#eunseok angst | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

loveanton · 5 months ago

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honestly | song eunseok

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: you always thought that jung sungchan would forever be a part of your life, never once imagining a world where the two of you didn't speak let alone get along. now, three months have come to pass since you last spoke to the man you once thought you’d marry and you're starting to become content with the idea that maybe your world doesn't have to revolve around jung sungchan after all.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: eunseok x f!reader ft sungchan

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: friends to almost lovers!au

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 8.7k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: lots of kissing, drinking, eunseok and sungchan almost fight, they shower together, nipple sucking, slight choking, arguing between the reader and eunseok, this is more suggestive than pt 1.

⏤ 𝑎/n: this is a pt 2 to everything i didn’t say which you can find here!

You giggle as you sneak another spoonful of Eunseok's ice cream, your eyes twinkling with mischief. He tries to push you away gently, laughing.

"Hey, get your own!" He giggles. Despite his playful resistance, he relents, offering you another bite. You grin, accepting the spoonful with a delighted hum.

Beomgyu watches the two of you, shaking his head with a grin. "Eunseok, you my friend, are so whipped."

Karina nudges him with her elbow. "Shut up, Beomgyu. They're cute together."

It's a warm evening, and the group of you—Jake, Anton, Beomgyu, Yujin, and Karina—are seated at a booth inside the ice cream parlor, enjoying the summer night. The conversation flows easily, punctuated by laughter and the occasional jibe.

As you savor the stolen bite of Eunseok’s soft serve, your thoughts drift back over the past few months. It's hard to believe it's been three months since you last spoke to Sungchan, the man you imagined marrying. You never thought a world where the two of you didn't speak, let alone didn't get along, could ever exist. But here you are, beginning to accept that maybe your world doesn't have to revolve around Sungchan after all.

These three months have been a period of self-discovery and healing. You’ve spent time figuring out who you are apart from Sungchan. The first few weeks were the hardest. The memories of him were everywhere, and it felt like a part of you was missing. But slowly, you began to find solace in new routines and new friendships. Eunseok and his friends became your anchor. They took you in, and their warmth and kindness made the pain of Sungchan’s absence bearable.

For too long all you ever knew was Sungchan, ending the toxicity that had become your friendship has been doing you good. Karina and Yujin took you under their wing and treated you as a sister, often coming over to your dorm for sleepovers and staying up late to listen to you vent about how hurt you were. Jake, Anton and Jake also became like brothers, for too long you only ever had Sungchan to depend on. It’s so refreshing having other guys in your life who add to it in such a positive way. They don’t leave you in a state of confusion or go out of their way to intentionally hurt you, they constantly love on you and do what they can to make sure you feel that love.

Eunseok, especially, had been your rock. He was always there when the memories got too overwhelming, offering a shoulder to cry on. He made you laugh when the stress of classes was too much and was there to celebrate your small victories. Most importantly, he loved you in a way you wished Sungchan had.

A week ago, Eunseok had asked you out, and without hesitation, you had accepted. Since then, things have been going great. You feel lighter, happier, and more yourself than you have in a long time.

Returning to the present, you smile as Eunseok offers you another bite of his ice cream, his eyes soft with affection. "You know, I think you like my ice cream more than your own," he says, his tone playful.

You shrug, leaning in to accept the spoonful. "Maybe I just like you more," you reply with a wink.

He chuckles and leans in to kiss your cheek, but just as his lips brush your skin, the door to the ice cream parlor opens. Your heart skips a beat as Sungchan walks in, accompanied by Shotaro and Wonbin.

Your eyes meet Sungchan’s, and for a moment, time seems to stand still. Sungchan’s expression is a mix of surprise and something else – a flicker of jealousy. He sees you with Eunseok, the way you’re so comfortable and happy together, and it’s clear that it affects him. His roommate is now the person holding you, the one who makes you smile.

You feel a pang of sadness at the sight of Sungchan. You were once so close, but now you’re strangers. The realization of how much has changed is bittersweet. Yet, beneath the sadness, there is a sense of satisfaction.

Sungchan and his friends approach the counter to order, and you can’t help but steal glances in his direction. It’s strange to see him like this, to be so close yet feel so distant. Part of you wants to go over and talk to him, to bridge the gap that’s grown between you. But another part of you feels smug, enjoying the way Eunseok holds you and the way Sungchan seems to react to it.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Eunseok asks quietly, noticing your distraction.

You shake your head. “No, I’m okay. Let’s stay.”

He nods and squeezes your hand, giving you a reassuring smile. Your group continues their light-hearted banter, trying to maintain the cheerful atmosphere despite the tension that has entered the room.

You can’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Seeing Sungchan again stirs up old memories and feelings, but you also feel a sense of pride in your new relationship. Eunseok has been everything you needed and more, and you’re grateful for his unwavering support and love.

Sungchan and his friends walk over to your group, their expressions casual but their presence adding a palpable tension. Anton looks up, a forced smile on his face as he greets them. "Hey, Sungchan, Shotaro, Wonbin."

"Hey, Anton," Sungchan replies, his eyes flickering towards you and Eunseok before quickly looking away.

The rest of your friends exchange wary glances, not particularly pleased to see Sungchan and his entourage. However, they tolerate his presence due to Anton's connection with him through the swim team. Anton shifts uncomfortably before reluctantly asking, "Do you guys want to join us?"

Eunseok’s grip on you tightens slightly, his protective side showing. You can feel his unease, and you lean into him, offering silent support. Sungchan and his friends agree, pulling up chairs to join your booth. The atmosphere shifts, becoming awkward and tense.

Sungchan attempts to break the silence with small talk. "So, how’s everyone been?"

Karina doesn’t hide her disdain, her tone sharp. "Better, now that we don’t have any toxic people around."

Jake snickers at her comment, leaning back in his chair. "Play nice, Karina."

Sungchan brushes off the remark, forcing a smile. "It’s good to see you too, Karina."

The tension is almost tangible as you all sit together, the easy camaraderie from earlier now strained. Wonbin, trying to lighten the mood, chimes in, "Hey, we were thinking of going to a rave tonight. You guys interested?"

Your friends exchange uncertain looks. They seem reluctant, knowing that you and Eunseok might not be keen on the idea, especially with Sungchan present. Eunseok speaks up, his voice calm but firm. "Actually, we have plans for tonight. We’re going on a date."

Sungchan’s eyes flicker with a mixture of emotions – jealousy, regret, and something else you can’t quite place. He stares at you and Eunseok, his discomfort evident. The group remains silent for a moment before Beomgyu breaks it, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Will Yuri be there?"

Sungchan’s expression hardens slightly. "No, we’ve broken up, so I doubt it."

You and Eunseok share a look but don’t comment. The dynamics of your friend group have shifted so much in the past months, and seeing Sungchan now feels like looking at a stranger. Despite the tension, there’s a sense of closure in knowing you’ve moved on to something healthier and more fulfilling.

Eunseok glances at his watch, then at you. "We should probably get going. We have to head to the trampoline park."

The mention of your date brings a soft smile to your lips. "Yeah, we don’t want to be late."

Sungchan’s gaze lingers on you both, his jealousy more palpable now. He opens his mouth as if to say something but then closes it, swallowing his words. Anton tries to lighten the mood one last time. "Have fun, you two."

You and Eunseok gather your things, saying your goodbyes to the group. As you stand up to leave, Eunseok’s hand finds yours, his touch reassuring. You cast one last glance at Sungchan, noting the mix of emotions on his face – a stark contrast to the happiness you feel with Eunseok.

Outside, the sun is still blazing, but the air feels lighter. Eunseok looks at you, his eyes full of warmth and affection. "Are you okay?"

You nod, squeezing his hand. "I’m more than okay. I’m with you."

As you walk towards the trampoline park, the memories of Sungchan fade into the background. What matters now is the present – the love and happiness you’ve found with Eunseok and the new friendships that have become a significant part of your life.

When you arrive at the trampoline park, it’s a kaleidoscope of colors and motion, filled with laughter and the sound of bouncing springs. As you and Eunseok enter, you can’t help but feel a surge of excitement. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, his smile infectious.

“You ready to jump?” he asks, his eyes twinkling.

You nod eagerly. “Absolutely.”

Eunseok pays for both your entrance fees and leads you towards the cubbies meant for your personal items. The two of you kick off your shoes and step onto the trampolines, the soft mats beneath your feet making you feel like you’re walking on clouds. With a playful grin, Eunseok starts bouncing, his movements light and effortless. You follow suit, giggling as you try to match his rhythm.

“Bet you can’t catch me!” you call out, jumping higher and moving to another trampoline.

“Oh, you’re on!” he replies, laughter bubbling up as he chases after you.

You both jump from one trampoline to the next, the exhilaration making your heart race. At one point, Eunseok reaches out and catches your hand, pulling you close as you both bounce together. The world around you blurs into a joyful whirlwind, and all you can focus on is the warmth of his hand in yours and the sound of his laughter.

After a while, you both decide to take a break. You find a spot to sit on the edge of the trampoline area, still holding hands. Your cheeks are flushed from the exercise and laughter, and you feel more alive than you have in a long time.

Eunseok looks at you, his expression softening. “This is fun. I’m glad we came here.”

“Me too,” you reply, leaning your head against his shoulder.

He hesitates for a moment, then takes a deep breath. “So, um… Sungchan.”

You tense slightly, but you knew this topic would come up sooner or later. You lift your head to meet his gaze, waiting for him to continue.

“His breakup with Yuri…” Eunseok says quietly. “I just… I want to make sure you’re okay. I know it’s a lot to process, and I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything.”

You smile gently, appreciating his concern. “Eunseok, this doesn’t change anything for me. Sungchan and I… we had our time, and it’s over. I’m with you now, and I’m really happy with you. I want to build something new with you, not dwell on the past.”

Relief washes over Eunseok’s face, and he pulls you into a hug. “I’m so glad to hear that,” he murmurs into your hair. “You mean a lot to me, and I just want you to be happy.”

You pull back slightly, looking into his eyes. “Thank you, Eunseok. For everything. I don’t think I’ve said it enough these past three months, but thank you for being there for me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

His smile is warm and tender. “You don’t have to thank me. I care about you a lot, and I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.”

You feel a swell of emotion, and you lean in to kiss him softly. It’s a sweet, lingering kiss, full of promise and affection. When you pull away, you see nothing but love and happiness in his eyes.

“Let’s keep jumping,” you say with a grin, wanting to prolong this perfect moment.

Eunseok laughs and helps you to your feet. “Let’s do it.”

Hand in hand, you return to the trampolines, ready to lose yourselves in the joy of the present. The memories of Sungchan continue to fade into the background, replaced by the bright, new memories you’re creating with Eunseok.

The sun is high in the sky, casting a warm glow over Anton’s sprawling backyard. His house, the largest in your friend group, is the perfect setting for a summer pool party. The smell of barbecue wafts through the air, mingling with the sounds of laughter and splashing water.

You’re lying on a lounger, soaking up the sun with your eyes closed, enjoying the warmth on your skin. You can hear the cheerful chatter of your friends, the occasional burst of laughter, and the rhythmic splashes from the pool. Anton, ever the host, approaches, casting a shadow over you.

"Hey, are you just going to tan all day, or are you actually going to get in the pool?" Anton asks, grinning down at you.

You snort, opening one eye to look up at him. "No way. I just got my hair done."

Anton shakes his head, chuckling. "Loser," he teases before wandering off to join his swim team friends.

You laugh, watching him go. Anton’s always been the life of the party, effortlessly moving between groups and making everyone feel included. Your attention shifts as Eunseok emerges from the pool, water dripping from his hair and glistening on his toned body. He takes a seat beside you, leaning in to kiss you. You blush but indulge him, savoring the taste of his lips.

Ever since your first kiss at the trampoline park a week ago, the two of you haven’t been able to keep your hands off each other. It’s a constant source of amusement—and occasional irritation—for your friends.

"Seriously? Again?" Jake shouts in complaint from the pool, his voice dripping with mock indignation. "Get a room!"

Eunseok flips him off without breaking the kiss, making you giggle. He finally pulls back, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Come on, let’s get something to eat."

He takes your hand, helping you up from the lounger. As you walk towards the house, Beomgyu and Jake make exaggerated gagging noises.

"Anton, you better clean the sheets before your parents come back!" Beomgyu calls out, laughing.

"Use protection!" Jake adds, his tone playful.

Eunseok laughs and flips off the pair, yelling over his shoulder, “fuck off!”

Yujin, ever the voice of reason, rolls her eyes at them. "Will you two grow up and find someone to lay you so you can stop riding, ____’s dick."

Inside the house, the air is cooler, a welcome relief from the heat outside. You make your way to the kitchen, where a large fruit platter awaits. Sohee, your new friend from organic chemistry, is there, arranging more food. You’d convinced Anton to invite him, thinking he’d fit in well with the group. He greets the two of you as Eunseok starts plating different food for you. Sohee lets you know he’s going out to join Anton by the pool before waving goodbye.

Eunseok picks up a piece of fruit and holds it out to you. "Here, try this."

You take a bite, savoring the sweetness. "Mmm, it’s good."

He grins and leans in, kissing you right after you swallow the pineapple. The kiss deepens quickly, and before you know it, Eunseok has you cornered against the counter, his hands roaming your body as your mouths move together in a passionate dance.

Just then, Sungchan walks in, looking for a beer. He scoffs at the sight of you and Eunseok, causing you to pull away abruptly. Eunseok places himself protectively in front of you, not wanting Sungchan to see you in your bathing suit.

"People eat in here, you know," Sungchan sneers. "You’re disgusting."

Embarrassed, you start to apologize, but Eunseok cuts you off. "Just get your beer and go, Sungchan. No need to be rude."

Sungchan doesn’t move, his eyes narrowing. He’s clearly a little tipsy and looking for a fight. You can sense the tension building and decide it’s best to defuse the situation. You tug on Eunseok’s arm. "Come on, let’s go. It’s not worth it."

Eunseok reluctantly allows you to pull him away, his eyes still locked on Sungchan. Once you’re back outside, the lively atmosphere of the pool party helps you forget the encounter. Your friends are laughing and playing games, completely oblivious to the brief confrontation inside.

Beomgyu spots you and waves you over. "Hey, come join us!"

You and Eunseok make your way to the poolside, rejoining the group. Anton is in the middle of a cannonball competition with Jake, their playful rivalry adding to the festive mood. You take a seat on the edge of the pool, dipping your feet into the cool water.

"So, what did you guys find to eat?" Karina asks, lounging on a float nearby.

"Just some fruit and maybe each other's faces," you reply, smiling smugly. "But we were rudely interrupted."

Eunseok chuckles, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"Forget about him," Yujin says, rolling her eyes. "He’s just jealous."

"Yeah, probably," you agree, feeling the weight of Sungchan’s gaze still lingering in your mind. "But let’s not let him ruin our fun."

The group continues to enjoy the party, the earlier tension fading away. You watch as Eunseok dives back into the pool, joining Anton and Jake in their antics. His laughter is infectious, and you find yourself smiling, feeling grateful for the new friends and love in your life.

Eunseok soon comes out of the water and comes over to wrap a towel around your shoulders, the fabric warm and comforting against your skin. "You looked a little cold," he says softly, his hand lingering on your shoulder.

"Thanks," you reply, snuggling into the towel. The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a moment, watching the sky's colors shift from vibrant orange to a soft purple as the sun sets.

"I wanted to tell you something," Eunseok begins, his voice hesitant. "I'm moving in with Jake and Beomgyu next month for the new school year."

You blink, taken aback by the news. "What? Really?" You knew Sungchan and Eunseok's friendship had become strained the more Sungchan mistreated you, but you never thought Eunseok would leave their apartment.

Eunseok sighs, running a hand through his damp hair. "Yeah. There's no reason to stay. Sungchan's been a dick to me ever since you two stopped being friends, and I'm over it. I can't keep babying him to get him to say why he's so pissed at me."

You place a hand on his arm, offering a reassuring squeeze. "You never did anything to him, Eunseok. He's the one who's been unfair."

He smiles at you, his eyes softening. "Thanks for understanding. It means a lot."

"If you need help moving out, just shoot me a text," you offer, trying to lighten the mood.

Eunseok chuckles, his mood lifting a bit. "If you came to help, we probably wouldn't be moving things. We'd be making out."

You laugh, feeling the tension ease. "You're probably right." You stand up, brushing the sand off your legs. "I'm gonna use the bathroom, and then we can head out."

As you roam the halls of Anton's large home, you hear faint mumbling and the sound of stumbling footsteps. You turn a corner and see Sungchan, very drunk and barely able to stand. He mumbles to himself, his eyes unfocused.

You hesitate, debating whether to help him or not. Against your better judgment, you approach him. "Sungchan, are you okay?"

He looks at you, his eyes watery and confused. "I'm... I'm fine," he slurs, but then he nearly falls over.

You catch him just in time, steadying him. "Come on, let's get you to a bedroom." You guide him to the nearest room, setting him down on the bed. He clings to you, his tears flowing freely.

"I miss you," he cries, his voice broken. "I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have put Yuri first. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

You try to calm him down, patting his back gently. "It's okay, Sungchan. I'm over it."

He shakes his head, his grip tightening. "No, you're not. I know you. You're still hurt, and I'm sorry."

You nod, feeling anxious with how unconsolable he is. "Okay, all is forgiven."

He pauses, his sobs quieting for a moment. "Will you be at my birthday? You've never missed one."

You feel as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped on you. You had completely forgotten about Sungchan's birthday. You glance at a calendar in the room and see that it's August 24th. His birthday is in a little over two weeks.

Lost in your thoughts, you struggle to understand how you forgot something that used to mean so much to you. You also take a moment to acknowledge that he's drunk and might not actually want you at the party. But at the same time, you realize that if you don't go, it might really signify the end of your friendship.

"I'll think about it," you finally say.

Sungchan looks at you, his eyes filled with regret. "I envy Eunseok."

You're confused. "Why?"

He sighs, his voice barely above a whisper. "Because he had the balls to do what I was always too scared to do."

Your heart races, shock and anger flooding your system. Sungchan starts to lean in as if to kiss you, but then the door swings open, and Eunseok walks in.

"Eunseok!" you exclaim, scooting back quickly.

Eunseok's eyes darken as he takes in the scene. "What's going on?" he asks, his voice tense. He strides over, grabbing Sungchan by the collar of his shirt.

"Nothing happened," you say quickly, stepping between them. "He's drunk."

Eunseok looks at you, his jaw clenched, and then back at Sungchan. After a tense moment, he lets go, taking a step back. "Let's get out of here," he says, his voice tight.

You nod, taking Eunseok's hand and leading him out of the room, leaving Sungchan behind. As you walk down the hallway, you can feel the anger radiating off of Eunseok.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, squeezing his hand.

"It's not your fault," he replies, his voice softening. "Let's just go."

As you step outside, the cool night air hits you, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart and mind. Eunseok pulls you close, wrapping an arm around you protectively.

"I don't feel comfortable with Sungchan around you," he admits, his voice low and tense.

You stop walking and turn to face him, holding his gaze. "Nothing happened, Eunseok. He’s drunk and upset. I just helped him because I felt bad seeing him like that."

Eunseok's eyes search yours, his frustration evident. "Then why was he leaning in to kiss you?"

You hesitate, the words you shared with Sungchan replaying in your mind. "I... I don’t know," you finally say, averting your eyes.

