#phd hoe life

[thesargasmicgoddess]

I may be at the point in my doctoral and hoe life where I just throw up trashy nudes here because I no longer have the time or capacity to worry about lighting and creativity in my hoe photos 🤔

I think this is a valid method of measurement for how frazzled I am in my life right now 🤣

[love-belle]

loved you three summers !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's living her dream and he's just her biggest supporter.

or

for when you know it'll be them, forever and always. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hope u like it!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3 requests are still open!!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, yourbestfriend and 357,825 others

pierregasly missing this one and her astonishing but understandable lack of enthusiasm about life

tagged yourusername

5,528 comments

username she's so pretty oh my god

username genuine question can pierre fight

-> yourusername no he cannot

-> pierregasly stfu yes i can

username she's so me

username THIS COUPLE OMG

username in love with their relationship like ❤️❤️❤️❤️

landonorris missing my uno opponent

-> yourusername miss making you cry during uno

-> landonorris IT WAS ONE TIME LET IT GO

username i want her

yourusername missing u and ur annoying gossip too ig

-> pierregasly don't act like u don't text me everyday ASKING for gossip

-> yourusername lies

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 57 others

yourusername duality of student life

26 comments

landonorris can u even handle that much alcohol ?

-> yourusername says the one who passed out after drinking tequila

-> landonorris I WAS TIRED OKAY

danielricciardo i would drink colourful shit in the first picture

-> yourusername my dude that's phenolphthalein and methyl orange

lilymhe missing u so bad rn

-> yourusername too real missing my wife :///

carlossainz55 please call pierre he's crying

-> pierregasly STFU NO IM NOT

-> yourusername HELP OMG

pierregasly TOTALLY not crying because i love you!!!!!!! NOT at all!!!!!!!!!!

-> yourusername ofc!!!!!!!!! i believe u!!!!!!!!

pierregasly i love you ❤️

-> yourusername je t'aime ❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 796,327 others

pierregasly when she's in love with you AND a phd student

tagged yourusername

4,691 comments

username HELP THAT'S SO CUTE

username oh my god i want this?????? so bad?????

username I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

landonorris proof that y/n is secretly a hopeless romantic

-> yourusername don't spread misinformation x

-> pierregasly she literally sent me 56 messages saying she loves me

-> yourusername and ur blocked.

username THESE BITCHES SO IN LOVE IM SICK

username pls be mindful of the single people on this app 🙏

username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ about them

danielricciardo that skeleton in the last slide in so me like i can't explain it

-> pierregasly "that's daniel idk why or how" is what she said when she sent that to me

-> yourusername and i spoke nothing but the truth

yourusername who said im in love with u?????

-> pierregasly "i love u so much ur so pretty and im so lucky to have u like idk im just so in love with u" ok.

-> yourusername ALL MY TEXTS ARE UNDER MY COPYRIGHT BUT OK GO AHEAD

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt, danielricciardo and 68 others

yourusername i've loved you three summers now honey but i want 'em all

tagged pierregasly

27 comments

charles_leclerc you should know that he's been giggling at this post for 20mins

-> yourusername LMFAOOOO

-> pierregasly STOP

landonorris omg she has feelings!!!!!!!! shocking!!!!!!!

-> yourusername this is why i have you saved as "stupid asshole" in my phone

lilymhe it's hard to see my gf with another man 🫤🫤🫤

-> yourusername he's just a side hoe babe dw abt it

lewishamilton roscoe misses u 🫶🏼

-> yourusername i miss my godson :///

danielricciardo PARENTS

-> yourusername SON????

-> pierregasly we have one but thanks

-> carlossainz55 YOU'RE PREGNANT?????

-> carmenmmundt OH MY GOD

-> alex_albon HELLO THIS IS HUGE

-> charles_leclerc WOAH

-> yourusername PIERRE U STUPID FUCK

-> pierregasly I MEANT SON AS IN OUR CAT WHAT THE FUCK

pierregasly i love you ⁉️

-> yourusername EVERYONE THINKS IM PREGNANT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

-> yourusername (i love u so much)

[yippeeometer]

Yippeeometer, Im gonna need those Mass headcanons please and thank you

IVE WAITED YEARS FR THIS DAY!!!!!! MASSHOLES RISEEE!!!!!!!! WE MAY NEVER SEE OUR FAMILIES FOR BOSTON TRAFFIC GODDAMNIT BUT WE ARE PROUD!!!!!!!

incapable of normalcy and i truly mean that.

look theres a very specific vibe to mass and its 'will call in a bomb threat to get himself out of doing stuff he hates'

I HATE HIMMMM

so insane he's beyond dark humor atp that man grew up with puritans trying to convince him nothing was fun and now makes ass jokes for a living. what a 180.

oh and hes irritatingly cool even though hes such a dick. he's got big beautiful eyes and youre laughing along even though hes absolutely mocking u.

sports arent just sports its his way of life. which is why he wants to DIE because the red sox SUCK BALLS

sat there like a renaissance painting of despair in a dark room as the red sox fumble another game. phone illuminated w/ ny and nj sending him videos of the play with the sound of their laughter pasted on top.

