#pictures of autistic child

[whatsittoya34]

[persefoneshalott]

I love evil children in media they're so fun

[milo-is-rambling]

OH MY GOD TODAY I SAW A SIGN WHILE DRIVING AND I ALMOST FUCKING TURNED AROUND TO GET A PICTURE OF IT IT WAS A YELLOW DIAMOND LIKE WARNING SIGN EXCEPT INSTEAD OF SAYING LIKE CHILDREN PLAYING IT JUST SAID “AUTISTIC CHILD”

[neverendingford]

.

[bear-do-well]

I want to line up all my dice

(this might be the most autistic phrase ever written)

textbook autism

[hey-burnsy]

I've started reading again. Enjoying books. Not just audio books. Not that audio books aren't books. They fit my lifestyle the best and allow me to experience all kinds of books without struggling to read them. I just discovered the dyslexia font that Libby has and it's actually night and day helpful. I'm reading The Picture of Dorian Gray and I am actually enjoying it. Anyway, I haven't actually read a physical book since highschool (almost 12 years ago... Holy shit that makes me feel old). I always struggled with reading. I used to like it but I think between struggling to get through them and probably being burnt out from the required reading program my school did, that kind of killed it for me. I'm glad to finally enjoy reading again.

EDIT:

If anyone has book recommendations, I am into mystery/suspence, classic lit, LGBT romcom, and adventure/fantasy.

[timkontheunsure]

Queer secondary adolescence and Stolas

(I keep forgetting to put this up here)

Ok, so Stolas being teen dad is one of the reasons I get annoyed when people say he's too horny with Blitz. Or that his relationship is too dramatic and teenager-y.

He's a queer guy who never got to be a teenager, didn't get to have a first boyfriend, or explore who he was. Or do any of the normal stuff most straight teenagers get to do.

His family stuffed him in the closet, forced him to have child, and gave him an abusive wife as jailer.

(He around 36, with a 17 year old daughter. 36−17=19 when Octavia was born. Likely married at 18).

He's got some chatting up to do.

Up till now his whole life's been about Via, and mitigating Stella's abuse to hid it from Via.

That's left him barely hanging on, taking an increasing amount of antidepressants; and singing lullabies about not being sure he'll make it till Via's grown up.... 🙁

There's this thing called second adolescence that alot of queer people experience, when they come out later in life.

It happens when they're weren't allowed to do normal teenage things at the right age. So things like having crushes, go on first dates, have extremely anxious dramatic relationships. As well just be a normal horny teenager.

Stolas got to do none of that. So he's doing it now.

He's also pretty obviously an autistic guy (separate post ), who didn't get well socialized as a child.

Blitz appears to have been his first and only really friend.

Stolas is not great at social cues. (He's so happy to be able to help with his special interest, but does realise his tone is upsetting Ozzie).

Even with Via he struggles to understand her. She needs to tell her dad flat out what she needs.

When she tries to be subtle, and snark he assumes it's just her being a moody teen. And that she'll enjoy loo loo land when she loosen up a bit.

Because of this lack Stolas mostly fills in gaps in his social experience with masking.

Such copying Gabriel hairstyle from helluva novella to get ready for his first ever date.

Following Blitz's lead of what to do in an uncomfortable situation.

And trying to match the energy of how Blitz first came on to him.

(He's definitely getting better at it from Blitz reaction).

There's also an idea in CBT called reparenting your inner child. Which about giving yourself some the support, and experiences you missed out on because of abuse.

Stolas needs to go through his secondary adolescence as part of his recovery from his abuse.

So let Stolas be a little horny weirdo. 😛

PS this one will brake you heart. Stolas is standing fully in both these pictures.

You can see how much he's grown by her light switch.

Kid hasn't even reached his full adult height yet when he had to have a kid.

[importantanimalstories]