Eunseok's expression tightens, a mix of hurt and anger flashing across his face. "You don't know?"

Silence hangs heavy between you, the tension almost palpable. "Whatever," he mutters, turning away. "Let's just go."

The drive to your dorm is tense and awkward, the silence thick with unspoken words. You glance over at Eunseok, his knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel. Your mind drifts back to the conversation with Sungchan, replaying his drunken confession and how upset you were by it.

How dare he say he envies Eunseok? This is the same Sungchan who told you that your feelings for him disgusted him, who pushed you away and left you heartbroken. Now he’s jealous that Eunseok had the courage to be honest about his emotions? It's complete bull, and the more you think about it, the angrier you become.

You try to shake off the thoughts, but they cling to you like a shadow. The car ride stretches on, the silence deafening. You steal glances at Eunseok, wanting to say something, anything, to break the tension, but the words won’t come.

When you finally reach your dorm for the summer, the weight of the evening presses down on you. Eunseok parks the car and gets out, walking you to your door like he always does. The silence between you feels almost unbearable.

"Eunseok," you start, reaching for his hand, but he pulls away, his frustration evident.

"I just need some space right now," he says, his voice strained.

Fear grips your heart. "Are you... are you breaking up with me?”

His expression softens slightly, and he shakes his head. "No, I’m not breaking up with you. I'm still very much into you and our relationship. But it's clear you're hiding something, and until you’re ready to be honest with me, I need some space."

Tears well up in your eyes as he steps closer, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Make sure you eat something before going to bed," he murmurs, his voice softer now. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," you whisper back, watching as he turns and walks away.

You enter your dorm, the silence of the empty room echoing the silence that had filled the car. You collapse onto your bed, the events of the night swirling in your mind.

As you lie there, you realize that despite everything, you need to be honest with Eunseok. He deserves to know the truth, even if it’s painful. But for now, you need to process everything that happened and figure out how to tell him.

You curl up on your bed, feeling the emptiness of the room around you. The conversation with Sungchan plays over and over in your mind, his tearful apologies, his regrets, and his jealousy of Eunseok. It all feels so surreal, like a bad dream you can’t wake up from.

Eventually, exhaustion takes over, and you drift off to sleep, hoping that tomorrow will bring some clarity and a chance to make things right.

The following morning you wake up to a ding from your phone. You groggily reach for the device and see a string of text messages from Eunseok. Your heart skips a beat as you open the first one.

[seokie 🪨]: I'm sorry

[seokie🪨]: I fully trust you. If you say nothing happened, then nothing happened.

Relief washes over you as you read the third message.

[seokie🪨]: Are we okay?

You feel a mix of relief and guilt. He's not mad, but you still haven't been completely honest with him. You quickly type a response, your fingers trembling slightly.

[you]: we're good. can i come over?

His reply is almost immediate.

[seokie🪨]: Of course. Do you want me to pick you up?

You smile, shaking your head as you respond.

[you]: no need, i'll walk it's not far

You get ready, feeling a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. When you arrive at his place, Eunseok greets you with a kiss, his touch warm and reassuring.

"I have a surprise for you," he says, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Curiosity piqued, you follow him into the kitchen, where you're met with an array of baking items laid out on the counter. Your heart swells with emotion, remembering how you once told him about your love for baking to ease stress.

"You remembered," you say, touched. You wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," you repeat, kissing him.

Eunseok smiles, his eyes twinkling. "I know you already forgave me, but I wanted to do something nice for you anyway."

The two of you start baking a cake, following a recipe Eunseok had found. You're impressed by his dedication to measuring out the exact portions, his concentration making you smile.

"Where did you find this recipe?" you ask, amused by his precision.

"Pinterest," he replies, grinning. "Seemed like a good one."

Once everything is mixed and the cake is in the oven, you sit on the counter and Eunseok steps between your legs, his hands resting on your hips.

"Where do you see our relationship going?" he asks, his voice soft but serious. "I know it's early, but I really like you."

You look into his eyes, feeling the sincerity in his words. "I like you too, Eunseok. I see us going far. I want to keep exploring this."

He smiles, relieved. "What about your living situation next semester? Are you still moving in with Yujin and Karina?"

You nod. "Yeah, I am. It'll be nice to have some independence and be with friends."

Eunseok leans in closer, his breath warm against your skin. "I'm glad. I want you to be happy."

You smile, feeling a playful urge. "Speaking of happy," you say, grabbing a handful of flour and tossing it at him.

Eunseok laughs, grabbing some flour and tossing it back at you. A full-blown flour fight ensues, both of you laughing and dodging each other's attacks. You relent when you see you're losing, flour and batter everywhere.

Eunseok takes your hand. "Let's get cleaned up."

He leads you to his bedroom, and you start to undress. He begins to leave to give you privacy, but you catch his arm.

"Join me?" you ask, your voice soft and inviting.

He hesitates for a moment, then nods, a smile playing on his lips. You take his hand and walk into the bathroom, you get into the shower first and look at him, completely vulnerable as he stares at your naked body.

He’s quick to strip and then steps into the shower with you, pressing you against the wall, his mouth already on yours. A wanton moan leaves your lips when he slides his hands down your sides as he tilts his head to the side and deepens the kiss. He places a hand on your right breast playing with it, he lightly pinches and rolls your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger.

You moan against his mouth which causes him to smirk before pulling away and angling his head down until his lips wrapped around your right nipple, which he had neglected before, sucking gently. His tongue swirls around the flesh and his teeth graze over your nipple.

“Please don’t stop.” You breathily whine, caught up in the feeling of your boyfriend sending you over the edge.

He slowly pulls away from your chest and places one last kiss on your lips. “We don’t want our cake to burn.”

He steps away from you completely and gets to work on lathering your body with his wash. You lift your eyes to look at him but he doesn’t return your gaze and continues to wash your body. You pout deeply and reach out to grab his hand to place back on your breast.

“Seok please!”

Eunseok remains expressionless for a few seconds until a small smile creeps up his face. His hand roughly squeezes the breast it’s resting on before he snakes his way up your body again and you think it’s to hold you steady by your shoulder, but you gasp when he seizes his large hand over your throat.

“Eun—”

He squeezes your neck and you moan, hands flying to grab his wrist. “Don’t be a brat.”

He gives you one more warning squeeze before pulling his hand away from your neck. Feeling dejected and slightly annoyed you stand still and let him finish bathing you.

Once he finishes rinsing the soap off your body and washing down his own body and hair, the two of you exit the bathroom. Eunseok dresses you in one of his shirts and a pair of sweats. "You look good in my clothes," he teases, kissing your forehead.

"Is Sungchan home?" you ask, suddenly remembering the previous night's tension.

"No," Eunseok replies, shaking his head. "He went out with friends."

You feel a bit more at ease as you head back to the kitchen to decorate the cake. Despite your best efforts, it turns out looking a bit discombobulated, but the laughter and fun make it worth it.

"At least it tastes good," you say, taking a bite and grinning.

Eunseok laughs, nodding. "We tried."

He grabs some boxed wine, and the two of you sit on the couch. You take a deep breath, deciding to finally be honest with him.

"About last night," you start, your voice trembling slightly. "Sungchan was really drunk. He... he told me he misses me and that he's sorry. He said he envies you because you had the courage to do what he couldn't."

Eunseok's expression darkens, but he nods for you to continue. "How do you feel about all this?"

"Angry," you admit, tears pricking at your eyes. "He told me my feelings for him disgusted him, and now he's jealous?"

Eunseok sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Are you going to his birthday party?"

You hesitate, unsure how to respond. "I feel like I should," you finally say. "For closure."

Eunseok's jaw tightens. "I would prefer if you didn't."

You frown, frustration bubbling up. "I have to go, Eunseok. We were friends for years. I need to hear him out."

He shakes his head, his frustration evident. "You don't have to do anything. You want to go, and I wish you could be honest about that."

Your eyes narrow, feeling a surge of anger. "We’ve been friends for years, I can’t just act like he means nothing just because a few months have passed!”

Eunseok's eyes flash with frustration. "A few months? He treated you like crap, and now you're willing to just forgive him because he’s drunk and feeling sorry for himself?"

You stand up, pacing the room. "It's not about forgiving him, Eunseok. It's about closure. I need to understand why he did what he did."

"Why do you need closure from someone who hurt you so badly?" Eunseok snaps, standing up as well. "He had his chance, and he blew it."

You turn to face him, your own anger rising. "You don't understand. He was my best friend. I need to at least try to get some answers."

Eunseok takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "And what if he tries to pull something again? What if he says more things to mess with your head?"

"I can handle it," you insist. "I need to do this for myself."

He shakes his head, his expression a mix of anger and hurt. "You’re not listening to me. I'm telling you this isn't a good idea."

"And I'm telling you that I have to go," you say, your voice firm.

Eunseok's face hardens. "Fine. Do what you want. But don't expect me to be okay with it."

"Why can't you support me on this?" you plead, feeling a knot of frustration and desperation tighten in your chest.

"Because I care about you!" he shouts, his voice echoing in the small space. "I don't want to see you get hurt again."

You feel tears welling up, but you blink them back. "I care about you too, but this is something I need to do."

Eunseok clenches his fists, his knuckles turning white. "Then go. But don't expect me to be waiting here with open arms."

You stand there for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. "I didn't think you'd be so controlling," you whisper, hurt evident in your voice.

His eyes widen with a mix of shock and anger. "Controlling? I'm trying to protect you!"

"I don't need protection from you," you snap back. "I need understanding."

Eunseok glares at you, his jaw tight. "Well, I guess we’re at an impasse."

"Yeah," you agree, your voice shaky. "I guess we are."

Without another word, you grab your things and head for the door. Eunseok doesn’t stop you, and the silence is deafening as you walk away. Just as you’re about to step out, you hear him mutter something under his breath, but you can’t make it out.

You leave, feeling a mix of anger and sadness. You wanted today to be a step towards healing, but now it feels like everything is falling apart.

Eunseok watches you go, his heart heavy with frustration and regret. He grabs the boxed wine, takes a long drink, and slams it down on the coffee table, the anger simmering just beneath the surface.

You storm into Sohee's dorm room, your anger radiating off you in waves. "Can you believe that? He thinks he owns me or something!"

Sohee looks up from his desk, concern etched across his face. "What happened?" he asks, motioning for you to sit down.

You start pacing instead, the words spilling out in a rush. "Eunseok and I had this huge argument. He doesn’t want me to go to Sungchan’s birthday party. I told him I need closure, but he’s acting like I’m betraying him or something."

Sohee listens intently, his brow furrowing as he takes in your words. When you finally stop to catch your breath, he leans back in his chair, considering his response carefully. "Okay, let's break this down. Eunseok is your boyfriend now, right? So, naturally, he's going to be protective."

You scoff, crossing your arms. "Protective? It feels more like he’s being controlling. He doesn’t get to tell me what to do."

Sohee shakes his head. "It's not that simple. Eunseok was just looking out for you. It’s not wrong for him to be upset about you wanting to go see Sungchan—the very guy who hurt you. Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he wanted to hang out with an ex who hurt him?"

You pause, the anger starting to ebb as you think about it. "I... I guess I’d feel pretty insecure."

"Exactly," Sohee says, leaning forward. "You’re dating Eunseok now. Of course, it won’t make him happy to see his girlfriend run into the arms of the man she loved for years, especially now that Sungchan is saying those feelings are returned."

Your shoulders slump, and you let out a sigh. "I didn’t think about it like that. I just... I need closure. I need to understand why Sungchan did what he did."

Sohee gives you a sympathetic look. "I get that. But if you really feel like going to Sungchan’s party is the only way you can move on, then maybe you shouldn’t be dating Eunseok right now. It’s clear you have more things to work through."

"That’s not fair," you protest, tears pricking at your eyes. "I really love Eunseok, but I need to know why Sungchan chose to hurt me that way."

"So ask him," Sohee says gently. "There’s no need to feed into something Sungchan wants. Just ask him directly. That way, you get the answers you need without disrespecting your relationship with Eunseok."

You sit down, the weight of Sohee’s words settling over you. "You’re right. I should just ask him."

Sohee smiles, giving you a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "You can do this. And remember, Eunseok loves you. He’s just trying to protect you."

Feeling more resolved, you pull out your phone and text Sungchan.

[you]: hey, are you free? i need to talk to you

You send the message and take a deep breath, hoping this will help you find the closure you need without jeopardizing your relationship with Eunseok. Sohee watches you, a supportive presence in the midst of your turmoil. "Good luck," he says softly. "I know it’s not easy, but you’ll get through this."

You nod, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "Thanks, Sohee. I really needed to hear that."

"Anytime," he replies with a warm smile. "Just remember, you’re not alone in this. You’ve got people who care about you."

You nod, feeling a bit lighter. "I know. And I’m going to make things right with Eunseok."

"That’s the spirit," Sohee says, giving you an encouraging thumbs-up. "Go get 'em."

You and Sohee continue to chat, your conversation shifting to lighter topics as you unwind from the emotional turmoil of the past few days. As you talk about your plans for the upcoming semester and some of the fun things you’ve got planned with your friends, your phone buzzes with a notification. It’s a message from Sungchan.

[sungchan]: i'm free tomorrow

[sungchan]: how about we meet at 3?

You glance at Sohee, who raises an eyebrow in question. "Sungchan says he’s free tomorrow at 3. I guess it’s happening."

Sohee nods. "Good. Get it out of the way so you can move forward."

You quickly type back a reply, agreeing to meet Sungchan at the boba shop near campus. "It’s set," you say, feeling a mix of relief and nervousness. "I’m meeting him tomorrow."

Sohee gives you a reassuring nod. "You'll do fine. Just stay honest and keep your cool."

You smile, grateful for his support. "Thanks, Sohee. By the way, do you think you could help me pick out a gift for him?"

Sohee looks surprised. "A gift? For Sungchan? Why?"

"It’s a parting gift," you explain, your voice soft. "Something to signify the end of our friendship, in a way. I just want to leave things on a good note."

Sohee sighs but eventually nods. "Alright. I get it. Let’s go to Target and see what we can find."

The two of you head to Target, wandering through the aisles as you think about what to get Sungchan. You want it to be something meaningful, something that represents your time together. As you pass the toy section, your eyes land on a LEGO set, and a memory from your childhood flashes before you.

"This is perfect," you say, picking up the box.

Sohee looks at it curiously. "A LEGO set? What’s the importance behind it?"

"It was the first one we built together," you explain, your voice tinged with nostalgia. "The first time I ever went to his house. It seems like a fitting end for us."

Sohee nods, understanding. "That’s a good idea. It’s personal and meaningful."

You also grab a card, planning to write Sungchan a note to go along with the gift. As you make your way to the checkout, Sohee gives you an encouraging smile. "You’re doing the right thing."

"I hope so," you reply, feeling a mix of emotions. "I just want closure."

After paying for the LEGO set and the card, you and Sohee leave Target and decide to get some food together. Sitting in a cozy corner of a small café, you talk about everything and nothing, trying to keep your mind off the upcoming meeting with Sungchan.

"So, are you nervous about tomorrow?" Sohee asks, sipping his coffee.

"A little," you admit, stirring your drink absentmindedly. "But I think it’ll be good for me. I need to understand why he hurt me the way he did."

Sohee nods thoughtfully. "Just remember to stay calm. Don’t let him get under your skin. You’re doing this for you, not for him."

"Yeah," you agree. "Thanks, Sohee. For everything."

"Anytime," he says with a grin. "That’s what friends are for."

You spend the rest of the afternoon chatting and laughing, the heavy weight of your worries lifting slightly with each passing moment. By the time you part ways, you feel a bit more prepared for the conversation with Sungchan.

___

The next day arrives, and you find yourself standing outside the boba shop, clutching the bag with Sungchan’s gift inside. Taking a deep breath, you push open the door and step inside.

Sungchan is already seated at a corner table, looking pensive. When he sees you, he gives a small, hesitant smile. You walk over and sit down across from him, setting the bag on the table.

"Hey," you say softly.

"Hey," he replies, his eyes darting to the bag. "What’s that?"

"It’s a gift," you say, pushing it towards him. "Happy early birthday."

He looks surprised but takes the bag, pulling out the LEGO set. His eyes widen in recognition, and a sad smile forms on his lips. "I remember this. The first one we built together."

"Yeah," you say, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I thought it was a good way to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Sungchan's eyes widen in surprise.

You nod, your expression serious. "What you did those three months ago wasn’t fair, and what you pulled at the party most definitely wasn’t okay. I’m only here to hear you explain yourself so I can move on. Eunseok has been good to me, and he doesn’t deserve me half-assing our relationship."

Sungchan nods, looking down at the table. "I meant what I said at Anton’s. I am sorry for pushing you away."

You shut it down, your voice firm. "I don’t want an apology or any excuses, Sungchan. I want an explanation."

He clears his throat, his voice shaky. "I started crushing on you when we were in high school, but I didn’t say anything because I was scared I would mess things up."

You cut in, your tone sharp. "Oh, so leading me on for years was the better option?"

"No," Sungchan says, shaking his head. "It was cruel, and I should have just been honest, but I didn’t want to lose my best friend. I thought if I told you how I felt and it didn’t work out, I would have lost you for no reason. But if I gave you the hope we could be something, at least you would stick around."

Your heart aches, feeling betrayed. "Was it worth it? Because you’ve lost me anyway."

He looks down, his face full of regret. "No, it wasn’t worth it. I’m sorry."

You shrug off his apology, determined to get to the bottom of things. "And what about Yuri? Why date Yuri if you apparently like me?"

He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought it was time to move on. I didn’t have the guts to be honest after all these years, so why keep leading you on? When you and Eunseok started dating, it made me angry. It took Eunseok a week to do something I’d been dreaming of for years. It’s not right, and I’m not trying to excuse it, but that’s why I did it."

Your anger flares. "You think that justifies anything? You hurt me, Sungchan. You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. And then you have the nerve to act jealous when I finally find someone who cares about me?"

He looks up, his eyes filled with remorse. "I know I was wrong. I was selfish and scared, and I took it out on you. I’m truly sorry."

You shake your head, tears of frustration and betrayal welling up. "I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. But you were just playing me for years."

"No," he protests weakly. "I wasn’t playing you. I cared about you. I still do."

"It doesn’t matter," you say, your voice breaking. "You were never my friend. A real friend wouldn’t have done what you did. And I’m fine with us no longer being in each other’s lives."

Silence falls between you, heavy and suffocating. Sungchan looks like he wants to say something, but you’ve heard enough. You stand up, your heart aching but resolute.

"Goodbye, Sungchan," you say, your voice firm.

He looks up at you, his eyes filled with regret. "Goodbye."

You turn and walk out of the boba shop, your heart pounding in your chest. The weight of the past few months feels heavy on your shoulders, but with each step, you feel a little bit lighter. You know it’ll take time to heal, but you’ve taken the first step towards moving on.

As you walk back to your place, you think about Eunseok and how much he means to you. You know you need to make things right with him, to show him that you’re committed to your relationship.

When you get home, you take a deep breath and pick up your phone, texting Eunseok.

[you]: can we talk? i need to explain everything

His reply is immediate.

[seokie 🪨]: Of course. Come over whenever you’re ready.

You gather your thoughts, feeling a mix of nerves and determination. You know it won’t be easy, but you’re ready to fight for your relationship with Eunseok. You grab your keys and head out the door.

