#philip hamilton smut

[astralaffairs]

put a ring on it 06

title: put a ring on it 06 pairing: philip hamilton x reader words: 15k warnings: gratuitous smut, daddy kink a/n: this is the last part! excepting maybe an epilogue. we'll see on that one. i hope you enjoy it, and it feels very strange for me to be finally finishing this after 6 years. desc: You’ve never liked Philip Hamilton, and you've always assumed the feeling has been mutual. But when you’re roped into pretending to be his girlfriend for a family reunion, you feel all your truths beginning to melt away and find them instead taking form in his smile. tags: @beepbeepstop @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @superbarriobrothers @tf2germanvillain @ela-ena @abundant-stars @heytheredee-lilah @katierpblogg @thisshitfucks @celyndavies @quixoticallydelusional @sothisishappiness @ems-alexandra @yxseminx @sadhwstudent @aiifandomsunite @loonaynay @valleryhyde @lxncelot @checkurwindow @katierpblogg @alievans007@nyxie75 @ii-moonlight-ii @sothisishappiness @ems-alexandra @elegantbutedgy @maxi-ride @moose-on-the-l00se @itshaileyn @someinsanefangirl @theirishhufflepuff @golddiggs-x @drreamhugs @sillyteecup @notebookgirl30 @marvelouslyemily @checkurwindow @kmsmedine 

“What do you mean, you kissed him?”

“I know.” You were in Philip’s room then, calling Patsy for the second time that afternoon. You cringed, pinching the bridge of your nose. As far as you were concerned, the world had been turned entirely on its head since you last spoke with her. “It just… I don’t know; it all happened so fast. I have so much to tell you.”

You recounted your conversation with Peggy, the debacle with your “engagement,” Philip’s reaction to it, and finally, when you found yourself alone with him up in his bedroom, holding him tightly, kissing him softly. It had been five hours since you last called her.

————

EARLIER

At first, he didn’t kiss you back.

When your lips met his, he froze — his embrace was tense, his body rigid against yours as he processed what you’d done, but it was within a moment that he was responding to your touch. He pulled you closer with the hand at the small of your back, and he held you gently, savoring the feeling of your body. That was when you realized what you’d done.

You pulled back abruptly when his tongue brushed against your lower lip, and your eyes were wide. Your words were caught in your throat; you were struggling to keep from choking on them as you pushed yourself off of him, scrambled off of his lap, and his hand was still hovering where your head had been, grasping at the cold air where your warm skin retreated from. His brow was furrowed as he watched you.

“I…” You trailed off, your attempts to speak coming out as stuttered, breathy syllables. “Fuck. I… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have… fuck.”

“Wait, Y/N, don’t—” But you were already standing, fixing your dress where it’d bunched up around your waist and making your way to the door. “Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, Philip, but I can’t…” You trailed off, trying to find the words, but you let out a frustrated huff, shaking your head as you left.

“Hey, c’mon, wait.” You were still scolding yourself as he went after you, followed you down the staircase. When you neared the bottom of the stairs, his family was hovering — not waiting for you, but within earshot. Philip grabbed you by the arm. “Let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about." His hold on your bicep was gentle, and you didn't struggle to pull away from his grip. You scoffed, cursing yourself inaudibly as you continued down.

“Y/N.” He had paused behind you, but when you didn’t stop, he sighed heavily, and his footsteps were hardly audible over the noise from his family as he hurried after you. He didn't take long to catch up to you, and your teeth clenched when he reached you, walking alongside you with a hand at the small of your back. "What the hell just happened?" he asked urgently.

"A mistake," you insisted, turning your head hardly enough so that he could hear you.

"Then why did you do it?"

You ignored him entirely as one of his relatives caught you by the arm, congratulating you in passing on your engagement, and you offered her a smile in return, squeezed her forearm affectionately. Philip was still staring down at you, visibly annoyed.

"Y'know, if we're gonna pull off this whole 'engaged' thing, you've gotta start acting more like my fiancé." You glanced back with an eyebrow raised.

He huffed. "Sorry if there's something else on my mind right now."

"Just don't let your family see," you told him in a sing-song voice as you caught sight of Georges approaching the pair of you.

“Hey, now there’s the happy couple.” His grin was broad as he approached the pair of you, and Philip forced a smile when Georges nudged his arm. “See, Will didn’t mess things up too bad for you. Everyone’s elated.”

You laughed, and you could only hope that he couldn’t tell that it was strained. “Thanks, Georges. Now we just have to worry about everyone nagging us to set a wedding date.”

“Oh, don’t sweat it. They’re just excited.” He raised an eyebrow, though, fixing his attention on Philip. “But I’m not gonna pretend not to be a little offended that someone hasn’t asked me to be his best man.”

“I’ll get around to it.” Despite his smile, the tension in Philip’s voice was obvious. Georges furrowed his brow.

“Is it really bothering you that much that William spilled?” he asked. “Listen, it was an accident, and—”

“I’m not mad at Will,” he cut Georges off abruptly, and you sighed. “But thanks for your concern.”

Georges pursed his lips, glancing between the two of you — apparently the pair of you weren’t playing off the events of the past few minutes as well as you would’ve hoped. After a moment of silence, Georges said, “Right. Anyway, uh, congrats, you two. I'm gonna go join Emilie outside; I guess I'll see you in a bit?"

"I, actually, am gonna go grab a jacket from my bag. It's gotten cooler out as it's gotten later." You were quick to respond, and Philip raised an eyebrow when you rested a hand on his arm, glanced to him with a strained smile. "But please, go ahead without me. I'll join you in a few."

"No, that's okay. I'll come back up with you." Philip's tone was firm, and you pressed your lips together. You were certain your discomfort was obvious, but you still had to keep up appearances.

"Really, I insist. I'll meet you back down here." Your bright smile didn't meet your eyes as you stared back up at Philip, daring him to turn this into a fight in front of Georges. He just watched you for a moment, eyeing the tension in your stare and the strain in your shoulders. Even your hand on his arm was shaky. He glanced back at Georges. He looked down at you.

"You sure that's what you want?"

"Just give me a minute. I'll be back."

He did not watch you as though he believed you'd be back in a minute. "Fine."

"Alright." Georges broke the standoff between you as he clapped a hand on Philip's shoulder, and the tension between you shattered at once as his focus was shifted. "Wanna grab some drinks? Cooler's on the porch."

Philip nodded before glancing back at you. “We’ll see you soon.”

————

That was the last thing he’d said to you before you shut yourself away in his room once more. You gave Patsy the play-by-play, and there was no doubt that you’d been gone more than just a minute.

"Holy Hell, Y/N. That… that's insane," she said, and you sighed. "Where are you now? Is everyone still around, or has most of his family gone home by now?"

"I'm in his room. A lot of them are still downstairs. I don’t have much time before someone comes looking for me, either — I told them all I was just up here getting a sweater."

"Why the hell are you in his room? Are you waiting for him?" she asked. "If you're calling me, are you sure you're ready to talk to him?"

"No, I know I'm not," you groaned. "But I don't have anywhere else to go. This is where I'm sleeping this weekend, so I don’t have any space to myself."

“Then you’d better figure something out fast.”

“I know, I know.” You sat down on the end of his bed with a huff. “But… I still don’t know how I feel about all this. Or how I feel about him. I don't know what I want."

“I think it's time to figure it out,” she said dryly. You didn’t respond, and after a moment, she asked, “Do you… regret kissing him?”

“I don’t know that, either,” you answered hesitantly.

“D’you regret running off after you kissed him?”

“God, no. I needed to — still need to — sort out how I was feeling.” You flopped onto your back on the bed as you spoke, holding your forehead. “I feel guilty about it, though. Philip obviously wanted to talk through what happened earlier, but I couldn't do it when my head was so scrambled."

"Y/N, for what it's worth, keep in mind that you called me earlier today in a panic because you thought you were crushing on him," she reminded you, "and now you kissed him. And he wants to talk to you about whatever’s going on between you. Do you really still not know what you want?"

"I…" Your voice faltered as you tried to reply. “I know what I’m feeling, but I don’t know what I want. I’m scared, Patsy. He was just trying to comfort me earlier; what if kissing him was totally out of line?”

“Did he kiss you back?”

You pursed your lips. “Yeah.”

“So then who broke it off?”

“...Me.”

“Are you fucking serious right now, Y/N?” You winced at the annoyance in Patsy’s tone. “It’s been, what, five hours since we talked? Earlier, you were telling me that you thought you were only there to make his ex jealous. Now you’re telling me that even after kissing him, having him kiss you back, and you having had to have been the one who broke it off, you still don’t think he wants you? You still don’t think that’s the entire reason you’re there this weekend?”

“I…” You swallowed. “I guess so.”

“That’s fucking stupid,” she snapped. “I told you earlier that you needed to talk to him about how you were feeling, and I’m gonna say the same thing now. Don’t call me back until you’ve communicated.”

“What? Patsy, I don’t—” Your jaw went slack when the dial tone sounded, signifying that the line had dropped. She’d really had the nerve to hang up on you. And after all you’d been through.

You threw your phone onto your bed with an angry huff, and you dropped your hands onto the mattress beside you, groaning loudly.

“So that’s the whole story.” A soft voice at the door to Philip’s bedroom interrupted your pouting, however — immediately, you were shooting back up to where you sat, propped on your hands with your eyes wide. It was his sister Angelica who stood in the doorway, watching you with her arms folded. “I should’ve known you were too good to be true.”

“Angelica,” you said breathlessly. You were frozen to the spot in which you sat. She sighed, walking into his room to join you on the end of his bed. “How much of that did you hear?”

“All of it,” she admitted. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when you started talking about how, as you put it, ‘all of this was a sham,’ I kind of couldn’t help myself.”

“Yeah,” you said softly. “I can’t blame you.”

“Can I join you?”

“Sure.” You shifted over, and Angelica took a seat beside you. “I’m guessing you want an explanation.”

“I wouldn’t mind one,” she replied quietly. You nodded.

You gave her the abbreviated version, the gentle one; it felt merciful to omit the parts about your long-standing feud with Philip.

“I’m just here doing him a favor,” you concluded weakly, and she pursed her lips.

“Still?”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I did hear that entire call,” she reminded you. Of course. “You kissed him, apparently."

"I…" You couldn't deny it. "Yeah, but… I don't know. It's complicated."

"It sounds complicated," she granted, "but I don't think you're just here doing him a favor anymore."

Your sigh was shaky. “I don’t know what you want me to say," you admitted.

"Do you care about Philip?"

"Of course." The question had you taken aback; your answer was a reflex.

"Then you should be downstairs talking to him instead of hiding up here making phone calls," she said bluntly, and your stare was bewildered. "The least you could do is have an adult conversation about what happened. Philip cares about you, y'know."

"What makes you say that?" The look Angelica gave you was disbelieving, but you didn’t think the question was out of left field. By then, it'd been reinforced by so many of his family members that you knew this was a common understanding, but you couldn't fathom why.

"We've been hearing about you in this house since you showed up as Philip's new coworker. At first it was just in passing as an update about what was going on in the office, that somebody new had joined his department, but you became a recurring character pretty quickly.” The day you’d started that job felt like a lifetime ago, both a different reality and a different version of you who’d walked into that office: recently widowed and sleepwalking through your daily life. Of course, at the time, Philip had known none of that. “I don’t know where this lie started, but Philip’s fond of you. He lights up when he’s talking about you.”

“I think he just finds me entertaining to torment,” you corrected her, but she shook her head.

“It’s always been more than that.” Her insistence was as though it were obvious, immediately apparent to everyone in his life other than you. “If you care about him at all, I think you owe him a conversation about all this.”

All you could do was nod. You wished she’d spare you the lecture, but she was right, even if you didn’t want to accept what that meant for you.

“You’re a good sister, y’know,” you said after a moment, and she smiled.

“Actually, I just like being privy to drama.”

————

You went down with her after that to find Philip — you didn’t yet know what you had to say to him, but you could at least afford him the reassurance that you weren’t avoiding him. After all, he’d done nothing wrong (if you could look past the years he’d spent spinning a lie about your workplace romance).

You found him settled in with Georges and Emilie in the midst of a heated debate over whether sushi is seafood, and he and Georges appeared to be getting worked up to a point where you couldn’t decipher which side either of them was on.

“Y/N, thank God, maybe you can settle this.” Georges was the first to notice your arrival, and your eyebrows shot up. Philip turned quickly upon hearing Georges address you.

“Hey, you came back.” Philip’s voice was soft, and you smiled as you met his eyes.

“Yeah, what did I miss?”

“Is sushi seafood?” Georges' loud voice broke any interaction you were having with Philip, and you raised your eyebrows as you looked over at him, pulling up a chair beside Philip.

“I mean, like, it doesn’t have to have fish in it. Can it be seafood if it's made without food from the sea?” you said.

“That’s what I’m saying,” an exasperated Philip piped up, and Georges groaned.

“Y’know, I hate that there’s someone here to take his side now,” he said seriously, shooting you an exhausted look. “You’re gonna be more trouble to my relationship with him than you’re worth.”

“I’m sure you must be devastated,” you replied dryly, but Emilie smiled.

“I’ve been needing someone to help me keep these two in check, so believe me when I say that I’m thrilled, at least,” she interjected. You still weren’t sure how to respond to people talking to you as if you were a new member of the family.

“Anyway, Philip, can we see your engagement ring now that the secret’s out? I just know it’s gonna be flashy,” Georges said, and Philip offered a weak smile.

“Nah, not right now.” He spared you a hesitant glance. “I don’t have it on me.”

“Where is it? You shouldn’t be leaving your engagement ring just anywhere; it’s too valuable for that.” There was concern in Emilie’s voice.

“It’s safe; don’t worry. We just packed the rings away before coming here,” he said. “I’ll show you both some other time.”

“C’mon, we wanna see it now,” Emilie said. “Can’t you just go get it? Is it upstairs with your bags?”

Philip sighed. “Emilie—”

"We'll go find it later tonight and bring it around tomorrow, alright?" you cut in, and Philip's eyebrows jumped.

"We will?"

You shrugged. "We may as well, if people are curious to see it. I think it's somewhere in one of my bags upstairs; it shouldn't take long to find."

"If you're sure," he acquiesced. You did have a ring for him, if nothing else; you just weren’t sure it would fit him.

By then, the sun was beginning to set, and you were glad that you grabbed yourself a sweater after all on your previous trip upstairs. As Philip and his friends sat and talked, you were content to mostly just listen — you didn’t have any input to offer on the stories from college you were sure they were lamenting for the thousandth time. Angelica joined you all not long after, bringing you a beer you didn’t ask for but, according to her, “you looked like you might need.” Georges and Emilie took the comment in jest, picking on Philip as your grateful gaze wandered back to Angelica. She winked.

Somewhere in the yard, one of Philip’s relatives had lit a bonfire, and after more of the family came outside, you found yourself migrating toward it with Philip in tow. He’d suggested the relocation, noticing your shivering. You’d acquiesced easily. That was how you found yourself beside him on a picnic blanket, melting into yourself where you sat with your knees folded up to your chest as fatigue ebbed at your body. Philip’s younger cousins were roasting marshmallows, and frankly, you would’ve been joining them if you had the energy. However, you were confident that you’d had a longer — and almost certainly more taxing — day than anyone around you, save for Philip. You glanced over at him.

He was watching Eliza Jr. with an amused grin as she tried to fit her small mouth around a s’more, covering the bottom half of her face in chocolate and marshmallow fluff in the process. More graham cracker was going to the grass below her than was staying in her hands, but she looked rather pleased with herself as she shuffled over toward you.

“D’you wanna come roast a marshmallow?” she asked, and it wasn’t until Philip turned to you with an eyebrow raised that you realized she was talking to you. It startled you when his eyes met yours, as though you thought he wouldn’t be able to see you watching him, and it seemed to surprise him nearly as much to see that you had been. Your face was hot when you turned to Eliza.

“I, um… I don’t think so. I’m getting tired, and you’re doing such a good job of it that I wouldn’t wanna take away from your fun.”

She frowned. Apparently your excuse wasn’t good enough for her, but she turned to Philip. “Do you wanna come roast a marshmallow?”

“Not this time, kiddo.” There was a trace of a laugh in his voice as he reached out to wipe a smear of melted chocolate from Eliza’s nose. “Be careful around that fire.”

“Can I roast you a marshmallow?” she asked, and you couldn’t help but smile. She was nothing if not persistent. Philip’s expression mirrored yours.

“I dunno; I think it would be wasted on me. I might head up to bed soon,” he said, and Eliza huffed. He glanced over at you. “You want one, though, princess?”

Eliza’s eyes were wide and hopeful as she looked at you, and you shrugged, your smile endeared. “Yeah, sure, I’ll take one. Thanks, Eliza.”

“You’re welcome. I’m gonna roast you the perfect marshmallow.” She started tottering off back toward the bag of marshmallows before she even finished her declaration, and it made you grin.

“Thanks for being a good sport.” Philip’s voice was soft, and it wasn’t until he spoke that you were quite aware of how close he was beside you. You turned to see him watching Eliza, leaned back on his hands with his legs outstretched on the blanket. “She loves when people let her make things for them. Inherited the family people-pleaser trait, I guess.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What, does it skip a generation?”

He laughed, and the sound was quiet and warm. “Man, can’t even go easy on me after the day you’ve put me through?”

His tone was light, but it held residual bitterness, and your smile faltered. You couldn’t blame him, but the tension in his jaw as the glow from the fire flickered across it had you on guard. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to ruin your weekend with your family.”

He turned his head, and you felt hyper-aware of every twitch of every muscle in your body as he looked over your apologetic expression. “Relax. I know,” he assured you after a moment, looking around at the group. “I can’t be mad, anyway. We both know I kinda bullied you into coming here with me.”

“You didn’t bully me into anything,” you replied, and he pursed his lips. You looked down at your hands. “If I was really that opposed to it, I would’ve just gone on the work trip. It’s not that big a deal.”

“But d’you still think this is the lesser of evils?” There was disbelief in his voice. “I’d guess that you also didn’t expect this weekend to get quite so stressful. I think we both just figured it’d be a funny story to tell when we get back.”

“I can’t deny that,” you admitted, glancing around at the group to determine whether you were within earshot of any of his relatives. “But tomorrow’s our last day here. We don’t have to do this for much longer.”

“And then we can go back to being office neighbors who torment each other on the daily?” he asked, and you huffed.

“Woah, you torment me, not the other way around,” you corrected him, and the look he gave you was skeptical.

“So then all the time you spend nitpicking my habits is just, what, collegial cohabitation?” he asked, and his disbelieving tone made you roll your eyes. “You’re more attentive to my ticks than even my mom's ever been.”

“Maybe if your ticks weren’t obstructing my work day I wouldn’t have to pay such close attention.”

“Please, I’m never in your way.”

“You borrow my pens and never give them back.”

“You steal the coffees that Theo brings me.”

“You don’t even pay for them.”

Your retort elicited a smug smile from him, and he shrugged. “I can’t always help being so charismatic, princess. I won’t apologize for the things people do for me because of my natural charm.”

“Natural charm,” you repeated skeptically. “We both know Theo just has a crush on you. It’s honestly getting to be mean the way you keep entertaining it.”

“Theo has a girlfriend,” he informed you, and your eyebrows shot up. You turned your head to look at him, and he eyed your stunned look with amusement. “I’m not leading her on. She runs the coffee shop around the corner from our office, which is why she always brings an extra latte to work. She doesn’t actually drink coffee, but apparently her girl likes making it for her.”

“You’re making that up,” you accused him, but he shook his head.

“You’d know this if you actually ever talked to her,” he said, and you frowned.

“I thought she didn’t like me. She never even says ‘good morning.’”

“She thinks the same about you,” he said, and as your pensive gaze wandered, he went on, “When you started at our office, all you seemed to want to do was put your head down and work. You didn’t give anyone the time of day. I think it just intimidated a lot of people.”

“Yeah, well, I’d recently had my life as I knew it blown to bits. It turns out work is a good distraction when you’re recently widowed.”

“I didn’t know that then,” he said softly, “but it does explain some things. I know I didn’t always treat you the best when you joined staff, and I’m sorry if it made all that harder.”

“Yeah, what was all that about?” Both your and his eyes followed Eliza Jr. across the yard as she stuffed her face with the marshmallow she’d purported to be roasting for you. “We got off to such a bad start, but upon further reflection, I’ve decided you’re not just an egoistic asshole, so what happened? Was it some weird office hazing?”

He sighed. “I just didn’t know what to do when you showed up. Some big shot up-and-comer out of Columbia giving me the silent treatment for eight hours a day. Some part of me figured you thought you were better than me, and another part of me thought you might be right about it.”

“Seriously?” Your brow was furrowed as you looked over at him. “It was the start of my second job out of college, and I was working ridiculously long hours because I was afraid of being alone with my thoughts.”

“Y’know that’s still why Susan pawns my workload off onto you?” he asked. “I thought you were trying to show me up, and she ended up convinced that you were just more reliable.”

“I should start slacking now that she’s stuck with me,” you mused, and he cracked a grin.

“Maybe I’ll finally go back to being top dog around our office then,” he quipped, but you couldn’t find much humor in it.

“So, what, you were just mean to me because you were afraid I’d upstage you? It was just some high-school mean-girl insecurity bullshit?”

“Honestly, it was more because I thought you didn’t like me,” he said. “You barely said a word to me, and when you did, it was usually criticism. You greeted me in the mornings by reminding me that I was late. I remember asking Georges for advice about you, and he told me that if I acted even colder, you’d warm up ‘cause you’d see I wasn’t messing around. I believed that for longer than I’m proud of.”

“That’s the advice Georges gave you?” There was disbelief in your voice, and he just nodded. “He mentioned when we were at his bar that he’d given you some bad advice when I joined our office. When he said that, I wasn’t imagining that he was the reason our working relationship was so bad from the get-go.”

“I took the advice, so I think I’m as much to blame,” he admitted, and you shrugged. “When I started bringing you coffee in the mornings a few weeks later, I was trying to make good ‘cause I realized it was only making things worse.”

“Then I just thought you were hitting on me.”

“I was.” Your eyes widened, but his tone was casual, and he chuckled. “I get in hindsight that it was in poor taste. I think I’m starting to see why you thought I was a nuisance for so long.”

“What d’you mean, ‘thought’?” Your words were sardonic, but he couldn’t take offense at the dry quip. Despite the amusement in his smile, he looked you over with disbelief.

“When are we gonna get past this whole routine of you pretending to hate me?” he asked. You weren’t sure you were comfortable with the audible sincerity in the question; you didn’t know how to answer it. “It’s been a weird day. We both know that. But I think we’re past the point where you can claim you don’t want anything to do with me.”

Your throat was tight, and you were afraid to speak. “We shouldn’t talk about this when your whole family’s around.”

“We’re out of earshot.”

“We should be cautious.”

“Or maybe we should just go up to bed,” he suggested. You swallowed. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” you acquiesced, your breathing shaky, “I guess it is.”

————

You lingered by the fire a bit longer before going upstairs. Eliza Jr. had made another round through the crowd, and she was giving out graham crackers as if she were bestowing awards (“it is an honor and a privilege,” she told you with no further explanation before repeating the same to Philip). You helped pack up the blankets that had been left as Philip’s younger siblings had gone one by one up to bed, and you wished Philip hadn’t been so quick to give you an extra set of hands. You’d have been lying if you said you didn’t offer to do it as a stalling tactic.

You walked together in silence back to the house and upstairs, and he took the blankets you carried to pack them into his family’s linen closet. As you returned to his room, you weren’t sure what to say. You sat on the side of his bed you’d been sleeping on and began to remove your earrings.

“So, that engagement ring you told Georges I have…” You glanced back at him with your eyebrows raised. He leaned back against his desk in the corner of his room, hands in his pockets. “Please tell me that wasn’t a bluff?”

You sighed. “No, no, I have my late husband’s. I didn’t think this through very far, so we’re just gonna have to hope it fits you.”

