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schrijverr · 1 year ago

Text

I Dig You 8

Chapter 8 out of 8

Robin is tentatively excited for her first internship: an archaeological dig in the Netherlands, where she has been studying. However, when she gets there, Steve is there too. The dick of their uni that she now has to work with. Great. But being stuck digging for six weeks makes people bond and maybe he isn’t too bad. Maybe he can be her friend.

AKA an archaeology interns, modern, enemies-to-friends stobin au

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

Chapter 8: Plans

The two have made their way back to the vacation home, deciding that while it gets dark late, they shouldn’t risk getting lost. They are trying to maintain a semblance of a normal sleeping schedule to survive the last week that’s coming.

However, once there, they decide that it’s not yet time for sleeping, so they’re sitting on the table – on not at, because sitting on tables is superior – and are chatting about everything and nothing, content with each other’s presence.

After a lull in the conversation, Steve breaks the silence by asking: “What about you, by the way? What do you want to do with your future?”

“I mean, I wanna finish my Bachelor’s with high enough grades to get into the Research Master, then specialize in materials, bones specifically, before doing my PhD, preferably with a minimal student loan debt. Then do research for the rest of my life, probably work at a uni and teach,” Robin says. She has had this dream for forever, so it’s an easy answer.

“You’re going to stay at the faculty here?” Steve asks.

“That’s the plan for now. I like the uni and I know the professors. So, I’m not planning on leaving just yet,” Robin says.

“So, you’re not missing your parents? People back home?” Steve asks. “You said you’re working, you don’t wanna go visit after this?”

“Can’t really afford the plane ticket,” Robin shrugs ruefully, for once not embarrassed to admit that out loud. “Besides, my parents are the only cool people there, I don’t really have a connection with most of my extended family, except my conservative grandma, so don’t really miss her. I do miss my parents of course, but there isn’t a uni with a good archaeology program nearby, so it wouldn’t really matter, because I couldn’t go see them regularly anyway, so why go there, you know?”

“That fucking sucks, dude,” Steve says. “When does it become socially acceptable for me to offer to buy you a plane ticket? I mean, you have cool parents, you should be able to go see them. This is so unfair.”

“Welcome to the world, buddy,” Robin rolls her eyes, though also touched by his reply. “And I already used up most of my vacation days, so I have to go back to work when I’m done here. If we’re still friends by christmas you can come over to mine to celebrate and I will turn a blind eye if you pay for the plane tickets and forget to send me a Tikkie.”

“Didn’t we just decide to be friends forever? I’m holding you to that,” Steve grins. “I wanna meet these mystical parents of yours.”

“Daisy and Thomas Buckley are the most boring people alive, but whatever floats you boat,” Robin informs him, though she’s fond. She loves her parents and she can’t help but get happy whenever their friendship is confirmed. It might sound a little sad, but she needs that validation or her brain convinces her it’s all a trick.

“I like boring,” Steve replies.

“Yeah, that tracks,” Robin ribs him, quite literally.

“Ouch!” Steve pouts, clutching his side. “You’re mean.”

“And you like me anyway,” Robin grins brightly, because it’s true. Steve knows what a judgmental bitch she is and he still wants to be best friends.

“Sadly,” Steve jokes.

“Who’s being mean now?” Robin says, putting on a huge pout.

“Oh no, it is me. However, shall I repay you for this horrendous slight against you?” Steve asks dramatically, draping himself over her, which almost makes her topple.

Robin shoves him off, while being carefully so he doesn’t actually fall off the table as she huff: “You’re such a dork, I don’t know why people think you’re cool.”

“It’s called being confused 90% of the time so people think you’re aloof,” Steve says as he sits back up again.

“That’s stupid,” Robin says.

“I know,” Steve shrugs.

They’re quiet again. Between the trees the sun is setting and Robin knows they should be going to bed if they don’t want to fuck up their schedules, but that would mean ending this moment and she is too attached, so she stays quiet.

Steve is the one that breaks the quiet again. His voice is more serious again as he asks: “Do you want to stay here or move back to the States when you’re done?”

“Haven’t really thought about it,” Robin says honestly. “I mean, I’ll be twenty-two when I’m done with my Bachelors, twenty-five with my Master and then a PhD is between four to ten years. I’ll be twenty-nine at the youngest. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Why?”

“I mean, I’d be sad if you moved away,” Steve admits softly.

Robin tends to forget she is a person in other people’s lives, so she’s taken aback for a second, before a happy feeling floods through her. She says: “I’d miss you too.”

“That’s- that’s good. Is that weird to say?”

“Probably, but I don’t think so,” Robin replies. “I’m bad at being friends with people, but it’s easy with you. This is nice.”

“Can you believe you hated me five weeks ago?” Steve randomly comments.

“I didn’t hate you,” Robin lies.

“You totally did,” Steve laughs, poking her.

“I thought you were annoying and a stupid frat bro, I didn’t hate you, because that would mean I was more invested in you than I was,” Robin retorts to save face.

“You were bitter about Tammy,” Steve singsongs.

“Ugh, are you ever letting that go?” Robin groans.

“Never,” Steve tells her smugly.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“… Fuck. No, I don’t,” Robin sighs, though she’s unable to help the smile. She can’t believe how fast her opinion of Steve changed, but she’s glad for it. Idly she says: “It’s going to be weird to not be in your space 24/7 after this.”

“Yeah, it is. You can always come over to mine, you know? Hell, you could move in and that would be cool,” Steve agrees.

“What?” Robin chokes, surprised by the offer, but not for the reason you’d think. “You haven’t offered anyone that. Carol and Tommy both complained – loudly, I might add – how much of a dick move that was of you.”

“Tsk, of course they did. I don’t want them to live with me because they throw parties every weekend in their own house and I actually like my personal space, and not living with people, who don’t clean and make fun of the way I eat,” Steve scoffs.

“Wow, yeah, okay, they sound horrible,” Robin says, unable to fathom living like that. She likes her own space too.

“Tell me about it, I don’t know why it took me this long to drop them. They can be the worst,” Steve says. “I guess it was just what I thought friendships were supposed to be like. Befriending people at the archaeology faculty, like Argyle – he’s super cool, by the way – made me realize that was actually not normal, lol.”

Robin fights the urge to make fun of Steve for saying lol out loud, since she can recognize when someone is trying to make something sound less serious. Instead she nods: “Yeah, I can get that,” before smirking: “Sooo, I am worthy of living in the Harrington residence?”

“Yeah, you’re cool,” Steve responds more easily than Robin would have thought. “And we’ve kind of proven we can live together just fine. I’d help you move and everything.”

“Wait, you’re for real?” she asks, looking at Steve with wide eyes. She kind of thought he was joking, but he sounds pretty serious.

Steve looks back like she is weird for not getting that yet. “Of course, why would I joke about that?”

“I don’t know, that sounds like something you should think about before offering, right?” Robin shoots back.

“Why? We’re students, people move in impulsively all the time,” Steve answers. “It would actually be a pretty normal thing to do.”

“Except that your parents would be my landlords,” Robin points out, not even daring to ask what the rent situation would be like.

“No, the house is in my name, remember? I’d be your landlord,” Steve says.

“That doesn’t really make it better,” Robin informs him.

Steve shakes his head, suddenly looking excited as he says: “No, it does make it better. Think about it. I can charge you nothing and if my parents ask, I can just say you’re my girlfriend and they’d understandably let you stay for free, because they are terrified of me being anything but straight and then I can get as much money out of them as I can, before they cut me off. I’d be perfect.”

“You- you want to beard in the year 2023 to scam your homophobic parents out of money?” Robin asks incredulously, unsure if she understood correctly.

Steve nods.

“Well, that does sound pretty punk to do,” Robin admits, because when she thinks about it, that is hilarious and she’d get a house with no rent out of it in the actual city the uni is in, so she won’t have to take the train every day.

“Is this you agreeing?” Steve asks her, excitement not having left.

“Yeah, sure, let’s become roomies,” Robin laughs, a little disbelieving at how she ended up here, but delighted nonetheless.

“Yay,” Steve cheers, doing a dorky little dance that Robin joins in with, because why the hell not?

With that decided, they lay down on the table side by side, looking up at the slowly appearing stars as they continue to plan how to move in together, arguing if they can move furniture by public transport or if they need to find a person with a car they can borrow, since neither of them are qualified to lease one.

“We can’t carry my bed frame with just the two of us!” Robin exclaims. “How are we even fitting it in the tram or train for that matter.”

“You see people with crazy shit in the train all the time,” Steve argues back. “I’ve seen people with a fridge, like a hundred suitcases, people with a floor length mirror and people with a big ass chair. We can totally take your bed with us on the tram.”

“Okay, fine, even if it’s allowed, have you seen my noodle arms? I can’t carry it and even if I could, I am not coordinated enough to pull that off,” Robin says.

“I can do it by myself.”

“You cannot carry a bed frame by yourself. We need a car.”

“Who do you know with a car?” Steve shoot back.

“No one, you’re the one with friends.”

Steve is quiet for a second, then says: “… Argyle has this beat up van. He’ll probably help us move if we buy him pizza at the end of the day.”

“See, problem solved,” Robin says self-satisfied.

“I still think I can do it,” Steve pouts.

“Well, you’ll just have to find that out in your own time,” Robin informs him. “So, what about chores? Are we making a schedule or like splitting it on preferred tasks?”

And on they go, deciding how to organize chores and cooking, what to tell people that ask and what they prefer when it comes to studying and noises, making a list of rules. By the time they’re done, it’s already late and Robin knows they fucked up their sleeping schedule just a little bit, but neither of them care.

The next day, they both sleep in for a change, doing a familiar dance through their small kitchen as they make their breakfast and get ready for the day of lounging around, before they have to start up again for their last week on the dig.

If Robin had expected Steve to change his mind overnight, she doesn’t get a chance to ask if he had, because Steve excitedly tells her they can have Dutch Days where they try to only speak Dutch, because he looked it up and if she wants to teach here at the uni she needs a minimum level of Dutch, so they both have to practice.

After that time seems to fly by with the last week of the excavation seeming to not last longer than a blink. Before they know it, they’re standing around on their last day, waiting for Jeroen to fill in their evaluation, so they can add it to their final report, before leaving to spend the last day in the vacation home that has been their shared home for weeks now.

They’re both a little melancholic as they write their final daily report together and make dinner (pasta for the dozenth time), before going to sleep.

The follow morning, Robin is also awake early and they clean the vacation home together, so they’re not leaving it a complete sandy mess, before Steve goes to give back the key, while Robin watches the bikes.

With their bikes packed, they make their way to the local train station, traveling together until they’re at Utrecht, where they have to split up.

It’s a little weird to say goodbye, so Robin says: “So, uhm, we’ll meet up soon?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll text you,” Steve agrees.

Suddenly Robin is struck with a thought and she says: “Do I even have your number?”

“I don’t know, do I have yours?” Steve replies, pulling out his phone.

“Can you imagine if we don’t?” Robin giggles.

“It would be very on theme,” Steve giggles too, weird tension broken again. He asks: “Are you in that big group chat with everyone from first year?”

“Yeah, I am, you too?” Robin says.

“Yeah,” Steve confirms.

“At least we have each other’s number,” Robin laughs, amused at the situation. “I’m going to save you in my phone as Airhead Himbo.”

“Rude, I’m saving you as Pretentious Dick,” Steve says.

“That’s rude,” Robin protests, though she’s grinning.

“You started it.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll change it to Schmuck,” Robin concedes.

“Is Bone Lady better?” Steve asks with an equally amused look on his face.

“Totally, that is epic. I will wear it with pride.”

“I somehow feel I got the short end of this,” Steve says, though it’s clear he thinks the whole thing to be hilarious.

“Live with it,” Robin winks (naturally failing at the action, but Steve is a good friend, who doesn’t mention that). Then she sees the time and curses: “Fuck, I have to run if I wanna catch my train. Don’t forget to text me,” she calls out already running.

“I won’t! Bye!” Steve yells at her as she sprints to the right platform, barely catching her train with the struggle it is to get her bike in with her.

Once she is finally seated she checks her phone, seeing a few texts from Steve that read:

You run funny

Oh my god that’s rude

Sorry

I love you

Pls, still move in with me

Robin snorts out loud and texts back: omg ur a fucking loser lmao, oc ill move in with u, dingus

Then she takes a second, before she adds: love u too, have a safe trip <3

Steve sends back a string of emojis that is more suited for a granddad, who should not be allowed near technology. Most of them are heart-shaped or heart-adjacent, so Robin decides it must be a positive thing as she smiles and shakes her head.