The walk to Eunseok's place is brisk, each step echoing your anxious thoughts. When you arrive, you hesitate for a moment before knocking on his door. He opens it almost immediately, his expression a mix of concern and hope.

"Hey," he says softly, stepping aside to let you in.

"Hey," you reply, trying to muster a smile.

The tension is palpable as you both make your way to the living room, sitting down on opposite ends of the couch.

For a few moments, the silence hangs heavy between you. Finally, you take a deep breath and decide to break it.

“Eunseok, I’m really sorry for how I behaved last night. I was out of line, and I didn’t mean to make you feel like your feelings didn’t matter."

He looks at you, his expression softening slightly, but there’s still a hint of tension in his eyes. "I appreciate that.”

You nod before carefully adding, “…I also met with Sungchan today.”

Eunseok's jaw tightens, and his eyes flash with annoyance, but he stays silent, waiting for you to continue.

"I needed closure," you explain. "I needed to understand why he did what he did. And... I needed to make sure I was fully committed to us."

Eunseok nods slowly, his gaze fixed on you.

"And did you get the closure you needed?"

You nod, feeling the weight of the past few months lifting slightly. "| did. I realized that he was never really my friend. He was just... scared and selfish. And while that hurt, it also made me see things clearly. Eunseok, our relationship means so much to me. I want to make you my priority."

Eunseok's expression softens yet again and he reaches out, taking your hand in his. "I'm sorry too, for how l approached the conversation yesterday. I was just... scared of losing you. I know it's not an excuse, but I should have handled it better."

You squeeze his hand, feeling a surge of relief and affection. "I understand. And I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I promise, from now on, I'll be more open with you. No more secrets."

Eunseok pulls you into a hug, his arms wrapping around you tightly. "I'm just glad we're talking about this. I don't want to lose you either."

You bury your face in his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. "You won't. I promise."

As you hold onto him, you feel a sense of relief wash over you. Eunseok is the one who’s always been there for you, and you’re grateful for that. A small part of you even feels thankful to Sungchan for breaking your heart because everything he didn’t say and do led you to Eunseok.

Pulling back slightly, you look into Eunseok’s eyes, feeling a surge of affection. "I’m really happy you’re my person, Eunseok."

He smiles, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "And I’m happy you’re mine."

In that moment, you know that no matter what challenges come your way, you and Eunseok will face them together. Your past with Sungchan is behind you, and your future with Eunseok looks bright and full of promise.

#riize #riize imagines #song eunseok imagines #eunseok imagines #riize eunseok #eunseok x reader #eunseok #eunseok angst #eunseok fluff #eunseok suggestive #song eunseok #song eunseok fluff #song eunseok angst

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lwtqts · 8 months ago

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for awhile !

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💐: 4 day weekend lets goo😼

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hornychristianprincess · 7 months ago

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EUNSEOK NSFW A-Z

a/n: this is just my personal analysis based off my perception and observations of eunseoks personality. all of this is fiction/fantasy

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Aftercare is the way a cold Eunseok shows his affection. Given that he isn’t the best at articulating how he feels sometimes, it’s through his actions after sex that he shows his love and appreciation for his partner. He asks what you need and gives it to you. The better the sex is, the better the aftercare will be.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, he likes his dick. He has this confident smugness about him that just makes me think he takes pride in his ability to fuck. I’d also imagine that he gets a lot of eager or surprised reactions whenever a partner sees his dick for the first time, which would only add to his cockiness (no pun intended) about himself.

On his partner, he likes a nice chiseled back and shoulder blade area. He’s someone who loves coming up behind his significant other and leaving kisses on their neck and back area. He goes crazy when his partner wears a backless dress that stops just above their waist. There’s also something about a pretty silhouette that does it for him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s not picky about where he comes. In fact, I think he’s a bit spontaneous and lets however he’s feeling in the moment dictate where he chooses to come. I can see him pulling out of you right when he’s about to come and releasing it on your chest or mouth.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

We know that Eunseok earns his nickname Rock because of his cold and sometimes emotionless persona, and I think it’s because of this persona that he’d be afraid to admit he has a total praise kink (receiving). There’s just something about the way he carries himself that makes me think he is a bit egotistic and likes to hear nice things about himself. Being told by his significant other as he’s fucking them that he’s doing so good, or that he’s filling them up so well, would make him come so fast. To that end, I think for the right person he may even find the courage to ask if he could sub for them on some nights.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

His confidence to me suggests experience, but I haven’t learned enough about his pre-debut life to make any strong conclusions.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

I think Eunseok shies away from any position that forces him to look into your eyes. It’s harder for him to say the filthy shit that he says when it’s to your face. I imagine him liking reverse cowgirl or doggy style the most. However, when he does get in those moods where all he wants is to fuck you slow and sensually, he’ll opt for either missionary or fucking you up against something, like a wall or over a table.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He is very goofy during sex, always cracking jokes but not allowing it to break his focus or make the environment any less intense. He has that sort of dry sarcasm that no doubt bleeds into the bedroom. He likes to make deprecating jokes about how desperate you’re acting, how wet you are without him having to touch you, and how insatiable you appear.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Given that I believe Eunseok is partial to his own dick, I think he puts a lot of thought into how it looks. If he’s hairy, it’s a groomed sort of hairy where he controls the exact length. When it comes to his partner, I think Eunseok can be a little immature in that he looks at a hairy pussy as a sign of you letting go of yourself. He likes to know that his partner is putting in the effort to make themselves look good for him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Intimacy does not come naturally to him. I think he generally likes to keep things light and fun. Sex is the one time where he feels like he shouldn’t have to bare his emotions. Still, he is fully capable of intimacy and has his moments where all he wants is to fuck you slow and deep, saying all kinds of romantic shit in your ear in the process. I see him doing this during jealous or post-argument sex. It’s his way of communicating his complex feelings to you in a way he can’t so easily do with just words. In a way, intimacy is something he doles out almost as a punishment or a warning to his partner, letting them know that his regular joking nature is a privilege to experience.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I see him as someone who jacks off pretty often. He knows his own body well and has memorized exactly what to do to get himself off and be satisfied each time. I think he’s a little disgusted by most porn though, and prefers to masturbate to images or videos that he’s saved of his partner.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Degradation (giving): I’ve already alluded to him having a big ego, and there is no better ego trip than to see his partner lose all of their composure in their effort to fuck him. Just the thought that someone would want him so bad that they’d beg for him is a turn on. He’s very quick to point all of these things out verbally, teasing you for your desperation. And the fact that you’d be turned on by him saying mean things about you only adds to the pleasure for him.

Orgasm Denial/Edging: Eunseok has some exemplary self-control and would have no problem dragging out the sex for hours if it meant he could watch you squirm and writhe as you beg for him to let you come. The power of being able to wave your orgasm in your face like a piece of candy is alluring to him. He’ll wait to the point of pitying you before he gives you what you want.

Lingerie/Lace Kink: Eunseok likes the idea of a partner putting lots of effort into looking good for him. Coming home to his partner freshly showered, smelling good, and wearing the prettiest lingerie would be a dream come true. He’d want you keep your lingerie on as he fucks you, something about the juxtaposition of you wearing something so delicate while getting absolutely ruined. And the feeling of lace against his skin, or even better, his cock as he pushes your panties to the side and pushes in and out of you, is awesome. Could also see him masturbating with a pair of your lace panties while you’re away.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Eunseok has his daily life persona and his sexual persona, two entities which he likes to keep completely separate. With that said, I think he likes fucking in places that don’t remind him of the former. Trying to say the filthy shit he says while in his dorm or family home would be too awkward for him to combat. He’d hate to be reminded of just how dirty he got when having to return to these places later. He’s just not able to get into it if the environment has some other meaning to him.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Eunseok is turned on by his significant other wearing clothes that give peeks at their body but don’t reveal too much, like a dress with a slit or a draped dip at the front that shows just the tiniest hint of cleavage. He’s turned on at the thought of his partner getting ready for him to come home, preparing themselves by putting on the nicest perfume and clothes. He’s turned on by someone who is responsive to him and his teasing, someone whose pride isn’t too big to stop them from being teased. He’s attracted to someone who is comfortable letting him lead. He never wants to feel like he’s judged or as if he has to explain why he likes what he likes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s turned off by someone who doesn’t view sex as a spectacle in the same way he does. He never wants to get to the point in a relationship where you become so complacent that sex just becomes rolling over in bed whenever you’re bored. He wants his partner to always view sex from him as a privilege and act according. He wants a partner to always have the same giddiness and excitement at the thought of seeing him. Apathy is a no no for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves loves loves loves messy, wet head. On nights where his first desire is to be inside of you, he’ll have to stop you from giving him head back he knows it will make him come embarrassingly quickly. His favorite way to receive head is in the morning, when he’s sleep and gets woken up by an orgasm.

I think Eunseok mostly sees giving head as a means to get you ready to take his dick. His preference is to finger you while using his mouth to say all kinds of filthy shit to you. He’s a major tease so expect your orgasm to be snatched away by him several times. He’s very dominant when giving head, giving you directions to look at him the whole time that if disobeyed will cause him to stop completely. He also likes pinning your wrists down on the bed, preventing you from trying to direct him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Eunseok likes to fuck rough – deep, hard thrusts are what he likes the most. In terms of speed, he’ll alternate depending on how close you are to coming.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

I think Eunseok prefers having a bit of lead time before the sex to get himself in the right headspace. Spontaneous sex is fun, but as I alluded to in previous answers, the idea of sex being just something you do and not a memorable act is dismaying for him. He also doesn’t want to have to rush, either. Still, if you were to offer to give him a quick blowjob before going out somewhere, he’s not gonna say no.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I think Eunseok has a hard time getting into the mood if he feels like there’s a chance of getting caught. In terms of experimenting though, I think Eunseok is always game to try out new kinks so long as he’s established a non-judgemental and safe environment with his partner.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Outside of situations in which you’re giving him head, Eunseok knows how to last for a loooong time. His self-control allows him to slow down or stop altogether when he feels like he’s about to come. Once he’s came though, he’s usually down for the count.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Eunseok is down to use toys on his partner but I don’t see it as being a regular thing in his sex life. I think he prefers to have you feeling good because of him and not because of an external object. He would only want toys used on himself in situations where he and his partner had a prior agreement about him subbing and he's had time to prepare himself mentally. Otherwise he wouldn’t want to relinquish control in that way.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

As I’ve already established, Eunseok is a major tease. Whether it’s through his words or his actions, he’s gonna make you have to beg for that orgasm.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is a straight up yapper during sex. At some points it will feel like he’s more so making observations to himself than even talking to you. All he does is growl about how wet you are for him, how you’re such a desperate slut for his cock, how your pussy is so greedy with the way it’s sucking him in. Outside of talking, he makes a lot of deep grunts and groans. All in all, this guy is pretty loud and not ashamed of it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I can imagine you and Eunseok coming back from some kind of formal event. Both of you were turned on by seeing the other dressed up, but Eunseok, being the composed person he is, didn’t let you know so easily. You, on the other hand, only needed a few complimentary drinks in you before you were all over him, begging him to take you home and fuck you. All he did was chuckle at your advances, scolding you yet deep down feeling just as turned on as you were as he watched you grow more and more restless. “You’re such a dirty, filthy little girl, aren’t you?” he tsks into your ear, his voice deep and chilling in a way that let you feel the impact his words ripple through your spine. “We’re in a room full of my colleagues and all you can think about is fucking me.”

When you finally got home, you were stumbling through the door of your shared apartment, hands all over each other as your lips connected in a passionate kiss. He would try to tease you, hand reaching between your legs to touch you through your panties, but you’d push at his wrist. “Can’t wait anymore, Eunseok. Need you to fuck me.”

He’d chuckle at your eagerness but nonetheless begin pulling at his belt. “That desperate for it, are you?”

You’d nod your head shamelessly, already working on removing your dress from your body. “Don’t act like you’re not just as eager to fuck me as I am to feel you inside of me.”

He shrugs his shoulders at that, rubbing the silk material of his dress between your fingers as he moves to bend you over your kitchen table. “Can’t argue with that. You look so fucking sexy. Wanna fill you up with my cum.”

When he fucks you, it’s hard and rough, each thrust sending you up the table. He’d smack your ass and pull your hair and rub your clit until you were screaming for him, and then, right when you began to clench around him, he’d pull out of you and switch positions so that you were on your back.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad at me,” he’d joke as he observes the pained expression on your face at having your orgasm ripped away from you. Kissing you on the lips in apology, he’d push back into you and growl, “We’re not done until I have you crying over how good I’m fucking you.”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He just radiates big dick energy to me. I think he’s at the very least girthy.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Like I’ve already alluded to, his discipline is strong and therefore I think he could go a long time without fucking. He relies on his partner to initiate sex and goes along with whatever their sex drive is.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once he’s done with aftercare, I think he still likes to stay awake and just talk or scroll on his phone for a few hours. Having sex almost gives him a boost in energy. He’ll fall asleep whenever it feels right.

#riize smut #eunseok smut #riize eunseok smut #kpop smut #eunseok fluff #riize fluff #eunseok angst #riize angst #riize fics

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x0llaz · 6 months ago

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Lover’s Rock 🎸 | S.ES |

Song eunseok x reader

WC: 2563

In which eunseok shows up at YN’s house, drunk out of his mind.

Exes to lovers, alcohol consumption, cursing, mentions of hookups, fluffy angst, you will hate the ending but you will also get part 2

Eunseok was drunk. Out of his mind drunk. He was so out of his mind he just started walking, aimless in his path, no real idea of where to go. He left his friends twenty minutes before, saying he wanted some air. Yet so much later, he was still gone. He had no rhyme or reason for leaving, no plan of where he would end up. But He kept walking, even as people watched him stumble, and his vision felt blurry.

He always felt at ease at parties. Surrounded by friends, pretty girls, and more drinks than he would care to consume. It was easy to unwind. Sneaking off with friends to the backyard, kissing girls in bathrooms, it was all part of the routine. So why did he leave? Why was this party so different?

The music was loud, people danced around him, pushing against everyone else as if they weren’t there. He had been talking to a girl, who had whispered in his ear something he didn’t care to remember. His friends were all tipsy, each with their nth cup of beer. But he had this feeling inside him he couldn’t shake. Something was missing. As he stumbled through the crowd, he felt this gaping sensation, so much emptier than he had before.

The music was too loud. People pushing him made him feel like he would throw up. His friends were too tipsy to have a coherent conversation. The beer tasted like shit the more he drank it, sickeningly sweet on his tongue. Probably worst of all,

No girl at the party was her.

It was a thought that had never crossed his mind. A thought that scared him. Because it had been two months, why was he still thinking about her? Why now, why this party, did it make him feel sick?

It hit him like a truck, realizing that no girl he hooked up with would ever compare to the girl he had grown soft for. He realized that she wouldn’t be there waiting for him to come back with drinks. She wouldn’t dance with him, or steal drinks of his beer. She wouldn’t kiss him in the bathroom, or tease him for being all over her. She was gone.

The thoughts clouded his mind, and instead of pushing through and blacking out with his friends, he left to “get some air”.

Their breakup had never felt like this before. Sure, there was the initial loneliness after they ended things, but he had never felt so desperate for her than he did in this moment.

So he walked. And walked. No plan on where he would go. Should he go home? To another friend’s house? To a park? Where could he go that would give him peace of mind?

He didn’t know. He just kept walking.

He didn’t know how, he didn’t know why, but when he found his way to her apartment building,

It just felt right.

YN Had managed to move on smoothly. She spent her days focusing on herself, and avoiding thoughts of Eunseok. It helped, and eventually she felt okay with what happened. Despite the days of crying, the days she felt like she couldn’t get out of bed after Eunseok broke up with her, she was moving on. And she could only assume he did the same.

She was sitting on her bed, texting some friends that night. She had been invited to a party that she declined to attend, opting instead to go out to eat. Part of her longed for the nights she used to go out, but going to such events felt so attached to Eunseok that she couldn’t bring herself to go to them anymore. She liked to pretend that she had completely moved on from what happened between them, but she decided to stop lying to herself, and move on knowing the truth.

It was late, so late, she expected no visitors. She was looking forward to staying up late, maybe binging a show, or baking cookies way later than she should be up. So when she heard a knock on her door, she felt confused as to who would show up that late.

When she opened the door, after hearing a few more knocks, some louder, some quiet, sporadic knocks, she froze. Of all the people she was expecting, it certainly wasn’t Song Eunseok.

“What are you doing here?” YN asked, furrowing her brows and crossing her arms.

“Hi,” Eunseok gave her a lazy smile, leaning against the doorframe. “I wanted to see you,” he laughed at himself.

YN could tell something was off. “Why?” she asked skeptically.

Eunseok put his hands in his pockets and shrugged, expression exaggerated and comical. “I dunno,” he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

It clicked. “Are you fucking drunk?” She asked in disbelief.

“Maybe,” He shrugged. “I had a few drinks,” he laughed at his words, leaning towards YN with a smile.

“So you’re drunk,” she shook her head. “And you came to my apartment… why?” she asked. She didn’t want Eunseok there. Though he spent plenty of time in her home, she had spent enough time trying to erase him from the living situation. She redecorated, rearranged furniture, wanting his memory gone from her space.

Eunseok took a step past her doorframe, wobbling lightly, causing YN to reach out and grab him to keep him up. He looked down at her, eyes wide, expression almost unreadable. She didn’t want to let him in, but she knew she’d rather him be safe than somewhere he could get hurt. She pulled him in further, closing the door behind them, as eunseok kept gazing down at her.

YN met his gaze, displeasure clear in her eyes. “Why are you here?” She asked again.

When he took a step towards her, she froze. When he dropped his head to rest against her shoulder, her eyes widened. His hands just held her arms.

“I miss you,”

As he spoke, YN felt like she couldn’t speak.

She stood there frozen, not knowing how to respond, not knowing what to do. All she knew was that this was wrong, that him being drunk changed nothing about where their relationship stood.

She pulled away, and placed her hands on his shoulders, creating a gap of space between them. When he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm, she knew she needed to hurry things along.

“You should get some sleep,”

YN hadn’t expected the breakup.

It quite literally, came out of nowhere. There were no fights, no cause for concern in their relationship. Nothing. Just what she thought was a caring relationship.

So when Eunseok asked to breakup, it felt like there was something more that YN didn’t quite know about.

“Why?” she asked.

The way Eunseok shrugged casually bothered her. It was like he didn’t care enough to know why he wanted to break up. “We’re just… too different?” it sounded like a question more than a definite answer.

Sure, they had their differences. He liked going out more, she liked staying home some weekends. He liked big groups of people, she preferred small gatherings. Nothing huge, nothing that could ruin a relationship, and nothing that YN didn’t try to adapt to, to bridge any gap between them.

“I don’t… I don’t understand,” YN looked down.

“I just need someone who can match my lifestyle.”

“You don’t think we should’ve talked about this beforehand?” She asked.

“I didn’t think you’d really get it-”

“Why wouldn’t I get it? I’ve adapted to fit more into your lifestyle, I just can’t be that all the time!”

“And that’s fine! It’s just a little-” he paused. There were so many words he could’ve chosen to describe how he felt about their relationship. “Boring.”

A beat of silence.

“So you’re saying I’m too Boring for you?” She asked.

Eunseok shrugged the same casual shrug. “I guess,”

YN shook her head, picking up her jacket from the couch. “You’re unbelievable,” She said as she walked out of his apartment, dropping her keyring on his counter, not even bothering to look back or say goodbye. There were no tears shed, no harsh words said back to him, she didn’t throw anything he had done back in his face. She just left.

