#phuh

[jade-jini]

“Why are you here?”

G!PHuh Yunjin x Reader

A continuation of My Ex's Best Friend. Read that first bro.

Prompt: After the events of "meeting" your friend's new gf (who turned out to be your ex) and her incredibly hot (and super kind) best friend, it still seems like you both can't stay away from each other. Even when your dates are in the same club with you.

Genre: Smut. Angst? lek it deesn't make me sad

TW: Cheating, friend betrayal. Public sex. Breeding kink.

Why. Just why. Why did she have to be there? Why did you have to be there?!

“Oh! There they are, let’s go!” Chaewon excitedly said while pulling you by the hand to a table in the club. Oh. That’s why.

After such a fun time with Chaewon on the night of that basically unofficial double date with Yunjin and NingNing, you guys started spending a lot of time together. You would hang out from time to time, but 95% of the time you were with each other was spent naked, either in your bed, hers, your car, etc.

Whenever you hang out with NingNing, she would refer to Chaewon as your “girlfriend”, even though you clarify that you guys were not a couple at all. You talked about it with Wonie, and she was more than ok with just being fwb, since it was obvious (specially in you) that you guys just weren’t planning on starting another relationship. Still, NingNing would tease you about it. And after learning who you were to Yunjin, she’d refer to her only by “my girl”. You didn’t wanna think your friend was jealous of you, but she wasn’t helping her case. NingNing was as transparent as they come. You knew how she felt, you were just grateful it didn’t seem to be such a big deal yet.

“Hi there!” Your best friend said to you and chaewon once you were in her range of vision. “oh my goddd I’m so glad we are doing this.” She said while softly shaking your arm and exchange a kiss on the cheek with your date.

Yes. Her and chaewon planned this now official double date. In their minds, the four of you agreed on it. But Yunjin and you knew this was the last thing you guys wanted. That’s why you simply smiled at each other as a hello. I mean, you guys were exes, why would you want to be in the same space as the other? But now that you’re seeing her this night, with that beautiful dress that was letting her legs and shoulders show, with a color that contrasted perfectly with her skin. You couldn’t help let your eyes travel up and down her body.

“Hey, did you hear me?” You felt Chaewon shaking your shoulder and bringing you back to reality. You shook your head slightly. Your attention was supposed to be in the girl next to you, not a girl from your past. Let alone your best friend’s partner. You looked at Chaewon and you could tell she noticed your distracted eyes, so you smiled at her and silently asked her to repeat, while holding her hand trying to act like nothing happened. She seemed to buy it. “I’m gonna go get a drink, what do you want me to get you?”

“Just get me the same you get, I’m sure it’ll be good.” You answered, shortly caressing her chin. You could see the little blush in her face as you did that. Chaewon was such a cutie, it shouldn’t be wasn’t hard to stay focused on her. You saw her and Yunjin get up to get the drinks, leaving you and your best friend alone. And for the first time in a long time, it felt awkward.

“She looks great doesn’t she?” She suddenly said. You looked at your friend and nodded. “Yunjin I mean.”

“I know” you thought, but stopped yourself from speaking. You knew what NingNing was doing, trying to get some type of “evidence” that you were still into “her” girl. It was a trap. And you were an idiot but still weren’t gonna fall for it.

“Oh I was talking about Chaewon, bro. But yeah, your girl looks nice too” you answered nonchalantly. “And so do you, got me wishing you were single” you jokingly added with a wink and a kiss sent her way, trying to smooth the atmosphere a little bit. Luckily, it got a little giggle out of her. And just in time as the other two girls came back to the table. You saw how Yunjin made herself comfortable on NingNing’s lap and your mood changed again, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the sight. However, Chaewon quickly distracted you by giving you your drink with a smile and whispering a “hey” with those sparkly eyes that could melt anybody. You smiled and said hi back, hugging her by her shoulders and making sure she was comfortable while she started a conversation with NingNing. Good. That was good.

But fuck. At the moment your eyes went back to the front, you could catch Yunjin’s dark eyes looking at both of you and how her demeanor didn’t look as friendly as a minute ago. “Was she jealous?” You thought. Nah. It didn’t make sense. 1. She was the one who broke up with you. And 2. She was there with her girlfriend so how could that be. She had that extra sexy and serious that surrounded her when jealous so… god but she has been looking so hot all night.

Maybe you were starting to understand why NingNing felt jealous about you. Maybe your feelings weren’t exactly there anymore (right?) , but how could anybody stop the attraction towards the goddess in front of you? You were just a human. However, you needed to at least pretend the way your eyes and body were acting was only because of the girl next to you. So for most of the night you tried to focus on Chaewon and Chaewon only.

And it worked… for most of the night.

More drinks came and started to make effect. Sitting down was not fun anymore so the four of you decided to move to the dance floor. The songs were getting more sensual, the atmosphere was hot. Feeling Chaewon’s back against your front while she danced and lost herself in the rhythm, she could feel your breath against her neck while your hands were softly guiding her hips. You were having a good time, seriously considering taking her hand and dragging her to the nearest and emptiest room you could find in the club, until you made the mistake of looking at the couple in front of you. Why.

Right there was your best friend basically rubbing her ass slowly against your ex’s crotch while the latter was smiling at her and biting her lip, moving with her. what the fuck?? That wasn’t even dancing at this point! You didn’t want to process it, but you felt upset. Uncomfortable. Jealous. No. Yes. Fuck.

Fuck. Not jealous. Not of her. God why. You thought while you turned Chaewon around.

“Hey I’m gonna go to the bathroom and then I’ll go outside to smoke for a minute ok?” You let her know, ready to make your way out of the dance floor, just needing to be away from those two, knowing that the alcohol wouldn’t let you act nor think straight. Chaewon looked at you a little confused and asked “are you ok?”.

“Yes yes don’t worry, I’ll be back soon. Just have fun.” You told her and kissed her forehead before leaving, being unsurprisingly sweet. Sometimes you two did cute little acts like this to each other, looking like a couple. It was cute and you knew it. But right now you were so upset ‘cause of your jealousy that you couldn’t give a fuck about that.

Since her eyes were stuck on you, Yunjin clearly noticed you leaving, and followed you until she saw where did you go.

“Baby I’m gonna go pee ok? I’ll be back soon” she whispered in NingNing’s ear, who was far too drunk to care so she simply nodded and grabbed chaewon to continue dancing with her. Yunjin smiled, knowing that at least they’ll distract each other enough for her to properly talk to you now. She needed to know why Tf you wouldn’t even look her in the eye during the whole night. What was going on?

———

You were upset, yes. But mostly at yourself. Why. Why was she here. Why were you here and why were you so jealous?! Yes she is your ex but you guys broke up a long time ago. You were over her! Right…?

Yes! Yes you were. You had to be. Plus, she was your best friend’s girlfriend. You had to respect that. NingNing didn’t know who she was to you before getting with her. She didn’t break any friendship code. And you couldn’t do it neither.

“Y/n?” you heard a familiar voice outside your stall. The last voice you wanted to hear at the moment.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” You told Yunjin, while splashing some water in your face in hope you’ll look less stressed once you went out.

“Are you ok?” She asked, concern in her voice.

“I said I’ll be out in a minute, Yunjin.” You said with a tone more aggressive than expected but you just weren’t in the mood to deal with, well, nothing. You finally made your way out of the stall and faced her.

