#and i hope the whole thing makes some sense

[luckykiwiii101]

ONE THING ABOUT BEING THE QUEEN OF DELUSIONS? IT GIVES YOU A LONG WAY TO FALL

p.s. this post isn’t pretty, it wasn’t worth my time, or effort.

Hey Upper East Siders. Gossip girl here. Usually i’m here to help you fix your life, but @loaisacult, this one’s for you. And I can’t name any upper east siders more desperate than, well…you. It’s pitiful I know. But you can cry about it later, if you haven’t ran out of tears already, that is.

I don’t mean to start a fight, but there’s a weak link in every chain, and it just happens to be you.

I know you express your belief in the law of assumption being a cult. The funny thing is, when people don’t like something, they usually walk away, unless it bothers them that much. And the even funnier thing is, you complain about bloggers “preaching” the law of assumption, and getting others to follow. But what are you doing? Preaching your ideologies, in hopes that others will follow you too. Oh what’s that word again…hypocritical was it?

And oh sweetie, no one cares about your irrelevant opinions enough to affirm “@loaisacult doesn’t exist, @loaisacult doesn’t exist…” Talk about a weak argument. I hope law isn’t your major. But you know what is major? Your idiocy.

Calling people on this app suicidal? Pathetic. Although I can’t tell you that isn’t true. Because to some extent, it is. And i’d agree with you if you weren’t so ignorant. But I guess changing self in terms other than just loa isn’t your cup of tea. Bloggers are not meant to be personal therapists for people in the loacommunity. And yes there are and were previously some bloggers who would get suicidal asks from anons and just respond to them to persist. But why are you generalising EVERYONE in the community? Your point is immediately invalid. So because there were some immoral bloggers who would act that way automatically means that the whole entire practise of the law of assumption is a CULT? Hello? Do you hear yourself?

Let’s use your “logic” here. Say gossip girl makes a post telling her followers to worship satan. Therefore the whole entire loa community must ALL be satanists! Now how ridiculous is that…

Yes there are liars, everywhere. Oh i’m sorry, did that come as a surprise to you? You didn’t think the world was rainbows and sunshine did you? Well unless you assume it is. But at the same time, there are honest people too. Yet you like to pick and choose what to focus on. Look me in my virtual eyes and tell me that Lady gaga isn’t one of the most famous people on the planet. Oh wait..you can’t! News flash, she manifested that. And so did many of your other favourites. Yet you choose to focus on liars, because that’s what you want to believe. Of course a close minded, one sided argument is your way to go. Disregard everything else in the process why don’t you.

“It's ironic how some boast about manifesting luxury items like Lamborghinis, which could easily be rented, yet they fail to manifest meaningful change for their followers who are in abusive situations.” - l.o.s.e.r

“Want to prove to your followers who are spiraling about the American election rather than post persist hehehee how about you manifest for them….. change the election revise life’s an illusion while you’re crying about having your rights taken away lol but you can’t.” - l.o.s.e.r

Run upper east siders, we’ve got an idiot on our hands. Making a point on something completely false. If you really understood the law, you’d know that you can’t manipulate somebody else’s reality, unless they assume you can. But it’s not to my surprise that you didn’t know that, of all people. Last time I checked, it’s YOUR imagination, and nobody else’s. So WHY would YOUR 3D reflect THEIR imagination?

In short, you make points about “why don’t you manifest for your followers 🥺” Well, I don’t know if you knew this but…there’s this concept called free will. And just because someone chooses to not do something, doesn’t mean they can’t. Is common sense just not part of the package for you? It seems the point flies right over your head faster than you can catch it, and the only thing that doesn’t land, are your “points”.

But if you still don’t understand me, let’s use a little bit of your so -called logic here.

‘Loa is real manifesting is real shifting is real but most people in this community lie and are culty 99.999% of the stories here are lies the people doing that shit don’t even post abt it probably think they’re in some dream most of the success here are creative writing and living in the end.” - l.o.s.e.r

From YOUR logic, couldn’t I just ask you to manifest that the liars don’t exist and that you no longer view the law of assumption as a cult? So why haven’t you…? You’ll ask anyone questions but yourself. And if they think it was a dream…then how did they send their success stories to bloggers? Did I miss an update because last time I checked, you can’t do that in a dream.

And don’t get me started on how statistically IMPOSSIBLE that is. Do I even have to explain why? I promise you, thousands of people are NOT lying for the pure fun of it. Wouldn’t they rather shit on loa just like you rather than posting success stories hoping it’ll happen?I didn’t know talking out of the wrong hole was in fashion these days. But then again, not everyone has style. And if there’s one thing money can’t buy, it’s class. Was that a moth? Must’ve flewn right out of your wallet.

Now don’t get me wrong, i’m not bothered to read your whole blog and all the nonsense you cry about and debunk every little thing you say. Because trust me, common sense does the job for me.

Have fun continuing to “preach” your delusional idea of the law being a cult to yourself and your little followers. Like sheep. One after the other.

Don’t even think about trying to respond to me, as if anything you say makes sense.

P.S. I’ll delete this post later, I don’t like having drama on my blog. This is my first and last time addressing you. I just don’t want people in this community, including my followers to listen to idiots like you telling them that all the success stories they’ve read are fake, when that is so obviously not true. The fucking audacity. Disrespectfully, shut your mouth and don’t open it again.

- gossip girl

[obeymestory]

I don't know if you do these, but could you make a scenario of the demon brothers taking care of MC while they're pregnant with their kid?

Of course!! I was kinda waiting for someone to ask me to do one of those things. <3

Warning!!: Slight mature mentions!! Hope you enjoy this though my dear lambs.

✒ Lucifer 🖋

Would be shocked at the first mention of you being pregnant, asking you to take a test to confirm the pregnancy if you hadn't already, then putting his hand on your belly and feeling a huge sense of admiration towards you for carrying his child, as well as a huge sense of responsibility.

Would do his best to make sure you're always comfortable.

Would help you downstairs even when you're just a few weeks along.

Would probably have you near his desk on something comfortable while he does his paperwork so he could be there immediately if your water were to break.

Would think your food cravings were strange but would fetch the food for you immediately.

Always pick things up for you, even if you just dropped something.

Probably be more stressed in the delivery room than you were because of him wanting everything to go smoothly, and because he's worried about you and your guys' baby. "What's taking the doctor so long?" (Referring to the doctor being late, you're the highest priority to him.)

Have Barbatos make you tea every night to help you relax, especially when you start having contractions.

Would rest his hand gently on your belly while you're napping near him, happy to be the father of a new soul.

Probably wouldn't have coitus with you until he knew it was alright, and even then he would make sure to be gentle, resting his hand on your belly while he pleased you, mainly only focusing on your satisfaction.

Be more focused on you to the point where Diavolo or his brothers would have to do some of his paperwork while he took care of you.

When the baby kicks he immediately rests his head gently on your belly, having a small smile on his face as he remembered that he helped make such a lovely being. "I can't wait to meet you."

💰 Mammon 💸

Would think that you were messing with him at first upon telling him about your pregnancy with his child.

Always wanting you not to be too active and to constantly be comfortable.

Would instantly fetch your cravings and not question them.

Would rest his hand on your belly and rub it every now and then when you both were spending quality time together, especially when watching movies.

Would talk to your belly like the baby was able to listen, mostly complaining about how the baby was making you feel during pregnancy. "Why ya' always gotta make yer' mommy throw up, huh? She's doing all this work for ya', so ya' better be a good kid when ya' come out."

Would freak out as soon as you said your water broke, rushing to get you the care and doctors you needed.

Would probably try stacking poker chips on your belly, considering it both quality time for you and your guys' baby.

Would worry about you during contractions, pouting the whole time and asking if he could do something to ease the pain.

If you were to suggest coitus to him, he would accept immediately, then process what you said and ask if it's okay to do while you're pregnant. He'd be rough or gentle for you as long as you and the baby were safe. "Yes! ...Wait- is dat' okay for us to do?"

Would constantly ask if you were okay, and if you weren't he'd comfort you to the best of his abilities.

When having hot and cold flashes he'd probably fan you with a wad of cash or wrap his arms around you to warm you up.

🪼 Leviathan 🍡

Would think that you're pranking him at first as you said that you were pregnant with his baby, then once you confirmed that it wasn't a prank he'd tear up and hug you happily. "Not funny Y/N... you shouldn't joke like that... w-wait... r-really? I'm gonna be a daddy? *sniffles happily*"

Would cuddle you constantly and hum anime intros as he rubbed your belly, picturing showing your guys' baby a bunch of anime as soon as they were born.

If you were to suggest coitus he would be extremely hesitant to agree, and he would only finger you or eat you out.

Would turn on your favorite anime while you were having mood swings.

Would not know what you meant when you said; "my water broke" and would gasp and instantly call out for his brothers to help you as he made you all comfortable. "Hmm..? Your water broke? What does that mean? O-oh... OH!! The baby's coming!! GUYS- THE BABY'S COMING!!!!-"

Would caress your belly as you had contractions, giving you a worried expression.

Would probably suggest names for the baby first, and the names would be based on anime characters you like, not what characters he liked, what characters YOU like.

Would let you play video games when you had more severe mood swings, like extreme anger.

If it came to it, he wouldn't be mad if you ended up accidentally throwing up in his tub-like bed, he'd clean it up and start putting a little trash bag near you so it wouldn't happen again.

Would buy you a whole new bed so you weren't uncomfortable laying in his tub-like bed.

Would gasp as he saw the baby kick, asking if that hurt you or made you uncomfortable.

📚 Satan 🐈‍⬛

Would blink as you told him you were pregnant with his child, he would promptly close his book and blush deeply, still taking a full minute to process what you just said then get up and pull you into a tight yet careful hug. "You have no idea how happy I am."

Would read a bunch of books on human pregnancy, wanting to know how to take care of you during the next nine months.

Would have a good idea on how parenting goes, but would still check out a bunch of books from the library about parenting just in case there was something he didn't know.

Would read you a bedtime story every night, keeping one of his hands on your belly as he read from his book.

If you were to suggest coitus he would agree, having learned that it's beneficial during childbirth, and wanting to satisfy your needs as much as possible, being gentle and sensual the entire time.

Would pick everything up that you were to drop, hold the door open for you, and help you down the stairs without hesitation.

Would suggest healthier foods if you were to ask him to go get certain things you were craving, but would abide by your wishes.

Would already be prepared for you to throw up, keeping a trashcan nearby you at all times.

Would make sure you're laying on your left side whenever you would take a nap or go to bed.

Would put both of his hands on your belly as the baby kicked, being extremely happy, especially if the baby would constantly move, knowing that it meant the baby was healthy. He did feel bad that you were uncomfortable every time the baby moved though.

