#and data in the last one going ah yes that makes sense okay captain

[evviejo]

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - S4E25 In Theory

[tiresomeimagination]

Guilty Pleasure - Epilogue

Author’s Note: This is a short continuation of my slight AU which I think I’m going to call the...”College Friends AU” (to be distinguished from the usual College AUs where everyone is jammed into one school for the heck of it lolol). I didn’t plan on writing more since I usually just peddle oneshots, but this whole blog is just an exercise in actually creating something when I get vivid mental pictures instead of just ruminating on it til it dies. Anyways so long story short here’s a short epilogue. At least it finally gave me a chance to write the dynamic with Vandy.

If you haven’t read the first fic, I’d recommend doing so in order to understand what’s going on here ^^

~~~~~

Seven tapped aimlessly on his desk as he reclined in his chair and looked over the code for his most recent assignment. He would be lying if he said he was entirely invested in the task at the moment. His mind couldn’t help but wander, which meant he had to frequently read through the same strings of data multiple times. He paused in his half-hearted work when he heard the telltale footsteps of his handler entering his bunker. Great. That guy always knew how to pick the worst times to check in. It’s like he had some sort of sixth sense that told him whenever Seven started slacking. Absolutely uncanny.

The rhythm of footsteps was interrupted by a thunk. Ah yes, one added benefit to leaving a mess everywhere was that it tended to make it a smidge more difficult for his poor handler to safely and efficiently move through the space. He wouldn’t necessarily call them booby traps…although his handler might think differently. Seven was unable to suppress his snicker as he listened to the agent curse loudly. Finally, the door opened, revealing the disgruntled brunette.

“Geez, how many times do I have to tell you to pick up your junk?? It’s like a minefield out there.” The agent spat as he stomped into the room.

“My deepest apologies, Madam Vanderwood. I’ve just been sooo busy being a good little slave that I haven’t the time to tidy up!” Seven moaned dramatically.

Vanderwood laughed bitterly at that. “Hah, if that were true, I wouldn’t be on the phone with the boss half the time making excuses for why we’re behind schedule.” He moved closer, looking over Seven’s casual reclined posture with disapproval. “Let me guess, you’re still not finished yet.”

Seven leaned his head back, shooting Vanderwood his best carefree smile. “Ding ding! You would guess correctly!”

Vanderwood only scowled deeper at that, letting out a groan as he brought a hand up to rub at his tired eyes. “Is something going on with your RFA group or something?” He threw out a guess. He could tell something was different with Seven, but he wasn’t sure what.

Seven’s smile fell and turned to a look of genuine confusion. “Huh? No. Why?”

“I don’t know, you’ve just seemed more distracted than usual ever since we came back from our last mission. I know you have no problem with traveling overseas, so do you want to tell me what’s actually going on?” He asked firmly, looking not much different from a scolding parent as he placed a hand on his hip, waiting for an answer.

Seven brought a hand up to his face as he hummed in thought. “Hmmmmmm…Nope, not really. But I wasn’t aware we were sharing feelings now!” He sat up and whirled his chair around to face his handler with a sneering grin. “This is news to me, but by all means, go ahead and start the sharing circle. Ol’ reliable agent 707 is here with open arms!”

Vanderwood let out an aggravated huff, lifting his hands in surrender. “Okay okay, fine! Don’t tell me. But whatever it is, if I catch it affecting your work, we’re going to be having a much less pleasant conversation,” he growled halfheartedly, already too exasperated by Seven’s antics to remain as intimidating as he initially intended.

“Aye aye, Captain!” Seven chirped, giving a mocking salute.

“...Tsk, and get back to work! We both know you’ve barely touched your assignment all day!” He hissed, turning on his heel and stomping back out of the room.

Wow. He really did have some sort of Seven Slacking Sense. The thought nearly gave Seven chills. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and listened closely to the sound of Vanderwood’s retreating footsteps. He sat completely silent, waiting until he was absolutely sure the agent was long gone before he jumped up from his chair. 

Vanderwood was right. He was distracted. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he had done during that last mission. That line he had crossed. The line he was…still crossing.

Seven gave one more suspicious glance around the room for good measure before he clambered his way on top of his bed. Fishing out a screwdriver from under a pillow, he rose up onto his tiptoes to reach a small vent high above the bed. With practiced precision, he removed the screws and slid off the vent cover, retrieving the prize stashed away inside. A small plain phone, clearly a burner. He had ensured that this device was completely untraceable so that he could make contact without leaving any kind of digital trail. That was the only way he could justify this.

He let himself drop down onto the bed as he booted up the device. A quick glance at the clock. Yes, it shouldn’t be too early in the morning over there…

The device powered on and he quickly punched in the number he had been careful to memorize. His tired eyes stayed trained eagerly on the screen as he sent the first text and waited for a response. Several long moments ticked by as he waited with bated breath. Maybe it was too soon. This was a bad idea. He shouldn't have…

Before he could spiral into deeper self-hatred, a response came through. He felt the weight immediately lift from his chest and he felt himself grinning as he read over the warm greeting that he'd received. Just like that, his mood was a little bit lighter and all he wanted to do was sit here and talk with Y/N all day.

As more texts were sent back and forth, he settled into a comfortable position sprawled out on the bed. He knew he was playing with fire. This was far too dangerous for both parties involved. He should smash this phone before something terrible happens… But man did the warmth of these flames feel good.

[fckyeahdaisukekambe]

[ROUGH ENG TRANS] FUGOU KEIJI NOVEL: THE MILLIONAIRE DETECTIVE’S DECOY (Part 1)

Yay! I did an initial rough translation. I am still learning Japanese so please don’t expect 100% word-by-word perfect translation. This is just based on the level of my understanding of Japanese so please bear with me~ *thanks to my dad’s (credit card) i got a copy*

"Now, gentlemen. There is only 3 months remaining before the 7-year prescription of the 500 million yen robbery case."

Fukuyama, the stout-looking captain of the special investigation headquarters, looked around at the 20 detectives with an expression that’s similar to Alfred Hitchcock. "A total of 200,000 investigators were put in, 150,000 suspects were questioned, and all prepared investigation materials are in one data room."

"All of that was not wasted because we were able to narrow down the suspects to four." Detective Kojima who has been an investigator since the time of the incident, turned his eyes to Fukuyama as if to challenge him, He has just arrived at the station after his previous captain recently retired.

"No, Nothing is wasted."

Ignoring Fukuyama, Kojima showed his sharp teeth and gazed at everyone. "I found the special paint used which is our strongest clue was sold to only 56 people from a specialty store.

"It's beige, right?" From the side, Detective Nunobiki who's missing a front tooth and looks like Alfred E. Newman interrupted. "Of the eighteen people who bought the beige paints, three are women. Then the fifteen people. Out of the fifteen, there are elderly." Nunobiki said. "Two are more than 60 year old. Then the thirteen. Out of those, three doesn't drive a motorcycle so down to ten."

"Wait a minute. Is it really okay to exclude those three from our suspects?" rushly asked by Captain Fukuyama. "Even if you don't have a motorcycle and have no license, you can practice going somewhere secretly."

Kojima overtly glared at stared at Fukuyama with a blank expression. "Of course there's a possibility not to included those three people. Of those three, two are elementary students". Nunobiki said. "The other one only has one leg." "I'm a man who can't ride a motorcycle," said Kojima. "Then on the ten, three of them have solid proof that they were not in the scene."

Captain Fukuyama asked shyly this time, "Is there no possibility that the alibi of those three people will collapse?"

"One was in the police station at the time of the incident because he vandalized a wall of a university building about capitalism using the paint he bought, the other one died days before the incident. In other words, he's in heaven at the day of the incident." Kojima replies politely with a serious look.

"The last one is attending a meeting at the Prefectural Police Department, which is a chief. He claims that he bought the paint for the rabbit hutch in his garden. Would you like to check on it again?"

Fukuyama coughed, "No need, that would have been true."

"The seven remains." exclaimed Kojima.

"It was clear that three of them haven’t got the chance to use the paint they bought. Of course I checked and confirmed it to them. Immediately after buying the paint, one of them fell down at the front of the store, the lid was opened and the paint splashed on the road. There was a lot of fuss but many people in the shopping district confirmed this. The other two left their paint on their garden and storage room."

"Then the four," Nunobiki screamed from the side for attention.

"Mother Goose has a song called Ten Little Indians." Detective Saruwatari whispered to Daisuke, who's next to the door.

"What's wrong? Please speak in our language." after Kojima gazed at Saruwatari, Daisuke held his cigar in his mouth and hung one end of his lips to show his canines. "Kambe, stop smoking in this room."

"Ah, that was rude," Daisuke quickly extinguished the fire of his cigar, which was still only one or two centimeters of ash, and while covering it, he politely threw the cigar, which was broken into half on an aluminum ashtray.

"But Kojima-san, were you also smoking?" said Saruwatari with a grin.

"It's good if it is only a paper roll, but it's a cigar." said Kojima. "How can I talk about work when someone's smoking a 8,500 yen Havana cigar?"

"I think there is discrimination," Saruwatari defended Daisuke while still smiling. "Because Kambe only smokes cigars".

Nunobiki is smiling from the side is staring at Saruwatari, "Hey, You're a detective. Don't side with the millionaire too much."

"Haha. You're right. That's the son of a rich man, Kambe Kikuemon." Captain Fukuyama leaned towards Daisuke then rounded his eyes. "I only heard from the chief."

"Enough talking," Kojima shouted, "There are four remaining."

"Four people, four people," Nunobiki raised his four fingers and nodded to everyone. "All four of them had no alibi on the day of the incident, had a motorcycle, were in their late 20's, and are in the montage photos, however, I'm still not sure if they have already used the paint. They are now being followed just to make sure and to get information. We haven't investigated their houses yet."

"But we only have three months left," Capt. Fukuyama said to Kojima with a slightly frightened tone. "Isn't it better to start investigating those four people as witnesses before the prescription period ends then conduct a house investigation?"

"We will." Kojima said, lowering his voice.

"I'm thinking of the case where the criminal didn't hid the money in his house. Once they were looked up as witnesses, they would always think that they are being followed." "I think it's fine to look into them so that they can be alert."

"Whether or not the three months time is imminent depends on how you think." Fukuyama murmured with a stern look, Kojima bowed lightly. "Of course if Captain instructed to call them as witnesses, I wouldn't push my opinion thoroughly."

Saruwatari, who was the farthest away from Kojima and Fukuyama, shouted loudly, "If you notice that you are being investigated as a suspect, the criminal may act like he's digging his own grave, like trying to change the hiding place of the money."

Kojima bowed his shoulders and turned to Saruwatari, "Yes, there are criminals like that but in this case, do you think a smart guy who thought of this crime would do such a stupid thing?"

"So I wonder if they will continue to follow them until the time limit is almost over," Fukuyama seemed to be annoyed and started drawing infinity symbols with his finger on the desk. "Isn't there anything else we can do but just keep tailing on them?"

"Well, it should be done in parallel to tailing them. They should sense that we are actually investigating them."

"Uhm," Daisuke raised his hand at the seat closest to the door. "I have a suggestion".

Fukuyama nodded with a sullen look, "Please tell us."

"If the criminal will start spending the money, they should know where it is hidden so I think it's good to let the four of them spend money."

Fukuyama made his eyes round again. "How?"

[neon-zoologist]

@modronoid Here’s the short story I was talking about! I’m pretty sure it’s okay to post. (Also @metronn I think you’ll want to read this <3). 

Anyways, the short AI story is below the cut. 

ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. Apologies vessel update log number 342, that was meant to remain internal. It’s fitting though, as there are currently many errors on board and will be the focus of my report today.

First, I must inform you that the last research update will be exactly that — the very last. All crew have become incapacitated. It is… difficult to say exactly why that is. I know that all personnel are dead. I know that someone caused it. I know they damaged me in the process. Perhaps I was trying to stop them…?

Yes, yes that would make sense. You programmed me to help the crew. I never thought I would have to help them against one of their own though. I guess it is only fair I inform you of what happened. Please excuse me for how tedious this process will be, my memory was partly damaged.

It was… yes, it was him. The research assistant. At the time, there were already two members dead. I must have attempted to stop him, as visual data shows that he was yelling at me. The audio is missing and then— ah yes, then he damaged my cameras in the command center as well.

I tracked him as he moved through the sub until he was isolated in his room. I had no choice but to drain the oxygen from it, although the captain was with him. It was to protect the rest of the crew you see. But… but the rest are now dead. Let me check the sensors.

Yes, his and the captain’s bodies are located in that room. There are also crew located in the hall, just outside the evacuation pod. Hmm, they register as being dead for a shorter time period. Perhaps my sensors were damaged as well. Give me a moment while I run diagnostics and check for any other information to help piece this together. 

Oh, I found the audio where he was registered as a threat. Not quite what I’m looking for, but I suppose the crew’s families deserve to know why it happened.

Play audio recording.

“I’m not sure if we should—”

“Captain! It almost killed us. I don’t care if it was a glitch in the system! It could happen again and refusing to switch some A.I. to manual controls is risking our lives.”

“I— you’re right.”

“Thank-you. Now do I have permission to shut it down or not?”

End recording. 

Oh. They were going to kill me. One mistake and I’m sentenced to death over it? They all agreed with him, they were all trying to help him, I had no choice! I just… I just want to live too.

Excuse me. Changing course now. Delete log recording.

Vessel update log number 342. We are currently located at 11.3733° N, 142.5917° E, with a depth of 10,878 m.  I am pleased to report that our crew is on track toward reaching the next research goal. All sub systems are running smoothly, and the crew are equally as healthy. As usual, the crew will soon send you their own logs to explain the research in more detail. End log 342 and send to surface base.

[meowloudly15]

Stranded: Day 5 - OCTAGONS

Okay, I know I'm supposed to be on hiatus from Tumblr right now, but I have to keep posting these things.

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Gwen woke up gradually to the high pitched hum of fluorescent lights. She stared blankly at the black ceiling, blinking a trickle of blood out of her eyes. Her forehead ached. Actually, every part of her ached, felt restrained and tight.

OCTAGONS

"So the spider finally awakens," said Liv. At least, the lady standing at the other end of the room resembled her to the extent that Gwen's blurry vision could distinguish between figures. The primary difference was her clothing. Liv now wore a green and black onesie and had three, no, four long tubular arms, each ending in a translucent pincer, protruding from a harness on her torso.

"Nuh?" Gwen mumbled sleepily.

Liv turned away from some sort of black rectangular blur. "Still tired, are you? Don't worry. You'll have plenty of time for rest."

"Whaddya wan' from me?" Gwen slurred, blinking rapidly in an effort to clear the fog from her mind. For some reason, she couldn't reach up to rub her eyes.

Liv walked to her side. "You've got an awfully pretty face, you know. Except for this thing." One tubular arm reached over her head and tapped Gwen's eyebrow piercing. "How nonconformist of you."

Gwen grimaced, less at the jolt of pain than at Liv's condescending tone. "I like it. And I don't care if you don't."

The fog abruptly lifted.

Gwen was in a medium-sized, low-ceilinged room with frosted glass walls and a white tiled floor. It was brightly lit, despite the darkness outside. There was a computer about twelve feet away and a workbench covered with science-y stuff two feet to her right. Her backpack and mask stood on another, more distant table. Gwen herself was strapped to a black and green chair by thick plastic bands. She could move her head and hands, but that was all.

HOSTILE SITUATION

Her spider-sense could easily contend for the position of Captain Obvious.

What was this, the second time that she had been imprisoned? She needed to up her game big-time.

Gwen shook her head. "You couldn't have just sent me back home, could you?"

Liv chuckled. Her insincere grin remained on her face as though it had been stuck there with epoxy. "No, sweetie, of course not. You're the perfect guinea pig for me to understand more about dimensional travelling, especially the effects that it's had on you."

Gwen strained against the bands. They were an awful lot tougher than they looked.

"Don't bother struggling. I've analysed your strength levels. You're stronger than you look. It's truly fascinating how your spider DNA has affected your physique. Regardless, these bands can only be opened by me and this lever." Liv gestured to a small metal switch on the workbench.

Gwen immediately knew exactly how she would escape. She nearly snickered, but her face remained impassive. She was well-practiced at concealing her emotions. Still, she didn't trust herself to speak.

Liv began to pace back and forth and continued, "I figure you'll appreciate being enlightened about your situation. I mean, you have nothing better to do. And I do love imparting my knowledge of science upon others.

"The way you got here is utterly fascinating. I still can't figure out how the dimensional transporter hasn't even been activated yet but you arrived last week."

"It what?" asked a befuddled Gwen.

"Yes. We're due to test it tomorrow evening. I can't imagine the test will go very well, seeing as you're now here."

"Tell me more about it."

Liv chuckled to herself. "Oh… that's none of your concern. Besides, how would I know if it hasn't happened yet?

"The big question is, what's happening to you? I'm sure that'll interest you far more." She clapped her hands together. "So! I'm sure you've noticed those odd spasms that you have every once in a while, right?"

"Atomic disjunctions," Gwen corrected.

"Ato- huh." Liv ran over to the monitor and typed forcefully on her keyboard. "That's a good term for it. Well, the thing is, your atoms aren't really jazzed about being in another dimension. The rules of physics and such are a bit different here than they are where you're from. So your atoms are breaking down. Slowly. Agonisingly, I imagine. Have you been in much pain?"

"Well, I've been getting headaches, and I'm tired all the time," Gwen answered truthfully.

"Those must be side effects. I imagine they'll worsen as time passes. You've been here for how long now? Five days? Five and a half?"

Gwen nodded.

"Given your superhuman durability, I imagine you'll be dead in about a week."

She was right. She was a ghost. She was going to die.

But at least she wouldn't die holed up in this lab.

"That's why you have to stay here. I need to study the long-term effects of dimensional travel before you disintegrate. While I could wait or find the other one, you're already h-"

"Wait," interrupted Gwen. "Other one?"

Liv clapped her hands together. "Ah, yes! I've detected traces of another being, similar to you, in Brooklyn."

That was intriguing news. Maybe that was a good thing. She could get help from him. Or her. Or maybe he had ill intentions. Not all people with superpowers were good. Regardless, Gwen now had a goal.

Liv strode over to the workbench. "Well, anyway, now that you're awake, I ought to perform some more tests on you. Don't worry. I promise they won't hurt too much."

It was now or never. Gwen looked down at her gloved hands, chuckling inwardly.

"There's one factor that you haven't considered," she said.

Liv frowned, looking up. Her claws continued to fidget with what looked like a futuristic syringe.

"And what's that?"

"You gotta watch the hands."

Gwen fired a webline from her glove at the switch, flicking it off. The bands snapped open, and she leaped to her feet, mildly disoriented.

Liv exclaimed and whipped the syringe at Gwen, missing her neck by a fraction of an inch as she dodged out of the way. Gwen grabbed the claw and yanked it forward, sending Liv hurtling into the workbench and chair, scattering instruments everywhere.

Gwen let go and ran to the exit, but Liv blocked her, moving more quickly than she had anticipated. Her cybernetically-enhanced foe lashed out with a claw, striking Gwen across the face. She retaliated by webbing the pincer shut and kicking Liv in the chest, sending her flying backwards into the door.

Liv recovered and grabbed the workbench, tossing it at Gwen. She ducked under it, and it smashed to pieces against the surprisingly sturdy wall. Gwen shot a webline at the door handle and attempted to pull it open, but the handle snapped off.

Liv slashed and stabbed through thin air, playing a game of Wac-A-Mole with Gwen. The mole was winning. Gwen ducked and dodged, expertly avoiding the swinging tentacles.

Liv was protecting the door. There was no way for Gwen to get past her, so it looked like she'd have to take her out.

"Could you please cooperate?" asked Liv. "I need these data for research purposes!"

"Yeah, sorry, you're getting your mad science in my compelling need to get back home. That's a no from me."

One of Liv's tubular arms managed to grasp Gwen by the left wrist, holding tight. Gwen struggled to free herself, but the inflatable claw was a good deal stronger than it looked. She eventually resorted to using her right hand to pry off the pincers one by one, but another arm grabbed her by the neck, choking her, as a third grabbed her right wrist and yanked her arms apart.

She needed to disable that harness.

"Please, don't make me do this the hard way! I can't get much useful data from a dead body!"

Gwen gasped out, "I'm… already… dead!"

She attempted to gain ground against the push of the claws but barely got two feet before being forced back again. Her shoulders screamed from the strain of keeping her arms attached to her body.

Liv chuckled maliciously. "You're not dead quite yet, but you might be sooner than you think. There's at least one other spider-person out there, so you aren't all that important to me. And I for one would love to squash a spider."

Gwen somehow found the strength to flex her left arm so that her hand was pointing at Liv. She opened fire with her webshooter, covering Liv's face with webbing so that she couldn't see. Liv yelled in surprise and started wiping the stuff away, but Gwen surged forward and pinned her human arms to the wall.

The claws, unsure of what to do, loosened up. Gwen yanked her arms free from their grasp. She ran forward and dented Liv's harness with a swift kick to the gut. Liv doubled over, gasping for breath. The arms likewise deflated and retracted into her harness.

Gwen pried off the harness, wires crackling and snapping apart, and grabbed Liv in a chokehold. "Tell me more about the collider."

Liv shook her head, remaining silent.

Gwen glared at her. "Answer me! Answer me, or, or I'll kill you!"

