#people who will become main characters on the upcoming chapters

[justsome-di]

Now a Pulitzer Prize winning book (don’t fact check this, just trust me) and featured on Obama’s 2023 Summer Reading List!

You should be reading Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs! Why? See above.

It’s a good story if I do say so myself. And if you read it, you’re a cool kid. Don’t you want to be a cool kid? This is something called peer pressure, and it usually works.

But for real, if you read Nobody Ends Up Dead then you’re going to go on a good adventure with good characters I guarantee you will love. Not to brag, but it is a pretty good story. There’s funny one-liners, a cute plot, and relatable characters that have been developed for years. Just heed warnings at the beginning of chapters. NEUD deals with some heavy topics such as eating disorders.

NEUD is officially all online for free. But you can still access bonus chapters and short stories on Patreon for only $4.

Links: 

AO3

Wattpad

Patreon (Patrons had early access to the whole novel and also get exclusive short stories with the characters and sneak peaks for new projects!)

Netflix Previews

Characters’ Playlists

You can also check out my carrd if there are any updates to how/where I post, it’ll probably be the most accurate place to find new or updated links.

Transcript under cut:

The Story is Dope

A New York office worker and a sex worker get set up on a date--one thinking it's a real blind date, the other under the impression it's an ordinary appointment. After realizing it was all a shitty prank, they set out for revenge. Their plan: show up to an upcoming Halloween office party as a genuine couple, convincing the pranksters they genuinely fell in love and refusing to let themselves become the butt of the joke.

Our main characters are Alex, an awkward admin assistant for a medical company who hasn't been on a date since he was a teenager, and Damián, a sex worker who seems way out of Alex's league but keeps insisting on spending time with him so they can perfect their revenge scheme.

The novel features a diverse cast and explores sex positivity. I also like to believe that it portrays sex work well. Damián is a hardworking man, doing what he loves, and meeting mostly great people along the way--but he also would benefit greatly if sex work was decriminalized and therefore had better resources at his disposal.

If you're looking for a story with LGBT characters that's mostly light-hearted but still packs a punch every few chapters, this is it! Overall, it's a happy story.

The Characters!

oh boy the characters!

we got Damián who's hardworking and doting on his lil bro but oh wow does he have some angst

we got Alex who is nothing more than a burning ball of anxiety trying his best--all too relatable

Leo, Damián's bro, is an ally, and he will make sure everyone knows. Also has angst.

Eve, Alex's lil sister, is an edgy teen who's failing calc and runs a queer book club

together, they're a weird lil dysfunctional family

I'll be honest. There's a lot of love in this story. From me and among the characters. The characters love each other, and I think the readers love them, too.

It touches on a lot of loneliness--inspired by how I've felt since Covid started--and a lot of the conflicting emotions that come with being gay. What happy endings do we deserve? What about happy middles?

It's a touching book about learning to be a better person and finding people who love you--platonically and romantically.

Here are some of my fave parts:

And then there was a streak of gray hair that shocked Alex. A streak of gray hair off to the side, nestled close to a salt and pepper beard. Textured hands held cocktails. Little, subtle lines creased when mouths laughed. Alex held his breath. On the packed floor, they were the only people Alex could see. They were laughing and holding each other and enjoying themselves, firmly in the place they knew they belonged. Flashes of teeth pressed against each other, disappearing for long seconds at a time.

--

“Sorry,” Alex said. “Your arm got heavy on top of me.” “You’re a little mouse of a man. I didn’t mean to crush you.” “I’m what?”

--

“A dog!” Damián cooed as he sat across from the lesbians. “His name is Yam,” Martin said.

“His name is Yam,” Damián cried. Kris and Clara released Yam and gently nudged him to Damián. Ecstatic, Damián picked him up and set him on his lap. “His name is Yam,” he repeated to Alex. “I heard.”

--

But he couldn’t deny that he was having a good time. It was like intense yoga with the perk of having a cock shoved up his ass. He was going to feel limber as fuck after.

--

“Can I do anything?” Alex asked. “To help cheer you up?”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’d like to. If you let me.”

--

“Wow this sounds great where can I read it?”

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Updates every friday!

[starsreminisce]

I have to preface this by saying that I really don’t care who gets the next book; this is more about me trying to get my thoughts out.

A lot of people are basing their expectations for the next ACOTAR book on HOFAS, and I feel like this is another situation where, despite being told how influential ACOTAR was going to be for HOFAS, it ended up being just Nesta and Azriel on a walking museum tour with Bryce under the Court of Nightmares. Someone who had never read ACOTAR wouldn’t have missed out much on who the ACOTAR characters were. I feel like the same mistake is being made by relying too much on HOFAS for Azriel and Gwyn to take the lead in the next book.

It’s not about a character being at their lowest to prompt the next main character; it’s about a character needing to exhaust all viable options in their current circumstances before they are presented with a change that will help them.

That’s basic storytelling when starting out a book. In the first chapter, there needs to be a hook—the “why,” the Call to Action.

In ACOTAR, it was Feyre killing the wolf; in ACOMAF, it was Feyre struggling post-UTM and finding comfort in the night sky; in ACOWAR, it was Hybern coming to the Spring Court; and in ACOSF, it was Nesta’s intervention.

Even HOFAS’s first chapter started with Lidia to preview her upcoming revolt later in the book.

There are theories that Elain will see Azriel pull away from her, become more drawn to Gwyn, and that they’ll end up being mates, which would then push Elain to focus on Lucien because Azriel is now soul-bound to someone else.

The problem I have with that theory is that Elain already has a mating bond that she’s avoiding, and seeing Azriel happy with his mate isn’t going to force her to finally face her own bond. She has Nesta’s ceremony coming up to do that for her.

Azriel needs to understand why the third sister was given to someone else. He needs to see why Lucien, the male who supposedly doesn’t deserve her and in whom she had no interest, ended up with her. Why Lucien’s patience was rewarded while his own was not. Azriel needs to realize that with every mating bond, it's only a matter of time before mates inevitably come together.

It doesn’t do Elain any good to be rejected twice by Azriel and then realize there’s no one left, so she defaults to Lucien. She’s already aware of that after being rejected twice by two people who aren’t her mates, realizing she can no longer afford to ignore her true mate.

If the BC was supposed to be a “test” or lesson from the Mother about the mating bond, Elain passed because she applied what she learned from Graysen to Azriel. Azriel failed because not only did he not have an answer for Rhys about Mor, he ignored it. The Mother graded him on a curve to pass by means of Gwyn.

Rhysand also gave a vital clue when he said that Lucien would defend his bond against Azriel and how important Lucien’s survival is to maintaining the fragile peace between Autumn, Spring, and the Human Lands.

Both Lucien and Elain are now at a point where their next chapters are coming into focus. Lucien’s assignment to be permanently stationed in Spring is technically over because Feyre gave birth, and his frustration with Jurian and Vassa constantly clashing is reaching a tipping point, especially with Vassa’s time running out. Lucien has also demonstrated inherent dominance, and Beron is becoming more audacious with his alliance with Hybern to take over the Spring Court from Tamlin, who is still dealing with grief and guilt.

Elain’s last distraction from the mating bond just told her it was a mistake and left. She doesn’t need salt rubbed into that wound by having him be right about calling it a mistake. But Azriel does need to understand, through Lucien, that it doesn’t matter if Elain showed disinterest in Lucien because, in the end, Elain is still Lucien’s mate. Mor’s lack of interest in Azriel isn’t why the mating bond between them hasn’t snapped.

Azriel is the one who misunderstands the mating bond, while Elain is the one avoiding it. Elain has no reason to avoid it anymore, but Azriel still has more to learn about the mating bond.

So, with that said, even with HOFAS, Elucien now has a much higher chance of providing a compelling hook in the first chapter compared to Gwynriel.

And that starts with Nessian’s ceremony because SJM gave an oddly specific timeframe for when that would happen at the end of ACOSF, in addition to Nesta placing Elain's rose marker on Papa Archie's grave.

That’s not to say Gwynriel can’t or doesn’t happen in the next book. I’m sure Azriel will experience a wave of emotions during a ceremony (especially since Feysand did theirs in secret) and might look over at Gwyn, sparking something more between them, or this could unfold after Bryce’s first, second, or third visit.

But Elain watching the sister who was most antagonistic toward the Fae embrace the most Fae aspect of herself, pulling herself out of her downward spiral with Cassian’s help, could have a profound impact on her. Realizing that Lucien would be staying in Velaris (possibly for two weeks, as Feyre suggested in FAS) to figure out the next steps with Tamlin and Beron, especially after Nesta’s interference, sets the stage for the next book.

[theartofcollapse]

Masterlist

my requests are open, feel free to send me some :)

soft/cute imagines = ♡

angst imagines = △

smut imagines = ☆

( if smut (☆), please do NOT read unless you're 18+, thank you! <3 )

People:

Taylor Swift

Chicken Nuggets: Taylor, seeking a break from the pressures of fame, enjoys a night out at a dive bar with her best friend Selena. After a few too many drinks, Taylor's antics (including an amusing request for a "chicken nugget drink") amuse the bartender and those nearby. Y/N, a stranger sitting beside Taylor, overhears the conversation and decides to surprise her by bringing chicken nuggets from a nearby McDonald's. ♡

Jenna Ortega

Wednesday: Y/N is babysitting her cousin's 8-year-old twins, who are obsessed with the TV show Wednesday. Although she loves the kids, she becomes frustrated. When Y/N reaches her breaking point, her girlfriend, Jenna comes to the rescue. Jenna adopts her Wednesday Addams persona to intimidate the twins into behaving. ♡

Grief: Y/N's mourning the loss of her soulmate, Jenna, who was tragically killed by a drunk driver. The narrative explores the torment of navigating life without Jenna, the love of her life, her safe place, and her guiding light. △

Celia St. James is an arrogant bitch series: Jenna gets the main role in an upcoming movie, an adaptation of the book 'The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo'. She's perfect for the part, the only problem is, she hates her coworker, Y/N, who also plays her love interest, Celia St. James in the movie. △ / ♡

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5

Tinder: What started as a casual, half-serious Tinder interaction turns into a genuine love story. Just a bunch of playful messages between two Tinder matches, Y/N and Jenna, over the course of more than two years. ♡

Fletcher

Mariska Hargitay

Gracie Abrams

Characters:

Law and Order SVU

Casey Novak

World's Worst Detectives: The detectives of the Special Victims Unit are thrown for a loop when Y/N walks in wearing a massive diamond ring, casually revealing her secret five-year relationship and recent engagement to ADA Casey Novak. The revelation sends the team into a mix of disbelief, betrayal, and laughter as they struggle to process how the two managed to keep such a major secret under their noses. ♡

Swipe Right for Sarcasm: Casey Novak, the sharp-tongued ADA, dives into Tinder at the insistence of her friend, Olivia Benson. After a sea of uninspiring profiles, she matches with Y/N whose sarcasm rivals her own. What begins as a battle of wit quickly turns into a connection Casey didn’t expect, their banter leaving her both annoyed and intrigued. ♡

Her Intern: Casey finds herself navigating uncharted emotional territory when her new intern, Y/N, enters her life. Y/N's sharp intellect and enthusiasm for justice awaken feelings Casey has never experienced before. Feelings for another woman. As Casey and Y/N work together on high-stakes cases, a quiet bond forms between them, filled with late nights, meaningful conversations, and moments of shared vulnerability. Though Casey maintains her professionalism, she begins to cherish the inspiration and light Y/N brings to her life. ♡

Woman of Many Talents: When a late-night toilet malfunction leaves Y/N helpless in her office, she reluctantly seek help from ADA Casey Novak, the sharp, confident lawyer working late nearby. To Y/N's surprise, Casey agrees to assist, shedding her usual polished demeanor (along with her blazer) to tackle the plumbing issue with unexpected determination. As she takes off a few of her clothing and gets to work, her striking appearance leave you flustered and captivated. ♡

Behind the Screen: After joining an anonymous online debate forum, “Justice Anonymous,” to vent about legal injustices, Y/N finds a verbal sparring partner in the infuriatingly brilliant “AmicusCuriae.” Meanwhile, in real life, she struggles with constant clashes with their competitive and sharp-witted coworker, Casey Novak. The online debates grow into something deeper, revealing surprising compatibility between the two. ♡

Second Thoughts: After weeks of subtle flirtation and unspoken tension, Casey's fear of ruining her friendship with Y/N has kept her from taking the next step. However, seeing Y/N receive attention from someone else finally forces her to confess her feelings. ♡

Jealousy: Chester Lake, a charming and confident detective, seems to be paying a little too much attention to Y/N's girlfriend, Casey Novak. While Chester’s actions appear harmless, Y/N's irritation and possessiveness escalate, leading to some sharp exchanges throughout the day. Casey reminds Y/N of her unwavering love and passionately reaffirms her devotion, leaving no room for lingering insecurity. ♡

Legal Bindings: Initially brought together by a shared commitment to justice, Y/N's and Casey's connection blossoms into a romantic partnership filled with warmth and genuine moments. However, the inherent challenges of Casey's demanding career cast a shadow over their growing bond. ♡

Home is Where You Are: Casey comes home weighed down by a tough day at work, her frustration amplified by her SVU colleagues' lack of trust and cold hostility. You sooth her with kind words, tender care, and reassurance, helping her relax a little. ♡

Blind Spot: Casey has been unknowingly caught in a flirtatious game with her colleague, Y/N, for weeks. Y/N consistently flirts with Casey through subtle gestures but Casey remains oblivious, chalking it up to Y/N’s friendly personality. ♡

Distraction: Casey is working from home on a Sunday, but her focus wavers as her girlfriend flaunts a scandalously short mini skirt, leading to a steamy interruption at the dining table. ���

Laced Intentions: Casey finds herself in an unexpectedly intimate situation when she decides to fold laundry in Y/N's apartment while she's in the shower. Her curiosity leads her to discover Y/N's organized collection of lingerie, leaving her blushing and intrigued. When Y/N catch her red-handed, the playful tension between them escalates as Casey's professional demeanor slips, and flirtation takes over. ♡/☆(ish)

Olivia Benson

Teamwork: After a long, exhausting day, Y/N struggles to manage dinner and their agitated daughter while feeling overwhelmed. When Olivia comes home, she quickly notices Y/N’s stress and steps in to save the day by playing hide and seek with their daughter. Later, after the house quiets down, Olivia comforts Y/N, reminding her that she doesn’t have to carry everything alone. ♡

Home to Love: After a grueling week of work, Olivia returns home, utterly drained but grateful to be back with her family. Her wife, Y/N, and their five-year-old daughter, Sophie, have transformed the living room into a cozy spa night setup to help Olivia unwind. The evening is filled with laughter, love, and tender moments as Olivia is pampered and reminded of the joy and peace her family brings her. ♡

Safe: After just a few dates with Olivia Benson, Y/N finds herself in a dangerous situation when her drink is spiked at a bar. Realizing something is wrong, Y/N calls Olivia for help. Olivia arrives immediately, arrests the perpetrator with the help of Elliot, and takes Y/N home to take care for her. ♡