Somehow, when she was gone, it only made him feel worse.

The next party Eunseok went to, he drank too much, claiming it was for his newfound bachelor status. His first time being single in five months, this was something to celebrate. But when he got back home, he realized he was just alone in his apartment. YN wasn’t waiting on the couch for him to get back. She wasn’t there to help his hangover, or kiss him goodnight when he refused to let go of her.

She wasn’t there.

Good.

That’s what he wanted.

Whatever.

YN stood in her kitchen as Eunseok slouched on her couch, thinking to herself about what she should do from here. She should kick him out- it’s what he deserved after what happened between them. He could find someone else to take care of him now.

But she knew that she wouldn’t have the strength to. Regardless of how upset she was, she wouldn’t leave him on his own while he clearly couldn’t be alone. So she sucked it up, walking out of the kitchen with a glass of water and ibuprofen for him to take. She set it on the coffee table in front of him, and walked to the lounge chair across from him. Eunseok just stared at her longingly, expecting her to come back and wrap her arms around him. He took a drink of water and swallowed down the pill, going back to looking at her with wide eyes.

“I was’at a party,” He slurred.

“I can tell,” YN leaned back against her seat.

“I drank too much,”

“I know,”

“I wanted t’see you,” He mumbled, leaning his head back against the cushions.

“Okay,” YN sighed, looking down at her lap.

“Do you miss me?” He asked, looking up with wide eyes.

YN sighed. “We broke up a while ago,” she shook her head.

“Yeah but… do you miss me?” he asked again. “I miss you,” He said once more. She didn’t respond. “I was with some other girls,” he added, drunkenly thinking he could make her jealous.

“I don’t care,” YN scoffed. She did care, but she didn’t want him to know. “Your drunken activities are none of my business anymore,”

Eunseok frowned. “Do you have a new boyfriend?” He asked.

YN didn’t know why, but she shook her head no. She saw the way a lazy smile crept onto his face. “You should sleep,” She said.

“M’not tired,” He groaned, eyes closing as he sighed.

“Well it’s late, and I want to sleep,” She dragged Eunseok up by his arm. “Sleep in the bed,” She pushed him towards her bedroom. Even if she didn’t particularly like him, she wanted him to be comfortable.

Eunseok stumbled to her bed with her help. YN followed and tidied a few things in the room. She left and came back in with a cup of water. “Drink this before you fall asleep.” she insisted. Eunseok chugged it down in one go. YN turned off the lamp by her bed, and headed for the door when she felt his hand grab her wrist.

She looked down to see him gazing up at her, almost pleadingly.

“Stay with me?” He asked, a bit pathetically.

“Eunseok,” She tried to loosen his grip, but he only held her tighter.

“Please,” he begged.

“We aren’t together,” She reminded him. “You’ll regret it in the morning,”

“No I won’t,” He sighed, pulling her to sit on the bed. “I won’t sleep unless you stay,” He pouted and YN rolled her eyes.

She debated with herself. She couldn’t deny the feelings that remained after their breakup, or the soft spot she had for him. So she stayed seated on the bed, and let his hand that held her wrist intertwine with her own hand. She didn’t look at him, only at the blankets on her bed, trying to stay strong against him.

Eunseok pulled her down next to him, and before she could protest, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close to his body. He breathed her in, sighing as he pressed his forehead to the crown of her head.

“I miss you,” He whispered. “So much,” his breath sounded heavy. “I’m sorry,” she felt his lips brush her hair. “For the way I ended things, for not being a better boyfriend i-” he took in a breath. “I miss you. I miss you everyday, every moment, I miss you.”

YN wiggled away from him, looking up at him. She was at war with her head and her heart. She knew she should wait until he fell asleep and laugh as he did the walk of shame out of her apartment in the morning. But her heart- in her heart she couldn’t deny how much she wanted him to mean those words. How much she missed him too, how much this moment would mean to her if he was sober.

“I want you back,” He whispered, looking down at her. “I’ll do anything,”

YN knew the smart thing to do was wait. Wait for the morning so they could talk things out in a way that was good for both of them.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” she whispered, bringing her hand up to brush his hair back. Eunseok just leaned into the touch.

There was silence, eunseok’s eyes growing tired as he looked at her. And after a moment, he leaned towards her and pressed a kiss to her lips. A sweet, soft kiss. Like the ones they’d share when they were together, the ones that secretly made his heart pound.

YN pulled away after a moment, and when Eunseok tried leaning back in, she pulled back more. Because regardless of how much she wanted to kiss him again, he was drunk. And she didn’t want to just be something he regretted in the morning.

“Get some sleep,” she whispered.

Eunseok eventually fell asleep, holding YN close, never wanting to let her go.

Eunseok woke up early, sitting up as his eyes blinked into focus. After a moment, he realized he wasn’t in his room. And after another moment, he realized he was in YN’s room. Her figure was turned away from him, and he gently removed his arm, and carefully got out of bed.

He remembered nothing, other than getting absurdly drunk. And somehow that ended up with him in his ex-girlfriend's apartment, cuddling her. Whatever happened while he was drunk, would be just that. Something that happened while he was drunk.

He looked back at her sleeping figure, and hesitated for a moment. She looked so peaceful. He shook himself back to reality, and crept out of her room. He fixed his hair, and smoothed out his shirt, telling himself to just move on, keep his head held high.

And so he did.

He walked out the door, not looking back, not saying goodbye or anything. Just walking away. It was what he did everytime, it was his routine. Walk out before things get messy.

Just like any other drunken mistake.

Haiiiii this has been in my drafts for a month or two now and I really wanted to post smth today while I work more on my smau :3

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squoxle · 8 months ago

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˚₊‧꒰ა All Good Girls Burn In Hell ♡ S.Eunseok ff ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

💠pairing: Eunseok x Reader!afab | 💠wc: 7.1k | 💠cw: profanity, religious themes, drug use, abuse, coercion, protected and unprotected sex | 💠plot: Your tired of being mommy’s little girl so you sneak out to a college party with the Devil’s Advocate…

With the pressure of being the perfect daughter weighing on your shoulders, the last thing you needed right now was a boy. Especially not when that boy was Song Eunseok He was everything you weren’t and the complete opposite of what your parents believed in. Rule Breaker. Trouble Maker. Bad Boy.

His beauty... charmed you like a snake, entrapping you in his comforting grasp before crushing the life out of you.

His words... were like the devil’s music, enchanting you with his lovely tune as he led you down a path of darkness.

And his eyes... God his eyes were the most delicate yet aggressive feature of his face. Boldly standing out with a gentle aura surrounding them.

He was the perfect temptation. Sent by Satan himself to draw you away from purity and righteousness.

And you were the perfect target. You were weak and he could tell, which is what made corrupting you that much easier.

Your home life was just about as chaotic as you'd expect an extremely religious family to be.

“Honor thy father and thy mother, for this is the first commandment with promise,” she would say this whenever you did anything remotely ‘disrespectful’ in her eyes. “Don’t you want to live a long and happy life?”

Sometimes her words felt like vain repetition or taunts echoing through your head, as her method of reprimanding you often came in the form of lectures.

The neurotic controlling nature of your mother could only be tamed by one thing—aside from the public eye—and that one thing was…your father.

Unfortunately he was no longer around and your mother often blamed you for his absence.

Your mother taught you that a wife should submit to her husband for he is the head of the family and you--as his wife--are to be his helpmate.

Though that sounds fair, for the most part, Mom had a much harsher way of embedding what she believed into the lives of her children. Especially her daughters.

After your rebellious older sister ran off 4 years ago with her motorcycle-riding girlfriend, all hell broke loose at home. You had now been promoted to the oldest of the siblings and were therefore subject to physical pain on top of everything else. It felt like you permanently resided within the confines of a chapel, which often felt more like a prison than a home.

You’d had enough of this torture. You needed a break away from the unreasonably structured environment. Just for once, you wanted to feel like you were the one pulling the strings.

Never did you expect to hand your strings over to a new puppet master.

To keep things brief, you'd met Eunseok through your best friend Faith. Ironically, she was a girl you met at Sunday school in 9th grade who definitely wasn’t the perfect little angel people thought she was.

One time her dad almost caught her smoking outside. The way she launched that bud halfway across the street before sticking a sucker in her mouth was insane. Another time you could remember her telling you the story of how she snuck a boy into her room to have sex while her parents were sleeping…well the boy was her boyfriend, but still.

She had a wild side that you found alluring. Which made you wonder if you had a one too, well one apart from the scenarios you enacted in your imagination.

As a freshman in college, you were ready to try to relax a little.

"Or maybe not," you thought to yourself as you woke up to the sound of religious music playing from the kitchen. Your mother did this nearly every morning at the exact same time, almost like clockwork.

You could smell the coffee brewing, coupled with the scent of bread toasting. You knew you could only roll around in bed for a few more minutes before it was time to get up. Not only did you still have a bedtime, but you also had a specific time to wake up. No later than 8 o'clock were you expected to be out of your pajamas and have your bed made.

"Nothing comes to a man in his sleep, but dreams," another saying your mother loved repeating.

You lived in a house with two younger twin brothers and shared a room with your big sister. Though, now that she was gone, dust bunnies were the only thing sleeping in her bed.

One thing you had to learn was to be the first one in the bathroom. Sometimes you'd get up earlier to avoid the chaotic morning bustle.

After getting dressed you grabbed an apple for breakfast and waited for your mom to drop you off for your first day of uni. Luckily, you and Faith were going to the same university, so that eliminated the anxiety that came with being completely alone on a huge campus for the next four years of your life.

Unfortunately, loneliness, like most of your other personal problems, was none of your mother's concern. "Read and pray," she'd tell you. "The Lord will comfort you."

As this was your first semester in college, you decided to knock out a good chunk of your core classes, English, Math, History, and Politics.

After 3 hours that felt more like a lifetime, your first lecture had finally ended. By now hungry didn't compare to what you were experiencing right now. Unfortunately, you forgot to bring your wallet which meant that water would have to fill you up for now.

“I can already tell this semester is going suck ass. And the next 16 weeks of my life or going to be a nightmare from hell,” Faith sighed as she dropped her backpack on the ground beside her.

You had met up with her outside at one of the round red tables that were scattered across the open green field.

"Oh, come on you can’t say that. It’s only the first day, give it about a week or so, and then see if you still feel the same way," you said trying to encourage her to look on the bright side.

"No, you don’t get it. This guy hates me, like literally hates me. You should've seen the way he looked at me," she sighed. "God, he was such a fucking scumbag."

"Who?"

"My stupid fucking sociology professor. He started nagging about some bullshit and I called him out for it," she rolled her eyes before pulling out a box of cigarettes. "Want one?"

"No, thanks," you held your hand up. "Wait this is a no-smoking zone," you said as Faith lit the end.

"Shit, my bad," she shrugged before picking up her bag and walking off. "You're coming, aren't you? You're not just gonna tell me I can't smoke here and expect me to go off by myself," she held the cigarette between her two fingers.

"No, sorry, I'm coming," you stuttered.

"You better."

You followed your blue-eyed friend to a brick wall that was high enough that when you sat on it your feet couldn't touch the ground.

"So I guess we found our secret place," Faith smiled. "A sweet escape from the terrors of uni and their stupid, boring bullshit," she puffed.

You and Faith often found little areas that you claimed as your own. This was just another spot to add to your map of many discrete destinations.

"Woah, what the hell was that?" Faith looked as your stomach growled uncomfortably loud.

"All I had was an apple this morning and I'm starving," you sighed before cracking open your water bottle to take a sip.

"Well, that water isn't gonna do shit for ya. Let's go grab you something to eat," she hopped off the wall before putting her cigarette out on a rock.

"I can't...I forgot my wallet at home and my mom is already on her way here," you sighed before joining her on the ground.

"So what? I have money. Besides, it's not like she's gonna kill you for grabbing something to eat," Faith slung her bag over her shoulder. "I'm kinda hungry myself."

You’d be lying if you said you didn't have a slight gut feeling that your mom would be upset about this. But maybe Faith was right. There's no way your mom would get mad at you for eating...right?

After splitting a sandwich you headed to the front of the school to find your mom parked in a handicap spot. You waved to Faith as you walked over to the passenger side of the vehicle.

"So, how was your first day of college?" your mom asked as you buckled your seatbelt.

"It was good," you nodded as your mom pulled down the sun visor to reapply her Cherry Blossom Bliss tinted lipgloss. "How was your day?" you asked as you placed your bag on the floor between your legs as you looked out of the window.

"Good," she said plainly as she closed the car mirror and closed her gloss before tucking it away in her clutch bag.

You drove around a bit in silence before you heard the sound of her coin-filled bag swinging through the air. Hitting you in the mouth. Strangely enough, you heard the soft jingle before you actually felt the pain.

"Don't ever keep me waiting like that again. When I come here to pick you up you need to be ready," your mother said as you turned to her in shock, covering your mouth that was now decorated with a sliver of blood that seeped through the crack of your lower lip.

"But, I--" Your attempt to explain yourself was cut off by the stinging pain from your head as your mother dug her nails into your scalp.

"Are you talking back? Don't talk back to me you fucking brat," she spat. At this point, you knew that saying or doing anything else was just going to trigger her to spiral so you wiped the tear from your eye, attempted to fix your hair, and sat back in silence until you made it home.

It was moments like this that you wanted someone to vent to. But what good would that do? Even if you told Faith about this nothing would change. This was your life and the only smart thing you could do was learn from your mistakes.

Don't be late.

Don't talk back.

The next couple of weeks were like the first minus getting attacked for being late. You went to class, you did your homework, and you hung out with Faith. Today, your class had ended early since it was almost spring break and you took this as an opportunity to spend more time with Faith before your mom came to pick you up.

But today was a day to mark on your calendar as the beginning of your ending...

“Hey, Faith,” you said shyly as you noticed the two boys that sat with her. One of them being none other than Eunseok.

She waved to you tapping a spot beside her for you to sit. “Hey girl, we were just talking about going to one of the fraternity houses this weekend for a little get-together,” she smiled mischievously. "What d'you say? Wanna join us for some life-changing fun?"

You knew that look, and nothing good ever came from that. You’d been invited to gatherings like this before and always declined. You never regretted your decision either, especially when she’d tell you about all of the horrible things that happened. Faith never saw the stories how you did, they all sounded like exciting retellings of the glorious moments you missed out on.

"No that's alright," you chuckled as she glared at you with her big blue puppy dog eyes.

"Pleeeeeease," she whined, pouting her lips and squeezing your thigh.

"No, Faith," you giggled. "You're just gonna run off and leave me all by myself."

"I'll be there," Eunseok smirked. "In case she does abandon you," he sat on the opposite side of you placing his arm behind you.

"I-uhh," you stammered.

"Cool it big boy, she's not into that kind of stuff," Faith budded.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know she was gay," Eunseok said, slightly backing away.

"Oh no. I'm not gay," you spat.

"Okay then, lesbian? Bisexual?"

"No, I'm straight. I just don't like boys," you were doing an awful job at pleading your case and you could see Faith holding in her laughter as she watched the awkward interaction between you two.

"How the hell are you straight, but you don't like boys? That makes no fucking sense."

"No. Wait. I like boys, but I'm not allowed to date."

"Who said anything about dating," he chuckled. "Are you already trying to claim me?"

"I never said that. I mean. Ugh, nevermind," you sighed.

"Relax, I'm just joking. Faith already told me about preserving your purity."

"Yep, I sure did. So you don't have to worry about him trying to lead you astray," Faith smiled.

"Eh hmm," the other boy cleared his throat.

"Oh, right. I forgot. This is Theo. I met him a year ago at a party and we've been friends ever since," Faith said as the boy waved.

"You got me over here feeling like an outcast," he smirked.

"Well, she barely knows that goofball, Eunseok. I think this was the first conversation they ever had." Their conversation faded in the background as you dug deep into your mind only to realize that this was your first time actually speaking to Eunseok.

You were much younger when you first met and you've always been one to keep to yourself. Plus, your sister had just left and life at home wasn't so great. So there wasn't much to talk about.

"So, you're coming right?"

"Huh?"

"The party this weekend...you're coming right?" Faith asked again.

"I don't think so. Sorry," you replied.

"Hmm...well I'm not gonna force you. Maybe next time," she said patting your shoulder. "Oh shit," she sighed as you noticed your mom walking over to you.

"I've been waiting in the car for over an hour now and you're out here goofing off with boys?"

"Mom, it's not like that I was just--"

"I don't wanna hear it. Go get in the car. Right now. We're going home," your mom looked everything but happy right now. She must've known you got out early and had been waiting for you all this time. Scared didn't begin to describe what you were feeling right now.

To your surprise, the entire ride was silent. Even when you made it home, pure silence. You went upstairs to take a shower before going to your room to study.

As you were going through your drawers to pick out an outfit, a head-spinning blow knocked you to the ground. Your mother's angry face hovered over you as she raised her hand to hit you again.

"You attention-seeking slut," she sneered. "You're just like your whoring sister," she hummed before grabbing your hair and dragging you to the middle of your room.

"I didn't do anything! I swear," you whined. "We were just talking!"

"First you'll have boys kissing and touching all over you. And the next thing you know, you'll be with a girl too. You'll be confused and broken. Just like your sister," your mother's eyes pierced through your soul like fiery daggers as she continued to berate you.

"I wish you had been born a boy like your brothers. I'd rather have a house full of men than one filled with whores in training," her words lingered in the air as she walked over to your bedroom door. "Sometimes, I wish your sister would've taken you with her."

Every word you thought of saying was caught in your throat. You were being choked by an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and disparity. This was a common pattern whenever your mom would get violent.

Senseless slut shaming and misjudgment of your character coupled with the clawing sensation of her nails digging into your scalp was too much.

Dragging your hand across your face, you wiped the tears from your cheeks as you curled up into a ball on the floor. The sound of the ceiling fan clinking blended with the ticking of the clock that hung on your wall. You ended up falling asleep on the floor with your knees to your chest.

If not for the lamp on your desk, you'd be in complete darkness.

The next morning you woke up earlier than you normally would. This gave you a chance to shower before going to school.

The water ran down your body as you thought back to what happened last night. You turned your back to the pouring water but flinched as you were met with a stinging pain. You looked over your shoulder to see small scratches on your back--likely from being dragged across the carpet floor.

You searched under the bathroom cabinet for something to clean the wound with. Nothing but a bottle of toner stared back at you.

"Well there's alcohol in it," you mumbled to yourself as you poured the liquid on a cotton ball. You dabbed every spot within your reach before throwing your clothes on.

"You alright?" Eunseok asked. His voice caught you off guard as you drifted off into your thoughts. Faith had walked off for a smoke break with Theo, leaving you behind with the dark-eyed boy.

"Yeah," you smiled feignly.

His energy was different than it had been before. Maybe it was because he saw how your mom behaved when she saw you guys talking.

"You sure? Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like shit," he said tilting his head to meet your eyes.

"There's just a lot on my mind right now," you sighed.

"Wanna talk about it? I'm a pretty good listener."

"No, I'm okay. It's not like that'll do anything anyway," you sniffed. Crying was the one thing you'd never do in public. And you'd rather struggle on your own than bring other people into your personal business for no reason.

"Alright, fine. Well then how about we not talk about it together this weekend."

