#poor boy will be stressed by the mere image of these two being on the same peak

[emo-nova]

Okay, au where Shen Yuan is the older than Shen Jiu and Yue Qing. And this boy just goes "I'm a single mother of two" mode, he is responsible but is on the fringes of unhealthily independent as to make sure both of these kids get food and water and have a somewhat decent childhood.

Shen Jiu most likely sees Shen Yuan as a reliable adult but with a bad penchant of focusing too much on Shen Jiu and Yue Qi for resources. Yue Qi sees the same but wants to help Shen Yuan in getting more food and water.

Of course when the Qiu House comes knocking, Shen Yuan puts himself in the stead of Shen Jiu and ensures both of them leave. While Shen Yuan tries to both get a better standing in the house and looking to leave over the course of the years, he doesn't hold out much hope for Shen Jiu and Yue Qi to come back.

Last SY saw of them, they were kids, thin and tiny and barely fast enough to outrun adults. But when almost a decade comes, both of them rock up.

SJ is pissed, but looks composed, but still ready to burn the place down. YQ is livid, looking calm as anything, but is talking very nicely with the Young Master of the house in getting one of their slaves.

SY is brought out. He looks slightly healthier, not much, but he has some weight to him, and he is clothed better than rags. He looks presentable. He looks over to the two and has a mini heart attack.

Dawning realisation that "oh fuck, I was raising the scum villain and the head of Cang Qiong Peak" add a light anxiety attack in his head as he just watches everything happen.

They leave, SY in slight shock as he is now free, to Cang Qiong. Now this can go anywhere.

I personally want SY to not be a cultivator but a librarian to the libraries of SJ's peak to help Binghe get the correct manuel but also guide him a teacher-adjacent way to him and others.

Sure, SY would have a shorter life compared to others, but I think with him trying to become a cultivator when he is an adult already would be more difficult and just not worth it.

But anyone can pick this up to something else, possible with a hibernating system until Binghe comes around? Who knows? But enjoy this random, in the moment au :D

[f4nd0m-fun]

Double Isekai Cryptids

@puppetmaster13u

Some images at the end BTW

@hallowsden helped me with this idea but basically...

||=====||=====|| Background ||=====||=====||

Gotham is a piece of Faerun that got warped to Earth decades if not centuries ago. While it's not connected to Faerun as much as it used to be, anyone there is more 'forced human' than 'actual human', at least in a general sense. If anyone happens to find themselves in Faerun though, their truer form or forms unlock, which can certainly be surprising for most. But as long as they're on earth, they seem almost entirely human, although it's best not to stare at a gothamite for too long, especially a stressed child (as those have the easiest time accidentally showing their truths).

Of course, Gotham wasn't the first planar warp, and wouldn't be the last. After all, the LoA were tied intrinsically to this as well, once a long proud line of demons, reduced to immortal humanity. No wonder Ras sought Bruce as a son-in-law, both his skills and his ties to the Before.

Alfred has technically been around since the planar warp, he just happened to decide to explore this 'new' world a few times, and see what it had to offer. Perhaps the closest equivalent to what he would be might be along the lines of an 'arch changeling' (essentially just an arch fey though).

What Thomas and Martha were, no one is really certain of, but after what happened with their first son, they tried for another. Unbeknownst to them, it died shortly after, and Alfred replaced the dead child with one of his own in an attempt to make his partners happy.

Bruce is a changeling. His parents suspected something was different, but didn't care to dig, they were just happy to have him. But when they died, his form glitched out, a partial change, the poor traumatized child being found by Gordon who was quick to wrap him up and out of sight until he calmed. Eventually, Leslie found out as well, but Bruce didn't find out for years.

Slade is a vampire. Not of the DC variety persay, but similar, just dampened by the lack of access to the Before. Due to this, his actions towards Dick caused the boy to be a hidden Dhampir, although his family already had a long line of dampened elven blood.

Jason is a Duegar, sturdy and good at tinkering, but quite used to darkness, although he may even have a little surface dwarf in him. It's not certain, but perhaps this is the true origin of that white streak he has.

Cass is a drow, showcased in her elegant movements and affinity for the darkness.

Tim is a probably a gnome, well known for their inventiveness.

Steph is a kenku, although that can change.

Duke is undecided.

Damien is technically a tiefling, altho the human in him is merely a mimcry due to the nature of his father.

||=====||=====|| Story ||=====||=====||

The exact reason is unknown, but Bruce and his children get scattered around Faerun during the events of BG3, Bruce taking the place as Tav. Due to the isekai plus tadpole alongside the fact that everyone got de-aged roughly a decade (time in the two realms runs differently), he has minor amnesia. As a funny not-funny, the Guardian takes the appearance of Joker, and Bruce is not happy. He's not entirely sure why he hates the figure but he knows he will annoy him as much as possible. He starts as a rogue, adds monk, focuses on monk, and then happens to notice he's apparently a warlock out of the blue? (more on that later) Idea is to have him Monk 5 Rogue 4 Warlock 3 (before any extra levels from mods).

Bruce 31, Dick 13, Jason 9, Cass 9, Steph 8, Tim 7, Duke 5, Damien 1

Jason and Cass are found in the underdark, and, even afterwards, keep (sorta jokingly) playing the twin card. Cass keeps calling Jason 'little brother' and he keeps telling her, and others, that he's older (saying how many weeks or months apart as minutes instead).

Dick and Damien are found at Last Light's Inn, having been kinda taken in by Jaheira. Dick still doesn't realize he's a Dhampir, just that he's been eating a lot more red meat. Meanwhile, Damien is far from happy in such a 'tiny, useless body' and gets into a habit of biting people (if he could speak fully, he would insist he's not teething, he's just defending himself!).

Not sure about the others.

Alfred, meanwhile, has been in a form much closer to his proper fey form recently. He spend a few Earth weeks letting the kids get up to whatever, then popped over and forced a warlock bond. Because of family among other things, it wasn't that hard to do without Bruce's explicit permission, and this way he can keep a better eye on his son. He's rather friendly with Withers, who likes to say that the After has made him soft. At the endgame party though, he shows up, and promptly drops into a more human looking form, although he feels comfortable enough around his family to keep a few otherworldly features.

||=====||=====|| Images ||=====||=====||

Human Alfred is slightly overweight and about 5'9; He has some wrinkles and hair that's peppered with grey; His eyes are a dark hazel; He looks like a standard human elder.

Mildly fey Alfred is a bit skinnier than would be healthy for a human and is roughly 6'5; He has a face of a man several decades younger and his hair has no grey; His eyes are an almost-glowing yellow; With double pointed ears and sharp nails, he looks even less human.

Changeling Bruce (mod) sticking as close to the appearance he knows, with some absurd proficiencies, still not sure how I ended up with such wild profs but it fits him. Starting as a rogue, with noble background of course.

Joker Guardian, Brucie will not be trusting him very much if at all.

[multistoty]

“Love, I meant that there is so much I need to do in order to be a queen that I can not mourn my father the way I did my mother,” Hope attempted to soothe not leaving her spot. It was the first time that dead and father were used in one sentence and it nearly broke her. The image of her child growing up without a father just as vivid. Didn’t he see that? Didn’t he see that they were more then just people now? They would have to use poor vhagar to journey between two realms for she would not raise a little dragon oceans away in wolf territory. No, aemond deserved to have a little boy or girl propped in the crook of his arm to tell stories to and call a princess. A little girl or boy protected by wolves and dragons alike. A small part of her was excited for her Ucle to meet Aemond. They would most likely be like cats first. Kol had been her best friend and playmate for most of childhood though he was called the wildest of Mikaelsons for a reason. Yet, he almost committed murder at the prospect of her being sent away to marry some prince they knew nothing of. She would have to warn him about the traditional cheek kisses before the boy cuts someone’s hand off. She supposed that she had more time to sit with the idea of impending parenthood. She’d spent the mornings purging her stomach and feeling lightheaded on her feet. These murderers would pay further for taking this precious moment away just as they had a new grandfather. A new member of her line even bookended by a Targaryen name. They would still be a Mikealson and she was certain her little wolf was a boy. He had to know what her father meant despite his faults. ‘Daddy’ had been her first word. The first time she’d been forced to use a knife to threaten someone had been ten when a nightmare had brought her to the blood soaked king asleep with one of his trusted guards looming over him. How odd to be a queen than feel more powerless. She had wanted to take Helaena but would never forgive herself should something happen while they restored order. Aemond smelled lovely. She’d file that away for later. Was thankful his touch seemed to soothe her soul and stomach. Klaus should have gotten to meet him beyond letters. She didn’t know yet if her father had dealt with those who had originally meant her throat to be slit . Hayley had died saving her child. Klaus had given her his crown and the bodies stumbled over it. She was still young and on her first child. It was too soon for all of this and this stress wasn’t good for mother or baby. Her fingers ran soothing circles down his form. For herself or him remained unknown. “I’ll need your emotional and physical protection, but you are prince regent as well and I want my people to like you. You can not fumble at any guy you meet with a sword readily strapped to his chest. For that is the fashion. And it’s merely a trickle of blood. I should hope that doesn’t frighten you and kissing your pregnant wife would not be so imposing on your afternoon. I thought you’d have more problem wearing the blood of a family you know by stories. Kol will threaten you. It’s a sign of affection and his opinion means the most to me of anyone in that castle. Should he not be drunk as hell with Aunt Davina chewing him out again. This will not be easy, and it will not be safe but I won’t allow my father to die in vain or without vengeance. And I want to show you the pleasures of my homeland. If there is one thing beyond the pain that makes me wish for the sweet mercy of deaths door. No child should outlive both parents. I will do what I must for our dragon just as I know you will, my love.”

Hope loved her birth home, but it would be hard to hear the laps of waves outside the Arbattior being an orphan. klaus was dead. Murdered before he even knew about his own grandchild. There was so much to worry about that she hadn’t even had the time to worry over the length of dragon back. It was more getting their and making sure Aemond did not commit some sort of war crime than anything else. There wasn’t time to be little girl who lost her favorite person. No time to imagine how the ocean would look refracted off his violet eye or how much crimson on him would make her want to drag him down for another heir of sorts. He didnt seem angry even with the fear. Excited even which helped her feel better Her face tilting further into the crook of his neck running gentle circles there.The feeling of his skin putting the artist at better ease. the soft brush of his own in her curls made the girl ease slightly. Queen and king of two thrones. And this child could not be known about until things were happier and safer. She owed the child growing in her that much at least and had vowed to protect his heart. Hope would have her own sort of farewell with her family once the dust settled. klaus was a loved father, husband, and brother regardless of his kingship.Queen. That word was much more than whispered affections or moans now. HIs comment about relaxed and calm mad her almost laugh. Two words that were the last thing in her mind at the moment. This all hung on her shoulders. He could help. He wanted too and she’d give him that even if letting anything or anyone else outside of her fingertips would help. An odd part of her was angry Klaus had died. How dare her father leave this earth so soon. let himself die, but that was the odd ways love found itself fighting for. While she knew well that it was his first child, Hope was glad to hear it once more. He deserved to raise his son or daughter in Westeros safe and happy. She would have to make sure that he had himself some sort of forged dagger strapped in eye line so many details could keep them off of the emotional journey with her father. She knew the honesty in his words even if she struggled to pay attention anywhere else than the soft nature of his skin settling her shaky ones. “You will not take a knife to the chest!” Hope roars. “Nope. My child will not lose a father so soon. Our child. If I am to rest, I need not worry about my foriegn prince getting himself into worries. - I’m so happy to be a mother. I feared I might never be but this could be a war zone. I was called the people’s princess for a reason. We are a team on all accounts always. I will help you to know how to help me. I enjoy bossing people around. It’s- people don’t talk about the pain that comes with these coronations and how your supposed to work and push through it. As if a queen feels no pain. I love you, aemond, and I will never be worthy of you or all you’ve given me.”

@whispering-collective

[strawbabysimp]

Sub!Kurapika NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare 

Kurapika is extremely touch-starved and even after getting an abundance of loving touches he still craves more. He wraps himself around you as opposed to the other way around, a constant reminder that you're there. He doesn't require you to play with his hair or any other form of soft caress, though he does enjoy it; all he needs is for you to stay.

B = Body part 

His favorite part of himself for you to touch is his nipples - though he'll never admit it. Biting his bottom lips as his gaze turns down, the action making him look shy but his eyes watch as you squeeze down on the sensitive buds. Kurapika loves to touch your hips, drawing small circles on them or digging his nails into them whenever you're on top of him. He can't help but cling to them, craving you close to him and using the area to do accomplish this.

C = Cum

You swear that this boy comes just so he can lap up any access that leaks out between the two of you, his eyes shut in ecstasy as he tastes himself on his tongue. He takes a mere moment to let his other senses fall away - all except taste - before blinking slowly at you through his lashes. Kurapika knows it's filthy but the way you look at him makes him feel beautiful.

D = Dirty Secret

When you first noticed him staring at a nearby shop window you hadn't given it much thought, but the slight blush on his cheeks and the way he broke eye contact quickly made you take another look through the glass. A smirk rose to your lips at what he had been looking at. Lingerie. You would surprise him later with panties and maybe even a bralette, both made out of thin material so as to be able to see his most sensitive areas through them. The tip of his cock would peek obscenely through the band of the fabric, wet and sticking to his shaft as he met your gaze with a lust-filled expression. Tears would pour down his cheeks later that night from pure bliss, the cum-soaked panties balled up in his mouth in a poor attempt at keeping in his noises. Now you both had a dirty little secret to keep.

E = Experience 

Kurapika may have been a virgin before he met you but his reactions would lead you to believe he was anything but. He's a true cumslut through and through. His moans vibrate off the walls and echo in a way that makes the two of you ache in need, seemingly not enough time in the world to stave off the lust you have for each other. He's shy when it comes to sexual activities but his need to be a good boy for you outweighs the nervousness(and even fuels his libido if he were being honest).

F = Favourite Position

Kurapika doesn't have a favorite position but rather a favorite feeling. He loves to feel at your mercy and be wrecked as he does. Whether this is accomplished with you on top of him and your hands on either side of his head making it so he can only look at you, or with his head between his arms as his ass is up in the air and your fingers remain buried inside of him as you rub against his sweet spot without clemency, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that he's not in control and his only job is to take what you want to give - even if he has to beg you for it.

G = Goofy 

Kurapika himself is rather serious, tending to cling to you for stability at the moment instead of going off on his own mentally in order to make jokes. Despite this, he does appreciate his partner being able to make things a bit less intense. He always flushes lightly, a small smile tugging on his lips when you make some remark(typically a lewd one). He feels love flow freely in these moments, characterized by the companionship and joy that the both of you share in such intimate times.

H = Hair

Despite what some might assume from his prestigious image, Kurapika doesn't always have the time he'd like to groom himself properly, especially during stressful times. But when he does get a chance to relax for a moment it's one of the first things he sets out to do, trimming the hairs down and cleaning up his thighs(maybe even his legs if he has the energy). He's blonde and fair in all areas and the complexion of his skin pairs well with the light hairs.

I = Intimacy 

Kurapika holds physical relations to a high degree, not one to easily let people in and especially not in this way. He hands himself over to you, putting himself completely in your care, and ensures that every time you two get together the act is filled with loving touches and sentiments. He's eternally grateful for your presence in his life and he fills every moment, sexual or not, with reminders of this.

J = Jack Off 

You two are used to spending time away from each other but that doesn't make it easy. For Kurapika, missing you quickly turns into mentally replaying all your tender moments together, and before he even realizes what's happening he's half hard in his pants. After assuring himself that he has the time, he trails his hands over his stomach and thighs before lightly gripping his shaft through its material confines. He whines softly as he imagines your voice telling him what to do, and the noises he makes only get louder once he finally frees himself from his clothes. It all feels so good at the moment but once it's over it only reminds the Kurta of how lonely he is without you. This usually ends in watery eyes and you waking up to your phone ringing with an overly quiet Kurapika on the other line.

K = Kink 

He loves getting all dolled up for you, lip tint making his lips a pretty shade of pink and mascara mocking you as if with every glance he's daring you to mess it up. By the end of it all, pink is smeared around his mouth and black streaks line his cheeks from the tears he shed when he came. Kurapika will stare at himself in the mirror afterward, his cock hardening once again as he works to clean up the wreck you made of him. He's still so sensitive when he comes back into the room but that doesn't stop you from bringing him to orgasm once again before allowing the tired boy to collapse against you.

L = Location

Call him vanilla - even though that would be a gross understatement of the truth - but Kurapika prefers the bedroom when it comes to engaging in such intimate acts. He loves when it's just the two of you working together to forget about the cruelty of the world while also reminding yourselves of the good in it.

M = Motivation 

When you take care of him, even in the simplest ways, he can't help those naughty thoughts of just how well you take care of him flood his mind. You give him a thing of water and he looks up at you with big eyes that shift into a lustful gaze for a sliver of a second

N = NO 

Kurapika isn't one for bondage. The concept of not being able to escape, despite knowing he could easily, is not something that turns him on. He'd much rather give you his submission easily. He understands that this would be completely consensual but it still remains a scenario that he's uncomfortable with. The nen wrapped around his heart making him painfully aware that the true nature of restraint is to kill, albeit slowly.

O = Oral 

Kurapika doesn't have a preference for giving or receiving, it all depends on his mood. Sometimes his need to please overwhelms him and he'll make his way between your thighs to quench it. Other times his brain is going too fast for him to keep up - not stopping him from trying - and the only way to get him to calm down is by making his brain take a backseat and having his body so overwhelmed with sensations via your tongue that he can't even comprehend the idea of stress. What he doesn't have in experience he makes up for in enthusiasm and God do you know it.

P = Pace 

When he's on top of you he can't help but go fast, eager to please you as he tries to bring you to the brink of orgasm, his hands sliding up and down your body. His fingertips graze over the harsher lines and curves of your form appreciatively, begging you with his touches to let him make you come. Though, when he lies beneath you, looking up at you with nothing short of complete adoration, you tend to take things slow. Skin meets skin with gentle thuds, his eyes rolling to the back of his head before you force him to look at you once again.

Q = Quickie 

Kurapika prefers drawn-out love-making as opposed to a quick fuck but the harsh and rushed touches that are shared between the two make the experience one that he can't help but love. These quick rendezvous don't happen too often, usually just teasing him and then finishing what you started later on as opposed to setting a quicker pace to things, but when it does it's usually before the two of you go out together. The fresh hickeys rub against his clothes in a way that leaves him shivering and occasionally letting out a soft whine.

R = Risk 

Kurapika doesn't like experimenting on a whim so much as he is open to discussing what the two of you may want to try and makes plan to put such things in to action. Public scenes are no-go from him though. You both have an understanding of what you can introduce into your play at any time, what must be asked, and new things that two of you might want to be surprised with.

S = Stamina 

This Kurta is a sensitive boy so he doesn't tend to last long, though sometimes he manages it when you command him otherwise. What he lacks in that area he makes up for in effort though. He'll allow you to drain him dry and milk the tiniest drops from his cock until he sobs, and often times by the time you consider stopping he's begging you to keep at it so as to prove to you how good he can be. Whether it's a punishment or a reward you both love the tears that speak his cheeks by the end as a sign of his devotion.

T = Toy 

Kurapika has a few toys but he prefers to only use them when with you. One of your favorite things to do is watch him ride a silicone cock until his thighs are sore and his knees aching from the repetitive motion. You can tell he's working up a sweat but he never stops until you say it's okay. Other times you're the one to ride him, a plug filling up his ass as you do so, vibrating against his prostate in a way that leaves him in tears.

U = Unfair 

Teasing on Kurapika's part is almost always unintentional, his big eyes, thinly veiled by his bangs making every gaze enticing. He's so easy to make blush and that only adds to you wanting to act on your unholy thoughts even more.

V = Volume 

Kurapika is incredibly vocal. His greedy whines are not an uncommon occurrence in the bedroom - or whatever room you choose to do such things - begging you to give him more pleasure as his mouth lulls open out of his control. Whimpers leave him, steadily growing in volume, and even your mouth or other orifices can do little to stop the noise from escaping.

W = Wild Card 

He loves when you pull on his hair, especially when his head is between your legs, and the only reason is to get a good look at the mess you're making of his mouth. His tongue will lick tenderly at his reddening lips as his wide eyes look up at you in question. When he finally goes back to tongue your most sensitive area he keeps his gaze on you, admiring you as your taste spans across his tastebuds, and the fingers in his hair only spur him on further.

X = X-Ray

Kurapika's size is slightly below average with the slightest curve of his shaft only visible when he's hard and leaking against his own skin. The tip of his cock is a pretty light pink color that compliments his pale skin beautifully(and you're sure to tell him that regularly).

Y = Yearning

Kurapika's sex drive is dependent on his partner, the emotional aspect far more important than the physical. He's able to get the same satisfaction by nonsexual means, always wanting to be close but not necessarily have sex. It's easy to get him in the mood but with a fragile emotional state it's careful you don't misuse that power; he may want it but that doesn't mean he should have it. In short: Kurapika is accommodating to whatever your sexual needs may be.

Z = ZZZ

Kurapika falls asleep within mere moments of a scene being over, sometimes coming so hard he drifts off while his cock is still leaking out against his skin and you have to clean him up gently so as not to wake him. Sleepless nights are not unfamiliar territory to the Kurta and so when this happens for this first time he thanks whatever force out there that you came into his life, his wellrested mind only a small reason for his thankfulness, the true gift being that he was even capable of relaxing so easily in the presence of another; he never thought he would have that again.

[danihow]

Headcanon, reacting to their quirk badly injuring Y/N

Headcannons

Boku no Hero Academia

Content: Bakugou Katsuki (0.44k words), Shoto Todoroki ( 0.72k words), Dabi (0.43k words).

Total words: 1.6k words.

Warnings: Descriptions of burns, blood, scars, injuries, hospitals; angst, fluff if you squint your eyes and tilt your head and maybe unfocus your sight a bit, and... idk what more?

Bakugou Katsuki: 

Katsuki would deadass freeze when Aizawa told him at the hospital how bad your injuries were.

Poor boy would rethink even becoming a hero, how could he save the world when he couldn’t help but to injure his friend?

It took a lot, and I mean a LOT of Kirishima’s convincing on him to get in your hospital room and see you.

His heart sunk in his chest at the sight of you, all bandaged up and unconscious. How could he even look you at the face?

His eyes stung with tears, he felt so bad that he left you like this when you both were in the same side.

The mere sound of the heartbeat machine was more than stressing for him, making his head hurt.

He sat in the chair next to the bed, eyes fixed on the white tile floor. 

In an unusually soft voice he was able to speak, muttering a simple sentence as tears stung in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

And with that, he left the room; he even left the hospital, not caring about Kirishima asking him to stay with them there: Katsuki just couldn’t handle it anymore.

It took three days for you to wake up and almost four weeks for you to leave the hospital. Still, you did not receive a single visit from the boy in all that time.

It wasn’t because he was escaping the truth, no, he was so tangled in his guilt he couldn’t even allow himself to think about you or your smile again, not when he put you in that hospital bed.

When you returned to the dorms he spent two days locked up in his room, only going for food in the middle of the night and when classes came, he called in sick for the first time in like, forever.

And no matter how hard you try to get back into talking to him, into being his friend, Bakugou is just way too scared of hurting you again.

“I just don’t deserve to be their friend again.” He would say to Kirishima every time he told him you weren’t mad at him.

“Even if they say they don’t, they should be.” 

His heart was still hurting in his own guilt, his brain tricking him to that image of you in the floor, your head and abdomen bleeding unceasingly as his explosions had threw you against a brick wall, leaving a dent in it.

Explosions meant for the villain both of you were going for in your residence, not for you, who in the worst time went in you capture the man.

Todoroki Shoto:

He got so scared, he was frozen to the spot at the sight of your burns. Did he really did that? To you?

He would panic, maybe even had a panic attack at the thoughts of you dying because of him.

How was he supposed to keep on with life with this guilt over his back?

Shoto had the full purpose of holding you in his arms until help came but suddenly, he couldn’t move from where he stood, the thought of harming you again running through his head over and over again.

As you were being carefully carried on to the ambulance by the red cross his eyes were fixated on his hands, his lungs barely breathing.

Was it a dream? A really bad nightmare?

But Midoriya made him realize it wasn’t, his hand palming his shoulder with worry, staring at the slight, almost undetectable burns on the young Todoroki’s wrist.

“We need to go to the hospital too, Todoroki-kun, come on, Y/N will be alright.”

But even if his friend told him it was not his fault he couldn’t take the thought of you out of his head.

He didn’t even knew how he hit you, you were by his side when he started aiming his fire.