You withdrew the pendant of your necklace from beneath your dress, turning away from him as you looked down at yourself, but he was silent another moment. You pulled your hair aside and started fiddling with the chain’s clasp. After a moment, you huffed and glanced back at him. "Could I have a hand?"

He was watching you bewildered, and his expression made you furrow your brow. “What?”

“You sure you’re comfortable with me wearing your late husband’s ring?” His voice was soft, apprehensive, and you pursed your lips.

“It’s fine,” you said after a moment. Your voice lacked conviction, and when Philip knit his concerned brow, you gave him a weak smile. “I’m serious. He always loved a good con; he would’ve been in full support.”

“Of his wife loaning his ring out to some other guy?”

“Only as part of an elaborate hoax,” you said. He appeared tepid. “Are you helping me with the clasp or not?”

“...Yeah. Sure.” Though his words were hesitant, you turned back toward his nightstand where you sat, sweeping your hair back over one shoulder. You stood when he reached you, turned away from him, but you visibly flinched when his hands first brushed the back of your neck to take the clasp between his fingers. His movements stalled. “I can just tell my family my ring is being resized or something if this is all too much for you.”

He stood close behind you; though his voice was quiet, its low thrum felt heavy in the proximity. You shook your head.

“That’s okay. I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't alright with it," you assured him. When he didn’t answer, you turned your head to look back at him. His brow was furrowed. "I trust you with it, Philip. Just help me with the necklace, alright?"

"If you're sure." His voice was little more than a whisper, and his hands were gentle with the delicate chain you wore as you turned back around. A beat passed, and he let out a frustrated huff that tickled the hairs on your neck. You shivered. "This clasp doesn't wanna come quietly."

"You might have to wiggle it a bit if it's stuck. Don't worry about breaking it; it's strong."

"I'll do my best," he said. Another moment passed as you both waited patiently for the necklace to come undone, and you looked down at your feet.

"I really am sorry about today, y'know."

“Do you regret it?” His response was immediate, and as you felt the movement of his hands slow against the skin of your neck, your necklace going still, you were confident he was stalling.

“Which part?”

“You know which part.” The impatience in his voice made you sigh. “Do I really have to say it? Or can we finally stop pretending that things haven’t been weird between us all weekend?”

“It hasn’t been weird all weekend.”

“If everything was normal before that, why did you kiss me?”

The question was pointed and blunt, and you could feel your heart rate pick up. Philip slid your necklace off, taking both sides of it in one hand and reaching around you to set it on your (his) bedside table. You leaned away from him as he did so, giving him room to take a step toward the table, but when he did, he didn’t take a step back. He turned to you with his eyebrows raised, and your stomach turned as you found yourself trapped between him and the bed.

“Here, we should see if the ring fits,” you said, voice unsteady as you broke his gaze, reaching around him for the necklace.

“You’ve gotta stop deflecting,” he said impatiently, and you ignored it as you slid the ring off of the necklace’s chain.

“Gimme your hand; I need you to try it on.” You held the ring up to him between your trembling fingers. He eyed you with exasperation.

“Fine.” You inhaled sharply when his steady hand came to cover yours, holding it in the small space between you to still your grip on the ring, and he slid the ring finger of his other hand through it effortlessly. He barely spared it a glance as his tired stare bordered on irritation. “It fits.”

“Yeah.” The word in your anxious, high-pitched voice was barely a breath.

“Now answer me,” he said, raising his eyebrows expectantly. “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen.”

You couldn’t meet his eyes; your gaze was stuck on the perfect fit of the ring around his finger. “I…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know,” was all you could say at first. Your heart was in your throat; you were struggling to speak past it. “I shouldn’t have done it. I was just… I was sad, and you were comforting me, and this is the first time anyone’s felt like home since…” You trailed off with a tired huff, dropping his now ring-clad hand. “I can’t do this right now. It’s late, and I’m not thinking straight, and I don’t know what you want me to say.”

You pushed past him where he had you cornered, and although he didn’t try to stop you, he rolled his eyes. “You can’t keep using that excuse.”

You didn’t look back at him as you walked toward his bathroom, but his words made you frown. “When have I used that excuse?” you asked incredulously.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he postured, “maybe earlier after you kissed me? You’re messing with my head, Y/N, and it sucks.”

“Like you haven’t been messing with mine all weekend?” you shot back, turning on him furiously. “You wanna know why I kissed you? Well, I want to know why you asked me to come here in the first place.”

He raised an eyebrow. “We’ve covered this.”

“No, actually, I don’t know that we have,” you argued. “I poured my heart out to you about my late husband and gave you a full explanation for why I acted how I did when I joined our office, and you haven’t even explained why you needed a fake girlfriend in the first place.”

He sighed. “I just wanted my parents off my back. They were incessant when they thought I was single.”

“Then why didn’t you change your story once they started insisting you bring me home?” you asked. “You could’ve told them we broke up and that you weren’t back to dating yet. Or that you’d met someone else. But instead you blindly agreed to bring me here before you even knew whether I’d be willing to come.”

“I just wanted them to think I was in a stable relationship,” he defended. “I’m their oldest; I’m supposed to have my shit figured out by now. Nobody wants to hear that I’m all alone with no stable plan for my future. You don’t know how much time they spent trying to control my life when they thought I had my options open.”

“Then why me?” you pushed, and he raised an eyebrow. “Why not tell them it was a friend or someone you met on a dating app? What about Henriette? I’m sure she’d be more than happy to play the part of ‘doting girlfriend’ when your family’s around. The way she fawns over you, I’m surprised she didn’t come up with this story first.” Your tone was jeering, and Philip’s eyes were narrow as he looked you over. His jaw was tense, and you were confident you’d hit a sore spot.

“Henriette’s exactly the problem.” His voice was low, and the frustration in his tone made you raise an eyebrow. “Our relationship was terrible, but my entire family kept trying to push me to marry her. Nobody stopped for even a second to consider whether that was what I wanted.”

“Then grow up and tell them,” you bit back. “Even if they adored her, bursting their bubble about what kind of person she is would’ve still been easier than lying to them for two years about a fake relationship.”

“You don’t get it,” he maintained. “My father sees me as his legacy. He worked his whole life so I could settle down and start a family, and Henriette was his ticket to seeing grandkids. When we broke up, he barely talked to me for weeks. We only started talking again when I told my parents I’d found somebody else.”

“But why me?” you reiterated. “You couldn’t have thought that choosing me was going to make your life easier. When we first met, we barely spoke.”

He eyed you with his tongue burrowed into his cheek for a moment. “I did think it was gonna be an easy out.”

“And what the hell made you think that?”

“The office Christmas party,” he said. “That’s about when I told my family I was seeing someone new.”

You furrowed your brow. “What happened that night that made you decide to tell them that?”

“You really don’t remember?” He quirked a brow, and your expression must have been resolutely blank, because after a moment, he sighed, taking a seat back on the side of his bed. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew you were drinking that night, and I didn’t exactly get a warm welcome back into the office the next Monday.”

“What happened at the Christmas party?”

“It’s more what happened after we left the Christmas party,” he said, and you frowned.

“What does that mean?” you asked, and you narrowed your eyes as you considered the implication in his words. “I’m sorry, we didn’t hook up, did we?”

His eyes widened at the question, the alarm in your voice. “Jesus, no. You were drunk half out of your mind; what kind of person do you think I am?”

“Don’t act like it’s an insane question. Do you even hear yourself? ‘After we left the party’?” you echoed, and he pursed his lips. “You must know how that sounds.”

“Fine, that’s on me,” he admitted. “We didn’t ‘hook up,’ you dragged me out to, like, three different clubs. You were all over me that night. By the time I managed to get you home, you’d pulled my shirt off of my body so that you could wear it.”

“Oh, please, there’s no way I was ‘all over you,’” you scoffed, mocking his voice. “I do remember talking to you at the party, but the rest of this just sounds like revisionist history.”

“What else do you remember from that night?” he asked, and although his tone was accusatory, the question was sincere. “Anything past leaving the office? Do you even remember leaving?”

You pursed your lips as you considered the question; you didn’t want to admit the answer. “I do remember waking up in a shirt that wasn’t mine to credit card charges from bars in the area. I froze the card, though, ‘cause I thought they were fraud.”

The laugh he huffed out sounded vindicated. "There you go."

"But that doesn't prove any of what you're saying."

"Argue all you want, but this is how I remember it," he said, "I'm just trying to explain why I did what I did. I shouldn't have dragged you into all this, but it also wasn't a plot to make you miserable."

"And it didn't occur to you to just cut it when your dad started insisting you bring me home?"

"If I'd told him we broke up, he would've never believed me about anyone else I dated. I would’ve been expected to go back to Henriette." His gaze was low; you were struggling to stay mad as he explained himself. "They can’t stop talking about it while you’re here; imagine how bad it is when you’re not."

You didn’t respond at first; you couldn’t look at him as his words sat with you, and you couldn’t help but quietly resent everyone who’d told you to communicate with Philip. The silence was heavy, but it felt clear. You walked through Philip’s room back toward your suitcase, looking for something to sleep in.

“God, I feel pathetic,” you huffed quietly as you dug through your clothes. Everything had happened so fast, and you’d made so many assumptions, all of them now seemingly incorrect. “I thought this was all a ploy to make Henriette jealous. It somehow feels worse knowing that I’m actually here because you thought I was pining for you.”

“Hang on, that’s not what I said, either,” Philip defended, and you rolled your eyes.

“You can’t walk this one back after you just insisted that I was throwing myself at you at the office Christmas party,” you said. “Spare me the further humiliation.”

“In all fairness, you came onto me like three hours ago,” he pointed out, and when you turned to meet his eyes with a dead stare, you found him watching you with a small, playful smile. “C’mon, princess, don’t tell me the irony’s lost on you.”

“You didn’t exactly shut me down,” you reminded him pointedly, pajamas-in-hand as you stood.

“No, I didn’t.” You raised your eyebrows, and he shrugged, standing to join you at the end of the bed. “What? You want me to deny it?”

“No, I just… didn’t think you’d be so unapologetic about it.”

“I didn’t think you’d want me to apologize.” He folded his arms as he leaned against the bottom post of his bed. “I didn’t drag you into this lie ‘cause I thought you wanted me. You were all over me at that staff Christmas party, but that’s besides the point.”

"Then what… ?" You trailed off, unable to articulate exactly what it was you wanted to ask. You didn't know what to make of his words.

"I know you haven't missed my friends and family telling you how I talk about you. I've been calling home about you since you joined the office, and it's felt pathetic," he confessed, and the way he spoke so frankly put you on edge. You could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth to a point where you couldn't fathom that he meant what he seemed to. He eyed you hesitantly for a moment. "I felt so dumb doing that that part of me wants to let you keep feeling dumb here for a few more minutes."

"Classy," you commented, and when he laughed, you could feel your face warm.

"Can't help myself," he said. "You kept me sweating bullets all afternoon. I think it would be fair payback."

"That wasn't my greatest move.”

"It scared the shit out of me," he informed you, and you pursed your lips. "A lot’s happened this weekend, but I thought we were at a point where we could finally talk about it."

"I wasn't sure you'd think there was anything worth talking about." Your voice was small.

“Seriously?”

"I figured I was just here to make Henriette jealous. Anything between us was an afterthought.”

“You only met her earlier today. If my plan was just to make her jealous, what about the rest of the weekend?” Your breath stalled as you met his eyes; you were afraid to ask what he meant. You’d been reluctant to assign any meaning to the way he’d sought you out with his family around or the way he spoke to you when nobody was around to hear it. “Not much of the time we spent together was necessary to sell the story that we were dating.”

“We did a pretty good job selling it, though.”

“And then some.” You hadn’t forgotten the way you’d woken up in his arms every morning you spent at his house. You hadn’t missed his excitement for your road trip to his childhood home nor the care he took to make sure you were comfortable at his family dinner. You’d tried to ignore the little touches and passing glances all weekend, but apparently, he knew that you, too, had been keeping score of what was done in private that should have been for show. “I didn’t think I could be any clearer, to be honest. I figured you’d clocked it in the way I seek you out at work, all the time I spend hanging out at your desk.”

“I thought you just found it funny to rile me up.” You shrugged, refusing to acknowledge the heavy implication in his words. It had your heart rate rising; the hand that held your pajamas trembled.

“So you just thought I was an asshole?”

“...Kind of.” You swallowed, and your throat felt tight. He chuckled.

“Looks like Georges was right about me being tactless.”

You wore a small frown when you looked him in the eye, and his gaze was soft as he watched you. His words were heavy with meaning, but the air felt light — it was as though a haze was lifting and you were seeing him clearly for the first time. “What are you saying?”

His smile was melancholy. “You kissed me earlier today, and I thought it meant that something was different. You've gotta have some idea of where I’m coming from when I ask whether I was just in the right place at the right time.”

Your heart was in your throat; you raised your eyebrows. You were sure you looked dumbfounded, but all you felt was sick. “You…?”

“I already feel stupid; don't make me come right out and say it." He raked a hand through his hair as he sighed, and you could only watch him, stunned. "Did it… mean anything? Or were you just looking for comfort?"

Your voice was breathless and weak. “Can’t it be both?”

“That’s such a cop out,” he said, and you sighed.

“I don’t know anymore, Philip; you’ve taken care of me this weekend in a way I never imagined you could, and when everything came crashing down with the truth about my past, I was such a wreck, and it would've been so easy for you to be angry after I was so careless, but you were so gentle with me." You glanced down at the pajamas you were still holding, playing with the fabric between your fingers. You couldn't meet his eyes. "You've been better to me than I've deserved today, and that sucks, because I really had my heart set on hating you when we got back to town."

His smile was soft. “Sorry for making myself so hard to hate.”

“It’s been a real inconvenience.” Though your tone was lighthearted, your nervous gaze was heavy as you looked back at him.

“I think you’ll get over it.” He winked, and you could feel the heat rising from the nape of your neck to the tips of your ears. He looked you over, and a beat passed before he unfolded his arms and took a step toward you, hands in his pockets. “So what now, princess?”

His gaze was confident, expectant as he looked down at you; only the tiny crease in his brow betrayed any crack in his self-assured front. You, however, were a deer in headlights, frozen and sure that this was some kind of trap leading you to meet your maker.

“I don’t know.” You weren’t sure you could force the words from your tongue to form a real answer. You felt faint when he took another step toward you, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“You don’t hate me, apparently, but you’re giving me a whole lot of non-answers.”

“You’re not exactly asking easy questions,” you defended, and he smiled.

“Then let me give you something a little simpler.” Your breath caught when his stare flickered to your lips, lingering long enough that it was unmistakable. “If I tried to kiss you right now, would you stop me?”

Your eyes were wide as they met his, his confident gaze almost imposing in the proximity. But you didn’t move — you didn’t speak, you didn’t back away, and you certainly didn’t stop him. He took another step, and he reached out, brushed a hair away from your face. “Tell me this isn't what you want, and I won’t bring it up ever again.”

“Philip…” You trailed off when his fingertips brushed over the skin of your cheek, and when he closed the space between you, his hand fell to cup your face. The pajamas you held fell lamely from your limp grasp.

“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows, and the look in his eyes was expectant as he lifted your chin up toward him. “C’mon. It’s not like you to go all quiet on me. Where’d all those opinions of yours go?”

“I…” He was holding you at your cheek and your waist, pulling you into him, but your arms were still anchored to your sides. You knew what you wanted. But you didn’t know if you could bring yourself to reach out and grab it— no, grab him.

“Do you want this, or don’t you?” He combed a hand into your hair, his eyes following the motion, and his thumb swept down the side of your jaw. “Because, princess, trust me: I know what I want.”

Words were failing you. The silence between you stretched on, but he didn’t press any further; he waited, and his actions were patient. His hand slid from your waist to the small of your back. His eyes were fixed on your lips, so when you spoke, he couldn’t have missed it.

“Please…”

“Please?” he repeated.

“Please kiss me.” Your voice was no louder than a whisper, and after you said it, his smile widened, but it wasn’t smug. His gaze was soft.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

When he leaned down to kiss you, his lips were gentle, and your hands rose to rest on his chest as he pulled you close. Your eyes fluttered shut as your nose brushed against his, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling at the sound that escaped him when you pulled lightly on his hair. His hands settled low on your waist when you pulled him into yourself.

As you threaded a hand into his hair, the way he handled you grew needier; his grip on you tightened, and his mouth against yours became more insistent. His tongue was in your mouth; he held you by the nape of your neck, and you were doing all you could to keep up with him as his touch became sloppy. He pressed open mouthed kisses down your jawline, and you tilted your head back, enjoying the way his grip on you tightened and his hands migrated to your lower back.

You stumbled backwards as he leaned into you, sucking a hickey into the delicate skin of your neck, and though you knew you should’ve stopped him, you couldn’t bring yourself to. You’d deal with the consequences come morning. He hooked a hand under one of your thighs, pulling your leg up to his waist, and you wrapped it around him, pulling his body closer as he pushed you back against the bedroom wall. Your dress was riding up your thighs, but your exposed skin was hardly a fleeting thought as you pulled his head back up to kiss him on the mouth. That time, his lips were slower. After a long moment, he pulled back to look you in the eye.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” he said, voice breathless, brushing a hair off your forehead, and your chest was heaving.

“Then don’t stop there.” You looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes, and his eyebrows jumped. His hand fell to the side of your head, his thumb brushing over the skin under your ear.

“Really?” Despite the surprise in his voice, he looked far from upset, and you shrugged.

“I mean, as long as you’re amenable,” you said softly, and the tension in his raised eyebrows made you hesitate. “You do want me, don’t you?”

“I do,” he said, but something in his words was tentative, and it made you frown.

“But?” you prodded, and he sighed.

“I need to know if this is a one time thing.” Your eyebrows shot up, and he was quick to continue, “It’s fine if that’s all you want. But I’d rather get on the same page beforehand.”

“I don’t want it to be,” you said. “I don’t know what that means for us going forward, but I don’t want this to be just tonight.”

“First clear answer I’ve gotten today,” he said softly as he leaned in to kiss you once more, and you rolled your eyes. He kissed you hard, shamelessly as you ran your fingers through his hair, and you smiled against his lips. His tongue brushed against yours when his hand ran up your thigh, pushing your dress with it until his fingertips met the lacy material of your panties; though he slid his fingers under their hem, moving toward your inner thigh, his confident lips faltered against yours when you shivered under his touch.

“Can I?” he whispered into your open mouth, and your hand came down to cover his as you sucked softly on his bottom lip. You moved his hand to your center, and you could feel his breath as he inhaled sharply. You released his lip from between yours.

“Please.”

That was all he needed to hear; he ran his hand over your clothed slit, and you tensed, arching against him as your hand ran up his arm. Your breathing was labored when his fingers breached the hem of your panties, and you froze as the fabric pulled at your hips. You squeezed his bicep when his fingertips dipped between your lips, and you dropped your head back against the wall behind you.

“You’re so wet already,” he murmured as he kissed the side of your head.

“I’ve been thinking about having your hands on me for the past hour,” you confessed, and he chuckled.

“The feeling’s mutual.” His slick fingertips circled your clit, and your hips lurched, chasing the feeling of his skin. He only drew back a touch, but the loss of the feeling drew a whimper from your pouted lips, and you rolled your hips down against his hand as you tightened your leg around his waist, pulling him closer. You felt him grin, lips brushing against your ear. “God, you’re needy.”

"Because I need you," you pleaded. "Touch me properly."

“Gladly.” You tensed involuntarily when he rolled your clit against the soft skin of his middle finger, and your breath was caught in your throat, your jaw tight. His touch was alight, and you bit your lip as your hips lurched. “You like that?”

“Mhm.”

“Talk to me, princess. Use your words.” His fingers slid down to your dripping pussy, and you whimpered, tightening your hold on his neck, gripping the collar of his shirt. When he slid two fingers inside you, you gasped, rolling your hips against his hand.

“Fuck,” you breathed as he started thrusting his fingers inside you, and he nipped the skin of your jaw. His other hand lifted the skirt of your dress from your other side, settling at your waist, and as you tried to grind down on him, he pinned your hips back against the wall. “Philip, harder, please.”

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, and when his fingers hit you deeper, his palm struck your clit, and you cried out, scrabbling for purchase on the fabric of his shirt. He pushed another finger inside you without notice, and your moan was stuttered, the stretch just a shadow of a burn as he curled them against your walls; you could feel your knees going weak under your shuddering body. “Just let it out for me.”

And that was all you could do. His hand sped up against you, and one of your hands ran up the back of his neck as the other knitted itself into the front of his shirt; his smile was smug as you frantically grabbed at him. Your whimpers were weak when Philip pressed his fingertips against the front of your walls, and he felt you clench down against him.

“Right there,” you whined.

“Right here?” He did it harder, more intentionally that time, and your thighs trembled, you bit your lower lip. You nodded deliriously.

“Yes,” you moaned as his thrusts grew quicker and more forceful. The only things keeping your spent body upright were his hands under your hips and your grip on his shoulders; your cries were growing louder. “Oh, God; oh, fuck.”

“Shh, princess, we’ve got my family next door,” he chastised you, but the smile in his voice was distinct. Your groan was muffled through pursed lips. “You don’t want to ruin their impression of you as such a sweet, wholesome girl, do you?”

You shook your head frantically, pressing your lips together, but— “I’m so close.”

“Yeah? You’re gonna come for me?” He pressed the heel of his hand down against your clit, and your mouth fell open in a silent whine, brow knit. “Come on. Let me have it.”

Your nails were digging into the skin of his back through his thin button-down as pressure built in your groin, but he didn’t seem to mind. Your leg around him was a vice, and your hips jerked helplessly against the hand he used to pin you against the wall; the stretch of his three fingers inside you was dizzying, and you were struggling to form words, overwhelmed by the sensation as you approached your peak.

You came with a shriek, and his lips met yours, muffling the sound as he worked you through your orgasm. He released your hip to pin you against the wall by the neck. His tongue was in your mouth; your whimpers were close to cries as he fucked you with his fingers, and his hand only slowed against you when you went limp in his grasp.

“Holy shit.” Your eyes fell shut as you leaned back against the wall, and Philip kissed down your neck as he withdrew his hand from you, instead pushing your dress up to your waist.

“Take this off,” he muttered against your skin. You didn’t respond, chest heaving as you caught your breath, but you helped him lift the dress up over your head, leaving you only in underwear as you fixed the hair it ruffled. He tossed the garment aside. While your arms returned to his shoulders, he held you back by the waist for a moment, making your eyebrows jump. His gaze roamed your figure while he took a step toward you, and your breath was caught as his hands ran down your hips, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You shivered. “You’re stunning.”

Your smile was self-conscious as he pulled you close, tilted your face up toward his with his fingers under your chin, and he kissed you softly. His hands settled atop the swell of your ass, and when he pulled you against him, his erection pressed against your lower stomach through the fabric of his pants, drawing a gasp from your lips against his. He smiled when you rolled your hips up against his, pushing him back toward his bed. You kissed him hard, undoing the buttons on his shirt, and he laughed as he stumbled backward.

“Easy there.” As he bumped into the end of the mattress, he stilled you by the waist, and his hands ran up your back to unhook your bra. He slid the straps down your arms. “I’m not going anywhere, princess.”

“I’m allowed to be impatient when I look like this and you’re still fully dressed.” You gave him a pointed look as you discarded your bra, and he grinned.

“In all fairness, you look good like this.”

“Shut up, Hamilton.” You could feel his smile against your lips when you kissed him, finished unbuttoning his shirt, and he sat back onto the foot of the bed as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders. You climbed onto his lap without hesitation, and he pulled you close with a firm grip on your thighs as your arms hung loosely around his neck. When your lips again met his, it was slower; your hands moved to his body, his bare torso and his warm skin, and ultimately to his belt buckle.

You kissed down the side of his neck as your hands traveled south, and he squeezed your ass when you latched onto the skin below his ear, sucking a deep purple bruise into the tender space.

