#personally i really love how you could eat the peanuts

[tiktaaliker]

*specifically referring to stuff like "the pies placed a fax machine in the oven" or "the worms dug tunnels under the wormhole".

these are all SPECIFICALLY meant to be things that weren't usually relevant if at all to the plot/game of blaseball, just small stuff, hence the exclusion of things like wimdies or the chaos of all you can eat or the actual ballpark expansions themselves

no "other" option but if theres something i missed PLEASE tell me in the tags. these are the sorts of things that really made blaseball blaseball for me yknow

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hiiii!! I love your writing for the batboys!

So my request is Jason and Dick with a s/o and their like cuddling exchanging kisses relaxing and one of their brothers get them for a mission and see their brother (Jason/Dick) with their s/o for the first time. (Maybe the other batboy didn't know Jason/Dick had a girlfriend)

Okieee! Have a great day!

Dick

Cuddled himself into your side, burying his head into your neck, on the verge of falling asleep but not quite there yet as he hummed whenever you ran your fingers through his hair.

‘You like it when I run my fingers through your hair, you might as well be purring.’ You told him while giggling as he tightened his grip on your waist when he felt you shift slightly beneath him. ‘You’d like that wouldn’t you.’ Dick said sluggishly as he pushed his head further into your hand, impatient as he waited for you to continue running your fingers through his hair whenever you stopped briefly.

‘I would but you already act more than enough like a puppy regardless. I guess what they say about dogs and owners looking alike is more true in your case but instead of looks it’s personality.’ You said as you gently tugged his hair, causing him to groan as he then retaliated by deliberately kissing under your jaw and down your neck slowly as he could.

‘You think you’re funny don’t you?’ Dick asks against your neck.

‘I think I’m hilarious when you’re concerned dickbird.’ You gasped when you felt him nibble on your skin, ‘but you love me for it really.’ You added as he raised his head to look at you with a cute little pout across his tired face. You hated how exhausted he looked and so you had decided earlier that day that he was scheduled for some much needed rest, even going so far as to drag him to bed when he was too stubborn to leave a case for a measly five minutes just to eat food.

‘I do, love you I mean.’ Dick said softly as he raised his head to kiss your lips as you hummed happily against him, just as the door to his room swung open.

‘Alright dickhead, time to-‘ Jason looked up to see that he had clearly instructed something and instead of leaving he decided to stand in the doorway awkwardly as he cleared his throat.

‘I didn’t know you had company in here.’ Jason then said.

‘What do you think I normally do?’ Dick asked his younger brother as he shrugged his shoulders.

‘Piss us about usually.’ Jason replied almost casually that you couldn’t help but chuckle at the sibling spat. ‘Now I’m sorry to cut your lovers embrace short but we need to go, preferably now because I don’t know how much longer Tim and Damian can remain together in awkward silence.’ Dick sighed and kissed your cheek as he begun to pull himself away from you begrudgingly.

‘Sorry peanut, I promise you I’ll cuddle you as soon as I get home.’ Dick said when he saw you pout, hand tugging at his shirt which only made him want to say fuck it and stay in your arms, but he knew he couldn’t leave Jason alone to deal with Damian and Tim the entire night without them unironically pissing the other off somehow. ‘For now I’ve got some siblings to keep away from killing each other, so keep the bed warm for me yeah?.’ He adds as he cups your face and kisses you on the lips, nose and forehead.

‘It’ll be cosy and warm when you come home, that and probably smelling of dog too.’ You said as you kissed the space between his brows, cussing dick to smile and relax beneath your lips, he didn’t want to leave, he really didn’t but he knew that when he did come back it’ll be all the more worth while.

‘That’s fine by me, sweetheart.’ Dick replied, completely ignoring Jason who was wondering how the fuck you managed to deal with his brother for as long as you have.

Jason had you cosied up to his side as he continued to read a book he has been meaning to catch up on for a long while but couldn’t in due to the random spikes in crime as of late.

Which unfortunately meant that quality time between yourself and Jason was short lived. So when you were finally able to have Jason by your side for longer then an a few brief moments, you were bound to leap at the opportunity to cling onto him and smother him in kisses, much like you were doing now across his jawline and down his neck.

‘Miss me that much chipmunk?’ Jason asked with a smile as he paused his reading to rear his head back, allowing you further access to his neck, smiling to himself as he felt your lips caress his skin pleasantly. Jason was very much in need for affection after going without it for far longer then he might’ve liked, especially when most days it seemed as though your affection was all that helped Jason in getting through the day; and being deprived of such was a different kind of torture for Jason when he had finally gotten accustomed to it since the start of your relationship.

‘I did,’ you admitted, kissing his pulse on his neck before pulling away to smile up at him, ‘but with how tightly your holding my waist, I’d say you’ve missed me just as much jaybird.’ You added cheekily as you gestured down to the hand that was gripping your waist almost protectively with a playful glint in your eyes.

Jason scoffed as he then tugged you closer to him, making sure to rest his forehead against your own as he spoke, ‘I did miss you chipmunk, I’m not ashamed to admit it because most days it seemed as though you were the only thing keeping me going most of the time.’ He smiles sweetly at you as he kissed your forehead, you closed your eyes and leant into his touch happily, finding bliss at long last.

Only for the door to Jason’s room to burst open. ‘Jason! Are you ready yet Damian’s- oh.’ Dick stoped mid sentence when he noticed you cuddling up to his brother’s side.

You and Jason looked at Dick, who seemed frozen on the spot with his sudden stillness and unblinking eyes, before looking at each other.

‘Is he…okay?’ You whispered to Jason, concerned.

‘He’s fine. Dick’s just being…well a dick.’ Jason replied as he picked up a pillow and threw it in Dick’s direction, ‘Paging dr dickhead.’ He adds as the pillow hit dick square in the face as you slapped Jason on the bicep. ‘Be nice to your friend? Brother? I don’t know-‘

‘I didn’t know you had a significant other Jason!’ Dick exclaimed, completely forgetting what he was doing there in the first place as he smiled widely at you both.

‘And there’s a good reason for that.’ Jason growled as his hand on your waist tightened.

‘So they’re the reason you didn’t want to come out on patrol tonight?’ Dick continued as he made himself comfortable on the edge of Jason’s bed. ‘Who knew my little bro Jay jay was in love.’ He teased and he tried to pinch Jason’s cheeks, only for Jason to smack it away with a grunt, dick shrugs as he played on his stomach and kicked his legs. ‘So tell me how you met, leave no detail out of it.’

Needless to say dick has to be dragged out of the room by the scruff of his neck by an agitated Jason as he dropped him off with Damian, who was sharping his sword, and said ‘he’s your problem now.’ And went back to his room to you to cuddle.

[calliesmemes]

ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED QUOTES FROM TUMBLR TEXTPOSTS, X (formerly known as twitter) POSTS, TIKTOK, MEMES, AND OTHER SOURCES AROUND THE INTERNET

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Currently considering becoming a bother and a nuisance, maybe even a menace or a rascal. ”

“   Hungry? Eat the government. ”

“   Yes, I wanna fuck after every argument. ”

“   Silence, you uneducated peanut! ”

“  They should invent a being alive that isn’t so difficult. ”

“   Women have to think I’m hot or none of this matters. ”

“   Due to personal reasons I will be named an enemy of the state. ”

“   Being overdressed is a myth made up by people who didn’t want you to have fun and be sexy. ”

“   What even are daddy issues? Just traumatize your father back. ”

“   I LOVE complaining! You can’t take that away from me! ”

“   I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you. ”

“   I’m simultaneously ‘I’m tired of this grandpa’ and ‘that’s too damn bad!’ ”

“   The word ew coming out of a pretty girl’s mouth holds so much power … I think that it can tear apart nations. ”

“   Someone made fun of my shoes and the whole time I just thought of ways to push them out the window. ”

“   If you’re short, simply get taller. ”

“   I better think twice? Buddy I don’t even think once. ”

“   My off putting looks, awkward demeanor, and strange behavior have captivated you. ”

“   There’s something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. Can we kiss? ”

“   You are a fool. When you walk, clown music plays. ”

“   I mean yeah he’s evil and all but what if I were his favorite? ”

“   I really do hate thinking. ”

“   In my defense, I simply do not vibe with the law. ”

“   I’ve done nothing wrong. Except all the atrocities. Besides that, I’m innocent. ”

“   Sorry I couldn’t hear you over my internal monologue. ”

“   Of course you have white hair and trauma. ”

“   So apparently the bad vibes I’ve been feeling are actually ‘severe psychological distress’. ”

“   Stop calling me a bad person just because I’m orchestrating your downfall! ”

“   The more lip gloss I collect the longer I live. ”

“   Sorry that I am obsessed with you in the unhealthiest way possible. As if it's my fault ”

“   The multiple failed assassination attempts against me have helped build both character and self esteem. ”

“   I could be your loser boyfriend. Do you ever think about that? ”

“   Accidentally went and got myself killed yesterday, but god wont let me die so I’m back ”

“   What do you mean napping isn't a good coping mechanism? What do you mean my problems are still here? ”

“   Academic validation is required for my sanity. ”

“   RIP to everyone killed by the gods for hubris but I’m different and better. Maybe even better than the gods. ”

“   Researching the stages of grief to see if I can get them finished in ten minutes tops. ”

“   My parents were like I’m gonna make a child that is so beyond help. ”

“   It’s not easy to admit when you’re wrong, and that’s why I won’t do it. ”

“   Why can’t this family ever have a funky good time? ”

“   How do I show people that I’m more than my unethical career choice? ”

“   I fucked my way into this mess, and I’ll fuck my way out. ”

“   You look so biteable today. ”

“   Why am I suffering? I have so many correct opinions and takes. ”

“   I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST THAT I CANNOT GO BACK TO! anyways ”

“   Challenging authority, angering gods. The family business. ”

“   Third base is me telling you about my father. ”

“   Hey girl. Plagued by terrifying visions? ”

“   Got caught giving a fuck. Embarrassing. ”

“   I didn’t ‘miss’ the red flags; I saw them and thought that they looked sexy. ”

“   Do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot? ”

“   I get my news from the only reliable source, cryptic symbolism in my dreams. ”

“   Another day of being a bisexual disaster. ”

“   I’m going to let myself be a little unhinged today, as a treat. ”

“   Some of you act like murder is such a big deal. ”

“   You wanna hunt me for sport so bad that it makes you look stupid. ”

“   You’re not a girlboss unless you’ve killed someone. ”

“   It’s so weird how no one ever has correct opinions about things except for me. ”

“   Hello, my love — I mean, my rival ”

“   No one is calling me baby and it’s outrageous I can’t believe it. ”

“   No talking stage. Mutual obsession and you see god in my eyes or nothing. ”

“   I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOOKUP CULTURE DIE IN MY ARMS ”

“   Yes baby your emotional walls are high and impenetrable can we kiss now? ”

“   Affection is disgusting. Drown me in it. ”

“   I am gatekeeping my respect from you. ”

“   Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions. ”

“   I am equal parts fuck around and find out and please don’t yell at me I’ll cry. ”

“   Short legs, big butt. I’m a corgi. ”

“   Fuck being the bigger person; I’m going to start biting people. ”

“   Well that wasn’t very slay of you! ”

“   May I please get a crumb of affection? ”

“   I crave power! Please don’t yell, though; I’m sensitive. ”

“   You call it a near death experience; I call it a vibe check from God. ”

“   Here are some scissors. Now cut it out. ”

“   Might commit a little tomfoolery, maybe even some shenanigans. ”

“   All these flavors, and you choose to be salty. ”

“   How can I live, laugh, love in these conditions? ”

“   What if I said ‘to be honest’ but then lied? ”

“   I'm financially at a stage where I understand why people do fraud. ”

“   Yes I may be evil and morally corrupt, but I’m also incredibly beautiful and I think that makes up for it honestly. ”

“   Debates are stupid. Why would I want to sit down and argue with someone blatantly dumber than me? ”

“   I forget but I do NOT forgive.. I'm just walking around hating bitches can't remember why ”

“   Ding dong your opinion is wrong! ”

“   I’m coming for your kneecaps. ”

“   You dropped your nose you fucking clown. ”

“   Are you a fire alarm? ‘Cause you are really fucking loud and annoying. ”

“   Call me an escalator, because I let people down. ”

“   I love me a good lesbian scandal! ”

“   If you can’t run away from your problems, you’re not running fast enough. ”

“   Everything I want to do is illegal. ”

“   Don’t make me hit your ankle with my Barbie scooter! ”

“   I tell gay jokes because I am a gay joke. ”

“   Fuck! I dropped my mental stability! ”

[isa-loves-you]

♡Michael Schmidt has a crush♡

You were a sophomore in college, even though you live in an apartment off campus you still visited your mom almost everyday to check on her and to eat.

One night while you were visiting your mom she brought up the people who lived a couple of houses down "the young man knocked on my door this morning, asking if I would or If i knew someone who can babysit his sister at night". The reason why she brought this up is because you were looking for a job, with being a college student you needed the money and nights were perfect since you only have three classes a week. "He's a cutie, he would be perfect for you" you mom called out as she walked into the other room "cute doesn't matter I just need a job".