When did you move to try and stop the villain with your quirk? How could he not noticed you?

Once in the hospital, All Might was the one who told Deku and Shoto your state, he told them about your third degree burns on your torso and second degree burns on your leg and neck.

Surprisingly, Shoto was not the calm one in this situation. No. 

Izuku was sat in the waiting room as calm as he could be, his green gaze following Shoto, who couldn’t help but walk around like it was a runway, four steps to the right, four to the left, muttering under his breath what went wrong and what he would do if there was a bad repercussion from this. 

“They are going to be okay”

Yeah, he hoped they will, because he doesn’t know what he would do if they weren’t.

And let me tell you this man waited hours in that chair once All Might got him to sit, and i repeat, HOURS, until you were able of receiving visits. 

Once they got news from the doctor that you’d be alright, poor Todoroki excused himself to go to the bathroom just so he could get himself in a stall and silently cry with relief that he didn’t kill you.

And, even if you don’t want to, Todoroki may be like Bakugou.

He got in your room after All Might and Midoriya got out, firmly thinking that he was who deserved the least to be by your side.

He just sat there, looking at you fully covered in bandages and asleep, a bunch machines connected to your unconscious body.

“I am, so, deeply sorry Y/N. I hope you can forgive me.” 

He stayed a couple of minutes, praying to any god that would hear him that you recovered all way through, and that you could still be you.

And I strongly believe he would do like he did with his mother, he would not visit, just sent you little gifts with Midoriya or Ochako.

Once you got back to the dorms, he would not allow himself to talk to you but he would not avoid you too much, he would talk to you if you talked to him first; he left small notes, chocolates and sometimes flowers in your dorm door, but definitely he was not seeking your forgiveness.

It wasn’t until you explained to him that you weren’t mad at all at him because he didn’t have the fault of what happened  and that he was not like his father that he spotted the prominent burn scar in your neck and... his heart snapped.

I firmly believe that he wouldn’t help but cry a bit as he looked at that scar he left on you; and when you tried to go in and hug him poor baby would hesitate a bit too much.

Shoto just thought that... how could you, one of the kindest persons he knew, want to be friends again with him after he left half of your body scarred?

Dabi:

This motherfucker would not care, let’s face it.

Unless...

He had grown fond of you.

(He wouldn’t tho, but let’s pretend he would)

So, you were not sent to a hospital, obviously since you were part of the League of Villains.

Still, Shigaraki was still hesitating about sending you over, you were not as public as all of them were and you were in great pain since Dabi did not incinerate you until death like he used to with any other of his victims.

You had third degree burns all over your torso, and a fourth degree burn in your ribs.

Twice had you in his arms as they all circled you, Dabi standing there with his hands in his pockets. His unexpressive gaze stood over your stomach, were the burn was at it worse.

He expected it to hurt the first layer of muscle that covered your organs, maybe and some internal burns in your ribs and stomach.

Some part in his heart still torn over every person he murdered, and it was squeezing in his chest at the sight of you whimpering nonsense in the floor.

But he was used to it.

It was not the first time he hurt someone he cared about, nor it would be the last one.

And besides, there is absolutely nothing he could do about your hurting.

But don’t get me wrong, he may, probably, think about ways to stop your suffering so his heart would stop being so annoying, it was stressing him out how vulnerable he could be.

Anyways...

You ended up in the hospital, no one recognized you for a member of LOV, and all you could say was that you were attacked by a fire quirk.

Later on, when you returned to the LOV, a really nasty scar was covering half of your body, your skin darker and crusty on that specific spot where the 4th degree burn was.

And, let me explain something to you...

If Dabi didn’t used to start conversations with you often, now he was totally unapproachable, avoiding you as much as he can.

He just didn’t wanted that feeling of his heart squirming in his chest never again, he couldn’t bear to feel something like that, and he was not going to allow that.

And, he was not going to allow his mind to torment him with mental pictures of that nasty scar on your ribs, looking almost as if he wanted you to like him, he would never want no one to be like him; you on the bottom of that list.

[enjennie]

right here

pairing: jeno x reader

synopsis: lee jeno just wanted to help you with the choreography, but now you can't stop wondering if his lips still feel the same as it did five years ago.

genre: fluff, idol!jeno and idol!reader, mutual pining.

word count: 1.1k

warnings: purposely written in low caps

a/n: this is the part 2 of my first and last. haha enjoy! read part 1 here

your heels sounded against the floor as you strutted around the room, inspecting yourself closely in the mirror. something felt wrong, something is definitely missing. your performance is lacking, and with only one day– or night for that matter, to prepare... you're getting a bit stressed.

your members had clocked off about an hour ago to get their well deserved rest and yet here you are, stuck doing that one move you couldn't quite perfect like you wanted.

with one last wave of your hand and kick of the leg you fall to the floor dramatically. exhausted and frustrated, you are about to have a breakdown when you hear the door creak and your head turns in its direction almost instantly to see who'd caught you in an embarassing state. you hope it's just the security guard telling you to shoo off already.

instead, your eye meets those of a familiar someone's. jeno is in his track pants and red hoodie with his duffel bag swung lazily around his broad shoulders and he's smiling at you.

"hey," you say before getting on your feet quickly to fix yourself up a little. it's been a while since you've seen him, let alone talk to him. korea's beloved idol with the crescent eyes, lee jeno, has charmed everyone since his debut and since then has only gotten increasingly popular. you wonder if he remembers your first kiss. to you, it was as clear as day.

"preparing for the music festival tomorrow?" he states the obvious, walking in before plopping his bag down on the floor. you merely nod, reaching your phone to pause the music that was playing. "yeah i can't seem to get it right,"

jeno looks around, seeing that the only bag belonged to you which meant you've probably been alone for some time now.

"can i see? i could give you some pointers," he walks closer to you, smiling sheepishly. you laugh, tucking a strand of hair that had gone loose behind your ear. "yeah? i don't think so, jeno. performance is a secret until tomorrow," you playfully poke his chest, a habit you somehow still carried with you since you were trainees. his chest is harder than you remember, though. it has you growing flustered and retreating your hands to play with their own.

"then just the parts you're not sure of," he meddles and who are you to say no when he's smiling at you so sweetly? images of when you were younger come flashing in your brain automatically takes you back to the first kiss. it was in a different room, but the same building. first kiss. as if there's ever been a second. (newsflash: there hasn't and you weren't exactly against going for one). for old times sake?

you move without a word, and jeno watches you intently as you carry out the moves with such grace he wondered to himself what the hell you were talking about.

"that was perfect, though," he raises his eyebrow once you finish, confused and ultimately amazed.

you groan, getting on your feet and shaking your head. jeno could see the frustration seeping through and he couldn't blame you. he's one to talk about over working, when he does so himself.

he draws closer to you, trying out the movements himself. "maybe you could extend your arm out more in this part," he directs and you're quick to mimic his actions but it doesn't seem right. jeno's eyes avert to your form through the mirror and shakes his head patiently.

"like this," he places a gentle hand on your waist before putting your arms in place. your heart rate quickens at the sudden space between you both. you can already feel the warmth from his hoodie on your backside and the hand that holds your waist lingers for a second longer before he realizes it too.

the air becomes tense, an unexplainable vibe between the both of you arise and it's something you haven't felt since the moment you both pulled away from the kiss.

"so, like this?"

in your poor attempt at clearing the air, you move your arms again and turn to execute the dance only for you to get tangled in his arms which only constricts the space between you both. great. now you're facing him, and you feel his breath fanning over your face before it hitches in his throat.

jeno breaks out into a grin, chuckling lightly. "i think I'm getting deja vu ,"

he let's you go, and you're almost disappointed to be free from his arms. you wanted to be engulfed in them again almost instantly.

"they say that when you get deja vu, you're exactly where you're supposed to be," you state, just sharing the random fact you have tucked in your brain. jeno looks down at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

"so i'm meant to have you in my arms like this?" jeno wraps his arms around you again, pulling you close to his chest and knocking the wind out of yours.

"lee jeno, are you flirting with me right now?" the sudden confidence was... well, sudden and came out of nowhere. but your heart is going into overdrive and air is needed in your system so you make yourself take a slow breath.

his eyes crinkle when he smiles, face inching closer that you almost want to scream. "would it be so bad if i was?"

no. not at all.

at this point he's so close to you that you can smell the mint gum he'd been chewing, and the cologne he uses. you wanted to close the space between you so bad already, but you were still in his grip.

jeno moves his face closer, before a voice booms from outside the room and has you both pulling apart. it's the security guard, and he's come to throw you out the building. great timing.

"we'll be right out," jeno calls, and that's when you notice how red his ears had gotten.

the both of you rush out of the practice room with no other words other than 'close the lights please' and 'don't forget your phone'. and nothing could have prepared you for the awkward elevator ride down.

the numbers flickered from 3, 2, 1 to G and you both step out.

so is no one going to talk about how you both just almost recreated something that happened five years ago or? no? okay.

"i'll see you tomorrow?" jeno extends a hand out to you. is he about to dap you up? you stare at the hand in confusion before giving it a shake. you've never been more confused in your life.

"yeah," you manage to spit out. he gives your hair a ruffle before turning to head towards the exit. he hasn't done that in a while, and the gesture makes all the blood rush to your head and ears.

great. what was the move again? now you'd have two things on your mind: that stupid choreography and lee jeno.

as you watch his figure disappear into the exit, the boy hangs his head low and mentally curses himself for being a coward and not going for the kiss when he had the chance. you heave a deep sigh, before go on your own way.

part 3 - coming soon.

[notnctu]

cupid’s arrow - h.rj | 7 days

━ sweet greetings from the 7 days fluff series 

genre ❥ slight angst, fluff !!  details ❥ college!au, friends to lovers!au, genderneutral!reader ━ where renjun makes a bet to get you to fall in love with him.  warnings ❥ explicit language, light banter word count ❥ 7.1k  synopsis ❥ The silly boy has no idea what he’s gotten himself into when he makes a bet with his arrogant friend to get you to fall in love with him. Renjun never intends to confess, mainly because his past unrequited loves have demolished his confidence. So a low stakes gamble causes him a great deal of stress and pride, wishing that it was as easy as striking you with Cupid’s Arrow. While he wants your feelings to develop organically, he actually doesn’t know what he’d do if you did end up liking him back. Because to him, you have always been someone unattainable and out of his reach  taglist ❥ @yourmagnanimousholiness​ ; @lovelycharm05​ ; @watermelonxes​ ; @jaehyunsjasmine​ ; @mjlkau​​ <3

a/n ❥ this is author doie ❀!! uhh this came out a little more angsty than i had planned it to be.. anyways its been a long time coming and we’re still working on the requests hehehe uhh keep an eye out for some blog updates bc we are starting school soon :) thanks for sticking with us so far! lots of love for everyone<3

Huang Renjun catches a glimpse of your enchanting figure across the lecture hall and how you effortlessly slide into your usual seat near the front. The tap against the tiny turnout table with your pen, ruffling your hair to only have it fall back in place beautifully, and aura alone suffocates him.

In a three hundred person lecture, all he sees is you. The only person in the room who has his undivided attention and while it might be entirely infatuation by your attractiveness, the mutual friends you two share describe you having a heart of gold.

A heart that is impenetrable. Strong, sturdy, shining metal that no one has been able to get through, but Renjun thinks that it’s because you can tell someone is undeserving. Keen and observant eyes, it’s a good thing that his stares don’t linger for long.

As he walks down the descending steps to sit in the row behind you, he remembers a very drunk night over the past weekend and an idiotic bet that has him punching himself. He wishes that he never agreed, but the liquid pride in him could not bite his tongue.

“(Y/N)?” His friend scorns and Renjun slaps his forehead at the slip of your name. Truthfully, the alcohol is messing with his head and he’s saying things that are no longer in his control. But how could he have possibly let the one secret he holds to himself out into the small crowd.

He mumbles profanities underneath his breath, trying to limit light from hurting his blurry vision, and rubbing his throbbing temples. “Yes, (Y/N).” There is no confidence in his voice at the whisper of your name.

“Dude, (Y/N) is way out of your league.” The headache just doesn’t have an end. He knows this; there is no way you’d ever bat an eyelash at him first. Renjun just likes things that are impossible to him, a poor habit of his.

“I bet I could get (Y/N) to get with me first before you ever can.” Then, Renjun’s eyes shoot open wide and the view of the arrogance laughing in the dimness slowly boils his blood.

Renjun may seem like the weaker link to pick on, but he is not one to give up a fight. While his friend has an advantage, the last thing Renjun would want is for you to fall for a horrendous two faced personality.

He’ll charm your pants off and when he gets what he wants: the victory and your vulnerability, he’ll hurt you. Would you be able to see past his fake genuineness or actually fall for the person he plays so well? Renjun can’t let anyone hurt you if he can prevent it.

“I bet that I can get (Y/N) to fall in love with me.” Renjun stumbles to stand up proudly, making himself bolder and more intimidating. Nevertheless, the drowsiness intoxicates him and he can barely keep his line of vision focused.

He sees the disgusting smirk on his friend’s face and a hand extends out for Renjun to shake. “Okay. Let’s bet on it. If you can’t get (Y/N) to fall in love with you, they’ll be mine and you can’t speak to them ever again.”

“Nice use of claiming someone who barely knows you exist.” The alcohol didn’t take away Renjun’s sharp sarcasm and the constant rolling of his eyes.

Renjun truly has no confidence at the game he decided to engage in, his only motive is to protect you from a bad guy. He wouldn’t even know how to handle the potential chance that you could like him back, did you have the ability to do so?

He never had the intention to confess to you, his heart has been broken all too much already by unrequited loves from his past. And if he had to be honest with himself, his admiration for you has become so strong that even he’s afraid to be someone to taint it.

What are the odds that the entire row behind you is already filled? Renjun’s throat closes when he sees the empty seat right next to you and the professor starting up his presentation. Other students push past him to hurry into empty seats before lecture begins, and his own feet pick him up toward you.

Like a magnetic pull, you attract him with an inexplicable force so naturally. Clearing his throat, he swallows the anxiousness that blocks him from speaking. 

“Is this seat taken?”

This is it. This is the first of many looks you two will share, and Renjun’s heart pounds at his chest to wait for your eyes to meet his own for more than a second.

As if the room falls silent and everything is in slow motion, Renjun captures the very image when you blink up at him with beautiful dazzling gentleness and the utter sugar of your lips curling upwards. And he’s stunned, hoping it doesn’t show on his face.

“No.” It’s a simple reply and nothing worth jumping out of joy about, but he tries so hard to hold back the growing smile of your acknowledgement. You are being polite, but something inside of him feels giddy and like static running through his veins.

“Thanks.” Dropping his bag, he enters the seat carefully and sits with his hands folded together on the tiny table.

You examine the attentive boy, as his focus is trained on the lecture slides and the unprepared professor messing with his mic. Chuckling, “you don’t take notes?”

Renjun is surprised at your sudden interaction, completely blindsided by your friendliness. He wasn’t sure how well that would have worked, but your curiosity speaks for you. “I actually forgot my laptop today.” The heavy device sits in his bag at his feet, but he doesn’t dare take it out after the lie.

The soft ‘oh’ that falls from your mouth is too cute and Renjun clears his throat to bring him back from his daydreams of you. Looking apologetic, he shrugs and pretends to gear his attention back to the professor, who finally starts the long awaited class.

“I can send you my notes for the day, if you’d like.” The kindness in your voice does not go unnoticed, in fact, it causes Renjun to hold onto it for a little longer to fuel his undying crush for you.

“I’d love that—” Perhaps he shouldn’t have used the word love for the strictly friendly gesture. “—you’re a lifesaver. Uh, how should I refer to you as?” Playing dumb is his only way to get to you, for now.

“(Y/N). And you?” You hand your phone toward him with social media popped up to input his user handle.

Renjun introduces himself as his sweaty fingers type, and he wonders if he should have polished up any photos that may have you steering away from him. However when he returns your device, the smile that lights up your face allows him to breathe easily.

“I knew you sounded familiar. You’re friends with Jaemin, right?” Your whisper grows soft as you multitask to make conversation and jot down a few important bullet points from the slides. Renjun tries hard to dissect the information as well, but the boring tone of his professor is nothing compared to his crush finally having conversation with him.

“We’re housemates along with two other people.” His body is able to relax now that he’s broken the wall of introductions. You carry yourself to be more intimidating than you actually are.

When he peeks back over at your concentrated expression, your lip is hidden by your top row of teeth and your quick eyes dart between the monitor and your page. How are you so good at literally everything?

“A small world.” He picks up your every word, “well Renjun, since this class has basically ruined my life, would it be too much to ask if you’re down to study with me?” And despite the fluorescent lights being absolutely dull, they still dust your eyes with an enticing glitter.

He must have been staring for too long because you start your sentence of doubt, but Renjun stammers over his response. The professor isn’t quite happy with the small overlap of chatter and shoots a glare at the two of you.

That’s definitely not a good way to start, but it’s memorable. Renjun motions for your pen, and scribbles in his own font the answer to your offer:

I’d love that :)

Then, his heart soars back into the clouds once again at the grin that settles and your written response:  

Me too <3

How does one get someone to fall for them? If Renjun knew, he wouldn’t still be single and infatuated with someone too good for him. He wishes that it’s as simple as the myths make it out to be, where all Cupid had to do was draw his bow and launch a loving arrow that pierces through the heart — an instant love.

But playing Cupid himself is harder than anticipated. He has no handy tools to assist him with his goals. He just has himself, lacks luster and is invisible. Can he be more painfully boring?

And he looks at you with literal hearts in his eyes. An excitement that awaits him, the true meaning of a head turner. That is you. And all he can offer is his mere presence.

“So how did you and Jaemin meet?” Looking up from your blinding laptop screen, Renjun feels the light tap underneath the table from your foot. He chuckles at the subtly adorable affection, and your own way of showing it.

This has to be the third round of study sessions you two shared, and bit by bit, he falls more and more for you despite it needing to be the other way around. The captivating get-to-know you conversation of favorites all down to your aspirations and goals.

The intelligence of you, your wisdom, your perspective. While he did not have this insight before, knowing it now only makes you more alluring. He can’t believe you’re even sitting with him in his shared living room, just the two of you.

“We met at orientation. He’s persistent.” Renjun laughs lightly and you smile in return, nodding along with his statement.

“Wish I met you guys at orientation. I was never the one to reach out to people first until college forced me out of my shell.” He hopes his ears didn’t deceive him, but Renjun had to do a double take: you said you guys, which includes him, right? You wish you had met him earlier?

But the latter shocks him a bit. If he recalls your first meeting, you were the one curious enough to continue speaking to him. “I would have never guessed.”

“Really?” There is a notable light in your eyes as you tilt your head. “I don’t seem shy?”

“Not at all…” He has to stop himself from going on an incredible tangent about how greatly outspoken you are, it gives away too much on how observant he’s been.  

“I’m good at hiding it then.” You examine the soft shade of pink on the tips of his ears and his averting shy gazes. “What are you good at hiding?”

Your question leaves him speechless and gripping at any ends of answers. There are a number of ways he can go about it, but the truth is not one of them.

What is he good at hiding? His unconditional affection for you. He’s good at concealing every heavy heart beat at your smallest actions. He’s good at keeping a regretful secret bet.

But as those options pop into his head, he doesn’t want to say any of them. So, he opts for a white lie instead and hopes that the hesitation doesn’t sell him out for being a nervous wreck.

“I’m good at hiding what I fear.” You blink at him, clearly intrigued to want to know more.

“You do seem pretty fearless, Huang Renjun.” There is a brief exchange of eye contact and Renjun swears that his pounding heart can be heard in the silence. A smirk on your lips as you return to your work, he’s warm inside from the usage of his full name. And you don’t even realize the effect you have over him.

“So, you and (Y/N) are close. How did that start?” Jaemin jumps onto Renjun’s neatly made bed. The covers are now ruffled and tossed from the impact.

Jaemin isn’t home very often, but in the rare times he has been, it’s always during the study sessions with you. The first time you came over, Jaemin tried not to talk up a storm from seeing a familiar face. He respects Renjun’s relationships, so he tried his best to keep from prying at the boy.

“You finally want to know?” Renjun scoffs lightheartedly, punching his housemate lightly on the shoulder as he swivels around in his chair. With an excited wide smile, Jaemin tugs at his friend’s arm as an endearing sign of persistence. “Okay, okay. We have the same class.”

“(Y/N) really approached you in a three hundred student lecture?” A tone of disbelief settles in Jaemin’s rhetorical question. He cocks an eyebrow, waiting for Renjun to tell some truth.

“Not exactly. I sat next to them and a conversation just happened.” Renjun shrugs as if it’s nothing big, as if it hadn’t been for your curiosity that started this blossoming relationship.

“Spare me the details.” Jaemin sits up to hold Renjun by his shoulders. The pressure feels oddly crushing, like a whole weight dropping on him. Jaemin stares him dead in the eyes. “What are your motives, Huang Renjun?”

His mouth hangs slightly open from the question. “I can’t be friends with (Y/N)?” Almost defensively, Renjun furrows his eyebrows at his friend, but he can tell Jaemin has caught onto his lie.

“I heard that you made a bet with a certain shithead.” Jaemin rolls his eyes at remembering their horrible mutual, a crime to even consider him as a friend. He drops his heavy hands from Renjun’s shoulders and falls back onto the mattress.  

The alarming expression of grave danger, Renjun is screwed. He gulps the gathered saliva in the back of his mouth, searching for a plausible explanation. “I was drunk.” He slaps his forehead at the stupid reasoning as Jaemin shoots upright to begin scolding him.

“Let me explain,” Renjun covers his mouth to halt Jaemin’s excessive nagging. “I like (Y/N), that’s how the bet even came alive. I slipped up and then he was saying all this stuff about (Y/N) being out of my league.”

“Which is true.” Jaemin adds, quite muffled but doesn’t slip past Renjun.

Renjun glares and thanks him sarcastically. “I made the bet to protect (Y/N) from him. He was provoking me by saying that he can get (Y/N) first and since I was heavily intoxicated, I didn’t think before I spoke.”

Jaemin holds Renjun warmly, seeing that his friend needed a hug from the saddened memory. It’s all too obvious how regretful Renjun feels. “So I’m trying my best at carrying the bet because there’s too much at stake.”

A chill runs down his spine remembering the consequences. He just can’t fail. Jaemin pulls away and lightly pats Renjun’s hair. “Cupid has made you into a fool for your crush.”

“He’s made me into a bigger one for thinking I could get my crush to like me back.” Renjun sighs in defeat and groans loudly. Why does this frustrate him so much? Perhaps it’s the lack of ability to actually get someone to like him back.

Renjun has been single for his entire life, not by choice. He’s done the movie cliches of a confession: a bouquet of roses, a poster, a night under the stars. And not one has ever accepted his feelings. He doesn’t blame any of them since he still struggles with finding things to love about himself. What is there to love about him? He can’t seem to find any redeeming qualities worth mentioning.

But you. You, alone, is simply worth an honorable mention. And now that it’s been well over a month of your friendship, he can confirm that you’re everything he’s ever wanted and more.

“Why don’t you start by being (Y/N)’s friend first? Love doesn’t just happen in an instant, no offense to Cupid or anything. I mean.. isn’t it all just a myth anyways?” Jaemin picks Renjun’s falling chin and he can see the glossy eyes of sadness. They swim with frustration and guilt.

Like an epiphany, Jaemin gave Renjun a starting place. For weeks, Renjun racked his brain for an easy solution out of it all. In reality, he didn’t need any wicked form of magic for foul play. He just wants to be by your side for as long as you allow. And a part of him is scared for you to like him back.

You’ve always been too out of his reach. Standing on a pedestal, you’re something unattainable. It’s lucky that you even bat an eyelash at him. He’s admired you all too much, Renjun won’t actually know what to do if you ever did like him back.

This all stems from his inner insecurities, like a recurring thought: what is there to like about him? Or is he even good enough for you?

If someone had warned him that love could become this confusing, he would’ve sacrificed his heart for something less complicated. To feel. To love. Renjun wishes he can remove the love bow that pierced through his chest.

On a random Friday night, Renjun’s phone rings with an unexpected caller ID. He pauses the song he’s been listening to for the past hour to pick up.

“Renjun! I’m sad and drunk right now.” Your voice is incredibly slurred and he can barely hear you with the loud background noise. “Can you come pick me up?”

“Are you over on Third Ave. again?” He despises that place. A house on the corner of Third Avenue right off the interstate from campus that throws weekly parties. These parties are overcrowded with creeps and cheap booze. Unfortunately, you’re favorite place to run away to.

