#picard in the first one going oh fuck no

[evviejo]

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - S4E25 In Theory

[tribblefarmer]

Murderbot Media Review

How Murderbot feels about Star Trek: The Next Generation

(I’m going to mostly focus on the show, not the movies)

Pros:

The right kind of unrealistic +3

Lots of content +2

Large ensemble cast with recurring side characters +2

adventure/action serial with enough interpersonal drama to be interesting +2

No SecUnits +1

Anti-corporate message +2

The humans are friends with each other (and the alien crew members) +3

I think it would enjoy the practical effects, the CR probably overwhelmingly uses CGI. +1

Humans on a ship show, ART would enjoy watching with it. +5

Cons:

Too many sex scenes (but at least they’re off screen) -1

Bad things keep happening to security personnel -1

Why the fuck are there juvenile humans and civilians on this ship that regularly engages in combat? -1

Too much philosophy -1

The borg creep it out (Alien remnant contamination) -2

Data (hear me out) (will score in separate section)

Pros+Cons score= 15

Characters (by the order listed in the season one credits): 

Jean-luc Picard -  8/10

A good leader with a strong moral backbone who can keep his head in a crisis. He reminds it of Doctor Mensah. 

It likes that he mostly stays safe on the ship and listens to advice from his crew.

His constant philosophizing is a bit off putting. 

William T Riker- 5/10

Oh gross he’s making out with someone again.

Overall it likes him, but doesn’t have a strong opinion.

Geordi LaForge- 7/10

Augmented human

Seems like someone it would feel safe around

It likes that he’s friends with Data without talking down to him.

Tasha Yarr- 9/10

The Chief of Security!

Its favorite character in season one

Projects on to her a little,

It feels so uncomfortable about what happens in The Naked Now though.

It was so pissed off by the end of season one that it quit watching for a whole cycle.

Worf- 8/10

The new Chief of Security

Mixed feelings at first but grows to like him

Wishes the humans would listen to him more

Likes that he gets to be grumpy without consequences

Relates to him as a non-human who has to keep his identity in a human world

It is fairly ambivalent to Klingon culture and their focus on combat and pain, but likes the political drama.

Beverly Crusher- 7/10

Mom energy like Doctor Mensah

It likes and respects her

It finds her drawn out will they/won’t they romance with Picard a bit annoying. Just pick one and stick with it already.

It calls the romance annoying but it’s invested in the drama.

Deanna Troi- 5/10

Bharadwaj energy. Sometimes it feels a bit attacked by her keen observations.

It would not want to encounter someone with empathic powers irl, It’s annoying enough that ART can read its emotions in the feed.

Hates all her romances except what she’s got going on with Riker.

Mixed feelings about her being married to Worf in that one parallel universe.

Data- 2/10

Data makes it deeply uncomfortable.

Reminds it of Miki.

The crew’s human-form pet robot, except technically none of them own him.

It hates that he wants to be human.

It hates that he’s “fully functional.”

Why does Data get to live without a guardian but not it? It’s not jealous.

Whenever the question of whether Data is sentient comes up it gets really angry.

It doesn’t like how the rest of the crew are condescending to him sometimes. They just communicate with him badly.

Data is friendly, social, wants to be human, is a scientist, and experiments with art and literature. Is this what its humans want it to be? Will it ever be enough?

Has an emotion whenever he calls someone his friend or vice versa.

Roots for him in the courtroom episode though

It says it hates Data but pays more attention to him than any other character.

Wesley Crusher- 6/10

Juvenile human

He’s annoying but it also feels protective of him.

It doesn’t like how his character arc ends. It wanted him to graduate and rejoin the crew permanently. 

Q (honorable mention)- 8/10

Threat assessment high

Annoyance assessment max

It does think it’s funny that he puts humanity on trial for being shitty though.

Character score=65

(Murderbot likes drama serials, which are typically character driven, so this is the most heavily weighted section.)

Favorite episodes:

Encounter at Farpoint S1E1 & S1E2 +2

Redemption S4E26 & S5E1 +4

The Next Phase S5E24 +3

Attached S7E8 +2

Least favorite episodes:

The Schizoid Man S2E6 -1

Data’s Day S4E11 -1

In Theory S4E25 -3

Sub Rosa S7E14 -1

Most emotion-inducing episodes:

The Measure of a Man S2E9 -2,+3

The Hunted S3E11 -1,+3

The Offspring S3E16 -2,+3

The Most Toys S3E22 -2,+1

The Quality of Life S6E9 -1,+1

Episode bonus score= 8

Total score= 88/100

I think Murderbot would like Star Trek: The Next Generation a lot, and ART would enjoy watching it with it too. It would enjoy the characters, drama, and action, but be challenged by the way machine intelligences are portrayed in the show because of its own complicated feelings about itself.

If you want me to do a Murderbot review of another piece of media, send me an ask! These are not necessarily my opinions on this piece of media, they are what I imagine Murderbot would think. (I love Data.)

[quasi-normalcy]

Star Trek series rated by horniness (as rated by me, an asexual, so you know its objective):

Star Trek: The Original Series - what is there to say for the series that invented slashfic, fuck-or-die, and Thiess's theory of titillation in costuming? The universe is full of greased-up pecs and scantily clad women wondering what is this thing you call...love? It's easier to mention the episodes that *aren't* horny. 10/10, for how could it be otherwise?

Star Trek: The Animated Series - It's a Saturday morning cartoon series from the 70s, and yet... 3/10, for the surprising number of scantily clad muscular guys

Star Trek: The Next Generation - Oh, we *start* quite horny; Roddenberry is keen to let us know that the android has a penis in the second episode; but then Roddenberry dies, and by the final season even Troi is wearing a sensible duty uniform. 6/10 for Will Riker, though

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - We've got Quark's, where the women are scantily clad, the holosuites are for fucking, and the waiters give themselves ear infections from doing too much oo-mox on themselves. We've got Jadzia Dax, who has three hundred years worth of sexcapades in two genders and will tell you about them at the drop of a hat. We've got Bashir and his sad blue balls for the first two seasons. We've got Klingons breaking each other's clavicles to initiate coitus. And we've got an enemy power led by the perpetual mind-melting gangbang that canonically is the Great Link. 9/10

Star Trek: Voyager - Weirdly conservative in its sexual politics. I mean, it goes out of its way to stick poor Jeri Ryan in that body condom, and there's a whole episode about space whales wanting to fuck the ship, and another one about Janeway wanting to fuck an Irishman, and *two* episodes about Pon Farr...actually, you know what? 6/10.

Star Trek: Enterprise - You know what, let me tell you about this series; this series is like a 14-year-old asexual boy boasting about his supposed sexual conquests in the hopes that it will endear him to the cool kids. It doesn't work; there's nothing genuine about it and everyone knows it; no matter how many innuendos he throws in, it's clear that there's no joy in it for him and he'd be happier if he could just go off and read comic books. Secretly, he wishes his friends still wanted to play with action figures. -1/10

Star Trek: Discovery - The show presents us with wall-to-wall gays who just...never seem to shtup each other. Like, I of all people know that sex doesn't define queerness, but...really? I guess maybe they're afraid of being less than wholesome? Anyways, 2/10 for that time that the Emperor went off to fuck a couple of Orions in the middle of a dangerous secret mission on the Klingon homeworld.

Star Trek: Picard - A series so sexless that it can't even show its main canonical couple enjoying each other's company for more than 5 seconds each season. And yet the chaste Jurati/Borg Queen pairing manages to be the hottest thing ever in the history of fiction. Anyway, I guess they technically had Agnes sleep with Rios in the first season, so 1/10.

Star Trek: Lower Decks - Oooh boy, we're at the heavy hitter now, my god. Completely, unashamedly horny. Gene Roddenberry *wishes* he could have done that orgy scene that people on Twitter were freaking out about. 11/10

Star Trek: Prodigy- They're *kids*. 0/10

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds - Not really a lot, surprisingly given their TOS pastiche. Still, we get some stuff with Spock. 3/10.