Would have you in the royal medical room as you reached your last month of pregnancy, wanting to be entirely prepared, and remaining beside you no matter what, even if you were to say that you were fine and he could go do his usual things. "No. I'm not leaving you both whatsoever."

Since he was a straight A student he could just skip school to take care of you.

💄 Asmodeus 💅

Would gasp and widen his eyes, covering his mouth at the revelation of your pregnancy, squeaking happily and kissing you lovingly, immediately suggesting name planning. "Oh my goodness!! We need to start thinking of names!!~"

Would agree to coitus, but would be gentle, he'd also do it as many times as you wanted.

Would massage you every night, especially your breasts since he knew they were producing milk and were gonna be sore soon.

Would wash you in the bath and take care of all your self care needs.

Would hold your hair back carefully as you threw up.

Would shower you with compliments, especially when your belly starts growing in, knowing you might be insecure about yourself due to your body changing but saying that he loved you no matter what. "Oh hon. You're gorgeous... especially your skin. It's so radiant and youthful, I'm so jealous~"

Would whisper sweet nothings and comfort you as you cried or had mood swings.

Would design a HUGE baby shower for you both.

Would paint his and your nails to the color the gender was revealed to be.

Would record a video of the baby kicking, happy tears welling up in his eyes as he replayed the video over and over, asking for your permission to post it on Devilgram.

Would kiss all over your belly and murmur a soft "I love you~" to your belly every night before murmuring the same thing in your ear.

Would help you to the hospital gently and carefully, holding your hand all through labor and giving you little whispers of encouragement the entire time.

💪 Beelzebub 🍔

Would take a whole six minutes to process you telling him that he made you pregnant. "Wait-....Really? We're having a baby?"

Would carry you everywhere and anywhere, no questions asked. The bathroom, downstairs, the kitchen, the delivery room, etc!! (He'd even wake up to help you to the bathroom.)

Would not mind your food cravings, but he's making you eat a bunch of healthy stuff afterwards if your food craving wasn't healthy.

Would watch your belly with sparkles in his eyes as the baby kicked, putting both of his hands on your belly. (It's like that gaze he gives whenever he sees food.)

Would love to go out and buy baby stuff with you, especially baby clothes.

Would place a piece of his meal on your belly, calling it; "Feeding the baby."

If you were to ask to have coitus during your pregnancy, he'd put his hand on your belly and get worried about the baby, needing you to tell him it was good for the baby beforehand, and he'd do it rough or gentle for you, just as long as the baby was okay.

Would pick up everything for you, carrying everything you were attempting to carry, and holding the door open for you if you did convince him that you were okay to walk instead of being carried everywhere by him

Would let you squeeze his hand as hard as you needed during labor, staying beside you no matter what and giving you encouragement just after the doctors do.

Would probably give you hot or cold food when you were having hot or cold flashes. He'd give you cold food when you were hot, then hot food when you were cold.

Would immediately learn to start carrying a vomit bag around for you just in case, rubbing your back as you threw up.

Would get scared at first once your mood swings started happening, feeling guilty until you or one of his brothers reassured him that it was part of pregnancy.

🌌 Belphegor 💤

Would gasp as soon as you said you were pregnant, diving down and resting his head on your belly for a while, nuzzling against your skin and having a dorky lazy smile on his face, knowing you were carrying his baby.

Would definitely join you for naps, offering to massage your chest before he used them as pillows.

Would definitely use your belly as a pillow at one point, listening for movement with his ear pressed against your skin.

Would definitely help you make a nursery, "testing" the baby's bed to make sure the baby would be comfortable. "Hmm? Oh. I'm making sure the bed is okay for our baby. Would you like to join me?"

Will always make sure you're comfortable and laying on your left side when sleeping.

If you were to suggest coitus he would do it very gently, knowing that you were more sensitive now and treating you very delicately.

Would hum or sing soft lullabies to you and the baby to help you fall asleep.

Would probably become more clingy during this time, helping you everywhere and caressing your belly whenever he had the chance.

Wouldn't mind your mood swings, offering his body pillow to punch if you ever got angry to the point where you needed to blow off some steam.

During labor he'd ask Beel to help carry you as he comforted you all the way to the delivery room, caressing your hand as you squeezed his hand for dear life.

Would probably suggest some constellation related names. "Maybe Cygnus? For a boy. Or... Andromeda? For a girl?"

(Hope you enjoyed this!! My ask box is still open, so feel free to ask or send anything!!~)

[ganondoodle]

the closer we get to arcanes finale the more worried i am bc so often .. if not always .. things i like end in a way that i dislike so much it ruins everything else for me

and im so worried they pull a 'this is a multiverse' thing bc then they can say every skin is somehow canon bc its all different universes you seeeeee and jayce went mad bc he lived through all of them or something, or force it to end in a way that makes the champions end up like they are in game- Vi is a shitty cop, Jinx is just heehoo craycray bc xyz etc

[saras-almanac]

So I’ve been sitting on my feelings about the BuckTommy breakup and handling of it for a while, trying to get my thoughts in order. And after a while of thinking on it—and the recent Lou interview dropping making me feel like my feelings are valid—kind of made me want to just blurt them all out and hope for the best. So this is that.

Ultimately the entire handling of the BuckTommy breakup feels cruel. And not just cruel in an intentional way, but cruel in a casually, not even given any thought cruelty, which is worse sometimes. And to be honest, I think that’s part of why I’ve been struggling with it so much. (That and the echoes of Magicians season 4, which if you know you know).

What I mean by cruelty is just the lack of any real effort or care put into this storyline, one that they had previously been handled with so much care and concern and were praised (rightly so) for at the time. It’s the way they introduce this Tommy as Abby’s ex thing, which makes hardly any sense at all, but also feels cruel in the intention of laughing at the invisible string of fate theory between them. It’s they way that they’re 6 months anniversary and not only have they not talked about this, but Buck (Evan Buckley) didn’t get him a gift that feels cruel because that feels so wildly out of character for him. It’s the way they had the break up play into some bisexual stereotypes at best and inherently biphobic at worst by having Maddie suggest Abby turned him gay or that Buck needs to “explore” things to figure out what he wants or that Buck “Doesn’t know what pond to jump back into” of it all. (Not to mention the comments from OS about wanting Buck to fuck—which I’m not getting into because I didn’t read it and as a bisexual woman, don’t feel the need to go and try to find something that might upset me more.)

All those reasons are why the breakup itself is cruel to the characters, but it’s also cruel to those of us watching, and especially to anyone and everyone who loved and/or related to the character of Tommy, who we see walk away much much worse off than when we found him. It’s the way the story (intentionally or not) is framing it like a romcom break up – make up – pining storyline which they apparently are not doing according to interviews. It’s the way they didn’t give any sort of closure to Tommy for the character or for the audience.

There’s a reason that people lose themselves in stories—it’s because they follow certain rules and contracts. It’s expected that stories do not match up to real life because while things don’t have bigger meanings in life or they don’t work out according to plan, in stories, everything happens for a reason. Because that’s the whole point of what you’re consuming. And along with that, emotional moments are meant to feel cathartic in a way, at least eventually, because you were able to see the bigger picture, to feel the finality to things, and to really understand what’s being said and what’s happening. This breakup does none of that and actually seems to have been included and rushed for shock value and that to me, is just shitty, lazy writing.

If you were going to break them up and have no desire for any sort of reunion or closure, why not make it intentional? Tommy could be the one who wants marriage and kids and settling down and Buck internally freaks out because theoretically he wants that but maybe it’s too soon and as much as Tommy loves Buck, he’s not going to wait around and hope that Buck feels the same for him because he’s been hurt too many times like that. Or Tommy could be leaving for another state because he’s no longer going to be a firefighter or needs to go for family reasons or gets a job at a different station that he applied for ages ago and he has everything all set up and isn’t going to ask Buck to leave his entire life for Tommy, so they decide to breakup even if it hurts both of them. In either of those cases, it’s sad and devastating, but at least there would be some closure to it and understanding of it for both the characters and the audience and some peace knowing that at least these two are going to be moving toward happiness in whatever way that means for them.

Instead, what we have, is a hail-mary last-second breakup that comes out of nowhere and feels abrupt and crappy in the way we leave Tommy specifically because we might never see him again. And that is the crux of the issue. Because the way this was written, the understanding is that they are going to get back together or reunion or at least have that final closure conversation—because that’s what happens in stories. We see this type of surprise breakups, breakups where they issue is they love each other too much and are afraid to go further (Athena/Bobby and Maddie/Chimney to name two examples we saw in universe) only to eventually fight to be together and realize that if they don’t take a chance they might never know how amazing it is. So the fact that it’s set up to follow this same path while nearly every interview is telling the opposite, again demonstrates that casual cruelty as well as an inherent failure on the writing. If you have to go in interview and explain what it is you wrote or are telling, then you have failed as a writer. It’s really as simple as that.

This breakup doesn’t feel set up or foreshadowed, it just feels like they added it on because they didn’t want to do anything more with it? And that feels incredibly crappy as a decision to so many people who related to Buck and Tommy and them coming out later in life and all those other things. I’m rambling and on my phone and feeling a lot of things that I can’t fully express right now, but the long and short of it: If this was always intended to be the final time we see Tommy, this breakup is even crueler than intended.

[whokilledsamara]

I loved ur alphabet nsfw with scarletella!!! BUTTT SPECIFICALLY the umbrella one!!! Is it possible to ummm maybe you'd write that whole situation down?? ANDDD I feel like he'd only do it if he's mad n being a lil petty!

MISUSE

a Mr. Scarletella x afab!reader fic. {an: ooo... i like this one.. i have a similar request and i will do both of them. love me some misuse of an object}

warnings! : misuse of an umbrella {handle is inserted, but you get poked with the tip}, bleeding, hatefucking, sadism, afab reader {i can write amab in another request if needed}, bondage, non/dub-con, "forced" blowjob

{an : i was super excited to write this one, as soon as i got the notification for this request i had to write it. thank you all for the support! this one could be considered non-con, but its really just hate fucking, reader doesnt say no. sorry this one isnt long, its just a quick thing im writing before i go to sleep}

hiding didn't work. you could hear the static in your head, matter of fact you could see it too. the cold, and slightly damp flooring made your senses all the more tingling, head a bit woozy from all the running. it was innocent really, the man who always happened to be crawling brought you a gift, and in return you gave him a small peck on the cheek. you hadn't thought anything of it, but you saw him. he saw you too.

bold move. he saw it as defiance. doesn't matter if it was innocent or not, he noticed. he notices everything even when you don't know he is there. the moment you saw red flash in the corner of your eye, you knew you fucked up.

why did you touch that stupid umbrella..

hours passed and nothing happened. you assumed everything was fine, and that perhaps Mr. Scarletella had just gotten his feelings hurt, not angry as you had assumed. but your hopes were cut short when you heard him, his voice filled with static and coldness as usual.