"I can't go to that party. My mom would kill me."

"Well, you look like you're halfway in the grave already. You could use a bit of excitement in your life."

"But I've never...I can't..."

"You're an adult. You can't let your mom dictate your life forever," you were quiet before he continued. "I'm sure you can just ask your dad, right?"

"Yeah, that would probably work if he was still around."

"Oh...sorry I didn't know."

"It's fine. He's not dead, but he might as well be. I'm sure my mom would be happier if he was."

"If you don't me asking...what happened anyway?"

"Well, basically he left us because my mom is literally insane. They would always fight. And one night he came into our bedroom and slid a note under our pillow," you thought back to the feeling of him placing a kiss on your forehead as you laid there pretending to be asleep. You watched as he wiped the tears from his face. To this day you regret not saying anything. Not doing anything.

"That was the last time you saw him?"

"Yeah..."

"You're going to that party," Eunseok whispered before placing his hand on top of yours.

"How?"

"I'll sneak you out on Saturday night," He said pulling out his phone. "What's your number?"

You looked down at your hands as you shamefully replied. "Even if I give you my phone number, my mom takes it at night time..."

"Damn. Well, I'll just give you my old phone. I barely use it now so I won't be looking for it," he said reaching into his bag. He pulled out the smaller black phone which was protected by a bulky plastic case. "It's a dinosaur, but it still works," he chuckled.

"Are you sure? What if I get caught?"

"Relax, you won't. You just have to keep it hidden until tomorrow night. After that, you're in the clear," he smiled.

"Okay, but if I get in trouble it's all you're fault and I'll probably never forgive you," you said as you took the phone from his hands.

Maybe a night out would do you good...

To be completely honest, it didn't take much convincing to get you on board. He was attractive as hell and as much as you hated it, he definitely had an effect on you.

"Deal," he chuckled as he watched you slip the phone into your bag.

"What are you losers yapping about?" Faith grinned as she skipped back over to you and Eunseok.

"Uh--"

"I was just helping our little friend plan her escape," Eunseok said, cutting you off as he pulled you in for a side hug. "Isn't that right?"

You nodded as Theo clapped his hands together. "Awesome! Another innocent soul to claim for Satan," he words sent chills up your spine as you thought back to what happened the night before.

"Hey? You alright?" Faith asked as your face went blank.

"Yeah...I was just umm...I was just thinking about some stuff," you replied, trying your best to play it off. "Shoot!" you spat.

"What?" Faith asked.

"My mom is on her way. I gotta go," You snatched your bag up and began walking off.

"Oh...but--"

"Sorry, I don't wanna get in trouble again," you continued as you drifted back into your thoughts.

"Hey," you felt a large hand palm your shoulder. You whipped around to see Eunseok standing in front of you. "If you ever need someone to talk to, remember that I'm here for you," you nodded as his hands slid down your arms to your hands.

A warm feeling rushed to your face as all of your previous worries melted away. It was like he was the first person to take your mind off of everything negative in your life. He was like a drug and you were afraid to get addicted.

You both stared at each other for a bit before he pulled you in for a hug. "I'll be over to break you out tomorrow night. Don't forget, okay?" His voice sounded even more soothing when he held you close. The gentle vibrations from his throat were just about as relaxing as soaking in a hot tub.

You hummed in response before walking off to join your mom in the car.

11:24pm tomorrow night...

You quietly tiptoed through the darkness of your bedroom to your dresser. You pulled out the bottom drawer to grab Eunseok's phone from its hidden place.

Feelings of guilt, fear, and anxiety tugged at your heart as you thought back to the moment between you and your mom in the car the day before.

"I'm really sorry for how I reacted the other day..." your mom bit her lip as she gripped the steering wheel. "It's just that I'm afraid to lose you the way I lost your sister..."

You could feel the genuine pain and regret in her tone as she poured out to you.

"I don't want you to make terrible mistakes that you'll regret in the future. And sometimes...exploding is the only way I know how to fix it. That's how my parents were with me."

This was no excuse for her actions, but this did make you feel a sense of pity for her. It was almost enough to make you cancel. But you needed this more than anything else right now.

You just wanted a small taste of what else life had to offer you...

Anything was better than spending all of your free time in this hellhole.

You powered the phone on to text Eunseok.

"She's sleep. You can come pick me up whenever." you sighed as you waited anxiously for him to text back.

"Alright, princess. Your knight in shining armor is on the way to rescue you from the evil dragon." Reading his text made you giggle a bit as you struggled to find anything remotely skimpy to wear. Nothing but an old baby blue dress from your sister hung idly in the back of your closet.

You quickly hopped into the dress and slipped into a pair of silver heels.

*Tap. Tap. Tap*

The tapping sound from the window nearly made you jump out of your skin. The moonlight dimly lit your features as you turned to see Eunseok's face behind the glass. You tapped your finger against your lips, signalling him to stop.

You opened the window and stuck out your first leg to climb out. Eunseok came close to guide you out by the waist. "You ready?" he smirked.

"Yeah," you nodded.

"Then let's get the hell out of here," he chuckled, grabbing your hand and running with you to his orange Dodge Challenger. You climbed into the passenger seat as Eunseok closed the door behind you.

Your heart was beating fast as hell, probably the fastest it's ever beat in your life. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you lied. Your throat was so dry it felt like you had cotton in your mouth.

"You might be able to lie to your mom, but you can't lie to me. You look like a scared little puppy," he smiled, scanning your body. "Nice dress."

"Thanks, it was my sister's."

"Well you look amazing in it," he turned the keys and you felt the seats rumble gently beneath you. You watched as Eunseok reached down to pull out a V-pen. He breathed in slowly before blowing out the sweet strawberry-scented vapor. "Here. Take this. It'll relax you," he said handing your the plug.

"Uhh...I'm okay. I don't smoke."

"Come on, just try it once. If you don't like it you can stop."

You hesitantly opened your mouth as he brought the device to your lips.

"Just suck it in slowly. Let it fill your lungs and don't try breathing out of your nose at the same time--" You began coughing aggressively, cutting him off mid-sentence. "Or that'll happen," he chuckled, before patting your back.

You looked at him through watery eyes as he reached to hand you a water bottle. "Don't worry, I didn't drink any of it yet."

"Thanks," you sniffed.

"So, what'd you think? D'you like it?"

"It tastes good, but to be honest I didn't notice much of a difference aside from coughing my brains out."

"Well, that one was kinda weak. Hold on. Imma give you something a little stronger," he smiled as he drove to a red light. "Look in the glove box and pull out that little red case," he directed you, pointing his finger at the glove box.

You sifted through the other miscellaneous objects before finding the red case. You placed it in his hand and watched as he pulled out another smoking device.

"Alright, I'm gonna go first and you just copy me okay?" he licked his lips before clasping them around the metal tip. "Just take a little bit first," he said after blowing out the cloud of smoke.

Remembering the mistake you made last time, you sucked in slowly.

"Woah, woah. That should be good enough," Eunseok chuckled as you inhaled the herby smoke.

You blew out the smoke, filling the car with the scent. You still coughed a bit, but it wasn't as bad as before. "That's weed, by the way," Eunseok smiled. "You should be feeling it in a bit."

He wasn't wrong either. You felt a sense of alertness wash over you.

"We're almost there," Eunseok said as he entered a subdivision before pulling up to a house shortly after. Cars were lined up the street, most likely belonging to the other partygoers. You could even hear the music blasting as you sat in the car with Eunseok.

This was the first time you finally noticed that Faith wasn't there. The amount of questionable decisions you were making in such a short time even shocked you.

You walked with Eunseok into to the lively house party hosted by Theo who greeted you at the door with Jell-O shots. "It's about time you got here, princess. We've been waiting for you," he smiled as he took down the cherry-flavored shot you rejected. "Did you get my message?"

"What message?" you asked.

"This one," he said, grabbing your hand to spin you around. "Wanna dance?"

"No, that's alright," you chuckled as he pouted playfully.

"Your loss. I'm a terrific dancer--"

"If by terrific you mean terrible then I'd definitely agree with you," Faith said cutting Theo off. "Hey girl, what do you think of the party? Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Well, we just got here a couple minutes ago."

"Yeah, and I was having a conversation with her until you came over here interrupting us," he poked her nose.

"Puh-lease. I'm sure she's glad I came over here to save her from your boring ass."

"Boring? Boring?! I'll show you whose boring."

"I'm already looking at you dummy," Faith playfully pushed Theo's shoulder. "If you really wanna dance then let's go," she giggled, leading Theo to a corner by the tip of his chin.

"Heh, later princess," he waved to you.

You watched as Theo grabbed Faith's hips. She swayed her hips, grinding her ass against him as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck. A seductive smirk crept across her face as Theo turned her around to face him. He caressed her thigh as he lifted her leg, wrapping it around him. He slowly leaned into her lips, hanging centimeters away from her soft pink lips before she placed her finger on his lips.

"I thought we were just dancing," she beamed.

"Dancing and kissing?" he chuckled awkwardly.

"Uh uh. Man, these shots have you acting extra horny today huh?"

You shook your head, scanning the room for Eunseok. You couldn't believe you were staring at them for that long. You didn't see him anywhere in the kitchen so you went out into the hall to look for him somewhere else.

To be honest, if Faith wasn’t busy teasing Theo, you'd probably be hanging out with her right now. But, Eunseok wasn’t so bad. You actually enjoyed his company.

Still feeling a bit fuzzy and lightheaded from the hit earlier you swayed through the partygoers, silently searching for a familiar face. You were more of a shy person, so engaging with random strangers wasn’t exactly at the top of your list.

“Hey, ~” a dark-haired girl waved to you as she was being dragged off to a bedroom down the hall. “Wanna come have fun with us?”

“No, that’s alright,” you smiled sheepishly.

“Oh come on, baby. I’ll make it worth your while,” the boy said, releasing the other girl’s hand to run his nose against the skin on your neck.

“I said, no,” you spat, pushing him away after he licked the exposed skin on your chest.

“Oh, you wanna play hard to get, huh?” He smirked devilishly as he pressed you against the wall.

You struggled beneath his weight as you looked down to see that the girl had passed out on the floor. Knowing that this was going nowhere good, you swung your free hand to hit him straight in the mouth.

“Argh!” He winced, licking the blood from the broken skin on his lower lip. “You little bitch! You’re gonna regret doing that,” he spat, grabbing your wrist, and twisting it slightly. You groaned at the burning pain travelling down your arm before kicking him between his legs which made him drop to the floor.

While he was on his knees swearing and shouting out all of the horrible things he was gonna do to you, you shook the collapsed girl to try and wake her up. There was no way in hell you were gonna leave her in the hands of this monster.

“Are we gonna play now?” She hummed. “Hmm, I’m sleepy. Can I stay here?”

“No, come on. I gotta get you out of here,” you tugged at her arms. “No girl left behind.”

The boy must’ve been feeling better by the time you finally got her to stand as you felt a set of hands push you to the ground. He grabbed you by the ankles and started to drag you down the hall.

Even though you kicked your legs in an attempt to fight him off, it was useless, he was much stronger than you and you didn’t stand a chance against him now.

Dazed, but conscious enough to see what was going on, the dark-haired girl ran off.

“Dammit,” you thought to yourself. Closing your eyes shut, you prepared yourself to just accept your fate. A set of footsteps ran up the hall toward you as you felt the boy drop your legs to the ground.

“Ugh!” He groaned as you opened your eyes to see a beer bottle had been smashed against his head.

You watched as Eunseok punched the boy in the face until blood came from his nose. His hair bounced at the force of every blow. You could tell he had broken his nose by the way his face had contorted.

“Let’s go,” Eunseok said, looking at you still on the ground. He grabbed the boy by the shirt and proceeded to drag him to the front door. “Does your brother know you’re here?” He spat looking to the dark-haired girl who you assumed ran to get Eunseok.

“I’m almost 18. I can make my own decisions,” she stuttered.

“Right, and we see where that almost got you. Come on, I’m taking you home,” Eunseok said as he walked up to a dark-skinned guy. “Lance! Can you keep an eye on this fucker? The cops are already on their way for him.” Eunseok said as he abandoned the lunatic who tried to assault you and the other girl. “He was trying to make a move on Eunchae.”

“Sure, man. I’ll hold him until the cops get here,” the boy whom Eunseok called Lance smiled as Eunseok walked outside with you and the other girl. “Tell your brother I said hi,” he chuckled as you walked outside.

“Get your ass in the backseat,” Eunseok spat as Eunchae folded her arms. “And put this on,” He said as he pulled off his oversized varsity jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

“Wait! I forgot my phone,” Eunchae exclaimed as the car started up.

“Too bad, I’ll have Theo hold onto it for you. We’re leaving,” Eunchae sat quietly in the backseat as you drove almost 30 minutes to a black and white apartment complex.

Acting like a spoiled child, Eunchae refused to go up the stairs. You could see that Eunseok was more than fed up with her bullshit as he threw her over his shoulder and walked up the stairs to knock on the door.

Eunseok, placed Eunchae on the doormat in front of him as he waited for the door to open.

“You’re not doing a very good job at babysitting her, Seunghan. Maybe you should send her back by your mom and dad,” he said as he poked her cheek.

“Yeah, I might do that because she’s obviously not ready to be an adult yet—“

“No! Ugh! You never let me do anything,” she huffed as she stormed to her room.

“Thanks for bringing her back, bro. I thought she wasn’t feeling well because she went to bed early.”

“Eh, it’s alright. But you seriously need to keep an eye on her. Oh, and Theo has her phone. He’ll probably bring it over later.”

“Okay, it’s not like she needs it anyway,” Seunghan chuckled as he closed the door.

You followed Eunseok back to the car as he started it up again.

“Sorry,” he said after taking a hit of the weed from earlier. “I’m pretty sure this wasn’t exactly the fairytale ending you were expecting,” he sighed.

"Well, it's definitely been interesting," you scoffed lightheartedly.

"Did you want to go back to the party or to my place? It's quieter there."

"Umm, wherever you want to go is fine with me."

You were hoping that he'd choose his place. Mainly because the party felt more like a freak show, a disaster waiting to happen.

"M'kay. My place it is," he said before pulling off.

He didn't live far from Seunghan so the drive was relatively short. You followed him up the stairs before entering his apartment which was uncomfortably cold.

You wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to contain some of the heat that was rapidly escaping your body.

"I would've offered you my jacket, but I already gave it to Eunchae," Eunseok said as he turned off the air.

"It's alright," you said sucking in your breath.

"C'mere," Eunseok whispered softly as he pulled you into his grasp.

Your cheeks burned hot as you felt the warmth from his body coupled with the feeling of his breath on your neck.

After a short silent moment, he turned your body to face him. He was met with a warm and submissive look on your face. A sense of innocence wrapped up by desire.

He leaned in to kiss your lips. Little did he know that this was your first kiss.

You freely allowed him to take the lead biting and sucking on your lips as he pulled your body closer to his. You quickly pulled away as you felt his bulge brush up against your core.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied as you eyes fell to the ground.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t—“

“No, I want to. It’s just that…”

“It’s just what?”

“I haven’t really done anything like this before.”

“Kissing or sex?”

“Both…”

“Oh…sorry, I didn’t know. I kinda just assumed you had done something.”

“There’s a lot that I haven’t done.”

“Well we can stop now if you want.”

“No, I want to keep going. Just take it slow with me.”

Eunseok led you to his room that was fairly empty. Nothing but a king-sized bed, a small night stand, and a laundry bin occupied the floor space.

You stood at the foot of his bed as he began kissing you again. Though this was your first kiss, you never expected it to feel so good. Again, you felt his hardness press against you, but this time you welcomed the sensation.

You felt his hands blindly move across your back stopping at the zipper before pulling it down. He pulled out of the kiss to slide your dress down before directing you to stand up and sit on his lap.

You couldn’t deny the fact that you felt a bit shy about being naked in front of someone.

He slid your panties down before he wrapped an arm around you. He reached his finger down to glide between your lips. The amount of wetness definitely wasn’t ready for his cock just yet, so he spit on his fingers before massaging your clit.

You jerked your body as he used his fingers on you. Gripping onto his arms, you threw your head back as he inserted one finger into your pussy. Your tightness gripped around his finger as you let out a soft moan.

He slowly pulled his finger back and forth grazing the flesh of your g-spot before picking up the pace.

You watched as he pulled his finger out completely covered in your wetness.

“Okay, what do you want to do first? We can go straight into sex or I can eat you out?”

“I wanna go straight into sex,” you replied as you stood up.

“M’kay. Let me go grab something first,” he said before leaving the room. You waited on his bed, playing with the wetness between your legs.

He came back shortly after and pulled down his pants to reveal his pulsing hard-on.

“I’m gonna put this on to make it easier for you,” he said as torn open the packaging that contained a dark blue condom. You watch as he slid it down his length before climbing onto the bed. “You’re gonna get on top okay,” he continued as you hesitantly straddled him.

You leaned forward to place your hands on his chest as he guided his cock to your opening. Slowly, he pulled you hips down gliding his lubricated dick deep inside of you. You whined as he broke through your hymen. A slight burning feeling filled your core.

“Mmm, fuck,” he groaned as he thrusted into your pussy. More swears left his lips before he came inside of the condom. You felt his warm seed fill you up as he laid there breathless.

“I didn’t expect you to be so fucking tight,” he groaned. “Alright, now you gotta suck the cum off so I can fuck you raw. That was my last rubber,” he sighed, fluffing his hair between his fingers.

He pulled the condom off before you went down to wrap your lips around him, sucking off the cum before gagging slightly on his length.

Once clean he bent you over on your hands and knees and plowed into your pussy as you came closer to your climax. He pulled out his cock to insert two of his digits into your gummy hole as you reached between your legs to rub your clit.

Breathless, moaning, and panting you came all over his fingers screaming out his name. He held you down and pushed in his cock to feel you pussy clench around him as you slowly came down from your high.

You collapsed on the bed from exhaustion and satisfaction as Eunseok stroked his length.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” he sighed as he kissed your shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you home before sunrise. Just get some rest for now,” he said as he saw your legs trembling from the orgasm.

This definitely wasn’t the night you were expecting, but you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy it.

You watched as Eunseok pulled his jeans up before stepping out on the balcony to smoke. Your eyes fluttered gently as you watched the puffs of smoke escape his lips. He ruffled his hair again before coming inside to join you in bed.

He guided your head to rest on his chest. The gentle hums relaxed you till you eventually fell asleep.

You don’t know what time you got in the car or what time he drove you home, but he made sure to bring you back before the sun came out.

Even though this had just happened the day before, you already couldn’t wait for your next opportunity to sneak out.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @hoyeonheeseung @addictedtohobi @chaenqen @nikisvanillaccola @mrswolfhard3 @hynjinnn1 @melobin @laylasbunbunny @urfavberry @swaggyjinnie @j4yluv @mimikittysblog @wonbinisbabygurl

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eunseoksimp · 5 months ago

Text

Between the Lines; Song Eunseok

Pairings: Boyfriend!Eunseok x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst

Description: the importance of communication and understanding, and the consequences that can arise when those elements are lacking. a relationship in turmoil, leading to frustration and distance between the two individuals.

Warnings: strong language, brief mentions of sex but nothing suggestive

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

‘we don’t even make love anymore,’ you had been questioning the physical intimacy between you two, claiming that it had diminished.

eunseok sighed, bending down to undo the laces of his shoes, barely making it through the front door before you had started. it had been a long night, and the initial idea of you staying at his place sounded enticing when it was first proposed this morning, but now he wasn’t so sure.

