#please i'm so sad over this ending

[ballerinarina]

𐙚LET'S TALK ABOUT... DIEGO, LILA & FIVE

Okay, firstly I need to state that I'm going to say my impressions about the season four of The Umbrella Academy, focusing on the subway plotline. My considerations are very long (I'm talkative!) and about what I watched in the episodes and what I read on social media, so, I am totally open to opinions too!!

As an hyperfocused girl, I've been thinking about the subway arc plot decision during an absurd amout of time. I watched it a few times and read a lot of opinions. Yet, I still feel a little... surprised (?) by the intense hate over it.

It's not about liking or disliking the new couple that I'm talking about. Since naturally people would prefer one ship over another, it was obviously waited that the opinions would be divided.

I just... can't understand why people hated it so much as if it was a bad plot decision. Diego and Lila are beautiful together, i agree! They have a long, real and strong love story together. But why people are acting like this new plotline erased all their relationship together? Relationships are more complex than that.

Feelings are more complex than that. Humans are.

Actually, I may say that the psychological development that happens in the subway is way more interesting because Lila and Diego love each other, as much as Five loves Diego too.

This being said, I don't mean that I think a cheating plotline is interesting because of the cheating. I actually use to dislike it a lot. However, dealing with cheating in a black-and-white way as if it's an indefendible action is not clever. Sometimes, some things I read make me realize that people are so stuck into traditional morals that their capacity of thinking and analyzing complex emotional situations is kind of... damaged.

𝐒𝐨... 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐚 𝐗 𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐚 𝐗 𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞?

The Umbrella Academy is known as a series with very human and complex characters. That's what makes it so good, from the beginning! That's why I think it's kind of sad to judge their relationship with a typical moral view.

Claiming that Lila didn't deserve Diego, for example is so... so sad. She was an amazing mother and wife. She tried to go back to them for six years and as soon as she could she went back! Not even thinking twice! She loves Diego, of course she does!

Loving Five doesn't make her love for Diego less strong.

I really don't think Lila X Five is just neediness, however, no way. They already spent two seasons constructing a beautiful (friend) relationship before and in this horrible context they spent a lot of time taking care of each other, being each other's support. Considering this and their communication development — jokes on season 3, kindness in the beginning of season 4 — it's not surprising or nonsense that it turned to become romantic. People and relationships change, love is built and adapted.

I don't think Lila stopped loving Diego (i mean romantically, but even if she did, she surely didn't in other ways of loving that are as beautiful as it is) but that doesn't make her love for Five false, and Five loving and having a relationship with her doesn't make him a bad brother either. That's why I emphasized that TUA is a series with complex relationships. Why do you get upset and surprised when another relationship between complicated characters is built due to the tragedies of the script?

If this didn't cause outrage before, could it cause because, this time, when things get complicated, the plot resource used questions the standard romantic drama format expected by the system?

𝐍𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭? 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫?

I guess one of the main arguments I saw was that their relationship didn't make any sense and that their scenes were extremely out of character, but I don't think it could be sustained when they both are characters who go through a lot that makes them change, alone or together. What they're claiming being out of character may simply be character development under non-ideal circumstances.

It seems like there's an strong resistance to open their minds while watching and realize that love isn't something that can only happen once and/or once at a time and under ideal situations. Diego and Lila's marriage crisis, Five and Lila developing ther friendship inbetween work cumplicity, Five looking more lost and tired in his decisions than before, the fact that it is the second time he has been trapped in space-time — which is a big trauma for him, since, from the first season (in the first apocalypse) we have been shown that, despite being introverted, arrogant and reserved, it is precisely "relating" that serves as a point of refuge for Five not to go crazy, lowering his guard and being kind...

All of this constructs very well their psychological coherency. "He wouldn't treat her like that during season 2 or 3!", "Lila would never be a domestic mother/ Five wouldn't work do CIA!". Well, we're talking about them now, not there.

One of the plot decisions to start this season was that the characters were living between what they kind-of-desired, but things still weren't fine, they still weren't getting what they wanted.