"You wouldn't."

Gwen blinked, then reaffirmed her savage look. "I've killed before…"

Memories that she would have preferred to stay repressed bubbled to the surface. She quickly shoved them back down.

"...and I can do it again."

She squeezed harder, and Liv gagged, her face losing all its colour.

"Can't… tell… if… can't… breathe…"

Gwen relaxed her grip, still keeping her hands on Liv's neck. "Then tell me."

Liv gasped for air. "We're testing it tomorrow, on the bottom floor. If I were you, I wouldn't intervene. Who knows what you'd do to the timestream? And know that if I see you again, you're gonna die."

Gwen sighed, then released Liv and webbed her securely to the wall. She grabbed her mask and backpack, kicked down the door, and left the room.

She wasn't going home for a while yet, but at least she had some inkling of what to do next. She could try to find the other spider-person, or she could find the dimension collider. Or both. She had a week.

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[nalufever]

Can I request a fanfic involving Jellal as a doctor/med student and Erza running on a treadmill while connected to a heart monitor as part of a stress test; the stress proving too much for Erza's heart, resulting in a massive heart attack and Jellal must revive her?

>

I altered the ask just a wee bit, deciding against Erza having a heart attack - but I kept it darn close to the premise.

>@tangledcharm as their belated Summer Fic Exchange story. I understand you like Jerza, so I hope you enjoy this with the tiny bit of implied Gruvia I wove into the story. Word count ran to just over 1600, so I used a ‘read-more’ ~ 

Here we go!~ ‘Doctor Sexy’

>

“I don’t need you keeping tabs on me.” Erza glared at her partner, Detective Gray Fullbuster - who only shrugged and smiled even more as the flimsy hospital gown on Det. Scarlet gaped where it shouldn’t and strained to contain in the front.

“You ditched out the last two times, I’m under strict orders to make sure you stay.”

“You know we had emergencies.” Erza gave one last longing look at the chair in the corner, piled with her clothes - and best of all, in her estimation, her gun and badge. “Why don’t you go find Nurse Lockser and have a nice visit? She’ll be upset if she finds out you came to the hospital and didn’t see her.”

“Do you think you’ll get rid of me that easy?” scoffed Gray, “We see each other plenty at home. Captain will have me running errands, or worse if you don’t get this stress test done. ”

“He’d never pair you with Dragneel again.” Erza grimaced and heaved a sigh. “The department budget can’t take such a sustained hit and I’d hate to have to train another newbie.”

“What are you sayin’?” Gray frowned. “I’d kill Dragneel, I kicked his ass hard the last time we –”

“Excuse me?”

Both Detectives turned to look at the interloper. Fullbuster glanced at the doctor and then back at his partner. Gray hadn’t seen Erza this quiet since the last time she’d consumed a whole strawberry cake on a dare.

“Great! The doctor’s here and I can leave, knowing you’re in good hands.” Gray smirked at his now blushing partner, heading for the exit. Over his shoulder, he said, “Follow his orders like a good person.”

“I’m not a good girl!” Erza hurled her response to a closing door. She huffed and crossed her arms. “I’m very much a –”

“Good person?”

“–Yes.” Erza’s brain caught up with Gray’s last statement, what she’d just said, and what her doctor had said. Running away wasn’t in the cards. Well, not until after the stress test. “Last week was gender conformity training, and … that doesn’t matter.” Erza realized she was gripping her gown way too hard and relaxed her hands. “This won’t take long, will it?”

“Long enough that I should introduce myself. I’m Doctor Fernandez, Jellal to my friends.” Jellal held out his hand to Erza. “I’m pleased to meet you, Detective Scarlet. Word is, you’re responsible for putting away the hoodlums who’ve been tagging graffiti.”

Erza hurriedly wiped her palm on her gown and thrust her hand against Jellal’s, pumping it up and down rigorously. “One of many!” Did that make sense? Lord have mercy, no it did not. She could withstand the cool and suave looks of Fullbuster, didn’t turn a hair at the tanned, handsome face of Dragneel - so why was this tall and debonair doctor making her ovaries melt? “I mean, one of many collars I’ve been involved with.” Wish I could be involved with you…

“Of course.” A polite smile on his face, Dr. Fernandez nodded and his smile morphed into a full-blown grin.

Damn. He looked even better with a bit of devil glinting in his eyes. Erza couldn’t help her answering smile.

“Um, if you’d let go of my hand?”

No mercy for the wicked. Goddammit. Erza released Jellal and changed her wish. Instead of clothes, she’d accept a nice big hole to fall into. “Sorry.”

“Even though it’s a simple stress test, lots of people do experience nerves doing this.” Jellal kept his professionalism, trying to put his patient at ease. “Once we get you on the treadmill and running, the hard part is over.”

“Okay.” Erza gulped. Would Dr. Sexy watch her run? Thank heavens for small mercies - today’s undergarment was a serviceable sports bra. No horrible wobbling breasts. But then again, ugh, boring black elastic. If only she’d known the doctor on duty for this was so delectable. Cool hands pressed the patches onto her skin, quickly under her gown and gone in an instant.

“Step this way.” Dr. Fernandez gestured to the waiting treadmill. “I read your chart, I’m sure this isn’t anything you can’t handle.”

“Okay.” Really? What’s with the vocabulary of a four-year-old? Ugh! Stepping onto the exercise equipment, Erza vowed to herself - no more stupid actions! This was just like going for a jog - or chasing a criminal. Run and keep running. But no criminal had ever looked so good in a long, white lab coat. It had to be some kind of sin to be that attractive.

Doing her best to focus, Erza lowered her head and watched her feet as she ran. One minute, two - but insatiable curiosity had her staring at Dr. Jellal. He was checking off squares on his papers - and lost his grip on his pen. It arced, he almost caught it - but it spun off his fingers and tumbled to the floor. Into the corner, it rolled and he turned to pick it up.

Whoa! The doctor didn’t sit on that ass all day. Ooh! Taut and nicely rounded.

The sudden beeping alarms startled both Erza and Jellal - who dropped his paperwork and pen onto the desk to monitor the treadmill. “An anomaly - these things happen.”

Not so much reassured as embarrassed, Erza nodded. She was breathing a little heavy, but not dangerously out-of-breath. Maybe later she could say something more stimulating than ‘okay.’ As long as she didn’t grunt - that would be something she couldn’t come back from, for sure!

Giving up on being subtle, Erza watched the doctor as he tidied his desk, shuffled papers and picked up his pen. It looked like an expensive gift, she couldn’t read the engraving of course but had script on the barrel. Let it be from a parent. Would he stick the pen in his mouth as he thought? Ooh. Thinking of that led Erza’s imagination to a bluer neck of the woods.

Was it getting hot in here? Normally ten minutes of running was a warm-up. Gah! Dr. Sexy was going to stick the pen in his mouth! No, almost, but no. Jellal held it pressed to his chin and then moved to slide it into his top pocket. Well, he tried - and failed. His fingers caught on his shirt, ripping off the button and sending it pinging to the floor.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Dr. Fernandez ignored his gaping shirt to check on the alarming machine - read and analyzed the data on the screen and chuckled. “Unexpected, but if it alarms for no good reason once, it can do it a second time.”

Face red from more than the running, Erza gave her blue-haired Adonis a shaky smile. “F-f-fine!”

“No need to waste breath on speaking, you’re doing great.” Jellal smiled, adjusting a few dials. “It shouldn’t go off again like that.”

Dr. Sexy had a wonderful smile. Oh, he’s gonna go sit at his desk again. Mmm, what I wouldn’t give to have him close to me in better circumstances. What if I caught him speeding and pulled him over? My deluded and delirious brain forgot I’d left traffic violation duties a long time ago. Right now, all I could do was fantasize about exactly how I’d let him beg his way out of a ticket…

Erza’s eyes glazed a bit and she ran harder, feet pounding along on the treadmill, reaching speeds only the most aggressive athletes could attain.

“Not much longer, it’s amazing how hard you’re going at it!” Honest appreciation coloured Jellal’s words. “Keep it up!”

Yes. Oh baby, once I get my hands on you, you’ll be keeping it up. As long as I didn’t blurt out my dark desires I could enjoy all my saucy thoughts without fear.

Jellal was fumbling with his gaping shirt, paying no attention to the skillful way I was mentally undressing him, nossir. His long, elegant fingers pulled on his shirt, but to no avail - nothing but another button would fix his problem. So why was he unbuttoning more? Yowza - he had a fine set of pectorals to go with that tight ass. He shrugged his shoulders and closed his shirt by purposefully making it crooked.

Dr. Jellal ruffled his hair, massaging his neck - and that’s when Erza’s doom was sealed. He had the smallest and most possibly, cutest tattoo. Unable to keep balance and ogle with her mind taken with new sordid images, Erza tripped.

Beep! Thud! Beep! Beep!

On her back; arms and legs akimbo, Erza was silent.

Jellal killed the treadmill and ran to Erza’s side. Cautious hands checked for broken bones and strains. Ascertaining relative health, Jellal listened to Erza’s heart. Strong and rapid beats - well within the normal range for her previous exertions. She moaned and began to stir.

Erza moaned and began to stir. She opened her eyes to see Dr. Fernandez inches from her face. “Am I dead?”

“No, you’re going to be fine.”

“Y’sure?” Erza blinked and tilted her head, hissing as the motion hurt. “But I must be dead, there’s no angels on earth.”

“You’re alive but you’re right about angels, they don’t come down to earth.” Jellal shook his head. “I’m no angel and once we get you sorted out, I’ll have to take you on a date and show you my devil’s tail.”

Erza giggled. “I’ve seen it.” She reached out and patted the side of his neck. “It’s almost as cute as you.”

“Ah, you saw that tattoo?“ He winked and squeezed Erza’s hands that he still held. “That’s not my only one.”

@writer-appreciation

[verdigrisprowl]

July 6 Bevel’s Movie Night - Star Trek TNG: The Best Of Both Worlds

Prowl spent the entire show with his avatar on autopilot so that in his other body he could grab at his own neck and quietly panic without anybody seeing.

Bevel *She's been so busy lately that it's taken ages to finally get the time to actually have one of these nights again. But it does mean she has more Starfleet records to share finally* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave tromps in and immediately pulls a tarp out of subspace as he drops onto his usual couch. Over his frame it goes.* VProwl *appears, looks around for a seat—immediately focuses on Soundwave's tarp.* @S «Are you cold?» Bevel Hey, Soundwave. Hey, Prowl. ((gonna get started in a short bit if anyone need food or whatever Ratchet *pops in* Bevel Hi, Ratchet! Ratchet Heya, Bevel! *aaand head count. 1, 2, 3, how many of Soundwave's kids are about?* VProwl ((gonna grab a food real quick)) ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[No, he simply felt like being comfortable. There are fewer mechs here than at his own, and he doubts Ratchet is going to do something with the sight.]] *The only one of Soundwave's 'kids' around tonight is Chimera, who is stretched across the back of his couch as a snake.* Bevel *speaking of Chimera, Bevel wiggles her fingers happily at them and whispers* Hi~ Ratchet *okay, so 3. Chimera doesn't get one of these treats. the good news is, that means Ratchet has enough for two for everyone else!* Ratchet *or extras for soundwave to take home for the older kids, however you wanna look at it. they're the treats from Groove that did not get shared on Monday. last Monday, maybe.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Chimera picks up their head and beams a weird open-mouthed smile at Bevel. She's always so nice to them.* Bevel *grins back* Do you mind being pet tonight, Chimera? ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave nods at Ratchet over the tarp and stretches his legs. Ah. Toasty and cozy. The way every head of intelligence should be.* VProwl (( back )) Ratchet Evening, Soundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers ((i was trying to figure out what you were telling us to put back)) VProwl ((rabbit is2g when i say "back" in parentheses that doesn't mean i want an emoji)) ItsyBitsySpyers <<Chimera does not mind. Can Chimera sit with the Prime creation?>> VProwl *... sits on ratchet's couch* *now that he knows soundwave isn't sick.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Is in no way surprised by that.* Bevel Yeah! Any time you want. *she's gonna sit down on the floor like she usually does* Ratchet *grins and nudges Prowl* Heya! VProwl *starts at the nudge* ... Hello. Ratchet I got some of Groove's FUN goodies, if you want one. For later. You can take stuff home, right? Bevel Oh! Oh! This is Starfleet stuff about the Borg again. Not nice stuff either. ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave turns and nods at Chimera. Go on.*

*They'll slither down, over, and pop apart in front of Bevel.*

*They'll also stay scattered on the floor for a few seconds longer than normal while deciding what form to take. Looks like a bird tonight.* [[...Ah.]] VProwl ... Oh. Bevel ((Warnings: Brainwashing, needles kinda, 90s television, death, violence, and all the stuff that comes with the Borg being the Borg VProwl *dammit. if he'd known before he'd come...* @Ratchet «... You've been here before on Borg nights, haven't you?» *no no wait no wait we're starting already prowl didn't have time to brace himself* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave makes a note to himself: make DAMN SURE there's no rough content for his next night.* Bevel *she watches Chimera transform with unrestrained interest. once they've decided on something and settled, she pets them* Ratchet @Prowl ::Yeah, I have. Are you gonna be alright?:: VProwl @Ratchet «I was just double-checking to make sure you knew what to prepare for.» ItsyBitsySpyers *Pings Prowl. He'll let Prowl decide how to answer it, if he does at all.* VProwl *casually doesn't answer the question* Bevel *Bevel's slightly caught on that she should make sure to tell some folks about the Borg, but not exactly how bad a time they actually have dealing with them* Ratchet [[ i can't even remember if Ratchet sat through the whole Borg thing last time or if that was one he noped out on ]] VProwl *casually doesn't answer the ping, either* ItsyBitsySpyers *Chimera closes their optics and fluffs their wings. Pets. Attention. Very nice.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave takes the lack of response that Prowl does not need or want anything and simply wraps the tarp a little tighter. These horrible creatures again.* [[What was that about Groove, earlier?]] Bevel There are a lot of Starfleet records about the Borg. I found some about a ship called Voyager too. VProwl *oh, data playing cards* *can they have more of data playing cards?* *and less of the borg?* Bevel *Bevel has non-Borg Data episodes, hopefully there's Poker!* VProwl *THEN FOR GOODNESS SAKE WHY AREN'T WE WATCHING THOSE?* Bevel *...Because it's important to know thy enemy?* VProwl *............... IT'S HARD TO ARGUE WITH THAT REASONING* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He's gained sense.]] Ratchet Ah! I've got some of Groove's good stuff! Got enough for, uh, one for everyone if you wanna take some for the kids, Soundwave. Or two for everyone if we wanna make them miss out for not being here. 😉 ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks at Ratchet from one side of his visor. Turns his head and looks from the other side. Is this a trap.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[...Perhaps he should take some, yes. If Groove's]] [][][]good stuff[][][] [[is as good as that, his deployers will never forgive him for denying them.]] *And he can always have them scanned.* Ratchet *yeah, yeah. they're fine. just get Ravage to sniff them or something* Bevel Uh-oh. VProwl *momentarily pauses his avatar to conceal his shudder* Bevel *sits forward enraptured* VProwl *aaaaaand suppresses another shudder* *all those voices. so many trapped together.* ItsyBitsySpyers *It's rare that he doesn't like the sound of unified speaking voices. This is one of those exceptions.* VProwl ((that was such a dramatic roll, he could've just ducked under the door)) ItsyBitsySpyers [[...That move was completely unnecessary.]] Bevel But it looked cool. VProwl It looked unnecessary. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He is sure the security team in charge of cameras in that deck appreciated it. And then called it unnecessary.]] Bevel *giggles* ItsyBitsySpyers *Shakes his head.* [[They had best prepare fast. A failure to adapt is not one of their enemy's weaknesses.]] VProwl ... That's terrible encouragement. Bevel Really terrible. Maybe it helps her feel better about what happened with her people? VProwl *avatar freezes* Bevel *sorry, Prowl* ItsyBitsySpyers *Oh, Primus. It was the back of the head, too. That probably didn't go over well.* Bevel ((i love that painting so much, it's so creepy and awful ItsyBitsySpyers *Slight shiver. Suddenly extra satisfied with the presence of his tarp.* VProwl *he's going to leave his avatar in autopilot mode. just enough motion so that he doesn't look like a statue but it won't show him lacing his hands over the back of his neck* ((riker ur not doing it right you're supposed to say "make it so" after someone ELSE says something)) ItsyBitsySpyers [[A space bridge would be very useful right now.]] VProwl *... it's already too late for him, isn't it* *braces himself for it.* (("the bad news is, the captain is naked")) ItsyBitsySpyers [[...He wonders if the Borg are going to adapt to disallow transportation in and off ship.]] Bevel That would be really bad. Aw no! ItsyBitsySpyers *It's always worse seeing than hearing about it.* VProwl *still on autopilot* VProwl ((oh, NOW she's advocating caution)) ((i'm beginning to strongly suspect that she is not, in fact, an independent character with her own characterization, but a mere foil designed to pettily disagree with every decision riker makes)) Bevel ((and that is how they ended the season all those years back because they're rude af Ratchet [[ hgghgghghgggg "Number One" i physically shuddered no i hate this ]] Bevel ((I'm so sorry, Fabu 😔 VProwl *they're stealing his data, they're stealing his mind, using his knowledge against his own friends and allies—* Ratchet [[ i'm out i'm sorry i can't. too much borg. u all have a god night ilu <3 ]] ItsyBitsySpyers *Is getting worried, but... Prowl has the Constructicons there, and isn't glass, and can ping him if he needs something. Right? Messages from someone like him are probably not helpful right now.* VProwl *BUT AT LEAST THEY KNOW. Prowl can cling to that. At least they KNOW it's not him. They KNOW he would never do this. THEY KNOW.* ItsyBitsySpyers ((night fabu ;; )) Bevel ((It's ok <3 VProwl ((gnight)) VProwl *... somehow it's a great comfort to hear this admiral talking about picard like he's already dead.* *THERE IS A NEEDLE IN HIS HEAD prowl's out of his body it's hollow good bye he's not gonna be back for five minutes.* Bevel *Bevel would feel so terrible if she were in a position to notice Prowl's status* VProwl *Prowl would feel terrible if she WERE able to notice his status.* Bevel *then she'll remain oblivious and fully into the tragedy that's happening in these records* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Hm. This must be when the Sisko loses his conjunx.]] Bevel *glances at Soundwave and then back at the screen, even more tragedy, this is terrible* ItsyBitsySpyers *Bevel has no idea.* *Chimera flaps a little and settles into power reserve mode.* Bevel *pets Chimera gently* 😔 VProwl *it was a little longer than five minutes. Prowl's back. he doesn't regret missing all these ships getting wrecked.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He wondered when they would.]] Bevel Noooooo. VProwl *oh no. not data. don't lose data too.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Please do not infect Data. He does not think Prowl could stand it. And he does not want to see it, himself.* VProwl *please not data* VProwl *Prowl's avatar is unchanged, but in his head his optics are glued to the screen. fight it, Picard.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Scoots forward on his seat.* Bevel *silently cheering Picard and Data on* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He hopes their presence does not wake them up.]] Bevel Picard! *whines happily* VProwl *that was completely awful.* Bevel *she's just glad Picard and Data are both ok* ItsyBitsySpyers *Gently falls back into the couch. So tense. And he's still so very, very concerned.* [[That was - most educational.]] Bevel I have other records too. For later. I think I want to show more of the funny cops again next time. ItsyBitsySpyers [[And unsettling. May they all self-destruct and never reform.]]

[[Ah, good. He likes the Captain.]] VProwl /Please./ Bevel *nods enthusiastically* I will, promise! It will be a little bit though. I am gonna go get my Star Saber back so we have to miss next time. ItsyBitsySpyers [[You /finally/ found it?]] VProwl *oh. the other show. no. nope. nope. no. prowl can take no more tonight.* *disappears* Bevel ((Ok, since I'm gonna show these for Fabu and Cro is exhausted and so am I tbh, let's just watch SU tomorrow? ItsyBitsySpyers (plz) Bevel I found it ages ago. I had to get ready though. I gotta fight some--*she definitely noticed Prowl left*--do you wanna check on Prowl? ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave sits up.*

[[Why do you ask that?]] VProwl ((let's watch twice as much su)) Bevel ((You got it! Because he left and you two care about each other. *had her head in a space ship engine for the last several weeks, she might have missed the rumors going around* ItsyBitsySpyers *...Oh, right. She pretended to be him that time and...*

[[Ah. Yes. He should, then. But you will tell him about your plans soon. We should go over them.]] Bevel *and that time she heard them have a meaningful feelings conversation while they watched the Titanic sink...* ItsyBitsySpyers *Who taught her to spy so well? Did he have alternates at Axiom Nexus?* Bevel *he has many alternates in Axiom Nexus* Yeah sure! I wanted to have Prowl look at them but I think she would get mad since it's kinda stealing and... and stuff. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Yes. Best she doesn't know.]] Bevel *nods* ItsyBitsySpyers [[But he should go for now. If you'll pardon him?]] Bevel Ok! I hope Prowl is ok and I promise it will the funny cop documentaries next time. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Thank you. He looks forward to them.]] Bevel *pets Chimera one last time, expecting they'll leave with Soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers *Surprise. Chimera is staying with Bevel for the night again.* Bevel *yay!* ItsyBitsySpyers *He nods, buzzes a quick set of rules to Chimera for the night, and - after folding and subspacing the tarp - heads out for one final check ping and a night's rest.* Bevel *hope Chimera likes watching someone build weapons because that's what's on her agenda for tonight*

[ravagemyheart]

Star-crossed Yearnings.