[thewomancallednova]

The Offspring

*sobs and cries*

also fuck that admiral

like it's super impressive that they made a character i hate more than madrox

like at least madrox was the first guy to fuck up like that and he didn't do any lasting damage, meanwhile admiral haftel here already has the precedent, is a huge jerk anyway, and kills a kid. I mean the last line he has in this episode is "it just wasn't meant to be," said about Data trying to save the life of the daughter that haftel killed. 10/10 character

but like tbh Lal's also such a great character, like she chooses to be a woman, wants to kiss Riker and dies of an anxiety attack, like that's just me in a nutshell except I'm inexplicably still alive

okay but like that riker thing was so funny. Like imagine you're commander Riker, you're doing business as usual, you hear from Geordi that Data has a kid now, okay sure, but you gotta go on the away mission, and then you end up never being introduced to her because it's a really big ship with like a thousand people on board, so one day you go to Ten Forward, and the bartender kisses you (probably happens all the time to him) and Data walks in and asks "What are your intentions with my daughter".

You see Data's line about letting Lal choose her own sex and species thrown around a lot, and it is of course nice, but the episode also pretty clearly states that you can't change your sex (like, neither biological species, nor androids) and also states that being neither male nor female is inadequate, so like yeah. It's from 1990. It's just not as progressive as some random screenschots might make it seem.

Oh, I adored the bit with Crusher and Data, like when he just walks in and is like "I need some advice from a good parent" and Crusher's like "and you went to me 🥺" and ahhhh it's so lovely and of course Crusher affirming Data having emotions is great yay

Also very excited to see another Starfleet officer being dedicated to being a school teacher. it just warms my heart.

Looking back at how TNG has portrayed Starfleet outside of the Enterprise crew, I do find it interesting how evil they are. Like, in season one we have an admiral who fucked up a whole planet and basically covered it up (Too Long a Season), an admiral who who's playing power games with other admirals and annoys the crew for a whole episode testing them (Coming of Age), then they're all controlled by aliens (Conspiracy), try to take away Data's rights and create a slave army of androids (The Measure of a Man) and of course here they want to away a person's rights because they think that will increase their own technological progress. At best we see some other friendly ships but they usually get destroyed (the captains in Conspiracy, the Yamato in Conspiracy and the Enterprise-C in Yesterday's Enterprise), or a couple of mission-giver admirals (like in The Defector).

I do really appreciate the way they use Picard in these situations, like he clearly is bigoted about Data having a daughter at the start, but like doctor Pulaski my beloved he comes around and ends up defending Data from what some other, worse people are trying to do to Data now.

[t-mblr-begone]

HI I JUST FINISHED TNG AND AM AUTISTIC I NEED TO TALK (warning long ass post, ramblings)

Q in his stupid fucking judge outfit???? Oh my god i love him so much?? And like?? I dont even think he wanted to put picard on trial at the end he says it was the continuums orders so did he even want to do that too him? Who knows!! We do know hes gay as shit though oh my god. I love him.

The past, the Encounter At Farpoint, picard yelling for Q on the bridge and everyone probably thinking hes insane. Picard not telling any of them whats going on, even though it doesnt affect the other timelines. Tasha Yar???? Hi Tasha!!!!!! Worf with his old sash, the old uniforms, the shitty dress deanna wore in the first episode (it slayed), data being. So autistic. Liek actually hold on can i talk about tha

This episode, with all its converging timelines, really shows how data grows- not just as a character just in general, as the years go by on the ship, he starts understanding idioms, somewhat. He. He gets more human. He really does. His movements more fluid, hes smarter. He really does grow, something about his neural net constantly evolving or something. Oh my god.

The shitty future?? Worf liking Deanna Romantically Cannon??? Riker was still holding on to the relationship this whole time?? (I never noticed really. Im. Autistic.) PICARD AND CRUSHER GOT MARRIED. And then divorced BUT STILL. Picard back on earth?? Tending to what i can only assume to be grape plants or something, like his brother. Data teaches at Cambridge. He has grey hair, thinks it makes him more distinguished. Geordi has eyes! Like in two different timelines he has eyes.

Thats another thing actually, like i could have sworn at least in the earlier seasons, he didnt want. Eyes? I thought?? But like. It seems like a minor Thing, cause it showed up in that one Riker Gets Kidnapped By A Child Alien Because Its Lonely episode. And again here, and probably other places i can't remember because ive consumed all of tng in 2 months.

The present. I dont have shit to say about that actually. It sure is season 7.

OH MY GOD THE BEGINNING OF THW EPISODE BEFORE Q REAVEALS HIMSELF?? How we dont know if he Is travelling through time or if hes Going Senile. The cuts?? I mean the cuts through the whole episode is so good the cinematography in general!!!! Oh my god. The close ups, the panning, THE ACTING?? TASHA YAR??? EARLY WORF? OLD WORF? I like worf. GEORDI? DATA???? love brett spiner.

And i mean who remembers the judge scene from the first episode at this point? The foreshadowing with the jury(?)/audience(?) i didnt even. Realize until they put Picard on the stand again.

DEANNA BEING FUCKING DEAD IN THE FUTURE HELLO?????????????

Oh my god but the end scene. The end shot of the poker game? Imagine seeing the future, all your friends, drifted apart, tense at each other with worf and riker. Seeing that. And then coming back to reality, to Your Time. And seeing your friends as they are right then. Why didnt picard join them for poker?

No like actually. Did. Did he have a reason for that? Some like, weird captain thing? Or like. Some weird barrier wall thing? Thing where he feels like he should isolate himself.

But the point is, he joins his friends for some poker, i dont think he had probably played poker in years. Its just. Amazing.

You know. I think this is one of the first times ive seen her again and not cried, which is progress because every other time it was. Not great.

But now that tngs over

Hey does tumblr have a word limit? We're about to find out.

But now that tngs over, theres still a lot i have to ask. Like why the fuck did they do that to wesley? Do we see wesley again? Is still dont know who b-4 is. Whats Ro doing now? Is she good? Do we see her again? Does she know kira? Do ro and kira meet? Probably not actually. Itd probably be cool though. Do worf and deanna get married? Please. I ne- oh wait no they cant bc worf has a thing with jadzia at some point. What the fuck is up with worf and jadzia? And also where is alexander now? When does worf join ds9? Probably season 3 idk. Or Barclay? Cheif o'brien? Cause the show ran concurrently for a bit. WHY DONR WORF AND DEANNA GET MARRIED THEYRE LIKE PERFECT???? What the fuck is that guy with the ears damar? Gamar? I think its damar? Idk. Why he look like that? IS RO GOING TO DIE??

Oh hey i get to meet sisko, hes cool. He gets like visions or some shit. Q doesnt like him i think "picard never hit me ):" "im not picard."

Q and Quark. Odo and Q. Do we get to see the cunty judge outfit again? Why does he have a mustache when hes boxing sisko or whatever?

OH I GET TO SEE FUCK ASS DUKAT THEOW DARTS AT HIM EVIL. Fun.

Okay yeah im done

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. normally this is the section where i list what episodes we did on what day and it's actually been so long i almost couldn't remember. last tuesday we did voy's "nothing human" and "thirty days," thursday we did voy's "counterpoint" and ds9's "prodigal daughter," friday we did voy's "latent image" and "bridge of chaotica," sunday we did ds9's "the emperor's new cloak" and voy's "gravity," monday we did ds9's "field of fire" and voy's "bliss," and last night we did ds9's "chimera" and "badda-bing, badda-bang." whew! yes, it defeats the purpose if i do them after the fact. SORRRRRY i got out of the habit during the helene power outage. some of these, as a result, will be shorter than normal.

nothing human (voy):

THIS ONE FUCKED. it was like getting to watch ds9 in my voyager

my main problem here was that if the episode is About the doctor, then why is janeway making the call on whether or not to use the cardassian guy for the operation? on the flipside, if the hard calls are left to janeway, why make the doctor choose whether to delete the hologram or not?either she's got to make both decisions or he does. it wasn't a great look for her

i wish also we'd had more time to spend on b'elanna's anger at janeway...it seemed almost like an afterthought to have it be a single scene, and it also makes janeway look like an even bigger asshole to have her go "too bad don't care" rather than like. talk about how much she fought with herself over it and how much they all need b'elanna to get home

the moment where the cardassian was cutting into that holographic bug without caring if it felt pain...mwah. voyager could have said "not all cardassians" but yes, in fact, ALL cardassians.

