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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 25 days

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Role Reversal

Roman kept mentioning that he doesn’t like transformations and it kept reminding me of Patton turning into a giant frog and Janus disguising himself as other sides. It would be very cool and epic if you could make some Roman angst based off this concept (no pressure obviously) – anon

The song "I Am in Great Pain, Please Help Me" by Crywank reminds me so much of Roman (specifically, your brand of Roman angst). I was wondering if you had the spoons for it, to write something inspired by it? No pressure to, ofc! – anon

Perhaps something where Roman is comforting Logan and then after Roman leaves, Logan is like, “Wait, shit, I should have been comforting YOU!”. You know the scene in What Makes A Perfect Gift where Logan asks for Roman’s input and Roman looks genuinely surprised? The angst potential for Roman not thinking he’s needed at a BRAINSTORM is so slept on. I know you’ve had a lot of Roman angst asks lately so I understand if you don’t want to do it, but I definitely wanted to ask just in case! – anon

Roman angst disguised as Logan centric. Logan Sherlock fic about him trying to figure out why Thomas’s mental health is so bad. – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: roman being insecure, logan being insecure

Pairings: logince can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3143

Logan feels stressed about Thomas's mental health and goes to Roman for help discussing a possible upcoming video, only for Roman to accurately guess that Logan's feeling insecure about his own role in keeping Thomas happy and healthy. Little does Logan know: there's more going on than meets the eye and it isn't until later that he realizes Roman's far more fragile than anyone could've guessed. After that, well, there's really only one course of action.

If Logan had not been paying very, very close attention, there is every possibility that he could have missed it.

He almost did; despite being entirely focused on his goal, he has to admit that it wasn't something he saw as necessarily related, and as such, dismissed initially as not relevant to solving the problem of why Thomas's mental health had been in a steady decline since the wedding. However, upon further reflection, he can conclude that not only was the sudden tightening of Roman's expression related, it was most likely the strongest indicator he's seen since he began.

"Sorry, Specs, I think my hearing cut out of a second there." Roman scratches the back of his head almost sheepishly. "Can you—can you say that one more time?"

"I believe it would be helpful for Thomas for us to do another 'low-key' video, as it were, and for you and I to work together."

"Yes, I heard that part."

"As we want to focus on recapturing some of Thomas's whimsy and zest for life—" here Roman's expression quirks towards amusement— "it would be apt for you to try and recreate some of the dreams Thomas has held onto in the past."

"Right, but not like—"

"Including transforming into those he aspired to be or the roles he aspired to fill," Logan finishes, frowning when there's that momentary tightness in Roman's smile again, "do you concur?"

"I—so I'm all for helping Thomas fall in love with his dreams again, you know, but, um…" He twists his fingers together. "I'm not sure that this is…the best way to do it?"

"You are the embodiment of Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Who else would be better equipped to help me?"

Roman blinks as if he hadn't been expecting the comment. Which is in and of itself a little odd; Roman typically never passes up the opportunity to remind them of his standing in Thomas's psyche, nor to claim credit for half of the things Thomas does even when it's far more of a group effort. "Right, but I don't see how me turning into various things would be helpful."

"Thomas is a very visual learner. It's been proven in the past via various theater productions and other activities that he thrives in environments where he can immerse himself in what it is he's doing. By having you, his Creativity, directly mimic the dreams he wishes or wished to obtain, we draw a more substantial connection between the Thomas that he is now and the Thomas he aspires to be."

Roman's mouth works. Logan frowns.

"If you have something you want to say, Roman, by all means, speak your mind. This brainstorm won't be nearly as successful if only one of us is contributing."

"Where is this coming from, Logan?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"This." Roman gestures back and forth between them. "This sudden need to 'fix' Thomas. You've been pretty clear with the rest of us that you don't think staying 'in his head' would be helpful, not when you're working so hard on your lists that you want him to do."

"Well, it's been pretty clear those aren't working, so—"

"But they have been. You know they have been—we all celebrated when Thomas finally managed to clean his kitchen and you were right, he did feel better afterwards. Your methods were working, are working."

Logan swallows. He did feel very accomplished after the last bowl had been placed in the cupboard, and no one had been happier than he when Thomas not only made himself dinner but cleaned up afterwards, but this was different. "Thomas deserves the drive to go after what he wants as well as doing the maintenance required to sustain his current lifestyle."

Roman nods. "And what sorts of things are those?"

"Roman, I don't understand—"

"Please," he interrupts, holding up his hands, "humor me?"

"You're the one who's Hopes and Dreams," he protests feebly, "you're Creativity. I'm not going to be good at coming up with them."

"Just try. You're better at it than you think."

"O-oh." He blinks. "Thank you, Roman."

"Of course."

"Uh—well, I think Thomas has a passion for filmmaking that he hasn't fully realized in shooting the YouTube videos due to the constraints of the channel."

"Okay."

"He's been enjoying doing the modeling shoots for Instagram as well. And he has a few shows that he wants to catch up on—not a dream, I know, but something he wants to do."

"That's good, Logan. What else?"

"Does he still have the dream of being an actor? On a more professional level?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Well, there you are, then."

Roman nods. "And if we go off of your transformation idea, what—what exactly would I be transforming into?"

He furrows his brow. "Well, you would be—if you were doing—I suppose you—ah. I see your point."

"It's not that there's something Thomas isn't that we need to make him into," Roman says quietly, "we can just remind him of the things that are already inside him that he can chase and pursue."

"…that is a very valid conclusion to have reached."

"He doesn't have to work all the time—I think both you and I know the dangers of letting yourself believe you can," he says with a gentle nudge to Logan's shoulder, "he can give himself time to rest and work on things that he wants to, not things that he has to."

"And I suppose making another video would be counterproductive to this aim, as it requires a level of work that would not be outweighed by the reassurance it might provide."

"I don't know if I would've said it nearly as well as you, but yeah, pretty much."

Logan sighs, closing his notebook with an almost despondent flap. "Then I suppose I have nothing else to work on."

"Good."

He frowns at Roman. "'Good?'"

"Well, now that means you can do the things that you want to do."

"M-me? What on earth are you talking about?"

"Did we not just go over how important it is to not be consumed by work all the time?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Did we not just talk about how it's necessary to rest and do the things you want to do from time to time?"

"I don't—"

"Did you not just say that you have nothing else to work on right now?"

"I know what you're doing," he says, meaning for it to come out accusatory and missing dreadfully, "it's not going to work."

"Me convincing you to take time for yourself and enjoy spending your time how you want to spend it isn't going to work?" Roman grins, leaning forward onto his elbows, propping his chin on his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Roman," he warns.

"What? It's not like I was the only one who came to this conclusion about Thomas a second ago, you were instrumental in figuring it out, Specs."

"Roman."

"And we all know that you're way smarter than I am, so if you're going to take your own advice—which you should, then—"

"Alright!" Roman laughs as Logan buries his face in his hands, trying not to smile too obviously at the praise or blush from how many compliments Roman's just given him, "you've made your point, you can stop now."

"I think you mean I've just reiterated your point, but that's alright." A warm hand pats his shoulder. "You're doing great, Logan. You don't have to stress out about this right now. Thomas has earned a break and so have you, okay?"

"…I suppose there are a few things I've been waiting to do that could occupy my time."

"There you go!" Roman claps his hands and gets up, affectionately ruffling Logan's hair and dodging his attempts to swat him. "Let me know how it goes, I'd love to hear about whatever you're working on."

Logan aims another swat at his shoulder and misses, watching Roman sink out. He shakes his head, unable to keep the growing smile off his face as he thinks about his own projects. Yes, there are several things he could do, he could work on refining the data for the experiment, he could read that study he's been eyeing for a few days, he could look over the manuscript he's drafting…

It isn't until he gets back to his room with a different notebook open on his desk that he pauses.

Why had Roman been upset at the suggestion of transformation?

They had agreed upon resting and doing what they wanted, letting Thomas do what he wanted. They had agreed that resting was good, pursuing one's own passions was good. What about transformations had rankled Roman so? He hadn't directly addressed it—something virtually unheard of for Roman. Perhaps it had been something to do with the act of transforming itself? But no, Roman had always been among the first to thrill at being someone else, or pretending to be someone else. What had caused such a dramatic shift?

What sorts of transformations had they done recently? There had been the whole thing with Remus—Logan suppresses a shudder as he remembers Remus's song and everything that happened in it—but Roman had been unconscious for most of it. Aside from that, it had been…

Well, Janus had been transforming into them more often than not, but that was him, mostly, not Roman. And Patton had become the giant frog, but that hadn't really affected Roman that much either. No, the last time Roman had been the one transforming, it had been…for…

Logan stands up, eyes still fixed on a point in the distance as his mind races.

Roman hadn't transformed for himself. It had always been at the whim of someone else. Roman was Hopes and Dreams—Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Roman did things for Thomas. He was Thomas's wants. Despite how often they all called him selfish, he…he didn't really fight for the things that he wanted.

Could he name a single thing that Roman wanted that wasn't something for Thomas?

I think you and I both know the dangers of believing you can work all the time.

There's nothing that Thomas isn't that we need to make him into.

"Oh, Roman," he whispers into the quiet room, "when did you get so good at hiding?"

He doesn't want to know the answer, but his mind is already coming up with a helpful list of every time he can remember where Roman let himself get pushed to the side, overruled, scolded, overlooked, for the sake of someone else. He thinks about the times where Roman had been obviously uncomfortable with what they wanted him to do, and then did it anyway. He thinks about how long it's been since he's actually heard Roman say what he wanted, not what Thomas wanted, not what Patton or Janus or even he wanted.

How long has it been since someone wanted Roman for Roman?

He looks back down at his desk and pulls out a different notebook. He's underestimated Roman. He won't go into this upcoming conversation unprepared.

***

He knocks on Roman's door as softly as he can, waiting for the quiet come in to push it open. Roman looks up from his—

Oh.

Oh, no.

"Oh, Roman," he murmurs before he can stop himself, crouching next to Roman's slumped figure and carding a hand through his hair, "I'm so sorry."

"N-no, I'm sorry, 'm sorry, I can—" he scrubs a hand harshly across his face— "it's fine. What, um, what do you—"

Another sob interrupts him before he can finish asking if Logan needs anything, which only makes his chest ache all the more. He eases himself down next to Roman's buckled legs and wraps a comforting arm around his shoulders, pulling him close enough to wipe a thumb across his cheek.

"Shh," he says when Roman tries to speak again, "don't stress yourself. I'm not here for anything other than this, little one."

The pet name rolls off his tongue before he can stop it, but at the slightly wounded noise that leaves Roman's lips, he resolves to use them as often as he can. He scratches his nails lightly against his scalp, shushing him again when he tries to stifle another sob.

"I'm here because I realized I'd hurt you earlier," he continues, still speaking gently, "and I did not attempt to comfort you in any way. No, no—don't pull away from me, dear. Shh, don't fret, don't fret, I'm not upset—look at me, Roman, do I look upset?"

Roman's eyes, still filled with tears, roam frantically over his face. Logan keeps his expression as soft and open as he can, letting the concern write itself plainly over the furrow in his brow. After another moment, Roman sniffles and he's already reaching for the tissue box he can see perched haphazardly on the end of the desk. He takes it with a grateful mumble and blows his nose with a honk.

"You were right. You don't need to change to be worth something, or to be fixed. You don't need to become something you're not—oh, darling, hush, now," he says when Roman's eyes grow wide with distress, "I'm not angry, I'm not—oh, you poor thing."

For Roman had begun to sob in earnest, trying in equal parts to pull away from Logan's embrace and push himself near into his chest. Logan slides an arm under his legs and pulls them into his lap, tucking Roman's face into the crook of his neck and kissing the crown of his head. There's a moment where Roman tenses and he fears he might pull away, but then he all but collapses into him and buries his nose in Logan's shirt.

"There you go, little one, shh, it's alright. You can cry, crying is good. You're alright, you're safe, I'm right here." He runs his hand up and down Roman's back. "Shh, shh, that's it…that's it, my dear."

"Sorry—'m so sorry—"

"Shh-shh-shh, no apologies from you, not about this. You're overwhelmed and overworked, it's perfectly alright for you to be emotional right now. You can let it out, I don't mind at all. In fact, I'm here to help."

"Help?"

"Mm. You took great pains to comfort me earlier, even when I did not ask, and you," and here he gives Roman a little shake, "have not let anyone comfort you in quite a long time. So yes, I am here to comfort you, to help, and if that means letting you cry in my lap for as long as you need, then that is what I shall do."

"It's so hard," comes the sniffling whisper from under his chin, "I keep—I keep trying to be what they want but they don't know what they want and then it's my fault and I can't—they keep changing and wanting me to change and I can't—"

"Shh, shh…hush, my dear, it's alright. That's right, just let me hold you…"

They spend a great deal of time like that, curled up on the floor. Logan keeps carding his hand through Roman's hair, soothing away the more violent of sobs with gentle touches up and down his back or patting his chest. How long has Roman been holding this in? How long has it been since their prince has let himself fall apart without remorse? And how long has it been since they took pains enough to notice?

He pulls himself from his own thoughts when Roman's head turns, bumping slightly against his chin. He tilts his head to press a kiss to his temple, leaning back just enough to see the blotchy face come into view. Taking another tissue, he carefully dabs up the last of the tears he can see, holding it so Roman can blow his nose again.

"…thanks, Logan."

"Of course, my dear." He raises an eyebrow at the little shudder that goes through him. "No?"

"N-no, yes. Yes. Very much yes. Sorry."

"None of that now, my dear. Do you feel any better?"

"A little bit."

"That's excellent. Shall we sit here for a little longer, or do you want to move somewhere a little more comfortable?"

"C-can we just stay here for a little longer?"

"Of course we can." He runs his thumb over Roman's cheek again. "I am truly sorry it took me so long to figure out what was going on, little one. But I'm here now."

Roman averts his gaze and once again Logan is struck by how different Roman is right now; no longer does he see their fiery prince who so eloquently made him take his own advice mere hours ago, instead he sees a shell of a Side who shies away from a gentle touch like a dog too scared to eat. The comparison alone is enough to coax him to lean forward and kiss his cheek, cuddling him against his chest.

"I'm here now," he repeats, "let me look after you."

"You will?"

"Yes, Roman, I will. I'm right here—" he pulls him a little closer— "I've got you, little one, you're alright."

"I don't know what to do."

"Right now?"

"…anymore."

Logan's heart clenches in his chest and he forces the ache away, running his thumb over his cheek once more. "Well, what do you want to do right now?"

"I want to stay here."

"Then we shall stay here. And when you're ready to figure out what you want to do next," he says, adjusting them until they're both comfortable as can be, "I will be here to help."

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #roman angst #roman sanders angst #logan sanders

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oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat · 11 months

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Fav Things to Write (SaSi)

A few things I like to write as a fanfic writer :D

Trigger/Content Warning: all-caps, suicidal characters mention, trauma (childhood, religious) mention, drinking/alcohol mention

[long post]

doomed-from-the-start Anxceit (best when familial)

platonic/familial Anxceitmus missing each other after Virgil left

platonic/familial Anxceitmus trying to figure out being a family again

platonic/familial Anxceit addressing their issues (finally)

any sort of platonic/familial hurt/comfort

Creativitwins hurt/comfort

the twins being there for each other <3

Remus angst

Patton and Janus being co-parents to Virgil

platonic/familial DLAMPR hurt/comfort

Roman angst (aka: him being insecure and needing some help)

TOUCH-STARVED SIDES FINALLY GETTING TOUCH

touch-starved dark Sides finally getting touch from the Lights because of past angst of the Darks being repressed and lonely

Dukexiety being brothers (specifically Virgil as an older brother and Remus as the younger one)

hurt/comfort in general

Roman when he gay panics

autistic Remus

autistic Logan

the Sides having to heal through some sort of trauma/grief

the Sides struggling through the denial stage of grief/trauma

Janus being a total mom (Momceit)

Janus being the mom to Remus and Virgil (especially from back when they were younger)

when one Side is having a panic attack and the other(s) are helping them through it & taking care of them

Remus with abandonment issues

the "Let me take care of you" situation

Remus begging the person who's comforting him to not leave cause he's scared they'll never come back (love doing this with the twins)

Roman with abandonment issues (being scared his comfort person will leave him)

taking creative burnout literally (like it literally burns the twins when they have burnout)

writing tall Virgil (cause Thomas has a "heightened" Anxiety)

short Janus

Orange calling everyone by their colours instead of their names

Patton angst

Patton going through very rough depression days

Remus struggling with his own intrusive thoughts

Everyone struggling with intrusive thoughts and Remus helping them out

one Side has a horrible nightmare that makes them scream, Remus sensing it and coming to help

Virgil sensing the Others' panic/anxiety

Janus being able to hear it when someone thinks a lie

Orange hearing jealous/angry thoughts

Virgil hearing fearful/anxious thoughts

Remus hearing everyone's intrusive thoughts

Logan angst

Logan thinking his worth is equal to what he can produce and literally everyone else disproving that

when one Side feels unloved and the other(s) showing them just how loved they are

projecting my trauma on my fav blorbos <3

twin angst

WHEN ONE SIDE IS NEEDING A HUG AND THE OTHER(S) HUG THEM TIGHT WITH ALL THEIR LOVE

Thomas hugging his Sides <3

any scenario that makes my readers cry (*cue evil laughter*)

suicidal Sides being proven that they're worth it and choosing to live longer

angst, all the angst

Roman being too gay to function

sleepy Sides needing to sleep but aren't because angst reasons

Logince, gay panic Logince

WHEN THE OTHERS TELL REMUS THAT THEY MAY NOT UNDERSTAND HIM BUT THEY'LL ALWAYS LOVE HIM ANYWAYS

the others helping Remus with his intrusive thoughts

when one Side cards their hand through the other's hair

Janus stealing the others' warmth when he gets too cold and getting all cuddly and soft

Intruloceit where Remus and Janus decide to treat Logan better than the Lights do (and Virgil being like "as long as y'all are happy" and being supportive)

winged Sides

Remus having tentacles and hugging people with them (usually hugging Roman)

Both Remus and Roman having tentacles, Ro's are red and Re's are green, but Roman always hides them because he's very insecure about them

EMOTIONAL LOGAN

Patton secretly knowing all the dirty things and telling Remus this & Pat is like "no one will ever believe you >:3" and then continuing his innocence act like nothing happened

platonic Intruality hurt/comfort

the twins gossiping about their crushes together

the twins bonding by dualling each other in the Imagination

the Imagination being sentient and being a protective mom to the twins

Janus and Roman being dramatic with each other and indulging in the latest gossip together

Roman being the Ego and what that entails & all of that being addressed (finally)

Thomas loving on his Sides as they all heal together <3

Patton getting emotional/upset and his frog traits start to show as he gets more upset/emotional

Patton being insecure about his froggy traits (and Janus showing him it's okay)

VIRGIL HAVING A PET SPIDER OR FOUR

Virgil with spider traits

the twins being chaotic together

Naga Janus? Yus.

Cecaelia Remus -> f*ck yeah

hissing match between Janus and Virgil

Remus having the need to always be close to his family/friends because of touch-starvation and abandonment issues

nonbinary Sides

genderqueer Janus or genderfluid Janus

JANUS WITH CHRONIC PAIN/CHRONIC MIGRAINES

disabled Sides

ADHD Roman & ADHD Patton

Virgil with an anxiety disorder

ptsd/c-ptsd Sides

religious trauma, my beloved <3

any childhood trauma because I love tormenting my blorbos

Janus needing to use a cane

Janus with either burn scars or vitiligo

Janus and Logan being wine drinkers

the Darks helping the Lights get over their people-pleasing habits

Janus being a huge self-care advocate (so is Remus since he lives with Janus; Virgil also because he used to live with the Darks)

the Darks calling each other freaks (affectionate)

And so much more!

