#personal junk i guess

[techmomma]

I don’t draw as much as I used to. Some days it drives me insane. Since getting this job there’s been whole MONTHS without drawing even the sloppiest thumbnail or even just a warmup.

But I think it’s been good for me? Yeah, it still drives me insane. I have so many things to draw, all the time, forever, and it never feels like enough TIME FOR ANY OF IT. I am a visual communicator, there are so many THINGS that just don’t work in words! But they’d make sense if I drew them. Just this one idea, I gotta get this idea out of my head and it demands a visual aid. And I gotta decide between that, or this thing I’ve been wanting to draw for two weeks, or this other thing I out off for a month, or this thing, etc. etc.

But

I think it’s been finally, actually helping the burnout I staved off healing from for ages. I’d pull back but still try to make myself draw and it’d only somewhat help, temporarily, but now actually not drawing for long stretches of time, I can feel something healing. I don’t draw often and I don’t draw a lot but each time feels like more and more of a joy. I feel more excited to draw, less tired, less staring at a document like “JUST FUCKING DRAW ALREADY!” and nothing happening.

Maybe it’s been helping me get away from feeling like I owe people, personally and in-general, art. Not just in the sense of commissions but as a content creator, like if I don’t meet these invisible quotas for posting then idk everyone will hate me or stop following me or whatever. “You have to draw content like it’s your job or like it will be your job someday or you’ll never go anywhere.” Or, as has happened, people will ask “Why aren’t you making art anymore??” and I won’t have an answer. Worrying that people will think I’m NEVER DRAWING AGAIN and look on me pityingly, like I’m no longer an Artist or.... something.

brain: something bad will happen me: what brain: something bad

me: cool, great, thanks

And now that I’ve not been drawing and people HAVE asked that but it was a single instance thusfar, and there’s still people following me and enjoying my art and my characters, which is great, but even if there weren’t.... it’s been showing me it’s really not so bad. It’s okay to not draw anything for long stretches of time. Yeah, it kinda sucks, but who cares? I’m liking my drawings more on the rare chances I do get to draw, even if I don’t finish them. I’m enjoying my art more and more. Maybe I only have the spoons for a headshot but it’s spoons at all, and that’s awesome. Instead of being ONLY a headshot, it’s more like “yay, I got a chance to draw a headshot at all!” Art is feeling less of a chore that has to be done every so often because you have to, and more of a joy that I get to indulge in.

So unfortunately, it does mean that art will still probably be few and far between, in terms of here on tumblr and what I post. I’ve also started taking a joy in not posting everything I draw; sometimes it’s just for friends, sometimes it’s just for me. So you guys don’t see everything I do, even when I do draw. But I’m still here. And I’ve been feeling better about my art. Maybe one day I won’t be so tired and I can happily draw everyday for hours like I used to; or maybe it’ll still remain sparse and sporadic.

But that’s okay. Maybe I won’t get any commission deals out of drawing so sporadically, maybe I won’t get huge follower numbers. But that’s okay. I like my art. I like my circle I’ve got here. And I’m learning to not hate myself for staring at an open document and not drawing anything. I’m learning to be okay being tired.

Love you guys, still! Lots of love to people still sticking around and lots of love to people who’ve stumbled on me recently and made the flattering-if-questionable decision to follow me. You may not see much art from me but I’m still here lurking most days, and enjoying the quiet.

[jammy342]

Personal

Sometimes i make comics and concepts and i wonder. how many times has someone planned something and just didn't do it? how many times have people just said. no that's cringe. Why would i do that? or No this is better than mine. and that's what hurts to imagine. people should be free to make what they are proud of. i bring this up because again. i make really stupid webcomics but they make me happy. and that happiness outweighs the cringy feeling i have when someone tells me the story i wrote like "Oh goodness ha ha i did write that didn't i?" i guess im getting older cuz when i first wrote these comics. i was around 8th grade. and the stories were of masks and the Heartbreak of being alone. now its these wonderful stories about larger-than-life monsters trying to prove they are the best.

I dont know too long didnt read i guess? i spend most of my time working now. and it makes me happy? i guess its like a personal thing now. nowadays these comics are all i got to keep me going. cuz all i can think about is "When will the next one be done?" you think you all have to wait a while? I GOTTA PLAN EM! but ha ha guess thats the fun of making these things. its depressing that i have to work so much to give you what i Invision but non the less i believe anyone can do it. and you SHOULD do it. its not cringy, its not lame. its your baby. its your dreams its everything you could ever want. dont be afraid of what you want todo with your life. But eh what do i know? i make a webcomic for fun.

[girlivealwaysbean]

it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come

[eegasleega-will-change-this-l8r]

We see that Porky made a bunch of robot duplicates of his mom in New Pork City (and they seem a lot nicer than the real Lardna was too. Like they're Porky's "ideal" mother that gives him whatever he wants and isn't cruel to him) But we never see any similar reference to his dad in the game

I like to think he did have a robot-Aloysius made though

Like

Something he keeps around in one of his playrooms or his bedroom maybe, just a crude, beat-up (Porky returning some of his dad's favors) replica of his father that just smiles and tells him what he wants to hear, like

"I'm so proud of you, son!"