It's been almost a month since you started watching abby. She was the best kid you have ever babysat for, and she loved you which made your job so much easier.

"Hey y/n, can I ask you a question" "what is it abs" you stopped coloring to look at her. "Will you marry Mike, so you can live here and I can see you everyday"

You were a bit taken back by the question, how did she know that you liked mike?. "I'm really flattered that you want to see me everyday, but I don't think your brother likes me like that" you flashed her a smile to ease the tension but she just shrugged her shoulders and went back to drawing.

Ever since you started watching abby you found yourself infatuated with Mike. He wasn't a very open person but for some reason mike would open up to you, your mom was right he was a cutie.

It was almost midnight until you heard keys jingle and the front door unlock. Mike threw his keys on the small table by the door before looking for you. "Hey I made peanut butter stir fry, do you want me to make you a plate" you asked while already making a B-line to the kitchen."oh no it's okay, I can get it myself you already do almost everything here" you turned to Mike grabbing his arm and pulling him to the table "oh please making a plate is not going to hurt me, now please sit down".

Mike sat down and watched you shuffle around the kitchen to make him some to eat. Mike would never admit to himself but he liked having you around, he loved that abby adored you, sometimes he thimks she likes you more than him. He really wouldn't know what he would do without you, you now became his reason to get up everyday, too look nice, and too be happy.

After mike ate he walked you to your car while talking to you "I get my paycheck tomorrow so would it be okay if you stopped by after class to pick it up?" "Yeah no problem I'll stop by around 6". You stod there justing looking into his eyes, even though Michael's face told a story of a hard life, his eyes showed compassion. You would be a fool to not fall in love with him.

Once you left, Mike got ready for bed. He took the pills he always takes, replayed the tape he always plays, and looked at the Nebraska poster he always falls asleep looking at, but something was different. You were the only thing he could think about before the sleeping pills kicked in.

His dream started out like it always does, his mom spills her coke and tells him to keep track of Garrett. As soon as he sees Garrett in the back of a strangers Cadillac he takes Chace after it. No matter how hard he runs, he can never catche up with the mysterious car.

Mike stops to put his hands on his knees and catches his breath. Giggling. He hears Giggling.

Mike looks back up to now see a field of grass. This wasn't his dream, this is different from his normal nightmares. There in the field stood a happy abby, laughing holding hands with a happier y/n. Mike feels his heart pick up speed.

"Mike!" Abby ran towards her big brother with open arms. Mike catches his sister while y/n walked twords the two of them. He flashes a smile in y/n's direction "I've missed you mike", you kiss his cheak and hug the siblings tight . If he didn't known that this was a dream he would have thought that he died and went to heaven.

"Mike Wake up, I'm hungry". Abby jumps up and down on her brothers bed until she hears him grown,"okay okay abby give me a minute". He stands up and makes his way to the bathroom while abby returns back to the living room where she watches her cartoons and color.

Once mike sets abbys plate in front of her she immediately digs in. "Abby would you be okay if I started to date someone?", the young girl replies without even thinking about it "only if its y/n, she likes you". Mike looked at his sister shocked "well who else would it be, because I like her too" he says trying to play it like he knew this whole time.

It was almost 8 when you entered the house and abby ran up to give you a hug. "Hey hun I'm sorry my class ran later, I tried to call but no one answered" Mike came out of abbys bedroom with a relieved yet anxious look on his face. "Abby go to your room, I need to talk to y/n about grown up stuff" she looks at you with big eye to try to get you to let her stay "it will only take one minute, I'll come in there to say goodnight before I go".

Abby walked to her room with a sad and betrayed face. "Um here's you're payment, you'll be here tomorrow right" "Yeah, couldn't miss it for the world.".There it was, your smile. Oh how he couldn't wait any longer once he seen your million dollar smile.

"I know this might be sudden and very out of line, but could we maybe go out sometime"

You were surprised. "Yeah that sounds great, I would love to" you were stumbling over your words a little bit from being flustered. You two stood there with awkward smiles on your face, if you weren't in his house you would have been screaming from happiness.

"I better go say goodnight to abby before I go it's getting late" you stepped closer to Mike to get to the bedroom. "Y/n '' before you could respond to him, he placed his hand on the back of your ear and placed his lips upon yours.

It felt like a thousand minutes passed by in those five seconds, and you didn't want it to end. It wouldn't have ended if a certain someone spoke up.

"Yay I was right, y/n does like you mike!"

[howtotwirlaknife22]

Hesh dating headcannons (NSFW & SFW)

Hesh is one of the best guys you could possibly ask for as a boyfriend let be real.

He’s respectful, he’s smart, and he even knows how to crack a joke or two that has you gasping for air laughing.

He knows how to get crafty and build things. You need a new bookshelf because the one you have doesn’t hold all of your books? Don’t worry, he’s already on it. You have a picture you need framed? He’s building you a custom one with a cute message written on the back of it from him.

He loves to go on dates like the movies, walks in the park, going out for dinner at a new restaurant, camping, and even things like mini golf are fun for him. He just likes to get out and do things.

He especially loves it if he can bring Riley on those dates.

Which is another thing, you should be a dog person if you’re going to make a relationship with him work. Riley is his #1 wingman and he brings him with him EVERYWHERE.

That’s actually how the two of you met.

You were eating lunch in a park, sitting on your little blanket when you heard some rustling behind you. You turned around and saw a huge German Sheppard sniffing around in your picnic basket.

At first, you were a little intimidated because you didn’t know who’s dog it was, but then you saw a man running towards you and calling out for the dog. You’d be lying if you said the man wasn’t incredibly handsome.

He apologized as he leashed the dog again, explaining to you how the dog had gotten off his leash while he went to the restroom and how he must have smelled the peanut butter in your sandwiches. The next thing you knew, you were both exchanging laughs and phone numbers.

Hesh is such a supportive boyfriend. He’s the first to tell you how proud he is of you, and he encourages you to keep chasing after your goals.

Hes also amazing at providing comfort to you. After what he’s been through, he knows how tough life can be. But he’ll never judge you for anything you’re upset about. Whether that be a sad animal video you found online, or something more serious like losing a job or failing an important college class. He’s there to give you a hug and tell you that it’s okay, that there are always other options and ways to fix it.

Do NOT let this man into a kitchen for anything that requires more than 5 ingredients. It will either end in the house almost burning down or a mess all over the entire kitchen. Boy cannot cook to save his life.

Somehow Riley got a long stripe of frosting down his tail in the process of him trying to make cupcakes for your anniversary.

Speaking of anniversaries, he doesn’t forget any of the important dates you guys have. He remembers your birthday, your anniversary, your plans for Valentine’s Day, and he even remembers your family members birthdays.

He’s definitely the type of guy to treat your father with respect and charm your mother.

“I see where ____ gets their good looks from!” When your mother laughs, he raises an eyebrow. “I actually meant him.” And he points at your father. Your mother laughed even harder and your father shook his head at you. You just rolled your eyes and smiled, knowing how much of a goof your man was.

Now onto the dirty stuff…

Hesh is a passionate lover, he takes his time with you in the bedroom and would never make you feel bad if there was something that you didn’t want to do.

The second he sees discomfort in your face he immediately stops and checks in on you. When you confirm you’re okay he kisses you on the forehead and slowly starts up again.

When he’s really in the groove of things he’ll have his hands by your sides as he’s pumping in and out of you at a steady pace, letting out grunts and huffs as his eyes take in your gorgeous body under him.

He loves to play with your breasts, rolling your nipple between his thumb and index, and sucking on the other. He sometimes bites down a little as well, cheeky bastard.

He’s a little too shy to ask you for it, but he’d love it if you sat on his face. Especially if you’re on the thicker side. Suffocate this man, please.

Speaking of, his favorite positions would be missionary, against the wall, or even lotus. He just loves to see your face, he loves to see your expression as he’s pleasuring you. He does like to tease you a little, so he imitates the faces you make just to see you get flustered. This always makes him chuckle a little.

He’s not one to be super serious in the bedroom. He’ll tease you a little just to see you blush and laugh. He sees this as a way to break down walls, make things easier to work around.

He’s not against shower sex, and you often have to fight him off of you before you get ready for work because he’s always wanting to shower with you (he almost always makes you late when he does).

He’s a pretty decent size, he’s about 6 inches long with a slight upward curve. He’s girthy as hell too. His balls are truly impressive though. They’re very full and tight, and they’re the keys to getting him off fast.

He’s hairy, but he tends to manscape pretty often. Lots on his chest, arms, and legs. He has a nice happy trail and he knows you love it, so he loves to stretch in front of you.

He’s also very strong, and he loves to flex in front of you and hold you up whenever he can.

Okie that’s all I have for today, requests are still open so lmk if you want me to write :) 💌

Edit: I didn’t add my frickin tag list 😭😭

My b ya’ll and lmk if you wanna be added to it 🙏🙏

@blacktacmopsi @forsworned @tokillamockingbird427 @milkteaarttime

[devilishchaos]

hi love, i have no clue if youre taking requests atm but im really in love with ur writings, super talented🥹 i wonder if you could write more fluff where rúben is having the pregnancy symptoms (cravings, back pain, etc) basically hes feeling your pregnancy ups and downs hehe

Sympathetic pregnancy | Rúben Dias Imagine

Rating / genre: fluff

Pairings: Reader x Rúben Dias

Summary: Rúben, an expectant father, experiences some of the same symptoms and behavior as his pregnant partner.

Warnings: none

AN: Heyy, thank you so much for the kind words and the request <3 I hope you like it! :) x

Word Count: 813 words

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

You rolled onto your back with a small groan. Nothing seems to work, you are overly tired, frustrated, in pain and hungry. You are so uncomfortable you actually want to scream. Your stomach is huge and because of that, no position in bed is comfy. Literally not even one. 

Being 38 weeks pregnant is hard, all you really want at this point is for the baby to come out already. On top of not being able to find a position to sleep in, you never slept more than an hour at a time. Tonight especially, you had been experiencing braxton-hicks contractions for most of the night, some of them bringing you to tears. You placed your hand on your stomach and could feel him kicking around. You could feel his tiny feet pushing through the skin of your stomach, giving you butterflies and a smile. There was just something so strange about feeling a baby kick within you and while it was weird - it was a beautiful part of pregnancy that you would for sure miss. But of course, right now you just wished he would stay still and go to sleep so maybe you could get some sleep as well. You winced in pain as you felt another contraction come on. 

“Rúben?” you asked softly, trying not to startle him. 

But there wasn’t a response. 

“Rúbes?” you tried again, but still nothing. 

And since your back was facing him, you had to turn around to see why he wasn’t responding. Which alone was a big task. 

You soon discovered that Rúben wasn’t in bed, his side empty and cold, which meant it had been a while since he had left. But where could have he gone? It was the middle of the night and he had early training tomorrow. So you decided to go and look for him. 

After carefully getting out of bed, you put on your fuzzy robe and opened the bedroom door. Immediately you entered the living room and you were met with darkness. You made your way to the closest light switch and 

“Ah, are you eating my favorite craving without me?” you gasped at your husband, who you caught red-handed, trying to stuff a pickle in his mouth, a jar of grape jelly and one with peanut butter opened in front of him, sitting on the kitchen counter “How could you do this to me?” 

“Princess, I-” 

“Don’t princess me now mister! Are you stealing your baby mama’s food? And why are you sitting in darkness??” 

“I’m not! I- I just..I wanted to try it and I- I couldn't stop, I guess.” 

“It’s good, huh? Make room for me.” 

You waddled your way to him, around the kitchen island, and put your hand out. He put a pickle in it, with the perfect ratio of peanut butter and jelly, because at this point he has made that for you one too many times and he knew exactly how you liked it. 

“Thank you, babe.” you said while you both continued to stuff your faces. It was just too good to pass. 

*

Rúben almost found himself in tears during the training session at THE Etihad Campus because he didn’t perform the best way he knew he could. He’s had a couple of bad days but they’ve never led him to be so hysterical, he’s a born leader after all. 

“Oi, Rúben!” Kyle called him cautiously when Rúben walked into the locker room without saying anything to anyone, his gaze hard as he threw his soaking with sweat shirt quite furiously in his locker. 

“Rúben.” he calls him again, this time in a higher tone and he makes his way towards him “Rúben, take a deep breath in, lad. Chill man.” a choked sound comes out of Rúben’s throat as he sits down on the bench and Kyle stepped back to study him better. 

“I can’t breathe. Everything hurts. I’m not sleeping like I should and I wanna go back to drink another (caffeinated drink).” Rúben breathed out fast.

“You know if you were a girl I’d tell you you’re like this because of your hormones, your period or something.” Kyle jokes.

“Great! So I’m a man and I’m just crazy?” Rúben rolls his eyes while his friend shakes his head amused “And you have a wife for longer than me, Walks?!? You should know better than to say stuff like that.” 

“It’s one of the side effects of becoming a father, I’m telling you..been there, done that..three times.” Kyle shrugs. 

“Well it sucks.” Rúben grumbles almost immediately as he crosses his arms to his chest. 