May add on to this later, we'll see :D

#long post #fanfic writer #sanders sides #mm so many headcanons #expect a lot of h/c from me

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edupunkn00b · 6 months

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My WIPs Summarized Badly

Many thanks to @penna-nomen for tagging me!

Following your model, here are my WIPs in my planned order of completion. Let's see how this goes. Some have been partially published, some are only glimmers in my head (and Google Docs).

There are some spoilers in the notes below but so few people are likely to see this I think I'm safe. :D

Dystopian future man (who got eaten an Amazon Abracadabra (tm) packing bot in the last story), runs away to live with the local superhero clan and falls in love. (Meus ex Machina; intrulogical, oranceit, familial morange)

The gods must be crazy. (Villains Aren't Born. They're Made; intruality, intrulogicality if we're really, really good)

And they were roommates. (Where the Air Is Sweet; logicality)

A formerly enthralled new vampire learns how easy it is to enthrall another human. Well, werewolf. Well, you know what I mean. Oh, and did I mention he and his friends need to save New York City's supernatural beings from bigoted normies? Yeah. (Thrall; intruanaloceit, orange-tinted royality, logince zest)

There is a mage in the South. (Just Like Magic; platonic (?) loceit)

There's something strange going on in the Mindscape. (Echoes of Our Future; intrulogical)

Patton Croft is two years old. (Fatherhood, part of Overruled; intruloceit)

Janus likes wine. (About Janus; intrulogical)

And they were roommates. Again? (Roomies; intruality)

Dracula learns to love. (untitled, from the Beside Me-Dee-Thrall universe; Intruanaloceit)

Once upon a time, Remus and Logan get married. Remus has a nightmare. (Dreams and Nightmares, Logan-Janus-Roman-Remus/Happily Ever After universe; intrulogical, roceit, remile)

Remus and Logan get married. The end. (Love You Madly, from the Love and Madness/Play Us a Song universe; intrulogical)

An android falls in love. (Welcome to the Hive; intruloceit)

There's a reason bodyguards shouldn't fall in love with their clients, you know. (With My Life; roceit)

Time loops have been done before. (Time After Time; intrulogical)

Janus is the Doctor’s soulmate, reincarnated through dozens of characters in their search for them across the universes. (More Time With You)

[ redacted ] ([ redacted ]; loceit)

Did I boop you on the 1st? Please consider that a tag! :D

#Meus ex Machina #Villains Aren't Born. They're Made #Where the Air is Sweet #Thrall #Just Like Magic #Echoes of Our Future #Fatherhood #About Janus #Roomies #Dreams and Nightmares #Love You Madly #[ redacted ]#untitled #WIP Ask game #Welcome to the Hive #With My Life #Time After Time #some have already begun being published #some have not

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lily-janus · 2 years

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Rivals (?)

Summary: Logan has a crush on one of the most popular kids in the school, Roman, but fears his mortal enemy, Janus, will get in the way... and he's not entirely wrong...

Pairings: pre-romantic Logince, platonic Loceit (as in they hate each other)

Warnings: some low self esteem talk from Logan, a bit of unsimpathetic Janus towards Logan, food mention (not graphic). Lemme know if there's smth I missed.

Super late but deal with it, for @loginceweek2023 day 3 - competition.

I'm planning to have more chapters for this but they're more Loceit focused so I decided to post just the first part that focuses more on our fav prince and nerd^^

-------------------------

Logan and Janus had been rivals ever since Janus first arrived at the school.

They were both highly intelligent and well read people that did well in academic environments, such as school.

So it was that Logan and Janus were both the top students in their year with almost identical scores, they were both leading the debate team and math league of the school, won similar awards, and so on and so forth.

They were both incredibly competitive so the fact that they had so much in common didn't push them closer but rather did the opposite: they hated each other. They argued over everything, constantly keeping their guard up around each other to try and best each other for once, looking for a sign of weakness or something else they can use to bring the other down.

So it was that, when Logan started developing feelings for one of the most popular kids in school, he just knew Janus was going to try and make a move as well, if just to spite Logan.

While, yes, him and Janus had many similarities, they also had huge differences. For one, Janus was an incorrigible flirt and great at acting, while Logan… well, he was too straightforward and socially awkward for any of that.

So it happens that Janus was at the same theater group as Logan's crush, Roman, while Logan's only interaction with him during school was math class… which Roman spent most of his time doodling in his notebook rather than actually listening in.

Suffice to say, Logan was at a huge disadvantage in this particular competition between him and Janus, not to mention Logan can never imagine a scenario where Roman choses the boring nerd that he is over the smooth and slick Janus that shares at least one interest with him… he doesn't stand a chance!

"But you don't know that Janus is interested in him." Patton pointed out one time during lunch when Logan brought it up.

"That's not the point, he'll do it just to spite me, that's just how he is." Logan said, taking a bite from his sandwich grimly. "I should just give up… even if Janus was out of the picture there's no way 'mister popular' will be willing to go out with me of all people."

"Aww don't give up yet! You haven't even tried yet, he might surprise you!" Patton said encouragingly, smiling.

Logan opened his mouth to say something… when he saw Roman and Janus stepping inside the dining hall, laughing together, Janus smirking proudly.

Right… they just had theater together, they probably had so much fun together they lost track of time…

Logan sighed, taking another bite. "I highly doubt that…"

Then, suddenly, Roman locked eyes with Logan, making him freeze. He turned to Janus to say something, then, to Logan's shock, he moved towards him.

"Hey!" Roman smiled at him when he reached his and Patton's table.

"Um…hello." Logan managed to say somehow.

"Logan, right? We're together in math." Roman said, still smiling.

Logan just nodded. Roman knows who he is!

Roman bit his lip, looking back to where Janus was still standing. "Well I… wanted to ask you something…"

Logan frowned, confused, if Logan didn't know better this looked like Janus… no, that's impossible. He looked at Patton for support, but he just grinned at him.

"Uh… yes? What is it?" Logan asked, trying not to let his nervousness show.

Roman took a deep breath. "I was just wondering if… If you'd be interested in hanging out somewhere? Like a… Date?"

It took Logan a long moment to realize he actually heard that and his mind wasn't playing tricks on him.

He looked behind Roman towards Janus and they locked eyes, Janus looked almost… threatening? Did he want Logan to say yes?

"Logan?" Patton drew his attention and he realized in horror that Roman was standing there, obviously nervous and Logan kept him hanging all this time.

"Right, sorry, I just never thought you'll… nevermind, I would love that, Roman." He smiled at him and Roman slumped a little, looking relieved.

"Really? That's great um… here's my number and I'll… text you the details." He smiled shyly, handing him a piece of paper before running off.

Logan clutched the paper, looking at Patton's grinning face. "Ah… what just happened?"

"Roman just asked you out on a date!" Patton yelled in excitement, grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him.

Logan smiled, so he didn't imagine it. "I… can't believe it-"

"Ahem."

They both turned to see Janus glaring at them. He turned his raging glare to Logan, poking him in the chest with an accusatory finger. "If you do the smallest thing to hurt him, I will end you, do you understand?"

Logan blinked, swallowing nervously. "I… don't understand, I thought you'll-"

"Take him from you?" Janus huffed, backing away a little. "Believe me I tried talking him out of asking you out but pretty boy here wouldn't listen." He rolled his eyes. "All those drawings of you he drew during math… almost made me vomit."

Logan frowned. "You and Roman are… friends?"

"Whatever! Just be careful with him alright?" Janus said and walked away.

----------------------------------------------------------

Logan tapped his fingers on the table, constantly checking his watch. Of course, he was so worried of being late that he arrived half an hour early and the wait was figurtavily killing him.

Finally, Roman showed up and sat down on the seat opposite of Logan, beaming. "Hey there! You're right on time, of course you are." He shook his head with a smile.

Logan flushed, the way he said it sounded like… he knew him… For exactly how long was Roman watching him?

"Actually I… I arrived here thirty minutes early, you never know how traffic is going to be so I went out early… just to be sure." Logan said awkwardly.

Roman blinked, and Logan worried he came out too uptight and serious. But then Roman chuckled, "yeah that does sound like you, so I'm assuming you had plenty of time to think of what you want to order then. You look really nice, by the way."

Logan had to look away, blushing deeply. "Um… thank you… you too."

While he waited for Roman, Logan tried to think about what to talk about with him. But now, as it turned out, Roman was fully capable of carrying the conversation all by himself, constantly jumping from one subject to another, Logan only managing to put in small replies and smiles here and there.

Logan didn't mind though, Roman's voice was.. pleasant, so much so that he was sure he could listen to it all day.

When their food arrived, Roman quieted down and they resumed eating in a relaxed silence.

"So… It came to my understanding that you and Janus are pretty close." Logan said after a while.

Roman stopped eating, swallowing and putting his fork down, looking a little uncomfortable.

"Oh, it's no problem, really, I was just wondering-"

"It's okay, I know you two don't get along but… well I really like you, and Janus' my best friend so… I was hoping for a small truce?" Roman looked at him hopefully.

Damn it Logan can't say no to that… "Did you ask Janus that, too?" He asked instead.

Roman nodded, chuckling a little. "Yeah, he was not happy, you should have seen his face. But he agreed eventually, though he said he'll, and I quote, 'still beat your score this year' "

Logan huffed. "I'd like to see him try, that slimy snake can keep dreaming-" he stopped himself. "...Sorry, reflex."

Roman sighed. "It's alright, so… that's a yes?"

Logan hesitated, Roman is amazing but… Janus? "Only when we're not at school?"

"Only then." Roman agreed. "Though if you'll try to be a bit nicer to each other at school that'd be awesome too but it's not a must."

Logan sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Truce it is." He said bitterly, though the bitterness melted at the sight of Roman's grin.

"Yay! Oh I'm so happy I could kiss you now!"

Logan was sure his entire face turned red as he almost choked on his food. "Um…" he said in a stroke of brilliance.

Roman suddenly realized what he said, chuckling nervously. "Heh whoops, we can wait for that." He blushed a little.

Logan looked down at his plate. "Yeah… We can wait."

#sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #pre romantic logince #platonic loceit #loginceweek2023 #loginceweek2023 competition #cw food #tw low self esteem #mutual hatred #Lily writes

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willowaudreykeyes · 4 years

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*falls down stairs and lands in the back of an aeroplane that goes to its max height before someone straps a parachute to my back and pushes me out and i scream very loudly as i fall but i pull the parachute at the right time and i crash through your living room window with grace and pizzaz only to stumble over my feet and land face first on your carpet-*

ROMANTIC/QPR INTRULOGICAL WITH BEST FRIEND LOGINCE AND SUPPORTIVE TWINS IS FUCKING AMAZING DON’T @ ME

*skedaddles out your front door leaving $20 behind because it fell out of my pocket*

#dont ask me what this is because i am unsure...#romantic intrulogical mention #qpr intrulogical mention #platonic logince mention #supportive creativitwins mention #me being a dumbass #tw caps

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sidespromptblog · 2 years

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I can fully imagine Logan telling Roman that he’s going to show him his favorite move, and Roman just internally groaning.

Imagining some boring slog of a documentary about how paint dries on a wall for 47 hours.

But being utterly blindsided when Logan puts on Sweeny Todd, hunkering down next to him with a cozy blanket and some popcorn.

“Virgil isn’t joining our movie night... right?”

Roman asks, looking around for the anxious side.

Logan just shakes his head.

“No, this is our movie night, Virgil’s is Friday.” Logan tells him as the movie starts to play. “Now hush, this is my favorite part.”

Roman does, feeling a little more like he both did and didn’t understand Logan a little more.

#logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil mention #sanders sides #sanders sides prompt #platonic logince #logince

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incorrect-sanders-sides · 3 years

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Roman: Logan said the funniest thing yesterday.

Roman: I need therapy

Roman: as if

Roman [tearing up]: I'm fine..

#roman sweetie no #incorrect sanders sides quotes #incorrect sanders sides #sanders sides #incorrect quotes #ts roman #roman sanders #incorrect roman sanders #logince #platonic logince #familial logince #incorrect logince #roman angst #roman sanders angst #tw therapy mention #tw: therapy mention

679 notes · View notes

poisonedapples · 3 years

Text

Patton’s Home for Traumatized Kids - Chapter Three

New School and Friendships

Chapter Summary: Roman has his first day in a new district while some bonds are strengthened.

First Chapter Previous Chapter Story Masterlist

Warnings: Past abuse mentions, mentions of hidden cameras, anxiety, some bullying, crying, and food mentions

Chapter Word Count: 5,860

Taglist: @shade-romeo, @grayson-22, @pixelated-pineapple, @acrobaticcatfeline, @astrozei, @edupunkn00b, @princey-7258

“Hey, dad?”

“Yeah?” Roman’s dad turned to face him. Roman felt his whole body start to shake.

“You know how you said that…I could ask for anything from you? Since, uh- since you didn’t know what present to get me last time?”

His dad smiled in a way so normal it was disturbing. “Got an idea?”

“Yeah, uh…I want a canopy bed.”

His dad’s face dropped, and Roman could feel the anxiety and regret bloom through his chest. “You know why I can’t do that, Roman.”

“Please? I know it’s probably a bit much to replace my whole bed frame, but I could make my own canopy for cheaper! I’ve already looked at a bunch of ways online how, I just need you to buy the materials-”

“It’s a no.” Roman’s dad looked angry, and Roman would’ve done anything to run the other direction at that moment. To burst out the door and never come back. “Nice try, Roman, but I’m not stupid. Come back when you have a better idea.”

Roman blinked to fight back the tears. “…I’m sorry.”

“Go back to your room.”

Roman ran up the stairs as fast as he could, wishing more than anything that there was a lock on his door. Instead, Roman took his desk chair and propped it against the knob for some kind of security, curling into the corner of his room as he shook and tugged at his hair.

He tried to block out the knowledge of the security camera on his shelf, hidden well but not well enough, pointed right at his bed.

***

Several fast knocks came onto Roman’s bedroom door, waking him up with a jerk. He groggily pushed open the curtain in front of his head to grab his phone and look at the time. Six o’clock on the dot, it read. Ugh.

The knocking on the door didn’t stop, and Roman whined. “What?” He called out.

“Get dressed, we need to leave the house by 6:30.” He heard Logan call back.

“Fine, fine.” Roman pushed the curtains out of the way and practically rolled out of bed, grabbing the clothes he’d organized for himself the night before. He put on a pair of jeans with a white and red t-shirt, nothing fancy but fancy enough for a first day surrounded by strangers. He grabbed his backpack and put his phone and some earbuds in his pocket before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

“Morning, kiddo!” Patton chirped as he made breakfast, “Didja sleep well?”

“Yes, I did.” That was a lie. He had some strange dream where his dad was also there, and he only managed to calm down and fall back asleep an hour ago. He still couldn’t stop thinking about it, even if the dream was hazy now.

“Good to hear! Be ready by 6:30 so I can drive all of you to the school. Then once you get there, you can ask about your schedule at the office.” Patton laid down a plate of bagels with cream cheese and strawberries in front of Roman, so Roman began to eat.

Once he finished his breakfast, Roman rushed back upstairs to style his hair and brush his teeth before they had to leave. As he brushed his teeth, he stared at the shower to the left of him and sighed. He touched his hair, feeling the grease slick onto his fingers.

He really needed to shower. He hadn’t showered since he got here, and with how thick his hair was it was really starting to gross him out. He hated feeling greasy and grimy, but Roman hadn’t checked the bathroom for cameras yet and he refused to shower until he did. Though, he knew that was also just an excuse. Roman also felt too tired to take care of himself.

Just brush your teeth, he thought, they told you that if you can’t shower, at least brush your teeth. Greasy hair can be fixed, cavities are expensive.

He spit out the toothpaste into the sink and rinsed out his mouth. He grabbed some face wash and decided to use it as quickly as he could to hold back the gross feeling he felt. It would help him feel a little cleaner, at least. A little more presentable for the first day.

A loud bang came onto the door. “Roman, hurry up!” Virgil called out, “Some of us need to piss!”

“Just a second!” Roman vigorously splashed water on his face and quickly dried it with a towel, rushing out of the bathroom so that Virgil could run in. He sighed again, walking downstairs to wait on the couch until it was time to go.

“Alrighty, everyone got everything?” Patton eventually asked, making Roman crack open the eyes he didn’t even realize he closed. Patton smiled and clapped his hands together when his response was tired hums of agreement. “Perfect! To the car!”

All three kids bunched themselves together in the back of Patton’s car, Roman and Virgil at the window seats while poor Logan was squished in the middle. Roman squeezed his legs together so he could fit his backpack between Logan and himself, acting as a barrier so Logan couldn’t touch him. It was uncomfortable, but it was what Roman had to do.

“So, Roman, are you excited?” Patton asked, making Roman open his eyes again to look at Patton through the rearview mirror. Roman leaned his head against the window.

“More nervous. I’ve never been to a new school before.”

“Well, hopefully you can make lots of friends here! The school is pretty big, so there are certainly lots of options!” Patton laughed at himself and Roman closed his eyes again.

We’ll see about that.

Eventually, after a failed attempt of getting in some extra minutes of sleep before school, Roman felt the car come to a stop. He opened his eyes and looked out the window to see the front of the large school building, kids with smiling faces talking to each other as they walked inside while others looked tired yet excited. Roman wasn’t feeling it.

“Alright, kiddos, have fun!” Patton exclaimed, “Remember to check in with the office for your schedule, Roman!”

All the kids started to pile out of the car, grabbing their bags off the floor to rush inside. Once they were all out, Patton’s car drove away to head for work.

Roman looked at the building as Logan and Virgil walked inside. It seemed huge compared to his old school, where the county was much more rural than here. They still had twenty minutes until school started and kids were already swarming in from multiple entrances, both from the main entrance and other doors connected around the building. Roman walked inside and held his arms close to himself, desperate not to be shoved around by the other students.

The office was fairly easy to find, considering there was a giant sign over the door in bold, white letters reading Office. Roman opened the door and stepped inside to get in line, feeling a little bit better that he wasn’t the only student having first day issues. The line shrank very quickly until it was Roman’s turn to ask questions, being faced with an old lady who could either be very sweet or the rudest person in the building. Roman could never tell.

“Uh, I’m a new kid at this school, and my guardian told me to come here to get my schedule?” Roman asked.

“Name.” Okay, well, rude it was, then.

“Roman Goldsberry.”

The desk worker didn’t respond, only typed something on her computer and didn’t make eye contact. “Next door to your left of that entrance is the counselor’s office. Your counselor is Mrs. Walters and she’ll call for you shortly.”

“Okay, thank you.” Roman had never scurried out of an office so quickly in his life. So much for a great first impression.

In the other office, Roman sat on a waiting chair and awkwardly glanced at all the college items they had hung up on the walls, waiting until his name would be called. The school day hasn’t even started yet, what’s taking them so long?

Roman drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair and waited. There was a lot of college stuff in this room. Granted, high school’s whole thing was trying to take you to college, his old school was the exact same. And he should really start thinking about that stuff since he’s a sophomore now. He only had two more years left after this, but it’s not like he could go anyway. He wasn’t even supposed to graduate high school, let alone college.

Besides, his dream was stupid anyway, so it didn’t matter.

“Roman Goldsberry?” A voice called out, taking Roman out of his thoughts. Roman stood up to follow the counselor into her office.

“I’m Mrs. Walters, and it’s nice to meet you Roman!” She said cheerily as she sat at her desk with Roman sitting right in front of her. “Your schedule was a bit last minute to pull together, but I tried my hardest based on your last school’s transcript and your test scores from last standardized testing. All I need is to schedule some extra electives for you. You have advanced English 12, advanced geometry, advanced biology, and world history. You can also choose Spanish 3 here if you wish to continue that. You also still need your gym credit, so you can take regular PE or strength training. I also have a list of other electives here if you want to look at that.”