I'm not sure why, but people still ask us why we place service dogs with children sometimes. Let me help you understand, from a momma who knows first hand: See this moment? I've never experienced a moment like this. This picture was taken near the end of the day after my autistic five-year-old was finally able to sit down with his new Service Dog Tornado. He flew across the entire ocean, stopped in multiple states, and uprooted his entire routine to travel the globe for this. He was so overwhelmed through the day that he had to leave to take a break for a couple hours before he could come back. This boy is the strongest child I have ever met; he has faced countless rude and ignorant adults and children who do not understand him, who have hurt him, and who have not valued him because he is different. This picture captures the face of a mother who saw her child, who she can't hug, wash, dress, snuggle and touch freely lay on his new Service dog of his own free will, with a purposeful unspoken attachment. This is the face of a mom who has seen her son experience countless failed social interactions on the playground in an attempt to have a friend. Any friend. Any kind of connection. She has sat with her son while he has cried at night for months because he has no consistent connections outside of the family no matter how hard he tries and no matter what he works hard on in his Autism therapies. It doesn't transfer to the natural occurring world for him. And now she is sitting behind her son silently watching this moment, with the air sucked from her lungs, and no words to say. Holding her mouth and silently crying because she doesn't want to distract him from the moment and break him away from a pure, honest, and truly fulfilling moment for her son of his own free will. This is truly magic. Words cannot explain it. I have cried so many times for this boy, but this is the very first time I have cried for a reason like this. It's new, it's painful, it's wonderful, and it's grateful. I will always stand behind this boy (probably still crying ) but I am grateful that he will have Tornado to stand beside him. The 4 Paws magic is real. The wait is long, but this moment right here makes it worth every moment of waiting. It's worth every fight for services for my son, every diagnosis, every new provider, every dollar spent, every paper filled out, every school meeting, every shed tear, every step forward, every step back, and every wonder of the unknown future. Somehow because of this- because of Tornado- I know everything will be okay.

[drdrizzey]

Late Halloween drawing!!

The good old Creepypastas from the mid 2017s are what basically got me into drawing and art in general. I quite literally started off just to make fanarts of them and boy, I made so much. I know some of those characters are outdated now but I don't want anyone to feel offended from me drawing them, that's really just a really nostalgic Fanart for me with the classic found family dynamic we loved!! Then later on I really got into those slenderverse ARGs and especially marble hornets and again, I filled sketchbooks just with marble hornets comics and fanarts so thats also something lmao

I had a hard time choosing who to draw here arggh

My inner child heals a bit more every time I draw any Slenderverse and Creepypasta character or even my old Creepypasta ocs

Also I want to add a disclaimer that I do not ship Creepypasta characters with anyone and that to me, they always acted all like siblings to each other! (Saying that because I know some people are really sensitive about ship art in this peculiar fandom and I agree that's a tricky one, but for me they've always just been a big silly family in their spooky manor, having fun)

Here's some dynamics I love and loved picturing them with :

- sally is the cute little sister that nobody can say no to and she KNOWS it, she WILL make everyone play dress up with pink ribbons and no one can do anything about it

- Jeff is a really good big brother to her and really tries his best for that

- Masky is 100% the tired big brother having to care for all of his annoying siblings. Since he's a proxy, Slenderman especially asked him to keep an eye on them and to quote, "give them what they ask for and not letting them break stuff or argue too much" which leads him quite often to having to drive to MacDonalds at 3am, because one of them whined for it. He also pretends he hates it but in reality he really cares about them. Also headcanon, this is some alternative version of Tim/Masky from marble hornets because we'll, obviously this is supposed to be Masky and somehow some people literally dont know where he comes from and just twinkifies him (which is a jumpscare to me because tim is literally amazing, hello?but a lot of people seemed to not know where he came from, well go watch marble hornets if you havent its awesome (i'm looking at yall tma and mouthwashing fans, you WILL love it too)

- my HC for Toby is that the guy has a lot going on but he's also not a kid, i like seeing him in his twenties or so. And he loves ranting about really random stuff just to annoy pretty much anyone and especially Masky because he doesn't complain much, and if he does then Toby will just find it even funnier and follow him around, explaining to him like...I don't know random stuff like describing his whole feed of cat videos or something or internet drama

(also that's not a mischaracterization of them as characters it's just my version of them in the way my little autistic brain in sixth grade pictured them, which means very non canon inaccurate)

Here's the fun reference I used :

[chaos-in-deepspace]

Stalker Zayne (but he's our autistic husband who really sucks at being a stalker)

Again, this isn't how I portray these characters, but this is a soft yandere take on Zayne, and how I would personally write him if I were to go a stalker route series. He's just a baby though guys. (ngl if I ever wanted to be real fucked up and just throw all caution to the wind with who he is as a character, I could think of so many ideas for a horror version of Zayne since he's in the medical field)

Stalker Zayne who became obsessed with you as a small child. From the moment you two met and he made eye contact he was smitten and didn't even know the reason why.

Stalker Zayne who never knew what to say growing up because he was always worried he might accidentally confess.

Stalker Zayne who hated Caleb, because Caleb knew something about him wasn't exactly pure with his intentions. Caleb would always be there when you hung out with Zayne because he didn't trust Zayne in the slightest.