like he was so nice at first he condemned the occupation but then when he said he had to experiment with what he had...you just Know. anyway, 10/10

thirty days (voy):

this one sucked. i get really annoyed with the prime directive in 90s trek because they only bring it up when it's convenient and sometimes they care a lot about sticking to it to the point where picard will watch an entire planet blow up and be like "thots and prayers :(" and sometimes they don't care at all like when picard saved wesley from getting executed by nudists bc if he didn't his gf would be mad. i'm using tng examples here because it would be DIFFERENT in voyager if janeway was lax on it all around given their circumstances but instead she locks tom in solitary for a really dumb reason even though solitary is cruel and unusual punishment even by today's standards AND she knows being in jail is like his trauma or whatever. dumb.

i don't even remember what else happened in this episode because i was too busy being mad about the idea of janeway actually imposing solitary on tom. i don't even care about tom i care that it makes her look like an asshole twice in a row. water planet was cool i guess

counterpoint (voy):

AAAUUUUR MY GOD

CAPTAIN JANEWAY...MA'AM

idk what she was on in this episode but i have never been more attracted to her. let her peg.

what a journey this one took us on. at first you think the inspector guy is lying, and then he starts acting nice and he and janeway get close, and you're like okay he's on their side but he's also a dipshit, like he just confessed to killing kids WHYYYY is she kissing him when she has a boyfriend and a girlfriend already

AND THEN HE BETRAYS HER. AFTER WE LET OUR GUARD DOWN. and it's like oh NO she's gonna be SAD

WRONG. SHE GOT HIS ASS. like

the fact that he tricked us but also SHE tricks us. and him. at the same time. is so unbelievably hot. it's HER BRIDGE, bitch!!!

prodigal daughter (ds9):

i don't want to talk about it.

gender jokes good though

latent image (voy):

THIS ONE MADE ME CRY......................

ethical dilemma GOOD!!! voyager has been coming for my LIFE in season 5

aside from being an EXCELLENT episode for the EMH, it's also a fantastic episode for janeway and seven, and janeway/seven. "how long before you abandon me too?" seven came for her LIFE. almost as good was janeway showing up in seven's little cargo bay to watch her sleep and then wake her with "im struggling with the nature of individuality" in the gayest reverse uno this show has had yet............

i think also it's such a kind touch to have the thing that gets the doctor out of his funk be janeway being under the weather. like, he's a healer. you know?

the poem at the end. waahhhhh

bride of chaotica (voy):

i was afraid for my life when this episode started but it was actually fine. not my favorite, because the 1930s superhero setting means nothing to me, but i like how everyone kind of m,ade fun of the setting and then lovingly bullied janeway into playing the bride. like, that wasn't nothing

like, tuvok's EXTREMELY wry and bitchy jokes at tom paris's expense for example. seven being judgy at harry. that sort of thing.

the emperor's new cloak (ds9):

also feared for my life during this one because i HATE nagus episodes. i didn't realize it would also be mirrorverse

90s mirrorverse is fucking insane to me, by the way. it's just edgelord territory instyead of like, Saying Stuff about the characters the way tos's mirrorverse did. like, i'm fine with that, but also, what the fuck?

ANYWAY, LESBIAN KISS. TEN OUT OF TEN. i'm so fucking mad she couldn't do that with jadzia >:(

also important: in this episode i realized brunt and weyoun were played by the same guy because mirror brunt talks differently. yes, it really took this long, but my ear won eventually

gravity (voy):

TUVOK'S OPEN SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was never worried he would cheat on his wife. i know they had like a memo somewhere. and he's not that kind of guy

the lady is in free willy! i watched the fuck out of those movies as a kid.

as previously noted, it is hilarious that they invented new kinds of shirts for the sheer purpose of gradually undressing tuvok as the episode went on

to be stuck on a desert planet for two months with only tom paris as company: a fate worse than death

young tuvok!!!! i really loved those sections. he was such a little guy you know

this ep more than any other highlights how different tuvok and spock are...like obviously tim ross is copying leonard nimoy's homework re: The Eyebrow and other mannerisms because every vulcan on star trek does that, but tuvok is very at peace with the way he experiences love and what his relationship with his wife means to him, in a way that is very different from how spock finds peace living WITH his emotions in the tos films. like yeah i can see now why spock had trouble on vulcan and was noticeably different than everyone else. you know?

and while spock found it impossible to be exactly the same as the vulcans around him, and while his inability to do that hurt him greatly, you can see too that it isn't necessarily a BAD way to live or a harmful culture in and of itself. and it's nice to see that side of it! it's just sad that spock could never see that side of it.

anyway, great time, tuvok is my bestie

field of fire (ds9):

this one sucked again. lotta duds in ds9 lately. wild

firstly, there is no reason ezri should be able to deduce the guy is the killer just from standing next to him in the elevator for 5 seconds, joran or not. secondly, the vulcan's motive makes no goddamn sense. he's a VULCAN.

the one part of this episode i did really enjoy was ezri's very quiet conversation with worf. he's usually so uncertain about how to interact with her, his simple "you are dax" hit really hard. i wish it had been in a better episode, because while i'm still lukewarm on ezri, her greatest potential is as this shade of jadzia. it's a really interesting dynamic and they nailed the atmosphere in that scene

that said, what he did was essentially accidentally talk her into letting a psycho loose in her head, so like...pretty invalidating. and overall the episode sucked bad. but still!

bliss (voy):

BANGER AFTER BANGER FOR VOYAGER SEASON 5. holy shit have we come a long way!!

i love when they give seven a baby, first of all, so jot that down

i was really rooting for tuvok to see through the illusion and that he DIDN'T made it such a big deal when seven ultimately did

i loved also this captain ahab guy. in case we didn't know what literary work they were refercing they even gave him a vaguely pirate-like accent. he was fun though so i forgive him

as a side note, also, i LOVED how absolutely fucking skeptical janeway was when first hearing about this wormhole. we have GENUINELY come such a long way from season 1 where they got their hopes up all the time

chimera (ds9):

me during this episode: this rules! > this sucks! > this rules! etcetc.

fun to have odo meet another changeling. fun to have this guy be martok, also. i caught that shit. my ear never fails me. fun to have odo trying to balance his changeling life and human life

less fun when they did the shady melding. kira has every right to feel bad about this bc the last time he was doing it was with his mommy shifter who almost got him on her side

apparently this episode was meant to show us odo still struggles with his being a changeling and wanting to be with people, and it's too easy of a choice if all his people are evil. the problem with this is that this guy is also an asshole. evil, no, but he has the same superiority complex that the other changelings do. if they had made him like, "yeah humanoids are fine but we gotta find the rest of the hundred!" i would have been way more invested in odo being torn. they never really SHOW us odo wants to go back anyway, they TELL us. thats all this was. odo like wah i want to go to the link :( and it's that conflict which initially made him so interesting to me, too, and him choosing kira over his own people is a lot of what draws me to that ship. so it's a shame that the excution fell so flat in some places

also lol the reminder that the changelings are dying out...bro i literally forgot

THAT SAID. the arc where KIRA is the one who feels inadequate for ODO vs HIM feeling inadequate for HER (like when she mentioned wanting kids in a different episode) is a nice twist, and i LOVED the bit at the end where he went goop with her 😭😭😭

like, i wish the episode had been about THAT instead of like. what if the other changelings were also assholes

or like this guy could be an asshole and give odo a different kind of crisis. like if they're all bad and only i am different will i also be like that one day? will i not be that but always be alone? but they didn't do any of that.

also WHAT was with quark's random racism speech. hello???

at the end of this episode cathy asked me "are you sure odo is your favorite character?" bc every time he and kira have a problem i side with her. and. what if kira IS my favorite???? kira might be my favorite??????? #feminism

badda-bang, badda-bang (ds9):

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIGH.

vic is fine. but he'd be better as a non holodeck character

NONE of the holodeck logistics in this made ANY sense. they spent ten minutes trying to justify this stupid holodeck heist because they KNEW it didn't make sense. why not just do a regular heist episode!!! let's watch leverage!!!!!!

furthermore, the side plot about how sisko didn't like the 1960s setting because it magically forgot racism is maybe the only valid reason he had to be a wet blanket about that, but if we're going out of our way to engage with that kind of thing, why is the 1960s setting still sexist? also, why was odo staring at those stripper babes? HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE HUMANOIDS. he's just cuckoo crazy bananas over kira

also, how does vic get INJURED and need time to HEAL? do they not control the fucking simulation enough to even heal up a bruise???

actually wait also WHY ARE JULIAN AND MILES INVITING VIC TO GO TO THE ALAMO? that poor little murder victim asked and he couldn't go but they're ASKING the hologram to go with them?? what the fuck???

i did like that guy calling odo stretch. that was pretty funny.

also, asheville north carolina mention. shoutout to everyone who lives in or has ever lived in asheville north carolina.