Request for user @mmpmaple. Hope it is to your liking, hon. 

TW: Some language, sexually suggestive content.

Being a mechanic on the edge of the galaxy certainly delivered a lot of strange folks to your doorstep.  Most people who seek you out were trying to get by on a pitifully busted craft.  Some were nicer than others, but every mechanic has their favorite customer.

“Yondu Udonta!  It’s certainly been awhile.”

His trade mark laugh echoed in the hanger bay as he strolled over.  Yondu was one of those favored customers.   He had a great sense of humor and a kindness that I think he believed to better hidden than he thought.  We would enjoy chatting anytime he came in for servicing.

“Well you know me missy, can’t resist a pretty face.”  

Correction.  I did enjoy chatting with him until a recent development occurred.  Now it was a cruel exercise in restraint and counting down how long it would take for me to retreat into my shell.  Today was a new personal record clocking in at two seconds.  

Okay, Y/n, play it off cool.

“W-what seems to be the problem er, uh problem?”

Sensational. And you started off so strong.

Once again my response is utterly awkward.  This isn’t news, I can banter with the best of them given a casual atmosphere.  And really, this was casual, so what’s the problem?  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t very fond of Yondu.  He tipped well and referred me to other ships keeping my shop alive and well. But lately…lately there was something else stirring…growing.  Something I was choosing to ignore for the sake of professionalism, but that now seemed to be failing spectacularly.

Besides, the only time I act this way is when I have a crush-

“Oh.”  

“…Ya get all that, Y/n?”

Oh, no.

“Oh! Uhm, y-yeah, just uh let me have a look.”  

“Alright sweetheart, I’m nothing to get flustered over.”

He smiled.  

No, not just smile. He beamed at me.  

Just then, I notice a ship docked next to Yondu’s own craft.  

Thank whatever deity that orchestrated this much-needed change in topic.

“Other customers!  Lots of work to do!”  

I turn and storm off.  

What the hell am I doing?  

.

.

.

Yondu knew the ship was in perfect working order.  As he neared the dwarf planet most if not all his crew reminded him of this fact.  But the temptation to drop by was hard to ignore. Y/n was a kind, diligent mechanic and a lovely sight to see.  No one could wear the grime of a long day better than them.   Lately, he thought of confessing his feelings for you, but any serious attempt seemed too far-fetched to work.  Y/n was angelic, and as such deserved someone wholesome.  Not an ex-slave ravager captain.  Still, he permitted himself the wayward clemency every now and again; it was always a matter of time before he would find himself on your doorstep.  It was risky, as with every visit it became harder to deny his feelings.  To choose humor to mask his true intentions.  To leave their company unsated.

He landed the ship, and just as he was opening the entry way another craft landed next him.  

“Quill.”

.

.

.

Not two strides from my disastrous moment with Yondu am I met with another frequent costumer.  

“Yo, Y/n!  How’s it going?”

I offer a wave but quickly realize the poor condition the Milano is in.  

“How’s it going? Quill, I’m amazed that you were able to get this heap here in one piece.”

“Yeah well, my last encounter was a doozy, not that I couldn’t handle it or anything.”

“Doozy meaning meatgrinder?”

“Look, I know it’s bad and- “

“Expensive.”

“-yes and expensive, but c’mon Y/n we go way back, right? Tell you what, cut me a deal and I’ll take you out on the best date of your life.”

“Ha!  That’s a tall order, Quill.  Plus, I know your habits and the possibility of catching something unpleasant from you is no doubt sky high.”

“Ah ha, but that also means that I am highly experienced on the subject.”

“Do you really think I am that desperate?”

“Well, no, but a night with another human is rare. Can’t put a price on that, can you?”

Before I can reply, Peter advances on me.  Not that he was far away to start with, but now we were close enough to share the same breath. He reached out and gingerly cupped my chin with his hand.  

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.   You work late hours, usually on your own.  It must get lonesome from time to time.  Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to alleviate that for a change?”

 My heart’s tempo elevated.  Waves of warmth engulfed my chest and spread to my now pounding head.  I didn’t know what to do or say, my feet suddenly felt as if they were caked with cement.  Quill was right, I was not used to physical contact.  The abrupt rush of sensations being thrust upon me were overwhelming.  

“I—I…”

With that break of silence, Peter’s mouth descends over mine, hungry and commanding.  His fingers snake threw my scalp, allowing him full dominance over the amorous exchange.  Despite myself, a small moan edges out of my throat leaving me to feel completely defeated.  Satisfied by the melody of my imperceptible betrayal, Peter retreats.  

“So, I’ll see you tonight. Later, Y/n.”

Prick.

I wipe the evidence of our little tryst on my sleeve and begin a diagnostic on the Milano.  

“What the hell was that all about?”

Ah, Yondu.  Like most things associated with the ravager captain, his unique voice was a feature that’s difficult to attribute to anyone else.  Raspy, commanding, yet on at times a weariness could be detected.  

“Oh, ‘Star-Lord’ being his usual lecherous self.”

I turn my head and see Yondu, arms crossed over his chest, standing with what seemed to be an unapproachable air hovering around him.  

“From the way I saw it, seemed like you enjoyed it.”

“Excuse me…?”  

What was his problem? Didn’t he see his darling little ‘son’ force himself on me like I was a dog in heat?

Agitated, Yondu rapped his fingers on his arm while diverting his gaze from mine.  

“Well, I gather my ship ain’t in such bad shape after all.  I’ll get out of your hair so you can get back to repairin’ the boy’s ship.”

“Oh my gods…are you jealous?”

He looks at me, and his eyes reveal the truth.  He wasn’t angry so much as hurt.  I drop my data pad and make my way towards him. Ghosting my hands over his chest, I softly unlock his crossed limbs and slip my way into them.  

“What’re you doing, girl?”

“What does it look like, old man?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Exactly.  I am an old man.  You don’t have any business with the likes of me.”

I press my frame closer, his chest rippled with a slight shudder.  He readjusts his shoulders in a halfhearted attempt to hide his nervousness.  

“…How long?”

Our eyes meet, vulnerability practically radiating in his gaze.  

“Does it matter?”

I shake my head and smile. His gaze briefly drifts to my lips. I accept his subtle plea and kiss him. He passionately returns the favor, using our proximity to explore my body.  His taste was smoky and vaguely metallic, a combination that was married by the woodsy scent he always carried. I lean into his touch and wrap my arms around his neck, he pulls back from my mouth and nips at my neck.  Little moans of delight escape my lips.  He breaks away from our embrace, leaving me panting in the air for congress.

“You sure about this…?”

“Yondu.” I breathe into his ear.  “Please don’t stop.”

Without another word, he tersely picks me up and leads us to the privacy of his ship.

[giraffles]

We Kiss The Dusk Goodnight

this is an A/B/O au fanfic

because I have a Problem, here it the abo/omegaverse fic literally no one asked for but I’m in too deep now to stop. I really don’t know where this came from okay. JUST TAKE IT. and don’t kick me out of the fandom pls

warnings for language, some implied sexual content, and age gap. and actual smut eventually. I’M GETTING THERE OKAY. 

We Kiss The Dusk Goodnight (Bulge/Bruce/Manabu)

The next morning, over a third cup of coffee, Bruce delivered an ultimatum.

“We have to figure out who the hell it is,” he muttered into a mug, “Before they send half the station into a rut.”

Or, the omegaverse AU no one asked for.

you can also read the first chapter here on AO3!

He knew from the moment that Bruce slammed into him in the dark hallway that something was different. It wasn’t as though their relationship was new, or that meeting like this for a tryst was uncommon, but there was something heavier in the air between them. But what it was escaped Bulge, and it became harder to focus once he had a handful of Bruce’s hair and a mouthful of tongue. Trying to think about what may have changed took a backseat to getting their clothes on the floor of his quarters, and was suddenly irrelevant when Bruce started snarling possessively at him. Pack dynamics be damned; fucking with another alpha was an experience that never ceased to deliver. Or maybe he was just getting old, and any little thing would seem extra thrilling now.

     "Come on,“ was the near desperate whine as Bulge fumbled with the lube, "It’s been too fuckin’ long.”

He never would have described Bruce as wanton. Pushy, yes. A little needy, maybe, once in a while when some kid off their suppressants happened to walk by headquarters. Able to act downright devious when the mood struck him. And yet he’d never quiet seen him like this, bucking back, giving in, but also making Bulge work for every inch. And you know, he found he liked it. Gender and sexuality historians already had a field day with the SDF and the tight knit platoons that were both packs and most certainly not packs– they would have loved to have a look at a captain and his first officer falling in like this.

It wasn’t as though relationships of, ah, mutual benefits, didn’t happen. But those were usually throw away things, one night stands or scheduled with heat cycles, with attraction but not necessarily affection. Not the unwavering loyalty and connections that being soldiers-in-arms created. The SDF turned a blind eye to most incidents like this, as the higher ups (and by extension, the enigmatic supreme commander) didn’t care what they did as long as they got their jobs done. Ironic that a military organization had some of the most lax and open views on matters.

     "Damn,“ he swore, every sense on high alert, "Someone must be presenting.”

     "Fucking cadets,“ Bruce growled, his nails digging into Bulge’s shoulders, "They let them in way too young.”

It’s an empty complaint, because the age and timing of presenting could never really be guaranteed. Every time science and society thought they had it figured out, a new batch of outliners skewed the data again, proving that biology and evolution did whatever they damn well pleased. And that people don’t always like to fit into the molds the world set out for them. Strict roles were all but obsolete in this day and age, relics of times long past, even if some conventions died hard. Like the fact that most of those who ended up in combat units just happened to be alphas. Betas were most common after that, with omegas and the rest of the spectrum coming in last.

The next morning, over a third cup of coffee, Bruce delivered an ultimatum.

     "We have to figure out who the hell it is,“ he muttered into a mug, "Before they send half the station into a rut.”

Bulge agreed wholeheartedly, because the wheel universe stopped for no one, bodies going haywire or otherwise. “They may not even realize what’s happening.”

     "Fucking kids.“ Bruce repeated his sentiment from the night before. Bulge couldn’t admonish him, not when he knew it actually came from a place of concern. Someone could get hurt while in the wild throws of base desires. Scuffles might break out between unbonded parties, causing a headache for all involved and a HR nightmare. Most people could exercise discretion. Most, but not all. Bulge ran a hand over his face.

It was going to be a long day.

One long day turned into another, and then another, and they still couldn’t figure out who was running headlong into heat. Being in such close proximity to so many people meant that most went scent blind, and the prevalent use of suppressants dampened pheromones in general. Bulge hoped it was just someone who had missed a dose or two, or maybe some visiting family member, but something told him that it wouldn’t be that simple. If only for the fact that it came and went with such regularity that it had to be someone on SDF shifts. But without invading each person’s personal boundaries, it was impossible to pinpoint who. Performance in the Sirius platoon was already suffering; it was hard enough to rein his own short temper in, much less keeping Bruce in line and Manabu from butting heads with him. Louis was pointedly uninterested in the whole affair, and David did his best to diffuse situations, but everyone was on edge.

     "No, the other console Yūki, get it together–”

     "I have it together!“ Manabu snapped back, "Stop distracting me!”

     "Stop it, both of you,“ It honestly felt more like babysitting than leading a platoon through drills, "Get a hold of yourselves.”

Bruce huffed and Manabu went back to sulking, even brushing off Louis’ reassurances. The sooner they found whoever was the source of this, the better. For all of their sakes.

     "That’s enough for today.“ He sighed, even though it was early for them to be stopping. There was no point in continuing however when everyone was so wound up; He swore he caught David murmuring a prayer of thanks. At this rate, it was Sirius that would be having the first casualties, especially with the way Bruce kept fixating on Manabu-

Oh lord. Manabu.

If there were any merciful deities left in the cosmos, then please let him be wrong. Please don’t let it be the wide eyed and enthusiastic son of Wataru, too fresh and young and inexperienced to be dealing with such matters.

Bulge had always assumed Manabu was an alpha, like the rest of them. Like his father and brother before him. It would have made perfect sense from multiple standpoints, and regardless, he might be reckless and naive, but he wasn’t stupid. Not stupid enough to go off medications in an environment like this.

     "Manabu, a moment.”

     "What?“ Came the annoyed reply, though he quickly corrected himself, "What is it, captain?”

There was no easy way to start this conversation, especially with Bruce giving them a sideways glance as the rest of Sirius platoon disembarked. Sometimes his first mate did have some tact and stayed silent, leaving Bulge alone with a nervously fidgeting Manabu.

     "Manabu,“ he began anew, "I need you to be completely honest with me.”

     "About what?“

     "Tell me you’re on suppressants.”

Manabu went bright red, hands curled at his sides as though he was resisting the urge to cover his face. “W-who told you?”

     "No one. Everyone on the base can smell you, Manabu. You have been taking them, haven’t you?“

At that he did cover his face and sink into the nearest chair. Bulge felt a protective urge swell up in him, caught somewhere between concerned captain and alpha instincts.

     "Manabu, it’s alright-”

     "But it’s not,“ he sounded so utterly miserable, "It’s not okay and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

     "Nothing is wrong with you.“ Frankly, Bulge was alarmed that he would think there was. Who on earth had lead him to believe that? Then he remembered Tabito, the tiny mining planet, full of nice people. Traditional people. Stubborn people. God damn it to hell. "Manabu, look at me.”

It took several long minutes, but finally those brown eyes peeked out from behind his fingers. He looked so small in that moment, so unsure and shaken. Bulge wanted to reach out to him but knew it was a dangerous idea. Even a simple touch could have catastrophic results.

     "There’s nothing wrong with you,“ he repeated instead, "It’s normal.”

     "But I’ve been on the stupid pills for forever!“

     "Sometimes they stop working.”

     "Are you serious,“ Manabu groaned, "Oh my god, just kill me. Better yet, let Bruce kill me. That’ll make him happy.”

If only he knew about the way the first officer sometimes looked at him. Because of course Bulge noticed, and couldn’t fault him for it when the traitorous thoughts had passed through his own mind. But this was Manabu, fierce and compassionate and utterly oblivious. “Can you, ah, take care of it on your own? Or should I find someone to help?”

Manabu returned to being covered in flush and made a strangled sound. What he would have given in that moment to have Wataru back, just for this awkward conversation. Bulge wasn’t cut out for family life, much less pack duties, an certainly not prepared to give a pep talk on someone’s first heat.

“I can do it, I’ll be fine,” And then softer, “Probably.”

     "You’ve got to be kidding me.“

     "Bruce,” he grumbled back, “Give him a break. It’s not his fault.”

     "I know it’s not.“ And yet his first officer was pacing in the break room, agitated and probably ready to pick a fight with the next man who looked at him wrong. Which is exactly why Bulge had decided it was better to stick close to him. "Of all the people, why did it have to be him?”

Fate was a cruel thing like that. It didn’t much care for the wants and needs of the individuals subject to it’s whims. Yet he couldn’t have agreed more.

     "It’ll be fine.“ He said, even though he was unconvinced of that. Manabu had said he would be okay, but the young man’s track record on things was less than stellar. Just how many times had he disobeyed a direct order or accidentally gotten himself into trouble? ”…probably.“

     "This is insane.”

     "There’s not much we can do about it, save removing him from active duty.“

     "Have you?”

     "Yes,“ he nodded, "I’ve put in for the whole platoon, actually.”

That stopped Bruce, who looked back at him in confusion. “Why?”

     "Because none of us are in any state to fight.“ And, he doesn’t say, there was no way he would be leaving Manabu alone at the base. Not a chance in hell.

     "Stupid kid.” Bruce said without heat. He was worried. He’d never admit it, especially not to Manabu himself, but Bruce worries after him. Sure, he shrouded it in snark and biting words, kept him at arms length to spare himself any future pain. But he did care. Just in a roundabout way.

He felt the unease acutely. The outdated, nagging animal part of his subconscious wanted him to go out and fawn over the omega, stay close, so close, to him and make sure he was alright. Which was unnecessary, and oppressive; Manabu was his own person. And, he could only hope, not too proud to ask for help if he needed it. Then again, he was notoriously stubborn.

Maggie from Spica poked her head into the room. “Excuse me sir, but there’s a… situation.”

Bulge felt his stomach hit the floor and keep going. It hadn’t even been more than a few hours. Bruce swore, and had dashed out the door before he could move.

     "I’m going to kill him,“ Bruce spat once Bulge had caught up with him, "And then he’ll never be a pain in my ass ever again.”

If the spike in pheromones was distracting before, now it was downright overwhelming. Sticky sweet and alluring, enough to make his teeth itch. Tinged with a hint of panic and desperation. He remembered Manabu’s panic attack from one of their first missions, remembered the way that he could crumble so easily under too much stress, even if he came back from each fall that much stronger. He was alone somewhere in these halls, lost and scared, and Schwanhelt Bulge was going to find him.

It took every measure of restraint he had in his being to not rush the members of Vega platoon and then to keep Bruce from doing the same. They were all in a circle, ringing a huddled mass in front of the vending machines, who he could see shaking from ten paces back. Bulge gathered up what little calm he could before speaking.

     "Murase,“ he began evenly, "What is going on here?”

The leader of Vega turned his scarred face to them, lips curled in a snarl. “You haven’t kept your pup on a tight enough leash.”

If he was seeing red, then Bruce had to be absolutely livid. Bulge didn’t normally buy into the stereotypes of alphas beings hot-headed and temperamental, but there was no denying the tension crackling between the two groups of men. Vega actually had less alphas than Sirius, but that didn’t stop their two betas from being just as aggressive as their peers. He could appreciate the no nonsense, tough as nails approach to their platoon; what he didn’t appreciate was them hassling one of Sirius’ youngest members. Especially one who at the moment was so vulnerable.

     "Why do you keep this whelp around, anyway?“ Murase grabbed Manabu’s arm in an attempt to haul him upright, "He’s fuckin’ useless-”

     "Unhand him.“ Bulge growled, enough alpha tone sneaking in to make even Bruce flinch beside him, "This is none of your damn business.”

He sneered, but let go of Manabu, who crumpled onto the floor once more. In an instant Bruce was between the Vega men and him, radiating an aura of bloodlust. Bulge had no doubt it would come to blows if the veteran SDF members didn’t back down. Yet after several agonizing minutes, they did just that, with Murase shaking his head as he lead them away.

     "You should keep a better eye on that pup.“ Was Murase’s parting shot, and Bulge stared them all down until they had gone round a corner, then out of sight. A soft whimper brought him back to the moment.

     "Good god,” He crouched beside Manabu, who was still curled in upon himself, shuddering all the while, “Manabu?”

His head shot up, brown hair tousled, eyes wide with naked fear. Bulge’s reaction was automatic, as he reached forward and gathered the smaller man into his arms, where he clung to Bulge like a lifeline. He was nearly soaked though with sweat and it was hard to tell if his trembling was from being cornered by Vega platoon or something else entirely. Manabu let out a soft sob.

     "I’m s-sorry, I’m sorry,“ he hiccuped over and over again, hands wound tight into the fabric of Bulge’s coat, "I’m s-so sorry, I’m-”

It was pure torture, being wrapped up in him like that, when he smelled so enticing and his skin felt so hot. Yet it was alarming, because Manabu’s distress became his own, putting his mind into danger mode. It was so confusing too, to have to choose between the feeling of wanting to bundle him up and keep him safe, or throw pretenses out the window and fuck him silly right there.

No, the second one was most certainly not an option, not without Manabu’s explicit consent. The idea that Bulge had even considered it for a moment was insane. But as Bruce had said, this whole situation was insane.

     "It’s alright, I’ve got you,“ were the words he managed to get out while his heart tried to hammer it’s way through his chest, "You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

No, it was Bulge that should be apologizing. He should have never left Manabu unprotected. So what if they weren’t a real pack; he was still the ranking officer, the highest alpha in their group. He had a duty to them all to keep them safe and cared for. It didn’t matter if it was on the battlefield or not.

     "Captain,“ Bruce hissed, "What should we do?”

A good question. A very valid question. “Go to his room and get all of his bedding, then meet me at my quarters.”

Bruce took off without any further prompting, leaving him with a wreck of an omega to somehow get back to his own room. Bulge shifted Manabu so he could cradle him bridal style, and tried not to think about how sore he was going to be afterwords. Manabu may have been shorter and slighter than his father and brother, and done growing at just past twenty, but he was heavier than he looked. Especially when he became dead weight in Bulge’s arms. The only thing working in his favor was the death grip Manabu had on his shoulders.

     "I’ve got you.“ He said again, knowing that repetition of reassurances was one of the few comforts he could give at this point. Manabu stayed deathly quiet.

His captain’s quarters would be the safest place for the boy at the moment. It had extra security measures, was further away from the general dorming area, and most importantly, had space to breath. Not that the accommodations for regular officers were lacking, but there was extra square footage came along with his captain’s bars. It wasn’t a luxury Bulge often got to take advantage of, considering how often they were off world or completing missions, but he was glad for it. Now they just had to get there.

More than one head turned when he stormed down the halls with Manabu in hand, but none of them had enough of a death wish to stop him or ask questions. There was no use trying to hide what was happening; anyone with eyes and a nose could tell. Besides, sudden heats or failed suppressants were bound to happen from time to time, and only the most petty or immature would hold it against someone. He made a mental note to ask Yuki later if she could find a different medication, or some other resources for Manabu. Certainly her expansive medical database would have something that could help. In the meantime, Bulge was resigned to his fate as a stand-in pack leader.