“Marking your territory?” he asked between heavy breaths as you pulled the tail of his belt out from its buckle. You smiled.

“Trying to make sure Henriette gets that you've moved on.” You undid the button on the top of his pants and unzipped them, dragging your fingers over his bulge as you did so, and he let out a ragged breath.

“Don't tease me.” His voice was rough as he lifted your face by the chin, and you looked up at him with wide eyes to see his weary expression. You traced your fingers over the outline of his dick in his boxers.

“Or what?” you asked softly, tilting your head as you watched his chest heave. His thumb ran across your jaw, and his gaze was fixed on your lips.

“Or I won’t invite you to the Hamilton Thanksgiving?” His tone was mild, and your scandalized gasp was weak.

“Oh, you wouldn’t dare.”

“I know, I’m really cruel, huh?”

“I don’t know how I’m gonna handle it.” The final few words were murmured against his lips as he leaned in to kiss you once more, but you pulled back a moment later as you pushed yourself off the edge of the bed to stand and lowered yourself to your knees. You tugged his pants down with you, looking up at him as you reached for the waistband of his boxers. “Can I?”

“By all means.” He sounded winded as you pulled his underwear down over his hard cock, and you leaned in to kiss his stomach, running your hands up his thighs as you settled between his legs. His breathing was heavy as you ghosted a finger up to the tip of his hard cock. His hips jerked forward the moment your lips touched the head, and you pulled back with a soft laugh.

“You’re so needy.” He didn’t seem to have much patience for your playful gaze as you took his dick in one hand.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve,” he said.

“What are you gonna do about it?”

He sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Do you want me to do something about it?”

“Wouldn’t mind it.” You took his dick fully in your mouth, then, hollowing your cheeks as you brought it to the back of your tongue, and he groaned, a hand flying to your hair. You pulled back to spit on it, pumping it in your hand. “Do you have it in you?”

You ran your tongue up the underside of his cock before taking it as deep as you could, gagging as you massaged the base. Philip’s moan was gratifying as he weaved a hand into your hair, grasping it by the roots, and you looked up at him with wide eyes when his grip went firm. He gently pushed your head down further after you bobbed back up, making you choke. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. He held you there a moment, but when you came back up for air, you went back down on him almost immediately. He grunted as you tried to take him deeper, coming up to trace your tongue over the head of his cock. You sucked it gently, lowering your mouth on him slowly, and when you reached down to cup his balls, his hips lurched forward. You gagged when his cock hit the back of your throat.

“Shit, sorry—”

You pulled back with a cough, spit dripping down your chin as you looked up at him with wet eyes. “I don't mind.”

His eyebrows jumped. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You guided the hand he'd begun to withdraw back to your hair. “Go ahead.”

“You want me to fuck your throat, princess?” He pulled your hair back by the roots, forcing you to look up at him. The corners of his lips quirked up. “C'mon. Say it.”

“Fuck. Yeah, I do.” You leaned into his touch, pumping his dick in your fist. “Please, Philip.”

“Alright, just be good for me then.” When you took his cock back between your lips, flattening your tongue against the underside, he pulled you down on it firmly that time, holding you in place when you started to choke. “You can take it.”

Your brow was creased as you looked up at him, and when he thrusted gently into your throat, prodding your gag reflex, you had to remind yourself to breathe through your nose. Your lips touched where your hand had been working the base of his cock when he pushed his hips forward, and he pulled you back to move your hand, interlacing your fingers with those of his free hand where it rested on his thigh. “Come on. Take it all. You're doing so good.”

His gentle tone contradicted the force that was growing behind his thrusts, making you tear up as he abused the back of your throat. His grip on your hair was tight then, and he squeezed your hand in his.

It was only a moment later that he pushed you down to the base of his cock, and he groaned at your throat convulsing around him, rejecting the intrusion. He pulled you back up for air.

“You okay?” You only nodded as you wrapped your lips around his dick once more, going as far as you could without him forcing you, and his soft grunts were encouragement enough. “Fuck, princess. You're so good.”

Your eyes fell shut, preening at the praise and trying to focus on your breathing as he rolled his hips into your mouth. You looked up at him when his thrusts grew quicker, his breathing heavier, and you squeezed his hand in yours. Your other hand came up to roll his balls between your fingers, and he moaned.

His hips stilled a moment later, his body going rigid, and when you kept bobbing your head, he had to pull you back.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

Although your chest was heaving as you tried to catch your breath, you managed a weak, “What?”

He inhaled slowly. “That's too fucking good. I don't wanna come like that, though; I wanna fuck you properly.”

Your smile was smug, but your voice was hoarse when you responded, “Aw, you're struggling not to come already?”

You gasped at his sharp tug on your hair. His gaze was entertained. “Play nice if you still want anything more from me.”

He raised his eyebrows expectantly, but you weren't fazed. “What, you don't wanna fuck me anymore? You haven't even come.”

“Maybe I will come down your throat, then. I've been trying to shut your smart mouth up for years.”

Your pout as you blinked back the tears from him fucking your throat made him smile. “Please don't tease.”

“You've already come. What makes you think you deserve to get fucked?”

“I'll be so good.” Your strained plea didn't budge his expression, and you eyed his amused look. “And you know how long you've wanted this for. Me on my knees, begging you to fuck me. Why would you keep both of us from getting what we want?”

His tongue was burrowed into his cheek as he eyed you for another moment, reaching down to wipe the tears and smeared mascara from your cheeks. “Fuck. Yeah, alright, c’mere.”

You smiled as you stood, and he pulled you up toward him with the hand on his thigh. He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you onto his lap, and you leaned in to kiss him once more, softer that time. He had a different agenda. As you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his hand was at your neck and his tongue pushing its way into your mouth, and you moaned against him, grinding down against his dick.

“You're so gorgeous.” The heat of his breath was in your mouth. You tugged at his bottom lip with your teeth.

It was sudden when he stood, picking you up with him by the thighs, and you yelped, clinging to his shoulders. The sound made him laugh as he pulled back, his nose resting against the side of yours. “Relax, princess, I've got you.”

“You've gotta stop calling me that,” you murmured against his cheek, and he bit your lip playfully.

“Don't hold your breath.” He stepped out of the pants that hung around his ankles as he brought you around to the side of the bed, and when he laid you down beneath him, it was careful, and he kissed your neck as he laid your head back.

You tried to pull him back onto the bed with you with your hands at his shoulders, and you pushed yourself further onto the mattress with your feet. “Come here.”

Ever obliging, he followed, kneeling above you as you pulled yourself up to kiss him once more. His mouth dropped to your neck as his hands ran down to your hips, tugging at the band of your underwear.

“Can I take these off?” he whispered.

“D’you have a condom?”

“Yeah, hang on.” He kissed your shoulder before he rolled off of you to stand. He grabbed his wallet from the bedside table and withdrew the foil packed from its inner pocket, and you raised your eyebrows.

“You've just been carrying that around?”

“I've carried a condom in my wallet since I was sixteen.” He tore open the packet, withdrawing the condom and rolling it down his hard cock.

“Hope it's not expired since you haven't had a chance to use it yet.”

He looked down with an eyebrow cocked at your self-satisfied smile. “Do you want me to fuck you or not?”

You shrugged. “Still considering it.”

“You're such a pain in my ass.” His voice held no ire as he grabbed you by the ankles and yanked you toward him on the bed, and you squealed. He leaned down to take the fabric of your underwear between his fingers, pulling it down your legs, and you bent your knees for him to pull it over your feet. He took you by the thighs, then, parting them for himself and settling between them on the mattress as he pushed you back to where you'd been.

Your breathing was quick as he leaned over you, pulling one of your legs up to his hip, and you gasped when the tip of his cock ran up your soaked pussy. His other hand landed on the mattress beside your head, holding him up above you.

He furrowed his brow as he looked into your wide, nervous eyes. “You're sure you want this?”

“Please.” You ground your hips up against the shaft of his dick, and you flinched when it brushed against your clit. “Wanna feel you inside me. Come on.”

“Okay,” he said, voice breathy as he reached down to line his dick up with your entrance. Your stomach turned when you felt his tip against you, pushing firmly inside, and it didn't take long for it to start to burn.

“Wait, wait, go slow.” You scrambled for purchase in the sheets, ultimately pushing yourself up onto your elbow and holding him by the chest. “You're too big. I need a second.”

“Hey, relax.” He held your hand that laid on his chest. Your eyes were wide as you looked up at him. “It's okay. Do you want me to stop?”

“No, no, just…” You swallowed. “Be gentle at first? Please?”

“Of course.” He leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. “Just lay down. I'll take care of you.”

You did so hesitantly, and he followed you back down to the mattress, his hand on your hip and his lips on your neck. The second push of his hips against yours made you groan, his dick pushing further inside of you, and he fell into a rhythm rolling his hips down as he eased you open.

“There you go. Good girl,” he whispered at his final shallow thrust, bottoming out. You whimpered as he ground his hips gently against yours. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Your voice was barely a breath. “You can move. I'm okay.”

“Okay princess. Lemme go slow.” One of his hands ran up the bottom of your thigh, bending it for him and spreading you wider as he pulled back. His first few thrusts hurt, stretching you slowly open, and you could only groan into his shoulder atop you, but as he fell into a rhythm, you could feel yourself begin to relax.

“Fuck, yeah, just like that,” you said softly as you arched against him, letting your head fall flat against the bed.

“Yeah?” He thrusted his hips harder against yours in a way that made your eyes widen. He ran a hand up the back of your leg, spreading you wider for him as he increased his pace. “Yeah? Like that? You like that?”

“Oh, shit,” you groaned, “I need more. I need you to fuck me harder.”

“And I need you,” —he grabbed you by the jaw, turning your head to look him in the eye— “to be quieter.”

“You're still thinking about your parents next door?” Your words were jeering. “At a time like this?”

“Well, now I'm thinking a little less considerately.” His hand dropped to your neck, and your eyebrows jumped. “You promised you'd be good for me.”

“I think I'm just the picture of decorum.”

“Uh huh.” He leaned into you as he slowed down. “It's alright. You will be.”

“Wait, please, harder,” you whined, eyes falling shut. He stilled inside you, watching you expectantly. “Philip. Please don't stop.”

“What'll you do for it?” He kissed you softly with a smile, running his thumb along your jaw.

“Fuck. Anything. Please.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Call me daddy.” Your eyes flew open, but his grin was easy as his hand left your next to rest on the mattress beside you. “Come on. We both saw how you reacted to the jokes I've made about it. I might've been a little stupid this weekend, but I'm not dumb.”

“That doesn't even make sense.”

“You know what I'm saying, though. Don't you?” He kissed your jaw. “Tell me that doesn't get you off, and I'll leave it alone.”

“Philip,” you whined. “Just want you to fuck me.”

“Gladly. Just say the word.”

“I don’t…” You clearly had every intention of defending yourself, but as he raised his eyebrows, he could feel your pussy tighten around him. “Please. I need you.”

“Please what?”

He smoothed your hair back away from your face as he watched you, and you swallowed hard. “Please, daddy.”

Your voice was hardly audible, but it made him smile as he ground his hips down against yours. “Say again? I can't even hear you; you're mumbling.”

“Come on,” you pouted. “You promised.”

“I want to hear it. Say it like you mean it.” He'd returned to thrusting shallowly in you, then, but only slowly. It was barely enough stimulation to tease.

“Fuck me harder. Please.”

“Are you really gonna make me ask you again?” Philip lifted your head with a hand beneath your chin to look at him. His pupils were blown wide. Between the way he felt, stretching you wide, and the way your skin rippled under his fingers on his neck, soft but firm, there's little he could've asked for that you wouldn't have done.

“Please, daddy,” you finally said. “I want you to fuck me. Properly. Like you mean it.”

“Oh yeah?” He sped up the roll of his hips against yours, his grin widening as he dropped his head to rest against your skin. “How properly? Hm? You want me to ruin you?”

“Yes, fuck, please,” you moaned, and he moved the hand on your neck to rest against the mattress, holding him up above you. “Please, please, please.”

He didn't respond, only pushing your thigh in his hand further against your chest as he lifted himself onto his knees. As he leaned over you, his grip on your leg lifted your hips into the air, driving your upper back into the mattress as he thrust harder into you.

“Shit, you're so tight,” he huffed, “that feels damn good.”

His words made you groan, and he pulled back fully onto his knees, holding you against him by the hips for leverage. Your grip twisted into his bedsheets as his back hovered out of reach, and you rolled your hips against him, meeting his thrusts as you arched your back.

“I don't know how long I'm gonna last.” His words were breathy. “You feel too good. Want you to cum for me first, though. What do you need for that, princess?”

“Touch me, daddy,” you pleaded, and he groaned, driving into you harder. His grip tightened in one hand, but the other released your hip to find your clit, circling it softly.

“Here?” he asked. “This good for you?”

“Yeah,” you moaned. “So good.”

Your hips jerked and your legs trembled at the dual stimulation, and it wasn't long before you found yourself close to orgasm, worked up from how overwhelmed you were. When you clenched down on him, he could feel it.

“Shit, you close?” he asked, and you nodded.

“Don't stop.”

“Never.” His thrusts into you slowed down only slightly so he could fuck you harder, your entire body jostled by the force, and your legs tensed as you finally reached your peak. You came with a gasp, and he didn't stop fingerings you, working your clit through the orgasm.

It was only when you found yourself too sensitive, jerking away from his touch, that he slowed down.

“You okay?” he murmured, thrusting gently into you. You nodded. “Can you keep going?”

“Please. I want you to cum. Want you to feel good.”

“Shit, okay.” His hand that was fingering you had been on your lower stomach, but it moved to your other thigh so he was holding you by the legs, pressing them into your chest. When he picked back up his pace, his grip tightened, and your mouth fell open in a silent whine. “Fuck. Yeah. You're so tight. You like that?”

“Mhm.” Your response came out a whimper as you sank your grip into the bedsheets, and you barely registered your fingernails digging into your palms.

He groaned. “Oh, God, I'm gonna cum.”

“Cum in me,” you pleaded, rolling your hips pathetically up against his. His thrusts were growing sloppy and frantic. “Cum for me.”

“Shit.” He came with a gasp, and although his grip tensed on your thighs for a moment, you barely had time to wince before he was releasing them, dropping them gently to the mattress before leaning over you to kiss you. “You okay?” he whispered against your lips.

“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, and he pulled back enough to look you in the eye, smoothing your hair away from your face.

“Yeah?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pulled him down to kiss you again. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” He dipped down to kiss your jaw as he slowly pulled out, and your arms were limp on his shoulders as you caught your breath. “That was… I… well, fuck.” His voice was ragged as he rested his forehead on your shoulder, both your bodies damp with sweat. You had his hair between your fingers, fingertips tracing his scalp, and you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at his declaration.

“Exactly what I was thinking,” you murmured, and he chuckled as he lifted his head to kiss you on the mouth, leaning on his arm beside your head. He brushed a hair out of your face, hand coming down to hold you by the nape of your neck as his thumb ghosted over the bottom of your cheek. When he pulled back, he eyed your features thoughtlessly, gaze never leaving your face, and you squirmed under his scrutiny despite his soft smile.

“You’re staring.”

“Let me keep this moment for a few more seconds.”

You scoffed. “My hair is in knots and there’s mascara running halfway down my face. I’m not exactly a vision right now.”

He creased his brow when he looked you in the eye. “You have no idea how stunning you are, do you?”

You smiled timidly. “I won't turn down the reminder."

He grinned as he dipped down to kiss you softly once more. "I'm happy to let you know, princess." He rolled off of you and sat up to take off his condom, tying it off before discarding it in the trash. Your eyes ran over his toned back as he did so, watching the low light dip and swim in the clefts between his muscles, and he glanced back over his shoulder at you as you pulled yourself up to sit at his headboard. He raised an eyebrow when he saw you watching him. "What?"

"This still feels surreal," you said quietly, and he didn't respond as he came to sit beside you, waiting for you to go on. "Three days ago, we barely spoke. This isn't how I expected this weekend to end."

"That makes two of us." He glanced down at you, eyeing your pensive expression. "Even my most optimistic imagination was that we would come back friends."

"This never crossed your mind?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that, exactly." His playful grin made you roll your eyes. "What, like you never thought about it?"

"Only in moments of weakness," you defended, and he quirked a brow.

"'Moments of weakness'?" he repeated. "What does that mean? Late nights at the office when we're the only ones around? When I take off my jackets and you see a little too much skin?"

"When Susan's getting a little too handsy," you corrected him, and he grinned. "I wish she wouldn't do it in the middle of shared spaces, though, because God does that woman know how to paint a picture."

"Now I might actually have a good reason to cut her off," he said. "I wouldn't wanna make anybody jealous. That sounds like a bad way to facilitate a healthy workplace dynamic."

"What d'you mean, might?" you asked incredulously. "You're gonna go back to flirting with our boss after all this?"

"Depends," he said, and you self-consciously pulled your knees into your chest where you sat. "What are we doing when we get back?"

"I don't know." Your voice was small. "What do you want?"

"Well—" He took your hand in his from where it rested atop your knee, watching your fingers as you laced them into his. "—first and foremost, I want you to stop stealing my parking spot."

"It's not your parking spot."

"But then I want you to let me take you out." Your eyebrows jumped as he squeezed your hand. "Properly. Somewhere we're not putting on a show for my family or worrying about work."

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He leaned gently into you, bumping your shoulders with his. “Let's finally go on that first date I've been lying to my family about for so long.”

Your smile was soft. “And where would you take me?”

“Well, I could always use a date to my company Christmas party,” he said, and you couldn't help your laugh. “I have this hot coworker that I share a space with who I've been trying to make jealous for years.”

“Maybe if you just tried being nice to her you'd have better results.”

“Would you believe that never occurred to me?”

You glanced over at him, and he was watching you with shining eyes. “God, you're so dumb,” you finally said, and his laugh was surprised, “I can't believe it took us this long to just talk. All this goddamn time.”

“I didn't think we ever would.”

“I didn't think we had much to say. I guess I'm glad I was wrong.”

“You guess?” he repeated, and your eyes widened as you jumped to defend yourself before you saw his grin. “You really know how to make a man feel special, princess.”

“I try my best.”

He took you by the chin when he leaned in to kiss you, but this time it was clumsier than it was passionate, one smile pressed against another.

“So are we done pretending you're not a cuddler?” he whispered, and with a groan, you shoved him hard enough that he fell onto his back beside you, pulling you down with him.

————

“There's the happy couple.” Philip's family had let you sleep in late, and you didn't want to question whether it was because they'd heard you up as late as you were the night before. It was Eliza who welcomed you down to the brunch she'd made, beaming at your sleepy smiles and mussed hair. “I know you have to get on the road today, but will you linger just a bit at breakfast? It's been so long since you've been home.”

“Of course, Mom. It's good to be back.” He kissed Eliza on the head, releasing your hand as he followed her to the kitchen counter to take a plate. “We're not in any rush, are we, princess?”

“To be stuck in a car with you all evening? I'd be happy to wait.” The usual bite behind your words didn't land how it tended to, as your snark was half-hearted. He took one look at your soft smile and couldn't even tease.

“I'm sure.”

You followed suit in taking a plate from the counter, helping yourself to some eggs and fruit. When you and Philip sat, the table was uncharacteristically quiet, and you filled your glass with orange juice, taking a sip as you glanced around.

"So you two sure got a lot of sleep, huh?" Angelica was the first to speak after you sat, and when you turned to her, her smile was knowing. You pursed your lips, a grin threatening to break through when you met her eyes.

"Yeah, it's been a tiring weekend. We needed it."

"You really haven't had much time to yourselves, have you?" Alex asked. You raised an eyebrow. His voice was sincere. "I guess that's what they say about engagements. Once you're getting married, it's about everyone else as much as it is about you."

"I think we'll manage," Philip responded, resting a hand on your knee under the table. When you turned to him, he winked. "I don't think we're in any race to the finish line. Can't speak for you, princess, but I wouldn't mind taking a little time to enjoy where we're at."

"I don't disagree," you said softly before turning back to Alex. "Anyway, we've got work in the morning. We might be a little busy to wedding plan for the time being."

"But you'll get there, right?" Concern tinged Eliza's voice, and you and Philip shared a look.

"Everything in due time, right?"

"Of course," Philip said, squeezing your knee under the table. You took another sip of your orange juice to hide your smile.

“So Y/N?” It was William's small voice that piped up, making you raise your eyebrows. “When are you having a baby?” he said, and you choked on your drink. Philip patted your back as you set the glass down, coughing.

“What?”

“You said you weren't gonna have a baby until you got married. But now you're getting married, so when are you gonna have a baby?”

You took a deep breath as you looked at Philip with wide eyes. He barely seemed to register it, glancing back at you with an exasperated smile.

“We just sat down for breakfast, Will. Give Y/N some time.”

“Well I don't mean you should have a baby right now. Finish your eggs first.”

Your laugh was stunned, but it occurred to you that you should've anticipated this. Philip seemed to have.

“I think you might need to give us a good few years to finish our eggs first then, buddy. We're in no rush.”

“But I wanna be an uncle,” William argued, and Alex finally chimed in.

“Finish the first grade before you start worrying about being an uncle.” The chuckle this garnered was collective, but he did turn his eyes to you. “Congratulations, though. You two must be excited.”

“We are,” you answered before Philip could say anything, and you squeezed his hand where it sat on the table. He met your eyes, and when he turned his hand over to lace his fingers into yours, your skin tingled. “I think it's safe to say we've still got an adventure ahead of us.”

[winterzz7]

i need to finish that one fic instead of letting 3k+ words sit in a google doc

[ayrtonswnna]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ʚïɞ welcome to my masterlist!

you can find every work of mine in here and check for parts II or any other. drop your own request! i mostly write driver x oc content, but i do write for most of the drivers, feel free! these are either upcoming or published works, this list will grow within time. (:

ʚïɞ oscar piastri 81

✧₊⁺ "can you bring my girlfriend?" (angst, hurt/comfort)

✧₊⁺ "a podium to celebrate", part I and partII (fluff)

⠀⠀

ʚïɞ lando norris 04

✧₊⁺ "next door" (angst, hurt/confort)

⠀⠀

ʚïɞ carlos sainz 55

✧₊⁺ "fuck your way into my contract" (crack, smut)

✧₊⁺ "toxic" (crack, smut)

⠀⠀

ʚïɞ charles leclerc 16

✧₊⁺ "tell me, what's my flavour?" (fluff, smut)

✧₊⁺ "we ain't angry at you, love." (angst, hurt/comfort)

⠀⠀

ʚïɞ max verstappen 33

✧₊⁺ "best man" (angst, hurt/comfort)

✧₊⁺ "little nightmare" (crack, smut)

⠀⠀

ʚïɞ franco colapinto 43

✧₊⁺ "the sweet life" (fluff)

✧₊⁺ "you got me good" (fluff)

⠀⠀

ʚïɞ lewis hamilton 44

✧₊⁺ "such a savior" (angst, hurt/comfort)

✧₊⁺ "you know what they say" (crack, smut)

⠀⠀

ʚïɞ george russell 63

✧₊⁺ "my look up to" (fluff)

✧₊⁺ "best believe!" (fluff, smut)

ʚïɞ texts au!

✧₊⁺ "2019 4life 🏎️" (2019 rookies x driver!reader)

✧₊⁺ "i really do" (lewis hamilton x ex wife!reader)

✧₊⁺ "i'm still here, ok?" (max verstappen x thalia philips (female!oc)

✧₊⁺ "damn we're equally dumb" (lando norris x winter brown (brown!female oc))

ʚïɞ AO3 links!

✧₊⁺ "SOLO" (carcar!single parents au)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀and more!