"Knees."

the way he said it in his language unwillingly did something to you, though you would never admit it. sighing to yourself, you obey his command and slowly sink to your knees. your gaze is locked on the floor as his eyes glare at you. though you aren't looking at him, you can feel it.

his presence alone makes the room feel thick and uncomfortable, but having his cock shoved down your throat definitely didn't make it any better. it was your fault really. you knew better than to attempt to get past him. his strong hand on your hair made sure you were kept up as high as you could go without actually leaving your knees, his thick length clouding your senses as you desperately tried to choke it down. tears welled in your eyes and all you could see was that sadistic grin that he almost always had on his face, though it was wider this time.

once he had his fill, and so did you, he yanked your head off of him, watching sadistically as you gasp for air. the dried tears on your face only made his heart rate speed up, that shit eating grin never leaving his face.

"You, remove, clothing." he says. not even as a question, but a statement. sputtering and coughing up his leftovers, you grudgingly slip off your bottoms, eyes closed and face flushed with embarrassment. his head tilts and he hums in response, crouching down in front of you.

your body is tense, and your eyes are squeezed tight with anticipation. his long, slender hand makes you shiver at the coldness as he parts your leg, putting you on display for him. a few seconds go by, and just as you are about to open your eyes, you feel a cold poke to your clit. its cold, and strange, making your eyes snap open to stare at the foreign object.

his umbrella.

you start stuttering and looking up at him with a worried expression, the tip of it pressed firmly against your clit. he experimentally moves it back and fourth, making your hips unwillingly jerk from the sensations. your face heats up and you watch carefully as he flips the object around, suddenly pressing the edge of the handle against your opening. "w-what the fuck.. what? that wont fit.. what are you do-" you begin to argue, but are quickly cut off as he pushes it in, using the curled part to his advantage and pushing it as deep as he can. you let out a shriek, thighs trembling and hands firmly planted on the damp ground beside you. he makes a few curious thrusts with it, seemingly getting off on the view, or maybe even feeling it himself.

"a-ah.. hurts.. mngh.." you manage to choke out, your voice a low whine as he twists the handle inside of you. he seems to notice a bit of blood around your opening, only exciting him further as he thrusts it faster. your legs lift slightly and you cry out, his hand shooting to cover your mouth as to not alert the other members. eyes clenched shut, he curves the handle just the perfect amount, that for some reason makes your vision go black for a second as you unwillingly orgasm around the foreign object.

pathetic noises leave your lips, his hand tightening around your lower face as his grin only grows wider. "Good." he mutters, slowly pulling the umbrella out of you. his hand leaves your face and before you can think properly he is pushing the handle into your mouth, effectively making you taste the mix of cum and blood off of it. "Clean." and so you do. you quickly suck off whatever you can, your face tired and worn. he pulls it out of your mouth and pats your head, before static surrounds him.

and hes gone.

{ made by @whokilledsamara }

[dakota1435]

Moonlight – Vampire!Sylus X Reader ✩₊˚.☪︎ ⁺₊✧

word count: 3k

tags: new l&ds character!, mention of alcohol, mention of violence

previous chapters found here!: x

Chapter 7

You awake softly, your eyelids heavy with exhaustion. You prop yourself up a bit, trying to come back to reality. The room turns with your vision, a dizzy spell stronger than you’ve ever felt. Quickly, you close your eyes. 

“Ugh…” You groaned quietly. 

 “How are you feeling?” Sylus voice was close to your ear, making you realize he was still next to you in bed. 

“Mhm… dizzy,” you said, noticing how dry your throat felt. Were you really this exhausted? The blood loss must’ve been too much these past two days. You feel Sylus shift around before he presses a cold glass of water against your arm. You smile at the gesture and take the glass before drinking the whole thing. 

“I…shouldn’t have taken from you so soon again,” Sylus said. It seemed like he was choosing his words carefully, slowly. “It’s hard to resist you, sweetie. You tempted me with your neck last night.” He brushed his cool fingers against your neck, tenderly. Your mind recalls every detail from last night, not to mention the ache your hips held. 

“It’s okay…” you spoke quietly. “I wanted you to,” you admitted. That much was obvious. Just recalling the overwhelming feeling of it all could turn you on again, if you weren’t so dizzy and exhausted. 

Over the next week ahead, Sylus is home more often. He doesn’t feed again, or touch you anything more than simple gestures. Although he didn’t show it, you were worried he thought he went too far during your last intimate moments together. But, maybe, he truly didn’t need to feed everyday. Or every other day. It was still difficult trying to figure him out. 

The same routine continued. You never realized how drastic it was no longer having a cellphone on you. But it gives you plenty of time to reflect and observe every detail around you. You started reading, given access to Sylus’ personal library. You asked the twins to get you a plain notebook, along with some writing pens. Since you were going to be here for the time being, it was better for your sanity to start documenting your new life. The twins might tell Sylus what you request, but that doesn’t mean he’ll find your personal journal tucked in a small, hidden space. At least, you hope so. 

…His stare is like ice, yet whenever he speaks it’s different. His words are smooth, honeyed, seductive. His touch sears into me, hot enough to make me melt. It’s hard to understand his true motives. Is this all so I can feel good? So I can forget the pain he inflicts upon his bite? Could there possibly be anything more than that? Between a human and a vampire…

You groan out loud as you hold your face in your hands. Even with writing your thoughts down, it still didn’t make any sense. What were you possibly hoping for, anyways? You close the notebook for now, tucking it back into its secret spot. A knock at your door snaps you out of your overwhelming thoughts.

“Miss? Boss wants to see you in the dining room,” said one of the twins. Luke, you assumed. He goes away without awaiting your response. You’ve learned it wasn’t unusual for Sylus to send someone to fetch you, rather than him coming himself. You sigh, combing your hands through your hair before leaving. The hallways were all familiar to you now, it didn’t feel like a maze anymore. You enter the dining room, noticing in the rare window the sun just went down. It was twilight now. Sylus stood, staring out that window. He doesn’t turn around at your arrival. 

“Come, sit.” He gestures to a large, leather chair next to him. Wordlessly, you go up to the chair and sit. You stare at Sylus, waiting for his next words. He seemed…tense. But it was hard to tell. He finally looks at you and speaks again. “The first time I brought you to an event, it ended up…unpleasant. It would be so easy if I could lock you up forever,” he chuckles darkly. You aren’t sure if he’s truly joking. “...But I need you to accompany me this time.” He looks at you, trying to gauge your response.

“Another…auction?” You asked. You were surprised he even thought about letting you outside after that incident. 

“No. This is much more important. I cannot risk leaving you here, unattended.” His tone was a bit stern. It left you puzzled.

“What? I’m…I’m not going to run, Sylus,” you stated, trying to make your point. He scoffed instead.

“I’m flattered,” he said flatly, “but that’s not what I meant. In a few days, there will be a gathering. A gathering of my kind.” He furrowed his brows a bit.

“Do you not want to go?” You asked cautiously. If he didn’t want you to pry, then that was fine, but clearly something was off. 

He sighs. “It’s significant that I arrive. I’m bringing you because I will not risk some idiot getting to you before I come back. Luke and Kieran will be away for a bit.” You muttered a small ‘oh’, understanding the picture now. To think he’s bringing his human into a den of vampires…is that truly the best idea? But then again, the thought of being alone and defenseless was bad enough. 

“Is it… truly okay I’m there with you?” You asked, feeling uncertain about your presence. Sylus pats your head once. 

“You think I would let anything happen to you? They won’t think twice about looking at you when they know you’re mine. Unfortunately for them, I don’t like sharing.” He walks over to a small desk, sorting through some papers. 

“Would I need to do anything specific?” You asked, trying to imagine what kind of event this could be. You wondered if other humans would be there, whether as a social thing or something worse. 

Sylus walks back over to you, his eyes locking onto yours. “Behave. But I’m sure that’s not a problem.” He smirked, his voice lighter. “It’s simply a formal event. I don’t expect too much. I’ll send some dresses over to you, in the meantime I have more work to catch up on.” With that, Sylus disappears to bury his head in more work. You really didn’t know how he managed it all. 

With ease, a few days pass by quickly. You didn’t hear from Sylus often, especially nothing more on the event. On the day of the event, you find a handful of boxes in your room just as he promised. You feel a tinge of excitement, eager to unbox your new dresses. You pull out a long, sleek satin dress. Its color was like a deep garnet with a lace pattern over the bust and lower waist. It was beautiful and you just had to try it on. You hurry to the bathroom and carefully slip it over yourself. This dress truly hugged your curves, but everything about it was perfect. A part of you worried it was showing off too much skin, but if Sylus didn’t think it was a problem then surely it was okay. 

“Do you like it?” Sylus’ deep voice was close to your ear. You continue to stare at the mirror, now looking at the both of you. Sylus’ eyes roamed over your body.

“Yes it’s…quite exquisite. Thank you,” you said kindly. You give him a soft smile. 

“It’s missing something though,” Sylus said, much to your surprise. Before you could ask, he places something cold around your neck. It was a victorian-style silver choker with a jewel that matched the color of your dress. Sylus clasps it together, before staring at your reflection. “There,” he said, sounding satisfied, “Now they’ll know who you belong to, kitten.” You flush a bit, but find yourself reassured. Sylus takes a step back, his eyes lingering on your back. “You seem tense, why?” Sylus’ question was straightforward. There was nothing you could hide from him. But out of the handful of things you could tell him, you picked one. 

“I’m nervous because I’m unsure what to expect,” you said truthfully. You could only think of so many outcomes of a vampire gathering. Sylus didn’t seem phased by your statement, though.

“Don’t worry, I plan to have you by my side the entire time.” Seems like that’s all you should know. You don’t inquire further, just accept whatever comes your way. You begin to prepare yourself, both mentally and physically. Adorned jewelry decorated on your body, along with the choker Sylus gave you. More like a collar in this situation, you realized. As you finish the final touches of your hair and makeup, you were ready to face it all. 

You both enter the same car you took on your last outing, sitting in the same seats. Once again, it felt absolutely refreshing to be outside again. The back courtyard could only do so much. Something about the air called to you, made you crave more. You unconsciously touch the jewel on your choker, it bringing you some form of comfort. After a long drive, the two of you finally arrive at your destination. It was a large mansion, much like Sylus’. Guests were walking in, some with partners and some without. They were all dressed fancy, exotic almost. 

“Come,” Sylus beckons. He extends his hand out to you, and you take it. He wasn’t kidding when he said he would have you by his side. You were practically glued to him. His arm around your waist was possessive, but protective. You tried to reassure yourself that you were safe in Sylus’ bubble. It was time to truly find out now. 