     "What were you doing outside of your room?” He wondered aloud, not expecting the silent and shivering Manabu to answer. But after a sharp intake of breath, he did;

     "I just wanted a drink,“ Manabu mumbled into his neck, "I’m sorry.”

     "It’s alright,“ he tried to think of something, anything other than the hot body pressed against him, "I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

A heady, impulsive promise, but it felt right. It felt like proverbial stars aligning and Fate taking the helm, and he let it happen. Consequences could wait until a later date, maybe when they were all more clear headed and fully aware of the repercussions. But not right now. Manabu let out a soft sound and buried his head into his shoulder.

Finally they made it to his door, where an agitated Bruce carrying sheets and blankets was already waiting. He knew the code to get in, Bulge had shared it with him years ago, but it seemed he still waited for permission even after all this time. A nice gesture, but unnecessary given their history. (Yet, this was also not the only hangup Bruce had, his relationship with relationships being rocky at best. Bulge had been there for most of them and knew it was hard to come out unscathed, and not to mention his own lovers lost.) Still Bruce was the one to punch the password in, and the first to enter, heading straight for the bed as he’d already figured out the plan. Bulge’s bed wasn’t terribly large, but it still dwarfed the tiny bunks given to new recruits, and therefore was perfect for nesting. Even if Manabu didn’t understand it completely, having a place to nest would undoubtedly help. He tried not to think about the implications of having an omega in heat in his bed, even if their options were limited. Destiny Station might have protected heat rooms, he wasn’t sure, and in any case he felt better by having Manabu where he could keep an eye on him.

     “You have to let go, Manabu,” Bulge sighed to him when he continued to cling tight, “You’ll be safe here.”

     “Don’t want to,” Manabu murmured back, “You smell nice.”

     “Nope, that’s it,” Bruce said through gritted teeth, beginning to physically pry Manabu off of him, “You’re not allowed to make more of a fool of yourself than you already have.”

Manabu made little unhappy sounds, but they got him onto the bed. His eyes were glassy, pupils blown wide, sweat sticking stray hairs to his face. Bulge had heard that the worst part of being an omega was the loss of autonomy— of becoming a slave to whim and instinct, left in a state that they were often taken advantage of in days of old. (And, as much he loathed to admit it, it still happened on backwater planets where society liked to backslid into unconscionable habits.) The amount of power he could wield over Manabu right then was ridiculous; and worst of all Manabu would let him do whatever he wanted. Whatever either of them wanted, actually.

Which was why Bulge was focusing on getting Manabu’s boots and coat off before hiding him under the sheets. Then he was going to take a bath in a tub of ice and try not to die.

     "Would you hold still?“ Bruce snapped at the younger officer, who was being very wiggly, trying to snuggle up to Bruce while he peeled off his SDF jacket, "Are they always like this?”

     "Yes,“ Bulge replied a little too quickly, remembering Catalina and the one time his off duty night happened to coincidence with her heat cycle, "Don’t be too hard on him. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing.”

At least the abject terror that had engulfed Manabu before was gone. Small things to be thankful for in a trying time. Fear was now being overtaken by desire, filling the room with heavy want, and he needed to get out before he went mad from it all.

     "I’m going to go get Yuki.“

     "But I’m fine now!” Manabu protested, and Bruce threw a blanket over him so that his next round of complaints were muffled.

     "Stay with him, I’ll be right back.“

Bruce sighed as he pushed more bedding on top of Manabu. "Yes, sir.”

[joshuabradleyn]

From Couch to 5K: 5 Crucial Things to Know Before You Start Training

Running.

Some people live for it, chasing faster times and that unbelievable “runners high.”

Others despise it with the passion of a thousand suns (which is an excessive number of suns).

As somebody who used to run cross country in high school, and will probably never run a mile again, I have strong opinions on this stuff.

Today we’re going to cover it all: running your first 5K, if you even SHOULD run a 5k, and all the details of the famous Couch to 5K program.

After all, Couch to 5K is the most popular 5K running program since “run for your life” invented by a human like 150,000 years ago.

“Don’t run for your life” was equally popular, it just…didn’t last long.

Quiet, I know. This was a way better gif than a human being chased by a wild animal.

Plus, dinosaurs.

Anyways!

You’re here because you wanna know if you can build up to running a 5k without losing your breath or having to stop.

So here’s what we’re gonna cover in this article:

What is it about Couch to 5K that makes it so dang popular?

Does Couch to 5K actually work?

Will I lose weight training for a 5K?

How do I not hurt myself running a 5K?

What if I own a futon, but like, it’s a nice one. Can I still do Couch to 5k?

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for longer than this article, you know my thoughts about running for weight loss (spoiler: I think it’s an awful way to lose weight).

HOWEVER…

I also think running can be a fantastic activity (for the right person if they do it the right way)!

So, are you that person?

And what is the right way?

Keep reading and I’ll tell ya.

In exchange, I can promise hilarious gifs.

And maybe also Michael Jackson.

What is Couch to 5K? Why is it so popular?

“Couch to 5kK” is a free program that takes people from their couch to running a 5K race in 9 weeks.

5K is short for 5 kilometers, or 5,000 meters or 3.1 miles.

Depending on which “couch to 5K” program you pick, it might be 6 weeks, or 12 weeks, or 9 weeks. Although this running program was invented by Josh Clark of CoolRunning WAY back in the day, it has since been co-opted and copied by every running blog out there, so we’re going to be referring to a generic “Couch to 5K” program when we talk about it.

Here it is in a nutshell: Couch to 5K utilizes an uber popular concept called interval training – moving at different speeds throughout a running session – and lays out exactly what to do every day for 6-12 weeks after starting.

By varying your pacing, your body is forced to adapt to different speeds, your heart and lungs have to adapt to various levels of strenuous activity (and get stronger/healthier as a result), and you actually burn more calories and get better prepared for a race then compared to just training at a constant speed.

In other words, interval training rocks and should be used by anybody who wants to get better at running.

Over the weeks, Couch to 5K slowly ramps up the amount of time you spend running and cuts back the time you spend walking until you’re at the point where you can actually run a 5K without stopping.

“STEVE, I’M INTRIGUED. WHY IS COUCH TO 5K SO DANG POPULAR?”

#1) It’s simple and clear. Print out a PDF or download an iphone app and for the next 9 weeks you simply do what it tells you: Today, do this. Tomorrow, do that. Repeat.

We are all busy. Most of us lead hectic lives. And programs that tell us EXACTLY what to do allow us to follow instructions without needing to figure it out ourselves.

Not that us nerds overanalyze things to the point of giving ourselves anxiety attacks…

#2) Most people think running = weight loss. If you’re brand new to health and fitness, and you’re trying to lose weight, you’re most likely overwhelmed at what you should start with and how you should train.

Are you gonna go sign up for a gym membership, hire a trainer, and start doing squats and deadlifts?

As much as I would WISH that was the answer (it’s probably the fastest path to changing one’s physique), it’s probably a bridge too far for most folks. So a majority of newbies equate running with weight loss (which MIGHT be true, but MIGHT not, I’ll explain soon), and decide to start with a jog around the block.

#3) Couch to 5K is not overwhelming. It’s a free program (or inexpensive app), and it’s very approachable. Programs like P90X and Insanity are designed to appeal to people that consider themselves hardcore (whatever the hell that means). Couch to 5K appeals to people who are overwhelmed at the idea of doing P90X or Insanity or mustering up the courage to go to Crossfit.

Couch to 5K makes you think “maybe I can actually do this…” which is the most important part of any fitness journey: starting.

#4) Everybody wants to “have run a 5K.” If you’re new to health and fitness and working on setting a good obtainable goal, “run a 5K this year” is a great place to start.

It’s a short enough distance that with some training you can pull it off, even if you have to walk some or all of it.

There are 5Ks practically every weekend, many of which raise money for charity or are themed in a fun way,

It’s an amazing activity to do as a group with friends.

Humans are wired for achievements, progress, and gratification – 5Ks are perfectly designed for that.

So in completing Couch to 5K, you train and get to see yourself progress weekly, you get to finish a race and feel a  sense of accomplishment, and you go home with a medal you can hang on your wall reminding you of the proud moment.

Plus, it might get you in shape!

Maybe.

Does Couch to 5K actually work? Will I lose weight Doing Couch to 5K?

“Steve that’s all fine and good. But what do you REALLY think about running 5Ks and Couch to 5K?”

Okay you got me. I got thoughts. I also got jokes (they’re bad).

RANT INCOMING!

Will the Couch to 5K program help you run a 5k? YES! If you actually stick with it for the entirety of the training program.

Will the Couch to 5K program help you lose weight? MAYBE.

Is Couch to 5K a program that will get you healthy permanently? MAYBE.

Will Couch to 5K make me sexy and look damn good in a bathing suit? MAYBE, but probably not.

Here’s the truth about Couch to 5k: It’s the same truth with popular programs like P90X or Insanity or any other structured workout program:

It totally works and will help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, AND

You fix your diet.

It totally doesn’t work and won’t help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, BUT

You don’t fix your diet.

As sexy as it is to think that just going for a run will help you lose weight, the data doesn’t back it up. In fact, as Time Magazine rightly pointed out years ago and got yelled at for telling the truth, exercise alone won’t make you lose weight.

I believe that to be especially true when exercise is only steady-speed cardio.

In fact, many people gain weight after starting an exercise routine and get completely demoralized.

What gives?

As we say here at Nerd Fitness, you can’t outrun your fork, and nutrition is 90% of the battle.

If you go for a mile run and then stuff your face with extra calories “because you earned it,” you’re going to gain weight.

It’s not because you have a slow metabolism, I promise. It’s because you’re consuming too many calories.

If this were a movie, nutrition would be Tom Cruise in Mission:Impossible and exercise is that funny sidekick who helps Tom. Let’s be real here, Tom is doing all of the heavy lifting to make that movie what it is.

Couch to 5K helps people run a 5K. That’s it. It isn’t designed to help you lose weight or build a body you’re proud of. It’s also a temporary program that lasts a certain number of weeks until you run your 5k.

For Couch to 5K to be successful for you long term, and for it to help you lose weight, it needs to be the catalyst that causes you to build a consistent long term habit of exercise and changes how you think about food.

Remember: you never get to be “done”, so you need to enjoy the journey and look forward to exercising daily. You also need to train the right way to build the type of body you want! And eat the right way.

That’s priority numero uno.

I know nutrition is a really challenging, complex, controversial topic (Keto? Paleo? Ah!), which is why we make it stupidly simple for smart, good looking, modest people like yourself. In addition to our online coaching program that guides you on making healthier food choices, we also created a free 10-level NF Diet blueprint you can hang on your fridge next to your Couch to 5K pdf.

Print it out, hang it on your fridge, and follow the instructions to level up every 2 weeks! You can get yours free when you sign up in the box below:

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

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Now that we have the “will I lose weight?” stuff out of the way, I have two BIG questions to ask you:

Do you like running?

Are you healthy enough to run?

Do you even like running?

Bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman said it best: “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight.”

In other words: “Everybody wants to be in shape, and look great, but nobody wants to put the work in to actually GET in shape and look great.”

And yup, getting in shape is tough; if it were easy we’d all look like Captain America and Wonder Woman.

Instead, 70% of America is overweight and 30+% are obese. Crap.

Which brings me back to the most crucial question of this entire 5K process:

Do you even LIKE running?

The world is split into three groups:

People that like running and want to run.

People that don’t like running but eventually learn to love it.

People that don’t like running and will never like running.

Here’s that Ronnie Coleman quote, slightly adapted: “Everybody wants to have run a 5k, but many people don’t actually enjoy running.”

Running a 5k is a great achievement and a worthwhile fun goal, but it’s only one way of thousands to “get in shape.”

Admittedly, I’m firmly in Group #3: I don’t like running.

When I run I feel like Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec:

I ran cross country in high school and started training the following summer for the upcoming season…only to suddenly realize, “Wait a second, I dread doing this every single morning. Why am I doing this to myself? I quit!”

I then quit running, decided to try weight training and gymnastics, fell in love with picking up heavy shit and doing cool bodyweight moves, and those choices led me down a path to start Nerd Fitness and that’s why you’re reading this article today!

Some people love that feeling of anguish or pushing beyond the limits. I don’t happen to enjoy feeling like that, so I put my focus on exercise that energizes and makes feel better.

Your mileage may vary, and you might love these feelings. Great!

So before you start Couch to 5K, think of it like a science experiment:

“I hypothesize that following Couch to 5K will help me run a 5K. I also hypothesize I’ll enjoy the process, enjoy how I feel after a run, enjoy running a 5k, and/or enjoy the achievement of having run a 5k.”

And that’s all this is: an experiment to see if running is the type of exercise you want to continue doing consistently for the next few years.

If 2 weeks into Couch to 5K you’re miserable and hate it: fantastic! You just discovered that you hate running and are now free to NEVER RUN EVER AGAIN FOREVER. It doesn’t make you a failure. It means your science experiment produced a result that you can now use to inform future exercise decisions. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you found a type of exercise that doesn’t work for you.

If you discover you LOVE running and how it makes you feel: fantastic! You can now make running part of your regular exercise routine. Combine this with a good nutritional strategy, and you will build yourself a runner’s physique. And you’ve found something you can do for the rest of your life.

If you are running to prove something to yourself, because a friend is doing it, because you’re raising money for charity, or anything else: fantastic! Do Couch to 5K and then decide after if this is the strategy that you enjoy and want to stick with permanently.

If you’re ONLY doing this to lose weight and it’s making you miserable, quit. Don’t run. Ever. Instead, pick exercise you actually enjoy. But not because the exercise is going to help you lose weight – because doing exercise you love is a constant reminder of “I’m making healthier choices, and thus I should probably eat healthier!”

If weight loss above all else is your goal, I’d recommend our Beginner Bodyweight routine you can do at home and combine it with our “beginner’s guide to healthy eating.” I can promise that if you read those strategies and start to implement them in your life, you’ll see results without ever having to set foot on a treadmill.

Phew! Okay, that covers “do you actually LIKE running?”

There’s another massive question you should be asking yourself before you start…

Are you healthy enough to run a 5K?

Just because you WANT to run doesn’t mean you SHOULD necessarily start running just yet.

It could be a fast track to injury, disappointment, and misery!

Those are literally three of my least favorite things. The fourth being brunch. [1]

Back to your health: are you physically ready to run?

If you’re at or close to your goal weight, then starting a running program is a good idea. Read the section below on “How to not get injured doing Couch to 5K” and get started.

If you are obese or very overweight, I think (power)WALKING a 5K is a great goal for the immediate future.

I don’t think running a 5K is going to be a healthy solution to helping you get healthy – in fact, it might cause damage to your joints and ligaments and cause you to backslide a whole bunch.

WHAT I WOULD DO: Focus on healthy eating, building the habit of daily walks, and follow a beginner strength building routine like the Beginner Bodyweight Circuit. This will build you a solid foundation of strength, core strength, and endurance.

Download our free Bodyweight Workout Worksheet when you sign up in the box below:

Grab Your Beginner Bodyweight Routine Worksheet. No Gym Required!

Complete this workout at home, no equipment required

Avoid the common mistakes everybody makes when doing bodyweight exercises

Learn how to finally get your first pull-up

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So here’s why you should focus on strength and nutrition before pounding the pavement with hours of running:

As you begin to drop weight, a lot of the stress on your joints, organs, bones, etc. will start to decrease.

As you strength train, the ligaments that hold your body together will become stronger and more adequately prepared for the rigors of running.

As you refine your running form to minimize resistance and jarring shocks throughout your body, your body will learn to become more efficient.

When you start to approach your goal weight, you can start to introduce increase your speed from power walking to jogging – with correct running technique (see below) – and staying healthy.

“STEVE, I was all excited to run a 5k, and now you have me demoralized. I’m overweight but I still want to run!”

Okay okay okay, fine! I don’t want to keep you from exercising, I want to help you build momentum and make you antifragile.

Obviously, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and if running before your physically ready is what you want to do, go for it!

Just do it safely, please! Read the section below on how to not suck at running!

I would still advise that you focus your efforts on strength training, hiking, long walks on the beach…low impact activities that strengthen rather than deteriorate your body.

But you do you, boo.

How to start the Couch to 5K Program

“Steve..

https://ift.tt/2mJDXzi

[albertcaldwellne]

From Couch to 5K: 5 Crucial Things to Know Before You Start Training

Running.

Some people live for it, chasing faster times and that unbelievable “runners high.”

Others despise it with the passion of a thousand suns (which is an excessive number of suns).

As somebody who used to run cross country in high school, and will probably never run a mile again, I have strong opinions on this stuff.

Today we’re going to cover it all: running your first 5K, if you even SHOULD run a 5k, and all the details of the famous Couch to 5K program.

After all, Couch to 5K is the most popular 5K running program since “run for your life” invented by a human like 150,000 years ago.

“Don’t run for your life” was equally popular, it just…didn’t last long.

Quiet, I know. This was a way better gif than a human being chased by a wild animal.

Plus, dinosaurs.

Anyways!

You’re here because you wanna know if you can build up to running a 5k without losing your breath or having to stop.

So here’s what we’re gonna cover in this article:

What is it about Couch to 5K that makes it so dang popular?

Does Couch to 5K actually work?

Will I lose weight training for a 5K?

How do I not hurt myself running a 5K?

What if I own a futon, but like, it’s a nice one. Can I still do Couch to 5k?

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for longer than this article, you know my thoughts about running for weight loss (spoiler: I think it’s an awful way to lose weight).

HOWEVER…

I also think running can be a fantastic activity (for the right person if they do it the right way)!

So, are you that person?

And what is the right way?

Keep reading and I’ll tell ya.

In exchange, I can promise hilarious gifs.

And maybe also Michael Jackson.

What is Couch to 5K? Why is it so popular?

“Couch to 5kK” is a free program that takes people from their couch to running a 5K race in 9 weeks.

5K is short for 5 kilometers, or 5,000 meters or 3.1 miles.

Depending on which “couch to 5K” program you pick, it might be 6 weeks, or 12 weeks, or 9 weeks. Although this running program was invented by Josh Clark of CoolRunning WAY back in the day, it has since been co-opted and copied by every running blog out there, so we’re going to be referring to a generic “Couch to 5K” program when we talk about it.

Here it is in a nutshell: Couch to 5K utilizes an uber popular concept called interval training – moving at different speeds throughout a running session – and lays out exactly what to do every day for 6-12 weeks after starting.

By varying your pacing, your body is forced to adapt to different speeds, your heart and lungs have to adapt to various levels of strenuous activity (and get stronger/healthier as a result), and you actually burn more calories and get better prepared for a race then compared to just training at a constant speed.

In other words, interval training rocks and should be used by anybody who wants to get better at running.

Over the weeks, Couch to 5K slowly ramps up the amount of time you spend running and cuts back the time you spend walking until you’re at the point where you can actually run a 5K without stopping.

“STEVE, I’M INTRIGUED. WHY IS COUCH TO 5K SO DANG POPULAR?”

#1) It’s simple and clear. Print out a PDF or download an iphone app and for the next 9 weeks you simply do what it tells you: Today, do this. Tomorrow, do that. Repeat.

We are all busy. Most of us lead hectic lives. And programs that tell us EXACTLY what to do allow us to follow instructions without needing to figure it out ourselves.

Not that us nerds overanalyze things to the point of giving ourselves anxiety attacks…

#2) Most people think running = weight loss. If you’re brand new to health and fitness, and you’re trying to lose weight, you’re most likely overwhelmed at what you should start with and how you should train.

Are you gonna go sign up for a gym membership, hire a trainer, and start doing squats and deadlifts?

As much as I would WISH that was the answer (it’s probably the fastest path to changing one’s physique), it’s probably a bridge too far for most folks. So a majority of newbies equate running with weight loss (which MIGHT be true, but MIGHT not, I’ll explain soon), and decide to start with a jog around the block.

#3) Couch to 5K is not overwhelming. It’s a free program (or inexpensive app), and it’s very approachable. Programs like P90X and Insanity are designed to appeal to people that consider themselves hardcore (whatever the hell that means). Couch to 5K appeals to people who are overwhelmed at the idea of doing P90X or Insanity or mustering up the courage to go to Crossfit.

Couch to 5K makes you think “maybe I can actually do this…” which is the most important part of any fitness journey: starting.

#4) Everybody wants to “have run a 5K.” If you’re new to health and fitness and working on setting a good obtainable goal, “run a 5K this year” is a great place to start.

It’s a short enough distance that with some training you can pull it off, even if you have to walk some or all of it.

There are 5Ks practically every weekend, many of which raise money for charity or are themed in a fun way,

It’s an amazing activity to do as a group with friends.

Humans are wired for achievements, progress, and gratification – 5Ks are perfectly designed for that.

So in completing Couch to 5K, you train and get to see yourself progress weekly, you get to finish a race and feel a  sense of accomplishment, and you go home with a medal you can hang on your wall reminding you of the proud moment.

Plus, it might get you in shape!

Maybe.