This isn’t his first time coming to get you. Over the past few months of your established friendship, you’ve sent him numerous amounts of drunk texts calling for him. This is the first time you actually called, preluding to a really rough night you’ve been having.

You sigh into the receiver, “you remembered.” like you’re on the verge of tears, he can hear the quiver in your tiny voice.

“I have your location, idiot.” Renjun smiles at your silly drunk reactions, finding you more enduring from the innocence. “I’ll be there in a blink.”

“Okay, I’ll close my eyes so I can open them to you.” You giggle before hanging up and Renjun can’t keep the widest grin off of his face. He’s rushing out his door, not wanting to wait another second to see you.

One thing Renjun realized after finally growing close enough to you is that through all his infatuation, you’re still a human. While he thinks of you in a sparkling cascading glitter waterfall, you’re made of the same softness that Renjun has. You’re not perfect and he needed to stop idolizing you as if you’re some shiny trophy.

No, he’s learned that he needed to love you for who you truly are. And the moment he broke down your layers, the glass tears that fell from your cheeks were real. The pain through your confident façade, Renjun needed to love you at your lowest.

He saw you for you, not the attractive person from his lecture he drooled months over. You are the exact reality that movies are afraid to portray. You’re courageous, chic, charming. But you’re also shy, soft spoken, and silly. You’re like waking up during dawn and marveling in the silence of a sleeping society. You’re also like smiles on a sunny day and living in the moment.

Renjun is lovestruck, wildly in love with all that you are. The only thing that brings down his spirits is the lingering bet he made several months ago and he hates how it’s always gnawing at him. It’s like an echo, bouncing off the walls of his mind. He can’t shake it off. Most of the time, he tries to focus the moment in front of him, but it has him tossing and turning in the middle of the night.

Without much surprise, you stand in front of the overflowing party house with eyes cutely squeezed shut. A friend by your side to wait with you. “Open your eyes.” Renjun yells as windows roll down and he double parks the car.

Your eyes gleam in the darkness and bidding your friend a quick goodbye, you jump into the familiar vehicle and embrace your good friend with a longing hug. Renjun chuckles at your adorable actions, patting your shoulder lightly. Despite the cheerful welcome, the mood immediately shifts when he hears your tiny sniffs and feels the tears on his shirt.

“C’mon, your favorite ice cream flavor is waiting for you at my place.” As he whispers positive affirmations, you can only cry harder into his chest. “You’re not feeling too good tonight, are you?”

It’s way too obvious of a question to ask, he knows. Truthfully, he didn’t know what to say and comforting is not his strongest skill without it turning it into a life lesson. He knows what you need, just someone to acknowledge how you’re feeling and to listen.

“I’m feeling the worst tonight. I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe later?” You pull away from his arms, even if he isn’t ready to let you go. He helps buckle your seatbelt and wipe any remaining wetness on your cheeks.

Your hand briefly touches Renjun’s which causes the boy to freeze at the sudden action. Your hazy smile is unclear, but you lean into him before he can process all the randomness. A kiss on his cheek, the most delicate feeling of lips on skin.

Renjun explodes inside, like hazardous fireworks on a cloudy night. He wants to enjoy it, but his circumstances make it difficult for him to. “Thanks for coming to get me.” Your body slumps back onto the seat, a pout on your lower lip. Renjun shifts awkwardly in his seat, buckling his seatbelt to begin the ride home. He can’t find the words to say.

You’re being too casual about what had just happened, as if you’re ignoring it all. Or you simply have no control over anything that you’re doing. “Let me tell you a secret, Injunie.” The sugarcoated nickname. You’re definitely too drunk at the moment, and whatever you do now will be long forgotten the next morning.

Renjun still doesn’t say anything, relishing in the kiss on the cheek just seconds ago. His fingers lightly touch his face, grazing upon the very part your lips came in contact with. He’s truly through the moon and— “I used to have the biggest crush on Jaemin.” Renjun abruptly steps on the brakes, whipping the both of you in your seats.

His heart is falling, it’s plummeting and he can’t do anything to save it. “I really didn’t expect such a surprised reaction.”

Renjun clears his throat. “I’m just caught off guard.” Not a lie, he really wasn’t expecting a confession and his heart to break right at this moment. “Why Jaemin?”

He knows why Jaemin. He’s a social butterfly with no caution to the wind and a heart made of pure kindness. A welcoming friendly figure that won’t hesitate to feed into someone’s need for words of affirmation. Not to mention, Jaemin has a good few inches above him and looks of a poster kpop idol. Of course, you liked Jaemin.

“He has such a good heart. I guess I just like guys who think of me first, as selfish as that sounds. I don’t prioritize myself, so it would be nice if someone else did.” You fiddle your thumbs and Renjun is impatiently tapping his fingers against the wheel.

The red traffic light before you enacts two different feelings. Renjun wants this ride to end as fast as possible. You want this ride to last forever.

“But, Jaemin is seeing someone.”

Your head ducks down and out the window at the shining streetlamps; you know very well about Jaemin’s love life. “I didn’t expect anything from him. I just liked him for him. He came to pick me up every time I would ask, I guess I have a thing for guys who do that.”

Renjun tightens his grip, heart pounding at your statement. You peer up to look at your friend in the lack of light. His glasses sit low on his nose bridge, a soft cotton shirt hugs his torso, and pajama pants that clad his legs. A mess bed of hair as the cherry on top.

After Jaemin, you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t fall for anyone so easily. All of that was thrown out the window the very first night Renjun came to your saving. Despite contrary belief, your heart is not as impenetrable as people make you out to be. And as tough as you can be, it was too hard not to be the slightest interested in him.

Ever since your first meeting, Renjun has always been cool and collected. He’s a hothead at his best, but too playful for any serious damage. Renjun reminds you of yourself. Like a huge impenetrable wall built against any trouble to enter, he is as guarded as you are. He’s timid, and while you had tried your best to hide your own, Renjun simply embraces that part of him.

Renjun stayed after every tearful night. He’s helped you through every difficult study guide, if anything he saved your failing grade.

Renjun puts you first throughout anything; asking if you want the booth seat at restaurants, strategically walking on the outer side so you can avoid driving cars, always has your favorite snacks without you asking. Every tiny gesture, may you be slightly delusional, seemed as if he loved you. And if he did, you wouldn’t mind one bit because you wanted to love him back.

“What about you? We’ve never really talked about our love lives before.” You speak up in the silence, Rejun being awfully quiet tonight. He hopes you don’t blame him, but everything has been too overwhelming. He is no longer sure on what he wants to do or how to react.

“My love life is too sad to talk about.” He’s never wanted to talk about it with you, in case he’d slip up and say something too revealing. “It’s a long list of unrequited loves. I’ve given up on professing my feelings to someone at this point.”

“What would have to happen to get you to confess?” Your eyes coin a mischievous twinkle.

Renjun feels his palms grow sweaty, a bit nervous with this conversation topic. 

“Something catastrophic.”

Something catastrophic did end up happening. Renjun wishes he could disappear, or if he runs away, would anyone notice?

He stands behind your fuming stance. In any other given situation, Renjun would be more than flattered that you’re standing up for him. However in this case, you’re making a fool out of yourself on his behalf.

“Oh, so you haven’t told (Y/N) about the bet?” Of all the nights Renjun decides to accompany you on a Friday evening, he runs until the one person he never wanted to come within ten feet to.

Truthfully, the night was going well. He ran into a few of his other acquaintances from his club, others from his classes. You held onto his arm the moment you two entered the party, afraid to lose this precious boy in the dense crowd. People walked by and expressed how cute you two looked together.

You poured him drinks that will make his head throb and you busted dance moves that made his heart throb. You were the epitome of a fun time, like an explosion of positive endorphins. Your toothy smiles. Your bright electrified eyes. Your sweet laughter. This was the last beautiful image he had of you before everything came falling apart.

“What bet?” You quickly turn around to face Renjun. His hand scratches the back of his neck and his gaze stays staring at his own feet. Your throat grows tight from Renjun’s hesitation.

“He made a bet with me that he could get you to fall in love with him.” Please stop talking, Renjun begs in his thoughts. He tightens his fist, unable to form words to speak. The thumping of the loud music makes it hard to focus.

“He—” Shaky voice and stuttering… even you are having doubts of Renjun’s character. “He wouldn’t do that.” Your eyes bounce between him and Renjun.

“I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you don't know him very well then.” Renjun’s arrogant friend crosses his arms coolly, a smug smirk unfolding on his face.

“It’s true, (Y/N). I did make the bet and I regret it every waking day.” Renjun finally speaks up, but you’re out the door before he can continue.

There isn’t another thought in his head when he’s running after you; you’re already so far down the road. The secret was bound to be revealed, but he wasn’t ready for it. He was never going to be ready for this day because his first mistake was making the bet to begin with.

He should have thought about you. He should have just swallowed his pride and talked his friend out of it. Was that a choice? Could he have just done that instead of letting it fester into such a problem?

Out of breath and out of mind, Renjun calls out your name. When you spin on your heels to walk toward him, his heart reaches for you. However, you push at his chest and he almost falls backwards.

You’re angry, more than angry. You’re upset. You have every right to be. “What were you thinking, Renjun?” There is a small crack in your voice and he can see your tear stained cheeks under the moonlight. “Am I even your friend? All this time… you had an agenda. Were your actions all fake, then? You wanted to manipulate me into falling in love with you?”

Your words are hitting like large bricks. You are questioning the past five months of your friendship and everything Renjun has ever done for you. A false reality, Renjun didn’t actually give a damn about you. He wanted to prove some odd male status. Could you be any more blind?

“Please let me explain… I was drunk out of my mind that night and the bet I made was stupid. It was before proper evaluation. Does it make it okay? No, I understand that.” Renjun speaks with his hands, clearly panicked and frazzled by the way they waved around in the air. “The bet… I did it to protect you from that guy. I didn’t want him to hurt you.”

“So you hurt me instead?” If someone were to listen closely, they would be able to hear the shattering of two hearts tonight. On this late evening, two hearts are broken under the moon and stars.

But it’s pitiful because the arrow that struck Renjun remains intact. He still loves you, which is why it pains him so much to where he can’t breathe. The information in his head is scattered, like an alarm blaring through his empty brain.

All he knows is that he loves you. You are the one thing he’s afraid of losing. From the first words you two exchanged, his fear that he hid all too well is and always will be losing you.

“That was not my intention ever. I never wanted to hurt you.” Renjun takes a step closer, but you take one back.

“Well you did because your little bet… it worked. I love you, Renjun, so congratulations.” There is bitterness and an inexplicable amount of heartbreak that lace your venomous confession.

All of his life, he thought that if one person liked him back, he’d be the happiest person in the world. Possibly confused at how to proceed with the information, but definitely glad that someone could see any redeeming characteristics in him.

But he feels all the opposite. Your confession keeps his heart broken. If anything, it puzzles him more. “How..? Why would you ever like me?” There were no tricks, no attempts at flirtation, nothing out of bounds of being your friend. He just had himself. And if anyone in the universe were to like him, he’d never expect it would be you.

You groan, growing more infuriated at Renjun. “Because you’re everything I wish I could be. You’re level-headed and insightful. You’re calm and cool, without any necessary arrogance. The way you make me feel… I feel important to you, at least, I thought I was.” Your voice continues to drop softer and softer, “how could I not like you?”

The butterflies could not come at a better time. Hearing you compliment him when he found it difficult to look past his own self deprecation, he’s beyond any levels of shock. Nevertheless, he feels apologetic and knew that this is all too good to be true.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), for making that terrible bet. But, I need you to know one thing: our friendship was genuine. All I’ve ever wanted these past months is to make sure your sweet smile stays resting on your beautiful face.”

“Why? You didn’t know me! You used me for some … pride gamble. I was nothing to you the day you made that bet.” You shout harsh words at him, and Renjun can’t hold back any longer.

This is what he meant by something catastrophic. When he’s pushed to the edge of a cliff, all his buttons are pressed aggressively. Everything falling apart. The loose ends coming undone all too quickly to grapple. He never wanted it to come to this.

“That-That’s not true! I loved you long before that regretful night! You mean every single moment of happiness to me. You’re every ray of sunshine that kisses my skin, every blue sky that reminds me of good days. You mean everything to me.” Genuine words pour from his lips, hoping that you’ll understand what’s left of his heart.

“You’re confessing?” You gasp, practically dazed at the amount of metaphors he compared you to. “Something catastrophic.” A small moment of recollection and a mumble under your breath, you’re understanding what he meant by the phrase he used several nights ago.

“Yes because I can't lose you. I’m a mess of feelings at the moment, but I just know that I’m scared to wake up to days without you in them.” Renjun pleads, the night air causing goosebumps to rise on his arms. His eyes are full of melancholy and fear as he waits for your response.

And you want to forgive him, but would that mean your heart is being too easy? You feel lingering pain, but your eyes reflect Renjun. “To think I thought you were pretty fearless.” Scoffing, you roll your eyes at him and are completely unsure what to do next.

Nevertheless, you’ve wanted someone like Renjun at some point in your life. You hoped for better days and those didn’t start happening until you two met. Renjun went from being your distant study partner to being your number one person to call. He’s wiped more tears than any boy has.

The difference between Renjun and Jaemin is while Jaemin is known to have an extravagantly warm presence, Renjun’s is hidden underneath all the quietness. Like a breakthrough, getting through Renjun felt like getting through to yourself. You needed him to aid in your own self love.

All you’ve ever wanted is to be seen and Renjun saw you.

“I forgive you.” Renjun can finally breathe and rest his tense muscles. But when he reaches for your hand, you take it away. “But it doesn’t mean we are okay. I’ll approach you when I’m ready.”

It’s not easy to love as it’s not easy to pretend that everything can go back to normal after being hurt. You need him to understand that, would he wait for you? The many others before didn’t.

“Okay.” That is all he can say, in the midst of a defeat, he still wishes that you’d stay by his side. But he wrestles that desire with transparency and having organic feelings. Nonetheless, he values the latter. If you did really somehow manage to love him, you’ll come back when you’re ready. He knows. He understands. He sees you through and through.

And he watches you disappear back into the house to find a friend to drive you home. He loves you, but love can also be consequential.

It’s already midway into the school semester and not that Renjun is counting or anything, but it’s been practically a whole month since the night at the party. He’s done nothing, except sigh in despair and reminisce about the memories before they were ruined.

While Jaemin’s efforts to console him are much appreciated, it doesn’t do much for the fact that you haven’t acknowledged Renjun’s existence for a whole thirty days.

And although he’ll wait a lifetime for you, the question of when he should move on ponders his clouded thoughts. His intensively agonizing desire of wanting to be by your side has dwindled down now. Renjun just wants to see you happy.

“Hey Cupid,” It’s a newly despised nickname coined by the one and only person who knows how to push at Renjun’s buttons — Lee Haechan. Haechan knocks obnoxiously at his door and does not wait around to hear an answer, “get your sad face out here.”

“Go away, Haechan. I’m not in the mood.” As Renjun mindlessly skims over his calendar for important dates, he is pained by the reminder of your upcoming birthday. You had marked it yourself a while back and specifically told Renjun that his attendance is entirely mandatory.

Times have changed now, right? You’ve been radio silent for weeks and as much as he hates to say this to himself: you probably don’t remember making such an assertion. Why would you? You’re most likely not thinking about him anymore anyways and maybe that’s for the better.

“Hey! Lovestruck Asshole, I’m not going to tell you again. Get that arrow out of your ass and come outside now.” Just the demand alone in Haechan’s voice irritates Renjun enough to where he’s storming to open his door.

But what it reveals is not the smirk of his annoying housemate, instead, it is the image of the very first time Renjun ever laid eyes on you and the moment Cupid’s Arrow struck right through his heart. It’s a rush of nostalgia that surges through his veins.

You sit with a hand underneath your chin and elbow pressing into a flat surface for support. The dazed stare of daydream as you’re unaware of your surroundings, yet still waiting for something exciting to catch your attention. And just how lovely you look in the softest rose colored shirt and how your lips, still barely glistening from a quick swipe of your tongue, are slightly agape into an expressionless rest.

All before your eyes trail to the distraction of another body entering the room and for a brief second, make eye contact with Renjun as he’s all the more astonished by your grace. Then like a scene that’s imprinted in his head too clearly, your gaze drops back down to the floor and you’re back to your inner thoughts.

As if the pierced arrow in his heart is triggered, Renjun rediscovers the feelings of a newfound infatuation — a crush. Though baseless except in regards to physical attraction, he’s nonetheless amazed by how quickly you take his breath away… again.

Unlike the first memory, you actually speak to him as you’re now familiar with the starry eyed boy. “It’s been a while.”

The color in your voice that he’s missed hearing is pure music. He clears his throat as if he’s afraid of his own vocal chords breaking from nervousness.

“H-Hey, yeah. It’s been a while.” Renjun repeats dumbfounded that you’re even sitting in his shared living room.

“How have you been?” There you are being polite, but the giddiness still runs like static through his veins at being asked about his well being.

“Lost.” He blurts out the first word that comes to mind. Perhaps, he should stop using words with such heavy implications to friendly gestures. Your head immediately pops up and he scrambles to correct himself. “I mean I’ve been distracted lately.”

“Sadness really does take its course.” You tread lightly, testing the waters with a small grin. The atmosphere is oddly comforting, like feeling you can’t quite replace.

Renjun looks rather rough around the edges, but you don’t blame him since you did show up unannounced. However, the glint in his eyes is much of a delight to see. The way his small mouth curves into the tiniest smile and the gentleness in his regular cadence remind you of past long days full of laughter. The best part of them all — you spent them together.

“My birthday is coming up soon.” Jumping straight to the point of your visit, you stand up to approach him. “I plan to host a small party… and I remember saying a while back that your attendance is mandatory.”

Renjun catches his breath in his throat and he could run gleeful laps around the room if it isn’t for the poorly spaced complex. “So are you still down, Huang Renjun?”

“I’d love that.” He smiles greatly at your offer and as simple as that, your arms wrap around his torso into a long awaited embrace.

“Me too.” You mumble into his shirt and take a deep breath of his lavender scented detergent, “I’m ready. I’m ready to have you in my life. I’m ready to laugh with you. I’m ready to lay in your company. I’m ready to give you my heart.”

As you finish your last sentence, his arms wrap around you too and pull you into a tighter hold. “You have always had mine.”

Renjun can finally remove the arrow that unforgivingly stayed stuck in his heart for the longest time. Your reciprocated love fills up the hole that is left behind. He can now love you with a full and whole heart.

[true-blue-megamind]

FAN THEORY THURSDAY – Why Did Metroman Retire?

Happy Almost-Friday, everyone! And even though Minion threatens to smother everything he cooks in old Limburger cheese each time I say it: SPOILER WARNING!

Yes, I know, it’s three a.m. and it’s technically Friday, but I’m still calling this Thursday night, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Okay, let’s be honest, Metroman is a character who seems, on the surface, to require little explanation in the film Megamind. He’s only present in the beginning and end, and we spend half the movie believing he’s dead, and we learn that Metroman has done something almost unheard of among superheroes: he’s chosen to retire. The question is: why? There is a tendency to think that he's simply a spoiled rich boy who, (in his social life, at least,) does what he wants without regard for others, but is that really fair? Or could there be other possible reasons? Well, let’s take a look at a few fan theories that may explain why he chose to abandon heroism for a music career.

Metroman Didn’t Want to Be a Hero

Although he’s clearly based on—and perhaps even poking a little fun at—the Man of Steel, Metroman was no Superman. (I mean, okay, he was technically a super-man, since he had strength, speed, and powers far beyond what a human would possess.) Except, here’s the thing: he’s not a carbon copy of the Man of Steel; Metroman and Superman have completely different lives and personalities. This remains true despite the fact that they share a similar origin—that of being aliens from a dead planet—and identical powers—including laser-vision and flight. Even their code names are comparable. However, if we look deeper, it becomes obvious that Metroman and Superman are two very different characters.

Superman is all about being an upstanding hero. Although he can be annoyingly persnickety, and sometimes displays nearly oppressively unyielding strictures about right and wrong, one thing you can say about the Man of Steel is that he’s generally integral. He is exactly what his public image portrays him to be: a Good Guy through and through. The same isn’t true of Metroman, and in some ways that makes him a more complex and interesting character.

The childhoods of the two heroes are extremely different. As I’ve mentioned in Why Was Megamind Raised in Prison, when a boy, Metroman was a bully, not only making young Megamind an outsider and the object of everything from teasing to physical attacks, but also inspiring other students to do the same. Superman, on the other hand, far from being a bully was bullied by Pete Ross. Rather than using his powers against others, he was too responsible and good-hearted to use them even against Pete Ross. Metroman is adopted by super-wealthy parents, and is essentially a trust-fund baby, while Superman was adopted by a farm family. He grows up with a good work ethic and hometown values. Indeed, this economic discrepancy continues into adulthood. As far as we can tell, Metroman doesn’t need to work and has no job outside being a superhero. Superman, conversely, has to earn a living as a journalist. Finally, in the majority of comics, Superman avoids most public appearances, unless he feels they serve some beneficial social purpose. Indeed, he goes to great lengths to keep his identity a secret and avoid the public eye as much as possible. The first time we see Metroman in the film, however, he is basking in a crowd’s adoration at the dedication of a museum in his honor. Indeed, in the original script, then called Mastermind, Metroman’s real identity seems to be widely known. (In case you’re wondering, this is where the name Wayne Smith, commonly used in the fandom, originates from.) So, we see that these character are actually very different: one is a hero strictly for the greater good, and the other, while he certainly does a lot of good things, is also in it for the fame.

This may seem like I’m being harsh toward poor Wayne Smith, but his flaws do not, in fact, make him a bad person. The issue is that we’re comparing him to Superman who, while still certainly imperfect, is intended to be a better-than-average person in every way, including moral. Make no mistake, Metro City’s former hero isn’t any sort of villain; what he is is normal. If we’re honest, most of us would be pleased by wide-spread accolades and honors. He reacts to positive fame the same way nearly anyone would because, at his heart, he’s really just a typical guy. That is the material point: Wayne Smith really only wants to be an average citizen—a music star, perhaps, but still a relatively ordinary person. In that way, he and Megamind are alike: they both desire, more than nearly anything else, to be normal. The key difference is that Megamind’s sincere and driving concern for his city also makes him ideal for becoming a hero. (You can learn more about this particular fan theory in The Warden and in Megamind and Identity.)

So, why did Wayne Smith become a Defender in the first place, then? Again, I’ve briefly touched on this in previous posts, but it appears likely that Metroman was pushed into heroism just as much as Megamind was pushed into supervillainy. Because he was a bully with superpowers, it’s likely that adults around him realized something had to be done about Wayne. Otherwise he was a danger. So, they constructed an environment—the Li’l Gifted School—where he could be conditioned to seek the praise of others as well as to fight Megamind, who had been singled out as his future nemesis. (In fact, that conditioning is probably why he opted for a career that would put him on stage, aside from a probable love of music.)

Because the path chosen for Megamind involved more hardships and pain, it’s easy to forget that Metroman was in essentially the exact same plight. However, the fact remains that these were both children, and they were both being coerced into perceived destinies they didn’t want. Neither of them were given a choice and, in the end, both of them cast off the expectations pressed upon them to become the people they really wanted to be. The difference is that, because of our natural biases, Megamind’s rise to Defender of Metro City seems more noteworthy than Metroman’s step into Mr. Average Joe. The truth, however, is that both characters were basically doing the same thing: being true to themselves.

Metroman May Have Had Health Concerns

We know Megamind and Metroman are close to the same age—although the latter appears to be about a year rather than days old when he lands on Earth—but what that age is is open to supposition. We know, however, that they are almost certainly in their thirties, probably in their mid- to late-thirties. (Take a look at How Old is Megamind for more information about that.) However, we can see that Wayne is already going gray around the temples. Of course, some people’s genetics simply cause them to go gray earlier, and that’s certainly a possibility, but one fan theory suggest there may be more going on. The idea has been put forward that Wayne’s super-speed may be having an adverse effect on him, forcing his body to work overtime to keep up. The resulting physical stress could be making him age prematurely.

That’s not the only factor to consider. As hard as heroism may have been on his body, the effects on Metroman’s mind would have been even greater. Before the events in the movie, Metro City’s authorities—and, indeed, all its citizens—became too reliant upon their superhuman hero, and as a result that hero was run ragged. That isn’t a mere hypothesis. A scene that was storyboarded but never included in the final film makes Metroman’s plight perfectly clear. We see him being called from one end of the city to the other for everything from a massive explosion to an old lady needing help opening a jar. Keep in mind that, when hearing a cry for assistance, the hero would likely be unable to tell who truly needed him urgently and who was simply making unnecessary demands, thus he would have to rush to every call he heard. Even the city’s law enforcement seems to take him for granted, refusing to take criminals he just hand-delivered to jail because they’re on lunch break. The cumulative effect is that Metroman looks nearly frantic with stress.