“It’s worth it, I can assure you of that.” a little smile is born on both their faces. “Hey, but let me know when your morning sickness goes away, okay?” Rúben groans while Kyle laughs, after all it’s a bit funny. 

[deathmetalunicorn1]

One Piece strawhat pirates with Anya reader from Spy x Family, I thought the interactions would be hilarious and cute

-You were bright and sparkly eyed, finding yourself in a new world, one of pirates and adventures. This is almost as cool as being a world with spies!

-You found yourself rescued by a cheerful man who just felt so warm, like a hug, after the marines had been chasing you, after you accidentally blurted out a secret that nobody was supposed to know and now they needed to shut you up.

-Luffy was so warm and kind to you, like a big brother, and when you called him big brother for the first time, he was beaming so brightly, just like the sun.

-He was pretty simple, only really thinking about food and becoming the pirate king, and protecting his crew if someone was to threaten any of them, including you.

-Zoro didn’t know what to make of you- you were so tiny and weak, but he could tell that you were smarter than you looked, as you always seemed to dodge him when he was teaching you how to use a wooden sword, reading his mind to read his moves.

-He quickly became your second big brother, and he will not hesitate to kill to protect you, which you do think is rather scary, but he was a lot like Luffy, thinking about drinking and becoming stronger, wanting to become the strongest swordsman in the world.

-Nami adored you, especially when you called her big sister, as she had never been a big sister before, as she was the little sister to Nojiko, so when you were brought into the crew, she relished the idea of being a big sister finally.

-Nami is scary at times, yelling and hitting the others, but never you, she would never hit you, only flicking your forehead when you did something reckless, but you could tell that she was a nice person, thinking about her mother, her home, her sister, and always about money for some reason.

-You loved Usopp’s stories, despite knowing that they weren’t true, as he wanted to prove himself a brave adventurer, a brave pirate, so he told stories, ones that you loved to listen to.

-Usopp taught you all about plants and taught you how to use a slingshot, something you enjoyed doing as you found it fun.

-Sanji adored being a big brother to you, always willing to dance with you and he loved when you came into the kitchen, wanting to cook with Sanji, something he treasured.

-Sanji’s mind was complex, showing his past with his family, which he tried not to think about, not wanting to think about his family, and the sad times with Zeff, whom he does miss at times.

-If he was with you, Sanji’s thoughts were about how cute you were and about what dishes you would like, but you have seen it, when he’s talking to Robin and Nami or when he sees a pretty girl. You learned why Zoro calls him Ero-Cook, but you kept that quiet.

-Chopper was easily your favorite person, you loved to cuddle and hug him and he loved your attention and affections, treating you nicely, unlike the others whom he called names, while being happy.

-You normally didn’t like doctors, as it reminded you of your own past, but you didn’t mind Chopper, mainly because he wasn’t scary, and he would have you sit in on exams before your own, showing you what he was going to do, so you don’t get scared.

-His thoughts were all over the place, his memories of the snowy land he once called home, the memories he made with the others during their time together, treats and tasty food he got to eat, and how he wanted to work hard to cure everyone!

-Robin was the only person who knew what you could do, it wasn’t that hard to figure out, as you would do things when she would think about it, like if she wanted to go and take a nap, but didn’t want to go alone, you would tug on her hand, asking her to nap with you.

-She stared hard at you when she figured it out, thinking about peanuts and your face lit up with joy, then she started to think about broccoli and your face fell, looking horrified.

-When she confirmed this, she agreed to keep it a secret, but it was amusing to see you reading the others, being able to do things or get out of doing things- you were really a smart child.

-Robin didn’t want you to read her mind, as she didn’t want you to worry, due to her childhood, which you had seen a bit, so you tried not to read her if you could avoid from doing it.

-Franky was so much fun! He taught you how to build things and how things around the ship worked and he adored you constantly asking questions as he loved explaining things to someone who would listen.

-Franky was odd- he would think about odd random things all the time, from cola, to new speedos, building things, and his memories of his mentor.

-When you first met Brook, you thought he was scary, because he was a skeleton. However, you quickly found out that he was funny, telling jokes and you loved to listen to him playing the violin.

-He was a lot like Sanji, being a pervert, except around you, he behaved around you, thinking you were adorable with all the questions you were asking him, wanting to know more about him- to see a child being so interested in him, it warmed his heart.

-You adored Jinbei- he was so cool as you had never met a fishman before, and for him to be on the crew as well, you couldn’t be happier.

-Jinbei loved to take you swimming, and you constantly asked him questions, which warmed his heart, seeing that you weren’t afraid of him in the slightest.

-Jinbei was a very wise person, most of the time, like when he would let Luffy run wild, as everyone knew not to let him do that, and he would tell you stories of his past, when he was a pirate long ago and his adventures leading up to join Luffy’s crew.

-Your crew adored you, as you always seemed to be there when they needed it most, like if they were feeling sad and needed a hug, you were there, arms open and ready, or you would just sit there, giving them an ear to talk to.

-They couldn’t understand, except for Robin, how you were easily able to figure out where things were, like if you were all looking for treasure in a marine base and nobody could find it, you always could, and if they asked, you just smiled, “Lucky guess!”

-You loved being a pirate, as you had a high bounty now too, since you knew government secrets that nobody should ever know, and you liked getting a higher bounty, as you learned that the more zeros on your bounty, the more important you are, as you really weren’t worried about danger, not with your new family protecting you.

[z0mbi3k1d]

Romanticizing life Part 4

Food ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

This is just gonna be abt healthy food swaps and things different foods can do for you, I'm not promoting Ed at all!!

Note‼️‼️

Only do these if you want to, you should enjoy your life. That means don't do food swaps all the time, treat yourself! To be honest I probably won't do any of these because I'm happy with my body and don't have too, you should be happy with yourself too!

Eating Healthy 🍓

It is important to eat healthy! It can do lots for your body, skin, and mood, I'm going to give you some healthy food swaps and tasty snacks to help!

Toxic things to get out of your head 🐇

Before I'm going to share these it's important to me that you don't use this unhealthy, stop telling yourself these things

"I need to eat healthy to loose weight"

No, you don't. All bodies are shaped different and process food differently, allergies for example. Not everyone has allergies so what makes you think everyone processes all food the same? You can still be healthy without 'looking healthy'

"I'll only eat for energy, not taste"

Man just enjoy your life 😭 I see ppl say this a lot but it doesn't make sense. Break your shell and try more foods and flavors, enjoy yourself

"I have to look like them"

Nuh uh! You're hotter 💋

Remember if you wouldn't say it to a bunny DO NOT SAY IT TO YOUR SELF‼️‼️

Food swaps 🍡

Here's some food swaps for you!

Sugary cereal ~ Oats with fruit

Ice cream ~ acai bowl

Coffee ~ matcha/Chai

Chips ~ Popcorn

White bread ~ sourdough

My personal favorite healthy foods 🧁

I'd consider myself a pretty picky eater so when it comes to healthy foods this is what I eat

I love all fruits strawberries, blueberries, bananas ect. Fruits are great bc you can do lots with them, you can make smoothies, put them in yogurt or just eat them normally

Peanut butter, okay so I'm not a huge fan but there's a lot you can do with peanut butter and you an make really healthy stuff with it

Granola, guys granola is soooo good I used to eat the bars and they had honey on them too it was so good

Honey is also good but yk

Hummus.. Lowkey feel like a nerd for saying I like it but I do. If you wanna be healthy with it you could use cucumbers!

Cucumbers>>> squash (I hate squash it's so disgusting :p)

Tuna, it has like Idk it's good for you in some ways I wasn't really listening to my father when he was talking abt it

I love nuts!! I think they're a good quick snack

I'd you don't like water get some of the flavors things, they have energy and low cal ones

Apparently dark chocolate is gold for you too sooo

Salmon is also healthy hehe >:)

Chia seeds barley taste like anything so put them in your yogurt or something

TEA TEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD

Things foods can do for you 🍮

Idk how much of this is true but I'm not gonna gatekeep just in case

Dark chocolate can

Holy crap apparently it can protect against UV rays?? 😭😭

It fights tooth decay

And it's a brain food

More brain food

Nuts

Avocados

Eggs

Chia seeds

Fruits

I'm telling you fruits are good for anything and they're sweet!!! They are perfect!!! (If you don't like fruit consider yourself an opp)

Thanks for reading!! 🩷🩷

Thanks for reading!! Have a great day, remember to eat what you want and stay happy!! I love you my sweet angels!! 🩷🩷

[sinsandsuccubus]

Pregnancy Cravings - Meet The Harlow’s

Context: Peanut butter chicken?

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 700+

Warnings: n/a

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

                                          ☽ ☾

You hated being pregnant.

Hated it.

You felt like a blimp, considering your size and how far along you were. You were roughly between six to seven months, and at this point, you really wished that the little thing would just come on out.

Maybe a premature baby was okay.

Not only did the pregnancy come with a size change, but a clothing change. No longer were you able to fit into the crop tops and items you usually wore around your shared home with Jack. As much as you wanted to wear your old clothing, Jack made it a good point that by wearing them, you’d stretch out the material, which would ultimately ruin your wardrobe once returning back to your “normal” size.

At least you hoped that’s what would happen.

Pregnancy weight was not a good look on you, in your personal opinion, although Jack found you hella attractive.

“Mamas, you look good, I swear. As a matter of fact, I take that back, you look sexy. Do I have to dick you down to prove it?”

Needless to say, Jack kept his word.

Another thing about your pregnancy that made you raise a question was your cravings.

Sure, you had heard the many stories about the different combinations, peanut butter and pickles, boiled eggs with horseradish, but peanut butter chicken?

Peanut butter chicken. The same food combination you shamed Jack for when you both started dating and he was comfortable around you.

“Come on babe, don’t knock it til you try it, it’s really good.”

“Jack, that’s utterly disgusting. I could never eat that.”

Oh, how the turn tables.

You and Jack were currently laying in bed, your head laying on his chest while he drew patterns over your pregnant belly.

“What do you want to eat mamas? It’s almost lunchtime.”

“I don’t know baby. Nothing sounds good right now.”

“Chick Fil A?”

“Nope.”

“McDonald's?”

“Not that either.”

“Popeyes?”

“Hell no.”

“That’s not what you said yesterday. You were fuckin up those chicken wings and that dry ass biscuit.”

“Your dick’s gonna be dry if you don’t shut up.” You looked up at your husband whose eyes went wide, making a motion to zipper his mouth shut and throw away the key.

“You know… I actually have a craving for something really weird.” You looked up at Jack again, who’s mouth still mocked being zippered shut.

“Ohmygod, Jack, you can speak.” You smacked his arm, laughing as he gasped for air.

“Phew, I was running out of air.”

“Yeah, you mouth breather.”

“You love me though.” He spoke, kissing you on the forehead.

“I’ll love you even more if you make me peanut butter chicken with veggies please.” You spoke, smiling up at your husband.

“I remember there was a time you thought that was gross. Going as far as to say “That’s utterly disgusting. I could never eat that.”.”

“Yeah yeah, well, now I’m pregnant out the ass. And this pregnant momma wants her peanut butter chicken with veggies.” You gave him a stern look, to which he immediately hopped up from bed and saluted you.

“Yes ma’am.” You laughed as he disappeared out of the room, shaking your head at your goofy husband. You hoped your child would take after him, especially his personality. Just not his big head.

                                          ☽ ☾

To say you were hungry was an understatement. As soon as you sat down at the table, you dug into your food, moaning at the satisfaction from your tastebuds. Jack looked at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t you say a damn word.”

“Listen, I’m just saying, you used to shame me about my peanut butter chicken, and now you’re moaning like I just blew your back-“ The words silenced from his mouth as a fork whirled past his head, his eyes turning around to eye the utensil that clattered on the floor.

“What the fuck was that?!”

“It got you to shut up, didn’t it? Now, please get me another one so I can finish this delicious meal my beautiful husband cooked for me, whose dick I’ll be sucking later.” You spoke firmly, staring directly into Jack’s eyes.

He got up immediately, moving to pick up the fork from the floor and place it in the sink, grabbing a clean utensil from the drawer.

“If I had known that my peanut butter chicken would take you this far, I would have made it a long time ago for you.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t get your hopes up. I’ll probably hate it after giving birth.”

“Dang it.”

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

rescue bots incorrect quotes teehee

Optimus: Please explain what upsexy is!

Blades: Could you rephrase that in like, two words maybe?

Boulder, wiping tears from his eyes: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it's meant to be...

Heatwave: I'm literally just going to the store.

Chase: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Bumblebee: Oh, you've been?

Chase: Once. In Monopoly.

Heatwave: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Heatwave, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Quickshadow: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here's a throwback to when Blurr ate an entire tube of lipstick.

Blurr, whining: But why would it be cherry flavored if you can't eat it!?

Boulder: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph.D?

Optimus: Is there something you would like to say, Hightide?

Hightide: Oh there are SEVERAL things I would like to say.

Heatwave, texting Chase: Any plans for tonight?

Chase: No.

Heatwave: Loser.

Boulder: Help! I'm drowning!