“Yeah, I can look.” The counselor handed Roman a paper of all the electives organized by their subject. Well, Roman definitely wanted to continue Spanish, so that choice was easy. Strength training sounded like a fun way to do gym class with less dodgeballs to the face, but it was only a semester long, so he’d need to pick another semester class for the second half of the year. And he could join another painting or drawing class as his last elective, but he’d already taken those at his old school…

Roman gazed at the arts section of the packet, trying to find something he might like. His eyes lit up as he noticed the names of two classes: set design, which was a semester long and sounded magical, and something called sculpture. “What does the sculpture class teach?” Roman asked.

“It’s an art class that teaches you how to sculpt with different things. Like clay, wood, things like that. It’s a very hands-on class if you’re interested.”

Roman smiled. “I want that one then.”

The counselor typed something into her computer. “Have you chosen your other classes?”

“Yes, Spanish 3, set design, and strength training.”

“I’ll put you in strength training for this semester, but next semester you can join the set design class. I’ll email your elective teachers to inform them you’ll be joining their classes, but for now…” The counselor printed off a piece of paper and handed it to Roman. “This is your new schedule. Your first class is English with Ms. Fritz, and her class should be up on the third floor at room 316. Do you think you can make it there?”

“I can, thank you.”

The counselor smiled. “Have a nice first day.”

Roman walked off to head toward his first class, going up two flights of stairs and wandering across half the floor before he finally found his classroom. Thankfully, the halls were full of students desperately trying to locate their classrooms, so Roman didn’t feel as weird. He eventually stumbled upon the correct room number after checking multiple hallways and trying to follow their scattered number system. He looked at the door with a paper rabbit and a book with a phrase reading hop into a good book, and could guess immediately what type of teacher this would be.

Roman pushed open the half-cracked door and stepped inside.

The dozen kids who were already sitting stared at him when he walked in, but quickly resumed their conversations shortly after. Roman glanced at an empty seat off in the middle row near the other end of the class and moved to sit down in it. He looked around at the other kids off in their own worlds, with no one to get excited to see him and strike up a conversation. He was sitting alone in a class where it seemed like no one else was.

Roman got bored quickly with no one to talk to, drumming his fingers on the table and starting to daydream instead.

The long lost princess with the power to see into the future is forced to hide in protected wilderness, Roman thought, picking up from an old story idea he’s had for a while. Can’t have a teen novel without an orphan, so she lives with a guardian healer instead. Then, she needs a trusty companion to not only start her adventures, but to assist her alongside them. Perhaps he could be a peasant boy born with more magic power than the normal peasant has? It sure would be interesting. Or maybe, he’s not a trustworthy companion at all! What if he’s using the princess to promote his own selfish ideals? But as the story goes on, they actually become close friends and he has an intense internal conflict as he turns into the antagonist! Then maybe-

“Alright class, I think it’s been late enough for us to start!” Roman tried not to be aggravated at the teacher for interrupting him. The teacher stood at the front of the class with a wide smile. “I’m Ms. Fritz, but of course I’m sure a lot of you already know that since you had me last year. I teach all grade levels for advanced English, so if you keep down this path you might stick with me until graduation! Now normally, teachers will start their first day with class expectations, maybe a rubric or a supplies list, but I have a better idea! How about we travel across the class and try to get to know each other better? I can pass around a ball, and if you catch the ball, you have to share three fun facts about you!”

A sense of dread filled into Roman after hearing that. He usually didn’t mind games like this since it was a mindless way to pass the time, but he didn’t have any friends to pass him the ball anymore. Was he just going to sit there until the end? Sounded awkward, no thank you.

“I think,” Ms. Fritz said with her hand gripping her chin in thought, “I’m going to start with the new kid.”

Roman perked his head up as all the other kids turned to him. Well, that was unexpected.

Ms. Fritz tossed Roman the ball, and thankfully he caught it without making a fool of himself. The teacher smiled at him encouragingly as he stood up, looking around at all the kids waiting for him to talk. What should I even say?

“Can you say your name first?” Ms. Fritz asked.

“Well…I’m Roman. Uh, I like to paint, I’m half french, and…” Roman tried to think. What else was interesting about him? Something that shared a lot about him as a person?

Quickly, it dawned on him. One idea that I could possibly share, he thought. Well, it’s a bit invasive, but they’re all looking at me. So whatever.

He took a deep breath in. “…I’m a foster kid.”

When Roman admitted that, all the kids seemed to be more interested in him, leaning closer as their eyes widened. It was the first time Roman ever said it aloud, and it was so strange to hear coming from his mouth. He was a foster kid. That was an important part of his identity now.

He didn’t know how he felt about it.

“You’re half french?” Ms. Fritz pulled Roman out of his thoughts with that question. “Do you know any french?”

“I’m fluent.”

“That’s so cool! Can you say something in French for us?”

Roman seemed to think about it. “Quelque chose.”

Ms. Fritz blinked. “Well, I hope it was appropriate to say in a classroom. When did you move here, Roman?”

“Like…four days ago. Very recently.”

“You only got added to my roster last night, so I believe you! How about you pass the ball to another kid now?”

Roman looked around the room awkwardly before making eye contact with a random girl and tossing her the ball. He sat back down and only paid half his attention to what the other kids were saying. Well, at least he didn’t have to wait awkwardly anymore.

The rest of the class went like that. It seemed like a lot of these kids were students that Ms. Fritz had in the past, as well as being students that were also close friends with each other. They talked a lot and made lots of jokes with the teacher, and they seemed really close, which Roman understood since he was the same with his old group of advanced kids. The extra conversation dragged the game out longer than it probably should have been, but Roman didn’t mind. He didn’t want to actually work or anything anyway.

Eventually, the game ended, and the last kid tossed the ball to Ms. Fritz. “Alright,” she said, “That game dragged out longer than I thought it would, but that’s fine! The bells are shorter the first few days anyway. We only have a couple minutes left, so talk amongst yourself if you want, I don’t care. The assembly should be after your fourth bell for the sophomores, so don’t let your teachers forget!”

All the students turned around to talk to the kids around them. Roman simply watched their conversations with no one to talk to himself, realizing how all the new kids at his old school must have felt. It was like looking in from the outside, where no one else could see you. Roman was just…there.

“Hey,” the kid in front of him turned around to face Roman. Roman almost jumped at the sudden attention. “What’s your name again?”

“Oh, Roman. Roman Goldsberry.” Roman turned to sit properly in his seat and leaned in closer. This was a good start! He seems nice, maybe I can make a friend!

“Roman Goldsberry!” He mocked, turning to his other friends to laugh. “That’s such a pretentious name. And very American sounding, by the way. I thought you were French?”

Roman’s shoulders sagged. Nevermind. Eight in the morning on my first day, and apparently I’ve made an enemy before a friend. “I’m half french, not fully french.”

The kid turned to his friends and made a face at them before they all laughed. Roman felt his blood boil.

“So your dad is the American?” The kid asked.

“Yes.” Roman hoped his sharp tone would help them realize not to mess with him.

“Are you close with your dad?”

Roman froze, and the group of kids turned to each other to make faces at each other again. He really didn’t see what was so funny. Who asks a complete stranger a question like that out of the blue?

Before Roman could snap and tell the kid to mind his own damn business, another kid from the other side of the room scoffed. “Mitchell.”

“What? I’m just asking!”

The other kid opened their mouth to retaliate, but a loud and obnoxious bell went off before they could. Kids started to get up to rush to their next class, and Roman joined them. The sooner he got away from Mitchell (who had no right to bully Roman for his name when he was called Mitchell), the better.

Roman rushed out into the hall and hyper focused on the schedule in his hands. World history, room 203. The next floor down.

Roman was so occupied in trying to find a flight of stairs, he didn’t notice the kid trying to catch up to him.

***

The rest of Roman’s day wasn’t half as eventful as his first bell. History class had a chill teacher, which was nice, then next was his strength training class. His teacher was a little confused when he showed up but was happy to have Roman on board. He seemed very strict with his class rules though, and Roman hated that considering one of his rules was they had to change into gym clothes. Which meant Roman had to wear gym shorts.

…Well, guess he’d have to get used to wearing multiple pairs of boxers again.

Besides that, he also got lost on his way to sculpture, so he showed up ten minutes late telling this random teacher he was her student now. At least she didn’t seem bothered. After that, they all went to the sophomore assembly where they were told the school rules and updates, which Roman’s pretty sure he was the only kid who actually listened. Then, after the assembly, Roman went to the cafeteria to eat a lunch that Patton packed him. He hadn’t actually brought a packed lunch to school in years, so the sentiment was…strange.

Not that Roman would complain about an edible lunch, though.

Roman looked around the cafeteria for a place to sit. The place was starting to become crowded as more students got out of line for buying lunch, so Roman needed to find a spot fast. It’d be easier if he made a friend to sit with, but after the morning Mitchell incident, Roman hadn’t cared to try again in his other classes.

That’s when Roman spotted him. A kid with thick glasses eating a fruit cup as he worked on some papers next to him, completely ignoring the world to finish some homework. Roman wasn’t exactly close with his foster brothers, but hey, maybe Logan could prove himself a little useful. He had to be lonely too, right?

Roman took his chance and sat across from Logan. Logan didn’t look up from his papers. “Hey there, nerd!”

Logan glanced an eye toward Roman. He focused back on his work. “Hello.”

“How’s your first day of high school going?”

It took Logan a solid minute before he responded. “It’s going alright. I got unlucky with a teacher of mine, who already gave us a homework packet for the week, so I’m trying to get a head start on it.”

“Really? What teacher?”

“Mr. Owens, he’s the more strict teacher of the two that teach medical technology.”

Roman’s eyes widened. “Medical technology? That’s a class here?”

“Yes. I had to do a lot of things last year to get into it, however. It’s part of the intensive medical learning path. However, the extra work is necessary.”

“…Right. What other classes are you in?”

“Advanced biology, advanced geometry, advanced English, medical tech as I just mentioned, German 2, health, and painting.”

Roman tilted his head to the side. “Wait, I thought most of those were sophomore classes?”

“And I took freshman classes my eighth grade year. Your point?”

Roman blinked. “…Fair enough.”

Roman brought out his own sandwich and ate it in awkward silence. Logan seemed so focused on his paper that he wasn’t saying a word, and trying to spark conversation with him when he was like this was next to impossible. He felt like he was intruding by sitting next to Logan, the air feeling thick for a reason Roman couldn’t quite place. Once he finished his sandwich, Roman had enough.

“I think…” Roman said, “I’m going to sit…somewhere else.”

Logan didn’t react. “Alright.”

Roman stood up and awkwardly shuffled to an empty spot at a table on the other side of the cafeteria, placing down his lunch box and trying again. Well, he thought as he opened up a cheese stick wrapper, better get used to being alone, then.

“Hey, excuse me?”

Roman looked up at the voice while he was mid-bite. It was the same kid who scolded Mitchell back in his English class, tired circles under their eyes and a gray sweater on despite it being August. Though, Roman had been freezing in most of his classes today, so maybe this person had the right idea.

“Oh- I’m sorry, were you sitting here?” Roman asked.

“No, you’re fine, I just…” The kid looked side to side anxiously. “…Mind if I sit with you?”

“…Oh! No, I don’t mind at all.”

The kid smiled and set their lunchtray across from Roman. “Thanks. I’m Elliott by the way, they/them pronouns.”

Roman’s brain took a minute to process what they meant. “Uh, hello! I’m Roman…he/him?”

Elliott seemed to get happier when he said that. “Nice to meet you. How’s your first day been so far? Besides for you-know-who this morning.”

Roman laughed. “Well, aside from that uncalled for mess, it’s been quite normal. I got lost a few times, but that’s not new for me. My teachers seem quite alright so far.”

“That’s good to hear. We have a lot of good teachers, I think, unless they teach calculus, then they have some serious issues. But so long as you don’t act like an idiot it’s easy to get past those teachers.”

“I’ll keep that in mind! Hopefully I stay on this hot streak, though.” Roman took out a water bottle from his lunch and started to drink it. “But it’s the students I’m more worried about. They all seem so off on their own. Or just outright rude like that guy this morning.”

Elliott groaned, leaning his head on his hand and slouching. “I’m really sorry about him. He can be a huge jerk for no reason. I think he’s just itching for a fight.”

“You seem to know him quite well. Old friend or something?” Roman asked.

Elliott groaned again. “…He’s my ex.”

“…No offense to your type or anything, but…ew.”

“Oh no, yeah, dating him was definitely an ew,” Elliot sighed. “We broke up like, four times in the span of a year and a half. It was a mess. Eventually, over the summer I broke up with him for good. I think he’s still upset about that and taking it out on the first easy target he finds. That, and he’s a jerk.”

“Well, he’ll soon learn I’m not one to be described as an easy target.” Roman gave a cocky smile and posed.

The bell sounded off again, and all the students stood up from their tables and started to swarm the trash cans and cafeteria exits. Roman and Elliott gave each other a look as they also stood up.

“So…what class do you have next?” Elliott asked nervously.

“Let’s see…” Roman pulled out the schedule from his pocket and looked at it. “Advanced biology with Mr. Weber.”

Elliott’s eyes lit up. “Me too! Uh…wanna walk together then? I can show you where it is.”

Roman smiled. “Of course!”

The two kids headed down the stairs, talking more and laughing long after they sat down in the class and the bell rang. Roman continued to whisper to Elliott during class until the teacher gave them both a warning glance, shutting their mouths but smiling at each other.

Even as Roman tried to pay attention, he felt a weight lift from his chest.

He’d obtained a friend after all!

***

The entire bus drive home, Roman spent it texting Elliott’s number that they’d given him right after biology ended. He talked about his last two classes and listened to Elliott ramble about his bad luck with classmates this year, grinning to himself with his eyes glued to his screen until his stop came. Virgil banged his fist on Roman’s seat to get his attention, making him jump and stand up to get off with Virgil and Logan.

During the walk home, no one said anything. Roman was off in his own world and Virgil just looked tired, with Logan staring intently at his own shoes as he walked. Virgil unlocked the door for them all to come inside, and they all branched off into their different directions. Virgil got a snack from the kitchen while Roman and Logan ran up to their rooms.

Roman spent a lot of his time in his room now that he’d gotten the curtains around his bed. Lying there was a lot softer than hiding on the bathroom floor with his legs propped up, and Roman was still confused as to how he managed to get away with installing this. He’d have to make sure Patton never entered his room again in case he planned to rip the curtains off their hooks.

He’d have to make a plan to effectively keep him out.

But for now, Roman actually needed to talk to Patton as soon as possible. He needed to ask for gym clothes, since that was the only thing Roman still needed to get for class, and he wanted to get it over with so Roman wouldn’t need to keep worrying about it. He was almost certain Patton had come home half an hour ago, but Roman just ignored him and stayed in his room. But he had to take advantage of the fact that he was remembering to ask for the clothes, so there was no time like the present to go find him.

Roman hopped out of bed and exited his room, making his way downstairs to the living room. He figured Patton would be either watching TV or doing something in the kitchen, but when Roman looked around, he didn’t see him anywhere. Virgil was sprawled across the couch on his phone, but no one else was around. Roman put his hands on his hips.

“Where’s Patton?” He asked Virgil.

Virgil didn’t look up. “Upstairs. In his room I think.”

Roman groaned and stomped back upstairs. He hated going into an adult’s room, so he instead opened the door and poked his head in so he wouldn’t have to step inside. But before he could get a word out to Patton, Roman stopped himself.

Patton was sitting on his bed with the lights dimmed, his back resting in the headboard, but what shocked Roman was that Logan was there also. He had his face hidden in Patton’s neck as Patton rubbed his back and played with his hair, holding him tight to his chest while Logan sniffled. Roman had never seen Logan emote before, so watching him cry was…disturbing. Roman wanted to run over and rip Logan from Patton to protect him.

Patton looked at Roman in the doorway and smiled. “You gotta remember to knock before entering, kiddo. What do you need?”

Roman forgot the main reason he came here. “Is Logan okay?”

Patton looked down at Logan and whispered something in his ear. Whatever Patton said, Logan agreed with a quiet nod of his head. Patton rubbed at Logan’s neck in a way that made Roman’s skin crawl as Patton began to speak. “He’ll be okay, kiddo. He’s just a little overwhelmed from school today. Do you need anything?”

Roman took a step inside Patton’s bedroom. It made his whole body shift into fight or flight, but he couldn’t leave Logan alone with him in good conscience. “I just wanted to say I need to buy gym clothes by next Wednesday. I’m in a strength training class this semester.”

Patton smiled. “That’s fine, we can go shopping this weekend.”

Roman looked down at the floor. “Well…I was more thinking, like…I go into the store while you wait in the car.”

Patton raised an eyebrow at him. “I need to buy the clothes, kiddo.”

“You can just give me the money. I’ll stay within the budget and give you any left over, so…please?”

Patton’s face dropped a little, but he didn’t get angry, so Roman considered that a win. “Sure, kiddo. We’ll do that Sunday.”

Even after the conversation seemed to end, Roman still stood near the door, shifting on his feet awkwardly. Patton shifted his eyes between Logan and Roman as if he was analyzing both of their mental states, but Roman’s throat felt stuck as he tried to bring out the words he wanted to say. He was so scared, but he couldn’t force himself to ask the question he knew he needed to ask now. Yet his feet refused to make a run for it out the door despite his fear.

“Do you need something else, kiddo?” Patton lightly prompted. Roman attempted to swallow the rock he felt in his throat.

“Can I…Can I stay with you and Logan?” He hated it, but he had to do it. He didn’t know what Patton would try when Logan was vulnerable.

Patton looked down at Logan, and Logan nodded. Patton turned to smile again. “You can if you want, Logan doesn’t mind.”

Roman carefully walked to the other side of the bed, sitting as far as possible from Patton but keeping his eyes glued to Logan. He knew he wasn’t helping much, not saying a word and not even being close, but it was something Roman had to do. Just because him and Logan weren’t close didn’t mean he’d leave him in danger. Even if Roman felt stuck in his head and couldn’t find the power to move his arms.

Roman sat there for a while, watching Logan’s chest rise as Patton rubbed his back. It felt like ages before Logan’s chest slowed and he fell asleep on top of Patton, somehow not caring at all about being asleep in Patton’s presence. Roman’s heart ached for him. He was too trusting and innocent for his own good.

“I gotta do some chores,” Patton whispered, “So I’m gonna tuck him in and let him nap. Do you still wanna stay with him?”

Roman nodded, not being able to get the words out himself. He felt stuck as Patton lifted Logan up gently, petting his hair to soothe him when he stirred. Roman helped by tugging the covers back from his end of the bed so that Patton could tuck him in and let go of him sooner, his hand on the back of Logan’s leg making Roman anxious. Patton tucked Logan under the covers and watched his reaction. After a few seconds, Patton grabbed a squishy stuffed frog from his bedside table, handing it to Logan who curled around it in his sleep. It’d be cute if Roman wasn’t so worried.

“Tell me if anything happens, okay kiddo?” Patton said right as he was halfway out the bedroom door. Roman nodded, only finally relaxing after Patton left and slowly closed the door.

Roman immediately ran over to lock it. He didn’t have his security bar, but this would be good enough. Hopefully Patton wouldn’t test anything when he knew Roman would be by Logan’s side.

Despite all of Roman’s worries, Logan slept peacefully on the bed. He didn’t shift or seem distressed at all, just snuggling closer to Patton’s stuffed frog and resting. Logan was calm.

Roman sat on the floor to block the door and watched to make sure no one took that away from him.

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shade-romeo · 3 years

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Thinking about Logan and Roman being like roommates in college or something and having a school wide rivalry, which everyone knows about and everyone assumes they hate each other which is a fair assumption considering they act like they hate each other on campus for the laughs. But in actuality they're like bffs and know literally everything about each other they are the bestest friends ever.

And idk maybe something happens, Roman gets humiliated in front of the whole school and he runs off, and Logan is worried out of his mind, but he has to come up with an excuse to his school besties Virgil and Patton who are not in on the little act, so he goes like "Haha I better go calm that loser down lmao don't want him to be sobbing all night so I can't sleep haha" and obv Patton is like "wel damn thats rude" but it's convincing enough that he can run off and make sure Roman is okay and also still keep the act up.