'jock mass' 'nerd mass' get real he would be that one guy on the school newspaper that gets banned within the week for posting articles that are wayyyyy too radical to be necessary

he's be a journalist i fear. i fear he turns up to ur press conference and tears instantly spring to ur eyes bc hes got this shiteating grin that just says hes going to drag yours and your grandmothers name through the mud.

yk what i dont even fear. i am PROUD. no better job for a petty hoe than to write thinly veiled insults all day everyday.

sat there cackling into his computer describing one of maine's books as 'so bad its become a hatecrime to a group that doesnt exist' whilst maine actively tries to throttle him

hes such a MESSY BITCH INSTIGATOR. killing him with a rock until he's dead.

i could go on and on and i shall. man collects degrees, but not for fun as we may presume. its to win arguments against people so he can just casually pull out 'as someone w a phd-'

ok sue me he and rado would be great together. bc mass the type of guy to need to be the most impressive person in the room and anythig's impressive when youre stoned. rado sat there gasping in shock as he ties his shoelaces. gay.

if theres one mental image i have of him its that he claims that coats are for pussies to piss of ny and then spends the next 100 years only wearing t shirts and jeans. catches hypothermia 10 billion times. virginia interrogated daily for his taste in men.

ok furthermore and he cant drive. have u ever been to boston. its like a fucking psa on how to die most efficently.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 11

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH. 11

“One paddle-paddle, two paddle-paddle-.”

“HEYYY! Miss me, little brother?”

“...What the f-”

“It’s ironic! You used to smother me, with your dependency and lack of originality. Now I’m smothering you, by keeping you in a cage. It’s poetic, in a way.”

“...What are you supposed to be?”

“It’s just me, Stanford Pines. I’m definitely your twin brother, and not a maniac who kidnapped you because I can’t admit when I’m wrong or accept that I push people away.”

“Naw, you’re not him.”

“I assure you-.”

“No. Whatever you are? You’re not the guy who's been keeping me down here. You’re something else.”

“Oh?”

“This some… Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation? You one of those hive mind aliens that possess people? Or…?”

“Sixer was right to not underestimate you, conman. Let’s just say I’m a friend.”

“I’ve heard that before, but I recognize another wiseguy when I see one. What do you really want?”

“Why are you in denial, Stanley?”

“Denial is my fourth best skill, actually. It’s right above hoeing, and right below theft.”

“...Ignoring that. Why do you keep insisting you’re not Stanley Pines?”

“Show me the proof, guy.”

“You and Stanford have the same face.”

“Some people are just like that.”

“You have no memory of having a family, but Fordsy here has a gap in his, a gap you could slot into so easily.”

“Lot’s of families ‘lose’ members to homelessness.”

“Sounding a little bitter there, conman. Got personal feelings about that?”

“People aren’t ‘lost’ to homelessness, they’re forgotten. For the comfort of everyone else; for people who love to wax poetically about how other people struggle, but don’t have the stomach to look at it with their own eyes.”

“Well, well, well, well, well-.”

“Buddy, you get a nickel every time you say that?”

“Funny. What’s also funny is your ‘deep insight’. You’re so mad about people like you being forgotten, and yet… You forgot you.”

“What’s your point?”

“Why are you afraid of remembering? Are you afraid that you’ll remember loving people who couldn’t be bothered to remember you?”

“You seem to think you know a lot about me. Why don’t you tell me?”

“I think you cling to this ‘hardcore vagabond with no past’ persona because it’s convenient for you. Because it’s less painful for you. I think you wanted something so bad at one point that it consumed you, and when you couldn’t have it, there wasn’t anything significant left of you.”

“Wow. That’s quite a theory. Wanna hear the one I have about you?”

“Hit me, conman.”

“Oh, I wish I could. My theory is that you’re a lonely, nosey, parasitic little bi-.”

*‘Ford’ presses the mute button*

“Sorry Stanley, but I’m getting the last laugh here- and you’re giving me the bird. No, two birds. The audience will never know if you’re actually doing that, or if I’m just saying that you are.”

(...)

“Hey, Doc?”

“Yes, Stanley?”

“You know how I normally don’t ask you questions about your life because you’re crazy and I’m here against my will?”

“...Are you about to ask me a question?”

“Did you make a Faustian bargain with some eldritch abomination?”

“...What?!”

“Or… Do you use cocaine? I’d believe either, but I can help you with that second one if that’s it; you see, the key to kicking the habit is-.”

“Stanley. Why are you asking this?”

“Because last night something possessed you and tried talking to me about my feelings. But it failed because I don’t have any. What was that?”

“...Nothing possessed me.”

“PhD, you are terrible at lying.”

“Nobody possessed me! You must have just been dreaming.”

“No, I don’t have dreams. I only have nightmares about being suffocated. Or the IRS. Or the IRS suffocating me.”

“...What?”

“Are you a Warlock?”

“A- a what?”

“There’s this game that dorks play - and there's elves, and wizards, and stuff. Warlocks are those guys who use magic, but they have to get it from otherworldly entities. Are you that? Is that what you are?”

“...You are talking about the tabletop roleplaying game, Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons?”

“Yes.”

“You.. play that?”

“No. I never played it.”

“But you know the mechanics?”

“Some of it. Just the basic stuff. None of the actual- I don’t know, rules? Something something something D38; something something something THAC0.”

“How do you know?”

“I dunno, I don’t think too hard about it. Anyways,  so you’re a Warlock and you’re hiding it because your patron, boss, eldritch pimp, or whatever you wanna call it is gonna be mad at you? Is that what this is?”

“Stanley, please. Stuff like that is simply… fantasy.”

“Oh really? This is coming from the guy who has an anatomically accurate poster of a dissected fairy that you drew yourself.”

“...You can see that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s right over there.”

“Stanley, you should not be able to see that. It’s too far away, and you’re not wearing glasses or contacts.”

“Doc, I don’t need glasses.”

“You have needed them our entire lives, just like I do. You have a bad habit of breaking them, or not wearing them because you think you won’t look cool.”

“Shows just how much you know. Are you gonna tell me what that thing last night was? Or are you going to keep changing the topic and hope that I get too distracted to follow up?”