Does Couch to 5K actually work? Will I lose weight Doing Couch to 5K?

“Steve that’s all fine and good. But what do you REALLY think about running 5Ks and Couch to 5K?”

Okay you got me. I got thoughts. I also got jokes (they’re bad).

RANT INCOMING!

Will the Couch to 5K program help you run a 5k? YES! If you actually stick with it for the entirety of the training program.

Will the Couch to 5K program help you lose weight? MAYBE.

Is Couch to 5K a program that will get you healthy permanently? MAYBE.

Will Couch to 5K make me sexy and look damn good in a bathing suit? MAYBE, but probably not.

Here’s the truth about Couch to 5k: It’s the same truth with popular programs like P90X or Insanity or any other structured workout program:

It totally works and will help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, AND

You fix your diet.

It totally doesn’t work and won’t help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, BUT

You don’t fix your diet.

As sexy as it is to think that just going for a run will help you lose weight, the data doesn’t back it up. In fact, as Time Magazine rightly pointed out years ago and got yelled at for telling the truth, exercise alone won’t make you lose weight.

I believe that to be especially true when exercise is only steady-speed cardio.

In fact, many people gain weight after starting an exercise routine and get completely demoralized.

What gives?

As we say here at Nerd Fitness, you can’t outrun your fork, and nutrition is 90% of the battle.

If you go for a mile run and then stuff your face with extra calories “because you earned it,” you’re going to gain weight.

It’s not because you have a slow metabolism, I promise. It’s because you’re consuming too many calories.

If this were a movie, nutrition would be Tom Cruise in Mission:Impossible and exercise is that funny sidekick who helps Tom. Let’s be real here, Tom is doing all of the heavy lifting to make that movie what it is.

Couch to 5K helps people run a 5K. That’s it. It isn’t designed to help you lose weight or build a body you’re proud of. It’s also a temporary program that lasts a certain number of weeks until you run your 5k.

For Couch to 5K to be successful for you long term, and for it to help you lose weight, it needs to be the catalyst that causes you to build a consistent long term habit of exercise and changes how you think about food.

Remember: you never get to be “done”, so you need to enjoy the journey and look forward to exercising daily. You also need to train the right way to build the type of body you want! And eat the right way.

That’s priority numero uno.

I know nutrition is a really challenging, complex, controversial topic (Keto? Paleo? Ah!), which is why we make it stupidly simple for smart, good looking, modest people like yourself. In addition to our online coaching program that guides you on making healthier food choices, we also created a free 10-level NF Diet blueprint you can hang on your fridge next to your Couch to 5K pdf.

Print it out, hang it on your fridge, and follow the instructions to level up every 2 weeks! You can get yours free when you sign up in the box below:

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Now that we have the “will I lose weight?” stuff out of the way, I have two BIG questions to ask you:

Do you like running?

Are you healthy enough to run?

Do you even like running?

Bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman said it best: “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight.”

In other words: “Everybody wants to be in shape, and look great, but nobody wants to put the work in to actually GET in shape and look great.”

And yup, getting in shape is tough; if it were easy we’d all look like Captain America and Wonder Woman.

Instead, 70% of America is overweight and 30+% are obese. Crap.

Which brings me back to the most crucial question of this entire 5K process:

Do you even LIKE running?

The world is split into three groups:

People that like running and want to run.

People that don’t like running but eventually learn to love it.

People that don’t like running and will never like running.

Here’s that Ronnie Coleman quote, slightly adapted: “Everybody wants to have run a 5k, but many people don’t actually enjoy running.”

Running a 5k is a great achievement and a worthwhile fun goal, but it’s only one way of thousands to “get in shape.”

Admittedly, I’m firmly in Group #3: I don’t like running.

When I run I feel like Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec:

I ran cross country in high school and started training the following summer for the upcoming season…only to suddenly realize, “Wait a second, I dread doing this every single morning. Why am I doing this to myself? I quit!”

I then quit running, decided to try weight training and gymnastics, fell in love with picking up heavy shit and doing cool bodyweight moves, and those choices led me down a path to start Nerd Fitness and that’s why you’re reading this article today!

Some people love that feeling of anguish or pushing beyond the limits. I don’t happen to enjoy feeling like that, so I put my focus on exercise that energizes and makes feel better.

Your mileage may vary, and you might love these feelings. Great!

So before you start Couch to 5K, think of it like a science experiment:

“I hypothesize that following Couch to 5K will help me run a 5K. I also hypothesize I’ll enjoy the process, enjoy how I feel after a run, enjoy running a 5k, and/or enjoy the achievement of having run a 5k.”

And that’s all this is: an experiment to see if running is the type of exercise you want to continue doing consistently for the next few years.

If 2 weeks into Couch to 5K you’re miserable and hate it: fantastic! You just discovered that you hate running and are now free to NEVER RUN EVER AGAIN FOREVER. It doesn’t make you a failure. It means your science experiment produced a result that you can now use to inform future exercise decisions. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you found a type of exercise that doesn’t work for you.

If you discover you LOVE running and how it makes you feel: fantastic! You can now make running part of your regular exercise routine. Combine this with a good nutritional strategy, and you will build yourself a runner’s physique. And you’ve found something you can do for the rest of your life.

If you are running to prove something to yourself, because a friend is doing it, because you’re raising money for charity, or anything else: fantastic! Do Couch to 5K and then decide after if this is the strategy that you enjoy and want to stick with permanently.

If you’re ONLY doing this to lose weight and it’s making you miserable, quit. Don’t run. Ever. Instead, pick exercise you actually enjoy. But not because the exercise is going to help you lose weight – because doing exercise you love is a constant reminder of “I’m making healthier choices, and thus I should probably eat healthier!”

If weight loss above all else is your goal, I’d recommend our Beginner Bodyweight routine you can do at home and combine it with our “beginner’s guide to healthy eating.” I can promise that if you read those strategies and start to implement them in your life, you’ll see results without ever having to set foot on a treadmill.

Phew! Okay, that covers “do you actually LIKE running?”

There’s another massive question you should be asking yourself before you start…

Are you healthy enough to run a 5K?

Just because you WANT to run doesn’t mean you SHOULD necessarily start running just yet.

It could be a fast track to injury, disappointment, and misery!

Those are literally three of my least favorite things. The fourth being brunch. [1]

Back to your health: are you physically ready to run?

If you’re at or close to your goal weight, then starting a running program is a good idea. Read the section below on “How to not get injured doing Couch to 5K” and get started.

If you are obese or very overweight, I think (power)WALKING a 5K is a great goal for the immediate future.

I don’t think running a 5K is going to be a healthy solution to helping you get healthy – in fact, it might cause damage to your joints and ligaments and cause you to backslide a whole bunch.

WHAT I WOULD DO: Focus on healthy eating, building the habit of daily walks, and follow a beginner strength building routine like the Beginner Bodyweight Circuit. This will build you a solid foundation of strength, core strength, and endurance.

Download our free Bodyweight Workout Worksheet when you sign up in the box below:

Grab Your Beginner Bodyweight Routine Worksheet. No Gym Required!

Complete this workout at home, no equipment required

Avoid the common mistakes everybody makes when doing bodyweight exercises

Learn how to finally get your first pull-up

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

So here’s why you should focus on strength and nutrition before pounding the pavement with hours of running:

As you begin to drop weight, a lot of the stress on your joints, organs, bones, etc. will start to decrease.

As you strength train, the ligaments that hold your body together will become stronger and more adequately prepared for the rigors of running.

As you refine your running form to minimize resistance and jarring shocks throughout your body, your body will learn to become more efficient.

When you start to approach your goal weight, you can start to introduce increase your speed from power walking to jogging – with correct running technique (see below) – and staying healthy.

“STEVE, I was all excited to run a 5k, and now you have me demoralized. I’m overweight but I still want to run!”

Okay okay okay, fine! I don’t want to keep you from exercising, I want to help you build momentum and make you antifragile.

Obviously, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and if running before your physically ready is what you want to do, go for it!

Just do it safely, please! Read the section below on how to not suck at running!

I would still advise that you focus your efforts on strength training, hiking, long walks on the beach…low impact activities that strengthen rather than deteriorate your body.

But you do you, boo.

How to start the Couch to 5K Program

“Steve..

https://ift.tt/2mJDXzi

[johnclapperne]

From Couch to 5K: 5 Crucial Things to Know Before You Start Training

Running.

Some people live for it, chasing faster times and that unbelievable “runners high.”

Others despise it with the passion of a thousand suns (which is an excessive number of suns).

As somebody who used to run cross country in high school, and will probably never run a mile again, I have strong opinions on this stuff.

Today we’re going to cover it all: running your first 5K, if you even SHOULD run a 5k, and all the details of the famous Couch to 5K program.

After all, Couch to 5K is the most popular 5K running program since “run for your life” invented by a human like 150,000 years ago.

“Don’t run for your life” was equally popular, it just…didn’t last long.

Quiet, I know. This was a way better gif than a human being chased by a wild animal.

Plus, dinosaurs.

Anyways!

You’re here because you wanna know if you can build up to running a 5k without losing your breath or having to stop.

So here’s what we’re gonna cover in this article:

What is it about Couch to 5K that makes it so dang popular?

Does Couch to 5K actually work?

Will I lose weight training for a 5K?

How do I not hurt myself running a 5K?

What if I own a futon, but like, it’s a nice one. Can I still do Couch to 5k?

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for longer than this article, you know my thoughts about running for weight loss (spoiler: I think it’s an awful way to lose weight).

HOWEVER…

I also think running can be a fantastic activity (for the right person if they do it the right way)!

So, are you that person?

And what is the right way?

Keep reading and I’ll tell ya.

In exchange, I can promise hilarious gifs.

And maybe also Michael Jackson.

What is Couch to 5K? Why is it so popular?

“Couch to 5kK” is a free program that takes people from their couch to running a 5K race in 9 weeks.

5K is short for 5 kilometers, or 5,000 meters or 3.1 miles.

Depending on which “couch to 5K” program you pick, it might be 6 weeks, or 12 weeks, or 9 weeks. Although this running program was invented by Josh Clark of CoolRunning WAY back in the day, it has since been co-opted and copied by every running blog out there, so we’re going to be referring to a generic “Couch to 5K” program when we talk about it.

Here it is in a nutshell: Couch to 5K utilizes an uber popular concept called interval training – moving at different speeds throughout a running session – and lays out exactly what to do every day for 6-12 weeks after starting.

By varying your pacing, your body is forced to adapt to different speeds, your heart and lungs have to adapt to various levels of strenuous activity (and get stronger/healthier as a result), and you actually burn more calories and get better prepared for a race then compared to just training at a constant speed.

In other words, interval training rocks and should be used by anybody who wants to get better at running.

Over the weeks, Couch to 5K slowly ramps up the amount of time you spend running and cuts back the time you spend walking until you’re at the point where you can actually run a 5K without stopping.

“STEVE, I’M INTRIGUED. WHY IS COUCH TO 5K SO DANG POPULAR?”

#1) It’s simple and clear. Print out a PDF or download an iphone app and for the next 9 weeks you simply do what it tells you: Today, do this. Tomorrow, do that. Repeat.

We are all busy. Most of us lead hectic lives. And programs that tell us EXACTLY what to do allow us to follow instructions without needing to figure it out ourselves.

Not that us nerds overanalyze things to the point of giving ourselves anxiety attacks…

#2) Most people think running = weight loss. If you’re brand new to health and fitness, and you’re trying to lose weight, you’re most likely overwhelmed at what you should start with and how you should train.

Are you gonna go sign up for a gym membership, hire a trainer, and start doing squats and deadlifts?

As much as I would WISH that was the answer (it’s probably the fastest path to changing one’s physique), it’s probably a bridge too far for most folks. So a majority of newbies equate running with weight loss (which MIGHT be true, but MIGHT not, I’ll explain soon), and decide to start with a jog around the block.

#3) Couch to 5K is not overwhelming. It’s a free program (or inexpensive app), and it’s very approachable. Programs like P90X and Insanity are designed to appeal to people that consider themselves hardcore (whatever the hell that means). Couch to 5K appeals to people who are overwhelmed at the idea of doing P90X or Insanity or mustering up the courage to go to Crossfit.

Couch to 5K makes you think “maybe I can actually do this…” which is the most important part of any fitness journey: starting.

#4) Everybody wants to “have run a 5K.” If you’re new to health and fitness and working on setting a good obtainable goal, “run a 5K this year” is a great place to start.

It’s a short enough distance that with some training you can pull it off, even if you have to walk some or all of it.

There are 5Ks practically every weekend, many of which raise money for charity or are themed in a fun way,

It’s an amazing activity to do as a group with friends.

Humans are wired for achievements, progress, and gratification – 5Ks are perfectly designed for that.

So in completing Couch to 5K, you train and get to see yourself progress weekly, you get to finish a race and feel a  sense of accomplishment, and you go home with a medal you can hang on your wall reminding you of the proud moment.

Plus, it might get you in shape!

Maybe.

Does Couch to 5K actually work? Will I lose weight Doing Couch to 5K?

“Steve that’s all fine and good. But what do you REALLY think about running 5Ks and Couch to 5K?”

Okay you got me. I got thoughts. I also got jokes (they’re bad).

RANT INCOMING!

Will the Couch to 5K program help you run a 5k? YES! If you actually stick with it for the entirety of the training program.

Will the Couch to 5K program help you lose weight? MAYBE.

Is Couch to 5K a program that will get you healthy permanently? MAYBE.

Will Couch to 5K make me sexy and look damn good in a bathing suit? MAYBE, but probably not.

Here’s the truth about Couch to 5k: It’s the same truth with popular programs like P90X or Insanity or any other structured workout program:

It totally works and will help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, AND

You fix your diet.

It totally doesn’t work and won’t help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, BUT

You don’t fix your diet.

As sexy as it is to think that just going for a run will help you lose weight, the data doesn’t back it up. In fact, as Time Magazine rightly pointed out years ago and got yelled at for telling the truth, exercise alone won’t make you lose weight.

I believe that to be especially true when exercise is only steady-speed cardio.

In fact, many people gain weight after starting an exercise routine and get completely demoralized.

What gives?

As we say here at Nerd Fitness, you can’t outrun your fork, and nutrition is 90% of the battle.

If you go for a mile run and then stuff your face with extra calories “because you earned it,” you’re going to gain weight.

It’s not because you have a slow metabolism, I promise. It’s because you’re consuming too many calories.

If this were a movie, nutrition would be Tom Cruise in Mission:Impossible and exercise is that funny sidekick who helps Tom. Let’s be real here, Tom is doing all of the heavy lifting to make that movie what it is.

Couch to 5K helps people run a 5K. That’s it. It isn’t designed to help you lose weight or build a body you’re proud of. It’s also a temporary program that lasts a certain number of weeks until you run your 5k.

For Couch to 5K to be successful for you long term, and for it to help you lose weight, it needs to be the catalyst that causes you to build a consistent long term habit of exercise and changes how you think about food.

Remember: you never get to be “done”, so you need to enjoy the journey and look forward to exercising daily. You also need to train the right way to build the type of body you want! And eat the right way.

That’s priority numero uno.

I know nutrition is a really challenging, complex, controversial topic (Keto? Paleo? Ah!), which is why we make it stupidly simple for smart, good looking, modest people like yourself. In addition to our online coaching program that guides you on making healthier food choices, we also created a free 10-level NF Diet blueprint you can hang on your fridge next to your Couch to 5K pdf.

Print it out, hang it on your fridge, and follow the instructions to level up every 2 weeks! You can get yours free when you sign up in the box below:

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Now that we have the “will I lose weight?” stuff out of the way, I have two BIG questions to ask you:

Do you like running?

Are you healthy enough to run?

Do you even like running?

Bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman said it best: “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight.”

In other words: “Everybody wants to be in shape, and look great, but nobody wants to put the work in to actually GET in shape and look great.”

And yup, getting in shape is tough; if it were easy we’d all look like Captain America and Wonder Woman.

Instead, 70% of America is overweight and 30+% are obese. Crap.

Which brings me back to the most crucial question of this entire 5K process:

Do you even LIKE running?

The world is split into three groups:

People that like running and want to run.

People that don’t like running but eventually learn to love it.

People that don’t like running and will never like running.

Here’s that Ronnie Coleman quote, slightly adapted: “Everybody wants to have run a 5k, but many people don’t actually enjoy running.”

Running a 5k is a great achievement and a worthwhile fun goal, but it’s only one way of thousands to “get in shape.”

Admittedly, I’m firmly in Group #3: I don’t like running.

When I run I feel like Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec:

I ran cross country in high school and started training the following summer for the upcoming season…only to suddenly realize, “Wait a second, I dread doing this every single morning. Why am I doing this to myself? I quit!”

I then quit running, decided to try weight training and gymnastics, fell in love with picking up heavy shit and doing cool bodyweight moves, and those choices led me down a path to start Nerd Fitness and that’s why you’re reading this article today!

Some people love that feeling of anguish or pushing beyond the limits. I don’t happen to enjoy feeling like that, so I put my focus on exercise that energizes and makes feel better.

Your mileage may vary, and you might love these feelings. Great!

So before you start Couch to 5K, think of it like a science experiment:

“I hypothesize that following Couch to 5K will help me run a 5K. I also hypothesize I’ll enjoy the process, enjoy how I feel after a run, enjoy running a 5k, and/or enjoy the achievement of having run a 5k.”

And that’s all this is: an experiment to see if running is the type of exercise you want to continue doing consistently for the next few years.

If 2 weeks into Couch to 5K you’re miserable and hate it: fantastic! You just discovered that you hate running and are now free to NEVER RUN EVER AGAIN FOREVER. It doesn’t make you a failure. It means your science experiment produced a result that you can now use to inform future exercise decisions. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you found a type of exercise that doesn’t work for you.

If you discover you LOVE running and how it makes you feel: fantastic! You can now make running part of your regular exercise routine. Combine this with a good nutritional strategy, and you will build yourself a runner’s physique. And you’ve found something you can do for the rest of your life.

If you are running to prove something to yourself, because a friend is doing it, because you’re raising money for charity, or anything else: fantastic! Do Couch to 5K and then decide after if this is the strategy that you enjoy and want to stick with permanently.

If you’re ONLY doing this to lose weight and it’s making you miserable, quit. Don’t run. Ever. Instead, pick exercise you actually enjoy. But not because the exercise is going to help you lose weight – because doing exercise you love is a constant reminder of “I’m making healthier choices, and thus I should probably eat healthier!”

If weight loss above all else is your goal, I’d recommend our Beginner Bodyweight routine you can do at home and combine it with our “beginner’s guide to healthy eating.” I can promise that if you read those strategies and start to implement them in your life, you’ll see results without ever having to set foot on a treadmill.

Phew! Okay, that covers “do you actually LIKE running?”

There’s another massive question you should be asking yourself before you start…

Are you healthy enough to run a 5K?

Just because you WANT to run doesn’t mean you SHOULD necessarily start running just yet.

It could be a fast track to injury, disappointment, and misery!

Those are literally three of my least favorite things. The fourth being brunch. [1]

Back to your health: are you physically ready to run?

If you’re at or close to your goal weight, then starting a running program is a good idea. Read the section below on “How to not get injured doing Couch to 5K” and get started.

If you are obese or very overweight, I think (power)WALKING a 5K is a great goal for the immediate future.

I don’t think running a 5K is going to be a healthy solution to helping you get healthy – in fact, it might cause damage to your joints and ligaments and cause you to backslide a whole bunch.

WHAT I WOULD DO: Focus on healthy eating, building the habit of daily walks, and follow a beginner strength building routine like the Beginner Bodyweight Circuit. This will build you a solid foundation of strength, core strength, and endurance.

Download our free Bodyweight Workout Worksheet when you sign up in the box below:

Grab Your Beginner Bodyweight Routine Worksheet. No Gym Required!

Complete this workout at home, no equipment required

Avoid the common mistakes everybody makes when doing bodyweight exercises

Learn how to finally get your first pull-up

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

So here’s why you should focus on strength and nutrition before pounding the pavement with hours of running:

As you begin to drop weight, a lot of the stress on your joints, organs, bones, etc. will start to decrease.

As you strength train, the ligaments that hold your body together will become stronger and more adequately prepared for the rigors of running.

As you refine your running form to minimize resistance and jarring shocks throughout your body, your body will learn to become more efficient.

When you start to approach your goal weight, you can start to introduce increase your speed from power walking to jogging – with correct running technique (see below) – and staying healthy.

“STEVE, I was all excited to run a 5k, and now you have me demoralized. I’m overweight but I still want to run!”

Okay okay okay, fine! I don’t want to keep you from exercising, I want to help you build momentum and make you antifragile.

Obviously, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and if running before your physically ready is what you want to do, go for it!

Just do it safely, please! Read the section below on how to not suck at running!

I would still advise that you focus your efforts on strength training, hiking, long walks on the beach…low impact activities that strengthen rather than deteriorate your body.

But you do you, boo.

How to start the Couch to 5K Program

“Steve..

https://ift.tt/2mJDXzi

[ruthellisneda]

From Couch to 5K: 5 Crucial Things to Know Before You Start Training

Running.