They continue texting for the entire time and Steve comes to visit the next day, pointing at all her furniture as he continues the argument of whether or not he could lift it by himself and if it would fit into the tram and train, while Robin is packing all her little trinkets.

Argyle is luckily down to help them out, so Robin never has to actually stop Steve from attempting to lift her desk and it turns out the dude is very cool. Robin hasn’t worked with him, but she has seen him around, but never talked to him.

As the new year starts, the two of them learn that Argyle is the only person at the faculty, who is seemingly not weirded out by their sudden attachment, because they get a lot of weird looks and curious questions when they show up together for the one little thesis talk at the starts, Steve giving Robin a piggyback ride.

However, the two of them shake it off easily. By then they’ve been living together for three months already and are very comfortable together. They just click, it just works for them.

Robin sometimes can’t believe how lucky she is with Steve (and she is thrilled that Steve thinks the same, a fact he informs her off multiple times a day, especially at the end when they’re chilling on the couch and she is running her hands through his hair, because it’s so so so soft).

When she got to that excavation and seethed that she could never be rid of ‘that fucking guy’ she couldn’t have imagined how true that statement was and how happy she’d be with that outcome, but here she is and the future has never looked brighter.

A/N:

I feel like maybe they’re speed running the whole best friends thing, but they’re also stobin, so you know xp

(Also they totally still live together rn with ten cats and shit)

#rr writing #stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #platonic stobin #stobin #stobin au #archaeologists stobin au #argyle stranger things

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footprintsinthesxnd · 11 months ago

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helloooo!! it's me!!

here to ask you all the questions about ALL of your ocs :D

so please can i have:

💭📚🎻💯💤🔺🚫🌈🐈🍃❤️🤍💔😊 for ALL of your ocs (yes i wanna know about every single one of them please!!)

and if you want more questions then ☕️🤔😥 too!!

sorry i know i asked a ton of questions but i love all your ocs so i'm always down to hear about them!!

JULIAN! Thank you for your ask. Wow that’s a lot of questions. It literally took me two days to answer all these. So some of these ocs I haven’t introduced yet so I’ll list them with a mini introduction and then I’ll make a whole oc masterlist to have them all together in one place.

So I’m sure everyone knows Josie Wills, Julian Owens’ (also from )and William Beaumont from ‘Young Love and Old Money’

Lois Drake an SOE agent from ‘Loving Her Was Red’

Florence Lark an ENSA singer from ‘A Larks Song’

Gwen Fletcher an EMT from an Easy Company zombie apocalypse au I’m collating on with @georgieluz and @malarkgirlypop

Julia a Weapons Systems Officer from a Top Gun au I’m collabing on with @georgieluz and his oc Joey

Hugh is my new Masters of the Air oc who will have a proper introduction along with his sister very soon

OC question answers below

————————————————————————

💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — what is your oc's MBTI, enneagram, and/or other personality aspects (if known/ interested in)?

Josie - ISTP, enneagram type 3 (competitive achiever) Josie is definitely a ‘doer’. She’s task driven and competitive and once she sets her mind to something then she intend to do it.

Julian - INTP, enneagram type 2 (the considerate helper) Julian is very warm and giving and people oriented. But also type 5 (quiet specialists) because he is always observing and exploring how the world works. But he can struggle to share thoughts and feelings and may seem socially awkward so he’s a mixture of both but doesn’t fit all the traits for either.

Lois - ENTP, enneagram type 8 (active controller) Lois is a force of nature and has strong values of right are wrong. She can be guarded but caring and protective of those around them.

Florence - ISFP, enneagram type 9 (adaptive peacemaker) she is diplomatic and attuned to the ideas of others. I fell like she would absolutely be a peacemaker within a group. Within her family she forms the glue between them all.

William - ESTJ, enneagram type 3 (competitive achiever) Will is similar to Josie in this respect. He is goal driven and he intends to achieve all he can. He will risk overstretching and pushing himself too far to achieve what he wants.

Gwen- INFP, enneagram type 4 (intense creativity) she can be emotionally sensitive and is attuned to her environment. She is creative and expressive as individuals.

Julia- ENTJ, enneagram type 7 (enthusiastic visionary) Julia is fun loving and enthusiastic about life. She brings creativity, energy and optimism to any group and easily makes friends.

Hugh - ESFP, enneagram type 6 (loyal sceptic) he easily tunes in to potential danger and can become anxious but doesn’t let his friends know. He can be insecure and often relies on his sister to know he is good enough.

📚 BOOKS — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

Josie - she was studying English Literature and classics at Oxford University when the war broke out. Her family had sent her to a Private School in London but never expected her to want to go to university.

Julian - he was studying acting and script writing at university before the war broke out. However he dropped out to join the paratroopers but intends to go back and finish his studies after the war. He also plays music on the side and sometimes plays piano during musical theatre productions.

Lois - I feel like Lois had quite a high class eduction which allowed her to study languages. She never really flaunted her education or her family but it has given her certain privileges in life.

Florence - she comes from quite a poor background and was raised by her father and brother. She went to the normal local school until she was 15. Her father couldn’t afford to further her or her brother’s education and so they both found jobs locally where they worked until the war broke out.

William - he studied law at Cambridge university and graduated six months before the war broke out in 1939. He joined his father’s law firm and was working alongside his father, who also worked with the government and so he planned to further his career in politics until he went for his pilot training.

Gwen - she wanted to train to become a doctor but her parents couldn’t afford her university tuition so instead she trained to become an EMT through an apprenticeship. Gwen is very clever although she never flaunts it.

Julia - after college Julia went straight into the Navy, completing basic training before moving onto her Weapons System training to become a naval aviator. She is very good at her job and graduated first of her class from Top Gun along with her pilot Joey.

Hugh - he was at university doing an engineering course when the war broke out. He wanted to get a good career so he didn’t end up like his parents in dead end jobs they hated

🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)?

Josie - she plays a lot of musical instruments during to her family and would often have to play at dinner parties and for her family’s friends. She began to resent having to play for other people and avoids playing where she can although she sometimes plays for Lewis if he asks.

Julian - he plays piano and as a child had joint lessons with his friend Jess. When he moved away he continued to play and he often played while studying acting at university and sometimes played in their amateur theatre productions.

Lois - she was always spending her time reading history books, literature and learning languages, although she can appreciate all genres of music from jazz to the opera.

Florence - she can play the piano as well as having an excellent singing voice and will often play while she sings.

William - he can play the piano, violin and the clarinet. His father expected him to play for dinner guests ever since he was a boy.

Gwen - she learned how to play the recorder at first school but she never kept it up and never had time to learn any new instruments between her studies.

Julia - like Gwen she’s never really had a knack for musical instruments and always found herself too busy traveling or keeping Joey out of trouble.

Hugh - he appreciates good music but he cannot play an instrument to save his life.

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Josie -

1) she’s actually very good at drawing and has lots of random little drawings of her friends but she would never let them see them. 2) Josie had never actually been abroad until she travelled to the French battlefields as a VAD. Despite her families money and connections she was never invited on any of their abroad trips. 3) Josie has an exceptional singing voice and no one ever expects her to sound as good as she does. Lewis tells her she is wanted as an VAD and should join the USO.

Julian -

1) Julian makes the best hot beverages. You feel sad and need a cup of tea he’s on it. You’re feeling sleepy and need a coffee, he’s got you. Regardless of the drink hot beverages are Julian’s specialty. 2) Julian used to write little scripts for Jess and Josie to read from their favourite childhood books. He’d often make up stories for them too. 3) Julian nearly got kicked out of the paratroopers for helping Bill and George prank Sobel by filling his room with confetti, he never got caught but he nearly died from the stress of it and vowed to never let George talk him into anything like that again.

Lois -

1) she was burned in love once before and swore that she would never let her heart get broken again. When she started out with Winters it was just some fun, but he very quickly stole her heart and she began to believe that maybe you only get hurt when you love the wrong people. 2) Lois lived in Germany for several years when she was a young teenager. 3) Lois is fluent in German, French and Latin and has a flare for learning languages.

Florence -

1) she actually fell for Webster before he fell for her. She’d never admit it but she fell first. 2) Florence nearly became a ops room girl but decided against it when she saw an advertisement for ENSA auditions which changed her life for the better. 3) Florence is named after the city in Italy where her mother spent time when she was younger. One day when the war is over she’d like to visit and take a certain paratrooper with her.

William -

1) he’s actually really insecure but he puts on this big front, an act to cope with this. 2) Will had the opportunity to travel to America with the RAF to help train American pilots for combat but his father has a strong dislike towards the Americans and so he never went but always wished he had. 3) During his childhood Will spent more time with Josie and her family than his own because despite their flaws they still gave him a family he so desperately craved.

Gwen -

1) she wanted to become a medic in the army after she finished her EMT training. 2) she secretly sees Caleb as the brother she never had. She looks up to him and the way he carries and handles himself. She’d like to be more like him. To be stronger. 3) Gwen was actually born in New York but her family moved to the outskirts of Boston when she was just a baby. Her family often visit New York at Christmas and she loves the Rockafella tree.

Julia -

1) she’s always worried about failing Joey on a mission. It keeps her up at night that she’s going to make the wrong call and get them both killed. Joey is the only family she really has and if anything ever happened to him she’d never forgive herself. 2) Julia almost joined the airforce to become a pilot but changed her mind and joined the navy instead. 3) she has always wanted to own a dog but with her job and so much travelling it would be impossible.

Hugh -

1) he used to have a spaniel called Charlie as a boy and still carries a photograph of him in his pocket. 2) he’s secretly very proud of his sister and her achievements as a flight nurse but he doesn’t always tell her 3) he’s a hopeless romantic and would absolutely write the best love letters

💤 SLEEPING SIGN — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits?

Josie - she’s a deep sleeper. She can sleep through Lewis snoring but she becomes a light sleeper after the war, always listening out for Lewis having a nightmare.

Julian - he’s a light sleeper. He can run on about 3-4 hours sleep and then he has to get up and start being productive.

Lois - she’s a bit like Julian. Due to her SOE training she has learned to function on vet little sleep but she can also sleep in the most random places in the field where she can catch a few hours sleep before moving on.

Florence - she generally has a good sleep pattern. Bed by 11pm and then early to rise in the morning. She’s normally up by 6am. When she has shows she generally stays up past midnight but she still gets up early to make the most of the day.

William - he enjoys a lay in. He would quite happily lay around in bed all day if he had the chance but his job pre and during the war very rarely allow for that.

Gwen - she worked shifts before the apocalypse began so had very varied sleep patterns. Which put her in good stead for the sleep deprivation she would suffer from during the apocalypse.

Julia - in the navy on active duty you sleep where you can so she doesn’t really sleep very well then but when she’s on leave she is sleeping in and relaxing as much as possible.

Hugh - he does like to catch up on his sleep when he can but is quite a light sleeper. He often lays in bed looking a ceiling and listening to his comrades snoring.

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

Josie - she can handle herself and throw a punch buts she’s not a fighter.

Julian - yes he’s a paratrooper

Lois - she can definitely handle herself and received perfect scores on her weapons training.

Florence - she wouldn’t even hurt a fly.

William - he��s a Lancaster bomber pilot but in hand to hand combat he’s all mouth and will most likely get smacked in the mouth.

Gwen - she’s a good shot because she used to go hunting with her father but close combat is not her forte. It’s going to take lots of training from Caleb and Sam to improve her skills.

Julia - well she is a weapons systems officer and she’s in the navy so don’t go messing with her. And if you mess with Joey then you better watch your back.

Hugh- he has been known to throw a few punches to defend his sisters honour (although she can definitely handle herself)

🚫 PROHIBITED - does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

Josie - she will have a glass of wine or beer with her friends at the local pub and she used to drink at her families dinner parties but she isn’t a big drinker.

Julian - like Josie he’s a social drinker and will have a few but he’s not necessarily a big drinker. He’s sat with Eugene watching the other paratroopers get hammered and laughing at them.

Lois - she rarely drinks, always wanting to keep her wits about her. But with Dick she can let her hair down a little and trusts him enough to relax.