‘see, you can’t even correct me on that.’

he was starting to get tired of this cycle that you had started, blaming him for something that had gone wrong in the relationship, having heated arguments that often left both parties ridiculously irate before ending up in each other's arms by the end of the week.

it was beginning to become more frequent now, the times where you would take a perfectly good day with minor bumps in the road and turn it into a session where a part of your relationship was at the forefront of the discussion. it also seemed to be a pattern of eunseok bearing the burden of the wrongdoer, having to listen as you droned on and on about ways he could improve.

at first he was reactive, quick to combat any accusations you threw at him, eager to resolve any discontent that lay in your heart, the price to seeing you become at peace, to step away from the teetering edge of your rocky relationship and return back to safer grounds. but everyone had their limits.

‘i’m not answering because i don’t want to argue with you tonight,’ eunseok said through gritted teeth, taking a few seconds to calm himself down before moving away from you into the kitchen, a technique he had recently adopted so that he wouldn’t wrongfully take his anger out on you.

‘stop fucking walking away when i’m speaking,’ you’re following after him, one shoe still on your foot as you engage in some type of awkward hobble in attempts to keep up with his longer strides, probably looking like a crazed woman with the added look of your dress now slipping down your shoulders and the hair that you had spent so long pinning up falling past your shoulders.

‘please, can you go one day without picking a fight with me,’ his back is still facing you as he reaches into a cabinet, inspecting a glass cup for a couple of seconds before slamming it onto the counter. he says nothing else as he manoeuvres around the kitchen, all while you watch him, getting a jug of water from the fridge and filling the glass to the brim before raising it to his mouth and gulping it down, wiping the drops of water on the corner of his mouth away with the back of his hand when he’s done.

‘how can i, when there’s always issues? you heard what they said today, every couple is intimate but us,’ your purse is thrown onto the counter and you move from the spot you had been standing in to stalk closer to him, snatching the cup out of his hand just as he was going to pour himself another glass, just so he could pay attention.

‘you don’t find it weird that we’re meant to be in a relationship but you barely want to do anything with me anymore,’ you’re relentless, refusing to give up until you receive a satisfactory answer from him. it’s silent for a moment, with you looking at him expectantly, waiting for something, anything really. why won’t he say something?

another sigh leaves his lips as he rubs the bridge of his nose, his ears starting to ring. he couldn’t gather the strength to stand in this relatively chilly kitchen to explain to you that basing your intimate life on other people’s experiences was weird. he would much rather prefer to put the whole argument to rest and resign to his comforting bed sheets to sleep.

‘you obsess over the same thing. over and over again,’ he said, his frustration shortening his sentences, a warning that the conversation should be concluded soon for fear of becoming more explosive than it needed to be.

‘i’m sorry i can’t be the picture perfect boyfriend that you so desperately want me to be.’

‘no one’s asking you to be perfect, i’m asking you to fucking love me,’ he could tell you were also getting irritated, your words coming out a bit harsher and you were starting to fiddle with your necklace. he wasn’t so sure how your relationship had turned into this, where his every move was questioned, scrutinised, brutally by you. it made no sense why you were trying to change him.

‘you don’t even say the words, like a fucking coward,’ you chuckle, but not out of amusment, rather disbelief, almost like a coping mechanism to keep any other emotion from creeping in and making you vulnerable. it exposed the root of all your issues, the reason why something so small had blown into what it was now. eunseok had never said the words i love you.

you understood at first, given that you were normally the starry-eyed lover, falling quickly and deeply, and accepting that the way you loved was often different to other people. so when you said it the first time, you didn’t expect much. but two months had passed, and it appeared that maybe you were the only one, and that was when fear started to creep in.

‘what’s so amazing about those three fucking words that make you want to fight me everyday,’ eunseok’s temper was starting to escape from him and he pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes shut in an attempt to calm himself down, but it only fuelled your anger even more.

‘don’t swear at me,’ your finger jabbed his chest as you pushed him back a little and he grabbed your hand before you could do it again, chest rising and falling as he looked at you with a lack of belief in your actions. you were demanding respect but refused to show him the same courtesy.

‘so it’s okay when you do it? but a problem when i do?’ he scoffed, lightly pushing you away from him so he could walk away. he knew that this dispute was going nowhere, and the best thing to do would be to retreat for the night, in hopes that you would eventually drop it.

‘i’m not done yet song eunseok,’ you tried to physically stop him, getting in his way so it was harder for him to leave but he was much stronger than you.

‘cant even get peace in my own house,’ he mumbled as he brushed past you, picking up his coat that had been abandoned on the neighbouring couch and heading towards his room, slamming the door after entering, leaving you standing alone in the dim hallway all alone.

part of you wants to barge right in, to continue the argument, to reach some sort of conclusion that would satisfy the anguish nestled deep inside of your heart. however it was futile- you knew that nothing other than a heated conversation and venomous words would arise out of that, and as much as it seemed to be the contrary you were tired of fighting him too.

you exhale, debating whether it’s worth joining him in the bedroom or just heading home for the night but you know that leaving here by yourself would only anger eunseok even more.

so despite the rage burning inside of your chest, you trudge all the way over to his room, opening it just enough for you to stick your head in first. he was already under the covers, his body facing the wall. you can’t see his face clearly, but you assume by the way the sheets rise slowly before falling that he was sleeping.

this fight would just have to wait for another night. pushing the door so it was now fully open, you trail inside, the air thick with the remnants of your argument, feeling as if the walls themselves were imbued with the tension that now defined your relationship. the soft, steady sound of eunseok’s breathing was the only indication that time had not completely frozen in the wake of your emotional upheaval.

you undressed quietly, slipping out of your dress and into an oversized t-shirt that felt like a security blanket against the coldness that had settled between you and him. the bed was a large expanse, an ocean that divided you from eunseok’s distant form.

he faced the wall, the curve of his back a silent statement of his retreat. you slid under the covers, the sheets cool against your skin, feeling the vast, lonely chasm of the bed between you.

memories of better times flickered in your mind, taunting you with images of laughter and whispered secrets, of nights spent tangled together both physically and emotionally. those moments seemed so distant now, buried beneath layers of unresolved issues and unspoken words. you ached for those days when love felt simple and untainted, a stark contrast to the convoluted mess it had become.

you watched the shadows cast by the moonlight through the window, dancing on the ceiling, your thoughts racing. the silence between you and eunseok was heavy, oppressive, filled with everything that had been left unsaid. you longed to bridge the gap, to reach out and touch him, but fear and pride held you back, chaining you to your side of the bed.

the words you had exchanged replayed in your mind, each one a jagged shard that cut deeper every time you thought about it. the accusations, the hurt, the frustration—it all circled around like a storm, leaving you exhausted and emotionally drained. you had both become masters at wounding each other, knowing exactly where to strike to inflict the most pain.

you turned to face his back, whispering into the void between you, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would hear the silent plea in your words.

‘i just want you to love me,’ you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. ‘i just want to feel like I matter to you.’

the silence was deafening, each second that passed a nail driven into the coffin of your dwindling hope. you closed your eyes, tears slipping down your cheeks, and curled into a ball, seeking comfort in your own embrace. the weight of your unspoken fears and desires pressed down on you, suffocating in their intensity.

sleep came in fits and starts, fragmented by dreams that mirrored your waking turmoil. you dreamt of eunseok, of moments when he held you close, his warmth a balm to your troubled soul. but even in your dreams, he was slipping away, an ephemeral figure you couldn't quite grasp, always just out of reach.

when you woke, the room was bathed in the pale light of dawn. eunseok was still there, his form unmoving, but the divide between you felt wider than ever. the ache in your chest had settled into a dull throb, a constant reminder of the unresolved conflict that hung over you like a dark cloud.

you lay there for a while, listening to the world waking up outside the window. birds chirped, cars drove by, and life went on, indifferent to the turmoil within these four walls. you wanted to reach out, to touch him, to find some way to reconnect, but you were paralyzed by the fear of rejection, of opening yourself up only to be met with more silence.

finally, you couldn't stand it any longer. you slipped out of bed, the cold floor a stark contrast to the warmth of the sheets, and padded to the kitchen. you needed something, anything, to distract yourself from the crushing weight of your emotions.

the kitchen was still as you had left it, a silent witness to the argument that had played out the night before. you filled the kettle, the mundane task grounding you somewhat, and set it to boil. the rhythmic tick of the stove was a small comfort, a steady beat against the chaos in your mind.

as the water heated, you leaned against the counter, staring out of the window at the world beyond. it was a grey morning, the sky overcast and heavy with the promise of rain. it felt fitting, a mirror to the storm brewing inside you.

eunseok emerged from the bedroom, his presence filling the space. he looked as weary as you felt, the lines of tension etched into his face. he glanced at you, a flicker of something—regret, sorrow, maybe even love—passing through his eyes before he looked away, focusing on the kettle instead.

the silence between you and eunseok was palpable, thick with unresolved tension and the remnants of countless arguments. you sat at the kitchen table, your fingers tracing the edge of your coffee mug, the steam curling upwards like ghosts of your past grievances. eunseok leaned against the counter, his eyes distant as he stared out the window at the drizzly morning.

it had been a night filled with restless sleep and fragmented dreams, and the weight of your unresolved issues hung over you like a dark cloud. the conversation from the previous night replayed in your mind, each harsh word echoing in the quiet of the early morning.

‘we don't even make love anymore eunseok. it’s like we’re falling apart,’ you had said, your voice tinged with desperation and hurt. eunseok’s response had been a sigh, a gesture that spoke volumes about his weariness with the cycle of blame and argument that had become the norm in your relationship.

you couldn't help but feel the sting of his dismissiveness, the way he seemed to brush off your concerns as if they were insignificant. the lack of physical intimacy was just a symptom of a deeper problem, one that neither of you had been able to articulate fully.

he turned from the window, his expression unreadable as he finally met your gaze.

‘i don't want to argue with you,’ he said, his voice tight with restrained emotion. ‘i’m tired, and I just want some peace.’

‘peace?’ you echoed, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. ‘how can there be peace when there's always something wrong between us? we don't talk, we don't touch, we don't even look at each other properly anymore.’

his jaw tightened, a flicker of irritation crossing his face. ‘you’re always so quick to find fault,’ he muttered, turning away from you to pour himself another cup of coffee. ‘always looking for something to fight about.’

the frustration inside you bubbled over, and you pushed back your chair, the screech of wood against tile jarring in the quiet kitchen.

‘i just want to feel like you care, eunseok. like i matter to you.’

he set down his cup with a bit more force than necessary, the clink of ceramic on the counter sharp and angry. ‘you think I don't care? you think I don't want this to work? i’m trying, but it's never enough for you.’

‘trying?’ your voice rose, a mixture of incredulity and hurt. ‘trying means actually putting in effort, not just going through the motions. you don't even say you love me.’

the silence that followed was heavy, the unspoken truth hanging in the air between you. it was the crux of your anguish, the reason why every small argument escalated into a full-blown fight. eunseok had never said those three words, and the absence of them was a constant ache in your heart.

‘you knew from the beginning that I'm not good with words,’ he said finally, his voice quieter but no less strained. ‘i show you I care in other ways.’

‘other ways?’ you repeated, frustration giving way to tears that you hastily wiped away. ‘what other ways, eunseok? ignoring me when i need you? making me feel like I'm a burden?’

his shoulders slumped, the fight seeming to drain out of him. ‘i’m doing the best I can,’ he said softly, his eyes pleading with you to understand. ‘i care but I don't know how to make you believe it.’

the words should have been a balm, a soothing relief to your tormented heart, but instead, they felt like a hollow echo of what you had longed to hear.

‘saying it isn't enough,’ you whispered, your voice breaking. ‘i need to feel it, to see it in the way you look at me, the way you touch me.’

eunseok’s frustration flared again, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. ‘i’m not some perfect boyfriend out of a romance novel,’ he snapped. ‘i’m a person, with flaws and limits. I'm sorry if I'm not living up to your expectations.’

‘that’s not what this is about,’ you shot back, your own anger rising to meet his. this is about feeling loved and wanted. it’s about not feeling like i’m constantly begging for scraps of affection.’

the room seemed to close in around you, the walls pressing in with the weight of your mutual anger and hurt. eunseok turned away, running a hand through his hair in a gesture of frustration. ‘i’m tired of this, of us always fighting,’ he said, his voice weary. "maybe we're just not meant to be.’

the words hit you like a physical blow, the air leaving your lungs in a rush. ‘so, what? you’re giving up?’ you asked, your voice trembling. ‘after everything, you're just walking away?’

he turned back to face you, his expression a mixture of sorrow and resignation. ‘i don't know what else to do,’ he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. ‘i care about you, but this... this isn't healthy for either of us.’

tears spilled down your cheeks, and you wrapped your arms around yourself as if to hold the pieces of your breaking heart together. ‘i don't want to lose you,’ you said, your voice small and vulnerable. ‘but I can't keep living like this, feeling like I'm not enough.’

‘i do… you know,’ he said softly, the words on the brink of being set free. yet, something small was holding it back. ‘i just don’t know how to show it the way you need.’

tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time they were a mixture of relief and lingering sadness. ‘i need to hear it,’ you said, your voice breaking. ‘i need to feel it.’

the kettle whistled, a sharp, insistent sound that cut through the silence. eunseok had always struggled with commitment, and try as he might, he could never bring himself to say that he loved you. it was a word that hung in the air between you, tantalisingly close yet perpetually out of reach.

his silence on this matter was a chasm you could never cross, a void that swallowed your hopes and left you feeling perpetually adrift. the fight had laid bare the fundamental disconnect between you.

it wasn’t just about saying he loved you; it was about everything that word represented—commitment, vulnerability, trust. you had always been open with your feelings, wearing your heart on your sleeve, while eunseok had kept his emotions locked away, guarded by walls you could never breach.

he sighed, a sound that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. ‘i know you’re disappointed,’ he said finally, his voice rough with emotion. ‘i know, and i’m sorry. i just...i don't know how to be what you need me to be.’

his admission hung in the air, a bitter truth that neither of you could deny. you had always known that eunseok struggled with expressing his feelings, but you had hoped that in time, he would learn, that he would find a way to bridge the gap between you. but hope, you realised, was not enough to sustain a relationship.

‘i wish I could say the words,’ he murmured. ‘i wish i could tell you that i love you. but every time i try, it's like something inside me locks up. you know how hard it is for me.’

his confession was a knife to my heart, cutting through the last threads of your hope. you reached across the table, taking his hand in yours. his skin was warm, familiar, and yet it felt like you were worlds apart.

‘maybe,’ you said gently, ‘maybe it's time we stop trying to force something that isn't there. maybe it's time we accept that sometimes, love isn't enough.’

the tears that had been threatening to fall all morning finally spilled over, blurring your vision. your body shook with the force of your grief, eunseok’s head hung low.

the reality of your situation settled over you like a shroud, heavy and suffocating. you sat in silence, holding on to each other for a moment longer, as if by sheer will you could delay the inevitable. but eventually, you pulled your hand away, the finality of the gesture striking like a death knell.

his gaze finally met yours, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of something—regret, sorrow, maybe even love—but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. ‘i never wanted to hurt you,’ he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. ‘but i can't be what you need.’

the finality of his words hit you like a physical blow. you had been clinging to hope, believing that if you loved him enough, if you were patient enough, he would eventually open up to you.

‘why?’ you asked, the single word carrying the weight of all your unanswered questions. ‘why can't you love me the way I need you to?’

eunseok looked away, his jaw tightening. ‘it’s not that simple,’ he murmured. ‘i have my own issues, my own fears. i can't just change who I am.’

‘but i need more,’ you pleaded, tears streaming down your face once more. ‘i need to feel loved, to feel wanted. and you...you can't give me that.’

he rose from his seat, taking a step towards you, then stopped, as if an invisible barrier held him back. ‘i’m sorry,’ he said again, the words sounding hollow. ‘i never wanted it to end like this.’

you wiped your tears with the back of your hand, your heart shattering with every sob. ‘neither did i,’ you whispered. ‘but i can't keep sacrificing my happiness for the hope that you'll change. i need to let go, even if it kills me.’

the pain of those words cut deeper than any wound. letting go of someone you love, someone you had dreamed of a future with, was a torment beyond description. it felt like tearing out a piece of your soul, leaving a raw, bleeding wound that would never fully heal.

eunseok took another step forward, his eyes filled with a sorrow that mirrored your own. ‘i wish things were different,’ he said softly. ‘i wish i could be the man you deserve.’

for a moment, you both stood there, the distance between you insurmountable.

‘goodbye eunseok,’ you said, your voice breaking. ‘i hope you find what you're looking for.’

he squeezed your hand gently, then let go. ‘goodbye,’ he replied, his voice thick with emotion. ‘take care of yourself.’

you lingered for a moment, your eyes sweeping over the kitchen one last time. the table where you had shared countless meals, the counter where you had stood side by side, cooking and laughing, now seemed like relics of a past life.

with a deep, shuddering breath, you turned away from him and walked towards the door. each step felt like a monumental effort, your legs heavy with the weight of your grief. the hallway stretched before you, a tunnel of memories, each one more painful than the last.

you reached the front door and paused, your hand hovering over the doorknob. you could hear eunseok’s quiet breathing behind you, a final reminder of the life you were leaving behind. swallowing the lump in your throat, you opened the door and stepped out into the corridor. the door closed with a soft click, a sound that seemed to echo through the empty hallway, amplifying your sense of loss.

the world outside continued its relentless march forward, indifferent to the turmoil within. people passed by, oblivious to the silent agony tearing you apart. you stood there for a moment, letting the cool breeze wash over you, trying to steady your breath.

the weight of your unspoken words crushed your chest, each step echoing the finality of your parting. the chill of the evening seeped into your bones, a stark reminder that some endings were never meant to be rewritten.

