicker. “You’re still my friend, one of my best friends actually.” He added, in a soft tone.

The way he said it made your heart twist in a weird way, though you didn’t quite understand why.

“So?” He asked, staring down at you hopefully. “Will you come?”

You chewed your lip, considering. It felt like a really big commitment to meet his family, regardless of what your relationship was, but you tell it would mean a lot to him if you said yes.

“I’ll think about it.” You said finally.

He beamed.

“Thank you!” He said, leaning in to kiss you again, his lips lingering longer this time, tracing over yours lightly, making you shiver.

You pressed closer to him, hooking your arms around his neck as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss, letting your tongue delve into his mouth as his hands grip on your waist tightened.

When you pulled back for air, his pupils were blown wide, eyes almost black as he stared down at you, breathing heavily.

“Take your shirt off.” You ordered, your breaths equally unsteady.

“But I thought you said-?”

“I changed my mind.” You cut him off, tugging at the fabric impatiently. “Shirt off, now.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn

[thewertsearch]

AG: I'll leave you alone soon enough. AG: I was just feeling pretty pleased with myself, a8out all the 8rilliant plans I made for you and your friends. AG: Stopping 8y in your past to mess with your head is really just a courtesy, 8ecause I like to think we're pretty good friends 8y the time I get around to killing you. ::::D

It's interesting that Vriska's taking the time to gloat about this murder. Sure, she's normally happy to bask in the suffering she's caused - but the difference here is, John didn't really suffer. He simply fell asleep, and woke up a god.

Vriska's clearly ecstatic here, but it's not because of the pain she caused; for once, she didn't cause any. No, I think what she's actually high on is she sheer satisfaction of tricking John into doing what she wanted. She just really likes manipulating people, even if she's not meaningfully harming them.

This is actually a pretty important insight - because if this is what Vriska gets out of screwing with people, then it might be possible, over time, to channel her desire for control into something more constructive. After all, murder isn't the only possible outlet for this desire - she'd be a hell of an attorney, for example. Terezi who?

GT: ok, you got me! GT: my feathers are all ruffled, and i can no longer tell my ass apart from a big orange earth vegetable!

I know this is a reference to the pumpkin seeds on his desk, but I don’t really understand what joke John’s making, here. He's sarcastically saying that Vriska's trolling is turning him orange, for some reason? Maybe it’s a Hussie meme I’m unfamiliar with.

GT: weren't you leaving? […] AG: […] I was going to. AG: 8ut now I guess I'm not. […] AG: 8ecause this isn't really happening.

We're visiting her ghost's Dream Bubble already? I mean, I always assumed that Vriska would be back some day, but I didn’t think she’d be back this quickly.

The girl can’t handle being benched for even a second, even when she’s dead. Good for her!

AG: I guess I must 8e dead.

Sobering.

[rashoumon-homo]

Y’all I recently discovered a meme template I made is going crazy on twitter and some other platforms???

For reference, this is the template and the version I initially filled out for bsd:

I originally posted it on Reddit and it didn’t get a lot of traction there so I was really surprised to hear it’s getting popular on other sites!

I think it’s especially funny how a lot of people are seeing the blank template and independently coming up with the idea of using it for bsd. I guess it makes sense, since I made it with bsd in mind lol

Anyway credit isn’t required when using it but I super duper appreciate it if you do credit me!!! (any of my accounts are fine)

Just please don’t claim you made the template :)

[jeonscatalyst]

Hey May! I miss you so much. I noticed you haven’t been posting alot recently and I miss your very insightful posts. Please come back to meeeeee (in rm’s voice) 😭.

So when you do come back (which I hope is soon) could we please talk about Jikook’s numerous inside jokes/ memes and how that is beyond proof of their closeness? I was rewatching AYS and I swear I was floored by how much they just get each other. The way certain things just comes very naturally to them and the way sometimes you can clearly tell they are holding back. I must say I don’t know what kind of relationship those two have but whatever it is, it is so beautiful.

Hey anon.

Over the past 2-3 months, my life has been busier than usual, which is why I haven’t been as active here as I’d like. I truly miss posting daily and engaging more frequently, but I should be back to my regular schedule soon. I also have a lot of unanswered messages in my inbox, and I’ll answer them as soon as possible.

You’re absolutely right about Jikook and their inside jokes or memes. This is one of the most compelling pieces of evidence of how close they are. It’s hard to imagine two people having so many shared inside jokes or effortlessly understanding and acting out memes together unless they spend a lot of time together and share a unique bond. The ability to share inside jokes or effortlessly pick up on the same memes shows a level of comfort and understanding that goes beyond surface interactions. Jikook find it easier to read each other’s cues or anticipate each other’s reactions, which reflects their emotional alignment.

One of my favorite aspects of AYS was seeing this dynamic between them. While it wasn’t the first time most Jikookers noticed their abundance of inside jokes, AYS made it more apparent…even to those in the fandom who usually overlook Jikook as a duo. It was impossible to ignore how their bond stood out. It’s also clear that most people around them don’t fully grasp their humor or references. For example, we saw Tae in AYS, often clueless about what Jikook were up to or even Jin who couldn’t help but ask what they were talking about when they were jikooking on Weverse a few weeks back. Let’s not even get into all the other times those two have left members perplexed at their antics. Jimin and Jungkook share a unique connection that stems from shared experiences and an emotional resonance.