Florence - she’ll have a glass of gin to steady her nerves before some of her shows but she isn’t a big drinker. She saw what drink did to her father after her mother died and so would never want to feel that way herself.

William - he’s a big drinker. Dinner parties, nights out with his fellow pilots, social events etc. He likes to have a good time.

Gwen - she rarely drinks as she works so many varied shifts but when she is off or at weekends she’ll happily have a glass of wine and relax.

Julia - she’s a social drinker. She’ll happily have a few beers at the Hard Deck and she had definitely gotten drunk with Joey more times than she cares to admit.

Hugh- he can hold his liquor and has often drank his fellow pilots under the table, especially if a bet is involved.

🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use?

Josie - she/her and she’s straight

Julian - he/him and Julian isn’t openly gay due to the time period but his friends and of course his boyfriend George know and fully support and protect him.

Lois - she/her and she is straight

Florence - she/her and she is straight

William - he/him and I feel like he’s bisexual. Although he’s mainly a womaniser he’s definitely had a fling or two with his fellow pilots and with a few boys from boarding school. Although he’ll never admit it as his family would disown him.

Gwen - she/her and she is straight

Julia -she/her and she is straight

Hugh - he/him

🐈 CAT - does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?

Josie - she has a lot of acquaintances but only a small group of true friends.

Julian - although he has social anxiety he is quite the social butterfly amongst the men of Easy Company. Everyone knows Julian and he’ll quite happily have a laugh and a chat with all of them.

Lois - she keeps to herself. Only having a small group of friends made up form a few men from Easy Company and her fellow SOE agents.

Florence - a few close friends. She gets on well with a lot of the men from Easy Company but only really had a few true friends.

William - he has so many friends. He has university friends, lawyer friends, pilot friends, family friends. This man’s guest list is a mile long.

Gwen - a few close friends. Gwen is very reserved and it took her a long time to even open up to her partner Tom. She only had a few friends from work and college and lost them during the outbreak but she soon forms a strong bond with Caleb and Sam.

Julia -she has lots of friends all the way from basic training to Top Gun. She’s a social butterfly and loves chatting to everyone and is very easy to get along with.

Hugh - he’s a social guy and gets on with a lot of the men he’s known since basic training. He’s very easy to talk to but he only really has a small group of close friends.

🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND - what is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?

Josie- she always loved Literature which is why she went to study it at Oxford University until the war broke out. Books are a big passion of hers.

Julian - he always loved History and Classic Literature but nis favourite class was drama which definitely put him in good stead for perusing a career in acting and script writing. She excelled in his drama classes.

Lois - so Lois is fluent in both French and German which puts her in good stead for her SOE training. She also is fluent in Latin and she has a thirst for knowledge and languages which is why that would be her favourite subject at school.

Florence -I feel like Florence has been singing her whole life. She always lived music and that’s why it was her favourite subject at school. She would often go to concerts or music and dance nights because of her love of live music. Which intern lead her to join the ENSA when the war broke out.

William - he always loved sports and would have been captain of the cricket and football team and his private school. He would often play sports of his family estate in the summer and played for the local county team.

Gwen - she loved biology. Anything to do with the natural world but also learning anatomy and physiology. The human body always fascinated her and how much a person could withstand.

Julia - she loved Physical Eduction. She’s super sporty being Captain of the Handball Team, the netball team, and baseball team. She’s also an exceptional swimmer and a pretty fast runner.

Hugh- he loved art at school. He’s quite the artist actually and will often draw his fellow pilots or the planes. He was left in charge of the planes nose art.

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

Josie -

1) she has a big heart and is a very loving and loyal friend. She is the kind of friend that will stand by you regardless of the situation and will fight fiercely for them. 2) she is very intelligent and intellectual. Like Lois she has a thirst for knowledge and was determined to study Literature at Oxford university. 3) she can adapt well to varying situations. She went from her privileged life to living in a cabin with Lewis. She went from her university studies to training as a VAD to help the battlefield nurses and medics. She is versatile.

Julian -

1) he has the kindest heart and would do anything for anyone. His soul is pure and he truly is the greatest, most reliable friend anyone could ever want. 2) he is very good at calming people down and being reasonable and sensible. He would make a good leader and has some excellent ideas. 3) he has excellent taste in music and is always recommending new songs to Josie and Jess to listen to. The radio intrigues him and he’s often fiddling around with radios and record players because it amazes him how they work.

Lois -

1) she has a keen eye and is very perceptive, which again is excellent for her wartime career. 2) she has good intuition and can read situations and work out the best possible outcomes for her and her team before making any kind of move. 3) she has a lot of empathy but also has a tough outside that once you get passed she will love you unconditionally.

Florence -

1) she is very sweet and caring. Having looked after her brother and father as she grew up she is used to caring for people. 2) her voice sounds like an angels, many of the men have told her this before and her father always said she sounded like her mother when she sings. 3) she writes little song lyrics to her brother and to Webster is letters she sends them to keep their moral up.

William -

1) he’s a decent man really and he is very loving. Despite his boyish charm and womanising tendencies when Will truly cares about someone he would do anything for them. 2) he’s an excellent party planner and social butterfly. You absolutely want him as your host or partner at social events because he knows everyone and is very good at making you feel supported if you’re worried. 3) he’s a very loyal friend. He stood by Josie when her parents disowned her and despite her marrying another man he still allowed them to stay at his families cabin so he was always looking out for her.

Gwen -

1) she a good egg. You want someone like her on your apocalypse survival team. She is always looking out for everyone and thinking what is best for the group. 2) she so kind. She would do anything for anyone, even if they didn’t really deserve her help or kindness. 3) Gwen is a very good listener and shoulder to cry on. She always has the best advice but is also ready to just sit and listen if that’s what you want too.

Julia -

1) she would do anything for her friends and is loyal to a fault. She is the kind of woman you want fighting your corner. 2) she makes the best pancakes and she always makes them for Joey when he’s sad or he’s had a bad day. 3) Julia is a badass. She is very good at her job and hardly ever misses her target. She can give Bob a run for his money.

Hugh-

1) he’s such a sweetheart. He’s so caring and is very protective towards his sister. Any man looking to step out with her better be good enough 2) he’s very good at raising moral with his friends, cracking jokes when they need a laugh 3) he’s a very good cook and although the have cooks on the base he will sometimes sneak in a whip up a meal

🤍WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/ questionable traits?

Josie -

1) she needs to read other people’s emotions better and understand how other people are feeling. 2) she often forgets how privileged she is and can be arrogant sometimes. 3) she doesn’t always realise how besotted Lew is with her but she loves him very much.

Julian -

1) believing that he doesn’t deserve to be loved and happy because society has drummed into him that being gay is wrong (but he absolutely deserves to be happy because he such a sweetheart) 2) not believing in himself sometimes. He needs to realise how talented he is. 3) Laughing at inappropriate times. This man will absolutely laugh if you tell him something traumatic if he feels awkward and doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t mean too but it just happens.

Lois -

1) she needs to learn to except that Dick is a good guy and he truly does love her and isn’t just in it for fun and games. 2) she needs to learn to put herself first sometimes 3) she needs to learn to lean on other people sometimes and she doesn’t always need to be strong.

Florence -

1) thinking that Webster is too good for her and will realise she isn’t good enough for him because he is from a richer background. 2) she’s too hard on herself sometimes and she needs to except that she can’t always do everything for everyone 3) she needs to believe in herself more

William -

1) he needs to realise that he doesn’t always have to follow in his fathers footsteps 2) Will needs to learn that he’s not always right and that other peoples opinions are valid. He gets a bit full of himself sometimes 3) he needs to know that there is another person out there for him and if he loves Josie he needs to let her go so they can both move on.

Gwen -

1) not thinking she is good enough for her friends and the man she loves. 2) thinking she has to try and be strong all the time because Caleb and Sam close off their emotions but really Gwen just needs a good cry. 3) she will absolutely get distracted by the shape of clouds and Caleb had to recuse her from a zombie once because she was looking at the clouds. She likes to pretend that just for that moment she isn’t in an apocalypse.

Julia -

1) she cannot hold her liquor and has vomited in Joey’s car more times than she cares to admit. 2) she daydreams a lot, sometimes when they are flying which is always helpful but most of the time she’s on her A game. 3) she has questionable taste in men, until she meets Bob, and has often ignored Joeys advice because she liked to believe that this time it will be different but hopefully with Bob it will be.

Hugh-

1) he talks to himself a lot and it annoys his friends 2) he needs to remember to write home because his mum worries about him but he’s always thinking of a million other things 3) he likes to quote books and movies he’s seen which other people find annoying

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Josie -

1) she is very headstrong and doesn’t always think before she speaks or acts which does land her in trouble some times. 2) She can be self centred and doesn’t always realise what is going on in her friend’s lives because she is so focused on her own. 3)She can be a liability at times, being rash to make decisions and says what she thinks without considering whose secrets she is telling.

Julian -

1)sometimes he can be a little sensitive and will take things to heart even if it’s not meant that way. He’s a sensitive souls but he can also be hard when he needs to be. 2) he will 100% hold a grudge. When he finds out Josie told Lewis about him and George he is fuming and he lets that get in the way of their friendship, which is only fair because Josie did betray him but he doesn’t forgive easily and downs fully trust her for a while. He needs to learn to let go of things more easily. Maybe not in this situation specifically because this is a big thing but to learn not to get worked up so quickly. 3) he needs to learn how to communicate better and express his feelings more plainly so George doesn’t mixed signals.

Lois -

1) she doesn’t trust people very easily, Dick Winters is an exception. 2) she tends to put other people’s needs before her own and will always put the safety of others above hers, which Dick finds infuriating. 3) Lois winds Lewis up on purpose because she finds it funny when he gets all riled up at her. Which makes life difficult for Dick because he’s then stuck between the woman he loves and his best friend.

Florence -

1) she can easily jump to conclusions before she has the whole picture of what’s actually going on. 2) she can be nice and a little gullible but it’s because she’s a very trusting person and so she always sees the good in people. 3) she not always confident in herself and her abilities which is why Webster is always reassuring there and telling her how much he loves her because he wants her to realise how amazing she is.

William -

1) Will can be very arrogant and thinks he id absolutely the bees knees. He’s a ladies man and he thinks that all ladies will love him, which isn’t necessarily the case. 2) he isn’t very good at sharing. He loved Josie from when they were young and didn’t exactly like sharing her with Lewis but he learns to live with it and excepts that she is with Lew and is happy to still have their friendship. 3) he definitely has rich privilege and I feel is arrogant to what the less fortunate people are going through during the war, whereas I feel that Josie although from a rich background does have more awareness of this and empathy.

Gwen -

1) she can be very naive and easily trusts the wrong people because she believes that everyone has a good heart and deserves a second chance. 2) she needs to learn to express her feelings better and not hide her emotions. She closes herself off to protect herself but ends up hurting people she cares about. 3) she sometimes can’t see passed the logical steps and improvise so if something goes wrong she can panic a little bit. She had improved on this with her job and was able to adapt quickly but the outbreak is very different.

Julia -

1) she’s a hot head and needs to learn to pick her battles and not just rush in. Her opinion is valid and often she is right but she needs to accept others opinions too. 2) she gets wound up so easily. Hangman is always pissing her off by making little gestures or jokes towards her. She needs to learn to calm down and ignore him when he’s messing around. 3) she needs to learn to remember dates for meetings etc and to write them down because otherwise she is hopeless.

Hugh -

1) he can be absolutely oblivious sometimes and is the last to notice things (especially his sisters feelings towards his fellow pilot) 2) he can be too caring and sometimes the others see that as him being weak 3) he needs to learn to let go a little sometimes and learn to be not so uptight.

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES - what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

Josie - after the war Josie would like to move back to America with Lew. She wants a simple life really where they can spend lots of time together. She will most likely get a job at Nixon Nitration Works in the office. Her and Lew will travel but will settle down and get a dog and children soon follow.

Julian - he wants to be able to walk down the street hand in hand with George but as he is unable to due to the time period he settled for small holidays away somewhere secluded where they can be together. After the war he heads back to America to continue his studies and becomes a script writer and director.

Lois - she’s an adrenaline junkie and is always looking for an adventure but with Dick she decides she just wants to settle down and spend time with Dick on their farm.

Florence - she loved to continue to sing professionally after the war and for her voice to send her around the world travelling.

William -he wants to finish his degree but branch away from his father’s company and go out on his own to make a name for himself.