TONIGHT: voy's "dark frontier," parts i & ii.

[goofyjelly]

STAR TREK TNG S1 E21:

WHAT IN THE WHUMP!?! Im living for it!

also I love that when they fall into that cave or whatever, it is VERY clear that dr. crusher just threw her stuff and LEAPED into that cave 😭. I respect the commitment honestly. I don't know how to screen record a streaming service but TRUST ME. Rewatch that episode and look at when she falls and pulls picard down with her. I love it so much.

also also LOVE acting-Captain La Forge. I read somewhere that he was originally supposed to be the captain, and let me tell you when he's commanding the bridge I SEE THE VISION!!! (no pun intended i swear 😭).

YES DEANNA!!!!! Thank you for hearing my thoughts and telling Geordi that he's doing very nice for me 👍.

yall it may be over, im referring to them by their first names-- THIS IS WHERE THE OBSESSION BEGINS 💀💀 (I once referred to Captain Kirk as "Jim" in a conversation and I don't think I will ever recover from that-)

!!!! more whump!!! love!!!

ooo! wait ofc theyre shipped together. so what's their ship name...

omg. this is a rare opportunity for me to try and predict what their ship name could be.

IDEAS:

Crushcard

Pirusher

jeanlucrusher (<--- I COOKED WITH THIS ONE!)

Bevericard (alternatively, "Bevicard)

Jeanverluc (not as good)

Okay the moment of truth (consulting the internet)

THERE'S NOTHING?!

well. I am a fan of Crushcard. it sounds like a rock band

ah shit now I gotta find out if that's an actual ba- IT IS!

Ooooo!!! I take it back, I love Crush Card. They sounds cool as fuck. They've only got two singles so far but they sound awesome.

Yall, not gonna lie, Im loving this band.

LISTEN TO CRUSH CARD !

@crushcardband on insta and twitter. (im doing a whole deep dive at this point)

MY POINT STILL STANDS ABOUT THE SHIP NAME THO!

where was I?

oh yeah. Crushcard whump. And yes I am going to call them that until someone tells me something better.

Sometimes I look back on the media I consumed when I was younger and it is so clear where my fanfic tastes came from 💀. Not talking about ST since im a fairly new (3 years ago) fan, but clearly the media i consumed influenced me in some way cus whump just HITS (Something something Ninjago Skybound something something- okay well also just Life experiences but NOT THE POINT)

Well. Hi. If you made it this far Im so sorry.

I love Crushcard (the ship) and Crush Card (the band)

[miminmimikyu]

Prodigy episode 17-18: something something about Janeway knowing since her academy days that she’s wearing a device next to her heart that (with minimal modification) is a bomb. What even was the context for learning that trick : ‘D

Scariest thing in these two episodes might be Janeway saying she might retire to a farm in Indiana now. That's such a death flag even though I know she survives!! Then again, the back of my mind says : "we don't know what she looks like in Picard, so grievous bodily harm isn't off the table.."

Wesley noo, showing up in a room full of angry Vau N’Akat and tell them “stop!” ,that's the plan?

Oh I love it when they put the date on-screen and I can add to my mental timeline. So it's been months since the wormhole was destroyed then?

I knew we could count on young Ascencia to help everyone out!

Oh, my apologies to Wesley.. subjecting yourself to months of torture to trick the enemy into building all the technology you need!!! That was an incredible plan! Not to be a Whovian again but: Doctor coded <3

Zero and Jankom have a right to be angry though, idk if any random crew members on Voyager-A died in that attack but it seems more likely than not. Then again, Wesley did say this path was “without endless suffering” and not “no casualties”. Anyway this plan is definitely going too well…

Ah.

For how much Wesley keeps talking about how “thought” is an incredibly important variable, he couldn’t predict that Gwyn would not leave her father behind. Well, I suppose that even with all those powers Wesley is still human.

(I forget how old Wesley was when his dad died. Maybe he’s so used to not having a dad that that legitimately didn’t occur to him. Because that would be a nice character thing that explains fallibility: he's been away from people too long, now there are some paths that he can't see because it gets harder to factor in other people's thoughts (feelings))

Janeway forgetting her birthday in Year of Hell and getting a present from Chakotay 🤝 Janeway forgetting the anniversary of Voyager’s departure and Chakotay giving her a present <3

How long has it been for Janeway that Chakotay’s was missing? How long has she been searching that she's considering retiring now that she's found him?

“With what you and I’ve been through, it does take patience” does it?? DOES IT??

EMH and Holo Janeway interacting!!!!! That was so sweet! (also so sad, since Holo Janeway is fated to blow herself up before she ever leaves the Protostar ;_;). But if we’re naming differences between Janeway and Holo Janeway liking all his holo novels is probably a big one. Oh, and now the role reversal has made it weird.

Doctor, you say you’re not a covert operative but I’ve seen Renaissance Man.. Notably that also was a story where Captain Janeway was so done with the doc and was veery not on board with socialising with him, so that makes Holo Janeway's admiration even funnier. At least Vice Admiral Janeway is getting along with him better now.

(btw I still don't believe he's on a first-name basis with her, like he implied to the Protostar kids in episode 1. iirc I haven't heard him do that in front of her? but it's so like the doc to play their relationship up to impress some newbies lmao)

(i know it's the fatigue but the novel in progress probably isn't helping)

Is this why there was a callback to Endgame two episodes ago??? Janeway you can’t use the Endgame strategy on her and offer up your brain as bait ,Ascencia probably read your file!!!!

The EMH is doing a Renaissance Man isn’t he? Fuck yeahhh he’s doing a Renaissance Man!!

I love this show, even the Loom get to be portrayed as living, feeling beings by introducing that scared and mistreated one in captivity!!!!!

Well, Ascencia didn't meet Chakotay so unless they have a final showdown I think she really is laser focusing all her Federation hate on Janeway and not giving him a second thought except when taunting Janeway

Oh my heart just grew 3 sizes:

I can’t believe there’s only two episodes left ;_; manifesting Gwyn finally catching a break after 2 series of shouldering all that guilt. Carefree smile time carefree smile time carefree smile time

[steamworksfairy]

Hi Fae!! My thoughts were: oh my gosh, Verde fan!! My assumption was also that you're a sciency person, whether a student in STEM or someone who is really pulled to sci-fi? I also thought you're an Arco fan in general but Verde is your baby girl! Also your name is incredibly pretty so I wondered if you're a fan of fairytales or more contemporary fairies? If I had to pick hm...maybe a mix? You also read as a cool person to me! How I feel now? A very sweet, lovely person!! I like that you're always engaging. You also seem like someone who plans to a T and very patient. I admire that!

Hi Nimo!!! Hope everything gets better soon. Giving you lots of hugs 🫂 💚

Dhfjfifif I love how everyone has me pegged for a Verde fan. Like I know I make it obvious but I love that it's the first thing people realize. Means I did a good job with my blog. Tho I should probably start drawing other characters soon lmao.

You're half right, Nimo! While I'm not a STEM student, I have been taking writing classes. And I do like sci-fy, tho I'll admit I'm picky with that genre. Like I'm not a fan of Stars Wars, but I do like Star Trek. Specifically the Kirk and Picard generations (courtesy of my mom who got me to like them lmao). I do love Twilight Zone, Tin Man----basically any part of scify that goes into supernatural elements/creatures or fantasy I usually find myself drawn towards. Aliens are always going to be hit or miss with me. Some are 👌 others just aren't my thing. I do like alternative dimensions and mad science adventures tho. Like Doctor Who or Rick and Morty is so much fun. Also Gravity Falls is literally my spirit animal.

