#people who use trains regularly have at best a love/hate relationship with them.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Girl help I'm incapable of romanticising trains because I've spent too much time on them

[theheirofthesharingan]

Very random but do you have any headcanons about Itachi and by extension Shisui's lifestyle in the modern era? For example, would they use Android or Iphone, or what sort of food preferences they would have like gluten free or vegan? Or what about their workout regimen? Not to mention, the kind of shampoo they would use (sorry if that's too specific)

I personally see Itachi as a very reticent person who would thrive in marathon training outside of any combat training. Do you have any opinions about that or anything related to Itachi headcanons in general?

In the modern AU, I see Itachi going through the same kind of things he does in canon, but on a lesser scale. His dynamic with his family and Shisui would be more or less the same.

Itachi is the Android person. He doesn't like showing off and is content with the simpler things in life. He is vegetarian. Shisui doesn't mind eggs and some seafood.

His favourite person is Sasuke. Obviously. But Shisui is up close as well. There were times in Itachi's life when he had no idea what was going on and Shisui stood beside him. Itachi is always thankful for that.

The only thing Itachi doesn't compromise with is his hair. So, he regularly does shampoo and uses conditioner on his hair. Shisui doesn't really care about his own and if he's running out of time, he doesn't mind using washing powder on his hair either.

Itachi is definitely introverted. Though since in the modern world he might not be training rigorously because he's not a ninja, he'll spend a lot of time studying.

He reads Kafka, Murakami, Plath, Dazai, Dostoevsky, Nabokov, and Camus a lot. Shisui tries to get him to read something else as well but Itachi gets bored of his recs real soon. Shisui and he argue a lot on the kind of books they like. Sasuke just stays out of their arguments because he's more of a comic book person. His arguments tend to be with Naruto the most. And they're never on the same page.

Itachi has a strained relationship with his parents. It's not too bad, but he feels uncomfortable whenever he's home. He knows he's loved, but he can't bring himself to be comfortable with his parents around. His strict father and his mom being an ideal wife have contributed a lot to him being inexpressive. Being a genius, a prodigy, best at everything is tiring. Everyone thinks he's having the best of all worlds, but in fact, he sometimes breaks down because he can't handle it. As if he's not allowed to fail. He wants his parents to be proud of him.

He knows he's the best at what he does. It's not outright arrogance but confidence that shows in his persona. He always ends up stealing the limelight, no matter who the object of centre is meant to be. It occasionally causes a rift between him and Sasuke. No, Sasuke doesn't say it out loud, but Itachi understands that Itachi stealing the attention that Sasuke deserved hurt his little brother. He hates seeing Sasuke sad because of him. Once he understands what is wrong, Itachi always removes himself from the picture, making last minute excuses why he can't make it. It happens with him and Shisui too. But Shisui tries to make him understand that he doesn't mind it and it isn't his fault. Though Itachi won't listen. He doesn't like being inconvenience to the people he loves.

Itachi is Sasuke's rock. Every time Sasuke needs something or wants someone to root for him, he always has Itachi's support. What he doesn't realize is that Itachi needs his support just as much. Itachi finds dinners with his parents comfortable only when Sasuke is around. Sasuke talks a lot, and that's therapeutic for Itachi. Sasuke's presence makes his life so much easier.

Both the brothers sometimes have heart-to-heart with each other. Sasuke mostly rants about his life and Itachi offers his opinions and suggestions, most of them work out for Sasuke. Sasuke wants to know about Itachi too and Itachi has no idea what to say about himself and his life. He doesn't want to burden Sasuke with all that he feels. Not that Sasuke doesn't manage to get some answers out of Itachi. He's understood that asking his older brother questions directly won't help. So he beats around the bush a lot until Itachi begins to speak.

One day when their parents were out of town, Sasuke managed to pry some answers out of his brother, and was horrified to know that the Itachi Uchiha had struggles too.

Ever since they were kids, Shisui would come over to the Uchiha household for sleepovers. And when Mikoto and Fugaku fell asleep, all three kids would indulge in pillow fights. Sasuke and Shisui would gang up on Itachi because that's one of those things that draw some reaction out of Itachi.

[iwant-fuitgummi]

Sumeru Headcanons pt. 2!

(part 1 here!)

Kaveh

he/they/she

Genderfluid, Bisexual

Unofficially Dating Alhaitham

Family: None

Best Friends: Alhaitham, Faruzan

Carpal tunnel from drawing and writing so much. He has to wear wrist braces to help, along with pain medications.

They know sign language! They mostly learned it to talk to Alhaitham when he can't hear them (headphones), but now they just do it subconsciously. They talk with their hands a lot, so they end up signing while speaking without thinking.

She adopted those desert foxes from the Interdarshan Championship btw. Their names are Aida, Jalila, and Khalisa. They sleep in her bed and she makes food for them <3

He loves soup! Unfortunately, he doesn't make it for dinner often since Alhaitham hates soup. Sad.

They spend so long getting ready in the morning it's ridiculous. They get up like 2.5 hours earlier than Alhaitham. And Alhaitham gets up at 6:30, so. 4:00 am Kaveh wake up real.

She's got ADHD and always needs to be doing something with her hands. Alhaitham constantly buys silent fidget toys for her so she doesn't click her pen constantly.

All of the local stray animals come flocking as soon as they see Kaveh. He feeds and plays with them regularly, so they see him and are like omg! Food is here! And pets! Yay!!

They always see the best in people, no matter what. Their motto is "I'd rather trust a thousand bad people than miss the opportunity to befriend one good one."

She has schizophrenia. She often hears music playing when there is none, and will see and speak to people who aren't there. Alhaitham often has to tell her that she's talking to herself. She'll still talk to the hallucinations, she'll just keep in mind that they aren't real.

He and Faruzan are 100% gossip buddies. They share designs and tell each other rumors.

Dehya

she/her

29

Cisgender Woman, Lesbian, Polyamorous

Dating Candace and Dunyarzad

Family: Kusayla (Father), the Blazing Beasts (Found Family)

Best Friend: Dunyarzad

Her right arm is a prosthetic. That's why she was so willing to get it cut off. She knew it wasn't gonna physically affect her.

She has nerve damage in her hand from using her vision so much.

She is ALWAYS training when she's not busy. Either that, or she's practicing doing makeup on Candace, Dunyarzad, or Nilou.

She's in a polyamorous relationship with Dunyarzad and Candace. She was with Candace first, but gradually developed feelings for Dunyarzad. Candace gave her the go ahead to ask her out, and she now has two amazing, beautiful girlfriends who she'd die for <3

Dehya's honestly awesome there's not much more to say. She's so cool and I love her.

Dori

she/we

12

Family: Layla (Sister)

Best Friend: Nobody (She's a scammer)

Okay Dori's difficult for me. I'm a white American, so I don't have any say on her design and character. I've seen Turkish people say that it's bad and that it's good, so...yeah.

Anyways, I gave her darker skin, mostly to match with Layla. I also covered her arms because I can't think of a single kid who would wear that top. I also just overall darkened her color palette so that it wouldn't clash with her new skin tone.

I don't have many thoughts on her at all tbh. She's pretty controversial so I try not to think about her too much.

[linzsaw]

2023: my year in review

1.  What is the most important lesson you learned this year?

To allow myself to be in the spotlight, even if it makes myself and others uncomfortable.

2.  What is the best thing that happened?

(Publically) marrying my soulmate.

3.  What challenges did you overcome?

I learned to set boundaries and choose my peace over the possibility of hurting others, even if that meant I had to say goodbye to some friends.

4.  What new skills did you learn?

Project management. lol

5.  What did you do for your career growth?

Switched jobs, best decision ever. also started my own ugc business which has been really fun on the side.

6.  What did you enjoy the most?

I hate a hate/love relationship with planning my wedding.

7.  What was your favorite moment?

Its hard to choose. There was really nothing better than being surrounded by my soulmate and all our best friends/family in one place, though.

Also, my kitty recovering from a very scary health emergency.

8.  How did you have fun?

I hugged elephants, I danced the night away at my wedding, I made homemade bread, I connected with nature in many ways, four-wheeled through a Thai jungle, I snowboarded, I sang at the top of my lungs with my bffs on a yacht. I mean... the fun times were actually endless.

9.  What new habits did you start?

I worked out regularly the first half of the year and tracked my protein goals. Def need to restart these habits in 2024.

10. What are you the most proud of this year?

Pulling all of that off. Really proud of myself for honestly everything.

11. What did you learn about yourself?

I am capable of more than I could ever realize. All my manifestions come to fruition.

12. How did you live by your core values?

By never becoming complacent, always chasing my goals

13. How did your relationships (family, friends, work) evolve?

Talking things out that happened long ago in the past when I was struggling in life when in survival mode and thus hurting those around me. Having difficult convos with Drew about boundaries and financial goals for the future.

14. What was the best decision you took?

My WFH job

15. How did you fail?

Some of my UGC content wasn't great. It's a learning process.

16. What got in the way of your success?

My limiting beliefs. Not staying consistent with things.

17. What would you do differently if you could?

Stay consistent, be more organized with my routine.

18. How are you different than a year ago?

More fierce, authentic

19. What did you do for your physical and mental health?

Strength training, protein gains, & then switched to a cut so I could fit into my wedding dress lol. Mental health? Oh boy does she need some attention in 2024.

20. Who or what had the biggest impact on your life this year?

Being in the spotlight this year. I don't think I've ever attended to many events in my life that were directly related to people being there to support me. That was a wild experience and It was a bit uncomfy at times...

21. What did you let go of?

Friendships that were not serving.

22. What were the most useful resources you had?

Friends & fam

23. What are you thankful for this year?

Friends & fam

24. What did you leave unfinished?

Cleaning out my ENTIRE home.

25. What was the best compliment you received?

I feel like I only got compliments on my appearance which is kind of sad.

26. If you were to talk about this year like a story, how would you write it?

In a tumblr post

27. How do you describe this year in 3 to 5 keywords?

Adventure. Romance. Lux. Chaotic. Fun.

28. What energised you? what drained you?

Looking forward to events. Setting boundaries.

29. How kind were you to yourself?

For the most part yes.

30. What advice would you give your last-year self?

Don't let anyone make your moment about them.

[pappydaddy]

style (j.m.)

a/n: this is a test to see if i really am shadowbanned. i have excluded any links and tags.

show/movie: outer banks

pairing: jj maybank x fem!kook!reader

not requested

synopsis: good-girl kook y/n and bad boy pogue jj, something that y/n doesn’t want to go out of style. no matter what brought them together.

warnings: fwb kinda gig, secret relationship (a little), infidelity (kinda), steamy make-out

masterlist found under navigation in bio

next part: i wish you would, found on my obx masterlist under jj and series | how you get the girl posted!

note: i usually link and tag people, but in an effort to see if i am shadowbanned or i need to redo all my links, i decided to use this to test.

not my gif | my header

Eleven o’clock at night, Y/N sat there, eyes trained on the window waiting for the text to pop up onto her phone. Dressed in her best dress with the shortest skirt that she knew he loved, she waited for JJ - the Pogue bad boy her parents hated. She wasn’t sure what it was about JJ that made her lose all control. Made her lose her good-girl facade, but she knew for sure it wasn’t to piss off her parents since they didn’t even know about her hanging around JJ, she made sure of that in fear that they would ruin it. 

  “jj and sandra are leaving the wreck in two dif cars” Kie texted the group chat between her, Y/N and Sarah, before adding three side-eye emojis. Y/N glanced at it, eyes narrowing. When Kie texted telling them that he was hanging out with her, anger and jealousy filled Y/N even though she knew she had no place. They weren’t actually dating. They are just slightly more than hooking up. JJ took her to their secret hangout spot for romantic picnics and she was content knowing that she was the only one he did that for. Their hookups were more like sleepovers with sex, he would spend weeks holed up in her room when John B just assumed he was hooking up with random people. 

  “kick a soccer ball at her new nose on the first day of school, y/n.” Sarah urged. Sandra Hanson was the only other kook other than Kie and Y/N who went to the public school. Sarah is planning to transfer, but she cannot make any promises as of yet. Sitting comfortably in slightly higher than middle class, Y/N’s parents were not too happy about their daughter wanting to go to public school, but they surrendered to her begging. They didn’t know it was a ploy to get closer to her crush, JJ. Sandra had been expelled from the Kook Academy for disorderly conduct. 

  “they appeared to be doing homework but idk, seems sus.” Kie texted back an update. Y/N stood from the foot of her bed, pacing around. She hasn’t heard from JJ for weeks. She hadn’t even really heard from him, only getting a ‘be ready by midnight’ text from him after radio silence. This wasn’t uncommon for them. Y/N had hinted about wanting more for their relationship and JJ had seemed to disappear for a little bit besides them hanging out within their friend group. 

 ‘jj doing homework? Yeah right” Sarah sent with an eye-roll emoji. “ idk tho why would jj suddenly take interest in sandra when hes obvi obsessed with y/n, something is up…” She added quickly, a second grey bubble popping up under the other. 

  Y/N ignored this as the clock changed to eleven fifty-nine, igniting a swirl of butterflies within her stomach. Nobody knew about them. Well, what there was to know about them. They didn’t know about the late nights spent tangled together, stripped of clothes and defences - naked in front of each other. They didn’t know that Y/N’s classic, signature red lipstick stained JJ’s neck and other bits of skin regularly. They didn’t know anything. 

  The distant and familiar rattle of John B’s van excited her. Looking out her window, she could see the dark silhouette of the van turning into her driveway, pausing for a moment. Even with the headlights off, she could see, in the glow of the moon, JJ’s arm reaching out and punching in the code for the gate in her driveway. A burst of warmth filled her heart at the thought of JJ knowing the code to her gate off by heart. 

  Rushing out of her room and down the stairs, she was too eager to wait for him to even get out of the van and meet her at the door. By the time he was pulling up, she was already out the door and locking it. “Wow, someone’s eager.” JJ whistled, eyes shamelessly raking her up and down, checking her out. 

  “Oh, shut up.” She teased, rolling her eyes in fake annoyance. The smile stretching across her red painted lips gave her away. JJ, despite her already heading for the van, got out. She paused for a second, breath-taken away by the sight. She swears he moves in slow-motion half the time. Like a cheesy slow-motion clip of a really hot character in a show.

  JJ was the type of guy that made even the simplest outfit look hot. Blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket (definitely not the outfit worn in the picture Kie sent the group chat earlier). Just three simple pieces of clothing and he looks like sex on a stick. She watched him, slightly slack jawed, as he stretched, his muscles flexing. The white shirt did little to hide his defined abdomen as the moonlight rained down upon him like a spot light. His hands reached into his blonde locks, tossing the perfectly styled hair just the right way (again, much different than the messy hair hidden beneath the backwards baseball cap in the picture Kie sent). 

  The one piece of solstice she had within her relationship was that JJ tried with her. The other girls he’s seen with, he puts in the minimum amount of effort with them. But with her, he tried. Tried with his physical appearance, his emotions, and his intellect. The sentiment warmed her heart, her vital organ glowing like a star (something only JJ could make it do). 

  “Alright, let’s get going,” JJ groaned as he stretched more, his white shirt rising up just enough to allow his lower stomach to peek through. She nodded, following him as he led her towards the passenger side of the van. Opening the door for her, he gave her his hand to help her up. The contact of their skin was like an electric stock to her, making her flex her hand once he let go of it, closing the door. Her keen eyes didn’t fail to pick up the same movement from JJ’s hand as he jogged around the van. “I thought we would just drive around, there is some really rich Kook thing happening on the beach right by our spot.” 

  “Sounds good to me.” She sighed, wiggling in the seat to get comfortable. As much as they both tried within their thing, they both found themselves one-hundred percent comfortable with each other. She knew them too well. This long drive could end in burning flames or paradise. Either sending them into another flurry of sex, heat, and passion or into another pit of minimum contact. 

____

  Two AM. JJ drives them back to her house, his wild eyes seeming to have a hard time staying off her as she lounges back in her seat. His hand, clamped on her bare thigh, squeezed gently, making her look over at him. Her eyes twinkled in the moonlight, her hair flowing around them as he sped down the street. The corner of her lips turned up into a sweet smile, making his knees weak. He wasn’t sure what it was about her, the goodest Kook of them all, that drove him wild in such a tame and domesticated way, but it scared him. It scared him that he loved that red lip, classic look so much. It scared him that he loved her. 

  Pulling up to her gate once again, this time the yellow-tinted headlights of the van reflected back of the steel gate, hitting them. Easily, he punched in the code, slowly driving forward as the gate squeaked open. The van was bathed in a comfortable silence, as if they had been married for five years already. Just enjoying each other’s presence. 

  Wordlessly, they both got out, JJ’s hand finding the small of her back as they walked to her front door together. Nobody needed to say anything. They had an unspoken communication that JJ was coming into her house. 