“Jeez ok I’m sorry! I was just asking...” She said once you opened the door. “… are you sure you’re ok tho?”

“Oh my god.” You sighed as you rolled your eyes, not caring to answer. You were walking out of the bathroom when you felt a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you a little too close to her body “what the fuck, Jen?! Why are you here?”

“Why are you so angry at me? What did I do now?” She asked, tired of your attitude. You sighed again, too tired to even fight her.

“You didn’t do anything. I’m just not in the best mood right now ok?” You tried giving her a decent explanation that wasn’t completely a lie.

“Why? What’s wrong?” But this is Yunjin we’re talking about. She cares and a lot, and she always insists, a lot.

“No reason, just because. I think I’ll tell Wonie I wanna go home…” you didn’t wanna ruin the girl’s night but your own head killed the vibe and you were tired in more than one way. Plus it was 12:05 already, it wasn’t that early neither right? Right?

“But why…”

“Yunjin, I just told you-”

“Y/n, you can talk to me. We were friends before, why can’t we be friends again-”

“We can never be friends, Yunjin!” You almost yelled at her. You could see the sadness hitting her face after the surprise of your loud voice. But cmon, she knew this already. “You know it’s true. There’s just too much” you pointed at her and you back and forth “in here. And we’ve always been very bad at stopping or ignoring it. The only time we were ever able to do it was once we were as far away from each other as possible. And now…”

“And now what?” She asked, and you couldn’t tell if what you heard in her voice was some type of hope.

“And now you’re way too close and I’m way too jealous and my mind is not exactly here and if you don’t walk away right now I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” You confessed and got even angrier at yourself. Why Tf did you sound desperate. What was going on.

“What if I want to find out what you’re gonna do if I don’t walk away?” She whispered basically on top of your lips.

“Yunjin…” you silently begged her, but you weren’t sure what you were begging for. Maybe you were begging for her not to push you to probably ruin your friendship with Ning. Maybe you were begging her to finally let you. Or maybe you were begging her to never do it again.

“What, y/n?” She whispered, looking at your eyes and then back at your lips. She looked hungry and you were sure you looked even worse.

“God I fucking hate you.” You said before pushing her inside the stall and closing the door. The moment the door was closed you pushed her against it and kissed her like she was oxygen. Once your lips connected you couldn’t help but moan in each other’s mouths. It felt so fucking good. Her lips tasted so fucking good.

“Oh my god…” she sighed once your lips went to her neck. You weren’t trying to leave a mark, you just wanted to enjoy the taste of her skin again. The feeling of it. The feeling of her hands in your hair keeping you close. Of her- wow. Oh yeah. Totally the feeling of that.

“So hard already?” You teased her while giggling, feeling her little big friend against your thigh. You heard her whimper, probably a little embarrassed.

“It’s too easy when it’s you, you know that. Plus you’ve been looking so good all night, can’t blame me.” She defended herself and pouted. God you really deserved a star for containing yourself all this time ‘cause how the fvck did you stop yourself from kissing her. Luckily right now you were able to do it as much as you wanted to. And so you did, while grabbing her cock over her dress, swallowing the moan that escaped her lips.

You felt too hyped. Too turned on. You wanted Yunjin and everything about her and you wanted it now, so you didn’t waste time in moving her dress and pulling down her underwear, masturbating her member. The girl in front of you rested her head against the door, biting her lip and enjoying the feeling of your hand.

“Did you grow or am I insane?” You asked her genuinely, eyeing her cock ‘cause last time you checked she was a little shorter than now, and that was already a lot back then. “Hey, I asked you a question.”

“ I- I don’t know.. god don’t stop doing that please…” Yunjin begged, fighting to keep her eyes opened.

“I’ll do something better, check this” you said while gettin on your knees. Yunjin could barely process what you were about to do when she felt your tongue licking her length from the base to the tip, and wrapping around the tip.

“Holy fuck, yes y/n!” She moaned a little too loud getting her hands on your hair. You quickly got on your feet and put your hand on her mouth.

“Jesus Yunjin shut the fuck up!” You whispered-screamed at her. But almost regretted it when she gave you those scolded puppy eyes.

“I- I’m sorry, it just felt too good I couldn’t help it…” she defended herself and how could you be angry at her. How could you ever be angry at her for any reason?

“I know puppy, I’m sorry. Just be careful with your volume ok?” You told her in a rather softly tone now, the nickname tasting so natural in your mouth and you could see the spark in her eyes when she heard it and the sweet voice. If there was something she missed like crazy was that. She nodded and left a kiss on your lips. “How are you so hot and cute at the same time?! What’s with that?!” you asked with a frown making her giggle. But quickly that stopped when you went back to your knees to keep giving her cock some attention. This time, she tried her best to stay as quiet as possible.

“God I missed your mouth so much. Your tongue feels so good…” she whispered while caressing your hair, looking at you and rolling her eyes when you got almost all her length inside your mouth “oh my god…”

“I swear this thing got bigger…” you said, sounding almost upset that you were struggling taking it all when you’ve done it before multiple times. For some reason, Yunjin found this funny. “What you laughing at?”

“Nothing nothing” she said smiling and suddenly she got an idea that made her bite her lip. Such a sexy view. “What if we measure that somewhere else though…”

Oh. Oh you were so down for that.

“Come here.” You said getting up and kissing her deep. You felt the tall girl grab your legs and carrying you, making you sit on the edge of the sink. She got in between your legs while her kisses started going down. Yunjin moved your panties to the side, while making her way down between your legs. Before her mouth touched your so needy zone, she was staring at it and you could swear she was drooling.

“You look like a dog right now, you know?” You teased her. It was true though, she looked desperate. “Fucking taste it already if you want it that bad.” Yunjin rolled her eyes at you.

“Oh shut up. Like you c-”

“Oh my god, Shut up already.” You interrupted her, forcing her face to your cunt. You could feel her moaning against it , the vibrations just adding to the pleasure her mouth was giving you. God, you could die right there knowing nothing could compare to Yunjin’s tongue all over your pussy. “Hmm that’s it. That’s a good girl. Make me come like this and maybe I’ll let you put that big cock inside me, yes puppy?” You said to her while stroking her hair, her eyes never leaving you and you knew how much she needed that ‘cause she started putting her mouth to work even better than before if that was possible. “Oh my God… you’re such a slut for this pussy aren’t you? Just the idea of being inside it m-making you work hard for it huh?”

You saw her nod as her tongue went up and down your folds, at the same time that you felt the tip of two of her fingers teasing your entrance. She did this for a few more seconds until she felt you ready to get those long fingers inside you. She started a fast rhythm rather soon though, and you were ok with it, knowing what was coming couldn’t even compare. You could see Yunjin practically fighting against the impulse of humping the air. She needed to be inside you. But if she gets to make you come in her mouth first, then she wasn’t gonna miss that chance. What a horny puppy, you thought. She better made you come fast otherwise you were just gonna give her the satisfaction of not waiting and fucking you in that exact second.

“Hmmm you taste so fucking good…” she whispered before going back to sucking and licking on your clit. You wanted to moan so loud, feeling your climax close, but knowing there was the chance of somebody else being in that bathroom at that exact moment, you decided to take Yunjin’s wrist and bring the fingers that were inside you to your mouth. “God, you are so hot.” She moaned and stopped to look at you, getting fixated on the way you were sucking on her fingers, wishing it was her dick instead.