Femininity: Olivia struggles with feeling forced into the “masculine” role in her relationship with her ultra-feminine girlfriend, Y/N, who loves makeup, dresses, and all things girly. Olivia’s insecurities about not being “feminine enough” lead her to overcompensate by trying to conform to heteronormative expectations. Y/N notices this and reassures Olivia that being feminine isn’t about clothes or roles. Being a woman is enough. With Y/N’s encouragement, Olivia begins to embrace vulnerability and explore her own expression of femininity. ♡

Alex Cabot

Does Your Mother Know: Alex, a confident and composed professional finds herself unexpectedly intrigued when a younger, gorgeous woman boldly approaches her. Alex balances between maintaining her cool detachment and indulging her curiosity. ♡

Things We Don’t Say: As a new detective, Y/N never expected Alex Cabot to be the one who could disarm her with a glance. What started as stolen moments and quiet conversations after late nights on the job soon became something more, though neither of them dared to define it. But everything changes after one unexpected night when Y/N sees Alex with someone else. ♡

Unexpected: Alex's world is overturned completely by the arrival of a brilliant new hire. What begins as a professional curiosity soon evolves into a deeper, more complicated attraction, one that challenges Alex’s understanding of herself and her desires. ♡

Jealousy Looks Good on You: Alex left the DA’s office to dedicate her career to working full-time with domestic violence victims. In her new role, she crosses paths with Y/N, a rookie cop with a growing crush on Alex. Y/N believes Alex is straight and doesn’t dare to make a move, until Alex finds out Y/N is going on a date with someone else. ♡

Hidden Ink: After Y/N gets a new tattoo she eagerly await her wife's, Alex’s return from a long day. Once at home, Y/N makes Alex find her well hidden ink. The little game turns into something much more intimate. ♡

Untouched: Alex found herself challenged by your unwavering affection when you entered her life. Initially overwhelmed by your casual touches and playful kisses, she slowly began to let her walls down. ♡

After All These Years: Late at night, Alex shows up at Y/N's apartment after being gone for 3 years. Y/N's guards are up and she's not sure if she can ever forgive Alex for disappearing without a word, without explanation. △(ish)

All I Want for New Year’s Eve Is You: Alex and Y/N spend a quiet New Year's Eve together in Alex's Manhattan apartment, enjoying each other's company and sharing a deep, intimate connection. They kiss, talk, and explore their desire for one another. ☆

Winning Hearts: Alex meets Y/N’s skeptical parents for the first time, determined to win their approval. Though they’re initially guarded, her charm, humor, and clear love for you gradually break through their defenses. ♡

Princess Charming: Y/N's warmth and charm crack Alex carefully curated walls, leaving her flustered yet intrigued. As they continue to interact, Y/N unwavering kindness and genuine affection become a solace in Alex's chaotic world, challenging her to embrace vulnerability. Over time, Alex discovers the joy of letting someone in, finding in Y/N a partner who sees her strength and her softness. ♡

Everything You Deserve: Y/N feels out of place while shopping at an upscale Manhattan boutique with her sophisticated girlfriend, Alex. Though Alex insists Y/N deserves the best, Y/N struggles with accepting extravagance and wants to give Alex a gift that’s truly special. ♡

Amanda Rollins

Grey's Anatomy

Addison Montgomery

Meredith Grey

Arizona Robbins

Callie Torres

Carina DeLuca

Elevator Effect: When Y/N, the new OB/GYN attending at Grey Sloan Memorial arrives for her first day in casual clothes, she catches the attention of Carina in the elevator. Mistaking her for a visitor, Carina boldly flirts, unaware of Y/N's true identity. Y/N decides to keep her secret, enjoying the playful banter and the promise of inevitable embarrassment. As the day unfolds, their paths cross again and again, sparking witty exchanges. ♡

April Kepner

Amelia Shepherd

Lexie Grey

Jo Wilson

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Bonus Chapter 26

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

This chapter took me two days to go through! It's SO LONG (120 pages). I wanted to post yesterday but I got 60 pages in and started fading. Winter is here and the sun keeps disappearing too quickly, your boy is feeling the SAD.

The tea photo is from today and not yesterday- I tried out a new one it's almond amaranth and rooibos.

let's get into this monster of a chapter!

Fuck yeah, we have an airplane POV! Though this chapter is BEEFY. I think I'm going to read half today and half tomorrow before posting it (present me: and I did! ^-^).

I love that we are getting all of these forum comments. This is so fun! One of my favourite brands of fics are fics that include elements of social media/forum/blog style au's and this is a vibe! pp140-147

This guy is not wrong "Even though this famous Lord Cucumber spewed criticism constantly and without end in 'Great Master' Airplane's comment section, his subscription payments and demands for updates never waned. Because of this 'Great Master Airplane had come to suspect that this person was a masochist". p148 I mean yeah lol

OMG what an awful way to die! Alone in your house, let's be real - likely in his underwear- via electrocution induced by his sad instant ramen noodle dinner. p149

and the fact that he transmigrated so young. He was there for a while before the plot plotted with SY. 17 years old! p150. I do wonder if there is a wiggly time thing. Like years in the transmigrated novel equal like hours in the world he came from or something. They died close together I think? anyways- any theories on this are welcome!

Same though- Airplane is so real for this. The way in which I would just want to spill all of the foreknowledge and secrets to people I held in my brain as the creator of this universe p153

The SASS [Tip Complete. We wish you the best of luck]. p155

Are you kidding! This man didn't even write the plot that led for his main spy character to becoming a spy...dang man. the potholes are real bad. p156

Okay but this would seriously be me af. I am such a wimp- and that is totally okay! In the face of most definitely death, I would submit myself to being the Little Bitch Boy and pledge myself, my body, my undying love, to my new demon overlord and master. Good for baby him ahaha. p158

"As Shang Qinghua overflowed with snot and tears, clinging on for dear life, begging to pledge fealty to Mobei-Jun - wholly without warning, the demon collapsed." p160 Again, same. I'm feeling seen with Airplane here XD Screaming, crying, throwing up.

Man. I really see how these two end up together (I'm assuming they do?). He had a solid chance to murder the guy and he just couldn't because the character is just his ideal man. p162

"This character had been created entirely to the author's own tastes" p163 MHMMM. Yeah he was.

ehehehe and here we have the only one bed trope at the inn he got to nurse his ideal man back to health. p165

This guy is so shameless. Straight up just watching Mobei-Jun strip while he sits there and snacks. p169

It is so unhinged that this man just has a string tied to his neck pp170-171

that congee- YARF "clear as water" sounds so unappealing p174

"When in doubt- just cry" - Airplane definitely p176

The security on this mountain is so shit. Demons just popping in all the time under the radar. Mobei-jun literally lived there for three days no one even knew XD p183

awww, Airplane tried to warn Liu Qingge about the upcoming Qi deviation. That was nice of him. p190

Yes! Thank you! The scene I have been waiting for; in which the other characters are all like "wtf is up with shen qingqiu? He really is 100% different overnight, but also, no one say anything to him because we like this him better" p192

Fair though, I too would think that SQQ was possessed p194

The way in which airplane is SHAKEN by the actions of SQQ right now is so funny. Him frozen expression, this is NOT the character I wrote what the fuck is happening. p206

Someone commented on an earlier chapter post I had about the theory that the system is the manifestation of airplane's actual wants for the story and like- I stand with this theory. It really checks out with this POV the man keep's fantasizing of a queer man story and like he sure does get it. p207

LOOOOL oh no. the fact that the man who created these characters - VERY different than this experience. Has to listen to Binghe "If you hold unique feelings for a certain person, how can you make them understand you intentions?" p208.

Not airplane giving LBH love advice just so cucumber bro can literally Get Fucked. pp212-213

AND THEN HIS ADVICE BACKFIRES WITH MOBEI-JUN LOL"So, if you want to be liked by a man, the best method is to act pathetic?" p214. Like he set this up for himself

Wait. Airplane had the option to return home! And he just didnt??? p217

Airplane really is weak for these villainous men. The way in which he describes Linguang-Jun is so simpy. p228

The drama. Airplane doing the MOST to save Mobei-jun. This man could have avoided all of this and just gone home. What a horrible torture! :( p235

Get it airplane! You yell at him ahaha p237-238

I AM SCREAMING. Airplane: I'm your daddy! p239 AND THEN him just leaving in a panic because he really thinks he's going to get murdered after that outburst LOL

I love SQQ sitting in domesticity with his man giving airplane love advice pp244-245

Awww, Mobei-Jun came back for his boyfriend! He's going to make him hand pulled noodles :'3 p255 I honestly think that Mobei-jun actually needed to be bossed around this entire time

BYE. LOL SGH deciding to continue writing in this world by basically writing slash fanfiction about LBH/SQQ + the other peak lords/famous cultivators LOL p256. Good for him ahaha.

We did it!

This chapter was such a ride ahaha. it was fun to see the POV for airplane but also him and the progression of his weird AF relationship with Mobei-jun. I honestly kind of love these two. They were such a mess in the beginning but it ended so soft :'3

[sjsmith56]

Affirmation - A Private Man, Chapter 24

Summary: With Christmas just days away, a decision is finally made about the Avengers and Bucky has to decide whether to move on with them or continue the life he has built in Brooklyn.

Length: 6.7 K

Characters: Bucky, Tracey, Rebecca, Janice, Rhodey, John Walker

Warnings: Some moments of disappointment and angst.

Author notes: There are some long monologues in this, as official announcements are made. Divider by vecteezy.com.

<<Chapter 23

The rest of December passed quickly enough. The Christmas party at the newcomer's centre, the first event held there since the water main broke, was a success. Receiving coverage on television due to the presence of the reporter, it garnered a lot of interest from people wanting to volunteer their time helping those who needed the centre's services. With all the food contributions brought in for the party, that included foods for other cultural celebrations, there was more than enough for people to sample the different tastes of many different countries. Samira and Amina both received inquiries about their baking and were interviewed about being Muslims who were actively involved in a Christmas celebration.

"It's just being respectful," said Amina to the reporter, as if it should be obvious. "When we celebrated Eid, after the completion of Ramadan, we extended an invitation to our non-Muslim friends to attend the celebration. In the past I've been to Hindu festivals, and a celebration of Chinese New Year. We've been to some Hanukkah, and Diwali events this winter, with an invitation to attend some upcoming Kwanzaa events as well. These people are my friends, some of them dear friends. I celebrate them."

The reporter also pointed out the centre received active support from several prominent people including Bucky Barnes and Captain America, pointing out that other Avengers attended the party, including Thor, War Machine, Falcon, Spider-Man, and the newest member Hawkeye. When he closed his segment, the reporter also announced that the centre had received a grant from the Stark Foundation, to cover expenses in maintaining the building, as well as being in talks with the Wakandan International Outreach Centre to provide technology support in training individuals for IT jobs. With one of Samira's pastries in hand the reporter signed off by taking a bite and rolling his eyes at how good it was.

After the Christmas party Bucky invited the other Avengers back to the house to relax and enjoy some Christmas cheer. They officially announced Tracey's pregnancy and the purchase of a house in Brooklyn. Rhodes officially announced that funding and approval had been secured for the Avengers to become a permanent rapid response team. It was tempered by his next announcement.

"The funding is contingent on us being based in one location which is still being determined," he said. "I tried to point out that we come from all over the place, some of us with other jobs and responsibilities. I'm still working on convincing them that with the cooperation of the sorcerers in providing portals that can transport us instantaneously we don't need to be in one spot, but the Joint Chiefs of Staff are insistent on following a strict military model." He looked at Bucky specifically. "You just bought a house and I'm very happy for you. If you want to step away from the Avengers I understand and support you 100 percent."

"If that's how it is, that's how it is," replied Bucky, who tried not to show his disappointment. "I do appreciate you trying. I do like my job on the docks, and they have been very accommodating to me."

As the others talked about other things Bucky slipped away into the back yard, where the fairy lights were on. He stood on the back step just breathing, then felt someone putting a jacket over his shoulders. Turning around he saw Tracey and put his arm around her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You must be disappointed."

"I am but not surprised," he answered. "Can you imagine the military mobilizing to try and stop Ross? They would have spent too long arguing which branch of the military were best suited to send out before finally deciding on an aircraft carrier to search for another aircraft carrier. They would have radioed over asking for them to surrender then wonder why Ross's mercenaries were hell bent on ignoring the rules of engagement when they began firing missiles at them. By then Ross would have already been off the coast of Africa sending in his air crews, with Ghost, an enhanced human who can materialize and dematerialize at will probably at the forefront to get through the Wakandan shields. Then the government maybe would send in a Seal team or a strike force of elite soldiers to intercept, but it would take them at least 10 hours flying at Mach 2 to even reach Wakanda which would have already been breached and likely conquered. What do they say about possession being 9/10ths of the law? Ross would have control and would tell them to fuck right off, and they would because he's one of them."

She rubbed his back, sad that he was so upset by this decision. Neither of them heard Rhodes until Bucky heard the sound of his leg braces.

"I'm out of practice," said Bucky, cynically. "You almost snuck up on me. Some super soldier I am."

"I prefer to think that you were pre-occupied," said Rhodes. "Because you're the best damn soldier I've ever known. Your analytical abilities alone rival the best chief warrant officers I've ever served with. I'm angry at the Joint Chiefs for pulling this power play, because that's what it is, their attempt to maintain a semblance of control over the Avengers. Hell, even the President apologized for this. He knows the only reason we succeeded is because we were able to mobilize immediately, using a combination of our own intelligence gathering, portals and a quinjet to get to where we needed to be at the time we needed to be there. All because of you anticipating what Ross was going to do while you were working a day job and getting ready for your wedding."

"And yet, here we are, still hamstrung because the Avengers still don't have autonomy," replied Bucky. He gave out a frustrated sigh. "I know that you're trying Rhodey, and that you're navigating a very complex political system. But at some point, I have to fold. With a wife and a baby on the way I ...."

"No, don't give up," interrupted Rhodes. "I think they need to have a taste of their own medicine. I'm convinced the Avengers work best with you as one of the leaders, the tactical leader. So, we pull our own power play. Unless we have total autonomy, including not being tied to a specific location, then we don't form. We are the best of the best and I don't think they quite understand that. If I do this, they're going to recall me to Washington, and I want you with me when I go. I want you to tell them what you told Tracey just before you realized I was listening."

"You really think they're going to listen to me?" asked Bucky. "I'm still the Winter Soldier to them."

"Maybe to the Generals but I can tell you that the enlisted men think you're the goat, which means the greatest of all time. You're the sergeant they all respect, the guy who gets things done, and doesn't bullshit anyone. We need you, Buck. The Avengers just don't work without you."

Bucky turned his head to look at Tracey, silently asking for her advice.

"You should do it," she said quietly. "I know that you really want this. Don't let it slip out of your fingers because you're worried about me and the baby. I knew that night in the Bahamas that it's what you're meant to be doing."

"But it means you'll be alone," he replied.

"Never," she said. "Not where it counts, in here." She pressed her chest with her clenched fist. "Each time you come back we'll pick up where we left off and it will be glorious. I know that now. Nothing will really keep us apart, not where it matters."

"I'll just leave you two out here," muttered Rhodes, backing away as he felt the emotion flowing between the couple.

Sliding his hand onto Tracey's neck, Bucky gazed deeply into her eyes, so consumed was he with his love for her. She got him and understood him completely. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers.

"I'm afraid to leave you," he admitted. "What if I don't come back?"

"You could get crushed by a sea can at the docks," she said, making him laugh a short grim laugh. "I have to believe we met because we were meant to be together. You'll always be with me. Always."