  Y/N had doubts. She was tired of their circles. She wanted something more, but the last time she brought it up, it sent JJ into hiding for weeks. All the lights were off, just as she suspected as her parents were on a business trip, as she opened the door, letting them both in. Without hesitation, he walks past her as she turns around to shut and lock the door. 

  She could hear the rustling of him shrugging out of his leather jacket, discarding it onto the coat rack he knew they used religiously. In the back of her mind, she considers telling him to leave because she knows this will never change, this will lead to the exact same thing, but as she turns around to see him standing there, she decides going in the circle of crashing down and coming back every time was a much better option. 

  “I heard you were out and about with some other girls. Audrey Glassman last night at a Pogue party and Sandra Hanson tonight at the Wreck.” She brought up, eyebrows raised as she tried to play her jealousy off as intrigue and curiosity. JJ could see right through her, he always could. 

  Bowing his head, he slowly walked to her, closing the distance between them and she let him, standing there unmoving as she watched him get closer. “Look, yes, I hung out with them, but Y/N, I couldn’t get you off my mind for the past few weeks. It’s been driving me mad. I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I was with them.” He told her earnestly, hands falling on her hips as he stepped toe-to-toe to her, his breath fanning her face as they stared into each other’s eyes. 

  She hummed, head bowing for a second as she nodded. She knew what he was saying. She found her eyes flicking up to meet his. She swore that for a second, she was feeling what her grandmother felt whenever she gushed about the time she met James Dean. The same handsome sparkle she sees in the old picture of the two (she was pretty sure they dated but, her grandmother won’t confess). “Yeah, I’ve been there too a few times.” She admitted. 

  It was true. JJ always seemed to occupy her mind. Even when she was with other guys. The way he cannot seem to keep his wild eyes on the road when they’re driving somewhere. The way he fits right into her house as if he lives there too. The way his eyes sparkle when he looks at her. It was never sexual (well, rarely sexual) whenever she thought of him. Sure, she thought of his touch, but it was the comforting feel of his hand on her lower back as he’s guiding her to their private date spot in the dark or the light feeling of his fingertips pressing into her upper back whenever he feels protective over her (usually whenever Rafe is nearby). 

  “What do you say, Baby,” JJ asked, using his hands planted on her hips to pull her flush to him. She gasped, looking down at their bodies pressed against each other. She could feel every bump and dip of his body. She could feel his defined muscles, she could feel the heat radiating off him. She could feel another bump. Gingerly, her fingers found themselves dancing along his back, feeling the way his muscles rippled when he moved ever so slightly. “You forgive me? Nothing happened with either of them, you have my word and I might not have much, but I do have that.” 

  He leaned his head down, their foreheads touching in such a sweet and innocent way, a stark contrast to the way their bodies felt flush against each other, his nose brushing against hers. Her eyes fluttered closed, but she could feel his staring at her intently. Her eyes fluttered closed as she relished in the feeling. His breath fanned over her lips as he watched her intently, not doing anything until he knew for sure she was okay. Slowly, almost non-existent, there was a nod. “Yeah.” She breathed out. 

  “Good,” He breathed out in the same way. “Now, let me show you exactly why you were on my mind when I was with them.” He whispered seconds before their lips crashed together in a feverish kiss. It was messy, hands roaming everywhere, lips mushed together so hard it almost hurt. Tongues and a little bit of spit moving from mouth to mouth, but they didn’t care if drool was rolling down either of their faces. They were too absorbed in the feeling of each other. 

  Chests rose and fell rapidly and it was only a few seconds in, but that’s how passionate they are. Hums, moans, and panting were the only sounds in the quiet house as her Hands gripped the bottom of JJ’s t-shirt, pulling it up. Her knuckles dragged along his abs (both for her pleasure and his) making his muscles ripple and his back hunch slightly. Humming into the kiss at the feeling, Y/N nearly ripped the shirt off him, making him pull away to get rid of the barrier before resuming the kiss with more vigour, forcefully lifting her up into the air, her legs wrapping around his waist as some sort of automatic response. His arms tightened around her waist, pushing her against him. Her pelvis rolled against his clothed bulge, making him whine slightly at the feeling. 

  The air in the room was already thick with the smell of arousal and sex. Their skin became sticky as they worked each other up, hands roaming each other’s bodies like someone exploring new land. It was as if they were a force when together, possessing the power to make any room seem like a sex room in under ten seconds. 

  With her back pressed into the wall suddenly, JJ’s weight pressing her flush against it, he rolled his pelvis into hers making her tear her lips away from him, the feeling of his clothed, jean-clad pelvis rolling against hers that was basically only covered by her panties due to her skirt riding up send shock waves through her body. His lips latched onto her throat without a second thought, inciting another gasp from her - a sound that drove him mad. Another quick roll and she cried out, body falling forward onto him. Tears pricked her eyes as her head pulled back, hitting the wall. JJ’s tongue licked the spot he knew made her weak, humming at the sound of her whimper before biting it gently, enticing a gasp from her. Her breasts pressed against him harder, her fingers disappearing into his blonde hair as he continued his attack on her neck. 

  Sure, she should have told him to leave, but that wouldn’t have fixed anything. There is no way to pull them apart. No matter how many times she tells him to leave, they just keep coming back because they will never go out of style. Never. Now, be that the sheer magnitude of their passion and feelings or the pull of the stereotype they so perfectly fit, Y/N had no idea, but she never wanted it to stop.  

[redrobin-detective]

Ben 10 lore that exists in my heart regardless of canon

- Ben’s personality in his mid-late teens is a mix of his Alien Force and Omniverse self. On the surface, he’s very cheerful and kind even if he is a bit of arrogant showoff. He makes jokes and plays around and acts as if he isn’t bothered by the things in his life. Those who know him best understand a good portion of his outward confidence and cockiness is just a facade to cover up his insecurities and to project the ideal, effortless hero. While sometimes seen as immature, most beings know Ben 10 means business as he takes his unofficial job and people’s safety very seriously. He’s clever, adaptable, charismatic and empathetic which makes him a formidable opponent and a loyal friend. Doesn’t open up easily but if you get to him, he become so dearly attached. 

- Drinks smoothies so much for several reasons. Comfort food go brrr, reminds him of the good easy times with him Gwen and Kev. It’s also a light but generally nutritous food to give him energy for heroing. Anything too heavy and he’ll be puking (both from physical and emotional stress). Though he jokes about his mom’s health foods, his are a crazy concoction of add in proteins and vitamins/minerals bc he knows he’ll out and out collapse without it. (Still has on occasion bc boy still doesn’t eat right/enough)

- While Fame is exciting for him at first he soon begins to detest it. Not the fans, no, he can’t bring himself to hate the people who look up to him. But he hates the constant attention, that he can’t walk outside without being mobbed. the only place he feels safe is his hometown where most people are so used to him and his weirdness that they don’t react much anymore. Takes to wearing a cape and face shield when going out anywhere so he can actually get things done without being recognized and mobbed.

- Part of the reason Bellwood isn’t concerned with Ben is partially because ben’s been weird and alien for as long as they can remember but also many don’t realize how famous/powerful he is. Yeah that’s just Ben Tennyson over there, sometimes he turns into funny creatures- wait what do you MEAN he’s the savior of the universe?? He cried over a spilled smoothie the other day.

- Does mostly online schooling by the time he’s 15. At first he tries to do half day things to maintain something of a normal life but it quickly becomes overwhelming and dangerous him/the school. Finishes his GED early but the Plumbers and Azmuth make him take additional college level and alien courses to prepare him for his future role. Ben gripes but really does love learning all these things, especially on his terms (ADHD and stress + the public school system do not always go hand in hand). He’s a quick learner when he deems the information important and is made accessible to his learning needs.

- Ben definitely has ADHD speaking of which, it was nearly uncontrollable as a child bc his free-spirited parents didn’t believe in medicating. Ben convinced them he needed it and after some trial and error, found meds that worked. As he became more involved in heroics/growing up he had to change his medicine regimen (resulting in him being a bit more off the rails in OV) and needed antidepressants and therapy to manage it better. As an adult he has a whole litany of coping mechanisms (good and bad yes) and regularly checks in with his therapist and doctors to keep things under control. 

- Has a complicated relationship with his necrofriggian children. Considers himself their mother and worries after them. They too feel a connection to their parent despite this being unusual for their species. A few visit (some more than others) while they grow while others maintain distance. Ben never breathes a word of them to the media for fear of them being targeted. Still he keeps an eye on them and ensures all 14 mature to adulthood (another rarity for the species). Checks in every now and again with the ones who don’t want to see him and those that do. Two join the Plumbers and Ben is both proud and worried. His youngest becomes partners with Rook Ben.

- Just in general loves kids, they’re his favorite fans and while he’ll grumble at pushy adult fans he always smiles and kneels down for the little ones. Not so secretly wanted to have children of his own but knew it was a risk overall and used a lot of that energy with mentoring and teaching. Eventually had Kenny later in life (late 30s-40s) and was over the moon, becoming such a loving and doing parent or as much as he could be with his hectic schedule. 

- Omnitrix can’t come off, never has at any point since it first latched onto Ben’s arm. Azmuth tried and failed to get the device off, doesn’t let Ben know for many years as he feared the consequences. The watch loves and protects Ben even beyond it’s programming making him much more durable to damage and releasing energy charges when he’s threatened. Not even removing Ben’s arm would separate them. They’re stuck for life.

- Ben does have Anodite heritage but the Omnitrix actively suppresses it and uses the built up energy to power the transformations which is why ben is mostly unaffected by what should cause a massive energy drain on him. Theoretically if Ben learned to harness and safely use his Mana at an early age like Gwen he would have been fine but letting it build up without safe outlet meant activation would have killed him. Omnitrix Ben, however, went his whole life not knowing of his latent abilities and how the watch saved his life.

- Ben’s eyes get more green and glowy as time passes from the Omnitrix. At first they think its a trick of the light but by the time he’s an adult his eyes are pretty much glow in the dark. His veins light up too after long stretches of using the Omnitrix. Its vaguely unsettling to people who aren’t used to Ben.

- Max and the Earth Plumbers work so, so hard to keep teen Ben on Earth when half the universe is blowing up their comm lines asking for The Ben 10 to help with whatever problem of the day. Ben himself doesn’t quite understand when he’s younger the prestige and expectations on his shoulders. Max throws up a million and one roadblocks so Ben can live as normal a life as possible while he still can. Still, while doing that he Still overloads Ben with expectations and responsibilities on earth and beyond. He becomes a soldier again with Ben as their greatest weapon. He never forgave himself of losing sight of his grandson underneath the hero esp after Ben’s breakdown. 

- Rook partnership with Ben ends not long after Omniverse with his promotion to Magister. Ben tries to play it cool but the thought of another loved one/teammate leaving his tears him apart. Max revealing that Ben most likely wouldn’t get a new Plumber assigned partner since he’s almost an adult and won’t need it and Rook accidentally missing their last smoothie run due to a scheduling mishap causes Ben to snap and have the nervous breakdown that had been building for almost a decade. He completely loses it for a little while and needs to take an extended leave of absence from school and heroics that lasts about a year. Spends time recovering both on Earth and Galvan Prime, does some diplomatic training, learns about aliens, actually confronts the stress and loneliness of his life. He comes out the other side stronger but still fragile and exhausted.

- Ben’s above mentioned breakdown brings him closer to all his friends who didn’t quite realize the extent of Ben’s burden. Rook had been under the impression Ben didn’t like him all that much so the knowledge that his departure was the final straw for friend/hero’s collapse was shocking. Ben and Azmuth also become closer, the Galvan becoming fiercely protective of the boy seeing as his Earth family didn’t do well to keep him safe. It takes years for him to get over his anger at Max for putting so much on his grandchild. Ben makes more friends, in and out of the hero business, finally gets a therapist and gets some of his burdens eased a bit. It’s not a sure fire fix and Ben has several smaller breakdowns the rest of his life but its something.

- Azmuth was straight up suicidal before he met Ben for the first time. Ben gave him back hope for the universe and his ability to create items for peace not weapons. The boy infuriates him, frightens him, frustrates him but Azmuth cannot deny in his heart of hearts that he loves Ben dearly. He’s very upset at Ben’s breakdown and doesn’t know how to handle the worst of the initail outbursts. Azmuth talks Ben down from a suicide attempt. He reaches out to Ben that he Too felt overwhelmed by pressure, thought himself only good for war. Ben’s arrival in his life saved him and now he will do the same for Ben. It’s the first positive step forward in Ben’s recovery.

- For no other reason than I like it, Azmuth primarily refers to Ben as Benjamin (mostly to annoy the kid but he likes the way it sounds too) and Ben in softer, more serious moments. 

- Professor Paradox continues to flit in and out of Ben’s life. He says its because Ben is the most equipped to handle universal peril (true) but he’s also just very fond of the boy. Ben, existing in so many forms and having such importance also exists a beat outside of normal reality which Paradox identifies with. Ben is naturally attuned to time related problems because of this (instantly IDing Spanner as from the future before being told later deducing him to be his unborn son). Plus Ben named him, way back when. He’s just drawn to Ben.

- Adult Ben, while being seen as an impressively skilled fighter and champion, really has his strength as a universal diplomat of sorts. Based out of Earth, he helps mediate and defuse conflicts, advocate against tyranny and overall preserve peace and balance. He’s not perfect, he makes mistakes and sometimes is forced to become violent (and yes kill) but overall is regarded as a peacekeeper, something younger ben simply couldn’t understand. 

- Gwen gets her degree and primarily does work with advocacy and teaching about magic/alien culture. While she and Ben are still close, there’s a bit of a frustrated divide in that she isn’t helping him share the burden of the universe. Gwen never wanted to be a hero and has enough worth to not shackle herself to a job that’ll burn her out. Ben loves heroing but gives too much of himself away trying to fix everything. They get into screaming arguments that it wouldn’t be so bad out there if she just helped him but she refuses to budge and says he shouldn’t make himself do so much. They always make up and thy still are each other’s closest relationships.

- Ben marries Kai in a political move, Kai is Asexual and Ben Aromantic. They didn’t love each other but they got on well enough and Ben was really feeling the stress of carrying the hero burden so Kai also being involved made him feel like he wasn’t alone. Both were also so tired of the universe constantly asking about their love life and said ‘fuck it we’re married leave us alone’. Gwen was always mad about it feeling Ben deserved better but the two of them were happy with it. They had separate rooms, mostly separate lives but they became strong friends and supports with their strictly platonic marriage. They had Ken via Invitro in an incubator and were loving if extremely busy parents. 

- Also from the moment he appeared, Ben knew that Spanner was his future son, Kenny. He played ignorant and then was kind of deliberately teasing him in future encounters. He knew the rules of time and didn’t want to disrupt things further even if he was angry and worried as heck about why Ken felt the need to time travel. When future Ben catches up in the timeline, Kenny gets SUCH a lecture. 

- Ben isn’t quite immortal but he’s also not entirely human anymore either. The Omnitrix not only keeps him safe from most harm but it lightens the effect of aging. Ben 10 is active many, many years when most humans would have been forced to retire. He’s not sure how long the watch will keep him alive and it terrifies him. Gwen too is functionally immortal however she ages like a normal human, then when her natural death came, shed her skin and became a fulltime Anodite. So in the end, it was her and Ben together wondering which of them will die first. Gwen has trouble retaining her humanity as pure energy and swears she’ll let herself fizzle out when Ben goes. When that’ll be however...

[romione-trope-fest]

Shag, Marry, Kill

In today’s submission, @adenei​ brilliantly combines Fuck or Die and Marriage Law! Read on, and don’t forget to follow her for updates!

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Fic Title: Shag, Marry, Kill Author Name: adenei Selected Trope: Marriage Law & Fuck or Die Brief Summary: No Voldy AU. 3 years after the Trio graduates from Hogwarts, they’re finally settling into their chosen careers. Ron and Harry have completed Auror training and Hermione has just moved back after working with MACUSA for the past few years. On one of her first nights back, she’s celebrating Angelina’s upcoming nuptials with the girls. What happens when some Muggle party games, paired with Luna’s quick fix for getting rid of Wrackspurts, goes horribly wrong? Read on to find out… Word Count: 3,449 (5 Chapters Total) Rating: E TW: Strong language, eventual sexual content

When I was still attending Hogwarts, I used to love summers at the Burrow—the sweet smell of grass and the dew in the evenings accompanied by the quiet solitude of being tucked away in the countryside, with only the crickets chirping and frogs croaking disrupting the peace. It’s the opposite of the hustle and bustle I grew up with on the outskirts of London, and as much as I hated abandoning my parents in the summer after attending Hogwarts all year, I couldn’t imagine not spending part of my summer with the Weasleys.

It feels so good to be back after three years working with MACUSA’s Magical Law division following my graduation from Hogwarts. Ron and Harry joined the three year Auror training program in the UK, and while I hated being away from them, I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. 