And also maybe at one point they have an actual huge fight. And for a while their whole act isn't an act anymore, and all of a sudden they get so much meaner, bc they aren't afraid to hit each other where it hurts anymore. And maybe this lasts for a day or two before one of them goes too far and they make up back in their dorm and then they go right back to just silly like playground jabs. Like "lol smart-ass bitch /j" "haha dumb loser /j" like yknow

Jus.... ♡ platonic logince is really good.

#platonic logince #roman sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides au #logan sanders #roman angst #logince angst #logan angst #virgil sanders mention #patton sanders mention

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vash-the-trans-catboy · 3 years

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Roman: *trips over a shoe*

Logan: Roman, why is there a sign on that shoe that says ‘warning murderous shoe’?

Roman: IT TRIED TO KILL ME

#platonic logince #sanders sides #thomas sanders #logic sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #princy sanders #tw caps #tss incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes sanders sides #sanders sides incorrect quotes #tw murder mention #thegayemo original post

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im-an-anxious-wreck · 3 years

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Fuzzy Logic

AO3 link

Summary: Fuzzy logic: It is employed to handle the concept of partial truth, where the truth value may range between completely true and completely false.

Fuzzy logic is based on the observation that people make decisions based on imprecise and non-numerical information. ~Wikipedia

Logan has been Logic for as long as he can remember, and was even before his active memory starts.

But Logic… Logic is becoming fuzzy. He feels… ah, that's the problem, isn't it? He feels.

The lines between who he needs to be, and who he wants to be blur, leaving him alone, angry, and afraid.

If only he could just do away with all of these pesky and unwanted emotions, he'd finally be what everyone wants him to be.

But even if he could, would they finally accept him? Or would they not care and leave him to fade into the background?

Warnings: Logan has unhealthy ideas about emotions, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, cursing, Remus makes a few poop jokes, it starts back in the past but soon jumps back to the present

Perspective/main character: Logan

Side/secondary characters: Janus, Roman

Appear: Patton, Virgil, Remus

Mentioned: Thomas

Romantic relationship: Logince

Platonic relationships: Loceit, background LAMP, eventual DRLAMP

Word Count: 11,520

Link to my collection of TSS fanworks

Creativity had been so mean to Logic today and Logic just couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why.

Sometimes he'd be almost nice to Logic, but then other times… like today, he'd say such just truly awful things.

Perhaps Logic kept accidentally doing something to upset Creativity, but if he didn't even realise that he did it, or what he was doing wrong, then how could he even fix it?

Why didn't Creativity like Logic anymore? Why was he acting this way?

Logic finally stopped walking when he was in a hallway far away from where the others were, and sunk down, arms wrapped around his legs as he pulled them to his chest.

Stupid flip-flopping Creativity. Stupid Kindness just pretending that it was okay and nothing was wrong. Stupid Lies for saying that Creativity didn't mean it, he obviously did.

Actually, the only person who Logic wasn't mad at in some way, was Fear. He was the only other person who would even acknowledge that something was up with Creativity. And while Logic knew that Kindness and Lies also knew something was amiss, they just didn't let Logic in on it.

Just because Kindness and Lies were older than the other sides didn't mean they could just keep them in the dark. What if Logic could help? He was pretty good at problem-solving and thinking of things other people hadn't.

If only they'd let him help. Then maybe Creativity wouldn't hate him… then again maybe it really was something Logic had done. Maybe this was all his fault.

Tears began to run down Logic's face as he sniffed quietly. At least he was still pretty good at crying quietly. He was always too emotional, and Creativity was right, he really needed to toughen up. His tears ran faster.

"Hello, little Logic." Lies seemed to appear out of nowhere and crouched down next to the quietly sobbing and hiccuping Logic, startling him out of his thoughts. "Why are you crying?"

"None of y— your bis— business."

"Ohh, I see. Well, in that case, can you tell me a reason why you aren't crying?"

"Wh— what?" Logic glared at Lies. "That does— doesn't even make s— sense."

"Like, you aren't crying because your hoodie is blue."

"What? Of c— course 'm not. Your mind t— tricks won't w— work on me!"

"I… I don't think I'm quite explaining this right… I meant, if you don't want to tell me why you're crying, just tell me something, like a fact or what not."

Logic's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why?"

"To distract you."

Logic frowned. "Don't l— lie to me.

"No, little lamb. That's actually why. I'm trying to distract you to cheer you up. I wasn't lying. You like it when people are straightforward, right?"

"...Yeah. Least then n— no one can pretend to be my friend."

"Ah, I see."

"What…" Logic looked at Lies and tilted his head. "What do you see?"

"Mm? Oh, it's an expression, means I understand. I can follow your line of logic, little Logic."

" 'M not very good at bein' Logic though."

"Hmm, well, I think you're doing a good job. Besides, it takes time to learn and grow, and even then people still make mistakes."

"Even… even you and Morality?"

"Even me and Morality."

"Actually it's Morality and I…" Logic couldn't help but wince at his correction. People didn't like to be corrected. Creativity especially never liked to be told he was wrong, in any capacity. Even when Logic was just trying to help.

But Lies just lightly chuckled. "You're right, so it is. Thank you for correcting me… Oh! Little lamb, why are you crying again?"

"S— sorry!" Logic furiously wiped underneath his eyes. "I guess 'm just not used to people thanking me for correcting them. I didn't mean to make a big deal out of it though! I… I apologize for crying."

"Oh, no, little one. You don't need to apologize! Especially not for crying."

"But… 'm not supposed to have feelings. Creativity said I didn't. And he's right, I… I don't."

Lies frowned. "Oh, is that what he said?"

"Yeah. Said I couldn't possibly care about him or any— anyone 'cause I don't have feelings so he's not m— my friend."

"Oh, my dear. I'm so sorry he said that to you. That wasn't okay. I'll have a talk with him later."

"You… you will?"

"Of course. Just because you sometimes struggle with processing and showing your emotions doesn't mean that you don't have them."

"I… oh."

"He's been acting up quite a bit lately… well, more than usual. But still… I hope he's doing alright."

"Maybe when you talk to him, you can ask if something's wrong and if you can help."

"Mm, that's a good idea. Thank you, little Logic.

"I'm not little…"

"No, I suppose you're not. I'll stop calling you that then."

"No! I mean, I didn't say you had to stop… not that I want you to call me that! ...Necessarily. But like, if you wanted to… I guess that'd… that'd be okay or whatever."

"Alright, thank you for telling me, little Logic. Now, I have a very important question for you…"

Logic straightened his posture. "Yes? How can I help?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like a hug."

"O— oh, um… do you want to give me a hug? I— I can even do a chore for you to make up for it!"

Lies' eyebrows knit together over his concerned eyes. "What? Make up for what?"

"Having to hug me, of course. I know it's not easy to listen to my annoying voice, let alone having to touch me… but I— I can be useful, if you let me."

"Oh! No, that's not… Logic, you don't need to make up for or earn physical contact. I'm offering because I want to. Not because I want you to owe me!"

"Oh… really?"

"Yes, really."

"But… I— I still could. To make it worth your time."

Why did Lies look so sad? "You don't need to make it worth my time. You're already worth my time, little bear. Have you ever heard of intrinsic value?"

"Intrinsic value?" Logic felt his glasses slide up his face as he scrunched up his nose. "I don't think so, what's that?"

"Well, intrinsic means belonging to a thing by its very nature; and I presume you know what value is?" At Logic's nod, Lies continued, "So when I say you have intrinsic value, I mean you have value just for existing. You have worth just for being you."

"Oh… I didn't know that."

Lies didn't reply to that, he just hummed and looked down at Logic. "Do you still want a hug?"

"I… if you want to…"

"I do, or I wouldn't have asked."

"Well, in that case, I— yes please."

Lies gently wrapped his arms around Logic, the touch heavy and burning, but nonetheless comforting. Tears prickled at his eyes again as he rubbed his nose on Lies' shoulder.

Logic decided that he liked hugs. Maybe, if he was good enough, Lies would give him another one someday.

Logic shut his eyes and just focused on the feeling of Lies arms around him, and the scent of lavender that seemed to all but cling to Lies clothing.

The comforting smell and touch faded as a feeling of familiarity washed over him. Hadn't this already happened befor—

Logan's eyes snapped open, body still except for the rise and fall of his chest. He was… ah, in his bed, because it'd been a dream. Just a dream.

In fact, it'd been his first memory, well, the first memory he could remember… it'd been quite some time since he'd dreamed about it again.

He had really liked to be by Lie— Janus' side, at least until the two splits, first of creativity, then of 'light sides' and 'dark sides'.

It was at times like this that Logan couldn't help but wonder how differently things would've been if he'd gone with Janus, Virgil, and Remus when the Mindscape split.

Ultimately he hadn't gone. He couldn't even really remember why. But it didn't really matter, because when it came down to it, he hadn't gone.

Recently, the 'dark sides' had been slowly, but surely being accepted back into the main Mindscape, and it brought up some rather painful memories. Even if they hadn't been painful at the time.

No, the pain came later, soured by harsh words and nights spent cold and alone.

Old all but forgotten memories and feelings clawed at Logan's throat. It hurt, everything hurt, emotions figuratively swirling around in his chest.

But it was fine because today… today was the day.

Logan allowed himself a small smile as he got out of bed to get dressed for the day.

He'd finally found the switchboard for his emotions. After searching for months, he'd finally, finally found it hiding amongst the multicoloured memory strings.

Logan opened the door to his memory room, only stopping for a moment to admire all the different colours.

He had to be very careful as he weaved his way through them. They weren't as thin as normal strings, instead being more so that of violin strings, but still, one wrong misstep, one stumble could do irreparable damage and break a string, causing the memory to be lost forever.

He'd actually discovered the switchboard the evening before, but had been summoned by Thomas before he could get a proper look at it. And after that, he hadn't really wanted to make the rather nerve-wracking trek among the strings again just yet. Plus, a good night's rest beforehand had seemed like a good idea.

Of course, that dream had made him feel— no. He wasn't going to think about that right now. Besides, he was fixing the problem.

He didn't need to worry about old feelings if he didn't have feelings.

He'd always claimed he didn't feel, but now… now he could actually make it true.

Logan gently stepped around a few more memory strings and found himself in the small open space between the strings he'd discovered the day before.

In the middle was a metal panel held up by nothing, and was at a bit of an angle and floating at about elbow level. Perfect for user interaction, Logan noted.

Along the panel, there were eight switches, their design that of common light switches, and under each one was a label. Happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, fear, emotional attachment, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction.

The sexual attraction switch had been broken off and was stuck in the off position. Huh, that explained quite a lot.

Well, Logan certainly didn't need sadness or jealousy, so he flipped them off, making a strange coldness run through his chest.

Why had he ever felt jealous of the others freely expressing their emotions? Ah, it was working. Good.

The strings around him shifted, little bits of green and larger bits of blue fading to white.

Rather interesting how the mind could associate different emotions with certain colours. Although, as he thought about it, he was pretty sure he'd started associating emotions with colours when Roman had made him watch Inside Out on three separate occasions in the same week.

Happiness and romantic attraction weren't necessary, the smallest bit of yellow and a lot of darkish pink fading. That… that had been a lot of pink.

Logan… Logan hadn't been in love… right? He… he definitely would've known… probably.

Well, no use dwelling on it.

Let's see… emotional attachment? That was unnecessary, he could work alongside his fellow sides without being attached to them. They really were more like coworkers than friends, and especially in comparison to family.

The floor started to tilt a bit. Perhaps he'd switched them off a bit too quickly.

Logan was… pretty good at handling his anger. Well, not really, but with the other emotions out of the way, it would most likely be easier to manage. Besides, with how efficient he would be, he'd have more time to work on things like that.

That just left fear.

Although, perhaps he should leave fear on as well. Thomas had been quite reckless without anxiety, and who's to say that Logan wouldn't act similarly.

Then again, wouldn't leaving any switches on defeat the purpose?

Well, he could do a test run, and if he needed to turn the rest off later, he could.

Plus, with how light-headed he was feeling at the moment, flipping any more switches right now didn't seem like a good idea.

Satisfied with his accomplishment, Logan sunk out in search of breakfast. Perhaps eating could, at least partly, help quell his dizziness.

The day had… not been going well.

He'd spilled coffee all over himself at breakfast, torn his favourite book,

He'd even yelled at Roman for setting down his cup too hard. If Roman wasn't such a good actor, Logan thought he might've cried, if they way Roman blinked rapidly and quickly changed the subject were anything to go by.

Controlling his anger had been a lot harder than he'd originally thought, but that had nothing on his fear.

He'd just been walking down the hallway when Virgil accidentally snuck up on him and absolutely terrified Logan. He had to retreat to his room for a few minutes to calm his fast breathing, racing heart, and uncontrollable shaking.

It was now late evening, everyone relaxing on the U-shaped couch after supper.

After Logan jumped at something on-screen for what must've been the eleventh time, Roman sighed.

"Logan, this isn't even a scary movie. What's got you so jumpy?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah," Virgil said. "We don't buy that for one minute."

"Why won't you tell us? Is it something we did? If you'll just tell us, we can fix it." At Patton's concerned, yet disappointed look, Logan's chest constricted with anxiety.

"It's nothing any of you have done. As I said, truly, nothing is wrong."

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "What, are you Janus now? You don't need to lie to us, Logan."

"Quite right, Nerdy Birdy. If you'll just tell us what's wr—

"I said nothing is wrong!" Logan exploded, anger bubbling up in his stomach to mix with the anxiety.

"Dude, what the fuck is up with you?" Virgil asked. "You've been angry and anxious all day! If something's up, let us know. We're here for you. Maybe we can help with whatever's going on, or at least just be there for you. Talking about it can really help more than you'd think."

"No, that's… that's alright. I'm fine. Nothing… nothing's wrong. Today was a fluke. Tomorrow will be better. I— excuse me." Logan stood up. "I think I'll retire early tonight. Good evening."

"...Sleep well, kiddo."

After Logan walked to the bottom of the stairs, he looked back to see a mix of concern and confusion on everyone's faces.

"Sweet dreams," Roman hesitantly said.

"I—" Virgil sighed. "I hope you feel better tomorrow, Lo."

"Thanks, I uh, I hope so too."

Logan looked down at his emotion switchboard.

He'd been so foolish.

What had he been thinking, leaving some emotions on? He couldn't be cold and calculating logic while all he'd been was angry and afraid.

Well, he'd tried his test run, and it hadn't worked. At least he could fix this mistake.

He flipped anger off and stumbled, only just able to catch himself on the panel as tears dripped down his cheeks. Oh, he was crying.

But wasn't sadness off? Ah, yes, It was. But then what— ah, fear. He was afraid.

Afraid of what? Everything? That didn't seem logical.

Maybe… maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Emotions, as painful as they could be, had helped him understand the others before.

He needed to consider how this might negatively affect his fellow sides.

But… they didn't care about his feelings, so why should he consider theirs.

A few more tears ran down.

They only cared when his knowledge was useful, when it aligned with what they were saying. Only if he could back them up, could 100% agree with them, would they even want him around.

His emotions were getting in the way of his usefulness. And if he wasn't useful… no one would want him. They'd made that abundantly clear.

The only person who'd ever actually loved to hear Logan talk, whose affection wasn't dependent on how useful he was, who'd actually cared about him… was Janus.

But after what Logan had said to him years prior, it's not like he could exactly go to him and beg for help.

Even just the thought of just how upset Janus' expression had been, sent fear through his chest and nausea through his stomach.

No, he couldn't ask that of Janus. He wouldn't. It wouldn't be fair, not after all Janus had done for him, only for him to throw it back in Janus' face.

He… he couldn't go back, not to all the painful emotions that threatened to overtake him at any moment. That kept him up late at night, constantly wondering why his best wasn't ever good enough.

He couldn't go back, so the only way left was to go forward.

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

He flipped the last switch off, standing to his full height, and admired the pure white strings around him. Objectively, they were quite aesthetically pleasing to look at.

He took a deep breath, the weight in his chest finally gone, as he wiped away the last few tears.

He hadn't quite expected numbness to be so… pleasant? He'd quite expected numbness to be nothing. But this… this was something else.

He just felt content. No worries, stress, or jealousy.

He felt just fine. He'd even go as far as to say he felt good.

He couldn't help but be curious as to how his fellow sides would react. They'd finally gotten what they wanted. He could be the cool and calm logic that didn't care if they disregarded his emotions, because he didn't have them anymore.

He could do his work more efficiently, and help the others when necessary.

He could finally become what he needed to be.

Logan rose up in the kitchen doorway just as Patton turned from where he had taken some bacon out of the oven.

"Oh, hey, Logan!"

"Good morning, Patton."

"Morning! You want some toast?"

"If you don't mind."

"Not at all! I'm already making some for everyone else. Oh, I already started the coffee by the way."

"I'm actually going to get some juice, but thank you."

"Oh… um, okay! That sounds like a good idea."

After he poured himself a mix of orange, apple, and cranberry juice, Logan sat at the dining room table, nodding to Virgil and Roman.

"Oh, shoot!" Patton exclaimed from the kitchen, turning to look at Logan over the open bar that divided the kitchen and dining room. "I'm afraid we ran out of Crofters. All we have is Smuckers."

"Alright, that's fine, Patton. Thank you for looking."

"So you just want it plain, right?" Patton asked as if the answer was obviously going to be yes.

"Oh, I meant Smuckers was fine. But you don't need to go to the extra trouble if you do not wish to."

"What." Roman looked at Logan incredulously. "What do you mean 'Smuckers is fine'??"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Dee. That's such a big mistake. How'd you even fuck up that bad?"

"I'm not Deceit."

"...Oh. I— but you… you're not?"

"I'm not."

"Okay, who broke Logan?"

Logan raised an eyebrow. "I am not broken, I just don't have a preference of what brand the jam is."

"I… okay. That's… weird but sure."

"We live in strange times indeed," Roman agreed.

After Patton finished laying the food out on the table they all began to eat.

Partway through the meal, Virgil turned to Logan and said, "Hey, I'm glad you're feeling better. You seemed a bit… stressed yesterday."

"Ah, yes, I was. Apologies. Fortunately, however, I am doing much better today."

"That's good to hear, kiddo. You wanna talk about what happened yesterday though? We should make sure that that doesn't happen again, or at least that you don't have to go through it alone."

"No, I don't particularly wish to talk about it. But for your curiosity's sake, I will say that I had made a mistake that left me angry and anxious. But you needn't worry about it happening again. I've resolved the issue."

"Oh… well, that's good. I'm glad you could fix the problem at least."

Logan nodded. "I am as well."

Having no emotions had greatly improved Logan's efficiency and he'd already finished the day's work, even going so far as to work on the next day's work. But he'd gotten stuck when his thinking had drifted to the darkish pink that had coloured part of his memory strings before he'd turned his emotions off.

If there was one thing the lack of emotions hadn't gotten rid of, it was his natural curiosity. And he was quite curious who he had been in love with.

Despite working on tomorrow's work early, he still wanted to get it done in a quick and efficient manner, and he couldn't do that if he was still thinking about who he'd had a romantic attraction towards. So the obvious answer was to, via process of elimination, think of who it had been. Then he wouldn't wonder anymore and could focus and finish his work.

He knew it wasn't Patton… or Janus for that matter, both for the same reason; Logan had seen them both as an almost… parental figure of sorts.

He'd rather enjoyed doing experiments with Remus in the Imagination, but they hadn't gotten all that close yet and besides, the idea of them dating just didn't sound quite right.

It also wasn't Virgil, Logan wasn't sure how he knew, but he did.

Which left… Roman. Ah, it had been Roman, hadn't it?

He supposed that made sense, Roman was charming and thoughtful… objectively speaking, of course.

Something flickered through Logan's chest, and he gasped as he put a hand there, clutching at his chest.

What was— no, it… it couldn't… he wouldn't let it.