Some people live for it, chasing faster times and that unbelievable “runners high.”

Others despise it with the passion of a thousand suns (which is an excessive number of suns).

As somebody who used to run cross country in high school, and will probably never run a mile again, I have strong opinions on this stuff.

Today we’re going to cover it all: running your first 5K, if you even SHOULD run a 5k, and all the details of the famous Couch to 5K program.

After all, Couch to 5K is the most popular 5K running program since “run for your life” invented by a human like 150,000 years ago.

“Don’t run for your life” was equally popular, it just…didn’t last long.

Quiet, I know. This was a way better gif than a human being chased by a wild animal.

Plus, dinosaurs.

Anyways!

You’re here because you wanna know if you can build up to running a 5k without losing your breath or having to stop.

So here’s what we’re gonna cover in this article:

What is it about Couch to 5K that makes it so dang popular?

Does Couch to 5K actually work?

Will I lose weight training for a 5K?

How do I not hurt myself running a 5K?

What if I own a futon, but like, it’s a nice one. Can I still do Couch to 5k?

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for longer than this article, you know my thoughts about running for weight loss (spoiler: I think it’s an awful way to lose weight).

HOWEVER…

I also think running can be a fantastic activity (for the right person if they do it the right way)!

So, are you that person?

And what is the right way?

Keep reading and I’ll tell ya.

In exchange, I can promise hilarious gifs.

And maybe also Michael Jackson.

What is Couch to 5K? Why is it so popular?

“Couch to 5kK” is a free program that takes people from their couch to running a 5K race in 9 weeks.

5K is short for 5 kilometers, or 5,000 meters or 3.1 miles.

Depending on which “couch to 5K” program you pick, it might be 6 weeks, or 12 weeks, or 9 weeks. Although this running program was invented by Josh Clark of CoolRunning WAY back in the day, it has since been co-opted and copied by every running blog out there, so we’re going to be referring to a generic “Couch to 5K” program when we talk about it.

Here it is in a nutshell: Couch to 5K utilizes an uber popular concept called interval training – moving at different speeds throughout a running session – and lays out exactly what to do every day for 6-12 weeks after starting.

By varying your pacing, your body is forced to adapt to different speeds, your heart and lungs have to adapt to various levels of strenuous activity (and get stronger/healthier as a result), and you actually burn more calories and get better prepared for a race then compared to just training at a constant speed.

In other words, interval training rocks and should be used by anybody who wants to get better at running.

Over the weeks, Couch to 5K slowly ramps up the amount of time you spend running and cuts back the time you spend walking until you’re at the point where you can actually run a 5K without stopping.

“STEVE, I’M INTRIGUED. WHY IS COUCH TO 5K SO DANG POPULAR?”

#1) It’s simple and clear. Print out a PDF or download an iphone app and for the next 9 weeks you simply do what it tells you: Today, do this. Tomorrow, do that. Repeat.

We are all busy. Most of us lead hectic lives. And programs that tell us EXACTLY what to do allow us to follow instructions without needing to figure it out ourselves.

Not that us nerds overanalyze things to the point of giving ourselves anxiety attacks…

#2) Most people think running = weight loss. If you’re brand new to health and fitness, and you’re trying to lose weight, you’re most likely overwhelmed at what you should start with and how you should train.

Are you gonna go sign up for a gym membership, hire a trainer, and start doing squats and deadlifts?

As much as I would WISH that was the answer (it’s probably the fastest path to changing one’s physique), it’s probably a bridge too far for most folks. So a majority of newbies equate running with weight loss (which MIGHT be true, but MIGHT not, I’ll explain soon), and decide to start with a jog around the block.

#3) Couch to 5K is not overwhelming. It’s a free program (or inexpensive app), and it’s very approachable. Programs like P90X and Insanity are designed to appeal to people that consider themselves hardcore (whatever the hell that means). Couch to 5K appeals to people who are overwhelmed at the idea of doing P90X or Insanity or mustering up the courage to go to Crossfit.

Couch to 5K makes you think “maybe I can actually do this…” which is the most important part of any fitness journey: starting.

#4) Everybody wants to “have run a 5K.” If you’re new to health and fitness and working on setting a good obtainable goal, “run a 5K this year” is a great place to start.

It’s a short enough distance that with some training you can pull it off, even if you have to walk some or all of it.

There are 5Ks practically every weekend, many of which raise money for charity or are themed in a fun way,

It’s an amazing activity to do as a group with friends.

Humans are wired for achievements, progress, and gratification – 5Ks are perfectly designed for that.

So in completing Couch to 5K, you train and get to see yourself progress weekly, you get to finish a race and feel a  sense of accomplishment, and you go home with a medal you can hang on your wall reminding you of the proud moment.

Plus, it might get you in shape!

Maybe.

Does Couch to 5K actually work? Will I lose weight Doing Couch to 5K?

“Steve that’s all fine and good. But what do you REALLY think about running 5Ks and Couch to 5K?”

Okay you got me. I got thoughts. I also got jokes (they’re bad).

RANT INCOMING!

Will the Couch to 5K program help you run a 5k? YES! If you actually stick with it for the entirety of the training program.

Will the Couch to 5K program help you lose weight? MAYBE.

Is Couch to 5K a program that will get you healthy permanently? MAYBE.

Will Couch to 5K make me sexy and look damn good in a bathing suit? MAYBE, but probably not.

Here’s the truth about Couch to 5k: It’s the same truth with popular programs like P90X or Insanity or any other structured workout program:

It totally works and will help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, AND

You fix your diet.

It totally doesn’t work and won’t help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, BUT

You don’t fix your diet.

As sexy as it is to think that just going for a run will help you lose weight, the data doesn’t back it up. In fact, as Time Magazine rightly pointed out years ago and got yelled at for telling the truth, exercise alone won’t make you lose weight.

I believe that to be especially true when exercise is only steady-speed cardio.

In fact, many people gain weight after starting an exercise routine and get completely demoralized.

What gives?

As we say here at Nerd Fitness, you can’t outrun your fork, and nutrition is 90% of the battle.

If you go for a mile run and then stuff your face with extra calories “because you earned it,” you’re going to gain weight.

It’s not because you have a slow metabolism, I promise. It’s because you’re consuming too many calories.

If this were a movie, nutrition would be Tom Cruise in Mission:Impossible and exercise is that funny sidekick who helps Tom. Let’s be real here, Tom is doing all of the heavy lifting to make that movie what it is.

Couch to 5K helps people run a 5K. That’s it. It isn’t designed to help you lose weight or build a body you’re proud of. It’s also a temporary program that lasts a certain number of weeks until you run your 5k.

For Couch to 5K to be successful for you long term, and for it to help you lose weight, it needs to be the catalyst that causes you to build a consistent long term habit of exercise and changes how you think about food.

Remember: you never get to be “done”, so you need to enjoy the journey and look forward to exercising daily. You also need to train the right way to build the type of body you want! And eat the right way.

That’s priority numero uno.

I know nutrition is a really challenging, complex, controversial topic (Keto? Paleo? Ah!), which is why we make it stupidly simple for smart, good looking, modest people like yourself. In addition to our online coaching program that guides you on making healthier food choices, we also created a free 10-level NF Diet blueprint you can hang on your fridge next to your Couch to 5K pdf.

Print it out, hang it on your fridge, and follow the instructions to level up every 2 weeks! You can get yours free when you sign up in the box below:

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Now that we have the “will I lose weight?” stuff out of the way, I have two BIG questions to ask you:

Do you like running?

Are you healthy enough to run?

Do you even like running?

Bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman said it best: “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight.”

In other words: “Everybody wants to be in shape, and look great, but nobody wants to put the work in to actually GET in shape and look great.”

And yup, getting in shape is tough; if it were easy we’d all look like Captain America and Wonder Woman.

Instead, 70% of America is overweight and 30+% are obese. Crap.

Which brings me back to the most crucial question of this entire 5K process:

Do you even LIKE running?

The world is split into three groups:

People that like running and want to run.

People that don’t like running but eventually learn to love it.

People that don’t like running and will never like running.

Here’s that Ronnie Coleman quote, slightly adapted: “Everybody wants to have run a 5k, but many people don’t actually enjoy running.”

Running a 5k is a great achievement and a worthwhile fun goal, but it’s only one way of thousands to “get in shape.”

Admittedly, I’m firmly in Group #3: I don’t like running.

When I run I feel like Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec:

I ran cross country in high school and started training the following summer for the upcoming season…only to suddenly realize, “Wait a second, I dread doing this every single morning. Why am I doing this to myself? I quit!”

I then quit running, decided to try weight training and gymnastics, fell in love with picking up heavy shit and doing cool bodyweight moves, and those choices led me down a path to start Nerd Fitness and that’s why you’re reading this article today!

Some people love that feeling of anguish or pushing beyond the limits. I don’t happen to enjoy feeling like that, so I put my focus on exercise that energizes and makes feel better.

Your mileage may vary, and you might love these feelings. Great!

So before you start Couch to 5K, think of it like a science experiment:

“I hypothesize that following Couch to 5K will help me run a 5K. I also hypothesize I’ll enjoy the process, enjoy how I feel after a run, enjoy running a 5k, and/or enjoy the achievement of having run a 5k.”

And that’s all this is: an experiment to see if running is the type of exercise you want to continue doing consistently for the next few years.

If 2 weeks into Couch to 5K you’re miserable and hate it: fantastic! You just discovered that you hate running and are now free to NEVER RUN EVER AGAIN FOREVER. It doesn’t make you a failure. It means your science experiment produced a result that you can now use to inform future exercise decisions. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you found a type of exercise that doesn’t work for you.

If you discover you LOVE running and how it makes you feel: fantastic! You can now make running part of your regular exercise routine. Combine this with a good nutritional strategy, and you will build yourself a runner’s physique. And you’ve found something you can do for the rest of your life.

If you are running to prove something to yourself, because a friend is doing it, because you’re raising money for charity, or anything else: fantastic! Do Couch to 5K and then decide after if this is the strategy that you enjoy and want to stick with permanently.

If you’re ONLY doing this to lose weight and it’s making you miserable, quit. Don’t run. Ever. Instead, pick exercise you actually enjoy. But not because the exercise is going to help you lose weight – because doing exercise you love is a constant reminder of “I’m making healthier choices, and thus I should probably eat healthier!”

If weight loss above all else is your goal, I’d recommend our Beginner Bodyweight routine you can do at home and combine it with our “beginner’s guide to healthy eating.” I can promise that if you read those strategies and start to implement them in your life, you’ll see results without ever having to set foot on a treadmill.

Phew! Okay, that covers “do you actually LIKE running?”

There’s another massive question you should be asking yourself before you start…

Are you healthy enough to run a 5K?

Just because you WANT to run doesn’t mean you SHOULD necessarily start running just yet.

It could be a fast track to injury, disappointment, and misery!

Those are literally three of my least favorite things. The fourth being brunch. [1]

Back to your health: are you physically ready to run?

If you’re at or close to your goal weight, then starting a running program is a good idea. Read the section below on “How to not get injured doing Couch to 5K” and get started.

If you are obese or very overweight, I think (power)WALKING a 5K is a great goal for the immediate future.

I don’t think running a 5K is going to be a healthy solution to helping you get healthy – in fact, it might cause damage to your joints and ligaments and cause you to backslide a whole bunch.

WHAT I WOULD DO: Focus on healthy eating, building the habit of daily walks, and follow a beginner strength building routine like the Beginner Bodyweight Circuit. This will build you a solid foundation of strength, core strength, and endurance.

Download our free Bodyweight Workout Worksheet when you sign up in the box below:

Grab Your Beginner Bodyweight Routine Worksheet. No Gym Required!

Complete this workout at home, no equipment required

Avoid the common mistakes everybody makes when doing bodyweight exercises

Learn how to finally get your first pull-up

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

So here’s why you should focus on strength and nutrition before pounding the pavement with hours of running:

As you begin to drop weight, a lot of the stress on your joints, organs, bones, etc. will start to decrease.

As you strength train, the ligaments that hold your body together will become stronger and more adequately prepared for the rigors of running.

As you refine your running form to minimize resistance and jarring shocks throughout your body, your body will learn to become more efficient.

When you start to approach your goal weight, you can start to introduce increase your speed from power walking to jogging – with correct running technique (see below) – and staying healthy.

“STEVE, I was all excited to run a 5k, and now you have me demoralized. I’m overweight but I still want to run!”

Okay okay okay, fine! I don’t want to keep you from exercising, I want to help you build momentum and make you antifragile.

Obviously, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and if running before your physically ready is what you want to do, go for it!

Just do it safely, please! Read the section below on how to not suck at running!

I would still advise that you focus your efforts on strength training, hiking, long walks on the beach…low impact activities that strengthen rather than deteriorate your body.

But you do you, boo.

How to start the Couch to 5K Program

“Steve..

https://ift.tt/2mJDXzi

[neilmillerne]

From Couch to 5K: 5 Crucial Things to Know Before You Start Training

Running.

Some people live for it, chasing faster times and that unbelievable “runners high.”

Others despise it with the passion of a thousand suns (which is an excessive number of suns).

As somebody who used to run cross country in high school, and will probably never run a mile again, I have strong opinions on this stuff.

Today we’re going to cover it all: running your first 5K, if you even SHOULD run a 5k, and all the details of the famous Couch to 5K program.

After all, Couch to 5K is the most popular 5K running program since “run for your life” invented by a human like 150,000 years ago.

“Don’t run for your life” was equally popular, it just…didn’t last long.

Quiet, I know. This was a way better gif than a human being chased by a wild animal.

Plus, dinosaurs.

Anyways!

You’re here because you wanna know if you can build up to running a 5k without losing your breath or having to stop.

So here’s what we’re gonna cover in this article:

What is it about Couch to 5K that makes it so dang popular?

Does Couch to 5K actually work?

Will I lose weight training for a 5K?

How do I not hurt myself running a 5K?

What if I own a futon, but like, it’s a nice one. Can I still do Couch to 5k?

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for longer than this article, you know my thoughts about running for weight loss (spoiler: I think it’s an awful way to lose weight).

HOWEVER…

I also think running can be a fantastic activity (for the right person if they do it the right way)!

So, are you that person?

And what is the right way?

Keep reading and I’ll tell ya.

In exchange, I can promise hilarious gifs.

And maybe also Michael Jackson.

What is Couch to 5K? Why is it so popular?

“Couch to 5kK” is a free program that takes people from their couch to running a 5K race in 9 weeks.

5K is short for 5 kilometers, or 5,000 meters or 3.1 miles.

Depending on which “couch to 5K” program you pick, it might be 6 weeks, or 12 weeks, or 9 weeks. Although this running program was invented by Josh Clark of CoolRunning WAY back in the day, it has since been co-opted and copied by every running blog out there, so we’re going to be referring to a generic “Couch to 5K” program when we talk about it.

Here it is in a nutshell: Couch to 5K utilizes an uber popular concept called interval training – moving at different speeds throughout a running session – and lays out exactly what to do every day for 6-12 weeks after starting.

By varying your pacing, your body is forced to adapt to different speeds, your heart and lungs have to adapt to various levels of strenuous activity (and get stronger/healthier as a result), and you actually burn more calories and get better prepared for a race then compared to just training at a constant speed.

In other words, interval training rocks and should be used by anybody who wants to get better at running.

Over the weeks, Couch to 5K slowly ramps up the amount of time you spend running and cuts back the time you spend walking until you’re at the point where you can actually run a 5K without stopping.

“STEVE, I’M INTRIGUED. WHY IS COUCH TO 5K SO DANG POPULAR?”

#1) It’s simple and clear. Print out a PDF or download an iphone app and for the next 9 weeks you simply do what it tells you: Today, do this. Tomorrow, do that. Repeat.

We are all busy. Most of us lead hectic lives. And programs that tell us EXACTLY what to do allow us to follow instructions without needing to figure it out ourselves.

Not that us nerds overanalyze things to the point of giving ourselves anxiety attacks…

#2) Most people think running = weight loss. If you’re brand new to health and fitness, and you’re trying to lose weight, you’re most likely overwhelmed at what you should start with and how you should train.

Are you gonna go sign up for a gym membership, hire a trainer, and start doing squats and deadlifts?

As much as I would WISH that was the answer (it’s probably the fastest path to changing one’s physique), it’s probably a bridge too far for most folks. So a majority of newbies equate running with weight loss (which MIGHT be true, but MIGHT not, I’ll explain soon), and decide to start with a jog around the block.

#3) Couch to 5K is not overwhelming. It’s a free program (or inexpensive app), and it’s very approachable. Programs like P90X and Insanity are designed to appeal to people that consider themselves hardcore (whatever the hell that means). Couch to 5K appeals to people who are overwhelmed at the idea of doing P90X or Insanity or mustering up the courage to go to Crossfit.

Couch to 5K makes you think “maybe I can actually do this…” which is the most important part of any fitness journey: starting.

#4) Everybody wants to “have run a 5K.” If you’re new to health and fitness and working on setting a good obtainable goal, “run a 5K this year” is a great place to start.

It’s a short enough distance that with some training you can pull it off, even if you have to walk some or all of it.

There are 5Ks practically every weekend, many of which raise money for charity or are themed in a fun way,

It’s an amazing activity to do as a group with friends.

Humans are wired for achievements, progress, and gratification – 5Ks are perfectly designed for that.

So in completing Couch to 5K, you train and get to see yourself progress weekly, you get to finish a race and feel a  sense of accomplishment, and you go home with a medal you can hang on your wall reminding you of the proud moment.

Plus, it might get you in shape!

Maybe.

Does Couch to 5K actually work? Will I lose weight Doing Couch to 5K?

“Steve that’s all fine and good. But what do you REALLY think about running 5Ks and Couch to 5K?”

Okay you got me. I got thoughts. I also got jokes (they’re bad).

RANT INCOMING!

Will the Couch to 5K program help you run a 5k? YES! If you actually stick with it for the entirety of the training program.

Will the Couch to 5K program help you lose weight? MAYBE.

Is Couch to 5K a program that will get you healthy permanently? MAYBE.

Will Couch to 5K make me sexy and look damn good in a bathing suit? MAYBE, but probably not.

Here’s the truth about Couch to 5k: It’s the same truth with popular programs like P90X or Insanity or any other structured workout program:

It totally works and will help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, AND

You fix your diet.

It totally doesn’t work and won’t help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, BUT

You don’t fix your diet.

As sexy as it is to think that just going for a run will help you lose weight, the data doesn’t back it up. In fact, as Time Magazine rightly pointed out years ago and got yelled at for telling the truth, exercise alone won’t make you lose weight.

I believe that to be especially true when exercise is only steady-speed cardio.

In fact, many people gain weight after starting an exercise routine and get completely demoralized.

What gives?

As we say here at Nerd Fitness, you can’t outrun your fork, and nutrition is 90% of the battle.

If you go for a mile run and then stuff your face with extra calories “because you earned it,” you’re going to gain weight.

It’s not because you have a slow metabolism, I promise. It’s because you’re consuming too many calories.

If this were a movie, nutrition would be Tom Cruise in Mission:Impossible and exercise is that funny sidekick who helps Tom. Let’s be real here, Tom is doing all of the heavy lifting to make that movie what it is.

Couch to 5K helps people run a 5K. That’s it. It isn’t designed to help you lose weight or build a body you’re proud of. It’s also a temporary program that lasts a certain number of weeks until you run your 5k.

For Couch to 5K to be successful for you long term, and for it to help you lose weight, it needs to be the catalyst that causes you to build a consistent long term habit of exercise and changes how you think about food.

Remember: you never get to be “done”, so you need to enjoy the journey and look forward to exercising daily. You also need to train the right way to build the type of body you want! And eat the right way.

That’s priority numero uno.

I know nutrition is a really challenging, complex, controversial topic (Keto? Paleo? Ah!), which is why we make it stupidly simple for smart, good looking, modest people like yourself. In addition to our online coaching program that guides you on making healthier food choices, we also created a free 10-level NF Diet blueprint you can hang on your fridge next to your Couch to 5K pdf.

Print it out, hang it on your fridge, and follow the instructions to level up every 2 weeks! You can get yours free when you sign up in the box below:

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Now that we have the “will I lose weight?” stuff out of the way, I have two BIG questions to ask you:

Do you like running?

Are you healthy enough to run?

Do you even like running?

Bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman said it best: “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight.”

In other words: “Everybody wants to be in shape, and look great, but nobody wants to put the work in to actually GET in shape and look great.”

And yup, getting in shape is tough; if it were easy we’d all look like Captain America and Wonder Woman.

Instead, 70% of America is overweight and 30+% are obese. Crap.

Which brings me back to the most crucial question of this entire 5K process:

Do you even LIKE running?

The world is split into three groups:

People that like running and want to run.

People that don’t like running but eventually learn to love it.

People that don’t like running and will never like running.

Here’s that Ronnie Coleman quote, slightly adapted: “Everybody wants to have run a 5k, but many people don’t actually enjoy running.”

Running a 5k is a great achievement and a worthwhile fun goal, but it’s only one way of thousands to “get in shape.”

Admittedly, I’m firmly in Group #3: I don’t like running.