Upon entering the grand hallway you noticed others taking a step back from Sylus. Eyes trailing as you walk past. You weren’t stupid to not notice such a thing. Some whispered, others looked away entirely. You knew Sylus had immense power, but how much power could he possibly have? Still, you held your chin high. Your gaze never wavered. As you two enter a massive room, a couple people come to greet Sylus. 

“Sylus, sir, we’re grateful for your presence tonight. Who might—” The man addressing Sylus stops mid sentence upon looking at you. His expression is unreadable, and you weren’t sure if you were grateful for that. He suddenly snaps out of his concentration on you and bows. “My deepest apologies. Please, both of you, enjoy tonight to its fullest.” You were surprised to hear him apologize sincerely, not giving you another glance. You feel Sylus fingers touch your side a little deeper, unsure how to define it. 

“It’s quite alright. Thank you,” Sylus said, his words short. You both begin walking away from the man. You try and look up at Sylus, but he continues to stare straight ahead. You already had so many questions. A servant holding a tray of glasses pauses in front of you two, offering. Sylus grabs two glasses, each containing a deep, red liquid. You give him a puzzled look and he smirks in response. 

“What? It’s just wine,” he said, amused by your confusion. “We’re not only allowed to consume blood. We need it to survive though. If it makes you feel better, there are a handful of humans here too.” He takes a sip and licks his lips. The gesture makes you blush a bit. 

“Humans…like me?” You asked, hesitant to say the word ‘pet’. 

“Hmm…a few. But we do business with regular humans as well. You’d be surprised how involved we are in the world today,” he said. You stare back into your glass, trying to convince your brain you weren’t drinking blood. The scene laid out in front of you was beautiful, grand even. Guests were dressed up like royals, their beauty unique yet striking. Light music echoed around you, but you weren’t sure where it was coming from. Everyone chatted and laughed during the conversation, having the time of their lives. It put you at ease a little, to see this was quite a normal, fancy gathering. No blood baths, no rituals. You weren’t looked at like fresh meat, although you couldn’t help notice the awe in some people’s eyes as they tried to glance at you. 

“Sylus…how powerful are you?” You asked, sipping on the wine. It was good, you craved more. Sylus cocks an eyebrow, a bit surprised at your question. 

“And what brought this on?” He asked. 

“Well…I knew you were powerful. But since we’ve been in this place it’s like everyone regards you as a higher being…” You hope that came out right, not wanting to offend him. There was just so much you didn’t know about him. You hear him scoff, for better or for worse.

“I have fought my way to the top. It wasn’t easy…I have always been unlucky,” he admitted. You weren’t exactly expecting him to open up so easily. “I’ll take what’s mine. I made sure that everyone knows my name, that’s all.” A beat of silence made it clear he was done talking. So much for opening up, you thought. You wondered what he used to be like before this power but knew it was not a question to ask. Not now, anyways. “You will find out in due time,” Sylus added, a bit quieter. Before you could question what he meant, a different man approaches Sylus. He stares at you, surprise in his eyes .

“You found her?” The man said, almost to himself. But you still heard him, feeling confused at his question. Sylus clears his throat and the man diverts his attention. “Ah! Sorry, sir. I came to inform you that we found him. We are holding him in a room for now, awaiting your orders.” The man bows deeply, not looking Sylus in the eyes as he speaks. You look at Sylus, curious about the situation. 

Sylus sighs. “I didn’t think he would be found so soon. This changes things a bit.” He looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed. He looked…mad. 

“Who?” You blurted. Maybe you didn’t want to know. It sounded like dirty business he was dealing with. 

“We’ve been looking for…someone,” he said vaguely. “I didn’t expect him to be caught here. I have to take care of it now.” He clenches his jaw, clearly irritated. It suddenly clicked in your mind that he meant he might leave you. Alone. The man who approached Sylus was still waiting to guide him away. “You’re safe here, as long as you wear that choker. Stay here. Do not leave,” he commanded, his voice stern. “I will only be a minute. Be good.” He pats you on the head once, like a child. He begins following the man before you have a chance to respond. 

You watch Sylus as he turns down a hallway, now out of sight. You swallow, trying to ease your nerves. You drink the rest of your wine, trying not to meet eyes with anyone else in here. He said he would only be a minute…But from what you’ve learned when someone wrongs Sylus, he likes to take his time. Or so he claims. You were a little thankful he didn’t bring you for something like that, despite being completely alone. You fidget with the choker, your mind recalling the man’s words. Found her…had Sylus always looked for you? This newfound thought bounced off your head, anxiety starting to creep in. 

“Ugh…” You groan to yourself, staring at the empty glass. 

“Would you like more wine, miss?” A male voice asked behind you. You turn around, trying to make yourself seem small to this stranger. As you meet his face, your stomach sinks to the ground.

“....Caleb?” You whispered, almost afraid to say his name out loud. His eyes are wide, frantic, staring all over you. 

“Act natural,” he whispered, barely audible. Your heart was in your throat, you couldn’t believe it. Caleb, your childhood best friend. He was practically the only family you had…before you were taken. It’s been months now, since you last saw him. Why was he here? Why now? How did he know you were here? Questions flooded your mind, your throat tightening. You had no idea how to begin speaking. 

“Why?” You whispered back, trying to calm yourself. You weren’t sure who was looking. God, if Sylus knew, he would probably be angered. This wasn’t good, every second passing by was a second of Sylus returning. You felt nauseous. 

“Are you hurt? Did he do anything to you? That monster—I swear to God. I’m here to save you, I’m getting you out of here.” The weight of his words barely sank into you. You still didn’t understand how he knew you were here. At a vampire gathering, too!

“Caleb, you can’t– you can’t be here. Caleb this isn’t safe,” you tried telling him, but he wouldn’t listen. “How did you know I was here? Tell me.” His gaze softened as he looked at you. His eyes glance at the necklace and his expression becomes horrified. 

“I know who he is. I’m not letting him take you again. I don’t care if I die trying.” He grabs your wrist with force. It made you wince. You had to stop this, before Sylus came back.

Time was running out. 

“Caleb you need to leave!” You said urgently. Sweat formed on your brow. “I’m fine. He doesn’t hurt me! Please, leave, I’m okay!” You said, a little louder this time. He tugs you with him, causing you to stumble. A few people look over at you, whispering to each other. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes as the panic becomes overwhelming. He tugs harder, trying to break you out of your stance. “Caleb please!” You beg through gritted teeth. Before he can say anything back, you feel a tall presence behind you. Your stomach churns, knowing Sylus has returned and is looking at Caleb. You don’t turn around as you watch Caleb drop your wrist, his face hardening with hatred.  “Well…you heard her,” he says, his voice deep and slow. He places both of his hands on each of your shoulders. “She said leave.”

[hauntedjellyfishwitch-blog]

Ok I have a request that’s been brewing in my brain, what if Daryl and reader were out on a run and reader finds a mixtape in the car and plays it, and one of the songs is Creep by Radiohead and she starts singing along and he’s never heard her sing before and he’s like totally enamored by it. But when he starts to listen to the lyrics it maybe hits too close to home and he starts to get insecure and think he’s not good enough for her and he’s kinda standoffish for a bit and when he finally tells her what’s wrong she shows him how much he means to her and how special he is to her AHHHH

Ps ur writing is amazing I love it sm 🫶🫶

Creep

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader (No use of Y/N)

TW: Anxious!Daryl. Alexandria Era. Allusions to sex.

A/N: I cannot tell you how much I LOVE this request, thank you Anon! I'm sorry its taken me a while I have been ill as hell, but I'm hoping to get a few bits uploaded today when my heating kicks in and my fingers start moving again!

-

The dashboard is dusty. The kind of dust that seeps up your nose and makes you smell damp. The car is cramped and the road is bumpy as all hell, but he’s content, almost peaceful as she smiles over at him. He quirks a corner of his mouth upwards in response, knowing he’ll get lost in her smile if he lets himself, and the last thing he wants to do is crash the car when its so full of wares.

It’s not new, not really, their….relationship. It’s the culmination of the electricity that’s been thrumming underneath the surface for a while. So it’s not new, not really, but it is tentative. Everything with Daryl is tentative except killing walkers and hunting; there’s a sick sense of irony that it took the world ending for him to be confident in something. He’s not confident when it comes to her, even now. Even now she’s sitting there holding his hand as he drives back to Alexandria. He could have initiated the hand holding, probably, maybe, she’d like that, but the fear that he’s going to be rejected for trying is always overwhelming.

This run was simple, thank god, neither of them are bruised and battered though Daryl did smack the side of his head rather painfully against a door trying to block a walker. They’re taking three boxes of canned goods, some jumpers for the colder weather and a large handful or seven of treats back to Alexandria. He feels good. Better than he has in a long time; he can almost forget that his shoulder hurts every morning and his brother is dead and the dead are, you know, eating people.

He glances at her out of the corner of his eye, fighting the quirk of his lip that tries to sneak up on him again and failing miserably. She clocks it anyway, picking his hand up to her lips to press a kiss to it before dropping it out of reach in a way that’s so very her. She’s careful with him, never overstepping the boundaries she guesses he has because he hasn’t actually told her, but she offers affection like most people offer hellos. She never pulls away without reassurance.

“Can I see what’s on this?” her voice breaks him out of his thoughts, holding up a crappy mix-tape she’d found atop one of the boxes. She doesn’t even know if it will work, but she’s trying to be appreciative of the small mercies that come with this impossible life and by a stroke of luck they’re driving a car old enough to still have a damn tape slot. She doesn’t expect words to accompany his nod.

And suddenly she’s blaring out the words to a song he vaguely remembers from before, dancing in her seat whilst she lowers her voice for comic effect.

She can sing, he knows she can so she’s doing this for his benefit, to make him laugh. He’s heard her voice in the shower, echoing through their new home, melodic and soft and beautiful. His whole body is warm, bursting at the seams with affection, with the knowledge that she thinks of him even in the tiny moments; that even when she’s doing something she’ll enjoy she’s still trying to entertain him.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here

Maybe it’s the words that set his brain off. Maybe its that the dust reminds him of a home that had never been a home. He thinks back to all the times he’s watched her from a distance, the times he was too afraid to talk to her but wanted to keep her safe, following her from behind like a fucking stalker. He flinches as the memories of the kids in the playground flood him, the ones who’d called him weird and creepy, the voice of his father saying nobody would ever love him, the southern twang of his brother saying the same, ‘nobody is ever gonna love ya except me, baby brother’. But she does, doesn’t she? Or at least something close, she’d made that clear.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here

Hadn’t she made that clear? Hadn’t she kissed him of her own volition? Had he stayed too close until she had no other choice? Had he made his feelings too obvious? Had he been weird and creepy? Had he forced his affection on her until she’d just given in? Maybe people in his previous life had been right about him.