“Be quiet. Show me that tongue, I wanna fuck your pretty mouth.” You almost ordered her, your voice getting deeper and getting her so excited you could see her imaginary tail moving side to side. She didn’t waste no time and did as she was told. And it was such a perfect image; Yunjin on her knees for you, with her mouth open waiting for you to use it. You grabbed her hair just tight enough to keep her in place, and started rubbing your cunt against her tongue. “Fuck yeah baby, your mouth is so good.” You moaned with your eyes closed. Yunjin was glad you did, ‘cause while you focus on that she started touching herself. Enough to stimulate her but not too much that she was gonna come. Fuck no, she was saving all that for when she was inside you.

“Fuck, Yunjin…” you started to move faster. Yunjin took her hands off her dick and started playing with your nipples, knowing how sensitive they were and that that would help you reach your high faster. “I’m gonna come.. oh my god yes..” you stopped yourself from making any loud noise and bit your hand hard, coming in the girl’s mouth so much she would never forget the taste of your cunt (not like she ever could before tonight). “Holy fuck… that was so good…” you said out of breath. Yunjin got on her feet, just looking at you and begging not only for your praise but also to finally have her own relief. You looked at her and her cock’s head was so red you almost felt bad for making her wait. Almost.

“such a good puppy. Come here” you called her. You didn’t have to tell her twice, she got so close her cock was rubbing against your pussy, making both of you moan. You started rubbing it with your hand as well. “You did so good, it’s only fair we make you come just as good right?” You asked and without waiting for an answer you put the head of her cock inside you, seeing how the girl bit her lip and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling. Yunjin started to slowly get more inside, and you felt every single inch almost touching your soul. God, you missed it too much.

Once she was completely inside you, she put her hand on your mouth, then put half of her cock out just to thrust inside you hard. Fucking bitch. It hurt, but it hurt so good you couldn’t not love it, specially when she was sucking on your tits at the same time, making you wonder why did she take so long to put those in her mouth. Yunjin started a not so slow rhythm, loving the way your wet pussy tightens around her cock. She fitted so perfectly inside you. She reached every spot, and god she sounded and looked so hot while getting lost in her own pleasure.

“Fuck, I missed this fucking pussy so much.” She groaned in your ear, your hands traveling to her back so your nails could leave some light decoration there. “You missed me too, didn’t you, baby? Missed being fucked this good, huh? B-being able to squeeze this cock so good inside? Fuck…Ahh…y/n..~” her words were doing things to you, making you tighter around her, almost begging she’d never get out of you.

“You’re r-right, y/n. We can never be friends. Not when I love being inside you this much.” She said, now slower but deeply getting in and out of you, making you moan against her hand and not daring to look away from her eyes. “Not when it feels like we were made for each other.”

“Like you were made to fill me up this good?” You whispered after taking her hand and lowering it.

“Fuck yeah…” she moaned almost out of breath, her voice showing how your words affect her. You could feel her hard cock twitching inside you. “I wanna come so bad inside you right now, please let me…”

And God, who were you to say no when she was asking like that. You always loved how she would ask for permission to come, and how she’d beg you to let her do it inside. You didn’t know who loved it more; if her or you.

“Fuck. Please do it. Fuck me faster and fill me up” you whispered in her hear, knowing how much she liked when you talk her through it.

“God, keep talking..” she said while grabbing the back of your thighs and suddenly fucking you fast against the wall. You bit her shoulder to avoid screaming, and she could feel the little tears of pleasure against the side of her face, which just turned her on even more. “You like this don’t you? My cock fucking you so deep and hard…”

“So fucking hard…” you could barely make any sense, feeling your second orgasm close. “Fuck fuck fuck, yes! Fuck Yunjin…”

“I’m gonna come. Gonna put a fucking baby inside you, yeah?” You could tell she was out of her mind at the moment too. But whatever was coming out of her mouth was pushing you closer and closer to your climax. “Would you like that, huh? Me coming inside you so much ‘till I get you fucking pregnant? Filling this pussy so much like nobody else… Fuck..! oh shit…oh y/n!” and that’s when you guys couldn’t hold it any longer.

“Holy fuck, Yunjin…!” You came intensely, moaning her name again and again in her ear, holding her so close to you. Your own orgasm making her dick feel more sensitive if that was possible, making the taller girl reach her own climax.

You could feel Yunjin coming so much inside you, her erratic movements while she fucked her cum deeper inside your cunt. God she missed that feeling. Nothing felt better than your pussy. Yunjin felt tears of pleasure and joy in the corner of her eyes. You could only watch her, her mouth open, her frowned expression. All while her cock was still spilling cum inside you that if it weren’t ‘cause of how big Yunjin was, you know it’d be going down your thighs until it ruined the floor of that bathroom. “God you feel so good, you feel so fucking good…” she sobbed with a shaky voice on your shoulder while slowly putting you down. Her moves slowing down, still head in the clouds ‘cause of her orgasm. You stroked her hair, helping her calm down. She was such a sensitive one, and you loved that. You always have.

“Shh it’s ok baby, you did so good. You were so so good.” You whispered while leaving kisses on her sweaty forehead, and you could feel her arms around your waist as she cuddled against your shoulder even more. For a moment you both forgot where you were, the things that happened, and who you were supposed to be with right now. It was her and you and you didn’t give a single fuck about the outside world.

But that wasn’t gonna last. It’s a fucking bathroom in a club. And that’s your “best friend”’s girlfriend. Who was probably looking for her girlfriend right now so you better get the fuck outta that place.

“Um..” you started, not wanting to but slightly pushing her away from you just enough to both have a little bit of space. She looked at you confused. “I think we should get out now.”

“What?” She asked, like she was still trapped in your little bubble.

“NingNing and Chaewon are probably wondering where are we, that’s if NingNing didn’t go out to buy a gun to kill me already” you tried to joke, but your giggle came out so bitter and you could tell Yunjin was reading your true feelings in your eyes. Still, what were you both supposed to do?

“Right. Yeah…” she said, trying to smile too, as if it was a way of agreeing with you that you were choosing to ignore the things that happened a minute ago, and the feelings that wanted to go crazy on your skin. Once both of you looked a little more presentable, you decided that you’d leave first and go outside to pretend you were smoking, while she would pretend she was at the bathroom in the second floor.

You went outside and got close to a zone where a few girls were chatting and smoking, hoping the smell would stick to your clothes enough that the group you came with would believe it. Once you made your way back to the inside of the club, you could see Yunjin once again sitting on NingNing’s lap, hugging her by the shoulder while the couple were happily talking with your date. Chaewon saw you first, and her smile became wider. You walked to the table and did your best to look as relaxed as you would after a cigarette. Wonie continued with what she was saying as she made herself comfortable on your shoulder. You sighed and rested your head against hers ‘cause honestly you were tired. You tried smiling so none of them would be able to read you but you knew there was one person in that table whose smile was saying just the same as yours. You could always read those eyes and that smile and at least tell when there was something that wasn’t happiness in there. You read them again and again during the last days of your relationship. How you wish you could’ve changed t- no no no. No.

She was your best friend’s girlfriend now. And NingNing was a great girl. And so was chaewon (who wasn’t your official girlfriend but didn’t exactly deserve her date fucking her best friend). And what you did was entirely wrong. But you couldn’t change it, just how you couldn’t change your past with Yunjin and the things that went wrong and lead you to this situation.