This is important because, aside from the obvious mental and emotional concerns, this sort of stress accelerates aging as well. According to an article in the Huffington Post, when glycation and telomere shortening, as well as the over-oxidation, are caused by enduring heightened stress for prolonged periods of time, it can result not only in graying hair and premature wrinkles, but heart trouble as well. Even the memory can be affected, as one study by the University of Wisconsin found that stress can age a person’s brain up to four years faster than normal, and contribute to cognitive problems later in life. (The study was part of a presentation—you have no idea how badly I wanted to write that word in all-caps—and is thus currently unpublished, but information about it can be found in an article from Over Sixty.)

Metroman Retired for the Good of Everybody

As you can see, in a strange way, having a super-powered Defender was actually crippling Metro City. In fact, it may be truly damaging to the local infrastructure and official organizations. Youtuber Olaf Scholtens, in his video Megamind: Power and Identity, uses the metaphor of an airplane manufacturer to explain what’s going on. (If you’ve read my own post Megamind and Identity, you’ve seen this before.) Engineers and factories put a lot of effort and expense into making certain aircraft are as safe as possible, but what would happen if they felt they could confidently assume a superhero would simply catch any plane that crashed, saving everyone on board? Safety standards would probably become far more lax, and people might be in far more danger as a result. Given the way that nearly everyone in Metro City seems to assume Metroman will always save the day, it’s possible that, within the urban area, the same thing could be happening with things like building code enforcement, large construction projects, and even public safety measures. Bridges might not be properly built, fire hazards might not be addressed, and, given the blasé attitudes of the cops in the storyboard, law enforcement officers might not even be bothering to keep an eye on things. By retiring, Metroman forced the city to become more self-sufficient again.

That, however, may not have been the only problem Metroman was trying to solve. Remember the whole discussion about the former Defender’s school boy bullying and the apparent conspiracy to turn one boy into a hero and the other into a supervillain? It’s possible Wayne may have felt remorse for the former and found out about the latter. Having battled Megamind so much in the past, he also may have realized that the blue man never actually hurt anyone, and in fact went out of his way to stage their confrontations in abandoned places. (Again, you can read more about that in both Megamind and Identity and The Warden.) It may be that Metroman real “brilliant plan” wasn’t simply to fake his death, but in doing so to prod Megamind into becoming a hero and thus accepted by society.

There is an alternative theory, put forward in a Reddit post, that Megamind and Metroman’s parents may have known one another, and may have sent both children to Earth with the intention of them becoming a dynamic duo, fighting evil together with Megamind as the brains and Metroman as the brawn. This could have been what Megamind’s father meant when he told his son: “You are destined for greatness.” While there is very little support for this in the movie, it would explain why, in the vast cosmos, both of the young survivors were sent not only to the same planet, but even to the same city.

Whatever the reason may have been, one thing is certain: there certainly is some evidence that Metroman intended his one-time nemesis to become a hero. One of his lines, after Roxanne and Megamind discover he’s still alive, supports this. You know the one. “If there’s bad, good will rise up against it. It’s taken me a long time to find my calling; now it’s time you find yours.” Then, of course, there is another line, when Music Man is watching his former enemy take the role of Defender of Metro City: “way to go, Little Buddy. I knew you had it in you.”

If Metroman really did purposefully help Megamind step into heroism, that could also explain why he didn’t stop Megamind from taking over the city—perhaps he trusted the blue man not to harm anyone and to eventually come to his senses—as well as why he refuses to overtly help defeat Titan. He does, however, clearly subtly assist Megamind, as the latter almost certainly went back to Wayne’s hideout to scan his appearance and voice into the holowatch. All of this together makes it seem quite plausible that Metroman not only wanted to retire, but also wanted the blue man to take his place.

Megamind and Metroman by White-Night-56 on Deviant Art

Maybe this means that, now that Megamind is the Defender of Metro City, he and Music Man occasionally get together to commiserate over the more difficult aspects of being a superhero and joke about the old days.

It’s also quite possible that all of these fan theories could be true. The film Megamind is, among other things, surprisingly subtle, complex, and subversive for an animated movie. Every time I dive deep into some aspect or other of the plot, I am once again impressed by the amount of thought and detail that went into this work. No wonder Megamind—and its characters—have so many dedicated fans.

[closer-stars]

Gut Feeling (5)

Member: San Genre: Angst, just Stress Word Count: 9k Content: Food. Realizations. Frustrations. Just a lot bro Note: idk i like slow burn and just this type of idea leaves a lot of space to make shit feel frustrating and powerless if that makes sense. i’ll update the links after 24 hours. this has been proof-read but will continue to do so later on wahu. happy new year yall Tag list: @barsformars @hwaberrykiwi @yeotlny @miniyeo @shinyddeonghwa @seoultraveller

Part 4

“Choi San!”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Then stop acting like a child!”

“Stop treating me like one then!”

The rest of the boys didn’t expect the outburst (except for roughly two of them), pairs of eyes darted from you and to the male. They’ve never seen you snap like this, not even when they were being pains in the ass for you, not even when Yeosang’s sharp tongue got the better of him, hell even if other staff members were being an asshole to you. They’ve seen San snap but not to the level where he answers back to those who they speak with respect. Both of you stand there, unmoving, jaws clenched and stiff, waiting for the other to make a move. Your eyes are hard to read, rocky maybe, as if you had immediately put up a wall before anyone could make sense of your emotions. The only thing that can be seen was your exhaustion. 

The boys wondered how much of your own struggles did you keep from them about this. 

San on the other hand, had eyes that light up with flames. He’s been sure of his feelings ever since he could remember. Admittedly, he fell for you somewhere along the way, he couldn’t pinpoint where but he did. He knows you’ve been harboring feelings for him too and for you to deny it had brought him so much frustration. It was a relief their current promotions are much more powerful otherwise, he would’ve lashed out from anger. The way you talked to him previously had been brewing in his mind. 

You’re the first one to make a move: you break eye contact and heave a sigh. “I’m going to get air. Hongjoong, you know what to do.” Your voice hangs clear in the heavy air, Hongjoong’s firm acknowledgement lets you leave smoothly. With a flick of your wrist, you toss the remote of the sound system to him on your way out. The only thing that could be heard from the room were your footsteps and the door closing behind you.

[You to Manager Yoon] Manager Yoon! Where are you?

[Manager Yoon to You ] Still in the office, why? 

You pause for a moment, trying to think of an excuse. Just for once, you want to be selfish. 

[You to Manager Yoon] Can you be the one to bring the boys home? I have a migraine. Not a good idea to be behind the wheel. 

[Manager Yoon] Who’s going to bring you home?

[You] I’ll get a taxi. Please? The boys will be finished within an hour. 

[Manager Yoon] Alright! Stay safe and take care of yourself. 

[You] Yes, thank you. 

It doesn’t take longer than five minutes for a taxi to arrive outside the building. You slip inside and the driver’s back on the road to bring you back to your apartment. You don’t realize how long you’ve been holding your breath until you settle into your seat.

“Long day?” The driver says, his aged voice bringing you out of your thoughts for a moment. Surprisingly, you still had enough energy to keep it light.

“Yes, can’t wait to get some rest.” You return, there’s an evident strain in your voice and it makes him chuckle.

“Life really is tough in your twenties to thirties isn’t it? Everything’s confusing, constant distractions, constant questions.” He sounded like a grandfather that needs some company so you entertain his thoughts. 

“Yes, a lot of things are happening and so many people expect us to know everything at this age.” You rest your head against the window, watching as people rush about to release the week’s stress. 

“It’s good you’re taking the time to rest tonight. Drinking and clubbing can only do so much, kiddo.” The driver chortles, and it seems he’s reminiscing his younger days. This causes you to chuckle softly, letting him talk as much as his heart wants. It was a good distraction from how your life has been in disarray. 

 Considering it was a friday night, the traffic was enough to be noticed. You don’t have the heart to put on your headphones to drown out everything for the sake of the old man. As you head home, the conversation spins towards your work. 

“A manager for an idol group? That isn’t easy, no? My granddaughter’s been a big fan of that one group, they did that black cat song recently.. Uh what was their name..” He grumbles, frustrated at his poor memory. 

“ATEEZ?” You pipe in carefully, heart warming slightly at how well your boys have done. 

“Is that their name? I think so, it is familiar. They seem like good boys too. She really likes that San guy too.” 

“They are.” You agree, your chest feeling a mix of ease and discomfort. Nevertheless, the general public was falling for the boys and you couldn’t help but feel pride in that. You try to disregard the comment about San, finding it to be life being an asshole to you. The taxi rolls up to the entrance of your apartment complex and you thank the man for his help. “Please have this too, you’ve worked a lot too.” You say as you hand him your payment. He’s surprised with the small bag of snacks you’ve been carrying this entire time that you handed to him with your payment. You bid him goodbye, carefully walking into the safety of your apartment complex. 

-------

Your body feels lighter after the shower and you look through your laptop for the files that have been nagging your mind. Mumbles of the files you’re looking for spill through your mouth as you glare at your laptop screen. The only thing that could be heard in your room is the sound of your fingers over the keyboard, ever since becoming a manager for such a loud group, you’ve come to appreciate the silence. 

“There we go.” 

Once the files are open, you look through your application, looking for a certain portion as your interview plays in the back of your head. From there, you type your letter to the superiors. It takes a few tries until you’re satisfied with it. For now, you’ll sleep on it, thinking if you should push through with this change or hold on until Manager Hwang comes back. At least, the letter has helped you clear your head on things that weren’t related to San. 

As you lean against your seat, you let soft music play as you try to figure out your feelings. Your stomach grumbles. After everything that happened, you forgot that you have yet to have your dinner. The boys have but you forgot to eat earlier. Not wanting to change clothes again, you opt for delivery. 

Was the universe laughing at you for your clashing feelings and thoughts? Your playlist plays songs that were unfortunately fitting for your situation. 

You’re still on the fence over your feelings for him. You have come to appreciate his presence in your life, in and outside of work but you were against putting romance where your work lies, that’s one of your rules. Especially when it comes to harboring feelings for the idol, that was a line you didn’t want to cross. You know how fans can be, and while fan attitudes can differ from person to person, people who liked the same artist seem to eventually carry the same attitudes. You didn’t know much about their fans, especially in this situation where fans couldn’t watch them perform in person. Some of them seem to be sweethearts, some less than stellar people. If you were honest with yourself, You didn’t want to give in to San or to yourself merely because of how fans can be when they realize their idols are dating. Heck, their friend resigned to save their group’s face. You didn’t want San to go through that. 

You were never a fan of the boyfriend or girlfriend image idols had to put on themselves. 

A series of katalks and knocking brings you out of your thoughts once more and you decide to attend to the knocking first once you smell the food wafting in. 

Hands full of the food you order for yourself for the night, you stop the music and decide to let your Netflix be your white noise as you eat and look through your messages. 

[Hongjoong to Group Chat] Manager-nim! What’s our call time tomorrow?

[Seonghwa] Hongjoong and I talked to San once we got back to the dorms. Manager Yoon doesn't know about it?

[Yunho to Group Chat] I thought it was you who was going to bring us home… teary_eyed_frodo

[San] I’m sorry

You didn’t think he would send you a message so soon.

Cheeks stuffed with noodles, you reply thoroughly to each of them. 

[You to Group chat] Wake up by 5AM, i’ll pick you up 6AM. 7AM for hair and make up, breakfast in the salon, 10AM to 6PM schedule. 7PM onwards studio/training or whatever you guys want to do. 

[You to Seonghwa] Oh okay, let’s talk about that tomorrow? Yes, Manager Yoon doesn’t know anything about it.

[You to Group chat] Ah sorry, I ended up with a migraine ^^;; 

[You to Group chat] Aw, haha! I’ll do my best!

You continue to eat, until your stomach is stuffed and you need to take a breather. It’s been awhile since you let yourself eat your comfort food without a care. 

The unread notification nags at you as you eat, even if you try to eat in peace. The thoughts start to run a mile a minute again and it makes your chest tighten up again. You push yourself up again and look through your refrigerator for some drink. Anything to ease your anxious thoughts from making it hard for you to breathe again. Not replying to him even on chat seemed a little cold even for you.

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

Why were Kakaotalk notifications so aggressive on vibrate? Another mouthful of noodles and spicy dumplings. 

[Mingi to Group chat] Are you okay now?

[Jongho to Group chat] Sleep early, Manager-nim.. We have a long day tomorrow.

[Yeosang to Group chat] Make sure to eat too!!

You felt bad for telling them a white lie but you needed to get out of that building. You send them a heart to acknowledge their messages for their peace. Once you’ve finished your meal, you freshen yourself up for bed, making sure your alarm was on for the following day. 

--------

On the other side of the line, the boys are in their dorms now. All of them in their sleep wear but in the living room to talk about things that need to be discussed. “San, you need to explain everything.” Seonghwa speaks up softly. Hongjoong sits on the corner of the couch, he’s not looking at anyone as he tries to make sense and do damage control as much as possible. 

The younger member looks at everyone, then at Hongjoong and Seonghwa, fearing that they’d be angry for various reasons. In hindsight, he should’ve just talked about it with either of them but his pride got in the way. The weight of keeping everything in slides off his back with a dejected sigh. He tells them everything, starting from when he found your antics adorable, to you going out of your way to take care of them even beyond your line of work. The boys really can’t blame him, they did sacrifice a part of their lives for their dreams. It’s natural to have a want to experience something as normal as falling in love, even if it’s a little misguided. He includes the part where he assumes that you and Seonghwa were a thing. This results in six heads turning from San to Seonghwa in less than a heartbeat. 

“Time out, time out.” Seonghwa says, after regaining his composure from such a curveball. “This entire time, you thought we were a thing?” He asks, eyes wide with confusion. The older won’t admit that he’s amused by the misconception but he is alarmed that it has reached such heights. 

The question has San straightening his back in confusion. “Yeah, the two of you are always together, more than anyone else. Also they’re more talkative with you… they just look more comfortable with you than me..” He tries to explain but the more he goes on the more he realizes how stupid he sounds. 

Stunned silence falls over the eight of them, Hongjoong still thinking on how to approach this. Wooyoung sits back against the backrest of the couch, his head resting against the palm of his hand. “So this is the extent of how jealousy affects him.” Cue, two hands flicking his shoulders. “Ow!” The attention shifts back to Hongjoong when he repositions himself in his seat. 

“Seonghwa, you didn’t know about that part? Not even when you talked to them?” 

The older shakes his head, “We didn’t get the chance to talk too much.. Things kept getting in the way.” He purses his lips in mild annoyance at how things played out for everyone. “But,” he continues, and the way his voice carries in the room has everyone looking at him. “I’ll find a way to talk to them again.” 

It’s not really a surprise that San thought Seonghwa was the favored one but here they are, in a middle of chaos because of his assumptions. 

“San, you have to talk to them as soon as possible and fix all of these. We can’t do everything for this.” Hongjoong says, his tone gentle. Being angry at this point won’t solve anything and god forbid two of his own members start fighting, and it had to be the two with the scariest tempers. The younger winces at the idea that his ego got the better of him and how he still has the audacity to worry about how you’d think of him once he comes clean with everything.

“I will, hyung.” With that, the meeting has ended and everyone’s retreating into their rooms. San catches Yunho’s worried look and he tries to shoot a reassuring smile at the male. “I’ll manage, Yunho. I haven’t failed yet.” 

He hopes those won’t be his famous last words. 

--------

Your phone wakes you up. Time for work. It takes a few tries (with some disgruntled whines) to finally start the day. “Fuck.. One more round for this promotion period.” You manage to grab yourself an oat drink on the way out, just to stave off the hunger until you arrive at the salon with all eight boys. 

You arrive outside their dorm, knocking on the door. In a few seconds, Seonghwa’s the first one you see, already ready while the others are finishing up. “Morning!” You didn’t think he was a morning person, but here he is in a chipper mood than you. 

“Morning, Seonghwa. Is everyone ready?” You peek behind him for a moment then back to the male in front of you. 

“Give them five minutes.” Seonghwa suggests and lets you into their dorm, instead of letting you wait outside. 

Finding discomfort in having to be in their personal space, you close the door quietly and wait outside. “Just don’t stall too much.” You say under your breath. Do you put too much trust in the boys? Seeds of uncertainty have been growing in your stomach as the promotions continue amidst the chaos behind the scenes. You need quiet time soon. Your eyes flit to the time in your phone, rough estimates run through your head as you debate on waiting here or heading to the car to start it up. 

Before you could even come up with a decision, the door opens with eight boys already ready to start the day. Your eyes automatically go to Seonghwa and Hongjoong for reassurance. The show must go on after all. 

--------

You can tell they’ve gotten used to performing even without a physical audience. They’ve grown rapidly as performers with each stage. You’ve eventually built up a wall between you and the members, not too fast that the others notice it but just enough for people to reason your absence with logic until they get used to it. The more you stray from them, the more you linger with the other staff members who went with you and the group. While your heart is confused with San, you find yourself in ease with people who also enjoy being behind the scenes. They share stories of their experience in the industry, crazy stories to horror stories. All of which gave you tips and lessons. You tell them yours as well, not everything, but just those that can be shared and in the exchange, you find yourself able to laugh freely again. 

The boys let you be. They understand what had just happened between you and San is still fresh. It doesn’t stop San stealing glances at you, guilty and frustrated at what has happened. 

“Let them be, San.” Yunho says softly in between spoonfuls of his meal. San’s eyes tear away from you and it makes Yunho sympathize with him. He can see how San still feels guilty about it but still so prideful, still so stubborn. “They’ll come around eventually. At least they’re still doing their job right?” He adds, in hopes of pointing out something good despite the chaos. 

“I guess so..” The other returns, eventually focusing on his meal as they get ready to perform. 

It doesn’t take long until they’re called on stage and the room mellows down to quiet chatter among staff members. Manager Bae approaches you as you busy yourself with your own phone and laptop. “Are you okay?” he asks you as he drops next to you. He leans against the table as his eyes are kept on the tv screen. 

Your fingers fly over the keyboard as you pen another email to send to the externals team. Eyes snap to the man next to you as before turning your attention back to your laptop. “Why the question? I’m alright as far as I know.” 

He shakes his head for a moment, before taking a sip of the instant coffee. “No reason, just checking up on you after the intense schedules lately. They can take a toll on anyone.”

You would know. At his words, you shake your head to reassure him. “I knew what I was getting into when I sent my work application here.” Not entirely a lie. You were ready for hectic schedules especially for a rising idol group. What you weren’t ready for was feelings from a rising idol but that was besides the point. You scan through your email once more, making sure all the important details are in it before pressing send. “I promise, I’m able to get with the pace. If I can’t, at least let me stay until the end of a promotional cycle.” You add with a light chuckle. 

The older looks at you with slight concern that you don’t catch, too busy rearranging your schedule. “If there’s any trouble besides health, don’t hesitate to tell any of us alright?” He says. You hum in agreement, doing your best to reassure him. It doesn’t take long until the boys are up on screen, pouring their heart out as if they’ve been doing this for so long. You could hear some sounds of admiration a few rooms down and you could only assume that it’s the rookies watching the same stage. There’s really just something about San performing, especially a song like Thanxx. Would it be right to compare San to a chameleon? Any color he seems to just get into it but it didn’t seem to be right. There’s something about the song that makes you think ‘This is the group that has captured the public’ and San’s practically shining on this stage. You force yourself out of it, focusing on everyone as well and you find yourself grinning at Yeosang’s cheekiness. 

You rest your chin on the palm of your hand, a lazy grin still on your features. “Who knew Yeosang would bring out this cheekiness?” You ask softly and it makes Manager Bae laugh. 

“He’s always been that type of guy but having it on stage really is a bit of shocker.” 

You lean against your seat, somehow impressed with how much Yeosang has grown as a performer. “Oh, have you received news so far on Manager Hwang?”

He looks at you with a raised brow in jest. “Itching to get away from the chaos the boys bring?” The question causes you to defend yourself immediately, floundering over words and while waving your hands to push away such thought. While in a different context completely, the words hit a little too close to home. Manager Bae laughs at your reaction, “Relax, to answer your question, Hwang’s doing better now. He’ll be back by the end of the year.” 

A few more months, but a few more weeks of this hectic schedule. You can last, at least you hope so. 

The boys finish their stage without a hitch and they return to the dressing room still high on the stage adrenaline. You let them settle down first as they catch their breath for their next schedule. Somehow Seonghwa manages to pull you aside. 

“We need to continue our talk soon..” He mumbles away from everyone’s earshot. You bite your bottom lip and concede to his wishes. 

“Fine, after this week of schedules.” 

---------

The talk doesn’t happen much to your relief and their frustration. Their schedules were swamped still with offers and preparations for upcoming shows. Little by little though, you slowly excuse yourself from their free time. Only appearing for when you need to bring them home or to their schedules. 

But even if the talk doesn’t happen, you’re still stressed with no sign of a break. Every moment you have to yourself throughout the day is spent trying to catch your breath and calm your racing heart and mind. You look at the time, their last schedule was about to end and so will everyone’s shift. It’s your turn to bring all the boys home, and with that your schedule essentially ends by now. The boys are in the studio, practicing for a different stage this time, reviewing old pieces that can be reinvented for the new performance. Almost half the boys are on their backs, exhausted from the long day they have. You sigh, knowing how it feels to be so tired and so hungry after hectic schedules. “Alright, what do you guys want for dinner?” You ask them and they look up at you through the bullets of sweat that has been running down their skin. It’s when the question catches no answer from the boys that give you an idea of just how exhausted they are. “Guys? What do you want for dinner? It’s on me.” 

“Fried chicken please?”

“Can we get meat?”

“Cola too..” 

Even without looking at each of their faces, you can already see the pout on some of their faces. A soft chuckle slips from your lips, taking notes of their wants. “Think you guys can hold on for a few minutes?” 

“Knowing them, anything for food.” Seonghwa says as he gets back up on his feet, slipping on a jacket. “I’ll go with you.” You look at him with a raised eyebrow, knowing that this can go a certain direction. You don’t say anything but nod at his words, you spin on your heels and leave the studio. You didn’t want to look at San’s direction, you just can’t get yourself to look at his general direction even if he was just a few feet in front of you. 

Once out of the building, you find yourself breathing out a sigh of relief which Seonghwa notices. “Long day?” He asks softly, as he walks with you towards the nearest restaurants. All you really do is just hum in agreement. You weren’t in any mood to talk about how your days have been since that argument, your supposed meet with Jiwoo kept getting pushed back, so you’ve been stuck on your own for who knows how long. He senses how tired you are, figuring it would be better to keep the talk to a later time. The two of you end up walking quietly down the road, looking for the favorite restaurant of the boys. He has to tug at your sleeve to get you back to reality once the both of you arrive outside the restaurant. “We’re here.. Did you want coffee?” He asks as he opens the door for the two of you. 

There were a few tables that were occupied but not to the point where your health could be on the line. “Can we ask for take out?” You ask the staff, they know your face by now for the same orders over the past few months. The answer is an obvious yes but it never hurts to ask especially with everything happening. 

“The usual?” 

“Yes, plus a few add-ons..” You list down the drinks and other side dishes the boys would definitely want post training. Seeing you converse with the staff, Seonghwa somehow understands why San fell for you but he also somehow understands why you’re so apprehensive. It’s just a matter of time to make the two of you see each other’s reasons and find a middle ground. Now that all the orders have been listed, they let you take a seat on one of the available tables. The two of you finally let your feet rest as you try to find ways to kill time. It was tricky to talk about the elephant in the room with the restaurant still being occupied by people besides the two of you. 

“Manager-nim..” Seonghwa calls softly, watching you practically deflate in your seat. “You really need to rest.” 

“After your promotions, I will.” You say as you stretch your back in your seat. The male eyes you with worry but you’re very much like them, stubborn and wanting others to not worry about them. 

The two of you busy yourselves with other conversations to kill the time, monitoring how the public have been finding their performances, and other offers that were around the corner for them.

What the two of you didn’t know was that someone had recognized Seonghwa and has proceeded to sneak a photo of him with you. The stranger has managed to post it on social media, causing a stir online on who could be with him and if he was dating. It doesn’t take too long for the tweet to spread around social media, and fortunately for the two of you, the food comes in quickly. “Come again soon and stay safe and healthy!” says the staff as the two of you bow your thanks and hurry off to return to seven hungry boys. 