When I run I feel like Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec:

I ran cross country in high school and started training the following summer for the upcoming season…only to suddenly realize, “Wait a second, I dread doing this every single morning. Why am I doing this to myself? I quit!”

I then quit running, decided to try weight training and gymnastics, fell in love with picking up heavy shit and doing cool bodyweight moves, and those choices led me down a path to start Nerd Fitness and that’s why you’re reading this article today!

Some people love that feeling of anguish or pushing beyond the limits. I don’t happen to enjoy feeling like that, so I put my focus on exercise that energizes and makes feel better.

Your mileage may vary, and you might love these feelings. Great!

So before you start Couch to 5K, think of it like a science experiment:

“I hypothesize that following Couch to 5K will help me run a 5K. I also hypothesize I’ll enjoy the process, enjoy how I feel after a run, enjoy running a 5k, and/or enjoy the achievement of having run a 5k.”

And that’s all this is: an experiment to see if running is the type of exercise you want to continue doing consistently for the next few years.

If 2 weeks into Couch to 5K you’re miserable and hate it: fantastic! You just discovered that you hate running and are now free to NEVER RUN EVER AGAIN FOREVER. It doesn’t make you a failure. It means your science experiment produced a result that you can now use to inform future exercise decisions. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you found a type of exercise that doesn’t work for you.

If you discover you LOVE running and how it makes you feel: fantastic! You can now make running part of your regular exercise routine. Combine this with a good nutritional strategy, and you will build yourself a runner’s physique. And you’ve found something you can do for the rest of your life.

If you are running to prove something to yourself, because a friend is doing it, because you’re raising money for charity, or anything else: fantastic! Do Couch to 5K and then decide after if this is the strategy that you enjoy and want to stick with permanently.

If you’re ONLY doing this to lose weight and it’s making you miserable, quit. Don’t run. Ever. Instead, pick exercise you actually enjoy. But not because the exercise is going to help you lose weight – because doing exercise you love is a constant reminder of “I’m making healthier choices, and thus I should probably eat healthier!”

If weight loss above all else is your goal, I’d recommend our Beginner Bodyweight routine you can do at home and combine it with our “beginner’s guide to healthy eating.” I can promise that if you read those strategies and start to implement them in your life, you’ll see results without ever having to set foot on a treadmill.

Phew! Okay, that covers “do you actually LIKE running?”

There’s another massive question you should be asking yourself before you start…

Are you healthy enough to run a 5K?

Just because you WANT to run doesn’t mean you SHOULD necessarily start running just yet.

It could be a fast track to injury, disappointment, and misery!

Those are literally three of my least favorite things. The fourth being brunch. [1]

Back to your health: are you physically ready to run?

If you’re at or close to your goal weight, then starting a running program is a good idea. Read the section below on “How to not get injured doing Couch to 5K” and get started.

If you are obese or very overweight, I think (power)WALKING a 5K is a great goal for the immediate future.

I don’t think running a 5K is going to be a healthy solution to helping you get healthy – in fact, it might cause damage to your joints and ligaments and cause you to backslide a whole bunch.

WHAT I WOULD DO: Focus on healthy eating, building the habit of daily walks, and follow a beginner strength building routine like the Beginner Bodyweight Circuit. This will build you a solid foundation of strength, core strength, and endurance.

Download our free Bodyweight Workout Worksheet when you sign up in the box below:

Grab Your Beginner Bodyweight Routine Worksheet. No Gym Required!

Complete this workout at home, no equipment required

Avoid the common mistakes everybody makes when doing bodyweight exercises

Learn how to finally get your first pull-up

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

So here’s why you should focus on strength and nutrition before pounding the pavement with hours of running:

As you begin to drop weight, a lot of the stress on your joints, organs, bones, etc. will start to decrease.

As you strength train, the ligaments that hold your body together will become stronger and more adequately prepared for the rigors of running.

As you refine your running form to minimize resistance and jarring shocks throughout your body, your body will learn to become more efficient.

When you start to approach your goal weight, you can start to introduce increase your speed from power walking to jogging – with correct running technique (see below) – and staying healthy.

“STEVE, I was all excited to run a 5k, and now you have me demoralized. I’m overweight but I still want to run!”

Okay okay okay, fine! I don’t want to keep you from exercising, I want to help you build momentum and make you antifragile.

Obviously, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and if running before your physically ready is what you want to do, go for it!

Just do it safely, please! Read the section below on how to not suck at running!

I would still advise that you focus your efforts on strength training, hiking, long walks on the beach…low impact activities that strengthen rather than deteriorate your body.

But you do you, boo.

How to start the Couch to 5K Program

“Steve..

https://ift.tt/2mJDXzi

[almajonesnjna]

From Couch to 5K: 5 Crucial Things to Know Before You Start Training

Running.

Some people live for it, chasing faster times and that unbelievable “runners high.”

Others despise it with the passion of a thousand suns (which is an excessive number of suns).

As somebody who used to run cross country in high school, and will probably never run a mile again, I have strong opinions on this stuff.

Today we’re going to cover it all: running your first 5K, if you even SHOULD run a 5k, and all the details of the famous Couch to 5K program.

After all, Couch to 5K is the most popular 5K running program since “run for your life” invented by a human like 150,000 years ago.

“Don’t run for your life” was equally popular, it just…didn’t last long.

Quiet, I know. This was a way better gif than a human being chased by a wild animal.

Plus, dinosaurs.

Anyways!

You’re here because you wanna know if you can build up to running a 5k without losing your breath or having to stop.

So here’s what we’re gonna cover in this article:

What is it about Couch to 5K that makes it so dang popular?

Does Couch to 5K actually work?

Will I lose weight training for a 5K?

How do I not hurt myself running a 5K?

What if I own a futon, but like, it’s a nice one. Can I still do Couch to 5k?

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for longer than this article, you know my thoughts about running for weight loss (spoiler: I think it’s an awful way to lose weight).

HOWEVER…

I also think running can be a fantastic activity (for the right person if they do it the right way)!

So, are you that person?

And what is the right way?

Keep reading and I’ll tell ya.

In exchange, I can promise hilarious gifs.

And maybe also Michael Jackson.

What is Couch to 5K? Why is it so popular?

“Couch to 5kK” is a free program that takes people from their couch to running a 5K race in 9 weeks.

5K is short for 5 kilometers, or 5,000 meters or 3.1 miles.

Depending on which “couch to 5K” program you pick, it might be 6 weeks, or 12 weeks, or 9 weeks. Although this running program was invented by Josh Clark of CoolRunning WAY back in the day, it has since been co-opted and copied by every running blog out there, so we’re going to be referring to a generic “Couch to 5K” program when we talk about it.

Here it is in a nutshell: Couch to 5K utilizes an uber popular concept called interval training – moving at different speeds throughout a running session – and lays out exactly what to do every day for 6-12 weeks after starting.

By varying your pacing, your body is forced to adapt to different speeds, your heart and lungs have to adapt to various levels of strenuous activity (and get stronger/healthier as a result), and you actually burn more calories and get better prepared for a race then compared to just training at a constant speed.

In other words, interval training rocks and should be used by anybody who wants to get better at running.

Over the weeks, Couch to 5K slowly ramps up the amount of time you spend running and cuts back the time you spend walking until you’re at the point where you can actually run a 5K without stopping.

“STEVE, I’M INTRIGUED. WHY IS COUCH TO 5K SO DANG POPULAR?”

#1) It’s simple and clear. Print out a PDF or download an iphone app and for the next 9 weeks you simply do what it tells you: Today, do this. Tomorrow, do that. Repeat.

We are all busy. Most of us lead hectic lives. And programs that tell us EXACTLY what to do allow us to follow instructions without needing to figure it out ourselves.

Not that us nerds overanalyze things to the point of giving ourselves anxiety attacks…

#2) Most people think running = weight loss. If you’re brand new to health and fitness, and you’re trying to lose weight, you’re most likely overwhelmed at what you should start with and how you should train.

Are you gonna go sign up for a gym membership, hire a trainer, and start doing squats and deadlifts?

As much as I would WISH that was the answer (it’s probably the fastest path to changing one’s physique), it’s probably a bridge too far for most folks. So a majority of newbies equate running with weight loss (which MIGHT be true, but MIGHT not, I’ll explain soon), and decide to start with a jog around the block.

#3) Couch to 5K is not overwhelming. It’s a free program (or inexpensive app), and it’s very approachable. Programs like P90X and Insanity are designed to appeal to people that consider themselves hardcore (whatever the hell that means). Couch to 5K appeals to people who are overwhelmed at the idea of doing P90X or Insanity or mustering up the courage to go to Crossfit.

Couch to 5K makes you think “maybe I can actually do this…” which is the most important part of any fitness journey: starting.

#4) Everybody wants to “have run a 5K.” If you’re new to health and fitness and working on setting a good obtainable goal, “run a 5K this year” is a great place to start.

It’s a short enough distance that with some training you can pull it off, even if you have to walk some or all of it.

There are 5Ks practically every weekend, many of which raise money for charity or are themed in a fun way,

It’s an amazing activity to do as a group with friends.

Humans are wired for achievements, progress, and gratification – 5Ks are perfectly designed for that.

So in completing Couch to 5K, you train and get to see yourself progress weekly, you get to finish a race and feel a  sense of accomplishment, and you go home with a medal you can hang on your wall reminding you of the proud moment.

Plus, it might get you in shape!

Maybe.

Does Couch to 5K actually work? Will I lose weight Doing Couch to 5K?

“Steve that’s all fine and good. But what do you REALLY think about running 5Ks and Couch to 5K?”

Okay you got me. I got thoughts. I also got jokes (they’re bad).

RANT INCOMING!

Will the Couch to 5K program help you run a 5k? YES! If you actually stick with it for the entirety of the training program.

Will the Couch to 5K program help you lose weight? MAYBE.

Is Couch to 5K a program that will get you healthy permanently? MAYBE.

Will Couch to 5K make me sexy and look damn good in a bathing suit? MAYBE, but probably not.

Here’s the truth about Couch to 5k: It’s the same truth with popular programs like P90X or Insanity or any other structured workout program:

It totally works and will help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, AND

You fix your diet.

It totally doesn’t work and won’t help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, BUT

You don’t fix your diet.

As sexy as it is to think that just going for a run will help you lose weight, the data doesn’t back it up. In fact, as Time Magazine rightly pointed out years ago and got yelled at for telling the truth, exercise alone won’t make you lose weight.

I believe that to be especially true when exercise is only steady-speed cardio.

In fact, many people gain weight after starting an exercise routine and get completely demoralized.

What gives?

As we say here at Nerd Fitness, you can’t outrun your fork, and nutrition is 90% of the battle.

If you go for a mile run and then stuff your face with extra calories “because you earned it,” you’re going to gain weight.

It’s not because you have a slow metabolism, I promise. It’s because you’re consuming too many calories.

If this were a movie, nutrition would be Tom Cruise in Mission:Impossible and exercise is that funny sidekick who helps Tom. Let’s be real here, Tom is doing all of the heavy lifting to make that movie what it is.

Couch to 5K helps people run a 5K. That’s it. It isn’t designed to help you lose weight or build a body you’re proud of. It’s also a temporary program that lasts a certain number of weeks until you run your 5k.

For Couch to 5K to be successful for you long term, and for it to help you lose weight, it needs to be the catalyst that causes you to build a consistent long term habit of exercise and changes how you think about food.

Remember: you never get to be “done”, so you need to enjoy the journey and look forward to exercising daily. You also need to train the right way to build the type of body you want! And eat the right way.

That’s priority numero uno.

I know nutrition is a really challenging, complex, controversial topic (Keto? Paleo? Ah!), which is why we make it stupidly simple for smart, good looking, modest people like yourself. In addition to our online coaching program that guides you on making healthier food choices, we also created a free 10-level NF Diet blueprint you can hang on your fridge next to your Couch to 5K pdf.

Print it out, hang it on your fridge, and follow the instructions to level up every 2 weeks! You can get yours free when you sign up in the box below:

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Now that we have the “will I lose weight?” stuff out of the way, I have two BIG questions to ask you:

Do you like running?

Are you healthy enough to run?

Do you even like running?

Bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman said it best: “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight.”

In other words: “Everybody wants to be in shape, and look great, but nobody wants to put the work in to actually GET in shape and look great.”

And yup, getting in shape is tough; if it were easy we’d all look like Captain America and Wonder Woman.

Instead, 70% of America is overweight and 30+% are obese. Crap.

Which brings me back to the most crucial question of this entire 5K process:

Do you even LIKE running?

The world is split into three groups:

People that like running and want to run.

People that don’t like running but eventually learn to love it.

People that don’t like running and will never like running.

Here’s that Ronnie Coleman quote, slightly adapted: “Everybody wants to have run a 5k, but many people don’t actually enjoy running.”

Running a 5k is a great achievement and a worthwhile fun goal, but it’s only one way of thousands to “get in shape.”

Admittedly, I’m firmly in Group #3: I don’t like running.

When I run I feel like Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec:

I ran cross country in high school and started training the following summer for the upcoming season…only to suddenly realize, “Wait a second, I dread doing this every single morning. Why am I doing this to myself? I quit!”

I then quit running, decided to try weight training and gymnastics, fell in love with picking up heavy shit and doing cool bodyweight moves, and those choices led me down a path to start Nerd Fitness and that’s why you’re reading this article today!

Some people love that feeling of anguish or pushing beyond the limits. I don’t happen to enjoy feeling like that, so I put my focus on exercise that energizes and makes feel better.

Your mileage may vary, and you might love these feelings. Great!

So before you start Couch to 5K, think of it like a science experiment:

“I hypothesize that following Couch to 5K will help me run a 5K. I also hypothesize I’ll enjoy the process, enjoy how I feel after a run, enjoy running a 5k, and/or enjoy the achievement of having run a 5k.”

And that’s all this is: an experiment to see if running is the type of exercise you want to continue doing consistently for the next few years.

If 2 weeks into Couch to 5K you’re miserable and hate it: fantastic! You just discovered that you hate running and are now free to NEVER RUN EVER AGAIN FOREVER. It doesn’t make you a failure. It means your science experiment produced a result that you can now use to inform future exercise decisions. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you found a type of exercise that doesn’t work for you.

If you discover you LOVE running and how it makes you feel: fantastic! You can now make running part of your regular exercise routine. Combine this with a good nutritional strategy, and you will build yourself a runner’s physique. And you’ve found something you can do for the rest of your life.

If you are running to prove something to yourself, because a friend is doing it, because you’re raising money for charity, or anything else: fantastic! Do Couch to 5K and then decide after if this is the strategy that you enjoy and want to stick with permanently.

If you’re ONLY doing this to lose weight and it’s making you miserable, quit. Don’t run. Ever. Instead, pick exercise you actually enjoy. But not because the exercise is going to help you lose weight – because doing exercise you love is a constant reminder of “I’m making healthier choices, and thus I should probably eat healthier!”

If weight loss above all else is your goal, I’d recommend our Beginner Bodyweight routine you can do at home and combine it with our “beginner’s guide to healthy eating.” I can promise that if you read those strategies and start to implement them in your life, you’ll see results without ever having to set foot on a treadmill.

Phew! Okay, that covers “do you actually LIKE running?”

There’s another massive question you should be asking yourself before you start…

Are you healthy enough to run a 5K?

Just because you WANT to run doesn’t mean you SHOULD necessarily start running just yet.

It could be a fast track to injury, disappointment, and misery!

Those are literally three of my least favorite things. The fourth being brunch. [1]

Back to your health: are you physically ready to run?

If you’re at or close to your goal weight, then starting a running program is a good idea. Read the section below on “How to not get injured doing Couch to 5K” and get started.

If you are obese or very overweight, I think (power)WALKING a 5K is a great goal for the immediate future.

I don’t think running a 5K is going to be a healthy solution to helping you get healthy – in fact, it might cause damage to your joints and ligaments and cause you to backslide a whole bunch.

WHAT I WOULD DO: Focus on healthy eating, building the habit of daily walks, and follow a beginner strength building routine like the Beginner Bodyweight Circuit. This will build you a solid foundation of strength, core strength, and endurance.

Download our free Bodyweight Workout Worksheet when you sign up in the box below:

Grab Your Beginner Bodyweight Routine Worksheet. No Gym Required!

Complete this workout at home, no equipment required

Avoid the common mistakes everybody makes when doing bodyweight exercises

Learn how to finally get your first pull-up

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

So here’s why you should focus on strength and nutrition before pounding the pavement with hours of running:

As you begin to drop weight, a lot of the stress on your joints, organs, bones, etc. will start to decrease.

As you strength train, the ligaments that hold your body together will become stronger and more adequately prepared for the rigors of running.

As you refine your running form to minimize resistance and jarring shocks throughout your body, your body will learn to become more efficient.

When you start to approach your goal weight, you can start to introduce increase your speed from power walking to jogging – with correct running technique (see below) – and staying healthy.

“STEVE, I was all excited to run a 5k, and now you have me demoralized. I’m overweight but I still want to run!”

Okay okay okay, fine! I don’t want to keep you from exercising, I want to help you build momentum and make you antifragile.

Obviously, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and if running before your physically ready is what you want to do, go for it!

Just do it safely, please! Read the section below on how to not suck at running!

I would still advise that you focus your efforts on strength training, hiking, long walks on the beach…low impact activities that strengthen rather than deteriorate your body.

But you do you, boo.

How to start the Couch to 5K Program

“Steve..

https://ift.tt/2mJDXzi

[fitnetpro]

From Couch to 5K: 5 Crucial Things to Know Before You Start Training

Running.

Some people live for it, chasing faster times and that unbelievable “runners high.”

Others despise it with the passion of a thousand suns (which is an excessive number of suns).

As somebody who used to run cross country in high school, and will probably never run a mile again, I have strong opinions on this stuff.

Today we’re going to cover it all: running your first 5K, if you even SHOULD run a 5k, and all the details of the famous Couch to 5K program.

After all, Couch to 5K is the most popular 5K running program since “run for your life” invented by a human like 150,000 years ago.

“Don’t run for your life” was equally popular, it just…didn’t last long.

Quiet, I know. This was a way better gif than a human being chased by a wild animal.

Plus, dinosaurs.

Anyways!

You’re here because you wanna know if you can build up to running a 5k without losing your breath or having to stop.

So here’s what we’re gonna cover in this article:

What is it about Couch to 5K that makes it so dang popular?

Does Couch to 5K actually work?

Will I lose weight training for a 5K?

How do I not hurt myself running a 5K?

What if I own a futon, but like, it’s a nice one. Can I still do Couch to 5k?

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for longer than this article, you know my thoughts about running for weight loss (spoiler: I think it’s an awful way to lose weight).

HOWEVER…

I also think running can be a fantastic activity (for the right person if they do it the right way)!

So, are you that person?

And what is the right way?

Keep reading and I’ll tell ya.

In exchange, I can promise hilarious gifs.

And maybe also Michael Jackson.

What is Couch to 5K? Why is it so popular?

“Couch to 5kK” is a free program that takes people from their couch to running a 5K race in 9 weeks.

5K is short for 5 kilometers, or 5,000 meters or 3.1 miles.

Depending on which “couch to 5K” program you pick, it might be 6 weeks, or 12 weeks, or 9 weeks. Although this running program was invented by Josh Clark of CoolRunning WAY back in the day, it has since been co-opted and copied by every running blog out there, so we’re going to be referring to a generic “Couch to 5K” program when we talk about it.

Here it is in a nutshell: Couch to 5K utilizes an uber popular concept called interval training – moving at different speeds throughout a running session – and lays out exactly what to do every day for 6-12 weeks after starting.

By varying your pacing, your body is forced to adapt to different speeds, your heart and lungs have to adapt to various levels of strenuous activity (and get stronger/healthier as a result), and you actually burn more calories and get better prepared for a race then compared to just training at a constant speed.

In other words, interval training rocks and should be used by anybody who wants to get better at running.

Over the weeks, Couch to 5K slowly ramps up the amount of time you spend running and cuts back the time you spend walking until you’re at the point where you can actually run a 5K without stopping.

“STEVE, I’M INTRIGUED. WHY IS COUCH TO 5K SO DANG POPULAR?”

#1) It’s simple and clear. Print out a PDF or download an iphone app and for the next 9 weeks you simply do what it tells you: Today, do this. Tomorrow, do that. Repeat.

We are all busy. Most of us lead hectic lives. And programs that tell us EXACTLY what to do allow us to follow instructions without needing to figure it out ourselves.

Not that us nerds overanalyze things to the point of giving ourselves anxiety attacks…

#2) Most people think running = weight loss. If you’re brand new to health and fitness, and you’re trying to lose weight, you’re most likely overwhelmed at what you should start with and how you should train.

Are you gonna go sign up for a gym membership, hire a trainer, and start doing squats and deadlifts?

As much as I would WISH that was the answer (it’s probably the fastest path to changing one’s physique), it’s probably a bridge too far for most folks. So a majority of newbies equate running with weight loss (which MIGHT be true, but MIGHT not, I’ll explain soon), and decide to start with a jog around the block.