Gwen - well Gwen wanted to continue her career as an EMT but also was considering joining the army to become a combat medic. However once the world came to an end her priorities changed and now all she wants is a community that can support each other and make the best of the life they have.

Julia - she wants to continue her career climbing the ranks and become a Top Gun instructor. This may take her away from Joey but she’d like to be stationed in one place more permanently as her career progresses.

Hugh - he wants to be happy in a job that he actually enjoys unlike his parents who work because they need to. His very good with his hands and so wants to continue to peruse his career in engineering but after becoming a pilot he will also consider flying as a career post war but is unlikely to stay in the air force.

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE - does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink

Josie - she likes a nice strong cup of tea with milk and one sugar.

Julian - he is also a big tea drinker. He believes it makes everything better.

Lois - a black coffee with one sugar. She likes her drinks strong

Florence - she likes a milky tea with honey

William - coffee, milk with one sugar. But he will sometimes have a tea at afternoon social events

Gwen - she mainly drinks water but would often start her mornings with a milky coffee

Julia - strong black coffee with two sugars

Hugh - black coffee

�� THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/ mannerisms?

Josie - she talks in her sleep. Her friends and Lew try to tell her but she won’t believe them.

Julian - he gets very anxious if his hair gets wild and out of place. When he gets anxious he keeps smoothing his hair down as a nervous tick.

Lois - she chews her lip when she is anxious or thinking about something

Florence - before each of her performed she will blow a kiss to the picture of her mother that she carries with her for good luck

William - he doesn’t like jam so if he has a scone he put cream and honey on it instead which is very controversial amongst his family

Gwen - she always sits cross legged on the floor. While the others will sit on a table or lean against a wall etc she will always sit cross legged on the floor

Julia - before each flight or mission she had Joey have a little ritual where the do their little handshake and sing their favourite song before hopping into their plane

Hugh - before each mission or flight he’ll try to make sure he visits his sister. She’s like his lucky charm

😢 SAD BUT RELIEVED FACE - is your oc prone to getting stressed out, or is it easy for them to keep their cool?

Josie - she doesn’t necessarily get stressed but she gets uptight and angry very easily but Lewis and her friends know how to handle her and calm her down

Julian - he’s a worried little bean. This poor man gets easily stressed and he over thinks and worries about everything. George is very good at helping him stay calm and to stop stressing and when George isn’t around he likes to have a hug from Jess she will stoke his hair and he instantly feels more relaxed

Lois - she is very good at keeping a calm level head but when she does get angry or stressed heads will roll so you do not want to be in the firing line when that happens

Florence - she is generally quite good at keeping calm and level headed and when she is up on stage she is in her element although she can get nervous sometimes but is good at controlling her emotions

William- he almost never gets stressed. He’s very cool and calm

Gwen - she’s generally very good at keeping her cool and being the levelheaded one of the group. She is normally trying to calm everyone else down.

Julia - as I’ve said before she is a hot head but she is very good at keeping her cool in stressful situations

Hugh - he’s a very levelheaded guy most of the time but he sometimes gets anxious and doubtful of himself which is when he relays on his sisters reassurance

#get to know my OCs #oc ask game

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago

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Hi, do you have any general tips for getting into grad school lol?

I'm trying to get into a clinical psych phD program which I know is very different from what you're doing but hey, I'll take any advice youd like to share ! Also love your art :-)!

I'll just explain how i got to this point and hope theres something worth taking from that.

For me, I did my Masters 1st bc I hadn't done in the lab work until my last year of undergrad and I wasn't sure how I would handle working on a big project and I had a general idea of what I wanted to study but it was still kinda blurry. So, I thought ok 2 years on a project that seems ok, then 4+ on something I really wanna do based on what i learned from my masters. I found my Masters advisor through a string of talking to different people about my interests, reading her papers, and asking if she happened to be looking for students. I sort of stumbled into a good situation on a bit of luck

For my PhD I had a very narrow focus for what I was looking for in terms of research, so there were only like 5 ppl doing exactly what I wanted in english speaking countries. I found them all through reading a bunch of papers, stalking their lab websites and then emailing them like: Hey! I found u through reading X paper, ur research is so cool! Here is how it fits with my interests and here is what I've done that qualifies me to work with you (in as few words as I could manage). Are you accepting students into your lab? And then if they reply that they are: would u be willing to talk with me?

During meetings the questions I always ask (aside from questions abt their research) are: what's your lab space like? How hands on are you as an adviser? What do you like about what you do/what compelled you to take on X research? And then it's also good to ask about their other students (what research they're doing and if you could email them to ask if they like this adviser as a boss/whats it like at the school).

Honestly, I feel like the best advice I could give is treat an interview like it goes both ways. You don't want a boss that sucks so grill them a bit to try to figure out what they're like as a person. And it helps to let a little passion shine thru ✨️

Hope that helps? And good luck!!!

#its a lot easier to get in once you have your masters too bc it demonstrates u can handle grad school #like id get emails back like: oh ur work fits well with my research! and im like: uh yea thats y i emailed u???#but my interests r extremely niche and a bit odd so i guess i kinda come blazing thru like a rogue planet #idk im maybe a bit weird but ive got a lotta passion for what i wanna do when im not drowning #and hopefully that comes thru in interviews even when im rambling around my answers #aha now im procrastinating prepping for those interviews 😅#anyway hope this helps a bit!#mostly for me its finding ppl with the background thst will enable me to do what i want and then trying to fugure out what kind of person #they r and if that fits with how i work #unrelated #lmao literally 2 ppl i got on calls with were like algae??? most ppl try to hide their interest in algae #and im like great its been 2min and uve already called me a freak lmao

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magnetarmadda · 2 years ago

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Hi there! Like probably a lot of people, I'm quite jealous and in awe of the amount of reading you seem to get done. If you don't mind my asking, did you read this many books when you were in grad school? I'm in the last few months of my PhD (in paleontology!) and I've found that working on my thesis has absolutely killed my ability to get through books. Did this happen to you? Did your brain recover afterward? Or did you never deal with the reading slump?

Thanks! (And I hope you're having a good day, because you seem like a cool and nice person!)

Hey, hi! First, best of luck with your final months of grad school!!! Honestly, for me, they were so hard because of the lack of structure. Just, “finish your dissertation” and that was all the instruction really. If you ever wanna chat/vent about that, lemme know!! (Also paleontology!!! That’s so cool!!)

I always like to preface my reading habits with this: I have a very fast reading comprehension speed, and so for me, it averages out to about 100 pages of a novel in an hour and about 75 pages of nonfiction in an hour. In that way, I got lucky with the combination of early reading education, at-home book discussions, and genetics. So I can sit down and read a 300-page book in one evening, which meant that, even though I was only reading only one or two days a week, I was still getting through 50+ a year that way in grad school

I also listen to a lot of audiobooks and love trade paperbacks of graphic novels. The graphic novels can be quite fast reads for me, and this again is partly luck and genetics—my mom’s an artist, so I learned to look at images critically quite young, and can frequently find important info in them quickly. Then, for audiobooks, I do struggle with some chronic illnesses and chronic pain, and I frequently have to check out of life—but I cannot be left alone in my own head, or I rapidly catastrophize lol. I also can’t shut my own brain off when it’s time to sleep, so I listen to audiobooks then as well. I’d say this means I average about 4 audiobooks a month, where they’re usually between 8 and 14 hours (I do listen at 1.25 or 1.5 speed, because otherwise my brain stops paying attention)

I was also lucky with my advisor in grad school. She had a firm self-care policy, in that she cares more about her students’ well-being and health than timely progress. So I never felt like I was stealing moments or neglecting my work—I was trying to cultivate the healthiest version of myself, given all the other factors outside of my control. In the six years I worked with her, we actually spent more than one meeting talking about fantasy novels instead of research, which was lovely

But, yeah, there were a lot of reading struggles in grad school for me. I would go long stretches of time where the idea of opening a book and reading more words was unbearable, because god, didn’t I just spend all day reading and writing?? I also started to not care as much for the types of books I read before grad school, so now I’ve got a few stacks of books on hand I feel guilty that I haven’t read (but I’m trying to recognize that I’ll probably never read them, because tastes can change). So I might've had motivation to read, but nothing I had on hand sounded particularly good

Submitting that dissertation and knowing the hard part was over was actually the biggest relief, I think maybe of my life. I defended in mid-October and then submitted the finished manuscript about two weeks later, and then I spent a solid month just…reading whatever the fuck I wanted to lol. I have a postdoc now (and am applying for faculty jobs 🤞), and the responsibilities are waaaaaay less than as a grad student. In fact, my PI is adamant that I should not do more than 40 hrs a week, and so I’ve been able to plow through books like wild in the last few months

I also want to say: grad school is hard. It’s so absolutely difficult. Master’s programs are rough, and PhD programs are their own rodeo, and it sucks to say (because it sounds awful to most people, I know), but unless someone goes through grad school themselves, it’s hard to fathom what makes it so hard and exhausting. It’s totally okay to cut yourself some slack for finding you don’t have as much energy for other things, even the things you really enjoy. The books will be there waiting, and I'll admit it took me a solid 4 years to accept that myself lol

Thanks for the lovely ask, and I really do wish you well as you finish up 💜 again, I'm here--ask box or dm--if you'd like to take more about any part of the process 💜

#about me #reading #mad answers asks

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agent-grey-fics · 1 year ago

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So we all know that my mom is dying, she has ALS and she’s deteriorating pretty fast the last couple of weeks compared to last year when she got diagnosed.

I’m the oldest (25yo) of two and hope to graduate uni this September after my thesis defence. My sister just started her job (she’s 23) in a bigger city an hour away forum home and she’s moving into her first apartment in a month, also an hour away from home.

Now, I’ve always said that I wanted to get a phd abroad after my masters since my discipline isn’t a big thing in my country. That was my next big 4year life plan: moving away to a big European city and living my best 20somthing live whiles perusing a PhD. But when my mom got sick I pushed that of the table, I couldn’t put myself to move halfway across the globe when she only got around 3 years left. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

So now that I’m staying, everyone seems to think and expect mo to stay at home with my mom and take care of her. I do want to take care of my mom but I don’t want to move in with her and be her caregiver 24/7.. It feels as if everyone expects for me to pause my life and spend the next couple of years on taking care of my mom 24/7. We had our issues in the past and everything started working out when I lived on my own during my bachelors and master’s, I haven’t lived permanently alt home since I was 18 and I’m turning 26..

When my mom got sick, my sister started to stay away from home under the ‘I can’t do this, I’m going crazy’ motto. Keep in mind that I was already in therapy before our mom got sick because of the childhood trauma I have from my relationship with my parents. I was working so hard on regaining a healthy relationship with them and the this happened.

So my sister barely visited home the last 12 months, I’ve been travelling back and forth to check on mom and take her to all her doctor and hospital visits. My sister never asks about how those went, until this July she even didn’t know that our mom was taking antidepressants and she YELLED at me for not telling her. But every time I wanna update her she blocks me off. Do you get the situation?

So I kind of already put my life aside to help our mom out, what I do with love that’s not the thing, but I never get a thank you pr help from anyone else, it’s just so frustrating ‘cause every is saying ‘oh but good old Lexi will stay at home and help her dying mom’. As if I don’t have plans for myself. I’ll have to settle for things I don’t want for my life and by the time I’ll be able to move on I’ll probably be 28ish.

I also found out that my aunt and mom put out a request for a care giver funding in my name. They didn’t ask me a thing…

I do want to take care of my mom, but not full time cause I still want my own life and share firsts with her while I still can. Like my sister gets to decorate her first home with our mom while I can’t because they expect me to stay at home.

I don’t want to sound like an asshole but this is so frustrating and I’m bawling my eyes out only by writing this down.

Idk just had to vent this out. My therapist told me to do the things I want for me, including moving out because she’s afraid for my mental health going back etc.

Ugh I’m sorry I had to rant about this one.

Lots of love,

Lexi

#me #mine #dying parent #ALS

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chaandkeeroshni · 1 year ago

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3.06.23, 9 pm

It’s June already, time has been passing by so fast that in the longer scheme, we just lose track of some very very slow days. Like today.