Oh god. it’s the post nut clarity.

[orangeocelotmartyn]

You know what it is. Transcript under the cut for Landduo being landduo

Foolish: Okay, it's all good Bad: Foolish--thank you officer, you saved me. Foolish: You're welcome. Bad: Y-you're supposed to say 'all in a day's work.' Foolish: Oh, okay, that was going to be my next line. I don't-- Bad: Oh, okay. I guess we can re-run that. Foolish: No, we don't. It's fine, the magic's over. Bad: Thank you officer, you saved me, I thought I was going to die-- Foolish: Get down on the ground, you're under arrest! Bad: Ah, Fudge! I swear, it was just one Hershey bar, I'm sorry-- Foolish: Oh, one Hershey bar, but that's how it starts, okay. Next thing you know, you're gonna stop at another store--it's gonna be two Hershey bars. Bad: Okay, and a Gatorade, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, don't shoot, don't shoot-- Foolish: Do you mean it? Are you sorry? Bad: Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll never--I'll never shoplift again. Foolish: You're free to go. Bad: Okay-- Foolish: But as punishment I have to throw four snowballs in your face. Bad: Okay. Foolish: And you have to open your mouth. Bad: O-okay? Foolish: And after I throw it you have to act like it hit your mouth Bad:…what? Okay? (Foolish throws a snowball) Bad: Phuh, ugh, oh, no, it's snowy-- (Foolish throws the second snowball) Bad: Ahh, ugh-- (Foolish throws the third snowball) Bad: Ahh, phuh--it's gross-- Foolish: Last snowball! (Foolish throws the fourth snowball) Bad: Awww, oh, my teeth, oh so cold. (Foolish begins laughing) Bad: Alright…um. Foolish: Alright. You've done the crime, serve the time or something. Whatever it is. Bad: Okay, alright. So I'm free to go now? Foolish: Yeah. Yeah, you're all good. We can, uh, continue whatever it is we were going about.

[ghoulish-art-tendencies]

PHANNIES…

[nalza73]

nurse laki wei

Aku adalah seorang jururawat lelaki di sebuah rumah sakit di swasta. Walaupun agakganjil lelaki berjawat jawatan sebagai jururawat tapi itu yang nyata. Kerja giliran malam di hospital tempat aku bekerja bermakna aku harus menjaga dua buah ward yang bersebelahan. Di samping itu aku ditugaskan dengan dua orang pembantu jururawatw (assistant nurse) wanita.

Sudah menjadi lazim kami akan membuat kerja routine sejurus mula waktu kerja. Kerja ini akan selesai lebih kurang jam 12 tengah malam. Aku menyuruh dua orang nurse pembantu ku untuk berehat sementara aku berada di nurses station menghabiskan urusan admin. Jam satu pagi apalagi giliran aku pula yang masuk kedalam bilik rehat. Apa nak buat membutalah untuk satu jam (jadilah!!!!!!!!!)

Jam dua aku kembali ke nurses station. Tapi tak banyak kerja. Duduk-duduk saja. Jam tiga aku mula round tengok pesakit-pesakit yang rata-rata sedang syiok membuta. Phuh……phuh…..phuh, ada yang kain terselak, yang tidur terkankang, pendek katamacam-macam style lah mereka mengayakan tidur. Tapi tak hairanlah dah biasa, lagipun kebanyakkan pesakit dah tua. Masa aku round salah seorang daripada nurse mesti disebelah. Maklum lah kalau-kalau pesakit complaint aku nak cuba meraba mereka ke….

Pada malam pertama aku round tak ada apa-apa yang ganjil. Cuma aku round ke dua- dua ward dengan nurse yang satu ini.

Aku tanya dia "mana Roy" singkatan bagi nama Rohaya.

"Ke tandas tadi" jawab Ithniani ringkas.

Aku tak peduli dan teruskan dengan tugas-tugas ku untuk membuat laporan keadaan pesakit.

Pada malam kedua pekara yang sama terjadi. Eh wah……… ini mungkin kes curi tidur, fikir aku dalam kepala otak. Jadi aku pun nak spylah. Tapi tak berjaya. Mana si Roy dah sembunyi ni???????? Well tak apa lah, asalkan kerja dia beres sudahlah.

Malam ketiga aku masih macam berdendam nak cari Roy sampai dapat. Macam biasa, tapi malam ini aku round pukul 2 tak macm selalu pukul 3. Ain, panggilan Ithniani rengkas sebelah aku nampak gelisah, tapi dah memang kerjanya dia membuntut aku. Sampai kami di pintu 5 ward 5A Ain semakin tak tentu arah. Dia menyekat aku dari membuka pintu bilik 5.

"Li…….. Mr Richard Lim okaylah" memanjangkan tangannya, Ain menghalangi aku darimeneruskan masuk pintu.

Aku melangkah masuk dan rasa-rasanya dagu ini bagai terjatuh kelantai, tercengangmelihat Roy dalam keadaan berbogel tanpa seurat benang dengan memegang segelas airminuman. Buah dada yang masih segar muda tersembul indah, putih, lembut, tegangdengan puting yang berwarna kecoklatan berkedudukan di tengah (masih kecil lagi) dan kemaluan nya pun sangat indah hendak digambarkan. Bulu kerinting halus tersusun indah membentuk segi tiga mengikuti pangkal peha yang bertemu. Kulit nya mulus putih tebonjol sedikit diantara kedua peha yang masih kejang. Kaki Roy kelihatan indah menampakkan ketinggian orangnya. Phuh…………. Macam bermimpi layak nya. Mimpi melihat bidadari yang turun kedunia untuk mandi dikolam.

Suasana lengang tanpa sebarang perkataan. Aku, Mr Richard Lim yang kaki nya tergantung, Roy dan Ain tak berkata seolah ada malaikat lalu kata orang-orang tua dahulu. Tapi yang ini nyata bidadari berdiri di hadapan kami. (Air lior macam nak meleleh). Aku berundur melangkah keluar dan terus ke nurses station tanpa menulis laporan buat Mr Lim. Termenung aku seolah dalam keadaan shock. Setelah beberapaminit aku kembali pulih dan mengambil kesemua Patient's Record Card dan mulamenulis laporan pesakit.

Dalam otak aku terfikir-fikir sama ada harus melapurkan mereka kepihak atasan atau tindakan lain yang sesuai.

Selang satu jam aku buat keputusan, "Ah…. pedulikan saja lah mereka, yang pentingkerja aku kerja mereka beres".

Tepat jam 7, semua kawan-kawan yang bertugas giliran pagi sudah berkumpul. Sapertibiasa aku menyerahkan tugas dan cabut ketempat meletak kereta. Aku capai scrambler aku dan terus pulang kerumah saperti suami-suami yang baik (tak singah kemana-mana). Di rumah aku menyiapkan sarapan sendiri kerana isteriku, seorang guru telah keluar bekerja.

Ting-tong………. Terperanjat beruk aku dibuatnya.

"Sapa ni datang pagi-pagi buta?" berkata hati kecil ku sambil melangkah untuk membukadaun pintu.

Diluar terjongol Roy yang masih beruniform putih. Aku persilakan dia masuk dan diaterus mengambil tempat duduk disofa diruang tamu.

