#phd hoe life

[thesargasmicgoddess]

I may be at the point in my doctoral and hoe life where I just throw up trashy nudes here because I no longer have the time or capacity to worry about lighting and creativity in my hoe photos 🤔

I think this is a valid method of measurement for how frazzled I am in my life right now 🤣

[love-belle]

loved you three summers !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's living her dream and he's just her biggest supporter.

or

for when you know it'll be them, forever and always. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hope u like it!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3 requests are still open!!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, yourbestfriend and 357,825 others

pierregasly missing this one and her astonishing but understandable lack of enthusiasm about life

tagged yourusername

5,528 comments

username she's so pretty oh my god

username genuine question can pierre fight

-> yourusername no he cannot

-> pierregasly stfu yes i can

username she's so me

username THIS COUPLE OMG

username in love with their relationship like ❤️❤️❤️❤️

landonorris missing my uno opponent

-> yourusername miss making you cry during uno

-> landonorris IT WAS ONE TIME LET IT GO

username i want her

yourusername missing u and ur annoying gossip too ig

-> pierregasly don't act like u don't text me everyday ASKING for gossip

-> yourusername lies

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 57 others

yourusername duality of student life

26 comments

landonorris can u even handle that much alcohol ?

-> yourusername says the one who passed out after drinking tequila

-> landonorris I WAS TIRED OKAY

danielricciardo i would drink colourful shit in the first picture

-> yourusername my dude that's phenolphthalein and methyl orange

lilymhe missing u so bad rn

-> yourusername too real missing my wife :///

carlossainz55 please call pierre he's crying

-> pierregasly STFU NO IM NOT

-> yourusername HELP OMG

pierregasly TOTALLY not crying because i love you!!!!!!! NOT at all!!!!!!!!!!

-> yourusername ofc!!!!!!!!! i believe u!!!!!!!!

pierregasly i love you ❤️

-> yourusername je t'aime ❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 796,327 others

pierregasly when she's in love with you AND a phd student

tagged yourusername

4,691 comments

username HELP THAT'S SO CUTE

username oh my god i want this?????? so bad?????

username I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

landonorris proof that y/n is secretly a hopeless romantic

-> yourusername don't spread misinformation x

-> pierregasly she literally sent me 56 messages saying she loves me

-> yourusername and ur blocked.

username THESE BITCHES SO IN LOVE IM SICK

username pls be mindful of the single people on this app 🙏

username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ about them

danielricciardo that skeleton in the last slide in so me like i can't explain it

-> pierregasly "that's daniel idk why or how" is what she said when she sent that to me

-> yourusername and i spoke nothing but the truth

yourusername who said im in love with u?????

-> pierregasly "i love u so much ur so pretty and im so lucky to have u like idk im just so in love with u" ok.

-> yourusername ALL MY TEXTS ARE UNDER MY COPYRIGHT BUT OK GO AHEAD

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt, danielricciardo and 68 others

yourusername i've loved you three summers now honey but i want 'em all

tagged pierregasly

27 comments

charles_leclerc you should know that he's been giggling at this post for 20mins

-> yourusername LMFAOOOO

-> pierregasly STOP

landonorris omg she has feelings!!!!!!!! shocking!!!!!!!

-> yourusername this is why i have you saved as "stupid asshole" in my phone

lilymhe it's hard to see my gf with another man 🫤🫤🫤

-> yourusername he's just a side hoe babe dw abt it

lewishamilton roscoe misses u 🫶🏼

-> yourusername i miss my godson :///

danielricciardo PARENTS

-> yourusername SON????

-> pierregasly we have one but thanks

-> carlossainz55 YOU'RE PREGNANT?????

-> carmenmmundt OH MY GOD

-> alex_albon HELLO THIS IS HUGE

-> charles_leclerc WOAH

-> yourusername PIERRE U STUPID FUCK

-> pierregasly I MEANT SON AS IN OUR CAT WHAT THE FUCK

pierregasly i love you ⁉️

-> yourusername EVERYONE THINKS IM PREGNANT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

-> yourusername (i love u so much)

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (XLIV)

Chapter 44 : ‘I go up to the stone wall for a friendly visit.’

Hi! Here is a new chapter! Some best friend shenanigans!

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so no minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 3618

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

A Time to Talk

When a friend calls to me from the road And slows his horse to a meaning walk, I don’t stand still and look around On all the hills I haven’t hoed, And shout from where I am, What is it? No, not as there is a time to talk. I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground, Blade-end up and five feet tall, And plod: I go up to the stone wall For a friendly visit.

Robert Frost

Being back in Belfast felt strange. To be fair, you should have travelled back to this town sooner to visit Siobhán, but you had missed the couple of opportunities that had risen along the past year.

Now you were back in the town where your academic career had begun. Tomorrow, you would go back to visit the university where you had started teaching, where you completed your PhD, where you met your best friend…

… speaking of the devil…

“Y/N!”

You huffed, almost falling over the impact of Siobhán running into your arms. In the busy train station, you noticed a few strangers passing by with an amused look on their faces.

“I’m so happy you’re here!”

“I’m happy too!”

“Oh, and the tree is here too!”

Andrew laughed, giving your friend a hug as well, and your heart grew heavy with warmth at the sight. Andrew fitted so well in your life, with the people you loved most…

“Alright, let’s head to your hotel then… although you two could have stayed at my place…” Siobhán argued, while Andrew was already picking up the suitcase where you had gathered your clothes and his. You were only staying for four days, but they promised to be… eventful, knowing your best friend.

“I wasn’t coming alone, it was easier for us to get a hotel.”

“I mean… if that’s because you’re planning to get laid… perhaps that’s for the best, indeed,” she nodded, giving you and Andrew a disgusted wince that made you laugh. “It’s already quite late though… we should grab something to eat.”

You followed her plan, headed to your hotel so you could check in and leave your suitcase there. Siobhán had come to pick you and Andrew up at the train station, and would be driving you around during your stay, whenever she could. You let Andrew climb in the passenger seat so he could fit his legs somehow better than in the tiny backseat of your friend’s old car.

“I hope you won’t mind giving up your girlfriend for a few hours, Andy,” she joked as she stopped at a red light. “But I need some alone time with her. We have so many things to talk about… we need a proper girls night!”

Andrew merely laughed.

“Of course, I don’t mind. I’ll keep busy while you take my partner from me…”

Partner… that word was kind of new. You had been girlfriend and boyfriend for a long time, but ever since the two of you had moved under the same roof, Andrew had started calling you his partner. There was something so special about the title, something serious, too… something that echoed with equality in your relationship, with the two of you being a team. You loved it. Whenever he used that title, your heart melted.

It felt a little overwhelming though. As you watched the sunset reflect its colours over old buildings and glistening windows, you were worried. You had so much love for him… sometimes you weren’t sure what to do with it. How to show him. How to tell him. How not to fear the strength of it all.

“Only for a few hours. Will you survive?”