He pulls through the gates on autopilot, doesn’t even remember who was on guard duty but someone had to have let them in. He unloads the car, mind simultaneously numb and in overdrive, hands the boxes to…someone and slams the door shut hard enough he makes himself flinch.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Her soft voice barely registers through the muddled thoughts, she sounds far away and out of reach.

“Nothin’”

He shakes off the warm fingers against his arm, turns to trudge back to their shared house, ignoring the way her footsteps follow in time with his, trying to ignore that he knows she’s got shorter legs than he does and he knows she’s trying to catch up.

“You’re a terrible liar”

“I ain’t”

“Daryl-“

“I can’t do this” he pauses, doesn’t dare to look her in the eye as he scuffs his toe against the asphalt. He hasn’t thought far enough ahead to realise she has to follow him home as she lives there, he just needs to flee “Us” he clarifies as if she hadn’t worked it out already.

“You were fine five minutes ago, I don’t-”

“I ain’t good at this shit. I dun’ want it” he lies through his teeth.  He’s never wanted anything more in his life.

Her footsteps don’t resume as his do, and he takes her not following as acceptance, as proof his brain is right, as confirmation she never wanted him in the first place. Kicking off his boots as he seeks sanctuary inside their home he leaves the front door open for her. He’s never been inconsiderate on purpose.

Body freezing momentarily when he finally hears the front door click shut, he breaths a small sigh of relief that she’s home before guilt gnaws at him. Chewing his fingernails, he half expects her to come to his room, but he hears her upstairs closing the door to hers before the boiler kicks in to tell him she’s taking a shower. His head throbs at him, but the painkillers are in the bathroom upstairs and he avoids taking them unless he really has to.

It’s a testament to how fucking awkward he is that he hides in his basement bedroom until the sun has set, as if he hasn’t wanted a cigarette for the past two hours. Carol won’t let him smoke in the house, a rule implemented months ago, before she’d left for her own smaller house. He’s yet to break it out of respect and if he’s honest, fear. If anyone could sense something wrong from buildings away it would be Carol, and he doesn’t trust his partner housemate not to tell Carol just for a laugh. Daryl both loves and hates how close the two women are, by which he means that it’s lovely until he is the target of their anger or humour and then it is significantly less so.

“Thought you might want some company” her voice startles him out of his thoughts as she sits gracefully next to him on the front step of the porch.

“Don’t need ya pity”

“Good, ‘cause I’m not pitying you” She tries to keep the anger out of her tone. She doesn’t know what’s going on but if she’s confident about one thing its that Daryl wants her and she’s not about to let him sabotage his own happiness by being hard on himself “How’s the head?”

“Sore”

She shakes the small bottle of aspirin at him, pulled from the pocket of her pyjama pants.

“Take a painkiller”

“Better spent on someone else”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Mo’ important people ‘ere than me, I ain’t ever been worth nothin’”

“Daryl-“

“Nah, I ain’t, I weren’t worth shit before, didn’t even have a fuckin’ job, ain’t worth shit now”

“Don’t do that, don’t act like you’re not important, just fucking don’t”

There’s such fierce disappointment under the ire in her tone that it stops him for a beat. He raises his gaze from the smooth wooden steps to look at her face, takes her in properly since he’d walked off earlier in the day. He catches the worry in her eyes, the wobble in her bottom lip she’s trying to bite away, chewing nervously.

“Why? I dun’ deserve ya, dun’ deserve any of this” voice cracking, splintering at the edges around the emotions he’s so used to burying. He can’t bury them when she’s looking at him like this.

“I’d die for you and you don’t even think you matter” she laughs sadly, but its wet, squishy, it doesn’t sit right on her face through the water that’s leaving her eyes. He wonders if she’s aware of the magnitude of what she just said, but she isn’t done, doesn’t show a sign that he can interrupt to point it out “What did I do wrong? How have I failed to show you that? I don’t understand”

Daryl has spent his whole life thinking he is in the way, that he’s a burden no matter how much he tries to prove his worth. He’s never been anyone’s first choice, but here she is crying at the thought of losing him, taking his ridiculous issues as a way she’s failed and he can’t have it, he just can’t. He reaches over, linking his fingers with hers, looking down to watch the way her thumb rubs over his fingers.

“Did I push this on ya?”

“Daryl no”

“What if I didn’t give ya a choice?”

“Daryl, look at me” she waits patiently until he turns his head to her “I chose this, I chose you” she keeps her hand in his as she eases up off the porch steps, tugging his hand until he complies, stubbing out his cigarette on the way up “Come inside”

She looks the door behind them, dims the lights before letting her hand drop and standing facing him in the middle of the room. He stands stock still, lost and confused as she strips her clothes off, purposeful but not rushed. He feels the heat that floods his cheeks.

Finally, when she’s completely naked she locks her eyes on his

“This scar, the one on my side? When I was seven I fell out of a tree, had a stick go right through, it was gross. This one on my shoulder? Argued back once with the wrong man, put me through a door. This one? See it? Put my arm through a window three sheets to the wind on bad tequila, think I wanted to end it all”

He swallows hard, never having had the stories behind the scars he’s seen. They’ve been intimate, a handful of times since this thing started, but she’s hidden almost as much as he has so this bravery is new. Astonishing.

“Do you see me, Daryl?”

“Yea-“ the crackle in his own voice cuts him off.

“Look at me and tell me I don’t look like I have a choice right now. Tell me you made me do this”

“I can’t”

He doesn’t realise he’s stopped closer until her fingers are toying with the collar of his button down.

“Please take it off”

He wants to protest, shifting on his feet in discomfort but the look on her face is so fucking soft, so open and vulnerable as she stands bare in front of him and he tries to keep his eyes on her face. He’d never deny her anything, so he undoes the buttons with shaking fingers. Hers follow, easing the shirt off his shoulders.

He shudders as she traces her fingers over the scars that litter his torso, reaching forward to place his hands around her waist, grounding and solid. Her skin is warm under his touch.

“I wish you could see yourself how I do”

“What d’ya see?” He whispers, kneading the flesh under his palms absentmindedly. He’ll deny himself the pleasure of his base urges as he’s done throughout the years, but even he’s not strong enough not to trail his hands up and down her skin, knuckles grazing the underside of her breasts with each upward stroke.

“Strong, kind, decent. You’re beautiful, Daryl Dixon”

He sucks in a sharp breath as she continues.

“Blue eyes, the way they look at me" she didn't need to look up to his gaze to know it was there, but she does anyway, sees the admiration, the pleading that's always behind his eyes "Look at your hands on me” she lays her hands over his, marvels at how much space they take up on her ribcage “Big, warm hands, safest hands I’ve ever known”

He clenches his eyes shut, shaking his head in disagreement, opening them again when he feels her palm against the stubble on his cheek.

“They’re safe, Daryl, I don’t know what’s happening in here right now” she taps his forehead with a finger “But I see you. Let me love you”

“Ya love me?”

“Yes” makes sure she looks at him when she says it, simply and firmly, no room for argument “Eyes wide open, knowing who you are, knowing what you’ve done, seeing you. Yes. I love you. Let me show you”

[ranticore]

Now that you mentioned it in the tags; I really enjoyed how you did the queerness of characters in-text and I saw you mentioned more than once before how they consider/call themselves gay or anything and I was wondering if you'd be willing to elaborate on that (in Ironwall, MVF etc), but more from a writing standpoint than a worldbuilding one. Hope Im making sense lol

i looked up the invention of the word 'homosexuality' and found that it was invented 6 years after stbh is set

ghksjdg i mean there's more to it than that but it meant that my language was constrained, which also means that the characters' language is constrained as well. i have to think about ways i want this to come across to the reader. at the time i was thinking about how the basic concept of "btw this character is not straight/cis" is communicated in some of the stories i'd read, and one that stood out to me was a comic i read in a fully fantasy setting where the writer brought the narrative to a juddering halt to explain exactly how gender & sexuality are handled by the people here. as in the characters essentially turn to the camera and give the main character a lecture. i really didn't like it, the author's hand was too visible behind the panels.

but i took it as a learning exercise as well on what i didn't want to do. i didn't like the neon signs pointing at any instance of non-heteronormativity and i also don't like stories that market themselves based on the characters' gender identities, particularly stories which do not involve a coming-of-age/character learns to discover themselves narrative. it's a book about two trans men but it's not a book about being trans. that's none of the reader's business, that's hidden from you (particularly in islin's case, intentionally). i never wanted to foster a sense of voyeurism towards trans people particularly knowing that most readers, statistically, will not be trans. crucially the characters are stealth to literally everybody but like 3 people. their transition is done.

i never wanted a coming out moment, or an "i'm here i'm queer" moment either - not even because Society in the setting just because i don't like those things. to completely normalise it in the narrative between these characters is the goal - almost to the point of never even pointing it out at all except when it has to be. the vibe i wanted was like... hanging out in not necessarily a gay space, but with gay people, talking about random other stuff. i didn't even like the One coming out scene i had to put in (senca being like "i only fuck women" to bowman so that he would stop hitting on her)

so when writing i had a pretty good idea of what i didn't want. for the setting i had some strict rules to follow as well. characters would not identify as gay or bisexual or even some fantasy equivalent because those were not identities, they were acts. and heterosexuality wasn't an identity either, it wasn't even "the natural way of things", it was the means by which wealth could transfer between generations. if you do not marry, then you are not conforming to your gender. the four unmarriagable men in mvf are all denied entry to normative manhood for many de-gendering factors (disability, unmanly hobbies, vow of chastity, etc) but the culmination of those factors is that they can't marry, which is the whole POINT of being a man. three of them are entirely denied generational wealth - forcing them into poverty (it's not a coincidence that gay people are overrepresented in the criminal organisation)

from a writing standpoint this leaves them in a grey zone. when writing i tried out different language to see if it read nice to me (19th century equivalents to 'boyfriend' etc) and they all rang quite false, because outside of the whole 'can we put a label on something that doesn't officially exist in society' thing, the characters themselves are not the types of people to think that way. Bowman was dating Léa but he was never dating Félix. you can't date another man. the only people who date men are women, and Bowman is not a woman. therefore he is not dating Félix. to give just one example. ultimately for the language used i found that just leaving it as-is worked the best for me.

so after working all that out i wrote tha thing and then wanted to kind of explore - at what point does it become romantic? is there an actual border between romantic and platonic when you've kind of already fallen between the cracks in society into the grey zone where nothing is defined because it doesn't affirm the power of the ruling class. and in these particular friendships, where they've already been all things to one another, they've already done everything together, good or bad, does adding 'romantic love' to that list of things wildly recontextualise it retroactively or does anything change at all? just like the ending reveal of stbh says: who actually is the guy we've been thinking of as 'félix ortega' ? does it recontextualise everything we've just read? no, right? (or does it?)

the usual 'will-they-won't-they' romance plot isn't a factor in the book, we already know they will, they have, they won't, and they refuse to, all at once.