Five being free from the world-ending, but stll not being able to relax and live a simple retired life as he wanted. Klaus being sober and free of the ghosts, but insecure and anxious. Allison having Claire and Ray, but still unable to live a happy marriage and career. Viktor having his place working with something that makes him comfortable, but still unable to find love. Diego and Lila having a family and marriage and still unable to feel happy because the domestic work dynamic wasn't working...

Adulthood. Real life. None of those situations were out of character, as much as none of the psychological changes they suffered were too.

𝐀 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐦

Since I don't really see the point on why would all of the happenings between them three could be claimed as "nonsense", even less "unasked" or "unnecessary" — because it's a work of fiction and, even if it may not be what the public wants to watch, it is not something that needs to prove its usefulness, just as events (that tie together well, because coherency matters) do not need to prove their necessity in art —, so it makes me even more sad that clearly mostly of the reactions are based on conservative views of marriage.

I know this season is not perfect, and it had a lot of defects, so I'm not saying the arc is perfect. As all the other arcs, it happened in a hurry, making us the public less abl to feel the 7 years of development. Complaining about how the arc was executed is perfectly fine, actually: after all, we know that 4 episodes were cut from the original script, as were many recorded scenes (including a big part of the subway plotline).

AIDAN: "There's a lot of the relationship with Lila that we filmes but they cut it. It took weeks to film it and they used a few minutes in a montage. That wasn't right. It also made very hard for the viewers to believe when we spent weeks filming scenes to set up that scenario."

But when I bring the conservatism theme (misoginy and remnants/consequences of the monogamous religious structure), it's because, even if we have lots of other of worse defects on other parts of the season, the biggest public overreacting opinions have been undoubtly about Five and Lila.

Anyone who spends more than 2 minutes in the comments on Twitter, Tiktok or even here knows that most of the time people've been sad and angry treating them both as if they were turned into cheaters with no morals (Five as a new kind of scroundrel asshole, Lila as some kind of ungrateful whore and I've even seen people problematizing their enemies phase, or the age difference as if one of then, or even the director, were predators, which is pure nonsense) and I can't even express how it makes me deeply melancholic.

I can't see how reacting as if the situations they were put in and their actions toward it in the scripts were absurd, terrible and dumb can't be just conservative, because they were actually very well tied script decisions, used in a bold way. With an interesting and well written enemies to frenemies to friends to lovers trope, they managed to write something fun and that developed both of the characters in their early-season-conflicts-arising-from-other-seasons.

𝐒𝐨? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧, 𝐂𝐞𝐂𝐞?

I truly just... Can't understand how some people ended up having collectively such insensitive opinions about the relationship of two characters who were so... vulnerable.

Non-ironically I even saw a lot of people defending they would prefer Five to end up with a “real life Dolores” plotline (since the author felt the need of a romance) than with Lila, or that he shouldn't ever fall in love with anyone else than Dolores. It sounds so... Insane. I can't see how someone can have any kind of shipping-affection for his "sick" relationship with Dolores. It was, for me, a completely heartbroken arc.

While watching this new season, actually, it made me almost warmly happy, as a Five fan, to see him having someone to take care of him in hard times like that. Last time he didn't have it. They loved each other, they constructed this love and even if it was constructed under a refuge, extremely vulnerable situation, as much as even if it was constructed over a hopeless and trust-breaking decision towards their loved Diego, it doesn't make it less real and beautiful.

They aren't bad people. They aren't cheaters. They were desperate.

I'm happy they found love in each other. They were victims but managed to construct a beautiful relationship to survive and it doesn't make them love less Diego, as a brother or as a lover.

Of course it breaks completely my heart that Diego and Five died without making peace, but while watching not even for a moment I considered that they stopped loving each other. They're brothers, they've went through a lot.

They were doing so fine getting along together since they came back from the apocalypse.... There's no way it would "destroy" and "erase" (terms used by some fans) all the progress that's been made... I think it would be a very shallow interpretation of their relationship and a very futile interpretation of the events. Some of the public is seeing the situation as if Five slept with his wife since the beginning, not as if he had felt in love with her in a very apocaliptical and hopeless situation.