"Li Roy bukan apa… Mr Lim tu kata dia dah lama tak tengok pompuan. Dia kasi Roy$300.00 suruh Roy buka baju. Jadi Roy ambiklah. Dia tak pegang Roy pun" terang Roylagi.

"Kan dia on traction? Tak bolih bangun?" Roy menegakkan pendirian.

"So you didn't report to sister?" terukir senyuman Roy.

"Nop," jawab ku rengkas.

Roy bingkas bangun menghampiri ku, mencium pipiku dan menjalarkan tangan nya kepeha ku yang dibalut Levi's. (Dalam hati menyesal jugak ni, Levi's tebal oi tak beraparasa lah). Aku tak dapat berbuat apa (atau sengaja tak berbuat apa-apa) hanyamenerima nikmat ciuman yang terus menular ke mulut. Roy pula sudah mula duduk bercelapak dipangkuan, memeluk-meluk menggayut-gayut leher ku. Dalam seluar juniortelah bangun cuba menolak-nolak seluar yang masih rapi. Terasa sakit sedikit keranaRoy menduduki junior sambil mengomol aku. Tangan aku hanya memeluk tubuh Roymembalas ciuman mulut.

Keadaan junior semakin sakit kesempitan jadi aku terus menolak Roy kebelakang dan membaringkannya di sofa panjang. Mengangkat kaki nya, uniform putih Roy tersingkapmenampakkan seluar kecilnya. Mata ku tajam mencuri pandang pada pangkal peha Roy. Pemandangan yang sungguh indah. Terletak saja Roy pada keempukkan sofa aku menyingkap lagi uniform Roy yang baru cuba dirapikannya. Terserlah segi tiga yang dibaluti seluar dalam yang juga putih. Roy bingkas menurunkan merapikan uniform yang aku singkap. Aku memandangnya, dia tersenyum sambil mengelengkan kepala dengan manja,

"Dosa tau….." kata manis Roy.

"Habis yang semalam kasi apek tu tengok?" balas ku sambil cuba menarik berebut menarik uniform Roy.

"Itu dia dah tak bolih buat apa pun" tegas Roy.

Tangan Rosli makin berkeras menyingkap uniform Roy. Roy merelakan saja. Aku dah taksabar lagi menikmati pemandangan yang tak terkata. Perut Roy mulus putih. Aku mula mengusap perut Roy dan melakar-lakar disekeliling pusat Roy. Rasa-rasanya belaiantangan ini seolah menyayangi apa yang diusap. Tangan ku terus merayap kebawah lagi, membelai segi tiga larangan yang masih di baluti seluar dalam kecil yang lembut. Usapan demi usapan masih di lakukan sebelum tindakan lanjut di ambil.

Roy ku lihat ketika itu sudah terpejam menikmati belaian tangan ku. Sesekali punggung nya terjungkit mengikut rentak tangan ku.

Jari-jari ku, ku selinapkan sedikit pada pinggir seluar dalam yang menutupi maruah Roy. Terasa bulu ari-ari yang tumbuh dipinggir lubang syurga. Puas menikmati pemandangan itu usapan aku turun lagi pada peha yang mulus. Terus aku belai dari pangkal yang

"Eh!!! apa ni. Jangan ah buat Roy gini…."

Tak puas-puas lagi aku mengusap-usap keseluruh kaki Roy yang bersih tanpa berbulu dan mulus putih. Aku kembali lagi ke segi tiga bermuda dan mula menepuk-nepuk mengusap- usap lubang syurga yang masih di dalam seluar kecil. Aku tidak rasa kelam kabut mungkin kerana setibanya di rumah tadiaku dah pun onani mengeluarkan air gatalkerana mengingatkan peristiwa berjumpa bidadari malam tadi. Dan ini peluang sekali lagi malah berdampingan terus dengan bidadari. Didalam otak kepala aku mengatur-aturstrategi supaya aku dapat memaksimakan peluang yang bergolek ini.

Junior semakin gelisah tersepit didalam seluar ketat. Aku menghentikan serangan dan mula membuka butang Levi's dan menurunkan zip seluar ku. Roy yang sedar tiadasebarang serangan membuka mata dan menolong aku membuka jeans yang aku pakai. Aku melingguk-linggukkan badan memudahkan seluar melurut kebawah. Tak puasdengan itu Roy menarik seluar dalam ku mengeluarkan junior.

Bagaikan spring junior melenting berdiri tegak di hadapan muka Roy. Roy tidak melengah lagi menangkap dan mula mengurut junior dengan tangan nya yang lembut. Topi keledar junior menjadi tersangat kilat disebabkan keadan nya yang seratus peratus tegang disamping terjerut tangan Roy yang mengegam erat pada pangkal junior. Kekadang jari-jari lentik Roy memulas-mulas lembut kepala takuk junior yang semakin licin lebih menyedapkan Rosli lagi. Ibu jari Roy kini mengusap sedikit lubang yang mengeluarkan air madzi sebagai pelincir guna membersihkan kepala takuk Rosli lalu memasukkan junior kedalam mulut.

Phuh keindahan yang tak terkata. Rosli semakin menyuakan junior buat Roy mengulum- ngulum dan menjilat-jilat bersih. Mulut Roy sibuk mengulum sementara lidahnyaberligar-ligar lembut membelai junior dari hujung dan bergerak kepangkal. Tangan Roy pula menguis-guis lembut kerandut kiwi fruit yang tergantung. Semua inimenyeronokkan Rosli lagi sehingga tak tertahan lalu mengarahkan Roy berhenti dengan menarik junior keluar dari mulut.

Rosli bingkas mula menurunkan zip uniform jururawat Roy dan melepaskan nya dari tubuh Roy yang mungil. Tubuh Roy sekarang hanya dielaputi pakaian dalam yang serbaputih. Menanadakan kesucian pekerjaan sebagai jururawat. Tetapi kesucian itu akantercemar sebentar lagi kerana gejolak nafsu yang tidak terkawal lagi. Tangan Roslisekarang lincah mengomol buah dada Roy yang terjongol keluar dari coli yang ditarik kebawah sedikit.

Puting susu yang kecil digintil-gintil sementara pangkal buah dada Roy diramas-ramaslembut. Ini membangkitkan nafsu kedua-dua pasangan Rosli dan Roy lagi. Tidak puasdengan itu Roy membuka colinya sendiri dan menyuakan buah dada yang sederhana besar tetapi mantap buat Rosli. Rosli menerima dengan membelai kedua buah dada

Puas dengan belaian pada buah dada jilatan Rosli turun melalui perut kebawah sehinggakepusat. Memberikan perhatian yang lebih sedikit, Rosli menjilat pada pusat Roy. LidahRosli seperti pada buah dada membuat lingkaran-lingkaran pada pusat Roy. Roymemejamkan mata menikmati belaian lidah lembut tak bertulang.

Jilatan terus berlaku mendekati seluar dalam kecil Roy. Walaupun segi tiga yang diidamkan belum kelihatan, aromanya telah munusuk hidung Rosli hasil dari cecair yang mula membasahi sedikit seluar dalam yang menutup syurga idaman lelaki. Rosli menarik turun penutup maruah yang penghabisan menampakkan kemaluan Roy yang indah, tembam disusuni bulu-bulu yang tumbuh teratur pada kulit yang putih. Tangan Rosli menggantikan lidah mengusap-usap menyikat-nyikat lembut bukit syurga idaman.