Both emotional attachment and romantic attraction were trying to come online, but Logan had worked way too hard to just give up now.

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, pushing the feelings down with the exhale.

After a moment's pause, he reopened his eyes and firmly nodded once to himself.

There, issue solved. Now he could focus on his work again.

"Hey, Logie bugger bear!" Remus exclaimed as he rose up in Logan's room, startling Logan out of his thoughts.

Logan swung his office chair away from his desk where he had been unsuccessfully trying to work and looked at Remus. "That's not my name, but if you wish to use a frivolous nickname, it's no difference to me."

"...What? You don't even care?" Remus frowned. "You're supposed to blink in confusion, and I should see the system error in your eyes, and then you say something about how illogical the nickname is and how it doesn't even make sense, and that your name is Logan, not whatever weird shit that my brain came up with."

"Ah, yes. That is how I reacted in the past, but it actually doesn't bother me anymore."

Remus sat on Logan's bed, Logan turning with his chair to face him.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Remus asked with uncharacteristic seriousness.

"Why do you assume something's wrong?"

"Logan, I annoy people all the time so I have to know when I've gone too far."

"So?"

"So, I know when something's up. And something is definitely up with you. What's going on?"

"Oh, well, if you'd really like to know, I turned off my emotions for efficiency."

"You what!? Why?"

"Well…" Logan adjusted his glasses. "They were painful, becoming a problem, and interfering with my work, so I flipped them off."

"You… you just flipped off your emotions?"

"That is correct."

"Wow… I am definitely not the one who knows how the fuck to help, but like, is there something I can do to help you?"

"Ah, I appreciate the offer, but nothing comes to mind. However, if it's an open offer I can let you know if I do think of something."

"Oh, yeah. Just whenever. Oh, especially if you need drugs."

"Why… why would I need drugs?"

"I don't know, why do people need anything?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"Yep," Remus said, popping the 'p'. "Oh! I just remembered why I came here."

Logan folded his hands. "Ah, what can I help you with?"

"When are you gonna… wait, does no emotions mean you don't like Roman anymore?"

"Ah, I wasn't aware that you knew I was attracted to Roman, but you are correct. I turned off romantic attraction along with my other emotions."

"Oh… oh, shit. Well, this isn't right at all."

"What do you mean? I wasn't aware of any moral ramifications."

"No, not moral, plus you know I don't care about morals, unless it's to break them." Remus giggled before sobering up again. "But no, I mean you can't live like th— okay, well, actually I suppose you can live like this, but you really shouldn't! Like, just getting rid of all your emotions does technically help, I guess, but that's not really good for you. You… you should probably find better ways to deal with them. Keeping them inside isn't good, but just turning them off instead isn't the way to go about this."

"But why not?"

"Wh— why not? You— because, you like, need emotions to do the thing!"

"Do… the… thing? Remus, I don't know what you mean."

"Hmm… okay, like, what's something you think having no emotions can help you with?"

"Well, for one thing, I can be objective as there's no emotions to get in the way."

"Hmm, okay so like, objectivity is not really much good out of context. Like, there is so many ways that emotions can like, help with your thinking and make it make sense or whatever, you know?"

"I suppose that makes a bit of sense, but this is still the best option available to me at the moment."

"But how do you know it's the best when you don't have any emotions for context!?"

"That… I did make this decision before I took them away though... but then again, would I not also not be able to objectively know this was right because the emotions would get in the way of being objective? If I can't be objective to know if the emotions would get in the way, but I can't have the emotions on because then they mess with the objectivity, then how can I know which option is best?"

"Exactly! You just don't know."

Logan blinked in as much surprise as an emotionless person could. "What?"

"You're too deep in it to know one way or the other. You need other people to help. You need people like… like Janny to help you know what to do in this case. I really don't know what the fuck I'm saying." Remus huffed. "Janny would be so much better at this, damnit. Oh, hey! That's a good idea. Can I summon him and tell him what a bad decision you made?"

"I don't know why you asked, you're usually more impulsive, but it's still appreciated. You may summon him if you would like."

"Well, it is your room. Anyway, Janny! Get your snitties and snake butt… snutt, if you will, in here!"

Janus rose up in the middle of the room, a half-annoyed, half-amused look on his face. "Yes? Oh, hello, Logan."

"Greetings." Logan turned his chair in between Janus and Remus so he could look at both of them as necessary. "Remus seems to think there's an issue."

Janus turned to Remus. "Oh?"

"Well, Logan turned off his emotions and is trying to be a robot! And not just like he's not expressing them as much, but like, he literally turned them off. Do you see what might be 'oof, Logan, noooo' about that?"

Janus raised his eyebrows. "He what?" Janus squinted at Logan. "You what?!"

"I don't understand why it's a big deal." Logan adjusted his glasses. "But yes, I turned off my emotions. They were hurting me and preventing me from doing my job from the detached and logical standpoint that it requires… that I require, for that matter."

"Oh, Logan." Janus furrowed his eyebrows. "I really have fallen down on my job, huh?"

"Wha—"

"Do you got this?" Remus interrupted Logan. "I'm supposed to go bother Patty poop right now, but I can stay if ya need me to."

"If Logan doesn't mind, then I don't either."

"Not at all. As long as you don't disturb my work, you're free to come and go as you please."

"Wait, really? You don't mind if I come around more?"

"I don't mind. The offer had been open for some time, but I apparently hadn't made that clear to you. Apologies."

"Oh, I— okay. Well, I'll come bother you later then. Yeah, okay then. Thanks, and uh, see you later."

Janus waved as Remus sunk out.

"What did you mean when you said that you've been falling down on your job?" Logan asked as soon as Remus had disappeared.

"Well, it couldn't be that it's my job to take care of everyone. I'm Thomas' self-care, and that includes all of his sides."

"Oh… I do not think you 'fell down' on your job. You can't help people unless they let you."

"Mm… but what about now? Would you let me help you now?"

"I… do not think I need help, but if you want to and can prove that I do need it, then yes. I will let you help me."

Janus sighed in —what Logan hoped was— relief.

"Alright, that I can do… hmm, do you remember the time leading up to when you turned them off? Do you remember how you were feeling, or at least what you were thinking?"

"Of course. I have an excellent memory. I had been feeling alone and emotionally tired for a very long time, but I realised that if I could turn off my emotions then I wouldn't have to deal with that. Plus, now I won't be angry at anyone, I won't be sad or upset. I have no fear or worries. I just am. I can finally think objectively and with so much more mental clarity than ever. The emotions were hindering me from doing what I had to."

"Your emotions weren't hindering you, however, not being able to process and work through your feelings was. I know you've always struggled with identifying and processing your emotions, but there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with letting other people be there for you. There's nothing wrong with you, Logan.

"You've convinced yourself that your emotions are needless and just get in the way but, Logan, they are a part of you. They greatly affect your worldview. And yes, it may really suck to have to deal with emotions sometimes, but you can't have the good without the bad.

"You don't need to be perfect, Logan. You have intrinsic value, remember?"

Logan's face had become almost ashen with Janus' words, but he still managed to shakily nod.

"Good, because you do have value, and it's not because of what you can do and what you've done. It's because of who you are. I care about you because you're you, not just when you do your job. You're enough, just you, emotions and all. You're enough."

"Oh… I— I think my e— emotions are trying t— to come back." Logan felt a tear roll down his cheek.

Janus kneeled in front of Logan. "It's alright. Let them come back. I'll be here to help you with them, I promise."

Logan sniffed, trying and failing to hold back his tears.

"I wasn't here for you before," Janus continued, setting a hand on Logan's knee. "But I am now and will continue to be. You don't have to go through this alone, Logan."

"Okay," Logan whispered. "I— okay, if you're s— sure, then… okay."

"Of course I'm sure. You just let it out, I'm right here." Janus opened his arms as Logan all but collapsed into them, sobbing uncontrollably.

A little pang of shame shot through Logan's chest, but it quickly faded.

Janus seemed to, for better or worse, actually want to help Logan process his emotions, he actually cared about Logan. Not just what Logan could do for him, but for just existing.

It was a vaguely familiar concept, but after the burden that Logan had been shouldering, it was a very welcome one.

Janus carefully stood up and helped Logan, who was still clutching onto Janus like a lifeline, to his bed. He took off Logan's glasses, setting them on the nightstand before pulling back the covers and tucked them both in.

After Janus got them situated, he began to run his fingers through Logan's hair, making him all but melt into the touch.

"You know I— I don't think that… that it actually took them… um, my emotions away," Logan said, voice only just above a whisper, and tone almost confession-like. "It just suppressed them. When they came back it felt rather like the figurative dam broke. I think… I think the switchboard is gone, which is… probably for the best. Especially if I f— feel bad and would be tempted to at least flip a few off. But it's gone… and that's good. It— it is."

"Yes, it really is." Janus pushed back some of Logan's hair that was getting in his eyes. "It's for the best. It may take some time to fully understand that, and it may be difficult, but you're not alone. You have all of us to help you through it."

"Thank you," Logan murmured.

"And thank you for letting me help you." Janus gently pulled Logan closer as they fell into a comfortable silence.

Drowsiness clung to Logan's mind but he didn't fight it. He knew Janus was there and would continue to be there to help Logan in the future. He didn't need to fight this or anything alone because he wasn't alone anymore. He could actually ask for help now.

The last thing Logan remembered as he drifted off to sleep, was the sound of gentle humming and a soft warmth surrounding him.

Logan really didn't feel ready for this conversation, but highly doubted that having more time to dwell on it would make him feel any better.

Waiting actually seemed to be making it worse. He'd only been awake for a few hours, but the further into the day it got, the more anxious he became. He'd even taken up pacing across his room in an attempt to calm himself down.

That morning Janus had suggested that this conversation would be a good idea, but had also suggested that it could, and maybe should be after a few days. Logan had only just gotten his emotions back the evening before, after all.

But Logan had said that the longer he waited, the more antsy he'd get, and he was certainly correct, all but figuratively bouncing out of his skin.

Ugh, why did he even need to discuss his emotions with Roman, Patton, and Virgil again?

No, he shouldn't think like that. He knew why, it was important. They needed to know what was bothering him and how to help if they wanted to. Janus had helped him understand that, even if it was hard to remember.

This wasn't just his burden anymore, but it wouldn't be a burden to them if they chose to take it, or if they didn't want to, for that matter.

It was almost hard to believe that they might actually want to help him, but of course, he really shouldn't be getting his hopes up. If they wanted to, then good, but if not… it wouldn't be pleasant, but it'd be their choice.

It would be their choice if he was allowed to express his emotions. Of course, it would make it difficult if they didn't all pick the same thing, but it could be done. He just wouldn't express any emotions around whoever didn't want him to, and if anyone was alright with him occasionally showing them then he could when it was just them.

He couldn't help but wish that at least one of them would be alright with it, hope figuratively clawing at his throat despite his efforts.

Patton probably would, at least the happy ones. He tended to push down his own negative ones so Logan supposed it would make sense if Patton wouldn't want Logan to show sadness, anger, or jealousy.

Virgil might be alright if Logan was a bit anxious, but then again, Virgil was already anxious enough without having to deal with Logan's as well. But, he hadn't reacted negatively to Logan expressing a bit of happiness in the past, so perhaps he'd also be alright with Logan being at least a bit happy.

But Roman… Logan had no idea where Roman would figuratively stand in the matter. He had been a bit nicer lately, although Logan had mistaken it for mocking, but looking back, it was most likely supposed to be teasing and playful banter. Logan always had a bit of trouble telling those apart.

He knew Janus —at least seemed to be— more than alright with Logan expressing emotions with him, but they were as close as they'd once been, and certainly not as close as Logan was with Roman, Patton, and Virgil.

Logan was pretty sure that Remus would be absolutely thrilled if he showed emotions of any variety, and would probably encourage them, especially if that meant he thought he had a chance to make Logan angry now. Not that Logan would let him… well, again anyway.

So, best-case scenario, they let him express any happy feeling, and he could occasionally be sad with Janus, anxious with Virgil, and angry around Remus.

Worse case… they'd be disgusted by his request and with him, so he'd be alone again.

Logan did his best to repress a shudder.

He really hoped it wouldn't turn out that bad, but if it did, he needed to be prepared. After his emotions came back it was more difficult to suppress his emotions, and especially his tears, so he was really hoping to get through this conversation without crying.

Logan finally stopped pacing to stand by his desk and sighed. Janus was supposed to be getting the others together in the living so Logan could talk to them, but it seemed to be taking longer than he thought it would. Perhaps Janus knew Logan needed a moment to get his thoughts in order, or perhaps it just took a bit of time.

Logan was just about to heavily consider just rising up to see what was taking so long when Janus finally rose up.

"They're in the living room. Do you want me to be there? If not, don't hesitate to summon me if you need anything."

"I… this is— thank you, but you needn't concern yourself with…" Logan cleared his throat. "I mean, you don't have to be there, if… um…"

Janus hummed. "You're welcome, but are you sure? I don't mind going, even just for emotional support… which, incidentally, is what this conversation is supposed to be about."

"I… it might be… nice, yes. But the question we should actually be asking is, do you want to go?"

"I… perhaps, and besides, since Remus invited himself, it'd be rude..."

"For you not to be invited?"

Janus gave a small laugh. "I meant it'd be rude for me to not at least babysit him, but that works as well. And I must say, I'm rather curious as to how it goes."

"Ah, well, if you wish to come with me, then please do. It would be a bit… comforting to have you there."

"Alright. Oh, and, if you don't feel too tired afterwards, are we still going to have our typical Tuesday tea?"

"Of course. Is there something you'll want to discuss in particular?"

"Yes, if it goes well, I'd like to talk about Roman."

"Roman?"

"And more specifically… your feelings for him."

"Ah, very well. We'll meet in the library when we're done then."

"Good, and… good luck."

Logan nodded once before they both sunk out and rose up in the living room.

…

"Logie bugger bear!" Remus exclaimed from where he was sitting on the coffee table next to Virgil.

"That is… both endearing and disgusting."

"Thank you! That's what I was going for." Remus happily wiggled in place. "That's a much better reaction to it than last time."

Logan rolled his eyes as he sat down next to Roman, Janus sitting beside Patton.

Patton said something to Janus but Logan didn't quite catch it as Roman said, "So, what's this about? Janus was frustratingly vague as usual."

"You'll find out when I tell everyone."

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "Damn, Jan's rubbing off on you."

"As if you didn't steal your eyebrow raise from Jan-Dee-Lyin'," Roman sassed.

Virgil choked out a laugh. "Okay fair, but that nickname. Shit, Princey, I think that's your most clever so far." He repressed more laughter. "How'd you even know his hair poofs up when he sleeps? Like when he first wakes up and hasn't combed his hair, he looks like a little puffball."

"Oh my Zeus, does it really? I didn't know that! That was just luck on my part."

Janus looked over from where he'd been chatting with Patton and attempted to frown, but a small smile was gently tugging at his lips despite his efforts. "Puffball? Y'all better not be talking about me."

"What? Us? Talking about you? No! That's… that's our least favourite thing to do," Virgil joked.

"Uh-huh… I definitely believe you."

"If it was socially acceptable, I'd eat dirt!" Remus declared out of the blue.

"Wha— Since when do you care about what's socially acceptable?" Roman asked incredulously.

Virgil scoffed. "He doesn't, and besides, I have literally seen him eat dirt before."

"Hey!" Remus exclaimed. "That's not fair. You eat worms in yours!"

"No! No, that's not the same thing!"

Patton blinked in surprise. "I'm sorry, you've eaten WHAT?!"

"No! Dammit, Remus." Virgil turned back to Patton. "Re means I eat dirt and worms like the dessert."

Roman giggled, having caught on. "You eat dirt and worms for dessert? Ew."

"No! No! That's not what I said. I mean chocolate pudding, crushed Oreos, and gummy worms."

"But where is the dirt and worms in that recipe?" Logan jokingly asked.

"...You gays are insufferable, you know that?"

Everyone laughed, Remus downright cackling.

It took a moment for everyone to calm down, but when they finally did, Janus asked, "Oh, Logan, wasn't there a reason for us all being here?"

"Ah, yes, there was. Thank you for the reminder, Janus." Logan adjusted his glasses in an attempt to stall for a moment. "Well, I thought it might be… important to have a conversation about… my emotions."

"Or lack thereof," Roman muttered.

Janus made to disagree but Remus was faster, smacking the back of Roman's head as he said, "You fuckwad. Logan definitely does have emotions and you saying he doesn't is part of the problem!"

"Oh, sorry."

Remus nodded once seriously. "Okay… Logan, you may continue."

"I— thank you. Um, as I was saying… it has come to my attention," —Logan glanced at Janus and Remus— "That I haven't been handling my emotions in a healthy way. I had… well, does everyone remember the day before yesterday when I was quite angry and anxious, and then was numb yesterday?"

At everyone's nod Logan continued, "Well, that was because, in an attempt to be truly emotionless, I literally turned off my emotions. I had left anger and fear on and quickly realised that wasn't working out, so I turned them off as well. Remus and Janus talked to me about how having turned off all my emotions wasn't a good idea and was, in fact, harmful. I now have all my emotions again and so I would like to apologize for any trouble I've caused."

"Awww, Logan!" Patton exclaimed. "You haven't caused any trouble and you don't have anything to apologize for! If anyone should be apologising it's us. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and that we weren't here for you like you clearly needed. We noticed that something was up, but we really should've tried to help you more!"

"It's alright, Patton. Everyone did the best they knew how, and besides, you can't help someone who doesn't want help. Everyone tried their best to assist me in whatever way they could but I didn't let you. That's not your fault. I truly don't think that I would've accepted help from any of you three at the time."

Janus hummed in agreement. "You three, through no fault of your own, were just a little too close to the issue, so Remus and I —the outsiders, if you will— were able to get through to him as we were removed from the issue enough to help him look at this more objectively. It wasn't necessarily anything you three did wrong, but rather the outside view, combined with being there at the right place, and at the right time."

"I see…" Roman said. "Well, I'm glad that Remus and Janus were able to help you, even when we could not. I've been very unprincely and rude to you, and so for that, I want to apologize. I'm sorry for every hurt and sorrow I've caused you, for every sad thought and sleepless night, and for anything that I haven't even thought of. And I do hope you'll accept our apology, or if not, you'll at least give us a chance to do better in the future."

"Yeah, what everyone said," Virgil agreed. "We fucked up, but damn if we ain't gonna do our best to do better."

"Good, if that's the case, then I accept all three of your apologies, given that you three do make an effort not to always push my emotions aside."

"Of course!" Patton exclaimed. "We're gonna listen to you, like we should've been doing all along."

Roman nodded. "Yes, Patton's right. Not only shall we do better, but we shall also be better!"

"We're gonna look out for you, Logan," Virgil promised. "Like you always have been for us, even if we didn't always listen."

It didn't happen very often, but Logan was actually —figuratively— at a loss for words. They actually… they actually wanted to do better, and even if they needed a reminder sometimes, Logan knew that they actually meant it. They actually wanted to do better.

After realising that Remus had been suspiciously quiet for quite a while now, Logan looked over at him expecting to see chaos or something of the sort, but instead, he was looking very thoughtfully and serious, and occasionally would look at a person for a moment before nodding to himself once or twice. Logan didn't know what Remus was looking for in each person, but he seemed to be finding it as Roman, Patton, and Virgil were all approved.

Remus brightened up quicker than one could flip a light switch and clapped his hands together loudly. "Okay! That's that then. You're all forgiven, so you can stop looking like someone died now."

Virgil snorted. "Dude, you're the one that smells like it. Deal with your B.O. and then we'll talk."

"Well, at least I don't look like a raccoon!"

"Well, you look like a trash panda!"

"Thank you!"

Roman rolled his eyes. "Girls, girls, you're both pretty… Can I go home now?"

"Ah." Logan adjusted his glasses. "A Megamind reference, good choice."

It was quiet for a moment.

