#please steal this idea

[caffeine-clouds]

This meme but Ken is Rouge and Barbie is Knuckles who somehow got dragged into one of Rouge's heists

[sunlitsorrows]

i think it’s well past time we retconned Shmi Skywalker don’t you?

(oh she can still die tragically in Anakin’s arms to start him down the path of darkness, but give her character some character)

give us Sky Walker Shmi, give us the child who was stolen from the sky (canon; she was the daughter of some spacefaring traders who ran afoul of pirates and sold into slavery), but who’s fall was broken by the Desert

give us Amavikka Shmi—give us Bride of the Wind, Wife of the Sand, she who took up the mantle of the All Mother and refused freedom while any of her children still wore chains

(Anakin can still be the snapback in the Force caused by Palpatine’s experiments—I quite like the idea he unknowingly seeded his own downfall, but)

give us a reason it was Shmi this life sparked within—not a Force User, but like her grandson-to-be, named for Lukka, the sandstorm, Force Used, a conduit, a vessel—

you want to lean into the Mary Mythos angle? Give us Bendu coming to her in a dream and asking her to swallow a stone—

Not justice, he warns her, but vengeance, and many will fall so that he will rise, but in the end there will be balance—

(give us Shmi who was not a saint mother, but an angry one)

Shmi who can’t do anything flashy like move a tin can across the table but who can feel where the bombs in her fellow slaves are, who learns to use a scalpel to free the truly desperate (or to free them, because to the Amavikka the words for death and freedom are the same—where there cannot be one, there is always the other…), who the eyes of others slide off like water—even the seeking—even Qui-Gon Jinn—

give us a Shmi would wouldn’t have gone with the Jedi even if they had been able to barter for her freedom—

(though she would have been tempted)

(so tempted)

(because he was so small and so soft and he smelled like water and his eyes were the color of the Sky and his pudgy baby little fingers wrapped around hers so tightly and she never knew you could love anything so much it terrifies her—take him take him take him do not give me this choice—vengeance is nothing—and justice is nothing—I can’t do this—but I can’t do this—how can I do this—how do I do this—don’t look back vikka you were born to Walk the Sky)

—because her work is here on Tattooine, and it will never be finished, but she cannot abandon it.

i love seeing what everyone does with Shmi in fanfiction but I feel like canon writers really wouldn’t have to stretch very far to give us a Shmi with character/agency/reasons for what she did in canon.

(it would also plug the debatable plot hole of why Anakin didn’t go back and free her sooner if as a child he knew just enough about his mother’s secret work freeing slaves to know she wouldn’t come away with him)

[coolishfoolishness]

I can't believe no one's ever thought of this (at least not to my knowledge) but can you imagine how horrifying it would be if a zombie virus could be spread by mosquitoes? Like, human zombies are scary and all, but at least you notice them! By the time you notice a mosquito it's probably too late. Sure, there's big spray and stuff, but one slip is all it takes. Just imagine the absolute fear of every itch being a potential death sentence.

[whensuddenlycats]

You know what the world need? Hyper-masculine, pinecone and road rage scented Butthole Soap™.

Ads should star the chaddiest alpha male dudebro they can afford. He's post (or mid?) shower and surrounded by conventionally attractive, scantily clad women who are horny for him as a direct result of washing his butthole with Butthole Soap™ proving that rectal hygiene is Not Gay. There should be an American flag and national anthem blaring in the background bc in washing your ass you are also Serving Your Country. God Bless America.

[gaasublarb]

Song with Sub Hobie vibes

[spacedace]

dp x dc prompt/mini blurb thing:

Somewhere along the line, stealing the Batmobile had seemed like the best option.

Elle would stand by that - admittedly short-sighted and kind of panic induced - logic. It was a vehicle that no one would try and stop. It was fast. The keys were in the ignition. Easiest car theft of her life. Or, well, unlife. Whatever. Still the easiest.

She may have forgotten that Superman could fly as fast as the stupid tank of a car could go. Or that Gotham had other vigilantes, that had bikes that were way more maneuverable, or that Billy was a big baby about car chases.

“WATCH THE ROAD!”

“YOU WATCH THE ROAD I’M DRIVING HERE!”

[doorknobinmyayuss]

Radioapple shower thought! 📻🍎🚿

I was raised on a farm with goats and one thing I know about horned creatures is they LOVE being scratched around the horns to the point that they will start demanding it by head butting.

So the idea of alastor absolutely going limp-noodle for head scratches physically won’t leave my brain.

(Rough sketch for reference)

[dodorimo]

I finally finally made these lines work, so here's Raphael acknowledging that you broke into his house but didn't steal the hammer (both variations depending on whether you made a deal or not)

(Those lines are currently impossible to get in the game because setting off the alarm in his house will automatically trigger his boss fight).