Today was so slow. I think it was the only day in the last few months/weeks where I did not work/had any social commitment. I woke up, stayed in bed, watched tv and had McDonald’s. Went back to sleep. Woke up, the tiffin Aunty was here to drop the food off. Ate, watched more tv. Made a hair mask with egg and yogurt like my mom used to do in my hair when I was a child, put it on. Took some clothes out of donation; getting rid of the clutter is my biggest personal project right now. I wanna get rid of as much stuff as possible, especially with the moving.

Cleaned my room a little bit.

Showered, and then stayed in the bath robe watching a movie for quite a while. It was kind of depressing and really don’t know if I should be watching shit like this.

Started putting my stuff on marketplace. Really trying hard not to procrastinate over all this this time around.

Sometimes slow days feel really lonely; they are reminders of how lonely life can really be and we don’t realize it in the noise of everything going on, all the commitments. Sometimes I feel like there’s this hole in life, and I don’t know what to fill that with.

I feel like the last time when I didn’t feel this hole was when I was with Ahmad. Something about that kind of companionship made me feel really held at all times; like my problems, my plans were never only mine. someone was there to shoulder my life with me, at all times. and it’s been so so so long and maybe I’ve intentionally not let in anyone like that due to multiple reasons; one main reason being that I’ve actually gotten really used and comfortable shouldering life myself because I’ve been able to do so much on my own. It’s become my comfort zone now; letting someone in feels very very uncomfortable and I feel suffocated. There’s people I’ve met in the last one year alone who overwhelmingly wanted to be let in, who only wanted to give to me. It felt uncomfortable to take all of it. I kind of only let people in when they were somehow unavailable, because I could stay in my own comfort zone like that.

Most days it’s great, I know how to do what most people around me don’t. I know how to take care of myself and get through things independently. And I think it’s the greatest thing I’m mastering. But some days, it feels lonely.

Yesterday, Antonella, Ella and I met at her place: a really nice apartment at Monkland avenue. She has a cute little home, with a dog and a husband. We sat there talking and talking, and sometimes I feel this comfort and safety in being in the company of women, especially feminists, who’re older than me. I feel it’s the most sincere and secure form of love a young woman can receive. A true luxury.

Anyways, point being, Ella’s home seemed perfect to me. Her husband is currently doing a PhD at McGill, and he came in for a while and she asked him to grab some cheese before he left. And he kissed her goodbye and took their dog for a walk for a bit. As the dog, bulu, lied down in my lap, she took a picture for her husband and said “I’ll show your daddy, you’ve never done that with any guest before.” Bulu would like at me, in my eyes, just like joy and send back the most excited loving energy, I feel like there’s a part of my soul that only dogs truly see & understand. My life would be incomplete if I never get one.

I felt happy for Ella. But I did for a moment wonder what it’d feel like to have a home like that, what it’d feel like to be loved like that. To know that you had spent the night drinking wine with your friends, and soon your husband will be back home—and that’s how your day ends. Everyday.

Sometimes I do wonder what that’d feel like, but to me, that feels so unattainable I barely ever imagine that for myself. Part of me, I feel, has gotten used to the sense of home I’ve created with myself, and is afraid to fuck that up by letting someone in. The sense of home with myself and my space feel sacred almost, and it feels like I’d make them dirty by letting someone in.

When a man stays too long in my room, I start feeling my room is becoming dirty.

Anyways, yesterday was lovely, and definitely one of my favourite days ever. And I want to write down what Ella said to me. She said “I would love myself so much if I were you, you have so many reasons to love yourself. You’re intelligent in ways more than one and you have the gift of expressing all those different forms of intelligence in a humble and contained way. You have the gift of making anyone around you feel comfortable with your energy.”

Sometimes, I do feel like I might have a gift. As a child, I always did. The feeling goes away when you start attaching your value to institutions, unknowingly, knowingly. But I’m trying to connect back to it, my inner power that I felt so innately in my childhood.

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macncheesenibblers · 3 years ago

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IM DONE WITH MY ADVISING APPOINTMENTS!!!

#at the risk of jinxing my grades and academic reputation #she said ‘with you background and grades I think you should consider graduate school’ like I don’t want to but what a compliment!!!#and then she was asking me ‘do you wanna do master’s or PhD?’ and I was like well if I can’t get a job in what I want with the bachelor’s #then a master’s. and she asked again ‘no PhD?’ like wow you hoes are severely overestimating me but I love the compliments 💖❤️🥰#I even dropped a math class this semester too like what??#I’m not meaning to brag Im just so happy and I so often feel down and stupid <3 especially when I get called on so often dk the answer #it’s nice to know even with all the ways my life has gotten fucked up and all my health issues… I still got it 😎👉👉 (somewhat)#OH AND THIS WAS THE DEPARTMENT HEAD!!!!

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geminirum · 3 years ago

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in honour of eternals being released on disney+, i bring you a high school au

i hated high school with every fibre in my body, but i don’t hate them, and this was an excuse to use this dress i found off pinterest because one can dreami know not everyone will have the same experience, so bear with me and remember this is all subjective ✨

———

liked by spriteintoaction, officialkingo, missthena and 61 others

itsdruig: the only class i didn’t hate. gonna miss it

officialkingo: i still can’t believe you’ve been an artist this whole time and literally never said anything

itsdruig: i like to remain mysterious, its part of my charm, y’know

officiallyikaris: so was i gonna be invited to your class’ end of the year exhibit, or no?

itsdruig: no.

therealeros: love it, love your family dynamic

missthena: literally who asked you to be here?

liked by danewhitman, spriteintoaction, guidingajak and 56 others

simplymakkari: she’s a runner, she’s a track star 🏃🏾‍♀️

danewhitman: sersi and i wanna bring snacks for the rest of your teammates? are orange slices too cliche

simplymakkari: not at all! please bring them 🍊

officialkingo: is your little boyfriend gonna be there?

itsdruig: yes i will be, and i’m bringing my siblings they wanted to watch

missthena: yes, i do enjoy watching sports. i do not enjoy participating in them, however

spriteintoaction: you’re literally a black belt in karate, isn’t that a sport?

missthena: touché

guidingajak: your mother and i will be there 😘😘

liked by simplymakkari, heyimphastos, cookingwithgil and 90 others

itsdruig: pretty flowers for an even prettier girl ♥️

lovesersi: was this your own way of telling us that you asked makkari to prom? 🤨

itsdruig: possibly….

heyimphastos: i can’t believe that you got a prom date before any of us

cookingwithgil: ^ yeah man you kinda suck

itsdruig: i just go after what i want. be bold.

simplymakkari: my mom wants to meet you before we go to prom!! she invited you over for dinner :)

liked by itsdruig, heyimphastos, spriteintoaction and 45 others

simplymakkari: yeah… my brother was a theatre kid… no we didn’t go to denny’s afterwards….

officialkingo: thanks for dragging them with you

simplymakkari: if i had to suffer, they do too

spriteintoaction: love it. love the enthusiasm!

officialkingo: you be quiet, you’re starting high school soon. then you’ll understand the trials and tribulations of entering adulthood

cookingwithgil: i’m just impressed he didn’t freeze

heyimphastos: jokes aside, you were really good

guidingajak: ignore them, you were wonderful darling! i’m so immensely proud of you ❤️

liked by lovesersi, danewhitman, officiallyikaris and 78 others

itsdruig: spare with the best (tagged: simplymakkari)

comments have been limited

lovesersi: you’re actually studying?

itsdruig: i do study a lot, you just don’t notice

officiallyikaris: your handwriting is atrocious

itsdruig: funny i was about to say the same thing about your football skills, cousin

cookingwithgil: okay let me ask you this, what do you hope to pursue? if you have an idea, no rush!

itsdruig: finally, a civil comment. i’m studying social work with a minor in psychology, with hopes of getting my masters and then PhD

spriteintoaction: my brother is actually really smart y’all, you just don’t give him enough credit

liked by guidingajak, lovesersi, cookingwithgil and 58 others

simplymakkari: mom meets the boyfriend, pt. 1

officiallyikaris: did she kill him?

simplymakkari: you do realize that only YOU hate druig, everyone else pretty much adores him

missthena: how sweet, my little brother meeting his girlfriend’s mom. i’m gonna go tell gil and everyone

spriteintoaction: oh i’m wayyyyyy ahead of you

itsdruig: why is everyone teasing me for this??? 💀

cookingwithgil: respectfully, you hate most people so this is a really big deal for you

heyimphastos: i won’t be respectful about it lol, dude you literally hate most things expect makkari. you meeting her family is a big step

lovesersi: well i for one am very happy for you two!

itsdruig: i knew i tolerated you for a reason

guidingajak: don’t listen to them dear, it was so wonderful to meet you! i see why makkari likes you so much, you’re a kind young man

liked by simplymakkari, officiallyikaris, spriteintoaction and 100 others

itsdruig: PROM NIGHT 2024

comments have been turned off

liked by lovesersi, missthena, guidingajak and 532 others

simplymakkari: im sitting here, NOT crying in my prom dress 💜✨

lovesersi: and it has pockets!!!! you won

spriteintoaction: look i’m not the most fashionable person out there but holy crap this is stunning

officialkingo: i agree this is the finest piece of craftsmanship i have ever seen, ever

missthena: how could someone ever cry looking that beautiful, have fun tonight you two

guidingajak: but not too much fun

officialkingo: what mom said, i’m watching you druig

itsdruig: oh wow 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

liked by missthena, heyimphastos, cookingwithgil and 67 others

itsdruig: prom after party with a special guest appearance from bob ross (tagged: simplymakkari)

officialkingo: i take it back go have too much fun guys this is so lame

simplymakkari: lmaooo can you tell which one is mine and which one is druig’s

itsdruig: you tried and i love you for that <3

officiallyikaris: let’s rewind here, did you just say i love you to makkari on instagram comments

spriteintoaction: oooohhhhh

cookingwithgil: oooohhhhh

heyimphastos: oooohhhhh

missthena: oooohhhhh

itsdruig: and this is why i hate you all :)

#movies: eternals #marvel: cast #movies: marvel #ch: druig #ch: makkari #otp: drukkari #my edits!

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has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong · 3 years ago

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Learning how to use the runes with Caster Cu (FGO)

I spent 6 hrs writing the most shamelessly self-indulgent headcanons ever Here, Caster will teach the FGO master the basics of the runes. Follow the master as they learn a bit about their origins, face rigorous testing, make their own set of runes; and use them for the very first time!

*Disclaimer: These headcanons will focus on the use of the Elder Futhark runes. (In fgo, they use both elder and younger futhark) As I’ve only been researching the Nordic runes for around 9 months, please take these headcanons with a pinch of salt! (also, fgo master will be gender neutral! Please enjoy.)

As soon as you broach the topic to him, Caster Cu’s face pales considerably; as images of Odin hanging upside down on the world tree for 9 days permeate his mind. Hopefully you weren’t asking him if you could do that... you weren't, right?

‘Shit...I knew this day would come.’ Awkwardly lowering his hood over his face (so then he can avoid looking at your expectant expression); Caster sighs. “Ah, yeah...Rune magic. Sure, I’ll teach you later...yeah, later.”

Hoping that his bluff is successful, he tries to dematerialize away as fast as possible. However, once you latch onto his pale blue coat to ask what you should do first, he finally caves in; knowing that there’s no way for him to worm his way out of this perilous situation.

“You know, you could try asking Skadi. Or how about Shishou? There’s a hell of a lot of other servants who know bits and pieces about the runes as well. How about you give ‘em a try first?”

When you admit that you want to learn from him, due to your deep appreciation for his extremely flashy use of the runes; Caster stifles a laugh. Yep, there really was no room for escape now.

“Well, I can’t fault you for that; I do look pretty damn cool in action!” Twirling his staff, Caster strikes a pose. “But I don’t get it. You’re already training in other arts. Why would you wanna load rune magic on top of that? You like drowning yourself in work or something??”

As you excitedly flapped your arms around, explaining how you liked watching him trace sparkling runes with his hands; and wanted to take his tree branch summoning skills for yourself, his eyes widen with surprise. He wasn’t expecting you to be this observant.

“Ah, you mean the Berkana/Berkano (ᛒ) rune? Yeah, that one represents the birch tree, so I can summon it. It also commonly symbolizes new beginnings and fertility...” Caster trails off as your braincells physically implode at his explanation.

Berkana? Birch trees? Fertility?! You had no idea what he was talking about right now. As a dour silence weighs heavily upon the two of you, a lightbulb of inspiration strikes Caster right in the head.