Optimus: Calm down. We're only in six feet of water!

Boulder: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Blades, to Blurr: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Heatwave: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Optimus: You're too young to have enemies.

Heatwave: You don't even know.

*Out grocery shopping*

Chase: *Takes a free sample twice*

Chase: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

Salvage, texting: Hi, who's this? Blades changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Blurr: What's mine?

Salvage: Dwarf.

Blurr: HE'S SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Salvage: Oh hey Blurr.

Blurr: FUCK!

Blades: I eat cheerios because they're heart healthy!

Blades: And my heart has been severely damaged. So Bumblebee if you're out there--

Blurr: I was just diagnosed with deez.

Heatwave: Good, I hope it's lethal.

Optimus: Do you cook?

Chase: I made a cake once.

Heatwave: Yeah, it was good.

Chase: Really?

Heatwave: Don't make me lie twice, Chase.

Bumblebee: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

*The rescue bots all nod unanimously*

Blades: Boulder, you look deep in thought. What's wrong?

Boulder: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it's like to lick it? Even if you've never touched it before?

Blades: I'm never asking you anything ever again.

Quickshadow: Who would you swipe right for? Blurr or Salvage?

Hightide: I would delete the app.

Heatwave: We're about to do the taser challenge. You want in?

Chase: What's the taser challenge?

Blades: We tase each other, then drink.

Chase: How do you win?

Heatwave: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

Optimus: We will discuss this later.

Hightide: Fine, I won't be listening.

Boulder: What, I can't be in a bad mood? It's like people think "Oh, Boulder is such a nice person, Boulder is so happy-go-lucky! Boulder can't be in a bad mood!" Well, you know what? Boulder CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Boulder IS be in a bad mood.

Heatwave: Thanks for not telling Optimus what happened.

Bumblebee, dumbfounded: I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Chase: Blades, you need to react when people cry.

Blades: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Quickshadow: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.

Quickshadow: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

Blades, texting: Hey.

Chase: Hey?

Blades: I can't sleep. :/

Chase: I can. Goodnight.

Heatwave: Die.

Boulder: Please don't die!

Heatwave: DIE!

Boulder: PLEASE DON'T DIE!

Blades, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?

Chase, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Boulder wants Heatwave to accept it as their child.

Quickshadow: Can you keep a secret?

Hightide: Do you know anything about my life?

Quickshadow: No, I don't. Good point.

Boulder: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!

Chase, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll just drink my sorrows away.

Blades: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

Heatwave: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.

i'll probably reblog this with more later. maybe those will include the humans as well (don't get your hopes up).

[redyarns]

resist much, obey little (ch 2)

Alastor had a noose around his neck.

There was only one person who could loosen it.

---------

Temptation had never strung Lucifer along. He was an angel of Heaven no matter what anyone else said, and he had never fallen whim to any of the sins that humans were so eager to do.

And Alastor, a demon and a sinner who had fallen even further after death, was the most forbidden fruit of all.

He was the very embodiment of blasphemy.

But by God, did Lucifer want him.

----------

Lucifer's office was attached to what was once his and Lilith's bedroom. He hadn't slept in their bed since Charlie was born, and the door was locked firmly to remind him of why he hadn't gone back in the first place. 

Still, the door was a beautiful mahogany that both he and Lilith had chosen, and seeing its intricate pattern always disturbed him greatly. As a result, and also because Charlie liked to chew through furniture if he wasn't there to supervise, the office hadn't been touched for almost a year. 

Until now, anyway. 

He fumbled as he tried to find the key in his pocket and at the same time juggle Charlie, who by now was so hyper that she kept crawling all over him, her innate magic keeping her from falling off but also allowing her to stick like glue. 

Like some fucked up version of Spider-man, really, and he bit back a curse when she crawled onto his head, slipped a little, and nearly jabbed her heel right into his eye. 

“Charlie, my love, please just stay still,” Lucifer practically begged as he had one hand to his daughter and the other digging around his locket rather desperately. If he delayed any longer then surely she would blind him. “If I could - just - hold on, baby, just two seconds - “ 

“May I?” 

Lucifer's skin threatened to crawl at the crackling of a radio's poor connection, and he glared out of the corner of his eye as Alastor stood patiently behind him with his hands outstretched. 

Why, Lucifer oughta… 

“Fine,” he grumbled, and he reached up to carefully peel his sticky daughter off of his head. He winced when she tore out a good chunk of his hair, too, her grip too tight to and tangled in the strands to do otherwise, and he was sure he had a thunderstruck expression on his face as he handed her to a waiting Alastor. 

The demon seemed far too amused for Lucifer to allow, but the asshole was also holding his daughter, so there was no actual way to blast him to smithereens without her inhaling some of the dust. That was absolutely unacceptable; what if she developed an allergy?

Good God. Imagine she developed an allergy anyway? He would have to schedule her an appointment with her pediatrician right away, and maybe he could even scare an allergist into coming along, too. 

The idea of his daughter being plagued with sneezes, or hives, or - Lord help him - swelling of the throat was enough to have the ever-present anxiety to swell deeply within his stomach and up to his lungs. 

“Quack,” Lucifer muttered to himself, trying his best to calm down as he waved his hand and his magic began to grow back the small bits of hair he had lost in Charlie’s attempts to bald him. “Quack, quack.” 

“Are you feeling well, Your Majesty?” Alastor said pleasantly, but the smile on his face told Lucifer all about his silent laughter. It was unfortunate how good the little shit was with babies, as he was holding Charlie on his hip and bouncing her lightly while she squealed in delight. “You don’t look so hale.” 

“I’m fine!” Lucifer snapped. 

Actually, he was about to collapse, he still couldn’t get rid of the thought of his Charlie possibly asphyxiating on her own vomit after eating a spoon of peanut butter, and he couldn’t find the fucking key!  

In his rage, he simply blasted the door away. 

Offensive thing. How dare it stand in his way like it did! 

He coughed when the explosion immediately brought up a cloud of dust and small bits of wooden debris. He whipped his head over his shoulder, worried pale that Charlie would inhale any of it and go into a coughing fit, but she merely blinked her big eyes up at him, looking content as Alastor smartly hovered a hand an inch in front of her face and blocked anything from entering her nose. 

“Oh my,” Alastor said mildly. “That’s the second door you’ve broken today, my liege.” 

“It’s your job to fix it, then,” Lucifer grumbled, and he stomped into the office. 

Everything was covered in at least an inch of dust. The air was thick with it, little particles floating through the low starlight drifting through the windows. The curtains were drawn from the last time he was in here, and he raised an arm to his nose, coughing lightly as he glanced around the room. 

He could only vaguely remember the reason for all the mess. There were books strewn about the floor, some with pages torn, others with bindings falling apart, but all in some form of destruction. Ink had spilled and dried on the surface of the single desk in the middle, and he twitched slightly as he realized it was because a pot of black had been overturned in his grief all those months ago. 

He hated this part of the mansion. The entire Eastern Wing was useless to him, a scar in his long line of memories, and he scrubbed at his face, trying his best to ignore the tugging of his heart. 

“Your Majesty?” 

“Quiet,” Lucifer muttered, and he let out a slow breath before he looked back up and feathers began to unfurl from his back. 

He was careful as he allowed his wings to slowly rise, all six of them so large that he was sure they blocked the entire doorway, which was what he wanted. He didn’t want Charlie to witness the evidence of his falling apart, and he allowed his Grace to gather at the very tips of his flight feathers. 

With a gentle flap, a gust of wind flowed throughout the room, splitting into miniscule breezes and carrying away any dust with it. Books floated up and began to restore themselves, their covers shiny and repaired once more as they all arranged themselves neatly in the numerous shelves. 

Lamps were righted up and turned on, scattered pages were blown away, and for a moment, he hesitated when he saw the ink stain on his desk. 

That particular shade of black had been Lilith’s favorite. He had always been more partial to gold or even red ink, but she had loved black so dark that it reminded her of the night sky in Eden. 

He turned his face away, swallowed his nausea, and when he looked back, the desk was pristine and beautiful once more. 

No stain in sight. 

He breathed in shakily and slowly retracted his wings again. The feathers itched mightily under his skin and begged to be let out again, but he ignored the sensation as he turned around and made eye contact with Alastor. 

“Come in,” Lucifer said, his voice a little lackluster as he drifted inside and gestured lazily around him. “This is my office, but I rarely use it, so don’t bother coming near this wing of the house unless I say so. This place is where I keep all my contracts, so that’s why we’re here just for today.” 

For once, Alastor said nothing. There was only a small, confused twist of his lips as he slowly followed Lucifer inside. His arms never faltered around Charlie and he didn’t pause in his steps, but it was obvious how he was looking around them, almost like he was trying to drink in every single detail and memorize it. 

“Don’t dawdle,” Lucifer tsked, and he sat behind the desk with an unceremonious plop. Normally he was a stickler for posture, but the cushion of the chair was simply too comfortable, and he sagged like a bag of potatoes as he laid his cheek on his fist and watched Alastor carefully. “You’re the only one who’s reached out to me for this job.” 

“Oh, am I?” Alastor said, a blinding grin suddenly on his face again as he gracefully sat down in the chair across from him. He placed Charlie on his knee and secured her with hands around her waist as he began to bounce her, her tiny shrieks of joy making Lucifer smile despite himself. “What wonderful news for me, then! Why you don’t have a horde of demons crawling to work for you, I don’t know!” 

“Cut the sarcasm,” Lucifer grumbled. “I’m not stupid. Despite your arrogance, I’ve been here far longer than you, sinner. You don’t have the power that you have without getting into some trouble. I don’t doubt that you can protect my princess if she was ever threatened, but here’s my question for you: why.”

Alastor’s grin sharpened, and malice curled at just the edge of his words as he said, “why what, Your Majesty? Why did I choose to wear this suit today? Or perhaps why have I decided to have a delicious breakfast of doe for this morning? Or maybe even - “ 

“Why did you come to me for this job,” Lucifer interrupted. He tapped the surface of the desk, his claws lengthening with each tap. His tail began to swing slowly behind him, and he could feel his horns sprouting from the crown of his head as he glared. “Sinners like you only want one thing; power. You have enough of it to topple most, if not all, the current overlords, but I’ve never heard of you. What’s your ploy?” 

“I don’t have any ploy - “ 

“Don’t try to deceive me, boy.”  

Alastor’s smile disappeared, and his eyes became half-hooded with quiet scrutiny as Lucifer slammed his fist onto the desk so hard that the room shook minutely around them. 

“You have my daughter in your lap,” Lucifer snarled, his hair starting to curl around him with his power and his tail lashing dangerously. “You sit in my chair, in my home, in my realm. If you want this job, and if you want to stay alive, you’ll tell me what it is you really want.” 

Alastor slowly stopped bouncing Charlie. 

She whined, smacking his hands lightly and pouting when he didn’t continue, and it was only as she began to sniffle and fuss before Alastor scooped her up and held her to his chest while he bowed his head slightly. 

“My, nothing gets past you, does it, Your Majesty?” Alastor muttered, looking contemplative as he allowed Charlie to chew on the chain of his monocle without much complaint. His red eyes pierced Lucifer’s as he scoffed and smiled again. “Very well! You drive a hard bargain, my good man, so I suppose I must tell you.”

Slowly, his free hand raised and wrapped around something in the air. He tugged once, twice, and slowly, a chain link began to appear. It was a menacing black color and one end floated up and through the ceiling, disappearing from sight. 

The other end was attached to the collar wrapped around Alastor’s neck. 

“I have a noose around my neck,” Alastor said, his grin widening cruelly with each word. Despite the splitting smile on his face, his eyes were narrowed with humiliation, and anger tinged his voice as he tugged again lightly and the chain didn’t budge. “I am a mere marionette, Your Majesty.” 

“Huh,” Lucifer said, blinking slowly. 

That was definitely not what he’d been expecting. 

“You’re powerful,” Lucifer said, eyeing the overlapping chains apprehensively. Whatever contract Alastor had signed was not normal; it was far from the golden links Lucifer saw between angels and humans, or even the red ones between humans and demons. “But you can’t break it on your own.” 

“I’m afraid not.” Alastor’s grin waned. “My contractor is a - stubborn individual. I was not meant to be a dog, Your Majesty. So I offer you this; for my utmost devotion, loyalty, and protection of your daughter, I ask that you break this infernal contract.” 

“What?” Lucifer said. His wings rustled underneath his skin, and he almost squirmed in his seat, slightly uncomfortable with the stare Alastor gave him. “Me? There’s no need. The Sins or even the Goetia can - “ 

“They cannot.” 

“They can’t?” 

“No.” 

Silence. 

“HA!” Lucifer barked with laughter, throwing his head back so suddenly that Charlie squeaked in surprise while Alastor’s brows furrowed. Lucifer practically howled with laughter, his feet even kicking slightly in his belly-aching amusement, and it took several moments of him losing his composure before he finally choked out, “you want me to break your contract? Do you know what you’re asking of me, boy?” 

The sound of high-pitched white noise was getting louder with each second, and Alastor’s smile was infuriated and raw with his anger as he said, “rest assured, I am well aware. Don’t take me for a fool.” 