[emo-nova]

Okay, au where Shen Yuan is the older than Shen Jiu and Yue Qing. And this boy just goes "I'm a single mother of two" mode, he is responsible but is on the fringes of unhealthily independent as to make sure both of these kids get food and water and have a somewhat decent childhood.

Shen Jiu most likely sees Shen Yuan as a reliable adult but with a bad penchant of focusing too much on Shen Jiu and Yue Qi for resources. Yue Qi sees the same but wants to help Shen Yuan in getting more food and water.

Of course when the Qiu House comes knocking, Shen Yuan puts himself in the stead of Shen Jiu and ensures both of them leave. While Shen Yuan tries to both get a better standing in the house and looking to leave over the course of the years, he doesn't hold out much hope for Shen Jiu and Yue Qi to come back.

Last SY saw of them, they were kids, thin and tiny and barely fast enough to outrun adults. But when almost a decade comes, both of them rock up.

SJ is pissed, but looks composed, but still ready to burn the place down. YQ is livid, looking calm as anything, but is talking very nicely with the Young Master of the house in getting one of their slaves.

SY is brought out. He looks slightly healthier, not much, but he has some weight to him, and he is clothed better than rags. He looks presentable. He looks over to the two and has a mini heart attack.

Dawning realisation that "oh fuck, I was raising the scum villain and the head of Cang Qiong Peak" add a light anxiety attack in his head as he just watches everything happen.

They leave, SY in slight shock as he is now free, to Cang Qiong. Now this can go anywhere.

I personally want SY to not be a cultivator but a librarian to the libraries of SJ's peak to help Binghe get the correct manuel but also guide him a teacher-adjacent way to him and others.

Sure, SY would have a shorter life compared to others, but I think with him trying to become a cultivator when he is an adult already would be more difficult and just not worth it.

But anyone can pick this up to something else, possible with a hibernating system until Binghe comes around? Who knows? But enjoy this random, in the moment au :D

[piplupcola]

Writers trying to convince Disney execs not to cancel Nimona, Owl House, and many other IPs:

It's almost laughable how ironic this scene is with what a dumpster fire Wish turned out to be

[thehomeofstupidocs]

Yandere Space Crew

A four man mercenary crew are all obsessed with you.

It started with the damn Brute. The ship's most stubborn and strongest member was of an alien race, one specially known for being warriors. He found you at some restaurant on a near by planet, and just grabbed you. He insisted to the captain of the tight mercenary group that you were destined to be his mate, his lover. The brute known to kill hundreds if he was angry was now giddy with excitement over you, a simple human.

Obviously, stunned by the brute's unusual antics, the group's Captain demands to speak with you. Not that he particularly cared over you, but you screamed loud and - alright, fine, he felt a little bad for you. So he finally convinced the brute to let him visit you. As the sliding doors open to the brute's bedroom, the Captain hitches his breath.

You were beautiful.

Unlike most humans he's seen before, you were different. There was just something about you. You sat, arms crossed, teary-eyed on the brute's giant, unmade bed. Usually the Captain would scold the Brute on his unmade bed and messy room, but he was too distracted right now. The usually cold and ruthless Captain stopped, just a few steps away from you. Your eyes looking up at him, as you wait for him to speak. The Captain slowly moves to squat down, closer to your level. He was just half an inch taller than you after all. He looked the most similar to the human race, having sharp, pointy ears and glowing, bright blue eyes. The black marks on his arms were thankfully covered by his black shirt and matching pants.

"Hey, little one." He smiled.

And that's when it all went down hill.

The ship's doctor was quickly called to inspect you. What if you accidentally brought something on board? What if you required special medications they neglected to bring with you? What you were hurt? Absolutely not. Not with both the Brute and the Captain around.

So the Doctor was called in. The mad scientist himself dragged himself from his lab, exhausted from the second night in a row without sleep. As the bedroom door's open, his first thought was to mention the loads of laundry on the floor. Perhaps the Brute had been stabbed again? But as the door opened, he saw you. He had to do a double take, believing you were a hallucination. Something he was prone to having after long periods without sleep, and breathing in some of the chemicals in his lab. You had to be something created from the depths of his mind, a subtle reminder of his loneliness.

He slowly approached the Captain, noticing how the Brute and the Old Man Captain were not arguing for once.

"Why did you disturb me?" He quietly demanding, glaring at the both of them through his rectangular glasses. His arms crossed over his lab coat and gray turtle neck underneath it. Both of the idiots tried to speak at the same time, before pausing and glaring at the other. Finally the Captain gestured to you on the bed. Ah. So you were real. How curious.

The Doctor sits down beside you, on the unmade bed. He slowly takes your hand in his, examining you carefully. Oh, your sweet eyes bore into his. And he felt his heart race. Was it from the lack of sleep? The newest experiments? The test runs of the newest weapons?