Puas dengan tindakkan itu Rosli mula mengangkat peha Roy melipatkan pada lutut danmembuka kangkang Roy menampakkan lembah yang telah dibanjiri air pekat bahan pelincir. Phuh nikmat yang tak terhingga yang tidak dapat di gambarkan. Rosli mulamenjilat lembah parit yang lecak tadi dari bawah keatas. Roy mula mengelepar sedikit dan mengerang,

"Li bestnya……." antara kedengaran dan tidak.

"Eeehhhhh…..eeehhhh…uuhhh….." menjungkit-jungkitkan punggung mengiringi rentaklidah yang masih melekat pada faraj.

Lidah yang menjilat-jilat lembah yang dipenuhi banjir kini meneroka jauh masukkedalam lubuk muntahan lahar lendir Roy. Erangan Roy semakinmenjadi dengan tusukkan lidah. Kini lidah itu beralih pula menjilat-jilat batu mutiara yang membuat Royterus mengelepar dan merapatkan kangkangannya, meyepit kepala Rosli yang terjerat.

Dengan nafas yang tak teratur Roy menarik wajah Rosli mendekati wajahnya. Meberikan ciuman dan mengatakan, "Li you are thebest…….."

"Come let me suck your pen… " jelas Roy lagi.

Rosli bingkas bangun dan menyuakan junior pada mulut Roy. Roy membelai junior dengan mulutnya lagi. Jilatan dan kuluman yang dibuat membuat junior tidak dapat menahan lagi lalu meledakkan air duit yang pekat masuk kedalam mulut Roy.

Roy bangun melarikan diri ke bilik air dan memuntahkan semula sperm yang dikulum tadi. Sekian. Nanti kan sambungan kitaorang repeat lagi…..

[kyriat-stories]

Noor felt gloomy and troubled the following days. It was like a cloud was over her head, or even inside her head. She didn't find joy in any of her everyday tasks. She tried to appear happy when she was around people, but Myrto saw through her.

- What is wrong, mother?

- Nothing! Noor answered a bit too quickly.

- You don't fool me mother. I can see that something is bothering you, and the fact that you don't share is worrying me. Are you sick or something?

- No, no. I'm fine! There is no need to worry Myrto.

- I don't believe you mother. I've never seen you like this before. I wish you would talk to me. I'm not a baby anymore, I can take it if something is wrong.

- I know sweetie, but there is nothing wrong. I assure you.

Myrto did not settle with that, and the next day she decided to talk with her aunt about it.

- It's fine that she don't want to talk with me, Myrto said, I'm just thirteen and there are things I don't understand, I realize that.

- I'm sure it's nothing, the last time I saw her she was fine?

- I don't know, thea Eira, but I can hear her crying in the bathroom, and I haven't heard my mother cry like that before. Ever! Can't you just talk to her?

- Crying in the bathroom? That doesn't sound like Noor. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen her for a couple of weeks, I've been so wrapped up in my own... eh... things.

- I don't like to tell about mother's private stuff, but I didn't know what to do!

- You were right to come to me Myrtaki mou, I'm family, and you can always tell me what's in your heart. Just tell your mother you ran in to me and that I want to go to the Agora with her tomorrow.

- Sister! Eira chirped, I'm so happy to see you! It's been too long!

- I was assuming you were busy with Kyrios Yousif and everything, and honestly I've been kind of busy too.

- Have you? Can't wait to hear about it! But let's find some shadow, it's much too hot today!

- Phuh, this was better, Eira said as they found a nice, cool place in the temple. Now, tell me, what's up?

- Up? Noor squirmed. Nothing special. Why do you ask?

- You said you had been busy?

- Yes, it's just a lot of garden work, and Mpatíni is not helping much, I think she is with child again. I don't know how that happened, because they still don't seem to talk to each other.

- And?

- "And" what? Oh I see. Have Myrto been talking with you?

- Well ..., now it was Eira turn to squirm. She might have mentioned that you were a bit weary.

- I'm fine! I don't understand what you guys are fussing about!

- We are not fussing Noor, we are just concerned. But if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I'm not going to force you to tell me. Just don't tell me nothing is wrong, because I know you too well to be fooled.

- I don't... Noor hesitated, Honestly? I don't know. I just realized that I'm not fulfilled. You know what I mean. Maybe your happiness, maybe watching how unhappy Teo and Mpatíni are, maybe because I'm growing older. I know something is missing, but I don't really know what I want. I have everything, don't I?

- Well I don't kno..

- My kids are fine, Noor cut her off, I'm fine, we have food on the table and there is peace in Manthos, what else could I possibly wish for??

- I think you need another baby. Maybe two!

- WHAT?! Are you mad? That's the last thing... Noor realized Eira was joking. Haha, you crazy woman! You almost had me there.

- Well, now we ruled out one thing you don't need to fulfill your life. What else? A prince on a white horse?

A shadow came over Noor's face.

- I don't have very good experiences with princes...

- Sorry Noor, I didn't think! Forgive me!

- Don't worry, it's fine. Or should I say "Check! Another thing I don't need in my life."

- Irrefutably!

- However. I might not turn down a strikingly handsome, romantic gentleman with good taste, that could rub my feet at night.

- Of course not! Hehe!

- But most of all I just need to express myself, I think. And I need to have you in my life. You mean so much to me, dear sister.

- I love you too dear. And jokes aside, it might just be menopause you know? They say you you can become a little crazy when your bleeding stops. And sad and tired. And hot! My goddess, maybe that's why I'm always hot! I thought it was the summer heat...

- Me too! Yes, you might be right. Anyway, I feel a bit better now, just from talking with you. But enough about about my problems! Let's indulge in some juicy gossip from the palace: Did you hear that they are forcing the young prince Linos to marry the Princess of Koiláda Chalkou? She must be our age, at least. She could be his mother!

- What? That's terrible! I can't believe those people!

- They have no moral! But we already knew that, didn't we?

.

Previous | Index | Character overview | Next

[incorrect-anything-quotes]

Daffy: HA! I jumped in front of your picture, now it's ruined!

Porky, holding a paintbrush: Daffy, this isn't a phuh-pheh-eeh-phuh-pheh-photograph, I'm not juh-jeh-eeh-juh-jeh-just gonna puh-peh-eeh-puh-peh-paint you in-

(Porky sees that Daffy's face is splattered all over the canvas)

Porky: AUGH!

[lordofthestrix]

IHLUHTS SUDTSLY,

D ZDTT NXR. SEH TSUDO NXR ELQH THYS DY NXRU TSHLI LUH L WXXU TRKTSDSRSH. ARJDHY'T JLZHULT JKRFES SEHZ FXDYF SEUXRFE ZN JAXSEHT. D IXRKS SELS NXR PXRAI LWWUXQH. WAHLTH JXZH LYI LIZXYDTE SEHZ DY WHUTXY.

D AXQH NXR.

LAPLNT.

LAA XG ZN AXQH,

UXUN

ZN KHAXQHI LRUXUL,

DS'T TSULYFH. EXP ILNT SELS PHUH AHGS TX EXAAXP LYI RYTLQXUN DY NXRU LKTHYJH JLY TSDAA KRUY DST FUHNT DYSX FAXUDXRT KALMHT LS SEH TDFES XG PUDSDYF SELS BYHP NXRU ELYI.