“But you are one!” Lucifer wheezed. He let out one last giggle and straightened in his seat, clearing his throat and placing his chin on his criss-crossed fingers, cooing as Alastor’s magic began to make his hair bristle. “You poor, unfortunate soul. This is truly your last resort, isn’t it? To not only come to me, the King of Hell, on your knees, but to even subjugate yourself to another contract.

“How are you sure I won’t make you my dog instead?” Lucifer cackled, and small flames flickered at the edges of his lips as he overpowered Alastor’s magic easily. There was no sound of a poorly tuned radio, and the air smelled strongly of apples as he leaned closer over the desk. “How do you know I won’t make you my own little puppet, instead, huh?” 

Alastor bared his teeth, pursed his lips, and said, “because of who you are.” 

“And who am I, sinner?” 

“An angel of Heaven,” Alastor said. The words almost seemed to hurt him, like Lucifer’s holiness and Grace grazed his throat raw, and he swallowed where he sat before he patted Charlie’s back and grinned. “You would never dare deceive me. You keep your word, unlike my current master.” 

The fire extinguished itself easily within Lucifer’s chest. He blew out a breath of smoke and he slumped back in his chair, clicking his tongue as he crossed his legs and a piece of paper slowly floated out from a cabinet behind him. “You’re taking a very big gamble, you know.” 

“I’m well versed in winning,” Alastor said. 

“Cheeky brat,” Lucifer muttered, and he snapped his fingers, two golden quills appearing in front of them. He pointed at the paper, where words were quickly being scribbled out on the surface, before two lines appeared on the very bottom. “Sign, then, sinner. Show me your desperation.” 

Alastor hesitated for only a split second. His claws grabbed one of the quills, and with a flourish that tinged with humiliation, he signed the line labeled for the contractee. The ink blew bright gold on the contract, and the demon’s ever-present smile transformed into a grim snarl when slowly, a golden collar clasped itself around his neck, just above the gruesome black one. 

With gentle clinks, golden chains began to link up together, connecting with his new collar and the line stopping halfway above the desk. 

“Well, then,” Lucifer said, taking the other quill and signing on the line labeled for the contractor. It shined a near blinding light among the paper, and the contract burst into sparks of stars, signifying its completion. 

He raised a hand and watched as the rest of the chain built itself, laying its end obediently into his palm, wrapping around his fingers and warm on his skin. 

He smiled at Alastor, who could merely stare back with a grimace, and Lucifer laughed. 

“Welcome to your new contract, dog.”  

It wasn’t hard to set up the mansion to welcome its new resident. Lucifer had already moved to the west wing to be closer to Charlie and avoid the east, and just that wing alone had at least a dozen bedrooms. 

“You’ll be here,” Lucifer said, holding Charlie in one arm and gesturing to a door with the other. “It’s the master suite of this part of the house. There’s a door inside that connects directly to the nursery. It’s your job to periodically check on her, and if she fusses and I can’t do it, you have to take care of her.” 

“Very well,” Alastor said. 

The demon seemed more or less accepting of his new situation, though Lucifer thought perhaps he was simply resigned. The sinner hardly seemed like the type to go around with a woe-is-me attitude, and he even wrote down notes on a yellow pad with a pen. 

Weirdo. 

“If I need to alert you of an emergency, how may I find you in this twisty abode of yours?” Alastor said, looking rather pleased, as if he hadn’t just called Lucifer’s house ugly. 

“I’ll be in the nursery,” Lucifer said with a tone that meant duh. “Where else would you expect me to be?” 

“You sleep with the princess?” Alastor said, his brows arching lightly in genuine surprise. 

“Of course I do.” 

“That is quite the decision, Your Majesty.” 

“The fu - heck is that supposed to mean?” 

“Sleeping with your child is not a good practice.” 

“What? Why!” 

“To begin, it seems like your anxiety stops you from sleeping at all due to how she most likely tosses and turns at night,” Alastor said, fixing his monocle with a twist of his fingers and smiling at Charlie when she babbled. “She is meant to do so, Your Majesty. Babies are not still creatures. Furthermore, because of your anxiety, you most likely disturb her sleep more than help her since you check her frequently for problems that are not there.” 

“Are you calling me insecure?” Lucifer cried out incredulously. 

“Not at all!” Liar. “I am simply saying that there are ways to improve both her and your sleep schedules.” 

“I do not need more sleep! I’m not a child! And she sleeps totally fine!” 

“Hmm,” Alastor hummed. He snapped his fingers and a tall mirror materialized, floating over to Lucifer and stopping just in front of him. “Perhaps it is time to reevaluate, my liege.” 

Lucifer glared at his reflection. 

His hair, normally styled and coiffed, was uncombed and greasy. He had bags so dark that it looked like he had black eyes on both sides of his face, and his shirt was covered in various stains from spit-ups. 

He frowned and then lifted the collar of his shirt to sniff, grimacing when the vague scent of baby vomit as well as old milk wafted into his nose. 

“I get it, I get it,” Lucifer growled, dismissing the mirror with a flick of his wrist. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to dispel the headache that threatened to form behind his eyes, and he said, “but you can’t just kick me out of the nursery. What if she needs me?” 

“Is that not why we made the contract, my liege?” Alastor said. He waltzed closer to the door of his room and patted the knob. “I believe it would serve you well if you slept here, instead. The door to her nursery will provide you with comfort, but it will also provide enough of a barrier to guarantee a smoother night.” 

“What?” Lucifer said dumbly. 

Maybe he was just tired, or maybe it was because Charlie was chewing on his shoulder again, but he felt like cotton had been stuffed into his brain as he squinted, tilted his head, and said, “you want me to sleep with you?” 

A pause. 

Alastor’s teeth gaped apart slightly, just enough that a hint of his tongue poked out, and he blinked once, twice, before he spoke, this time without a hint of any radio in his voice. “I… don’t believe that was my suggestion.” 

“Good God, man, I’m not saying we should have - “ Lucifer glanced down at Charlie, who was chewing on her fist, and he glared at Alastor, cupping her head to block her ears as he hissed, “marital relations. Where the Hell are you going to sleep if I’m in there?” 

“There are dozens of rooms in this wing, I am sure that I will - “ 

“I want you near me and her,” Lucifer snapped. Charlie whimpered a little at his tone and he rubbed his cheek on the top of her head, shushing her while bouncing slightly. When he spoke again, his voice was much softer, and he murmured, “I just - I need you. Here. You’re right, okay? I can’t sleep or do anything or even breathe thinking that she might get hurt. I need you with me. I need you.” 

The last three words were uttered without much thought. He honestly hadn’t meant to say them, but they were the truth, and he was sure he looked pathetic as he tried to soothe a baby who refused to be soothed. 

“Alright.” 

“Huh?” Lucifer looked up. 

“If that is what you wish, then I will provide,” Alastor said simply. He wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t seem angry, either, and he merely held out his arms, a silent question in the way his fingers flexed outwards. “Our contract states many things, Your Majesty. One of them is that I will always protect you and your daughter.” 

“You don’t need to protect me,” Lucifer said, handing his daughter to the sinner and watching as he took her carefully. 

“Perhaps,” Alastor said. He rocked back and forth, Charlie almost immediately latching onto his arm and sucking a wet spot into his sleeve. A handkerchief floated into existence and dabbed the drool on the corners of her lips away. “But I am here, nonetheless.” 

“Yes,” Lucifer said. 

His hand tightened around an invisible golden chain. 

“You are.” 

[bathomet-writes]

bursting at the seams

summary: When Raph reveals that he's been wanting a super exclusive, super expensive plush, it's up to you to go on a journey to a not so distant land of horrors to retrieve it for him...New Jersey. Contending with secret crushes and unspoken feelings should be a cakewalk.

relationship: Raph x GN!reader

warnings: romantic, fluff, humor, love confessions, allergic reaction and epipen/needle use (raph eats a peanut..he’s fine tho), sfw

word count: 4,785

author's note: it took a hot sec but here’s the gift fic for @/casualjagodek!! thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to write this adorable fic, i hope u all enjoy!

“That’s it?” You squint your eyes.

Raph looks at his phone screen then back to you. “Is the brightness too low or somethin?”

You breathe out a chuckle. “It’s just that I didn’t know you were getting all worked up over…that.”

It was some kind of stuffed animal of indeterminable origin. It had the head of a cow and the ears of a rabbit. Unconventional, but cute.

You knew Raph had a large collection of stuffed animals. Some from childhood, some he bought only months ago. Recently, he had been subtly dropping clues about how excited he was about something. He’d frantically check emails and ask you what the date was occasionally. Asking him about it outright just made him retreat back into secrecy.

Just last week, you caught him on your way out of the lair. The two of you passed each other in a particularly narrow subway tunnel. You stared expectantly at him while his eyes were glued squarely on his phone screen. You’d never seen Raph this…distracted? Whether he liked it or not, you paid attention to stuff like this. He was your best friend, acting cagey and suspicious for no reason.

You try clearing your throat and kicking at a random piece of trash on the ground to rouse his attention. “Texting someone hot?” You joke.

“Yeah.” Raph responds nonchalantly before blinking his eyes down to you. “Wai— No! No, I wasn’t—“

With a quick wave, you turn to head out again. “See ya.”

You figured even Raph kept a secret or two of his own, so you didn’t pry after that. Living with four brothers and Splinter, you’re sure he never got to have much of a private life.

When he finally (inevitably) let you in on the secret thing he’s been obsessing over, you tried to go in with an open mind. It could have been anything, so the potential of Raph confessing that he had been texting someone hot was miniscule. Maybe they were only sort-of attractive, or better yet, less attractive than you.

You didn’t know why, but the possibility of this hot mystery person existing just didn’t sit right with you.

“Let me see—“

Grabbing his phone from him, you scroll through the webpage. The image of a strange stuffed animal made you mildly more interested. The quality was actually really good, as far as stuffed animals go.

“What is it?”

“It’s, y’know…” Raph hums to himself, trying his best to cover up his embarrassment. “I just thought it was cute.”

“Huginn and Muninn.”

Your eyes widen as you scroll to the top of the page. The logo proudly displayed little gargoyle mascots that you knew you recognized from somewhere. Excitement replaces the jealousy that was festering in your mind just a few seconds earlier.

“Yeah! They started their own company a couple of years ago. I didn’t think they were still around either.” He shrugs.

“That’s crazy!” You hand the phone back to Raph and ramble on enthusiastically. “Well, now I see why you were so nervous. It’s expensive as hell.”

Without thinking, you grab at Raph’s wrist and use your other hand to zoom in on the plush. Once Raph got to the third digit, his heart dropped into his stomach. You were right. Even for his budget, it was steep. Raph didn’t like to splurge too often on himself, but this was a rare exception.

“You’re right, it is crazy,” he chuckles. Your grip on his wrist was also starting to dampen his spirit.

Not because he didn’t like you holding his wrist, or his phone, or his hand for that matter. He actually liked it a lot.

Which was the real problem.

Raph has been massively infatuated with you for months. He lost track of just how long it had been. Whenever he was around you, he felt off. Usually it just involved a lot of fumbling over words, being generally clumsier. He knew he wasn’t as confident as Leo, or smooth like Donnie, or even as honest as Mikey. He was just him.

While Raph anguished internally, you were practically none the wiser. You don’t seem to notice how sweaty and flustered he was all of the sudden, but you go back to innocently staring at him.

You raise your eyebrows. “So?”

That familiar, playful lilt in your voice makes all time stop for Raph. It really wasn’t fair— the amount of power your smile and your presence had over him.

Raph tosses his phone away into the far reaches of the lair before crossing his arms defiantly. “No, don’t try to convince me. It’s literally the most expensive one.”

As you calmly move your head to miss the flying phone, you smile to yourself. “Come on. This is what you’ve been obsessed with for months now. When was the last time you did something just for you?”

“Even if I did have the money, why would I spend it on something so impractical. I mean, I’m not embarrassed about liking stuffed animals or anything.”

While Raph continues ranting and pacing around, you’ve secretly pulled out your phone and looked up the plush. Without hesitation, you add it to your cart and type in your credit card.

“Sure,” you lazily nod. “You’re very secure in your masculinity.”

“Exactly!” Raph spins around to face you again. “I knew I made the right decision.”

“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing. Boom!” You take a confident step forward and reveal the check-out screen to him. At first he seems similarly excited, if a little confused.

“What?” His tone is light at first, before he realizes what you just did. “You didn’t.” A small frown tugs at his mouth.

“I did. Consider it an early birthday present.”

Raph winces, wringing his hands together. “Awesome! No, that’s great. Thank you.”

You purse your lips. “What happened? You were just all—“

What was the big deal? Did you accidentally offend him somehow?

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that the plush is…kinda not in New York.”

“Right. There’s this thing called mail, where people can send you stuff from all over the world.” You smirk, giving him a friendly pat on the cheek. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Didn’t you read it?” He shakes his head ruefully. “It’s pickup only.”

You glance to the side. “Oh. Well, then I’ll just grab Leo’s anime swords— I mean, Leo?”