“Nothing happened last night. I’m not a warlock. I can’t believe you lied to me all those years ago when you told me you ignored all of my long talks about the finer mechanics and lore surrounding DD&D. And you should need glasses.”

*Ford goes upstairs*

“Well, guess I have nothing better to do than to take a nap. I wonder how the IRS is going to suffocate me this time…”

To be continued…

[toournextadventure]

THE OC LORE THE OC LORE LETS HEAR IT??

JUST LET ME KNOW WHAT KIND OF OC LORE YOU WANT BESTIE

But I'll give you some very basic life stories about birb!Reader's older family for fun 😌 if you wanna know about the siblings, let me know, I've got lots more 👀

Reader's ENTIRE adopted family is full of Outcasts, unwanted people, and those that ended up alone whether on purpose or not. It's constantly growing so it's always an absolute madhouse and everyone is either an aunt, an uncle, or a sibling. Chaos always ensues

Her Grandpa, for example, is a true European vampire. He was a blacksmith centuries ago and is the one who teaches Reader all of her "old school" skills. All of her swordfighting skills came from him and he's the one who made the sword for Gomez. One of his favourite pastimes is throwing pop quizzes at all the grandkids to see if they're keeping up with their Romanian. He'll be damned if his grandkids don't learn his language (at least they think it's his language, he has never confirmed a single thing ever in his life). When Wednesday comes around, he's pleasantly surprised at her intellect; they talk for hours in languages Reader doesn't understand

Then there's her Abuelita. She and her parents had come up from Mexico when she was only 4 or 5 and grew up in Southern Texas. They got scattered when she was about 24 and ended up on the East Coast where she met Grandpa and the rest is history (Reader is convinced she only speaks Spanish. Jokes on her, Abuelita speaks perfect English, but the joke has been going on for so long that she can't give up on it now). She bullies Reader even more when Wednesday is around, just to see the amusement on Wednesday's face when Reader gets frustrated

Auntie C is a bad bitch, we stan. She grew up in foster care in Seattle and was miraculously adopted by Abuelita and Grandpa. Easily got her PhD and is a neurosurgeon who does NOT take any shit from the kids, especially the older ones because they damn well know better. No spouse, no kids (except for the Family Kids), ALWAYS in her hoe phase, she is living her absolute best life. She also takes no shit from Wednesday, throwing her own threats right back; it's a wonderful bonding experience

Tio's parents sent him to America at 11 so he couldn't get drawn into the Colombian Cartel. Spent almost three years roaming before being found by Aunti C, who befriended him and eventually brought him home. He's a musician at heart and taught Nicky how to play guitar (he tried teaching Reader, and she's not too shabby, but not near as good as Nicky). Tio, more often than not, is the one who teases Reader most and ABSOLUTELY gives her all kinds of shit when he finds out about Wednesday

Pop probably has the most traumatic past. Growing up on the East Coast, his father (and uncle and cousin) died in a coal mine collapse. Not long after, his mom took her own life, leaving him alone. He was adopted out of an orphanage and became the youngest of Abuelita and Grandpa's group. He and momma were high school sweethearts that got married out of college (he knows more than most about Reader's struggle with her anger, and he's her biggest supporter). He thinks Wednesday is a good anchor for Reader to finally start trying to heal

Momma, strangely enough, had a perfectly normal life. She still talks with her parents, has one sister and a few nieces and nephews. Everyone teases her for not having trauma, to which she says "watch it before I GIVE YOU something traumatic to worry about." She mother's Wednesday in her own way and even though Wednesday will never admit it, she enjoys the genuine care from someone other than her own family

[alanrants]

Roleplaying alone in my room as Mark is so fun. "I'm a virgin cus I have trust issues. I want that pussy but that shit has teeth. I'm evil cus I'm traumatized. Ask me how my life was in the streets and I'll be having Vietnam war flashbacks. This shit ain't nothing to me man. Them order of the gauntlet hoes are racist towards psychos; not all of us kill people especially when we wear these fine clothes. I don't plan, I improvise; I'm too dumb to plan shit. Don't make me do gymnastics to understand your PhD vernacular. That blue mint feywild zaza made my throat creak. The last time I snorted some of that obi one cannoli skittle dust the tavern had to close for maintenance for a week; i was processing shit so fast that I don't remember any of it. My thrift store business was so good that I was able to pay my employees above minimum wage; made the merchant guild so mad they became the IRS. If I was a devil I'll be putting fine print in contracts, but I don't do that; if I don't like you I'll whoop your ass till your gums bleed. Instead of going to the nine hells I'm going to the abyss; the nine hells are too tame for me. If I start getting vulnerable, slap me because I shouldn't be."

[blogger-theo-herbots]

Hoe geluk in je leven te vinden || How to find happiness in your life

Hoe geluk in je leven te vinden Click on the link to translation From Dutch to English Onderzoek suggereert vier belangrijke strategieën die zullen helpen Bij  Arlin Cuncic  Bijgewerkt op 11 september 2022  Medisch beoordeeld bij  Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS Inhoudsopgave Blijf altijd verbeteren Omring jezelf met gelukkige mensen Roep positieve herinneringen op Collectieve doelen of…

[macncheesenibblers]

IM DONE WITH MY ADVISING APPOINTMENTS!!!

[meangirlpolitics]

Being a successful Cool Girl is a surefire gateway to absolutely hating men. Wannabe Cool Girls, the women and girls who keep trying to be the Cool Girl but don’t quite get there, don’t realize that the Cool Girl endgame is men genuinely assuming that you’ll be down with misogyny and letting you see things that will traumatize you forever. I was a good Cool Girl for a very brief period, and it’s absolutely what radicalized me. I wish every woman knew the shit that men said to me and in front of me about them. I tried to find all the girls I had names for online to tell them the truth, and I still feel guilty, 6 years later, about the ones I couldn’t locate.