"...You know what, I really am glad y'all got your heads out of your asses!" Remus mused. "I was getting real tired of watching y'all just ignore Logan. Like yeah, at first I wanted to see how much it'd take for Logan to have an outburst, but he was just sad and depressed and that was depressing!"

Janus hummed. "I agree, it was difficult to watch the bright and easily excited Logan turn dull and boring." Janus' eyes darkened as he sent a pointed glare at Roman, Patton, and Virgil. "And if any of you ever, ever let that happen again… I can't even describe in words how badly I'll chew you up."

"Yeah! We're gonna eat you if you're mean to Logan!"

Virgil hid a snort behind a hoodie-paw.

"No." Janus sighed. "Remus, that's not what I meant."

"Aww," Remus pouted. "But cannibalism!"

"Remus, we've already talked about this."

Remus whined before sighing and slipping Logan a quick wink. "Yeah, I guess so. I just wanted a nibble though!"

"I— um…" Patton looked around confusedly and rather worriedly. "He's joking, right?"

Remus grinned maniacally as he turned his head at an unnatural angle to look at Patton. "Wouldn't you like to know, Goody-Two-Livers?" Remus' smile dropped. "But seriously, hurt Logan and we'll bust your kneecaps."

"Oh, that's a good song," Roman said. "But in all seriousness, I really hope it won't come to that. We're gonna make sure it won't come to that. Never again."

Logan felt his eyes figuratively soften. "I really appreciate that. All of you, really and truly, I appreciate your promises. Whether that's to do better or to make sure the others do better, thank you… ah, but perhaps let's not bust anyone's kneecaps in. I think telling them the issue and giving them a way to fix it would work much better."

"...You didn't say I couldn't eat them though!" Remus happily exclaimed.

Logan pursed his lips. "You may not eat anyone either."

"Damn. Not even a nibble?"

"Not even a nibble."

Virgil awkwardly cleared his throat. "Um, I know the three of us are going to work to do better, which we'll certainly want to talk more about later, make a game plan and all that, but… I was just wondering if you two," —Virgil glanced between Janus and Remus— "Have apologized to Logan too."

"Oh—"

Janus was cut off as Virgil rushed to continue, "I know we've been shitty and dismissive of Logan for much longer and worse, and you two haven't been as bad, especially because like, y'all have only recently been coming over more, and aren't— er, weren't? um, weren't as close to Logan… but I just thought that maybe… I mean—"

"No, you're correct, Virgil," Janus agreed.

Logan blinked in surprise. "I— well, Janus has not exactly apologised, but he has made a promise to do better going forward as well, and that's enough for me."

"I— no, Virgil's right. I need to swallow my pride and apologize. I've hurt you, granted unintentionally, but I've still caused you pain all the same." Janus looked into Logan's eyes, an unusually open expression on his face. "So for that, I am truly sorry and have every confidence and intention to make amends and do better, be better for you."

"Oh… I—" Logan blinked rapidly a few times. "Thank you for the apology and I whole— figuratively —heartedly accept." Logan softly added, "Thank you."

Janus' shoulders and expression relaxed as he gave Logan a small and brief smile.

"Mm, Loganberry Finn, I'm so sorry too!" Remus half whined, half exclaimed. "Well, not for the shrunken to the head, that was funny, but for everything else! I antagonized you a lot, and that was really unfair to you, so I'm sorry too. I've been mean to you and not in a safe, sane, and consensual way."

"I appreciate and accept your apology, Remus. Thank you."

"You're welcome!" Remus exclaimed as he began to wiggle around, still sitting on the coffee table. "Oh! Do you want a really gross and disturbing mental image?"

"No, thank you."

"Aww," Remus pouted, but relented with a sigh and an, "Okay."

Logan shook his head —dare he say— fondly at Remus before looking around at everyone again. "I would just like to say, thank you to everyone for this. I know this conversation wasn't quick or easy —or even finished as I'm sure we'll be talking about this more in the future—, but it was important and long overdue."

"And thank you for trusting us with this," Virgil said. "Thank you for telling us that we failed you… and thank you for letting us fix this and make sure that it doesn't happen again."

Patton hummed in agreement. "Yeah, kiddo! That was very brave of you."

"As brave— no! Braver than a prince!" Roman exclaimed.

Logan tried not to let his face warm at the compliment and comparison, but he was pretty sure he failed. Roman seemed to always know how to make Logan feel light and giddy, or perhaps that was just Logan's romantic attraction towards Roman —figuratively— talking.

Logan cleared his throat. "Thank you, I wouldn't be here without all of you. And yes that includes some bad things, but it has a lot of good as well."

"I'm very proud of you. Alright, ugh, all this honesty…" Janus scrunched up his nose in playful disgust. "I'm not glad we were able to have this conversation and don't hope things only go upwards for you from here."

"Ah, thank you, Janus. I hope the future holds good things for all of us."

Vigil rolled his eyes. "Oh, there's Jan's sarcasm. I was wondering where it'd gone or when it'd show up. You trying to get your sarcasm quota in for the day?

"What! Me? Being sarcastic? Never."

…

After the freeing but tiring conversion in the living room with everyone, Logan and Janus went to their library.

They each sat in an armchair across from the fireplace, the end table between them already had their steaming cups of tea on it.

"So," Logan began, "You wanted to talk about Roman."

"Yes. And I am, of course, in no way rushing you, especially considering how much you've been through and grown recently, but I still think you should tell him soon. Perhaps not now, but soon. There's no harm in taking a few months to collect yourself… however, if you're just waiting because you're afraid, either of his answer or how it will change both of your futures… I implore you to also think about how well it could turn out."

Logan adjusted his tie. "But he might say no."

"And he might say yes, you just don't know. And you won't know until you ask."

"Oh. I… but I just, there's no way to know and that… that really bothers me." Logan dropped his voice to just above a whisper, "What if he does say no though?"

"Hmm, even if he said no and it was awkward for a while, you'd still be good friends. Do you think Roman would be a jerk or not want to be your friend anymore just because you have romantic feelings for him?"

"...No."

"Exactly. He of all people should understand how little control you have over that, he is the side in charge of Thomas' romantic feelings after all. You can't choose or know how Roman will react. You can only choose your words, actions, and how you react, nothing else."

"Is…" Logan adjusted his glasses. "It's common to be… worried when faced with an unknown situation, correct?"

Janus' expression softened. "Yes, it is. The unknown is quite a mystery, yet fascinating. The unknown can seem quite frightening, and in a way it is, but it's also vast and sometimes surprising, and I for one tend to look forward to seeing what's to come. I embrace the unknown… I embrace the future, even if the past or present isn't all I'd hoped it to be, there's still the future to discover."

"Oh… that is… quite an interesting take on it. I rather like that way of thinking. Thank you."

Janus smiled at Logan. "I'm glad you've found something in it as I have."

"So… you really think I should… confess to Roman?"

"I— I'm not saying that you have to tell Roman about your feelings for him, and, of course, you shouldn't rush it, but I would ask that you consider it. That's all."

"I… I will consider it."

"Thank you." Janus shifted to make himself more comfortable before changing the subject, "Now, how was your reread of Anne Of Green Gables?"

Logan couldn't sleep, Janus' words about talking to Roman and telling him that Logan was romantically attracted to him swirling around his head.

Logan could tell Roman the next day— er, later that day, Logan realised after looking at his clock.

Perhaps he should wait a few days to tell Roman, but the anticipation was making it difficult, and now that he was thinking about it, all he wanted to do was tell Roman and finally know how he'd react and what he'd say.

Logan sighed. If he was going to have yet another big emotional conversation, he really needed to get some sleep.

Roman had been so supportive the day before, but what if he hated or was disgusted by Logan's romantic feelings?

Sure, he'd most likely be nice about it, but the fear was still there and keeping Logan awake.

What if Roman couldn't even stand to be in the same room as Loga— no. Logan didn't do 'what if's.

It was one thing to think of some possible scenarios, or even theorise about how the person might react, but only in a moderate amount.

'What if's could so easily send someone down a counterproductive mental spiral, and Logan didn't, couldn't go down that figurative path.

It wasn't helpful and was, if anything, harmful. He needed to remember that he couldn't control every variable, there was no way to know for sure how it would go, except to just wait and see. He needed to relax.

Actually, what he really needed more than anything was sleep, but it really didn't seem like that would come anytime soon.

Logan sighed, feeling how his mouth and throat had dried out.

Well, he certainly couldn't sleep with a dry throat.

…

Logan walked into the already lit kitchen and wondered if someone had forgotten to turn the light off before they went to bed. He had barely stepped two steps in when a throat clearing from his right startled Logan.

"Hey, resident nerd. Not able to sleep either?" Roman asked, a glass of water in his hand.

"Hello, Roman. And no, I couldn't."

Roman took a sip of his water. "Come to get a drink, or maybe steal a cookie or two from the cookie tin?"

Logan huffed amusedly. "Technically the cookies are for anyone who lives here, so considering I live here and therefore have permission, it wouldn't be stealing."

"Touché."

"I'm just getting a glass of water," Logan said as he grabbed a cup from the cabinet and filled it from the sink.

"You, uh…" Roman looked away, nonchalantness seeming a bit forced. "You doing okay?"

"I am… doing better. A bit emotionally exhausted, if I'm being honest. But I'm doing better."

"Well, that's good." Roman drained the last of his water, setting the cup by the sink, and as he walked through the kitchen doorway, he called out behind himself, "Well, guess I should go try to sleep again."

Logan quickly finished his drink in the same manner and hurried after Roman. "Ah, wait, Roman."

Roman paused at the bottom of the stairs and turned to Logan, eyebrows raised. "Yeah?"

"Could, um, could I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Er, should we sit down?" Logan was stalling and he knew it.

"Sure," Roman easily replied.

They sat down, Logan fiddling with his tie in a desperate attempt to calm his nerves.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I— it's nothing bad, I just…" What if Logan could get Roman's reaction before even telling him? Sure, Roman was a pretty good actor but Logan had known him for both of their entire lives. Surely he could get some sort of useful information. Besides, there was no harm in hypotheticals, right?

"You just?" Roman prompted, making Logan blink in surprise.

"Oh, right. Um, I could use your assistance with something."

"Oh? What can I help you with?"

"Well, I… I'm in love with a side!" Oops, there went the hypothetical idea, as there was absolutely nothing hypothetical about an outright confession. Oh, well. Logan would just have to improvise.

Roman stared at Logan for longer than Logan expected, before a smile that Logan could swear didn't meet Roman's eyes lit his face.

"Oh, that's wonderful, Logan! Have you come to me for romantic advice? Which would make sense, I am the romantic side, after all."

"Ah, yes, I have actually."

"So who is it?"

"I'd… rather not say just yet."

"Alright, that might make it a bit more difficult for me but it's just whatever you're comfortable with."

"Thank you, I… I really appreciate you not prying."

"Of course, Logan. So what type of advice do you need? And do they know you like them yet?"

"No, they don't know. And I… I was wondering how to approach them with the topic of my attraction to them. It's been there… for a while but I only recently realised what it meant."

"Okay, so the goal is to get them to fall in love with you!"

"Not exactly. I… I, of course, would be… sad if they didn't reciprocate the feelings, but I want them to know that they don't have to feel the same way. I just want them to be aware of my attraction and then if they want me to try and make them fade, then I can do so, or if they… if they somehow returned them… but I'm getting ahead of myself. I— the point is, I'm not going to try and make them fall in love with me. They either do, don't, or are willing to try, and I shouldn't try to interfere with their decision."

Roman gave a small, almost proud smile. "That's very noble of you, you know?"

"How so?"

"Well, just the acknowledgment that they might not feel the same way, and not wanting to force them into anything… I'm sure they'll appreciate it. Everyone here cares about you, so whether or not they feel the same way, I know it'll mean a lot to them."

"I…" Logan dropped his voice to just above a whisper. "I think they will too."

Roman gave Logan another one of those weird 'I'm happy for you but also upset' smiles. "So, what's your plan then? And how can I help?"

"I don't exactly know. I… well, I hadn't exactly planned to ask for you for advice tonight. It just… happened."

"Ah, that's perfectly understandable, Logan." There it was again. Roman had called Logan by his name for the third time.

What had Logan done to upset Roman so much? Maybe Logan should hurry up and just get the information he needed.

"But, perhaps a pointer or two about what to say would be helpful."

"Oh! Yes, of course! So, first, you make sure they know that they don't have to reciprocate or even have an answer right then. They may need time to process and think about it. Second, don't beat around the bush."

Well, Logan had certainly failed that already.

Roman continued, "They're just going to be confused and waiting for whatever it is that they know you're waiting to say. Just tell them. And third, well, this isn't actually a point but, I wish you luck, whatever happens. You can do this, Logan."

"I should… stop beating around the bush and go ahead and tell them?"

"Yes."

"Alright, so… Roman you in no way have to reciprocate or make any decisions right away, but you should know that I have romantic feelings for you."

Roman's expression was rather pinched as he answered, "Yeah! Just replace the Roman with the person's actual name, and then yep, just like that!"

Roman was decidedly a disaster gay. How much more explicit could Logan even get?

"I did use the person's name though?"

"No, you said Ro— wait. You… but— and… what?"

"It's alright, just take your ti—"

"You— but— how did you… did my brother put you up to this?" Roman asked, although his tone gave away that he didn't think that was the case and was just in shock.

"No, Remus didn't put me up to this."

"You… you actually have romantic feelings for… me?"

"Yes, I really do. I am romantically attracted to you, Roman."

The widest smile crossed Roman's face, his beaming grin making Logan's heart speed up and face warm.

"By Zeus' beard, really?! You like me too!?"

Logan raised an eyebrow amusedly. "Yes, I really d— 'too'? You… feel the same way?"

"Yes! I have for a while now, but have been too nervous to say anything." Roman looked down in shame. "I kinda started to ignore you to try and get the feelings to fade but they didn't, and all that came from it was you feeling like your worth was set upon what you can do, and you feeling alone. And that really wasn't how I should've handled it, so… I'm sorry. I really am, Logan."

"Oh, oh wow. I— thank you, Roman. I forgive you. And my… the reasons for turning my emotions off aren't all on you, alright? I should've gone to someone and told them how I was feeling long ago."

"Hey, it's not on you either. We— I should've made it more clear that you could come you me if you wanted or needed to. It was a two-way thing."

"Hmm, in that case, how about it's a bit everyone's fault, and also not anyone's fault."

"That… yeah, that sounds good. Because like, we all could've done something to help, but we also didn't know then what we do now. That sounds like a good compromise."

"Exactly! That's what I thought as well."

Roman's mouth twisted into that odd-looking smile again, rather like a sick sheep. "You like me. You actually like me."

A feeling bubbled up in Logan's chest as he only just avoided gigging. "That's been established, my dea— er…" Logan had just… he hadn't even asked! What if Roman h—

But Logan needn't have worried as Roman's grin only got impossibly wider. "Awww, cute and nerdy! You just used a nickname for me!!"

"I—" Logan adjusted his glasses. "Apologies for not asking first, it just slipped out."

"It's okay, I don't mind! Quite the opposite actually. I really like nicknames… my love?" Roman raised an eyebrow questionatively.

Logan was quite sure he was blushing now. "I also, um, am appreciative of nicknames as well."

"Oh, excellent! In that case, I'm going to use them a lot then, my beloved."

"R— Roman, please."

"Aww, are you getting flustered, my beautiful dearest?"

"Mm, perhaps," Logan said as if his cheeks weren't aflame.

"Is it a bit too much?"

"Hmm, not quite yet, but soon, I believe."

"Alright, I'll lay off a bit. There'll be plenty of time to make sure you know how pretty and smart you are later."

Logan pursed his lips in loving exasperation. "Roman."

"Sorry! Sorry! I suppose it's just that now that I can actually say what I'm thinking to your face, it just comes so naturally. But I'll chill now… is— um, I mean..."

"Yes?"

"You don't have to say yes, but… can… would it be okay if we hugged? It's okay if not! Just thought I'd ask?" Roman pitched his voice up at the end, making it sound like a question, despite the sentence not seeming like it on its own.

Logan felt his expression soften. "Yes, I'd rather like that." He opened his arms as Roman tucked himself against Logan's chest.

"Thanks."

"And thank you as well."

Roman looked up at Logan in surprise. "What for?"

"Just… for taking this so well." Logan began to run his fingers through Roman's hair. "For being here… for being you."

"Oh my gods, you're so sappy! Like in a good way though."

Logan smiled softly. Maybe this whole emotions thing wasn't so bad.

Granted there would be many downs, but as long as there were ups to go with them, as long as Logan wasn't alone anymore, he could do this.

And do it he would, for he'd have his recently expanded famILY to help him whenever he needed — or even just wanted—, and to Logan, that was more than enough.

~The End~

No reposting, likes are nice, and reblogs are very much appreciated! | Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @someoneiwasnt

#sanders sides #my fics #sanders sides fics #my writing #logince #platonic loceit #background LAMP #logan sanders #ts logan #tss logan #janus sanders #ts janus #tss janus #roman sanders #ts roman #tss roman #patton virgil and remus appear #Thomas is mentioned

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incorrect-robbie · 3 years

Text

Dear Roman

I hope this note finds you before I do

Logan

Roman: *screams*

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tastic-in-its-finest · 3 years

Text

How to propose?

Logince week 2022 Day 1: Propose

Next chapter..

Warnings and tags: Talk about marriage and wine

Summary: Logan gets flustered on what to do and how to propose to Roman as he knows nothing about the subject. So he goes to the only person that can help.

Written by: @tastic-in-its-finest, for @loginceweek2022

It was a beautiful day. Romantic even. But Logan couldn’t get rid of the metaphorical butterflies in his stomach.

Him and Roman have been dating for some time now, their anniversary is coming close to date. But then the idea of marriage struck him in a random place and he just couldn’t stop thinking about the idea. Him and Roman, married, full of commitment, a symbol to show how much he loved him. Even though he would already consider his relationship with Roman like a marriage, Roman loved the romantic proposal with a lovely sunset in the background after a flirty dinner. Problem was, he didn’t know when to ‘pop the question’ or if Roman himself had considered the idea. But then everything seemed to come to fruition once he realized that he needed to learn more about Roman.

Logan was hovering over his desk while looking at all the several notes scattered and spread out. He had taken the notes in the form of notebooks. Each had different labels that addressed something, like for example, past recordings of eating habits, sleep schedule, and his plan for a more functional life for Thomas. Instead, Logan passively shoved to the side the books that involved Thomas' well-being. But he stacked them first gently in order for his desk to occupy the other books. He was more focused on the different notebooks that contain all of his knowledge on the different facets of Thomas personality. The color on the front cover represented which side it belonged to. He was looking for vibrant red.

After sorting, placing books back, and taking in consideration that he needs to be more gentle with the books. His desk was covered in the red books he was previously looking for. There were a total of five, with the fifth still being written in. Logan wasn’t a stalker or anything. He instead was just very observant and took notes on behaviors, habits, and functions. Possibly likes and dislikes. Which is good, he has what he needs and now he has to start from one and go from there.

He walked back to his desk and pulled out his chair to take a seat. He grabbed one red book and could feel the rough cover and the rubbery pages as he continued reading them. They smelled like they had never been used before, like ink wasn’t staining them. It weirdly reminded him of whenever Roman would write, the pages always smelled the same and he never had an error when discussing his ideas on paper. Logan blushed a bit but he just continued reading in his head.

Poetry, drawing, writing, painting, all of these things were creative and notes that he constantly put down in the notebooks. He must admit it was nice to read them but he didn’t know if he was expecting to find a solution on how to make the perfect proposal but all he had written was all of the creative works Roman had done. The books reminded him of everything Roman was good at. He wouldn’t say it was a complete waste of his time, though he felt like it. It still brought him a feeling of nostalgia that he hasn’t felt in a long time. Feelings. They always got in the way sometimes.