Shit. You didn’t mean to let that slip out.

“You’ve been using Leo’s odachi to portal places again, haven’t you?”

Feeling cornered, you give a quick nod.

Silence.

You knew Raph must be giving you the most disapproving look right now. You turn around and find yourself to be correct.

“It was just to pick up food! And I am not buying a car.” You huff, trying to hide your shame.

Your shoulders tense up and relax as you give up. “Fine, I’ll just do it the old fashioned way.”

Your compromise doesn’t seem to ease Raph much. In fact, he seemed sad. You stop to watch him fall face-first into the couch. A couple pizza boxes stacked beside it topple over and fall as he lays there.

“Raph!” You frown. “It’s my treat. Is that what you’re worried about? Money?”

With his head buried deep in a pillow, he groans pathetically. “No.”

If only you knew.

Carefully, you kneel down to be eye-level with him. “If you’re worried about travel, it’s fine. I’ll just go to…” You check the email for the shop’s address. “New Jersey.”

Raph shoots up from the pillow with a seriousness that surprises you. “Absolutely not.” Grabbing your shoulders, he gives them a protective squeeze. “I wouldn’t let you do that.”

Because I like you too much.

“Then what?” You mimic Raph by placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking gently. “It’s not that big of a deal, okay?”

“Yes it is! Just—“ He moves away from your hand and sits up.

Don’t make me say it.

Okay, now you were officially worried. You quietly watch, only a little hurt that Raph pulled away from your touch.

Raph sighs, similarly ashamed at how he retreated from you. Slowly, he scooches over and silently invites you to sit beside him. You look at him, then back at your phone.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me,” he frowns. “It’s just hard to talk about this kinda stuff sometimes.”

Politely, you ease your way onto the cushion next to him. “It’s okay, I get it.”

“You do?”

You finally force yourself to meet Raph’s gaze. As you turn your head to look up, you nearly fall over at the sight of him mere inches from your face.

“Ah, yeah,” you manage to get out. Covering up your bashfulness with a half-hearted smile doesn’t make you feel any less vulnerable though. You really didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, but you want to understand.

You felt lightheaded and nauseous, like the moment right before a roller coaster plummets you into the earth at 80 miles per hour. You didn’t like roller coasters very much.

You also didn’t like it when you were so moved by Raph’s handsomeness and kindness that it rendered you speechless.

Raph searches your face as you sit dumbstruck. “I just don’t want you to go through all this trouble to get me some silly stuffed animal or anything.”

He smiles at you, but you can tell he’s still holding something back. You don’t know what it is, and you don’t know what you could say that wouldn’t ultimately embarrass the crap out of the both of you. All you can do is smile back.

“If that’s what you want.” You reel back and push yourself off of the couch. “Honest?”

Raph pauses, feeling torn. He wasn’t being honest, but now didn’t feel like the right time to crack open that emotional can of worms.

Nodding resolutely, he smiles again. “Honest.”

“So, I’ll just get a refund and we’ll pretend this whole thing never happened?” You feel a bead of sweat fall from your brow, and you pray Raph doesn’t notice.

“Perfect.” Similarly, he gets up and turns to hide the remnants of blush coloring his face. “I gotta go…punch a wall or somethin’.”

And like that, he disappears into the shadows of the lair, leaving you bereft with his departure.

“Well,” you announce to the empty room. “Good thing I’m a liar.”

How bad could Jersey be anyway?

—

It was worse.

“Next stop for Hackensack. All passengers for Hackensack.” A canny voice chimes in through the speakers. They seemed just as thrilled to be here as you did.

Like the genius you were, you decided to go over Raph’s head and book a train ride to the store. You’d used the subway plenty of times before, so slow-ass public transportation was no stranger to you.

But this…this was something else.

What was supposed to be a simple round trip turned into hours of sitting still on the tracks, waiting for other freight trains to pass by. The sweltering heat of the summer also made any sort of travel as slow as molasses. ‘Go to Jersey,’ you said, you’ll get together with Huginn and Muninn, have a few laughs.

A few passengers file down the aisle to exit the train. It takes your brain a few extra moments to register that this was also your stop. As you lean up from your spot against the window, a careless businessman bumps against your knee trying to get out with all his fuck-you suitcases and laptop bags.

You’ll have to apologize to Raph for unfortunately being right.

Oh yeah, Raph. You almost forgot why you came here in the first place. He’d been texting you about this and that today, and you usually responded to his texts immediately.

A frantic buzzing in your pocket makes your heart nearly stop. A phone call? You fumble around trying to grab it and your things as you try and get past a large family blocking the aisle.

You unlock your phone and bring it to your sweaty face. “Yello?”

“What kind of pizza do you want for later? Mikey said you just like plain cheese, but that didn’t sound right, so…” Raph’s voice is light and casual. You do your best to mimic it.

“Oh, yeah. He’s right, I’m kinda boring— AH!” A loud kid from earlier runs by you, barreling right over your left foot. It takes all your willpower not to scream directly into your speaker, but it’s no use.

“Ey, are you alright? What was that?”

After a second of quietly fighting back the manly tears, you recover. “Just…dropped my laptop on my foot. Ouch, ow.” Not your best performance, but it seems to do the trick.

“Ah.”

“Listen, I’m gonna call you back. Now’s not a good time.”

Before you realize it, the train lurches forward in earnest. A cold chill runs up your spine as you nearly trip backwards when the floor shifts again. “Fuck!”

You missed your stop, of course you did! A stern attendant ushers you back to an open seat, and you flip down defeated.

Raph’s voice cries out from your phone again. “Are you okay? Hello?”

“Would you like a complimentary snack?” The attendant’s annoying voice only frustrates you further. “We have pretzels, peanuts–”

“Thank you,” you spit, grabbing at the baggie in her hand. With one last terse smile, she finally leaves you be. You don't even care about the couple of peanuts that explode from the bag as you tear into it.

“Sorry. But actually, I’m gonna be a little late today. Y’know, busy with…” You glance around to try and find a worthy excuse. “Stuff.”

All of the sudden, Raph seemed strangely undeterred by your obvious lie. “Oh, sure. Stuff!”

“Yeah, but I should be back–”

As you turn your head back to the empty seat to the left of you, your heart nearly stops. It seems that in the time it took for you to come up with your phony excuse, Raph had just used Leo’s sword to portal himself directly beside you. On a train. The blue glow of the mystic portal illuminates your shocked expression.

“Ha! I knew it!” Raph points an accusatory finger as he ducks through to sit across from you.

“Uh– I…” Your voice stops in your throat. You wish you could say this wasn’t what it looks like. He doesn’t seem to be angry, more so just vindicated. You imagine he probably knew all along.

“Wait. You just used–”

Raph, for a brief moment, becomes sheepish. “W-Well, Leo was out doing–” He waves at the air. “Not the point. You’re out getting that plush, aren’t you? You lied.”

Raph clutches at his chest with both hands in a purposeful show of melodrama. He knew from the second you two parted ways that day. Sometimes it got a little frustrating dealing with how stubborn you could be. But then again, he was just as bad. Maybe even worse.

In all honesty, he wasn’t even mad. Mad that you lied to him, sure. But ultimately, it just made him flattered. It almost made him want to confess right then and there, but he holds his tongue.

After mulling around your answer, all you can do is shrug. “I’m…sorry?”

“Wow,” Raph smirks, leaning back against the uncomfortably tiny seat.

“What?” You blush. “You want me to apologize for getting you a gift? A gift that’s all the way over there now?” You point vaguely into the space behind Raph before burying your face in your hands. You don’t really know if it’s more from the embarrassment of getting caught or the fact that there was no denying it anymore.

You liked Raph. You liked him enough to travel to the most wretched hive of scum and villainy there was, apparently. You didn’t really mind Jersey, but at this point it was sort of a weird in-joke. You’re sure if you and Raph just took a trip out here yourselves, without all the deceit and unspoken awkwardness, you’d have fun.

Just tell him. It’s so obvious, isn't it?

“What, you mean…?” Raph turns to follow your hand, and puts all the pieces together. “Oh, Y/N. You didn’t have to–”

You interrupt. “Didn’t have to what? Buy a stupidly overpriced train ticket to get a stupidly overpriced stuffed animal? From some stupid little gargoyles? For some stupid, dumb…” You stand up suddenly, trying to get out all the pent up energy you evidently had bubbling just beneath the surface. You pace around the empty area at the back of the train for a second, ranting and babbling to yourself.

“For some stupid, dumb turtle dude. For a turtle dude!” The slight absurdity of the whole situation seems to dawn on you, and you can’t help but smile a little. The small smile widens into a grin and you start to chortle. You turn back to Raph and finally collapse back into your seat, absolutely spent from just that momentary show of emotion. Life would be so much easier if feelings didn’t get in the way, or turtle dudes. But, here you were, a pathetic, bumbling human trying their best not to make their amazing, strong, talented, funny, sweet best friend know what’s so blatantly clear.

You love him, idiot!

While you fall back down into your seat, Raph takes the opportunity to really analyze the situation from all angles. Leo was always better at this kind of stuff than him, but he needed to think carefully about this. He was usually prone to jumping headfirst into everything, for better and worse. Right now, his gut feeling was telling him the same thing as yours.

Just tell them. They went through all this trouble for you, so what’s the problem? What a loser…

Absent-mindedly, Raph picks up the bag of snacks you had and starts popping a couple into his mouth. Eating usually helped his brain slow down enough for him to focus up again.

You look up and stare out into the rapidly-changing environment outside of the train. You always liked sitting near a window whenever you traveled. To stay still while the world moved at a break-neck pace, it felt euphoric to watch the trees and buildings zoom by. It made you calm for a moment. After a charged couple of seconds, you catch your breath again. You didn’t realize you hadn’t been breathing.

“I really am sorry. I just wanted to do something nice–” You force yourself to turn your body back to Raph, and you look up in slow motion. You stare on in horror for what feels like hours as you watch him swallow a singular peanut.

Raph looks down at you curiously. It seemed like you were about to say something important. He leans down instinctually to get more eye-level with you. “What? What is it?”

He bites at the inside of his cheek, waiting for you to say what was just sitting at the tip of your tongue.

In a panic, all you can think to do is slap the bag of poison from his right hand and scream. “AAAH–!”

“Wha–?” Raph’s hand opens up. Lying on the ground, he reads the letters slowly, speaking them aloud. “Honey roasted…peanuts.”

“YOU’RE GONNA DIE! RAPH!”

“Spit it out! Throw up!” You don’t really know what you’re saying at this point. All you see is Raph and the panic in his eyes. “Stop the train!”

“S-STOP–! Choking–!” His voice comes out broken and frantic. “The pen!”

His hands move immediately to his belt, fumbling around for the epipen he’s never had to use until now. How could he be this spectacularly dumb? Not only were you probably about to pour your heart and soul out to him, he was about to do the same. In the background, a small crowd of confused employees and passengers turn to look at the weird scene unfolding at the back of the car. The same passive-aggressive attendant creeps up slowly next to you to try and de-escalate.

“Excuse me, is there a problem folks?” Her sickly, saccharine smile makes your blood boil.

Without thinking, you turn and snap back. “Yes, there’s a problem– My boyfriend’s freaking dying and you’re standing there handing out peanuts? Are you insane?!”

Raph’s eyes somehow go wider than they already were.

Glancing back down, you realize that he’s been trying and failing to communicate to you that you need to stick him with the pen. You snatch Raph’s belt clean off of his waist and riffle through all the annoying little pockets until you find it.

“Here! Here it is Raph!” You nearly cry from relief. Smiling, you grab ahold of his right hand and close his fist around the pen. “You’re not gonna die!”

Thankfully in doing so you release Raph’s neck, allowing him to speak again. “G-Great! Thank you…”

In the background, you can already hear the employees start to circle around you and Raph. You might not ever get to ride a train again after this, but you didn’t care. Fuck trains.

Raph’s hand stills, suddenly overcome with fear.

“Raph?” You frown at him.

“I’m scared.” He peeks over at you, his face twisted with shame.

“UGH! Fine!” You take the initiative and grab the pen, removing the cap with your teeth like a badass. With all your strength, which you figure you’ll probably need to fully pierce Raph’s thick, leathery skin, you reel back and stab it into his upper leg.

You close your eyes, content with having finally ended the nightmare. “Phew…”

Meanwhile, Raph waits rather impatiently. “Sometime today would be nice!”

Oh, you didn’t actually do it. “Right.”

You repeat the same motion with your hand, pulling back before jamming it in. Surely you didn’t chicken out a second time.

“Y/N!” Raph shouts, exasperated and confused.

“Goddamnit!” You grit your teeth and pull back again, looking at him tearfully. “I can’t do it! I’m a liar and a coward.”

Looking at your utterly terrified face, Raph can’t help but comfort you. Even as he feels his throat begin to tighten up, he takes his free hand to lay it over your trembling one. “No you’re not, you’re–”

“No, I am a liar. I lied to you, I’ve lied to Leo and Donnie and Mikey, I’ve lied to April and Splinter.” You try to wipe away the tears before looking back at Raph’s leg. “I lied because I was scared.”