A guy proudly sent me dozens of different nudes that he was secretly screenshotting from Snapchat with some sketchy app. “How is a fat girl like a bicycle? It’s fun to ride until your friends see.” Did you know that nearly every man uses some degree of incel terminology to talk about women? “Bros before hoes” isn’t a joke - men have the strongest class solidarity I’ve ever seen in my fucking life; a man will defend another man that he hates, another man that he’s never even met, over pretty much any woman. Most men genuinely believe that women think totally differently than they do, that women are confusing liars and that’s why relationships don’t work out. Your “feminist ally” male friends and coworkers are calling you a feminazi cunt while they drink beer, and it means nothing to them. Men discuss porn like they’re phD art historians analyzing the design of a Renuar.

Most importantly, the very, very few men who aren’t like this, who didn’t actually say sexist things or talk shit about women - they never stood up to the other men. Ever. When men are alone with their bros and the Cool Girls, the “good men” still don’t say a fucking word in defense of women. If you’re the Cool Girl and you say something, you’re immediately excommunicated forever, and the “good man” texts you later to say he agreed and he’s sorry, but he doesn’t stand up for you. He knew the whole time that the moment you opened your mouth all the other men would add you to the hatable female category, and he’s not gonna risk it happening to him. And guess what? Even before you say anything, even when you’re still the Cool Girl, the guys are talking about you the same way they talk about other women when you’re not around. I heard them do it to the other Cool Girls.

[wumblr]

i feel extraordinarily compelled to reveal all the secrets i've been keeping because at this point it presents more of a liability to leave them unknown and this is after all the rant journal that arbitrarily didn't get deleted when my leather fetish blog did (probably because both were a major draw for ad revenue for the site at one point) but like... those of you who would not judge me for charging $1000/hr for sex work WOULD judge me for putting some of it in bitcoin at exactly the right time because i thought i could see it coming. and those of you who would judge me for neither would want to know all my trade secrets. and at least one person i respect has said "if you engaged in financial speculation during the pandemic i hate you" which like. fair. the secret is if you're going into a ponzi scheme, you have to get out while it's up. nah i'm just kidding you have to target guys who consider themselves straight but secretly crave being dominated. it seems obvious, right? i shouldn't tell you this: they don't know what a normal rate is. and to be honest neither do i because they kept saying "sure that sounds fine" to the rate. insane. ok bye i'm deleting. unless any of you are buying...? but i don't have any of my gear right now because i left it at my ex-fiance's house because i thought. i really thought. didn't i. i thought i was getting out of the industry. I SAID IT WOULD BE FUNNY SOMEDAY do you even know how hard it was to keep this under wraps. i LOVE oversharing. that's what happened to the fiance i think if i had kept up the persona the whole time he would probably still like me but he was not paying so. he got the whole person. BIG mistake. still unclear whether it's over. if anybody can figure out some life advice to derive from this could you tell me what it is? because i'm literally. in indiana. GOD. IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY. you can unfollow me for this. it's okay. did anybody else have a pandemic this weird or am i just living life at a 10 (standard deviations from norm)? and they didn't even print anything i said in that interview for the atlantic. i'm a $500 hoe on average because half the time i just do things for $0 because they sound interesting. i think the life advice is "do not do any of this" but how, on god, was i supposed to know that?? actually the trade secret is i kind of look like christian wilde. if he looked like shaggy rogers. if he was a phd candidate. and THAT is why i will never do a face reveal. somebody would be like "no you don't, your eyes are lopsided" and i would have to be like (ani difranco lyric from 2005 about having the kind of beauty that moves). not that it particularly matters for the sake of my clientele because they usually want the hood. anyway, this is why camp is homosexual. because it's inescapable. thank you for my tedtalk. sorry for fucking your man i guess i hope he's well

[lovenona]

Ooh sweetie. You think sukuna learns what jealousy is when you slowly starts to spend more time with the arrogant fuck that is geto? Wait until econ major gojo satoru comes in. (I need to say it again: i absolutely adore your works! Have a great day ! )

welcome back!! i see you with econ major gojo but, in cahoots with @softkuna, i raise you: teacher’s assistant gojo satoru, 27, who is completing his dissertation on post-impressionism and will soon have a phD. this string bean of a man literally looks like he’s twelve years old and shouldn’t even be in college, but he is legally allowed to teach discussion sections, host office hours, and grade your papers. (yeah, i know. it’s terrifying.)  

phd candidate gojo satoru is an absolute menace in the classroom – he barely teaches, just clicks through the professor’s powerpoint slides and teases them for their awful aesthetic choices and apparent inability to use technology. he’ll make fun of the artwork, too, instead of analyzing it: why does that baby look like a full-grown adult? do y’all see this wack perspective? in essence, he’s one of those cursed teachers where you leave the lecture even more confused than before. all gojo satoru does is eat hot chip, lie, wear his silly little sunglasses indoors and act as if you already know the material through osmosis or something. (babe, we don’t, you’re supposed to tell us.)

phd candidate gojo satoru is also the hoe professor that calls on students who aren’t paying attention because he thinks it’s funny. his favorite student to terrorize, of course, being ryomen sukuna: there’s an unspoken rivalry between them, a tension that borders somewhere between hatred and jealousy. it’s what happens when you put the two most arrogant fucks in a room together! shit always hits the fan. gojo will ask sukuna an outrageous question, to which sukuna will give an equally outrageous answer. they then argue, quite intellectually and on a range of topics, for at least 30 minutes. someone usually live tweets the scene. someone is crying because they just wanted to go over the material.

and yet, for gojo’s absolutely pitiful teaching style (seriously this man should have awful ratings) somehow he is one of the smartest academics in the entire department. he’s received every fellowship academia has to offer. he’s already quite famous in the art history world despite the fact he hasn’t even finished his dissertation yet. he’s insanely popular on campus, too – everyone wants to be in his classes, even if they’d be better off with professor nanami, who actually helps you understand the content and cares about your success. gojo’s just got that aura where you want to be around him, and because he’s so chill and fun you often forget that he’s a full-grown adult who is supposed to be mentoring you. 