I wrote to my best friends regularly, and any time they had time off, Ron would take a portkey to visit me, or I’d go to London for a few days if I could manage to take the time off. Those short visits helped me get through the bouts of homesickness and missing the two people who I’d been almost inseparable from for seven years. 

But now I’m back in England, and the boys are officially full-fledged Aurors. My transfer to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry will take effect at the beginning of August, so I’m enjoying my time off. And by enjoying, I mean I’m spending my days organizing my new flat in London and reading up on all the cases I’ll be aiding with once I do start.

Tonight, though, I’m taking a break from all of that to attend Angelina’s Hen Do at the Burrow. She didn’t want a big fuss, so Ginny suggested hanging out in the garden, playing games and drinking copious amounts of wine and firewhisky. So, that’s what we’re doing—Angelina, Ginny, Katie, Luna, Fleur, and me.

It’s amazing to see how far my relationships have come with all of these women. Ginny and I have always been close, but I used to resent Fleur to the highest extreme. That was when I was jealous of her Veela charm and couldn’t stand how ridiculous the boys acted around her when we were in Hogwarts—um, okay, maybe it was just one boy. I couldn’t have cared less if Harry made a fool of himself around Fleur, but seeing Ron succumb to her beauty was like a swift kick in the gut. 

I used to wish he’d look at me like that. And maybe sometimes I still do, even though it’s clear we’ll always only be friends. I know, I know, jealousy has never been my best colour, but I didn’t know it was jealousy at the time. At least, not at first. How many people fall for their best friend? I thought that only happens in films. Though, in films, the best friends always end up together. Too bad my life isn’t a movie. I’m sick of being single.

Sometimes I think he may have felt the same way about me during our sixth or seventh year, but neither of us ever said anything. We were always stuck in this endless loop of toeing the line and subtle flirting. I remember hoping something would happen at Bill and Fleur’s wedding. Like we’d dance and be swept up in the magic of the moment and he’d kiss me and—yeah, that never happened. 

Get a grip, Hermione.

Maybe I’m still carrying around some unrequited feelings for Ron, even after I tried to get away for three years to get over him. Clearly, that worked so well, considering I’m getting caught up in daydreams right now. The last thing I need is for the girls to find out I’m still hopelessly in love with my best friend. 

So, instead of fixating on a specific redhead who’s off celebrating his brother’s stag, I finish off my glass of wine and admire how the floating fairy lights illuminate the garden with a soft glow. The other girls are giggling about something, but I’m too far off in my own world to know what it is.

“Hermione, do you need a refill?” Fleur asks as she sashays around the circle with a newly opened bottle in her hands.

Ginny holds up her glass. “I do!”

Everyone laughs and Fleur tilts the bottle to pour another full glass for Ginny. “Good! Someone might as well drink and enjoy the alcohol.”

“Hermione could use another glass too. She’s staying here tonight, so no worrying about being too drunk to Apparate or Floo home!” Ginny encourages.

I really don’t need another, but there’s nothing I can do to stop Fleur, and I’m not drunk yet. At least, I don’t think I am. The night is still young. One more glass can’t hurt, right? And Ginny makes a good point, I’m staying over at the Burrow so I suppose I can let loose.

Once all our glasses are full again, Fleur settles back into her chair as Angelina sprawls out in the bridal ‘throne’ Luna transfigured for her when we were setting up earlier. Angelina and Katie are whispering about something. When they’re done, Katie turns immediately to Luna.

“Luna, your necklace is beautiful!” Katie points to the silver pendant around Luna’s neck which sparkles as it catches the dim light. It draws my attention to it as well, and I notice there’s some swirly insignia on it that sort of looks like a P and an M, but it’s hard to make out in the darkness.

Luna’s fingers rise to touch the piece of jewellery and she smiles brightly. “Thank you. Daddy says it should be worn during the new moon so the Wrackspurts can’t overtake your mind.”

An awkward silence fills our circle, and I look at Ginny. She’s always the one who knows how to respond to Luna’s outlandish beliefs and remarks. I’ve gotten used to Luna’s ways, but this one seems especially odd. Maybe it’s because I’ve been away for so long, or maybe it’s the wine relaxing my inhibitions, but I decide to call her out on it.

“Luna, you can’t be serious.”

I can see the whites of everyone’s eyes as they bulge out of their heads at my retort. Angelina hides a snigger behind her glass as she takes a long swig. At least she’s enjoying this. I can’t help but wonder if she prompted Katie to ask in the first place.

“Why ever wouldn’t I be? Wrackspurts can wreak so much havoc on our thoughts and actions if we aren’t careful. You know, Hermione, you might benefit from its use more than me. You’re more than welcome to try it if you’d like.”

My first instinct is to tell her thanks, but no thanks. It’s a load of rubbish! But then, just as I’m about to scoff and dismiss the offer, a thought occurs to me. What if I do wear it? Just to prove her wrong. 

A slow smile creeps over my lips and I catch Ginny raising an eyebrow at me out of my peripheral vision. 

“You know what, Luna? Sure, I’ll wear it.” Katie and Angelina both choke on their drinks.

Luna doesn’t pick up on my sceptical tone or any other hidden meaning behind my agreement, which triggers a sprinkling of guilt as she lifts the necklace over her head and uses her wand to hover it over to me. But then, before I can admit I’m only doing it to prove her wrong, Luna speaks up.

“I know you don’t believe in its powers, Hermione, but I’m glad you’re giving it a try anyway. You’ve become much more open-minded since we first met.”

I don’t know if I’d go that far, but even so, my cheeks heat up when she calls me out—even if it’s done so politely.

“Um, okay,” I agree as I place the necklace around my neck, feeling the weight of the pendant. It’s heavier than I expected. “But, if it doesn’t repel any Wrackspurts, will you at least be open to the idea of this being a myth?”

Luna contemplates me for a moment before responding. Her voice is light and airy despite the polite declination. “We all believe what we want to believe, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

I open my mouth to respond, then close it. She’s not incorrect. Everyone has their beliefs, no matter how deranged they are—and I’ve witnessed a lot, working in law since graduation—but even through the clouded fog of alcohol I know now is not the time to debate the definition of a fact or myth. 

“Who wants to play a game?” Katie intervenes, saving me from having to answer.

Angelina thrusts her arm in the air, her drink sloshing at the sudden movement from her excitement. “Me! Hermione, what are some fun Muggle games? It doesn’t matter if they’re ones we can drink to or not, I don’t care.”

I’m the last person to ask when it comes to questions about Muggle parties, but I do have enough knowledge to suggest the staples such as ‘truth or dare’ and ‘never have I ever.’  So, we spend the next hour or so playing those games, asking each other ridiculous questions, all while drinking more and reminiscing about our days at Hogwarts.

When people start to lose interest with truth or dare, Ginny pipes up and asks, “Hey, Hermione, what’s that game we played with your friends in New York? You know, the one where you have to pick three people or something?”

I try to focus on her question, but I am thoroughly drunk at this point. Focus, Hermione. What’s the game where you pick three people? Hmm, I remember having to choose someone for each one…

“Oh!” Somehow, the words come to me. “It was Fuck, Marry, Kill!”

Whoops and hollers erupt with my answer. “Did Hermione Granger just drop an f-bomb?” Angelina shouts so all of Stoat’s Head Hill can hear.

“Shhh. It’s the wine! I prefer Shag, Marry, Kill.”

“Yeah, but Americans don’t say shag, do they?” Ginny tuts. “Besides, I think fuck is much more fitting. Implies no strings attached.”

“So does shag,” I retort.

“Okay, okay, how do you play?” Fleur interrupts.

“It’s simple really, though there are a couple of versions. You have to choose people you’d want to shag, marry, and kill.” 

“Oh, let’s play that!” Katie agrees and looks to Angelina. “But what does our bride think?”

“Let’s do it! But I have two stipulations.” Angelina slurs the word ‘stipulation,’ which makes us all giggle before she continues. “One: you have to choose the people you would have chosen in Hogwarts. And two: if someone uses a name, you can’t reuse it.”

Ginny snorts. “You expect us to remember who everyone else has picked? Yeah, okay, Ange.”

“I will keep track,” Fleur pipes up, summoning a quill and blank piece of parchment. 

I almost forgot Fleur isn’t drinking with us because she’s expecting her second child. Molly probably trusts her to keep an eye on all of us while she’s at Shell Cottage watching Victoire. It’s a good thing Molly isn’t here. I’d hate for her to see me this drunk. Same with the boys. Ron would never let me live it down.

Once Fleur’s settled, we all wait for Angelina to either start us off or tell someone to go. A mischievous grin that could rival George’s spreads across her face when she looks at Katie. 

“Katie Bell, you’re up first.”

Katie scrunches her nose up and she sticks out her tongue at her best friend. “I knew you were going to do that.”

“I want to hear you admit it!” Ange says with a hearty laugh.

“Okay, FINE. I would kill Pucey, marry Diggory, and shag McLaggen.”

“McLaggen?!” I spit out the swig of white wine I was taking, not expecting to be surprised at all by her choices. Mainly because I wouldn’t have known any of them well to begin with. Or so I thought.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s a right dick but was hot as hell in school. Don’t tell Fred.”

“Nope, everything we talk about tonight stays in our little circle,” I affirm, holding up my glass. Everyone agrees with hearty ‘cheers’ from their spot.

“Diggory is not a bad choice for marriage, though,” Fleur admits with a smirk. I wonder if she had him pegged for her marriage response before Katie used him.

Katie nods, knowing she snagged a good one and points back to Angelina. “Now, it’s your turn, Miss Bride to Be .” 

“Alright, alright. I’d probably kill Warrington, marry Wood and fuck Fred. Sorry, Katie.”

“None taken, I’d be interested to see which twin is better in bed for sure.”

Squeals of laughter erupt around the circle while Ginny makes gagging noises. I seriously wonder if they’d be admitting any of this if they weren’t drunk out of their minds right now. Not that I’m any better. Of course, I’ll need the liquid courage to admit my answers when it’s time. For now, I’m just hoping no one steals any of my options. Stupid rules.

“Fleur, what about you?”

“Hmm, I suppose I would shag Viktor Krum, kill Roger Davies, and marry Jean-Luc from Beauxbatons. He was not at Hogwarts for the Tournament, unfortunately.” 

“Viktor?” I gasp. There goes one of my options.

“Oh, yes, I have always been interested in the quiet, mysterious type. I would have liked to go to the ball with him, but it was clear his eyes were set on you, mon chérie. So, I settled with Roger, who was a complete arse. I was like a prize to him.”

“Gross, but sounds like Davies,” Ange admits. “Luna?”

Luna looks toward Angelina, though with a dreamy, far-off gaze. “I’d shag Neville, I think. And marry Terry Boot. I’d rather not choose anyone to kill, but if I had to, I think I would go with Pansy. She was so cruel to everyone and we don’t need that kind of hatred in the world.”

This does not surprise me at all. Luna is such a kind, unique, gentle soul. Though I always suspected she had a crush on Ron. I’m surprised she didn’t choose him despite the tidal wave of relief washing over me since she hasn’t.

“Ginny?” Fleur keeps the game moving before my loose lips can ask.

“Can I choose to shag and marry Harry?”

“You’re supposed to pick someone from Hogwarts, not who you’re currently with,” Angelina whines, but I intervene on Ginny’s behalf.

“Um, not sure if you’re aware but Ginny’s been in love with Harry since before Hogwarts. Her choice is completely valid.”

Ange rolls her eyes. “Fine, but you really wouldn’t pick anyone else for a random shag? Who’d you date before Harry? Michael? Dean?”

“Ew, no, absolutely not. Dean was far too overbearing and Michael was a dick. I’m perfectly happy choosing Harry for both. He never disappoints.” She winks at everyone and I roll my eyes at her blatant honesty. Those two were made for each other. “Oh, but I would kill Draco Malfoy. Fucking little ferret.”

Everyone raises their glasses again in solidarity with that choice, but now I have no idea who I’m going to choose. I’ve lost both my original kill and shag. Then again, if Ginny used Harry for two…

“Alright, Hermione, you’re up,” Angelina calls me back to the present, and I can feel five sets of eyes staring at me expectantly.

“I don’t know why you’re all so interested. You probably know who I’m going to choose.”

“Yes, but we want to hear you say it,” Ange goads me along.

I’ve been prepped and ready to play along with a light-hearted attitude, but seeing all their knowing looks causes something inside me to snap. It was easier to deal with my feelings when I lived in New York and I didn’t have to be reminded of what never transpired between Ron and me because I was too much of a coward to say anything. But now, being back here, and seeing him multiple times a week, I’m reminded of everything I wish we could have had. And it’s exhausting holding it in all the time.

The alcohol helps open the floodgates, allowing me to be honest with myself for once in my life, though I’ll probably regret the admission in the morning. 

“It’s Ron, okay? It’s always been Ron. I’d shag him if that was all I could have, even though marrying is the more appealing option! Hell, why stop at marrying? I’d betroth myself to Ronald Bilius Weasley given how long I’ve been hopelessly in love with him! Yes, me, Hermione Jean Granger, proponent of championing equal rights for everyone would willingly enter a formal agreement if it meant he and I could be together. Even though he infuriates me at times, he’s my best friend and I don’t know how I’m supposed to eventually watch him fall in love and go through life with someone who’s not me.”

I drop my head into my hands after I’ve finished my over-the-top declaration. Merlin, I need a glass of water or something.

“Does the infuriating part mean you’d choose to kill him, too?” Ginny asks, attempting to break the weighted silence with light humour.

A laugh bubbles up to my throat. “Yeah, probably.”

“Hermione, why don’t you tell him how you feel?” Fleur asks, her voice matching the solemn atmosphere now settling over the party.

I’ve been asking myself the same question for years. It’s not like I haven’t tried. I have, countless times, but something would always come up and the moment would be lost. It seems so ridiculous to admit now, even if it’s true.

Luna pipes up to answer for me, and I’ve never been more appreciative of her. “Isn’t it obvious? She’s afraid of losing her friend. I understand, Hermione.”

“Thanks, Luna.” Luna smiles, but then her face morphs into shock.

“Look! The pendant is lighting up. It’s working! You must be warding off the Wrackspurts, Hermione.”

“What?” I look down, and sure enough, the necklace is glowing in a soft pink light.

“It is midnight,” Fleur confirms, though disbelief is etched across her face as well. “And on that note, I should be heading home to relieve Molly from her babysitting duties. Thank you so much for including me, Angelina.”

Fleur stands and begins to wave her wand to clean up the garden as the rest of the girls also get up, deciding it’s best to call it quits too. It’s probably better for them to look as though they were the responsible ones when the boys come stumbling home at two in the morning. Luna takes care of her glass and disappears with a quick pop, and Katie and Angelina head for Fred and George’s old bedroom. 

Ginny and I stand up to help Fleur, but we’re both wobbly on our feet. The world starts spinning around me too.

“Do not worry about it. I will finish cleaning up here. Off to bed with you two.” She shoos Ginny and me into the house. 

We somehow manage to make it up the steps to the first landing where Ginny’s room and the bathroom are. I pop in to use the loo first, noticing the necklace still around my neck. I can’t believe I forgot to give the stupid thing back. Looks like I’ll have to drop it off to her in the morning. 

Once I’ve brushed my teeth, I head back to Ginny’s room, prepared to settle onto the old camp bed I used to use when I stayed here during the summers. But Ginny stops me before I make it into the room.

“Why don’t you go sleep in Ron’s room? He and Harry aren’t coming back here tonight. You might as well be more comfortable.”

“I don’t know, Gin.”

“Just go. I’ve already sent your things up there. Enjoy using his bed,” she urges with a sleepy wink.

I want to argue, but the exhaustion is kicking in and a slightly larger bed does sound appealing. It’s not the way I ever imagined getting into Ron’s beloved orange Chudley Cannons sheets, but it’s the best I can do.

By the time I manage to crawl up to the attic bedroom, I’m barely able to change into pyjama bottoms before I lay my head on the pillow that still smells inherently of Ron. I fall asleep almost instantly, with sweet dreams of a world where he and I are together.

[actuallysaiyan]

Hi!! Can I request a NSFW alphabet for Raditz? I loved the way you wrote the sfw one 💕 Thanks!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Raditz is actually super comforting and great at aftercare! He’s very attentive to your needs, and he’ll clean you up and everything. It’s something he enjoys doing for his partner, and he doesn’t care if anyone tries to make fun of him for it. He knows it means a lot.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Raditz definitely loves his hair. It’s a huge source of pride for him, and if you tug on it while he’s eating you out, you’ve got a man who’s definitely in love with you. He adores it if you brush his hair.

On you, he loves your tits. He can’t help it, it’s just the kind of guy he is. He loves playing with them, and cupping them, squeezing them together, getting a titty fuck if he can...