Stalker Zayne who had to move away, but before he did he made sure to steal a pen that belonged to you. For years it was the only pen he'd use for anything, and even now he keeps it on his desk at work.

Stalker Zayne who found out through his parents that you had a heart condition, and decided then and there to specialize in cardiology, because there was no way he'd ever trust someone else to be able to take care of you.

Stalker Zayne who busted his ass in school to become one of the youngest doctors in Linkon City. He specifically decided to work under Dr. Noah because he knew that he was your current primary care doctor. He would see you from afar at the hospital, but never made himself known.

Stalker Zayne who saw an opportunity when Dr. Noah was retiring. Dr. Noah was originally going to have Dr. Greyson be your primary while Zayne was just your cardiologist, however Zayne assured him that it would be easier to have him as your primary as well so you'd have less appointments to worry about.

Stalker Zayne who went through every single medical record of yours, memorizing every aspect of you. From your height, weight, to your average resting heart rate. He even memorized your cycle.

Stalker Zayne who was nervous for your first appointment with him and was colder than he intended to be with you. You had given him your phone to put in his number. He knew he shouldn't, but he told you he'd put his number in while you were getting your vitals done. He used the extra time to install a tracking app onto your phone.

Stalker Zayne who overhears all your conversations with the nurses and other doctors. He'd sometime hear about you from other hunters who worked alongside you. He collected every bit of information about you.

Stalker Zayne who hears your going on a mission, and decides to volunteer to be a field medic for the mission. Every. Single. Time. You think he's just passionate about helping people out, but really it's because he simply doesn't trust your care with anyone else. If you're injured, he's the one who's putting you back together and then scolding you for being reckless.

Stalker Zayne who had gained the trust of Granny enough for him to hear about you through her. Granny of course approved of Zayne, unlike Caleb.

Stalker Zayne who makes sure to be there to comfort you. He again knows how wrong it is, but he knows the easiest way to manipulate someone is while they're going through some things. He also can't help but feel a bit relieved that Caleb is out of the picture, as heinous at that is and how shameful he felt for the feelings.

Stalker Zayne who begins using his tracking app on your phone to find out restaurants and cafes you visit, and around the times, so he can be there before you and invite you to sit with him.

Stalker Zayne who is writing you notes, saying your heart condition requires you to rest. He makes sure it's whenever he has a handful of days off. He practically forces you to take a few days off because of your 'health' despite all your vitals being healthy. He just needs an excuse to spend two days with you, being a caring friend and concerned doctor who's simply taking care of his favorite patient.

Stalker Zayne who will sometimes check your location when you tell him you're hanging out with coworkers. If he has free time he'll follow you around from the shadows as best he can. If he notices you looking at something that's caught your eyes, he'll buy it later. When he gives it to you, he claims he thought you'd like it, and how it reminded him of you.

Stalker Zayne who always uses the excuse of not liking to go to social events and it would be better if you came along, just so he can show you off. He'll never correct anyone who thinks you're a couple pre relationship, and he'll always have his hand on your back while moving around because "I don't want you getting lost in this crowd."

Stalker Zayne who will sometimes invite you to his place for dinner after his shift. It's already later in the evening, and he'll purposefully drink a glass of wine along with you, just so when you say you should head back he can tell you he can't drive since he's been drinking. It's too late for the trains, so it looks like you'll have to stay in his very nice guest room that conveniently has some plushies in it that you two had gotten together. You get woken up with a homecooked breakfast and a very satisfied Zayne.

Stalker Zayne who hears about a work event you have and will do everything he can to not have work. If he managed to get off and you invite him (after he subtly replies it seemed fun), he's not drinking, but makes sure to pay for all your drinks. He drives you back to him home afterwards because "You're too drunk to be by yourself. You know drinking can effect your heart health, I need to monitor you."

Stalker Zayne who invites you to Snowcrest to visit Dr. Noah, knowing there's only one guest room. He offers to sleep on the pullout bed, but ends up staying up almost all night watching you sleep on the bed above him. He's used to pulling all-nighters, after all, and this seemed like a nice way to spend his night.

Stalker Zayne who says he's not the jealous type, but when he sees you saw Dr. Greyson for an appointment, he's giving his colleague the cold shoulder, and also demanding your records since he's your primary and needs to know what you came in for. He eventually gets over it, but Greyson is now wary about seeing you as a patient.