While nobody’s come to you per se and asked you to your face, you know they knew. They all knew. Maybe you could have gotten over yourself for once and just come clean to everyone, but you knew you couldn’t. The idea of potentially ruining a friendship that’s been built for years with one awkward confession or less than charming moment, it made you absolutely terrified. You thought you would rather die than confess.

But, if all this secrecy and denial was going to literally kill him, that terrified you even more.

“Raph…” You swallow your pride and steel yourself.

To both of your surprise, the train comes to one final stop. The breaks screech to a halt, making the car lurch forward and back with incredible force. You lock eyes with Raph just as the train launches you forward, forcing your hand to push on the epipen’s plunger and jam it into his leg.

“Woah–!” Raph then catches you as you land squarely on his broad chest.

The pain of the needle didn’t even phase Raph. Though the effect of the pen took an immediate effect, his throat still felt tight. His heart was thundering in his chest, his hands felt cold and clammy. Was this still an allergic reaction?

“Sorry for the delay folks. We just have a minor…mutant medical matter to…mediate.” The canny voice of the speakers makes everyone else on the train groan in annoyance.

The two of you continue to stare at one another. Weirdly enough, neither of you feel the anxiety or weight of the unspoken words you both felt before. The feelings you both shared that forced you to stay silent, to laugh off the odd comments or blushes that threatened to expose you to each other. There was no fear anymore.

There was just you and him.

–

Raph gives one last ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ to the conductor and the ambulance people who were brought in just in case. The train dumped the two of you off at a random stop before moving on, leaving you both in the empty indoor waiting area of the train station.

You stare blankly ahead as you feel Raph sit next to you again. The bench you’re both on feels cold on your hand as you drum your fingers against it.

You guess you’re the one who needs to talk first. “So…”

“I like you,” Raph finishes.

You blink, raising your head up slowly. “I...like you.”

For a moment of silence, you each look off into the distance and melt into laughter. It’s an enormous relief to finally realize that the two of you have been harboring the exact same feelings and being afraid for the exact same reason.

But at the same time, it all seems so silly now.

“Why did we wait this long?” You chuckle, feeling the tears coming back.

Raph bumps your shoulder affectionately as he tries to fight back his own. “Why was I such a coward?”

You gather yourself and look up at him. “I can just see the obituary. Raphael Hamato, death by 1 (one) peanut.” You hold up your index finger.

Raph guffaws and breaks out into a full-belly laugh, and you can’t help but egg him on.

“I should’ve known. Only in Jersey.”

The two of you exchange a heartfelt smile as you unintentionally lean in. Raph’s concentration gets interrupted however when a couple of unexpected figures fly by outside. It looked like a weird, fat bird or something.

“What the…” Raph stands up to investigate.

As he pushes open the doors to look around, he almost trips over a mysterious bag sitting on the ground. He leans down and picks up a sticky note attached to the handle.

Here you go Red! Hope this makes up for all the times we helped Draxum try to kill you and your family. Also, how’s he doing? He won’t answer our texts, calls, or letters. Love, Huginn and Muninn <3

Raph smiles and shakes his head. “No way.”

Sure enough, inside the bag was the weird cow-rabbit plush that kicked off this whole crusade in the first place. He supposed he should be happy to finally have it.

Sneaking up behind him, you peek around Raph’s shell. “Wow, what service.”

“To be honest, I don’t really know if I want it anymore.” Raph smiles down at you warmly, putting the plush back in the bag and handing it to you.

“Oh no, don’t do that.” You grin and push the bag back to him.

“Come on, you deserve it.” He hands it back.

“You almost died from a peanut.” You push it again.

Raph’s sunny disposition doesn’t falter. “I want you to have it.”

Your eyes darken and you give the bag one final push into his stomach. “Just take the damn plush.”

Raph’s pouts bashfully before he relents. “You really are stubborn, you know?”

Smirking, you grab your bag and sling it over your shoulder. “And you’re so perfect? I sure know how to pick ‘em.”

Before reaching for his phone to text Leo, Raph watches on curiously as you change your mind and grab for the plush. “Hm?”

In an impulsive move, you hold the plush up to your face to give it a good once over. It was even cuter in person. You close your eyes and give its snout a tiny smooch before handing it back to Raph. You don’t try and hide the deep red your cheeks have turned.

Picking up on your invitation, Raph gingerly takes the plush into his hands and plants a kiss of his own on the same exact spot.

Though his heart felt full to the point of bursting at the seams, he didn’t mind the feeling. He felt bigger, more complete.

I love you too.

taglist: @saspas-corner

[devilsrecreation]

How many TLG Outlander incorrect quotes have I done? Here’s more anyway

Sumu: I know over 200 ways to kill a man

Kuumwa: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face :)

Sumu: …..201

Alternatively

Kenge: I know over 200 ways to kill a man

Sumu: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face

Kenge: …..201

Cheezi: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Cheezi and Chungu, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Goigoi: Our turn, Sumu! One, two, three- vanilla!

Sumu, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Mzingo: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Janja: Looking right because you left

Reirei: Looking up cause you let me down

Kiburi: Looking down cause you fucked up

Jasiri: What is wrong with you guys

Janja: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Cheezi: What?
Mzingo: That you're a child.
Chungu: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

Sumu: Can I be frank with you guys?

Goigoi: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Chungu: Can I still be Chungu?

Tamka: Shh, let Frank speak.

Kenge: Why are Shupavu and Njano sitting with their backs to each other?

Sumu: They had a fight.

Kenge: Then why are they holding claws?

Sumu: They get sad when they fight.

Janja: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Chungu: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Cheezi: I got distracted about halfway through.

Nne, as Tano nods: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

(Royal Mjuzi au)

Kiburi: Are we really going to let Nduli keep Mwamba?

Neema: We kept Tamka.

Jasiri: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Mzingo: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Kiburi: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Janja: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Reirei: My moral code, is that you?

Jasiri:

Jasiri: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

Tamka: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Wakali: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Neema: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Nduli: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Kiburi: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Janja: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Reirei: Janja no.

Kiburi: Mistlefoe.

Reirei: Please stop encouraging him.

Ucheshi: If you had to choose between Makuu and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Kiburi: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Makuu: Kiburi!

Ucheshi: 63 cents.

Kiburi: I'll take the money.

Makuu: KIBURI!!!

Kiburi: I trust Janja.

Reirei: You think he knows what he’s doing?

Kiburi: I wouldn't go that far.

Janja: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Reirei: Alright.

Janja: TraitorSayWhat?

Kiburi: Excuse me?

Janja: What?

Reirei:

Janja:

Janja: No wait-

Goigoi: Reirei, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Reirei: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later

Goigoi: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask one of the kids.

Chungu: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Cheezi: That would suck cuz you can’t microwave metal

Janja: Good morning to everyone except these two furbrains

Ucheshi: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.

Makuu: I almost died.

Kiburi: That... was my favorite memory.

Reirei: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Janja: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Jasiri walks in*

Janja: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Janja: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—

Jasiri: Hi.

Janja: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

Kiburi: I'm not doing too well. 
Pua: What's wrong? 
Kiburi: I have this headache that comes and goes. 
*Makuu enters the room* 
Kiburi: There it is again.

*Kenge and Sumu are planning to break in somewhere*

Sumu: We need to distract the guards.

Kenge: Right.

Sumu: What are we gonna do?

Kenge: I'm going to break their elbows while you poke their eyes.

Sumu:

Kenge:

Sumu: Deal.

Human/Zootopia-esque au: trying to use the family/Kiburi’s computer

Dogo: “Password clue: Favorite child”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, sis. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!

Kijana: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied*

OR

Tamka: “Password clue: Best friend”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, man. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!

Nduli: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied* Aw :(

The Outlanders trying to draw Jasiri:

Janja: I think I made one eye bigger than the other

Mzingo: I was going for a feeling

Reirei, with a perfect drawing: Honestly, I can’t even draw a circle

Kiburi: *shows his picture*

Janja: Okay Kiburi, you just drew yourself

Kiburi: I like me

Jasiri: Dammit, Janja!

Janja: What?! It wasn't me!

Jasiri: Sorry, force of habit.

Dammit, Mzingo!

Mzingo: Not me either.

Jasiri: Oh... Then who set the Outlands on fire?

Njano: *whistles*

Janja: We need to get through this locked door. Reirei, give me your credit card.

Reirei: Here.

Janja, pocketing it: Thanks. Kiburi, kick down the door.

*The group is getting into the car*

Janja: I’m driving.

Cheezi, out of view: Shotgun!

Chungu, turning to face Cheezi: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Cheezi: WOAH-

Cheezi, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

Fuli: What do you think Bunga will do for a distraction?

Kion: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.

*Explosions and several car alarms go off*

Kion:....Or he could do that.

Goigoi: And now it’s time for... WHAT’S. IN. TAMKA’S MOUTH?

Never try this game. Ever

Tamka: Agahhhagg

Nduli: oh oh oh! It’s those napkins from that one chicken wing place!

Tamka: Uh uh

Chungu: Oh! It’s the entire country of China!

Tamka: *spits the thing out* No! It’s a piece of dental cotton!

Cheezi: From five weeks ago?

Tamka: Uh huh!

Cheezi: And now it’s time for Janja’s poetry beat

Janja: Eh, I don’t wanna

Chungu: But it’s your thing!

Janja: No, it’s not!

Cheezi: Yeah, it is. That’s why it’s called “Janja’s”, emphasis on “Janja’s” poetry beat!

Janja: Why don’t one of you do it this time?

Chungu: You don’t like my poetry!

Janja: Sure, I do! Come on

Chungu: Okay.

I sat down on the ground today

Baobab ball I was to play

But instead of rolling north or south

How’d it end up in my mouth?

Janja: You’re right. That sucked

Chungu: Will Shakespeare my butt

Kiburi: (on one line) Hello?

Tamka (on the other line): Hey, what’s up?

Kiburi: I need a little help, can you come over?

Tamka: I can’t. I’m buying clothes

Kiburi: Alright, well hurry up and come over here

Tamka: I can’t find ‘em...

Kiburi: What do you mean you can’t find them?

Tamka: I can’t find them, there’s only soup

Kiburi: ...What do you mean “There’s only soup”

Tamka: It means there’s only soup

Kiburi:Well, then get out of the soup isle!

Tamka: Okay! You don’t have to shout at me! (walks into another isle) There’s more soup

Kiburi: What do you mean there’s more soup?!

Tamka: It means there’s just more soup

Kiburi: Go into the next isle

Tamka: (goes into the next isle) There’s still soup!

Kiburi: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!

Tamka: I’M AT SOUP!

Kiburi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE “AT SOUP”?!?!

Tamka: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP!

Kiburi: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!

Tamka: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!

Kiburi: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!

Tamka: FUCK YOU!!!!!

Kenge: I’m not worried about silly things like labels. Animals can call me whatever they want. They could even call me little…..

Kenge: NEVER CALL ME LITTLE!!!!!

(Nduli leans in towards a sleeping Tamka)

Nduli: Tamka..Tamka...Tam-zebra.

Tamka: (wakes up) Gimme the leg! I want the leg!

Makuu and Ucheshi: (staring into each other’s eyes)

Kiburi: (rips the leg off of a kill)

Makuu: We’re having a moment

Kiburi: I’m having a snack

Goigoi: The good news is I named my nickel “Phillip!”

Janja: What’s the bad news?

Goigoi: It’s a girl nickel! :D

Janja: YOU BET ME FOR A NICKEL?!

Cheezi: But it was a shiny nickel!

(Hodari saves Njano’s life)

Njano: Bro... 🥺

Hodari: Bro... 🥺

Kenge: Can you guys stop making out and go get the chimps?!

Neema: [Could I give Tamka a -2?]

Tamka: For what?

Neema: [Just for being you]

Jasiri: You assaulted a 94-year old animal!

Kenge: He sassed me

Mzingo: Ooh, you have some pie! Would you mind if I have a piece?

Janja: Uh, sure. (gives Mzingo a piece of pie)

Mzingo: Can you pass the cool hwhip?

Janja: What’d you say?

Mzingo: You can’t have a pie without cool hwhip!

J Cool hwhip?

M: Cool hwhip, yeah

J: You mean cool whip

M: Yeah, cool hwhip

J: Cool whip

M: Cool hwhip

J: Cool WHip

M: Cool hwhip

J: You’re saying it weird! Why’re you putting so much emphasis on the h?

M: What are you talking about? I’m just saying cool hwhip! You put cool hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with cool hwhip

J: Say “whip”

M: Whip

J: Now say “cool whip”

M: Cool hwhip

J: Cool WHIP

M: Cool hwhip

J: COOL WHIP

M: Cool hwhip

Janja: YOU’RE EATING FUR!

Actor AU: Deleted scene with Scar and Jasiri

Director: Action!

Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?

Jasiri: No…

Scar: Do I look. Stupid. To you?

Jasiri: *starts laughing* I’m sorry 😂😂

(Cut to next take)

Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?

Jasiri: *starts wheezing* I’m sorry! *recomposes herself* I got it. No no, just do it again. I’m fine

(Cut to next take)

Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?