"Look what a man you've made of yourself! I'm jealous, hohoho!"

"You can stay up and play as late as you want! You always know best, m'boy!"

But also things like

"Don't worry, son! It's all my fault, haha! I'm the one to blame, ahahaha!"

"It's all my fault, you know! It's all my fault, you know! I should've been a better father, hahaha!"

"I ruined him, haha! And look what he's done! Do you think my soul is in a happy place?"

This creepy thing that twists around the real Aloysius being an unapologetically terrible father to a copy that takes all the blame for everything Porky hates about himself

It's also probably an ATM

[lorei-writes]

I will write today, she thought. I will definitely have a moment to write today, she assured herself.

And did she have one?

Pfft. Of course not.

But my files are now organised and up to date </3

[housewifebuck]

respectfully, how have you never tried Sprite before???

I grew up with an abusive and extremely controlling parent so I wasn’t allowed to eat anything but the same like 6 meals on rotation for the first 15 years of my life hope that helps🫶🏻

[dany36]

why....did the sphinx roast me like that.....??? 😭😭😭

[randomperson0k]

save me kill all your friends by mcr.... save me... my chemical romance....

another art dump because im a loooser!!

also i discovered the wonders of browsing tumblrs oc art and original characters tags. im in heaven. ive liked so many oc artworks . the dnd oc tags are probably one of my favourites to browse in because theres so much lore alongside the great artwork

LISTEN TO Abyss world ost - moss ON YOUTUBE PLS

[scentofpines]

sorry im in a hater mood today but some us americans use such an absurd amount of plastic. buying 2 slices of bread that are packaged in plastic instead of just buying one loaf that comes in a paper bag that you cut yourself? using a red platic cup to collect your biodegradable trash and throwing that away afterwards?? drinking water exclusively from 500ml single use plastic bottles???? (i mean i get if tap water isnt drinkable where you live, but then at least get large bottles or gallons of water). driving your car to buy a coffee in a single use cup at dunkin donuts every single day instead of just getting a refillable one or bringing some cup from home???? using plastic dishes at YOUR OWN FUCKING HOUSE????? talk about excess

[skrunksthatwunk]

last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong

[here-there-everyfuckenwhere]

Okay let’s settle this once and for all

Also if you’re comfortable share in tags what you voted and your own age (or roundabout)

[louderfade]

from Is deep brain stimulation a treatment option for anorexia nervosa?

[wereshrew-admirer]

remembering that the last time chine and duvall see each other in the finale is at the tunnel of love where chine asks duvall to bring them a sign that says 'abandon all (for love) hope ye enter here' and then the last dice roll that determines the end of their epilogue together is 69...

and there are people who don't think it makes sense to pair them up, smh

[cozymochi]

Yeah, you know what, i’m done. Officially. Consider today the start of my slow but sure Invader Zim purge on this blog.

I was trying to be patient, really I was. I even had a brief moment where I changed my mind and decided to do a courtesy, but after what I just had thrown my way I’m going to take MORE overt steps to get out.

I draw the line at being associated with even tangentially with discourse™️ that I never ever was involved with in the first place, nor do I want to be. While it IS true I never made shit for a certain thing nor have I ever cared about it, the fact I’m even still being roped into and having my discourse™️ stance assumed as a result is enough to make me pull the plug. What kind of freaking logic is that? Oh, congrats to you I don’t make things about [redacted], but I’m also not up for being associated with anyone involved in celebrating chronically online only problems and “wins” or whatever tf that is. Some folk have been inactive for YEARS. And y’all KEEP TRACK of that?? I just. HUH? I haven’t done anything related to IZ in a year myself, and yet—-!!

Literally don’t speak for me, don’t mention me (too late), do NOT involve me your kid bs I literally never cared about in the first place!! And the one thing I ask for has been violated. Again. Yet, this time given how sour I’ve become, that thin ice folk were walking on has finally cracked.

I just. Fuck. Y’all literally the only fandom who do this (or at least the only one i’ve seen who care SO MUCH about that stupid junk), and I want out. Purge starts now. As for how long that process will take, who knows.

Last warning about that. I know people are all up in having “warnings” or whatever. So consider this wall of text no one will read it.

[tiercel]

W/ all the reactionary talk regarding trans peoples bodies and shit i would love to see repubs and tεrves reactions to all the fascinating body modifications that exist for aesthetic and fetish purposes

[disdaidal]

I reinstalled Windows on my laptop and it feels good to start anew.

Just so I can again fill it up with unnecessary junk again and then cry myself to sleep every night lol.

I also removed lots of bloatware and I actually have a sufficient amount of space on my OS (C: drive), which is fucking great because I now can finally play the Sims 4 again. 😭