Logan didn’t want to bury himself in his room, he needed to move around a bit before rereading the red books. He placed the red books delicately back on the bookshelf to not bend the corners. He would worry about them later but he needed to space himself from his own knowledge. He walked out of his room and sighed as he really wasn’t sure what he should do for the proposal. He did need a ring, location, and some sense of time management. An idea formed in his head, the internet can be reliable to a degree and could help him come up with some ideas.

Of course, his computer was in his room. He turned his body around and went back to his room to fetch his computer. He picked up the hardware by the edges and tucked it between his arm and held it close to his chest. Just in case, Logan grabbed a notebook and writing utensil to be sure that he wouldn’t forget anything if he did find a website that could solve his dilemma.

The dilemma in question had a solution. Logan was browsing a website on his computer. He placed himself in a chair tucked into the dining table in the commons in his regular spot as working on the couch wasn’t ideal to him right now. So far, he googled, ‘How to buy an engagement ring without my partner knowing’. All it led him to was different ring industry websites that offered no insight in how to buy a ring in secret but just buying a ring. He was a side so this obviously wouldn’t work if he were to attempt to buy it. That was another problem though. The ring. Logan put his elbows on the table and held up his chin as he concentrated. There are plenty of different rings he could get Roman, but how would he get them exactly? He could try to craft a ring himself, that sounds romantic enough. He could go to Remus, yet there was too much risk. He looked back on his computer as he removed his glasses and whipped his hand over his face. What was he going to do now?

Logan left his computer and walked back to his room quietly. He didn't want any of the other sides to ask him where he was going, which then made him silently speed walk instead. He placed his empty notebook on his desk as he went over to his bed. He sat down on the soft thin covers and rubbed his fingers against it. There were plenty of opinions he could do but neither of it felt right or special enough for Roman. He wanted it to be a complete surprise, no help from anyone. The only one who could really help him was Roman himself. But right now, he needs to contemplate his options. Possibly get some help from someone which he really doesn’t want to do.

First, Patton could offer some support but he is a terrible liar and wouldn’t be able to keep the proposal a secret. Virgil isn’t into romantic relationships, he would try his best to help Logan but the possibility of Virgil panicking is high. Supposedly Remus could offer plenty of input and creatitions, but Logan doesn’t know his limits and knows that Remus is very blunt and honest as well. Lastly, Janus can lie, he can offer input, and possibly he could help out. Yet, Roman still isn’t fond of him, though the two are in a peaceful state at the moment. Janus is the solution.

A few days later, Logan knocked on the Deceitful side’s door as the wood was painted in his plain signature yellow with cursive writing. Logan folded his hands and waited for a response.

“Who is it?” Presumably Janus asked from behind the door.

“It’s Logan.” Logan answered. He heard a small click that seemed close to his ears.

“It's open.” Logan opened the door after hearing Janus. Janus’ room was similar to Logan’s but it included more lesture activities, large orbs in the sky, and had a wine cabinet.

“Don’t look at the orbs.” Janus ordered from his chair as his legs were crossed and a recently read book placed by his side. Logan obeyed as Janus pointed to the empty seat sitting across from him. In the middle between the chairs was a table that perfectly seated a chessboard.

“So what business does the Logical side want that's so important for him to intrude in my humble abode?” Janus questioned him. Logan finished taking his seat. The chair was leather but it was decorated with pillow-like material and made a strange combination on his back. It reminded him of his bed sheets.

“I.. need some help.” Logan put his hands on his lap as he sat straight.

“The logical side, the smartest out of all sides, wants help.” Janus chucked as Logan felt pressure.

“Look, I didn’t want to go to you either but--” Logan got interrupted.

“Chill, what do you need help with?” Janus got up from his chair as he slid his hand to the table next to him. A small object was in his hand as he walked away from the scene in front of them.

“Roman..” Logan his eyes followed Janus cautiously as he went over to the wine cabinet.

“Did he finally decide to not listen to you?” Janus previously picked up a rustic small key that slid perfectly into the wine cabinet keyhole.

“No! It's more complicated than that.” Logan felt the frustration rise as his voice became louder.

“No need to raise your temper, I’m just messing around.” Janus joked, but Logan really didn’t want to deal with it.

“Wine?” Janus asked as he opened up the case.

“Fine.” With that, Janus grabbed a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses that were placed on a side table next to the cabinet. With his extra limbs, he poured two glasses and handed one to Logan. Logan accepted it and took a sip afterwards. Janus walked over to the record player while still handling the wine. He started the player as a classical violin played in the background.

Once Janus sat down, Logan started questioning, “Why haven't you lied this whole time?”

“You haven’t either”, Logan gave him a small stare then Janus began to talk again, “The room makes it so everyone tells the truth and nothing but the truth. I would at least think that you have theorized that.” Janus remarked as he set his own wine glass on the table next to the book as he ignored Logan’s consistent staring.

“Now, let's talk about this matter over some wine, music, and chess shall we?” Logan nodded, the black chess pieces were on his side of the table, it seemed that Janus would go first if he is white.

“So you're trying to propose to Roman but you don’t know how?” Janus summed up everything that Logan was trying to say.

“Exactly.” Logan moved a chess piece and lifted his hand to grab his wine glass off of the table next to him. Janus had a lot of tables.

“And out of everyone you come to me?” Janus looked over the board.

“Yes, you seemed like the more probable solution.” Logan grumbled but finished his sip and placed the wine back.

“You’re such a hopeless romantic if you decided to come to my chambers. I’m honored, truly. But it really depends”, Janus made his move, “What do you want to do?”

“I’m not internally sure, that’s the reason why I decided to talk to you.” Logan looked at his moves.

“At least give me some bullet points”, Janus sighed angrily, “Where do you want it, when do you want it, what do you need me to do?” Logan paused for a moment to think.

“Where I want it isn’t something I know yet. Probably a place that Roman loves.” Logan answered as he made his move on chess.

“If I’m here for suggestions then, how about imagination?” Janus suggested and scrunched his nose once he saw the move that Logan made.

“That could work.” Logan mumbled.

“You also have to be careful though, the imagination is.. Roman’s domain. He will know if you tinker with it.” Janus spared Logan a look of sympathy after looking back at the chessboard.

“True. That is another problem.” Logan took the wine glass again as his palms started to stick to the glass from holding it too long.

“Hmm. Now it just depends on the time and whatever.” Janus finally made his move after sounding very bored. He supported his chin with his hand as his elbow was propped on the side arm of the chair.

“Yes. If we set it up during the day of the proposal.. He will know and go to the location..” Logan set the glass down.

“Then I will be able to propose.” Logan smiled as he made his move. There was a slight pause.

“Then you two will reenact a Lee and Mary Lee situation”, Janus said with plenty of sarcasticness, Logan gave Janus a look, “Great minds think alike I guess.” Janus mumbled in the awkwardness.

“But the actual date though.” Janus changed the topic quickly as he observed Logan.

“Hm. I was thinking of something like an anniversary.”

“Aw, classic. It's not a bad idea though”, Janus reassured as he moved a piece, “How far away is your anniversary again?”

“Two weeks, five days, four hours, and one minute.” Logan responded

“Sheesh. A little perfect don’t you think.” Janus remarked as he smirked.

“...Yeah.” Logan moved a piece as he answered. The two stayed in silence for a while as Janus pondered his move. Logan was in a better position than him even though they were talking the whole time.

“So.. you didn’t really answer my third question.” Janus moved a piece. They were far into the game with a mix of chess pieces to the side. They weren’t playing speed chess so the clock wasn’t in motion. Janus and Logan both finished their wines and the music was on its third song.

“Hm, right. I suppose you could help with a couple of things.”

“Like I haven’t already.” Janus smirked but Logan didn’t find it amusing.

“I meant more for preparations and making sure that Roman doesn’t find out.” Logan stared at the board.

“Yea, yea, quick question. Do the others know?” Janus questioned. He was genuinely interested as he was bent over and just waiting for Logan to answer.

“No. You’re the only side I have shared my thoughts with. This proposal is something that I thought of a couple of days ago.” Logan moved his piece and looked to the side.

“Hm, no wonder.” Janus said slowly, Logan turned back to see him finish his move.

“Yea, it’s-- wait, did you cheat?” Logan paused his hand before placing his black piece on the board. Janus just shrugged but gave him a mischievous smirk. Logan decided to drop it and he put his piece in the position that he originally was going to put it.

“Like I said before, you were the most probable option.”

“You know Logan, this is just a proposal. What you really have to worry about is the wedding. If he accepts.” Janus chuckled as he placed his piece. Logan got a pit in his stomach. Roman rejecting him would be the worst possibility. He loved Roman, and for Roman to reject, then he didn't know what he would do. Logan looked down as Janus noticed his behavior. Logan couldn’t hear the board moving with the violins continuing to play.

“But I think Roman would settle with a good chess player.” There was not sarcasticness or snark so Logan knew what he was implying. His confidence slightly boosted from the compliment from Janus. Logan looked back at the board as it was now his turn.

“I suppose you could help me with decorating, creating a ring, and offering more input so the chances of Roman saying no are lower.” Logan placed the black piece.

“So generally, just make the proposal as perfect as possible.”

“Mhm.” Logan hummed as he scanned Janus’ facial features to see what he was thinking for game purposes. After a little while, Janus finished his move.

“He won’t say no Logan.” Janus spoke up after the board silenced after he placed his piece.

“Hm.” Logan didn’t know how to respond to Janus’ statement so he just ignored it and continued on with the game. Logam got a slight smirk after moving his piece.

“Check.” Logan sat back in his chair.

“You sly dog.” Janus chuckled quietly with a forced smile as he was looking directly at the spot where he was in check. Logan just hummed in response but was truly prideful for the occasion.

Janus sighed, “I’m dead.” Janus moved one of his last white pieces as Logan looked at the empty spot of the board where he was about to place it.

Logan laughed silently to himself while moving his black piece, “Checkmate.” Janus made a small grunt and slitted his eyes from how he lost. Janus then put his hands on the chair arms and pushed himself out of his seat.

“I guess I should clean up, as I am the famed loser of chess from now on.” Janus rubbed his gloves past each other. Logan then started questioning the physics of the room as Janus has been able to be sarcastic at least a little bit. But it would be damaging to a side if they were to do the opposite of their function while in their living space. Janus gripped his own wine glass as he then avoided the chess table and proceeded to take Logan’s glass as well. With more extra limbs, he was also able to turn off the player without trouble and grabbed the red wine itself.

“You don’t have to watch me clean you know.” Logan could feel Janus’ smirk even though he was facing away from him due to filling the wine case. Logan rushed out of his seat in embarrassment and reached his hands to fix his crooked tie. He pulled on it and was able to fix it without a mirror as he continued to observe what Janus was doing while facing the door.

“I will talk to you tomorrow.” Logan headed toward the door and didn’t spare a glance towards the opposite side of the room. Logan wanted to say thank you but he knew that Janus would recover with a clever remark that would make the statement seem pathetic. He closed the door behind him and stood there to listen. Janus didn’t say anything and there were no other sides around. Quietly, he sneaked to his room while still trying to be as fast as he could to not be stopped by anyone. He reached his room and didn’t bother to avoid making noise. He walked back over to his bed and slowly sighed his way down to his bed. He pulled the sheets again through his fingers. The next few days were going to be worth it.

#loginceweek2022 #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman mention #janus sanders #romantic logince #platonic loceit #marriage #proposing #wine #chess #cheating #fanfiction #tastic writes

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hottestthingalive · 4 years

Text

Changes, Tricks, and Trust

He does what he can. And sometimes, doing what he can means that, when he opens the door for trick-or-treaters while his dad is wrangling Remus into his pirate costume and finds a man holding hands with a kid younger than even Roman and Remus (wearing a scientist costume and a cat costume, respectively,) who introduces himself as “Logan Abbott, and this is Patton. You must be Janus,” he just glares, and slams the door in their faces.

—

In which the Carroll siblings conspire against their father’s new boyfriend, Logan makes a promise, and Janus has a grudge against omelets.

Notes: Look, okay, we’re all very aware this is two hours past Halloween, and an hour into No-Content November, but I wrote this in a day and am operating under the logic that it is both Halloween and not November somewhere, so let’s pretend we’re all okay with this and move on. Virgil also calls Roman and Remus peanut butter and jelly, which makes up for all my sins.

Roman also knows lots of words he shouldn’t at his age, because I am, in fact, projecting myself at six onto him. Let him have a big vocabulary!

(He also mispronounces most of the words. This is still projecting. I apologize in advance.)

Many thanks to @smileyzs, who stayed up far too late to help me edit, and the rest of @waffle-gang-incorrect-quotes, who had to listen to me ranting about this as I wrote it. Y’all deserve the world. Thank you for putting up with me, and this fic.

Warnings: Implied gore (but not really), food mentions (mostly candy), a fair bit of angst, Janus manipulating his brothers but not in an intentionally cruel way.

Relationships: Romantic Analogical, familial logicality, familial virgil, janus, roman and remus, platonic loceit, intrulogical, and logince.

Words: 5328

Ao3

Enjoy!

—

“Roman, Remus,” Virgil says calmly, holding up a knife, stained with guts and gore, the key piece of evidence to the brutal mutilations of two innocents, “who decided to carve ‘Logan is a butt’ into our pumpkins?”

They point at each other, faces the picture of wide-eyed innocence. Virgil is not fooled.

“Janus, do you know anything about this?” he asks, turning away from the twins to look at his nine year old, who is currently pretending to be very occupied with the book he is reading at the dinner table. Virgil wonders if Janus knows that he hasn’t turned a page in the last five minutes. Probably not.

“Oh, why would I ever do that?” Janus wonders, looking up from the book, his puppy-eyes matching those of the twins. “It really is too bad though. Clearly, you can’t have Logan over for Halloween anymore. Tragic.”

Virgil pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Janus, you’re the only one tall enough to reach the knife block, and I found the knife hidden under Remus’ bed. I know it was you three.” He puts the knife down on the table, really hoping the pumpkin guts won’t stain the wood, and says “Kids, remember what we said about playing with knives without adult supervision?”

“Not to do it,” the twins mumble in unison. Janus says “Do it only when we’re in trouble, like defending ourselves from a vicious intruder about to invade our home?” instead, which was not the answer Virgil was looking for, and he’s very sure Janus knows it.

“Look,” Virgil says, sitting down in one of the chairs that his kids have covered in fake cobwebs and pumpkin stickers, “I’ve already invited Logan and Patton over. And I… I really, really like him. A lot.” He turns a bit red, at that, and ignores Janus rolling his eyes. “But if you guys really think he’s that bad after you meet him tonight, I’ll break up with him, okay? You three are always going to be my top priority. Just promise me you’ll keep an open mind, yeah?”

“Okay,” Roman agrees, and runs to jump up into Virgil’s lap, burying his head in Virgil’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we messed up the pumpkins and were mean to Mr. Logan, Dad.”

“It’s okay, peanut butter,” Virgil tells him. He expected Roman to be the apologetic one — for a six year old, his son has developed quite the sense of right and wrong. He’s a bit more surprised when Remus does the same, squirming into the hug and saying “I’m sorry we called him a butt.” He snickers, a bit, which makes Virgil think he’s not all that sorry, but he lets it go.

“Thank you, jelly,” he says, and looks expectantly at Janus.

“Sure, whatever,” Janus says, snapping the book closed. “I’m sorry we messed up your decorations, Dad.”

“I don’t care about the decorations, hon,” Virgil reminds him. “I’m just glad you guys didn’t get hurt, okay? No more knives. Now c’mere, Jan.”

Janus begrudgingly joins the hug, wrapping his arms around Virgil and the twins both, and they just sit like that, Virgil and his children, in the quiet of the kitchen.

“Okay,” he says finally, “let's get you into your costumes, yeah?”

—

Janus just wants his dad to be happy.

He saw what happened the last times his dad went on dates. He got all excited. Dressed up. Kissed his sons goodbye, smiling and happy and practically dancing on clouds.

And then, one day, he’d come home a bit off. He’d put on a smile, he’d act like everything was fine, but then he’d make them omelets for dinner.

Janus hates omelets, because Dad only makes omelets when he’s sad.

He’s heard his dad talking about it on the phone late at night with Uncle Remy, who isn’t really their uncle, but who calls himself their uncle every time he comes over anyways. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Dad will say, with his voice choked up like he’s crying, and Janus will stand with his back against the door and hear Remy’s voice murmur something soothing, always including curse words about his dad’s ex which Janus isn’t supposed to know the meanings of.

Janus isn’t supposed to be up, on those nights. But he is, usually, staying up after they’re put to bed every time Dad makes omelets for dinner, because he knows that once he hangs up, he can wander into his dad’s room with some mumbled excuse about nightmares and do his best to comfort him without mentioning the breakup at all.

“Who was that?” his dad asks as he enters the room, holding Remus in his arms, who is finally in his costume, and not running around naked, as he has been for the last eight minutes.

“No one,” Janus says, the picture of innocence, and then the doorbell rings again. “I’ll get it!”

“No, it’s fine,” his dad says, already crossing the room towards the door. “I’ve got it, honey. Thank you, though!”

He opens the door, and his face transforms, going from Regular-Dad-Face to his Sappy-Dumb-Blushy-Face. Janus hates the Sappy-Dumb-Blushy-Face.

“Logan!” Dad says, all high-pitched and pink cheeks, and Janus braces himself to be ratted out by stupid, stupid Logan Abbott. Which is a stupid name, too.

“Hello, Virgil,” says dumb, stupid, Dad-stealing Logan, whose voice is all soft, which just gets Janus angrier, because he’s making an effort to sound genuine about it. “And you must be one of the twins. What’s your name?”

Janus feels rather gratified when Remus just sticks out his tongue, though less so when his dad says “Remus, be nice,” in his Please, Kids, We Talked About This voice. “Come in! This is Janus, and Roman should be right down.”

Logan looks over at Janus as the door closes behind him, and Janus crosses his arms over his chest. He waits for him to say “Ah, yes, we met earlier,” or “Right, I remember,” or even “He slammed the door in our faces earlier,” but all that Logan says is “It’s nice to meet you, Janus,” with the kind of smile that sappy people in movies wear. He thinks, reluctantly, that it’s a nice smile, and that the kid, at least, doesn’t seem so bad.

“Octopus!” says the boy beside him, pointing at Janus, with pure glee in his big brown eyes. “Octopus!”

“I’m a kraken,” he grumbles, all kind thoughts towards his dad’s stupid boyfriend and his dumb kid gone.

This Halloween is gonna suck.

—

“You’re a dumb scientist,” Remus says to Mr. Logan, arms crossed across his chest, as Roman and Janus mutter together behind them, his dad walking with the little kid who had introduced himself as ‘Patpat!’ and whom the adults call ‘Patton’. His dad has managed to fix the pumpkins, despite all odds, and they look rather nice as they walk away, off into the wilds of the neighborhood for some trick-or-treating.

Remus has been designated the distraction while his brothers figure out a way to get Logan Abbott to go home and leave their dad alone. “You’re good at being a distraction!” Roman chirps, and Janus mutters “And you won’t betray us like Roman would.”

He is good at being a distraction. And he loves his dad more than anything (except maybe his brothers) and Janus is very smart, and if he says getting Mr. Logan to go away will make their dad happy, Remus will believe him.

Plus, it is a dumb costume.

“Why am I a dumb scientist?” asks Mr. Logan, who doesn’t seem very insulted by this, merely curious.

“Your lab coat is covered in green and blue and red,” Remus tells him, using his sword to point at the splotches. “Everyone knows potions are green and blue and purple. And you’re a butt.”

“Well,” Mr. Logan says, and though his eyes curl up like he’s smiling, his expression is still neutral, “I had my assistant deal with all the purple ones, because purple potions smell bad.” (Remus wants to laugh at that, just a little bit.) “And the red isn’t from potions.”

“What’s the red, then?” asks Remus, despite himself.

“The blood of my enemies,” says Mr. Logan matter-of-factly.

“Cool,” he breathes, looking at Logan with newfound respect. “Why’d you murder them?”