Stalker Zayne who sees one of the residents flirting with you, and the hallway seems to grow colder as he approaches you two. The resident who had just gotten to the point of seeing Zayne as a kind person is quickly wiped away when he realizes just how protective he is over his favorite patient.

Stalker Zayne who knows that dating a patient is a conflict of interest, but since he's the only qualified doctor for your heart condition in the area, uses it as an excuse to go ahead with it anyway.

Stalker Zayne who manages to finally begin dating you, and is spending any free time he has by your side. If he has to fly out for something, he's inviting you along. When you claim you can't because of work, he gets upset but makes sure to message you ever day.

Stalker Zayne who just knows all your favorite meals. You never told him, but he knows them all. You ask him one day, and he claims he's just noticed you seem to light up when you ate it before. When you comment you've never eaten this with him, he'll look confused and lie and come up with a quick story of one time as children eating it with him. He's so convincing you believe him.

Stalker Zayne who will sometimes use his evol to lower his body temperature and act as if he had an episode, just because he knows whenever he does you press up against him and he can hold you in his arms until he's feeling better.

Stalker Zayne who gives you a house key and tells you that you're welcome to visit even if he's not there. He never tells you about the several security cameras he has set up in the house. The only rooms without them are the restrooms and your room the guest room. When he's gone he's constantly checking them to see what you're up to in his home.

Stalker Zayne who notices you get sick and will use that as an excuse to stay at your apartment because "It could get worse, are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital. Even a cold can be dangerous with a heart condition." if you still say no, then he's not leaving your side.

Stalker Zayne who has had matching rings for you since medical school. he had seen them and purchased them on impulse and has kept them for the day you were finally his. He will sometimes look at them and imagine you holding them.

Dawnbreaker who is terrified for you, because only he can see what goes through Zayne's head. Only he can see what the future might hold for you if you continue to let him obsess over you.

This isn't how I portray Zayne at all, but once again we gotta keep with the obsessive yandere theme. I kept his pretty tame all things considered. If I went normal yandere for him then Dawnbreaker really gonna be terrified. I used to write hardcore yandere things back in my younger years. I can't do that to Zayne though.

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

it's not yet Jason jfriday where I live but yes!!! happy day to our favorite lil guy

happy fabulous jason friday 🗣️🗣️

[satellitespinner]

✼ mommy issues .. (one)

a/n: oh did you think this was gonna be a cute lil fluff fic? nahh it’s sad city down there!! be careful..

content warnings: ANGST panic attacks.. hurt (no comfort.) joel is dead. ellie’s a lil sad :/// ellie’s a lil anxious… ellie’s a projection of me.. ANYWAYS. reader and ellie are kinda the same but different ??? swearing ofc.. reader is very much okay with being a lesbian ! and she’s on good terms with the baby fawtha cause what! ellie is not fond of children apparently?? she also might be autistic.

wc: 2k.

taglist: @flowersforvi @diddiqueen @ellslvr @saturnsdrafts @3lli3l0v3r @williamssgirl @liasxeatt @adelaide013 @a-little-bit-of-everybody @elliessweetheart @pedropascalsbbg @ellies2missingfingers @nelzooo @r3starttt @jaeminpookie @onlinelesbo @tphmnv @p4ison1vy @pascals-doll @snowy-vee @diddiqueen

ellie grew up around masculinity, thats why people assume she is the way she is. but ellie can assure that her brain would work the exact same way if she had a mother.

plus, she had joel. that was really all she needed. she still knew how to be a woman. it’s not like she grew up without a mother and didn’t know anything about herself.

2 WEEKS AND 4 DAYS AGO..

ellie sighed and threw the white stained towel over her shoulder. fuck she muttered under her breath as she read yet another email.

ATTENTION STUDENTS!

You will all be required to purchase the following textbooks in order to complete the course - They will help immensely in the upcoming exam. I recommend reading carefully and thoroughly.

Sincerely,

Prof Morgan.

all 5 of the books linked in the email were over $150.00 each. how the fuck was she supposed to work that out? all while paying her own tuition, rent and utilities.

“yo, williams!” her manager jesse yelled, interrupting her calculations.

“breaks over.” he snatches the towel from her shoulder and makes his way back into the kitchen with it in tow.

she scoffs and shoves her phone back into her polyester pocket. jesse’s head pops back into the room “oh and” he starts before turning to her. “you’re training today” she scoffs and lifts herself off the chair.

“is that even in my job description?” she follows him out of the kitchen once again.