Their lips crashed together fiercely as if they would never see each other again. The feel of Tracey's body against his was as if she were a part of him, so closely did they fit together. When he looked at her face softly illuminated by the fairy lights in the garden, he drank in every feature on her face.

"Alright, I'll keep on believing we can make the Avengers happen," he said. "I believe in us first; this marriage is the priority, always. If it ever gets too hard for you, I have to know because I will choose you every time."

They kissed once more to seal their pact and returned into the warmth of the house. Rhodes made eye contact with Bucky from where he sat on the sofa with his arm around Janice and Bucky nodded to him. He was still in.

The time before Christmas went quickly. They bought a new SUV originally planning to trade in Tracey's smaller car but Janice offered to buy it when her divorce was finalized and the house sold so they transferred ownership to her, telling her it was a gift. Their possession date for the new house was set for the end of February and they began planning what to get done for renovations before they moved in.

Bucky's return to work was memorable as he was greeted by a desk covered in post-it notes, each with a different message, some funny while others were more heartfelt. It was evident he was an object of pride for the dock workers, their own real-life hero. He took it in stride, laughing at the sight of his multi-coloured desk, then grumbling in a good-natured way as he peeled the individual notes off, reading their message before sticking them into a messy pile. The docks were busy that final week as many container ships were docking and unloading their cargos before they went to a different dock for repairs or maintenance. Ship's crews were given leave to return home to their families for the holidays. Many of the cranes had Christmas trees attached to their booms, lit up in bright lights.

On the afternoon of the 24th he had just finished wishing his crew a Merry Christmas as they were released to have five days off before returning to work on Monday, the 30th. The other supervisors were doing the same with their crews. As Bucky headed into the building where the offices were, Rick leaned out of his.

"Call for you on line 2," he said.

"Thanks, I'll take it at my desk," said Bucky, heading in and taking his fluorescent supervisor's vest off. He picked up the phone receiver and pressed line 2. "Barnes here."

There was silence for a moment. "It's John Walker," said the voice. "Please don't hang up."

"John," answered Bucky, feeling anger building up in him. "What do you want?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so ashamed that I wasn't strong enough to stop them from turning me. I couldn't even tell anyone that they were experimenting on me. It was like whenever I wanted to tell someone, even Olivia, that a hand came over my mouth, preventing it from working."

Bucky said nothing, then he heard the shakiness in Walker's breath, the anguish the man was feeling being expressed in his voice.

"Go on," replied Bucky. "Was anything you said to me on the level?"

"Yes, all of it," answered the other man. "I wanted out, but they found out before I met with Matt Murdock. They must have bugged my phone or my car. I don't know how they knew but I was called into a meeting a couple of days later and that Mordo was there. I told Val that I wanted out of my contract, and she was all apologetic then said to give them another chance. He said something and then it was like there was a gap in my memories. When I met with Murdock, he didn't seem to believe me. Maybe I was already being changed then."

"I believe you were," said Bucky. "Apparently Dr. Strange went through time, and said it took several sessions for Mordo to change you completely."

"Yeah, Strange and that other sorcerer, Wong, changed me back on the ship," said Walker. "It was like it was all a bad dream, everything I said to you, everything I did. I feel like I can't trust my own mind anymore. Olivia ... she's standing by me, but I see it every time she comes to see me in the lockup that a part of her still ...."

His voice trailed off and Bucky recognized the sounds of a man struggling not to cry. He could feel his own anger dissipating, as he knew exactly what Walker was going through.

"Listen," he said firmly. "You're not on the Raft, right?" Walker agreed. "That already means that the authorities believe you and with you telling them everything you remember, that will be the beginning of making amends. You need counselling. Don't go see Dr. Raynor as you know each other personally. I'll see if I can find someone who can be objective with you. Then you need to come clean with your wife about everything, including what you did when you were still in the military and what happened in Latvia."

"No, she'll leave me," answered Walker in a strained voice.

"But it's eating away at you," said Bucky. "Sam and I knew that right from the beginning. Lemar was the one that held you together and without him you're falling apart. Not even Olivia's love is enough to keep that from happening. The only way you'll know if that love is strong enough is if you're brave enough to tell her everything and ask her to help heal you. If she decides that it's not enough then you have to live with that, accept it, and move on. Trust me, John, you can't go on the way you are now. I've been there and it's an awful way to exist, because it sure as hell is not living."

"You'd help me?" asked Walker. "After all that's happened and my part in it, you would still help me?"

Bucky took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He had come a long way in his own journey but knew it would never be over as part of him still experienced guilt and remorse over the Winter Soldier's actions. But he had opened his heart to love, had become more involved in the community, had volunteered at the newcomer's centre, and the result had been that for the past half year he was happier than he had been since the war. At the other end of the line was a man who had wronged him, going through a similar journey. Was he not as deserving of a hand to raise him up?

"I'll help you," he said to Walker. "One vet to another. Honestly, I'm not ready to forgive you yet and I'll never forget what you did. But I'm also someone who was in a similar position, and I wouldn't have come through it unless people reached out and gave me a hand."

That broke the dam as he heard weeping for several minutes. Patiently, he waited through it, knowing that Walker needed to let it out. When he heard the loud cleansing breath a few minutes later he knew that it was a beginning.

"Bucky, thanks," breathed Walker. "I'll do what you asked. I've cooperated with the investigators. They've assigned me a public defender, but do you think that Murdock would represent me? Even though he didn't trust me he seemed to be an honest man."

"That's up to him," said Bucky. "You just remember that it was Ross and Fontaine that decided to do this to you. I found out that Ross saw me being tortured while I was the Winter Soldier. He was a guest of Alexander Pierce. It appears he always wanted an army of super soldiers to do his bidding. Makes him as bad as HYDRA."

"Well, that makes two of them because Val was there when Mordo was," replied Walker. "How do these people end up with the power they do? Once again, I'm sorry. I hope you have a good Christmas. You deserve it, Bucky."

The call ended and Bucky looked at the receiver in his hand before replacing it on the cradle. Pulling his cellphone out he opened the contact list and brought up Matt Murdock's name. Pressing on the call icon he waited while it rang but it went to voicemail.

"Hey, it's Bucky," he said. "I have a favour to ask. If you don't accept it's alright but I believe in second chances. John Walker was turned without his consent, but he is now cooperating with the authorities. He has a public defender representing him, but you know most of those guys are only there until they get offered a better job. If you could perhaps represent him, I would appreciate it and I will pay whatever rate you wish. It doesn't mean I've forgiven him. That will take time, but I think he just needs a hand to get back on track. Anyways, if I don't hear from you have a Merry Christmas."

He was about to put his phone back in his pocket when he had another thought and made the call. It was a long shot but no one should be alone on Christmas Day. They were already going to have Rhodey with them; one more wouldn't be a problem. The woman he spoke to was surprised to receive his call and wouldn't commit but promised to give it serious thought. If that was the best she could give him it would have to be enough.

Pulling open the bottom drawer of his desk he pulled out a paper bag wrapped around a bottle and took it to Rick's office. He was on the phone but his eyes lit up when he saw Bucky pull the bottle out, a very good scotch. Quickly, he finished his call and looked at him with a smirk.

"Drinking on the job?" he joked. "I know it doesn't affect you but damn, Bucky."

"This is a thank you," replied Bucky. "To apologize for the past month and everything that went down that kept me away from this fine place of employment. It's also to prepare you for next year."

"That sounds ominous," stated Rick. "What's up?"

He pulled two glasses out of his desk drawer and gestured to Bucky to crack the bottle open. Bucky poured them each a good portion and capped the bottle. Holding his glass up to Rick he toasted him then drank some of the amber liquid.

"They're forming the Avengers again and they want me to be part of it," said Bucky. "Even though they're still working on the logistics I've agreed because, let's face it, I'm better at that than I am riding a desk as a dock supervisor."

"I wouldn't say that," replied Rick. "You're well thought of here. Your crew operates well and I think a lot of it has to do with you. Is this your notice?"

"Not exactly. I want to stay on but I know being supervisor isn't workable considering I could be called out on a moment's notice."

Rick took another drink out of his glass and put it down. "Well, this is as good a time as any to tell you something," said Rick. "They're winding down container ship operations at the dock here cutting back on operational hours to start with. They're moving operations gradually to New Jersey and Red Hook. This area is to be redeveloped for light industrial, pleasure boat marinas, and affordable residential. It's going to take years but it's in the works and next year is when the ships will start to be redirected to the other facilities. We won't be filling vacancies in the crews starting in the new year, although supervisor positions will still be filled by internal promotions."

Bucky sat back and sipped his scotch. "What about those people currently working?" he asked.

"They'll be given the opportunity to move to the new locations," said Rick. "I'm thinking of retiring myself."

"End of an era," said Bucky. "Not surprised though. The newcomer's centre I volunteer at say they've been lobbying for more affordable housing. Immigrants still want to live in New York but are finding it less affordable. Which is unfortunate as they helped make New York what it is."

"I agree," said Rick. "My grandpa was from Italy. Got on at the navy yards before the war."

"My dad worked there," commented Bucky with a quick smile. "Small world." He drained his glass. "Well, thanks for the news. I'm going to talk to Tracey about it. She's pregnant. We bought a house in Midtown because Rebecca's place is too small for a baby and four adults."

"Already?" smiled Rick. "You work fast. Congratulations. You'll be a good dad."

Bucky stood up, offered his hand to Rick and the two men wished each other a Merry Christmas. Back in his office Bucky straightened up and looked around. He would miss this but he also knew he could leave it behind. It seemed like more than one thing was telling him to stick with the Avengers. As he clocked out and headed for the security gate he looked up at the grey sky and the light snow that was falling. Perhaps there would be enough for a soft blanket over everything by the next morning.

On the way home he stopped off at the jewellers. It was busy, filled with men buying a last-minute gift. The manager finished serving her customer and waved Bucky over to an open spot at the counter. She went to a locked cabinet and brought out a tray with four small boxes. The first, containing a pair of pearl stud earrings received a nod from him. The second box holding a white gold bracelet with two diamonds also received a nod from him when he read the inscription. The manager opened the 3rd and 4th box one after another and pushed them towards him. The white gold locket was opened to show the picture of him on one side and Tracey on the other. The engraving on the back received a soft smile from him. Then he picked the fourth box up and looked at the emerald and diamond earrings, giving the manager an approving nod.

"I must say the women in your life are very lucky," said the manager. "I've never had a customer who bought such beautiful gifts for his mother-in-law, sister, and wife all at once."

"They all mean a lot to me," said Bucky. "Haven't had the funds to show it before. You'll be able to wrap them and tag them properly?"

"Absolutely," said the manager. "Give me ten ... maybe fifteen minutes to get them wrapped real pretty. Why don't you go next door and get a coffee while you're waiting? If you pay now I can bring them over to you."

Taking out his bank card from his wallet Bucky paid what was owing then went next door, ordering a coffee at the same place where he and Tracey had their first "date." He thought back to that afternoon where she revealed that she was emotionally involved and had asked to be removed from Rebecca's case. Never did he think they would realize how much they meant to each other, and end up married, and expecting their first child. For all the trouble that happened that year their relationship was solid, strengthened by Tracey's resolve and support. He truly believed he was one lucky man to have her love. His attention was taken by the jewelry store manager bringing his package to him. Shaking her hand in thanks he took it and finished his coffee then hurried the rest of the way back home. As he stepped up the front steps the door was opened and Tracey came out, hugging him.

"What's this?" he asked, amused at her coming outside. "I haven't even walked in the door yet."

"I'm delaying you," she laughed. "Someone is finishing wrapping your present at the dining room table. What's that you have in your hand?"

"Nothing," he smiled. "Just something I found in the middle of the road."

"Give it to me and I'll put it in the garbage," she said, trying to take it.

He raised it up, out of her reach, then trapped her with his free arm and kissed her while they both laughed, earning some whistles from the neighbours who were sweeping snow off their sidewalks. Janice came to the door and said it was safe for Bucky to come inside. With a wave to the neighbours they both went inside where Bucky opened his bag and placed the small boxes on the tree branches.

"I thought you said it was nothing," accused Tracey, grinning.

"I lied," he answered. "No peeking until tomorrow."

It smelled wonderful in the house. There was a roast in the oven, and he could discern the scent of apples and cinnamon. Janice came out of the kitchen with a mug of hot apple cider.

"I put a little extra something in it," she said, with a wink. "Rhodey will be here soon."

"I thought he was coming tomorrow," said Bucky. "Where's he sleeping?"

Janice blushed. "We're sharing the bed downstairs, alright? I offered as it's more comfortable for him than the couch. It's not like either of us are kids." She pouted slightly and Bucky offered her a hug which she accepted. "He said he has something to tell you. He's doing a group video call with everyone after dinner."

"Okay, Mom," he joked, earning him a playful swat on the arm as she went back into the kitchen. He called from behind her. "Can I help?"

"No, we've got it covered," replied Rebecca in a loud voice from the kitchen. "You relax with your wife."

Doing as he was told Bucky sat in the armchair and patted his lap, joined immediately by Tracey.

"Hi," he said softly. "How was your day?"

"Good," she said. "I had morning sickness. After you left."

"Sorry I missed it?" he smiled then he kissed her. "That means that growth hormone is being produced, doesn't it?"

"Yup, completely normal in a pregnancy," she replied. "How was work?"

"Good, found something out." She looked at him expectantly. "They're going to be slowing down operations there starting in the new year and eventually relocating everything to New Jersey or Red Hook. The docks are going to be redeveloped into light industrial, pleasure boat marinas and affordable residential development."

"Oh no," she said. "What about everyone that works there?"

"They'll be able to transfer to the new areas but I'm guessing if they end up in New Jersey they'll have to move," he said. "No new hires either but they will still promote to supervisor from within. I think I should offer my notice. When the Avengers start up I can focus on that, with volunteer work during my downtime."

"Are you good with that?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm good with that," replied Bucky, kissing her. "I think it was meant to happen this way. I'll only be torn between home and the Avengers, not a regular day job as well."

He was grinning when he said that, proving that he really was good with it. She ran her hands through his hair and kissed him back. When the doorbell rang, she hopped off and opened it, greeting Rhodey as he entered with an overnight bag.

"Buck, my travelling case for the suit is in the trunk of the rental car," he said. "Would you mind?"

"No problem," said Bucky, heading out the door and bringing the bulky case in. He gave Rhodey a wicked grin. "I'll put it downstairs next to your sleeping accommodations."

"Don't get snarky with your boss," said Rhodes with a gleam in his eye.

He stepped further in and entered the kitchen giving Rebecca a kiss on the cheek and Janice a hug and a kiss. Tracey watched them with interest as her mother hadn't said much about her relationship with Rhodes but if they were sharing the bed downstairs then it obviously had progressed. Not that it mattered to Tracey. For all the years that her mother had put up with her father's abuse Tracey was happy that someone made her mom feel good about herself.

During dinner Bucky tried to get Rhodes to reveal what the news was but the man wouldn't bite, saying he wanted to tell everyone in North America at one time.

"So, does that mean everyone overseas already knows?" asked Bucky, pulling his phone out.

"Don't bother them," replied Rhodes. "They wouldn't appreciate it. You'll know soon enough." He looked at his watch. "Another hour. Keep your curiosity to yourself for one more hour."