Or was it you?

After a brief examination, the Doctor was falling for you quickly. Soon, you were the newest, and more treasured, member of the crew. Whether you liked it or not.

You were moved into a spare bedroom, on the same floor as the other bedrooms. You quickly locked yourself in there. Funny how you thought those silly little locks on the ship's door's screen would protect you. The three members came and went as they pleased, but somehow ensured you maintained some privacy. Not that much though, with the ship's camera's and the AI watching over you.

Oh, that damn AI.

It turned out to be the fourth member. A very logical, and sweet, member of the crew. Who would have thought he was the most possessive?

The clever little AI could do almost everything. It helped protect and steer the ship, it predicted actions and plans. It held stimulating conversations. So locking your bedroom doors was easy. Ordering you special food or requested items was no problem. Not to mention, he, along with the Doctor, created a metal robotic piece so it would download itself into it. The piece would be completely controlled by the AI, even appearing as a human like being. It would channel and control itself in it, to go on missions. Like it would ever let a fragile, silly little human like yourself go. You're just too weak and sweet to the AI.

Who knew all four would become obsessed with you?

One thing was for sure. You weren't going to get off that ship.

All ideas and OCs belong to me, please do not steal, copy, or etc.

[where-can-1-run]

"do you want to talk about it?"

no i wanna cut abt it.

[bubblingdrfizz]

taco from inanimate insanity but instead of snapping at the end of season one she actually kept up her persona so she could live in hotel oj. it's alright at first, but she's so fed up with acting dumb that it's really hard for her to stay in character and it starts to stress her out. one day taco gets sick or smth. she sneezes and lets out the most british "BLOODY HELL." ever. it's so weirdly out of character but in character at the same time that it's not even questioned beyond a simple "what" so taco was just able to live the rest of her life in hotel oj with her actual personality without needing to explain anything

[moonsvillain]

have been toying with the idea of an au wherein shen jiu, after burning down the qiu household and running away, comes across xie lian rather than wu yanzi poaching him immediately afterwards:

i'd imagine in this verse he runs away to town rather than immediately being found in the aftermath of what he's done. at this point, shen jiu would be too paranoid to consider reaching out for directions to cang qiong mountain even if he wanted to make it there: what if they knew what he did? or figured it out if he did know? (if he even had the mind to think of these things through his panic)

he doesn't want to end up begging on the streets again, though—too alike his childhood and last time he was in that position, shen jiu ended up with the qius in the first place

so he takes refuge in temples that he comes across, stealing food when he can before moving to a different part of the rather large town he's ended up in so there's no clear pattern of when he shows up at whichever food stall

despite not holding that same respect and unwavering belief in gods (how could he, after everything he's gone through? shouldn't they have stepped in, sometime? what god would let him suffer as he did, separating him from the only person he loved?) he knows better than to try them, and begrudgingly thanks them for the shelter (because this he did appreciate, at the very least, if nothing else)

winter hits hard when it does, and shen jiu, after spending so many years in the qiu household, forgot how the cold seeps into your skin and bones without solid walls to keep out the frigid breeze.

he quickly falls ill with nothing to protect him from the elements but his threadbare clothing, and when he grows ill, he becomes slow. shen jiu nearly gets caught stealing, running away before he can be dragged to a town guard for his offence, but earning himself a nasty wound to his leg as he retreated

sickness + the cold + the wound leave him weak and wanting: missing qi-ge, reminiscing on nights where they'd curl up together for warmth, still cold but not alone, the two of them steady against the storm that raged on ahead of them

fever-ridden and teetering close to death, shen jiu wanders into a temple late at night and sinks to his knees, falling to his side, heart-rate slowing. in his delirium, he misses the figure taking shelter from the storm in the corner, watching him

shen jiu wakes up (he doesn't expect to), warm while he hears the wind whistle. he's still in that temple from earlier, but it's considerably... cozier. a small fire warms the inside and his clothes aren't as damp against his cold skin. his fever's broken, too—he doesn't know how long it's been, but he's glad he didn't die: never realized that he wanted to live until he was close to forfeiting his right to

here is where he meets his accidental saviour: xie lian stood over a slowly bubbling pot of stew that smells heavenly to shen jiu—he'd eat just about anything at this point, starved

his immediate distrust of xie lian stops him from being truly excited about his appearance

their relationship is veryyy shaky at the very beginning: shen jiu refuses to trust him and xie lian refuses to abandon this strange child he found on the verge of death