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

If Raditz is feeling upset or angry, you can expect him to cum deep within you, as if he is trying to mark you as his. It can be a little territorial with Raditz, but he loves you and will always get consent from you. He loves filling your holes with cum, and watching it drip out of you.

He also loves making you cum like crazy too. He’s got lots of stamina and will lap at your weeping pussy until you’re begging and pleading for him to stop from over stimulation.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Raditz loves the idea of you dominating you, but he would never actually admit to that. It’s already that he gets a lot of shit from Vegeta and Nappa for being supposedly weak, so he would hate if that secret got out. If he were to get drunk with you one night, he might actually let you do this to him. It would drive him crazy to have you take control.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Raditz is quite experienced, and he’s a bit of a fuckboy before he gets into a relationship with you. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and he’s got a bit of a reputation amongst the Saiyan women as someone who can make a girl squirt. He’s proud of his experience, but he doesn’t boast about it...well, not too much anyway.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Raditz adores the mating press, or having you ride him. It’s crazy how good it feels when he gets into these positions, but he enjoys the intimacy of things as well, so he can switch it up to missionary or doggy sometimes. Raditz is all over the place with positions, but some nights he just wants his favorite, which is usually you on top.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Raditz can be a little funny and sarcastic during sex, and from time to time he’ll make a sexual joke or remark and it’s funny. You both like to laugh and have fun during sex, because you both know it’s not always supposed to be super serious. If it’s a romantic moment, he’ll keep his composure and treat you accordingly.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Raditz actually likes to keep himself clean shaven and trims regularly. He doesn’t have a whole lot of body hair to begin with, so he enjoys his smoothness. The carpets match the drapes, and it can be a little shaggy and wild down there if he skips out on trimming and shaving. It’s coarse and black hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Raditz likes to have intimacy when he has sex. It can be something that is very special between a Saiyan and his mate, and even though he’s been with lots of women, he’s decided to choose you as his mate. He loves you and wants you to feel wanted and needed when he fucks you. Though, sometimes he can be a little rough.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Raditz will jack off if you aren’t around. Sometimes if he’s out on missions on distant planets, he’ll think of you and start to touch himself. He loves the memories of your best love making sessions and those are usually the fodder that helps him get over the edge.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Raditz has mostly dominant kinks. He likes to pin you down and fuck you hard, but he does also have a blowjob kink, if you’d call it a kink. He loves having you suck on his cock and he adores watching you gag and drool all over his big dick. The way tears form in your eyes is so fucking hot for him. Raditz also has a pretty intense breeding kink, but most Saiyans do.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Raditz will literally take you anywhere. He doesn’t care where he fucks you, as long as he gets to fuck you. He also doesn’t really care about people watching you guys either, since most Saiyans don’t really pay attention to that sort of thing either. Raditz does love fucking you in the shower a lot, since everything is so much slipperier and wetter. It just gets him going if he gets to wash your body first...

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

All you need to do is just squeeze his inner thigh, play with his hair a little and tell him how badly you need his cock deep inside you. He’s also into you teasing him a little and maybe talking dirty as well. It doesn’t take too much for him to get turned on, so you basically only have to tell him that you’re horny and Raditz will fuck you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Raditz isn’t super into anal, nor is he super into golden showers or anything like that. He doesn’t mind hurting you a little if you like that kind of thing, but he’d never fatally hurt you. That’s just not feasible, and considering he loves you so much, he’d be heartbroken if he were ever to take it that far. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Raditz is huge on blowjobs. He fucking loves them so much. His knees go weak and he absolutely loves fucking your face. He’ll make you choke and gag, and he’ll praise you while you deep throat that huge cock of his. It’s one of his favorite things in the world.

But, that doesn’t mean Raditz doesn’t like to give. He’ll spread your legs and slurp at you until you’re cumming over and over. If you try to close your legs, Raditz will pry them open and over stimulate you until you’re crying for him to stop.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Raditz is almost always rough. He needs to let go of a lot of his pent up anger and energy. He needs to take out his frustrations through sex, but you know he loves you regardless. Besides, he knows you can most definitely take it. If he’s feeling needy, he’ll take it slower and be surprisingly romantic. It can be sweet and sensual, but he’s usually rough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Raditz enjoys quickies a lot, seeing as they are always a viable option for him. He enjoys the way he can just pump into you, fuck you hard and then make you walk away with his cum dripping out of you within minutes. It’s like a game to Raditz sometimes, and other times he likes to see how many times he can make you cum in under twenty minutes. Quickies are great, and he enjoys them very much so.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Raditz likes to take risks and he most definitely loves to experiment with you. He’ll tease you around people and probably will get caught fucking you from time to time, but as long as you don’t mind, Raditz doesn’t care. Most of the other Saiyans try to pretend that they don’t see this happening in front of them, so this doesn’t usually phase too many people.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Realistically, he could last for days. He’s a Saiyan, they have godlike stamina and they love to breed and fuck as much as they can. He lasts a long time, unless he’s been needing you for a long time, then he fills you up with his cum quickly. Regardless, you know he’s going to fuck you for a long time.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

It’s not really his thing, but he’s not opposed to them. If you wanted to have a vibrator or something like that, he would use it on you. He just figures it’s more fun if he can make you cum hard. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Raditz enjoys teasing, but he can only take so much teasing before he gets way too aroused. He’ll tease you a little, but if you beg him, he’s going to give in almost pretty much right away. He needs to be deep inside you, feeling your warmth around him. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Raditz is loud, but most of that is dirty talk. He loves telling you what he’s doing to you, or he enjoys making you beg and plead. It just makes him so much more aroused. He generally grunts as he ruts against you, telling you how good you’re taking his cock.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Raditz can be insecure sometimes, so you have to praise him and reassure him a lot. Nappa and Vegeta give him lots of shit, which gets under his skin a lot. It hurts his feelings, but his Saiyan pride makes it hard for him to be able to say anything about it. When it’s late at night and you’re both lying together in bed, he might tell you about how he feels. He trusts that you won’t repeat this information, and you would never.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Raditz has a nice girthy cock. It’s not super long, just a good 6 inches. It’s girthy, thick and it’s hard to get all of it in your mouth with gagging and choking. His balls are pretty nice and big as well, and he likes to keep them shaved clean for you to suck on.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

If Raditz isn’t busy doing something important, he’s most definitely down to fuck. He likes sex to be fun and spontaneous most times, so you can expect his sex drive to be pretty high. He’s not like Vegeta who wants to train all the time and forgoes sex for so long. Raditz needs to fuck to feel good.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Raditz is pretty quick to fall asleep after sex. He tries his best to stay up with you, but once he knows you’re all cleaned up and you’re feeling sleepy yourself, he just rolls over and falls into a deep sleep.

[papa-rhys]

Thoughts on Jack and His Borderline Personality Disorder and How It Shows Through His Behaviour - Because I Cannot Stop Analysing Things That Ultimately Aren’t Important

Symptoms/behaviours under the cut because holy hell this guy has a lot of them. Like, honey, are you okay?

Okay, so I’m pretty sure I can trace Jack’s BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) back to his grandmother. His mum abandoned him, which shows a reckless/irresponsible behaviour and her mum had fits of rage that didn’t correlate at all with the trigger (ie; drowning Jack’s cat because he didn’t make his bed). So I think he has a family history of it, with both his mother and grandmother having BPD and passing it down to him.

Either way, Jack definitely has it. In fact, he’s a textbook case of it.

Impulsivity

Spending sprees: he bought a pony made of diamonds because he was bored and throws money at all kinds of ventures to keep him occupied and because he wants to. I really don’t know how else to describe this one lol. He bought a pony. Made of diamonds. Because he could.

Gambling: won some of the things on his trophy shelf through poker and owns an entire casino. Hunting the Vaults themselves were a huge gamble too, especially the first two, since he wasn’t truly sure that they existed. He was prepared to sacrifice a lot in order to come out on top in both his career and his social standing. All in all, he’s reckless.

Binge eating: he doesn’t even like pretzels, but still eats them because he’s either bored or stressed. Talks about food quite a bit in conversation, too, especially his cravings.

Substance abuse: admits to being high on uppers for the duration of the pre sequel (and his time on Elpis as a whole) and tells further anecdotes about drugs and getting high in tftbl.

Promiscuity/unsafe sex: nothing about having sex with Nisha is safe lol. But in all seriousness, there’s no way to prove this one. He does strike me as the reckless sex sort though. No proof, just 7 years of knowing him as a character.

Emotional instability

Inappropriate trigger response: he strangles a man to death for simply mentioning his wife, stabs Lilith for talking about Angel, and tries to kill Rhys for not being sure about his grand plan (more on this later). His response to triggers is disproportionate, often resulting in extreme anger over small things that don’t warrant that intense of a reaction. He gets big angry about almost everything; there’s no middle ground. His reaction is never really “you’re annoying me a lot” or “don’t talk about that, I don’t like it.” His reaction to almost everything is “oh my god I will murder your first born child how dare you-”

Quickly changing mood: aside from being prone to fits of rage at the flick of a switch, Jack also flicks back to “normal” pretty quickly, too. He flips between telling you to kill yourself after surviving the train and then talks casually about his day. He’ll be filled with rage after Angel’s death and then suddenly he’s laughing about you jumping into lava and having fun tricking you into visiting his grandmother. He can be intensely angry or sorrowful one moment and then nonchalant and sociable the next. His moods don’t last very long.

Idolisation/devaluation

Jack does this with numerous people across the games, but the two shining examples are Moxxi and Rhys; Rhys being the most notable. He idolises Moxxi, complimenting her on how attractive she is and how smart she is and including her in his circle of close friends/teammates. Then the inevitable happens and she lets him down and he instantly changes his opinion on her as if he’d never thought she was good to begin with. The same happens with Rhys. Throughout tftbl, Jack is best friends with Rhys and seems to form a one-sided connection with him where he idolises him and thinks they’re going to be best friends for ever and that they’re the perfect team. You cannot make him mad at you in tftbl (trust me, I’ve tried). He’s encouraging to Rhys the whole way through, like they’re brothers. Then the second Rhys displays doubts about something Jack is passionate about, Jack reacts violently and completely devalues Rhys, claiming him to be his mortal enemy and trying to kill him. People with BPD do this often. They have strong convictions and have a tendency to feel betrayed by people who go against those convictions. Jack does this regularly and it leads to the breakup of a lot of his relationships.

Paranoia

He vented a room full of scientists into space, just in case. I mean, that pretty much sums it up, really. Jack is under a lot of stress at this point in the game and stress-induced paranoia is a particularly difficult symptom of BPD. With him already feeling the pressure, the mention of a possible mole is a huge trigger for Jack. Especially since he’s reeling from the recent betrayal from a friend. His brain is already working over time, planting uneasy feelings of distrust and being unsafe. So when he’s presented with the idea from an outside source, he runs with it. Betrayal goes on to become a big button to push in Jack’s life to the extent that he actively betrays people before they get a chance to betray him (ie; killing Wilhelm). Paranoia feeds into a lot of Jack’s bad decisions, particularly in the pre sequel era.

Delusion

Jack wasn’t lying when he told us that he’s the hero. He absolutely was not the hero at all, but he wasn’t lying about it. Because lying about something implies that you know it’s not true, and Jack genuinely believes he’s a good person. The best person, in fact. It’s not a lie because in his mind, it’s the god given truth. He’s massively delusional, even before the events of the pre sequel. He’ll spout all the cheesy 80s movie lines about saving the moon and being the hero and he thinks he’s the protagonist of his own big adventure. We know that’s not what’s happening, but Jack doesn’t see it that way. Another delusion is the idea he has about how much everyone loves him. He thinks Moxxi is obsessed with him and he thinks Angel is being forced to work against him. He cannot conceive of a world in which people don’t like him or agree with him. Because why wouldn’t they agree with him? He’s the hero. Everybody loves the hero...

Intense but unstable relationships

Moxxi, Angel, Lilith, the Vault Hunter; I could go on. Jack’s relationships with people are volatile and rocky, even when they’re seemingly on the same side like with Moxxi or even Nisha (who he forms a tight bond with very quickly). People with BPD feel all emotions intensely, which causes a roller coaster. Jack really likes Moxxi, but then he doesn’t want to talk to her, but then he wants her on the team, but then he gets mad at her for calling him a pet name and beign friendly, and then he’s telling her she’s sexy, and then he’s cursing her, and then he’s hanging pictures of her in his casino. It’s the same with Angel - he subjects her to physical torture, then he loves her, then he’s mad at her for helping the Vault Hunter, then he’s doting on her, then he’s manipulating her, then he’s grieving for her. Everything is a whirlwind.

Distorted self-image

Oh boy. Jack has this physically and mentally. Mentally in the sense that he thinks he’s a good person when he actions are abhorrent and also because he’s massively insecure. BPD often comes with a lack of identity, which causes insecurity to begin with. Throw that in a pot alongside some childhood abuse, betrayal, work place bullying, and grief, and you got yourself a big pot of insecurity soup. Put plainly, Jack doesn’t really know who he is at his baseline. His personality and interests and ideas and needs all change on an hourly basis. He morphs to suit his circumstances. He can be open, honest and down to earth when he’s trying to trick Rhys. He can be full of worry and desperation when he needs you to head to grandma’s house. He can be cunning and clever when he’s tricking you into killing Wilhelm. He can be fatherly, he can be nasty, he can be torturous, he can be laid back, he can be clever, he can be ignorant, he can be sheepish, he can be cocky. He’s everyone and no one all at once and this probably leaves him feeling very hollow and empty; which is another symptom of BPD. In the physical sense, Jack issues with self image are pretty clear. He wears a face over his face to hide his face. Yup. And he does this because he thinks he’s disgracefully ugly. This scar he’s so vehemently protective of is something that defines his whole persona going forward. He literally claims himself as Handsome Jack, forcing people to adhere to the idea that he’s so attractive that it should be his title. Even though he doesn’t feel that way and does everything he can to hide the real him. He thinks he’s hideous and he struggles between loving himself and hating himself because of it.

Fear of abandonment

Aaaand here we are at the crux of the problem. BPD boils down to the intense fear of abandonment and this is probably what guides Jack for most of his life. His father died, his mother literally abandoned him, his grandmother neglected him, his first wife died, second wife left, girlfriend and friends betrayed him, and daughter killed herself to get away from him. Abandonment is practically coded into Jack’s DNA at this point and every time it happens, it confirms his fears more. He clings to Moxxi after she betrays him - taking her ideas to try and rile her up and even going as far as to recreate her entire bar in his casino because he wants to keep her presence around. He fights tooth and claw against Angel’s rebellion, begging both her and you to stop what you’re doing and leave. The only time he begs you is when he’s facing perceived abandonment, that’s how strong the fear is. His final words to Angel are “I’ll still forgive you.” Jack isn’t a forgiving man by any stretch, but he’ll say anything he has to in order to prevent her from leaving him. He’ll stalk people, he’ll manipulate them, he’ll lie to them or keep them physically locked up - all to prevent them from abandoning him. The worst possible thing that could happen to Jack is that, and we see the spiral he slips into after Angel. After Moxxi. After the Meriff. After his wife. He can’t bare the thought of someone leaving him and he’ll do anything and everything to prevent his fears becoming a reality.

So yeah! There it is, I finally got around to posting it lol. There’s probably a lot more little details that I’ve forgotten, but I cannot think of them right now. I’ll probably update if I think of any more! The tl;dr is that almost all of Jack’s behaviour can be linked to massively untreated BPD. He needed meds and therapy, but he didn’t get them and he spiralled as a result.

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

October 2021 Picks

It’s been a bit, but I’m BACK! Life’s been busy, but I’ve still found time to watch TV (as you can probably tell) and man have there been so GREAT things! I can’t wait to talk about them all. 

I know October is still going on, but as I’ve missed September, I thought why not get a head start. So, without further ado, let’s do this!

Some spoilers ahead....

You’ve been warned....

NANCY DREW-SEASON 3

Is it shocking that I’m starting with Nancy Drew? Maybe, if you’re new to this page. If not, you already know my love for this show. (It runs deep.) The third season started three weeks ago-and airs new episodes on Friday on the CW...Catch up now on the CW app, you’ll be happy you did. 

The start to this season is already SO STRONG and has me longing for the next episode. (I just watched last night’s for the second time already.) The cast is so fantastic, and talented. No matter which pairs are on screen it’s fantastic. (Can I say fantastic too many times?) I love every member of this crew so much. This season we are tracking a serial killer, the Frozen Hearts Killer, and keeping our eyes on Temperance Hudson who has recently returned to Horseshoe Bay (and is definitely up to no good). Romances are blossoming. Nick and George are the cutest and feel like parents. Bess has a growing attraction/hate-love relationship with a new character, Addy, and I’m here for it. (Plus, she’s learning magic and I love that for her.) And the Nancy and Ace crumbs are GIVING ME SO MUCH LIFE. (Check out my other blog @lydia-yougowith-stiles for more shipping fangirling moments. There’s many. You’ve been warned.) 