“Oi, master. Read up a little on the runes, and remember at least some of their names first. As your new teacher, that’ll be your first assignment. See ya!” And with that, he was gone, vanishing into thin air. Realizing that he had just agreed to teach you, your face sparkles with glee. Clenching your fists with all of your might, you march towards the library. Time would wait for no man!!!!

Exchanging friendly greetings with Murasaki, as you trundle through an entire emporium of books; it takes hours for you to find a book on the runes. Many of the books were in a language that you couldn’t read, however this one looked rather easy on the eyes.

Titled ‘Easy Rune Magic for Modern Mages’, you flick through a rather simplistic guide that provides you with the names and a single definition for each rune; but it provides you with little to no information on how to truly understand their meaning. With subheadings such as ‘How to use the Fehu (ᚠ) rune to generate wealth to pay for your magecraft PHD at the Clock Tower’ and ‘Is Thurisaz (ᚦ) more effective to use as a defensive spell or curse spell?’ you were officially BAMBOOZLED. Tired, you decide to throw in the towel for today.

However, on your way back to your room, a stroke of excellent luck manifests itself before you. Situated upon a sturdy pine table are none other than Sigurd and Byrnhildr, who are reading together. Although you find this scene to be rather adorable (seeing as they were both entirely intact, with no stabbing wounds to be seen); you decided to interrupt their date anyway.

“O-oh, master...” Byrnhildr blushes, as Sigurd waves politely. “What brings you here today?” Slamming your hands on the table, you passionately declare that you wish to learn more about the runes, but can’t understand them without gaining some insight into their history first. As Brynhildr’s eyes glimmer with a sense of appreciation at your open display of interest of their culture, Sigurd haphazardly pulls out the chair next to them.

“I’m glad to see you profess such a profound interest in the runes, master. Please sit down and join us.” Glasses sparkling ominously, Sigurd explains a little bit more about how the elder futhark runes work. He not only explains how Odin discovered their wisdom after hanging from the world tree Yggdrasil; but also tells you about how Odin shared their power with humankind, making him none other than the ‘Allfather’ of the runes.

At the mention of his name, Byrnhild’s expression sours somewhat; making you realize that the two most likely share personal ties with him.

“They’re a special alphabet that we can use to invoke the power and wisdom of the Norse gods, so be careful with them.”

Sigurd then goes on to explain how all 24 runes are separated into three Aetts- which are basically a means of dividing the runic characters into different categories.

“Each rune comes with a short poem. That way, you’ll be able to understand them and their context a little more.”

Once you thank him for the information, he replies with a “I hope I was of use. I’m very proud of you for asking us for help.”; as Byrnhildr returns with an entire truckload of books tucked within her arms!!!

“These books will be helpful! This one’s about the myths associated with the runes, and this one is a practical guide that’ll help cultivate understanding. As for this one, it explains their etymology.”

Byrnhildr chuckles at your gobsmacked expression, as the two of them heap the books into your own arms. “You don’t need to know everything about them, but it’ll be handy for you to develop a little bit of historical and lexical knowledge as well.”

‘I thought I only had to know their names and descriptions...!!’ Tears pooling within your eyes at the mountain of books, you thank them for their help and leave, as they wish you all the best with your studies (and prayed that one day you’d wish to speak to them in the language as well. They couldn’t wait for that opportunity!)

Sighing all the way back to your room, you gasp in surprise as you bump into none other than Skadi.

“Oh, good timing.” Passing you a bundle of golden-trimmed strips of ancient paper, Skadi smiles vigorously. “You can use these as flash cards for your rune training, as well. I’m surprised that you didn’t ask for my guidance, but that may have been for the best. I would’ve trained you thoroughly in the arts.”

A chill jolts through your spine at that. Who knows just how hard she would’ve trained you? Part of Skadi was Scathach, after all. Thanking her for her assistance, the two of you split paths.

‘I seem to be bumping into a lot of people today...’

Was this a mere coincidence, or perhaps something more?

A busy month full of book reading and writing notes onto your flash cards passes within a blur.

Mash had also shown great interest in your studies, and would help test you with your flashcards every day! However, you were still pretty confused about how long this stage of research would last for.

Whilst reading up on how runes could also be used to predict the future and provide advice for one’s dilemmas; and how the Nornir (3 deities of fate) determined this form of divination, you groan.

All of the people within the books had their own sets of runes, which they would use to communicate with the gods.

In other words, they could be used for divination as well as magic.

‘Why can’t I do that yet?’ You pout indignantly; snapping the book shut.

If Caster wouldn’t teach you rune magic, he could at least teach you about divination! Patience running thin, you decide to leap back into action.

It was time to confront your teacher, once and for all.

However, as soon as you exit your room; you are greeted by none other than Caster himself.

Almost tripping onto the floor with surprise, you gawp in shock at his appearance. With his staff and a mouth-watering cup of Darjeeling tea he had brought from one of Marie’s posthumous tea parties in his hands, Caster smirks. “Yo, master. Looks like I came just on time.”

As the two of you settle in the canteen for class (?), after a bit of small talk; you declare that you want to learn how to use the runes for divination. “If you won’t teach me magic, then I would like to learn how to communicate with the runes first, please!”

At this, he lets out an unusually loud guffaw of laughter. “Ahaha, so you finally worked it out, huh? Before you can use their magic; you gotta understand and communicate with the runes, as well. You’re a faster learner than I thought you’d be.”

Unsure whether this was a compliment or not, you enquire as to what he means by that. “It’s pretty simple: you can’t cast these bad boys without building a relationship with them first. On that note, let’s see how much you’ve learnt from your studies.”

His test is a nightmare.

As he barks the name of each rune from the First Aett (the first eight runes), you are forced to draw each and every one. If you get a rune wrong, he repeats it consistently until you draw the right alphabet for each one.

Afterwards, he takes you through a hellish journey as he asks you to provide at least one definition for each rune.

By the time you are done, night has already swept its veil over Chaldea; the halls devoid of any signs of life.

In other words, the two of you had been at this for the entire evening, which had definitely garnered you both the attention and pity of many staff and servants.

Stomach rumbling, you beg Caster to finish class for today.

“Yeah, sure. Whoops, looks like I got a bit carried away right there.” He has definitely inherited his deadly teaching style from Scathach.

When you ask him if you’re ready for the next bout of training; he frowns. “Nope, that was only the First Aett. You’ll only move to the next stage when you’ve memorized all THREE. In other words, get to learning all 24 runes!!” As you cry in despair, Caster shoots you a mischievous wink as he helps himself to the bar.

The dreaded tests continue on a weekly basis.

Not only do you have to deal with the challenges of the saving the world, helping out your allies and maintaining your own health; you also have to leap into the hellish jaws of rune testing with Caster Cu.

Albeit suffering greatly from the challenge, your spirit was also greatly roused. Learning about the runes was fun!

So much fun, that you’d often dream about them, and see their shapes in the food that you ate; and would even accidentally use their names in conversation sometimes, like saying: “Oh, I’m sure the energy of this rune would help with your headaches,” to a very bewildered Mash; or comparing the sunrise to the runes (which confused Shakespeare and Hans greatly. Actually, they are now worried about your health).

All in all, your studies were starting to take effect!!

It was finally time.

As Caster more or less yelled the name of each rune at you, your response was astounding. Not only were you able to draw the shape of every rune in a matter of seconds, you could also provide multiple readings for all 24 of them.

Eyebrows quirked with surprise, Caster sighs with relief. ‘Phew. Looks like class will be shorter than usual today.’

“Holy shit. You’ve done a damn great job, master. You got them all right!” As you roared with joy, pumping your fists into the air with glee; Caster almost fell off his chair- clutching his sides as he tried (yet failed) not to laugh. “Alright, buckle up. We’re gonna get you a set of runes now.”

A set of runes?! Your eyes sparkled at the prospect of finally being able to have runes of your own. It was about time, as well. You had grown sick of using your flash cards, you wanted the real thing!

However, you were confused about the concept of needing your own set. If Skadi and Caster Cu could manifest them just by using their hands, and magical devices; why would a person need to have a set of them? As you expressed your concern, Caster nods his head in understanding.

“I see your point. But even I have a set of runes, you know? It’s every bit as useful a method.” Unleashing a small, worn-out felt pouch; glimmering gems -whose rune inscriptions were engraved upon them in gold- splashed across the dining table. They were beautiful. “’Sides, there’s something exciting about making your own set.”

Your mind swims with excitement, as he describes the different materials that runes can be made from: bones, metal, gemstones, pebbles, glass, clay...there were endless options.

However, when you asked him if you could use your collection of Evil Bones to make a rune set, he chokes on his coffee- pure horror drenched across his features.

“No way in hell! You trying to get yourself killed? Never invoke the power of the runes on cursed items, master.”

Then how about using QP or Mana Prisms as a base to inscribe the runes instead? Once you suggested this, his face paled somewhat. “Yeah, about that...don’t even think about it. You need those materials, you know.”

Grumpily threading his hands through blue locks of hair, he sighs. “Look, I’ll help you find some materials. Guess we could rayshift the next time I’m free or something...” As you cheer exuberantly, he can’t help but crack a small smile.

Being a teacher was a lot more amusing than he originally anticipated it to be. There was something fun about departing his knowledge. Besides, he had dedicated himself to becoming the guiding light of Chaldea anyway. ‘A little teaching hurts no-one.’

Using the light of the Soliwo (ᛊ) rune to guide the way, the two of you traverse through a forest heaving with verdant green trees and wildlife.

No matter how many pretty trees and tumbled pebbles you found by the riverside; you weren’t sure if they were the right material for you.

Just when you were about to give up, a powerful jolt of electricity beckons you; almost as if it’s calling your name. As soon as you alert Caster of your instinctual powers, he looks rather flummoxed at first; but is somewhat awed once his Soliwo rune’s light begins to shine in exactly the same direction as the one you’re pointing in!

‘Huh, that sure is weird.’

Things only get weirder, once you both come upon a ginormous slab of Labradorite. Situated neatly upon a bed of leaves. Placed carefully within the middle of the forest.

This timing was too good to be true.

As the electricity coursing through your veins triples in intensity, Caster has to hold you back before you cut loose. “Oi, wait up. Let me test this stone for safety first.”

Placing an Algiz (ᛉ) runestone in your hands to guarantee your protection, he saunters towards the massive hunk of Labradorite.

Chanting an incantation beneath his breath, the forest glows in an eerie blue light; as a pale magic circle glimmers beneath the stone. “Yeah, it’s safe. Pretty strange for it to be out here, though.”

As he sketches Thurisaz (ᚦ) (which not only symbolizes thorns, defense and danger, but can also be used as a means to channel a power akin to Thor’s hammer, mlonjir) onto his staff, he smashes it against the mass of Labradorite; splitting what was once an enormous rock into 24 neatly divided; brilliant blue gems.

Gathering them up, he thrusts them before you. “Here you go. That was a pretty lucky find, if I do say so myself.”

You thank him for your help- making sure to also pay homage to the awesome power of your intuition at the same time, which tickles Caster right in the funny bone.

As soon as the stones drop into your hand; they crackle with an immensely powerful energy, as if these gems were waiting for you!!

As you turn them onto the side; you are gobsmacked to see rune inscriptions already engraved onto each and every stone, as if they were reacting to the mana flowing within your body.

You ask Caster to take a look at this strange phenomenon for you.

“Whoa, are you kidding me? That’s pretty awesome. Let me take a look, too.” As you gently stretch your palms towards Caster- trying to keep the runestones steady in your hands- he gently takes your palms, leaning towards them.

As he catches sight of the engravings lying upon them, his crimson eyes widen with bewilderment. “Holy shit...I think the gods just made you an offering. You’re secretly packing a shitload of power in there, ain’t you? Great job!”

Ruffling your hair, Caster grins. “Think you’ve got time for more teaching?”

As you nod your head, anticipation clear on your features; he plonks onto the ground, handing you a felt pouch. “Put them in there. Try doing your first reading, see what rune speaks to you first!”

Eagerly plonking all 24 runes into the sparkly pouch, you close your eyes and concentrate; beseeching the contact of the gods. Imagining yourself encountering the Nonrnir, as you visualize dropping into the center of the world; you place a hand within your pouch.

Rummaging around the bag, a single rune sends energy rippling through your fingers. That was the one! Pulling it out of the bag, you grin excitedly...only to see that it was none other than...

Nauthiz (ᚾ).