“Can’t be sure…” he joked, but it still made you stupidly giggle.

“Tomorrow!” you promised. “Tomorrow we have lunch with The Boss…”

“Christ, don’t I know about that… he’s overexcited, I swear… He couldn’t stop yapping around your lunch the entire week.”

“Cillian is a sweetheart,” you nodded, smiling at the mere thought of seeing your former boss again.

He had been your mentor as a PhD student, had hired you again post-graduation as a post-doc. He was saddened by your decision to leave for Trinity.

“Yes, but tonight, we celebrate you finally coming to visit, and we’re getting fantastically wasted!”

You could only laugh at that, but you didn’t fight your friend’s idea. You wanted to let loose indeed, to enjoy your time spent in your best friend’s company.

And that was exactly what you did. You spent your dinner catching up with her life, joking around with Andrew, who was being the responsible drinker this evening. Siobhán had already given him her car keys, so you and your best friend could enjoy yourselves fully, while your boyfriend would make sure both of you were safe.

Which led to the three of you being lost in a wave of laughter that didn’t seem to ever end, somewhere in some random pub you had stumbled upon.

“Just so you know…” you warned your boyfriend, who dried his wet cheeks on his sleeves, your words slurred by your intoxication, “if they do a lock-in… I’m volunteering you to sing so we can stay… this pub is grand!”

“It’s not the pub that’s grand, it’s just the whosk… the whisk…ey…” Siobhán staggered on her words before drinking another large gulp of the burning liquor.

“I am not singing tonight, darling,” Andrew shook his head. “If they’re kicking everybody out, we’re leaving. Actually, we should soon head out, it’s pretty late, and you’re both very drunk.”

“You’re no craic!” Siobhán complained, before turning to you. “Why did you get a man that’s not craic!”

“Andy’s funny! He’s silly! Very silly,” you defended your man, before being interrupted by a hiccup.

He laughed, kissing your cheek.

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom, and then we’re leaving. Okay? Be good, you two! I won’t be long.”

“Yes, mom!” Siobhán stuck her tongue out.

Andrew stood up, walked towards the bathroom. You watched him as he walked away, towering everyone in the bar, his long curls let loose over his broad shoulders…

You rested your cheek in the palm of your hand and your elbow on the greasy table, heaving a dreamy sigh.

“You’re disgusting looking at him with heart eyes like that,” Siobhán complained, nudging you playfully in the arm.

You stupidly giggled in response.

“Yeah… but look at him… he’s so pretty.”

You lost sight of him, heaved a dramatic sigh as you turned to your friend.

“Don’t get all romantic and sappy on me!” your friend admonished.

“I can’t help it.”

“You’re head-over-heels!”

“I am!” you admitted. “I can’t help it!”

“I must admit, that… Andy’s… kind of… amazing. But! But! But! But he’s…”

“Perfect,” you answered for her, making her wince.

“Of course not! No one’s perfect! What kind of nonsensically nonsensic… nonsense… sensicality are you talking about?”

“Of course… you’re right… he’s not perfect. Sometimes, he gets on my nerves. He’s stubborn sometimes. And he doesn’t fold his socks properly. And last week he ate the last piece of my favourite chocolate. And he doesn’t sleep enough, and it worries me a lot, and sometimes it wakes me up too. And he’s always late, although I don’t really mind that all that much, I like teasing him about that. And when he’s annoyed, he hides stuff very high on shelves so I won’t be able to reach them, although… he does that sometimes just to rile me up, he doesn’t have to be annoyed. And that drives me craaaaazzzyyyyy! But Siobhán… He’s so sweet… He reads the books I like, and he sends me songs he thinks I’ll enjoy. And last month, I twisted my wrist, and it was nothing, but it was painful for a few days, and do you know what he did? He brushed my hair for me every morning for a week, and he helped me wash my hair, and he cooked all the time, and he carried stuff for me… And he makes me laugh sooooo muuuuuch! And he’s so smart, we spend hours talking about politics, and art, and just… anything, really. And he listens to me. And he’s interested in me, and he thinks I’m interesting and that I say interesting things… And you know what else he does? He asks me about my day. Every day!”

Siobhán had grown quiet, listening to you. You were getting more and more emotional through what could have seemed like a silly ramble.

“I love him so much. Like… sometimes it’s overwhelming how much I love him. And I keep on loving him more and more, and I don’t even know how that’s possible, because… it’s like there’s no end to it. When I think I couldn’t love him more, I still do. That’s scary. Sometimes I worry, because… what if he doesn’t feel the same? Like… he’s the real deal, Siobhán. He’s… he’s everything. He’s the one. I think… I think he’s the love of my life.”

You blinked tears away, heaving a sigh. Your friend reached for your hand.

“There is one last thing we need to question before we can state whether or not he’s the one for you.”

“What is it?”

“How good is he in bed?”

You both exploded with laughter, but your answer was earnest nonetheless.

“Oh… All I will say is… I’m never disappointed.”

You were lost in a new fit of giggles.

“Really? That good?”

You nodded.

“Oh, yeah…”

You struggled to calm down, quieten your laughter. Meanwhile, Siobhán seemed to be gathering her courage now.

“Actually… I wanted to tell you… I think I have a crush…” she mumbled before covering her mouth with both her hands.

“A CRUSH!?”

“Shhhhhh! It’s a secret! Secret… like… in secrecy!”

“Who is it?”

“You can’t tell anyone!”

“I won’t!”

You swore an unbreakable pinky promise.

“I… like… Andy’s friend.”

“What? Which one?”

“His best friend!”

“ALEX?!”

“SHHHHHHH!”

“Sorry…” you whispered. “But, Alex?!”

“Yeah… after we helped you moving together, we bumped into each other again in a pub. And he was super nice! But I didn’t really think much about it. He gave me his number, because as you and Prince Charming are glued to the hip, we were doomed to cross path again. But then, he asked me if I wanted to go for a pint, and I said yes. And we talked, a lot. And we did it again, and again… And two weeks ago, he invited me to one of his gigs, cause it was here in Belfast, and mamma mia, Y/N. MAMMA MIA!”

She moved her hands in the air, looking up at the heavens.

“He was so fucking hot!”

You hummed, nodding your head, picturing Andrew singing in your mind… sweating, throwing his head back, closing his eyes, his fingers moving across guitar strings…

“Yeah… it’s hot.”

“He’s a bassist, Y/N! I can’t fight against that!”

“Hmmm… I get it. But… did you tell him?”

She bit her lip.

“Maybe, after that gig, we… hooked up?”

“WHAT?! YOU SLEPT WITH ALEX?!”

“SHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“You slept with Alex?!”

“Yes! And it was… amazing!”

She couldn’t refrain a grin. But you knew her like the back of your hand. You narrowed your eyes at her.

“But?”

She bit on her thumb.

“But… then I kind of… panicked… I left in the morning, and I’ve kind of… ghosted him.”