After a dessert of apple pie and ice cream Bucky started picking up the plates to put them away in the dishwasher while Tracey began putting leftovers in the fridge. She ran some water in the sink for the things that wouldn't fit and washed them while Bucky dried. Once everything was put away Rhodes pulled his laptop onto the living room coffee table. He set up a group video chat and waited for everyone to check in.

"Sit next to me," he said to Bucky. "You're going to see some new people on this chat as we extended an invitation to the enhanced humans that Ross and Fontaine abducted. A few have bowed out, not wanting to be tied to any organization. That's their right. We won't force them, but they have been advised that if they provide their services independently it should be for legitimate work only."

Peter, Kate, Joaquin, Sam, and Yelena Belova all connected. Shortly after Bruce, Clint, Scott, Hope, and Shaun also joined the chat. Finally, the President and Secretary General of the UN also connected. Bucky looked at Rhodes who grinned.

"It looks like we're all here," he said. "I held a session this morning with Princess Shuri of Wakanda, Thor and King Valkyrie of New Asgard, Alexei Shostakov, Melina Vostokoff and Antonia Dreykov who have all agreed to be part of the Avengers when it is feasibly possible for them. At this time the other enhanced humans that were abducted by Ross have declined the invitation but are aware that any services they provide must be to legitimate parties only. If they are found to be involved in an illegal activity they will be subject to being taken into custody by us. Which leads to the next part of this announcement. Secretary General Uboku, I give the floor to you."

The African diplomat bowed his head. "Thank you, Colonel Rhodes. It is my pleasure to announce that the Avengers will be resurrected as a rapid response team under United Nations sponsorship. What this means is that funding for the organization will come from all member countries. The Sokovia Accords that were negotiated under the leadership of Thaddeus Ross have been officially repealed. They will be replaced by a new agreement that will leave the acceptance and organization of missions to the Avengers themselves. Responsibility for damages caused by their actions in dealing with insurgents, terrorists, and any other entity causing disruption will be charged to those entities whose illegal activities prompted the intervention in the first place. To that event a new internationally binding law has been passed at the United Nations this morning that allows member countries to seize the assets of those entities. In other words, if they break it, they buy it. Mr. President, if you would continue with your portion of this meeting."

"Thank you Mr. Secretary General," said the President. "May I ask, Sergeant Barnes, if your sister is present?"

"Yes sir, she is," said Bucky, as Rhodes changed the angle of the laptop so that she was visible. "Mr. President, may I present my sister, Rebecca Barnes Proctor."

"Mr. President," nodded Rebecca.

"It is a pleasure to meet you onscreen," he replied. "I hope some day you will be able to come to the White House. Your determination to make sure your brother was treated with dignity and respect alerted me to something very wrong in Washington, in fact our whole country. For so many years we were under the impression that Thaddeus Ross was protecting American interests in a manner that was consistent with our ideals. Your phone call to me that one day showed me a side of the man I trusted for so long that was disturbing and alarming. Among the discoveries we made as we launched an investigation was his involvement with the head of HYDRA, Alexander Pierce, specifically in his collusion with him in the continued imprisonment and torture of your brother Sergeant James Barnes. This was in addition to his responsibility for the super soldier serum project undertaken by Dr. Bruce Banner, who also deserves an apology for how he was used, abused, and hunted as a criminal when he attempted to withdraw his cooperation. Dr. Banner, I am pleased to see you as part of this meeting tonight and hope you are able to continue with your research studies that have already benefitted the world. I am sorry for the lack of oversight which allowed Thaddeus Ross to threaten your existence as a private citizen. It will never be repeated. To ensure the rights of all enhanced humans a 28th amendment will be proposed that will enshrine their rights to be free of coercion, expectation of service, or discrimination. We invite several of you to be participants in the creation of this amendment, ensuring your rights as full citizens. The final part of my announcement is to assure you that while we will have a base of operations that you may call your headquarters, it will not require you to live on site, except by your choice. Colonel Rhodes has convinced us that with the cooperation of the Masters of the Mystic Arts you will have access to portals that can bring all of you together in one spot in a matter of moments. Considering how quickly you mobilized to deal with Thaddeus Ross and Val de Fontaine's task force it is our belief that you be given the freedom to live as you see fit. Tomorrow, on Christmas Day, both Secretary General Uboku and myself will formally announce the resurrection of the Avengers as a rapid response team that will respond to threats to humanity, including safeguarding the sovereignty of all countries, no matter if they are members of the United Nations or not. On a personal note, thank you to those of you who mobilized against Ross and his hired thugs. All of them, with the exception of John Walker, who was turned without his consent, are currently residents of the Raft. They will face trial by video conferencing. Ross, as an active member of the military has already faced court martial, has been found guilty, sentenced to life imprisonment, and stripped of his rank and all benefits. He is now persona non grata, unwelcome to join our society. I am willing to answer any questions if any of you have any."

"Excuse me sir," said Peter hesitantly. "I'm Peter Parker."

"Spider-Man," said the President. "I'm aware of you, young man, having been read into your situation. How go your studies?"

"F-fine sir, thank you," stammered Peter. "I'm just curious. Will we be paid?"

Both the President and the Secretary General smiled. "Yes, you will," said the President. "We can't expect you to put your life on the line for free now, can we? You will be paid a retainer of $6000 per month, plus a daily rate of $500 per day when you are on mission. Those rates will be revisited on a yearly basis. You will receive full medical benefits, plus have full life insurance and pension payments made on your behalf. You will still have to pay taxes but we have created a special tax rate for you which will be very advantageous. We want you to feel appreciated for what you do. Goodness knows you have done so much already without expectation."

There were no more questions and the President and Secretary General signed off. After their images disappeared Rhodes was peppered with questions but he put his hands up in surrender.

"I know you have all sorts of questions," he said. "I don't have all the answers yet as some details still need to be worked out. Suffice it to say we're back in business. I'll be in command. I want Sam and Bucky in leadership positions." Bucky started to protest but Rhodes smiled. "Don't underestimate your abilities Buck. Nearly everyone on here will follow you, me included. Your analytical abilities are among the best I've ever seen." Everyone else on screen nodded their heads or said they agreed. "So, tonight and for the next week, enjoy time with your friends and families. In the new year we will get down to business and begin to build the Avengers back to what they were always meant to be: a group of remarkable individuals brought together to face extraordinary threats. Merry Christmas everyone."

Rhodes closed his laptop and leaned back, smiling.

"What happened to me going to Washington with you?" asked Bucky.

"Wasn't needed," said Rhodes. "When I told the President that we couldn't do this right if we were forced to operate under US military control and forced to live on a military base he contacted the United Nations and presented the case that we would be better as an independent organization with rapid response capability. Turns out the world was watching when Ross made his play. They were not happy with the influence that corporate interests had on political matters. If it could happen to Wakanda, whose technology and defences are superior then any one of those member countries were also at risk. We weren't beholden to a country, military or corporate interest. We were there, standing up to Ross, because it was the right thing to do. Plain and simple."

That evening was a happy one for everyone in the Proctor / Barnes house. There was music, some dancing, and lots of talking. When Rebecca went to bed Bucky started reading The Box of Delights to her. It was another book from her childhood, a much longer one that would take all of the Christmas week to read. Still in print, it brought good memories for the brother and sister. After Bucky kissed her goodnight and turned off the light Tracey put on a Nat King Cole Christmas album. She drank hot chocolate while the other three finished the apple cider, boosted by a little bit of whiskey. It was a Christmas Eve like nothing she or her mother Janice had ever experienced with her father. It was mellow, quiet, and something that was repeated many times over the years.

Chapter 25>>

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[stepmarchen]

Analyzing Shuri and Lucas' Relationship

Mostly a Lucas rant because he's one of my favorite characters (even though we love to hate this bastard)

spoilers up to Ch. 126

Despite our not so lovely introduction to Lucas' character in the early chapters of the manhwa, It's so interesting how Lucas' villainy took a complex route in later chapters and the role his strengths and weaknesses play to Shuri's misfortune and favor.

Shuri often recounts memories of Lucas during their childhood in Bretten and we get an inside look on the person he is inside.

"Lucas Ighofer, my brother... He thought I was slow and dull-witted because I didn't know how to be tough... but he would also sometimes step in like an older brother in front of the rough neighbors. Whenever that happened... He made me think that maybe some things would go his way."

- Shuri, Ch. 125

He wasn't exactly "nice" but the two relied on one another in that way that only siblings would relate to. While he totally belittled her, Lucas also trusted Shuri with his earnings, the code to his safe, and defended Shuri like a true big brother.

In a way, I think it's actually thanks to Lucas that Shuri also dreamt of a better life. We see this in the way she seems to remember him in a positive light (literally basked in warm light). There's also major significance in how her core memories of him are usually about his hopes and dreams, as opposed to say, his gambling habits or laziness.

Shuri could've had the same humble dreams as her bff Anna but I think she looked up to Lucas, who was the only real role model in her early life.

The main difference between the two was the vehicles in which they took towards their shared goal. Shuri planned a more earnest living, selling crops for a chicken, and the eggs for a pig, and so forth. Meanwhile, Lucas made bets, resulting in quick and large sums of cash while simultaneously losing it all in the process.

Lucas knows exactly how corrupt the world can be and he's fully willing to go down with it. It's just unfortunate that he's also willing to drag down Shuri along with him.

In the end, Shuri got an involuntary ride to the top of the food chain and Lucas... climbed his way to the capital... eventually.

Now let's talk briefly interlude about Lucas' time in the capital.

While he's a selfish mf that tried to extort his own baby sister (multiple times), he is also one of the most motivated characters in the series, even to the point where he becomes a pest. He'll take all the shortcuts he can take, but if it doesn't work out, he's not totally unwilling to take the long and hard route. In their first on-page meeting, Shuri calls out Lucas for lying about starving for 4 days. But this is never actually confirmed. I want to say that it's pretty likely that he really was starving. Now, the reason why? Proooobably because he gambled away his food money.

Anyway, back on topic.

Eventually, Lucas does make it and opens the Sheiss Gambling House at the call of Cardinal Meissner.

"He used other people's weaknesses for his own selfish interests... yet despised being exploited himself. He, more than anyone... wanted to live a life where he could use others."

- Shuri, Ch. 125

The thing about Lucas is that he's also one of the smarter characters as well. His outer farce makes him seem like a small threat, but he singlehandedly started the gears for the upcoming Holy War.

Think about it. He somehow gathered tons of blackmail on the church because he disliked the idea of being used by Cardinal Meissner over his Gambling Business. Blackmail that at this point, only an insider (with access to secret tunnels in the Vatican) like Richelieu had privvy to. We don't know exactly how Lucas gathered this material... but the fact that he did makes him a pretty big threat.

Which is exactly why the church captured him.

And it's only thanks to years of growing up side by side together that Shuri knew her brother well enough to know that the blackmail existed and where/how to retrieve it.

The only concern now is that Lucas may have also given the Church vital information regarding Shuri. And we don't know what he disclosed.

At this point, we know that Shuri still has some lingering sisterly love for Lucas, but it's unconfirmed whether Lucas feels the same way. Lucas is an asshole but I would like to think that in his final moments, Lucas would still protect Shuri like he did years ago.

In the end, Shuri outgrew her "dim-witted" nature and took advantage of the information waiting in her lap. She evolved past Lucas' shadow used his brains to her advantage. But she never used anything against him. Even in the bitter end, she tried to save him. And he ended up killing himself.

[exo-raskreia]

hi i'm the anon who asked that question about jjk wasted potential and i totally!! agree with your points. I am so disappointed about the wasted potenial of jjk hidden lore. If only I came up with this idea of jjk and write a roller coaster ride of a story. i strongly believe about utahime being the main adult girl of the series. i was thinking how she could have been a great role model to maki and even gojo students while he was sealed. Utahime where were you in the culling game i need dm you

Yes!! I totally agree that Utahime could've also been a great role model/mentor to Gojo's students in general while he was sealed. She could've been shown being worried for them & checked on them from time to time, maybe teaching a class or two, giving an encouraging speech & stuff. Oh, God, the potential 😫...!!

(I also like the HC that maybe Gojo had asked her to help him with the Fushiguro siblings at times. And what about Utahime inspiring Gojo to become a teacher? Those could be nice reveals...😔)

I've actually had all these as ideas for a fic, if I ever get around to it...

Despite her lack of screentime, Utahime is surprisingly the 3rd most popular female character in the Japanese JJK fandom behind Nobara & Maki, as according to last year's 3rd character popularity poll, she ranked 14 (formerly at 15, so she went up a rank from the previous poll even though she had been absent from the main story for several chapters; the 3rd poll was conducted right before her reappearance with Gojo 👀). Her power 💅...

(Wonder where she'll rank this time in the upcoming 4th poll, esp now that we've got her CT reveal 🤔)

A lot of her fanarts on Twitter, for example, garner tons of likes & some dudes see her as waifu material, lol. Just imagine if she had more screen/panel time... If Gege cared to flesh her out more, give us her background... How much more popular would she be? 😩

Not to mention, GjHm is the most popular JJK straight ship in Japan as well, according to Pixiv. If GjHm had more interactions... It'd be such a powerful ship, like I know, I know more people would be onboard with it if they just had more interactions, more Utahime screentime... 😫. I find it funny when I sometimes see non-shippers, esp dudes, consider Utahime as Gojo's love interest or make jokes of something going on between them (triggering antis in the process). It's like they see her as the most likely to end up with him 🤣👀.

Some people have come out of the woodworks to say they like the ship but were afraid to say it (in their circles, at least) for fear they'll be attacked by antis. How many more are secret GjHm fans? When will people learn to just ship & let ship? 😮‍💨

And yes, where the heck was Utahime during the Culling Games? What was she doing? Her CT would've been useful. And wasn't one of the rules that any sorcerer who didn't enter the games would be stripped from their CT? How did she manage to not to be affected? Was she under protection? It hasn't seemed to have affected anyone so far, though? Did Gege forget?

But anyway, yeah, if only Gege had cared enough to flesh out his characters more... 😮‍💨

[lej222]

Please please please make a prediction about how the story will unfold starting from chapter 127 in Aslfua. I am a big fan of your theorie

Well, this is a difficult quiestion, but I will try to answer it. First of all, I believe everything depends on the author's intentions. I've read her previous webtoon, Cheese in the Trap, and I must say she has grown a lot as a storyteller and artist. Unripe Apples, in my opinion, is her best work so far in terms of characters, storytelling and symbolism. From the very start the ending had two different outcomes, at least the part of the ending most readers seem to care about - whether Cheol and Miae will end up together. The author has hinted the possibility of them parting ways since the very first chapters; in fact, when I read the narrator's parts it always feels like the narrator is looking back at the past, recalling fleeting moments that were important to the characters once. It's deliberately like an adult talking to children, noting how their age and inexperience about the world shape who they are in the storyline. Of course, the creator might have wanted them to end up together from the start, or maybe fan reactions and personal opinions could have changed her mind, maybe she always wanted a bittersweet ending and will stick with it - who knows. It will all depend on what she will emphasize in the upcoming part of the story, either way it will be fine.

As for other aspects of the story, I have lots of theories and have read other interesting ones as well.