I’ve gotten at least three people to watch this show since the summer, and it is my life’s mission to continue to get people to watch it. It is hands down the best show on the CW right now, and one of the least appreciated. Give it some love. I mean just look at this good-looking cast.

STARGIRL-SEASON 2

Okay, so I know I just said that Nancy Drew is the best show on the CW (and I stand by that), but Stargirl is up there as a very close second. It is my favorite superhero show on the network (and I used to LOVE everything about the Arrowverse, and now I watch like none of it). 

Season 2 is killing it! Season 1 was really strong and I’ve been planning to re-watch it, and I’m so happy that season 2 is delivering so much. The villain this season is *so good.* Eclipso is so creepy and anytime I see that little kid I want to punch him in the face. He is SOOOOO CREEPY. I’m so frustrated where the new JSA is right now, but that just shows how good the writing is. I literally have no idea how they are going to take him down, but I’m here for it and ready. Losing the Shade last week really hurt, and just adds to my list of people I think the show killed off too soon. (You know how I feel about the Brainwaves-specifically Henry.) That being said, a lot of them get to come back in flashbacks, so hopefully we can see him return in some way. I also really love how this show gets to the point. Barbara being a part of the team makes me so happy as does the progression of revealing secrets. Arrow would have dragged out soooo much. 

So, just like I said for Nancy Drew, watch Stargirl on the CW if you aren’t already. You’ll be so much happier that you did. 

DC’S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW-SEASON 7

Wow, season 7! That sounds crazy. (I actually had to double check before I posted this.) I figured to stay with this CW train we’re on, so here’s the only Arrowverse show I still watch regularly. 

Last season for me was a little rough. I still enjoyed episodes, but I didn’t love it overall. The aliens plot for me felt forced, and Gary being an alien felt like an after thought and way to make the connection stronger. I also felt like we were losing a lot of the legends. The Waverider has always been a revolving door, but for some reason this one felt like so much was changing. So far, this season I am really enjoying it. (I know there have only been what, two episodes so far?) I like how they are stuck in the 1920s, and need to find a way back to the waverider. There feels like a lot more mystery this season (especially with Gideon and her message at the end of 7x02). Can’t wait to see what happens next. 

LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE

Do you remember the old Nickelodeon game show, Legends of the Hidden Temple? Purple Parrots, Blue Barracudas, Orange Iguanas, Sliver Snakes, Green Monkeys, and Red Jaguars sound familiar? If not, have you ever seen anyone wearing one of these TV shirts at a convention or amusement park? (Guilty.) 

Well, if you ever dreamed of being on the 90s Nick competition show, you’re dream might come true as the CW has rebooted it. On Sunday nights journey back to your childhood as adults compete against each other (outside) for $25,000. The games are familiar, but the vibe is definitely different. Olmec feels old, and the legends are no longer PG rated (which I have no problem with, I would probably still not be able to remember them all). I haven’t been getting into it as much as I thought I would. Maybe you’ll enjoy it more.  

GHOSTS

There’s a joke in my house that I don’t remember that CBS is a network. This is because I don’t often watch TV shows on it. Luckily, one of my friends mentioned Ghosts and I’m so happy they did because it’s a lot of fun. 

Rose Mciver (iZombie) and Utkarsh Ambudkar (Pitch Perfect) star in this half-hour comedy as a couple who inherit a house after Mciver’s distant aunt dies. She wants to flip it into a bed and breakfast, while Ambudkar wants to sell it. The twist is that the house is home to several ghosts who have died on the property over the years, and live there for the unforeseeable future. They don’t want the couple to open a b&b because then they would be stuck sharing their home with more of the living. When Mciver suffers a fall and wakes up from her coma, she sees the ghosts and is now the barrier between them. It’s really funny and definitely worth the watch. The episodes go really fast and will have you laughing. Highly recommend you check it out.  

THE WALKING DEAD-SEASON 11

After a show is on for ten seasons, plots start to feel repetitive and you question if the show has to still be on. The Walking Dead has lost a lot of its original cast, and there are times where I ask myself the above. However, this season had some really great episodes. I was excited to see more of the cast in one episode compared to last year when the filming was limited to how many people were able to be on set at the same time. 

Now with the Whispers gone, we have a lot more problems from the Reapers (who I can’t stand and feel won’t be solved with one season, but has to be), to the Commonwealth (which gives me such ‘The Governor’ vibes. I keep saying that their governor/leader isn’t real-even though they show a picture of her in the upcoming trailer). Plus, there’s the feuding within the group: Negan and Maggie. I did really love how they used the Whispers tacit against the Reapers and that finale was EXPLOSIVE. It’s got me hooked for what’s up next. I also love that Darryl is back with us as is CONNIE!!! Her episode with the feral people gave me nightmares. That’s something I definitely didn’t think I’d see on this show. 

GRANTCHESTER--SEASON 6

Completely shifting gears, because I don’t know how else to jump from the Walking Dead. This month the PBS Masterpiece Mystery, Grantchester, returned with its sixth season. I didn’t realize how much I missed this show. The characters, the town, and all the mysterious drama that comes with it. 

There’s already an overarching story, but each episode also brings another mystery with it. I really enjoyed the second episode with the adoption case. It was SO GOOD. My heart aches for Leonard this season. I have no idea how that’s going to go, especially the way the last episode ended. While I liked Sidney, I really like this fresh breath of life the show got with Will. I really enjoy his character, and his dynamic with Geordie. I’m also excited to see the rest of this season. New episodes are on Sundays on PBS. You can catch up for free on Amazon video with a prime account. 

THE BABYSITTERS CLUB-SEASON 2

I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH. Give it a season three right now. 

This adaptation of Ann M. Martin’s beloved book series, released a second season earlier this month, and I watched it so fast. It was SOOO GOOD. I wish it was longer than eight/half-hour episodes. I was laughing, and crying (both sad and happy tears). The characters are so great and real. The stories are heartwarming and feel good, which feels hard to find sometimes. They continue to update the book series in such innovative and creative ways. I can’t stop smiling as I watch. If you want to feel good look no further. You’ll be happy you did. 

SOY LUNA-SEASON 1

Guys! I have made it to episode 62! Are you shocked? I started watching back in June, and hit a lull, but now I am cruising through.  

So much has happened, and now Luna and Simon are a thing? It happened fast, but I don’t think it’s going to last long. Matteo is back with Ambar, which is so annoying and I can’t wait until they break up. Nina is having her webcam call with Gaston as Felicity. (I seriously can’t wait until these two discover who Felicity really is.) There are some things (like Ambar’s sneaky annoying stare) that bother me, but overall I’m having a good time. I will just need to take a break before watching season 2. 

THE OUTPOST

The Outpost finished last month, and I’m so sad to see it go. I was surprised when a fourth season popped up on my DVR (as I’ve said it before) and while they didn’t know the show was ending for good, it had such a strong ending. I’m so happy to see Talon and Garret together and Talon as Queen. It’s the role she deserves. I loved the addition of Luna this season. The gods freaked me out, but thought they were a good villain. I still don’t think Tobin had to die and miss Gwynn, but wish Falista wasn’t around for so long. Munt became one of my favorite characters as the show continued on. Good for him finding love. Janzo and Wren are everything. I wish we could have met their baby. This was an amazing show. More people should have watched it. 

Season 1 and 2 are available with ads on IMDB. Check it out.   

In My Queue 

So excited to watch the second season! Now I have to remember what happened at the end of season one.... 

[gravesightings]

jealousy meter - masked slasher edition

masked slashers jealousy hcs + how to quell their anger.

Asa Emory / The Collector

controls his temper really well but the vibes he gives off just screams murder.

if you’re being hit on, he’ll step in before ushering you behind him. sarcastically asks the stranger if they needed anything.

if they're persistent, asa will get more ....uncivil by the minute. he won’t start a fight though.

if they touch you - he’s going to be PISSED. now it’s personal. he’ll waste no time in prying their filthy little fingers off you.

again, he won’t start a fight but he’ll have any notable features memorized so he can deal with them later on.

rating: 8/10. won’t publicly fight anyone but this man holds grudges. touching you = stuffs them in a trunk for his own twisted amusement. might even show it off to you if he’s feeling particularly immoral.

solution: distract him. cling to his arm and take his attention away from the poor idiot who tried flirting with you. not usually a fan of pda but he’ll have an arm around you for protection. no amount of sweet-talking will stop him from abducting the creep later on though.

Brahms Heelshire

unsurprisingly gets jealous of the only other person you get to talk to.

who takes this long to drop off some groceries? why can’t he take a bloody cheque and just fuck off already?

somehow, in some way, he’s going to figure out how to get that fool out of the house without being seen.

was he... hitting on you? gasp! THE NERVE-- starts breaking objects in other rooms. scatters rat corpses all over the man’s car.

brahms will either be grabby hands at you as soon as you’re alone or just stubbornly keep you in his arms until you make him feel better.

rating: 10/10. hates it whenever the grocery boy drops by, especially when he’s blatantly checking you out. especially if he’s still breathing. AWFUL tantrums during and afterwards.

solution: praise him while showering him with affection. hold him tight and tell him how much you love him. kisses make his anger melt away fast. let him glue himself onto you until the next week or he’ll get upset.

Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface

thinks he’s not exactly ideal boyfriend material and he knows how much you prefer not being a cannibal.

big boy sad. initially gets mad when he sees someone flirt with you, but he’s plagued with insecurities. maybe you wanted someone normal and nice-looking. maybe you’re sick of living with the sawyers.

snaps out of it if he sees you uncomfortable. bubba is quick on his feet! don’t worry he’ll save you!!! literally saws the man in half.

creeper? dead. meat? acquired. yee? haw. he’ll quickly check to see if you’re okay. doesn’t quite understand if you freak out on him.

chainsaw go brrr. bubby doesn’t hold grudges and he’s not mad at you or ...whoever this guy was! he’s a simple man: he sees a problem, he saws it in half.

rating: 5/10. not above keeping you in a room to avoid unwanted attention. just gets sad and insecure a lot. tries to “save” you from everyone.

solution: just as easily swayed. please keep reassuring him otherwise he’s just going to keep tearing himself down. usually just reminding him how much you love him will work but why not give him some extra cuddles while you’re at it?

Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull

very possessive. confident in himself and your relationship but gets an ego boost every time he successfully adds to his body count.

he sees a threat, he eliminates it. simple as that. jesse has more patience than the rest but his violent tendencies tend to get the better of him.

very observant so he’s most likely already blocking you from a creep. uses his towering figure to lowkey cover you. what is he doing, you ask? oh nothing, dear. pets you.

if they still stupidly pursue, he’ll be an asshole about it. “exit’s that way, pal.”

if a stranger tries to reach out for you - it’s game over. let’s just say he might not care if his partner has a weak stomach.

rating: 10/10. bathes in the blood of your fallen admirers. if he feels especially sinister he’ll let them live to pour salt on their wounds. snogs you in front of them after he’s broken both their legs.

solution: literally nothing. jesse’s just the type to kill people for fun. trying to reassure him would just feed into his ego.

Jason Voorhees

believes that his protection is the only thing he can offer you so if he happens to fail at that, he’s going to blame himself for the longest time.

if you’re within the stranger’s reach, alarm bells are rapidly going off in his mind. too close. they might hurt you. silently hopes you run away.

they might not even be able to get a word out honestly? being tackled by jason voorhees probably feels like being hit by a train.

if he’s somehow preoccupied with other trespassers and found you a bit late, he’ll see red as soon as he discovers a horny trespasser had been harassing his beloved!

full speed ahead! all aboard the jason train!

avoids killing in front of you if possible. at the best of his days he’s still questioning why you even stay with him. you’re not afraid of him now but you might change your mind if you see him off someone with his bare hands. it’s a risk he’s not willing to take.

rating: 7/10. similar to bubba, he often tries to “save” you from everyone. he’s also got a lot of insecurities himself so he might keep you in his cabin as an absolute last resort.

solution: heavy dose of TLC. jason’s indifferent towards verbal affirmations - he’s seen people lie all the time. the best way to reassure him is through actions: holding him, mending his clothes, helping around the camp, etc. it’s the little things that have the biggest impact on him.

Michael Myers

the most possessive out of the bunch. stalks you all the time because he’s mike myers and that’s what he does.

hates people and tolerates you at best. people around you though? ick. talking to you and smiling at you? disgusting. doesn’t even smile at you himself, but it’s not like you expect him to. and that’s why you’re his tolerable little thing.

flirting with you? VILE. he’s already made his way inside the premises. mikey is going to back this person into a corner and take his sweet time.

also stalks anyone you meet regularly. don’t be surprised if they rant to you about the harmless but unsettling encounters with a “masked man.”

you are not free from michael’s wrath. he’s going to mark you up in any way he can. if he’s feeling especially territorial he might even show up maskless at your workplace to “pick you up.” (cue him rawing you in the nearest restroom.)

rating: 100/10. AWFUL. he’s gone off the charts, folks! all you need now is a leash and a collar and you’re all set. luckily this hasn’t crossed his mind yet.

solution: bold of you to assume he’s doing this for you. you better believe mikey’s just doing this for his own satisfaction. this man is simply a asshole and nothing can stop him.

Thomas Hewitt / Leatherface

middle man tommy is both insecure and possessive, but he does genuinely care about you. unlike bastard hands mcmike.

very similar to bubba. he’s haunted by his insecurities and believes well in the fact that others can offer a lot more for you than he can.

he won’t jump in with the saw right away, but he’ll immediately come to your side. just kinda stands there and looks as menacing as possible, just silently daring them to try something.

he’ll make sure to put himself between you and the stranger. if they persist then he’ll get to the wrangling. won’t kill them if hoyt isn’t around but won’t let them go unscathed either.

lowkey gets clingy after the ordeal. you need to be in his sights now at all times. won’t keep you around the gore but he’s always within earshot.

rating: 9/10. more likely to keep you in a confined space for safekeeping. you’re too good for this world and tommy’s not about to let anybody hurt you.

solution: very similar to jason, he needs a HEFTY amount of TLC. more actions instead of words. would probably get emotional if you whisper sweet nothings to him though.

Vincent Sinclair

very insecure and would bend over backwards for you. doesn’t get possessive but worries you’ll get tired of him.

he’s also going to convince himself that you’re much better off with a “better-looking” boyfriend that can give you a normal life.

if a victim starts flirting with you, he's already close by, listening intently. wax man sneaky. he’ll knock them out mid-conversation and pull them away from you. saves them for last so they can watch all their companions get waxed.

if they touch you though, he’ll jump in and disembowel them in two seconds flat.

either way - he’s not going to turn them into wax figures. please don’t ask him why. he’s too ashamed to admit his jealousy.

rating: 6/10. stews in his own insecurities and sulks a lot. only time he’ll get angry is if someone touches you inappropriately - then he’ll get extremely violent.

solution: keep him company. seriously, you don’t even need any sort of activity. just do your own thing in the basement while he works on his art and he’ll be more at ease. (but he also enjoys random kisses throughout the day too, he’s just too shy to ask.)

[jacarandabanyan]

📚for the fanfic plot ask thing!📚

Okay so- plot of one (of many) fanfic I haven't written (because to be honest, I don't have the skill to pull this off yet) but often daydream about:

I would love to write a This-Is-How-You-Loose-The-Time-War-inspired spy-vs-spy KisaIta fic. It would feature baby ANBU Itachi trying desperately to find a solution to the tensions brewing between his family and the village (massacre was still a few years off when he first joined ANBU, I believe). This eventually leads to him hunting down all reports/intelligence related to the night of the Kyuubi Attack and finding a few small scraps of information that hint at the existence of the Masked Man.

(He is a pre-teen, so he doesn't really *get* that finding a different scapegoat/"revealing the truth of what happened that night" probably isn't going to fix issues that are rooted in three generations of Village Policy and History, because he may be a genius at killing people but his education has not emphasized critical thinking)

He eventually tracks what little (extremely scant) evidence he has to Kiri, where he comes to believe the Masked Man is operating.

He gets himself sent on endless missions to the Land of Water in pursuit of his pet project, gaining himself a reputation in the process. There are no shortage of missions- the Land of Water is rapidly devolving into three different simultaneous civil wars, and resentment over the last Great Shinobi War lingers enough that Kiri and Konoha will likely never be friends in Itachi's lifetime.

(This is gonna get really long, so here's a read more)

At the same time, recently-made-ANBU Kisame has been mostly assigned to intelligence-related missions, as in canon. However, over the course of his first few months worth of missions, he comes to suspect that there's a leak in ANBU, and he sets about trying to find it and silence it. He slowly develops a reputation for ruthlessness even among ANBU, a cut above the normal Kiri ruthlessness, as he secretly works to get his fingers into every hidden nook, cranny, and conspiracy until he finds the disloyal one.