“Why would you do that?! Alex is nice! He’s a good lad!”

“I know! That’s what scares me! Like… I could… properly fall for him! And I don’t want that! I’m strong and independent!”

“You can be strong, independent, and in love!”

“Can I?”

“Of course! Look at me! I’m all of that!”

She gave you a tender smile.

“Yes, you are. But… I don’t know… the past few years, I’ve really enjoyed having fun, and just… enjoying being a woman without any attach, and having one-night stands and exploring sex. I… I don’t think I’d like not being exclusive with Alex, I really care about him.”

“Then… be exclusive. You can keep exploring and having fun… just with him.”

“Do you do that with Andy? Can you do that with just one person?”

“Yeah! Of course!”

She heaved a sigh, burying her face in her hands

“But it’s scary.”

“Loving someone is scary. But it’s worth it, I think. I’m scared all the time with Andy. But then I look at him, or I kiss him, or I talk with him… and I just… know that this is right. That he’s right for me. I can’t explain it. But he makes it worth the fear of losing him and being vulnerable before him.”

You were the one to reach for her hand now.

“I think that… tomorrow, once you’ve sobered up… you should call him. He’s a nice lad. I’m sure you two could be happy together.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah… yeah, I think so,” you nodded.

“Alright, I will.”

You exchanged a smile, and then Andrew was standing next to you again. He gave you a tender smile.

“Shall we go, love?”

You nodded, and he helped you to your feet. He drove Siobhán home, made sure she was safely in her flat before he called a uber and went back to the hotel with you. He helped you reach your shared room, started to help you undress so you could go to bed.

“Honey…”

He knew what that tone meant, but he threw you a cautious look while he helped you step out of your jeans.

“Baby?” he asked in a careful tone.

“I…”

You stared right into his eyes, and it was hard to deny that he wanted you while you stared at him like that, with that determined glint in your eyes, standing there, looking glorious in nothing but your underwear…

But you were drunk.

“I want you,” you huskily whispered, reaching for the buttons of his shirt, but he stopped your hands immediately.

“You’re drunk, hun,” he stated flatly.

“But I want you.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I do!”

“Babe… let’s go to bed. Come on. Tomorrow.”

You pouted, but didn’t argue. You took off your bra without a care for Andrew standing before you, and he helped you put on his old Thin Lizzy t-shirt.

You rubbed at your tired eyes.

“You need to drink some water, baby,” he instructed, walking to the bathroom to pour you a glass. “Then, we can go to bed.”

“Okay.”

You soon joined him in the bathroom though, and you reached for your toothbrush in the small bag by the sink.

“Do you need help with that?” Andrew asked as you struggled with the toothpaste.

“No, I can do it. I’m a strong, independent woman… and I am all that while being in love.”

He chuckled, something tender in his gaze.

“That you are. But you’re sure you don’t want some help with that toothpaste?”

“Nope!”

He nodded, kissed your hair.

“You call me if you need anything, okay? I’m gonna get changed too.”

“Okay.”

A few minutes later, you were both in bed, you in his arms and already almost asleep.

You let his warmth relax your tired muscles; his peaceful breathing lulled you to sleep, his scent blurred your senses…

“I love you, baby,” you whispered in his shirt.

You felt his smile against your hair as he kissed you goodnight.

“I love you too, darling.”

Seeing you wearing his clothes was Andrew’s favourite thing in the world.

Although, now that he came to think of it, he loved kissing you an awful lot too.

And having sex with you.

And talking with you.

Well, let’s say that it was one of his favourite things…

“Ouch… my head… I’m too old for this…”

Your groan made him laugh, he watched as you stretched across the bed like a cat, watched the fabric of his shirt moving over your chest.

“How drunk was I last night?” you asked, rubbing at your eyes to gather the strength to finally open them.

“Hammered.”

“Yeah, I can believe that.”

You looked at him, reached for his hand across the bed.

“I hope I wasn’t too much trouble.”

“Of course not. You had fun, that’s all.”

“Did I do anything stupid? It’s very messy in here… I need to think.”

You furrowed your brow as you tried to collect your thoughts, Andrew guessed that your memories of the previous night were a little messy.

He hesitated for a moment. He wasn’t particularly proud of how he had behaved, he knew he should have stepped back, but he hadn’t…

When you and Siobhán were talking, he walked back to the table merely a couple of minutes after disappearing. But instead of seating next to you again, he stopped and listened while you were unaware of his presence. It wasn’t spying, or at least he hoped it wasn’t. But you were having a private conversation with your friend, and he listened when he should have given you some time alone. But you were talking of him, and… he wanted to know. He needed to know what you thought of him.

Despite feeling bad about listening to your conversation, Andrew felt more at peace thanks to it. Because he felt the same about you. If you had made these drunken confessions to your friend, it had to be because you meant them. It had to mean that you loved him as much you said you did.

“So… I have the pub… oh… I’ll have to tell you something Siobhán told me last night, but you have to promise not to tell a soul, cause it’s a secret! And then… we took her home.”

Your frown deepened.

“I remember… wait… did we…?”

You raised a suggestive eyebrow, but Andrew merely rolled his eyes.

“You were drunk,” was his only answer, and you gave him a grateful smile.

“Right, so nothing happened.”

“You’ve covered half the bathroom with toothpaste trying to brush your teeth, but beside that… not much happened, no.”

“Did I?”

“A little bit.”

“Sorry,” you winced, making him laugh, bright and loud.

“Don’t apologise, it wasn’t that bad. I’ve been worse when out with Alex and the rest of the gang.”

You laughed at the memory.

“You were so out of it…”

You noticed then that something was off. Despite his tender caress over your knuckles, despite his tender smile, you knew there was something on his mind. He tried to hide it, but he could never hide anything from you, you knew him too well for that.

“Is everything okay, honey? Did I do something stupid last night?” you asked, your frown back on your lovely features, and he kissed the crease across your brow to soothe it.

He heaved a sigh.

“I… You did nothing wrong, I did. I’m really sorry.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“No… no, I did something… I feel bad about it. I’m sorry.”

“What did you do?”

He bit on his lower lip, went to rub at his collarbone, but you held both his hands instead.

“You remember talking with Siobhán? Just the two of you? Right before we left the pub?”

You nodded.

“I… I came back from the bathroom before… what I said. I just… I planned on walking away and keeping an eye on you while you finished your conversation, but I didn’t. I listened to the conversation, even though you were confiding with her, and I knew it. I knew I wasn’t supposed to hear what you were saying. I’m sorry. I just… you were talking about us, and I… I got too curious. I’m sorry.”

You averted your eyes, sat up, seemingly upset.

He followed your movements, chased after you. You didn’t push him away when he rested his head on your shoulder. Good. You weren’t too mad…

“What did you hear?”

“Quite a lot. Too much.”

“Are you… are you freaked out?”

He shook his head.

“No, I’m not. I’m… relieved.”

“Relieved?”

“That you feel the same as I do.”