[conjectureand-gloom]

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ welcome! ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

important information ⬎

alex

they/he/xe/it

non binary 💛🤍💜🖤

lesbian ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜

youreverydaydemikid -> conjectureand-gloom (15/01/24)

minor (february 8th)

multifandom

fanfiction writer

GMT +10:30

INFP-T

2w1

lyn lapid fan blog @tlit21c

i stand with palestine 🇵🇸

my new main account is @holesofmy-sweater

links ⬎

my ao3

my spotify

my pinterest

my instagram (that i’m barely active on)

hamilton fanfic recommendations

2023 reflection post

fandom list, fanfiction request masterlist, written works, wips, asks, tags and mutuals under the cut

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ fandom list ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

hamilton (feel free to request for any hamilton ship, i love them all so much, alexander is the absolute DREAM for a multishipper. alexander is my main target for angst! this is my main fandom)

jesus christ superstar (jesus/judas or jesus/judas/mary mainly for jcs, but feel free to ask for any other ships and i’ll consider it!! and no, i am not religious. i have been raised christian, but just ended up with religious trauma)

a good girls guide to murder (pipravi fluff and angst :) but i’ll so gladly write fics about sal and andie, or becca. ravi is my comfort character, and i just torture pip relentlessly)

nevermoor (personally i’m more of a cadence/morrigan girly, but fics for nevermoor will mainly be gen! i love found family, so jupiter & mog fluff or angst is my favourite)

in the heights (canon ships mainly, but feel free to ask for other ships! i’m not in the ITH fandom much, so these are going to be much more inaccurate)

newsies (again, more gen fics, but i do ship dave/jack. also i love angsty crutchie fics. this is one of my smaller fandoms, so these will be super inaccurate)

keeper of the lost cities (preferably marella/linh or tam/keefe! but again, feel free to ask for any ship!!)

hunger games (gen, preferably. but i’m team peeta in case anyone was wondering. fuck gale.)

maze runner (okay i haven’t read or seen TMR in ages but newt/thomas)

divergent (canon ships only. and no, christina/tobias is not canon.)

six (gen all the way. found family. also i love katherine howard angst over any other queen)

the song of achilles (achilles/patroclus? literally what other ship is there????? this is my favourite book)

wednesday (wednesday/enid. i feel like this requires no explanation. also. angst fics. i almost exclusively write angsty wednesday fics, rather than enid. i love the whole of the addams family, and i love familial hurt/comfort)

marauders (i’m not in the marauders fandom much at all, like i really only know the actual hp canon marauders. so.)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ fanfic request rules ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

i’ll write for any fandom listed above, i love them all! however i am much more active in hamilton, agggtm, jcs, nevermoor and kotlc, so those fics will be much better than the other fandoms’ would be

i’ll write any genre other than smut, and angst/whump is my absolute favourite. any AUs you could think of, literally anything, i’m not picky!

i won’t write romanticised abuse, non/con, or anything like that. that’s not to say that my fics can’t have dark aspects, but i won’t romanticise any of that.

on that, i’m not going to write any non/con, romanticised or not

also, i won’t write omegaverse, nor will i write y/n or self insert fics. nothing wrong with those genres, i just don’t write them!

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ written works ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

It’s Only A Matter Of Time - A Hamilton Watches Hamilton Fic

i wish i could say that was the last time

call me son one more time

when they surround our troops

then a hurricane came

take a break

and his right hand man…

she was holding me

the great war

we got traffic on the west side

steal into my affections

the fact that you’re alive is a miracle

fools who run their mouths off wind up dead

my father wasn’t around

philip, you would like it uptown

i may not live to see our glory…

an outrageous demand

stay alive

my dear, angelica

to convince you that i love you

but this situation’s helpless

like mother, like daughter (agggtm)

“but now this room is spinning…”

“i’ll call out your name but you won’t call back”

“like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon”

me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you (gifted to @holes-in-my-false-confidence)

baby it’s cold outside

the entire exposé (inspired entirely off of @jittyjames’ fanfiction series ‘the price of his war’)

my world is burning (yet another fic based off of jami’s series ‘the price of his war’)

i’m sorry if any of these links are incorrect, i spent over an hour on just this section

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ wips ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

achilles, come down (last two works in series still need to be written)

je m’appelle… lafayette? (one chapter to go)

lams (taylor’s version) (a few chapters to go, unsure if it will be finished)

you’re the one who disappears (agggtm, unsure if it will be finished, or when)

judas’ death (jcs angst fanfiction)

untitled (hamil-gang liminal spaces au longfic thing idk)

febuwhump drabbles (possibly)

be my valentine challenge

so big/so small (so big/so small from deh but hamilton and his ma)

bloom like rose thorns (a longfic that may or may not ever be finished)

rewrite of ‘i wish i could say that was the last time’ and ‘call me son one more time’

baby don’t cut (lams angst based off of a song with the same name)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ collaborations ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

fem!hamilton au with @jittyjames and @firebalda

if anybody is interested in collabing at all, please hit me up!! i love writing with other people!!!!

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ asks ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

please send me any asks at all!!! and also please put fic requests in my ask box, i did say that i would have your request out in 6 months, but i have had one sitting in there for over a year (sorry jami.) but um. i promise im trying to get better at that

also, feel free to ask for fic recommendations!!!! i’ve linked a post earlier in this post with a huge list, but it’s not fully updated with some more recent fics :)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ tags ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

asks- all the asks ive answered, these are also tagged with the url of the blog, or with anon dearest if it was an anon ask

akeyla ml- posts about/with my incredible incredible partner @holes-in-my-false-confidence who i love so much ❤❤❤❤❤❤

tag games- self explanatory, tag games :)

sleep is overrated- me trying to fix my sleep schedule in 2024

personal- personal vent posts. please block this tag, i have had someone unfollow me before because of these posts :)

₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ mooties ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

@jittyjames

@like-the-stars-i-shine (irl friend for 5 years now)

@holes-in-my-false-confidence (my partner, irl <33333)

@felizusnavidad

@weeping-in-the-willows

@swiftieannah

@the1laff

@anixknowsnothin

@purpleblobfrompluto

@starduckys

@now-thats-his-bride

@kwilooo

@evilteapot (irl friend)

@my-dear-gal

@idontwanttobeabuzzkill

@mynightsoutofsight

@cc-horan28

i have more mutuals, but this is everybody who i interact with more often and i actually consider to be my friend. if anybody wants to ever message me or actually become friends with me, please do!!!! i love talking to you guys, please message me, i promise im not scary <333

[juliusceasersblog]

My rules/ fandoms I will write for!

Hello! I am Julia, I am a 20 y/o writer and AVID reader. I am apart of SOSOSOSO many fandoms! Here are fandoms I will write for. (Keep in mind that I am just getting started writing again. Please be patient and know that I am doing my best. I am still in uni so it may be hard doe me to upload as much as I'd like. Please please send me any and ALL requested for characters that seem appealing to you!!) But, here are some things I will NOT write for. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, incest, stepcest, necrophilia, somnophilia. I am writing smut and all you'd have to do for a certain character is dm me or request it !;)

Harry Potter.

Lucius Malfoy

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

Ron Wesley

George and Fred Wesley

Severus Snape

Luna lovegood

Draco Malfoy

Narcissa Malfoy

Bellatrix Lestrange

Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Tony Stark

Loki Laufeyson

Steve Rogers

Natasha Romanoff

Wanda Maximoff

Vision

Miles Morales

Gwen Stacy

Miguel O'hara

Star Wars

Anakin Skywalker

Luke Skywalker

Leia Skywalker

Padmé Amidalla

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Han solo

Lando Calrissian

Rey

Kylo Ren

Diabolik lovers

Ayato Sakamaki

Laito Sakamaki

Kanato Sakamaki

Azusa Mukami

Shu Sakamaki

Kou Mukami

Yuma Mukami

Reiji Sakamaki

Cordelia

Ruki Mukami

Yui Komori

Subaru Sakamaki

Carla Tsukinami

Kou Mukami

Shin Tsukinami

Richter

Natasha, Pierre And the great comet of 1812

Pierre Bezukhov

Natasha Rostova

Marya Dmitriyevna

Fedya Dolokhov

Anatole Kuragin

Hamilton

Angelica Schuyler

Aaron Burr

Alexander Hamilton

George III

Marquis De Lafayette

George Washington

Peggy Schuyler

Thomas Jefferson

John Laurens

James Madison

Hercules Mulligan

Maria Reynolds

Eliza Schuyler

Philip Hamilton

Interview with the vampire

Lestat De Lioncourt

Louis De Pointe du La

Claudia De pointe du Lac

Aarmand

Santiago Loustat

Claudeline

HOND

Claude Frollo

Phoebus

Esmerelda

Arcane

Jinx

Vi

Sevika

Caitlyn

Jayce

Viktor

Silco

Ambessa Medarda

Wicked

Elpheba

Fieyro

The outsiders

Darry

Sodapop

Ponyboy

Dally

Johnny

Two-bit

Steve

Cherry

Marsha

Curly

Tim Shepherd

Angela Shepherd

Voltron

Axca

Romelle

Klance

Allurance

Gotham (2016)

Jerome Valeska

Jeremiah Valeska

Bruce Wayne

Selena Kyle

Edward Nygma

AHS

Tate Langdon

Violet Harmon

Lana Winters

Kit Walker

Jimmy Darling

Micheal Langdon

MPHFPC

Enoch O'connor

Alma Peregrine

Anastasia

Anastasia Romanov

Dimitryi

Gleb Vagonof

Black Butler

Alois Trancy

Ciel Phantomhive

Claude Faustus

Sebastian Michaelis

Invincible

Mark Greyson

Nolan Greyson

Samantha (Atom Eve)

Ghost B.C

Any of the papa's

Any of the ghouls!

UMBRELLA ACADEMY

Viktor Hargreeves

Allison Hargreeves

Luther Hargreeves

Five Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

Ben Hargreeves

Klaus Hargreeves

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

Drop the Miku Binder TJ rant bestie

okay so like

i was just thinking about it, and, like, i think it's fucking nuts but also really weird how the hamilton fandom (which i'm in but i swear i'm not an uwu lams turtles shipper please) somehow took this CRUSTY, TERF-BANGED, UGLY, OLD, REDHEADED, RAPIST ASS MOTHERFUCKER,

and turned his ugly ass into this.

like damn what the hell- what- how???? okay like yeah, they're using daveed diggs as a base for this bullshit, which, okay, fine, but YOU DID NOT NEED TO ADD THE INFO. The idea itself is funny but also a bit weird, however im 99% sure Diggs himself wore that shirt. However, all of the extra info??? come on. Where'd the fandom get this istg y'all-

Also, also, they did something similar by making John Laurens (gay blonde dumbass) into an UWU turtles boy. ....why. Bi trash coffee gremlin tumblr over-worked sleep-deprived alexander hamilton. like yeah relatable but. why. small bean big sweater uwu innocent boy blushy short james madison. ...why. bro was stubborn and would pick a fight and was the 'fuck you' type of shy.

I just find it wild the fandom made this and it is the entirety of the fandom into one. There's the good sides, there's the bad, and there's this. Which encompasses the ENTIRE. FUCKING. FANDOM.

The fandom has its headcanons, it has its perks, but then you reach the side where everyone is just a wild fucking original character. They don't model the historical figures anymore- they're just OCs with the name 'Philip Hamilton' or 'John Laurens' or god forbid our third U.S president 'Thomas Jefferson' slapped onto it.

I'm also so confused as to how this is what the fandom is known for. We have some good fics, we have hella good art, we have a M U S I C A L , and then the first thought people have of the Ham fandom is Miku Binder Third President Founding Fucker Slaveowner Thomas Jefferson.

I also find it kind of offensive (almost put insluting oh my ufckjg-) that they made a founder become this but like he'd probably be really pissed so please keep fucking up his memory lmao he deserves it

But like... also why. What made them think of this.

Like yeah I write 20k word TR smut but you don't see me drawing it.

You don't see me making him an UWU e-boy.

...Eh I probably would for shits and giggles tbh

But like this is founding father Thomas Jefferson. Third Pres. Second VP. First Sec. of State. And he is a furry, ex-cocaine addict. Also btw do they mean John Laurens or John Adams as the former drug dealer part because neither are better but it'd really help

Also bro literally raped his 14 year old slave and had like 6 kids with her. He had her room DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIS. He RAPED HIS DEAD WIFE'S HALF-SISTER. AND HE'S A SAD UWU MAN WHO DID NOTHING WRONG?

Let's not forget this same person made a post saying Lizzie (the Queen) would be reincarnated as a horse when she died. I'm serious. Deadass.

However, it's also funny as fuck because this entire thing is a tarnish to Jefferson and I fucking HATE that bastard so like good job lol

At the same time though it's still super weird??? But insane??? Because how did this become one of the Tumblr exclusives??? like it's Tumblr history at this point. Twitter history. You cannot express any like for the Hamilton musical before you get the 'have you seen miku binder thomas jefferson' and it's like 'well shit'.

But also remember: THIS IS NOT AN OC TO FUCK AROUND WITH. Hamilton the Musical specifically gave you and presented you the founder. Thomas Jefferson. Played by Daveed Diggs. Just because it is played by a POC, but also modernized, and vastly different from the actual founder and President, does not mean that at its core it is NOT STILL THE SAME PERSON.

If you name it Thomas Jefferson, if you use the presentation of him given by Daveed Diggs, you are still using that white fucking slave-owning racist motherfucker, and that's the point of it all.

I find it stupid but funny but also insane, and I wouldn't care, unless I KNEW IT WAS SERIOUS. The artist made it seriously. They made John Laurens. They made Philip Hamilton. They did this seriously.

but like also look at this lmao

This meme of Thomas Jefferson in a Hatsune Miku binder really got trending on Twitter at one point

It's an infamous, hellish, classic meme of both Tumblr and the Hamilton fandom, and it deserves what attention it's got, but Jesus please never unironically make shit like this again, Hamilfans, we're stained by this we don't need another😭🔫

EDIT:

i have more

So like, I just remembered: it kinda romanticizes these guys??? The musical??? so like don't get me wrong i love the music but... it puts them into this light. This pink light. It paints Hamilton as an abolitionist who was outspoken about it. When, in reality, dude traded and sold slaves for his in-laws + wasn't all that outspoken about it + was against immigrants or migrants, WHEN DUDE WAS FROM THE ISLANDS. HE HAD SCOTTISH BLOOD. AND HE'S AGAINST IT? Hypocrisy at its finest.

Washington also owned slaves and ran his own plantation too, so he's not off the hook. Madison, the 'uwu small bean' of the fandom, also owned slaves and ran a plantation. So the main people of this entire fiasco are slave-owners. Perfect. But also I've heard Ron Chernow's book on Hamilton, the entire start of the musical, is a bit biased to Ham himself, so...

You could be saying 'but FDRsduckfloaty, Sally is mentioned!' yes. But however, not enough. Not more. It's not even implied more than potentially ONCE what he did, and I'm not sure it ever was! Cabinet battle 3 states it flat-out but it was cut. For your info, Ben Franklin and John Adams are the only two you can really like in the slavery aspect. Ben bought them but let them go for their freedom, and John detested slavery and was against it. Never owned one.

Jefferson did add a slavery clause to the declaration but it was discarded, and he didn't fight half as much as he could have. Maybe he did and since it was the 1700s he didn't have a lot of support, but surely he could've done something like, I don't know, call it out after his terms? Once you're done gaining your second term and out of office, they can't do shit to it or your presidency, since it's over.

So the musical itself has its own problem and the fandom is even worse. It blatantly disregards that a LOT. A hella lot of the amrev fandom + a small part of the ham fandom has called TJeffs out for it but I mean can we please not make shit like Miku Binder Jefferson and act like he wasn't an actual child rapist???

This video does pretty well at it. I will admit the tagline 'America then, told by America now' almost sends shivers down my spine for what it really means. But then again I find men not knowing they'd make it down into the history books for starting the world's global power and the world's economic powerhouse pretty interesting. Doing something big and knowing it's historical, but not that it's going to form a very, VERY large country, where you'll be honored down the road and called a Founding Father of an entire nation? Signing papers and not knowing they're the founding stones of a country and still looked up to today? Intriguing.

But like still fuck Thomas Jefferson lmao

there's a lot more videos on it that dig deep, but the point is, that Hamilton is a good musical with good songs but it's also very... complex, and a bit problematic, Thomas Jefferson is a little bitch, and you should stan 1776 before you ever stan Hamilton. 1776 does not do this. It is much more realistic. 1776 has Benjamin Franklin and that's an immediate win. Be more like a 1776, be less like a Hamilton.

[chemdisaster]

wip game

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

thanks for the tag @piglinmyfeet!! i must admit i'm surprised at how few wips everyone in the original thread has because, as i've mentioned to a few people before, i have over a hundred and i'm not even exaggerating

i will try to keep this brief however and only list the wips i'm actively set on getting done. they will be ordered by fandom because my folders are ordered by fandom, so i might as well put the fandom here too. also be aware that some of these are rather dark or smut or both

so, here goes:

i'd make a deal with god (jcs)

martyn decapitating ren??? (mcyt obviously)

and i wish you away (mcyt)

it's a proposition, s... - untitled, but this is what it looks like in the notes app because of the first line (mcyt)

running up that hill (mcyt)

hotguy mindfuckery au - 7 wips here, but i'm putting them under the same number cause they're all the same au: trashed and scattered, thoughtless, sweet sacrifice, dear, how it's going to be, calm me down, mafia catches up to them - somewhere before it all (mcyt)

cat dad au - same story as above: cleo reveal, kitten name change, parent death, awful scene, soon i'll be sixty ye... (same as number 4) (mcyt)

forever young (mcyt)

now i bend like a willow, thinking of you (mcyt)

5+1 3 electric boogalee (mcyt)

5+1 4 ya mum's a whore (mcyt)

they fucked in the room where it happened (hamilton)

philip death time loop (hamilton)

but the world still spins (hamilton)

do you think you're what they say you are? (hamilton)

adams stargazing (1776)

trans girl adams (1776)

jedams (1776)

pages of my fantasies (newsies)

zombie apocalypse au (newsies)

medda scene (newsies)

american idiot au (newsies)

jack does it for the money (newsies)

kiss today goodbye (newsies)

jack dies (newsies)

crutchie dies (newsies)

god. all right. so i have a problem. and there's many more wips that don't have a folder yet, but have been discussed extensively or live rent free in my head. also the number of wips keeps growing. constantly. like all the newsies wips were born within two weeks. i genuinely, truly have a problem /lh

in fact, i even made a meme last year, ft. my old discord pfp

anyway, moving on. clearly i don't have this many people to tag, so @bloop-im-a-frog-now hi! you're like the only person i feel fully comfortable tagging so-

anyone who wants to join in though, you're more than welcome to!

[bornforastorm]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

oh gosh babe thank you. I have only within the past year or so become open about my fic writing and openly proud about it, so this is a nice ask to get 🥰🥰 This was hard to do because if I've posted it, I'm proud of it. So I'm actually basically very proud of everything I've published in the past 5 years, but here are some I'm extra pleased with

For the Birds Philip Marlowe/Terry Lennox, written in 2016!

I'm pretty proud of all my Marlowe fics, honestly, and really am tinkering at Marlowe/Terry fics all the time. Of the published ones, I like this one best. The slightly melancholic nature of it, the hazy romance, Marlowe looking at guys much younger than himself who aren't scared to be in love and opening up himself to try it too... I love writing in that period where Marlowe and Terry are having drinks and nothing has gone wrong yet, and this is one of those + fake relationship stuff (fun trope to write!)

And Back The Mummy 2017, Nick Morton/Chris Vail, written in 2017!

this fandom is small and niche but I (brag) do think I wrote the best fic in it. this movie was full of potential and I had a lot of fun unpacking some of the implications of that world. What if your boyfriend brought you back from the dead and now you're kinda fucked up and weird and he's VERY fucked up and weird but you're all you've got. The concepts.... 🤌🤌

Route 117 The Lost Boys/Stephen King's The Body, what if Ace Merrill was David, written 2017

This is just a concept and execution I'm really proud of, brought to you by Kiefer Sutherland being insane hot in the 80s, and me reading a lot of Stephen King and going... yes this disaffected, horrible boy who needs a dad could become a disaffected, horrible vampire boy with a dad

Crabapple Crabs MASH, Hawkeye/Trapper + Hawkeye/BJ, written 2022!

Undeniably proud of this one. Impossible not to be. My big contribution to MASHblr. This big fic that's really mean to BJ, is deeply HawkTrap Endgame, and is deeply steeped in MASH Goes to Maine. Ben Majorbaby, this one is for you and because of you and you made it better, and I'm very proud of the result. Someday I'll finish the prequel HawkTrap fic and that will be for you completely.

Hey Lover Won't You Treat Me Right Perry Mason/Pete Strickland/Hamilton Burger, written 2023!

It would be wrong not to include my big Perry Mason threeway fic. I do not really feel confident writing smut, so this was a big leap for me and I'm very proud of how it turned out! Perry Mason is everything to me and I am proud to have written the first threeway fic for our little fandom 🙏🙏

[spiderverseandstuff]

Welcome to my blog!

Hi! I’m Tay and I love all things spiderverse and Trolls, as well as some other fandoms listed in my bio that I also write for if requested.

Characters I will write for:

Spiderverse:

Hobie Brown

Miguel O’Hara

Gwen Stacy

Miles Morales

Pavitr Prabhakar

Peter B. Parker

Spider-Byte/Margo

My OC (Ari)

Trolls:

Branch

Poppy

Viva

Clay

Spruce/Bruve

John Dory

Floyd

Creek

King Trollex

Velvet

Veneer

Kid Ritz

Orchid

Cobra Kai

Johnny Lawrence

Daniel Larusso

John Kreese

Terry Silver

Tori Nichols

Robby Keene

Miguel Diaz

Moon

Yasmine

Demetri

Eli/Hawk

Samantha Larusso

Anthony Larusso

Hamilton:

Alexander Hamilton

Aaron Burr

Thomas Jefferson

James Madison

George Washington

Philip Hamilton

Eliza Hamilton

Peggy Schuyler

Angelica Schuyler

Beetlejuice (Movie/Musical):

Lydia Deetz

Delia

Beetlejuice

Barbara Maitland

Adam Maitland

Requests are: Open

What I will write:

Fluff/tooth rotting fluff

Of age Smut

Pregnancy

Fake dating

Friends to lovers

Enemies to lovers

Angst

What I will not write:

Incest of all kinds

Under-age smut

Water sports

Slow burn

Thank you for reading and please feel free to ask questions and submits requests!

[jittyjames]

MASTERPOST FOR FICS

fic request rules

(at least, i think that's what these are called)

(i write for hamilton and jcs)

Categories:

i only write character x character! i'm sorry, i'm absolutely dreadful at writing self inserts or y/n characters! there's nothing wrong with those, i just completely fail at them.

i can also write things that are strictly platonic and have no romantic connections if that is what you prefer!

I will write for literally ANY hamilton/jcs ship or character. I love them all and I am not very picky when it comes to writing them. (lgbtq+ ships, poly ships, het ships, etc.)

Genres:

Whump (hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, emotional whump, sickfics, etc.)

Fluff (romantic fluff, platonic fluff, family fluff, etc.)

AUs (literally any you could possibly think of lol)

Songfics

Smut

I will not write anything underage or incest. period.

I also won't write anything like romanticized abuse or any other romanticized icks. that's not to say the fic cannot have dark themes, but i won't write it in a glorified light.

other than that, i will pretty much write anything! (maybe not heavy fetishes tho. when in doubt, don't be afraid to ask!)

the requests can be as specific as you'd like! it can be a paragraph or just a few words! feel free to submit anonymously or publically so i can credit you for the idea!

I'll post them on AO3!