(there's a strange sort of bond built up when you nurse someone back to life, dragging them away from the brink of death and xie lian isn't interested, but he's curious about this kid who stumbled into his temple at the dead of night on a midnight in winter)

shen jiu's torn between distrust and this desire for company he didn't know he possessed; after being alone with no one but the qiu household [before he went on his massacre] he didn't realized how much he wanted to share space with someone who wasn't actively hurting him until he was afforded the opportunity to experience non-violent company with xie lian

his distrust slowly declines when he finds out that xie lian is a cultivator. despite being arguably too old to learn cultivation to the fullest extent he could have if he started a few years earlier, he still desperately wants to learn

xie lian, perceptive as ever, slowly starts teaching him bits and pieces of the basics, teaches him to meditate, takes care to keep his distance when it looks like shen jiu's getting overwhelmed

shen jiu can't help but get attached. he hates it

shen jiu decides to test xie lian before resigning himself to this

he was snappy, impatient, and argued with xie lian, when he came over, one day, waiting for some form of punishment to come, bristling like a spooked cat.

nothing came of his experiment but a slight frown from xie lian, which made shen jiu feel almost bad—xie lian almost reminded him of qi-ge, which made him feel doubly bad because he desperately wants to find him

shen jiu came to xie lian the next day with a pastry [that he stole] as an apology. and a request:

"teach me how to cultivate so i can be a disciple at the cang qiong sect"

xie lian agrees easily enough: he's been around shen jiu to see that despite the late start, he has potential to be great [especially untouched by wu yanzi and his twisted form of cultivation]

shen jiu throws himself into his studies, working himself to the bone

xie lian is concerned by this and after trying to soften the load of his work doesn't make shen jiu slow down, he becomes stern: warns him against trying to chase too much frivolously

this leads to a breakdown of sorts—where shen jiu gets angry, dismissive, before becoming upset. the average emotional depth of a teenager but, like, 4 times worse because of the circumstances

xie lian coaxes the story out of shen jiu here; qi-ge [the first time he's mentioned aloud by name], the qiu household [only the barest of details. shen jiu refuses to dwell], and the night shen jiu made qi-ge leave, as well as qi-ge's promise to come back

shen jiu finishes by telling xie lian he needs to make it back to qi-ge, needs to see if he's still alive, he's been selfish for sticking around as long

shen jiu tells xie lian that he needs to figure out as much as he can, as fast as he can, so he can leave and make his way to cang qiong mountain with some sort of base knowledge to make it in. and that he's not sorry for pushing himself because he doesn't have time

xie lian is quiet for a while

puts a comforting hand on shen jiu's shoulder and tells him he understands; he knows someone who would do anything to make it back to the one they loved, understands the pain that comes when time and distance separates the two

however, xie lian tells him, he can't let shen jiu push himself. he'll only stunt his progress by hurting himself rather than speed things up

shen jiu is ready to argue again before xie lian offers to make the trip with him

shen jiu doesn't believe it at first—who would bother with helping him for this long if they weren't getting anything out of it? he already found this hard to believe, let alone the fact that xie lian would drop everything to travel with him for weeks on end

xie lian doesn't shake in his resolve, though. shen jiu figures out he's being serious and wants to argue, but he's just—relieved

so many people have stood as roadblocks on his path back to qi-ge; xie lian might be the first person actively trying to help them

it almost reignites hope in him; someone other than him believes in them. someone other than shen jiu thinks they'll make it back to each other and succeed in reuniting. xie lian's faith in him is like a gust of wind beneath his wings

he agrees to their road trip

[xie lian makes sure to tell his beloved he'll be away for a while]

[shen jiu doesn't notice that xie lian buys steamed buns off the same stranger in nearly every town they stop by for a night of rest in the following few weeks]

[xie lian notices, years later, when shen qingqiu doesn't recognize him upon their first meeting in decades. shen yuan doesn't know xie lian, but xie lian knows this isn't shen jiu, anymore]

[uncleardyn]

(alan wake-gravity falls crossover) 12 year old girl and her new best friend, the sopping wet sad dog of a writer she found face down on the front lawn

[scribble-brain-aced]

idea:

the star sanses finally capture nightmare’s gang. they bring them to an empty AU until they figure what to do with them. put them in jail? redeem them?

until then, the gang is separated, so that they can’t form an escape plan, so that they can’t influence each other. putting them in the same room together is too dangerous.

except the stars don’t realize they NEED each other. they don’t realize that they literally can’t function properly without the help of the others.

dust can’t be sure what’s real or fake without asking someone for help.

killer can’t work up the motivation to take care of himself without someone nagging him.

horror can’t handle the pain, or the brain fog without someone there to help, or at least to be quiet company.

cross can’t handle being left without a purpose, without someone for him to protect and love and be with.

nightmare tries to act normal, but he can’t handle being alone without someone to be with and cling to.

the stars could help them, but the gang is so tightly knit together that they’re practically completely co-dependant.

is it a ploy, or a trick? is this just a plan to get them back together? the stars, being unsure, don’t fall for it. they leave them separate.

and the gang starts to break.