He heard your sharp intake of breath, tried to soothe it with a sweet kiss on your shoulder.

“You do? Feel like that?”

“Yeah… I do.”

You reached for his cheek, held his face in the palm of your hand so he would look at you. Did you know how much of him you held in this palm of yours? How much of his heart, of his love, of his life…?

“Baby… I…”

“I love you. More than anything in this world,” he interrupted you, tone firm yet tender, trying to make you believe his words.

You smiled.

“I love you too.”

There wasn’t much else to say. He was starting to believe that you would stay, that you did love him as much as he loved you, that this could work for a long, long time… that maybe you could love him for a lifetime, without any regret…

He was about to kiss you when your phone rang, breaking the fragile silence of the room. You cursed under your breath, but it was Siobhán’s name shining over your screen, so you picked up despite Andrew reaching to keep you close.

“Hello?”

“Y/N! I’VE FUCKED UP!”

You pulled the phone away from your ear because of your friend’s shout. She was panicking… wait, was she crying? Andrew had never seen or heard her crying before.

“What happened? Are you okay?” you asked, clearly concerned.

“You remember what I told you last night, right? Wait… is Andy with you?”

You exchanged a glance, but he nodded. Yeah, he had heard that part of the conversation too…

“Yeah, he’s with me, but that’s okay.”

“This is none of his business.”

“Siobhán… Andy and I have no secrets for each other.”

“Oh, you and your bloody romanticism!”

“Is it about Alex?” you asked, and Siobhán wailed over the phone.

“I DRUNK DIALED HIM! Y/N! AND I WAS FUCKING PATHETIC! WHAT DO I FUCKING DO?!”

“Erm… wait, we’ll think of something…”

But right at that moment, Andrew’s phone rang, and Alex’s name appeared on his screen.

You exchanged a worried glance.

“Shit!”

“Shit!”

[yippeeometer]

Yippeeometer, Im gonna need those Mass headcanons please and thank you

IVE WAITED YEARS FR THIS DAY!!!!!! MASSHOLES RISEEE!!!!!!!! WE MAY NEVER SEE OUR FAMILIES FOR BOSTON TRAFFIC GODDAMNIT BUT WE ARE PROUD!!!!!!!

incapable of normalcy and i truly mean that.

look theres a very specific vibe to mass and its 'will call in a bomb threat to get himself out of doing stuff he hates'

I HATE HIMMMM

so insane he's beyond dark humor atp that man grew up with puritans trying to convince him nothing was fun and now makes ass jokes for a living. what a 180.

oh and hes irritatingly cool even though hes such a dick. he's got big beautiful eyes and youre laughing along even though hes absolutely mocking u.

sports arent just sports its his way of life. which is why he wants to DIE because the red sox SUCK BALLS

sat there like a renaissance painting of despair in a dark room as the red sox fumble another game. phone illuminated w/ ny and nj sending him videos of the play with the sound of their laughter pasted on top.

'jock mass' 'nerd mass' get real he would be that one guy on the school newspaper that gets banned within the week for posting articles that are wayyyyy too radical to be necessary

he's be a journalist i fear. i fear he turns up to ur press conference and tears instantly spring to ur eyes bc hes got this shiteating grin that just says hes going to drag yours and your grandmothers name through the mud.

yk what i dont even fear. i am PROUD. no better job for a petty hoe than to write thinly veiled insults all day everyday.

sat there cackling into his computer describing one of maine's books as 'so bad its become a hatecrime to a group that doesnt exist' whilst maine actively tries to throttle him

hes such a MESSY BITCH INSTIGATOR. killing him with a rock until he's dead.

i could go on and on and i shall. man collects degrees, but not for fun as we may presume. its to win arguments against people so he can just casually pull out 'as someone w a phd-'

ok sue me he and rado would be great together. bc mass the type of guy to need to be the most impressive person in the room and anythig's impressive when youre stoned. rado sat there gasping in shock as he ties his shoelaces. gay.

if theres one mental image i have of him its that he claims that coats are for pussies to piss of ny and then spends the next 100 years only wearing t shirts and jeans. catches hypothermia 10 billion times. virginia interrogated daily for his taste in men.

ok furthermore and he cant drive. have u ever been to boston. its like a fucking psa on how to die most efficently.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 11

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH. 11

“One paddle-paddle, two paddle-paddle-.”

“HEYYY! Miss me, little brother?”

“...What the f-”

“It’s ironic! You used to smother me, with your dependency and lack of originality. Now I’m smothering you, by keeping you in a cage. It’s poetic, in a way.”

“...What are you supposed to be?”

“It’s just me, Stanford Pines. I’m definitely your twin brother, and not a maniac who kidnapped you because I can’t admit when I’m wrong or accept that I push people away.”

“Naw, you’re not him.”

“I assure you-.”

“No. Whatever you are? You’re not the guy who's been keeping me down here. You’re something else.”

“Oh?”

“This some… Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation? You one of those hive mind aliens that possess people? Or…?”

“Sixer was right to not underestimate you, conman. Let’s just say I’m a friend.”

“I’ve heard that before, but I recognize another wiseguy when I see one. What do you really want?”

“Why are you in denial, Stanley?”

“Denial is my fourth best skill, actually. It’s right above hoeing, and right below theft.”

“...Ignoring that. Why do you keep insisting you’re not Stanley Pines?”

“Show me the proof, guy.”

“You and Stanford have the same face.”

“Some people are just like that.”

“You have no memory of having a family, but Fordsy here has a gap in his, a gap you could slot into so easily.”

“Lot’s of families ‘lose’ members to homelessness.”

“Sounding a little bitter there, conman. Got personal feelings about that?”

“People aren’t ‘lost’ to homelessness, they’re forgotten. For the comfort of everyone else; for people who love to wax poetically about how other people struggle, but don’t have the stomach to look at it with their own eyes.”

“Well, well, well, well, well-.”

“Buddy, you get a nickel every time you say that?”

“Funny. What’s also funny is your ‘deep insight’. You’re so mad about people like you being forgotten, and yet… You forgot you.”

“What’s your point?”

“Why are you afraid of remembering? Are you afraid that you’ll remember loving people who couldn’t be bothered to remember you?”

“You seem to think you know a lot about me. Why don’t you tell me?”

“I think you cling to this ‘hardcore vagabond with no past’ persona because it’s convenient for you. Because it’s less painful for you. I think you wanted something so bad at one point that it consumed you, and when you couldn’t have it, there wasn’t anything significant left of you.”

“Wow. That’s quite a theory. Wanna hear the one I have about you?”

“Hit me, conman.”

“Oh, I wish I could. My theory is that you’re a lonely, nosey, parasitic little bi-.”

*‘Ford’ presses the mute button*

“Sorry Stanley, but I’m getting the last laugh here- and you’re giving me the bird. No, two birds. The audience will never know if you’re actually doing that, or if I’m just saying that you are.”

(...)

“Hey, Doc?”