“sure it is, i just described it to you.” he winks, ellie huffs.

the sky had dimmed by the time ellies shift was over. skating home was gonna be a bitch.

“you need a ride home?” dina places a hand atop her shoulder, a helpful smile on her face. ellie really wanted to say no. she’s been asking for help from others so much lately.

“no, uhh- i’ll get home t’night. thanks dee.” she nods as she grabs her skateboard from her locker. have the trucks always been this lose?

“no, i insist.” dina presses. she pulls out her keys and throws her bag over her shoulder.

“let’s go, my child.” she giggles at the nickname. ellies shoulders relax.

“thanks again, i really appreciate it.” ellie said, her tone laced with genuine gratitude. dina dismisses her with a hand flick. “don’t even sweat it.” she bragged. “now get goin, it’s late.”

ellie pushes the car door open with a steady grip on her skateboard. her smile falters as she waves dina off.

she unlocks her door with a trembling hand, she hated being alone.

the picture of her and joel neatly placed beside the coat rack mocked her as she placed her skateboard down in its dedicated spot. she stared into the picture until the colors morphed into one big glob.

the loss of not just a parent, but her only parent cut her deep. she could barely lift her head for the first while, nevermind go to work. she should be proud of herself! but she isn’t.

how could she be? she felt like everyone else in her life was doing so much with themselves. dina had a kid for fucks sake! dina had a whole kid and ellie couldn’t even get to class on time.

“fuck.” she muttered as she placed her keys down. bills upon bills were flooding the kitchen counter. tears burned at her eyes, blurring her eyesight.

i look so pathetic right now. she thought. a slight chuckle leaving her throat at that.

she tried to blink back the tears but she couldn’t, they just kept coming.

her silent whimpers quickly turned to snotty sobs as her chest heaved in and out involuntarily. she placed a heavy hand on her heart as she slid down the kitchen cabinet. soon enough she found herself completely breathless and wailing.

she eventually calmed herself through deep breaths and a cold glass of water. as she does through every panic attack, although the melancholic feeling always lingered.

after joels death ellie could never find herself truly happy. especially not in an environment where he was everything, everytime she turned around she was reminded of the man who wasn’t even her real father.

nothing was really hers.

she made her way down the dark, dusty hallway to her bedroom. desks adorned with pictures of her and joel. she ignored them this time.

she stripped of her uniform and took to the shower. the water burning her skin till it turned red. she scrubbed harshly at her scalp and body. she smelt like grease. gross.

the after shower feeling made her feel a bit better. she grabbed her toothbrush and rinsed it before wiping a glob of colgate toothpaste on the bristles and shoving it in her mouth.

ellie chased sleep for what felt like an eternity. her damp hair scratching at her neck was definitely a part of the problem.

thank god she didn’t work saturdays..

the first 30 seconds of ellie’s day were complete bliss, usually. but not today.

today ellie woke up to the obnoxious sound of a child crying. she decided right then and there that the universe hates her and wants her to die. (but she thinks that about everyone in her life..)

she scoffs and walks over to the curtains, her own padded feet already annoying her.

she peeks out the curtain only to be met with a u-haul and an suv parked in the driveway next door.

new neighbors, how wonderful. and they had a whiny kid! perfect.

she continues watching out the window until she sees you hand off the kid to its father. her eyes follow you until you step into the u-haul and start dragging boxes out. that’s when she sighs and decides to get ready for the day. even though she doesn’t want to.

your entire life you were desperate to be equal. to be taken seriously. you craved maturity.

you spent your entire childhood chasing adulthood. you were desperate to grow up. you didn’t know it then, but you would regret it.

the one thing you didn’t regret, was felix. the baby that you got out of your last relationship. that was before you realized you were very much a lesbian..

“cmon baby, just put your shoe on.” you struggled against the child in the backseat as he wailed. the sound was excruciating.

“please- can you just let mommy put your shoe on?” you gritted as you attempted to shove the shoe onto her other foot.

“no!” he screamed, almost directly into your face. that was it.

“you know what? fuck it.” you muttered the last words under your breath. truthfully you already weren’t setting a good example, but hey! let not say fuck infront of our kid!

you gave up on the shoes and shushed him gently as you undid his seatbelt from his car seat. you placed him in the arms of his father, tossing the shoe into his dinosaur covered backpack.

he slowly came down from his tantrum as he placed his head on his dads shoulder.

“you sure you don’t need me to help unpack?” your ex asks, unsure of leaving you behind with an entire house to furnish.