WIPS

Hamilton

the means to go on (multichap whump fic)

new money (enemies to friends fic, requested)

feverish disruptions (sickfic, requested)

sweet nothings (lams smut, requested)

eyes open (thg au)

darling dissident (alexandra hamilton au)

untitled philip sickfic (requested)

untitled ghost laurens fic (requested)

tolerate it (song fic, requested)

JCS

perfidy (multichap whump fic)

waste of money, waste of man (multichap angst fic)

seven sweetest sins (fluff multishot collection)

contrition (one-shot angst fic)

[thepaladinstrait]

⛤ my writing masterlist ⛤

my fanfictions for hamilton, a good girls guide to murder, twenty one pilots and nevermoor. wips and collaborations included. fic request rules and masterlist.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

key ⛤

happy/fluffy: 🩵

sad/angsty: ❤️‍🔥

hurt/comfort: ❤️‍🩹

romance: 🩷

gen: 🧸

longfic: 📖

finished: ⭐️

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

hamilton: an american musical ⛤

It’s Only A Matter Of Time - A Hamilton watches Hamilton fic 📖⭐️❤️‍🩹

when they surround our troops ❤️‍🔥🧸

then a hurricane came ❤️‍🔥🧸

take a break ❤️‍🩹🩵

and his right hand man… ❤️‍🔥🧸

she was holding me ❤️‍🩹🧸

the great war ❤️‍🔥🩷

achilles, come down ❤️‍🔥

steal into my affections 🩵🩷

je m’appelle… lafayette? ❤️‍🩹📖

the fact that you’re alive is a miracle ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹

fools who run their mouths off wind up dead ❤️‍🔥

my father wasn’t around ❤️‍🩹

philip, you would like it uptown ❤️‍🔥

i may not live to see our glory… ❤️‍🔥

an outrageous demand ❤️‍🔥

stay alive ❤️‍🩹🩷

my dearest, angelica ❤️‍🔥🩷

to convince you that i love you ❤️‍🔥🩷

lams (taylor’s version) 🩵❤️‍🔥🩷📖

but this situation’s helpless ❤️‍🔥

“but now this room is spinning…” ❤️‍🩹

“i’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back” ❤️‍🔥

“like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon” ❤️‍🔥🩷

me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you 🩵🩷

baby it’s cold outside ❤️‍🩹🩷

“for all the love i’ve found in you, i’ll be forever grateful baby” 🩵🩷

i haven’t slept in a week ❤️‍🔥

ink and tears ❤️‍🔥

i don’t know where i’m going either, but isn’t this better? 🩵🩷

maybe you’re better off on my own. ❤️‍🔥

you can hear it in the silence ❤️‍🔥🩷

blessed be the mystery of love 🩵🩷

the entire exposé (inspired and written in the universe of @jittyjames’ series the price of his war) ❤️‍🔥

my world is burning (inspired and written in the universe of @jittyjames’ series the price of his war) ❤️‍🔥

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a good girls guide to murder ⛤

like mother, like daughter ❤️‍🔥

you’re the one who disappears ❤️‍🔥📖

“i will not let anyone take away what’s standing in front of me” 🩵🩷

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

nevermoor ⛤

in the smallest of moments 🩵🩷

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

twenty one pilots ⛤

lying here just crying ❤️‍🩹🧸

why no one ever comes back with details from beyond 📖⭐️❤️‍🔥

dissasociate (i'm navigating my head) ❤️‍🩹

it's a good day ❤️‍🔥

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

wips ⛤

achilles, come down (hamilton, last two works in the series still need to be written)

je m’appelle… lafayette? (hamilton, one chapter left to be written)

lams (taylor’s version) (hamilton, a few chapters left to be written, unsure if it will be finished)

you’re the one who disappears (agggtm, unsure if it will be finished, or when)

judas’ death (jcs angst)

untitled (hamilgang liminal spaces au)

so big/so small (so big/so small from deh but hamilton and his ma)

bloom like rose thorns (a hamilton longfic that may or may not ever be finished)

rewrite of 'i wish i could say that was the last time' and ‘call me son one more time'

baby don’t cut (lams angst based off of a song with the same name)

untitled (the purge hamilton au)

untitled (psych ward/mental asylum hamilton au)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

request masterlist ⛤

i'll write any genre other than smut, and angst/whump is my absolute favourite. any AUs you could think of, literally anything, i'm not picky!

i won't write romanticised abuse, non/con, or anything like that. that's not to say that my fics can't have dark aspects, but i won't romanticise any of that.

on that, i'm not going to write any non/con, romanticised or not

also, i won't write omegaverse, nor will i write y/n or self insert fics. nothing wrong with those genres, i just don't write them!

[astralaffairs]

put a ring on it 05 | philip hamilton

title: put a ring on it 05

pairing: philip hamilton x reader

words: 9.5k

warnings: another stupid cliffhanger, death mentions?, not much tbh

desc: You’ve never liked Philip Hamilton, and have always assumed the feeling has been mutual. But when you’re roped into pretending to be his girlfriend for a family reunion, you feel all your truths beginning to melt away, and find them instead taking form in his smile.

tags: @beepbeepstop @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @superbarriobrothers @tf2germanvillain @ela-ena @abundant-stars @heytheredee-lilah @katierpblogg @thisshitfucks @celyndavies @quixoticallydelusional @sothisishappiness @ems-alexandra @yxseminx @sadhwstudent @aiifandomsunite @loonaynay @valleryhyde @lxncelot @checkurwindow @katierpblogg @alievans007@nyxie75 @ii-moonlight-ii @sothisishappiness @ems-alexandra @elegantbutedgy @maxi-ride @moose-on-the-l00se @itshaileyn @someinsanefangirl @theirishhufflepuff @golddiggs-x @drreamhugs @sillyteecup @notebookgirl30 @marvelouslyemily @checkurwindow @kmsmedine - lmk if u wanna b added

"Patsy, you've gotta help me. I'm freaking out."

You were slumped on the floor of the Hamiltons' bathroom by then, praying that no one would come and knock, ask to use it. To your relief, when you called, Patsy picked up the phone without hesitation - she'd been on alert, waiting for your SOS all weekend. However, the emergency call you were making didn't quite match the one she was expecting.

"Oh, god; what'd he do?" your roommate groaned from the other end of the line. "Am I gonna need to kick his ass the minute you two get back to town?"

"Shockingly, no," you mumbled, letting out a soft huff as your absent gaze fell to the green wall before you. "I... have a much different problem."

"What, did you fuck one of his cousins? Did the woman who offered to be your sugar mama a while back end up being his aunt?" Despite your state of panic, her words made you smile as you rolled your eyes. "Wait, holy shit, did you fuck him?"

You grimaced at her final question. While it didn't hit the mark, it was far too close to it for your comfort. "No, I absolutely did not."

"So what's the issue, then?"

"I... oh, god, you're definitely gonna make fun of me for this," you sighed, and Patsy didn't respond, instead waiting for you to continue. When you did, your voice was small, shaky. "I think I like him, Patsy. I really think I like him."

There was a skip.

"I'm sorry, is this some kind of a prank?"

"Patsy," you groaned, your head falling back against the bathroom wall, and she was quick to backtrack.

"No, no, I'm happy for you; don't get me wrong," she said quickly, pausing before she added, "I'm just surprised. What happened?"

"I don't even know. I just... he's really not the person I thought he was. So much of what I thought I knew about him was off base," you said, pinching the bridge of your nose. "How was I supposed to know he was secretly all caring and thoughtful? And he's so good with kids; god, it's adorable. Too much has changed this weekend; my head is spinning. I don't know what to do about it."

"Well, keep in mind that there's a reason he asked you to come home with him," she said matter-of-factly, and you furrowed your brow.

"What d'you mean?"

"Y/N," she sighed, "You two weren't friends. There was no world in which you would've agreed to be his cover story, but he still told his family he was dating you. You really don't think that was a little bit intentional?"

You scoffed. "Are you implying that he was projecting?"

"If the shoe fits."

"Patsy, it wasn't pointed; it was just convenient," you argued, pulling your knees into your chest, tucking the phone between your shoulder and your ear. "I'm his coworker. There are pictures of me and him together at work. I live far enough from the Hamiltons that it was easy to excuse the fact that I'd never met them."

"You're not his only coworker," Patsy replied, and you rolled your eyes at how certain she sounded.

"So who's to say I wasn't chosen at random?"

"Me. You spent years openly resenting him. You would've been the least convenient person in your office for him to pick," she pointed out, and you pursed your lips, playing absentmindedly with the edge of the shag carpet on the bathroom floor.

"I'm also the least insufferable," you replied. "Not to be anti-woman, or anything, but I don't have a single female coworker who I could spend a weekend with without going insane."

"Okay, so you can agree that he doesn't find you insufferable."

"That's a low, low bar."

"But don't you find it even a little bit weird?" You bit your lip at her words, and your brow was furrowed but your gaze empty. "Why would he need a fake girlfriend to begin with?"

That, however, made you wince. Even just hours before, you may not have known how to answer, but- "Actually, I have a hunch about that."

"Oh?"

"Unfortunately." You resented the sound of your own voice shaking as you remembered the scene you'd just fled, and apparently, any respite the phone call provided from the sinking feeling in your stomach was long gone. "His ex is here. She's crazy pretty, and she's totally sweet, and she's obviously still into him. She's even my dream girl. I think he asked me here to make her jealous."

There was a pause on her end of the line; all you received was static as she let out a sigh. "See, I don't buy that."

"Why not? It'd make perfect sense," you said irately. "He seemed to really want me to meet her, and, God, you shoud've seen how excited he looked to see her."

"If she's a family friend, you shouldn't be surprised that they're still on good terms. Haven't you ever stayed friends with any of your exes?"

"Not like that." You swallowed hard; Patsy couldn't see it, but your eyes were sullen, downcast as you recalled the interaction. Jesus, you'd been so stupid to get attached to him; it hadn't even been three days. You really, really should've seen something like this coming. You'd long known Philip to be self-interested, why should this be any different?

But he'd had no one to perform for when he'd spent the whole afternoon with you coddling his niece and nephew. He couldn't prove anything to anyone by the fact that you'd woken up in his arms two mornings in a row. He had nowhere to invoke how protective he'd been as his family dragged you this way and that, interrogating you all the while.

You realized you'd let your call go silent for several moments too long. "I dunno. It's just too complicated. I don't know what to think of any of it."

When she sighed, you recoiled at the loud rush of static that came from your phone. "I know you're not gonna like hearing this, but you need to talk to him."

"How the hell am I supposed to talk to him about this?"

"Be upfront. I'm serious, Y/N; your reservations about what you're feeling are all just you self-sabotaging, and you well know it." Though she wasn't wrong, her words left you on edge - if you were upfront with him, you hadn't a single clue how he'd react. "I know you haven't let yourself fall for anyone since John, but-"

"Please don't bring him into this," you said, the words weary. Patsy had known you for years; she could hear the grief building in the back of your throat before you could swallow it. She paused before speaking, and when she did, her voice was much softer.

"Sorry. I really didn't mean to, but..." You braced yourself for her to continue, your jaw tight. "It's the truth. It's been years. Don't you think it's time for you to stop holding yourself back from living?"

Your sigh was heavy; you would've even chalked it up as being born somewhat of your dramatics if not for the despair you couldn't stop from building in your voice when you responded. "Maybe it is. But I'm not ready to get hurt." The words were almost a whisper, as tearful as any cry. "I... I didn't even like Philip until two days ago; who's to say this won't just pass in another two?"

"I can't make that call for you, love," she replied, tone sympathetic. "But, please, don't self-sabotage out of fear. You deserve so much better than that."

"But I am afraid," you said, and you drew in a shaky breath. "How could I not be?"

"You've been working past all your fears for years, now. Years. It's time to stop being afraid."

"I..." you started, but you trailed off, knowing that putting up a fight wouldn't get you anywhere from there. "Thanks, Patsy. I think that, for now, I just need to clear my head. I don't want to do anything I'll regret."

"Okay. Let me know if you need anything else. Love you, Y/N."

At that, you gave a watery smile. "Love you, too."

You didn't move from your spot on the floor until the incessant drone of the dial tone into your ear became unbearable.

It was only minutes later that, after you'd exited the bathroom, flushed the toilet and washed your hands for good measure despite not having used it, ran almost directly back into Philip. He was in the dining room, chatting with Maria when you found him - or, really, when he found you.

You were hesitant to approach the pair, but when Philip noticed you, you could see him cut himself off mid-sentence, muttering something more to her before he made his way across the room to you.

"Hey, Hamilton." You offered him a weak smile, and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Since when are we back to 'Hamilton,' hm?"

"Sorry. Just what I'm used to," you mumbled, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Still?"

You shrugged. "Old habits die hard, I guess."

"Alright, princess." He shook his head lightly, amusement written into his smile. "Where have you been? When I came in to find you, you weren't around."

Again, you shrugged. You were on edge, suddenly seeming to be at a complete loss for words. "I just ran to the bathroom. I'm back now," you said lamely, and he grinned.

"I can see that. You wanna come with me to get something to eat?"

You took a deep breath, trying your best to settle your fresh batch of nerves, and you nodded. "Yeah."

"Alright, let's go." He tipped his head toward the kitchen, and when you started in his direction, he reached over, looped an arm around your waist as he began to walk with you, but the sudden contact made your skin jump. You tensed in his hold, and he glanced over to you with a furrowed brow, concern written deep in his expression. "You okay?"

You exhaled shakily. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm just fine."

He pursed his lips. "You're sure?"

"Of course. Don't worry about it."

"Okay." He didn't seem convinced, though, as he looked her over once more. "Can we talk later? In private?"

You could feel your heart rate begin to pick up with the hesitance in his voice; your mouth was suddenly too dry to speak. You managed a tight smile and nodded; his expression didn't change. "So, dinner?"

-------

The next hour was tense. You couldn't avoid Philip's skeptical, sidelong glances; you couldn't avoid how you shrunk away every time he came just inches too close for comfort.

The past few days had become comfortable, a difference you couldn't help but find pleasant, but it was a change so gradual you almost hadn't noticed — that is, until it came rushing toward you all at once. You were constantly on edge, and his concern only seemed to grow. You tried to relax, but your nerves wouldn't let you, not as you questioned every fleeting touch, every lopsided smile.

Within an hour, nearly all of the family had been herded back outside, something you didn't mind in the least — the overcrowded lawn gave you an easy excuse to ignore Philip, focusing your energy on his little cousins and siblings. (You and Eliza Jr. had established quite the rapport; she'd provided the imaginary tea and cookies and was now filling you in on all the real tea in her brunch circle, including the failed marriage between her Barbie and her stuffed crocodile. It'd been toxic for both of them, or so you were told.)

As hard as you tried to forget the unfortunate epiphany that afternoon had brought you to, it remained perpetually at the surface of your mind, coloring every one of your interactions with Philip. His concern appeared to be unavoidable, too.

"Hey, princess."

You jumped at the feeling of Philip's hand coming to rest on your shoulder, tearing you from your scintillating conversation with your new four-year-old (tea) drinking buddy. You glanced back at him with wide eyes, a hand on your chest as though to still the rapid thumping of your heart, and he stood there with an eyebrow raised.

"Jesus. You can't just scare me like that," you said, seemingly winded, and he only laughed.

"My sincerest apologies."

"Oh, I'm sure."

He swung a folding chair out from the table behind you, turning it so he could sit beside you, facing his little sister with a grin. "So, what have you and Y/N been talking about? Have you been spilling all the family secrets while I wasn't around to hear?"

She let out a huff, seemingly put-off by his appearing. "No, we've been talking about my drama."

You couldn't help but grin when she folded her arms, wearing a stubborn frown, and Philip turned to you with a brow raised. "And what drama might that be?"

"I've been persuaded to act as a divorce lawyer for a crocodile and a Barbie."

"Oh, really?"

You nodded your frank confirmation. "I'm responsible for dividing up the assets."

That coaxed a chuckle from him as he glanced to Eliza. "Seems like a big job. Why wasn't I offered the position?"

"'Cause you aren't as nice as Y/N," she said matter-of-factly, and your eyebrows shot up. "You can't be mean to them while they're going through a divorce."

"Seriously?"

"You heard her," you said, casting Philip a look of faux contempt. "You have to be gentle with their feelings."

"And I'm not good enough at that?" He raised an eyebrow, and although his smile was still light, your conversation still surface-level, the broader circumstances left a heavy undertone in his words that put you on edge. You forced a smile.

"I wouldn't know."

"No, he isn't good enough at it, Y/N," Eliza Jr. insisted, yanking you abruptly from beginning to overanalyze his words. "You can leave us alone, Pip. We've got it handled."

"You're just gonna send me away?" he asked incredulously. She shrugged, and he turned to you. "C'mon, back me up, here."

"Actually, you should stay," you agreed, but at the tension in your tone, he furrowed his brow. "I'm going to go inside for a little; I need something to drink." You turned to Eliza Jr. with a smile. "Is it alright if Philip holds down the fort for a while with the divorce? I give him my full endorsement."

She huffed, folding her arms. "Okay. But don't stay away too long; my Barbie needs you."

"Thanks, Eliza. He promises he won't let you down; don't you, Pip?"

Although you offered him a light smile, the skepticism in his gaze didn't dissipate. "Yeah, of course," he ultimately said, turning back to his sister. "So, fill me in. What tore their marriage apart?"

You couldn't help your soft smile at how serious he looked as Eliza handed him the plush crocodile, but when he shifted in his seat, you flinched, figured he was about to turn to see you standing there stating at him. When he didn't, you took a deep breath and continued back toward the house. You were struggling to keep your bearings. Keep it together, Y/N.

Unfortunately, you'd spent the weekend so focused on Philip (too focused on Philip) that you hadn't bothered to give the layout of the house a second glance. The minute you stepped inside, you were essentially wandering.

You greeted Philip's family (and non-family) members in passing on your way, struggling to connect names to faces and forgetting whether the man who asked where to find Philip was John Laurens or John Church. They asked you if you needed help finding something, but no, you assured them you were just making a run inside to retrieve something from your suitcase.

That was how you found yourself in a secluded little library off at the far end of the first floor. You sank into the cool leather couch with a sigh, glad to be able to finally catch your breath — you could still see the reunion just outside the window, though, and the thoughts that'd had your head spinning all day didn't care to subside.

You only realized you were looking for him after you found him, still seated with Eliza Jr., but it seemed Eliza Sr. had found a role in the divorce proceedings, and you laughed quietly to yourself.

"Enjoying yourself?"

You jumped at the gentle voice that came from the doorway off to your left. You'd thought you were alone, but when you turned, you found a woman walking in to join you who couldn't have been more than 45.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you said quickly, standing up with wide eyes. "I didn't mean to intrude; I just—"

"No, none of that," —she waved off your apology, the wine in her tall glass sloshing about— "Eliza and Alex don't care where you go in their house. Their kids are seven too many for them to give a damn what happens to their property. You could trash the place, and they'd blame William."

You weren't quite sure whether you should stay, though. You froze in the process of standing up, eyeing the woman warily. She laughed. "What I mean is, relax. Geez."

Her easy nonchalance was putting you more at ease, and when you sat back down, she joined you on the other side of the couch. A moment passed, and you were about to fill the silence, but she beat you to it.

"So, I don't recognize you, which must mean you're the girl Philip tricked into coming home with him for a weekend," she said matter-of-factly, taking a sip of her wine.

"I..." you started, trailing off as you processed her words, and when she raised her eyebrows, you said, "yeah, I guess that'd be me. I'm Y/N."

"Oh, I know who you are. Think I've seen you in a few photos, but after the first five niece-in-laws, they all started to look the same," she sighed, clearly expecting you to commiserate with her. You were still stuck on trying to figure her out before you said anything you shouldn't.

She bumped her elbow into yours. "Don't look so scared. I'm not saying I'm expecting you two to get married anytime soon," she assured you. "Philip's never been great with commitment, either. You're the only long-term relationship he's had since high school, y'know."

So her quip about Philip 'tricking you into coming home with him' really was just a joke. The tension in your shoulders eased.

"I mean, we're taking things slow. One day at a time," you said, plastering on a smile. You hesitated. "But I'm sorry, have we met?"

She laughed, took another sip of her drink, and as she shook her head, you weren't sure what to make of how entertaining she was finding your question.

"No, no, not yet," she said. "I'm Philip's Aunt Peggy, Eliza's sister. Probably should've covered that before ambushing you in the library, huh?"

"That's alright." Your smile was candid, then. "It's really nice to meet you; Philip's told me quite a bit about you."

She cocked a dubious eyebrow. "Should I be worried?"

"Not at all." She was still eyeing you skeptically as she swirled her wine glass. "He's told me all your travel stories — I hear you're the fun aunt. Can you confirm?"

She shrugged it off, but her smile was wide. "Ah, he's just saying that because I sent the Hamiltons desserts in bulk when I was abroad. I'm just funding his materialism."

"To be fair, if any of my aunts sent me that much candy, they'd be my favorites, too," you reasoned.

"Aw, I'm his favorite?"

"Don't tell the others."

She snickered. "No promises."

"Well, if you do, don't rat me out," you warned, but your smile was amused. "You didn't hear it here."

"Alright, alright, I'll give you a pass," she sighed, "but only 'cause you're my favorite of the girls he's dated. You didn't hear that here, either."

"Don't make that call just yet," you said skeptically. "You hardly know me."

"No, but I've heard about you," she said. "I can tell you're better for Philip than any of his exes were. Just take me at my word."

"Seriously?" She nodded, and you eyed her dubiously. "What about Henriette? As far as your family's concerned, she can do no wrong."

The sidelong glance Peggy gave you was amused, but you shifted in your seat as she took a sip of her wine. "You don't need to worry about Henriette." Your eyebrows shot up. "I mean, don't get me wrong, she's a sweet girl."

The thought didn't seem quite complete, though, and you waited for her to continue. "...but?"

"But, well... at the end of the day, she was bad for him, and that was that," Peggy said frankly. "I mean, he broke up with her for a reason."

"He broke up with her?" The disbelief was clear in your voice, but Peggy didn't pay it any mind. She just nodded.

"Philip was head over heels for that girl, once upon a time." She turned to you, and your unease must've been written more clearly across your face than you thought. She gave you a comforting smile, rested a hand on your knee. "Don't look so worried, please," she reiterated. "Their relationship was unhealthy. Philip gave her the world, but she always wanted more. It took a toll on him."

"And what makes you think I'm any better?" you asked skeptically.

"Because he doesn't think you're perfect."

You furrowed your brow. "What?"

"I promise, that's a good thing," she assured you, but you weren't so confident in her words. She looked entertained at how taken aback you clearly were. In what world was that 'good'? "The reason none of his other relationships lasted was because he saw the women with rose-colored glasses. And I don't blame him; it happens."

"So, he's thought everyone else he dated was perfect?"

She nodded sagely. "He realizes that there are drawbacks to your relationship, love. There are drawbacks to any relationship, of course."

"Well, yeah."

"But he can actually see them, with you. And he still wants you. Don't discount that." She sounded wholly confident in her argument, but you only pursed your lips.

After a moment, she added, "He has a bad record of putting girls on pedestals. But I think he sees you for what you are."

"Someone with a lot of drawbacks?" Your gaze was still disbelieving as you eyed her, but she laughed.

"Well, I suppose." She turned to you. "But someone that's still worth it."

"Oh. Well, that's good, I guess." Your voice was soft, and Peggy squeezed your shoulder affectionately.

"It's rare, too. He's lucky to have found you." You pursed your lips. "So he'd better treat you right, or I'll set him straight. Just call up old Aunt Peggy; I've got your back."

The severity in her tone made you laugh, and she cracked a smile at your reaction. "I'll keep it in mind," you quipped. She nodded approvingly, and your smile was soft as she drained the remainder of her wine from her glass. "Thanks, Peggy."

"My pleasure."

Your eyes had wandered back to the window as you spoke, finding Philip easily as he crossed the yard with Georges and his wife, Emilie. They were talking enthusiastically; what they were saying was beyond you, but he laughed as Georges gave him a playful shove, and Emilie rolled her eyes at whatever he said next.

You didn't quite realize how soft your gaze was as you watched him, but Peggy did.