“Yes, Stanley?”

“You know how I normally don’t ask you questions about your life because you’re crazy and I’m here against my will?”

“...Are you about to ask me a question?”

“Did you make a Faustian bargain with some eldritch abomination?”

“...What?!”

“Or… Do you use cocaine? I’d believe either, but I can help you with that second one if that’s it; you see, the key to kicking the habit is-.”

“Stanley. Why are you asking this?”

“Because last night something possessed you and tried talking to me about my feelings. But it failed because I don’t have any. What was that?”

“...Nothing possessed me.”

“PhD, you are terrible at lying.”

“Nobody possessed me! You must have just been dreaming.”

“No, I don’t have dreams. I only have nightmares about being suffocated. Or the IRS. Or the IRS suffocating me.”

“...What?”

“Are you a Warlock?”

“A- a what?”

“There’s this game that dorks play - and there's elves, and wizards, and stuff. Warlocks are those guys who use magic, but they have to get it from otherworldly entities. Are you that? Is that what you are?”

“...You are talking about the tabletop roleplaying game, Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons?”

“Yes.”

“You.. play that?”

“No. I never played it.”

“But you know the mechanics?”

“Some of it. Just the basic stuff. None of the actual- I don’t know, rules? Something something something D38; something something something THAC0.”

“How do you know?”

“I dunno, I don’t think too hard about it. Anyways,  so you’re a Warlock and you’re hiding it because your patron, boss, eldritch pimp, or whatever you wanna call it is gonna be mad at you? Is that what this is?”

“Stanley, please. Stuff like that is simply… fantasy.”

“Oh really? This is coming from the guy who has an anatomically accurate poster of a dissected fairy that you drew yourself.”

“...You can see that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s right over there.”

“Stanley, you should not be able to see that. It’s too far away, and you’re not wearing glasses or contacts.”

“Doc, I don’t need glasses.”

“You have needed them our entire lives, just like I do. You have a bad habit of breaking them, or not wearing them because you think you won’t look cool.”

“Shows just how much you know. Are you gonna tell me what that thing last night was? Or are you going to keep changing the topic and hope that I get too distracted to follow up?”

“Nothing happened last night. I’m not a warlock. I can’t believe you lied to me all those years ago when you told me you ignored all of my long talks about the finer mechanics and lore surrounding DD&D. And you should need glasses.”

*Ford goes upstairs*

“Well, guess I have nothing better to do than to take a nap. I wonder how the IRS is going to suffocate me this time…”

To be continued…

[alanrants]

Roleplaying alone in my room as Mark is so fun. "I'm a virgin cus I have trust issues. I want that pussy but that shit has teeth. I'm evil cus I'm traumatized. Ask me how my life was in the streets and I'll be having Vietnam war flashbacks. This shit ain't nothing to me man. Them order of the gauntlet hoes are racist towards psychos; not all of us kill people especially when we wear these fine clothes. I don't plan, I improvise; I'm too dumb to plan shit. Don't make me do gymnastics to understand your PhD vernacular. That blue mint feywild zaza made my throat creak. The last time I snorted some of that obi one cannoli skittle dust the tavern had to close for maintenance for a week; i was processing shit so fast that I don't remember any of it. My thrift store business was so good that I was able to pay my employees above minimum wage; made the merchant guild so mad they became the IRS. If I was a devil I'll be putting fine print in contracts, but I don't do that; if I don't like you I'll whoop your ass till your gums bleed. Instead of going to the nine hells I'm going to the abyss; the nine hells are too tame for me. If I start getting vulnerable, slap me because I shouldn't be."

[blogger-theo-herbots]

Hoe geluk in je leven te vinden || How to find happiness in your life

Hoe geluk in je leven te vinden Click on the link to translation From Dutch to English Onderzoek suggereert vier belangrijke strategieën die zullen helpen Bij  Arlin Cuncic  Bijgewerkt op 11 september 2022  Medisch beoordeeld bij  Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS Inhoudsopgave Blijf altijd verbeteren Omring jezelf met gelukkige mensen Roep positieve herinneringen op Collectieve doelen of…

[macncheesenibblers]

IM DONE WITH MY ADVISING APPOINTMENTS!!!

[toournextadventure]

THE OC LORE THE OC LORE LETS HEAR IT??

JUST LET ME KNOW WHAT KIND OF OC LORE YOU WANT BESTIE

But I'll give you some very basic life stories about birb!Reader's older family for fun 😌 if you wanna know about the siblings, let me know, I've got lots more 👀

Reader's ENTIRE adopted family is full of Outcasts, unwanted people, and those that ended up alone whether on purpose or not. It's constantly growing so it's always an absolute madhouse and everyone is either an aunt, an uncle, or a sibling. Chaos always ensues

Her Grandpa, for example, is a true European vampire. He was a blacksmith centuries ago and is the one who teaches Reader all of her "old school" skills. All of her swordfighting skills came from him and he's the one who made the sword for Gomez. One of his favourite pastimes is throwing pop quizzes at all the grandkids to see if they're keeping up with their Romanian. He'll be damned if his grandkids don't learn his language (at least they think it's his language, he has never confirmed a single thing ever in his life). When Wednesday comes around, he's pleasantly surprised at her intellect; they talk for hours in languages Reader doesn't understand

Then there's her Abuelita. She and her parents had come up from Mexico when she was only 4 or 5 and grew up in Southern Texas. They got scattered when she was about 24 and ended up on the East Coast where she met Grandpa and the rest is history (Reader is convinced she only speaks Spanish. Jokes on her, Abuelita speaks perfect English, but the joke has been going on for so long that she can't give up on it now). She bullies Reader even more when Wednesday is around, just to see the amusement on Wednesday's face when Reader gets frustrated

Auntie C is a bad bitch, we stan. She grew up in foster care in Seattle and was miraculously adopted by Abuelita and Grandpa. Easily got her PhD and is a neurosurgeon who does NOT take any shit from the kids, especially the older ones because they damn well know better. No spouse, no kids (except for the Family Kids), ALWAYS in her hoe phase, she is living her absolute best life. She also takes no shit from Wednesday, throwing her own threats right back; it's a wonderful bonding experience

Tio's parents sent him to America at 11 so he couldn't get drawn into the Colombian Cartel. Spent almost three years roaming before being found by Aunti C, who befriended him and eventually brought him home. He's a musician at heart and taught Nicky how to play guitar (he tried teaching Reader, and she's not too shabby, but not near as good as Nicky). Tio, more often than not, is the one who teases Reader most and ABSOLUTELY gives her all kinds of shit when he finds out about Wednesday

Pop probably has the most traumatic past. Growing up on the East Coast, his father (and uncle and cousin) died in a coal mine collapse. Not long after, his mom took her own life, leaving him alone. He was adopted out of an orphanage and became the youngest of Abuelita and Grandpa's group. He and momma were high school sweethearts that got married out of college (he knows more than most about Reader's struggle with her anger, and he's her biggest supporter). He thinks Wednesday is a good anchor for Reader to finally start trying to heal

Momma, strangely enough, had a perfectly normal life. She still talks with her parents, has one sister and a few nieces and nephews. Everyone teases her for not having trauma, to which she says "watch it before I GIVE YOU something traumatic to worry about." She mother's Wednesday in her own way and even though Wednesday will never admit it, she enjoys the genuine care from someone other than her own family

[meangirlpolitics]

Being a successful Cool Girl is a surefire gateway to absolutely hating men. Wannabe Cool Girls, the women and girls who keep trying to be the Cool Girl but don’t quite get there, don’t realize that the Cool Girl endgame is men genuinely assuming that you’ll be down with misogyny and letting you see things that will traumatize you forever. I was a good Cool Girl for a very brief period, and it’s absolutely what radicalized me. I wish every woman knew the shit that men said to me and in front of me about them. I tried to find all the girls I had names for online to tell them the truth, and I still feel guilty, 6 years later, about the ones I couldn’t locate.