Verde is my babygirl!!! I love all the Arcobaleno but I was born with Verde fan genes. If look at my DNA under a microscope you'll see a picture of Verde's in the sequence 💚

Omg!!! You think my name is pretty?! Thank you 💚 Its based off my love for steampunk and as you guessed fairies. I loveall types of fairies. From Tinker Bell and Shirley Barber to the wicked and gorgeous and grotesque ones you'd find in modern ya like Holly Black's books all the way to their origins in golk lore. I just love fairies. I 100% blame my mom for this and maybe the fact I grew up on Winx Club and in Barbie's Fairytopia era as well. Like tbh fairies were everywhere when I was kid and all the toys for them went above and beyond. Looking back it feels like the perfect storm to fall in love with these mischievous creatures 💚

As for fairy tales....I FUCKING LOVE FAIRY TALES!!!!!!! Like ph my god anything fairy tale related and I'm sold. Again grew up in the era where these were the rage. Like Disney was delivering with so much Disney Princess stuff both new and old, Once Upon a Time was rearranging my braincells with how epic is was, and djfjfjfjdjshfh I just love fairy tales. Especially when people put their own twist on things. And the Brother's Grimm stuff is always a classic. Also can't forget Hans Christian Anderson. Um........I can't think of much else rn but let be known fairy tale character assignments is one of the first I give to characters. I can't help it. It's just who I am inside. I love it so much I actually have a Once Upon A Time inspired au for khr floating around in my head 😆

Cool person alert!! 😎 I think I need to start using this emoji now XD/hj/j/lh

🥺💚 Thank you!!!! Now look away, I'm ugly crying 😭/lh/j I do try to engage and interact as much as I can. I feel like I can do better but maybe that's just me being too hard on myself. I do try to plan things out as best I can. Admittedly in some areas I do need to get better at this. I actually bought a day timer so I could....I just have to use it :3

[sasukecouchiewa]

I also watched around 7 episodes of tng and idk....like its interesting and all but im not so sure about the characters...like yes data is funny geordi too picard is commanding and smart riker is competent troi is beautiful bla blablablabla

I find these characters rather interesting but i dont feel any immediate connection to them as ive felt with tos or ds9  where i could feel just from looking at a character for a bit that it was gonna be interesting and promising.

obviously i dont doubt that it has many interesting and fun aspects and will develop into something better and better as seasons go by but it doesnt feel like something i really want to binge nor have to patience to watch. Now i Am watching it but because im interested in the universe per se, in the new worlds, and new interactions with other entities and spacey stuff. 

The thing that annoys me the most are the, well, annoying characters, such as the romantic interest that was made obvious from the first episode (or was it the second) because oooh the captain is losing controlllll hes giving in into his romantic and sexual impulseeeesss noo so funny!!! we now know theyre gonna be annoying af impling stuff and longing for each other for the next??? how many seasons. and her prodigy son! why must there be such a character literally no one gives a fuck and from what ive seen no one in the fandom likes him much either so literally what was the point lmao

another thing i didn't like by far is the constant slapping in our faces that the “humans” are the superior species in confront, for example, of the ferengi because now women have rights! and they have clothes! crazy shit man like i get it because in that period women did actually start getting rights so whatever it was historically important but damn like 5 episodes out of the first 7 were only about that .

also why are the jokes constructed so weirdly like theyd make one single unfunny ass joke and thered be a pause where everyone laughs except that one character and someone will be like OH! IT WAS A JOKE LMAOO hahhahahah like no….please stop its cringing me out please just make funny jokes. Like riker would look around…waiting for everyone to laugh… to giggle… or someone would make joke and linger for a moment like hey think about the fact that i made a joke. also what is that acting and what is that thing where everyone seems to have a frog in their mouth when theyre talking OMG ITS SO ANNOYING i just cant with this series im sorry i dont get it.

[seriousfic]

So. Star Trek: Section 31.

We start off in the Mirror Universe, Earth... Asia? We're with Phillippa Gregiou's family and I don't want to spell that a bunch, so I'm just going to call her Philly Geesesteak. Philly's family lives in yurts and the dad works as a literal blacksmith--yes, it is supposed to be the 23rd century.

Look, I'm sorry for stopping so fast, and I know this is an issue for all Mirror Universe stories... but there's no way Starfleet Captain Philly grew up in a yurt, right? It's hard enough to believe the Mirror Universe 23rd Century has people in yurts. And so if in one universe, the Geesesteak family are transporter mechanics or whatever and in the other, they're fucking blacksmiths... what are the odds that the family tree remains exactly the same to produce Philly Geesesteak in both universes? I mean, it has to be up there, right?

Anyway, Philly comes back to her family and it turns out that in the Terran Empire, Emperors choose their successors by taking a bunch of random teenagers and forcing them to participate in the Hunger Gamers. The finalists have to kill their family. The runner-up is mutilated and then becomes the slave of the winner. I am not making any of this up.

Now, to me, the Mirror Universe works in two ways as a storytelling device. There's the panto villainy Mirror Universe, which is just an excuse for the usual cast to chew a bunch of scenery as mustache-twirling villains and so, naturally, everything is cartoonishly evil.

And then there's the more serious "there but for the Grace of God go I" stories, where we're supposed to have a deep think about what Captain Kirk would be like without his strong moral core.

Those are both valid, but what Section 31 tries to do is merge the cartoonishly evil Mirror Universe with genuine pathos and I'm sorry, but who the fuck could possibly take this seriously? I mean, this has to be the stupidest way to pick a successor. It seems designed to turn the next Emperor into a traumatized basketcase that, oh yeah, wants nothing more than to eviscerate the previous regime. Why not have the Emperor just pass power on to a younger member of the cabinet? Or their first-born heir?

If the idea of the Terran Empire is "what if humanity had the technological progress of the Federation, but didn't mature as a civilization as well?"... then where is this fucking Hunger Games heir thing coming from? Like the man said, "when one of us goes up in rank, we ALL go up in rank". Why is it not just every other powerful figure in the current administration jockeying for the hot seat? Why would they listen to some rando?

I'll make it simple: even if we dumb down the Mirror Universe concept to just being "they're Space Nazis"

Could you imagine even the Nazis choosing a new leader in this way? No. Obviously not. It's ridic.

Okay, let's finally move the fuck on. Things are gonna get stupider.

Jamie Lee Curtis as the leader of Section 31--so even in the future we won't have age limits on important government positions, great--tries to recap Philly Geesesteak's deal and it's incomprehensible. I can only make sense of it from having read a few bitchy recaps of Discovery like, well, this one. But the gist of it is that we're now in about the Enterprise B's time, after the TOS crew retired in Star Trek 6 but before the TNG era started with Encounter At Farpoint. Philly is running one of those Star Wars cantina rip-off intergalactic speakeasies outside of Federation space. Hey, kinda like the one they visited in Picard. (And, like that one, there's very few aliens with pricy prosthetics or make-up and LOTS of humans in silly outfits and wigs) And a bad guy is selling a superweapon there, so Section 31 is sending a team to recruit Philly for help with that.

Philly makes every member of the team in her bar, sorta like how Ethan Hunt called out all the IMF agents watching him in the first Mission: Impossible.

Now, with Section 31 being an evil black ops group dedicated to committing war crimes for the Federation's greater good, try to imagine who you think the average member would be. Maybe a brainwashed assassin like the Winter Soldier or La Femme Nikita? Or just fanatically loyal Starfleet members--Will Riker if someone pushed him an inch too far? Maybe a Dirty Dozen of disgraced or rogue Starfleet officers released from Federation prison and forced to do humanity's dirty work... that could be fun.

No. It's none of those. It's a ragtag bunch of misfits (hey, just like the crew in Picard!). They're a bunch of PAINFULLY quirky jerkwads who banter and bicker like they're being written by a brain-damaged Joss Whedon on painkillers. All the time. About everything. And they are all, of course, painfully contrived as characters.

I used the word 'pain' three times in that paragraph and believe me, I wish I had used it more.

Alok is the leader. He's a big black bald guy who is always cool and collected. Like Sisko with all the interesting characterization drained away. Instead of him being a baseball nerd, or a grieving widower, or a single father, he's... a cryogenically frozen Augment from the Eugenics Wars. How did he get to the 23rd Century? Don't know!

Quasi is a shapeshifter like the one in Star Trek 6. He pretty much never uses his shapeshifting. He is also terminally indecisive, so a great call for a black-ops commando team.