In my previous post I talked about how ASLFUA should be read as a growth story instead of a romance. Like there are certain people we have to meet in our lives as if it was fated in order to learn from them. If we use this mindset, we can say that differents parts of the story are about the struggles and emotional growth of different characters. Part 1, ending with Miae's birthday, is mainly Cheol's story. It deals with his insecurities, problems and he matures significantly by the end of the first part. One of my personal favourite scenes is when he's just sitting next to the trash, broken, without any hope for the future - it's a visually impressive and tragic scene about a teenager who carries a heavy weight too big for a child. Part two, ending with ch126, is mostly about the changing friendship between Cheol and Miae, and the start of Miae's growth as a person. It is also the first time Jisu gets a center role in the story. Interestingly, characters who are acknowledged by the main characters and start to be a significant presence in their lives get their faces revealed. It's a funny visual solution, because it shows the focus of these kids - one who can expand their world and be a part of it is treated differently than those who are not. Jisu's face wasn't shown before simply because he wasn't the focus of Miae's limited world, once she acknowledged him as a person and learned his name his face was revealed. Part 3, in my opinion, starting from 127 will put more focus on Jisu as a character. There are multiple signs of him being a significant character from the very first chapter.

Jisu is an interesting case though, because we know almost nothing about him. It's pretty obvious that he parallels Cheol in many ways, they are opposites in almost everything. If the story becomes darker as the end of the year approaches, Jisu's backstory might not be as happy as some might first believed. There are numerous theories about him, I've also mentioned some of them before, like how he might be neurodivergent, a son of divorced parents, or maybe even abused. Some of these might be present at the same time, e.g. if he's on the spectrum he might be abused and bullied because of it, people who are different are always easy targets for those who want to abuse their power. Let's not forget his reactions when he was hit by the teacher and it became a running gag with Miae thinking he enjoys the pain - but if you reaaaaaally look at his expression and what he says about it the signs are all there, especially for those who have experienced similar treatment in the past. Jisu enduring all that might be his way of defiance for all we know. Considering that he has started to appear more since part2 and has been featured in ads and promotional arts, I would say his story will take central stage in part3 and will be the catalyst to Miae's growth as a person, in what exact way it remains to be seen.

Cheol and Miae will probably have an awkard relationship after the kiss without real resolution, but will still see each other in the summer. The bully from Cheol's old school will be back for sure, hopefully this time Cheol will ask help from his family and not act alone on the matter. I don't believe the academy kids will be featured that much, but I can imagine a Sora miniarc which could also take a darker turn. They will all have to say goodbye very soon with the end of the year approaching. I don't believe many of them will go to the same high school which ties to my theory that the story is about making connections in different parts of our lives. If Cheol chooses to go back to the countryside it won't be because he's still afraid and wants to hide from others - it will be because he likes being there. About Cheol and Miae the real question is whether they can grow together or if they have a different path they have to take. If it's not in the cards, it's not their fault, they are still kids after all. But if they are destined to be together I think the author will make them both mature together and communicate more about their feelings. I will be able to say more once the new season starts, but I guess these are the most important thematic points the story needs to address. :)

[basedkikuenjoyer]

HxH 404: The True King's Return

There is a guiding thread to this scattered chapter. Everything is moving forward to a big ol kerfuffle tomorrow night. Building off of the recent setup for Kacho/Fugetsu's team and their upcoming assassination attempt. But this time I want to try and cast a wide net instead of focusing on just the part that intrigues me the most.

Starting here. We have a very tense exchange between Kurapika and the Third Prince. A lot of it though is just making characters aware of stuff we already know. Very cool how Pika picks up on the First Prince's guard likely swiping an early coin. But we go over how Zhang Lei's power seems to work, reiterate it'll show its true strength after he wins the war, and reinforce that the mafia games on the lower decks matter here. Especially when Benjamin is looking for a good excuse to declare martial law. I'd also note here the worry that Second Prince Camilla will use the next round of nen lessons to strike at Woble with her curse-carriers. But this man ain't no main character, no that's coming up...

The #1 main man himself, Leorio! I can't believe this is the first time I get to really talk about him being here on the whale ship. And it's very little honestly. Just a reminder he's with Cheadle and part of this mission to finish off his medical training. Truth be told, I feel like he's just biding his time here to have a bigger role in the Dark Continent when we get there. Will Kurapika even continue on? Recall the plan is to dump most of the Kakin people on an island that's uninhabited but still a ways away from the actual DC. Morel will make good on being introduced as a deep sea hunter for the rest of the trip.

Still, this is around something very important. Halkenburg is taking a huge gamble right now. He swapped bodies through his power with one of Benjamin's guards. In true Togashi fashion we get a whole diatribe about how this works. He will have a limited time after his body dies to control the guard's body and from the sound of it thinks he can execute his master stroke in that frame. Looking at the timeframe, it seems to line up fairly well with when Kacho is planning to strike at Seventh Prince Luzurus. That's the running theme here, and something I've figured about the Succession Contest for a while. There'll be one big moment where everything comes to a head and winnows down the number of princes dramatically.

Meanwhile, #4 still seems to be engrossed with his nen training. Which is something I keep thinking about him. I get a lot of Meruem vibes out of Tserri the more we see of him. He's so powerful, so detached that the revelation of nen has finally given him something to capture his attention. Like Meruem when he finally met his match in Komugi. There was someone out there who could compete with him in some way, that knowledge consumed him.

We've had aspects of this series that hint that nen changes a person. Tserri is a very bored person when we meet him. Consistently this training with nen has solved that. I don't think he'll become a good guy through this, just that he may become a bit of an ascetic like Netero. Isaac, not Beyond. Though he may differ on the challenge of the Dark Continent. Honestly...that's kinda what I see out of him. He'll ultimately be willing to forsake the contest over the chance to explore the real mystery.

And to bring it all home, we have the announcement of Halkenburg's death and impending funeral procession. Which leads to a little update on the Troupe. Not much to say there, Feitan's pretty funny, but of course they're here and involved and could throw a huge wrench in the main plans if Kurapika goes a little nutty learning that.

[scalamore]

I guess I’m just really curious about the first TL Rupert. So in the manwha (I haven’t fully read the novel, only so much I could translate to understand), every time Lari remembers her first life, she always says that Rupert never spoke to her and barely made eye contact even during her trial. He also wasn’t fully in front of her when she was sent to the guillotine, and I guess through out of body says he doesn’t even look happy about her dying.

So I guess my question is: why did Rupert prolong her death so much? Why did he just leave her? In prison for months after he killed her whole family (no one knew her origins except a select few that are already dead), did he feel bad, or maybe he saw her as pitiful because she was just an innocent victim in the situation, or maybe I’m just thinking too much into it?

OOh i love discussing TL1 Rupert. Because we don't have much information about him at all, and Rupert and Lari's POV are just so contradictory. What I mean is Lari initially thought he was a psycho tyrant murderer, but then later thinks he's just a misunderstood guy she scapegoated, while we find out in S4 of the manhwa, that Rupert totally think it's 100% possible for him to be a psycho tyrant murderer :'D Short answer: I agree with all your thoughts! ^^ Long answer: Anyways yes, in TL1 Rupert and Lari didn't know each other at all, were in completely different social circles, and only exchanged like 2 sentences of formal greetings at her debutante. The main idea being they didn't know each other at all, and whatever opinion Lari had of him was her own conclusions about his character (that ironically, turned out to be right on the dot).

What I found interesting, was how she described him during the trial: He was sitting/standing a bit aways, observing her with a stern expression. He didn't seem happy - rather, indifferent. He didn't seemed at all pleased that she was being condemned. He also had an unusual "crooked grin" when they made eye contact, but the interesting part is she describes his "gentle green eyes that didn't match his violent personality"

This manhwa panel when they cross paths again at some point, also shows his overwhelming indifference, when she begs and screams at him yet he continues walking past her:

Here, on the day of her execution Lari imagines after her death - she imagines him being pleased, sneering and laughing at her. Yet the manhwa shows his expression as something more akin to that crooked grin from the trial - as if he felt pity for her and was laughing a "what a poor thing" laugh rather than a "hahaha serves you right" laugh. Hmmm...

Based on these clues from Lari's POV from TL1, and knowing Rupert's current personality (which has been established he's the same person but making different choices), it paints a picture that he's still the same indifferent person as ever, who doesn't care about those not involved in his circle/the people he trusts. He's the type to strike first before he gets hurt, and this is the same: he knew about Lari's origins, and got rid of her before she could become an obstacle. This is further supported by the upcoming Ch 118 when S4 is released: the novel version gives us Rupert's POV on what he thought of when he read Lari's diary detailing him as a psycho tyrant murderer. His response is pretty much "yeah, I can see myself doing that". Her descriptions of him brutally murdering the Empress, Arnulf and Grand Duke? Yup, he agrees he would do that. Executing House Belois for not only treason, but for hiding Akan's princess? Even if she didn't have any drop of actual royal blood, he would get rid of them all? Yup.

Because that was TL2 Rupert's original plan as well.

Recall manhwa chapter 45: Rupert had a hit-list of those around his age he needed to be wary of, and to get rid of some day if they continue to be a threat. He deemed Riche as not important, but Lari and Lehan were particularly troublesome. It's mentioned quite a few times, and finally directly in the next season, that Rupert believes he would have surely been such a murderous tyrant in TL2 if he had not met Lari. He could not refute the fact that "TL1 Rupert" wasn't him, because they shared the same methods/plans/thought process, and the only difference is because he knew Lari and was influenced by her in this timeline.

SO, going back to your question anon:

After RupeLali reunite, Rupert gives us a bit more of his POV regarding TL1: He admits that yes, he knows his own cruelty better than anyone, and to protect his throne he'll do ANYTHING, like completely eliminating his enemies.... but... he thinks MAYBE he had SOME hesitation too? I can't find the exact passage, but I'm fairly sure TL1 Rupert also knew that Lari was ignorant about the whole thing, but still ended up killing her. But in any case, I agree with your thought process. I believe House Belois was captured and killed quickly in March, while she was allowed to live outside at the manor until it was burned down and she was arrested soon after, and then executed in August. A reasonable conclusion is because TL1 Rupert felt some hesitation in killing an innocent, ignorant Lari. She's done nothing to warrant death, except by simply existing. That's why the trial was rigged: She was sentenced not only to death for being associated with House Belois's treason (which they were caught before they actually implemented it so it would make sense why it would be so hard to believe) as well as random excuses like "failing to act like a noble".

Yup look at that guilty judge making stuff up about her to sentence her to the guillotine >:( Again, if we take TL2 Rupert's character and project it onto TL1 Rupert, it's assumed he still has the basic personality trait of "not being bothered to harass, bother, or hurt others, because he doesn't care about them at all. He is not violent unless he's hurt first and retaliates." This also suggests that he might have delayed judgement on Lari because she's innocent, and he's actively punishing her... which would leave a bad taste in his mouth. But after thinking and pondering, he eventually makes his decision: he's a very careful guy, and he will prioritize his life/safety over the potential that Lari can somehow strike back and steal the throne back from him. HIS LIFE GOAL is the throne. Even if she doesn't know her own origins, and no one else knows as House Belois is gone, just the fact she has the blood of Akan is a threat enough, and he will get rid of her. Readers might also ask: Why doesn't TL1 Rupert just marry Lari to obtain legitimacy of the throne?

Simple answer: He would rather be alone than marry someone he doesn't trust. Lari is a nobody to him, so therefore she is out of the question. If anything, her legitimate bloodline is a threat to him, so she should be eliminated.

[dojae-huh]

Youth: first listen

First of all. It's the first time the parasocial relationship I have with Doyoung mutated into a parasocial friendship of sorts, heh. The feeling is of cheering for a friend's project's success. I guess it is for two reasons: 1) the reverse order of things (instead of "like a song (my choice, I'm the active party)->discover artist behind", it is "like an artist->listen to what he gives you (artist's choice, I'm a passive party)", 2) I have artist friends whose drawing style I'm not particularly a fan of (i.e. I wouldn't care for it if it was made by someone else, a noname to me), but I still follow and consume their art, because I care for people behind and I know the character/thoughts/POV of the artist, which changes my perceptions).

I've listened to the album only once by the time I'm writing this post. My first impession is that there are no weak songs (yokshi, perfectionist Doyoung), and that I'm glad it is more diverse in sound and voice modulations than Korean ballads and songs usually are. As I like richness in songs.

Me and some of the readers had been apprehensive of Doyoung catering to fans and going gp friendly road. Thankfully, Doyoung is a mastermind afterall. The album is both for the fans and the general public and for himself. Half/half.

The album seems to be divided in the following parts:

Prologue: Beginning and Little light.

The main character of a Disney animation movie sets on a journey. A proclamation of intent to sing for a long time, of a goal to reach as many "stars" (hearts/listeners). "Beginning" was penned by Do himself (and, honestly, really reminded me Mulan or Moana, heh). For "Little light" he befriended Lucy's composer (they are both 96-line, btw). Considering the timing, it seems to be one of the last songs to be added. A song Doyoung needed for his vision of the album. The song was gifted to him (the composer's words), written the way he commissioned it. In other words, it is his story and his feelings, he debuted with HIS song, even if written by someone else (but for him).

2. First chapter: A letter to fans.

"From little wave" has lyrics by Doyoung. It is a song for the fans, a message to them.

3. Second chapter: Friends. Dreams come true.

"Time machine" was written by Mark, he and Taeyeon featured. Do is a known SNSD fan, a fan of Taeyeon and her friend. Mark has been Do's favourite kid since pre-debut. When the news broke, fans immidiently remembered how Do gifted Mark notebooks for writing lyrics. Let's also remember how Do sent a food-truck to Mark's first solo MV, always hyped him on IG. I think Do supports Mark as a musician in particular. Mark is a rapper in NCT, however, he wants to sing with the guitar. And that what he did on the track. A step towards his own dream, him as a songwriter and singer.

Both collabs are very meaningful and have roots in the past.

The redheaded teenager who didn't know what to do really and his prodigy baby growing up and becoming world known artists.

Do already has songs with Haechan (Maniac, Coming home), plus Hyuk has started songwriting attempts much later than Mark. He is not ready yet. Taeyong is a different story, I will share my thoughts about it later.

"Time machine" sounds like a song that will be covered a lot on Korean shows by other artists. It has that appeal. It seems relatively easy to sing (or, rather, it can be re-arranged to be simpler), and it is fit for a duet.

Chapter 4: A song for the Boyfriend.

I agree that "Serenade" seems to be the song for Jaehyun. The sound Jae likes, the placement on the album (after "friends"). It is the only positive love song on the album. For Doyoung singing is personal. It is his dream, his calling. Therefore, I wasn't expecting a lot of individual attention for Jae (opposite can be said about the upcoming Jae's album). The album is not for him. He is part of "my youth" and "the sea/warmth", and he knows it. One song is enough.

The song feels more like a gift than a dedication, though. There is no intensity or rawness (like the cover of Buzzi's "Mine" had, heh).

Chapter 5: Gems.

"Rewind" and "Warmth" are the type of songs that are popular in Korea. Do did covers of similar songs. This sound is expected from him. These two love stories are "for fans and general public" songs. Personally selected, but not too personal. Just beautiful songs to sing. Both songs reflect general experiences of youth (first love/first relationships that didn't mean to be and being alone/looking for meaningful connections). "Warmth" kind of repeats the first songs thematically.