‘Aw shite...’ Disappointed by the rune, you sigh. You wished that your rune could’ve been a more positive one! However, Caster’s reaction was rather different to yours.

“Hey, it’s not as bad as it looks.” Figure illuminated by the sun, he looked much more chill than usual. “Nauthiz is all about your needs, you know? With all the singularities popping up recently, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re pushing yourself too far.”

“But this rune is basically saying ‘lol you’re suffering’...It’s frustrating.” You counter him.

You knew all too well about the massive strains your body was going through, the transformations you were forced to undergo. Sometimes, it was just too painful for you to bear. Seeing this rune only served as a reminder of that fact.

“How about you look at it from a different perspective? Even though things are way outta wack for you, a small fire still burns. Doesn’t Nauthiz look a bit like two twigs that you’d see in a fire?” Now that was a funny observation. As you smiled at that, he continued. “It just means that no matter how hard things become; all you gotta do is balance your needs and continue to fight. Nauthiz is also screaming ‘oi, damnit! Don’t give up here, you can survive and make it out the other side sparkling like brand new, you hear me??’”

You were very grateful to hear that. Now you realized that even the most ominous of runes also came with signs of fortune and peace.

In other words, they would be there to support you all the way. Thanking him for his great insight, he replies with a simple “Well, I’m the wise one you know? Anyway, you know the saying. Even the coldest of ice thaws someday.”

As you correctly link his adage to the runes, he claps with pride. “Nice, nice. Well, that’ll be all for my teaching. Soon you’ll be able to do readings with nine or more runes!”

But once you yell to him about how you want to use runes such as Kenaz (ᚲ) to fulfil your long-standing desire to set shit on fire; his expression hardens.

“I ain’t teaching you rune magic until you learn how to master rune divination. Don’t push your luck too far~ Come visit me again once you learn how to read the past, present and future with them!” As you indigently complain about how you still want to summon birch trees, and about how difficult it was to learn about the runes; he bursts into rancorous laughter. “That’s not my problem! C’mon, lay off a little...”

Frustrated, you finally give up, asking for one last request. “Caster. What rune will you get if you do a single reading? I would like to see.”

Begrudgingly adhering to your request, he unearths none other than the Ansuz (ᚨ) rune.

“Ah, my favorite. Well, that’s it for today. Let’s go back.” As he turns away, a frightening wind blows through the trees, as a dark shadow drifts over his figure.

In that very moment, he becomes a dark specter within a bountiful forest filled with brilliant light; as his form briefly flickers and shifts, melding into an entire kaleidoscope of distinct beings.

But all it took was a single blink for his form to return back to normal again.

How strange...Was that none other than an illusion? Were your eyes playing tricks with you? Silently trailing behind, you contemplated the meaning behind the rune he had drawn.

Ansuz...It commonly symbolized communication, breath, and chiefly of all...it was the rune that represented none other than Odin himself.

In addition to that, you saw how the rune landed on its side when Caster drew it, and the mysterious glint in his eyes.

Was Caster hiding something? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

‘Just who is Caster Cu really?’ Such a thought weighed dangerously heavy within your mind as the two of you took the steep path back home.

By learning more about the runes, you may have unlocked the door to an endless chasm of mysteries; one that had ties directly linking to the deeper truths lying behind Chaldea...

THE END

Omg this was only meant to be like 1,000 words. But I got extremely invested within this concept and was burning with great excitement, which lead to this becoming SUPER LONG XD Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this ;; Also dw learning runes in real life isn’t as hardcore as this, I promise you!

#fgo #fate series #caster cu #cu chulainn #sigurd #byrnhild #gilgablog #my writing #AAAAAH THIS TOOK 6 HRS IT WAS FUN VERY FUN BUT I ALSO WAS LOOKING AT ALL ME BOOKS ... but im like if dw wont do it then i will! so i did.

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recurring-polynya · 3 years ago

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Your thoughts and headcannons on Nemuri Hachigou because I don't think she gets talked about enough, when in reality she's pretty interesting, she's essentially, a blank slate, Mayuri's second chance that I don't think he feels like he deserves. She's Nemu but she isn't and I think people(especially Mayuri) forget that a lot, that's a fascinating position to be in.

Puttin’ this under a cut because I’m gonna say some unkind things about Mayuri and I do not want to cause any distress to the many lovely people on this website who delight in his horrible antics.

This is not so much a headcanon so much as a thing I came up with for fanfiction purposes, but it’s all I got.

Right. So, like I said, I despise Mayuri. I just hate him. I understand that he appeals to some people, but I strongly dislike the dude and go to exorbitant lengths to avoid him ever appearing in my fanfic.

Additionally, I do not vibe with Nemu 7. She registers as not-a-person for me, she’s basically an extension of Mayuri himself. Don’t get me wrong, I find Mayuri’s treatment of her to be vile and I wish someone would take her away from him, but she comes off as very robotic to me. She is conscious, but she is not an independent being, if that makes sense. She is not a real girl. It’s funny that Mayuri keeps talking about how advanced she is, because clearly he means only her cognitive and fighting abilities. In terms of recreating a person, she’s incredibly primitive compared to the other mod souls we see. Take Kon, for example, who has a fairly limited powerset, but is never presented as less of a soul than any of the other characters. An even more interesting example is Ururu and Jinta. Ururu is described as being older than Jinta, and she is clearly “less human” than him-- she has less affect, she shifts into a distinct “attack” mode, etc, which implies that Jinta represents advances in mod soul technology. It’s notable that Urahara and Tessai and even Renji, in the canon scene where he protects the Shouten kids, never treats them as anything less than people. The contrast with the way Mayuri treats Nemu is stark. He likes that her feelings and personality are limited, he sees this as a feature.

I was completely unmoved by the entire chapter where Nemu died. Her sacrifice did not come across to me as anything indicating growth or humanity-- in every battle she's ever been in, she nearly dies because Kurotsuchi tells her to. She simply prioritizes Mayuri over herself. She always has. It’s simply the logical extension of her programming. A lot of people say they would have preferred Nemu to live and Mayuri to die and for sure I would have *preferred* that, but I have never seen Nemu as enough of a character to be worth rooting for. Like, at least Uryuu would have gotten some satisfaction form killing his clown ass, and that might have convinced me for at least half a second that he actually was on the side of the Quincy.

Caveat: if some talented fanficcer wants to write a short novel on Nemu discovering her humanity etc etc, I’m all for it, I’m just saying that canon hasn’t given us anything to suggest she would do more than just shut down without Mayuri to tell her what to do.

Onto Nemuri 8. I can’t believe they let Mayuri have another one. It makes my blood boil. The dude is an on-screen abuser and Kubo had the gall to try to make me feel sorry feel him (I did not) and then gave him another one.

So, I took her away from him.

I mentioned earlier that I go to great lengths to keep Mayuri the hell out of my fanfic, and usually the way I do that is to have my characters go through Akon whenever they have to deal with Squad 12. I think I started doing this because Akon is sort of weirdly familiar with Renji and Rukia in the TYBW, but I have projected all over him and he’s mine now. The way I assume Squad 12 functions, based on my career in scientific programming, is that Mayuri is like a primary investigator-- he's the Big Ideas guy and he spends a lot of time doing wholly self-directed research. He’s the face of Squad 12, so he has to go talk to the Captain-Commander and beg for money and defend blowing things up, but when it comes to science stuff, he does what he wants. Nemu is the lieutenant, and I think she handles most of the usual lieutenanting-- paperwork, meetings, etc., but I think Mayuri takes up a lot of her time by using her as a personal lab assistant on his wacky projects. There's nothing wrong with this, but I think in a lot of squads, the lieutenant is responsible for the day-to-day running of the squad and spends a lot of time dealing with their subordinates and other lieutenants. Nemu, instead, focuses on her captain. Now, the rest of the Gotei counts on Squad 12 for a lot actually-- gigai, Hollow tracking, Dangai monitoring, etc. etc. From the point of view of most science people, this stuff is mundane-- it’s all application, not development, and all the difficulty is in the twitchy little details. It’s frustrating and it’s unrewarding and you never get credit for it, and it is vitally important. There is a certain kind of science professional that makes a career out of this. They usually have master's degrees instead of PhDs, and they are usually tragically underpaid and underappreciated for what they do. In the real world, without these people, you wouldn’t have mass vaccination sites or weather data on your phone or cute li’l robots landing on other planets. In Bleach, these are the people keeping soul reapers alive in the field. And in my mind, this is Akon’s department.

So here’s the headcanon:

After Nemu’s death, Mayuri has so much sad clown pain about it that he wants another robot child poste-haste, but can’t bring himself to do the actual work, so he shoves it off onto Akon, with a list of the design specs he wants. The last one was pretty good, Akon can handle a few minor upgrades, it doesn’t need his personal hand in it. Thinking about going through all that work again just pisses him off, honestly. What a waste!

And Akon's like, yeah, cool, fine. It was heavily implied that he did a lot of the work on Nemu 7, it's just a matter of digging out his old notes and cleaning out some vats.

Except that, right around the same time, Rukia and Renji decide to have a baby.

Babies are super rare in the Gotei, and it’s not like those stuffy nobles are gonna let Akon look at their precious offspring. But Rukia is a rank weirdo, and Akon is their pal, so she’s always like “I hear they have these things in the Living World where you can pee on a stick and tell if you’re pregnant, can you make me one?” and Akon’s brain goes, “Wow, what even is the first detectable sign of a newly formed soul, this is very interesting.” So, at the same time he’s trying to grow a new and improved Nemu, he’s got access to the developing fetus of two captain-class shinigami. So when he has to pick between eight good candidate embryos to move to the next vat, he picks… not the one with the strongest reiatsu signature, like they did last time, but the one whose reiatsu looks the most like a real baby.

Akon reminds me of a lot of programmers I know, so I always sort of headcanon him as particularly interested in whatever passes for programming in Squad 12, and I think he takes special interest in revamping Nemu’s artificial intelligence system, which is primarily based on taking in information about the world and building up a realistic personality based on people she observes. In particular, it gives extra weight to “people who resemble her”. Nemu 7 was raised by Squad 12, so she came up very Squad 12, just like Mayuri wanted. Unfortunately, toddler Hachigou Nemuri’s algorithm unexpectedly decides that she has much more in common with toddler Abarai Ichika than any of the adult soul reapers around her.

Nemuri 8 is a very successful sample in terms of power and intelligence but she’s also very boisterous, and the rest of Squad 12 is like “Akon do something” so Akon takes drastic measures: he asks Renji for parenting advice. Distressingly, Renji is full of useful ideas like “tire her out” and “only fight the important battles” and “we’re signed up for baby yoga, you wanna start comin’ to baby yoga? Your back is gonna thank you.”

Akon didn't mean to let them hang out so much, but Ichika is a very useful data point and also if he takes Nemuri over to the Abarai house, the girls will entertain themselves (i.e. chew on each other) long enough for him to have a beer with Renji and Rukia and honestly my man really needs that beer.

I don’t think Akon thinks of himself as Nemu’s dad past the first time when she calls him ‘Daddy’ and he corrects her (she only did it because that’s what Ichika calls Renji, very predictable quirk of her programming). She’s just a work project. She’s not even his project, she’s Mayuri’s project, he’s just handling the little details. Fathering just happens to be an adjacent field of study that he’s found to contain a number of very useful best practices.

I would prefer not to get into the detail of the physical abuse that Mayuri uses against Nemu 7, but I would like to think that Akon finds ways to protect Nemuri 8 from the same, or barring that, maybe this is what finally drives Akon to murder Kurotsuchi and become Squad 12 captain himself.

Other Nemuri Headcanons:

Her favorite book is Rejection of the Twin Fishes!, Captain Ukitake’s posthumously published children’s book.

She prefers to be called “Nemuri” over “Nemu.”

Nemuri’s second favorite person in Squad 12 after Akon is Rin, because he always has candy. Rin actually likes having someone to share his hobby with and helps her make a World of the Living Snack Bucket List. When other shinigami come in for gigai, Nemuri constantly tries to con them into bringing something back for her.

Rukia teaches her to cuss, but tells her never to do it around Akon. Nemuri never actually cusses around anyone, but really enjoys having Forbidden Knowledge.

Speaking of Forbidden, she is mildly obsessed with Urahara, even though she’s never met him. She’s constantly on the lookout for thumbprints of his work in modern Squad 12 technology.