(And maybe he's projecting his issues/self-hatred related to killing other Kiri ninha just. a little bit. on this mysterious leaker. How dare this person sell out the Village? How dare they give out the information that gets other Kiri shinobi killed? It's easier to hate the faceless traitor than it is to hate himself. And at least he still *has* values. He killed the Few to protect the Whole.)

Over time, as the two develop their reputations, their respective villages start pitting them against each other in the field. Konoha has an unofficial policy of trying to off Seven Swordsmen hopefuls before they can get powerful enough to actually get a blade, and Kirigakure knows that the unstoppable Konoha operative is a Sharingan-user, and Obito-controlling-the-Mizukage is always down to take down his estranged family members.

Danzo is less eager to have Itachi take care of the Uchiha for good, not out of any particular maneuvering on Itachi's part, but because he also remembers the last Great Shinobi War, and how brutal Kirigakure was during it. He sees their ongoing civil strife and fears that one faction will eventually WIN and turn their attention on their neighbors. Itachi has made himself the best operative at getting into and out of Kirigakure- if he wants to interfere from the shadows and keep the civil strife going, he needs to keep Itachi in the field. (Don't worry, he finds other ways to be awful/keep the pressure on).

Itachi and Kisame are a good match-up. Itachi might be a natural genius with a fancy kekkei-genkai, but Kisame has way more experience than him. Also, unlike laser-focused Itachi, Kisame is actually keyed into the intelligence world, so he always has more information than Itachi.

They clash over and over again over several years, and slowly learn more and more about each other. They mature into seasoned ANBU operatives, have epiphanies about themselves and their villages. And slowly come to like each other.

Itachi has his sexual awakening when he sees Kisame rise up out of an ocean of blood, shirtless, effortlessly hoisting a struggling Jonin one-handed over his shoulder, big tooth-filled grin on his face.

They infiltrate each others' villages and insert themselves into each others' missions in disguise. Itachi genjutsus a Kiri team to think he's one of their teammates, whom Kisame secretly has orders to eliminate. He feels a surge of relief when the teammate he'd known since his Academy days dissolves into a murder of crows moments before his sword pierces their chest- his teammate is still dead, but at least this time they were killed by an enemy, not Kisame himself.

Kisame knows his mysterious counterpart is a Sharingan-user, so he infiltrates the Uchiha compound to tease out what the situation is with the clan in Konoha right now (and maybe see if he can figure out who his counterpart is).

While he's in the village, tracking kekkei-genkai users, he discovers Root and exposes it. This is both a huge win for Kiri Intelligence and put Danzo in a tricky situation, since he supposedly disbanded it.

Eventually Kisame figures out that some of the leaked information is making its way to Danzo, so he goes to kill Danzo and try and figure out who he's getting his information from. This is right around when Danzo's started making threatening noises towards the Uchiha again, since Root was just rediscovered (by foreign intelligence, no less!) and he needs to redirect attention off himself and onto the Uchiha. He's even considering the total elimination plan again- Itachi's work in the Land of Water is valuable, but not more valuable than consolidating control over the Village.

(Or perhaps he doesn't need Itachi for this- Shisui is also a talented ANBU operative, after all. Sasuke was originally supposed to be the spare Uchiha left alive in the village, so they wouldn't loose the precious Sharingan, but it's becoming increasingly clear that while he's good, he's not as good as Itachi. Why keep the subpar tool and throw away the masterwork?)

Itachi develops a humorous problem where he's leading three different fake lives, and is covering up with by genjutsu-wammying anyone who might notice anything suspicious in the timing of his long absences. He's infiltrated Mei's rebellion as a spy who needs to disappear a lot to go do spy stuff, while at the same time pretending to be an official in the Water Daimyo's court, while also posing as a regular Kiri Jounin.

His Regular Kiri Jounin act is so solid, they give him a genin team. One of the genin is related to the civilian official he's impersonating in the Daimyo's court, and she constantly comes to see him and tell him all about her sensei. On of the other genin on the team is related to a the Mizukage, and Mei orders him to kidnap that genin away from their sensei, which is also him, so that he can be used as leverage. The third genin turns out to be a secret kekkei-genkai user, and actually wants to be kidnapped away to the rebellion so that they won't have to live in fear of being discovered, and also because they hate the current government. This genin who wants to be kidnapped is constantly fighting with the genin he's actually supposed to kidnap, and whines that "Sensei, you're not supposed to play favorites! Why do they get to get kidnapped but I don't? They don't even want to get kidnapped!"

(Itachi the Regular Kiri Jounin, who is Unquestionably Loyal and Totally Not a Radical Who Would Join the Rebellion, ends up dating Kisame, whose identity as an ANBU is technically a secret. This relationship runs on willful ignorance.)

Kisame and Itachi would end up taking each others' places at some point to take down each others' mentors- Kisame walks right into Danzo's office looking like Itachi, and no one blinks when they sense the genjutsu because Itachi is always casting genjutsus. No one even realizes anything's wrong until Danzo's dead and "Itachi" is making his getaway.

Itachi would be approached by Fuguki at some point with an offer to sell information, and immediately realizes that this is Kisame's leak. He argues to Danzo's replacement that the value of Kiri's ANBU turning on each other is greater than the value of having someone willing to sell the occasional nugget of info. He has to work not to laugh behind his ANBU mask, because Konoha nin just don't get how down Kiri nin are to turn on each other at the drop of a hat. "Turning Kiri ANBU against each other" please, as if the Seven Swordsmen don't regularly train their own murderers. As if one of the fastest ways to gain cache isn't by offing your superiors. It's like Konoha Intelligence knows nothing.

He wins his case, and reveals what he knows to Kisame, who goes and kills Fuguki like he did in canon. Obito reveals himself, same as in canon, and Kisame immediately knows how he's going to pay Itachi back. He's still disillusioned with the Shinobi world like in canon, but he had his initial Pit of Despair moment years ago, when he figured out there was a leak in ANBU and that truly there were lies everywhere. He's learned how to compartmentalize since then.

He pretends to join Obito so that he can feed Itachi information. Together they take down Obito, revealing his crimes to both Kiri and Konoha.

It should be over then- Kisame found the leak, Itachi cleared his family's name- but it's been around a decade at this point. Both of them have played so many roles as spies that they don't know how to go back to who they were before.

Itachi's almost spent more of his life in the Land of Water than in the Land of Fire at this point, and he certainly knows more people there than in the Land of Fire. He's passed his twentieth birthday by now, and he's no longer a pre-teen with no concept of the world and his place in it outside of Konoha Propaganda/Brainwashing. He doesn't know how to relate to Sasuke's fierce, uncomplicated desire to grow up to be the best Shinobi, because how can he think that's a good thing at this point?

Meanwhile, Kisame still kind of hoped that killing the liars/traitors who had sent so many Kiri-nin to their deaths would make him feel better about all the comrade-killing, but it doesn't. He can't seem to reconcile his absolute loyalty to the Village and its ideals with his disgust at everything they do.

For a brief while, he and Itachi join Mei's rebellion for realsies (Itachi still as one of his undercover roles) and help her topple the Bloody Mist government and install a new one, but it's not enough. What she's proposing is still a Ninja Village. It's better than what there was before, but that's not really a ringing endorsement.

Itachi's the first one to decide to walk away. He lets Kisame "kill" him on a random mission in a way that doesn't lend itself to a body being returned or retrieved, then settles down and builds himself a life as a secret kekkei-genkai child who grew up hidden like Mei, but never learned to be a proper shinobi. He spends his days at a quiet house outside Kiri proper gardening and making jam by the side of a lake Kisame made during one of his fights with Itachi. There's a ghost town near the lake, emptied during the Civil War years. He develops a reputation as a ghost.

Kisame walks away not long after. He can't really leave, of course- unlike Itachi, he has no desire to settle down in a foreign country, and too many people know him here- but he does step away from active duty. He "kills" Itachi The Regular Kiri Jounin-Sensei and takes his genin team for himself. The kids know something's up because their Sensei still visits them sometimes, though he half-heartedly tries to convince them he's a ghost. They help spread the story about the ghost living by the lake anyway, just in case anyone starts investigating.

Kisame quietly moves out of his shitty Kiri apartment to join Itachi by the lake. Some of the seven swordsmen do come investigating then, but when they discover that Kisame's just moving in with his squeeze who he really sexily fake-murdered, they decide not to do anything about it. Besides, they like Itachi and don't want to have to write up a report about how dangerous it is to Kiri security that he lounges around a lake all day, drawing birds and cooking elaborate meals in an attempt to blend the comfort food of his youth with the produce and spices native to Kiri that are honestly more familiar to him at this point than the ones that grow in the Land of Fire.

Itachi sometimes goes and visits Sasuke and Shisui back in Konoha, but mostly he hangs out in his new home and lives out his soft, domestic, non-violent dreams with Kisame and his cute little genin. It's a sappy ending.

[unforth]

Could you elaborate on the parallels between the Scorpion and his dad and WKX and Purple Danger? I find that thought really interesting! <3

Oh my god you're asking me for meta? No one asks me for meta!!! Getting this made me so happy, thank you! And yes, I'd be delighted to!

Lemme preface this by saying: I have not read the book, and I've only seen episodes 1 through 27, and while I do know some spoilers for past what I've seen, I don't know everything, and I obviously can't speak to changes in dynamics that may happen past what I've watched.

So, I noted in this post that I felt like I'd just gotten slapped in the face by the parallels between Zhao Jing, and his relationship with Xie-er, and Wen Kexing, and his relationship and Gu Xiang. Specifically, the lines in episode 26 that caught me were these:

And the contrasts and similarities that they drew to these scene from Episode 24, which I watched yesterday:

(all screen caps are by me - I won’t have more screen caps just cause I really don’t have time to hunt them all down, I’m sorry, but the first two were easy to grab, and the second two I’d already taken cause that scene really got to me yesterday).

These lines, coming only two episodes apart, seemed like a really stark and deliberate effort to show a connection in the attitudes of Zhao Jing and Wen Kexing. They've also got some similarities in the childhood/history that got them to this point: Zhao Jing's family was fallen from grace, as was Wen Kexing's. Both are noted as seeming different from the "regular" people around them - Wen Kexing, it's explicit; with Zhao Jing, it's more how others seem to behave around him. It's harder to get a sense of Zhao Jing, since his own self-report is so dubious and the flashbacks we get to the Rong Xuan era are all given from the perspective of different unreliable narrators, whereas Wen Kexing's memories seem fairly intact (well, water of forgetfulness aside) and match the other remembrances we get of the same scenes.

With those similar, dubious foundations, they both resolve from a young age to take revenge for the perceived slights committed against them - and both have decided that regardless of who the specific instigators are for their suffering, they have no compunction about involving innocents as a whole. Zhao Jing wants the power he feels has been denied to him, and sets about conspiring to get that power. To achieve that, he sets about on a course that involves lying and using literally everyone who can help him. Likewise, while I'm still definitely missing some damn important of Wen Kexing's backstory (starting with, who protected the dog for him, and how he went from "kid getting regularly beaten by the previous ghost king" to "adult who is said to have literally eaten the previous ghost king"), he also clearly sets out to gain power through whatever means he can, and to survive, though from the get-go, his goal is essentially the inverse of Zhao Jing's: Zhao Jing wants to lift himself up, and sees nothing but virtue in doing so; Wen Kexing wants to bring everyone else down, and knows he's damned through-and-through for it.

(They're parallels, not matches, just to be clear! It's not that I'm saying everything is the same - on the contrary, it's the differences that makes it so intriguing).

Now, then, at some point relatively early in this entire process, each of these young men found a child. Given that Xie’er and Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishou are of the same generation, presumably they’re all around the same age - 27 or so - and also presumably, the previous generation were all in their late teens to early twenties when they had their own disastrous round of adventuring. So, if Xie’er is, say, 25, and Zhao Jing was probably around 20 (since he was one of the younger folks in the flashbacks), and 20 years have passed, and Xie’er was probably around the same age as child Wen Kexing when he was found? (I don’t know, and I don’t know if that’s ever established, sorry) So around 7? Then we’ve Xie’er being adopted by Zhao Jing and Wen Kexing being adopted by the Ghost King, each almost exactly 20 years ago. Presumably, also, Zhao Jing marries...drat, I can’t remember her name...was it Li Yao or something???...right around the same time - hence why Xie’er would think of her as a mother. Anyway, sorry, I’m really tired and I just lost the thread slightly, but the point is: a 20-or-so-year-old Zhao Jing finds a young Xie’er; and a few years later, a likely-early-teens-aged Wen Kexing finds a toddler Gu Xiang (because Wen Kexing is 27 now, and Gu Xiang is I’m guessing around 18, and she’s likely 3ish when Wen Kexing finds her, so that’d make her 3 or 4, and him 12 or 13). 

And here’s where the parallels really show the essential differences between these men, despite the areas of commonality in the hate they hold toward the world and their desire to see the world brought low.

Because, given a small child, Wen Kexing’s immediate, clear thought is: I will never let this child experience what I have been through. Now, he’s busted, and he’s crazy, so from that point of view, he still does her harm: she thinks of murder as nothing (as does Xie’er) for example. But even in that, the motivations are different. Gu Xiang says it herself after she kills the beggar and Cao Weining confronts her about it: if a person is out to harm her, if a person even might harm her, isn’t she justified in killing him? If that isn’t the quintessential Wen Kexing lesson right there, I don’t know what is: “Gu Xiang, you don’t kill because I tell you to, and you don’t kill for fun, and you don’t kill for no reason - but the moment, the very instant, you have a reason? Don’t hesitate, because if you do, you’ll be the corpse, not them.” Everything Wen Kexing teachers Gu Xiang is with the aim of helping her survive in the cruelest environment in the world, one that has flayed him and raked him over the coals over and over and over again. Further, despite the hints I’ve seen so far that he has early allies at Mount Qingya (Tragicomic Ghost has been shown to at minimum pity him, and find him an odd curiosity), Wen Kexing entrusts no one else with the most vulnerable creature who has ever come into his life (well, aside from that adorable puppy, which I have the bad feeling is going to be shown to be horribly murdered before his eyes, possibly by his own hand to prove a point...that would be thematically appropriate...). He gives Gu Xiang the tools to survive and fight for herself, even against him, and when she even begins to suggest she might prefer to be somewhere else - when he sees evidence of her finding happiness - he does everything he can to encourage her joy, support her happy ending, and free her. Wen Kexing is Gu Xiang’s father, in every useful interpretation of the term - she may call him master, and others might call her his maid, but their relationship is tender, encouraging, mutually supportive, and loving. Wen Kexing wants what is best for Gu Xiang, even at the expense of his own comfort and happiness, because he cares for her that essentially and deeply - and she likewise goes out of her way to protect him more than once.

MEANWHILE.

Given a small child, though I haven’t yet seen any flashbacks to when Xie’er was little and I don’t even know if there are any, it’s really obvious that Zhao Jing instantly goes, “how can I best use this to my advantage?” Instead of setting about to build this child up to be a functional adult who can stand up to the challenges that threatened to crush Zhao Jing’s life, Zhao Jing deliberately sabotages Xie’er’s ability to function as an independent unit. He teachers Xie’er to kill, not to protect himself, but on command - to kill because Zhao Jing says so, who Zhao Jing says, on even the merest whim, and is so successful at doing so that Xie’er has even less respect for life than Zhao Jing does (which was never much to begin with). Further, while we know that Wen Kexing will kill to protect Gu Xiang, Zhao Jing never so much as lifts a finger to do his own dirty work, and has zero compunction about throwing Xie’er under the bus when he suits his ends. In 27, he flat out says - “if you keep acting like this, and kill the Gentle Wind Sect, you’ll ruin me - which means I can never let you stand next to me in public.” He says this when he knows that Xie’er craves his approval and that one of Xie’er’s most cherished objects in all he’s done is to reach a point where he can stand at Zhao Jing’s shoulder as an acknowledged heir and successor and proudly say, “yes, I did all those things to help my father, because I’m a good son.” Further, Zhao Jing is constantly abusive and manipulative. When Xie’er does what Zhao Jing has trained him to do, on command (like a dog? more parallels??), Zhao Jing praises him, touches him kindly (and when else do you think Xie’er is ever getting touched kindly? Nothing like the casual and appropriate physical intimacy with which Wen Kexing and Gu Xiang shoulder bump and interact) and tells him how precious he is. The instant Xie’er steps a toe out of line, Zhao Jing denigrates him, threatens to take away that which Xie’er most wants (acknowledgement), scolds him, calls him a fool, says he doesn’t understand. Zhao Jing calls Xie’er his son, and insists that Xie’er call him yifu, and the world may even see that way - though they hardly can, since Zhao Jing refuses to be publicly associated with Xie’er - but they couldn’t be less related when compared to Wen Kexing, who allows all to see him call Gu Xiang his servant even as he flagrantly, publicly, repeatedly treats her as his child - culminating in the speech he gives Cao Weining when he gives permission for them to wed.