There are many things people can fake, but the kind of connection they share isn’t one of them. AYS highlighted how well they understand each other, their shared interests, and how seamlessly they get along. This is something Jikookers have always recognized, but thanks to AYS, it’s now undeniable to the rest of the fandom as it was as clear as day. Those two share a dynamic that is distinctively theirs and this is a hill I am willing to die on.

[romanceclub-confessionss]

Confession:

Lately, I have become more bitter reading stories such as KFS and SCN (Basically all of Remy’s stories). It’s ridiculous how all of her stories now have taken place in non-white countries yet just about none of the LI of color appearances are designed to make them look like their actual race? Amrit and Saraswati’s reference designs were confirmed to be non-Indian models/actors. The only LI of color I believe (though if anyone feels otherwise please feel free to say so) actually looks like their race in the KCD universe is Kamal and unfortunately many are put off (rightfully) from pursuing him because of that weird a** age gap. And I understand Amala is supposed to be mixed but…let’s be serious. Then with SCN. I know to this day the appearance of ancient Egyptians is a controversial topic that seems to get people riled up but there’s no way you’re telling me I’m supposed to just accept that all of the LI in this story are passing the paper bag test. It feels like that one family guy meme (iykyk) and I know you can just say: “well don’t play Remy’s stories” but I think it’s completely valid that as a POC reader I express my feelings on the topic especially considering Remy is RC’s cash cow at the moment and she will surely be putting out more stories in the future. I swear if next update Anubis makes his first appearance and he looks like he could be Hunger from HS2’s long lost twin this will just further prove my point. It just feels insane to base your entire stories in these places, forming your plots around their culture, yet you don’t even want to make the characters actually look like the people who live there. And it’s not my place but considering I’ve seen quite a few Indian readers express their disappointment about how Remy has depicted their culture, it makes it even more bizzare.

[daiourage]

Hi. I’m in denial, so I’m posting some sketches I made because I’m in my annual common cold phase.

Based off of that one scene where Ruby and Sapphire reunite before you see them fuse into Garnet for the first time in SU ↓↓↓

(Edit: yes, this is based on the meme that this entire war would’ve been stopped if MegOp kissed okay—)

Also have some miscellaneous sketches because I’ve been thrown back into my TF phase for some reason;;;

There are some IDW references💕💕

I’m;;; a desperate man; also shippers come get y’all’s food—//shot

As always, please click/press for quality and for the full picture!!! Please don’t mind the shadows I can only sit in certain positions or I’ll start coughing—

(HOW DO YOU DRAW ORION (x2) also how do ppl draw Prime Optimus so cute ahdhwjjfnd)

(Also also I still don’t know how to draw the characters in my style yet so they’ll probably change as I draw them ;x; I’m trying I promis,,,)

[wrightfamily]

more here. happy april 19th

[ID: A screenshots of various discord messages, texts, and tumblr posts edited with Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney sprites over them.

image 1: Trucy Wright: *sending a meme featuring a picture of a young woman dramatically dying in the rain while another person holds her. the text says "she overdose on yaoi cocaine"*. Ema Skye: can i make a joke about your absent father (note: she is referring to Zak Gramarye). Trucy: yea

image 2: Apollo Justice, disgruntled: Just saw an adult man growl at a qr code on the wall (A translucent Phoenix Wright glares behind him, indicating it was him.) 

image 3: Drew Misham (called "Dad" in this screenshot): Have you ever thought of creating Nightcore anime images? For example: (the rest of the message cuts off here)

image 4: Trucy Wright: *grinning with her hands behind her back* Guess what?? We have a rabbits nest in our backyard. Apollo Justice: *looking at a sheet of paper* ok. Trucy: *angry with her hands behind her back* Does nothing matter to you?

image 5: Magnifi Gramarye: As chair of the wizard- [PARRIES A SPELL] As chair of the wizard counc- [PARRIES A DIFFERENT SPELL] As chair of the wizard council, I- [PARRIES A DIFFERENT SPELL] As chair of the wizard council I think staffs should be illegal during these meetings. Valant Gramarye: oh i thought this was the staff meeting.

image 6: Trucy Wright (with Phoenix Wright laughing behind her): I used to love ancient pottery until my stepdad bought me my first hammer. Now i smash that shit on sight.

image 7: Ema Skye: Btw if I say things like “by god” or “good lord” in posts please be aware I don’t mean it in a catholic way I mean it in a 1950s scientist reacting in horror after they create an evil creature in the lab set in the distant future year of 2005. Wocky Kitaki: io che nonostante sia atea dica “grazie agli dei” e simili perché si io non credo in niente ma miliardi di persone hanno religioni e dei differenti ed io non voglio far sentire escluso nessuno . Ema: im frankly lucky the above reblog is about how theyre an atheist because there is nothing more terrifying than saying something slightly blasphemous and seeing a paragraph of italian in your replies.

image 8: Disbarred Phoenix Wright: no context november. figure it out. Apollo Justice: *thinking* what is this in reference to. Phoenix: figure it out.

image 9: Ema Skye smiles and says "your boyfriend fits in a test tube. im putting him over the bunsen burner". Klavier and Apollo have distressed expressions behind her.

image 10: Phoenix Wright, looking off into the distance: were you the one that said 5 year olds should get jaw reshaping surgery. Kristoph Gavin, angry: what i never said that. (Kristoph smiles) i said they should get an eyebrow lift.