D SEDYB XYAN XG NXR LT HQHUN IHJDTDQH LJSDXY KUDYFT RT JAXTHU SX XRU XKCHJSDQHT EHUH LYI SX SEH HYI XG SEDT GXUSYDFES LWLUS. ZN NHLUYDYF GXU XRU UHRYDXY DT QXULJDXRT LYI D WALY SX IHQXRU SEH IHADFES XG HYIDYF XRU IDTSLYJH PDSE L FUHHI SELS IHGDHT IHTJUDWSDXY DY LYN JDWEHU NXR JXRAI PUDSH ZH DY.

SEH JUDZH NXR UHJXRYS DT DYIHHI PXUSEN XG XRU ULFH LYI SEH FLAAXPT. YXS TX JAHLU SX ZH DT SEH WHUWHSULSXU. KHGXUH IXRKSDYF ZN WHXWAH D GHHA YHJHTTLUN SX WXDYS XRS TRJE UHJXUIDYFT JLY KH ZLYDWRALSHI. ELTY'S SELS UHGRTH GUXZ XRU GDUTS EXZH KHJXZH L GUDHYI XG YHP SHJEYXAXFDHT LGSHU IHARIDYF EDZTHAG DYSX KHADHQDYF SELS SEUXPDYF GXUSRYHT DYSX SEH ELYIT XG TELUWHU ZHY SELY EH DT TDFYDGDHI EH JXRAI TELUH SEH ZHUDS XG SEHDU LJJXZWADTEZHYST?

KH DS LT DS ZLN WUXWHU WRYDTEZHYS PDAA KH IHADQHUHI SX SEH FRDASN.

GXUHQHU JLUUNDYF ZN AXQH GXU NXR PDSE ZH. SUDTSLY

@ladamedemartel

[harunrune]

+#Ē R€@L ĒM₱€₹07 HÁ®√π PHUH PIRUH RUNE 0F Briticanna W0$|=|¢Iπ∅

[kiu2-kiong]

3尾兔仔：我欲去，提你ê錢來分逐家

愛開足大ê氣力按耐性地，才有通平靜心情去寫論文。我確實m̄是研究ê料，寫評論有使性地ê空間，寫論文愛理性愛證據（張小虹彼款氣魄是奇才），寫kah人焦燥。

下晡心情無啥平靜，敢若一隻猴，為tio̍h莫寫論文，叫我做寫lóng願意。（kan-na修一个研討會論文討一个畢業資格就無甘願kah，好佳哉有通揀創作畢業，無研究所讀bē soah）收tio̍h中興湖小說入圍，親像亂跳ê心情就是等這。

看《讓子彈飛》片頭用馬搝ê火車頭，走tī鐵枝路，白hun m̄-sī蒸汽是火鍋phuh-hun非常魔幻，到片尾猶是仝款奢颺ê馬搝ê火車頭，官猶是官，韭菜猶是韭菜，無啥改變。做半套ê現代化。回想日本時代宣傳影片，烏頭火車誠實leh走。白合花〈早知莫投胎〉leh唱：「我欲去提你的錢來分逐家」，見擺聽mā想無按怎提你ê錢，原來這是左派重新分配資源ê概念，提黃四郎ê錢來分逐家。

[neroushalvaus]

Top 10 favourite characters from any fandom

I was tagged by @limalepakko , thank you! Since I have recently listed male characters here (or you know, in August, but we all know time hasn't been a thing for many moons), I took the liberty to list characters in general this time. I also went with which characters feel right at the moment, so does not show all my favourites. I also try to keep these short. (edit: okay so these are not remotely short, I will post a list first and have the explanations be under the cut, read if you want to hear my ramblings c': )

1. Fantine, Les Misérables 2. Javert / Jean Valjean, Les Misérables (yes i am cheating) 3. Carrie "Big Boo" Black, Orange Is the New Black 4. Jane Marple, Agatha Christie's Marple 5. Aunt Lydia, The Handmaid's Tale 6. Bridget Jones, Bridget Jones books & movies 7. Rock Lee, Naruto 8. Sarah O'Brien, Downton Abbey 9. Marilla Cuthbert, Anne of Green Gables / Anne with an E 10. Sister Monica Joan, Call the Midwife

*

1. Fantine, Les Misérables

I love Fantine with all my heart. I remember reading Les Mis for the first time and her story sending chills down my spine. Her character development makes me so sad, from a girl who falls hard and fast and won't deny anything from her lover, to a woman who is so beaten down by society that she can't do anything but laugh at her fate. But I love how she doesn't lose her pride or her fighting spirit and how she still has the guts to spit in Valjean's face when she sees him after being arrested. And I love how all she does is for her daughter and how despite selling "the gold on her head and the pearls in her mouth" she is content, because all that matters to her is that Cosette will live.

*

2. Javert & Jean Valjean, Les Misérables

I was really trying to limit this list to one character per fandom, but alas, I am but a weak little person. Thus, I am cheating already. The thing is that when it comes to Les Mis characters, Fantine, Javert and Valjean are the eternal top 3 for me, but I'm never quite able to say who I love the most. Last time I picked Javert for the male character meme because I love the symbolism and critique of society his character embodies, but let it be known that Jean Valjean is the best character in all of literature and I will fight you on this. The original soft on crime icon (aside from Jesus Christ but they're the same and you know it). Valjean's character journey is such a complicated one from an ordinary man (no worse than any man) to a person, who had been shaped by society and criminal justice system to be a very dangerous man, to someone you could compare to a saint if you wanted to... To an ordinary man, who would do anything for his daughter. He has so many character-defining moments, the biggest ones being in my opinion the trial of Champmathieu and letting Javert go instead of killing him. I just love Jean Valjean so much and could speak about him for hours.

*

3. Carrie "Big Boo" Black, Orange Is the New Black

Hopping away from the Les Mis hole and into a OITNB hole. I was debating on whether I'd put Boo or Pennsatucky on this list since I love them both so much, but I've been feeling so much love for my angry butch king that it had to be her. First of all, I'm just so happy to see butch lesbian representation where the butch identity is not just a joke. I know OITNB sometimes uses Boo questionably, but in general she is a nuanced character and one of the most interesting ones in the series in my opinion. I'm so sad they forgot all about her on the last seasons. I love everything about her, how she has trouble with feelings besides anger and often deflects serious stuff through humor, how fiercely protective she is of those she loves (boosatucky otp forever fucking fight me), how proud she is of her butch identity ("i refuse to be invisible")... Also, not to express attraction, but... Mama I'm in love with a criminal. And not to be a slut for how characters view religion/spirituality/God, but the relieved smile she has in one of her flashbacks when she says "there's no God... there's nothing", like you can't just do stuff like that and expect me not to love the character to bits.

*

4. Jane Marple, Agatha Christie's Marple

Last time I listed Poirot and was a bit frustrated I couldn't list Marple, but now it's time to right that wrong! I love this little old lady so much. I love Agatha Christie so much for just going "you know who is the person who knows everything that's going on in a community, and thus would make the perfect detective for a detective story? the nosy old woman". As she is introduced in The Murder at the Vicarage: "Miss Marple is a white-haired old lady with a gentle, appealing manner — Miss Weatherby is a mixture of vinegar and gush. Of the two Miss Marple is much more dangerous." She is so likable and witty, you can't help but love her. My favourite portrayal of her is by Geraldine McEwan, she looks so gentle but has such a sharp gaze. I would spill all my secrets to her any day. I also am compelled to tell you that when I was a child we had a costume party at my school and I dressed up as Marple and learned some old lady things in English (it was before third grade so I didn't know much English back then) just for the occasion (such as "thank you, my dear", "what a lovely necklace you are wearing" or "there has been a murder"). Teacher might have thought me rather morbid but I remember that day being quite good.