Everything Wen Kexing does, as fucked up as some of it is, is done with the aim of building Gu Xiang up into a strong, independent, functional adult who is less stained than himself and capable of pursuing happiness in the world.

And everything Zhao Jing does, all of which is equally if not more fucked up than what Wen Kexing does, is done with the aim of tearing Xie’er down, making him a powerful tool - a trained dog, if you will - and a dependent person who can be deployed on an enemy and must be kept permanently off-balance so that he never ever is an independent, functional adult - and, to help ensure that, he deliberately orders Xie’er to commit depraved acts that guarantee that Xie’er is more stained than himself, and therefore incapable of finding happiness in the world.

Anyway, I could probably go on, but I gotta leave to drive my kid to school and run a couple errands, but, in conclusion: when Zhao Jing said, “the world has failed me, and I shall do the same to the world,” and it became clear to me that he and Wen Kexing essentially share (or at least shared) the same core goal, I was struck by a lightning bolt about the parallels and contrasts between them as people, and them as father’s, and here you go.

Hope this is coherent, I’m really sleepy and in a rush. :D And I hope it answers your question!

(Also dear everyone: if you reply to this or add to it in reblogs I ask that you please respect that I’ve only seen to episode 27, and not rip me apart for things I haven’t seen yet, and try to avoid giving me spoilers? I know a few - or at least I think I do - like I know all the Major Character Death stuff - but I’m sure if you’ve seen the whole series you can spot places where you, dear reader, know things I don’t, and I’d ask that you not ruin those places for me, because I’m watching as fast as I can - about one episode a day - and I’d rather find out for myself. Thank you!)

[bloededhoine]

I notice a lot of fans don't really bring up how Roche uses Ves for her "feminine qualities (for lack of a better word)." I hate that in Witcher 2 he sends her to Loredo dressed as a prostitute and it is implied she does this sort of thing regularly? I do know that Roche cares for her but sometimes his behavior needs a reprimand. Do you have any thoughts on this?

i absolutely love questions like this because they really make me think. plus, this is one of the rare posts that's a system special! give @claire-verlaine your love. she's simply amazing.

first things first, spoiler warning for chapter 2 of roche's path in w2 and big trigger warning for discussions of sex work, sex trafficking, rape, war, unequal power dynamics, and brief mentions of underage prostitution. also this is really fucking long. sorry.

let's start with the geekiness: prostitution as a cover for espionage has a long and awesome, albeit poorly documented, history. it was really big with the confederacy (read: racists) during american civil war, and while their motives were undoubtedly awful, these spies were simply amazing. rose o'neal greenhow was recognized by the confederate president for her role in their victory at the first battle of bull run. belle boyd seduced a union (read: racists but more covert) general, found out the date and location of the next war council, drilled a hole in the floor in the meeting room, and sat in the crawl space and took notes of the entire thing.

although there were many successful female union spies, most of them didn't use sex. there's no clear consensus on why this was, but it's entirely possible that such enlightened progressives figured sex work to be demeaning. clearly, union men were avid consumers, but also thought women didn't know any better and needed to be protected from men who would exploit them. meanwhile, these awful southern racists had no problem with "exploiting" women, but inadvertently granted them a shit ton of political agency and prestige!

this all brings us to our next point, which is that nothing is inherently wrong with sex work, although it does put workers in incredibly vulnerable positions. for every spy that successfully used prostitution as a cover, there were likely many others that failed. without even considering the consequences of being discovered as an enemy spy, sex trafficking was (and continues to be) a very real risk for anyone in that situation*.

nearly the whole history of sex work legislation shows how little people, especially upper class men, understand it. the spies in the civil war were both lucky and unlucky in that they operated quite independently. they didn't need to take orders from someone who was entirely unqualified to give them, but they also had no safety net in case something went wrong. if belle boyd so much as sneezed while eavesdropping, there would be almost no chance she'd get back home alive.

however dangerous this job was, most lady spies during the civil war began spying before they were even recruited by the army. these women weren't doing it on anyone's orders, they were doing it because they had the skills and believed in the cause (remember that in this case that belief was not an admirable quality).

rose o'neal's (possible) handler, thomas jordan, had a huge network of spies, and all evidence points to him giving her way more independence than usual. thomas jordan wasn't who rose went to for orders, he was who she submitted her reports to. in my opinion, the sex she had to obtain this information was consensual.

ves' scenario is obviously different in regard to her chain of command. she is going into sexual situations under the direct orders of a (male) commanding officer. just writing this has the alarm bells going off in my head. what good is having someone to get you out of a dangerous situation when they were the one to put you in that situation in the first place? but this is where we get to what's special about roche. he is, as they say, not like other girls.

it's no secret how much roche loves his team. when the blue stripes are killed he says that everything he loved died. if ves dies in an eye for an eye he is absolutely devastated. the blue stripes aren't just roche's subordinates, they're his family. when you see the stripes outside of battle the camaraderie is even clearer: they fist fight their commander and each other to blow off steam, they play games, have contests, etc. ves' knowledge of roche's dark and troubled past is more proof that the trust goes both ways.

roche would never put his family in an unnecessarily dangerous situation, nor would he have them do something he personally wouldn't do. even if it's just from a morality perspective (like double crossing radovid for the man that had foltest killed), roche goes it alone.

so, we know roche is a (compratively) good guy. but we also know that intention, often, doesn't mean shit. i mentioned earlier how most of the people making decisions for sex workers have little to no idea of what they are doing. it doesn't help that their intentions are all about controlling (mostly) women and getting rich in the process, but even the best meaning legislator could unknowingly do a lot of damage. roche is way more involved in ves' missions than thomas jordan was in rose o'neal's, but i think that's a good thing.

as i'm sure you lovely witcher connoisseurs know, roche is a literal whoreson. he is very aware of what goes on in brothels, and, depending on how you read into his relationship with foltest, what it's like to not really be able to say no. if anything, roche's involvement here is a good thing, since he has years of first hand experience with exactly what ves is going through, but without the safety net of an elite team that loves him and are frighteningly good soldiers.

plus, ves is far more capable than your average soldier, even in a blue stripes-calibre group. she's an absolute badass. most women who used prostitution as a cover for spying went into it with no combat or espionage training whatsoever. they knew how to be personable, how to be seductive, and how to use men's biases to get them to spill all their secrets. clearly, this knowledge served them well, but what about the occasions when it didn't? they were not fighters. at all. ves has both the "feminine charms" and the terrifying combat skills. of course, these scenarios usually have her acting as a spy, not an assassin, so those skills are more of a failsafe, but it's still very important to her own safety and the morality of the whole situation.

TL;DR

to sum up, anon, i do agree with (what i assume to be) your reasoning, but not the conclusion you came to. if someone told me an older male superior was having a younger female subordinate act as a prostitute to gain intel during a time of war, i'd be ready to start cutting off dicks.

but that's not the whole story. the older male superior has a personal background in (possibly) coerced and underaged sex work. the younger female subordinate is a highly skilled soldier, and second in command of an elite unit. both of them have a very close familial relationship developed over several years. a similar relationship exists between the the other members of the unit in their command. personally, i think those factors make this a completely new situation.

that being said, i'm certain that my beliefs aren't the only ones out there. as long as we can all agree that the base scenario is unequivocally wrong, there should be absolutely no reason to (civilly) not discuss whether or not the special circumstances make it okay.

* i'll take this as an opportunity to say that the enforcement of anti-sex work laws force sex workers to be either a criminal, a victim, or dead. these laws are the problem, not the solution. the solution would be supporting unions for sex workers, giving them the same legal protections given to any other worker, and treating them like humans, not statistics.

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

‘Big Killer Clone’

Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars + Original Character

Collection/Series: N/A

Pairing: Captain Bear (Clone Trooper OC) x  GN! Reader

Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff​ aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long​

Rating: T

Warnings: Angst, a senator is a dick to our boy. He’s very unhappy and upset, but there’s a lot of comfort. Swearing, a lot of angst, my friends.

Summary: There is only one person Bear wants to see after a senator makes a comment about him being a danger to the younglings, and that is you. 

Notes: Inspired by this comment by @alamogirl80:  I bet he specifically requests to work in or near the Jedi temple so he can escort the crèche younglings. And it breaks his big ol heart when certain clone hating senators make comments to the crèche master that it’s dangerous to let a “big killer clone” like him around the kids. 

I just picked a random corrupt senator for this.

Mando’a:

Shebs’palon - asshole

Shebs - Ass

Vod - Brother

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Bear likes working in the Jedi temple, he likes the Jedi themselves. They’re respectful, generally kind and do not treat him as if he is some mindless machine or identical clone without a personality or views of his own. But, what he likes most about working in the temple is that he is almost always put on creche and youngling duty. 

It is a well known fact that Bear enjoys working with the little ones, even more so that the little ones enjoy his presence. He has a ‘way’ with them as he’s been told time and time again, something many of his other brothers struggle with. He enjoys being asked to escort the younglings through the temple or to stand watch during their break times between lessons, to make sure they do not get up to mischief or in some cases help them get up to mischief. Some clones complain that it’s glorified babysitting, but he likes babysitting. He’d rather nurture and protect the little ones than fight and kill. It suits him better. 

It is fun for him to stand there and smile as the little ones run and play, as they act like children for the few precious moments they are allowed. It warms his heart when little arms wrap around his legs in a hug or the children choose to use him as a living climbing frame. He feels wanted, needed, useful. The children do not balk or shy away from him despite his large size, they are not scared of the scar that covers his left cheek and they do not mind his deep voice. Instead they run to him and call his name and demand he play with them, they like him, and it is in many ways bittersweet. 

They are lovely, sweet. They cause a smile to light up his face, and yet, they are a reminder of what he isn’t allowed to have. What he isn’t allowed to have with you. He is a clone trooper, romantic relationships are not allowed. He breaks that rule regularly to be with you. Families, children, aren’t allowed either. A babe would be harder to hide, a family almost impossible and so they remind him of the thing he so desperately wants but is told he cannot have. He hopes...he hopes that one day he can have that, but hopes are not realities. 

Still, it is his favourite duty and so he does not expect to leave the jedi temple that day in a foul or unpleasant mood. He expects to be full of life, energy and smiles, after a day of children chattering away at him, drawing new things on his armour and sharing their new tricks with him. He always left the temple in the best mood.

But that shebs’palon of a senator Danry Ledwellow, the Er’Kit, small and blue, had ruined his day. Completely, entirely and only with a passing comment hissed out from behind sharp teeth and a look of distrust and disgust. It didn’t matter that Master Yoda had come to Bear’s defence or that he didn’t care much for the senator at all, the fact remained that his mood had been ruined. 

He was used to comments. He was a clone. There were many people that distrusted them, disliked them, and made it clear what they thought whenever they were given the chance. When he was shiny, it had bothered him more, as a cadet he would get angry, frustrated, irritated. As he grew he learnt to shrug it off, that it didn’t matter so much. Once you’d heard one insult, you’d heard them all...or so he thought. 

He’d been watching the younglings train when Dandry had made a passing comment with disgust riding his voice to Master Yoda, about how ‘dangerous’ and ‘irresponsible’ it was to have a ‘big killer clone’ like him around such small and defenceless younglings. As if Bear would ever hurt them, as if he could ever be considered a danger to them, as if he knew Bear and knew who he was and what he was capable of. 

He had, in the moment, chosen to stare straightforward, to bite his tongue and let the feeling sit inside his chest. His helmet was in place and that helped to hide the anger he was feeling. He was surrounded by little one’s, many under the age of 7 and he refused to give into emotions that would only confirm that senator’s views or scare the little one’s. He left Master Yoda speak in his defence, in truth, barely hearing the words. His mind was cloudy with frustration,fixed on replaying the words ‘dangerous’ and ‘killer’ over in his mind. 

The children had noticed a change after that, tugging on his fingers and demanding he sit as they clambered around him and told him stories. They tried to lighten his mood, something he was grateful for but that failed. He pretended for them, although he suspected many did not believe him, their natural intuneness with the force allowing them to sense his mood better than many. 

Kal and Delta didn’t ask when he stormed into the barracks intent on putting away his armour and leaving as soon as possible to see you, knowing that you’d find a way to brighten his mood like you always did. It was obvious to the two of them that an angry Bear was best left well enough alone, they didn’t see their captain storming around often. They shared a look, both deciding they didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his shitty mood. Kal returned to cleaning his blaster and Delta pretended to fall asleep in his bunk.

The new kid, Jammy, or Shiny as they’d taken to calling him looked on with trepidation. He’d not been with the squad long, a couple of months, and in that time his Captain had always been smiley and cheerful or neutral at worst. He’d never actually seen him angry, it was...a little intimidating given Bear’s already immense stature. He decided it was best to just not stare at his captain. 

Sunny didn’t seem to have the same worries as the rest, “What’s eating you, Cap?” He’d stopped mid way through messing with those vibrant orange curls of his, hand still raised to the top of his head. It was clear to Sunny that his vod wasn’t his usual self, especially considering it was known he’d been working with the younglings that day. He was never in a bad mood after working with the younglings. 

“Don’t want to talk about it.” He’s already by his bunk unlatching each piece of his armour and putting it away in his footlocker. He doesn’t want to hang around and the intensity of the stares from his brothers isn’t helping his mood. He’s not usually quick tempered, that’s Kal’s thing. In fact, he rarely finds himself having any sort of outburst, but he can feel it rising in him today. It’s unwelcome, unfamiliar. He doesn’t like how angry he feels. How his mood is changing, shifting. How one stupid senator could change his whole mood just like that. It was stupid. Who cared what a low level, unimportant senator thought? It shouldn’t even bother him...but it did. 

“You sure?” 

“Yes!” It comes out clipped and harsh, a shout that has Bear’s shoulders dropping with a sigh. He turns his eyes on Sunny, with an apologetic frown, “Sorry...I just, I don’t want to talk about it, Sunny, okay?” The regret mingles with the anger and frustration and it tastes like rot on his tongue. 

“Yeah, yeah, hey. I shouldn’t have pushed. Anything we can do, vod?” He’s concerned for Bear. Sunny has never seen his brother, his captain, so agitated and it’s worrying. But he knows Bear will tell them about it later, when he’s calmed down, when he’s got his head back in the right space. He was the most level headed of all of them, he’d sort it out himself, even if he didn’t ask for help. At least, not from them. The whole squad knew there was only one person he’d want to see right now, you. 

Bear shakes his head, dark brown curls flying with the movement as he lets them loose from the big bun he’d shoved them in that morning to get his helmet on. 

“No...Just need some time.”

In truth Bear just wants to get away from the Barracks and run to your quarters, to hold you in his arms and bury his face in your shoulder, to breathe you in. You are a comfort to him, greater than anything he’s ever known and his soul is calling for you, calling for your gentle touch and soothing words. He knows you’ll have the right thing to say, that you’ll ease the anger that bristles his shoulders. You always manage to brighten his day, to make things seem better even when they’re at their worst. 

It’s you that he runs to after a difficult mission. It’s you that he seeks out when he wakes in the middle of the night from some bad dream or memory. It is you who he goes to when he needs comfort. He loves his brothers, but he is still their captain and there are just some things he can’t do around them. Being entirely vulnerable and open is one. 

“I’ll...I’ll see you late, vod.” 

They don’t ask where he’s going as he storms out of the barracks in only his blacks. They know.

The corridors are filled with his brothers, some nod in recognition, others ignore him, not knowing him personally. None stop to talk to him, perhaps they notice his mood or perhaps they’re too busy, either way Bear is grateful. He’s even more grateful that your quarters are down an empty and quiet corridor, where no one can see him coming and going or stop to question why he’s there. 

It’s late enough in the evening that he knows you’ll be back soon, that your shift will end and the medical droids will take over for the night, unless there’s an emergency. 

You gave him the code to your quarters months ago, he’s memorised it so well that he doesn’t even have to think as he inputs it, muscle memory does the majority of the work for him instead. He knows your quarters as well as he knows his bunk in the barracks, has his own drawer of clothes there, nothing fancy, but you insisted he have something comfortable and cozy to wear when he stays over. 

He uses the refresher first, cleans the dirt off his skin and if he turns the temperature higher and lets the hot water attempt to burn away the comment, then that’s something he won’t mention later. It helps, a little, but not entirely. 

You're tired when you finish your shift, always are. Being a doctor for the GAR was exhausting and today was no different. Still, you have enough wits about you to notice the lights are on and there’s a familiar pair of boots by your door when you enter your quarters. 