A guy proudly sent me dozens of different nudes that he was secretly screenshotting from Snapchat with some sketchy app. “How is a fat girl like a bicycle? It’s fun to ride until your friends see.” Did you know that nearly every man uses some degree of incel terminology to talk about women? “Bros before hoes” isn’t a joke - men have the strongest class solidarity I’ve ever seen in my fucking life; a man will defend another man that he hates, another man that he’s never even met, over pretty much any woman. Most men genuinely believe that women think totally differently than they do, that women are confusing liars and that’s why relationships don’t work out. Your ��feminist ally” male friends and coworkers are calling you a feminazi cunt while they drink beer, and it means nothing to them. Men discuss porn like they’re phD art historians analyzing the design of a Renuar.

Most importantly, the very, very few men who aren’t like this, who didn’t actually say sexist things or talk shit about women - they never stood up to the other men. Ever. When men are alone with their bros and the Cool Girls, the “good men” still don’t say a fucking word in defense of women. If you’re the Cool Girl and you say something, you’re immediately excommunicated forever, and the “good man” texts you later to say he agreed and he’s sorry, but he doesn’t stand up for you. He knew the whole time that the moment you opened your mouth all the other men would add you to the hatable female category, and he’s not gonna risk it happening to him. And guess what? Even before you say anything, even when you’re still the Cool Girl, the guys are talking about you the same way they talk about other women when you’re not around. I heard them do it to the other Cool Girls.

[wumblr]

i feel extraordinarily compelled to reveal all the secrets i've been keeping because at this point it presents more of a liability to leave them unknown and this is after all the rant journal that arbitrarily didn't get deleted when my leather fetish blog did (probably because both were a major draw for ad revenue for the site at one point) but like... those of you who would not judge me for charging $1000/hr for sex work WOULD judge me for putting some of it in bitcoin at exactly the right time because i thought i could see it coming. and those of you who would judge me for neither would want to know all my trade secrets. and at least one person i respect has said "if you engaged in financial speculation during the pandemic i hate you" which like. fair. the secret is if you're going into a ponzi scheme, you have to get out while it's up. nah i'm just kidding you have to target guys who consider themselves straight but secretly crave being dominated. it seems obvious, right? i shouldn't tell you this: they don't know what a normal rate is. and to be honest neither do i because they kept saying "sure that sounds fine" to the rate. insane. ok bye i'm deleting. unless any of you are buying...? but i don't have any of my gear right now because i left it at my ex-fiance's house because i thought. i really thought. didn't i. i thought i was getting out of the industry. I SAID IT WOULD BE FUNNY SOMEDAY do you even know how hard it was to keep this under wraps. i LOVE oversharing. that's what happened to the fiance i think if i had kept up the persona the whole time he would probably still like me but he was not paying so. he got the whole person. BIG mistake. still unclear whether it's over. if anybody can figure out some life advice to derive from this could you tell me what it is? because i'm literally. in indiana. GOD. IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY. you can unfollow me for this. it's okay. did anybody else have a pandemic this weird or am i just living life at a 10 (standard deviations from norm)? and they didn't even print anything i said in that interview for the atlantic. i'm a $500 hoe on average because half the time i just do things for $0 because they sound interesting. i think the life advice is "do not do any of this" but how, on god, was i supposed to know that?? actually the trade secret is i kind of look like christian wilde. if he looked like shaggy rogers. if he was a phd candidate. and THAT is why i will never do a face reveal. somebody would be like "no you don't, your eyes are lopsided" and i would have to be like (ani difranco lyric from 2005 about having the kind of beauty that moves). not that it particularly matters for the sake of my clientele because they usually want the hood. anyway, this is why camp is homosexual. because it's inescapable. thank you for my tedtalk. sorry for fucking your man i guess i hope he's well

[thesargasmicgoddess]

When your hoe and academic worlds overlap 😬

That awkward moment when fellow members of your Ph.D. cohort ponder becoming OnlyFans content creaters, over wading through the immense workload of a doctoral program....

And you're thinking....DONE THAT! 😂😉😈🤓

I'm chalking all of this up to a life well-lived, so far!❤️

[lovenona]

Ooh sweetie. You think sukuna learns what jealousy is when you slowly starts to spend more time with the arrogant fuck that is geto? Wait until econ major gojo satoru comes in. (I need to say it again: i absolutely adore your works! Have a great day ! )

welcome back!! i see you with econ major gojo but, in cahoots with @softkuna, i raise you: teacher’s assistant gojo satoru, 27, who is completing his dissertation on post-impressionism and will soon have a phD. this string bean of a man literally looks like he’s twelve years old and shouldn’t even be in college, but he is legally allowed to teach discussion sections, host office hours, and grade your papers. (yeah, i know. it’s terrifying.)  

phd candidate gojo satoru is an absolute menace in the classroom – he barely teaches, just clicks through the professor’s powerpoint slides and teases them for their awful aesthetic choices and apparent inability to use technology. he’ll make fun of the artwork, too, instead of analyzing it: why does that baby look like a full-grown adult? do y’all see this wack perspective? in essence, he’s one of those cursed teachers where you leave the lecture even more confused than before. all gojo satoru does is eat hot chip, lie, wear his silly little sunglasses indoors and act as if you already know the material through osmosis or something. (babe, we don’t, you’re supposed to tell us.)

phd candidate gojo satoru is also the hoe professor that calls on students who aren’t paying attention because he thinks it’s funny. his favorite student to terrorize, of course, being ryomen sukuna: there’s an unspoken rivalry between them, a tension that borders somewhere between hatred and jealousy. it’s what happens when you put the two most arrogant fucks in a room together! shit always hits the fan. gojo will ask sukuna an outrageous question, to which sukuna will give an equally outrageous answer. they then argue, quite intellectually and on a range of topics, for at least 30 minutes. someone usually live tweets the scene. someone is crying because they just wanted to go over the material.

and yet, for gojo’s absolutely pitiful teaching style (seriously this man should have awful ratings) somehow he is one of the smartest academics in the entire department. he’s received every fellowship academia has to offer. he’s already quite famous in the art history world despite the fact he hasn’t even finished his dissertation yet. he’s insanely popular on campus, too – everyone wants to be in his classes, even if they’d be better off with professor nanami, who actually helps you understand the content and cares about your success. gojo’s just got that aura where you want to be around him, and because he’s so chill and fun you often forget that he’s a full-grown adult who is supposed to be mentoring you. 