(jean-baptiste thinks of himself as an invert because he is Learned and has read some fascinating journal articles about cutting-edge sexology, and his relation to his sexuality is very very different. it's not something he shares with his closest friends in spaces without scrutiny; his entire life is scrutinised and his social system is predicated on marriage. like i think i said in the book, probably, i don't remember: he and renard are two guys clinging to the same life raft. they hate each other! but if you push the other guy off the life raft, then you're just one guy alone at sea, forever.)

[inkspiredwriting]

The Empty Chair

Five Hargreeves x reader

A/N: I've decided to only post on Mondays. I just think that makes a lot more sense at the moment. I hope you aren't disappointed because of this.

Warnings: none

The Hargreeves dining room was bathed in the warm glow of candlelight, a soft and inviting ambiance created by flickering flames that danced across the walls. Plates and dishes were carefully arranged on the long wooden table, the aroma of a lovingly prepared meal wafting through the air. It was a rare occasion when the siblings managed to gather together, a break from the chaos and unpredictability of their lives. Yet, despite the warmth and togetherness, a somber note lingered in the air, manifesting in the empty chair that stood starkly at the table.

Y/n Hargreeves sat quietly, her gaze constantly drifting to that vacant chair, its absence a glaring reminder of who was missing—Five. The table was bustling with chatter and laughter as his siblings tried to maintain a semblance of normalcy, but Y/n’s heart ached for the man who should have been sitting beside her, his sharp wit and wry humor adding his unique flavor to the evening.

Luther was at the head of the table, carving the roast with his usual precision. He caught Y/n’s eye and offered a sympathetic smile, but it did little to alleviate the heaviness in her chest. Diego and Klaus were bickering playfully, their voices overlapping in a spirited debate about who had done the most daring thing that week. Allison and Viktor were discussing a new movie, their faces animated with excitement. Ben was teasing Diego, he chimed in with a sarcastic comment.

Yet, despite the lively conversation and the efforts to keep the mood light, there was a palpable tension, an unspoken acknowledgment of the empty space that haunted the room.

Diego leaned back in his chair, waving a fork at Klaus. “You can’t seriously believe that fighting a bear with a switchblade is more dangerous than defusing a bomb!”

Klaus snorted, taking a sip of his wine. “Oh, please. You just want to be the hero in every story, don’t you? Besides, the bear was huge. And I didn’t even have a switchblade. It was more like a really angry squirrel.”

“More like a hallucination,” Ben quipped, rolling his eyes. “You probably imagined the whole thing.”

Allison chuckled, shaking her head. “Let’s just agree that both of you are equally reckless and move on. How about that new movie we watched, Viktor? What did you think of it?”

Viktor nodded, his eyes lighting up. “I loved it. The storyline was so gripping, and the cinematography was stunning.”

As the conversation flowed around her, Y/n forced a smile, trying to engage, but her mind kept wandering back to Five. She could almost see him there, his usual scowl softening into a rare, genuine smile as he made some sarcastic remark about Diego’s bravado or Klaus’s outrageous stories.

Y/n’s gaze lingered on the empty chair, her fingers tracing the rim of her wine glass. She couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness that gnawed at her, a void that the evening’s laughter and chatter couldn’t fill. Five was out there, somewhere, caught up in his work with the CIA. She knew it was important, that he was doing what he had to do, but that knowledge did little to ease the loneliness she felt in his absence.

Luther, noticing her distraction, cleared his throat. “So, Y/n, how’s work been lately? Anything interesting?”

Y/n blinked, snapping out of her reverie. “Oh, it’s been busy,” she replied, her voice soft. “Nothing too exciting, just the usual stuff.”

Allison leaned forward, her eyes filled with concern. “You know, Five will be back soon. He always finds his way home.”

Y/n nodded, managing a small smile. “I know. It’s just… I miss him. We all do.”

Klaus reached across the table, placing a hand on hers. “Hey, we get it. That little bastard is a pain, but he’s our pain. And he’ll come back with some ridiculous story about how he saved the world single-handedly.”

The table erupted in laughter, and for a moment, the heaviness lifted. Y/n chuckled, shaking her head. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

As the evening wore on, the laughter and stories flowed more freely, the family finding comfort in each other’s company. They shared memories, recounted old adventures, and teased each other mercilessly, the bonds between them growing stronger with each passing moment.

Y/n found herself relaxing, the warmth of the evening seeping into her bones. She laughed at Klaus’s antics, rolled her eyes at Diego’s bragging, and joined in the playful banter with Allison and Viktor. For a little while, the emptiness seemed to fade, replaced by the love and camaraderie that filled the room.

But as the candles burned low and the conversation began to wind down, her gaze inevitably returned to the empty chair. The evening’s laughter had been a balm, but it couldn’t completely erase the ache of Five’s absence.

As the others began to clear the table and gather dishes, Y/n stood and walked over to the empty chair. She ran her fingers over the backrest, her heart heavy with longing. She could almost feel his presence, a ghostly echo of the man she loved.

Luther approached, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “He’ll come back,” he said softly. “Five’s always found a way to return to us.”

Y/n nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I know. It’s just hard sometimes, not knowing where he is or when he’ll be back.”

Luther squeezed her shoulder, his expression filled with understanding. “We’re here for you, Y/n. We’re all in this together.”

Y/n smiled, wiping her eyes. “Thanks, Luther. That means a lot.”

As the family began to disperse, Y/n lingered a moment longer by the chair. She took a deep breath, steeling herself against the wave of sadness that threatened to overwhelm her. She knew that she had to be strong, not just for herself, but for Five as well. He needed her to be his anchor, to keep the light burning until he could find his way back to her.

She walked to the window, lighting a single candle and placing it on the sill. Its warm glow flickered against the glass, a beacon of hope in the darkness. She knew it was a small gesture, but it felt like a way to reach out to him, to let him know that she was waiting, that she would always be waiting.

As she watched the flame dance in the darkness, she whispered softly, “Come home soon, Five. We need you here.”

The night outside was cold and silent, the stars distant and indifferent. But the candle’s light burned bright and steady, a symbol of the love and hope that would guide him back to her.

[changbinsboobs]

Can you do skz as husbands next ??

Skz as Husbands series : Chan

Ohhhh boy...ya'll are not going to like this. Idk if i myself am shocked or not surprised...but literary ALL of the cards are BAD, and i kept on drawing and drawing more hoping at least one good will come out but...🥲 sadly all of them are pretty weird.

That being said i am reading current energy not current energy, and im not getting AT ALL vibes from chan for wanting to get settled down anytime soon. All of his focus is on his career and goals and ambitions etc and theres just no place left for a family.

So i guess it makes sense that all of the cards are really negative as it's just not his time now. I do feel potential in him tho (after some therapy and probably retirement).

Im just gonna go ahead and start with the 9oS which tells me that being a husband and the head of the family will put IMMENSE pressure on him with which he cannot deal with. I think he makes it much bigger in his mind and lets doubts, paranoia, stress etc get the best of him and im seeing him actually having pretty hesitant thoughts on marriage for that time being just for that same reason. I think he's a guy that sees this as a very serious job (can imagine him picking that up from his dad) and its nothing to be taken lightly and as i said it gets very twisted and exaggerated in his head and takes the best of him. If he were to get married right now, he would change very quickly from what his s/o has seen from him and take a huge turn for the worse and put forward his shadow side. Im seeing lots of toxic coping mechanisms too which very conveniently leads me to the next card.

The 3oC usually a nice card but not in this case, especially because of the heavy display of alcohol - im seeing him wanting to escape the crushing weight of his responsibilities and looking for that escape in the face of alcohol & shady friends that may be just too immature and bachelory-mindseted and have a bad influence on him. I can see him missing for nights on end, which also relates to the 5oP as well and him giving...no having to be forced to give the bare minimum, and him even struggling to do that, and twisting it all to look like the victim. But more on that card at the end. So as i was saying im seeing him being very absent a lot of the time, not only because of work but because he's out and about with his friends. Im not really getting cheating from the cards - but im getting heavy vibes of a similar setting where temptation is just around the corner and him just living as if he had no family back at home waiting for him. This - once again very conveniently ties to the next card😂

Which is the 5oW. Im seeing lots of fight, probably initially starting because of his prolonged missing and eventually moving on to different things. Im seeing fights escalating very quickly, starting very quickly, being very exhausting and very damaging. To the relationship, to both their mental health and to some random objects nearby👀

With The Fool im seeing him being way too immature for something like this at this current point and it shows pretty well on the card - he's just not in the right state of mind for this chapter of his life and if it were to happen it will bring out his unreadiness and immaturity forth even more - to show where he has to work on to be ready for that next stage.

And back to the 5oP again, aside from him having to be forced to give the bare minimum and him even failing at that - he very skillfuly turns it out to look as if he's the attacked one, as if he's the bullied one, as if his wife's the one who's starving him and making him out to be the bad guy and he just feels really bullied by the whole situation and behaves that way and expresses himself that way so i would say - a huge victim complex.

Overall i would say this reading was more of a "chans toxic defence and cooing mechanisms if he were put into the corner" reading, which is kinda sad cuz that doesn't really give much insight as to what he would be like as a husband cuz what we just saw wasn't really chan but his "alter ego" that protects him in a way. Yk we all have that one side of us that takes over as if on autopilot when we feel threatened in any way. I think that would be the same for chan, and if he were to feel comfortable with the idea of marriage and feel ready for that, the reading would be way way different. But i find future readings to not be much of my thing cuz thats way to unreliable cuz energy can change in so many ways, theres so many different outcomes... but we'll see how the other readings turn out and if all the guys have weird current energies that don't really answer what they'll be like as proper husband i may try a future reading.

[cherubcameron]

Love Espresso

Chapter two: welcome back to Kildare island

Synopsis: after her breakup with Rafe and him kicking her out. Her best friend offers her a new job and a place to stay. But when Rafe comes back from Morocco. He realizes he’d made a grave mistake. Will Sofia go back to him? Or will she decide that her new life means more to her than him?

Sofia was placing books by their respective shelves. She stared down at one that read “how to win his heart back,” then immediately shoving it back into one of the shelves. Even when she tried to not think of Rafe. Signs of him were everywhere. Like he was cursing her for what she did to him. And she couldn’t blame him for being angry. She would have been too. If it were her.