“Bear? You here?” You call out to him, kicking off your shoes and shrugging out of your doctor’s coat. You hear a muffled ��here’ from the direction of your bedroom and wander in that direction. 

You can tell he’s used the refresher before you see him, just by the smell of warm water and soap that permeates the air in the corridor, there’s a warmth to it that says it wasn’t long ago and that’s confirmed by the sight of him still wrapped in a towel on the edge of your bed. 

Bear has his elbows on his knees, hunched over with his face in his palms. His long brown curls are wet and mussed, his skin has a tint to it that says he had the water on too hot and he looks decidedly unlike himself. It worries you the moment you see him and you find yourself kneeling beside him, knees unhappy about the hard floor. It matters little when he’s so clearly upset. 

You’re gentle as you pull at the hands covering his face, they are easily double the size of your own and cover him too well, hide him from you. The moment you can see his eyes they shift to you, deep and sad, it’s clear something has happened and it makes your chest ache. 

You keep a hand in his while your other cups his cheek, stroking softly over the freckles that dot his skin like constellations without names. He leans into your touch, a heavy sigh that falls from his chest and with it some of that tension that he holds in his shoulders too. 

“What happened, big?” 

Your gaze feels like it’s scanning his soul, intent, but not unwelcome, he begins to speak freely for the first time all day. His mouth wraps around the words like they’re poison and each element of the story only deepens the frown that furrows your brow. 

“Senator Ledwellow stopped by the temple today while I was watching the younglings, shebs thinks I'm a ‘danger’ to the younglings, a ‘big killer clone’ he called me, as if I'd ever hurt them! I’d die for those little one’s, I’d...I’d...I’d never...I’d never hurt them!” There are tears streaming from his eyes, big fat ones that call to how deeply the thought of ever hurting those children or being thought of as a danger to them cuts him.  

“I know, big, I know! Hey…” You cup both cheeks with your hands, pulling his face closer to your own as you reach up on your knees to meet him. His skin is warm against yours as his forehead comes to rest against your own, but his tears are cool and wet as they drip from his skin onto your own in rivers. 

You stay there, rocking slightly with him as he cries. It is the sort of cry that wrenches free from the depths of his chest hard and raw and causes your own throat to close up with emotion. 

You have seen Bear sad, you’ve seen him scared, but those were small things. The melancholy of a bad memory or the fear from a nightmare, this is...this is different. It speaks of the fear he has deep within him that he is a danger to those children, that he is the big bad killer clone and not who you know him to be. Safe. Kind. Gentle. Caring. Loving. You have never doubted your safety in his presence and you have never doubted the safety of any child around him either. 

You want to storm from your quarters and find Senator Ledwellow, to slap him across the face or at least give him a good talking too. To even think, to even suggest that Bear was anything but gentle with those children, to suggest he would hurt them, be a danger to them...it lowers your opinion of the senator and swaps your mood from worried to angry. 

Still, Bear needs you more than the senator needs a slap, so you stay and you hold him to you. Letting his tears wash over your skin and his large hands grip at your back and shoulders as if that will ground him and keep him sane. 

It feels like hours by the time the tears and the gasping slows, and a quick glance at the time tells you it has been. You are gentle as you tug him to his feet and help him dress, there is a new exhaustion that fills his bones now. The sort that can only come from crying out all your emotions. He is grateful as you tug his legs through a comfortable pair of trousers and carefully maneuver his head and hair through a shirt. 

“Sit down for me, big.” You sit him at the edge of the bed again and grab a comb from the side, the one that goes easily through his curls and pulls the knots free. He is quiet as you tug at the knots and braid his hair back and out of the way for sleep. 

It’s a little thing, something he would have forgotten to do, but that makes the world of difference when he wakes in the morning. It is the little things you do that make his chest ache for you, his heart hurt in the best sort of way. You know him. You care for him. You treat him with a  tenderness that most don’t because of his size and his place as a clone trooper. Today is a day that he especially needs that tenderness, so he lets you braid his hair without comment and lets you ease him under the covers of your bed before you get into your own night clothes. 

You look radiant. That’s what he thinks when he watches you dress. There’s something about the low light of the lamps across your skin and the fabric of your night clothes, silky and shiny, that makes him wonder if you aren’t secretly part Diathim, glowing, angelic and something more. 

You tread carefully, turning down all the lights before slipping under the covers with him and urging him to rest on his side, back facing you. He doesn’t question nor does he complain as you curl against his back, holding him as if he were smaller than you and capable of being the little spoon. 

It is comforting, the way your legs tangle with his own and your arms wrap fully around him. The weight and warmth of you at his back as you press little kisses into the space on the back of his neck. 

“I know you, big. I love you and I don’t think you’d ever do anything to put those children at risk or hurt them. I hope you know that about yourself too.” You murmur it into his ear, soft and quiet, almost afraid to speak too loud and disrupt the peace. You tighten your grip on him and hope, hope that he doesn’t think he’s a danger to the younglings, hope that he doesn’t doubt himself because he is the gentlest person you have ever met. 

He can’t find words, not really. Can’t express the gratitude and love he has for you in that moment. That you allow him a safe place to cry and feel, so be something other than captain and clone. Instead he reaches for your hand on his stomach and holds it in his own, presses it to his heart with a squeeze before pulling it to his lips and pressing a kiss to your skin. 

His beard tickles the back of your hand, like always, and it instantly makes you smile. He doesn’t need to say it, you know he loves you and you don’t expect to hear it tonight. Not after the tears and the clear pain he’s gone through. 

Still it is a lovely surprise to hear, when he clears his dry throat and quietly whispers, “Love you too, Sunshine” at you. His voice is raspy and deeper than normal, dry from his crying and his words are soft and quiet, barely audible. 

You pull him tighter against you and hold him, rubbing circles into his chest and pressing kisses to his neck for a good hour before he falls asleep. The quiet little snore he does, oddly not irritating or disturbing at all, a noise you’ve grown fond of, rhythmic in nature lets you know he’s officially asleep. 

It’s only then that you let yourself fall asleep as well. Only once you know he is asleep and won’t be awake and alone that you can allow yourself to drift off, content in the knowledge that he’d be okay. You promised yourself that if you saw Senator Ledwellow any time soon you’d have a bone or two or maybe ten to pick with him.

                                               ------------------------------

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[woman-loving]

Policing Lesbians in 1950s-70s Sydney

Selection from Unnamed Desires: A Sydney Lesbian History, Rebecca Jennings, 2015.

This section describes how lesbianism could be subject to policing even in the absence of explicit criminalization, and how public silence around the issue of lesbianism contributed to confusion over the legal status of lesbian behaviors in a way that aided repression.

Cultural attitudes toward homosexuality in mid-twentieth century Australia were shaped in part by the strong legal stance on the issue. Male homosexual activity was legally proscribed under the Crimes (Amendment) Act 1924, but lesbianism was never explicitly criminalised in New South Wales. Official concern over female same-sex desire appears to have been extremely limited and there is no evidence that the question of legislating against lesbianism was even debated in government circles. Some cultural commentators were critical of this apparent oversight. Dr McGeorge, member of a special committee appointed by the NSW government in 1955 to examine problems associated with homosexuality, complained: ‘No investigation into the lesbianism aspect of it has been suggested. It should have been. The investigation is overdue.’[7] Claiming that ‘ordinarily normal and healthy’ young girls were being seduced into the practice by subtle, older lesbians, McGeorge argued: ‘The authorities, unfortunately, seem to regard this as too delicate a question to be tackled openly. Because of its increase, it must e brought into the open and fought in the open.[8] For McGeorge, lesbianism was a social evil which posed a threat to young women and needed to be both publicly debated and legally proscribed.[9] However, his views did not find support amongst legislators and the special committee of which he was a member was never to publish a report.[10]

While the political will to tackle the issue at government level was limited, concern was apparently greater in the police force. In her autobiography, NSW’s first woman police officer, Lillian Armfield, suggests that female homosexuality was a matter of concern to the police. Referring to the case of Iris Webber, a notorious criminal and lesbian in interwar Sydney, Armfield commented:

“[Lesbianism] is a problem the authorities must face, and it is a difficult one. It will require the co-operation of the wisest and best of our medical specialists, police, clergy, and welfare workers, because it is on the increase. Those who practise it aren’t all as open about it as Iris Webber. They are furtive and subtle, and the leaders in the cult are shrewd and persistent in their eagerness to corrupt others ... Sooner or later, and the sooner the better, this menace will have to be faced by the authorities. It is a menace too serious to be ignored just because it is such an ugly and unpleasant issue to drag out into the open.”[11]

Members of the Vice Squad apparently shared Armfield’s view that lesbianism was a ‘cult which, unfortunately, has a much wider vogue than the average citizen suspects.’[12] Such attitudes helped to share the stance of the police toward lesbianism, and despite the absence of any specific legislation prohibiting sexual acts between women, the police utilised a range of minor, broadly defined offences to target lesbians, thereby rendering certain forms of lesbian practice or identity illegal.[13]

The strongly disapproving attitudes of some members of the police force, combined with the absence of a public discourse on lesbianism and the enforcement of laws against male homosexuality, produced considerable confusion about the precise state of the law relating to lesbianism. Margaret, who became aware of her own same-sex desires in the late 1950s, recalled having a general sense that lesbianism was prohibited. Having met a young woman at work to whom she was attracted, she was apprehensive about approaching the woman for fear of the consequences:

“Well, I felt that this was a big responsibility for me, seducing this young woman and putting her on this path to disaster or that I’d get into trouble, surely, because it wasn’t appropriate to do that--I don’t know if it was a criminal offence, but I suppose if somebody found out about it, it’d be pretty serious.”[14]

While Margaret was unsure of the exact consequences she might be faced with, the perception that lesbian sexual practice was, in fact, illegal, was relatively widespread before the 1970s and both the police and members of the public--including lesbians themselves--acted accordingly. When 15-year-old Sandra Willson attempted to put her arm around an older female friend in 1950s Sydney, the woman called the police and a female officer warned Sandra: ‘You do realise that your behaviour constitutes a criminal offence?’ She was told that if she contacted the woman again, she would be brought before the Children’s Court.[15] A few years later, her sexual practices brought her into contact with the police again. Now 17 and living with her girlfriend in a small Bondi flat, Sandra wrote to a friend describing her new domestic circumstances. The letter fell into the hands of the friend’s mother who, believing Sandra’s lesbian relationship to be illegal, contacted the police. That Sunday, Sandra and her girlfriend Barbara were at home in bed when the police arrived at the door. Referring to Sandra’s letter, an officer claimed: ‘New you can’t try to deny you are a homosexual because the letter states quite plainly that you are. And that you are living with this other girl as “man and wife.”‘[16] The police searched the flat, apparently commenting on any evidence that the two girls were sharing  bedroom, and Sandra recalled:

“They acted like a law unto themselves and I hated their bastard hides for it. I wanted to rush them to attack them, but their size alone showed this would be folly. But I was also cowed by the feeling that they were right, and I felt such shame. I knew it was a criminal offence to make love to anyone of one’s own sex Men over the age of eighteen could actually go to jail for up to three years for it. Not a public performance, but for an act done behind their own bedroom doors, in their own home and lodgings.

It was a criminal act. Against the laws of God and man!”[17]

The police took Sandra and Barbara down to Central Police Station on Liverpool Street where they were charged with ‘being exposed to moral danger’. Sandra, who, as the elder of the pair, was portrayed as the seducer, was sentenced to detention at the Girls Training School in Parramatta, while Barbara was released into the care of her parents.

Child welfare legislation was widely used in early and mid-twentieth century NSW to control socially unacceptable, but rarely criminal, behaviour by teenage girls. Kerry Carrington and Margaret Pereira have argued that ‘The blurring of delinquency and neglect led to the expansion of juvenile justice intervention into the lives of young people which allowed the Children’s Court the jurisdiction to punish children for non-criminal conduct.’[18] Girls were charged under the NSW Child Welfare Act 1939 as either ‘neglected’ or ‘uncontrollable’ and ‘exposed to moral danger’ for behaviours such as truancy, sexual activity or being the victims of sexual abuse. A broad range of agents, from the police to social workers, education professionals and psychologists, advised on and intervened in cases, basing their determinations as much on family and social background and current medical and psychiatric theory as on the specific details of the relevant offence or charge. Girls could be sentenced to an indeterminate period in a child welfare institution such as Parramatta Girls Training School, sometimes only ending when they turned 18, although girls charged with a criminal offence would usually only remain for between six and nine months. There was no formal system for distinguishing between girls convicted of a criminal offence and others, although a broad attempt was made to keep girls deemed ‘corrupt’ apart form the rest. Conditions in the home were tough and perceived misdemeanours were punished with solitary confinement or harsh and humiliating tasks such as the scrubbing of floors.[19]

For adult women, a range of other laws related to vagrancy and public decency were utilised by the police to express disapproval of lesbianism, in the absence of specific legislation against female same-sex activity. In the decades after the war, dress codes were employed to contain the activities of butch lesbians in the public sphere, although confusion was again widespread as to the precise state of the law in this regard. Sandra Willson, who regularly dressed in men’s clothes on the street in 1950s’ Sydney and occasionally wore men’s suits to work, made enquiries into the legality of this practice. She was informed by her parole officer that wearing men’s clothes was not in itself illegal, but masquerading as a man was: ‘There is nothing illegal about it’, she was told, ‘as long as you make no attempt to portray yourself as a male. You can’t, for instance, use a men’s urinal but will always have to use the women’s convenience.’[20] Laurie, however, recalling her experiences as a butch lesbian in Sydney in the 1960s and 1970s, maintained that laws did regulate women’s dress. ‘Some law,’ she said, required that, ‘With the butches, in those days, you had to wear, if you dressed butch--three piece suits and that--you had to wear a bit of women’s apparel, didn’t matter what.’[21] Rae agreed, claiming: ‘Back then the laws were quite strange. God help you if you didn’t wear a bra, for example, because, if you were picked up by the police, you had to be wearing three pieces of women’s apparel. Now I don’t wear a bra, if I’d been picked up, I’d have been really in trouble. No, you had to have three pieces of women’s apparel on.’[22] Vagrancy laws, which prohibited indecent and disorderly behaviour, had been used in NSW and elsewhere in Australia to target cross-dressing since the nineteenth century, although research has demonstrated that the penalties faced by those who came to notice of the police could vary widely.[23] However, it is unclear whether any law specifically defined male impersonation in terms of items of apparel and it is interesting that the apparently widespread belief in such legislation is also reflected in US butch lesbian communities of the postwar period. In their study of a lesbian community in Buffalo, New York, in the mid-twentieth century, Elizabeth Kennedy and Madeline Davis note that ‘Many narrators mention the legal specification for proper dress, although some said it required three pieces of female clothes, [and some] two.’[24] Kennedy and Davis were unable to locate ‘a New York State law about what constitutes male or female impersonation, despite the unanimity of narrators on the subject’ and, drawing on the work of Nan Hunter, concluded that ‘a judge in a particular case made a ruling that two or three pieces of clothing of the “correct” sex negated male or female impersonation and that set a precedent used by law enforcement agencies.[25]

Laws against insulting or offensive behaviour were also interpreted broadly by police to include demonstrations of affection between women or visible manifestations of a lesbian identity. Addressing a seminar on ‘Female Homosexuality’ at Sydney University in 1975, Helen Coonan outlined a number of ways in which lesbians were discriminated against in law, and noted that ‘lesbian behaviour can be prosecuted and has been prosecuted under the catch all phrase of “offensive behaviour”.’[26] In 1978, the feminist and gay press reported that two women had been arrested and charged for hugging on the grass in a Sydney park.[27] Women in lesbian bars were also subject to police harassment. Jan Hillier, a Melbourne butch lesbian, recalled the ‘frightening times she and her friends experience don a trip to Sydney in the 1960s:

“I remember I once went to Sydney with Hank and Speedy and a few of the butch lesbians. We all got on the train and off we went and we got all dolled up and went to some gay bar in William Street. Well Bumper Farrell raided the place, scooped us all up and put us in the Darlinghurst cells for the weekend. We were only kids, 16 or 17. He locked us up for being drunk and disorderly and left us there for the whole weekend. No charges were ever laid. On the Monday we had to go back to Melbourne to work. I was terrified my mother was going to find out I’d been in jail ... I’ve never been that fond of Sydney.”[28]

Such police tactics continued into the 1970s and, in March 1978, lesbian and gay campaigning group CAMP NSW complained that clientele at the lesbian nightclub Ruby Reds had been arrested on charges of using offensive language.[29]

While no legislation explicitly targeted female homosexuality, therefore, the very absence of a public discourse around lesbianism and the law left women in considerable doubt as to which behaviours were legal and which, if any, were not. As a result, many women absorbed a general and ill-defined sense that desire between women--and any outward expression of it--was not only unacceptable but potentially punishable in some way.