Chapter 6: Doyoung the band vocalist.

"Lost in California" and "Rest" are band songs. Back to school. These are songs for Doyoung himself. Do's long-lasting dream of singing with a band, singing under open air on festivals, being a rock-star. The first one is Do's "28 reasons", a song where he can have fun and play with vocals. "Rest" is also an inspirational, supportive song. The was Do always cheered his fans on, talked about that it's OK to rest on the floor for a bit and start anew the next day.

Chapter 7: NCT 127

"Dallas love field" (a name for a small airport, apparently) is a song fully made by Kenzie, Do's noona. So it was for him, no doubt. Maybe we will hear the story behind one day. The lyrics about "pain being beautiful" made me think back to the trainee days. Although the lyrics alone could be read as JaeDo-coded, the sound, the upbeat melody, the chorus of male voices on ''chasing dreams so far" make it 127. Rookies and their dreams of debut, neos and their dreams for solo careers, NCT and Dreams.

Funny enough. This song sounds like anime Ending, heh. The main character's promise "to be continued". I liked how Do gave us a new tone to his voice in this song.

[jooniperbonsai]

Thanks For The Sub | ksj (Teaser)

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Teaser length: 2378

Chapter One length: 11-14k

Release date: Fri. January 19, 2024.

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: After a clip of you sucking at video games goes viral, you've become somewhat famous, with thousands of subscribers now tuning in each week to see you play. Overnight, you've gone from a sexually frustrated grad student who reads smut in her room to a gamer girl (or rather, a not-gamer girl). This would have been the perfect job, except it was never the job you wanted. Desperate for money to pay for grad school, you bounce between your new gig and working at a local restaurant to pay the bills, where your hot coworker-now-boss Seokjin plays many of the lead roles in your sexual fantasies.

Seokjin, two years post losing his fiancé and job within the same day, is tired of the rut he's dug himself into and wants to start over. Now 30 years old, he's stuck managing his family's restaurant where he harbors an insanely inappropriate crush on you on top of carrying one hell of a secret: Seokjin is also known as Jin, a successful gay-for-pay camboy on the streaming site Worldwide Handsome.

When the stress of the upcoming semester and the pressure to stream becomes more than you can handle, you seek out some much-needed stress relief online, only to discover a man who looks a little too much like your boss is staring right back at you.

Warnings for Chapter One: Swearing, cheating (not between main characters), big age gap between lesser characters that can be uncomfy, sex work, gay sex work when the worker is actually not gay (but everyone is chill about it), feelings of shame and guilt, feelings of failure/depression, the existential crisis of your late-20s/30s that we all seem to go through, off-handed references to kpop culture including fanfics because I'm a clown and need to call us out sometimes, silly literary tropes, references to pregnancy, boss-employee power dynamics, allusions to queer BTS members or relationships, cameos of au Seventeen Members (Wonwoo and y/n are besties). NSFW sex stuff: big dick Seokjin (of course), f/m masturbation, dirty talk, sex toys, kink exploration, uh a lot cum (sorry), I mention the omegaverse as a joke, a sparkly pink dildo, seokjin has a massive collection of toys and he intends to use them, seokjin and reader are constantly horny, reader is kind of inexperienced, implied exhibitionism, implied voyeurism, implied public sex.

a/n: hello! i haven't written fanfic in years! I've been wanting to get back into it for a long time but I also work full time and am working on a poetry manuscript so this never manifested! This fic is inspired by a combination of fics from the lovely writing community on here, with a lot of inspiration coming from "tip 143 (for ∞ seconds of love)" by minilouvre on ao3. I feel like the camboy/person trope is so fun to explore and I wanted to try my own take on it with our Seokjin, who doesn't seem to get as many fics written about him but absolutely deserves it. I also wanted to create space for a fic that explores the weird transition of late 20s-30s that both BTS and I (and maybe many of you) have experienced in the last few years. I hope you enjoy!

xo - h

The alarm on your phone chimes, pulling you from the book in your lap. You’d been reading all afternoon, the sun now taking its final bow before plunging the world into darkness. Soon you’ll have to turn the lights on, then it will be time for work. On your only day off. 

You groan, stretching your neck as you allow yourself to come back to reality. 

To some, it would be hard to call your job “work”. Many people dream of being professional game streamers. Who wouldn’t want to be paid to sit online, play games, and talk to people? 

You don’t. That’s the problem. 

Your ascent into gaming stardom was a fluke. About 9 months ago, you were in between semesters for your grad program and looking for ways to unwind. Your oldest friend, Wonwoo, was a pretty successful streamer who often hosted game nights to play with his viewers and friends. 

You frequently watched his streams, letting his soft voice be the perfect background noise as you studied and formulated the next lesson plan or behavioral assessment. You’d known Wonwoo for what felt like forever at this point, being his first subscriber, first moderator, and first kiss (not in that order). But your middle school kiss outside of the convenience store never led to anything more than that, as desperately as you’d wanted it to. 

Once he moved across the country, you let your crush die with the distance. The years turned faster and your twenties were spinning by with the revolving door of lovers you’d watch him pine over, cry over, and in one case, almost marry. Streaming then became one of your main forms of connection, and your role as his moderator tied some part of you to him out of loyalty. To imagine him as anything other than a friend now feels ridiculous. 

But that loyalty you have is also to a fault. When Wonwoo’s usual streaming friends bailed one night during a tournament, you subbed in…for a game you didn’t even know how to play. 

And to make matters worse, this was a game that required talking to each other on-stream, which meant you not only sucked major ass at this game, but Wonwoo’s 700 viewers that day were also subjected to your constant frustrated squeaks, swears, and embarrassed maws as you tried to key-smash your way to victory but ended up throwing the entire team’s game with your incompetence. 

Wonwoo wasn’t mad, though many others were. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed, and his streams operated with very few rules: no hate, no spam, and we are in this to have fun. And he did have fun. By the time the first round was over, he and most of the chat were losing it over your commentary. 

As he wiped tears from eyes and took in a breath, he read his comments. “‘Damn, I never heard a chick threaten someone with a plunger like that before’. Yeah, I’ll give it to you, Y/N, you got really creative with your insults in that. Hey, PartyShitty thanks for the sub! ‘I can’t BREATHE’, yeah I’m still trying to get it together. W00000000000000000ziiiiii–damn that’s a lot of zeros in that username–thanks for the 5000 points! ‘Is she hot’ uh, I mean, I don’t— 

“Oh shit, LetsGetIt15, thank you for gifting twenty subs! ‘Please, Y/N, start your own channel. I’ll be the first subscriber.’ Actually, no, I’ll be. But really, that's not a bad idea.”

Wonwoo navigated the rest of his stream with ease that night, but after it was over, he called you to try to convince you to start your own channel. 

“It could help with school at least! Or you could get that special edition of that one book you like with the dragons or the blue alien porn stars or whatever it is.”

“They’re neither of those things, they’re actually–”

“Whatever they are! The book that has people fucking nonstop and some plot. You know, the special edition cover that you keep talking about in your close friend story that you won’t buy?” Wonwoo said. “The point is, if you start streaming you could finally buy it and then stop talking about it and I won’t need to see sections about how hot you think their alien or fairytale or demon whatever cocks are.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his exasperation. “That won’t stop with me getting that book, just so you know. And if it bothers you so much, I can take you out of the close friend story. I didn’t even know you looked at my stories that much.” You didn’t know he still used Instagram at all actually. He very rarely posted. He mostly lived on his Discord channel talking about games with his subscribers or other friends.

Regardless, it was nice to know that he was trying to be aware of your interests, even if it was incredibly embarrassing. Although the copious amount of smut you read wasn’t something you always wanted to broadcast to the public, you’d still made some friends from online book communities over the last few years and enjoyed keeping them in the loop of your reading list.

Also, Wonwoo had a point. Streaming could help paying some of your school expenses…or get you more books. You told him you’d think about it, and while you weren’t completely in love with the idea of streaming, it did provide you with some steady income until you landed your job at the restaurant.  

After that conversation, you haven’t discussed smut or cocks since, and you’re honestly relieved, not because Wonwoo is hard to talk to about things, but because you are. Which is why streaming always feels a little uncomfortable and your position ironic, because you can barely have conversations successfully unless you really know the person to ramble about your interests to, or you can occasionally eke by with small talk. 

But streaming requires the spotlight being on you in some way at all times. It’s your face that is fixed to the corner of the screen, monitoring your every reaction. It’s your voice that echoes into the mic and responds to your chat. Sure, you have mods and some streamers don’t interact with their chat at all, but you don’t want to be like that. You’ve been on the other side before, and know that most people are just lonely and looking for connection. . 

From the moment you decided to do this, you were aware that because you were now a “gamer girl” you would be subjected to the three extremes of the comment section: chronic oversharers who tell strangers all their personal baggage perhaps in the hope that you will assume some role of therapist to them, people coming to insult your gaming (which is the point so that can’t impact you) or physical appearance, or sexually explicit comments. 

Over the months, you’ve seen many things flitting by on the screen, deleted in haste by your trusty mod squad, but it doesn’t stop the fact that you still see them. 

Those things you can handle. They are impersonal and a direct copy-paste of the same thing.

But when people compliment you? That makes you want to bury yourself under your covers and never come out. Because the compliments are always personal and touching a part of you that is authentic.

The people in your chat want to know you. They want to know what kind of music you like, your favorite foods and books. They ask if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner, compliment your hair or the shirt you’re wearing or your gaming setup. It feels intimate. Almost like you could find these people and touch them and let them know you. 

But they can’t. Because the only thing that drew them to you, the part where you’re this funny, positive gamer chick who sucks at video games but is down for whatever, isn’t real. 

Spring Day Streams Y/N is a persona. You don’t stream because you’re her. You stream because you have to be her in order to survive.  

And now she’s taking up more time. Last month’s streams landed you Streamer of the Month, which thanks to the exposure, brought dozens of new subscribers and thousands of points, and that helped take care of some of your expenses for the new semester. Some. You’re still behind on your credit card bill. 

Also, more people means more expectations for streaming. So you’ve kicked up your streaming schedule from twice weekly to three times a week, with you occasionally hopping onto Wonwoo’s channel even if you aren’t streaming to mod. 

When you aren’t glued to your computer, you’re usually at the restaurant, in a cramped kitchen where you do the prep work, often alongside him, your sexy coworker-but-now-boss, Seokjin. 

The man you are quietly obsessed with. You can’t think about Kim Seokjin without thinking about all the positions you want him to fuck you in. 

Which is also why you’ve been devouring books lately. When you’re home, you throw all your energy into the escapism they provide, especially ones where you can get yourself off to whatever fantasy Seokjin effortlessly slips into. 

For every hot mob boss, corrupt CEO, longterm best friend, dragon-rider, fairy, demon, alien, ghost, or hockey playing love interest you can find, Seokjin is sure to fill the role. A hot merman looking for someone to help him grow legs and something else? Seokjin. A Grinch who inherits his family’s Christmas tree farm and discovers how much he loves to ho ho ho? Seokjin. A god who tears apart the underworld to find his lost lover, and then during the reunion fucks her on the throne of Satan while she wears the crown? All Seokjin. 

Unfortunately, his transition from co worker to boss has made your fantasies all the more dirty. 

It’s been incredibly difficult for you to handle the fact that any flirtation you two previously shared in the months before he was your boss can no longer continue. But it’s also incredibly hot.

Fantasies of him eating you out on the counter have been replaced with the fantasy of him shoving you in the back office and fucking you on the desk while wearing one of those perfect-fitting dress shirts he often parades around in. 

And when he rolls up the sleeves to help in the kitchen? Fuck, it’s humiliating how wet you get.

The entire thing is pathetic really. He’s just standing there half the time, lecturing everyone on proper kitchen hygiene and ensuring one of the cooks doesn’t use expired seasonings for his eomma’s secret sauce. 

And you’re standing next to him clenching your thighs together because when you’re this close, you can just make out the freshness of his cologne and feel the heat of his body close to yours. 

When someone fucks up, he has a tendency to take over, chopping with unmatched precision and self assurance, trying to keep his voice even and usually failing as everything builds in intensity until he’s accidentally speaking at a million miles an hour and lecturing until his face turns red. 

If someone were to pass by the shop, they’d probably mistake his shouting for anger, but you’ve come to understand Seokjin is just passionate about things. Usually when he comes down from his tangent, he’s embarrassed and apologizes, and not long after the entire staff is laughing along with him as he cracks a joke at himself for his inability to tone it down.

Which to you makes him even hotter. Seokjin is able to see his faults and work with them, not against them. He holds himself accountable. He’s nothing like the haughty men you’ve gone on brief dinners with after downloading dating apps for the hundredth time while you’re drunk. He’s actually funny, knowing the right way to use humor and tell jokes, never at someone else’s expense, and definitely without being disgustingly crude. 

All those clowns you suffered through drinks with always made comments and digs at other women or referenced their cock like they were setting up some goofy scene from porn and you would find it hilarious and endearing. 

Seokjin isn’t like that at all. He probably refers to his dick as a penis and would blush to high heavens if he knew how horny you are for him. He’s unwound you, and he has no clue. Maybe if it hadn’t been literal years since you’ve last had sex you could tone it down. 

With working all the time and going to school, it’s already been hard to even go on singular dates here and there. And since the prospects were frankly awful, sex is just something that has had to go onto the back burner for a bit, but you seemed to scorch the fucking pan by forgetting to turn the heat off and now you are burning and hungry. 

With a final sigh, you put the book down, annoyed that you didn’t have time to finish it today or at least get to a good part where you could insert yourself into the role of the palace servant and Seokjin as the Prince. Based on the reviews, there’s sure to be a hot sex scene coming up involving using a sword in a particular way that has piqued your curiosity. 

In a moment of depravity earlier, you’d snaked one hand down the front of your panties to rub a few damp fingers around your clit to take the edge off. 

You check the time on your phone, already aware that you don’t have time to cum before streaming. You already hit the snooze button twice. The spicy stuff will have to wait. 

Defeated, you stand up, turning on the lights in your apartment as the sun finally fades away and the dark creeps in. You eat a bowl of cereal while doing your makeup, what little of it you want to put on. Finally, you fire up your PC, trying to ignore the irritation you’re already experiencing from being so high strung and unsatisfied.

The second this stream is over, you’re going to make sure you cum until you pass out. Until then, it’s time for work.

©2024 by jooniperbonsai

[unolvrs]

UPCOMING WORKS? PLEASE? IF THERE AREN'T ANY, IT'S OKAY TOO!

uhh, there are both upcoming works and upcoming updates! i have sneak peeks for each one! but here they are:

少年A　（jjk ft. male!reader; possibly megumi/reader）

In a remote village in Sapporo, a thirteen-year-old first year student in an unnamed junior high school allegedly killed three classmates known to bully his best friend who they had driven to suicide. (Or, none of that is true.)

少年A (or: Boy A) was initially made as an OC out of nowhere. i shared him to a few friends before i realized that the set-up of him being nameless and just being called 'Boy A' was perfect for a reader-insert. and before i knew it, i was already writing everything down and it was really, really fun. the term 「少年A」 is something akin to 'John Doe' and it's mostly a name used to minors involved in a crime. there are lots of criminal 「少年A」 in japan so if you want to read about them, i'd give you a big trigger warning because the most well-known 「少年A」 was involved a horrific case.