(also, this man absolutely has a tiktok where he posts “relatable” content about his day-to-day life and really niche jokes about artwork and art history. somehow, he’s always going viral. like bitch please just answer my email asking about this week’s assignment it’s been three days.)

(part of the artist!sukuna universe) 

[goldnkuro]

´ ´ learn the alphabet with noir ` `

a/n: anything that is in italics is in korean. i’ve been wanting to do this one for a while and it took me quite some days to think while making sure she’s in character poaskposkpksapos ALSO, let me know if any of you want to know the backstory of any of the quotes!

a:

“ayyyyyyy my man.” (greeting her male friends)

"annyeonghaseyo bishes.”

“at this point, i don’t even care anymore.”

b:

“banana BA NA NA NAAAAAAAA.”

“by the way, if i ever see anyone saying bad things to eun-chae just because she’s bi, expect to hear from my lawyer.”

“bruh moment.”

c:

“commence the yoinkage.”

“covid, PUH LEASE, get the hell out, you’ve overstayed your welcome, no one wants you here.”

“caffeine addict is what they call me, now pass me that cup so i can one-shot it.”

d:

“dude, I know what I’m doing, trust me. I got phd on youtube.”

“do you ever stare at people to see what their reaction will be? because i do.”

“DISCO TIME!”

e:

“eh, i’m gay.”

“everyone, i got an important question, is buttcheeks one word or should i spread them apart?”

“ehehehehe, i’ll clown all my members, ehehehehehe.”

f:

“first of all, i’m a claw machine master, okay? have some faith on me."

“fu-, sh-, dam-, AH you know what, i give up.”

“fancy uUUuuuuuu.” (voice crack)

g:

“guys shut the heck up, i’m listening to ateez”

“gosh, how can i be so talented?”

“gO GO GO GO, GET HIM!”

h:

“how about no?”

“hi horsie.” (feeding the horse with carrots while patting its neck)

"hamlet once said and i quote: 'o fuck'."

i:

“i’ve come to announce, i adopted a child.” (turns the camera to show mingi with yoo on his lap) “by the way, mingi’s the child.”

“i hate my brother, i want a new one.”

“i demand a refund on this friendship.”

j:

“jinnie could slap me with her vocal and i would still thank her.”

“je t'aime, mes gems.”

“just, what the heck is wrong with you?”

k:

“KI TWIN IS HERE! WHERE’S THE KO TWIN?! HARUKO!”

“ke ke ke… yes this is my weird laugh.”

“KILL THEM, EAT ALL THEIR CHILDREN!”

l:

“lol, sucks to be you.”

“logistically, soo-jin can’t live without me.”

“laura and jinnie are the demonic duo i would never dare to mess with.”

m:

“math should be permanently banned from existence.”

“mingi-ah, why are you and yunho such a hoe?”

“mayday mayday, haru’s being way too sweet.”

n:

“not my problem.”

“nan michin deushi awooo.”

“no, i won’t be growing taller any sooner, i already accepted it.”

o:

“oh god, why me?”

“obolary.”

“OH MY- boi.”

p:

“peniel, i love you, brother, i really do, but could you kindly rid ourselves of your presence?”

“protecc haru and hua at all costs.”

“please stop asking for my brother, he’s stinky and i’m better company.”

q:

“quoting the legendary hamlet, ‘no’.”

“quack.”

“q t? wait, are you flirting with me? wot.”

r:

“really? right in front of my salad?”

“RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”

“rEEEEE!”

s:

“soo-young isn’t responding to normies at the moment, try again later.”

“santa claus doesn’t exist, sorry.”

“sup? how you doin’ babe?”

t:

“today’s tmi is that i’ll always be the prettiest.”

“there’s no filter when it comes to me, and we all know that.”

“... the more you know, i guess.”

u:

“um, am i interrupting something?” (seeing the maknaes cuddling up together)

“usually some of the members would accompany me on things like this, but it seems that i was ditched.”

“uh-huh… and what made you believe that i would actually do aegyo for free?”

v:

“vroom vroom.”

“venus might the quietest between us, but honestly? she’s the real demon.”

“verrry naiseu.”

w:

“whenever someone tells me ‘i love you noir’, i either throw up or say that i love me too.”

“watch me covering all the title songs from my favorite groups.”

“wae wae wae wae wae wae wae wae wae wae?” (annoying eun-chae)

x:

“xoxo is always the way when you’re lazy to write properly but still want to make it cute.”

“XIAN HUA!”, “yes?”, “... i love you.”

y:

“YASSSSS QUEEN”

“YEET!”

“you just got gnome’d.” (gnome noise)

z:

“zombie movies are good… for background noise, i mean.”

“zoos are fun, i can pet some animals for free.”

[practicalmagicintuitions]

This was a submission, I will react to it here, Above. Thank you for sending me this in and sorry, that I only post it now, I don't see Submisssions from my phone.

I will be short as much as possible.

Everything is very interesting you say but I think you made the same mistakes that most fans tend to make with him. Confusing explanations and excuses.

His abandonment is an explanation and can explain everything he is doing and has been done or at least most of it. But those are not excuses. Me and my anons not just saying he uses women as you said. We also said many times he has unsolved trauma and needs therapy. We not just bashing him but we cannot go to therapy instead of him. We cannot help. I made mistakes here but I am careful about the ask I am sharing for the exact reason you said, that he is a human.

But you also said "He really needs a mate who truly wants to understand who he is and what he is all about. Not the good looking man or the celebrity. He needs that one person who provides him with the love and security that he not only desires, but really needs. That will be the person who he will love forever."

And I found this similar to what fans usually are saying when they are excusing him instead of trying to understand him. The only person he truly really needs and who has to provide him love, security and understanding is a person named Henry William Dalgliesh Cavill born in 05/05/1983. No one else can help him. A therapist only can help you to hoe to help yourself. If you don't want to go but forced into therapy it will never work. Everything is starting with the realisation " I am not well, I cannot help myself alone, I need help" That's the first step.

Thank you for take the time and sending this in. It's appreciated.

----------------------

Professor of Psychology Anon here. I am a PHD in Psychology and I would like to comment on your blog if I may. I apologize in advance and this may be a fairly lengthy post.