The one thing she does have in common with Mayuri is an absolutely batshit personal aesthetic. She starts painting her face as a tween and is somewhat inconveniently both into piercings and inflatable outfits.

The true proof that she has surpassed her predecessor, at least in terms of humanity, is that she is able to learn the name of her zanpakutou.

Oh, if you want to read any of my fanfics with Nemuri, here's one where she and Ichika play football and here's one where she tries to con Byakuya into buying her shaved ice. I really like writing Nemuri hanging out with Byakuya because I think an adult man who navigates social settings via rigid system of etiquette and class hierarchy and a small child with a pile of Markov chains for a brain would be natural friends.

#nemuri hachigou

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nanamicide · 3 years ago

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this is under a read more to not clog y'all's dashboards but it ain't anything bad dw

i've been overthinking this since monday and i've talked about it around me irl but i think it's not helping bc it makes me feel like no one is really considering my feelings/pov on the issue (everyone has the same opinion on what i should do lol tho for different reasons) so i'm turning to you guys even if none of you really know me that well - you don't have to respond but if you end up reading this any input would be appreciated

basically, anyone here who's had more than 2 convos with me knows i wanna do a phd once i finish my masters. to do a phd you need to have (a) a thesis supervisor (b) funding. where im from there are several days to get funding. most of them can be pretty tough to go through but they say that if you're good at what you do it's not really that hard. however, there is a shortcut to this - finding a supervisor who already has funding for a given project.

i'm currently doing my master's thesis under a supervisor who's lovely. i get along with her really well, she's really helpful, is always very supportive, etc. i'm also really fond of the project we're working on this year and i was hoping to take it further by basing my phd thesis on it. she agreed, said we'd start looking for funding next year. all was well and good until then.

on monday we had class with a new doc - he got a position at my university in november. brilliant guy, specializes in psycho-oncology, has done plenty of interesting research, etc. but the vibes are like, off. as a professional, i'm sure he's amazing. as a person, though, idk. now i know, don't judge someone you've only seen in class for 3 hours and blah blah but i'm a great believer in first impressions for whatever reason. anyway, at the end of class he asks if anyone would be interesting doing a phd after graduating. i raise my hand (and i'm the only one who does so so all the attention is on me lol). he then tells me that it's really cool because he'll have funding for a phd student right after i graduate. y'all already guessed it - it's an amazing project, something i would be super happy working on. it would make my life easier because i wouldn't have to look for funding. the money would already be there. i'd have nothing to worry about for the next 4 years except getting the work done and publishing. pretty cool, right? i'd be stupid to pass on such an opportunity. that's what everyone irl told me. and honestly, part of me agrees. i know this is good. i mean, my mom even went on to say it was a sign that he'd receive funding for a field i'm interested in with such great timing. maybe she's right, idk.

so yeah, my issue is that i don't really wanna work with him because i already have my dream supervisor. except dream supervisor, as amazing as she is, doesn't have funding. so idk what to do. i have a few months to think it through but i can't seem to not think about it already. it kept me up last night and i think i'm at my limit overthinking it, tbh.

anyway, sorry for rambling like this. i don't make this type of posts very often because i like to keep the personal info i share online to a minimum but i really have no clue what i should do. thank you for reading my word vomit if you got this far!!

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etherrealoblivion · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter Four: Supper

Table Of Contents

Fic summary: Owning a bookstore in downtown D.C. came with its fair share of downsides. You never thought that being the target of a serial killer would be one of them. Luckily, a nice FBI agent by the name of Spencer Reid is assigned to watch over you. What's the worst that could happen?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Words: 1,748

MASTERLIST

A sudden loud beep had you shooting upright in bed. You leapt up and put your ear to the door. Rather than sinister noises, you heard the faint humming of a very familiar theme song.

You cracked open the bedroom door, peeking into the kitchen where Spencer was bustling around with a frying pan and a spatula with a focused expression on his face, humming the theme music to Doctor Who under his breath.

It was actually kind of adorable. You pushed open the bedroom door further to get a better look, but the door creaked and Spencer spun around, withdrawing his gun and pointing it square in your face.

“I’m sorry!” you squealed, throwing your hands up in surrender.

He quickly holstered his gun and ran over to you. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” you tried to laugh. “A little shaken but I’m okay. Really!” you added after a doubtful look from him.

His eyes were a deep hazel that seemed to peer into your soul. His hands felt good on your shoulders, clutching you tightly in comfort. It had been a while since you’d had, well, any physical contact. He was so tall he had to lean down to level his face with yours.

Suddenly, he seemed to realize how close the two of you were and stepped back, clearing his throat.

“I was, uh, trying to make dinner.”

“I can see that,” you said playfully, with a glance at the kitchen in disarray.

“Yeah. I’m not the best cook. I can memorize thousands of recipes in minutes but i’ve never seemed to master the execution.”

You hesitated.

“Thousands of recipes in minutes? What are you a genius?” you laughed.

“Scientifically, yes. An I.Q. score over 160 classifies someone as a genius.”

Your jaw dropped.

“You’re kidding?”

He shook his head, slipping his hands into his pockets and shrugging.

“Nope.”

“Wait so you can read like, a thousand words per minute?”

“Twenty-thousand,” he corrected, stepping back into the kitchen to continue cooking.

“Twenty-thousand!? That’s impossible!”

“Actually, the unconscious brain can process up to eleven million bits of information per second. It’s just a matter of being able to—“

“—to access the information from your subconscious,” you said, cutting him off. “Wow. That’s impressive.”

He looked at you in shock.

“What’s even more impressive is that you finished a sentence for me.”

“Sorry,” you blushed.

“No! No, I mean, not a lot of people can, erm, keep up. When you start college at fourteen, not many people expect you to be smarter than them. Then when they find out how smart you really are, it can be intimidating.”

Your mouth twitched up into a smile. Spencer was impressive, for sure, but he was also entertaining. Not in a make-fun-of kind of way, but he made you laugh. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“Supper’s ready!”

You stifled a laugh.

“Supper?”

“What?” he looked over at you, reaching up to get two plates.

“Who says supper? Are you eighty?” you teased.

“I’m twenty-six!” he said indignantly.

You froze.

“Wait, really?” He nodded. “You’re only twenty-six and you’re a prominent FBI agent? How?”

“Genius I.Q, three Ph.D.’s, and my irresistible charm,” he said, giving a goofy smile.

“Three PhDs? How? I’m getting a PhD and I can barely keep up with the workload!”

“You‘re getting a Ph.D.? That wasn’t in your police report. What’s it in?” he asked as he filled your plates.

“Actually, I’m working on two.”

“Two!?”

You nodded, happy that you’d been able to shock him.

“Yep. Linguistics and Philosophy. I like Philosophy better but Linguistics is more challenging. The library won't let you into the section with the really good language books without a certain clearance. But I've actually nearly finished my thesis for it. What?” you added, noticing him staring at you.

“You’re working on two doctorates simultaneously?”

“Surprised you’re not the only genius?” you joked, taking your plate from him, then, upon seeing what he’d made, bursting out into laughter.

“What?” he looked genuinely confused, which only made you laugh harder.

“Bacon?” you said through gasps. “Bacon and pancakes? You are aware it’s—“ you glanced at the clock, “—nine forty at night?”

“Gimme a break!” he said defensively. “It’s the only thing I can cook. The word ‘cook‘ being a generous descriptor.”

It was better than Doritos and bourbon for dinner, your go to meal. You were just glad you’d had the stuff to make dinner. It would be very awkward trying to explain your unhealthy eating habits to Spencer.

You didn’t have a dining table. Anyway, you usually ate on the couch and watched something on TV. That was normal nowadays right? Whatever. Spencer didn’t seem to mind which was good enough for you.

“So, um,” he said nervously, pulling out a pad of paper and pencil. “There’s a few things I need to go over with you.”

You nodded, remembering the situation you were in.

“Is there anyone you can think of who might have shown a sort of stalking behavior before? They’d be unreliable, constantly late, not being able to stick to a schedule?”

“The only person I know like that is Claire, one of my co-workers, but she’s not a stalker, she's just always late to work. Honestly, the only people I really know are my co-workers, some people from school, and Steve, my friend.”

“The FBI is going to need a list of people you see frequently. If you could put that together as soon as you’re ready. Also, all your credit card information will have to be analyzed, everywhere it’s been used. Whoever accesses your card, even for something as small as a stick of gum, has the opportunity to use that information to find your name, your address, your workplace—”

“Ok. I get it. People I see frequently and my credit card info. Gotta warn you, there’s not much I buy with it other than books and coffee. Then again, there’s the occasional splurge at the mall.”

“Well, the FBI needs all of it.”

You nodded softly, staring at the bacon on your plate. He hadn’t said I need he’d said The FBI needs. You weren’t sure what that meant exactly.

“Do you want to watch something?” he said, gesturing toward the TV. “It might be a good distraction?”

“Yeah,” you put your plate on the coffee table, noticing that you’d barely eaten. “Yeah that sounds good. Could you just put something on? I don’t wanna choose.”

He nodded and picked up the remote.

The only thing he really knew you liked was Doctor Who so he put on a random episode. You let the TV become background noise to your thoughts as you stared off into space.

Spencer was comforting to be around. He helped take your mind off the situation you were in. You looked over at him on the couch, long legs crossed under him. He had taken off his tie and shoes and changed into more casual clothes: a jumper and some jeans. He was absentmindedly fiddling with the throw blanket between you on the couch.

His hands are so long, you thought. Wait, why were you thinking that? You shouldn’t be thinking about his hands. Or how long they were. Or what they could—

“Are you alright?”

You felt yourself twitch, startled by his sudden acknowledgment. Even more embarrassing, you were sure he’d seen you staring at his hands.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Hey,” he moved closer on the couch, “you don’t have to be sorry. It’s alright to not be okay.”

They were just words, they didn’t help. What did help was the care behind them. He wasn’t just saying it to comfort you, he actually meant it. To him, it really was ok to not be okay.

“Thank you Spencer, that actually helps.”

You glanced at the clock. It was 10:26.

“I should do some schoolwork,” you said, cringing afterward. You didn’t want him to think of you as some school kid.

“Okay!” he chirped happily, standing as you stood like a proper gentleman. “I’ll just be out here. Is it okay if I keep watching?” The episode played on, The Doctor dangling from a rope above London. “I really like this episode,” he said sheepishly.

“Sure,” you chuckled. “I’ll be in my room and please let me know if you need anything, seriously.”

He nodded assent, but you weren’t sure if he actually would. He seemed a little withdrawn, comforting you when you needed but keeping his distance when possible. It’s his job to keep you safe, you reminded yourself. Don’t get excited.

An hour later your eyes watered from the strain of keeping them open. But you were almost done with this paper. Sure, it was due next week but you were on a roll. Using an allusion to the Holocaust to support the point that Hollywood writing is riddled with antisemitism. In the morning, it might not sound as clever, but to your sleep-deprived brain, it was poetry.

A light knock on your door startled you.

“Come in,” you croaked.

Spencer peeked into your room, squinting.

“It’s pitch black in here,” he said, reaching for the light.

You shrieked as the light filled the room, blinding you.

“TOO BRIGHT!” you yelled, slamming your computer shut and throwing your arms over your eyes.

“Sorry! Sorry!” he fumbled with the switch and clicked it off. The room was now shrouded in darkness, neither of you able to see yet.

“Are you there, Spencer?”

“Yeah.”

You were both whispering. Why was it that people whispered in the dark?

“You should try and get some sleep,” Spencer said. He was becoming more visible as your eyes adjusted to the light. He had changed into a blue set of pajamas. The fabric looked so soft.

“Yeah,” you muttered, moving toward the bed, “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Your bed felt scratchy and cold. Just last night getting in bed had been such a relaxing experience. So much had changed in a day.

“I’ll be right in the next room if you need anything,”

“Hmm,” you hummed.

Spencer padded back out of your room.

The moment before the door closed you thought you heard a very faint, “Good night, Y/N.” But before you could wonder if it had happened or not, you were dropping off into a deep sleep. Knowing that you were safe with Spencer in the next room.

Taglist: @aperrywilliams @mjloveskids666 @dolanfivsosxox @criesinreid @fanficsrmylife @racerparker @sammypotato67 @lukeskisses @reidcrimes @you-had-me-at-hello-dear @l0ve-0f-my-life @thatsonezesty13

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid gifs #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert

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