“yep! i’m good!” you smile. you gently kiss your baby’s forehead before shutting your car door.

the father nods in response. “just text if you need and we will be here. isn’t that right felix?” he asks the child who nods profusely.

“of course mama!” he shouts causing you and his dad to laugh. “well alright then!” you rush, it was still early but you were eager to get to your gardening before dark.

you watch as your ex buckles the kid in and situated himself in the car, before pulling out of the driveway he rolls down felixs window.

you blow kisses as the pull out of the driveway and take off to ‘the old house’ in your sons words.

as soon as the car is out of sight you make your way over to the U-Haul.

you’re so focused on getting this last box out of the truck that you don’t even feel the presence creep up behind you.

“hey did you need some hel-”

“what the fuck!”

you jump in fear before turning around. being faced with a red headed, green eyed girl.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry.” she apologizes calmly. an awkward look on her face as you stare at her wide eyed.

you chuckle lightly before putting your hands on your hips. “it’s alright, hon.” you reassure.

you two just awkwardly stare at eachother for a few seconds before ellie finally speaks up again.

“i saw you struggling. did you want some help?” she asks. her eyes drifting to the box filled with gardening tools.

“oh that would be amazing!” you said before wiping the sweat of your forehead.

ellies eyes follow a droplet of seat down your neckline all the way down your cleavage. she finds herself licking her lips

before you introduce yourself.

she darts her eyes back up to your own, praying that you didn’t see her blatantly check you out. “i’m- i’m ellie.” she jumps over her words.

since when did you not know how to speak, idiot? she internally face palms before walking over to pick up the box.

“where do you want this?” she asks with a grunt as she steadys the box in her arms.

“just over here” you direct, letting her follow you as you walked over to the side of the house. she follows you and sets the box down with ease. she jokingly wipes the dirt off of her hands before nodding and starting to walk off.

“oh sweetie! i don’t wanna be a bother but would you mind helping me with one more thing?”

you must’ve been magic because somehow you swindled ellie into helping you with almost everything, and she was totally fine with it.

currently you were both at your kitchen island, laughing over a bottle of wine.

ellie had confided in you about school and you had rambled to her about what it’s like to be a mother.

“yeah, i mean- besides pregnancy it’s not all that bad.” you admit. ellie’s face shifts at the mention of pregnancy.

“i don’t know if i could ever have a baby inside me. i think i’d like- die.?” she questions. “not that i would of course” she giggles. your face becomes a look of confusion.

“no boyfriend? or just not one for kids?” you ask. you totally forgot that it’s very possible for her to be-

“i’m a lesbian” she answers and takes another sip of wine. her eyes watching your face for any negative reaction.

you clap your hands over your mouth quickly. now it seems obvious.

“i am so sorry, that totally slipped my mind.” she laughs at your attempts to redeem yourself.

“it’s totally chill, don’t worry.” she reassures, a smile on her face.

“i am too, actually.” you admit, it was your first time admitting it to someone other than yourself of your now ex husband.

“oh i was just gonna ask if that was your husband out there earlier.” she fidgets with the rings on her fingers as she asks.

“well, ex. it’s not easy to find a baby sitter that actually takes care of my kid these days.” you admit to her. she ponders for a slight moment before speaking up again.

“well, if you’re looking. i’m usually free during the day, i work nights most of the time.” she offers up. she wasn’t really sure why. she wasn’t even a fan of kids.

“really?!” it looks like your eyes had bulged out of your head. “god that would be amazing! i’ll pay you!”

ellie didn’t hear anything besides ‘i’ll pay you’ that’s all she needed to know.

“yeah of course. i’ll take him.” she confirmed.

that night ellie left with your phone number and a smidge of hope in her heart.

[tealvenetianmask]

Hell's royalty has a culture that enables Stella's abusive behavior.

Point 1: Keeping up appearances is valued above all else. And I specifically mean the appearance of things being the way they're supposed to be. Conformity basically.

Conformity in this culture seems to include a kind of stoic dignity ("you know excitement is unbecoming of a goetia"), an air of superiority ("don't bow to that one- he bows to us!"), and, of course, some good old fashioned toxic masculinity ("cease this bitch crying").

Individuals at the very top are not immune. Even though he gets past it, Asmodeus seems to spend a lot of time and effort on keeping his relationship with Fizz quiet in order to keep up the appearance of fulfilling his "lust" role.

Point 2: The members of the aristocracy who don't conform are seen as the problem, not the members who are being cruel.