(also, this man absolutely has a tiktok where he posts “relatable” content about his day-to-day life and really niche jokes about artwork and art history. somehow, he’s always going viral. like bitch please just answer my email asking about this week’s assignment it’s been three days.)

(part of the artist!sukuna universe) 

[thesargasmicgoddess]

When your hoe and academic worlds overlap 😬

That awkward moment when fellow members of your Ph.D. cohort ponder becoming OnlyFans content creaters, over wading through the immense workload of a doctoral program....

And you're thinking....DONE THAT! 😂😉😈🤓

I'm chalking all of this up to a life well-lived, so far!❤️

[goldnkuro]

´ ´ learn the alphabet with noir ` `

a/n: anything that is in italics is in korean. i’ve been wanting to do this one for a while and it took me quite some days to think while making sure she’s in character poaskposkpksapos ALSO, let me know if any of you want to know the backstory of any of the quotes!

a:

“ayyyyyyy my man.” (greeting her male friends)

"annyeonghaseyo bishes.”

“at this point, i don’t even care anymore.”

b:

“banana BA NA NA NAAAAAAAA.”

“by the way, if i ever see anyone saying bad things to eun-chae just because she’s bi, expect to hear from my lawyer.”

“bruh moment.”

c:

“commence the yoinkage.”

“covid, PUH LEASE, get the hell out, you’ve overstayed your welcome, no one wants you here.”

“caffeine addict is what they call me, now pass me that cup so i can one-shot it.”

d:

“dude, I know what I’m doing, trust me. I got phd on youtube.”

“do you ever stare at people to see what their reaction will be? because i do.”

“DISCO TIME!”

e:

“eh, i’m gay.”

“everyone, i got an important question, is buttcheeks one word or should i spread them apart?”

“ehehehehe, i’ll clown all my members, ehehehehehe.”

f:

“first of all, i’m a claw machine master, okay? have some faith on me."

“fu-, sh-, dam-, AH you know what, i give up.”

“fancy uUUuuuuuu.” (voice crack)

g:

“guys shut the heck up, i’m listening to ateez”

“gosh, how can i be so talented?”

“gO GO GO GO, GET HIM!”

h:

“how about no?”

“hi horsie.” (feeding the horse with carrots while patting its neck)

"hamlet once said and i quote: 'o fuck'."

i:

“i’ve come to announce, i adopted a child.” (turns the camera to show mingi with yoo on his lap) “by the way, mingi’s the child.”

“i hate my brother, i want a new one.”

“i demand a refund on this friendship.”

j:

“jinnie could slap me with her vocal and i would still thank her.”

“je t'aime, mes gems.”

“just, what the heck is wrong with you?”

k:

“KI TWIN IS HERE! WHERE’S THE KO TWIN?! HARUKO!”

“ke ke ke… yes this is my weird laugh.”

“KILL THEM, EAT ALL THEIR CHILDREN!”

l:

“lol, sucks to be you.”

“logistically, soo-jin can’t live without me.”

“laura and jinnie are the demonic duo i would never dare to mess with.”

m:

“math should be permanently banned from existence.”

“mingi-ah, why are you and yunho such a hoe?”

“mayday mayday, haru’s being way too sweet.”

n:

“not my problem.”

“nan michin deushi awooo.”

“no, i won’t be growing taller any sooner, i already accepted it.”

o:

“oh god, why me?”

“obolary.”

“OH MY- boi.”

p:

“peniel, i love you, brother, i really do, but could you kindly rid ourselves of your presence?”

“protecc haru and hua at all costs.”

“please stop asking for my brother, he’s stinky and i’m better company.”

q:

“quoting the legendary hamlet, ‘no’.”

“quack.”

“q t? wait, are you flirting with me? wot.”

r:

“really? right in front of my salad?”

“RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”

“rEEEEE!”

s:

“soo-young isn’t responding to normies at the moment, try again later.”

“santa claus doesn’t exist, sorry.”

“sup? how you doin’ babe?”

t:

“today’s tmi is that i’ll always be the prettiest.”

“there’s no filter when it comes to me, and we all know that.”

“... the more you know, i guess.”

u:

“um, am i interrupting something?” (seeing the maknaes cuddling up together)

“usually some of the members would accompany me on things like this, but it seems that i was ditched.”

“uh-huh… and what made you believe that i would actually do aegyo for free?”

v:

“vroom vroom.”

“venus might the quietest between us, but honestly? she’s the real demon.”

“verrry naiseu.”

w:

“whenever someone tells me ‘i love you noir’, i either throw up or say that i love me too.”

“watch me covering all the title songs from my favorite groups.”

“wae wae wae wae wae wae wae wae wae wae?” (annoying eun-chae)

x:

“xoxo is always the way when you’re lazy to write properly but still want to make it cute.”

“XIAN HUA!”, “yes?”, “... i love you.”

y:

“YASSSSS QUEEN”

“YEET!”

“you just got gnome’d.” (gnome noise)

z:

“zombie movies are good… for background noise, i mean.”

“zoos are fun, i can pet some animals for free.”