In the studio, some of the guys catch on their sleep with a nap while they wait for your return. The others busy themselves on their phones, looking at what their fans have been talking about and what wishes to fulfill on stage. Yunho notices that Seonghwa’s name is on the trending topics and decides to snoop around, wondering what did he do this time that has the fans wrapped around him. His eyes slip towards San, who was deep asleep on the floor, his cap covering his face. He looks over at Hongjoong who was busy doing the same, probably looking at the letters fans have sent to them. “Hyung..” He whispers softly, as he slowly slides over to the older male. 

The older looks at his screen and already knew what was up from just a quick glance. 

[Hongjoong to Seonghwa] Where are you

[Hongjoong to Seonghwa] hey people think you’re dating someone. 

Hongjoong scrolls through the posts and he sighs in relief as it seems that they don’t know it’s you. Your features could barely be seen from the angle it was shot. 

[Hongjoong to Seonghwa] they think you’re dating manager-nim seriously, hurry quick because people are gonna fuss over it the longer you’re out. 

“It’ll be fine, Yunho. As long as the others don’t see it.. And we have mature fans, they’ll be able to take care of this.” It’s also a reassurance for him too. They never really had a dating scandal and he kind of wishes it would stay like that as long as possible. “If anything bad happens, just tell me okay? We’ll be able to take care of it.” 

--------

Seonghwa’s phone vibrates almost nonstop and you take a plastic bag with the food from him to let him check his phone. “The boys?” you ask as the two of you walk back to the agency. It’s his groan that makes you look at him from the corner of your eye. “What happened?” You press. 

“Someone took a photo of us in the restaurant, thinking I’m dating you.” He explains with another hiss of annoyance. “Your face isn’t seen but it’s making rounds.”

[Seonghwa to Hongjoong] On our way back

[Seonghwa to Hongjoong] Five minutes. 

He takes the bag back from you and starts to walk a little quicker. “Let’s hurry back.” He says. 

If it weren’t for how he was walkiing so fast, you would’ve stood there stunned by such assumptions from strangers. You do your best to match his pace, all while making sure nothing spills from the containers. You just hoped the rest of the group and the company sees none of this otherwise, you are quite literally screwed. 

--------

Everyone was slowly waking up in the studio, and thanks to Wooyoung’s sharp nose, he could already smell the food. They know better than to doubt his sense of smell.  “They’re here! They’re here!” Wooyoung exclaims. San being the hardest to wake up, it takes a while for him to regain his surroundings. He rolls across the floor, not wanting to get up. “Hey San! They brought meat!” Wooyoung exclaims and that was enough to get him to sit up first, trying to shake away the grogginess. The latter eventually stands up and drags himself to the kitchen where everyone was at this point. He pats his jacket down, just to make sure if his phone was in there as he walks down the hallway. The bustling in the kitchen was hushed from the weariness but still lively from guys who are aching to get something in their stomach. 

San is greeted by the sight of his members bustling around the food, excited to eat something filling. He’s also greeted by the sight of you sitting a little further away from where Seonghwa is, instead opting to sit near Jongho and Yunho. Hell, you’re far from where he sits too. He wonders if something had happened on the way here for you to be this quiet. 

You had let the boys busy themselves with their own meals as you eat yours quietly. Your fingers scroll through social media as you search for tweets regarding the dating rumor. Despite Seonghwa having reassured you that your face couldn’t be seen, you wanted to see it for yourself. There were already heated discussions about the group and who the mystery person is. Some fans found an account that they assume is you. A part of you had to give it to them for thinking that random user is you, but it’s not. The other part is terrified of how skilled they can be in searching for people on the internet that matches their assumptions. Some fans had managed to control the flames before it reached the rest of the fans. The mere idea that they could’ve found your social media makes your blood run cold still. You really can’t do this. 

The meal time ends soon and the boys are ready to head home. “Can you guys take out the trash? I’ll get the car ready.” You say. 

“Sure thing, Manager-nim. ‘Kay Wooyoung, get in the bag.” Yeosang jokes, gesturing for his friend to get into the used bag and it was enough to get the room sputtering from the sudden comment. 

“Yeosang!” You sputter out through laughter. It’s how Wooyoung looks at his best friend that has you doubling over. It’s been a while since you managed to let out laughter that was so genuine and it does lift your spirits even for a short while. “I can’t believe you guys, I’ll wait for you all by the car okay?” 

Now that you had left first, Seonghwa lets out a breath he’s been holding the entire time. “San, we need to talk first.” This makes everyone turn to the two of them. San raises an eyebrow out of alarm and concern.

“Did something happen?” 

Now, Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Yunho look at each other in confusion. They honestly had expected that San would know by now as he was often on his phone during their down time. He was also usually the first to know the trends. How else did he get everyone to hit the whoa constantly? 

It had to come from Seonghwa. “For transparency’s sake, some stranger took a photo of Manager-nim and I thinking we were on a date, right while we were waiting for our food. They didn’t catch Manager-nim’s face but it’s kind of everywhere online. Just needed to let you know to avoid misunderstandings.” 

The first few words made his stomach drop but thankfully it didn’t go any lower. San honestly didn’t know what else to say, was he jealous that people thought you and Seonghwa were a thing? Somewhat. Was he worried for the group and for you about this news? Pretty much. He does have faith in their fans to know better than to believe something so baseless. Despite that, a lot of emotions were running through him. For now, he had to push them away. “I, uh, I see… uh, Thanks for letting me know, hyung. Let’s go? Manager-nim’s going to wonder why we’re taking too long.”

“We can just say we tried to fit Wooyoung in the bag, hehet.”

“Agh! Kang Yeosang!” 

--------

It takes a few minutes for them to head down, and by then you were already in the driver’s seat, waiting for them. “Maybe I shouldn’t have waited for them.” You mumble. By the time you finish the thought, the car doors swing open and the boys slowly trickle into the car. 

“Sorry we took so long.” Jongho’s voice startles you, nearly making you drop your phone. “Yeosang-hyung was actually trying to get Wooyoung-hyung into the bag.” 

His words make you twist in your seat to look at Yeosang. “How did that go?” Your question makes Wooyoung whine at how you were also teasing him. For a few moments, things were back to normal, which for the most part was good as it helped you destress. The ride back home went by smoothly, the boys busy with themselves while Jongho kept you company in the passenger’s seat. 

Once all of you arrived back in the apartment, they hop off and now that you were on your own again, you let out a sigh. The back of your head resting against the headrest of the driver’s seat. A few more rounds then this promotional cycle is done. You rub your stiff shoulders, maybe you should invest in a newer bag soon. After the quiet moments on your own in the car, you suppose that you should get out and head to your place. 

Just as you’re walking towards the elevator, you’re greeted by the boys still lingering. “I thought you guys went up already.” You mumble. 

“San said to wait for you so we did.” Yunho chimes in and you look at them with a raised eyebrow. It takes a lot from you to actually spare that man a glance. It’s mind reeling when you actually share a glance. 

“I see..”

“Though if it’s payback for making you wait earlier then that’s also understandable.” He adds quickly, which once again causes a small smile to form on your features. You don’t really see how the others look relieved to see you smiling a little more even just for today. The joke makes you shake your head, endeared by their actions. 

“Come on, it’s late.” You usher the boys in once the doors slide open. Now, while in bigger spaces, you had control of where you can be and who to be with. In something as small as an elevator, you didn’t have much choice. You were stuffed next to San by the corner. Somehow it was already agreed that you’d be the first one to be dropped off, something about you deserving to get more sleep than them. You’d like to disagree but when the battle is eight against one, it was better to let it be. You haven’t been in contact with San unless it’s a group related matter so to have him  The doors open and you immediately get yourself out of the lift, you bid them a good night and you immediately walk off, not wanting to look him in the eye, even when you felt his gaze on you. 

San was about to follow you but the doors closed in on them and already started moving towards their floor. Yunho notices him deflate in his spot, pulling his hat down over his features. He doesn’t say anything about this for now, instead waiting for them to arrive at their rooms just so they can talk about this. The taller male looks at the screen go through the other floors until they arrive at their floor. He decides to trail behind with San, making sure that the others don’t hear them. “Go and shower before me, I know you’re stuck in your head again.” The other says nothing but nod. Yunho says nothing when he catches sight of San quickly wiping at his face underneath the hat. 

--------

San’s already in bed, waiting for his roommate to finish showering. He’s busy on his phone instead of being on the computer. You haven’t replied to his messages either. He sees the tweets, well some of it, as the original posts are now deleted or are now hidden behind private accounts. Regardless, he still can see the aftermath from questionable accounts and his fans. He’s slowly understanding why you’ve been unresponsive and evasive of him. It’s not excusable but it gives him a perspective on why you did the things you did. 

Yunho finally enters the room, hair still dripping wet from his shower. “Took you awhile.” San says, trying to act fine, even when the two of them know better. 

“You know how Seonghwa-hyung is when it comes to the shower.” Yunho returns lightheartedly, and from a few feet away, they can hear Seonghwa yell in defense. The two roommates glance at each other for a moment, surprised that the eldest heard their banter before chuckling to themselves. Yunho then shuts the door quietly, just so they can talk a little more freely without the pressure of the other members hearing in on them. “Wanna talk about what’s going on in your head?” He starts as he dries his hair with a towel. 

The question makes San think for a moment. That’s the thing with him, when his thoughts are too muddled, making them into a coherent phrase is a challenge. “I really don’t know why I wanted to go after them.” He admits after moments of silence. If they stayed quiet long enough, they could hear Hongjoong and Yeosang playing video games in the living room. “I’ve avoided them long enough that they’re doing the same now.” He continues dejectedly. 

Yunho mulls over his words and knowing how everyone is, spread too thin with their current schedules and for their upcoming schedules. It would be hard to think clearly in this current situation. “Tell you what,” he starts, tossing his towel over the chair. “Try to talk to them after our promotions, we won’t be promoting until somewhere in 2021.” He sits up on his bed, his pillow on his lap. “Manager-nim been so tired too, late nights from us and helping out the externals with putting our names out there. Didn’t they get us a photoshoot with a big magazine?”

San has noticed it too, your eyebags have been a lot more prominent even when you try to cover it up with the make up tips their makeup artists teach you. The attentive light in your eyes have dimmed slightly and he has seen you staring into space or napping when there’s time for you. To approach you know would strain you even more and he’s already done enough of that. 

“You’ll figure it out, San. Don’t rush it.” Yunho reassures and somehow San wants to believe in himself the way Yunho does too. 

--------

You’re still hung up on the posts on social media, scrolling through all the posts made by users as they try to figure out who Seonghwa was with. Someone posts a profile that looks a lot like yours and it makes your stomach drop. It’s yours. Somehow, they found your profile as one of the probable people that Seonghwa hung out with. On adrenaline, you try to read through the post and comments, most of which were to your defense. You were grateful for that but you didn’t feel comfortable knowing strangers on the internet know of your account and are possibly going through your posts. 

[ You to Manager Chat ] can someone cover my shift tomorrow? 

You realize your message might be taken for worse so you quickly follow it up.

[ You to Manager Chat ] It’s nothing serious. I just think my body’s going to get sick if i don’t take care of it now. 

[ Manager Bae to Manager Chat ] I’ll cover. Take care of yourself especially in this time. You sure you only need one day? 

The question makes you pause. You want more than a day but you’ll have to play it out. 

[ You to Manager Chat ] I’ll feel it out and let you know asap. Thank you :( 

[ You to Manager Chat ] I trust you enough to let you get the keys from my apartment.

You send the passcode to your place to the chat and tell them where you keep the keys whenever it’s you on the job. Once they acknowledge your messages you toss your phone elsewhere. 

Your body deflates on the bed as you try to figure out how to manage your social media accounts without looking suspicious to the fans. Your eyes glance to the digital clock by your bedside. 

2.35 AM

“Fuck..” You groan out, rolling onto your stomach as you try to will yourself to sleep. One step at a time, you’ll get through this. You hope you do. 

--------

The boys are greeted by Manager Bae in their car.  

“It’s not them today?” Seonghwa asks, mildly alarmed by the lack of a heads up in the change of plans. 

“They’re not feeling well today,” he explains much to the worry of the boys. “they needed the rest.” He continues as he waits for the boys to settle into their seats before pulling out of the parking lot. Their manager senses the unease and he can’t help but symphathize. “Boys, they’ll be alright, the schedules just got to them and their body just needs to reset.”

Seonghwa glances at San who has an unreadable expression on his face. “They’ll be okay.” The eldest says as a reassurance for everyone. A small part of him worries if he has some degree of fault as well in this entire situation on your health too. 

--------

You wake up with the sun already at its highest point. Your hand hops around the bed, looking for your phone until you feel the cool metal under your fingertips. Eyes squint through the burning brightness of the sun and your phone screen.

13.45

Nearly twelve hours of sleep isn’t so bad you thought. 

[ San to Group chat ] Manager-nim are you okay?

The message was sent six hours ago. Oops. 

In your still groggy state, you manage to send a reply, not really realizing who sent the message. 

[ You to Group chat ] I’m okay. I just need rest. 

It takes a while for you to get out of your bed. Body still too tired to move properly after months of constantly moving that a day where you get to sleep in and move without rushing is proving to be a shock. 

One way or another, you’re able to make yourself something light to eat with your usual coffee. You manage to get yourself together to take care of yourself without any rush. It’s a nice change, you had to admit: no yelling and bantering, just faint music from your phone. Your music falters for a moment notifying you of a message.

[ Manager Bae to Manager chat ] don’t worry too much about coming in tomorrow. I talked with the team and they want you to take some rest for your safety and everyone else’s. 

[ You to Manager chat ] I’m not fired right… 

[ Manager Bae to Manager chat ] No no! Just get some rest, the company knows you’ve been working hard too. 

You look at the messages and sigh softly. 

[ Manager Bae to Manager chat ] also don’t worry about your planned day off, it’s still set after the promotions. 

You’re starting to appreciate the company you work for after that. You try to quickly get ready for the day, fixing what you need to make sure to get yourself tested for the virus within the day. 

Bzz Bzz! 

It’s Jiwoo. You didn’t think she’d finally have some time after that chaotic news from one of her artists. “Hello?” Her voice booms from the other line and you opt to put her on speaker, wanting to save your ears. 

“Hello! I miss you a lot, I know it was an ass move from me to disappear from you for weeks--”

You cut her off there. “Jiwoo, we’re in an industry that’s kind of cut throat, I kind of understand what you had to do to deal with things..” Your words make her pause for a moment and for a split second, you wonder if she was still okay. 

“Touche, now I owe you my time because I remember you told me something has been bothering you.” She recovers with ease and you’re left to your own devices, putting your phone on the counter as you make yourself a cup of coffee. Her words cause you to falter in your movements, almost spilling some coffee grounds. No escape from this topic really huh. So you ended up telling them everything since the first day of work for the sake of context, up to when San confessed to you. 

“I swear Jiwoo, if news about this breaks out, I will go to you and break your kneecaps.” Your coffee was finally done by the time you finished your story. 

She’s unfazed by your threat, and instead decides to ask you a question. “And how are you with all of these?” 

A quiet sip of the liquidated caffeine to gather your thoughts. “Stressed, worried, I genuinely don’t know what I feel about him.” It was the truth too. You barely had time to process your own feelings even if Seonghwa tried to talk to you. Everything lately has been full speed ahead, no space to pick up the emotions. 

“Do you want my thoughts on this?”

“Please. You know me better than the boys… and me.”

“if you didn’t like them, why would you be so affected?”

It’s a good thing you haven’t taken a sip of your coffee otherwise you would’ve spilled it all over yourself. “Huh?”

Jiwoo clears her throat and you can already picture her sitting up on her bed. “Mind you, I’m just approaching this from an outsider, who also has an inkling of how you can be in this situation. Also from what I know through you and from other staff, San does have a tendency to show his best and genuine side doesn’t he?” The question has your head running back through all the days you spent with him alone. “Don’t get it twisted, okay? I genuinely think you harbor a bit of a liking for him--which is mind you, very understandable based on everything I hear about him. Eventually you know yourself better than I do and considering you won’t be going to work right? Today and tomorrow? Try to think about it.”

Your voice comes out a little weak. “Yeah..” The thought she suggested had you reeling. Did you really have feelings for him?

“I have to go now, I have a meeting in two hours. Talk to you soon?” She says, hoping to hear from you soon. Ideally when both your schedules aren’t as hectic as they are. 

“O-oh yeah sure, let’s hang soon when all of our schedules are over.” With that, the call ends and you stare at your still unfinished cup of coffee. 

You spend the rest of your day in your apartment, catching up on your own hobbies and self. Even if you try to busy yourself with your own interests, you mind wanders back to what Jiwoo said. Did you really have feelings for him? You were so sure of yourself that you could separate your own feelings from work but now you’re not as sure. 

There’s a knock on your door that yanks you out of your thoughts. Who was at the door? 

You push yourself off the floor, pausing your movie as you make your way to the door. The knocks continue, a little more persistent this time. You peek at the peephole and the people you see confuses you. You open the door, greeted by the sight of a startled duo. “Hongjoong, Seonghwa, what are you doing here?” 

“Can we come in? We brought food for you.” 

“You’re lucky I’m not sick.” You mumble, letting them in. 

This is the first time they see your apartment. Maybe it’s because you live alone that they feel like they can breathe easier compared to the full house a few floors above. You know that their eyes are looking around your place, there’s not a lot of items around, you had to admit. You just liked to keep things simple, easier to pack and unpack when you have to move. 

“Oh, you have our albums on display!” Hongjoong exclaims, thoroughly flattered. 

“Of course.” You say, you’re their manager, should you not have their works on display? You were proud of how well they’ve been received by the public too. A nervous hand goes up to rub the back of your neck. “Uh, can I know why you guys are here?” You don’t remember telling them either what number your apartment was. 

Seonghwa sets the food they bought for you on the table. “We wanted to fill you in on some things.” 

“Coffee, water, tea?” 

This was going to be a long night. 

--------

Seonghwa takes another sip of his tea and  Hongjoong hasn’t touched his coffee yet. You on the other hand, haven’t touched your water. “So you’re telling me,” you start, trying to wrap your head around this piece of information. “Choi San, thinks that I liked Seonghwa.” 

“Thought, but yeah..” Seonghwa corrects gently and his gaze carries sympathy at how you just looked so tired with this chaos. Your face is hidden behind your hands before you lean back against your seat. The entire night ended up with the two of them having dinner with you while filling you in on details you missed. 

There’s silence now as you try to absorb the information. It’s only then that Hongjoong drinks his now cold coffee. He glances at the male beside you, concern in his eyes. Truthfully, even he didn’t know how to console you. Everything has been full speed ahead for everyone, while he and the boys are accustomed to it, you needed time to recuperate. “Do you want to say everything in your mind?”

“Hongjoong, my mind’s a mess.”

“That’s perfectly fine. You gotta let it out right?”

So that’s when you filled them in on your conversation with your best friend earlier today. “Her thought is that I have feelings for San too but I don’t know if I do.” Hongjoong peers at you curiously and it’s Seonghwa’s turn to shoot him a look. 

“Because..?” 

“Because, I don’t really spend time with you guys outside work responsibilities?” That was a valid point you had there. Hongjoong hums at your reply, letting you continue. “Don’t get me wrong, all of you are great to be with but the idea of someone… liking me merely because of what I signed up to do is a little weird.” You admit, looking down at your glass of water. “Mind you, the only time I’ve hanged out with you guys outside of work is now and it’s not even everyone.” 

While to them they aren’t surprised that San had caught feelings for you, your logical approach to this somewhat surprised them. San could definitely learn a thing or two from you. 

“Question.” Seonghwa pipes up, two pairs of eyes turning to him. “So what if things happened a little differently, would you have caught feelings for him too?” 

That was admittedly a question you don’t know the answer to. The whole what if premise never entered your thoughts. “I don’t know the answer to that Seonghwa. If I did, I would’ve answered that earlier on.” 

Silence again and the three of you finish your meals. It’s only after that discussion that the boys catch you up with everything and talk with you about other things besides work. It was a nice change you had to admit from everything. “How can you even watch that movie? I had to watch that between my fingers.” The eldest whines much to the mild annoyance of his peer. 

“Cause they don’t get easily scared like you, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong returns with ease, much to your entertainment. You look at the time, and your spirit deflates at how the night has to end. 

“As much as I would like to keep this going, it’s late…” You say carefully. The boys catch your meaning and help you clean up. Bless their hearts for being the ones willing to deal with the trash of the food they bought. “Thank you for tonight. Get some sleep okay?” You bid them a good night, not heading inside until they’re out of your eyesight. The peace is short lived, as you head back inside. The apartment’s quiet again, save for the faint volume of your laptop playing music. Your thoughts though, will start to run eventually. It feels a little lonely this time, it’s been too long since you’ve had people at your place. 

--------

You’re going through social media in bed, wondering what’s new lately. You notice that there’s a new tweets about San, fear runs through your veins, preparing for the worst. When you open the topic, it’s all good words; fans from other idol groups praising him for his performance ethics, professionals from other fields praising him for his attitude and looks. Relief floods over you and you catch yourself shedding tears. You don't understand how something as small as this pushes you to tears but it does. You don't sob, instead they're quiet tears. Not because you didn't want your neighbors or anyone to hear you, you just didn't have the strength to sob.  You’re just tired from everything. 

Maybe that extra day will help you. You hope it will. Hopefully, things get better soon.

Part 6

[watayaaratamblr]

Arata is an unfortunate character.

No, he is NOT!

But if we wish to make him one, then we don't need one fifth of the effort put into making Taichi the "sad" character that most fans keep labeling as "Poor Taichi", and Arata would have been then the most unfortunate character in Chihayafuru. All we need is a good mangaka (Suetsugu is!) & the intention to make him draw sympathy (the whole point), simply because Arata’s story is well packed with good material serving the purpose.

Starting with the fact that he was an almost blind child … Like “looking through a magnifying glass”, hearing voices outside but being unable to see anything~ A child who had to wear glasses from the age of 3, any writer can make this a touching story if so they wished -But Suetsugu sensei did not want to.

Growing up as a weak boy who is a letdown in everything most boys do, crying alone when he fails to fit in, disappointing his father who kept pushing him to go outside and be “normal” like all the other children all while letting go of Karuta that he was confirmed to have liked since he was very young. Writing a bit of his struggles to find a place for himself within the norms could have made readers cry a lot.

His grandfather thankfully extended his hand to him, offered him a place where he can be himself; But that too, created a situation where he maybe had to take a side & deal somehow with the other side because his grandfather & his father had a fight and he can only be torn between them. I’m no writer myself, but I can make this sentimental.

Then his father took him away to Tokyo where he had to be a part of a poor family, and not only to cancel his needs & desires (like for example having different outfits for school instead of the few he will be noticed to wear frequently) but to also work sometimes to support his parents, to wake up before school time in the early mornings when other children are probably sound asleep in their warm beds, to go outside in the cold, to earn some cash and to give it to his parents … I read some real sad stories with this idea. So yeah, Arata could have been one of the saddest characters if Suetsugu wanted him to be.

And not to mention being bullied and laughed at for not only his impoverishment (which he can hope to change) but for his identity (as a boy from Fukui speaking a “weird” dialect). He received all this with lot of patience, and tried to comfort himself by himself with his grandfather’s “gift”, how it was a refugee for him.

Any writer can make a sob story out of Arata’s unspoken loneliness & yearning for home, his grandpa & for playing his beloved Karuta properly.

Or out the fact that he couldn’t make any friends in his new school either (he was confirmed to never have real friends since his childhood through the fact that he struggled to fit in + he stayed like that even after he grew up (like Murao said), and he is not someone who doesn’t care about having friends because he was confirmed to almost worship his bond with Taichi & Chihaya, Taichi specifically even though their friendship isn’t really a comforting one; he longed for friendship however it is!)

He enjoyed that friendship nonetheless, he might even have felt like he was compensated for everything he wished for through it but he was soon robbed of all of it as he was separated from these friends & while he could still enjoy a bit of it through correspondence (at least Chihaya kept in touch), he wasn't as untroubled as needed for that because he was about to lose his precious grandfather.