“Sofia! Do you know where I left the bookmarks?!” Liliana yelled. Sofia attention deviated from the books.

“Yeah! It’s in the back. Next to the printer!” Sofia yelled, she came out of the shelves. Finally finished with her tasks. Wheeling out the book cart with her, to place in the back.

“Okay, found them! Can you please start the coffee machine?!” Liliana yelled again, now in the back.

“Got it!” Sofia yells back, walking swiftly towards the coffee machine. She was glad that Liliana taught her how to use it properly. She knew how to make drinks thanks to the country club. So it wasn’t much different from that. She began to set it up, allowing the coffee machine to heat up.

She began to make sure that she had enough coffee beans, making sure it was cleaned, and making sure things were working smoothly. Before letting the machine do its thing on its own. It was ready for its first batch of coffee.

Liliana came out from the back finally. Carrying the box filled with bookmarks. A big grin on her face.

“I made these myself.” She said proudly, showcasing them to Sofia. Sofia looked at each other, her eyes roaming through them.

“Those are so pretty.” She said in awe. “You’ll definitely stand out with those. They’re not like the typical ones you see at the bookstores. It looks like you took some time with them.”

Liliana blushed, “It just took me three days to finalize. Oh! Also Hector is coming to help us with the shop. He’s going to be making all the little pastries.” She waved Sofia’s comment away. But Sofia could tell it meant a lot. Liliana loved anything creative. It made perfect sense that she made the bookmarks herself.

Sofia looked at her agaped, “Hector? Seriously? How?”

“I’m good at finding what makes people heart sing.” Liliana said, her eyes closing as she smiled. Sofia gave her an incredulous look.

When Liliana finally opened her eyes, she spotted the look Sofia gave her. Her smile dropping replaced with a scowl.

“He likes to bake. I helped him discover his dreams and to chase them.” Sofia raises an eyebrow at her, Liliana face drops once more.

“Rude. Anyway, he’s going to help us on that front. You and I can switch between doing the register and the floor. I’m still trying to hire more people.” Liliana explains, looking around. “They do say it takes a village.”

Sofia smiled up at her friend, she couldn’t help the way her heart swelled. She was so proud of her friend. Happy that she got to experience this with her.

Liliana goes to squeeze Sofias hand. “Thank you so much for helping me. I wouldn’t have done this without you.”

“Same here.” The words hold more weight, she hopes Liliana understands how much everything she’s done means to Sofia. She can only squeeze her hand back.

Rafe stared up at his house, apart of him hopeful. Maybe she hadn’t left. She hadn’t run off, this whole situation was messy. He hated not having the chance to talk to her. He wished he hadn’t let his anger get the best of him. She still betrayed him, so why did he feel like shit about it?

Once he managed to get himself to walk inside. He walked in slowly, trying to see if he could hear any noise. He didn’t hear any movements. He began to walk in quicker to the kitchen. He took a harsh intake of breath.

There lay the ring.

So she hadn’t taken it. She hadn’t left with it, to pawn it. She’d let him go, just like that. He didn’t know why he felt so upset. He’d told her to pack up her shit and leave. Of course, she listened. It was Sofia.

Rafe ran a hand through his buzz cut. This is not what he had anticipated. And now he had to admit to himself that he wished she had fought for their relationship.

“Hey Rafe?” Sarah says coming into the kitchen. She stops once she sees what he’s looking at. “That’s mom’s ring.”

Rafe nods, his eyes glued to it. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Sofia had just left it.

“You gave her mom’s ring?” Sarah asked, in shock. Rafe doesn’t speak at first, the regret building a home in his heart. Why didn’t he hear her out? He never found out the reason why Sofia did it.

“Rafe—

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay.” Rafe says quickly. He doesn’t want to be around anyone at the moment. He wants to be alone. This was all too much. He sees how spotless the house looks. Like Sofia had never even step foot in here since he’d proposed. Since he… broke up with her over the phone.

Sarah looks at him, but doesn’t say anything more. Rafe can feel her eyes on him and he tries to keep his face neutral. But he can’t help but let a scowl appear on his face.

“Rafe, she obviously meant a lot to you.” Sarah whispers. Rafe stares only at the ring. Tears start to film in his eyes and he wants to be alone. But doesn’t know how to say it gently. So he just shrugs.

“She betrayed me. Why am I the one who has to feel like shit for breaking up with her?” He asks bitterly, his voice is hoarse.

Sarah puts her head on his arm. A gesture that was very foreign for the Cameron siblings. But things had changed.

“You still loved her Rafe. That doesn’t change how you felt.”

Rafe finally managed to walk towards the kitchen counter. Picking up the ring in his hands. Letting the light glint against the diamond.

Sofia met up with Catalina. She still worked at the country club and she’d just gotten out of her shift for the day. Catalina took one good look at her and smiled.

“Mi amiguis!” Catalina squealed running towards Sofia. Sofia laughed, as Catalina wrapped her arms around Sofia. Sofia returning the hug.

“Hey cutie.” Sofia looked towards the country club. Seeing it again stirred emotions she didn’t think it would. Her smiles falters for a second before she turns her attention back to Catalina.

Catalina can see the conflicting look on sofias face. She sighs.

“He’s back.” She simply says, Sofia hearts drops.

“Oh.” She wasn’t expecting Catalina to tell her that. She lets a fake smile appear on her face.

“Good-good for him.”

“Sofia. I know you’re not happy about it.” Catalina says, unfortunately her friends could read her like a book. A quality that she both admired and hated at the same time.

“It’s fine. It’s— fine.” Sofia lies, she’s not ready. She can feel her heart sink. She doesn’t know how she’ll face him. She’s glad at least she’s no longer apart of the country club. She doesn’t have to deal with Rafe and his kook friends. Sofia lets out a sigh.

“Let’s go, okay. I’m hungry.” Sofia is glad that Catalina changes the subject. Sofia nods and takes Catalina to her car.

Song Sofia is listening to on her playlist

[drdemonprince]

Hi Devon, you’ve said in the past that you don’t mind being challenged so I guess I’m going to test that theory.

I totally agree with what you have said re trans men and cis men being Men but just arriving at that place from different routes.

You talk in your latest Insta post about women not seeing trans men as men as the problems with that.

However you in the past have talked openly about not feeling safe with cis women, and in fact have written a whole article on it. Outlining your past bad experiences with cis women. In that you clearly outlined a view that cis women specifically were more dangerous feeling to you, implying more so than trans women.

By your own account then are you not saying that you see trans women and cis woman as different and not as equal “women” because of your own experiences.

If that’s the case why can’t women differentiate between cis men and trans men and also say that they don’t feel safe with cis men because of past bad experiences but are ok with trans men because they haven’t had those same experiences.

For the record I’m a gay man so not coming at this from a defensive point of view but seeking to genuinely understand as there seems to be some possible cognitive dissonance or hypocrisy going on.

I say that with respect. I’m just wondering how you reconcile those two seemingly opposing views.

I think what you may be missing here is a differentiation between the descriptive and the prescriptive. The piece "I Don't Feel Safe Around Cis Women" is descriptive of my experience -- if you read through to the end, you'll see that I affirm that one day I hope that I will feel safe around cis women, and a lengthy exploration of the many many ways in which equating a person's identity to their safeness (or dangerousness) is unhelpful. That piece is far from an argument that cis women are categorically less safe than any other group, or a prescription that anyone's politics should be centered around the idea that cis women are uniquely dangerous. There is a very big difference between describing one's emotional feelings and making political pronouncements about how the world is or how people should be treated.

This same distinction applies in the opposite direction, too -- I think people have reasons for feeling uncomfortable or unsafe around cis men that obviously make a huge amount of sense. Frankly I don't care one way or another what somebody's feelings are. I have no intention of changing those. What I care about is a person's behavior, and the politics they advance -- and a politics that deems cis men as inherently more dangerous as individuals goes down a pretty troubling road when it's divorced from an understanding of structural power dynamics. The same thing is true of the cis woman discussion -- cis women aren't dangerous to me because they're women, or because of any innate quality to who they are; they're only more dangerous within a specific power differential. Similarly, cis men aren't all more dangerous to everyone who isn't a cis man -- we must take into account class, race, immigration status, ability level, and a number of other factors.

tldr; there's a big difference between someone feeling unsafe and someone having a politics that declares members of a group are actually inherently suspect, no matter the situation or their other positionalities.

[gowns]

the economy in los angeles rn is kinda um.... unprecedented levels of what da hell...

i initially wanted to be a filmmaker, playwright, actor, writer. i was just fascinated by film and theatre and knew that people made a living doing art -- i mean, my dad's a musician, so i personally knew people making a living doing art. but i was particularly drawn to storytelling and performance mediums.

so, i'm going to focus on film here: it's always been difficult to find work in hollywood, but there was still kind of a method of getting work. there are tons of studios and production companies. let's say out of 100 hopefuls, like 60-70 of them could find consistent work in one way or another. a lot of people end up in post production, smaller crew work, whatever, but they're grateful to be working in film in any way that they can while they (usually) nurse their secret dreams of funding and screening their own projects. and let's say like, 10 out of 100 of these people end up making short films for festivals (that are usually bids to make larger features), and 1 out of 100 could make a whole feature (i'm just pulling out random vibe-based statistics, i'm just typing up something quick here and don't want to look up / don't know if it's possible to see stats based on "dreams")

well the thing is, that hollywood is imploding. i know a lot of people who work in production and post-production. you live gig-to-gig. usually it's like, several weeks or maybe months of intense work on a project, then you're done, and floating free in a kind of nerve-wracking way, and then you get another gig, and then you're booked again. very feast or famine.

but lately it's just.... famine??? i keep seeing EXPERIENCED film industry people posting that they're looking for a job, any kind of job, and they have so much skills, but there's nothing.

like what i'm trying to say is... nothing is being greenlit. there are very very few new projects being made, in film or tv. it's going all the way back. some people say it's because of covid and production halting, other people say it's because of strikes, other people say it's all AI, other people say it's because of tiktok and how "anyone can make a video." and it's all of the above, combined with increasing costs of living -- it's not enough to just make a few thousand from a film gig and coast on that for the rest of the year, because your entire MONTHLY RENT is a few thousand dollars.

--

back in february 2020, i made a joke to a group of film production people, gesturing at posters for movies that looked terrible to me -- "god, they just keep making movies, and they all suck. i think what hollywood needs is a sabbatical. like, everyone should just stop making movies. there are already so many movies. we don't need anymore!" and there was a laugh then a sort of awkward silence, and i could sense a monkey paw curling just out of sight. and i quickly added "oh right, but like, there should still be movies of course, ha ha. like, you guys should still have work."