[practicalmagicintuitions]

This was a submission, I will react to it here, Above. Thank you for sending me this in and sorry, that I only post it now, I don't see Submisssions from my phone.

I will be short as much as possible.

Everything is very interesting you say but I think you made the same mistakes that most fans tend to make with him. Confusing explanations and excuses.

His abandonment is an explanation and can explain everything he is doing and has been done or at least most of it. But those are not excuses. Me and my anons not just saying he uses women as you said. We also said many times he has unsolved trauma and needs therapy. We not just bashing him but we cannot go to therapy instead of him. We cannot help. I made mistakes here but I am careful about the ask I am sharing for the exact reason you said, that he is a human.

But you also said "He really needs a mate who truly wants to understand who he is and what he is all about. Not the good looking man or the celebrity. He needs that one person who provides him with the love and security that he not only desires, but really needs. That will be the person who he will love forever."

And I found this similar to what fans usually are saying when they are excusing him instead of trying to understand him. The only person he truly really needs and who has to provide him love, security and understanding is a person named Henry William Dalgliesh Cavill born in 05/05/1983. No one else can help him. A therapist only can help you to hoe to help yourself. If you don't want to go but forced into therapy it will never work. Everything is starting with the realisation " I am not well, I cannot help myself alone, I need help" That's the first step.

Thank you for take the time and sending this in. It's appreciated.

----------------------

Professor of Psychology Anon here. I am a PHD in Psychology and I would like to comment on your blog if I may. I apologize in advance and this may be a fairly lengthy post.

I have studied Psychology for a little over 25 years, have a private practice and teach at a local University. I specialize in patients who have experienced trauma, whether it be physical or psychological. Over the last 2.5 years I have been studying people in pop culture (Influencers, Celebrities and Professional Athletes). There are a handful that I have studied in depth and one has been Henry Cavill. As a disclaimer, I have not spoken with him nor am I treating him in any way. My comments here are based on my own personal research.

As part of that research, I have reviewed and studied him in depth. Not what the public says about him, but from watching him in forums where he is speaking and answering questions. I know little of his family situations, friendships or romantic relationships. In addition to this, I have also been reading blogs, including this one, to get an idea what the perception is of him (as I do with the other celebrities and athletes I have been studying). 

As I have not treated him and certainly don't know the details of his life, this is not an official diagnosis, but my professional opinion, based on what I know only. So, if I may, I would like to let you know my thoughts on him overall.

It is very clear to me that he has some sort of trauma in the form of abandonment issues. When I hear what he says about leaving home at a young age and sent to boarding school, how he was bullied and what he says about calling home and his mother not answering - that really tells me all I need to know and this is just one documented example. This also gives me a good idea as to why he goes from relationship to relationship - let me explain. Abandonment comes in many forms...it can be when your parents die at a young age and you are left with others to take care of you, it can happen in a marriage where a woman feels her husband is more dedicated to his work than her...I think you can see where I'm going with this. Being sent away to school at a very impressionable age and being ignored, not feeling love or support and being made fun of at the same time can take quite a toll on a still developing limbic system in the brain. The limbic system is responsible for controlling behavioural and emotional responses.

Based on the the trauma, that portion of the brain has endured, it will result in different types of behaviour. Based on the comments I've seen on your blog, a number of your readers, including yourself, have surmised that he uses women, he goes from relationship to relationship, etc. That may actually be the case, but I think differently. I believe that he has trauma in the form of abandonment. People with these types of trauma very rarely stay in long term relationships, they don't really get close to others, they rarely show who they truly are and this is all based on emotional turmoil. In Henry's case, I think he's afraid that if he gives his true self - emotions and all - to one individual, that eventually they will leave him. What he seems to be doing is a very common and natural way to prevent the emotions that come along with abandonment - don't get too close, don't show your true self, don't love too deeply. If a woman is in a relationship with a person with this type of trauma, they will more than likely feel that he doesn't love them. His hot/cold attitude towards them is because he may be feeling he is getting too close for his comfort level and backs off, probably by being aloof. What he really needs is security and I'm sure he's not getting it in the relationships he's been in. Alot of women expect the man to shower them with affection, to ensure they are loved all the time and he won't do that - so they leave. The other secnario is that he may feel that he doesn't trust this person with all of his insecurities and flaws and they will eventually leave him one day, so he does it himself, so he doesn't have to endure the feelings with someone leaving him. I have alot of compassion for people are like this - including Henry.

He may be wondering why he can't find the love of his life and it's because of his fear of abandoment. My guess would be he just goes around and around in circles and doesn't know what the real issue is, unless he seeks therapy to identify this (and perhaps other) issues in order to move forward. He really needs a mate who truly wants to understand who he is and what he is all about. Not the good looking man or the celebrity. He needs that one person who provides him with the love and security that he not only desires, but really needs. That will be the person who he will love forever. 

Abandonment by a Mother is the worst kind of abandoment for a child. It is a hurt that you can't recover from unless help is sought. But even if you seek therapy, you will always feel that hurt. Therapy is just a way for him to get tools he can use in order to deal with it. As a Doctor, as a mental health professional and as person, I implore you and all of your readers to try and understand that these celebrities are human beings too. They have the same issues that all of us have and if it's not treated properly, it will result in different types of behaviour and HC is no different. Treat people with kindness because the fact is...we can guess, we can speculate, we can look at them and their actions from afar, but the truth is...we don't know these people, we don't know what makes them who they are today - just like all of us. Compassion is needed more and more in the world and I can only hope that more people use their compassion more often.

Thank you for letting me have your space to discuss my professional opinion.

[queens-hoes]

Ikevamp Suitors as University Professors (Part 3!)