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes✦

(Bros I'm so sorry, I've had the biggest fucking writer's block. I'm hoping some silly lil meme posts will make up for it until I can write something substantial, I'msosorry-)

Y/N: Some of us, I don’t wanna name names, give me a headache when they speak and its- Soap: Is it me?? Y/N: No. Graves: Is it me? Y/N: …it’s not Soap- --

Price: I’m gonna make you a soup. Gaz, delirious with the flu: I don’t wanna be a soup, Captain… Price: …right, how about I give you soup instead? Gaz: That’d be nicer. Price: Right. --

Soap: What the fuck knuckles is this? Valeria: *holding her hyper femme gf in her lap* She’s my girlfriend you intolerant shit. Soap: Whoa! Pump the hate brakes Fox & friends. I’m just surprised anyone would date you. Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. Y/N, on Valeria’s lap: You know that cartoon? Soap: No comment. Ghost: No, I think you should comment more, Johnny. Soap: NO. COMMENT. Moving on! Gaz: We’re gonna circle back to that. --

Graves: I think the term you’re searching for is ‘current captain’. Ghost: The words I’m searching for, I can’t say. Because there’s a rookie *motions to Soap* present. Soap: No no, say it. I can handle it. Ghost: You sure? Soap: Absolutely, L.T. Ghost: *looks at Graves* Fucking donkey lookin’ muppet bitch. Soap: Brutal blow, sir. Well done. --

Y/N: *comes in* Hey, Gaz, how old is your captain? Gaz: What? Y/N: No not like that…it is, it is like that. How old is he? I came into base, he asked if I needed anything to eat. I said ‘eat what’? Gaz: Okay, first of all, put my plate down and stop hitting on my captain! Y/N: Don’t get mad at me! I don’t even wanna be here. Y’all the ones that want me to be here. --

NPC: Ohhh if I weren’t a lady, I’d deck you! Fem!Y/N: Oh please. Try it and I’d have you on your back so fast you’d think you’re on a date. Ghost: *spits tea* Price, covered in tea: That was so unnecessary- --

Ghost: Mmph. Y/N: Dark room, avoidant, you seem tired despite sleeping for awhile…you wanna try and get out in the sun or do you just need to be in the sadness dungeon? Ghost: *holds up two fingers* Y/N: Would you like some tea for the sadness dungeon? Ghost: …Mhm. Y/N: Tea for the sad dragon coming up! Ghost: Mmph. (Aka “thank you”) Y/N: No problem! --

Y/N: Ya know sometimes there’s times in life where you just have to sit back and go, “ya know what? I’m proud of myself.” Gaz: Is this one of those times? Y/N: No- Soap: *wheeze* --

(Shibari reference)

Price: …alright, when I said we needed to restrain him in a way that ensured he couldn’t get out. This is not- Gaz: These are not military knots. Y/N: No, they aren’t. You all suggested knots that he would know how to get out of. You told me to get rid of that possibility. So, I did. Soap: He is tied…to the ceiling. Ghost: You kinky bitch. Y/N: *shrug* Price: Where did you even learn this? Y/N: That is for me and my daddy issues to know, sir. Don’t worry about it. Just wake him up so we can start interrogating him.

-

Graves: We can rule the world! Ghost: *turns to leave* Graves:: *watches him pull out something of Y/N’s* Graves: WH-YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK MY WIFE Graves: GHOST. G H O S T Ghost: *leaves* --

Graves: Let me log into Twitter- WAIT, IS THAT GHOST’S DICK!?! Ghost: I fucked your wife. Graves: AGGHHHHHH- --

Medic!Y/N: Don’t torture yourself Ghost. *snips bandage* Medic!Y/N: That’s my job.~ Ghost, internally: Stayfocusedwecannot- --

Price: We’re you listening to me at all? Y/N: No I was fantasizing about beard burn. Price: Pardon? Y/N: Huh? --

Ghost: He died of natural causes. Gaz: You pushed him off the roof. Ghost: Gravity is natural. --

Y/N: Nuh Uh, no. I’m not doing it. I have self respect, and I will not stoop so low as to- Gaz: *brings out 100£.* Y/N: -oooooo*takes money* I’ll have it done in an hour. --

Soap, looking at Konig: That man is a tree. Y/N: Then I'm a fucking squirrel. Soap: On the hunt for nuts then? Y/N: Famished for them. Ghost: Why do I sit with you two...