Speaking of Ozzie, there's a chance he'll face real consequences for getting out of line . . . Mammon seems pretty confident about getting revenge. Also, if Ozzie had decided that his reputation was important enough to avoid stepping in to help his partner, well . . . I'm just saying. Cultures of conformity create bystanders who stand by and let abuse happen. So it's good that this guy has the courage (and a good heap of privilege and power) to enable him to step out. Yes, I realize that the crowd at Mammon's celebrated Ozzie and Fizz, but the crowd was distinctly NOT aristocratic.

Now look at Stella's party- this woman is not subtle about being cruel to her husband.

She calls the party a "Not Divorced" party. She openly talks negatively about Stolas in a blatant attempt to humiliate him. She's not trying to hide that she hates the man.

Because he's . . . an oddball. Gentle, not as polished as others in his social sphere, awkward and mostly friendless, probably autistic. And importantly, I think, not traditionally masculine.

So Stella has no need to hide that she treats him poorly. She's proud of it. And her social circle seems to support her in it, or at least, they don't push back. Because based on the aristocracy's unspoken (or if we look at Paimon, very much spoken) value system, Stolas's failure to fulfill all of his expected roles gracefully is worse than Stella's cruelty.

Point 3: Stolas's parenting, while much better than his own father's, still reflects this value system in some ways, and that's . . . complicated.

In some ways, Octavia is doing great. She has her own interests (music! gothy fashion!) that don't seem to be based on any role prescribed to her by others. She has a genuine bond with her dad that's based on care and not on molding her into some ideal princess.

But Stolas still puts on an facade in front of Via. We know that he pretended things were fine when they distinctly weren't for most of her childhood. We could argue endlessly about whether Stolas was right (as Georgia Dow explained in her video) or wrong to stop himself from explaining the situation with Stella to Via in Loo Loo Land, but honestly, the man could let his nearly grown up daughter know that abuse was happening without all out trauma dumping. It would enable her to make more informed decisions, and I think she would want to be able to do that.

Instead, Stolas keeps it to himself. Because he feels like Via SHOULD have this picture perfect childhood. Look at the pictures that are up in his palace. Look at his attempt to gloss over the fighting in the household by taking Via to an idealized childhood destination.

A part of him still thinks that good parenting is keeping up appearances, and that the ugly things are best kept hidden. Look at how hard he still tries to avoid crying in front of people. The values he was taught as a child are part of him.

And while it's not his fault (it's Stella's fault, obviously- these are HER actions), his inability to be open allows Stella and Andrealphus to scheme and (we'll see . . .) probably manipulate Via because of her lack of knowledge.

We're meant to see the moments where Stolas breaks expectations and behaves raw and even a little unhinged as triumphant. Sleeping with Blitz. That is the sound of a fucking divorce. Actually going through with the fucking divorce. Insisting on it. Appearances be damned.

And yeah, more of that please. Because if the people around Stella stop caring about aristocratic social trappings, all she'll have going for her is her shitty personality.

Thanks @akirathedramaqueen for inspiring this post with a conversation.

[grneyedmonster15]

The circumstances surrounding Nex Benedict’s death are so frightening to me. Little kids getting bullied and murdered just for existing as their authentic selves is horrific on its own, but it’s even worse that this murder was instigated by that fascist terrorist Chaya Raichik and that this same fascist terrorist was appointed to an Oklahoma Board of Education library media advisory committee by an apparently equally fascist superintendent. On top of that, I heard that the school punished Nex, the *victim* of this vicious attack, rather than the perpetrators.

Now law enforcement is claiming Nex didn’t die of trauma from the assault, which is absolute horseshit because even if it turns out their head injury wasn’t the immediate cause of death, their death was still a direct and foreseeable result of being terrorized and assaulted by other kids and then being punished by the school for being victimized.

Nex’s death was especially jarring to me because they looked a lot like my youngest child, who is pansexual. My heart lurched when I saw their picture. I was already worried about my child’s safety at school because we live in a red area, because my child has been bullied before over being autistic, and because of our country’s absolute failure to address gun violence, but now that the fascists are ramping up their terrorism against LGBTQIA children, I’m absolutely terrified for my child.

[irenespring]

So I rewatched the House episode about the autistic child wherein Wilson correctly diagnoses House as being on the spectrum and then seemingly goes back on it for no valid reason. The most likely reason for this is writer cowardice (they didn't want to have to deal with a canon autistic character), but allow me to present a conspiracy theory: Wilson is autistic.