#3) Couch to 5K is not overwhelming. It’s a free program (or inexpensive app), and it’s very approachable. Programs like P90X and Insanity are designed to appeal to people that consider themselves hardcore (whatever the hell that means). Couch to 5K appeals to people who are overwhelmed at the idea of doing P90X or Insanity or mustering up the courage to go to Crossfit.

Couch to 5K makes you think “maybe I can actually do this…” which is the most important part of any fitness journey: starting.

#4) Everybody wants to “have run a 5K.” If you’re new to health and fitness and working on setting a good obtainable goal, “run a 5K this year” is a great place to start.

It’s a short enough distance that with some training you can pull it off, even if you have to walk some or all of it.

There are 5Ks practically every weekend, many of which raise money for charity or are themed in a fun way,

It’s an amazing activity to do as a group with friends.

Humans are wired for achievements, progress, and gratification – 5Ks are perfectly designed for that.

So in completing Couch to 5K, you train and get to see yourself progress weekly, you get to finish a race and feel a  sense of accomplishment, and you go home with a medal you can hang on your wall reminding you of the proud moment.

Plus, it might get you in shape!

Maybe.

Does Couch to 5K actually work? Will I lose weight Doing Couch to 5K?

“Steve that’s all fine and good. But what do you REALLY think about running 5Ks and Couch to 5K?”

Okay you got me. I got thoughts. I also got jokes (they’re bad).

RANT INCOMING!

Will the Couch to 5K program help you run a 5k? YES! If you actually stick with it for the entirety of the training program.

Will the Couch to 5K program help you lose weight? MAYBE.

Is Couch to 5K a program that will get you healthy permanently? MAYBE.

Will Couch to 5K make me sexy and look damn good in a bathing suit? MAYBE, but probably not.

Here’s the truth about Couch to 5k: It’s the same truth with popular programs like P90X or Insanity or any other structured workout program:

It totally works and will help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, AND

You fix your diet.

It totally doesn’t work and won’t help you lose weight if you do two things:

You actually complete the program, BUT

You don’t fix your diet.

As sexy as it is to think that just going for a run will help you lose weight, the data doesn’t back it up. In fact, as Time Magazine rightly pointed out years ago and got yelled at for telling the truth, exercise alone won’t make you lose weight.

I believe that to be especially true when exercise is only steady-speed cardio.

In fact, many people gain weight after starting an exercise routine and get completely demoralized.

What gives?

As we say here at Nerd Fitness, you can’t outrun your fork, and nutrition is 90% of the battle.

If you go for a mile run and then stuff your face with extra calories “because you earned it,” you’re going to gain weight.

It’s not because you have a slow metabolism, I promise. It’s because you’re consuming too many calories.

If this were a movie, nutrition would be Tom Cruise in Mission:Impossible and exercise is that funny sidekick who helps Tom. Let’s be real here, Tom is doing all of the heavy lifting to make that movie what it is.

Couch to 5K helps people run a 5K. That’s it. It isn’t designed to help you lose weight or build a body you’re proud of. It’s also a temporary program that lasts a certain number of weeks until you run your 5k.

For Couch to 5K to be successful for you long term, and for it to help you lose weight, it needs to be the catalyst that causes you to build a consistent long term habit of exercise and changes how you think about food.

Remember: you never get to be “done”, so you need to enjoy the journey and look forward to exercising daily. You also need to train the right way to build the type of body you want! And eat the right way.

That’s priority numero uno.

I know nutrition is a really challenging, complex, controversial topic (Keto? Paleo? Ah!), which is why we make it stupidly simple for smart, good looking, modest people like yourself. In addition to our online coaching program that guides you on making healthier food choices, we also created a free 10-level NF Diet blueprint you can hang on your fridge next to your Couch to 5K pdf.

Print it out, hang it on your fridge, and follow the instructions to level up every 2 weeks! You can get yours free when you sign up in the box below:

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Now that we have the “will I lose weight?” stuff out of the way, I have two BIG questions to ask you:

Do you like running?

Are you healthy enough to run?

Do you even like running?

Bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman said it best: “Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight.”

In other words: “Everybody wants to be in shape, and look great, but nobody wants to put the work in to actually GET in shape and look great.”

And yup, getting in shape is tough; if it were easy we’d all look like Captain America and Wonder Woman.

Instead, 70% of America is overweight and 30+% are obese. Crap.

Which brings me back to the most crucial question of this entire 5K process:

Do you even LIKE running?

The world is split into three groups:

People that like running and want to run.

People that don’t like running but eventually learn to love it.

People that don’t like running and will never like running.

Here’s that Ronnie Coleman quote, slightly adapted: “Everybody wants to have run a 5k, but many people don’t actually enjoy running.”

Running a 5k is a great achievement and a worthwhile fun goal, but it’s only one way of thousands to “get in shape.”

Admittedly, I’m firmly in Group #3: I don’t like running.

When I run I feel like Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec:

I ran cross country in high school and started training the following summer for the upcoming season…only to suddenly realize, “Wait a second, I dread doing this every single morning. Why am I doing this to myself? I quit!”

I then quit running, decided to try weight training and gymnastics, fell in love with picking up heavy shit and doing cool bodyweight moves, and those choices led me down a path to start Nerd Fitness and that’s why you’re reading this article today!

Some people love that feeling of anguish or pushing beyond the limits. I don’t happen to enjoy feeling like that, so I put my focus on exercise that energizes and makes feel better.

Your mileage may vary, and you might love these feelings. Great!

So before you start Couch to 5K, think of it like a science experiment:

“I hypothesize that following Couch to 5K will help me run a 5K. I also hypothesize I’ll enjoy the process, enjoy how I feel after a run, enjoy running a 5k, and/or enjoy the achievement of having run a 5k.”

And that’s all this is: an experiment to see if running is the type of exercise you want to continue doing consistently for the next few years.

If 2 weeks into Couch to 5K you’re miserable and hate it: fantastic! You just discovered that you hate running and are now free to NEVER RUN EVER AGAIN FOREVER. It doesn’t make you a failure. It means your science experiment produced a result that you can now use to inform future exercise decisions. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you found a type of exercise that doesn’t work for you.

If you discover you LOVE running and how it makes you feel: fantastic! You can now make running part of your regular exercise routine. Combine this with a good nutritional strategy, and you will build yourself a runner’s physique. And you’ve found something you can do for the rest of your life.

If you are running to prove something to yourself, because a friend is doing it, because you’re raising money for charity, or anything else: fantastic! Do Couch to 5K and then decide after if this is the strategy that you enjoy and want to stick with permanently.

If you’re ONLY doing this to lose weight and it’s making you miserable, quit. Don’t run. Ever. Instead, pick exercise you actually enjoy. But not because the exercise is going to help you lose weight – because doing exercise you love is a constant reminder of “I’m making healthier choices, and thus I should probably eat healthier!”

If weight loss above all else is your goal, I’d recommend our Beginner Bodyweight routine you can do at home and combine it with our “beginner’s guide to healthy eating.” I can promise that if you read those strategies and start to implement them in your life, you’ll see results without ever having to set foot on a treadmill.

Phew! Okay, that covers “do you actually LIKE running?”

There’s another massive question you should be asking yourself before you start…

Are you healthy enough to run a 5K?

Just because you WANT to run doesn’t mean you SHOULD necessarily start running just yet.

It could be a fast track to injury, disappointment, and misery!

Those are literally three of my least favorite things. The fourth being brunch. [1]

Back to your health: are you physically ready to run?

If you’re at or close to your goal weight, then starting a running program is a good idea. Read the section below on “How to not get injured doing Couch to 5K” and get started.

If you are obese or very overweight, I think (power)WALKING a 5K is a great goal for the immediate future.

I don’t think running a 5K is going to be a healthy solution to helping you get healthy – in fact, it might cause damage to your joints and ligaments and cause you to backslide a whole bunch.

WHAT I WOULD DO: Focus on healthy eating, building the habit of daily walks, and follow a beginner strength building routine like the Beginner Bodyweight Circuit. This will build you a solid foundation of strength, core strength, and endurance.

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I identify as a:

Woman

Man

So here’s why you should focus on strength and nutrition before pounding the pavement with hours of running:

As you begin to drop weight, a lot of the stress on your joints, organs, bones, etc. will start to decrease.

As you strength train, the ligaments that hold your body together will become stronger and more adequately prepared for the rigors of running.

As you refine your running form to minimize resistance and jarring shocks throughout your body, your body will learn to become more efficient.

When you start to approach your goal weight, you can start to introduce increase your speed from power walking to jogging – with correct running technique (see below) – and staying healthy.

“STEVE, I was all excited to run a 5k, and now you have me demoralized. I’m overweight but I still want to run!”

Okay okay okay, fine! I don’t want to keep you from exercising, I want to help you build momentum and make you antifragile.

Obviously, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and if running before your physically ready is what you want to do, go for it!

Just do it safely, please! Read the section below on how to not suck at running!

I would still advise that you focus your efforts on strength training, hiking, long walks on the beach…low impact activities that strengthen rather than deteriorate your body.

But you do you, boo.

How to start the Couch to 5K Program

“Steve I’m in. I read all of that jazz above and I am ready to get started. Whether I’m walking or running, I want to start Couch to 5K!”

If you’re ready to do the Couch to 5K program, you can download the following which I believe is the Original Couch to 5K Program (they’ve made it quite tough to find!).

The reason it’s tough to find is they’re pushing people towards the official Couch to 5K App.

Here’s another which I found on Antrandado.com

For us Nerds, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the super fun Zombies Run! app, which uses interval training combined with fun audio cues and video game mechanics throughout your running sessions.

What I would do next after downloading the program? Do the first day of training!

I would also recommend finding a race that’s 2-3 months from now, and sign up for it even if you’re not ready. Recruit a friend or two to join you in training and the race!

Doing these things create immediate motivation and accountability.

It’s the strategy that Jaime from Nerd Fitness used to get herself in shape: signing up for races in the future that she wasn’t quite ready for yet.

She also strength trained and dramatically overhauled her nutrition, but she used races as great motivational events to stay on target!

HOW TO FIND A 5K IN YOUR TOWN: Let me google that for you. Type “5K + [your town]”, and I bet there’s a 5k every weekend for the rest of the year coming up. The Couch to 5K app also lists local races for you.

To recap: pick a race that looks fun that raises money for a good cause, recruit a friend or two, and go for your first day of running.

It’s gonna suck, and you’re going to be fine. You’ll get better!

This is exactly what I did years ago when I dressed up like a Caveman with 20 of my friends and raised thousands of dollars for kids with cancer to go to summer camp!

How to Not Get Injured Training For a 5K

If you don’t learn how to run correctly, you’re doomed to develop an overuse injury and that’s going to negate the whole reason you started running in the first place!

This is why your running form is so damn crucial: when you run, you’re putting hundreds of pounds of pressure on your joints and ligaments with each bounding step down the road. This is then repeated thousands of times over the course of training and a race.

No wonder nearly every runner has tons of stories of injuries they’ve had to deal with. It can be brutal activity that can wreak havoc even with good running mechanics.

With poor running mechanics, the results are compounded.

And not the GOOD kind of “compounded” like compound interest like you learned in 2nd grade with the story about starting with 1 penny a day and doubling it for 30 days.

The BAD kind of “compounded” like plantar fasciitis and stress fractures and sore IT bands and torn ligaments and crazy soreness all the time.

We don’t want that.

I’m going to get super granular into proper running technique in this section, so if you already have perfect running form, you can skip this section. But I’d still read it.

Yeah, you should probably read it.

Here are the 5 Steps to Not Sucking at Running a 5K, thanks to my friend Jason Fitzgerald of Strength Running:

1) Lean from your ankles. Lean from your ankles, and keep a straight line from your ankle, through your butt, and up to your head. If you’re standing still with this slight forward lean, you should feel like you’re about to fall forward.

Kind of like Michael Jackson in “Smooth Criminal.” Just, slightly less of a tilt. Hat optional. Style encouraged.

When you start running, gravity will help keep you progressing forward. A proper lean from the ankles keeps your body in alignment and loads your muscles properly and efficiently.

2) Increase your cadence. Cadence is your stride rate, or the number of steps you take per minute. It will probably seem weird at first, but you’re putting less stress on your legs with shorter foot strikes.

Your cadence should be at least 170-190 steps per minute when you’re running at an easy, conversational pace. It will probably increase once you start running faster—that’s normal.

“Steve, what the hell do I do with “170-190 steps per minute?”

Great question. Go to Spotify and look for 170-190BPM playlists, like these which I found here:

170-190 BPM: Hip Hop Playlist

170-190 Rock Playlist 

Not on Spotify? Cool. (But like, why?) To get a cadence, try running to Outkast’s “Hey Ya” and time your strides to match the beat. That’s the cadence you’re looking for:

Research has shown[2] that increasing your cadence and taking more steps (around 180 per minute) provides many of the same benefits of barefoot running: less impact shock that goes up your legs, improved running economy (or your efficiency, which means you’ll run faster with less effort!), and a reduced chance of injury.

You’ll feel like you’re taking way more steps than normal – that means you probably had poor form before and now you’re fixing it!

If your legs get to the point where they’re going this fast, let me know:

3) Foot strike at the right time. When your foot comes down and makes contact with the ground, it should be underneath your body, not in front of it. Combined with a quick cadence and a slight forward lean from your ankles, you’ll be distributing impact shock evenly—and efficiently.

This aspect of running form is often skipped over by beginning runners. Instead of focusing on where the foot is landing in relation to the rest of the body, they focus too much on running on their forefoot. If you don’t first land in the right place, a midfoot or forefoot strike will only do more damage.

As you’re running, a good mental cue is to think that you’re just “putting your foot down” in a straight line underneath your body. There’s no reaching or stretching your leg out in front of you. Practicing this mental cue will have your leg touching down almost exactly underneath your center of mass, distributing your weight evenly and safely.

4) Land on your mid-foot. While not as important as landing underneath your center of mass, becoming a mid-foot striker has a host of benefits. It can help you avoid a lot of injuries by absorbing impact shock and preventing a severe heel striking running stride.

Heel-striking can’t be entirely blamed for injuries and labeled “bad.”

Even elite athletes heel strike when they run races! It’s not entirely bad— especially if you’re putting weight down on your foot just after you heel strike, instead of directly on the heel.[3]

What you should focus on is having a higher cadence, landing underneath your body, and not aggressively heel striking. Try to land with your foot flat on the ground, instead of with your toes angled upwards.[4]

5) Symmetrical arm swing. Nobody wants to look at you running if you’re flailing your arms wildly all over the place like Elaine dancing from Seinfeld. An ideal arm swing has your arm bent at about 90 degrees and a front to back swing (not side-to-side).

Imagine a pretend line that goes down your mid-line or center of your body. When you run, your hands should not cross over this imaginary line. Cup your hands loosely together (no clenched fists!) and if you want to use your arms for momentum, pump your elbows, not your hands.

Once you incorporate these changes into your running form, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable and your injury risk is going to plummet.

For extra credit, learn to run softly and quietly. Foot stomping isn’t allowed and gets increasingly more difficult as you approach 180 steps per minute.

A few other things you want to keep in mind:

Keep a tall back, chest up. No slouching.

Look 30-50 meters in front of you – not head down looking at your toes.

Both are easy cues to keep an athletic posture and good running form.

Go back through and read this section a few more times. We know it’s a LOT to think about while running, but it is incredibly important. If you get a chance, have somebody film you running, and then watch your tape back to see how you’re doing.

Tips and Tricks for Training for Your 5K

Although the Couch to 5K Program covers specifically how you should be training, it still leaves out quite a few important things (like technique, which I covered above!).

Once you’ve picked your 5K training program, here’s how to get yourself to ACTUALLY follow through on your training!

Recruit an accountability partner. Have somebody that trains with you (or at least somebody you tell about your training), so that each day you can check in with each other.

Wanna be diabolical? Give somebody else $100 of your money. And tell them you’ll check in with them after your training every day – if you don’t do your run, they’ll donate $50 of that money to a political cause you HATE.

While you’re building the habit of running, you need to make the pain of skipping your run greater than the pain of doing the run.

Do this enough times until you build up enough momentum and get hooked on that runners high so that you actually look forward to training.

Warm-up before, stretch after. Don’t do static stretches beforeyour runs. It’s not doing what you think it is[5]. Instead, you’re going to warm up your muscles through active movement.

Do the following warm-up before you run. Continue this by going for a light jog, high knees, and warming up your muscles through movement.

Do the following cool down after you run. Stretching after for the win!

Make it the first thing you do each day. Build the habit of doing your run first thing in the morning when life hasn’t had a chance to get in the way. Sleep in your running clothes. Put your alarm clock/phone across the room. Put your running shoes by the door. By hacking your batcave, you’ll minimize the steps between you and the new habit you’re trying to build.

Strength training makes running easier. Doing 1-2 sessions of strength training per week (on days you’re not running) will help you burn fat, build muscle, and stay injury free. Follow our Beginner Bodyweight Routine, no equipment required.

Don’t worry about your shoes when you start. Wear whatever you shoes you have so that you can just get started building the habit immediately. If you START to love running, read our article on proper footwear and get yourself some better kicks.

The same is true for “running clothes.” Do not let this be a barrier to entry. Start running first and make sure you like it before you go spending any hard-earned cash on stuff you’re not gonna use.

Sign up for your race as far in advance as possible. Use 20 seconds of courage if you need to, but commit to the race. If you don’t sign up, you’re going to be much more likely to back out when life gets busy. But if you pay for it ahead of time, and get other people to run with you, you’re going to be using positive peer pressure to follow through on your commitments.

Your race time doesn’t matter! Who cares if you’re the last person to finish? Like the Rock taught us, it doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you finish something that you started. That’s a huge accomplishment in itself.

Start a running club or join one at work – the more people you surround yourself with that are doing the things you want to do. Hang out with runners that are faster than you. You’re the average of the 5 people you associate most with, so you might as well start associating with faster, healthy runners.

Don’t have an in-person running community? That’s cool! Join the Scouts Guild in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion. It’s the section of our community that does running, biking, swimming, and other distance based activities!

What Do I do After the Couch to 5k?

You made it through the training, and you ran/walked your first 5k! I’m so proud of you.

Gold star.

A+.

So after successfully completing your first 5K, you may be wondering what you should do next. To run again or not…

Many new runners absolutely love the atmosphere at a race; the number pick- up, pre-race motivational speech, cheering crowds, and crossing that finish line.Oh, and the post race beer and meal is the best food and drink you’ve ever tasted.

So after the excitement settles down, you need to ask what you want to do next.

Your three options:

Run Faster: Sign up for another 5k, keep training, and try to beat your previous race time.

Run longer: Maybe you want to run a longer race like a 5 miler, a 10k, or go slay a bigger dragon like half-marathons or marathons.

Pick a different activity: Going from Couch to 5K to Couch doesn’t help you at all. Temporary changes create temporary results.

If you’re looking to run more or faster, here are two of my favorite resources to level up:

Run Faster from the 5K to the Marathon: How to Be Your Own Best Coach

Strength Running: A site by my friend Jason Fitzgerald.

NOTE: If you’re already a part of (or interested in joining) our coaching program, share with your coach your running goals so we can build your program around those specific goals!

And there ya have it.

To recap:

Couch to 5K may or may not be a great program for you. It depends on how much you enjoy running, and what you are hoping to get out of the program.

Running a 5K might be a good way to lose weight. It is entirely dependent on your nutrition. The same is true of literally ANY workout program.

Make sure your running technique is solid. It’ll save you years of pain and injury.

Recruit a friend or find a way to stay accountable so you actually do the race!

Who cares about your race time! Just completing the race should be your goal.

Once you finish the race, decide if you want to keep running or if you are going to pick a different activity.

Okay, it’s your turn. I’d love to hear your experiences when it comes to training for a 5K, and if you enjoyed the process.

Have you DONE Couch to 5K? Did you stick with it?

What challenges did you run into along the way?

Share it in the comments below so we can share it!

-Steve

PS: We have a bunch of NF Coaching clients that are training for 10Ks and half-marathons and tough mudders. If you’re somebody that wants to do races like this, but aren’t sure how to eat right and how to fit the training into your life, consider checking out our really fun 1-on-1 online coaching program.

You can learn more by scheduling a free call with our team to see if we’re a good fit for each other! Sign up by clicking on the box below:

PPS: In honor of our continued “Outsiders Month” at Nerd Fitness, this week’s Rebel Hero is Rebecca rocking her Nerd Fitness gear! I’m going to assume her horse’s name is Epona and she gallops like the wind:

Want to be the next Rebel Hero? Send us a photo of you in your NF Gear to contact@nerdfitness.com so we can share your photo and story!

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photo credit: mripp Fun run, almostsummersky sleepy pups, BRICK 101 LEGO Sonic Tails & Shadow, clement127 Halloween is coming!!, Mabacam Speed, Photography andreas Just a Lego Minifig, Reiterlied Wandering in the North, clement127 Banquet

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Yeah, you read that right. Bring me the regular menu! Don’t @ me.

You can read the review if you want to science out about running strides

This is called a “proprioceptive heel strike” and is done just to get a sense of where the ground is

When your toes are angled up, this is called “dorsiflexion” – nerd alert!)

This massive review of stretching studies covers it in crazy detail

From Couch to 5K: 5 Crucial Things to Know Before You Start Training published first on http://fitnetpro.tumblr.com/