Moments later, when Philip happened to glance in your direction, he looked surprised to see you sitting there, but he grinned when he met your eyes. He gave you a short, timid wave, and you nodded back in greeting, the corners of your lips upturned. However, the interaction just drew Georges's attention to where you'd hidden yourself away, and when he saw you, his greeting was far more dramatic, waving, gesturing for you to come back out, apparently shouting something at you from outside (without a care in the world about the fact that you couldn't hear him). You couldn't help but laugh outright, returning his wave, and Georges turned to Philip. Whatever he said when he nudged him just made Philip shake his head, apparently exasperated.

"Do you love him?"

"What?" You turned with a start; Peggy's voice snapped you out of your reverie, and you felt like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, I, um– Well–" You cut yourself off as she raised a concerned eyebrow, and you blinked hard, forced a smile as you gathered your bearings. "I mean... yeah. Of course."

You swallowed hard; how nervous you were was clearly apparent, and Peggy rested a hand on your arm, wearing an apologetic smile. "Oh, lord, I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that," she said. "I just assumed, y'know, after two years together, you two would've said that by now." When you pursed your lips, she was quick to backtrack. "And not that you should've! It's perfectly alright that you haven't."

"No, no, I mean, we have, I just..." you trailed off, unsure exactly how to justify your reaction. Peggy's dark brow knit.

"Then what's got you so nervous to confirm it? You two aren't having problems, are you?"

"No," was all you said, but there wasn't much conviction in your tone. When you met Peggy's gaze, you were relieved to see that the look in her eye wasn't of skepticism but was instead of concern.

"That answer sounded like it came with stipulations, love."

"No, it didn't," you assured her, but she raised an eyebrow. A beat passed. You swallowed hard. "It's just... how do you know if you love someone?"

Peggy tilted her head to one side. "Have you never been in love before?"

"I mean, I have," you acquiesced, and when you didn't go on, she filled the silence.

"So don't you know what it feels like when you're in love, then?"

"It's just... been a while." Your gaze drifted down to the printed rug before the couch, focus suddenly on how the toes of your shoes sank into the plush fabric. Peggy rested a hand on your shoulder.

"Is everything alright?"

You swallowed hard, gave her a reassuring smile. "Yeah. Yeah, it is, really."

"You can talk to me, y'know. I won't go spilling your business to the family."

"Yeah?"

"Of course."

"Well," you started, turning away from Peggy, gaze unfocused, "I don't know how I feel about Philip, honestly."

"You're sure there's no issue between you two?"

"It's nothing he's done," you said softly, and after you swallowed hard, you finally admitted, "but... I'm a widow. I haven't been with anyone else since my late husband, and it's been years, now."

"You're a widow?" she repeated, and you nodded.

"We married young. But since he passed, I..." You shrugged, feeling tears welling in the corners of your eyes. As you wiped them away, you offered her a weak smile in an effort to ease how silly you were feeling. "I mean, that was my last serious relationship. It's been hard to figure out how to proceed from there."

"I'm so sorry," Peggy said softly, and the concerned look she wore was genuine. "Come here."

She wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her side where you sat, and you gave her a grateful smile. "You're sweet, but I'm fine, honestly. It's been so long. But it might've left me with just a little fear of attachment."

"You poor thing; I can't imagine," she said, rubbing your upper back comfortingly. "But it's alright that you feel like this; you shouldn't feel guilty about being slower to open up."

"I didn't say I felt guilty."

"Do you?"

A long moment passed in silence, and eventually, you said softly, "...I mean, honestly? Yeah. It sucks to not be able to figure out what it is I'm feeling. I… I can’t help but think Philip deserves better."

"We've all been there at one time or another. Don't beat yourself up."

"How did you know you loved your husband?" you asked, and she pursed her lips, thought on it for a moment.

"Well, I'm certainly no relationship expert, so take this with a grain of salt," she said, "but I've told quite a number of people I loved them in all my life, and it took me quite a few failed romances to figure out which ones were real."

"Then how did you decide what love actually was?" you asked hesitantly, and Peggy's gaze was absent, faraway, but her smile was tender.

"I realized I was in love when being with them meant more to me than my freedom," she said. "That's why they never lasted. I spent my twenties traveling the world, jumping from job to job and partner to partner."

"'Partner to partner'?" you interjected, an eyebrow raised.

She shrugged. "Partner, significant other, whatever you kids are calling it these days."

"We say boyfriend, usually."

She gave you an amused smile with that, though, turning to again meet your gaze. "Oh, no, you misunderstand me," she replied frankly. "They were rarely men."

"Oh!" Your eyebrows shot up. "Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to assume—"

"That's just fine. No need to apologize." She shrugged, but she looked entertained at how panicked you were, immediately trying to backtrack. "But anyway, I was only willing to settle down with my husband when keeping my lifestyle would've meant losing him."

Your smile was soft. "That's sweet."

"Oh, is it?" she asked, eyebrows raised. "Well, good. I half expected you to think I was talking nonsense."

Her candid surprise made you laugh. "No, I appreciate it. It's been nice to have someone to talk to about all this."

"I'm glad." She nudged your arm lightly, wearing a small smile. "And I know you'll be fine. Take as much time as you need to figure it out; I have a feeling Philip will be there waiting for you in the end."

-----

You didn't go back outside after that.

The weight of everything you'd just unloaded onto his aunt hit you like a freight train, and her words stuck with you. You were second-guessing everything that'd happened that weekend, replaying all the little things you took for granted: the enigmatic advice Georges had apparently given Philip when you first arrived at your office all those years ago; what his niece had heard him saying about you. His teasing comments, the stolen glances, the accidental, fleeting touches that lasted just a moment longer than they should've. It all added up to one larger picture that you weren't sure you wanted to see.

And your theory that you were there to make his ex jealous was blown wide open the minute you found out Philip had been the one to end things with Henriette. (No wonder she'd been trying to trudge up their old memories.)

You refused to think any further than that; you knew the conclusions you'd have to draw would make all this so much more real. And that thought scared you more than anything.

You were pacing the halls of the Hamiltons' first floor. The only reason you finally went upstairs was because one too many cousins had asked you where you were going — you’d been telling people you were headed up to get something from Philip’s room for nearly the past half hour.

That was how you found yourself seated on the end of Philip's bed, reeling from the afternoon's events.

You did retrieve something from your suitcase, ultimately. The deep-red, velveteen box was soft under your fingertips as you played with it anxiously, picking at the sides but never quite working up the nerve to open it. It wasn’t like it’d been that long since you opened it, either; it couldn’t have been more than a week, but this time, when you flicked it open, staring down at the gold band and its tiny diamond felt different.

What would John think if he could see you there?

Patsy was convinced he’d only want you to be happy, and that he wouldn’t mind who you were with. She’d tell you it was time to move on with your life. But did moving on have to mean leaving him behind?

And falling for someone else felt like abandonment of the worst kind. It felt like you were cheating on him, like you and he were falling out of love. As much as you still missed him, as much as you grieved for him, every day, the memory of what it felt like to be his slipped further away from your grasp.

You ran your fingers over the cold metal of the ring, and your hands shook as you slipped it onto your ring finger. For a fleeting moment, you could almost convince yourself that you were still somebody’s wife.

Light footsteps padded down the hall outside Philip’s room, and they were quiet enough that they didn’t snap you out of your reverie until the door’s hinges creaked. Your heart stopped.

And to your relief, the person who opened the door was just six-year-old William.

“Philip, are you…” He trailed off when he saw you on Philip’s bed, but he didn’t miss a beat. “Oh! Did you see Philip in here?”

“Hey, William,” you said, but your accompanying laugh held a hint of anxiety. “Philip isn’t up here; sorry. Last I saw him, he was out in the backyard.”

“Oh.” He blinked. “Can you help me find him? Daddy needs him, but I don’t wanna make him sad ‘cause I don’t know where Pip is. I think he’s hiding from us.”

“Yeah, sure; I’d love to help,” you answered, and your endeared smile was candid. His determination was almost making you forget about your ring entirely.

“Thank you.” He seemed more than ready to drag you out of Philip’s bedroom, watching you eagerly as you hesitated to stand and go with him. You’d hoped he’d go ahead and let you catch up with him momentarily, but he stood there and watched you expectantly where you sat on the bed, and you apparently had two options: take the ring off then and hope William didn’t realize it was a wedding ring, or wear it out and hope you can find a time to hide it discreetly. The only issue was that you had no pocket to leave it in.

“No problem; let’s go.” You ended up choosing the former. William’s eyes didn’t leave you as you popped the ring’s box back open, and when you heard him gasp, your miscalculation became obvious.

“Is that a wedding ring?” he asked, and your eyes widened.

“No! No, it… I mean yes, but—”

“When did you and Pip get married?” Oh, fuck. Your pulse was pushing into overdrive. “Why wasn’t I invited to the wedding? What about Mama and Pops?”

“We didn’t… we didn’t not invite you, but—”

“But I wasn’t there.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, stifling a groan when he wore a deep frown. “Did your parents come?”

“No, they—”

“Why didn’t you and Pip tell us?” he asked. “It was a special location.”

Special loca…? “Special occasion?”

“That’s what I said.” He wore a pout. “Well, now we’ve gotta go tell everyone, c’mon.”

He turned and started running, and you swallowed hard. Oh, shit.

“Wait, William, come back!” you called after him, and you scowled when he didn’t stop. You had to finish putting the ring away before you could start after him — going back out to his family with it would only spell disaster. “William?”

By the time you took the ring off, tucked its box back into your suitcase, it seemed he was out of earshot. When you reached the bottom of the stairs, he was nowhere to be found; he’d weaved between his family members’ legs until he was out of sight.

Well, you were certainly, thoroughly fucked.

You began to wade through the crowd in the kitchen, eyes darting around the floor for any sign of a retreating William, going through room after room to no avail, but your heart rate was steadily increasing with every moment you didn’t find him.

It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes until one of Philip’s family members approached you.

“Y/N?” Frances Laurens— no, Frances Henderson, who’d taken her husband’s name the previous summer, approached you from behind, and you spun around abruptly in surprise. “Hey, when were you going to tell us that you and Philip were engaged?”

Your throat tightened. “What?”

“William just told us.” She nudged you with a lopsided grin. “Congrats; welcome to the family.”

“Oh, no, there’s been a misunderstanding—”

“Wait, you’re getting married?” The William who interjected into your conversation was, unfortunately, not the one you were looking for. Instead, you followed the voice to find the younger Mulligan son standing with a beer.

“No, no, it’s not like… William just— well, not you William, William Hamilton—”

“Hey, William just told me you and Philip were finally getting married. What made you decide to tie the knot?” That was Georges, and your head jerked in his direction.

“Oh, thank god there’s going to be another woman at family dinners when he’s in town.” Angelica Hamilton approached from your left.

“Wait, what? Do you have a date for the wedding?” You hadn’t a clue which of the Lafayette sisters that was (well, you knew it wasn’t Henriette). “You better invite all of us. You might need a big venue to fit the whole family.”

Oh, god, you were in deep. It seemed William had managed to do quite a bit of damage without a whole lot of time.

“I need to talk to Philip,” you said, voice breathy. You knew you sounded winded, but his family all wore wide grins, patting you on the back or squeezing your shoulders — the Hamilton-Schuyler-Lafayette-Laurens-Mulligans were certainly a touchy-feely bunch.

“Yeah, where is your fiancé?” Georges asked, scanning the room.

“He’s not—”

“Hey, Philip!” It seemed he’d found him, yelling across the dining room, and Philip started toward you with his hands in his pockets, watching the crowd that’d formed around you curiously. “You ever planning on telling us you proposed? Or were you gonna wait till you had your firstborn, huh?”

Georges’s grin was wide as he shoved Philip affectionately, but Philip’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“William spilled everything. Congrats, you two,” Frances said, and when Philip met your eyes, you looked defeated.

“Oh, did he?”

“Relax, we’re all excited for you. No one’s mad that you hid it.” Apparently, you weren’t the only one who heard the tension in Philip’s voice as he glanced between you and Angelica warily, and she squeezed your upper arm with a smile. “It’s great news.”

“Yeah, no wonder you finally brought her home.” The Mulligan son— shit, his name was escaping you. Was it Wyatt? Winston? No, shit, what were you thinking? He was also William; how the hell did you forget—?

“I’m sorry, what exactly did Will tell you?” Philip asked hesitantly.

“He saw Y/N with the ring a little while ago. Not sure why you decided to hide such big news from us, but—”

“Right, can I have a word with my fiancée real quick?” He met your eyes with an urgent look, and you winced. “In private?”

“Oh, c’mon, it was an honest mistake; don’t be too hard on her,” Georges said. “Does it really matter? We were gonna find out anyway, so—”

“We’ll be back down in a bit.” Philip spoke through clenched teeth as he cut Georges off, walking toward you, and he grabbed you by the bicep, grip tight as he pulled you toward the doorway. Your breath caught when you stumbled forward. You were out of earshot before any of his family members could get another word in, and you struggled to keep pace with his long strides as he continued toward the staircase.

“Come on.” His voice was low when you reached the home’s entrance hall, and when he started upstairs to his room, you were quick to follow him. He locked the door behind you.

A moment passed in silence as he turned around to face you. The tension in the air was thicker than your ass.

He folded his arms.

“Care to explain why my entire family thinks we’re engaged?”

“It’s…” You rubbed your forehead as though it’d relieve your throbbing headache. “It was an accident. I swear it was; William just… he saw me with a ring, and he thought—”

“Why the hell did he think we were getting married? What’d you tell him?” Philip’s voice was rising as he spoke, and you had to swallow the lump building in your throat.

“I didn’t tell him we were engaged,” you defended. “I was just putting my ring back in its box, and he made an assumption. That’s it.”

“What ring?” he asked. “You aren’t wearing a ring. I haven’t seen you with a ring all fucking weekend. Are you fucking with me right now?”

“Of course not.” You huffed. “What, do you think I did this on purpose? That I wanted your family to think we were engaged?”

“I don’t know, did you?”

“No; why would I?”

“Oh, be honest, Y/N. You just agreed to come home with me this weekend so that you could fuck with me, didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry, do you really believe I’m just here to make your life harder? That I want to push you deeper into your stupid fucking lie?” you asked incredulously. “I came to cover for you. Because you told them we’d been together for two years.”

He scoffed. “Please, like you wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to mess with my personal life. Let’s face it; we both know you’ve never liked me.”

“We weren’t friends, but I’ve never had any sort of vendetta against you.” Your scowl deepened, and you shook your head in disbelief.

“You told me that you were the one person in our office who hated me. Word-for-word,” he retorted. “Did you do this to get back at me for using you as my fake girlfriend?”

“I don’t hate you.” He didn’t think that it was reasonable for your tone to be that defensive. “I've never hated you; I… I was just being dramatic. And even if I did have it out for you, I wouldn’t do this to your family.”

“Then why didn’t you tell William that we weren’t engaged?” he asked. “Hm? What the hell happened that my entire family managed to learn that you’d told him we were getting married in all of five minutes?”

“I tried to tell him we weren’t, but he was asking about the ring, and—”

“You should’ve told him it wasn’t an engagement ring!”

“I tried to! He asked if it was a wedding ring, though, and…” Your voice trailed off. The smallest shreds of a sob were building in your throat, and you were trying to speak through them, but your chest was tightening.

“And you didn’t set him straight?”

“It was a wedding ring, Philip. He stopped me before I could explain that we weren’t getting married, and by the time I could go after him, he was already downstairs. I lost him in the kitchen; I couldn’t stop him,” you said. “I swear, I tried to prevent this.”

A moment passed in silence. His gaze was absent, fixed on the floor, and he was shaking his head ever-so-slightly in disbelief.

“Why’d you have a wedding ring if you didn’t come here planning to fuck up my family life? If you didn’t wanna bury me further in this stupid lie I told to get my family off my back?” he asked. “Were you wearing the wedding ring?”

You nodded. “He came in, and I tried to hide it before coming downstairs, but—”

“Why the hell were you wearing a wedding ring?”

“I only put it on for a minute!”

“Why do you even have one? And why would you bring it home this weekend?”

“It’s…” Your jaw ached as you tried to keep yourself from crying. You blinked back the tears that stung the corners of your eyes and sat on the edge of his bed. You didn’t want him to see the old emotions that were breaking loose. “It’s old. I got it years ago.”

“What? Why?” The incredulity in his voice was making you cringe, and he threw his hands up in frustration. “What am I supposed to do with this, Y/N? You really expect me to believe that you wearing a wedding ring around my family was completely innocent? That you didn’t—?”

“I’m a widow, Philip.” You nearly had to shout to be loud enough to cut him off, and while he’d begun pacing in agitation, your words made him freeze.

He turned to you. “...You what?”

“I’m a widow,” you repeated softly, and his wide eyes met yours as he saw the tears building in them.

“I…” He started to reply, but his voice faltered. All the anger had been wiped from his expression, replaced quickly with surprise, apology, worry. “Shit, Y/N. I… fuck, I’m sorry, I had no idea.” His voice was quiet.

“Don’t be. You couldn’t have known.” You wiped at your left eye when the first tear rolled down your cheek. “It’s not like I ever talked about it.”

When he took a seat beside you on the bed, his hand came tentatively to cover yours. You drew in a shuddering breath. “Still. I’m sorry I… well, that I blew up like that. I didn’t mean to bring up your past like this; I—”

“It’s fine, Philip. Really.” You laced your fingers into his, squeezed his hand reassuringly. “No one expects a 26-year-old to be a widow. I don’t blame you.”

He nodded when you glanced up at him, and goosebumps ran up your arm when he swept his thumb over the back of your hand. “What was his name?” he asked quietly, and you pursed your lips.

“John.” You sniffled. “We met in high school, got married just after we graduated college.” Although you paused, he didn’t say anything, giving you room to pause, take a breath, and you knew that if you wanted to go on, he was there to listen. “We… god, we were so happy, for a while. I followed him to New York for college; I swore I’d never plan my life around a man, and I knew he wouldn’t ask me to, but I didn’t want to live without him. I was so sure that we wouldn’t break up, so I didn’t think we had anything to lose.”

Your voice was devolving into a croak as you went on, and you had to swallow your whimper when you came dangerously close to crying. He could hear your words breaking.

It caught you off guard when Philip wrapped an arm around your waist, pulled you into his side. The action was hesitant, and his grip on you was soft; he half expected you to recoil from his touch, but when you pulled closer, leaned against him, he held you close.

“He died almost two years after we graduated,” you murmured, cheek pressed against Philip’s shoulder. His shirt was damp from your slow, silent tears. “No one saw it coming. He was shot when someone broke into our house. It all happened in less than an hour, and then he was gone.”

Your voice broke altogether with your final few words. You could no longer keep down the sob in your throat, try as you might to keep speaking through it. You drew in a shuddering breath, but when you exhaled, you were crying audibly, tears flowing freely. “Shit, I… I didn’t mean to dump all of this onto you. You didn’t need to know all my…” —you hiccuped— “all my stupid fucking trauma, but—”

“Shh, relax. I’m not going anywhere,” he assured you, and the warmth rising in your chest wasn’t something you wanted to be able to explain when he turned toward you on the bed, wrapped his other arm around the back of your shoulders and pulled you into him. “C’mere. I’ve got you.”

As much as you were caught in your head, struggling to claw your way out of the memories you’d buried yourself in, you couldn’t have been more present in that moment. Philip smelled like the sun, like freshly-washed cotton, like lazy mornings after a long night of sleep; he smelled like something you couldn’t describe as anything other than warm.

And so you let yourself cry. You didn’t explain anything further; he wasn’t going to ask, didn’t need to know how you’d moved across the city within a week of John’s funeral to get away from everything that felt so painfully like him. He wasn’t going to pry. If you wanted to talk, wanted to tell him anything, needed someone who was just there to listen, that was your prerogative, and he wouldn’t try to force it. You were free to take your time, safe in his arms.

He rubbed your upper back, and your eyes fell shut.

“Thanks for being here,” you mumbled against the scratchy material of his button-down. “I… I’m sorry I made such a damn mess of your family life. I didn’t mean to; I swear, I—” You were cut off by a hiccup, a shuddering sob, and he held the side of your head against his chest, stroking your hair absentmindedly.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “You did nothing wrong. I’m gonna be just fine, alright? It’s you I’m worried about.”

You wore a watery smile at his words. “You’re too nice. I… I fucked up, and you don’t have to pretend you’re alright with it.”

“I’m fine. Honest.” Only when your breathing evened out did he lean back, lift your chin to look at him. He offered you a small, lopsided smile. “So, I guess we’re gonna have to go back down there and tell my parents we’re engaged, huh?”

“I guess so.”

“Don’t look so sad, princess; this is supposed to be a celebration.” The guilt weighing on your shoulders must’ve been written across your face, and as he nudged you lightly, his words made you laugh.

“Mmh, we’ve really hit a relationship milestone, haven’t we?”

“Looks like it,” he said. “So, what’s the story? How’d I propose? Was it oh-so-touching, or did I butcher it ‘cause I was an emotional mess?”

“Well, you had a whole speech prepared,” you informed him, and he raised an amused eyebrow.

“I did?”

“You did.” You nodded. “Only problem was that when you got down on one knee, you were crying too hard to be able to actually get through it. You were just so moved by how beautiful I looked that night, and you couldn’t keep your feelings in check when you thought about spending the rest of your life with me.”

“You sound like you’ve really thought this out,” he said. “Don’t tell me you’ve been fantasizing about it. I know how incredible and attractive I am, but I didn’t think we were on that level yet.”

“Of course not. Don’t worry.” You couldn’t contain your entertained grin. “This was all Theo’s fantasy that she told me while you were ignoring her. She’s still really convinced it’ll happen, so I guess now you have an instruction manual for your engagement with her.”

That made him laugh outright. “When Theo and I get engaged?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Now you’re really talking nonsense.” He shook his head, but as he eyed your expression, the tear tracks on your face, his brow furrowed with concern. “...Are you alright, Y/N?”

You nodded, swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” The calloused pad of his thumb ran over your cheek, wiped your tears away, and you found yourself staring. The look in his dark eyes was heavy; god, you could’ve drowned in it, and his eyes were watering, too, no doubt from watching you cry, from seeing how much pain you were in, how deep your grief ran.

He wished he could take that all away from you. If he could shoulder the burden for you, no matter how heavy, he’d have done it in a split second — even if you didn’t want him, even if you’d never look at him in the same way that he looked at you, he knew you, and he knew you didn’t deserve to suffer like this. He cleaned the smeared mascara from under your eyes with the end of his sleeve as though somehow, some way, that could alleviate your suffering.

And you couldn’t see all of that. But you saw how he looked at you. That much was unmistakable.

He held you as though, if he let go, you might break, and in that moment, part of you felt like you might. He’d never thought he’d really be holding you like that.

But there was so much care in his gentle gaze, although you had no way to know all that was going on beneath it. You felt safe, safer than you’d felt in a long time as he rubbed circles into the small of your back, shifting you onto his lap, and he was so close, his face just inches from yours. If you leaned forward just a little, you could kiss him.

And when your gaze trailed down to his lips, downturned in a concerned frown, as consumed in you as every other part of him, you did. You finally took the opportunity presented to you, and you didn’t intend to let yourself continue to squander it.

Sitting on his lap at the end of his bed, you kissed him.

[stale-cheezit]

Belt

Requested by @princessesareforsuckers : “Could you do a Philip Hamilton smut story that includes bondage” I dont know how i havent done this yet. i gotchu. thank you for your request!! 

Pairing: Philip Hamilton x Reader 

Word Count: 2,201

Warnings: smutt. bondage, oral (f recieving) fingering, slight overstimulation, orgasm denial, daddy kink, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) 

A/N: Requests are open! here’s the smut prompt list . yall might need holy water after this ik i did

A shiver runs down your spine as you step out of the shower. You wrap a towel around your body and walk towards your bedroom. Tonight you had a dinner with your boyfriend Philip’s parents. 

“Hey babe.” Philip says as you walk into the bedroom. 