Shakespeare

Obviously a literature prof is that even a question with a focus on the really old stuff

Like Beowulf, medieval literature, Shakespeare (if it exists in this uni-verse haha get it)

Basically if it came out before the 18th century, he's your guy or if it's Edgar Allan Poe

I feel like our boy Willy Shakes would be a big fan of the Big Bad Gothic Hoe

Reads texts out loud very dramatically

Focuses on the way something is written instead of the meaning behind it

Symbolism? Nah mate

This is coming from the guy whose plays are filled with adult jokes that just fly over your head the first time around

(Shakespeare literally made a "your mom" joke, he isn't overanalyzing shit)

His class is really insightful but....

.....can anyone understand a word this man is saying

God help his poor students

They always need to have an extra tab open to a dictionary site

Y'know how teachers have apples on their desks? He'd probably have a skull instead for the aesthetic

It's an ongoing debate among students whether he's amazing or terrible at his job

You better hope he doesn’t hear you talking shit....or else....

(Exit, pursued by a bear)

Comte

The President of the entire school, can’t convince me otherwise

If not that, then he’s at least a dean or head chairman of a certain faculty

Despite having such a high-standing position, his true passion really is teaching

And he sure can teach a lot

He can speak literally Every Language, so he’s pretty much a fixture in the International/Foreign Language department

Probably spends most of the time teaching French or English

But based on the game we can safely assume he can also speak Italian, Dutch, German and Japanese 

And probably Latin, Greek and/or Hebrew since he’s old af

He’s also 100% picked up at least a little of Spanish, Portuguese, Mandarin, Thai, Russian, Hindi, literally every other language in existence

Has really good relationships with the international students bc of this

Hand-picks every prof at the school

Though sometimes regrets his life choices when he hears about Dazai breaking another window or Leo being found in the fountain for the third straight day

Professor Saint-Germain needs a holiday

You will never hear someone say something bad about this man, he is amazing

Any woman that interacts with him, whether it be a faculty member or a student, has fallen at least a little in love with him and a few men too wink wonk

But don't be fooled, he will suspend/expel/fire anyone that crosses any lines

Everyone secretly suspects that he’s actually either a nobleman of some sort or a supernatural creature

No human is just born like that

Sebastian

Is Napoleon’s favourite TA that follows him around like a puppy

Practically has the same level of history knowledge as Napoleon, just without the PhD (for now)

Bc of this, he helps out a lot of the students that may feel intimidated to go to the prof

Has a group chat with his tutorial group where he sends historical memes

His groups are always full bc of how popular he is with students

Would totally use stan Twitter language to discuss historical events

"AIGHT so lemme spill the tea on the French Revolution and why you should stan my S-tier level man, Napoleon--"

100% the type to tell his students where to find free textbooks in illegal ways

Exams coming up? You bet he's making Kahoot/Jeopardy games to help everyone review

Need an extension? No biggie

But if he notices you actually slacking off, Scary Sebastian appears

They say his glare is enough to scare anyone into submission Comte is so proud

[jenmyeons]

Favorite Fics 2019

hi hello it’s me your local mess. ok so this hit me on my way to work the other day and since it’s friday i feel like today is a good day to hopefully make someone’s day/night/weekend a little brighter? 

i love reading fanfics. periodt. there are lots of incredible writers out there on this site and other platforms who take time to write beautiful fics about the real people and characters and their emotional support kpop ladies and gentlemen to show their love and appreciation so i want to dedicate this to my favorite fics of this year. these fanfics are of varying lengths and genres but they all have two things in common 1) they were posted this year 2) i love them.

(most of these are exo but i have some other groups sprinkled in there too)

other favorite fics of mine can be found under my fic recs tag!

A Decade of Midnights by @chogi-wae 

queen of noir! grumpy chenneth! sexy detectives! murder mystery! do i even have to say anything else? oh yes! we also get coroner!baekhyun 

ps: jae has a sequel started for this with two parts already having me at the edge of my seat. i love all of jae’s writing but this one takes the cake

Enough by @yeoldontknow

anything kat touches turns golden and holy mother of everything that is self-love and reflection. this is a fic for all us sexy ladies with a body that doesn’t conform to what society has decided is “beautiful”. i can’t call myself plus size in any way but i do not have a flat tummy or legs for days or perky titties. quite the opposite; i’m a short lady with love handles, saggy tits and stomach rolls (yes we’re going tmi here but it’s important ok). park chanyeol is the opposite of that and he’s the best fucking man ever in this fic. he’s a muscle man but he’s a man with the biggest heart and he says “you have a cute butt” which is enough reason for you to read this. when i feel bad about myself, i think about enough and i become a little happier

Empty Vessels 

another yeoldontknow masterpiece! i stand by the statement that this is the best fic i have ever read. probably read this five times already and i think about it almost daily. junmyeon is a witch from salem and that’s only one of the many reasons for you to check this out and hopefully fall in love with it as much as i have. it’ll rip your heart out and stomp on it. dub me professional empty vessels promoter already kat!! 

Dichotomy by @kyungseokie

dia hurts you in the best possible way with this fic. bawl my eyes out every damn time i read this because fucking hell this is emotional investment and hearts broken and everything hurts and this is not your average love triangle where one guy is obviously worse than the other. NO! this can go either way and you just want everyone to be happy and baekhyun needs a hug!

Teacher’s Pet by @suhoerections

teacher junmyeon getting called daddy “threatening” to bend you over his desk and fuck you hard is a lot for a suhoe stan such as myself to think about but i’m not mad, just jorny.