And the process of losing him wasn’t something to take lightly either. Having busy (or rather negligent?) parents made him (a boy not even 14 years old) a caregiver for an old man who suffered from paralysis on the right side of his body and later dementia, not as simple as that, he had to watch what his most beloved & respected person turn into day & night, when he worked “really hard” (as stated in the manga) with his rehabilitation exercises, when he helped him with his baths, he massaged his limbs, he fed him, constantly talked to him & showed him Karuta cards to “keep him” in this world. And when it's too much for him, he goes outside the room and cries bitter tears silently, all alone! There was this person who suffered from (PTSD) for years because their sick aunt didn’t recognize them (they were her favorite nephew before & they were 17 yo at the time), this person couldn’t visit her since & couldn’t see her before she died & they developed a fear of “getting too close” & of seeing sick people, they had to seek long & serious therapeutic help. And Arata actually suffered from PTSD for over a year & half, any psychologist can easily recognize that from the fact that he quit Karuta, refused to touch & hated to see the cards (I stress on this), how he answered Chihaya when she called him, how the calm & patient him (that we knew from his childhood) was agitated & treated her rudely when she insisted on playing a match. And it was all confirmed in Arata’s last words in the same chapter: “I wanted to see you, I always had, but I didn’t want you to see me like this” (in the official tr), he knew that he wasn’t himself (contrary to what Taichi thought, his friend who decided to abandon him instead of trying to help. Chihaya still had faith in him but Taichi was louder -ch10)

Still, thanks to Chihaya, Arata was back to his beloved Karuta, though we all questioned how much fun he really felt while playing again, how much of him was involved with the game now. And eventually, he himself expressed the pressure (not the fun) he felt while playing. What took his passion away, what turned the feelings of a Karuta baka into mere obligation, this also is good content for an emotionally charged story, it only needs the intention of the writer.

And he shone in the world of Karuta. YET he was never “proud” of it, that was never received as anything special. When he comes back home, none really cares (or at least, none shows any enthusiasm), he goes to the western-challenger qualifiers and his parents won’t even go watch, won’t even prepare some food for him, he comes back home late & finds none, and prepares everything by himself (apart from Yu’s help). His parents pray for his defeat, meaning that his DREAM to become Meijin/be strongest in Karuta doesn’t mean much to them, and he knows it, and he was never shown telling them the news like when you want to share a happy one. Arata’s mother -before giving up after acknowledging Arata’s dedication- wanted his defeat even though there was enough money to support him, the lack of money being the excuse she & her husband claimed to be the reason of their lack of support.

The support system Arata lacks isn’t only in his family. Since the death of his grandfather he seems to stand alone in Karuta too. Murao was the only one who spared some time for him but only after he realized how “alone” he was and took pity on him. Murao's realization implies that the training Arata was doing at the Nagumo society didn’t really count for what he really needed. Kuriyama sensei (being expected by fans to be the “Harada” in Arata’s side) was almost useless & he himself expressed his confusion about what to do with him & how to help him. We never saw him particularly guide him in any way either. "Experiences" & "taking chances" were two factors that helped Mizusawa members for example to grow a lot, but these chances are doors without knobs & we know that they were opened for them by adults who were taking care of them in a way or another + being friends ensured that they encouraged each other then proceeded with every idea they got to learn & experience more. Arata lacks both these sources (adults around him rather burdened him with their expectations) so he kept training on his own mostly & we saw how it felt frustrating to him to be relying only on his solo training & an "image" encouraged by a long-dead teacher, he realized the toll of lacking real opponents in practice with whom he can measure his abilities & correct his mistakes to grow stronger. Support can also be emotional. Did Arata ever receive particular emotional support? I can only remember panels where the people worried for him kept watching him from afar while he dealt with it on his own.

Yu was an exception but even her support was written in a way suggesting that Arata was prepared to go on without it. Because with time, Arata learnt to "not expect much" which is also a very interesting trope for a sad story.

And he was described as “a lonely player on top” but this was never elaborated to show how it felt like to be one for Arata himself. This idea is also brilliant for melancholy if the author wanted fans to sympathize with Arata but she didn't go beyond praising Chihaya who could somehow reach him & Shinobu chan.

And while playing on his own (or working part time to support himself), taking care of himself, he met his two precious friends again (they were the only selfish desire Arata has openly expressed throughout the series). But what he felt is that he was left behind & that he was the only one so far away. And he was. They got to experience so many things he didn’t, they made new friends & new bonds & he didn’t, they got closer to each other & he didn’t… At the end he went back to be the outsider & them the two old childhood friends. If the author wrote just a little bit more about these, if she highlighted these facts they could have made a good drama.

Love is the main reason Taichi is "felt for" (because he progressed in karuta but not in Love ..not yet at least). Arata is also a part of the love triangle in Chihayafuru, and if we try to summarize it with the intention of making it sad, then let's go, there is enough to say for that, we just need a good writer (which I'm not sadly). Still in short: Arata seems to have started to develop feelings for Chihaya a long time ago but he had to keep that in check because he thought she was dating Taichi & he kept his distance out of respect for that assumed relationship even though he craved at least connecting with his old friends. When he came closer, Chihaya was interested in him but he never knew, the enthusiasm she showed him was not different from how she is with everyone, no, Taichi received special treatment, while for him, every time he tries to say something to her he is cut off somehow. Everything seemed to be against them getting close. Later Chihaya seemed to have ultimate fun with Taichi too, maybe that was the only thing he thought he could give her, now she didn't need it. Maybe he had that thought again when she praised his game against Harada sensei that's why he confessed but soon, She is once again so far away, she seemed to need Taichi to function properly, he understood that & he used that to cheer her up in her most important tournament. He wanted badly to play with her again to only be totally iced, he couldn't even be seen by her, he was so far away, she belonged to where he wasn't part of (& even her friend kana found a way to express her disapproval of him) Can we not make a drama out of this? Or out of his stuttering, awkwardness & introversion? Or maybe the fact that his parents don't understand him? And did anyone alse feel that in most of Taichi's mother's appearances, we got this feeling that Taichi is a son who should be cared for while when Arata's parents appeared, many times, we can feel how Arata was used to highlight their feelings as individuals & he was drawn there as the member of the family who had to pay attention to that? Anyway, every single one of these points alone is very good material for a "tearjerker" so what about all of them combined? because they are all facts from Arata's reality.

Again, all we need is a good writer (we have it) & the intention to make it that way which isn't there. Suetsugu decided instead to put double the effort to make Taichi the "sorrowful/anguished" one because Arata is not a character written to feel sorry for or to commiserate. He is rather written for the most part of the manga as an inspiring one, an aspiration, to be a drive & a goal. So despite having all the above circumstances, he is instead written as a character who keeps to himself, doesn't complain, hides his hardships, makes it seem that he fine when he notices that someone is watching, tries to focus on what he has & be happy with it however little or simple. That's why it's easy for him to forget & forgive, easy for him to recover & stand up again because there are other characters who need him there as an example, who think that he is perfectly fine so they should only focus on themselves and thus, Bildungsroman can be used for them. And finally- wait, what were Taichi's problems again?

----------------------------------------------------

Writer adds:

[kyousei-archive]

unmasked

    A headcanon as to what Kakuzu’s life was before recruitment into the Akatsuki. Please keep in mind this background will heavily influence my interpretation of Kakuzu’s character and make personal relationships with him more than just difficult!

    Tanned skin, dark eyes. Brunette. She was tiny, at least in comparison to him. Unassuming and normal all things considered.

    – But, god, she was beautiful.

    Perhaps it was her smile that had captured him at first, or that even, tranquil personality that had tamed the most fearsome temperament in all of Takigakure. He’d been young then, a mere Chuunin destined for great things – headed for the Council to bring their country to peace. However, seeing how easily that man could fly into a fit of rage… any sort of idea like that would be a long time coming.

    His former squad had all been killed and friends had been hard to come by. Takigakure was poor, horribly so. Even their most capable warriors, their Elders and Council members – they could only grasp for anything to keep them afloat, often resorting to testing their own morals in order to survive. Family killing family, friends turning against friends. It wasn’t capable of fazing him any longer. His own mother and father had been swiped clean off the face of the earth, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t deal with.

    Perhaps that had been why he had always seen himself more as a Doton user, instead of the affinity for water that he was in possession of. Stone was hard, immovable. It was like him. Cold one moment and burning like magma the next. Kakuzu wasn’t water. He wasn’t tranquil or beautiful. In fact, he was rather scarred and gruff looking.

    It had always been like that. He’d been given a strong jaw from his father, broad shoulders and a built chest. Though it had always been his eyes that had scared people off the quickest. It hadn’t been his quick temper or his appearance, no… His eyes were unique in Taki, mint and maroon and harsh. It wasn’t rare for a single glance to send others running.

    Not her. Certainly not her.

    The library, as strange as it sounded, had always been a place of peace for the Chuunin. He could read and learn about the history of his village, about the beastly Choumei that had once plagued this land. It was relaxing, a welcomed silence from the blood and gore he had been forced to endure day after day protecting his village.

    Though there had been one time his peace had undoubtedly turned on its head… A quiet day, just like any other, that those strange eyes had taken advantage of by drinking in information from dusty scrolls and thick manuscripts.

    “They’re pretty.”

    He’d jolted, not expecting a voice from someone he hadn’t sensed approached. Eyes had blinked once, twice, three times upon sitting fully upright, and his upper body turned toward the visitor that had interrupted his silence. Kiyomi. He would have never guessed exactly what the future would hold for them back then. At the time, he’d simply thought of it as an annoyance.

    Kakuzu was silent, tanned lips pulling into a small frown as brows knit beneath his headband. What had she been talking about..?

    “Your eyes, I mean. I’ve never seen anything like them.”

    Maybe it was then that she’d completely captured his attention, especially after that miniscule smile that had accompanied her words. Kiyomi was a civilian nowhere near any sort of match for the shinobi, but still brave enough to approach him in his time of solace. – Or maybe she didn’t know. He hadn’t been certain at the time which he would have liked better. Nor would he really ever be certain.

    Everything had seemed like such a blur from there. They’d gotten closer, able to call each other friends, and closer still. His temper that had once been known throughout all of Takigakure had all but vanished. Kakuzu had been well-mannered, irritable, but still capable of reeling in the beast that had once constituted his personality. If only for her.

    He could have broken her without a second thought, as he had done to many in the past who had gone against him. And yet... he didn’t. She had made him happy – an emotion that few hidden among the waterfalls could say they had truly experienced.

    Kakuzu had been able to make due supporting two. Extra missions here and there to make up for what she couldn’t had been enough then. He’d been thankful for the minor increase in salary with his promotion to Jounin. There had been one moment, though, that had sent his world to a screeching halt.

    “I’m pregnant.”

    He’d almost spat out his drink with the sudden information, eyes immediately falling to her stomach. Kiyomi’s belly had looked fine; there was no swell beneath her clothing, nothing at all that could have said that she was carrying a life inside of her. “—Shit.”

    She had laughed at his reaction, had told him not to worry. He listened, saving every last scrap of worth that he had come into contact with for the next nine months. A family of three was a number that he could handle, which he did for quite some time. She had given him a little girl, a bundled gift that was the striking image of her mother. Thankfully. They named her Kishiko.

    Four, however, was a number that weighed heavily on his shoulders. Again they were graced with one more addition to the family, a stocky boy named Hayase that seemed a combination of his parents. He had his mother’s eyes.

    Mission after mission after mission had run the Jounin dry. Every spark of energy had been given to keep his small corner of the world afloat, but still he could call himself happy. They were content with what they had and grateful for every moment that Kakuzu was able to spend at home. Stress had given the shinobi a harsher stare and a perpetual frown. But still, she loved him.

    There had been a single request from Takigakure’s finest warrior to the Village Council: to keep the stress of his work away from his family. They had listened for the most part, that is… Until the group of four had visited the small home on the outskirts of the village.

                                                   We have an assignment for you.

    The knock on the door had been unexpected, even somewhat strange. Visitors to the household were all but nonexistent; no one dared to traverse this far out of the village simply to meet the one person who wouldn’t give them a welcome. His temper had changed, yes, but the way he acted in the face of annoyances was a different story. Kakuzu remained hostile to all that did not reside in his home, presenting a silent anger to all those he stood against. There had always seemed an air about him that churned and roared silently to itself, storming against the impending battles that were sure to come.

    Until those eyes she had commented on all those years ago fell back to her. That typhoon fell into a quiet breeze that simply rippled against his thoughts. – Like water. It had been her and those brats that had turned the stone to liquid, like alchemists trying to turn granite to gold, only to fail and end up with mud.

    Door having been thrown open, the last people that the Jounin had any expectation of visiting had interrupted him, had come to his home with the explicit request to stay away. How arrogant those fools were, hiding behind their masks as if their military status gave them any real power. He could have ripped them all in half before they could blink.

                                                  “We have an assignment for you.”

    An assignment, Kakuzu soon realized, that would change the entirety of Takigakure forever if it was successful. It would have put his name in the history books that he adored and lost himself in. The killer of the first Hokage: Senju Hashirama.

    The world was at war with one another and the surrounding waterfalls appeared to be in the center of it. Borders had been held firm against the Great Nations attempting to take Takigakure for its own, a massive feat for such a small and poor country. It was only logical to remove the biggest obstacle in the way of the Council’s goals. If Konoha fell due to the actions of their strongest Jounin, reason stated that the Shinobi War would crumble and the Five Great Elemental Nations along with it.

   No one would see the spec of a country rising to power in their calculations. The balance would be shifted.

    It could end.

    Promises had been made to the Jounin as his assignment had been laid out for him. His family would be kept safe and out of harm’s way and the funds that he so desperately needed to keep them stable would be given without further question. They already knew what he wanted out of this and had dangled it in front of him like a carrot to a starving horse. It would benefit not only himself, but the livelihood of those he held so dear in ways that he would not be able to do for them otherwise. There had been only a small moment’s thought before Kakuzu accepted.

    Kiyomi begged him not to.

    It would only be later that the understanding of what he had to overcome in order to complete his mission would dawn on Kakuzu’s shoulders. This was a gamble he was nowhere near powerful enough to partake in, a gamble he’d been unknowingly led into with honey-laced words and ideals of grandeur.

    – And so he left.

    Senju Hashirama was a powerful leader of his country, stronger than even that of the famed Uchiha Madara. To be the master of two opposing forces, of both the ground and the sea… It took control and precision that would have been incomprehensible to someone that had only heard of the great Hokage. It was Kakuzu himself that had been forced to endure it.

    Defeat had only been expected, but the remainder of his life… That was something that had not been put into his calculations. Takigakure was strict and ruthless; every shinobi of the village knew that without a doubt. He had expected humiliation and being stripped of his title. Exile and public execution were not out of the question either.

    It had been the imprisonment of his family, of his wife and children that had taken him off guard. News of his failure had rippled through the village like water drops from the countless falls that dotted through the village before he had even returned. He had discovered his home burned to the ground, belongings lost to the flame as injuries that covered his body turned tanned skin a dirty crimson.

         They were safe.

                   They had to be.

    The beginning stages of panic and anger began to set in, energy drained limbs having blood stained fingers curled into tight fists. He had begun to tremble with a rage that hadn’t been allowed to let loose in years, lips pulling into a tight line and brows furrowing. Chakra was already dangerously low, yet as the silent orders from the Council were brought into effect Kakuzu was still capable of fighting off many of those Jounin he had once considered allies.

    Bones cracked and blood stained the grass on his feet, yells of fury overtaking the clearing as his vision turned red.

         They were safe.

                   They were safe.

                           They were safe.

    The constant reminder, no matter how small of a shred of hope it had been, wasn’t enough to pull him into a state of control. He fought and fought until eyes began to blur, movements becoming sluggish as exhaustion began to catch up with his body and mind.

    Having been overpowered at last, he had no choice but to be forced into a state of submission; head bowed to the ground and arms twisted behind him. Kakuzu found his chest heaving for air, heart pounding against his rib cage at even the mere prospect of the three most important people in his life being harmed because of his failure.

    The Takigakure prison was where those traitors were kept, cuffed and kept in cells like animals to await their fate. He was no different, guards standing on either side of the expanse of bars that kept him contained in the small area he was allowed. How pathetic…

    – But he needed to remain in control. For them.

    It smelled of sins and traitors in there, an indescribable smell that burned at his senses and tore at the guilt buried deep in his gut. He had been too weak to follow through with his orders and the consequences had been accepted. Marks of traitors were tattooed into his forearms, four bands that he had found himself counting until his time was up.

    Only the promise of their safety, the thought of them smiling had kept the beast of Takigakure at bay – for now. His eyes had sunken in after days of neglect, head bowed forward with locks of dirty brown obscuring his features. Hands had been secured behind his back but no attempt to escape from them had been made. He had merely sat, quietly, for hours upon hours. Reactions had tried to be pulled from him time and time again by the guards poking and prodding him with humiliating words, yet only a deep growl had been heard from the monster.

    Three days had passed before he had moved, head lifting slowly with the instinct that something was wrong. Something was incredibly wrong. The guards had been talking among themselves as if their prisoner couldn’t hear, complaining about a public execution that they would miss. A woman. Two children; a boy and a girl.

    He had felt his heart drop into his gut, denial washing through his nervous system in a flood. – But he knew. Those in association with traitors would be treated as traitors. Kakuzu’s wife and children would be murdered in cold blood in front of their village – the village that he had been loyal to and followed without question. Until now. No longer would he allow himself to be seen as a shinobi from this village.

    The Council would no longer dangle promises of safety and prosperity in front of him. Their hearts would be in his hands.

    It had started as a quiet fury, the waves of chakra pouring from his body like water from the falls having stunned the guards into silence. It grew swiftly, the red returning to his vision that he hadn’t truly seen in many years. The village had forgotten how fearsome their most powerful warrior could be when enraged beyond control; they would soon be reminded why they had feared him in the beginning.

    Had that sound been him? It couldn’t have been. The noise that reached his ears must have been made by that of a monster, a terrifying roar that shuddered through him, trembling against the walls of his jail cell and into the very cores of those who were assigned to guard him. The memories of what had happened next would never truly be remembered in full detail; the fury that bubbled through his veins had blocked his senses in full.

    There had been faint flashes of crimson, the scent of blood mingling through the air as each and every occupant of that prison had been ripped to pieces -- guards and their charges alike. He remembered the sounds of bones cracking, of stone crumbling under the force of his hands and the screams of those who begged for their lives. What right did they have to survive? This village had taken everything from him; they had taken his past, his present and his future in a single moment of trying to prove their superiority over the rest.

    His hands had been stained red before the prison fell silent of the carnage, trembling breaths from his remaining anger the only sound heard.

    But he could not stop. He ran until his muscles burned, every muscle aching in his body until Kakuzu’s only energy was a will to continue. Yet as the executioner’s clearing came into view all his eyes could focus on were shapes his mind refused to correlate to his family.

    Bodies, three of them. Blood, pooled and saturated into the ground.

    Kakuzu’s knees buckled underneath him.

    Not a sound broke through the clearing. Silence buzzed in his ears until the noise felt like it began reverberating into his limbs, and finally into his chest.

    The sun had long since fallen before he could rise.

    The village had taken everything from him, so he would take everything from them. Only the most highly regarded shinobi of this country knew of their most prized technique; it was forbidden and dangerous. Kakuzu had read about it once, of the fearsome power of stealing the hearts of enemies to take their chakra and prolong a lifespan.

     What a fitting end it would be for those fools. Those fools that had thought a warrior with everything to lose would be weak once it was lost.

     No, they would discover that a warrior who had lost everything would sooner cut his own throat than lay down and accept that fate.

     He didn’t care about the blood that had caked his clothes or his skin; his only goal was finding that scroll. The secret archives were no more secret than they were well-guarded. It seemed only the fear of discovery was what had kept thieves at bay, but his goal was clear. Whomever had found enough bravery within them to step before this monstrous beast was disposed of without a thought.

    What he had not expected, however, was the pain. There was no wonder in Kakuzu’s mind why this was classified as a forbidden technique. The agony that had ripped through every muscle fiber was not of a normal scale. Only those with enough will in their bones and strength in their mind would be able to endure it.

    Skin had been forced away from underlying flesh, torn and sewn back together by black tendrils that seemed to have a mind of their own. Muscle was gouged and replaced with the living threads to act as tendons and nerves. They had fully incorporated themselves into his body, leaving him weak and suffering both mentally and physically.

    What would she have thought..? Bloody wounds now crossed back and forth against the skin she had loved to trail her fingers over. Kakuzu had become marred and ugly, a monster in every shape and aspect. It was Takigakure’s fault for bringing him to this point, for making him finally snap against their overwhelming rule. Each of them would suffer for their crimes against him, of their tyranny and iron fists.

    He imagined their screams for mercy were the same as hers before her execution, the same as his children’s cries for help as their mother was slaughtered in front of them. These four would receive the same treatment. Four lives had been ruined by these four masked figures, one mask for each of them.

    Still beating hearts had been ripped from their chests, newly acquired tendrils strangling each of the Council members ruthlessly until death itself happily took them into its arms.

    Their hearts would be in his hands.

    He felt no remorse for the poor souls that discovered the carnage the next morning, the sight of their leaders ripped limb from limb until they were hardly recognizable. Their masks had been taken and stitched to the very back of the man that had killed them.

    They would be forced to watch the trail behind the monster they had created.

[tickly-trashcan]

Operation: Cheer up Deku

hello hello! i honestly took this one and ran with it, i’m really soft for platonic cheer up tickles! i hope you enjoy it, this one was probably one of my favorite ones to write yet~

Summary: Midoriya snaps at Ochako, running to his room after. Ochako sits down with Iida and Todoroki to decide a way to get Midoriya back to his cheerful self. 

Word Count: 1.7k (under the cut)

Midoriya paced around the dormitory commons, stress nagging in the back of his head as anxiety built up in his stomach.

His most recent training session with All Might hadn’t gone very well, and he was beginning to question his ability to be the next successor of One for All. He wasn’t as strong as All Might, he knew that, but he also wasn’t living up to All Might’s image, and that’s what truly bothered him. He was so caught up in his own self-deprecating thoughts that he didn’t even hear one of his classmates creep up behind him.

“Deku? Are you alright?” Ochako asked, extending a hand to his shoulder, placing it gently while keeping her pinky raised.

“I’m fine!” Midoriya snapped, quickly regretting his tone as Ochako looked at him in dismay, her eyes glossing over.

“Uraraka, I-” Midoriya stopped, guilt washing over him as he gripped his fist, angrily running away from Ochako and back to his dorm room. 

Ochako frowned, taking in a shaky breath. She wasn’t used to Midoriya being like this, he was so closed off and worried looking. She didn’t know what to do, it was obvious that he was having a hard time and didn’t want to talk to anyone just yet, but she couldn’t just sit there and do nothing… 

“Are you alright, Uraraka? I’ve never seen Midoriya act like that before,” Iida asked when Ochako returned to the couch where she and Iida had been sitting together playing a board game with Todoroki. Ochako sighed.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but I want to help cheer him up somehow! It’s not nice to have a gloomy Deku, y’know?” She said, slinking back into the couch and crossing her arms, puffing her cheeks.

“Well, why don’t we come up with some way to cheer him up then?” Todoroki asked simply, placing down a few cards and moving one of the game pieces, not looking up from the board.

Ochako looked over at Todoroki with an inquisitive glance. “What do you think we could do?”

Todoroki tapped his chin in thought. Iida pushed up his glasses. Ochako placed her hand on her chin. They all thought for several minutes, trying to come up with the best way to cheer up their normally bright and happy friend.

“We could buy him a present? I bring presents to my brother when he’s feeling down, that always cheers him up,” Iida suggested, miming out a square box with his hands as he looked at Ochako, who shook her head.

“What would we get him? He already has every single All Might figure imaginable, and I’m sure that a present wouldn’t make him feel better… What if we bake him a cake? We can ask Sato to help out!” Ochako suggested, dramatically raising a hand into the air as she said so. 

Iida shook his head. “If he’s sad he probably doesn’t feel like eating, especially when it’s sweet. Sweets are a comfort when you’re sad, but they don’t always make you feel better.” 

Ochako sighed, slinking back again into the couch. “I’m out of ideas then, I always resort to food… What about you, Todoroki? Any ideas on Operation: Cheer up Deku?”

Iida huffed out a soft laugh. “That’s what we’re calling it now?”

Ochako nodded. “Every important operation needs a name, and cheering up Deku is a really important task!”

Todoroki looked up at the ceiling briefly, still thinking to himself before turning a bit to face Ochako and Iida.

“How about we tickle him?”

“Huh?”

Todoroki shrugged. “Midoriya did it to me once when I was feeling down, and I’ll admit that it worked. Maybe it’ll work on him too?”

Ochako rubbed her chin with her hand. “I suppose… it’s not as direct as a gift, and it won’t take as much time as a cake. Plus, they say that laughter is the best medicine. Yeah, why don’t we try that?”

Iida sighed. “I feel it would be a bit inappropriate to do that, but if it means cheering him up, I’m willing to help,” he said with a soft smile, Ochako grinning widely from ear to ear as she jumped up.

“Alright! Operation: Cheer up Deku is a go!”

Ochako led Todoroki and Iida as they walked over towards Midoriya’s dorm, Ochako knocking on the door.