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euseokz · 11 months ago

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@ eunseok — i’m so much better than him baby, let me prove it to you . . cws : none, i think . wc : 1.2k+ . genre : angst & some fluff

EX-BOYFRIEND! EUNSEOK who, even after you’ve been broken up for months, is still utterly obsessed with you.

he still thinks about you regularly, randomly texts you asking if you wanna hang out even if he knows you’ll always just tell him that the point of breaking up is that you don’t wanna be together anymore — as if he doesn’t already know that. he still hopes that you will come back to him, that you’ll ask him if he wants to give each other another chance, all his dreams getting crushed when he got word you were going out with someone else, one of his closest friends at that.

eunseok didn’t know if he was sadder because you had moved on from him so fast (you guys had been broken up for months at that point, so you definitely wouldn’t call that fast), or angrier that you had chosen sungchan of all people.

sungchan was nice, sure. eunseok obviously liked him, otherwise they wouldn’t be friends, but as your boyfriend? sungchan had to have been one of the worst choices he could think of — so, to give himself some peace of mind (and because he was butthurt and wanted to know what sungchan had that he didn’t), eunseok decided to confront you about it, showing up at your doorstep one late night, coincidentally wearing what he knew was one of your favorite shirts of his and the cologne you always used to compliment him on.

you were surprised to see him, after all, any contact he had attempted after your break-up was through text, he had never tried to actually see you again, but as soon as he opened his mouth you knew what had given him enough motivation to break the only boundary you had actually set. you still let him in, curious as to what he had to say, and that was probably your first mistake of the night, because he then went on a rant about all of sungchan’s flaws, even the ones that were completely irrelevant to you if you did become his girlfriend — something that to you still seemed so far off because you had only gone on one date, one short date that ended with you wondering why you even accepted to go on it in the first place, something that eunseok clearly didn’t know and that you didn't plan on telling him any time soon, too entertained by his desperate rambling.

eventually you did stop him, telling him that he was overreacting, that it wasn’t that serious, but then he got a look on his eyes that told you that he wasn’t joking, that to him it was that serious, the thought of you with anyone else seemingly truthfully affecting him for some reason. you assumed he would have moved on by now, that his constant pestering of your messages was something he only did as a source of entertainment since he had always enjoyed teasing you, but apparently not. eunseok still had feelings for you, and that was something you hadn’t considered, because why would he? you had broken up with him, not even giving him a full reason beyond that you wanted different things at that moment… he should hate you, so why did he still have feelings for you? when you asked him about it, eunseok himself couldn’t give you an answer, because he also didn’t know why he still felt the same way towards you after so long, why he still loved you just as much as he did months ago. sure, at first he resented you a bit, but he got over it faster than he would ever care to admit, immediately going back to loving you and wanting you back more than he had ever wanted anything else. maybe it was pathetic, but could you blame him? eunseok loved you more than he had ever loved anyone else, and to him you had always been the one, so how could he ever just forget about you? just move on as if nothing serious had ever happened between you two? that was utterly impossible, and you should have known that, he thought.

eunseok would always want you back, and when the thought that maybe he wouldn’t ever have you again crossed his mind, he had to run to you to try to prove that he was worthy of your love, that you would always be the one for him.

his confession touched you, and if you were being honest, you did miss eunseok at points, how could you not? he treated you better than anyone else ever had, made you feel things no one ever could, so why should you not still be a bit hung up on him, even if you were the one that wanted to break things up in the first place? you had never considered going back to him though, fixed on the fact that if you ever felt that you should leave him then that must have been a sign — but now, with him standing in the middle of your house, you couldn’t help but wonder if breaking things off hadn’t just been a huge mistake on your part, or maybe a step you needed to take to truly realize just how much you also loved him, because just as much as you thought that eunseok shouldn’t have feelings for you anymore, you also knew the same applied to you. you shouldn't love eunseok anymore, and you genuinely thought that you didn’t, that you were just at a point where you liked him over some fond, past memories, but that was clearly not the case, because if it was, you wouldn’t be wanting to run to his arms the second you saw him, and you wouldn’t want to kiss him as much as you wanted in that second. maybe eunseok was pathetic for still wanting you back, but then you were at the same level as him, and definitely in no position to judge.

as much embarrassment as it gave you to admit it, you told the man before you that you might also feel the same towards him, that you might still want him even if you don’t want to admit it, and to say that a look of pure glee took over eunseok’s face was probably an understatement, the realization that there was still hope for you two something that made him all too happy, way happier than he thought he would walk out of your house feeling at least. he wanted to pick you up, to envelop you in a tight embrace and promise to never let you go this time, but he held himself back, aware that wasn’t the time to do such things. so, instead, he smiled at you, that sweet smile you had unknowingly missed — that emotion, the one related to missing your ex, one you quickly realized you had been ignoring for far too long — and promised that he would do better this time, that he wouldn’t do anything that would ever even make you want to consider leaving him again, his honesty making you chuckle as you walked him towards you couch, ready to actually sit down and have a proper conversation.

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promise-you-doie · 1 year ago

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Get a Guitar | S. Eunseok

Summary: If you want something to play with... Pairing: Eunseok x Reader Sungchan x Reader words: 15k Genre: kind of a love triangle, fluff, angst. warnings: mild cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of death and Ted Bundy (Not proofread.) and thank you to @ningngyu for helping me write this

Saturdays were the one day of the week where you were guaranteed to be doing absolutely nothing.

You’d usually spend your weekend sleeping or binging all of your favorite shows and locking your bedroom door to stop your best friend from attempting to drag you out to one of those really weird underground events that she liked.

Today was the same, without fail she’s pounding at your door, so much so that you can hear the aggressive knocking on the door even over your headphones that were turned up all the way.

“Come on, just this one time please.” she begs through the door but you can’t hear anything she’s saying over the thumping of wood and the Beyoncé song you have playing in an attempt to blare her out.

“Y/N i know you hear me.”

Annoyed and frustrated you throw your legs across the bed and stomp to open the door, revealing your smiley bestfriend. whom you absolutely adored, but you’d be lying if you said there weren’t times when you wanted to sell her.

She was amazing but it was kinda like having a younger sister. No, it was exactly like having a younger sister. because although you guys are the same age, she didn’t have a license so she needed you to drive her everywhere and she stole your clothes.

“I'm not going out tonight.” you say before she could even speak.

“oh please please please. there will be cute guys there.” Her bottom lip is poked out and her hands are held put in prayer form when she looks at you with puppy dog eyes.

none of it phases you though, holding your ground which makes her plead more.

“I'll buy you food and I'll even clean your car.”

when she sees that you’re still not convinced she continues. “We can even leave whenever you want.”

That's when you roll your eyes and sigh. “Fine, but my car better look brand new when you’re done.” you say and she begins jumping and gleaming.

“thank you thank you thank you.”

your best friend was a liar, First she was broke so there was no way she could buy you food. Second, there was absolutely no one here that caught your eye.

The unruly music blaring through the small crowded building made your ears feel like they were bleeding, and of course your best friend was nowhere to be found. As she left you the second the both of you entered the facility.

you wanted to go home and lay in the comfort of your own bed, but you couldn’t leave her here with no way to get home. So there you stood, all alone arms crossed over your chest and a frown resting flat on your face. with your eyebrows unintentionally furrowed.

“Can’t be that bad.” a completely unfamiliar voice came from beside you, and it takes a lot of strength for you not to yell at them to go away.

“This just isn’t my kind of scene.” you say not bothering to look at the stranger. hoping that if you show that you’re completely uninterested he’ll go away.

“I’m guessing this is your first time.” he asks

That's when you finally look at him, intending to give him a piece of your mind but taken back when your eyes find him. Maybe your friend wasn’t a complete liar, you think. because this man is so fine you catch yourself at a loss for words and thoughts.

having to shake your head slightly before you find something to say. “Uh.. yeah. This is my first time?”

“It gets better.” he reassures, breaking eye contact and looking at the band in front of you. which for some reason makes you a little sad. you enjoy having all of his attention on you.

“Thanks.” you say, still looking up at him.

“yeah.”

“What’s your name by the way?” You ask, hoping that he’d turn his gaze back to you, and it works. He looks back down at you and answers your question. “Silver stone.”

“huh?” your mouth is agape when you look at him, confused by his answer.

“That’s just my stage name. You can call me Eunseok.” he smiles as he holds his hand out for you to shake, his smile was the perfect asset to his already perfectly sculpted face. His hands are soft and strong at the same time, while his voice is deep and gentle, playing like a beautiful melody to your ears.

“I’m Y/n.” You answer, still looking at him in awe, loving the way his eyes watch you. You can feel the heat arise from your cheeks.

“So your stage name is Silver stone?” You ask, still dragging on the conversation. Just so his eyes wouldn’t leave your figure.

“Yeah it’s a long story.” He releases a small deep laugh that causes you to suck your bottom lip in between your teeth. Eyes trained to his small movements, him dragging his hand through his “hair to pull it out of his face and rolling up the sleeves of his long sleeve sweater to reveal his forearms.

The way he looks down at you with hooded eyelids makes the overly crowded building feel like it’s just you and him.

“I’m guessing you’re in a band? If you have a stage name I mean.” you state, while tilting your head slightly to the side and looking up at him.

“I’m the lead guitar player.” He says casually, which causes your brain to turn to mush and you to take notice of his long slim fingers. “Oh he has to be a player.” you think to yourself, but If it was possible you were now even more attracted to him, wanting to know more.

“Hey, we've got 5 minutes.” You can hear and feel the bubble around you and Eunseok pop when two strangers come over and disturb your conversation. His eyes shift from you to the two boys beside you.

“Oh?… I meant take your time. We can be a few minutes late.” One of them says while looking at you.

“Sorry I don't mean to hold you up.” you trail off when he looks back down at you.

“Sorry I gotta go perform really fast. But stay here I’ll be right back. Okay?”

You move your lips to say “alright.” But he doesn’t notice as disappears into the crowd. Leaving you feeling alone again.

“Oh my god Y/N. Do you know who that was?” someone says as they tap your shoulder. you turn to see your best friend pointing out the man you were just having a conversation with while slapping at your arm aggressively.

“Eunseok?” you question, shifting away from her so she couldn’t hit you anymore.

“Silver stone!” she corrects, and continues “Oh my goodness, girl he was totally flirting with you.” she squeals.

“I don’t think he was.”

“If you guys start dating just make sure that you set me up on a date Sohee, the drummer. my god he’s so cute.”

“Sohee?”

Your question goes unanswered when the lights fade. Worrying you for just a few seconds before you hear a guitar riff that makes you turn towards the stage. Just in time for a bright spot light to hit the tall boy who was just standing in front of you a small moment ago.

Hearing the music he’s playing has you gravitating closer towards the stage leaving your best friend behind as you do. Your eyes trained to the handsome guitar player. You think he looks like a star, shining perfectly with his fingers strategically working the strings of the red electric guitar.

The music he’s playing is like a magic spell straight to your heart, feeling your body react to him in a way you’ve never felt with anyone else. Watching him so intently that you forget to blink.

You suck in a sharp gasp when he looks up, and easily locks eyes with you. Never missing a note as he bites on his bottom lip and the rest of the band come in. Once again making it feel like it was just you, him and his guitar.

You break eye contact first out of embarrassment, your whole body heating up just from the intensity of the eye contact. You’ve met attractive guys before, but this was different. This was completely different. It was something about him that was just captivating.

“Give it up for R&R everyone.” The host announces and everyone begins to clap.

You see Eunseok run off stage and make his way back to you. At the same time your best friend walks up beside you.

“How were we?” he asks, partly out of breath.

“You were… amazing. Wow, that was really amazing.” you praise.

“Really?”

“Don’t you think it was good?” you turn the question back around to him.

“I do, I just wanted to know if you liked it?” he says.

The members that you just saw on stage performing with him not too long ago are now standing beside him. Each holding a hand on one of his shoulders while he talks to you.

“These are my bandmates. Sohee our drummer.” He introduces.

The man whose name you’ve just learned sticks his hand out to meet yours, and you notice his bright smile and glistening eyes. You easily recognize his name, you just couldn’t remember where you heard it. But before you could even grasp his hand, your best friend slaps it out of the way to shake his hand instead. Batting her eyelashes and muttering her name and a small “Nice to meet you.” Sohee returns her smile as he turns to look at you and Eunseok all while keeping his hold on your best friends hand.

He’s not as tall as Eunseok, but he’s just as pretty. He has thick dark brown hair that looks extremely soft and you can tell he’s a little younger than the rest of them.

“And this is Seunghan, our lead singer.” Seunghan is taller than Sohee but not as tall as eunseok. He has a small sarcastic smirk that makes you feel like he knows something that you don’t. But you don’t question it aloud.

“Nice to meet you.” You smile at him.

“And lastly, this is Wonbin, our bassist.” Wonbin’s pretty, he looks like someone you’d find as a model for a luxury brand, his long hair just barely covering his face and his smirk towards eunseok makes you feel like you're missing something.

“Wow you all were so good.” You boast at the four boys.

“Thanks.” Seunghan smiles

“But how good is our guitar player, I mean he’s so talented. And look how tall he is.” Wonbin begins to compliment him.

“And he's a true gentleman. He knows how to treat a lady. He’d make a great boyfriend, I must say.” Sohee adds.

“That’s great because Y/n needs a boyfriend.” Your best friend holds your shoulder to show you off. You give her a side glare as Eunseoks friends continue to tease him.

“Okay guys that's enough.” Eunseok attempts to stop them but fails.

“He’s free tomorrow by the way. Well only In the afternoons. He spends his Sunday mornings tending to children in need. Like a good humanitarian.”

“Alright, good night.” Eunseok begins to push his members away.

“I’m also free tomorrow.” You say urgently before he could walk away. you don’t know what possessed you, but you really didn’t wanna let the opportunity pass you by. When he turns back around to face you, you can't hide your smile.

“Great, just uh give him your number and he’ll contact you about a time.” Sohee smiles at you and Eunseok.

“He’s a true romantic, you won’t be disappointed.” Wonbin continues while Eunseok pulls out his phone for you to put your number in. His eyes trained on you as you do.

“Okay you two, enough of your shenanigans.” Seunghan drags the two boys away leaving you alone with Eunseok again.

“I’m sorry about them.” You pass him his phone back with your number now saved

“Don’t be. They seem fun.” You laugh softly.

“They are, but it’s like having a bunch of annoying little brothers.”

You roll your eyes “Tell me about it.” As you say that, you feel your best friend's hard glare burning into the side of your face.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He questions after a small moment of silence between the two of you.

“Yeah, you will.” You confirm.

“Perfect, see you then.”

“See you.” Just as he walks away to catch up with his members your best friend begins smacking your arm and squealing again.

“Did you see him, isn't he cute?” she doesn’t fail to slap your arm until you’re holding her hands down.

“Who? eunseok?”

“Girl no. Sohee. He’s so fine, god damn.” says your best friend.

“Oh yeah he’s cute, I guess."

“Stay away from my man.” Her smile drops and she’s glaring at you as if you really had intentions of taking (not) her man.

“Huh?” you ask, genuinely confused.

“Okay let’s go home now. They’re all we came for.”

That night you had stayed up thinking about the guitar player you met earlier in the night, remnants of his smile lingered on your mind. Leaving you giggling into the palms of your hands to stop from screaming, squealing and waking your roommate up from her very deep sleep.

You had a date with a band member. It felt even better to say aloud. Especially because it’s been so long since you’ve allowed yourself to like someone other than that basketball player you've had a crush on for over three months.

“Okay which outfit?”

“One” you held the mini skirt to you waist with a top that you felt matched perfectly

“Or two” you rotated and held up a cute baby blue dress that you thought would be great for a picnic.

“Mm def number one. I love the way that skirt fits your ass. I'm feeling like he’s definitely an ass guy.” Your best friend speaks unsolicited which warrants you to smile and roll your eyes.

“Great, I’ll go with the dress.”

“Ugh, what’s the point of asking.”

“So I know which one not to choose.” Slipping the dress on easily and looking at yourself in the mirror, before you turn back to your friend.

“How do I look?” You ask, turning to her, hoping for her approval.

She doesn’t answer at first. Only walking around to you and fixing parts of the dress that you couldn’t see and moving some strands of hair into position. Once she’s satisfied she finally gives the answer you’ve been waiting for.

“You look great Y/N.” she says softly while looking at you through the mirror. Moments like this are what reminds you of why she was your best friend in the first place. But these moments don’t last long because she always says something right after to make you question your life's decisions.

“Your ass looks really good in this dress too.” She says looking down.

“Thanks...” you say sarcastically.

“See aren’t you glad I dragged you out last night.” she's smiling at you although she already knows what you're going to say.

“No, not really.”

“Look at my baby, she’s growing up and going on dates.” She coos ignoring your answer

“Okay~ I think it’s time for me to go.” You say walking away from her.

“Yes, it is, he’s outside.” She checks your phone looks up at you.

“Outside? Like outside.” You ask to clarify.

“That’s what he just texted you.”

“Oh my god.” You yell.

“Girl go!”

“I'm leaving, I'm leaving.” You yell while you struggle with your shoes, and your best friend runs for your bag, phone, perfume and lip gloss. After you feel you’ve got everything you run towards the door with your best friend behind you.

“Bye, have a good time and remember the rules.” She waves to you as you leave the apartment.

“Of Course bye love you.”

“The Rules.” We’re just a list of commandments the two of you made up on some random night but with good reason of course.

Rule number 1: don’t have sex on the first date

Everyone knows this one. It’s like a rule of thumb, but of course your best friend didn’t know this and she slept with some chlamydia infected rando. She spent the entire night crying which led to this being rule number 1

Rule number 2: when going on a date always keep your location on. Men are weird and the last thing you need is to find your girlfriend's body being discovered on the shore of a lake on national news.

Rule number 3: keep your phone charged, this goes with rule number 2. Safety first babe

Rule number 4: don’t go to a man’s place on the first date. The two of you spend too much time watching crime documentaries

Rule number 5: make sure to get Sohee's number.

She just added this one after setting up your date with “silver stone.”

“There you are.” You immediately recognize the voice calling for you. Turning to find the very man you met yesterday. He’s just as handsome as you remember the night prior, but seeing him in the sunlight accentuates his features such as the curves of his cheek bones.

“Sorry I’m late.” You apologize while walking towards him and his jet black suzuki bike.

“I didn’t mind waiting.” He says standing up from leaning on the bike, with the smile you were quickly learning to love.

“Have you ever ridden on a bike before?” he asks, watching you examine the motorcycle behind him. “No, I’ve always wanted to but I'm so scared.” you admit shyly while shifting your focus back up to him.

“It’s not as scary as you think, don’t worry” You stand in place when he slips his jacket off and walks closer to you. He leans forward and wraps it around your waist to prevent you mooning any drivers behind you if your dress rises up. “There you go”

Eunseok was also a liar. It wasn’t too scary at first but the second he hit the highway you felt your heart drop to your stomach. You had to close your eyes and tighten your hold around his waist. Even though you knew that if an incident were to happen this wouldn’t save anything. You still just needed something to hold on to.

The ride was only 15 minutes but you could’ve sworn it was longer, by the time he parked you felt nauseous and kinda light headed.

Immediately you throw your helmet off to get some fresh air and calm your racing heart. Your back is turned to him, but you can feel that he’s watching you.

“See that wasn’t too bad.” He smirks at you, while you're still trying catch your breath.

You just hold your index finger up to him because you're too afraid that if you speak, you’re going to throw up.

“You- mm” you stop to take a breath.

“I’m never trusting you again.” you add.

“You’ll get used to it.” he laughs and takes the helmet out of your hand. “Once we head back it’ll be better.”

“Head back?” you hadn’t even thought about the fact that you were gonna have to do it again. “I’ll just take an uber back.”

“Now why would I let you do that?”

“You don’t have a choice.” Once your heart is calmed and you no longer feel the need to puke, you take notice of your surroundings. Quickly noticing that this isn’t the place that people usually host picnics.

“Where are we?”

“My apartment.’ He says casually.

“I thought we were going on a picnic.” You ask, now slightly scared. He didn’t seem too threatening, but neither did Ted Bundy when he picked up his victims.

“We're getting there.” He begins walking and you follow after him, still a little nervous but justifying with the fact that he was tall and attractive. Trying to push back the idea of having to confront your best friend after she finds out you broke the second rule.

You think to help yourself you’ll just turn your location off that way you could at least just lie and pretend that your phone died. Fortunately and unfortunately you didn’t have to lie because as soon as you turned your location off it actually died.

So if he actually was a psychopath you were fucked.

You allow him to guide you to his apartment unit, trying to shush any thoughts of the many torture methods he probally has planned behind his apartment door. Hoping that if you just comply he’d go easy on you.

Once the both of you reach the door you mentally brace yourself for what’s next to come. Looking around and making sure to identify all of the exits in case it is needed. But to your surprise there's just a blanket layed out with snacks, drinks and a pretty decorated cake.