It's essential to remember that nothing said romantic happened for six years. It turned this way only after they having practically given up hope of returning home, so exhausted they were.

I really don't think that such a desperate and lonely situation would erase all the love and dedication Diego have for Five (and Five has no reasons to stop feeling it for Diego too, obviously). Diego was totally the sweetest during this season, he did his best, but Five did too... Now they fought but it doesn't mean their relationship would be forever broken. They were both stressed out, of course, it was a sensitive situation. But, i don't think it would... However with an apocalypse going on, they just didn't have enough time.

Diego was clearly open to understand Lila better, so I really doubt he wouldn't try to do the same with Five. But, again, they were both heart broken, hot headed and with no time. It's sad and it affect them, but "destroy and erase" are very heavy terms and inconsistent with the context of their relationships.

I don't know. I don't know how to conclude this analysis. I just… Am sorry. I honestly feel lucky to have been able to experience Diego, Lila and Five, but I'm so sorry that I couldn't see these three hearts find peace in their complicated loves, even during their final moments. These are three very beautiful love relationships that grew up tangled up and that, unfortunately, couldn't unfold in time to hurt less their lovers.

It felt wonderful and desolate. I hope more people can feel it like i did.

[cuoredimuschio]

okay, but where's my steddie AU where steve wants to learn to play guitar to impress a girl he's infatuated with and he remembers that munson kid was always hanging up posters for his weird band at school, so he hikes out to eddie's usual dealing spot behind the track and asks (with far less groveling than he really should have) if eddie will teach him how to play, and obviously eddie says no because why would he want to help king steve, but of course, steve offers to pay him, $20 a week, and well, that's the kind of get-the-hell-out-of-this-shithole-town cash eddie really can't afford to refuse, so fine, he'll teach steve to play and they'll spend inordinate amounts of time together tucked away in eddie's room and they'll start to see that they have more in common than they thought and that they kind of had each other all wrong, and eddie will put his hand over steve's to help him get the placement for a tricky chord and it totally won't awaken anything in either of them?? where is it??

edit: i started writing it

[chodzacaparodia]

Over the years I've read a lot of fics where it's after the final battle with AFO and the characters are pro heroes.

And now that I've finally read the last chapter of My Hero Academia, I feel weird.

Like something is wrong (with me)

[vaguely-concerned]

I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling

[theflyingfeeling]

...😭

[sysig]

Grump and not so grump (Patreon)

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

th-the bakuten movie...i-i

[sangre]

cannot explain how profoundly miserable i am. but homura was right that even this pain is proof of love 😔

[thatoneluckybee]

i hate this story and i hate everyone why am i feeling bad for the characters i'm not supposed to feel bad for i

[wereh0gz]

Actually before season 1b or season 2 whatever we're calling it comes out I wanna talk abt how I hope prime ends

Bc I feel like the show is leading up to Sonic having to choose between his original world or the shatterverse and if he saves the original then the other shatterspaces will disappear. And that's fucking sad. I don't want characters like Nine or Rusty to disappear without getting the chance to live full, happy lives. But I also don't want Sonic to lose his original friends and family forever while trying to save the others

So I propose a secret third option. That being Sonic's original world being fixed, while the other shatterspaces sort of converge and exist WITHIN the paradox prism

Ok let me explain that a bit better SO Sonic puts the prism back together like he and Shads are planning to. That fixes Sonic's world and everything is back to normal on Sonic's end. BUT on everyone else's end the shatterspaces sort of come together, either by physically becoming one world or bridges forming between each one or something so now they have access to each other

And now the paradox prism in Sonic's world can be used to access the shatterverse, ig by touching it or maybe channeling its energy somehow with machines or something. And it's kept safe somewhere secret so a certain egghead can't cause trouble there anymore. Bc the shatterspaces now exist inside of the prism

No I'm not coping with the hard decision Sonic is gonna be forced to make at the end of this series and the inevitable loss that comes with it idk what you're talking abt (<- lying, coping)

[asiancyborg]

do u guys kno. just how much i screwed myself over

[annastrxng]

Ooc: I've taken a deep breath and a brief step back from this blog in light of recent events. It's been a while since I've read my own RULES, but what came to my attention, is just plain SHOCKING. It shouldn't have to be spelled out. But I'll do it again anyways.