“Deku?”

“Go away, Uraraka,” A meek voice called from within, Ochako turning to face the two boys who stood behind her as she frowned.

“He must be really down,” she whispered, looking up at Iida, who readjusted his glasses.

“Let’s hope we can actually cheer him up this way,”

“I’m sure we can do it, as long as we can make Deku happy again, I’m happy,” Ochako said, a faint blush creeping up her cheeks.

Todoroki nodded. “Let’s go.”

Ochako cracked open the door, peeking into a dark room, seeing Midoriya laying face down into one of his pillows, not hearing them creep in. 

As soon as Todoroki and Iida were in the room Ochako flicked on the light, shocking Midoriya as he sat up from the sudden light flooding his room, looking around to see his best friends standing right beside his bed.

“Wh-Why are you all in here? I just wanna be alone…” Midoriya muttered, clutching the pillow that sat next to him. 

“I’m afraid we can’t do that, Midoriya,” Iida said, smiling warmly down at him. “We can’t let our friend stay gloomy like this and not do anything.”

Todoroki and Ochako nodded. Midoriya looked away from them.

“I’m not gloomy, I just have a lot on my mind,”

“Which is why we’re here to help!” Ochako said cheerfully, holding up her hands, wiggling her fingers at Midoriya, who looked at her with a confused expression on his face.

“Iida, would you kindly get his arms?”

“Wha-?!”

Before Midoriya could react, Iida stood right by his head, grabbing his wrists and holding them against the headboard, Ochako jumping on the bed and sitting on his legs as Todoroki straddled his hips, all of them pinning Midoriya down completely.

“What are you guys doing? Let me go!” Midoriya cried out, wiggling as much as he could with all three of his friends currently having him pinned to the bed.

“We’ll let you go as soon as you’re cheered up, ‘kay?” Ochako quipped, settling her hands on Midoriya’s knees, Todoroki lowering his hands towards Midoriya’s tummy as he finally realized exactly what was happening.

“No! Not that! Anything but thahahahahahat, nooo!” Midoriya giggled when Ochako finally squeezed his knees, Todoroki’s hands descending on his tummy, wiggling with vigor against Midoriya’s thin T-Shirt.

Midoriya arched his back, squealing with laughter as tingly sensations shot up his body, wiggling around uselessly in a way to stop the tickling. He squeezed his eyes shut as he laughed loudly, tugging at his arms that Iida held firm above his head with both hands.

“Tickle, tickle, Deku!” Ochako teased, reaching her hands under Midoriya’s knees and scratching her fingers against the sensitive skin, making him squeak and giggle.

Todoroki stared at him completely blank-faced, focused on his hands as he tickled him oddly symmetrically on his tummy, expanding to his sides before going right back to his tum.

“Wahahahahait! Pffthaahahahahahahaha no more!” Midoriya begged, shaking his head from side to side as he cackled, Todoroki now drumming his fingers along Midoriya’s ribs. Midoriya twisted away from Todoroki’s fingers as much as he could, but with his limited mobility and Todoroki easily following him with every movement, it proved rather difficult.

“Are you feeling better yet, Midoriya?” Iida asked from beside him, the sincerity in his voice as Midoriya was being tickled to death was so funny to him it only made him laugh more as he shook his head.

“NAHahaahahaha! Pl-Plehehehehease, no mohohore!” Midoriya spluttered, gasping between his laughter as Ochako began to wiggle her fingers against Midoriya’s socked sole, who quickly gasped, laughing louder than before, trying to kick his legs around as much as he could.

“Iida, wanna join in?” Ochako yelled over Midoriya’s screaming laughter. Iida pondered for a moment, passing both of Midoriya’s wrists into one hand as he used the other to scribble around his underarm, Midoriya arching his back as he screeched, hurting Iida’s ears slightly as he continued to work his dextrous fingers in one of Midoriya’s worst spots.

Ochako continued to tickle Midoriya’s poor feet, Todoroki kneading Midoriya’s sensitive hips as Iida awkwardly prodded around Midoriya’s underarm, it was so overwhelming.

“PLEHEHEHEASE! Ahhh! Ahhahaahahaha, nohohohohoho!” Midoriya squealed.

He felt his cheeks burn, both from smiling widely as laughter poured from his mouth and because he was slightly embarrassed. It wasn’t every day you were tickled to pieces by people you care about, and Midoriya was sure they wouldn’t let up anytime soon.

He felt tears prick the corner of his eyes, which quickly spilled out as tears of laughter draped his cheeks, Midoriya still shaking his head from side to side.

“WahahahahahAHAHA!!” He screamed, at a point where he was no longer able to formulate words, cackling like a madman as his throat became hoarse.

Todoroki soon picked up on this, slowing his tickling to merely rubbing tiny circles on Midoriya’s tummy with his thumbs. Midoriya’s laughter died down, dissolving into silent laughter as he weakly struggled against the tickles, small hiccups of a giggle occasionally slipping through. 

Ochako halted her tickling as well, right after Iida let go of Midoriya to tap on Ochako’s shoulder, letting him know that Midoriya had had more than enough. 

Midoriya wheezed, desperately gasping for breath as he rubbed his forearm against his face, wiping away his tears and a small trickle of drool that had escaped his lips. 

“Wh-Whahahat was that for?” He gasped out, some stray giggles still lingering as he panted heavily. 

“We wanted to cheer you up!” Ochako said gleefully, hopping off of Midoriya’s legs and sitting on the side of the bed, Todoroki following.

“You did this to me one time, I figured it would work on you too,” He shrugged.

Midoriya smiled brightly up at his friends.

“Thank you guys, really. I was feeling so down, I didn’t know what to do, but you guys really helped,” He said softly.

He was met with a quick hug from Ochako, who squeezed out all of his recovered oxygen as he wheezed but still reciprocated the hug from Ochako. Todoroki and Iida soon joined the hug as well, Midoriya chuckling to himself in the middle.

“I love you guys,”

[fipindustries]

Mouth Dreams analysis

MOUTH DREAMS

I dont even need to introduce to you the marvelous mash up works of neil cicierega’s mouth trilogy (now quadrilogy i guess). We all know them, we all love them and we all have our own interpretations of what they mean. For some merely musical shitposting, for others clever experimentation laden with phrases, leivmotifs and themes repeating here and there, and for many a deep and rich bounty of lore, hidden messages, subtextual stories and underlying narratives implied across multiple variations of all star, hidden in the meta data and uncovered only after doing spectrographic analysis on the soundwaves of the songs after being played at x0.000003 times the speed. It is usually understood that all the albums together form a unique and rich tapestry, a coherent whole that can be understood in its totality. Im not here to do that.

I came up with my own interpretation of what Mouth Dreams can be read as, independent from the other albums. Think of it as me presenting this entry as the soundtrack of a musical with its own self contained story. It is the interpretation that i chose to go by and i hope its understood the brilliance of these albums lies on how weird and vague and open ended they are such that any number of different readings can be extracted from them. So lets see the one i extracted, without further ado, lets begin.

Yahoo

It is an out of context, in media res, start for the whole story. We hear a voice, echoing in the void, yelling at the top of its lungs, reaching desperately for human conection. One form of looking at this song is that the voice only receives an empty response from its own echoes, but i dont take it like that. The song is too sublime and too beautiful for these, the notes soaring too high, the desperate plead is being answered. Someone is listening to the plead and answering right back, harmonizing.

This whole album is in a way that howl, reaching to others, and we the audience are answering back, listening. But also on another level, this whole album is the protagonist telling the tragic story of his own life to some sympathetic figure who wants to help, perhaps a therapist, perhaps a friend, perhaps a partner, we’ll see. And as the yelling subsides the story starts proper.

Mouth dreams (intro)

We are being slowly taken into the story, entering the psyche of the main character, entering their subconscious, their dreams, their memories and therefore, their past. We’ll see what life they led and how they ended up where they are now and we start right at his infancy with….

Spongerock

Spongebob is a great indicator that we are seeing this person’s early childhood. They seem to be a rambunctious and energetic child. Cheerful and enthusiastic, yet there seems to be some underlying aggression there. The music is a bit to strong, and in comes freddy mercury berating the poor kid “you’ve got mud on your face, you big disgrace”. Who is this entity being so hostile to a poor kid? What lies beneath that image of a happy kid? We are about to see on the next song.

Just a baby

This is where trouble starts. We are treated to a dramatic song about a poor young baby who seems to be having a pretty sad life. Justin bieber, former teen idol, keeps lamenting about the poor baby being stuck in baby jail. This song is very much about loss of innocence. A shadowy figure of the mother is introduced who tells the protagonist to be a good boy. And almost at the end of the song we get a suggestion of what’s so wrong on this poor kid’s life. His mother apparently “shot a man in reno”. We dont know if this is a literal thing the mother did or if this is a metaphor for the mother doing something horrible, commiting some crime, harming someone in some way. While its not clarified we see strong hints of what the mother could have done in the next song

Superkiller

As we worry what may be so wrong with this kid’s mother we come across the title for this song, ominous. Now in the original Psycho killer the killer was clearly the singer, but in here the song is twisted and turned a bit, recontextualized by the beats of “cant touch this”. It seems like this time is the singer the one who doesnt want to be touched by some nefarious figure (the mother? Is the mother a psycho killer?) maybe the kid saw the mother killing people “i dont like people when they’re on fire”. whatever the case might be the kid is clearly strung up and under a lot of stress and we are introduced to the first hint of the insomnia that will plague this persons life who cant sleep because “my bed’s on fire”. The horrible situation in which this kid is living is taking a severe toll on their mental health. How is he going to cope with this?

Get happy

I think everyone can agree that “come on get happy” is incredibly unnerving when mindlessly repeated over and over. A first read might suggest the kid is forced to put on a happy face, to pretend that there is nothing wrong going on with their life. But as the song progresses it could also be interpreted as the kid being tempted to find refuge from the horror by unsavory methods “get happy” as in acquire happiness of a forced and artificial kind, perhaps drugs. But also “we’ll make you happy”. The kid is not running into a rabbit hole on their own, they are being invited. Its possible that the kid is being seduced by a bad crowd to move into seedy circles as an escape from their life.

Ribs

In here we see the kid, probably a young teenager by this point as suggested by the use of marylin manson in this song, falling deep into debauchery. The specific kind is not needed to know, it could be drugs, it could be sexual experimentation, it could be criminality. Point is this is unhealthy and dangerous and depraved, emphasized by the title of the song “ribs” as a reference to the rumor that marilyn manson removed two of his ribs in order to perform autofellatio. Whatever the case it clearly works, the song is actually a great bop, energetic and upbeat, the kid is content with the situation, at least for a while…

My mouth

This song is the coming down from the high. In here we see at full blast how the life of depravity on the one side and their situation at home on the other have turned the character into a hardcore insomniac, their health is severy compromised “My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed

Dried up and bulging out my skull”. Another way to read this song is as we momentarily cutting back to the present. After all, what we have been seeing until now has been dreams/memories and this is a short look at the wreck that the person is as a grown up, stirring awake from their memories and trying desperately to forget or to go back to sleep where they can have a reprieve. As evidenced by the next song

Aerolong

I dont wanna miss a thing is completely turned on its head. As the lyrics clearly demonstrate is the protagonist who cant go to sleep being chased by their memories, specifically the memories of their mother “I don't miss you, babe, and I do want to miss a thing”. As the person is tossing and turning on their bed, unable to sleep they talk about how they dont miss their mother at all and they want to “miss” her as in they want to forget her.

Sleepin’

The character is constantly speaking about how they are “sleeping with their clothes on” this is due to them falling asleep during their everyday life because of their lack of sleep every night, this person is barely functional, their sleep schedule is broken. Also since this song is about the character actually sleeping it also works as a bridge back into their dreams and so into their past.

Aammoorree

Is another vignette about the character sinking into disreputable states in order to escape their shitty situation as a teenager, this time very specifically about being completely drunk and perhaps experiencing romance for the first time. The character is probably at a club or a party, drunkenly hitting on someone, though chances are without much success as the song becomes increasingly more incoherent and we go into a full black out. This gets bad enough that the person finally has to take a look and….

Where is my mom

….stop. It is highly suggestive that in the album the “stop” is part of this song rather than the last one. The person is not only stopping their current alcoholic binge. They are stopping the entire situation and taking a good look at their life, finally confronting face to face what is happening and why it is so wrong. Now “stacy’s mom” was always kind of an inappropriate song due to it being about a child having a crush on their friend’s mom, as sung by an adult. But as it is recontextualized by the instruments of “where is my mind” it takes on a much darker tone. The romantic words are still there but now with a sinister bent. This time the main character asks their friend if they can go and take refuge at their house and when they ask if the mom is going to be there they sound more scared than eager, specially suggested by the way he seems to be stammering the word “pool”, they are nervous and terrified. They also talk about stacy’s mom as “all they want and been waiting for so long”, probably because all they want is a normal, loving mother. Presumably this song is about the main character finally talking about what is going on at his house with a friend, confessing and that confession gives way to realization

Fredhammer

Then realization gives way to anger. During this whole song we see the teenage character finally grasping how fucked up the whole situation is and he gets progressively more worked up with each successive aggravation “Why did it take so long? Why (hoo!), did I wait so long, huh?

Why??? To figure it out, but I did it (huh?)”. From this we transition to the kid actually confronting their mom face to face. The line “So you can take that cookie And stick it up your (yeah!)” can be read as the mother trying to pretend there is nothing wrong or pacifying the kid with empty gestures of motherhood, by making cookies and the kid spitting that back into their face. The kid gets more and more worked up through the song as we seamlessly transition to the next one.

Limp Wicket

This song is pure incoherent chaos but something very important can be rescued out of the chaos. This song uses the lyrics from the “ewok celebration” which is presumably the song the ewoks sing in return of the jedi after the empire was defeated. So in a way is the kid celebrating that he finally confronted their mother and presumably defeated her. This is emphazised by the recurrence of the lyrics ““So you can take that cookie”. Is not specified how the mother is defeated, maybe social services or the police get involved, maybe the kid runs away, either way this song is triumphant. The evil entity that stole his childhood and innocence has been defeated.

Cannibals

This song is slightly different from the rest. It works as a form of victory lap after the defeat of the mother figure, but also as an intermission since it lies smack dab in the middle of the album, and finally as a transitionary song from childhood to adulthood. Is a time skip, we get to see the person grow up in fast forward as the THX song hits its crescendo. This song also makes it perfectly clear that, even though she was left behind, the mental scars that the mother left are still there and still fresh and still very much stopping them from sleeping “She drives me crazy

And I can't help myself”. 

The outsiders

This works as a way to recontextualize us in the life of the character as an adult. Our so called “feature presentation”. It is not altogether clear who these people being introduced are. They could be the people who came to mean something in this persons life as they grew up after trauma, probably multiple foster homes, social workers, friends, bosses, co workers, etc. the fact that they are being enumerated dissapasionatly could indicate how most of his social relationships were basically a meaningless blur for him who grew up socially distant due to trauma. It could also represent the multiple roles that our character was forced to take as they grew up and the multiple things that went through his mind or meant something. There is clearly some desperate attempts to recapture their lost childhood as figures such as “inspector gadget” or “the ninja turtles part three” are named. The song is a fast montage of views and places. That prepares us for the next song.

Johnny

We finally zoom in and take a good look at our main character as an adult. A sad, pathetic figure, hurt and lonely, possibly not very well liked and certainly not respected as we hear boos all around. Despite all this the character is clearly committing themselves to be a good person, to not hurt others like he was hurt and specifically to not commit the same crimes that their mother commited.

Closerflies & Nightmovin

These two songs might as well work as a single piece since they are both more or less about the same thing. We reiterate how this person has been turned into an insomniac due to the trauma that they experienced as a child “When I'm far too tired to fall asleep”. They are delirious and barely coherent, possibly hallucinating as they think about their life in bed. This is clearly hell on earth and it seems like its just never going to stop “Can't wake up in a sweat

'Cause it ain't over yet” but, with neil’s classic sense of humor, the song immediately ends.

Now that could just be for the sake of irony but there is also another level in which it could be read. This suffering stops because something suddenly changes in this person’s life. What could that be?

Whitehouse

“I fell in love with a girl”

As the lyrics say, the main character met someone special and they are deeply in love. But also, because of the past that weighs heavily on him, he is very trepidatious about wether to go on with the relationship or not. He knows he is damaged goods and he doesnt want to drag her down as well, these fears make it so he never fully opens up to her about his issues “She turns and says, "Are you alright?" I said, "I must be fine because my heart's still beating." 

Wah

The use of “war” by edwin starr is a clever reference about how everything is fair in love and war. Now this song is an important departure since it is sung from the point of view of the girl our main character fell in love with. She is a feisty woman who is very clearly trying to establish the terms of the relationship and demanding her partner to open up which the main character, due to his insecurities, takes as a declaration of war and which he deflects by playing dumb, hence the repeated use of the silly “WAH” by wario. 

Pee Wee Inc

The emotional distance from the man is putting a strain in the relationship, so what once was supposed to “feel good” is now this melancholic and unbearable situation. Is no mistake that the song sampled here is “the breakfast machine” from pee wee’s big adventure. After all  a neglected partner can feel like a breakfast machine, an object that is there just to make your breakfast. On top of this you can see that the insomnia hasnt gone away “My dreams, they got a kissing 'cause I don't get to sleep, no”. In a lot of ways the girlfriend is feeling used as just a relief from the man’s suffering but not as someone who is being truly loved.

1000 spoons

We go back to the woman’s perspective. At first it just seems like a simple melancholic situation where she is sad the relationship is not working, but then we see the woman have a full mental breakdown as the song changes and becomes much more deranged and we get to see what is really happening. The man ran away on their wedding day. This is represented by the lyrics “is like rain on your wedding day” because it means the wedding has been ruined. She is heartbroken by this.

Mouth dreams (extro)

Appropriately as the previous song talked about a wedding being ruined by “rain” this song begins with the sound of rain. This is the big emotional climax of the story, the music at its most dramatic. Now i will admit, even for me this is a stretch, im willing to concede most of what i am about to say is essentially built out of whole cloth and me wanting to fit a neat full narrative into this album where there is none, but hey, what is art for?

Essentially the man is about to commit suicide, possibly by jumping off a bridge in the rain as suggested by the song being sampled “drowning”. The fact that this song is named after the album is a way to signify how everything that we have just seen weighs heavily on the man’s heart, his whole life, his memories, his trauma, and he is finally ready to end it all. He jumps.

But at the last second his wife jumps after him and drags him to the shore, the last we see is her trying to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation, as indicated by the song,”love me mouth to mouth now…” he is unconscious and presumably finally sleeping peacefully (maybe dead?) “...cover me with dreams, yeah”.

It might look like he will not survive, as implied by the sinister version of all star encroaching over the song. But as it looks like all hope is lost he finally WAKES UP.

In a way this song is also when we finally catch up with the start of the album where we saw the man desperately hollering for human contact and merely echos responding, except now someone finally answered, and he is finally ready to open up and share his story.

Brithoven

Even though this song is sung by a single person i choose to take it as a dialog between the couple, both of them sharing their regrets about their relationship with each other, her recriminating the fact that she couldnt have known what he was going through “oh baby bay, how was i supposed to know, that something wasnt right here” and him finally admitting that he needs help “My loneliness is killing me”.

Finally they both agree to try it again and give their relationship a second chance “hit me baby one more time”

Ain’t

Part of me is conflicted about this song, i kind of want to disregard it, mainly because i think its kind of a weird way to end an album and also because i just dont feel is a very good mashup really. The lyrics dont mix that well with the song, they are paced in an inconsistent way and overall feel like they never truly click. On top of that it just doesnt fit at all with the narrative that i have been building during this analysis.

There is talk about alcoholism and parent abandoment, this time by the father, a figure that was never mentioned during the album. The last line says “say it aint so” which doesnt particularly seem to reflect on any of the themes i’ve been building upon. Ultimately i think i will just leave it besides and be content that i managed to fit almost all of the album into one story, this process was never meant to be a perfect dissection of the carefully planned story that neil deliberately crafted but rather me having fun seeing pictures in a rorshach test.

So anyway that was Mouth dreams, let me know what you thought.

[akimmito]

Heroes are made by the path they choose

AO3 | Next

______________________

Summary:

Seven years have passed since Hawkmoth, now a new villain rises, but this time, the heroes are ready.

They are successful adults, but above all, trained warriors.

________________________

Six years have passed since Gabriel Agreste was arrested and convicted of crimes committed like Hawkmoth, but it didn't happen the way Paris expected it to happen.

It was not the heroes who exposed him, it was he himself when Nathalie Sancoeur's murder was made public, along with the news that the Miraculous Butterfly was stolen and the truth about Emilie Agreste, who was still alive, but in a coma. Paris exploited in news, questions and conspiracy theories, but, above all, in a lot of hysteria because the nightmare was not yet over.

The months following that event were a mass of collective stress, the city was waiting for the new villain to decide to attack at any time. Meanwhile, the miracle team was preparing for everything... or what was left of it.

The last years before the Hawkmoth exhibition, Marinette devoted herself to magical learning to fulfill her role as guardian, she also dedicated her time to combat training from all possible sources, resulting in a very good relationship not only with Kagami but also with Tomoe, her mother. Trustworthy people with whom her could create a local surveillance network.

Marinette founded the MT a week after Gabriel Agreste's trial, after taking the prodigy from Adrien Agreste and choosing new and old headlines to deal with the possible new threat. This time, she was not going to allow herself to be outdone by the villain.

The MT became a group of vigilants, the prodigies remained in active rest in case at some point the butterfly miraculous arose again. Marinette was very cautious that the three identities were secret to the public, making it seem that the Miraculous Team left the MT in charge so as not to leave the city alone and that they have no relationship other than a mutual agreement by the city. The best thing is that nobody suspects their civil identities. They created a good image for themselves.

Two years after the founding of the MT, at age 19, Marinette founded her fashion company Lady Black under the name Marie Lenoir, wanting to leave Marinette Dupain-Cheng's life behind after a horrible fight with her parents, she still doesn't understand what went wrong and doesn't dare to approach them, they made it very clear that they didn't want to see her again. But with the birth of her brand and the clients she had already secured, her name soon made itself known in the fashion industry.

At 23 years old, Marinette could already be considered a celebrity and when she appeared at Lady Black's fourth anniversary gala with a little nine-year-old boy with deep green eyes, the news flew everywhere, despite the fact that the media didn't they got to know his face.

Damian Lenoir caught the world off guard.

Almost as much as the return of the miraculous of butterfly at fashion week in Paris a year later.

___________________

Just Robert @PoorButterflies

I never imagined meeting a child with an expression of disgust worse than Gabriel Agreste's, the mere thought is terrifying.

#LenoirSon #NotOtherAgreste #SaveParis

Flowers likes sun @ SolarBeauty_09

@PoorButterflies @MarieLenoir is light made person, that child is being blessed by the sun. We must give our support to the young mother!

Chloe B. @BourgeoisQueen

We would never allow Damian to become someone infamous like GA, @MarieLenoir is an excellent mother. We have had the child for a month and he already treats us with more respect. He's a very adorable little hate ball.

#LittleDemonChild

Marie L. @MarieLenoir

@BourgeoisQueen Stop giving he more attention than it should, that's why I didn't want to introduce him yet.

Alix @LostHeroBunnix

@BourgeoisQueen @MarieLenoir It was the decision of the little demon boy. Only nobody expected Paris to go crazy! It's hilarious to see it trending.

Epic Kim @Epic_originalChampion

@BourgeoisQueen @MarieLenoir @LostHeroBunnix It's best to see him grumble about unwanted attention! Poor boy, leave him alone xD

Damian @DamianLenoir

I will sue you all.

Marc @MarcAC_twt

@DamianLenoir LOL

Nath @NathanielKC_twt

@DamianLenoir Let's see

Epic Kim @Epic_originalChampion

@DamianLenoir @NathanielKC_twt To the cinema hahaha

Nath @NahanielKC_twt

Someone should do the world a favor and close @Epic_originalChampion's account

_______________________

This fic already has 6 chapters published in AO3, but I wanted to bring it here too. I hope you like it and thanks for reading. 

[malopascal]

Misery

Warning(s): crying, language, mention of alchol

A/N: This was inspired by this post

No words left Pedro’s parted lips as he softly panted, his eyes still staring down at the picture displaying on his phone. The gut-wrenching pain that he felt swell up in his chest was indescribable. He could barely feel his heart beating while tears slowly blurred his vision.

He knew very well that you were faking a smile, but the fact that you had decided to hurt him by going out with your ex and being photographed was more than enough to put the Chilean actor in a state of shock, pain, jealousy and anger.