Jasiri: *pointing* YES! *laughs*

Scar: This is the fifteenth take, I cannot work like this. I will be in my trailer…

Jasiri: I need a break

[starheirxero]

IF I DON'T TALK ABOUT JULY 16TH, I'M GOING TO COMBUST-

SUN LOVED THESE CHILDREN SO MUCH- HE LOVED THEM NOT UNLIKE ONE LOVES THEIR OWN- HE PARTIALLY RAISED THEM, GODDAMNIT-

HE LOVED THEM, AND HE LOST THEM, AND HE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING-

FOR THE LONGEST TIME, HE THOUGHT THEIR BLOOD COATED HIS HANDS- FOR THE LONGEST TIME, HE THOUGHT HE KILLED THE ONES HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT-

HE DIDN'T, AND HE KNOWS THAT NOW, BUT IT WON'T BRING THEM BACK- IT WON'T CHANGE THE FACT, THAT THEY THOUGHT IT WAS HIM-

IT WON'T CHANGE THE FACT, THAT HE COULDN'T PROTECT THEM, LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO-

I AM GOING TO START EATING THE FLOOR--

HE REMEMBERS THEM, EACH AND EVERY ONE-

JACKIE, JAMIE, JAMES, KIT, HUEY, HOWIE, EVELYN-

HE REMEMBERS THEIR INTERESTS AND QUIRKS- HE REMEMBERS THE LITTLE DETAILS, EVEN, AS IT'S ALL FADING-

HE KEEPS SAYING THESE NAMES LIKE A MANTRA, TO REMIND HIMSELF, NEVER TO FORGET THEM, EVEN AS MEMORIES ARE SLIPPING BY-

HE SOUNDS SO MOURNFUL-

FUCK, IM GOING TO BE SICK/POS-

The thing that really gets me is that they really sound like children- I don't know exactly how to describe it, but they sound like kids I would've known when I was little- Hell, some of them do sound like kids I knew, some of which I was even friends with!

THIS PUTS SO MUCH WEIGHT ON BLOODMOON'S ACTIONS, JESUS CHRIST-

THEY WERE CHILDREN- CHILDREN WITH FAMILIES THAT LOVED THEM, THAT MOURNED THEM-

EVELYN'S FATHER WAS MENTIONED- HE WAS A FARMER, AND SHE LOVED WEARING OVERALLS BECAUSE OF IT-

SHE WAS NEVER ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, SHE WAS OBSESSED WITH THEM INSTEAD-

MY HEART-

The one thing about Fnaf lore, that always kind of bothered me, was that the missing kids felt more like plot devices- There isn't much about them, outside of Susie, though only if you read the books- Which is fine, if they aren't meant to be the focus!

However, by making them characters, I feel like it puts so much more weight onto William's actions. It turns him into a larger threat, a monster.

Which is exactly what is happening here!

By giving them names, personalities, it feels like there is so much more weight on Bloodmoon's actions, y'know?

He robbed them of growing up. He forced their parents to bury them.

God, their parents must despise Sun! If Dazzle ever remembers, I could honestly see her dad becoming a character!

The moment, he'd see the twins, it'll be on sight!

Though, it generally makes me curious! I wonder, if Dazzle is really the only ghost kid left behind.

I wonder, if there are going to be more. There were little hints of the possibility dropped!

Some of them might not be as forgiving, which would be really interesting to see!

-Stardust

YELLS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!! LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID HERE AAUAGGHHHH

Sun has quietly carried so much love and care and guilt over these kids for years of his life, a grief that bubbled under the surface, and we never truly saw how much that weighed on him until now as he has to stomach that one of them has come back and they forgive him :(((

AND YEA THEY'RE LIKE. THEY'RE SO BELIEVABLY KIDS THAT IT MAKES MY CHEST HURT. The way Sun talked about their habits and interests didn't feel strange in any way, like how sometimes people write kids and its like. have u ever interacted with a child in ur life HDKWHD it was just. they felt really truly alive.....

AND IT ABSOLUTELY DOES ADD MORE WEIGHT TO WHAT BLOODMOON DID YEAH. AND UR POINT ABOUT CANON FNAF YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Oms I was thinking something similar the other day and I'm SO GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO PUT MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS AHDKSNKD

Like. I mentioned that harm or death of children is the quickest way to make me sniffle and wail and wail, but fnaf never really managed to make me truly sad and weepy about the kids because, like you said, they were more plot devices rather than full characters.

BUT YESYES ALSO LIKE U SAID, by fleshing out their lives and making them more solid characters, it adds so much more weight to the actions of the murderer!! Bloodmoon looked at these little humans who flocked to him because they loved Sun and he saw food, he saw easy targets, and he took advantage of that to the highest degree!!! And it's like holy shit!!!!! Whadda hell!!!!!!!! Like u said, he robbed them of growing up, he had just as little regard for their new lives as he did the rats in the theater and it's like. AUGH.

BUT ALSO YEAG OUHG if Dazzle's dad or another dead kid became characters I'd lose it /pos

It would just be a very bittersweet feeling, especially if it was Dazzle's dad, and I think I'd never emotionally recover. Tsams if you hear me HAKAHSKS

[jackhues]

can we get a lil blurb of jack and mama getting ice cream and chicken nuggets in the middle of the night?

lowkey want to know what they talk about, since they are so close, I feel like it might be a little heart to heart moment between the two of them.

3 am - peanut's world!au

"jack."

no answer.

"jackie!"

jack sniffed, turning over in bed.

"jackson rowdingus hughes!"

"i hate that name," jack groaned, shoving his face in his pillow.

mama made a face, rubbing her eight-month pregnancy belly as she tried to stop little peanut from moving. she was in new jersey with her brother jack this week, and it'd gone pretty smoothly.

she hadn't felt very sick, her feet weren't swollen, and jack was always stocked up on boiled peanuts.

her final night in jersey, and she thought she was good. but of course, her cravings had to kick in in the middle of the night.

"and i hate pregnancy cravings," mama made a face, poking her younger brother.

"ugh, what do you want?" he asked, sitting up in bed, his eyes squeezed shut.

"ice cream and chicken nuggets," mama muttered wistfully.

"who the hell eats ice cream and chicken nuggets at," jack looked at the time on his clock, "three twenty-two am?"

"peanut wants them," mama rubbed her belly, referring to the nickname jack and the boys had given her baby.

jack rubbed his eyes, throwing a sweatshirt over his head and another one over to mama. "c'mon. let's get you and peanut your weird food."

mama put jack's oversized hoodie on, grinning to herself as it now fit snugly on her. she often wore her brothers' hoodies, especially now that they weren't in michigan for most of the year, but they were quite large on her. she'd gotten the short genes.

mama stole jack's slides, humming happily to herself as she made her way to the passenger seat of jack's car. jack tried to be annoyed, but he couldn't really as mama was so happy to be getting her ice cream and chicken nuggets.

he didn't understand where mama's cravings came from, but as long as she was happy, he was happy.

twenty minutes later, the two of them were sitting at a park, enjoying the ice cream and chicken nuggets that mama had been craving. although, jack wasn't dipping his chicken nuggets in the ice cream like mama was. you couldn't pay him enough to try that.

"this is so good," mama muttered. "you want some?"

"i'm okay," jack told her.

"good, 'cause i wasn't gonna give you."

jack rolled his eyes, trying not to laugh, "that's real nice of you. considering you woke me up at three in the goddamn morning to get you your ice cream and chicken nuggets."

"i woke you up and three twenty-two," mama corrected automatically.

jack couldn't hold in his laughter, shaking his head to himself as mama grinned, dipping another chicken nugget in her ice cream.

jack sighed to himself, dropping his head on mama's shoulder as he ate another chicken nugget.

"what's going on?" mama asked, dropping her head on top of jack's.

"just thinking," jack shrugged.

"don't hurt yourself."

"rude," he flicked his older sister.

"you love me."

"unfortunately."

"what're you thinking about?" mama asked, her voice soft as she listened to her brother.

"just thinking... you know how you're pregnant?" jack continued before mama could get some sarcastic remark in, "like, i know i'm only nineteen, and way too young to have a baby, but like, is every pregnancy like this?"

"what do you mean?"

"like you know, the cravings, and the headaches, and being sick?" jack asked. "i know i wasn't there for a lot of the pregnancy, but what i've heard, what i've seen, it doesn't seem like lots of fun."

mama shrugged a little, "it depends on the person, bubba. some people have easy pregnancies, some people have really tough pregnancies. compared to most people, i've got a pretty easy pregnancy. at least, i like to think so. even though i got sick a lot at the start, and my feet hurt when i don't wear nice shoes, and i'm always craving peanuts for some reason... i've got you guys by me. some people don't have anyone. knowing you guys are here... it's a nice feeling. it makes it all a little easier."

jack hummed, pressing closer to his older sister. the two of them sat in a comfortable silence, watching the late night stars twinkle above them.

in that moment, jack didn't mind being woken up at three am.

-

tags : @woodruff-edwards , @austinbutlerscaresme ,  @svechnikovvv ,  @hockeyboysarehot , @emptyflowerpots ,  @mysticaldonkey , @lam-ila ,  @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy  ,  @kjohnson-91 , @gavinbrindley, @hischierdevils , @jackhughesily  , @panarin10 ,  @equallyshaw ,   @power2myheart  ,  @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @nowandkei , @cinnamonpancakes , @mitchymainer , @lifeofpriya ,  @marshmallow-babe, @hughesx3 ,  @emsully2002  ,  @starsandhughes , @huggy-hischier73 ,  @doglady5678 , @thatoneblog , @exonct07 @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock , @ireadthensuetheauthors , @huggy-hischier94, @slaythehousedownboots , @diary-of-jj

join my main taglist!

tags: @deviltsunoda , @hughesmedicine , @maddie-naps , @h0e4fictionalme-n , @redpool , @whenmypartysover

join peanut's world! au taglist!

[writtenicarus]

AFTG Headcanon Series [1] Andrew

hi everybody! a new series im doing which is basically complying loads of random headcanons on characters! this first part is Andrew!

part 1, part 2

Andrew's favourite colour is green. Not necessarily grass green, or even sage green, but a deep darker green. Kind of like the colour of leaves deep in the forest. The colour is calming, and he often finds himself leaning towards the colour in various different items - jumpers, mugs etc

He hates bananas. Don't ask me to expand, he just hates the texture and the peeling and the skin and the way they look bruised

Andrew has a really bad habit of picking at his cuticles and nails, it's so bad that he buys that disgusting tasting solution thing to put on his nails so he stops

When Neil becomes closer with Jean, Andrew inevitably finds himself speaking to him more as well. And when he finds out that Jean has gone through the same abuse he has, he finds himself silently relating and trusting Jean much more than before. It's both comforting and irritating.

On bad days, when they have the cats, Andrew is calmed by the light weight of Sir or King on his chest, and often strokes their fur when he can feel himself slipping away

He grows to like Katelyn. Not necessarily appreciate her or think about her when it is not 100% needed, but when he does find himself in her company, he respects her more than he ever expected to

When Nicky finally leaves for Germany permanently, Andrew Skype's him every Monday and Friday - it's hard with timezones but they make it work. Andrew will tell him how much he actually appreciates it at some point.

He has two tattoos. Medusa on his right arm, just below his shoulder, and a small '10' directly above his heart

He absolutely ADORES Chinese takeout. Literally anything from there he will just about inhale

Andrew has a habit of doodling on his hands!!!!! When he's bored in class he'll draw little random things whether it be patterns, keys or smoke. Sometimes, shamefully even, a little fox

Andrew doesn't immediately become 'fixed' when he and Neil start their relationship and nor does his recovery speed up. But the one time during his stay at Palmetto he nearly cries, is when Cass tries to approach him after his and Aaron's trial and Bee is the one to stand in her way

There are very few times Andrew is okay with being touched by someone who isn't Neil. However, Andrew can admit (at least, to himself) that occasionally when he does need it, he goes to Nicky for hugs

He loves to read!! But he has to use reading glasses. Neil squeals every time he puts them on

ANDREW. BLUSHES. EASILY.

Andrew loves crystals. It's not that he believes in anything different types are said to help with or do, but he likes reaching into his pocket and feeling their smooth weight

He also likes the way they look on bracelets and has a rose quartz one <3

Andrew in pink I'm sorry but like a pink oversized sweater that was originally Neil's? Crying.

I know it's set in a time period where it doesn't exist yet, but can you imagine Andrew with unlimited access to Disney+ ? He would adore it

Instant noodle lover

Personally I think he would hate fizzy drinks? Like any type of soda. EW no. Maybe this me projecting a little

HIS FAVOURITE FRUIT IS CHERRIES HE COULD EAT A WHOLE BOX AT A TIME

Allergic to peanuts, as is Aaron ofc

When Andrew experiences his first year pro, he also experiences his first year alone in a while. No family around to annoy and protect, no Neil to talk to. It was sad, and for a while he found himself extremely lonely. But eventually, he learns to express these feelings and Neil helps as much as he can

Never gets over his fear of flying

He smiles. Eventually.