“Hey love.” You smile back at him. You grab a pair of red lace panties and a matching bra out of your underwear drawer. Philip lets out a small chuckle, you hear his entire body flop against the bed. “Something wrong?” 

“You have to wear thoseeee! Y/NNNN!” Philip groans. 

“Yes I do. Do you have a problem with that?” You tease, a small smile tugging at your lips. 

“All I’m going to see in my head all night is you wearing those skimpy panties and that bra that makes your boobs look AMAZING!” Philip covers his face with a pillow. 

“Maybe that’s the point, darling.” You walk over and move the pillow, pecking his cheek before placing the pillow back over his face. 

“The things you do to me woman.” Philip mutters against the pillow. 

You smile and drop your towel, sliding on the panties. Your reflection stares back at you as you clasp your bra. For a while you haven’t been comfortable with your body. However recently you’ve learned to love all your body’s “imperfections.” 

Philips hands wrap around your waist and his lips connect to your neck. 

“Philip.” You warn, he groans against your neck. 

“You look so gorgeous.” 

“Thank you, love. No matter how much I’d love to let you continue, I need to get dressed.” 

“Fineee.” Philip presses one last kiss to your neck before letting you go. 

You grab a black skirt, a white top, and a cardigan out of the closet. You’re not going to a fancy restaurant. Just a small diner Philip used to go to as a child. However, you still wanted to dress somewhat nice. 

Once dressed you put on some thigh high stockings.  

“Babyyyyyy!” Philip whines, looking at you, “You’re so beautiful it’s not fair.” He stands up and cups your cheeks in his hands, leaning down to kiss you softly. You smile into the kiss.

“Thank you, Philip. You’re such a big baby.” You ruffle his curls and he pouts.

“That’s not what you were saying a couple nights ago.” Philip whispers in your ear. Thoughts of that night flood your memory. A blush rises to your cheeks and butterflies appear in your stomach.

“Mhmm. Now get dressed before you make us late.”

_____________

The entire car ride there Philip’s hand was rested inside your skirt on your inner thigh. You could hear your heart beating through your chest. A few times you shifted your hips to try and get his hand to move closer to your core, but every time he’d put his hand right back where it was. His palm gives your thigh a hard squeeze, causing a small moan to leave your lips. Philip tenses. It takes everything in him not to pull over on the side of the road and fuck you.

Soon you and Philip arrive at the restaurant. Philip opens the door for you and the two of you walk inside the restaurant.

“Philip! Y/N!” You hear his mother’s voice call. You turn to see Eliza and Alexander already seated in the corner of the restaurant. You make your way towards the couple. His parents stand up and give both of you a hug.

“How’ve you kids been?” Alexander asks.

“We’ve been good pops.” Philip motions for you to slide into the booth, so you’re sitting next to the wall.

“How’s work Y/N?” Eliza smiles at you.

“Busy, but I love it. ” You chuckle.

The four of you make small conversation. A little over half an hour goes by and and waitor brings your food to the table. Mid bite of your food Philip places his hand on your thigh, slowly trailing it up your skirt.

He’s really gonna do this in front of his parents.

You shoot a sideways glance at Philip as his hand inches further up your thigh. You squeeze your thighs together. However, his hand easily pushes in between your legs and hovers over your clothed pussy.

“So Y/N, how’s Philip been acting? I know he can be a troublemaker at times.” Alexander jokes.

You let out a small chuckle, “He’s perfect, Alex.” Philips finger traces over your clit. Your breath gets stuck in your throat.

“Are you okay, honey?” Philip asks.

You clear your throat, “Yeah I just had something stuck in my throat.”

Philips fingers start moving faster. You bite on your cheek to keep from making any noise. It takes everything in you not to roll your eyes back into your head and cum all over Philip’s fingers. Right when you’re about to cum Philip stops. You sigh, crossing your legs away from Philip as soon as his hand leaves your thigh.Your legs don’t stop shaking for a while. 

Your panties are soaked. It feels like forever before you and Philip are alone in the car, driving home. 

“You’re a fucking tease.” You mutter under your breath. 

“What was that?” Philip keeps his gaze on the road. 

“Nothing.” 

“Mhmm.” 

You watch the trees go by. Your eyes close and you remain that way for the rest of the ride home. 

“Y/N we’re home.” Philip says, opening your door and holding his hand out for you to take. You take his hand and the two of you walk into the house. You walk to your room and kick your shoes off, laying face down on the bed. Philip climbs on top of you and kisses the back of your neck. He sucks the skin under your ear lobe. 

“Philip.” You groan into the mattress. 

“You’ve been very naughty today, Y/N.” Philip whispers, sending shivers down your spine. 

“I-I haven’t done anything... You’re the one who’s been teasing me all day.” 

“Because you’ve been driving me crazy. That short skirt, you swaying your hips when you walk. Knowing that you’re wearing that lacy underwear...” Philip growls, kissing down your neck. A pool of wetness grows in your underwear. Your fingers grasp at the bed sheets and Philip quickly takes your wrists and pins them above your head. 

“Philip gimme a kiss.” You pout. Philip lets go of your wrists and lets you flip over. He quickly pins you back down an attacks your lips. Philip’s hands leave your wrists and start to tug at your shirt, pulling it over your head. Once it’s off you take this opportunity to tangle your fingers in his curls, giving them a slight tug. A low groan escapes his lips. His nails dig into your hips. The sound of him sucking on your skin, and your quiet moans fill the room. 

You reach down to unbutton Philip’s shirt but he grabs your wrists, “No touching unless I say so.” 

You nod and put your hands above your head, opening your legs slightly. Philip positions himself in between them and runs his hands slowly up and down your thighs as he sucks on the skin above your bra. 

“Can we try something?” Philip asks in between kisses. 

“Mhmm.” You nod, fighting back the urge to touch him. 

“Up at the headboard. Now.” He says. The sudden dominance sends butterflies to your stomach. You nod and sit at the headboard. Philip starts unbuckling his belt and pulls it off. You let your mind wander, anxious and dripping wet. His eyes look deep into yours as he makes makeshift handcuffs out of this belt. He puts them on your wrists. “Is this okay?” 

“God yes.” 

Philip tightens the handcuffs, grabs another belt and ties your hands above your head on the headboard. He gives them a tug to make sure you’re secure.  

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” You ask, tugging at the cuffs. 

“Don’t worry about it princess.” His lips continue kissing down your body before he reaches your skirt, “Lift your hips up.” 

You do as he says. Within seconds your skirt is off your legs and thrown across the room.  

“God you look so gorgeous.” Philip says, wrapping his fingers around the clasp of your bra and taking it off. He disconnects the straps from the cups so he doesn’t have to move your arms. Next he pulls your panties off, leaving you completely naked. 

“Please touch me.” You whine, pulling harder at the restraints. 

“Patience princess.” 

“Whyyy?!” 

“Give me attitude one more time and I’ll leave you here all night.” 

You whine and spread your legs further. Soft kisses are placed from your ankle to your inner thigh. Philip blows cool air on your pussy, causing you to shiver. 

“What do you want? Use your words.” Philip says, his mouth hovering over your pussy. 

“Y-Your mouth. Please Philip!” 

“As you wish, princess.” Philip’s lips attack your clit. 

“Yes! Aghh!” You moan, grabbing the headboard. Philip kitten licks your folds. 

“So wet for me... So wet for daddy..” Philip smirks and runs a finger up your slit before slipping two fingers inside. A high pitched moan leaves you as he quickly moves his fingers in and out of you while his lips suck harshly on your clit. Your whole body convulses with pleasure. Philip wraps his free arm around your thighs and holds you down. His fingers move at a relentless pace a

“Please don’t stop daddy! A-Agh I’m gonna cum!” 

Right before your orgasm rushes over you Philip removes his fingers and mouth. “You don’t get to cum until I say so.” Philip kisses you, you can taste yourself on his lips. 

“Please let me cum. Please Philip. Fuck I love you so much I need you please.” You whine. 

“Okay baby, but only because I love you so much.” Philip scoots back down and devours your pussy in his mouth. You throw you head back and moan, tugging at your restraints. Wanting nothing more than to pull his hair. 

Philip makes eye contact with you as he licks every inch of your pussy. 

“F-Faster please. Please make me cum!” You plead. 

Philip grows and starts eating your pussy more harshly. Sucking on your clit and absolutely destroying you. Your legs shake as your orgasm approaches again. 

“Cum for me princess.” 

Your orgasm hits and it has you seeing stars. Your eyes roll back. Philip doesn’t let up on his pace. He wraps his arms around your thighs, holding them open as he continues pleasuring you. 

“P-Philip! It’s sensitive- Fuck!” You moan. His pace quickens and you feel yourself hitting your second orgasm. Your fingers dig into Philip’s belt, your entire body shaking. Philip licks up your slit one last time before leaning up to kiss your lips. 

“Can you still take my cock princess? Or have you had enough?” Philip whispers, his lips tugging at your ear lobe. 

“Please fuck me.” 

“I’ll untie you if you promise to be a good girl.” Philip smirks, reaching for the handcuffs. The sight of him on top of you is slightly intimating, but arousing at the same time. 

“Please. Please I promise I’ll be a good girl. I promise.” 

Philip smiles and starts undoing the belts, freeing your hands. Immediately your hands go around his neck, pulling him down so you can press multiple kisses to his lips. 

“Stay here.” Philip orders, you nod. Philip gets off the bed and slowly unbuttons his shirt. You press your thighs together. “Keep them open.” You nod again and spread your legs. Philip removes his shirt and tugs his pants and boxers off his legs. Joining you back on the bed, positioning himself in between your legs. “Is this still okay?” 

“Yes.” You whisper, pulling him down to kiss him. Philip teases you with his tip before slowly pushing into you. He bottoms out, then pulls almost completely out of you, before bucking his hips back inside you. A strangled moan leaves your lips as Philip’s hips meet yours. He gives you no time to adjust, already sticking to his relentless pace. You hands cup Philip’s cheeks, your thighs starting to shake again as your third orgasm hits. “F-Fuck! Philip I’m so close.” 

Philip slows his pace, “Already? Darling I haven’t even been fucking you for that long. You must be so needy for daddy’s cock.” 

Both your hands reach behind you to grab at the headboard, “Mhmm aah!” You buck your hips into Philip’s, “Please go faster! A-Ahh!” 

Philip chuckles and returns to his faster pace. When your orgasm finally washes over you once more your vision starts to get fuzzy. Your legs shake relentlessly as you moan so many strings of swear words and gibberish. Philip continues fucking you senseless. 

“Hmph princess you feel so good, fuck.” 

You feel Philip’s cock twitch inside of you, his thrusts become sloppy as he cums inside of you. You grab Philip’s face and kiss him as he pulls out of you, moaning quietly against his lips. Both your chests rise and fall heavily. Neither of you say anything. Short but passionate kisses are shared between the two of you. 

“God I love you more than anything.” You whisper against Philip’s lips. 

[eatgraypes]

Taking It Slow

Character/Person : Thomas Jefferson

Pairing : Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Time : Modern

Reader’s Gender : Female

Side Note : i was listening to “She’s My Collar” by Gorillaz on repeat while writing the end and it was an experience

Warnings : hamilsquad cause they deserve their own warning, PEGGY SLUT SHAMING MARIA, mentions of sex

Possibility Of Having Another Part : no

Genre : Fluff

Request : Hi! Could you writte modern au fic where reader is Jeffersons gf and they're on some party from work. And she start talk with hamisquad and they click and Jeff notice, he come to her kiss her say something sweet and runs away. So reader has to deal with confused (and kinda terrified cuz: My god Jefferson?! Are you insane? Did he hurt you to make you date him or something?) hamisquad. And then they come home and lot of fluff. Thank you very much you're amazing! ( and sorry for bad english )

Word Count : 1870 ( my fics are slowly getting shorter and i hate it )

Summary : You make new friends at a house party Washington invited you to, and when Thomas sees you getting drunk with the people that hates him, he had to find a way to screw it up and have fun with it at the same time.

You shut the door to your boyfriend’s car with a slam. He raised an brow at you and reached across the driver’s seat to grab your purse, “was there a need to close the door that hard?”

You shrugged and tipsily plucked your bag from Thomas’s outstretched hand. “Are we goin’ in or are you gonna keep talkin’ to me?” You asked, barely able to stand straightly in your tall heels.

Thomas laughed and snaked his arm around your waist, “we’ve only been in the lot for a few seconds, darlin.’”

You groaned loudly at his excessive talking and ushered through the parking lot, hurriedly making your way over to the booming party that Peggy, a close friend of yours, was holding; dragging Thomas behind you.

Glancing around at the party from outside through the open door, you released Thomas from your hold and hopped into the party, immediately being met with the loud music and chattering.

“Y/N, you’re here!” You smiled at Peggy who swung her drink in your direction in acknowledgment of your presence. Quickly spinning around to plant a kiss on Thomas’s cheek, who had intentions of kissing longer, you sauntered over to Peggy, Maria, and Eliza who were currently dancing together, leaving Thomas upset at the loss of contact. You whistled and held up your arms, grinning, “well, well, what are you ladies doing on this fine night?”

Maria fanned herself in a joking manner as Eliza softly smiled, “oh! Nothing much, handsome! Just having fun with my girls,” Maria says, wrapping both of her slender arms around Eliza and Peggy, pulling them in.

As the four of your laughed, Peggy caught the slur in your voice. She tutted her head up in your direction.

“Did you already drink?” Eliza cut her laughter short and shot you a worried glance.

You waved a hand between you and Peggy and shrugged, “nah, just had one glass of wine.”

Maria scoffed, but before she could call the bullshit in your words, Peggy clicked her tongue, “uh huh, and Maria’s a virgin.”

“Hey!” Maria called, clearly getting flustered at Peggy’s accusation.

Peggy darted her eyes elsewhere, “hey. As a concerned roommate, scary noises come from your bedroom late at night.”

As Maria continued to protest at Peggy’s words, Eliza turned to you with a worried look cast over her face.

“If you need a ride home,” she linked her fingers together and smiled, “Alex and I can take you home.”

Before you could question who ‘Alex’ was, Peggy halted her teasing to respond to her sister’s offer for you.

“She came in with that tall guy, I think he’s her ride,” she says, removing her gaze from Maria’s slowly fading burning face to your arising burning face.

Maria laughed, her embarrassment subsiding, “she’s blushing! Who is this hot, mysterious guy?”

“First, he is the opposite of mysterious. Second, he’s my boyfriend.”

Peggy pressed a hand against her chest, feigning fake hurt, “and you never told us about him?”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“So you’re going to climb up my ass about my boyfriend, but you’re not going to ask who this Alex is?” Your eyes bore into Eliza, who smiled awkwardly and shrugged, digging her heels into the floor to pass it off as lightly dancing. Peggy and Maria parted their lips, shaping them into ‘O’s’ and replacing you with Eliza as their subject of teasing.

“Ooh, who’s Alex?”

“Boyfriend? Crush? Friend? Dare I say it, sex buddy?” Maria wiggled her eyebrows along with Peggy, who nudged Eliza in the side, whose eyes were wide in disgust.

“No! We’re taking it slow.” Her eyes kept darting over to your right shoulder, and you didn’t let it go unnoticed. You turned and searched for whoever Eliza get glancing at, until your eyes caught a sight of a young man with chocolate brown hair and a green jacket. He, too, kept sneaking glances at Eliza, as she did him. 

You smirked and turned your head back around, already meeting Eliza’s terrified expression and Peggy and Maria’s clueless ones. “Y/N, please don’t-”

“Slow? I’ll go ask him myself.”

You didn’t allow Eliza to get a word in, already strutting off to Alex, or who you assumed to be Alex. God help you if it wasn’t. He was accompanied by three other guys and a few drinks that surrounded them.

He already seemed to catch your eye, he grinned, and you smiled back.

“Alex?” You asked, plucking the cup from his hands and taking a sip. He raised an eyebrow and grabbed at your free hand, lifting it to his mouth and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“Who do I owe the pleasure to for giving such a pretty lady my name?” He flirted.

You bit back a laugh and cocked your head, mimicking the grin he put on seconds ago, “your girlfriend.”

His hand immediately retreated, ignoring the loud chorus of laughs erupting from the men around him. One slapped you on the back and you almost winced from the pain, instead smiling at the feeling of pride devouring you.

“Dude, you really just hit on your new girlfriend’s friend? Game over, man.” The one that slapped your back said, his face was decorated with freckles. Alex groaned and sent a smile over your shoulder, which you assumed was for Eliza, as he immediately stopped smiling when she looked away to continue talking to Peggy and Maria.

“Don’t tell her, please? I love her, and flirting just comes naturally, and I don’t want to ruin our relationship.” He pleaded. You pursed your lips.

Despite finding his words cute, you wanted to string this on for a little more.

“It comes naturally? Damn. Can’t imagine your flirting even when you’re trying.”

The three men lurched forward in their seats, hollering and laughing loudly.

“Peut-on garder sa?” /can we keep her?/ One says, but you couldn’t understand it as he was speaking in French. The other guy in the beanie laughed loudly, throwing his head back while Freckles teased Alex relentlessly, reminding you of how Peggy and Maria were teasing Eliza and why you walked up to him and his group in the first place.

Taking one more swig of the drink that you stole from Alex, you used the drink table for support, propping your butt against it.

“Eliza’s told me you’re taking it slow. Is it true?” You asked, grabbing the three other boys’ attention. Freckles bit down on his lip to silence his laughs while Frenchie and Beanie chuckled.

Alex slowly nodded, swirling his new drink in hand. Freckles shoved his shoulder while you laughed loudly, not convinced.

“Bullshit! How long have you dated?” You slurred.

Frenchie leaned forward, wanting to hear how the conversation would go, grabbing onto Beanie’s arm to keep him from falling flat on his face.

“Uh, four months. Why?”

You snorted, “she’s not innocent. She totally fucked you on your, like, third date right?”

Alex quieted as the other three stifled their laughs behind their hands, wanting to hear his response.

“.. Yeah.”

It seemed like hours of talking to Alexander and his circle. You had almost even forgotten about your own group until they sent Eliza over to try and get you to rejoin them. You drunkenly declined with arms around Lafayette and Hercules, grinning. You’d admit, the way you turned down Eliza’s offer was a bit rude, but the alcohol was scrambling your kind demeanor.

“Never have I ever.. Fucked in public.” Hercules said, cocking his head at you.

You gasped scandalously and threw a hand over your mouth, “me? Why, I’d never!”

The boys raised an eyebrow at you and laughed, clearly not believing you.

You laughed yourself and threw your head back, downing your shot. “Fine.”

“Never have I ever.. Had a really bad significant other.” You said, knowingly grinning at Lafayette who had just finished telling a story about his crazy ex before you started this game. He groaned and raised his shot pointedly at you, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty, connard.” /shithead/ He grumbled.

You laughed and watched Lafayette go through his shot, cheering and elbowing John in the ribs until Alexander, who’s cheers were particularly loud, quieted and forcibly gagged. Everyone’s laughs came to a short to stop and shoot confused glances at Alex, who had his eyes set on an approaching figure.

“Oh, great. Who invited him?” Alex sighed.

Oblivious to who Alex was talking about, you took a peek over your shoulder and smiled at another approaching figure.

“Babe!” You shrieked, the drinks getting to you.

“Babe?” Alex mimicked, taken aback.

Thomas approached you, arms wide, and smug smile, eyes subtly going from you to Alex. Holding you in his arms, he peeked over your head and at the three boys. John sipped his drink, trying to avoid the awkward tension while Hercules and Lafayette exchanged glances.

“We’re leaving soon, babe.” Thomas says, a smile accompanying his face. Suddenly, his eyes darted over to Lafayette.

“Gilbert,” he says.

Lafayette awkwardly lifts a hand and forces a smile, “Jefferson.”

Thomas wraps an arm around your waist, not acknowledging but noticing Alex’s dangerous stares.

“Please,” his eyes shoot over to Alex’s, smiling wider, “call me Thomas.”

“Right.” With that, Thomas pulls you closer and plants a kiss on your rose bitten cheeks. You smile and giggle, playfully shoving Thomas away when he compliments your appearance.

“Washington is calling me,” he says abruptly. 

You glance around, “I didn’t hear anything.”

But before Thomas could make another excuse, he smiles, kisses your forehead, shoots one more glance at the others, then runs off, getting lost in the crowd of dancing people. You smile at your boyfriend’s retreating form, then turning back around to be met with an array of shocked expressions.

“Um, what happened to ‘never have I ever had a really bad significant other?’“ Hercules asked, speaking up for Alex, who was brooding quietly.

You chuckled nervously, “he’s the best. I don’t understand?”

Lafayette drunkenly, yet calmly, strutted up to you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “Mon ami, if you are in danger blink twice.” /my friend/ You snorted, pushing him away and laughing into your hand.

“I’m not in danger, Laf.” You sputter.

Alex watches you horrifically, “how are you not! Are you being held captive?” Suddenly, he reaches into his pocket for his phone, already ringing up the police. You gasp and reach forward, snatching it out of his lazy grip and ending the call before they could pick up.

“Guys! I’m fine, I swear.”

Hercules narrows his eyes at you and glances over at John, who is still sipping his drink to avoid the situation.

“Thomas! What the hell was that back there?” You groaned, stepping into the car with your boyfriend’s help. He shrugged, “nothing.”

You glare at him, “nothing? Alex uninvited me to their next hangout and John had to reinvite me. Twice!”

He chuckled and turned the key in the ignition, placing a hand on your knee. You pushed his hand off of your leg and huffed, “nuh uh, no love for you.”

“Baby,” he says but you cut him off. “Don’t ‘baby’ me.” You slur. 

tjeffs did not get the suck that night

[hamimagines]

Girls Like You (Philip Hamilton x Reader)

(A/N: So this is a repost of sorts because I accidentally deleted this fic....whoops. But that’s okay because I got to edit a bunch of little bits and add an extra scene to make it better! I don't remember much from the original author’s note except that when I wrote this fic I had Jordan Fisher as Philip in mind rather than Anthony Ramos, so do what you will with that info. Enjoy!)

Song - Guys My Age // Hey Violet

TW: smut, age difference

You rang the tiny bell on the counter and served yet another red-eyed college student. You were only two hours into your shift at The Brewhouse -- the campus’ very own student-run coffeehouse -- but you’d guess that upwards of fifty cups of caffeine paradise had passed from your hands already. At least it wasn’t exam week. Quite the opposite, it was the first day of classes for the majority of students, including you.

“Hey, Y/N?” Your coworker Tyler tapped you on the shoulder. You tilted your head towards him but kept your eye on the latte you were making. First rule of being a barista: always keep your eye on the latte. “Can we switch, and you take over register for a bit?” Tyler continued. ”There’s a line now. You know how they make me anxious,” he said softly.

You smiled and handed him the finished drink. “Sure thing, buddy.”  You turned around and wiped your hands on your apron quickly before greeting the next customer.  Several students behind her, a younger man caught your eye. He was staring at his phone with his other hand tucked into his pocket. It was a stance most people took when waiting in line. This boy had dark skin and even darker hair. In the suit he was wearing, he looked incredibly attractive. The fact that he was even wearing a suit while at college probably meant he was on his way to an internship of some kind, meaning he was successful, meaning triple the attractiveness points.

You watched him casually while ringing up other customers until finally, he was to the front of your line. He smiled at you with a healthy dose of charm and slid his phone back into the pocket of his dark dress pants. “Hi there!” you said in your perky work voice, “What can I get you?”

“Uh, just get me a black coffee in your largest size.”

“Sure thing.” You picked up a large cup. “I like it black too,” you added, trying to make conversation with this Grecian god. He pushed his square glasses up and smiled like he wasn’t quite sure of you. “Can I get a name for the order?”

He looked down for a moment like he had to think seriously about what his name actually was. Maybe he wasn’t as smart as his suit. “Um, Philip.”

You nodded and scribbled his name down next to his order. As Philip stepped to the side, you quickly wrote your number down as well. You’d never been shy when it came to flirting with boys, and Philip was incredibly fine.