He has only one friend, who is also on the spectrum, because that friend alone can see and appreciate the side of him he usually hides. He has the same random interests as this friend. He seems to be the only one to understand what his friend is trying to say. He gives House second chance after second chance because he knows what it is like to miscommunicate/tries to give benefit of the doubt.

Most of his social interactions are extremely surface level: he has a pleasant script he sticks to, either for flirting, talking to a patient, or just talking to any random nt person. He gets married to people he doesn't let past the mask both because he wants to conform to social standards. He does it again because he thinks he just messed up the script last time and this time he will get it right. He cheats because he doesn't instinctively link sex and intimacy--what he grasps as a standard mistake is actually a betrayal. This also might explain why his most intimate relationship is with House, the person he doesn't script around, even though they never have canon sex.

He wants to be needed because when he can help people he feels like he is doing socializing right. When someone no longer needs him, he panics, because he either has to stop scripting or increase scripting, and both scare him.

He is also extremely specific about his routines and preferences, and gets annoyed when they are disrupted. He is paralyzed by open-ended decisions: when he is turned loose in a furniture store, he can't make a single choice because there are so many.

Wilson is extremely invested in scripting, to the point where he flees relationships when it no longer works. He spends all day every day trying very hard to be the picture perfect doctor, spouse, friend, etc. So when House is dealing with sensory issues around the carpet, he helps by explaining to Cuddy something he alone of the other characters understands. But when he talks to House about it, he blows this understanding off. In his mind, he works so hard to be so nice, so therefore it is possible, even if damages him. He probably doesn't know it damages him to the extent it does. Therefore, he insists House's behavior isn't because he's autistic, but rather because he's just an ass. Because if autism is an excuse to not mask, he hasn't needed to mask this whole time.

Not saying I'm wholly invested in this theory, but *imitates House's voice* "it fits."

[olenvasynyt]

@kateprincessofbluewhales made this post about high fae aging and how the older high fae should look like they’re 40s-50s instead of 20-30 and I completely agree and I wanted it show this insane headcanon that I made charts for because I’m crazy lmao. I thought the high fae aging was so confusing and badly written but I really needed to understand it!

So how I think the High Fae age is this: the child grows at a steady rate that appears the same as how a human ages. So when they are one year old they look like they’re one, when they’re 5 they look like they’re 5, etc until we get to approx. when a high fae puberty starts. Mor got her bleeding late, she got it when she was 16, (as seen by the red dot I wrote her age wrong sorry). I headcanon the average age of puberty starts around 12-13 which is about the same as a human’s.

But when the high fae begins their development, this is when the age in appearance starts a logarithmic growth rate. It comes quickly in the beginning but begins to rapidly decrease as they age. Mor is 16 when she got her first bleeding so she might have appeared a little younger; Rhys (purple mark), was in his thirties when he was fighting in the Human War so he might have appeared 19 or 20.

This time in a high fae’s life is when their magic is developing, and it stops developing when they reach maturity, which is 80 years old. I put a teal mark for Tarquin, which works out because I always saw him to be 20 or in his early twenties. And at 80, their age in appearance evens out to a rate that is almost impossible to notice until you expand it out.

So that purple mark is Rhys’ age at ~500 years old. And I always pictured him to look like he’s in his late 20’s early 30’s so this steady growth matches up perfectly.

And this also works well with the idea that High fae children are rare. So they are rare because they’re hard to conceive and because they age rapidly compared to the immortal high fae life.

And if we expand this out further, this growth rate matches up with how I always see Beron, so I always pictured him middle-aged so approximately 50. And with this rate, he would be about 1,500 years old which I think is perfect because I headcanon that Beron was near the same age as Rhys’ father.

And if we expand this further, we can see Madja and how old I think she could be.

Madja is confusing to me and we know almost nothing about her. But Feyre describes her to be ancient looking: she’s got white hair, she has wrinkles, her hands are wrinkled and knobbly. So in my head, I pictured her looking like she’s about 80 or 90. And with this growth rate, she would be about 4,000 years old. Which makes sense to me.

We don’t know when High fae usually die. They’re immortal, but even this immortality has a limit. Amren said that she was immortal before in her previous form, and she says not immortal like the high fae but Immortal. So Madja might be in a high fae’s elderly stage. And also she’s pretty rare too we haven’t seen another eldery high fae because a high fae usually doesn’t have a safe life that allows them to live this long. They had the war, they have these very competitive lives, they love fighting in battles to the death.

So yeah, that was my very autistic explanation of my very specific headcanon for how the high fae age in ACOTAR lmao