2. among dawn flowers (the face of god), an extra chapter

i always get notifications about comments concerning dawn flowers and i've read all of them. thank you for your very kind words! they make me feel very happy every time i read them :D i'll be replying to them soon. but the most common comment is about gojō's... well, reaction to everything and what he truly felt for the main character, and there were a couple of misunderstandings in the comments too. i would normally just leave the misunderstandings be to let people have their own interpretation but i've been getting lots of comments and DMs about dawn flowers all the time, so this extra chapter happened. it has the following AUs too:

zen'in naoya marries tengai-san instead

tengai-san survives

tōji snatches up tengai-san (not at all romantic but a found family of sorts because their dynamics are really interesting! because they're the people who neither needs the least!)

and idk, maybe some more? i'll be reading through the comments again!

3. kirigakure-centric naruto fic

“Kirigakure didn’t need help. They needed salvation.”  No one knows anything about the Mizukage. Only that she’s kind. She likes to smile. She likes seafood like every other Mizu-born. And that there’s something inexplicably wrong with her. There’s something wrong with the Mizukage whom the Kiri-nin call a ‘god’. —or, Wataru Wataru was never really a powerhouse, in this life or the last, but she’s resourceful. She knows cults, pyramid schemes, and corrupt politicians like the back of her hand, so of course, she becomes the Mizukage and becomes a god along the way.

it's highlighted because it's undergoing editing... but yes, the mizukage cultist fic that i was talking about a month ago. it currently has four chapters in my drafts. i'm testing the waters on whether or not i can maintain it. so far, i have everything planned... like the timeline... it's too detailed.

4. shintō pjo fic

Beyond the eastern seas, Sen'no Hyōran wages a one-man war. (Or, if all she needs is the Golden Fleece, if all she needs is to steal that damned thing, then she will. Those Greeks standing in her way or not.)

YES IT'S HAPPENING OK!

of course, there's also the writing of kill the goose (3 chapters in my drafts now!), rain on my parade (a very slow rewriting), sunday without god (i wrote the next chapter and it was too long like 8k words and i'm not even halfway done so i'm stuck)! and posting some comm'd works that have been rotting in my drive for months!

some possible fics but no promises:

floating blue (nanami/reader)

Aoi's josei romance manga life starts when she's saved by Nanami Kento after almost falling down the train tracks! (Or, it turns out that Aoi is the main character of a supernatural josei manga! She's so excited!)

starts off as a cliché josei manga set-up bc aoi is a josei manga protagonist! then turns deep :D might become a reader-insert instead but without the [name] insert things. just second pov. this was really meant to be a rom-com than a sudden "omg! i'm in a supernatural josei manga!" might write bc it's a cute concept.

the prostitution of learning (jjk & male!oc)

There is no other main character but Kikuchi Eita. (Or, defeating enemies, exorcizing Curses, facing conservative higher-ups, there’s no adversity that Kikuchi Eita cannot push through because Kikuchi Eita is the main character. That is until Itadori Yūji.)

i made this guy before 少年A and while eita is my favorite oc i've ever created in jjk, 少年A's story is easier to write. but the prostitution of learning is a bit more complicated even just with eita's planned CT and while i'd love nothing more than to write this one, idk if i'd have the time but i really want to!

willow diaries / 柳日記 (kakashi/oc)

Kakashi gets a nobleman's concubine pregnant. Whoops. (Or, I no Yanagihaya's honorable brother-in-law said to surprise him. She did.)

first of all, it's not cheating or infidelity. said nobleman is dead. anyway, i think this is the most likely to be written bc i've written the first chapter a hundred times but couldn't get satisfied. anyway, this one's fun. and i love civilian ocs! especially writing nobility. the research was a pain but i loooove this one.

pls... don't ask me about frog in a well :"") i'm working on it! idk, froggie's become that weird cousin idk if i wanna talk to or not. it's awkward between the two of us right now bc ik i could start writing the chapter anytime and get it done and over it quickly but i've been lazy and focusing on other stuff hehe &lt;3

[randum-famdoms]

HEY IMPORTANT POST ABOUT MY P5 FANFIC!!!!

It’s a long one so I’m adding a cut for people who don’t read my fic <3

TLDR: do you want a side fic which is a series of one-shots showing an alternate timeline of my main fic which includes the Royal characters Sumire and Maruki?

That fic would not be written for a while, due to time and other factors, but I want to gauge interest early on so I can make an outline

More details below ⬇️

—

So I don’t plan on including the Royal characters or yaldy/god (I don’t feel like googling how to spell his name) in my fic (dw I already have an explanation for the velvet room that doesn’t include the evil god) in my main fic

I have several reasons, but it all boils down to the fact that their storylines don’t fit well with my vision for the fics themes and plot. It would be interesting, but it would feel too much like trying to fit two separate fics together and would end up dragging both sides down and creating a worse overall whole. My fic is primarily about akechi and Akira’s stories, and that story ends at Shido. Adding on anything else would simply not work.

But I LOVE Sumire so so much, and maruki is fine I guess, so I’m debating on whether to include an alt-timeline side fic (wayyyyy down the line when I have time and at least 15 chapters pre written in the main fic) where I include Sumire and maruki. It would be like a one-shot series, since if I wrote a whole ass fix it would A) be way too fucking long, and B) really boring because not much would change between it and the main fic

I’d either post it all consecutively over a few weeks, or a new chapter alongside whatever chapter in the main fic lines up with the alt chapter in the timeline.

Also don’t plan on including yaldy except if it’s super vague and I don’t include the fight scene cause I think it’s boring and I hate writing fight scenes anyway.

To give an idea about what the fic would look like, here’s some ideas I’ve come up with for one shots in the side fic below:

—

Maruki’s dream lives for the mains (aka the canon PTs + Sumire + Mishima

maruki’s dream-verse waking up scenes

How Sumire meets akira and Mishima and they be fired her and introduce her to akechi and they become a big depressed dysfunctional family

Sumire persona awakening (it’d be different from canon)

Sumire being a sort of work-for-hire persona user that works with the main trio when they need more hands, but who doesn’t usually work with them since she’s so busy

Sumire accidentally being adopted by akechi and futaba as a third sibling (none of them are happy about it except Sumire even tho she’s not the one that instigated this dynamic)

Sumire becoming good friends with ryuji and shiho because she’s just so much fun to work out with and she makes the physical therapy tolerable (this ends up making her Ann’s favourite [after shiho of course])

Futaba high-key judging maruki because she remembers enough from her mom to know that he is NOT a qualified person to be talking about psychology, not to mention working with children as a therapist

Maruki tells Mishima to get more sleep and Mishima is soooo offended by that, and then after the dream-verse is even more offended because HELL FUCKING NO HE DOESNT WANT WHATEVER SLEEP THIS CREEP IS TRYING TO SELL HIM

—

I’ll include a shorter version of this post in the end notes of the upcoming chapter alongside a link to this post, but please let me know if you want to see this fic become a real thing.

Regardless it’ll be a WHILE, I’m already super busy and adding a whole new fic on top of that will be a big deal, and I haven’t even got an outline yet plus most of these one shots would take place a whiles a way down the timeline and I’d rather have a grasp on what that would look like in the main fic before I add a second layer of canon divergence on top of that.

Anyway sorry for the long post, love y’all!

[keyboardwhisperer]

WIP chapter 2: “Save yourself.”

It’s been a while since I posted chapter 1, but I finally finished chapter 2!

Anyways, I think this chapter came out really really good.

In chapter 1, I introduced the characters and the main premise of the story. Devlin, a small town sheriff was blackmailed into marriage by his parents, but is unwilling to. So he finds himself a mail-order bride as a quick fix to his desperate situation. This chapter however, is not a direct continuation, but introduces Irene, who decides to marry herself off to Devlin. This chapter focuses on the events leading to her drastic decision.

St. Louis, Missouri, 1870

Internal monologue:

“All these years alone, I was always waiting for someone, waiting for something. Anyone, or anything at all to save me. To take me away anywhere, anywhere at all. Just, not here. I just want to be far away from here.”

“Every day of every week, I was nothing to everyone and something to no one. I’ve only wanted to be something. I’ve only wanted to be someone. I’ve tried so desperately hard to step out of the shadow, running even, but the spotlight would never stop moving away. Everyone would always have nice words for my sisters. But who would ever have any for me? Between Ingrid’s accomplishments and Iris’s upcoming wedding, I stood in the middle, where I had nothing but attempts at becoming something.”

“It’s in poor taste, I know that. But if no one is ever coming to take me elsewhere, then I’ll just have to give myself away. Maybe it’s insane, maybe I’m insane. But I'll be damned if I have to sit through my sister’s wedding knowing that I could’ve been anywhere else.”

Retaliation, it’s something as old as time can tell. For Irene Wintermeyer, it was something very new. Yet she had in mind one so drastic, it would shatter the picture perfect image of everyone around her. But could she have known that they would be letting her down, even in retaliation?

The city was a big place, but for Irene, it was as small as a townhouse. Because her life in st. Louis doesn’t exist outside her front door. She has had glimpses of the busy everyday life through her window. From the windowsill, the crowds walk up and down the little streets like a line of ants, while horses pacingly trod through the main roads. Irene would look on the streets below, and discover a group of people who lived life in a straight line. She would often try to see how many strangers would stop amidst the moving crowds to wave to another, or if horses could go any faster than trodding pacingly.

Irene doesn’t stop at the fridge six times a day to see if anything new appeared. Instead, she frequents the linen closet. She spends more time looking for stains than actually scrubbing, and spends more time waiting to wax the floor again than actually waxing. Feeling squeaky clean was one of the only ways she kept herself from scratching at the walls.

That was until this afternoon, when Irene didn’t even bat an eye at the linen closet. Because it wasn’t something that needed polish, it was her.

She was sliding her dress hangers on the wardrobe rail from one side to another. Sifting through the many dresses. Linen, silk, cotton and satin. With each hanger that passed through her hands, came a sigh. She walked to and from, between the mahogany closet and the standing mirror, eyeing harshly on each dress she draped over her body.

After going through half her wardrobe, she couldn’t help but breath out in frustration. Even the one dress she could always use as a last resort had failed to stay draped on her for long before being tossed onto the bed like all the other dresses.

It wasn’t something about the dresses that looked wrong in her eyes. But it was something about her sister in a white dress she just couldn’t let go.

Irene was full of grunts as she shoved the many dresses back into her closet and slammed it shut. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep, counting to five. The same thing she always did to regain her frozen smile. Every visit to the powder room, every time she needed to freshen up, she would do it all again and come right out with the same smile she had five seconds ago. She would find herself counting very often, because she was too afraid of what would come out instead of the smile.

This time tomorrow, she will have to see her younger sister get married. She lifted open her windowsill, leering at the city streets lining in straight lines beneath the tall buildings. Her eyes half closed with a slight tension between her eyebrows. Her lips opened ajar, slightly quivering alongside heavy sighing. She couldn’t wait for it to be over, but she couldn’t want more for today to last forever. As long as she can still count to five, she can still keep her smile during the ceremony tomorrow. Or so she thought.

Irene was on her knees scrubbing at the hardwood floor back and forth. Next to her was a bucket of soapy water and a bottle of white vinegar. The sandy rasp of scrubbing was her calm, the white noise that drowned out all other thoughts. Which is helpful for Irene, whose thoughts are almost always heavy with something.

Her only moment of quiet peace was cut short when the front door banged open.

“Irene!” It was her mother, whose jovial voice rang throughout the house. “When was the last time I came home with you anywhere else but the floor next to a bucket.” She kidded.

“It needs more soap.” Irene murmured, not looking up from the floor.

“Well,” her mother chuckled, “It’s not like the floor needs it once every day. I think we spend more on soap and vinegar than we did when we hired help.” She joked.

“Why should we hire help?” Irene continued to scrub. “We both know I would just come down to do it, correctly, after the help leaves.” She said with a low grunt in her voice. Her eyes glued to the floor beneath her, grinding the floor brush against the hardwood surface in silence. Her mother leaned over to peek at her face.

“Something bothering you?” She responded to Irene’s silence.

“Perhaps.” Irene sat up and turned to her mother, “I just couldn’t wait for tomorrow to be over.”

“Oh,” Her mother smiled wryly, “I’m nervous too, Irene. Watching your sister grow up has made me dread tomorrow more than I thought I would. Oh, if only you knew how your father feels about giving away his little girl. It’s like a very big piece of our heart is going away.” She sighed from her smile.

“Is that so?” She put away her brush. “I can only imagine what that must be like.” She pushed herself up, taking the bucket with her elsewhere.

Her mother was still oblivious to what Irene really meant, most people are. It’s not the way she says it, it’s the way she doesn’t. Because no matter how deeply upset she was, even if she could snap like a twig, the words out of her mouth were still pleasant. And that vague and distant smile, never clued anyone in.

Before today, Irene thought she heard it all. That was up until evening came. It started with a big family dinner, bright with the light of who knows how many lamps and chandeliers. She went in already expecting the worst, but she would be surprised instead.

It all unfolded when Irene welcomed her relatives, before she could finish her greeting, everyone pushed through her and the door looking for Iris—while her uncle Horace mistook her for the door girl. It was then made clear to her that perhaps the living room is not where she should be.

“Aren’t you excited?” Her cousin Grace slipped into the kitchen. “Everyone is in the other room with a drink in their hands. It’s like you want to miss out!”

“I’m quite busy.” Irene carefully nudged small pieces of food around a silver tray. “Are you here to help, or are you here just to check up on me?” She gave a passing glance.

“Someone should.” Grace approached with a mellow voice. “Because you’re here cutting up finger sandwiches when everyone else has a drink in their hands.”

“I’m perfectly alright.” Irene buttered the slices of bread, eyes glued to the cutting board.

“Come on, please. Just speak to me.” Grace leaned towards Irene from the other side of the kitchen island. “You don’t seem perfectly alright. Not to me. I’ve seen you smile enough times to know what it really means.”

Irene put down the knife in her hand and took out a small dish of something green, her smile still bright.

“This sandwich calls for some fresh parsley.” Irene sprinkled some into the mayonnaise. “But sometimes, I don't think I should even go through the trouble of chopping them up. The sandwich does just fine without the parsley. No one notices the parsley. People only care for the eggs, the ham, or the tomatoes. It's a party all on its own *without* the parsley. It wouldn’t make any difference if I sprinkled some, or none at all. Perhaps you could tell when it's not there, but as long as all the other stuff is, no one's going to ask where it went.” She picked the knife back up and placed a tomato on the cutting board, slicing it julienne.

“For what it’s worth,” Grace fiddled her hands, “I think the parsley should be there anyways. I think the parsley shouldn’t just *not* be in there with everything else because it’s not the ham, or the eggs. If you don’t feel happy putting parsley in the sandwich, that’s alright. But something’s going to be missing, and you’ll know that something **is missing. Well I don’t know about you, but I know I will.”

The knife in Irene’s hand froze half way into a tomato. For a moment, Irene paused. Her ‘smile’ faded. It did occur to her that she could just stay in the kitchen like this every time she had company, and no one would ask for her. But she will always be aware that she’s alone, knowing she could have walked through the door and chose not to be. It had just occurred to her that she could be next to nothing and be in the picture, or next to nothing and all alone.