Zeph is a super-strong cyborg who is also retarded. Yes, that's right. He's both really strong and really dumb. Have I blown your mind with this wild new character concept? Zeph is played by a handsome white guy, so I assumed he'd be the obligatory traitor, but it's actually the other white guy--Zeph is just retarded and almost immediately killed off. Thanks, DEI.

Rachel Garrett is the namby-pamby Starfleet oversight, even though the whole POINT of Section 31 is that they don't have oversight! That's why they're bad! But yeah, they bring her along and once in a while she says something like "don't torture people" and then they torture people anyway. Another great Star Trek character. Her story arc is that Philly convinces her she's a 'chaos gremlin,' so she spends the climax singing "I love chaos, I love chaos." NO. REALLY.

Fuzz is a microscopic alien inside a robotic Vulcan suit (like the guy in MIB, basically). He constantly blows his cover by spazzing out, laughing, and doing other unVulcan things. Since his body is just a robotic suit, I have no idea why they couldn't just change up the ears to make him look like a human so he's not constantly drawing attention to himself. I guess because he's going to constantly draw attention to himself anyway, given that he's completely unstable and flies off the handle at the slightest provocation. Another great choice for Team Spy.

Melle is a Deltan, one of those bald chicks from Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Like Poison Ivy, she has pheromone powers that let her seduce anyone. This means that she could solve basically every problem the characters run into, so she's immediately killed off. This is a slightly better fate than the actress's last role, which was starring in Star Wars: Outlaws.

[squidhominid]

15 Questions for 15 Friends

Tagged by @venort!

Are you named after anyone?

Oh this is a fun one. So, the name I picked for myself after coming out as trans comes from the character Ellie Williams, from The Last of Us. I almost named myself 'Emma', after the Japanese name for Lady Timpani from Super Paper Mario. My deadname, which I won't share for obvious reasons, comes from... I think my great grandpa? I'm not 100% sure. Something like that. And my dad almost gave me the name Jean-Luc, after Picard, y'know, Star Trek, or Jean-Claude, after Jean-Claude Killy (although I suspect this was just a failed cover story to try and convince my mom to go with Jean-Luc).

When was the last time you cried?

Not answering this one, sorry.

Do you have kids?

Not answering this one, sorry.

What sports do/have you played?

I don't, uh. I'm not. I'm not very physically active these days. In high school they rotated us constantly between soccer, softball, lacrosse, basketball, volleyball, badminton, and I think MAYBE football? I was terrible at all of them, y'know, vision/coordination problems and whatnot.

Do you use sarcasm?

Do I? I'm not sure. What do you think?

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Man I dunno, uh, I just think some people are neat.

What's your eye color?

My V-Tuber avatar has orange eyes. I'm not saying more than that. Eat pant.

Scary movies, or happy endings?

Both, neither, and everything in between. Movies are good. Have you seen The Boy and the Heron? You should go see The Boy and the Heron. Also Paprika. Paprika is really good. I wish Satoshi Kon had lived long enough to finish Dreaming Machine. Actually I just wish he hadn't gotten cancer at all. Fuck cancer.

Any talents?

I'm pretty good with OBS, and tech stuff in general. I enjoy streaming, and people seem to think I'm pretty good at it.

Where were you born?

Washington

What are your hobbies?

Video games, programming, VR/AR, motion capture/streaming/video editing stuff, just, techy stuff in general.

Do you have any pets?

Not at the moment, but I kept a few fish as pets as a kid, and the last place I lived had a local colony of stray cats that me and my dad would feed and look after.

How tall are you?

5'2" in real life, my V-Tuber avatar is supposed to be either 4'11" or 4'9", I'm not 100% decided yet.

Favorite subject in school?

Probably the classes where we just got to fuck around with computers. But if I had to give an actual answer, probably math or physics? If we include university, probably the classes I took on VR, UI design, and product design, or the cognitive science class I took that was about the intersection between cognitive science, society, and popular technology.

Dream job?

Honestly, anything where I'd get to apply my interests in both technology and internet media. Whether that's working on software for streaming, working as an editor or a writer at a tech YouTube channel, working at a video or livestreaming platform like Twitch or YouTube... Alternatively, maybe working on VR software or hardware? Just as long as I'm making a good income, working on something I'm passionate about, and with time to spend on my hobbies.

Tagging @minty-cups @lunacapra @pbyukionna @quinnydoll @largedragonmilf @super-tired-robot @mudmouths @missylanieous @capncococharms @ardnin @dooper64 @astrophelcallisto @emery-matsushita-vt @mammeata @friendbreakfast

[sodiumlamp]

Picard

I just did the math, and Star Trek: Picard is approximately 22.5 fucking grueling hours, so that made me kind of sad.

This episode tries. It doesn't quite succeed, but I see the effort and I appreciate it. I'd like to believe that this marks a turning of the corner, and the rest of this season will get better, but it's too late to redeem this series, which currently stands as one of the all-time worst shows I've ever seen.

With a lot of bad media, I will often see apologists offering up defenses like "It had some good ideas, but they were poorly executed." And I have watched TV shows where that simply isn't true. The ideas were bad and the execution was bad, so it was bad all around. Picard, on the other hand, actually does have some pretty great ideas. There's a lot of stuff that would totally work if only it were being done anywhere else but here. And that's actually more tragic, because Star Trek Picard is like this graveyard where good ideas go to die. And of course, they're buried alongside a ton of bad ideas, which the show also has.

All right, so in this episode, they're stuck in the gravity well of a nebula that isn't actually a nebula, and they've only got four hours left to live. The gang have hit rock bottom, but they slowly start to dig their way out, which is kind of uplifting to see. Riker admits to Picard that he was right about not wanting to fight the Shrike. Picard spends some QT with his new son Jack Crusher. Seven and Captain Shaw have to work together to flush out the Changeling saboteur. Beverly figures out that the nebula is actually some sort of alien womb, because it's sending out energy pulses at regular intervals, comparable to a human experiencing contractions during childbirth.

I mean, that last part is pretty ridiculous, but I'll allow it, because it's on-brand for Star Trek. Still... I'm beginning to wonder if anyone in Starfleet has ever seen an actual nebula before. It just seems like this thing turned out to be very different from a nebula, which makes me wonder why anyone thought it was a nebula in the first place.

Anyway, they finally come up with a plan to use the energy pulses from the space-womb to carry the ship back out before they all die. It mostly relies on this weird premise that's also on-brand for Star Trek: that all starships can magically be drained of their power, or absorb power like a sponge. In this case, Bev can predict the next wave, so once they're prepared they can just time it right and use the power of the wave to re-energize the ship. When they escape, they're treated to a swarm of alien squid creatures born from the "nebula".

So what's the problem? Well, two main issues here. First, even though there's a happy ending to this crisis, this episode gets really fucking dark. The crew morale is in the toilet. Riker confesses that he's in a profound depression from the death of his son, so he left his family to get back into space just to try and feel something. He tries recording a message for his family when he thinks they're all going to die, and when the others come to him with their escape plan, he's so despondent that he thinks it would be better to wait for a rescue, because at least that way the ship might still be intact and they could leave something behind. I don't know what the hell happened between Season 1 and this, but that's a pretty dark mindset he's in.

We also learn that Jack approached Picard years ago, without telling him who he was, and asked Picard if he ever considered having a family, and Picard replies that Starfleet was the only family he ever needed, which would have been an innocuous comment except he was saying it to his son without even realizing it, so that's really grim. Also, Jack has some spooky hallucinations near the end of the episode. I guess he really is his father's son, since Picard had the prophetic dreams in Season 1 and the Silent Hill jumpscare flashbacks in Season 2.

Oh, and there's a lot of body bags in this thing. It's kind of tough to appreciate the Titan surviving this mess when you see so many crewmen who definitely did not survive it.

Oh, and Captain Shaw is high on painkillers and he finally opens up about why he's such a giant douche: Turns out he was at Wolf 359, and he and 50 of his closest friends had to figure out which ten of them got to use the only functioning escape pod. Did anyone actually die at Wolf 359? The way I remember it, there were a lot of broken hulls and the Enterprise scanned for life signs and found none. But Sikso got out and Shaw got out. Shaw describes himself as a "dipshit from Chicago," and I gotta admit, ripping off Ben Sisko's origin story is a pretty dipshit move. I'm voluntarily subjecting myself to Star Trek: Picard, so I can't judge.