Tyler gave you a look when he picked up Philip’s cup and turned it over to read the order. You were busy with another customer when Philip got his drink so you didn’t get to see his reaction.

Once the line had disappeared, you turned to Tyler. “So…” you prompted. Tyler stared at you blankly. “Did he see the number?”

“Oh, he saw it,” Tyler laughed.

Your face dropped. “Oh no, what did he do?”

“I’m not telling you.” Tyler grabbed a rag and pretended to wipe the counter down.

“Oh come on. Please?” you begged.

“Nope. You’re just gonna have to wait and see if he texts you.”

You didn’t have to wait long though because later that day you saw Philip again. He was in your evening calculus class, the one you happened to be late to on the first day.  

Philip was leaning against the professor’s desk at the front of the classroom. You smiled at him as you walked past to sit by the only person in that class who you already knew. Jenna smiled and patted the spot next to her.

“Late on the first day? Really Y/N?” she teased.

You shrugged and pulled out the book that you were told to buy for the class. You were trying to act casual despite feeling the entire classroom watching you because you walked in late. “I’m barely late. Besides, the professor isn’t even here yet.”

Jenna furrowed her brow. “Uh, yes he is. Who do you think you just walked past? You interrupted him introducing himself to the class.”

You turned wide-eyed to the front of the classroom. Philip glanced at you briefly, but he didn’t glare or even stare. He started to address the class. “Anyway, as I was saying. I’m Professor Hamilton and welcome to Calculus BC. This can be a tough course so I’m proud of you all for signing up for it. I hope at least some of you stick around,” he joked. His gaze traveled to you, and you quickly looked down. You could be pretty awkward sometimes, but this was one situation you never expected to find yourself in.

“Now, before you ask,” he continued, “am I too young to be a professor? The answer is: probably. But like you guys, and anyone interested in higher levels of math, I’m ambitious. I graduated from college when I was 19. I taught in public high school for four years, and a private school for two before I took the job here. You can do the math on that one. I hope.” He winked at the class, and you were reminded why you’d given him your number as your skin started to feel hot. You could definitely mark this down as the first time a math joke turned you on. 

The class continued on like any would. Professor Hamilton wasn’t the type to actually try and teach on the first day, which meant you had plenty of time to consider your sins. Giving your number to one of your professors had to be breaking some rule, but he was only 25. That was record young for a professor, especially a math professor. You considered talking to him about it after class, but that could be even more awkward. 

Although, you didn’t mind the idea of spending a little extra time with the professor. Your new knowledge of his status did nothing to smash the crush you’d already developed on him. Of course, it would go nowhere, but there was no shame in looking. Your eyes traveled from his face down to his chest and arms. He had just the right amount of muscle. Not so much that you felt uncomfortable looking at him, but there was definitely more than nothing there. It didn’t help that halfway through the syllabus he took his blazer off, making it ten times easier to see his biceps through his thin dress shirt. Sometimes he crossed his arms, and you had to remind yourself how to breathe. He almost caught you staring at him several times, but you always looked away. 

By the time the class ended, you decided that you should stay behind. Whether it was to clear the air or stare a little longer, you still weren’t sure. You told Jenna to go ahead of you, and once everyone had left, you turned to your new teacher.

“Phi- I mean, Professor Hamilton?”

He looked up from his laptop and smiled. “Oh! Hey, stranger.”

“Look, I’m really sorry.” You pulled your bookbag higher on your shoulder. “If I had known you were a professor, I never would have…”

“Flirted with me?” he supplied. A smile was still on his face. He was enjoying your embarrassment too much.

“Yes, but to my defense, you look like a student.” 

Philip laughed and leaned back in his chair. “I know.” 

“You said your name was Philip instead of Professor Hamilton!” you defended again, but you were smiling now.

He threw his hands up. “I know! This is my first time teaching at a college! I didn’t know if professors always called themselves professors. It seemed a little pretentious.”

You were broken up with laughter now. “It is,” you choked out.

 “I have to admit, though, I admire the boldness.” 

You shrugged. “It was just writing my number down.” 

Philip scoffed. “Yeah. And the things you said.”

“What things?”

“You ‘like it black’?” He made air quotes and then gestured to himself.

Your mouth dropped. “Did you- oh god no! No, I was really talking about the coffee! I like black coffee just like you do!”

Philip gave you a disbelieving look. “Sure, Y/N.”

You tilted your head to one side. “You know my name?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s on the roster.” He fumbled to pick the piece of paper up from his desk. 

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” You tried to laugh, but couldn’t keep the disappointment out of your voice. Duh. You were his student. 

Philip smiled. “It was also on the cup next to your number.”

You lifted your head up and met his eyes. For a moment, you forgot about the lines between the two of you. The lines you shouldn’t, couldn’t cross. “So, you did look at it.” You smirked and crossed your arms. “Were you going to text me?”

“That would be...really unprofessional,” he said slowly.

“Right.” You bit your lip, turning away from him. “See you later, Professor.”

When you were a fair distance away from the classroom, you started to giggle and happy-dance. You had limits and you knew that you would never actually be with Philip, but there was never shame in joking around and having fun.

A few weeks of harmless crushing went by fast. You hadn’t had a one-on-one conversation with Professor Hamilton since the first day, but that didn’t stop you from checking him out during class on Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays. You’d already learned most of the material, and you were doing well in the class so daydreaming a little wasn’t hurting your grade.

Sometimes he came by The Brewhouse during your shifts, and you’d always write ‘Philip’ on his cup even though you’d finally gotten into the habit of calling him Professor Hamilton. He always acted disappointed that Tyler never wrote his number on the cups. 

It was almost like a routine that the two of you worked through: always trying to stray from flirting, but never quite being successful. That routine broke when he asked you to stay after class one day.

“Whatcha need?” You hopped onto the table of the front row. Your legs swung back and forth.

Philip cleared his throat and looked at you. “I need a UTA,” he said surprisingly seriously. Most of the time, Philip kept things light-hearted with you. 

“A what?”

“An undergraduate teaching assistant. I think you’re the girl for the job.”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “Isn’t that usually a job for senior students?”

“Juniors do it all the time, so I’m told.”

“Why me?” you asked cautiously.

Professor Hamilton blinked like he wasn’t expecting the question. “You’re a good student, we get along well, and I believe that you could handle it.”

You stepped closer and searched his dark eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Philip.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

You started to move around the classroom. “It’s a classic move. The hot young teacher meets an even hotter young student.” You gestured to yourself and winked at him. “This teacher proceeds to get close with the student, make them feel comfortable with them, and offers reasons to spend more time with the student. Once the student is seduced, they sleep together. Then the teacher always, always, turns out to be some psycho who’s obsessed and kidnaps the student.”

Philip raised his eyebrows. “Is that so?” You nodded confidently. “And I’m guessing I play the role of the hot young teacher?”

“Some would say.” You turned around and walked to the top of the auditorium-style seating.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Y/N.”

You faced him again. “What do you mean?”

“You think I’m asking you to be my TA as some big ploy to get closer to you. I’m just gonna choose to ignore what you’re accusing me of.” You looked down, slightly ashamed. You had been joking, but the conversation took a serious turn. Philip walked up the steps to meet you. “I asked you because you’re a hard worker, and one of my smartest students.”

You avoided his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. I only know this stuff because I took the class in high school. I just decided not to take the AP test. It’s not like I’m a genius or something.”

“Give yourself some credit,” he refuted. “This material would have been difficult for a high schooler.”

You considered for a moment. “What would I do as a teaching assistant?”

Philip simpered and took a step back. “You would answer students’ questions when I’m busy, help me grade papers, and any other things I need you to do.” Your mind pictured some of the ‘other things’ before you could stop yourself. “Basically, just take some of my workload off.”

You bit your lip and looked at Philip seriously. He stared back. Several moments of silence passed between you, but eventually, you relented. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

Philip held his hands up defensively. “That’s all I’m asking.”  He walked down the stairs, and you followed after him.

“Do I need to fill out an application or something?”

The professor was putting his laptop into his briefcase. “Nope, just let me know when you’ve made your decision.”

“Okay.” You watched him pack up his things for a moment, not wanting to leave but not knowing what else to say. “I’ll be leaving then.”

Philip slung his briefcase over his shoulder. “Want me to walk you back?”

You were taken aback by his offer. “That’s okay, you don’t need to,” you said awkwardly.

Philip chuckled, “Relax, Y/N. I’m still not trying to seduce and kidnap you. I have to stop by my office and junior housing is on the way to the main building.”

You let out a steady breath. “I’d love that. Thank you.” Philip nodded and opened the door for you. “I’m sorry if it seems like I’m accusing you. You seem nice, but a girl can never be too careful, right?”

“I totally understand, and I’d never take advantage of you.” He followed you out the door.

You nodded thoughtfully. “I believe you.”

“Besides,” Philip smirked, “If I wanted to get into your pants, I’d have succeeded by now.” He walked ahead of you casually. You stood in the hallway, too shocked to move at first, but quickly laughed and followed him down the hallway  

“A teaching assistant? Since when did you want to be a teaching assistant?” Jenna asked. She had come over to your apartment to watch TV, as if she didn’t have her own flat screen. 

“Yeah, you don’t even like math. You literally told me two weeks ago that you’re only taking it because your biochemistry degree requires it,” your roommate Emily added.

“I know.” You pulled a glass out of the cupboard and took the water pitcher out fo the fridge.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the incredibly fuckable Mr. Hamilton, would it?” You could hear the smirk in Jenna’s voice.

You poured water into your cup. They were in the other room, so they couldn’t see the coy smile that appeared on your face. “No. I just think it would be a good opportunity,” you contested. Your defense was weaker than Wendy in Kubrick’s Shining, and Emily and Jenna saw right through it.

“Yeah,” Emily laughed, “Sounds like a bangin’ opportunity.”

You grabbed the bowl of popcorn sitting on the counter and your drink and walked into the living room. “You guys are ridiculous,” you said, sitting between them on the couch you and Emily had picked up off the street last year.

“Oh c’mon, at least show me a picture of Professor Fuck Me.” Emily raised her eyebrows suggestively and you groaned.

“I have a picture of him on my phone!” Jenna chimed in excitedly.

“What the fuck? Why?” You asked her, but she just shrugged and handed her phone to Emily. Her eyes widened when she saw the screen.

“My god, Y/N. Please have sex with your teacher.”

You peeked at the picture. It was a good shot. He was leaning against his desk with his arms crossed and a Prince Charming smile on his face. “You don’t think that be weird? Or wrong?” 

Jenna rolled her eyes. “He’s 25, Y/N. Only a little more than years older than you. No, it would not be weird.”

You shrugged. “I guess, when you say it like that, it doesn’t seem strange.”

“Sleep with him! Sleep with him!” Emily started to chant with Jenna joining in not long after. You rolled your eyes at your friends and turned up the volume on the TV. However, being Professor Hamilton’s TA was looking more and more appealing.

You walked into Philip’s office and slung your coat over the back of one of his chairs. It was 8 at night on a Thursday in October. You had just gotten out of Philip’s class, and you were in for a long night. “What’s on the agenda for tonight, sir? 

“I told you not to call me that.” Philip turned around with two mugs of black coffee in his hand. He set one down on your side of the desk.

You picked it up gratefully. “Aye aye, Captain.” You gave him a mock salute and sat down in the large armchair that he kept in his office.

The professor rolled his eyes and set a large stack of papers down on his desk. “Calc 1 just had a midterm.”

“Oh, fuck me,” you groaned at the sight of all the work you two had. Philip raised his eyes at you. “I mean...like, uh-” You didn’t have to finish explaining yourself because he burst out laughing.

“Y/N, you know you can swear in front of me, and you can call me Philip.”

“Sure thing, Mister Captain Professor Sir.” You winked at him, and he started smirked again, shaking his head. Philip opened one of the drawers on his desk and handed you a red pen and half of the tests.

“What are we in the mood for tonight?” he asked, opening up his laptop. 

You tapped the pen against your lips, thoughtfully. “R&B.”

Philip grinned, “Perfect.”

Music started to fill the room. You took a sip of coffee and flipped over the first of the dreaded tests.

“Hey, Philip?” you asked about one hour later.

He looked up from his work, smiling at your use of his first name. “Yeah?”

“Can you come look at this?” He nodded and walked behind your chair, leaning over to look at the paper. You felt the warmth of his breath on your shoulder and forgot what you needed to tell him for a moment. “What is it?”

“Oh!” You shook yourself out of the daze. “Look at this problem.” You pointed to the paper with your pen. “They got the right answer, but they didn’t use the method you did in the answer sheet. I’m pretty sure it all checks out though.”

Philip furrowed his brow. “Can I?”

You gave him a confused look. He gestured to the paper. “Oh yeah. Sure.” You handed it to him, and he pulled it closer to his face, squinting his eyes. You watched as those dark brown orbs scanned the page. He stuck his tongue out, and you found yourself staring at in a way that was creepier than you were willing to admit. 

Philip scratched his neck. “I don’t think I get what you mean.”

You sat up straighter so that you could see the paper as well. “See, normally you’d use the Washer Method to find the volume, right?” You looked up and realized how close your face had gotten to Philip’s. Your mouth went dry. “Well...they’re still using, um, integrals, but they sort of separated the figure instead of doing it all in one, ya know, antiderivative. It still works though. That is the volume.”

“Are you okay?” Philip asked. 

You swallowed hard. “Mhm,” was all you could manage. He was close enough for you to smell the mixture of cologne and coffee. The scent caused an ache to start in between your legs.

Philip sighed and nodded. “But the point of the lesson was to learn the Washer Method.”

 “True,” you agreed, “But don’t you think you should give the student credit for using other knowledge to find the answer anyway?”

“Someone found a bit of passion.” Philip smiled at you with pride. You looked down and blushed. “No, it’s not a bad thing! You’re right. Give her full credit, but make a note about the simpler way so she doesn’t have to do all this work again. Good catch, Y/N.”

“Thank you.” You went to take the paper back from him and your hands touched in one of those romance novel moments you always wished would happen to you. Your heart stopped. You knew you should probably move away from Philip before this got awkward, but the way he was staring back at you had you hooked. You moved forward slightly, testing the limits. Your lips just barely grazed against his.

Philip took a shaky breath, ”I’m...I’m sorry, I-” You pushed yourself up and kissed him.

Philip reacted almost instantly, coiling his fingers into your hair and pulling you closer. You felt a month of sexual tension fading away. You moved to sit on your knees so your were more level with Philip and put your hands on his face.

“Wait,” He pulled away suddenly. “We can’t do this, Y/N.”

You took a small moment to catch your breath. “Why not?”

Philip walked around the chair and rubbed his hands over his face. “It’s not right. I’m your teacher.” He turned away from you, took his glasses off, and set them on his mostly empty desk

You remembered what Emily and Jenna had said. “You’re only five years older than me. Not even that much. It’s not that weird.”

He turned around and faced you. You got up and walked over to him, taking his shaking hands in yours. “It wouldn’t be professional,” he stammered.

You leaned close to his face. “I won’t tell,” you whispered. Philip’s eyes poured deep into yours. You reached your hands up to his collar and started to undo the buttons of his dark shirt.

“This is wrong,” he said, but his fingers pressed into your hips anyway.

You grabbed onto his now open shirt and pulled him closer. “Please, Philip?” you pleaded.

He looked down at you and smoothed his hand over your hair. His eyes searched yours for any signs of hesitance, but there was none. “Come here,” he whispered roughly.

You crashed your lips against his, molding your body to his. Philip’s hands pressed into your back, and his tongue slipped into your mouth. Without breaking contact, he flipped you two around so that the back of your thighs were pressing into his desk. You pulled away for air and lifted your shirt over your head before connecting with him again. Your hands found their way to his shoulders, and you pushed his shirt down. It was so nice to feel the muscles that you’d been staring at for weeks under your hands. You let them roam all over his chest and arms.

Philip’s hands ran up your thighs to your bare sides. His lips moved to your jaw until his mouth was right by your ear. One of his hands took your hair and pulled your head back while the other slipped underneath your bra. “Do you know how hard it’s been having a student like you?” he whispered. Your breathing was shallow and clipped, and you leaned on your hands to support yourself. “You’re gorgeous and funny and you have this amazing smile. Every time you walk in my classroom it’s like you’re teasing me.”

You laughed airily. “Do you know how hard it is having a teacher like you and not being a tease?”

Philip smiled. “You’re a jerk,” he whispered before kissing you again. Your hands moved down to his pants. You started to undo the buckle while you took his bottom lip between your teeth lightly.

“You’re sure about this?” he asked again. It was pointless to ask. You’d already decided the moment you met him.

You nodded vigorously. “There’s a condom in my bag.”  Philip stepped away and walked over to your bookbag and started to rummage through it. While he was busy, you stood up off of the desk. It was difficult to stay standing with this light-headed feeling. You unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down. Deciding to leave your underwear on, for now, you sat back on the desk. Philip turned around with a condom in his hand. His eyes widened slightly at the sight of you.

Philip walked over to you with determination. He grabbed your knees and pushed your legs apart. You bit your lip and watched as he pulled his erection out. Philip opened the condom and rolled it on. He hooked two fingers underneath your panties and pulled them to the side. He positioned himself at your entrance and teased you with his tip.

You rolled your eyes and dug your nails into the edge of the desk. Philip smirked and slid into you. You hooked your leg around his waist, letting him push deeper. You draped one arm across his shoulders and let your head fall forward onto him.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Great,” you breathed. “Keep going.” Philip rocked his hips gently as you adjusted to feeling him inside you, a feeling you’d needed for a long time. He gripped your thighs, letting his thumbs rest between them. He pushed you back and pulled you forward on the desk to meet his motions. You pushed your mouth against his chest to quiet your moans. It was late so you doubted anyone was nearby, but it was good to be careful. Your nails scratched the skin on his back. Philip groaned and moved faster. He brought his thumb up to his mouth and licked it before pressing it against your clit and moving it back and forth.

You threw your head back. “Oh fuck, oh Jesus, fuck yes. Jesus fucking Christ, right there.” Philip raised his eyebrows at you. You pushed sweaty hair out of your face. “You said I could swear in front of you.”

Philip smiled and ducked his head into the crook of your neck. Your hands splayed against his lower back. He bit into the skin on your shoulder. You moaned loudly. He was inside of you, on top of you, and all around you. All you could focus on was Philip as a fire burned deep in your abdomen. Your thighs started to quake uncontrollably.  Philip lifted his head up and pressed his forehead against yours. You stared at him, your teeth gritting against the sensations you were feeling. You gripped his hips tightly, desperate to ground yourself. Philip pressed his thumb into your clit just a little harder, and it was enough for you to dissolve into pleasure.

Your body instantly became overly sensitive. Every movement and every caress doubled in intensity. Philip stilled inside you, giving you a break and opting to kiss your neck and chest instead. When your breathing was normal again and you’d come down from your high, he started to move inside you again, slowly at first but quickly building speed. You smiled and wrapped both of your legs around his waist. It wasn’t long before you felt pressure building in your abdomen again, and you could tell by his firm but quivering grip on you that Philip was feeling it too. You pulled him in for a kiss that caused shockwaves to course through you again. Philip moaned against your lips, and seconds later you felt him twitching inside of you, his warm cum spilling in. 

You both lay there for a moment, breathing heavily and staring into each other’s eyes. The weight of what had just happened crashed around the both of you.

You had just slept with your professor.

[chanelhamitlon]

i mean 10|| Philip Hamilton x Reader

word count: 900+

warnings: mentions of sex, nudes idk, lack of proofreading, cursing

A/N: I just saw this in tiktok and It lead me to make a fic about it 🙈 this is pretty short lol

You sat on the couch as Philip left to see his friends. You just got home from a trip to Greece and you let him see his friends for a while. Of course, watching How I Met Your Mother for the 5th time got boring. You started thinking of ways to annoy your best friend so you start spamming her with random tiktok vids, no matter the vid or the context, you just spammed her like theres no tomorrow. Which lead you to calling her.

'Y/n what the fuck?? dont you have a boyfriend to bother?"

'Philip's out for the day, hes with his friends'

'Probably got tired of your bullshit HAHAHA'

'Maam-'

'You bored?'

'Obviously'

Suddenly the doorbell rang. You remembered that you ordered new lingerie last week while coming home from Greece. You propped your phone on the table getting the door. The door opened to reveal a slightly toned delivery guy with the Amazon uniforms bright blue and black colors on his shirt. It was a rather big box of lingerie since it was on sale and why not treat yourself. You did the usual when getting a package delivered and said goodbye to the delivery's guy. You go back to your best friend staring at her phone possibly scrolling through tiktok. You snapped her out of the video she's watching to tell her:

'I bought a shit ton of lingerie from amazon holy shit'.

With your best friends attention onto you now, you opened the box, making sure to not cut through anything inside. You look at the first piece on top, opening the plastic, it was a black two piece with detachable knee high mesh stockings. 'Y/n that looks so good!! Philip's gonna freak!'. You now had a wave of confidence flow through you. This is definitely gonna make sex interesting. You rumage through all of what you bought, showing your best friend each delicate piece if fabric.

The call ended after a couple of hours of just chatting and you trying one one piece for her trusted judgement. You were just cleaning up the little mess you made with all the fabric on the sofa. You each place them back in the box with the intention of hanging them later. You watched a little bit more How I Met Your Mother till you got a message.

Pip👁👅👁: Heyy babygirll, im gonna be here longer than i thought, they invited me to drink out :(( imy so much

Y/n😽💅: Babyyy miss u too!! just get home safely and i'll be ok :)) love uu 😻

Pip👁👅👁: Love you too baby :))

You prop down your phone to get back to the episode your on. It gets boring to do this over and over again, so you decide to pull out your phone and scroll through tiktok. You come across this one video that gave you an idea. You just bought new lingerie and maybe you could snap a couple of pics in them while trying them on.

For once you felt confident to maybe send Philip a little something while he's away. You try on a couple of pieces deciding which few you're going to send pictures in. You look at yourself in the mirror, you were wearing a blue lace piece covering just the right parts. You remember looking at this particular outfit on the website, feeling the worst that might happen is that your fat is going to just overflow out or whatnot. It was actually a really good fit. You snap some pics of yourself in this and maybe some more in the pink and red fit you tried on earlier. You only needed 10 pics anyways.

In the middle of your mini photoshoot, your phone chimed. It was your landlord saying the due of the rent and whatnot. You replied with a simple ok and that its Philip's turn to pay, it should be within the month. You quickly returned to your mini photoshoot, signaling yourself that time flew and its already 6:00 pm. Philip should be home around 11:30 maybe.

Once you had at least 30 photos, selecting the few 10 and deleting the others was pretty easy. 3 photos in the blue one, 4 photos in the pink one, and 3 other in the red one. You got dressed properly and went to the laundry room to wash the lot of lingerie you had on your hands. You had time to make a little dinner so you decide to make some chicken wings, of course following a recipe on your phone. You had to make sure Philip was maybe a bit tipsy before you do what you were going to.

About 3 hours passed and you were already on your way to bed when you decide to text him.

Y/n😽💅: Philippp!!

Pip👁👅👁: Y/nnnsn

Y/n😽💅: Choose a number between 1-10

Pip👁👅👁: whYyYyayYyY

Y/n😽💅: 🙈

Pip👁👅👁: 4??

Y/n😽💅: *sent 4 photos*

You finally sent it, waiting for Philips response was kinda scary considering its your first time sending him risqué images. You wouldn't knoe how to react.

Pip👁👅👁: I MEAN 10!!!

BABE I SAID 10 SEND SOME

MORE

Y/n😽💅: come home to see more 🙈

You see Philip read what you said, he didn't reply which made you question whether he would rush home to you or hang out with his friends for a little while longer. Nevertheless, you were waiting.

You were reading a book when the key shift at the front door which lead you to peep outside. Philip had his curls all over the place. He'd been rushing for sure. When he saw you leaning on the doorway to your bedroom, he looked like a child just got their christmas gift early.