“I am an evil scientist,” he answers, adjusting his glasses. “It is in the job description.”

“Cool!”

“Also a butt as well, apparently,” Mr. Logan adds thoughtfully. “I wonder if I can add that to my official scientist business cards. ‘Dr. Logan Abbott, Mad Scientist and Butt Extraordinaire.’”

“Bad guys get business cards?” Remus asks, having forgotten altogether about being a distraction. “I’m a pirate. Do I get a business card?”

“Are you a good pirate or a bad pirate?”

“I’m a bad pirate,” he declares, waving his sword in the air. “Roro is a prince-sailor-man, like Prince Eric from Disney, and Janny is an evil kraken we have to team up against! And Dad is a wicked witch who sent the kraken.”

“A wicked witch, huh?” Mr. Logan says, glancing behind him at where Dad and Patton are. Remus follows his gaze. Dad certainly doesn’t look very wicked, even though he’s wearing a cloak and a hat and scary makeup, but maybe that’s just because he’s smiling, holding hands with Mr. Logan’s kid as Patton babbles on about something.

It’s hard for his dad to look evil in general, to Remus at least, but especially when he smiles. He’s never found Dad to be very scary, not like he’d been able to spook Roman and Janus every so often, but when he’s smiling, when he’s happy, he just looks like home.

And Mr. Logan looks so happy, too, looking at his dad, and, well, Roman is the romantic of the house, but Remus has been forced to sit through every one of his brother’s Disney movie watchings, and his favorite movie had always been the Princess Bride (which Dad thinks is too old for Remus and Roman, but lets them watch with him and Janus anyways.) Mr. Logan looks like all the movies, all the descriptions in books, all the stories of love Remus has ever heard. Love-struck, his mind supplies.

“Yes,” Mr. Logan says, looking back at Remus, that lovey-dovey gaze gone but his eyes still so, so happy, “I think you’d get a business card. What would you put on it?”

He grins, and starts describing his Evil Pirate Captain Remus Caroll cards. Privately, he thinks that, no matter what Janus says, anyone who looks at his dad like that can’t be so bad.

Plus, Logan’s evil, like him. And he’s okay with being called a butt, which means maybe he’ll teach Remus more, even better insults.

—

“Aw, beans,” Roman says when he sees Remus happily chatting with the enemy. Janus has stronger language in mind, the kind of words that would get him grounded.

Sure enough, when Remus returns to them, carrying his candy basket in one hand and his sword in the other, he scuffs his sneaker-clad foot against the ground in a way that Janus knows to mean I’m about to say something you really won’t like.

“He’s nice,” Remus says defiantly, and Janus scoffs.

Fine. He has to do everything himself, huh?

If it’s up to him to protect their dad from Logan Abbott, that’s fine. He just has to keep Roman on his side for as long as possible, right?

“So you’re abandoning us?!” he snaps anyways, because despite everything, he’s hurt. He didn’t think Remus, of all people, would turn so quickly. “What about Dad?”

“I think he likes Dad!” Remus protests. “A lot! It’s like all those Disney movies!”

Roman looks between them, clearly conflicted. Uh-oh, Janus thinks.

“Hans seemed like he liked Anna a lot!” he answers, hands on his hips. “We’ve got to be Dad’s heroes, right, Roman?”

Roman’s expression solidifies into righteous anger. “We gotta keep Dad safe,” he agrees, reaching out to hold Janus’ hand. Janus, meanwhile, tries to ignore Remus’ hurt expression the best he can.

“Here,” he says, reaching into his bag and digging out a pack of gummy worms. “I know they’re your favorite.”

Remus’ expression brightens as Janus drops them into his candy basket. “Thanks, Janjan!” he says, beaming.

“Just don’t get in our way,” he says, and turns towards Logan.

“Okay, Roman,” he says. “You know what to do.”

His brother trots forwards, successfully swapping places with Remus, who drops back to go walk with Dad and Patton. Janus comes up on Logan’s other side, pointedly looking at the ground.

“Hello, Roman, Janus,” Logan says. “How is trick-or-treating going?”

“Good!” Roman says, cheery as always, though Janus can see his hands trembling. Janus doesn’t respond.

“I like your costume,” Logan tells his brother, and sounds almost sincere about it. “You’re a prince, right?”

“A sea-prince!” Roman declares, puffing out his chest. “Thank you, Mr. Logan!” Janus shoots him a glare, and Roman just winks. He blinks, taming his expression slightly.

Huh. Seems Roman is being much smarter about this than he had thought.

“Y’know,” Roman says, cheery as ever, “Dad’s told us so much about you, Mr. Logan!”

“Does he?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “What does he tell you, then?”

“Wellllll,” Roman hums, turning on the puppy-eyes. “I’m not sure you want to know, Mr. Logan.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, that is perfectly fine,” Logan answers, which is both completely against the plan and infuriatingly heartfelt.

“He says you’re, uh, stupid,” Janus mutters, taking matters into his own hands.

“Yes!” Roman exclaims. “Very stupid. And, and a big ol’ butt! And a meanie. And insuff-bly rude to your co-workers.”

Janus barely resists to smack a hand to his face — that last bit is stolen word for word from Uncle Remy’s rants to Dad about his boss when he comes over for dinner, and mispronounced at that! — but it seems to have worked, as Logan looks rather shocked.

“Oh, did he?” he asks, seemingly distressed. Yes! “Oh dear. That’s not very kind of him, was it?”

“Nope!” Janus answers, suddenly cheerful. Yes, yes! Now stupid Logan would go away, and Dad would be safe, and there would be no omelets for dinner or anything-

“I’d better go talk to him about it,” Logan says decisively. No, no, NO!

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Roman says, experiencing the same panic, but Logan is already dropping back to walk beside Dad, picking up Patton, who giggles and throws his arms around Logan to hug him.

“Damn it!” Janus exclaims, stomping in his anger.

“You cursed!” Roman says in shock, pointing at him.

“Yes, Roman, I cursed,” he snaps. “That didn’t work at all!”

Roman looks on the verge of crying, and he instantly regrets it. “Sorry, Ro,” he says, reaching out to take his brother’s hand again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was my dumb plan.”

“It wasn’t dumb,” Roman says, sniffling. “Mr. Logan’s the dumb one.”

“Yeah,” Janus agrees, and glances back at his dad and Logan. Dad looks all smitten again, and Logan, disgustingly, looks equally sappy. “We’re not gonna get anything done with them like that. Let’s… let’s just trick or treat with Remus for now, okay? We’ve got this.”

“Okay,” Roman agrees, and pulls Janus back to where their brother is happily munching on a Snickers bar.

They do end up having fun. And with Patton there, for all the dumb, costume-mistaking kid’s faults, adults are too busy cooing over him to care that Janus and Roman and Remus take a few pieces of candy from the bowls.

Okay, Janus thinks as they return to the house, time for Plan B.

—

Roman glares at the villainous intruder seated beside his father on the couch, as he and Remus and Janus trade candy on the floor. He’ll thwart this Logan Abbott’s evil plans! He’s a prince, after all!

“I’m gonna start making dinner,” Dad says, standing up. “I know it’s late, sorry. How does grilled cheese sound?”

“That sounds amazing,” the villain says, smiling like Hans at Anna in the beginning of the movie. “Do you want any help?”

“Just watch the kids for me, please?” Dad asks, and Roman nearly gags as he kisses the Hans-ome Villain on the cheek. Hadn’t Dad learned anything from Frozen?!

“Yeah, of course,” agrees Roman’s nefarious nemesis. Roman narrows his eyes, and checks again to make sure the fireplace is off, and that Mr. Logan — no, Dr. Logan, he’s too evil to be a mister, just look at his lab coat! — is sufficiently blocked off from it. He’s not a snowman, and neither are his brothers, but one could never be too careful! Princes always made sure to have all of their weaknesses defended against!

Janus follows their dad into the kitchen, but not before he glances at Roman and mouths Keep him busy, as he points at their vile adversary. It also could have been Reap the city, but Roman is pretty sure that doesn’t make any sense.

Remus, the traitor, is playing with Patton. “I’m the tickle zombie!” he declares loudly, sticking out his tongue and making groaning noises, wiggling his fingers at Patton, who squeals in excitement and darts away. “Twickle zomvie!” he yells to his father, who nods gravely.

“You had best run, Patton,” Mr. Logan tells him. “I hear tickle zombies are ruthless creatures.”

“Tickle zombie,” Remus groans in agreement, and Patton screams again, running towards the kitchen.

There is silence in the living room for a few minutes after that, until Logan finally says “What’s your favorite kind of candy, Roman?”

“Like I’d tell you that, you mal-volent maley-factor!” he exclaims, drawing his sword and pointing it at him. “You’d probably poison all the Starbursts!” He quickly realizes his mistake, and does his best to look even fiercer.

“Why would I do that? I like them too, I’ll have you know,” Mr. Logan says, though he looks rather surprised. “How old are you, Roman?”

“...Six,” he says grudgingly, when he can’t figure out how this bad-natured boyfriend of Dad’s would use his age against him.

“You have a very impressive vocabulary for six, Roman,” the execrable evil-doer tells him, raising an eyebrow.

“Janus and Dad and kindergarten taught me to read,” he says proudly. “And we ran out of books for me, so I’ve been reading the dictionary when we can’t go to the library!”

“That is very impressive,” Mr. Logan repeats. “What’s your favorite book?”

“It’s-” he starts, but then remembers Mr. Logan is the enemy. “None of your beeswax!”

Mr. Logan doesn’t seem as hurt by that as Roman would have expected, and silence reigns over the living room for a few minutes (save for when Patton and Remus come sprinting in and out of it). Roman finally lowers his sword, putting it beside him.

“I can teach you to use that,” the atrocious antagonist says finally, gesturing to the sword.

“What?” Roman asks, immediately on the defense. “I can use it fine, Padre’s poisonous partner!”

“I’m sure you can,” Mr. Logan says, adjusting his glasses, “and a very good insult, by the way, but I took fencing for many years. I can at least give you a few tips, hm?”

“...Fine,” Roman agrees, intrigued despite his best efforts.

Besides, how bad can loathsome Mr. Logan be if he likes Starbursts, anyways?

—

Janus knows he has lost Roman when he comes bounding into the room when Dad says “Dinner!” exclaiming “Dad, can I take fencing?”

“Logan Abbott,” Dad says, far too affectionate, “have you been teaching my son sword-fighting?”

“Maybe just a bit,” Logan says, not-so-subtly returning the broom to its place near the back door. “Is that… Is that alright?”

“Of course it’s alright,” Dad replies, handing him a plate of grilled cheese, complete with tomato soup. “It’s very sweet of you. This is all he’ll be talking about for months, though, I hope you know that.”

“It’s so cool, Dad!” Roman exclaims, proving his point. Remus is already sitting besides Patton, tearing into his grilled cheese, and Janus feels something cold settle into his stomach.

“Brothers conference, now,” he declares, standing up and marching towards the living room. He’s gratified to see that the twins still follow him, at least, even if they have been swayed to the side of Logan Abbott.

“I like him, Jan!” Roman says immediately, eyes wide and pleading. “He’s nice! And Dad likes him, and Remus does too!”

“And Patton’s great too,” Remus adds, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t wanna be mean to them!”

“What about Dad?” Janus exclaims, desperate. “Remember the last time we liked one of Dad’s dates?”

He’s referring to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named, who had looked so nice in photos, who Dad had spoken of like an angel, but who had met them with a fixed smile and broken up with Dad only a few weeks later. Remus’ face falls, but Roman’s expression only hardens.

“Logan’s not like that,” he insists. “We won’t help you anymore, Jan.”

His brothers leave him alone in the living room, and Janus scowls at the ground. Fine. If they won’t help him, he’ll do it himself. He doesn’t need them anyways!

He ignores the choking feeling in his chest and the burning at the corners of his eyes as he returns to the table.

Fine.

—

Patton likes Virgil and his family.

Remus is funny, and Roman knows all about all the princesses, and Janus, for all his grumpy-wumpies, has the best costume. And Virgil is so nice, and makes the best jokes, too!

Patton is all of four years old, and he, quite honestly, finds himself liking everything and everyone. But he especially likes his Papa’s boyfriend’s family.

They’re nice. And they make his papa happy, too, and he doesn’t feel scared around them at all. He’s pretty sure Janus could beat up any monsters in his octopus — no, kraken — costume anyways.

Janus looks sad when he comes back to the table, face all red and angry, and Patton reaches across to pat him on one of his tentacles. “You’re a very good kwaken,” he says.

Janus just stares at him. “...Sure, whatever,” he answers, turning away and taking a huge bite out of his grilled cheese. Patton is impressed, frankly.

Papa has told him that Virgil being his boyfriend means that he and Virgil are like Nate-from-daycare’s parents, romantic partners. Patton asked if that means if he and Virgil are gonna get married someday, like Nate’s, and his dad’s face turned all red. “Maybe,” he said.

Patton hopes so. He’d like to have Virgil as his other dad, he thinks. Virgil is nice. And Patton has begged for siblings so many times that getting Janus and Remus and Roman in the bargain is like what his dad says about cool things — bee’s knees. They’re like the bee’s knees!

So, Patton is hopeful.

He pats Janus’ tentacles once more. Hopefully, his maybe-future-big-brother will feel better soon.

—

“I just want to stay up for an extra hour, Dad,” Janus says, nearly pleading. “It’s Halloween! Just until Mr. Logan goes home.”

His dad looks desperately between him and Logan, who is sitting in the living room with Patton in his lap, snoozing against his chest. The twins had fallen asleep halfway through the movie, and Dad is holding Roman in his arms, Remus already tucked in upstairs.

“It’s alright, Virgil,” Logan says. “It is Halloween, and I’m trapped here anyways.” He gestures to Patton on his lap, and Dad laughs at that. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you so much, L,” Janus’ dad says, obviously relieved. “I’ll be right down, okay?”

“Okay,” Logan nods, returning Dad’s smile with one of his own.

“You should just go now,” Janus says once his dad is upstairs. “You ruined Halloween. And Dad hates you, and we hate you, so you should just go home!”

“I am aware that you don’t like me, Janus,” Logan tells him softly, far too nice. He’s the kind of wonderful guy that would have Dad making omelets for days afterwards, unbearably sad. “And… I must confess, I do not understand why. Do I truly make you that uncomfortable?”

“I don’t care about you,” he snaps, sinking back into the couch cushions, refusing to look at Logan, eyes on the credits rolling across the TV screen instead. “But I won’t let you hurt my dad.”

“Hurt your father?” Logan repeats, eyes wide. “Why on Earth would I do that?”

It is late, and Janus is tired, and he still feels like crying. And so he finds himself spilling it all, from the omelets to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named to his dad’s calls with Uncle Remy. He’s crying, he finds, partway through, and Logan doesn’t reach out to hug him or anything like that, but he listens. He nods, and he asks questions at all the right times, and passes Janus the tissues from the coffee table whenever he needs them.

“Janus,” Logan Abbott says when he is done, and he looks like he wants to cry, too, “may I promise you something, now?”

Janus nods, too tired to do anything else, and he gets the feeling that if he had shaken his head, Logan would have respected that, would have remained silent.

“I swear,” Logan says, fiercely passionate, “I have no intention of hurting your father, or your brothers, or you, in any shape or form. If I should do so, I would be a person who does not deserve you, your father, or your brothers in any shape or form anyways, as family or friends or even acquaintances.” He takes a deep breath, and Janus realizes his eyes are glittering with tears when he lifts his hand to wipe them away. “I did not mean to intrude on your family, and if you fear for your father around me, or dislike me that much, it is not my place to remain here. You will always be Virgil’s priority, as you should be, and I would never keep myself in his life if I made his son that unhappy.”

“Okay,” Janus says, voice small.

There is silence, after that, and much sniffling, and Janus thinks.

He thinks about his brothers, who have taken to the Abbotts so quickly. He thinks about Patton who, in the end, isn’t such a bad kid. He thinks about his dad, who seems so happy around Logan, who had asked them to keep an open mind that afternoon, who would be so sad if he had to break up with Logan, even for Janus’ sake, though he’d never say it.

He thinks about Logan, who seems so sincere, and who isn’t really anything like She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named, or any of the others who had made his dad cry, who Janus thinks he could like one day, who could maybe be his dad too.

“I guess you can stay,” Janus says, watching the TV carefully, and in the reflection, he can just barely see Logan relax. “For now.”

“Thank you, Janus,” he says.

“If you hurt my dad, though, I’ll kill you myself,” Janus tells him, and means it.

“I’d deserve it,” Logan answers simply, and for that, more than anything else, Janus starts to like Logan. He doesn’t laugh at the threat, or threaten him back, or even ignore it.

He takes it seriously. He considers it. And he finds it justified.

Yes, Janus thinks. With enough time, and maybe a little candy-related bribery (it is Halloween, after all) he could like Logan Abbott.

—

“I had a lovely time tonight,” Logan says. Patton is in the car, strapped into his carseat with the driver’s door open just in case, still sleeping away, and Virgil has long since put Janus to bed, too.

It is late. The moon is full overhead, a watchful eye on a quiet world, and it shines down on Logan and Virgil, who linger still in the doorway.

“I’m glad,” Virgil smiles, though the expression falters quickly. He reaches up to Logan’s cheek, finger brushing at a stray tear track. “Have you been crying?”

“Janus and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart,” he explains, intertwining his own fingers with those of Virgil’s free hand.

“The boys seemed to like you,” Virgil says, and though he looks no less concerned, he smiles anyways.

“I liked them too,” Logan laughs, a shy, soft thing. “And Patton adores you, of course. I knew he would.”

“I’d say I’m amazed they warmed up to you so quickly, but I’m not,” his boyfriend tells him, and grins, truly grins, mischievous and light and so full of love that it makes Logan feel dizzy. “You’re so wonderful, I’m surprised it took even that long.”

“Flirt,” Logan accuses, but he steps closer anyways. The night is chilly, but he hardly notices next to Virgil Carroll, who seems to exist to provide warmth and light to the universe. “They were very protective of you.”

“Perhaps they have reason to be,” Virgil says thoughtfully, smile widening. “What with you around, standing on my doorstep in the dead of night, not kissing your boyfriend goodbye. That ought to be a crime, I think. Look at me, associating with criminals. You’ve turned me bad already!”

Logan rolls his eyes but leans down to kiss Virgil anyways, a chaste, sweet thing that still manages to take his breath away. “You are incorrigible.”

“You love me and you know it,” Virgil tells him.

“I do,” Logan agrees. “Very much.”

They hug goodbye, and steal one or three or eight more goodbye kisses, and before he knows it Logan is driving away, off into the quiet of the moonlight.

There is something magical about Halloween, he has always thought. A magic of change, and of tricks, and of trust, too.

Virgil’s sons like me. A change.

They attempted to drive me away, but Virgil had warned me ahead of time that might be the case, so I did, admittedly, have the upper hand. A trick.

Janus, as of now, will let me stay. A trust, the trust of a boy who will do anything to protect his father.

Above all else, Logan decides, he will not betray that.

—

There are other Halloweens, of course, and there are other holidays, too. There are presents, and laughter, and the occasional argument, but one that is always resolved by the next day, and Janus receives that candy bribe, as well.

There are still omelet nights. There might always be. But now, instead of calling Uncle Remy, Virgil starts to call Logan, on these nights, seeking comfort when work goes badly or one of his sons is hurt or in the midst of just a truly bad day. And eventually, there will be no need for calls at all, for Logan is there to make toast and offer cuddles and tuck the boys in bed on those rough days, and, after he is supposed to be asleep, Janus will see his dad and a man who is almost, maybe, very close to being his father too, curled up together, offering support and comfort and love.

Logan has his bad days, too. And so do Janus, and Roman, and Remus, and Patton. But none of them have to face them alone.

One day, many Halloweens later, Janus will call Logan ‘Papa’ for the first time, sleepily, halfway through Hocus Pocus, and they will both cry, just a little bit.

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