It also reminded me as to why I do NOT rp with duplicates of my muse (mostly because it gives me anxiety, after having my stuff stolen about SIX times).

I can NOT believe I have to reiterate this: DO NOT STEAL my writing. If you want to show it to other people or save it, that's absolutely FINE. But do NOT claim it as your own, original work. That is plagiarism. Please for the love of God don't be that tacky.

I try to be super forgiving. Honestly I love everyone here--.

[bitegore]

Moth Jedao has suffered more than god huh

[lesboylycan]

Snail talking. so. we have had two major episodes, yesterday night and tonight. there are two things i think are influencing it:

1) housemate injured her knee, so we have been having to help her do physical things like going to the store with no breaks to sit down. yesterday, we think we hit a breaking point, as we went with her not just to the store, but also to help her help a friend who was gone and needed someone to water the plants and feed/water her cats. and then today, we went to a restaurant to eat, then immediately went to watch the latest Deadpool movie. maybe that doesn't sound too physically taxing, but when you're autistic and have weird neurological bullshit going on, mentally and emotionally draining things (as breaking the routine to eat out + watch a movie that, while comedic, far exceeds your emotion-experiencing spoons regardless, necessarily is) are automatically just as if not more physically draining

2) our newest testosterone pump hasn't been working properly (won't squirt out enough juice, usually just a dot of it if any at all), so we've been having to guess at how much our usual dose is (until tonight when we shook it and must've dislodged something, and lo and behold, it fucking works again after a week or so of shitting itself), and we're more scared of going over than under because we don't want to use up too much testosterone before we can request another bottle, so our hormones have been all out of wack

so. i think. i'm just gonna force us to take it easy tomorrow. no leaving the house, no new movies, preferably no horror no matter how much we love it since it triggers hallucinations, blah blah blah. hoping that'll help and let things ease up a bit, give us some room to breathe

[giantkillerjack]

He deserves to suffer. But please keep in mind what being around him and actively trying to push him will do to YOU. Because you, in fact, deserve peace, healing, boundaries, joy, and acceptance MORE than he deserves to suffer.

Keep an eye on your heartrate; sometimes mine is the only way I can tell I'm pushing myself too far.

Stay safe. Making a homophobe upset doesn't matter as much as your safety.

You don't owe anyone your time or health for Christmas. You deserve a holiday that doesn't make you feel like shit.

Because even if he suffers, it sounds like he will not change. And perhaps we are different people (and I certainly don't claim to know you or your family and you can do whatever you want)... but that lack of change would make me feel like shit after the first 20 triumphant minutes or so. And then I'd wonder why I am not spending my time off with people who actually like me.

Your spite is justified. your anger and bitterness are justified. Your actions would be justified. And you should definitely still do it if it will be empowering for you.

Just know that you deserve a holiday that is easy and fun, and consider whether a violently queerphobic reaction from your parent is going to better or worsen your health. Because you deserve health.

Hey so my homophobic, sexist and overall cringe biological dad is coming over for christmas and i will be extra gay and give him a heart attack. He doesnt know im trans, that i changed my name etc. because frankly i dont care about him enough to tell him.

But when he comes over i will be so so so gay. Im talking wearing a dress, nail polish, makeup and all the good stuff. I wanna see him suffer. No, not spiteful at all

[dreamswillbeyourwintermeat]

11.23.2023 2

I was going to say I understand

I understand why I'm no one's favorite

No one's priority.

I'm prickly, I'm defensive, self-absorbed, absent-minded, and a dozen other things that make me a challenge.

But you know what.

I don't understand.

Maybe I am all of that

Maybe i am hard to love.

I am.

But.

Maybe you're bad at loving people.

Maybe you're just not up to the challenge.

Maybe you just don't try hard enough, love hard enough.

Maybe that's a personal failing on your part.