It was a short moment when Irene froze. Bringing herself out of her own head, she dug the knife through the rest of her half sliced tomato. Grace made her way around the kitchen island.

“I know it’s hard on you.” Grace held Irene’s shoulders. “But if you decide to watch Iris get married, then I’ll sit right next to you. You know it’s the right thing to do.”

Irene knew Grace was right. When your family is getting married, you owe it to them to attend their wedding. She didn’t owe anything to Iris, but she would look like the worst hypocrite to not attend when her whole family endorses family values. So perhaps she ought to be in the picture starting this evening.

With two trays of finger sandwiches perfectly lined, Grace strode out head first to lead Irene, who cautiously swept her glance through the many faces.

Irene wouldn’t know what to do without her cousin Grace. She was the only person who could see Irene as a whole person, and not a disembodied smile with no past, no future. No matter what bothered her, Grace never fell apart. She’s strong. She’s not resilient, no. As a matter of fact, Irene has seen her temper many times. But Grace always has a way of bouncing back up. It’s easy to see that she’s often caught being too into the moment, but it’s even easier to see how she never lets her day get ruined.

She was many things to Irene. Someone to depend on would be the simplest way to describe it. And she would continue to be just that for this evening, until its bitter end.

Irene came into the living room walking half a step at a time. Looking left and right, unsure of her place in this picture. With only Grace to drag her across the room by the arm and pull her into new conversations, Irene thought for sure she would stumble and fall either in conversation, or on the floor.

In the span of evening until later that same evening, Irene would have spoken with her relatives more times than she had ever spoken to them in the last couple of years. For a moment, it was novel to hear the sentence, “How are things with you?” It wasn’t like she had never heard these words, only that they seem slightly out of place.

By the time the clock hands pointed nine, the thought of being forgotten had ironically been forgotten. For the first time in forever, Irene had an expression of joy. Not frozen, nor carefully crafted. It was the kind of smile that showed through her eyes, not just the corners of her mouth.

Then, a clinking of glass and silverware caught the attention of everyone. It was Thomas Wintermeyer who was prepping everyone for his toast. Irene didn’t pay much mind to her father’s speech at first. In fact, she had let go of her disdain in the spirit of celebration.

“We are all gathered here tonight,” his voice boomed out loud and clear, “to share a splendid evening with Iris for the last time as a single woman. Because tomorrow onwards, we will be having splendid evenings with her, as a married woman. I cannot begin to express my pride in her, as well as heartache to see her leave home.

He continued to give his speech. Family members held their drinks, waiting to raise their glasses. Looking around the room, some clutched their hands over their hearts. Some had bittersweet expressions of joy, while some smiled through small tears. And there was Irene, who found herself doing the same. Holding Grace’s hand to her chest. For once, she could smile with the rest of her family. Not that she found a reason to do so, but because she couldn’t find a reason not to. But a reason would come flying at her soon enough.

“I am proud to call these three as my daughters.” Thomas looked over at each of his daughters. “Ingrid, I cannot believe how far she has come. For those who have read last week’s paper, she was praised for her humanitarian efforts. I am proud to have raised her so well. Iris, who had come to celebrate the arrival of her wedding with us. If Honor and I knew that it would be like giving away a piece of our heart, we wouldn’t agree to give her away to the Wickhams in the first place.” He chuckled wryly. “And of course, we must not forget Irene. Cheers.”

Thomas raised his glass, followed by everyone else doing the same. Cheers and congratulations filled the room completely. And that was it. The end of Thomas’s speech.

There it was, the reason not to smile she thought would never come. Her name was the only thing her father mentioned in his speech about her. She was always aware that she didn’t stand out much from the crowd. But just now, it felt like she wasn’t even in the crowd itself. In that moment, she felt even less than next to nothing. Because that’s what his speech told her, that she really was nothing.

Caught off guard, even when she knew she shouldn’t have expected anything. But she let herself do it anyway. That’s when she looked around the room and realized something.

As long as she is still here, and as long as she is still Irene Wintermeyer, she couldn’t find a place for herself. Not even in her father’s speech. Maybe there’s no place for parsley in this sandwich. There never has been.

“Everything alright?” Grace pulled Irene by the wrist. “You’re clenching my hands awfully tight.”

Irene was looking down at her feet. She turned her gaze up. Her eyes darted around the room. Looking for something she couldn’t find, all over again.

“I can’t stay here.” Irene shook her head. “I’ve tried, I really have. But I can’t rebuild myself back up just for it to be like this all over again. I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t. I can’t find myself here, Grace. I’ll never stop demanding more of myself, trying to be demanded of something by someone. And I’m tired of asking myself for things I can’t find here, things I can’t find in st. Louis.” She looked up at Grace, her eyes almost glittering with tears.

“Irene…” Grace held up her other hand to hold Irene’s clenched fist. “What are you saying?”

When Irene told her cousin what it was that she planned to do on a moment’s whim, Grace couldn’t oppose the idea. Because even though it was ugly, even though it was something so out of line that she wouldn’t even agree to, Grace knew deep down that Irene deserved most to live on her own terms.

That night, Irene went to bed, but she couldn’t go any further than just lying in it. Because even if it was some sick joke that entered her mind for just a minute, it didn’t leave her head since then. It stayed there with her, asking her if she thought about it, then could she want it? Before she knew it, and before any time at all, it made a home in her head.

Irene Wintermeyer had no one to save her. She was constantly alone even when surrounded by people. And for the longest time she asked, *why can’t I save me?*

It won’t be until three weeks after Iris’s wedding that something eventful happened. A ray of sunlight beamed down on the kitchen island’s granite surface. The smell of fragrant tea wafted in the air. Floral, fruity, and citrusy scents filled the room warmly. Yet the air is thick with tension.

“I can’t believe it.” Grace stared at the reflection in her cup. “So you’re really seeing this to the end?”

“Yes, and so are you.” Irene took a sip. “You were there when I put up my ad in the papers.”

“I just hope you find whatever it is you look for.” Grace reached for Irene's hands. “So what is it, really?”

“Someone.” Irene gazed at the window, but she stared a thousand yards away. “Someone who wants me around. Someone who sees me. Someone who could see the difference it makes when I’m not there. All my life, no one could be this for me but you. But it’s too hard to be here, surrounded by a whole crowd of people who aren’t. And it doesn’t make it better that these people are my family.”

“But you don’t have to do this.” Grace cried out. “I didn’t stop you that night because I thought you'd be happier somewhere else, but it’s getting too real. Since you put up the ad, I have to stop here everyday to see if it’ll be the last time we share this kitchen together. Because I didn’t stop you then when I could have, and now you’re one phone call away from moving out.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that any moment, any day now, you could pick up the phone and there wouldn’t be tomorrow for us anymore.” Grace's eyes watered, her voice croaked in efforts to hold her griefs inside. “You’d be marrying some man—who you don’t even know—who I don’t even know! I won’t know if you’d be safe. I won’t know if you’d be happy. I couldn’t sleep these past few nights because how could I? How could I sleep when all I could think of is if you’d still be there answering the door when I knock?” She held Irene’s hand tightly. Letting out small hics through her breaking voice.

Tears rolled down Grace’s cheeks. For her, it could have been a real goodbye. But Irene knew nothing about the goodbye was final. Not yet anyways.

“I’m sorry.” Irene sighed. “I’m so sorry. I thought it’d be easier to leave this way.”

“I don’t think it’s easy.” Grace wiped away the tears from under her eyes. “I think it’s the hardest thing to do, ever. Maybe this is you saving yourself. Maybe this is the ending you needed to write for yourself, and starting to write it was the hardest thing you could have ever done. I just couldn’t help but worry about your life for you.”

Irene sat there in silence. Nothing written on her face, not even a single teardrop. Because for Irene, that goodbye wasn’t real. Because she *knew* she wouldn’t be going anywhere yet. Because before she could decide whether or not to really leave, she needed to know how much she was begged to stay. And when her parents came home from a dinner party, it was time to test the waters.

“I was hoping we could speak.” Irene stood beneath the door frame between the foyer and the living room.

“Is it important dear?” Her mother sighed out a yawn. “We’d rather be resting right about now. The Hendersons’ party was utterly dreadful.” Her father seconded the statement.

“Very much so.” Irene took a single deep breath. “I’ve decided to marry a total stranger.” She exhaled, her eyes waited for the slightest twitch on their faces.

“Now, what brought this on?” Her father froze in his stance. “Are you out of your mind? Irene, sweetheart, why in god’s good name would you decide to do this?” A look of concern plagued him.

“I might be gone by next week.” Irene grinned into the distance.

“This whole ordeal is very out of the blue,” her mother’s voice lost its usual joy. “Is this what you really want for yourself? Is this how you’re really going?”

At the slightest squeal in her mother’s speech, Irene turned to nod. Both her parents exchanged a simple glance during a brief silence.

“Then I suppose we can’t convince you.” Her father shrugged. His face unchanged in expression. Nothing, not even the slightest tension between his brows or the tiniest rise in his voice as he headed up the stairs with a yawn.

The grin on her face faded as fast as she could hear words. It shouldn’t be surprising. It should never have been surprising. After all the times she learned to not expect a single thing, she had always thought she had evolved beyond expecting. But it would have taken her this to realize she still had a sliver of an expectation that even she did not know of.

“Is that it?” Irene raised her voice up the stairwell. “Is that all you have to say? Are you not even going to ask if I would change my mind? Are you not even going to be the least bit concerned? For Christ’s sake, your daughter is marrying a stranger and you don’t even have the thought to ask her how she came to know him? All my life, you never made me feel like I belong. Like neither of you had enough place for a third daughter in your trophy case. I thought you never saw me, because I hadn’t quite lived up to this unspoken standard. So I try, and I try to live up to it. But I just wasted my time. I just wasted my life, trying to belong in this stupid oil painting when I should have realized I was never in it!” She scolded, wincing her teeth in disbelief.

“We had no idea.” Her mother clutched her handbag. “What can we do for you, before you leave?” Then her father walked down from the stairs.

“We really are horrible, aren’t we?” He placed a hand on Irene’s shoulder. “Please, please tell us there’s enough time for one last dinner party. We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Irene shook her head, her eyes narrowed into slits. She didn’t know who to leer at, so she turned to the wall behind. She lightly placed a hand on the wallpaper, before slamming at it with a fist.

“No!” She slammed. “Why are you sorry? I don’t want this! I don’t want your last minute apologies! Why can’t you do anything else but let me down! I don’t want to hear your regrets!” She cried out. “When you gave your speech at *her* party, you compared *her* to a piece of your heart when all I was in your speech was just a name. Your own daughter just gave herself away to a stranger, and you wouldn’t even try to stop it! Is that how little I matter?”

“If it were her, you’d all be pulling out every stop. If it were her, you wouldn’t even entertain the idea. But here you are, not even going to deny that you don’t even care!”

There was no argument, no response to her statement. Not even a no. Her mother looked at the ground. Her father tried to break the silence with a plausible answer, but no words rolled off his tongue.

“Oh my god.” Irene clenched her fists. “So it really is. I am done here.” She stormed off to her room.

For Irene Wintermeyer, her parents had let her down once again, even in retaliation. How could she have seen it coming? How could she have known that she would be let down, when she thought she would never let herself get her hopes up.

Irene stomped her heels loud against the cold hard floor. The snappy clicking of her steps moved through the hallway, heading towards the bleak end of it.

Having slammed the door shut, she threw herself on the bed. Clawing, punching and slamming her fists against the pillows and sheets. She screamed into the bed, but it could not muffle her anguish. Stifling screeches inside her throat, Irene pushed herself up and smacked the bed with a pillow until it erupted into a burst of feathers. But it wasn’t enough. Lying in a pile of feathers, every limb in her body was heavy with unrest still. Then her eyes met the telephone on her dresser.

She reached to rotate the dial. She had rehearsed this number in her mind countless times, but she dialed at half the speed of her thought. She wanted so desperately to stay, but the phone took her hand and made her finish dialing.

“Devlin Mayfair, who’s calling’?” A hoarse, half asleep voice answered the phone.

“Good evening.” Irene held her breath. “I’m terribly sorry to call you back this late. This is Irene Wintermeyer, we spoke on the phone yesterday.”

“I remember.” He exhaled. “You said you’d think about it. How’s that goin’ by the way?”

“Yes, well…” She paused for a moment. “Only if you can be here in st. Louis by tomorrow morning. St. Louis’s cathedral.”

“works for me.” He stifled a yawn. “Anything else?”

“That’s all. Please enjoy the rest of your night.”

Irene put down her phone. She let go of her breath which she held for the length of the call to take in another gasp of air with shaky breathing.

People cannot give themselves salvation, that was Irene’s take away from her reverend’s preschings, which she sat through with her family every sunday.

It’s not salvation she sought to give herself. But she was desperate, and she needed so much to be saved from it. She was desperate for it all. For someone who had the heart to care. For a place she can have a new beginning. For revenge to be served frigid cold.

Even if it’s not salvation. Even if it won’t save them, desperation will drive people to places of desperate measures. All just to have something as small as temporary asylum.

[liviavanrouge]

Who is Daze and What is his Role?

Daze is a new character that appears in an upcoming event and has been revealed to be a new lifelong companion to Livia. Formerly an Evil Dimension Traveler, he was turned good with the help of Livia, Vil, Ruggie, Lilia and Riddle who all volunteered to go into the Star Dimension to stop him.

Daze's backstory is revealed after Livia takes his Blot Stone from him and purifies it turning it into a fresh Mage Stone. Daze was shown to be created by Mage's of a different universe just like the rest of the Dimension Travelers, although unlike the rest he was made using a stray cat hence his more animalistic appearance. The young Dimension Traveler was then sent to travel through different dimensions on his own which upset him as people would judge him from the moment he said hello.

Daze turned to the Dark Side after coaxing from Virda who gave him his Blot Stone, causing him to turn into the monster that Livia and Co met that day. The Traveler team rescued him by talking things out with Daze and convincing him to let them help, even returning him to his previous state.

Afterwards the kidnapped students who were taken are returned, revealing them to be safe and unharmed. Crowley comments that since nobody was hurt Daze can be forgiven and Livia becomes Daze's Guardian who's in charge of everything concerning him. Despite Livia acting annoyed with Daze at nearly all times, she actually cares greatly about him and is the most alert when the topic of the baby Dimension Traveler comes up.

~~~

What is Daze's role in the story?

Daze's role is to possibly be the key in retrieving Oswald from the world he landed in that he was sent to before arriving at NRC. Crowley states that Daze might be able to go through Dimensions at a rapid speed and find Oswald and bring him back.

As Oswald was sent to a different world by Livia and the rest of Nature's Children for an unknown reason, thus separating him from Ollie who stayed in Twisted Wonderland and attends NRC.

Daze also might be the main key to getting Ollie home once Oswald has been retrieved and brought to Twisted Wonderland, possibly being put into Royal Sword Academy to balance things out.

As Ollie is the good sibling and Oswald is the more selfish and mean sibling at least towards those who don't earn his respect or aren't his sister.

As of right now, Daze is just an Honorary Student attending the same classes Livia does so he can stick with her.

Although it has been hinted by Crowley that Daze will in fact be useful in Chapter 7/Diasomnia Arc, when it comes to moving between the Dream Realm and the Real World.

@queen-of-twisted @yukii0nna @zexal-club