Clouded by @mayrubyy

uhm yes do you want to cry some more? this is an emotional rollercoaster, you have been warned! this fic has great potential and it’s maya’s child and when the next part is posted you know shit will go down and ashjgff i have no words only love for both the author aka my baby and the fic itself🥺💖

Familiar Stranger by @myforeverforlife

love love love love LOVE familiar stranger! a beautiful story about reader losing all memories of the last five years due to an accident which includes her entire life with fiancé kim jongdae. dae is an angel, we all know that, but he’s somehow even more angelic as the most patient person ever in familiar stranger. this hits right in the feels (can you tell i love to read angst ahjdsf) and it’s not your usual wham bam thank you ma’am all-memories-recovered-in-five-seconds kind of situation either and i’m praying for another update of this because this is not just one of the best fics of this year but one of my favorites period.

Sunny Side Up by @dreaminghaos

i love everything fee writes with a burning passion y’all

this fic is everything everything everything!!! i can’t get enough of this fic and i probably never will get enough of it either because i love this pairing and i’m in love with struggling writer!jeonghan 

Magnetic by @softyexo 

did anyone say ceo!myeon? this is a recent love of mine. i read it just the other day and have been thinking about it non-stop since. absolutely in love with oc’s and junmyeon’s dynamic in this one and it feeds all my lovesickness for this man made of pure husband material. thanks for coming to this ted talk.

Hold on to silence by @dropsofletters

amazing! show stopping! incredibly unique! absolutely astonishing! idiots in love! omg i LOVE this one! yixing as chanhun’s manager is everything i didn’t know i needed and holy crap this is such a lovely story please read it and experience the feels™

Neon Moon by @kyungseokie

they were roleplaying! ROLEPLAYING!

Trauma by @baekwell--tart

dad and secret mafia man!byun falls in love with his babysitter after being an absolute asshole to her and oh my god i am so invested in this masterpiece. whenever bella updates trauma i yell. i’ve re-read this many times already and i continue to find new reasons why i love this story with my whole entire being

Mr. Byun

bella once again proving that she writes the most amazing bbh fics. angst and smut combined i swear i was a whole lot worked up with all the spice in this one and then i cried like a baby when it ended. have i told you that i’m a very emotionally stable person?🤡

Bedazzling Heart of Gold by @baekonsforbreakfast

i love this song! baekhyun gets dumped and falls in love with oc who runs one of the biggest hostess bars in all of sk and holy crap you just love everyone in this fic. even that one character who you feel like you should hate but kind of still empathize with on a deeply emotional level. no? just me? ok then. i love you belle and i hope you know how much i enjoy your writing💗

Mr. Muscles by @chogi-wae

short and sweet drabble about oc biting jun’s bicep. no but for real i’ve read this one countless times and i just love a domestic jun so go ahead and read duality and dyson as well because nobody writes cute domestic fluff like jae ilysm

Money Makes Her Smile by @ninibears-erigom

mrs gom has written one of the dirtiest but also loveliest smut series of 2019. jongdae’s part was posted yesterday and holy fuck i have never read better jongdae smut ever i think

Business Before Pleasure by @pcychedelic

actor minseok! i repeat: actor minseok!

they get down and dirty in like the second chapter and i’m in love. not because of the obvious spiciness but because the amazing portrayal of minseok in this fic. love a strong female character? then you will love oc too!

High Voltage by @skyesins

SIN! THIS IS SIN! I LOVED EVERY SINGLE PART OF THIS FIC AND PART TWO IS EVEN BETTER!

there’s also the original ofc version on asian fanfics for those who aren’t into reader inserts and it’s just as good! 

Literally every single aesthetic that @kpop-daze has written but some favorites include exo as broken love / exo as ephemeral tenderness /  exo as fleeting heartbreak 

Unfitting by @heechulhamster

SOLDIER MINSEOK SOLDIER MINSEOK SOLDIER MINSEOK that is all

no wait... this has real descendants of the sun vibes and i love it so much can i have a soldier!xiu por favor

Fire and Frost by @writing-exo-things

queen of drabbles! i love every single one of them but this one is next level™ i cried like a baby this is truly amazing!!!

Take Care by @omyeol 

 g o d i felt this fic on a deeply spiritual and emotional level 

False Hope by @pastel-kpop

i hate you and i love you for writing this it still hurts reading this like YES MAKE ME HURT AYESHA THEY ARE IDIOTS 

Mocha by @stainandscribble  

the whole café series is lovely but mocha and espresso really stuck out to me i’m so soft for the whole aesthetic of these! 

ever imagined that jackson wang is your date to your brother’s wedding? well @softseunies did and it turned out fucking amazing! what i love the most is that it’s very open for interpretation and of course jackson is always a mood when will he be my date and mayhaps potential bf at the wedding of the brother i don’t have?

little forest by @myforeverforlife

I LOVE THIS! DO YOU HEAR ME?! L O V E THIS!

not his to love by @boogerines

can you hear me sobbing? this hurts so much let me go back to crying over this again after i re-read this for the nth time

this blurb right here is adorable @sprinklesofktrash did that!

wild valley by @fairyyeols

wild valley is that bitch™ and that’s all i have to say i live and breathe for this installation of exo customs my favorite, in fact

blossoms in the wind by @marshmallow-phd

don’t @ me but this goblin!au with junmyeon as the goblin and baekhyun as the grim reaper is more intriguing than the drama and that’s saying a lot but i cry with every new chapter ohmygoddddd

wrong number by @yeoldotcom

i’m a hoe for fake texts and zee makes the best ones🥺🥺🥺🥺

also love love love bf!jun in food buddies

break up with me by @exoangst

don’t mind me i’m just crying in a corner as i read this for the millionth time and cry over how well written oc is and how fucking amazing that breakup scene is like has anyone done it like that before? maybe, idk but this is the only one that counts