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5. Aunt Lydia, The Handmaid's Tale

The Handmaid's Tale is such a great series and a book and Aunt Lydia is such a great character. The way she's capable of being absolutely cruel and vicious, but how she is also protective and caring in her own way. One of my favourite scenes in this series is when Serena Joy (my other favourite, can you tell) tells Lydia to "remove the damaged ones" from a line of handmaids and Lydia tries to argue with her. Sure, she is responsible for some of the punishments these women are now "damaged" by, but she truly believes those punishments were for a greater good and now the handmaids deserve their place with the others as much as anyone else. It is chilling and the character is such a dark shade of morally gray, but I can't get enough of it. The actress who plays her, Ann Dowd, has so interesting thoughts about her, like here. I just love this character so much I could scream.

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6. Bridget Jones, Bridget Jones books & movies

I'm mostly talking about the movies here because Renée Zellweger's performance is iconic. Plus the movies are what made me love this character first. But I'll give it to the books, they're one of the few books I've laughed out loud while reading. Anyway, how do you even begin explaining the love I have for Bridget Jones... I love how she is a character so many people can relate but who would be a comic relief side character in some other story. Yes, yes, it is really bad that she is constantly described as fat when she really is not, but when I was growing up she gave me hope that people who are viewed as fat and/or unattractive by other people can be admired and appreciated, and they don't have to be super talented at everything and highly intelligent and some kind of a super smooth social butterfly to "make up" for what they "lack". And also that they can have standards (i once dodged a bullet by rejecting someone by pretty much subconsciously quoting Bridget Jones so..). I also love how the comedic tone of everything does not dismiss Bridget's feelings. For example in some other movie we maybe would concentrate on how "stupid" Bridget was to trust that Daniel was in love with her, but in Bridget Jones we concentrate on how Bridget was hurt by Daniel cheating on her, how he is the one who did wrong. Idk I just love Bridget Jones so very much can you tell.

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7. Rock Lee, Naruto

Aka the boy who would have kicked Madara in the balls if Kishimoto had any sense of drama and good storytelling. I think I robbed Lee by not putting him on the fav male characters list. You know that post that goes like "gays be like 'these are my comfort characters', 1 literal ray of sunshine, 2 war criminal" etc? This child is the sunshine. I've been reading and watching Naruto again ( @hapanmaitogai is my sideblog for that nonsense) and I'm so ready to adopt Lee and/or Gai. Rock Lee is just such an earnest character, he has a goal he will give anything to achieve and he's the one true underdog in this manga. I love how he's so kind and polite (it's not so clear in English but in the Finnish translation he speaks as formally as he does in Japanese, he uses singular polite "you", calls Sakura "Sakura-neiti" = "Miss Sakura" etc... i love one polite boy). Also, he has the best fights in the series. Like Lee vs Gaara is a Classic, but we simply can't forget that time Lee absolutely crushed Sasuke in just a few minutes, or that time he politely asked Kimimaro not to kill him while he drinks his medicine. The best boy. I love that boy so much.

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8. Sarah O'Brien, Downton Abbey

Last time it was Thomas' turn, so now I must talk about the snakiest snake, the queen of weaponized handmaidenry, Miss O'Brien. She is such a great character especially in the first two seasons (I obviously love her on season three as well but Julian Fellowes really tried to make it hard by not explaining her actions at all, didn't he. Well, luckily I am ready to stuff the gaps with my headcanons). She has some of the best comebacks in the series and brings some needed realism in some conversations. I also love how she uses her position as a lady's maid for her advantage and how she is proud of her profession despite being highly aware of the power structures in the Abbey. And then there is the soap. That is such a good character moment, because for a character who always plans ahead, who is ruthless and cunning and intelligent... I don't think O'Brien thought about the soap thing at all before she left the room ("Sarah O'Brien, this is not who you are" hit me like a train). Just once she did something with nothing but anger motivating her and that became one of the defining moments of her character. And one of the defining things of the future relationship between her and Cora. That's why I find the Sarah/Cora ship so interesting, because there will always be the undercurrent of bitter regret. Also Sarah O'Brien and Thomas Barrow are the greatest brotp and Fellowes was a coward for driving the smoking scheming gay best friends apart, and

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9. Marilla Cuthbert, Anne of Green Gables / Anne with an E

I'm not saying L.M. Montgomery is entirely responsible for me having a fondness for strict, older women who first act unkind but have a heart of gold, but she most certainly did not help. Between characters like Marilla Cuthbert and Elizabeth Murray, how can you not fall in love with the type? It's been a while since I read the Anne series, but I really love how Marilla's character has been adapted into the Anne with an E tv series. Geraldine James looks like she was born to play her, she has me in tears so often. She has the ability to portray someone like Marilla, who is a very hard and stern person but feels deeply for her loved ones. I was watching the episode that dealt with Matthew's heart attack and Marilla berating her brother while hugging herself like she was trying so hard to hold herself together absolutely destroyed my heart.

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10. Sister Monica Joan, Call the Midwife

It was a tough choice between her and Sister Evangelina. I just love these nuns very much. Sister Monica Joan is such a lovable and wise character. She is so knowledgeable of many subjects, from the Bible to astrology, and I feel like her unspecified memory problems and confusion are handled very tastefully. I also love how she's such an important part of her community despite not working as a midwife anymore. She is such a kind woman and gets visibly upset when others are treated poorly. And how could I not mention her saying "I do not believe in weeds. A weed is simply a flower that someone decides is in the wrong place", like... I love her so so much.

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I won't tag anyone, but if you read this and you want to do this, consider yourself tagged and you're no allowed to mark me as the one who tagged you!

[romqnticstylez]

bestie i’m a dumbass american idk what the fuck this means <3

LMAOSJDSHJH i didnt say anything actually i was just stuck in that keyboard and decided to not delete the tags after i got out of it

but the first one was me keysmashing and the second one i said 'wtf' lol

[my-relatable-hotchpotch]

I was sobbing uncontrollably over the song Eponine sings about Marius last night at 1:30 am (I wasn't actually listening to it I was just mumbling) and if that aint sleep deprivation at its finest I don't know what is

[pearlinmyhead]

On the authority of Abu Huraira (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), reported: The Messenger of Allah, (SAW), said, “You will not enter Paradise until you believe and you will not believe until you love each other. Shall I show you something that, if you did, you would love each other? Spread peace among yourselves.” (Sahih Bukhari)

[featherbraincd-aa-blog]

               he’s   watching   the   friend   requests   roll   in   by   the   dozen.     he   posted   his   switch   friend   code   on   his   instagram   and   now   he’s   entering   triple   digits.

[thesilverstreets]

BECAUSE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE!!!! you can only play the same number or symbol on each other or the same colour AND A +4≠+2 AND ALSO NOT THE SAME COLOUR AND THEYRE BOTH SPECIAL CARDS SO NO.

YOU CANT PLAY A +4 ON A +2!!!! ONLY IF YOUVE ALREADY TAKEN TWO CARDS!!!!! I REST MY CASE

WHY NOT