He finally was able to blink and lock his phone, the image already burned in his brain. His phone was tossed onto the couch without a care while he slowly stood up from the couch and proceeded into pacing up and down his living room. His hands ran roughly through his delicate and silk hair before gripping the ends tightly, the stress and pain killing him.

He had so many questions.

Were you really considering getting back together with your ex while the two of you were on a break?

 Did you reach out to him first?

 Was Pedro nothing but a backup plan until your ex had his shit figured out?

The poor actor let out a frustrated groan as he stilled in the middle of the room, his breath shaky and the tears finally cascading down his handsome face. He couldn’t believe what was happening, the betrayal broke his heart.

When you had demanded a break from your relationship due to the constant fighting, he thought that you’d use the time to sit back and clear your mind. None of you could explain why the two of you couldn’t have a normal conversation without turning it into a screaming match. The reason why was because you were so focused on yelling and provoking each other that you didn’t bother to get to the bottom of your issues.

You didn’t give each other enough space and time to process every single disagreement through. Your work and inner pressure of having to be perfect had gotten the best of you, which resulted in the two of you becoming each other’s emotional punching bag. What had been a beautiful three-year relationship had now turned into bad one really quick. The love was still there though, it was just when the two of you were angry at each other, the whole world had to crash and burn to ashes.

If you hadn’t demanded a break, Pedro would’ve asked for it. You were the love of his life, but the two of you needed to fix your personal issues by yourselves. Not by constantly lashing out on each other. He wanted to marry you, expand your family of two with kids and spend the rest of his life with you.

But never would he have thought that two months into your break, you’d go back to your ex and humiliate him in front of the whole world. He didn’t know how you were doing as you refused to answer his texts and calls, which quickly resulted in him drinking his pain away. His friends and family had found him plenty of times passed out cold on the floor or in his bathtub with a bottle of Whisky or a dozen cans of beer in his grasp.

Their hearts were breaking for him.

The picture he just had seen was a few days old. Pedro was never a slave to his smartphone and caught onto the news way too late. If he hadn’t been bombarded with all the urgent texts from his siblings, he never would’ve opened the Instagram app and tumble upon the pictures of you and your ex.

How could someone be so cruel?

He thought that you loved him just as much as he loved you. Not ever did you shut him down when he talked about your future as a couple, hell, you even gave him the most beautiful smiles and answers whenever he jokingly called you Mrs. Pascal. The endless hours where the two of you gave your all into making your relationship work, all the hugs and kisses you shared…All the times you made sweet, passionate or rough love to each other… now felt like it was being flushed down the toilet.

Pedro felt his stomach churn in great stress and discomfort. He bent down and placed his hands on his knees for support as he really thought that he was about to throw up the few drinks and small dinner he had. Tonight, was actually the only night he was able to keep the alcoholic drinks to a minimum and consume some food without his stomach being in tight knots. He really thought that tonight was actually a decent night as he also had showered and changed into a fresh pair of sweats and his favorite t-shirt, his skin and hair moisturized and smelling great.

The other days, his sister and brother had to force him to down a few bites of the food they had brought or cooked for him while trying to keep him away from the alcohol, their remarks of his unpleasant body odor didn’t even make him blink as he didn’t care about how he looked or smelled.

He was finally getting back on his feet again but then this shitshow had to happen.

“I-I can’t take this anymore” Pedro hissed to himself, the anger and jealousy bubbling up in his stomach. All he could think about was you, he needed clear answers, needed to know your motives and whether the two of you were officially broken up or not.

So without a further thought, he regained his posture and snatched his car keys from the small coffee table before stomping his way out of his house.

 ~~~

 A loud sigh left your lips as you stared up at the ceiling of your bedroom. It was one a.m. but you still couldn’t sleep, the guilt of your recent actions leaving you with temporary insomnia. “Fuck” you groaned out loud and sat up in your bed, your eyes clenching shut for a few seconds as you felt absolutely disgusted with yourself.

Just an hour ago, you had blocked your ex on your phone and social media. Yes, the ex you had gone out with a few days ago. It was just for lunch but it was awkward as hell and you a got fresh reminder of why you had broken up with him in the first place. But you just had been sick and tired of hurting and being in suspense of whether Pedro still wanted to be with you or not that you had decided to let your pettiness and insecurities get the best of you.

You knew that it would only take a few days for him to see the pictures and hopefully feel as miserable as you were.

“Shit!” you hissed out and jumped out of bed, being hit with a wave or reality; Why in the hell did you even go out of your way to put up this stupid act when you refused to even let Pedro know how you were doing?

That man loved you to the core but instead of owning up to your past mistakes and contribution to the toxic circle your relationship ended up turning in to, you thought that being childish would solve everything and put you out of your misery.

Boy, were you wrong.

Tears filled your eyes as you felt so ashamed and disgusted by yourself. You had turned yourself into a monster and now the whole world had seen you make a fool out of yourself. You didn’t have to grab your phone and go on Instagram to know that people already were calling you a slut for jumping from Pedro right back into the arms of your ex.

You wished that you could go back in time and prevent yourself from sending your ex a text message that resulted in the two of you going out for lunch. The lunch itself was just bad and awkward, the narcissistic bastard happily voiced how he knew that “you’d run back to him” once realizing that “you needed him”.

Your stomach was in tight knots and you could barely swallow down the food while having to listen to him brag about all the other people he’s dated, even adding that you were “nothing compared to them”. Your stupid pride however prevented you from standing up, giving him the smack of a lifetime (something he really deserved) and leaving the place with the tiny bits and pieces of what were left of it.

Instead, you made yourself look like a bigger clown and pretended to enjoy the insults and useless information your ears were polluted with. You left the restaurant with the biggest, fakest grin on your face while holding onto your ex’s shoulders, trying to get to your car as quickly as possible. The second you hopped in it, you had noticed the paparazzis and knew that your idiotic plan had succeeded.

Ever since arriving home, the guilt started to eat you alive and resulted in you lying down in your bed since the late afternoon. Your stupid ex had the nerve to text you to let you know that he was horny and wanted some sexy pics of you. That text alone got him permanently blocked from your phone, social media accounts and life.

“I’m such an idiot” you cried to yourself, the room filling up with your sobs as you plopped back down at the edge of your bed. You knew that Pedro was somewhere hurting because of you, the mere thought of him in pain causing your heart to painfully clench in your chest.

You tried to calm down, even your breath while wiping the thick tears off your face. You needed to redeem yourself, let Pedro know that you loved him and hoped that he’d be able to forgive your petty and childish behavior.

“[Y/N!]”.

The loud call of your name startled you as your heart skipped several beats before pounding loudly against your ribcage. “Pedro” you whispered to yourself before slowly standing up and staring at the door.

The loud stomping of his footsteps approached your bedroom and you couldn’t help but freeze on the spot. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t prepared for this, but a part of you was excited that you’d get to see the man you loved so much again.

When the door to your bedroom finally opened and the love of your life was standing a few feet away from you, fresh tears cascaded down your cheeks again. He looked as handsome as always, but the stress and pain radiating off him was also instantly caught your eyes. His hair was a tousled mess and he was panting loudly while staring right back at you. His eyes penetrating yours so intensely, you started to feel shy under his gaze.

Seconds went by while the tension thickened in the room. A talk was overdue and you didn’t have the courage so initiate it.

“Why, [Y/N]?” Pedro finally asked, his voice calm but the anger still shadowing in the back. He swallowed hard while you slowly parted your lips.

“I-I-“

“Why?!” your boyfriend repeated louder, making you jump in surprise but also making you come to your senses.

“Because I wanted to make you feel as miserable as I am” you finally confessed, seeing him shake his head in pure disappointment. “So” he began and approached you, “You thought that hurting and humiliating me in front of the whole world would seal the deal?”.

Your stomach churned in shame and guilt as you avoided his now angered and pained glare. Your toes were suddenly very interesting to look at as you were being confronted.

“I-I didn’t know what to do…I was afraid and anxious that you didn’t want me anymore…That this break would make you realize that you didn’t wanted to stay with me…” soft sniffles left your nose.

You swallowed the last pieces of your pride and lifted your head, looking straight into Pedro’s eyes. “And instead of actually answering my texts and calls, you just jumped to that conclusion huh?”.

His words were cold like ice, his jaw was tensed as he waited for your response. “I-I’m sorry” you whispered weakly, exhausted and so over the thick cloud of pain and stress that was settled deep in your chest. Words couldn’t describe how sorry you were for having changed into this anger driven person that only sought out to seek revenge, focusing on the negative feelings instead of the positive ones.

“You hurt me” Pedro sighed, his expression changing from angered to pained and tired. You saw the dark rings he had under his eyes, silently concluding that he wasn’t sleeping well.

“

Scream how much I love you but also how much you’ve hurt me, [Y/N]”. Your heart painfully clenched in your chest as you threw your arms around his shoulders and buried your head in the crook of his neck, his delicate scent filling up your nostrils and making you realize how much you actually missed your boyfriend.

It took him a few seconds to hug you back as his brain was processing your touch. He had gone two months without it and had craved it so much to the point where he almost forgot how pleasant and soothing it was to feel you so close to him. When his arms finally wrapped themselves around your waist, you let out another sniffle before clearing your throat.

“I can’t explain how sorry I am Pedro, we were in a bad place and I am also to blame for it. Instead of telling you how I felt, I kept everything inside and just used every opportunity to lash out on you…

Your words and actions hurt me but I had to communicate correctly with you and try to get you to stop the madness and find a solution. Not turn into a petty child”. You could feel the pain slowly become lighter with every word that left your mouth.Why did you make the two of you suffer so much?

Pedro sighed and clenched his eyes shut, the tears rolling down his cheeks as he held you closer. “And I am so sorry for doing the same thing, getting angry instead of taking a breather and gently explaining the chaos going in my mind. Please forgive me, mi amor”.

“I forgive you. I forgave you a little while ago. I need you to forgive me too, my stupid actions and everything else…I don’t like him, never really did”. The room then was silent as you let your words process in your minds. Your boyfriend forgave you in a heartbeat, but knew that it would take some time for him to forget what you had done.

The sniffles slowly subsided, the tension lighter.

“I love you” Pedro whispered, his head nuzzling in the crook of your neck. His soft lips and beard tickling the sensitive skin there. “I love you” you instantly whispered back, your heart body and soul at peace again. He was the love of your life, no one could make you feel so secure and protected and at home. Both of you had some work to do as individuals but you knew that your love had only grown stronger for each other and would be able to survive other challenges life would throw at you.

~~~

Tag list: @pascalisthepunkest​ @thickemadame​ @talesfromtheguild​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​

Thanks for reading!

[ihaveanimagine]

Hi! Hope everything is well with you! I was wondering if you could do something where Cedric Diggory ends up in detention somehow, and the Slytherin Reader that is there as well, is quite surprised how pretty boy Diggory ended up there to begin with... but even more about how their detention ended ;)

AN: Kay so this story snatched my brain and ran so imma put a read more cut in here, sorry! Hope you enjoy!!

Go to Hogwarts, they said.

Get sorted into Slytherin, they said.

It’ll be fun, they said.

Looking around you at the mostly empty classroom with Finch up at the front desk, you mentally noted to have a few words with whoever said Hogwarts life would be fun and easy.

You sighed loudly and plopped your chin in your palm and glared at the wall.

Is it too late to plead innocent?

Your eyes glanced over to Mrs. Norris who was perched on Filch’s desk and felt a chill run down your spine when she stopped her grooming to stare at you with her unblinking red eyes.

Yeah detention really sucked at Hogwarts…

Although from what you heard from some of the older students, detention was usually served in the kitchens. So why were you in an empty classroom?

Your eyes darted around the room trying to find a clock of some kind to see how long you’ve been stuck there. You eventually found an ornate grandfather clock that informed you that it’s been...five minutes?!?!!!

It’s only been five minutes since you were brought in???

Sweet Merlin’s ankle socks this was torture-

You let out a frustrated growl and flopped your head on the desk.

“Hey!!” Filch’s gravelly voice cut through the room and seemed to echo around your skull. “No sudden movements you little runt! One more peep outta you and I’ll chain you to the ceiling!” 

Normally, you’d ignore Filch’s threats. But you were bored so you decided to enjoy a few moments of sass.

“Likely story, Filch.” You responded dryly, not even looking up at the squib groundskeeper. “Everyone knows Dumbledore won’t let you abuse us students like that.” 

Filch snarled and stomped his boots on the floor. “Watch your tongue, wretch! I am your superior and you will respect my authority or I will have you whipped!”

“There will be no whipping of anyone, Mister Argus Filch.” The stern yet maternal voice of Professor Sprout interrupted Filch’s tantrum. 

The Hufflepuff’s Head of House strode in with her head held high and a firm gaze. “Mister Filch, we talked about threatening students with torture.” Her tone conveyed a sense of frustration and disappointment and you were genuinely surprised to see Filch cower before the woman with an embarrassed look on his face.

You perked up eagerly, internally grinning at what just happened. Was it too much to hope Professor Sprout would save you from this death via boredom detention?

Filch mumbled out an apology and crossed his arms. 

Professor Sprout smiled and nodded her head “Apology accepted.” She turned to you and nodded a hello “Hope you’re doing well, Dearie.” She said softly.

Warmth and hope bloomed in your chest at the endearing nickname. Freedom was so close you could almost taste it!

“I’m doing well now that I know I won’t be shackled to the ceiling,” You grinned at her, not bothering to look at Filch who huffed in annoyance.

Sprout chuckled softly “I’m glad I could ease your mind, Dearie. But I’m afraid that’s all the saving I can do.”

Betrayal!

“I’m just here to drop off your detention partner and then I’ll be on my way.” Professor Sprout cast another warning glare at Filch before stepping to the side to reveal your detention inmate.

“This is Cedric Diggory, he’ll be joining you for this week and the next. I do hope you two get along and become friends!” Sprout smiles brightly at the two of you before quickly saying her goodbyes.

Vaguely, you heard Filch order the both of you to follow him to the dungeons to the kitchens (as if neither of you knew where the kitchen was located). But you were too busy trying to pick your jaw off the floor at the fact that Cedric “Pretty Boy” Diggory was in detention.

Your mind raced, conjuring up as many possible (and impossible) reasons he could have gotten into detention. Started a fight? Nah, he’s gotta keep a clean record to stay on the Quidditch team. Dared to cast a forbidden curse? A horrifying mental image (Merlin help anyone who provokes a Hufflepuff into using forbidden curses) but also unlikely. 

Maybe he sassed Snape?

That’s how you got here but you can’t picture Diggory actively sassing Snape to his face. Not many did, and from what you knew, Sassing Snape had even been banned from Gryffindor Dare Challenges. That’s how much no one sassed Snape. 

Except you apparently, but in your defense, you do believe he was just overreacting.

A small but firm tug on your sleeve yanked you out of your head just as Filch stopped at the doors of the kitchens.

Beside you, you felt Diggory inconspicuously step away from you before Filch turned around to address the both of you with a wicked, greasy smile.

Heck, you owed the Hufflepuff now-

“Enjoy your detention, wretches.” Filch drawled, opening up the door to the kitchens. Diggory shifted on his feet, obviously uncomfortable. Which Filch obviously noticed. “A shame I can’t stay and enjoy your suffer-”

“Welp, thanks for the tour, I’ll send a tip for you at the front desk.” you interrupted, shoving past Filch who stuttered wildly. You glanced back to see Diggory shuffle in quietly behind you, stepping away from Filch as far as he could while still being polite. “Now I’m sure you’re a very busy man so I’ll leave you to it!” 

You quickly dashed up to the door and closed it in front of a fuming groundskeeper who shouted empty threats.

Feeling absolutely smug and pleased with yourself, you made a dramatic show if dusting off your shoulders as a smirk grew on your features. You turned to Diggory and grinned “Tour Guides can be so pushy sometimes, don’t you agree?” You quipped, earning a chuckle covered up by a cough from the Quidditch Star himself.

“You two!” A harsh voice came from below your kneecaps mere seconds before your shoes were attacked by a wooden spoon wielding House Elf. “Put your robes on the hooks by the door then report to the wash station! If I’m gonna be forced to watch you two delinquents in my kitchen, I’ll at least put you to work!”

The plump House Elf motioned first to the small rack of hooks by the kitchen doors then at the giant sink pressed against the brick walls to his right. He smacked his wooden spoon again, this time at the floor in between you and Diggory. “Don’t just stand there! Hurry! Pitts doesn’t run a social area! Pitts runs a kitchen!”

He turns abruptly and you turn to Diggory, half-bewildered and half-amused at being ordered around by a House Elf. You weren’t sure what to expect from Hufflepuff’s Seeker but a very terrified look on his face with arms scrunched up around his torso was not what you were expecting.

Oh no, he’s adorable- You thought to yourself, torn between cooing over the expression on his face as he nervously chewed his lip and bolting to wrap him in a large blanket to comfort him. Step one: Don’t fall for the adorable looks of my detention buddy.

You coughed softly and waved a hand in front of Diggory’s face. “Hey, pretty boy, you there?” 

Diggory’s grey eyes fluttered before looking at you. He took a sharp inhale and quickly dropped his hands and straightened himself up. “S-sorry! Yes, I’m here. Uh, can I help you with your robe?” He asked, gesturing quickly to the hooks near the door as he quickly removed his and draped it over his forearm before holding his hands up to assist you with yours.

Oh no, he’s sweet-

“Uh, yeah sure. Thanks.” You mumbled before removing your robe to brush off your out-of-class clothes. Diggory took both robes and neatly set them up on the hooks. He began folding his slightly wrinkled sleeves up his forearm and you felt every inch of your body suddenly break out into internal screaming.

I bet 10 galleons, a month’s worth of Butterbeer, and a lifetime supply of chocolate frogs that boy is part Veela-

“What are you doing?” You asked, tilting your head slightly as the two of you began heading to the wash area. 

“We’re washing dishes, aren’t we?” Diggory replied, glancing up at the large sink with a pile of dishes to the side of it. “I just didn’t want to get my sleeves too wet.” 

You blinked. Shoot, you didn’t think of that.

You quickly made sure your sleeves were out of reach of the water as you both arrived at the sink where another House Elf quickly explained your jobs and how to properly wash dishes before leaving the two of you unsupervised. 

Silence enveloped the both of you as you got to work, the only words exchanged between you both were reminders of how Pitts wanted the dishes washed and soft mutters of frustration when a dish slipped or clinked loudly against the sink.

After an eternity (*30 minutes*) of washing an endless pile of dishes, you finally caught a break long enough to stretch out your muscles and pop your neck.

Only for Pitts to gleefully drop another mountain of dishes at the sink with a pinched look on his face. “Hurry up! If you troublemakers have time to break rules and get in trouble, you have time to wash more dishes!”

You were suddenly very tempted to wash dishes while singing obnoxious songs as off-key as humanly possible.

You ground your teeth but said nothing and angrily scrubbed the closest dish. As you finished your dish, you passed it off to Diggory to dry but stopped when you saw that look from earlier plastered on his face.

His eyebrows pinched in worry while he chewed on his lip, his clouded eyes darted from the sink in front of him to where Pitts stood on a crate barking out orders.

Oof, poor guy’s gotta be stressed outta his mind…

“So uh...what are you in for?” You asked, casually handing over the dish like you hadn’t been holding it for the past minute.

Diggory blinked before looking at you. “Excuse me?”

“What are you in for?” You repeated as you grabbed the next dish “Me? I’m in for asking Snape why we don’t have Alchemy classes on the regular like at the Beauxbatons.” You rolled your eyes at the memory of Snape’s face turning red in the middle of Potions Class. “I was just wondering what the differences were between potions and alchemy classes and Snape went all ‘We don’t question the curriculums in the middle of class’ so I just asked if the reason was because he sucked at Alchemy-” Beside you, Diggory let out a choked wheeze “-and he banished me to the care of our wondrous groundskeeper slash tour guide Argus Filch.”

“I-, you-” Diggory bit his lip in an effort to contain giggles. “You said what to Snape?” He laughed and shook his head as he finished drying the dish in his hands. “I’m...honestly surprised you’re still alive.”

You grinned “I happen to be very good at avoiding death via Snape. It’s mostly thanks to the fact that we were surrounded by an entire class full of witnesses that kept me alive.” 

Diggory chuckled again and you nudged him with the next dish you passed along. “So what about you, pretty boy? How’d someone with a squeaky clean record like you end up in detention?”

“Oh, I set a student’s robe on fire.”

ExcUSE?!?!????

You physically choked on your saliva and felt your nails dig into the metal of the sink as you tried to cough your way back to a clear throat.

Diggory panicked beside you and quickly cleaned a glass and filled it with some clean water and handed it to you while waiting for you to remember how to breathe properly.

“I’m sorry, you w h a t?!”

“I overheard a fifth year refer to a first year as ‘Mudblood’ so I cast Incendio on the fifth year’s robes.” Diggory replied, shrugging as a grim countenance fell on his face. “I don’t know either of them but I hope that first year is okay…”

“Wait, wait, wait! Back up!” You made the time out sign and pointed at Diggory “If you’re the one who stood up for that first year, why are you here instead of that fifth year?!”

Diggory sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Not sure...I didn’t ask, I’m...kind of in shock that I haven’t been expelled from the Quidditch team or Hogwarts yet.”

Ah, the classic “I did a bad thing now the worst possible consequence will happen” thoughts.

“But-! You were defending the kid! Why are you in trouble?” 

Another shrug. “I mean, even if I was defending someone, I used magic outside of class in an aggressive way. That’s still a punishable offense.”

Your nose scrunched up and a frown formed on your face. “I don’t suppose you can give me the appearance of this fifth year?”

“No, I’m not going to tell you what that student looks like so you’ll try to make their life a living hell while pretending to know nothing.”

“I wasn’t gonna!!”

Diggory looked at you with a half-serious half-amused expression. “Then what were you planning?”

You stuck your tongue out and grinned evilly “I was simply going to introduce them to the mermaid friends I made in Black Lake!”

Both of you broke out into laughs only to be shushed by Pitts who ordered the two of you to stop slacking.

Diggory flinched at Pitt’s tone and you gently bumped the Hufflepuff’s arm. “Hey....you okay? Pitts isn’t bothering you too much, is he? I bet I can annoy him into being quieter if you need him to stop shouting.”

Diggory smiled softly at you “Thank you but I’m...I’m okay. It’s not Pitts who I’m worried about.”

“Is it Filch? Please tell me it’s Filch. I learned this firework spell from a Gryffindor and I’ve been dying to try it out.”

Another small laugh. “No, well...not anymore. Filch is definitely terrifying but he’s the least of my problems.”

Ah, so it’s probably a personal thing. Aight no biggie, just casually steer the conversation away. No need to get mushy on the first day of school prison- ahem- detention.

“It’s my dad that I’m worried about…”

Aaaand there goes that idea-

“He’s very proud of me and I try really hard to be this perfect son for him who never causes any trouble and I’m…” Diggory looked down at the sink and his eyes went glassy for a moment before he took a deep breath. “I’ve never gotten detention before. I’ve always found some way to avoid it by picking fights with bullies when there’s a crowd of people around to confirm the bully’s actions and my defense but this time…”

“You were set up.” Your eyes widened in realization as your jaw dropped.

Diggory nodded grimly and slowly resumed his dish drying.

“Did...did you tell any of the professors what happened?” You asked softly, silently considering any and all options to track down this fifth year and cause them some sort of harm.

“Professor Sprout.” He said, taking the next dish from you “She said she’ll do some asking around but…” His throat went dry and his eyes watered.

“She gave you the disappointed voice?”

He nodded once and you nearly teared up in sympathy.

Nothing had ever made you cry as fast as hearing Professor Sprout saying “I’m very disappointed in you, Dearie.” And you were a Slytherin. You had to deal with Severus “I’m better than all of you” Snape’s condescending tone since you arrived to Hogwarts! 

“I’m...sorry, Diggory.” You whispered, not sure how to comfort him.

“Cedric. And it’s alright...I appreciate you just listening to me ramble.”

“Uh, you’re welcome?”

“Cedric.” He said again, a bit firmer this time. “You don’t have to call me ‘Diggory’.” He clarified before turning to you with a shy smile. “We’re stuck in detention for a week together, aren’t we? Might as well get to know each other.”

“O-oh, right. Uh, thanks, Cedric.” You mumbled, trying furiously to stop a random blush from rising to your cheeks. “S-so uh...after detention’s over, wanna grab a Butterbeer?” You glared at the mountain of dishes before turning back to Cedric.

Cedric grinned widely at you and practically glowed “I’d love to! It’s a date!”

Well, failed Step One I guess-