Oh, right, there were two issues with this episode, but there was so much dark stuff in this one that I got sidetracked.

The other issue is that they just sort of blew off the original problem that got them in trouble in the first place: The Shrike. On their way out of the "nebula" they almost run right into it, but Riker uses the tractor beam to snag an asteroid and fling it into the Shrike before it can attack. It's kind of cool that he got his groove back and managed to one-shot this enemy that had seemed unstoppable a few hours earlier, but it also undermines all the buildup we had with the Shrike in the previous two episodes.

The Shrike's captain looks like she's auditioning for the role of Oswald Cobblepot. She acts like a maniac, and her ship is supposed to be loaded with incredibly powerful weapons. When Titan falls into the gravity well of the "nebula" she cuts off her own hand, which then turns into a floating head and it orders her to pursue the Titan and recover Jack Crusher at all costs, and she reluctantly obeys. The Shrike sucks and she sucks as a villain, and Episodes 2 and 3 sucked, but I assumed they were going somewhere with all of this. Instead, Riker throws a rock at them and that seems to solve everything.

I mean, they didn't destroy the Shrike, so maybe it comes back to menace Picard later, but we spent three episodes on it and I'm not impressed at all. I'm certainly not looking forward to a rematch.

Worf isn't in this one, which is pretty disappointing, but it allowed the episode to focus on the A-plot, which was a good thing. Also we get a day off from Raffi's nonsense. Wait, that means we'll probably have to get double the Raffi in the next episode. Where the fuck is Geordi, anyway? They promised us the whole TNG crew would reunite for Season 3, and we can barely get more than three of them in a single place. At least Worf and Troi are in the show, though. Data's not around, but he's dead, so what's Geordi's excuse?

[thewomancallednova]

Pen Pals

Oh fuck that was beautiful

shit what was the last episode i called "the best tng episode" yet, cause it might have been dethroned

okay i also gotta say that i have madly misrepresented this episode in the past. Like, in my memory from 15 years ago this episode was "Data makes a pre-warp friend, her home planet is threatened by geology, Picard so we gotta let them die because of the prime directive, but I guess we can make an exception for Data's friend if he insists, and then everyone except Data's friend dies." And that is not at all what happens!

At least up until the "we gotta let them all die" point, because they have a discussion about the prime directive and fate and it's excellent. Geordi, Troi, Data and Pulaski are the pro-saving the planet's people side and Picard, Worf and (weakly) Riker are the anti-saving the planet's people side. And it's a really good discussion. That Picard ends by basically saying "well if we save people from volcanoes, then we'd also have to save them from slavery, and where'd that bring us?" And then Data fucking plays the recording of this ten-year old girl asking for help and everyone gets emotionally affected enough to say fuck the prime directive, let's save these people if we can. And then they do! It's fucking great!

And I love that this gently bends Picard. Like, the Picard of Symbiosis would not have gone for this and the episode doesn't outright changes him, it just nudges him ever so slightly in the right direction to make him a little better. Although yes, it is fucked up that he needed to hear that little girl's pleas for help first. But he got there anyway!

At one point Riker and Troi are walking down the corridor and Troi giggles unprompted and like honestly, yeah same girl.

I forgot Picard's a horsegirl! As if his character wasn't redeemed enough in this episode already!

I also love that Data is entirely driven by emotions here, like literally everything he does in this episode, it's all emotion. Not a "oh in this scene he is clearly happy or heartbroken" or whatever, every single fucking bit from him answering "Is anybody out there" with a "yes" is entirely emotions. Love that for him. I do find it a bit weird that At the end Picard goes all "well you are a bit closer to undersatnding huamnity by experiencing remembrance and regret." Like you wouldn't say that to a child that just had their first friendship break-up or something, right? Like, yes, it's cool that Data got to experience these things for the first time, but it's odd to frame them as steps on the path to humanity, when we would never frame them as such for any other being that experiences them. Data is a human being admit it already you cowards!

Also love that Pulaski is the one to openly acknowledge and validate it! Hell yeah character arcs!

Okay I was so cought up in everything else, but Wesley is great in this too! He has his first "command", leading a team of scientists to analyse the weird shit happening in this sector! And he's a bit insecure about commanding people who are older and more experienced than him, and then Riker gives him a pep talk, and then he gets better at it. Also loved that Wesley immediately questioned the hierarchies in place, good lad, Wes!

When Wesley approaches Riker for help in Ten Forward, Riker tells his companion that it's a "family emergency" and like. I never thought about that. But Riker is like a great ersatz father for Wesley, and a much better choice than Picard (who I think gets stereotyped into the role due to his closeness to Jack and shipping with Beverly. There's even fan theories out there that actually Picard is Wesley's biological father. No idea why, but they're there). Riker's the one who pushes for Wesley to become an acting ensign, he supports him every step of the way, he saves his life in Justice, And they both have some stuff going on with their own fathers (Riker's sucks and Wesley's is dead). Picard shares a connection with Wes' mother and that one conversation about not getting into the Academy first try. Which is nice, but now that I'm looking at it like this I really wanna see more of Riker mentoring Wes.

This is kind of funny to watch post-Discovery, with Saru's backstory basically being similar to Sarjenka's in that they're both from a pre-warp planet and figure out how to communicate with a Starfleet Lieutenant Commander.

Also, this is the longest Trek episode yet, at eight weeks, it's on par with TOS's The Paradise Syndrome.

I think this is also the first notable example of the TNG crew going rogue, with them clearly violating the prime directive, having Riker beam Data down instead of O'Brien, so that only Riker would be implicated in the crime and so on.

Sarjenka really could have used a lesson in internet safety, because you are not supposed to tell strange androids your family details! It could have been Lore instead of Data!

[nonstandardrepertoire]

i think for me the scene that really defines the failure of season 3 of Picard is the scene where Picard and Crusher have Vadic in custody and have i guess finished interrogating her and then go off to the side a little bit and are like "so do we just kill her now? i think we just kill her now?" and at first you're like "haha this is a tactic to get inside Vadic's head and shake some more information out, right?" but then no they are actually just deciding to summarily execute a prisoner of war that they have in captivity and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh has anyone writing this show watched a single episode of a single Star Trek at any point? oh no they only watched "Tuvix" didn't they, i guess that explains it

anyway, further thoughts:

but seriously, folks, one of Picard's defining character traits is that he sticks to principle even when it is morally questionable to do so. an asteroid is on a collision course with a pre-warp society? Prime Directive means there's nothing we can do, we just gotta stand by and watch them perish. a treaty requires forcibly relocating a bunch of space!Native Americans? gosh, that's rough, he hopes they can convince them to leave voluntarily, but he's not just going to Not abide by a treaty

Crusher, likewise, is very strongly committed to preserving life. she gets kidnapped by terrorists at one point and is like "yes, sure, they have blown up a bunch of civilians but also, consider, they need medical attention, so i'm going to give it to them"

so to have?? these two specifically be like "time to execute a prisoner without trial!" is???????? i do not believe it of them. these are not the characters i care about from The Next Generation. they simply?? are not????? and this scene doesn't play as a like, "holy shit this is fucked up can you believe this war crime these people are about to commit what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck something has gone Wrong here Yikes", instead it feels like it's treated as more of a "haha, yeah, Star Trek is gritty and edgy now B)", which. why any of this. what are we doing here. i would like to be somewhere else

In General, tho, it feels like basically every other TNG character except for Worf and Data and Geordi sometimes is just. wildly off the mark? i simply Do Not Believe that Riker is that terrible a father and family man? S3 feels like it has given up any pretense of doing anything original and collapsed entirely into TNG nostalgia, but then it also insists on mangling every single legacy character it brings back, so like, again, what are we doing here. why any of this

further on the collapse into nostalgia and giving up on any premise of original ideas: what the heck happened to literally anything set up in the season 2 finale. we have an entirely new kind of Borg petitioning for entry into the Federation. we have a Big Mysterious Portal that shoots Destruction Beams just. floating in/near Federation space. none of this is ever mentioned again! i guess Jurati is still just. vibing

this is like, the fourth or fifth Definitely Final End To The Borg For Real This Time we've had, and like. i get that they are iconic TNG villains, but also bringing them back like this continues to feel So stale. please i am begging you: have a single new idea it has been 30 years

adding to the sense of Giving Up, thematically this season feels all over the fucking map. like, on the one hand: Vadic was a prisoner of war tortured in a black site by Federation scientists and now out for revenge. this has a lot of potential for a plot that is about chickens coming home to roost. the Federation made some really questionable choices during the Dominion War, and now they have to deal with the consequences of their own cruelty and destructiveness. that's an interesting set of themes! it doevetails kind of nicely with Picard having a kid he didn't know about with Crusher, and now they both have to Deal With That since fate has pushed them back together. but then it . . . switches to being a plot about The Borg Trying To Assimilate The Federation Again, which isn't at all about consequences of bad choices and is instead about "there's an evil sneaky outside force trying to destroy us because they're eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil and we have to be Strong and Vigilant against them". what are we doing here!!!!!!!