I have studied Psychology for a little over 25 years, have a private practice and teach at a local University. I specialize in patients who have experienced trauma, whether it be physical or psychological. Over the last 2.5 years I have been studying people in pop culture (Influencers, Celebrities and Professional Athletes). There are a handful that I have studied in depth and one has been Henry Cavill. As a disclaimer, I have not spoken with him nor am I treating him in any way. My comments here are based on my own personal research.

As part of that research, I have reviewed and studied him in depth. Not what the public says about him, but from watching him in forums where he is speaking and answering questions. I know little of his family situations, friendships or romantic relationships. In addition to this, I have also been reading blogs, including this one, to get an idea what the perception is of him (as I do with the other celebrities and athletes I have been studying). 

As I have not treated him and certainly don't know the details of his life, this is not an official diagnosis, but my professional opinion, based on what I know only. So, if I may, I would like to let you know my thoughts on him overall.

It is very clear to me that he has some sort of trauma in the form of abandonment issues. When I hear what he says about leaving home at a young age and sent to boarding school, how he was bullied and what he says about calling home and his mother not answering - that really tells me all I need to know and this is just one documented example. This also gives me a good idea as to why he goes from relationship to relationship - let me explain. Abandonment comes in many forms...it can be when your parents die at a young age and you are left with others to take care of you, it can happen in a marriage where a woman feels her husband is more dedicated to his work than her...I think you can see where I'm going with this. Being sent away to school at a very impressionable age and being ignored, not feeling love or support and being made fun of at the same time can take quite a toll on a still developing limbic system in the brain. The limbic system is responsible for controlling behavioural and emotional responses.

Based on the the trauma, that portion of the brain has endured, it will result in different types of behaviour. Based on the comments I've seen on your blog, a number of your readers, including yourself, have surmised that he uses women, he goes from relationship to relationship, etc. That may actually be the case, but I think differently. I believe that he has trauma in the form of abandonment. People with these types of trauma very rarely stay in long term relationships, they don't really get close to others, they rarely show who they truly are and this is all based on emotional turmoil. In Henry's case, I think he's afraid that if he gives his true self - emotions and all - to one individual, that eventually they will leave him. What he seems to be doing is a very common and natural way to prevent the emotions that come along with abandonment - don't get too close, don't show your true self, don't love too deeply. If a woman is in a relationship with a person with this type of trauma, they will more than likely feel that he doesn't love them. His hot/cold attitude towards them is because he may be feeling he is getting too close for his comfort level and backs off, probably by being aloof. What he really needs is security and I'm sure he's not getting it in the relationships he's been in. Alot of women expect the man to shower them with affection, to ensure they are loved all the time and he won't do that - so they leave. The other secnario is that he may feel that he doesn't trust this person with all of his insecurities and flaws and they will eventually leave him one day, so he does it himself, so he doesn't have to endure the feelings with someone leaving him. I have alot of compassion for people are like this - including Henry.

He may be wondering why he can't find the love of his life and it's because of his fear of abandoment. My guess would be he just goes around and around in circles and doesn't know what the real issue is, unless he seeks therapy to identify this (and perhaps other) issues in order to move forward. He really needs a mate who truly wants to understand who he is and what he is all about. Not the good looking man or the celebrity. He needs that one person who provides him with the love and security that he not only desires, but really needs. That will be the person who he will love forever. 

Abandonment by a Mother is the worst kind of abandoment for a child. It is a hurt that you can't recover from unless help is sought. But even if you seek therapy, you will always feel that hurt. Therapy is just a way for him to get tools he can use in order to deal with it. As a Doctor, as a mental health professional and as person, I implore you and all of your readers to try and understand that these celebrities are human beings too. They have the same issues that all of us have and if it's not treated properly, it will result in different types of behaviour and HC is no different. Treat people with kindness because the fact is...we can guess, we can speculate, we can look at them and their actions from afar, but the truth is...we don't know these people, we don't know what makes them who they are today - just like all of us. Compassion is needed more and more in the world and I can only hope that more people use their compassion more often.

Thank you for letting me have your space to discuss my professional opinion.

[queens-hoes]

Ikevamp Suitors as University Professors (Part 3!)

Shakespeare

Obviously a literature prof is that even a question with a focus on the really old stuff

Like Beowulf, medieval literature, Shakespeare (if it exists in this uni-verse haha get it)

Basically if it came out before the 18th century, he's your guy or if it's Edgar Allan Poe

I feel like our boy Willy Shakes would be a big fan of the Big Bad Gothic Hoe

Reads texts out loud very dramatically

Focuses on the way something is written instead of the meaning behind it

Symbolism? Nah mate

This is coming from the guy whose plays are filled with adult jokes that just fly over your head the first time around

(Shakespeare literally made a "your mom" joke, he isn't overanalyzing shit)

His class is really insightful but....

.....can anyone understand a word this man is saying

God help his poor students

They always need to have an extra tab open to a dictionary site

Y'know how teachers have apples on their desks? He'd probably have a skull instead for the aesthetic

It's an ongoing debate among students whether he's amazing or terrible at his job

You better hope he doesn’t hear you talking shit....or else....

(Exit, pursued by a bear)

Comte

The President of the entire school, can’t convince me otherwise

If not that, then he’s at least a dean or head chairman of a certain faculty

Despite having such a high-standing position, his true passion really is teaching

And he sure can teach a lot

He can speak literally Every Language, so he’s pretty much a fixture in the International/Foreign Language department

Probably spends most of the time teaching French or English

But based on the game we can safely assume he can also speak Italian, Dutch, German and Japanese 

And probably Latin, Greek and/or Hebrew since he’s old af

He’s also 100% picked up at least a little of Spanish, Portuguese, Mandarin, Thai, Russian, Hindi, literally every other language in existence

Has really good relationships with the international students bc of this

Hand-picks every prof at the school

Though sometimes regrets his life choices when he hears about Dazai breaking another window or Leo being found in the fountain for the third straight day

Professor Saint-Germain needs a holiday

You will never hear someone say something bad about this man, he is amazing

Any woman that interacts with him, whether it be a faculty member or a student, has fallen at least a little in love with him and a few men too wink wonk

But don't be fooled, he will suspend/expel/fire anyone that crosses any lines

Everyone secretly suspects that he’s actually either a nobleman of some sort or a supernatural creature

No human is just born like that

Sebastian

Is Napoleon’s favourite TA that follows him around like a puppy

Practically has the same level of history knowledge as Napoleon, just without the PhD (for now)

Bc of this, he helps out a lot of the students that may feel intimidated to go to the prof

Has a group chat with his tutorial group where he sends historical memes

His groups are always full bc of how popular he is with students

Would totally use stan Twitter language to discuss historical events

"AIGHT so lemme spill the tea on the French Revolution and why you should stan my S-tier level man, Napoleon--"

100% the type to tell his students where to find free textbooks in illegal ways

Exams coming up? You bet he's making Kahoot/Jeopardy games to help everyone review

Need an extension? No biggie

But if he notices you actually slacking off, Scary Sebastian appears

They say his glare is enough to scare anyone into submission Comte is so proud