--

i think about this a lot.

like, film as a medium, film as a place in our culture, hollywood as the nexus of storytelling with a budget and many skilled hands.

it feels so present and eternal to me. but it's so new as a medium, and also predicated on so many factors. and a lot of those factors are like a crumbling cliff!

was it ever sustainable?

--

i sometimes envision my life with all these possible paths, and how i somehow picked this one random path (freelance photography), thinking that the other paths would still be open to me. "of course, anyone can do anything at any point in their life! :)" <- ever the sunny optimist.

but as i get older, and the economy gets worse, and the industry continues to implode -- and boy, if you think film is suffering, let's not even get into theatre or publishing -- i'm like wow. actually, all those other paths have gnarled dead trees and tumbleweeds. no matter how much i "dream" about XYZ, we're at a point in history where those things might not be viable anymore.

and then, outside of film as a medium, there's also the empire that we live in, the basis of all this material wealth that has been able to fund big-budget movies. and i love the things that can be done with hundreds of people and expensive cameras. but is that kind of storytelling going to continue to be feasible...?

and i get kinda freaked out because there's THOUSANDS of people here in california working in the film industry. and if they all lose their jobs....?

and if everyone i know loses their jobs...?

ummmmmmmm

like i said every day i wake up and see another "please for the love of god i need a job i have 4000 skills and no one is hiring" post and i just start sweating and going .... "what is happening..."

[sleepymccoy]

Okay so something happened in the trekdom (is that a term anyone has ever used)

I think spirk got canonised?? Or something?? And I assume that as my certified Trekkie Mutual you feel some kinda way about this. you’re a Spones shipper but still how we doing?

I'm sure someone's used trekdom! It makes sense as a word regardless

I appreciate the Trekkie certification lol

Yeah dude, look. Most of the fandom is big into spirk so like people enjoying that romance is par for the course! I got nothing against spirk, it's just a bit of a boring dynamic so I don't really spend time on it. Too healthy for my tastes. Spones is way more juicy, it's got the tension and the sort of different world views that you see in good omens, so it's fun!

To be clear tho, spirk is as canon as it's ever been. Strong subtext, but in the way that a homophobe could watch it and say well they're just good friends. Nothing has changed in that sense, it's just another bit of footage doing more of the same. It's less gay than a lot of the original series, but it's new and shiny so on a surface level i get the excitement

Shatner, who plays Kirk, has done this as a non canon short film. It's apparently considered as canon as the novels? Which is like, not much. Most people don't engage. I haven't really looked into that, im not gonna watch it cos it kind of pisses me off

The thing that really fucks my goat about it is that the guy who plays Spock died a while ago, and didn't get along with the guy who plays Kirk. But the guy who plays Kirk has funded and produced and managed this whole thing to be about his character and his importance, regardless of the wishes of the original Spock actor. Including literally doing someone up in prosthetics to look more like Nimoy. Not just Spock generally, but specifically Nimoy's Spock. Nimoy was involved in star trek films in his late life, and he didn't choose to do this when he was alive. Only after his death has Shatner forced this to happen

That's what's leaving a really bad taste in my mouth. And I feel like people are either not accepting Nimoy's death and are happy to see him puppeted by someone he disliked, which makes me pity them. I work in aged care so I know I'm more comfortable with death than the average, but like. This is a bit fucking dark, no? It's maudlin, let him rest in peace for fucks sake.

That, or they don't mind the manipulation of his image if it tickles their ship, which makes me dislike them. And I don't think I'll really get over that any time soon, it's so disrespectful. And those are both negative feelings, so I'm kind of generally not pleased about my dash rn

I'm trying to take an angle of being about McCoy cos he doesn't feature in the short and that feels wrong. Spock-centric stuff is feeling a little tainted right now, but I'm sure that'll pass. Fanart is different to this kind of image stealing, but it's still weird for me rn. And as much as I love Kirk, I can't remove him from Shatner and his megalomania right now. I hope that'll pass, but I don't think Shatner's gonna stop here so. Hm.

Besides I like McCoy and he's not complicated by all this so I'm just continuing to play in my little sandbox

It's a weird time for trekdom. There's a bit of a rift, and not down shipping lines. I'm seeing a lot of posts working through their complicated feeling around the disrespect inherent in stealing Nimoy's face for Shatner. And I'm seeing other people celebrate the disrespect cos their ship held hands and that makes it worth it.

I'm hoping people overwhelmingly calm down a bit in a week, get a bit embarassed about how pleased they were over something so gross, and it just sort of goes away. Then we can all go back to having a go at Shatner for his constant sexism and homophobia

At least it's not fucking AI tho!

[raayllum]

Analysis of the cube scene

Because it's like 0.2 seconds and I still have thoughts, so here we go.

First things first, I want to talk expression change, since we see Callum while speaking when you heighten the exposure on the clip's beginning that his eyebrows are a lot more raised, and then it hardens not quite into full-on anger maybe, but resignation.

We can also see the tip of Callum's hand gloves as he apparently holds the cube up. It's not absurd for him to hold the cube in his hand, as he has done many times before, but it seems more likely now in S7 that it's a reference back to this post from his pawn intro.

As for the background, whereas last time Callum being corrupted in the trailer featured Finnegrin's office (hence it + the overt framing of Aaravos) made it clear it was a nightmare, this background is a little more ambiguous. In my big trailer breakdown analysis, I noted that maybe the group would try to collect their allies, and the mushrooms look like the big ones we see near Zubeia.

So if Callum is standing or on sitting up on eye-level with some, that makes sense. His background also looks a little like the entrance to the Pit of Despair for the smooth blue shape, but it doesn't have any of the red mushrooms, so I'm ruling that out and putting it closer to Zubeia.

There's a few reasons we could be going to get Zubeia! We could be going to get her for her help, or mushroom salves if the Sunfire elves decide to try and purify Lux Aurea / themselves again in order to thwart Aaravos' plans if he needs both Sun and Moon to be actively corrupted (it does seem like Lux Aurea becomes safer later on in the trailer). Callum could be having a nightmare on his way to the Mushroom mage for that purpose, brought about by the knowledge that Aaravos is out, or Aaravos messing with his head again.

His nightmares previously seemed more induced by the corruption/Aaravos' hold on him (6x01) and his direct worry about it (6x03) when he knew being possessed was an option, as it is no longer, but they could retread ground from S6. Janai is seemingly receiving nightmares from Aaravos despite having no connection with dark magic, so it's certainly possible even if it I think it's less likely (more on that in a bit).

I've also wondered about what the "darkness and corruption will overwhelm you" would look like. Is it instantaneous, or is it slow-going? If it's the latter, Callum could be on his way to the mushroom mage in hopes of purifying himself before it takes over him completely, and has the vision of the cube going dark magic-y red during a night of fitful rest.

One of the things that makes discerning whether this is a dream or reality especially hard is that we know that dark magic dreams can be prophetic (the rune cube in Callum's in 2x08 highlighting ocean and moon, highlighting that he would use dark magic again in S5 Ocean and for his Moonshadow elf; little Claudia saying she's following in Viren's "footstep" (singular) or walking out into the ocean; Aaravos seemingly revealing information to Janai for whatever reason).

So Callum's 2x08 dream with the cube could reference the cube itself being corrupted somehow, and turning Aaravos' book into the ultimate guide to dark magic rather than primal magic. Perhaps the whole screenshot is based in reality.

The other thing that's tricky is that we know that dreams and reality can be blurred, tying into the prophetic aspect from before.

So aspects of it could be a dream / nightmare (Callum sees the dark magic cube, we do a wide cut to see he's corrupted - though he can't see it, maybe he could feel it?) or it could be fully reality, or a mixture of the two. I'm probably leaning towards the mixture option unless we discover the cube itself can be corrupted (which it presumably is tied to primal magic if not deep magic, so conceivably it Could??).

I'm also deeply curious about the context of Callum's "however dangerous, however vile". Unlike Viren or Claudia, it's not a refrain he's said before in a dream or otherwise, nor would he presumably have ever heard any of them say it. Perhaps he and Aaravos have a conversation, and Aaravos taunts him with the phrase or brings it up? Or he could hear Claudia say it in their duel in S7.

And there's our 500-ish words on a split second scene, what do you think is happening in it?

[bitchslapblastoids]

interesting but predictable how some of the inherent uncanny valley strangeness of bringing something that exists in the chronically online space into the real world can manifest. I’ve noticed this at all the other tours of theirs as well - some people can have a hard time separating internet behaviors from irl behaviors, and the sudden merging of these compartmentalized ways of being (online vs offline) can be hard to navigate.

I think it can also make people uncomfortable to see their comedic silly billie faves being serious, and there’s a dissonance to seeing them, these characters who live on our screens, along with the audience around you who are typically just avatars and usernames shitposting in lowercase, all suddenly in the same physical room. And suddenly that often completely disparate, scattered, semi-anonymous community needs to adapt to social mores and group norms in a new social context. It’s taking a community with its own set of rules that were designed for and in response to a digital landscape and plonking it into a completely alien environment. And yeah, we’re all humans who exist in public outside of our internet lives, but it’s different when that happens but you’re still in the context of the phandom.

Which I think is what leads to things like shouting out rly profane, out of pocket things during the quieter moments of their shows. because if you comment something like that online, you won’t rly be interrupting anything. you might be ignored, you might get some laughs, maybe you’ll get a notice bc haha unhinged right. Or like treating an evacuation drill as a lol pass the tea yas mommy daniel moment instead of an oh we’re actually here in real life moment.

I went back to my tatinof review bc I remembered writing this - “someone behind me kept screaming at them to "GET NAKED" (particularly during silences in the 7 second challenge) to which everyone in my area responded with claps and laughter.” During my second TIT show, there were people around me who wolf whistled and shouted “kinky” and “ayo ok freaky” during totally inappropriate moments. I remember during Dan’s quieter bits of WAD people could not seem to just stay silent. (I have suffered complete amnesia when it comes to ii so I can’t speak to any part of that experience lol.) after the preshow and during intermission at tit, I heard separate people at separate times making a range of critical comments about Dan and Phil’s bodies in ways that were downright shocking and not how I hope they’d typically feel comfortable speaking about other humans.

I think on the whole, phannies are so lovely and kind to one another. I feel deep gratitude for this community. And I know this isn’t just a phandom thing; I think how we treat one another in public spaces has generally really eroded, and concert etiquette has become abysmally poor. But phandom, as always, is a little unique, because of the sense of mutual understanding and the co-created dynamic between us and d&p. It dissolves the boundaries, so when Dan tells you to shut up, your online brain tells you that’s just a chance to be funny with your fave. When you have a chance to be heard, your online brain provides a memey shitpost joke and your irl self shouts it out even though that ain’t the move in a theatre performance unless invited to do so.

No real conclusion here, just some observations about the rly unique dynamic this all creates!