similarly, the alliance between the Borg and the Dominion (? or just the sect of rogue Changelings? the geopolitics of this is a little unclear to me, ngl) is strategically unclear to me. why do the Changelings need the Borg for this plan? it doesn't seem like they have a shortage of operatives, and it's hard for me to believe that the Borg would . . . share power? and not just try to assimilate or destroy the Changelings once the Federation is out of the way (and i don't get the sense that the Changelings are naive enough to not know that). again, what are we doing here

when Section 31 is introduced in DS9, it's clearly a shadowy operation that almost no one knows about, and even fewer will acknowledge. now, it seems like literally everyone not just knows what Section 31 is, but is also like "oh, their secret base? yeah totally, it's right over there, i have the schematics and a good understanding of the security system". are they a secret unit that calls into question the entire moral foundation of the Federation, or are they a known branch that everybody just accepts? these are different things!!!!!!!!!!

what the fuck is going on with Raffi Musiker. the show seems to want her both to be an unstable drug addict with a checkered past and a fraught relationship with Starfleet Command (cool, great, love this for the most prominent Black woman in the cast /SARCASM) but also a highly decorated officer in good standing entrusted with sensitive and delicate missions who has done no wrong. she is both paranoid and delusional and also right about every single conspiracy she imagines. it doesn't feel like she's doing well in her career despite considerable mental health challenges, it just feels like her standing flip flops wildly depending on the needs of the plot in a given scene

also like, idk, but i feel like finding out that the family member who abandoned all of their obligations to you for years and years and years in pursuit of a conspiracy theory was right about that conspiracy theory doesn't like? immediately and miraculously make up for the . . . abandonment? i just struggle with turning from "quite frankly we never want to hear from you again because we are so hurt by how you treated us vs your obsessions" to "wow wait you're decorated because your obsessions were correct? that's so cool, please come be our Cool Relative now" on a dime

why is Picard still blanket recommending Starfleet this place clearly has severe organizational and philosophical issues what are we doing why are we doing this

this is really not limited to this show, but it just Grates on me that in the first episode we see an entire large city building destroyed and while we're told that it's a great tragedy, we never really? get to feel the weight of it. like, all of those people died, and their deaths literally do not matter on an emotional level. we are not asked to sit with the grief of this destruction. it is solely there to inspire Raffi's guilt and prove that the Big Bad means business. just a very callous approach to life that i am noticing more and more in media — you see it also in Crusher just straight-up killing a guy in the opening scene — and that always makes me think about that Le Guin quote where she talks about heroes using exactly the same methods as villains and that being something that should perhaps trouble us morally more than it often does

i just don't understand how you can do an arc involving the Borg Queen and not?? address the New Borg Queen you made in the past season with her New Borg Collective. has Jurati always been The Borg Queen in this new timeline, or has she just been . . . secretly out there doing Borg stuff entirely unrelated to the main collective? how do any of these pieces fit together oh wait they don't this show hates itself and does not want you to have watched it

i'm sure that's not Actually everything but im Tired and i have Covid im going to Bed goodBYE

[thegeminisage]

whoops, i almost forgot about the star trek update. tuesday we watched tng's "firstborn" and "bloodlines" and last night we watched ds9's "the wire" (honorific)

firstborn (tng):

i was actually bracing for this one to suck ass bc everyone says worf is a bad dad. and i dont think he is!!! like, it doesn't come as easily to him as it does to sisko, and he sometimes forgets to be gentle or kind with alexander because he's so laser focused on how things SHOULD be he forgets to the importance of taking others' feelings into account, but that's how he is ALL THE TIME with EVERYONE not just his kid. considering the circumstances i'd say he's doing well

before we get started, GREAT cameo from the duras sisters. i was initially really annoyed with their tit windows but im becoming rather fond

i really liked "the family protector guy "k'mter" at first because he said all the right things to alexander...like, it's scary not being able to defend yourself, etc. then he also was a dick to alexander and i was really exasperated...but then he IS alexander so that totally fixes it. he's angry with himself and conflicted and just wants a HUG FROM HIS DAD and that FIXED it!!! like when he said "nobody will look at you and see a human you are alone on this ship" initially it felt like racism but it being like, not quite self-loathing but just bitter experience...that's actually so clever

this is the only episode where they brought up alexander's mom kind of hating ""klingon stuff"" and how that could possibly have negatively impacted him and it only got two lines of dialogue but still. i think it's really damning that she hated her own heritage and also brought her kid up to hate it and now he's sort of out here...pretending to be human, almost, to the point where he doesn't want to participate in hsi own culture or even bond with his own father (a klingon). like it sucks so bad for him

i was afraid that the plot twist would be "k'mter talks alexander into wanting to be a warrior after all just when worf realizes he doesn't have to be" which would have been sad but a real "oh shit" of an ending. mixed feelings about them not doing that but i understand why they wanted to properly wrap things up for s7

i almost forgot but rare w for picard for bending the rules a little bit to give worf time to go to the klingon festival with his kid. credit where it is due

bloodlines (tng):

i have never been so BITTERLY DISAPPOINTED.......................

they gave. picard. an affair baby.

THEY GAVE HIM AN AFFAIR BABY!

what have i been saying since farpoint! he has an affair baby! AND THEY GAVE HIM ONE

AND THEN TOOK IT AWAY

what was the POINT OF THE EPISODE

if that's not his fucking affair child

pussy ass little FUCKS couldnt commit to changes...

i can't even remember what else happened in this episode i was so disappointed about this plot twist

oh yeah actually i do remember picard made a bald joke which i THINK was the only time he's done that in seven seasons? i think the only time ANYONE'S done it? please correct me if i am wrong but i was so shocked it got a big laugh out of me. also a rare w for picard. if he made bald jokes more often i'd hate him less maybe

oh yeah i'm coming back to add this later but it was really hilarious that picard was so torn up over his not-son being a little criminal. his horrific unforgivable spelunking crimes. so true.

the wire (ds9)

ooohhhhhhhhhhhh my god. oh my GOD. let's fucking...get into it

i rly thot garak was just a guy but not only is he a former assassin he's a current junkie. A JUNKIE! he's just like me fr

also, he can act? like that scene where he was withdrawing and saying horrible shit to julian......i was on the edge of my seat.

i love that he gave us 3 different stories about how he got kicked out. i'm gonna be honest, i looked it up, and apparently we never find out the truth? that is a bold fucking move. a daring choice. we, like julian, will never have any certainty. like, sure, i WANT to believe he released some kids from being tortured, but it's also equally as likely that he killed civilians or did a number of other horrible things

like, the fact that he can lie about it even while under significant distress.........king. like you could say oh that's the true one because that's the one where he was physically unwell but he also referred to "elim" in that one which gives it the ring of a potential falsehood

julian forgiving him anyway, even after all the horrible stuff he said, even after being physically ATTACKED (WHICH WAS SCARY!!! i was scared of him!!!!!) for "whatever he did," just because garak said "i need to know someone forgives me"..........AUGHGHGH JESUS CHRIST

THE FACT THAT HE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. he won't tell even US what he did. eliot spencer core actually. i am beside myself about it all

maybe he's right and it is all true. maybe he destroyed a ship and framed a friend AND let some kids go. it's literally none of business though like he's not gonna tell us

anyway, i heard the term "brain implant" and nearly died on the spot, so 10/10 episode

honestly, they should have just upgraded this guy to a regular. he is so good

NEXT TIME: tng's "emergence" and ds9's "crossover" AND YES I KNOW THAT'S MIRRORVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!