“You put all this together?” you turn and look up at him. Being able to breathe easier, since you walked into his apartment.

“It was kinda last minute, I’ll plan something better next time.” he admits.

If this is last minute you were definitely looking forward to what he’d do when he had the time. You sit down on the pillow seats that he laid out and he takes a seat right beside you, not too close but close enough for you to be able to smell the cologne that he was wearing.

And he keeps that same distance throughout the entire evening. Never once laying a finger on you, even though you really wanted him to. Hoping that maybe he’d at least slide his hand over yours or something but he doesn’t, not even accidentally.

“So how long have you been in your band?” you ask leaning back on your palms to get more comfortable.

“Only a year.” He responds.

“a year? You guys are so good.”

“You think so?”

“I do.” you tilt your head to rest just barely on your shoulder. Watching how his smile grows towards you.

There's a silence between the both of you for just a second, but it isn’t awkward at all. You’re just admiring him and all of his beauty. Finding that he’s extremely easy to be around. His presence is comforting and not at all hostile, like the other guys you’ve talked to.

You’d lost track of time just talking to him, getting to know more about him, just as you wanted. Being alone in his apartment ensured that you had his undivided attention and he had yours. He had nowhere else to look but you. And you loved the way he looked at you, with soft warm and inviting eyes.

“Where’d you learn to play?” You ask when he sits back down with the guitar.

“My dad. He used to play all the time, I guess I just kinda picked it up.” He began to pluck the strings of the instrument.

“This was his favorite song,” he continues.

His fingers dance elegantly along the strings of the guitar. Creating a nice sound to match for when he begins to hum along. “I can’t remember the words, but it went something like-”

He continues to sing how he thinks he remembers the song going, playing along as he does. Naturally you close your eyes to just listen to him. Listening to how clear and deep his voice is, how it causes you to melt away.

“Do you know any other songs?” you say when he finishes.

He looks up at you, and pauses before he speaks. Taking a quick glance of your lips, he looks away faster than you can blink, but you still catch it.

“Uh- yeah. Yeah I know a few.” he stutters a little trying to avoid making eye contact with you.

“I’ll play another one.” He finally looks at you one last time, but you’re still giving him the lustful gaze you gave him a few moments ago when he looked at you the first time. He tries to look away but he likes the eye contact you guys are keeping. He likes it so much that he slightly throws his guitar from over his lap and reaches over to place both hands on each side of your face. Pulling you in for an intense and heated kiss.

One hand still rested on your cheek and the other hand sliding behind your head right above your neck. He can feel you smiling into the kiss, happy for him to finally be touching you the way you wanted.

You pull away first, lips swollen and heavy breathing but there's still little to no distance between the both of you. His eyes never leave yours when he’s still trying to catch his breath. You find that he looks even more attractive this way, he was charming before but he just looks so enchanting right now.

He’s looking at you like he needs more and you’re more than happy to give it to him because you feel the exact same way. Now it’s your turn to grab his face and pull him into another eager kiss until he gently lays you on the floor and you wrap your arms around his neck to get him as close to you as possible.

You’d say the date went well, you got a chance to know more about him just as you wanted to. Just not in the way you thought you would.

“Do you need me to walk you up?” He asks when you hand him back his extra helmet. “Um no, I think I’ll be fine.” You say although you’re really just scared of how your friend will react when she sees him bringing you back so late.

“Oh…” He says rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

“But I did have a lot of fun tonight.” you hurry and say to stop him from getting the wrong idea. “Good, I enjoyed myself too.” he smiles when you do. “I think it’s time for me to go in.” You say although, you stand there for a while longer. Just looking at him. “Goodnight.” He replies to you.

“Goodnight.” you linger for just a few seconds longer. “I’ll text you later.” you say lastly before finally getting ready to walk away. “Oh by the way…” He says before you could go anywhere.

“Is your friend single?” he finishes.

“Huh?” you’re at a loss for words. You don’t even know how to react to that question after the both of you just spent hours talking and making out on his apartment floor.

He sees the way your jaw goes slack and he rushes to defend himself, waving his palm in the air.

“No no no, It’s not what you’re thinking. Sohee was just interested, and very adamant about making sure that I got her information.”

“Oh?” you laugh feeling relieved. “Oh, yeah that makes sense. I knew that.” you lie.

And he lets out a sigh of relief

“Here,” He says as he pulls up Sohee’s contact on his phone. “You can just send him her number.” He continues as he passes his phone to you.

“Okay,” You say when you pass the phone back to him, having sent your bestfriends number to Sohee. “Great, I’ll text you tomorrow then.” He says.

“And I’ll answer.”

The conversation lingers for just a while longer before you watch him ride off on his bike and you make your way up to your apartment unit. Giggly about your date with Eunseok. You expect your best friend to be asleep at this time of night, so you try your best to be quiet when you sneak in. Carefully turning the doorknob and opening the door to your dark apartment.

However you couldn’t be anymore wrong as your face is nearly met with a shoe the second you open the door. You don’t even get a chance to say anything before another one comes flying at you. “What the hell are you doing?” You finally get a chance to yell in between her throwing yet another shoe.

“Do you know what time it is?” She yells at you. “It’s one in the morning. Where the hell were you?” She continues. “Why is your location off?” “Why haven’t you been answering my calls?”

She asks a million questions without giving you time to answer any of them. “Do you know how worried I was?”

“Aww you care about me?” You clench your heart.

“No! Who’s gonna pay your half of the rent if you’re dead??”

“Oh?” you throw your hands back down to your side.

“Well, now that I know you’re alive. Tell me everything.” She squeals and plops down on the couch. FInally calming down so you could sit down besides her.

“Okay~ so we went back to his apartment-” “You went to his apartment?” She raises her voice to you once again.

“Yeah, but look I’m alive.” You stand and hold your hands up in defense before she could hit you again.

“...Fine.” She rolls her eyes and puts her arms back down from getting ready to hit you. “But why was your location off, and why didn’t you answer any of my calls?”

“My phone died.” you try to plead your case.

“So did you follow any of the rules?” She throws her hands down.

“Well-” You begin to say but get cut off when her phone rings and she shifts her attention from you to her phone. “Oh it’s sohee… continue.” she begins nonchalantly.

“Okay so we-” You get cut off again when she begins screaming, “Sohee texted me, oh my god my man texted me” she starts jumping all over you when she comes to reality.

“wait… you had sex?” she stops thinking about sohee to continue

“uh.. look sohee texted you!” you try to distract her

“Y/n don’t play with me.”

“We only kissed.”

“with tongue?” she asks

“maybe…” you say looking off to the side.

“Oh my god, I knew I should've given you those condoms.”

“We didn't need the condoms.”

“you’re right, I'm definitely ready to be a godmother.” She shakes her head. “Godmother?” you question.

“So does this mean Sungchan is out of the picture?”

“No, me and eunseok were just a one time thing. That’s what he does with girls anyways, Right?”

Sungchan, Jung Sungchan? Tall and attractive basketball player you’ve been tutoring for three months and crushing on since forever? No. He’s never gonna be out of the picture.

Although, it’s definitely safe to say he was never even in the picture. considering you’ve been waiting on him to make a move since he accidentally slipped up and directly described you as his ideal type.

It was only 2 weeks ago but you really hated the anticipation of waking up everyday wondering if it was gonna be the day he finally asked you out.

And it still hadn’t changed even today when you walk into your biology class, searching for him immediately only to find that he was already looking at you. smiling and waving for you to come over.

“Goodmorning.” he speaks first

“goodmorning.”

“I got you coffee.” He says placing the cup of iced americano in front of you.

“You didn’t have to.” You take your seat besides him.

“I wanted to thank you for helping me pass my midterms.”

“It's my job.”

“and you do it very well. Also, are you busy today? It'd be nice to have you cheer me on at practice.”

“I’ll be there.”

You guys were already basically dating, with you showing up to all his basketball practices and games. going over to his apartment or having him come to yours. knowing all of his friends and even texting each other goodnight/goodmorning.

The only thing missing was the official title of being his girlfriend.

“Good morning class.” The professor starts and waits for everyone to respond before carrying on with her lesson for the day. “You all will be put into groups of three to work on a project. And of course, I will be choosing teams.”

She reads off the list for a while before getting to you.

“Okay group number 5, Y/N, Eunseok…” The last name goes completely unheard. You’re scrunching your eyebrows thinking that maybe there has to be a mistake because you don’t have a class with someone named Eunseok.

“Sweet we get to work together.” Sungchan nudges you and you give him a half smile while looking around the room for the person you met last night. and sure enough you find the handsome guitar player sitting by the window of the room. his eyes already on you.

If there was a word that could accurately describe the emotions you’re going through it’d be fucked. Was there a better word? Probably but the only word that came to mind was fuck. Well actually the first word that came to mind was “Huh” because you had never noticed that you shared this class with him before now.

But also because you thought you’d never see him again after last night. Assuming that he probably had a list of girls on his roster. But now that you knew that you were gonna be seeing him a lot more than you thought, you were fucked.

“Eunseok… Hey.” You say trying to muster up a sincere smile.

“Oh do you guys know each other?” Sungchan asks, looking at the both of you.

“Yeah.” Eunseok answers before you can say anything

“Only a little.” you add, trying to ignore the way Eunseok looks at you. “There’s a seat right here.” Sunghchan says, pointing to the chair beside him. You were no genius but allowing your somewhat one night stand to sit beside your potential boyfriend just didn’t seem like the brightest idea.

So that’d justify why you suddenly and aggressively yell “no” when sungchan offers. “I mean, you can just sit right here.” You giggle when they both look at you shocked.

Sports were never really your thing, but it became your thing when you started tutoring Sungchan. Loving the way he looks when he’s all sweaty, out of breath and his index finger always points directly to you right before he makes a shot.

Seeing him on the court always reminds you of why you stayed up late nights talking your best friend’s head off about him. He’s good at what he does and he also looks hella good doing it. Yes, him being tall, and a basketball player does play a big role in why you’re so attracted to him, but that wasn’t why you fell for him in the first place. It’d definitely have to be how special he made you feel, or how often he praised and complimented you.

Or it could have been the way he always goes straight to you whenever he helps to win one of his games. You were still trying to figure out exactly why you liked him so much, but also trying to find out if he even liked you, or if you just thought he did.

“Water?” you ask when he runs to you, and hunches over with his hands on his knees while trying to catch his breath.

“Thanks.” He receives the water bottle from your hand and you observe how much smaller the bottle looks when he’s holding it. Your eyes stay trained to him when he brings the drink up his lips and he tilts his head back for the water to easily slide down his throat. You pay attention to the way his arm slightly flexed and how his damp hair stuck to certain parts of his forehead and around his face.

“I’m gonna go get changed and then we can get ready to go.” He speaks through his heavy breaths, while pushing his hair back once again flexing his arm.

“Okay.”

He leans down again, this time his breaths are stable. He just wants to get on your level so you don't have to look up at him. Making eye contact with you when he does so.

“You did a good job cheering for me.” He smiles at you, easily leaving you flustered when he speaks so only you could hear him.

“Isn’t that why you asked me to come?”

“That’s exactly why I asked, nobody else does it like you.”

“Go get changed Sungchan.” You push him away weakly.

There were many reasons why you liked sungchan, so it’s very hard to really pinpoint when you actually started falling for him and why. He was sweet, and funny, He was also very gentle with you. He was completely different from the stereotypes that other sports players had built for themselves.

“You have 3 months until the big game,” You begin to start a conversation while walking beside him to your car.

“Yeah, I’m kinda nervous about it.”

“You’re nervous? You’re Jung Sungchan, best player on the whole team. You’re gonna do amazing.”

“Are you gonna be there?” he stops in front of you.

“I wouldn’t miss it.” You say looking up at him.

“Then we’ll definitely win.”

If only he was your boyfriend. If only he was your boyfriend you could kiss him goodbye instead of just imagining it. If only he was your boyfriend you could hold his hand instead of letting it just swing closely, just to get half the satisfaction of having your hand in his.

If you had to give all of the reasons why you liked sungchan, you’d probably run out of time and breath. But if you were to give just the one reason you’d even consider looking at someone else it’d be because he strung you along as if you had all the time in the world.

Because he’d say and do things that make you feel like there’s just no way he doesn’t like you the way you like him. But then he’d also say and do things that make you feel like you’re just reaching.

“I’ll te-” His stopped mid sentence when two girls who you assumed were best friends walk up behind the both of you. Looking up at him, because of the way he towers over the three of you.

“Sungchan.” one of the girls speaks.

You watch him turn around to face the girls, and then switch your focus to watch them. They’re pretty, both of them. It doesn’t make you question yourself but it is something that you observe.

“I think you’re really cute, can I have your number?” She asks, completely ignoring you standing behind him. even if she had acknowledged you it wouldn't change anything. it wasn’t like you could get mad and call her a home wrecker or anything.

But when he turns to you instead of answering first you feel a kaleidoscope of butterflies in your stomach. Nodding your head to ensure that you didn’t have an issue with him giving them his number. Were you actually okay with it? no. but you were curious to see what he was going to do.

He pleasantly surprises you when he shakes his head no, and wraps one of his arms around your shoulders. “I’m kinda busy right now.”

“ah, I'm so sorry for bothering you guys.” the girl looks at you and then runs off with her friend

When they’re gone you look up to him expecting to talk about the interaction that just happened. but he doesn’t, only moving his arm from around you and continuing from where he left off before he was interrupted.

“I'll text you later.” he says, opening the door to your car.

“Okay”

“drive safe.” Is the last thing he says before you split ways.

“I will.”

And the night with Eunseok? You plan on never talking or even thinking about it again. Was it fun? Yes, you definitely enjoyed yourself. And you wouldn’t be convincing anyone if you said that you hadn’t even thought about him once since last night.

But if you were thinking about making things work with Sungchan, then you had to go about life pretending that Eunseok didn’t even exist. Which he was making very hard to do.

You look away from your notes to look at the notification that pops up on your phone. Assuming that it’s probably Sungchan texting you just he assured you he would. However the name that flashes across your phone isn’t Sungchans.

“Shit.” You whisper aloud and it causes your best friend to also look away from her notes. “What?”

“Eunseok just texted me.” You shyly admit.

“Why’s that a bad thing?” She sits up fully.

“I didn’t think he’d talk to me again.”

“So you just wanted to fuck and never talk again.” She bluntly asks.

“We didn’t have sex… and yes. I thought that he did that with everyone.”

“Okay what did he say?” She points to your phone, while still looking at you.

“He asked if I was busy.”

“Well hurry up and text him back before he thinks you are busy.” She gestures to your phone.

“I can’t text him, what about Sungchan?” You ask.

“Sungchan? As in Jung Sungchan. Girl, are we still talking about this man?” You best friend rolls her eyes.

“Sungchan whom I’ve had a crush on since forever.”

“Exactly and where has that gotten you?”

Leave it to her to be brutally honest with you, while also making you feel incredibly stupid

“We’re working on it.” You say lowly and look to the side.

“Yeah right, tell him you’re free.”

“Fine.”

You aren’t doing anything wrong, right? It’s not like you and Sungchan are actually dating. Actually you are a free woman, so why not explore your options. Besides, you're just hanging out so really you aren’t doing anything wrong.

His response comes immediately after you tell him you’re not doing anything. “He said he wants me to come watch them rehearse.” You bite your bottom lip while looking at your best friend.

You’ve come to find that you actually love watching Eunseok play. You can tell just how much he loves what he does. All in the way his fingers elegantly dance along with the strings, creating a captivating melody that has you mesmerized.

While subconsciously leaning forward, you stop focusing on his hands and start focusing on his face. How concentrated he looks trying to get the notes right on his instrument.

He looks up when he begins to feel you watching him, smiling when his eyes meet yours.

“You wanna try?”

“No, no I can't, I'll break it.” You shake your head and wave your hands but he doesn’t listen to any of your arguments as he stands up and gently hooks the guitar strap around your shoulder. While resting the heavy instrument in your lap.

“Eunseok,” You look up at him, protesting once again.

“Just hold it like this.” He says, moving your hand to where it needs to be.

“Then just…” He demonstrates by grabbing your other hand and using your own fingers to strum the strings of his guitar. Showing you a few times before he allowed you to try again on your own.

“See you’ve got it.” He speaks right by your ear, still holding the neck of the guitar up so you’d be more comfortable.

“I did it!” you smile, not noticing how close he was until you turn your face to look at him. When his lips are so close to yours, you suddenly feel like you have stopped breathing. Your body goes into complete shock for a few seconds, and you don't know what to do.

“Uh, what a nice guitar, how much was this?” You begin to ramble, out of complete embarrassment, Striking a few chords on his guitar and jumping when they come out horrible.

“I’ll just give this back.”

Your heart's racing now and you feel the heat rush to your cheeks. Why did you let your roommate talk you into this? The “why” is unclear and all you know is that his small and deep laugh doesn’t help aid in the embarrassment you feel right now.

“I can teach you more if you want.”

“Uh, no it’s fine. That’s definitely more your thing.” You shake your head and pass him the guitar back.

You glance up at the other boys, seeing that they had paused their practicing just to watch you and Eunseok. “Actually, maybe I should go. I don’t wanna interrupt you guys' practice time.” You look back up to him.

“You aren’t interrupting anything.”

He says to try to stop you and when it doesn’t work he looks over at wonbin. Who’s only gesturing at him to go after you.

“Let me at least walk you to your car.” He speaks up as he runs behind you.

“Okay.” is all that you say, slowing down so that he can catch up with you and walk in silence. You have a bunch of thoughts running through your head, feeling the need to get them all out before you forget everything.

“About last night,” He stops walking completely when you begin to speak.

“I just wanted to apologize. I don’t usually do that, well I’m not usually like that. I don’t know what happened. And I hope that it doesn’t make things awkward between us.” You explain

“We can just forget it all happened if you want.”

“Could we?”

“Of course.”

He smiles at you and you smile back, relieved to have gotten that off your chest. Knowing that class is gonna be so much easier now that you aren’t giving him the wrong Idea.

“But we can still hang out right. Because I really like hanging out with you.” He continues when you start to walk again.

Hearing him say that makes you realize, you actually like hanging out with him too. Watching him play and getting to know him better.

“I like hanging out with you too.” You turn to look up at him when you finally reach your car.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, you will.”

It goes quiet again, mainly because there’s nothing else left to say. But you’re not ready to leave yet. You suddenly start to feel the same way you felt when you first met him. It could have been because there was no one else around so he had nowhere else to look but at you.

Having his eyes on you was like having your own personal spotlight, his dark obsidian eyes shining down on you like you were the prettiest thing to walk the earth. That might have been the reason you slowly gravitated closer to him. Slowly closing the space between both of you until your chest was pressed against his.

He leans down but only a little, just enough for you to feel his breath brush against your face. And he’s still not as close as you want him to be. So you latch on to each of his shoulders and get up on your tippy toes so that your face could be leveled with his.

Now his nose is barely touching yours, and your eyes are trained to his lips. Pausing before you think to kiss him, “Are you gonna apologize for this tomorrow?” He asks against your lips,

“Probably,” you say and it comes out almost in a whisper.

Despite your answer he still wraps his arms around your waist as if it were even possible for you to get even closer to him. And he attaches his lips onto yours, while leaning down to your height so that you could place your feet flatly on the ground again.

Your arms wrap tightly around his neck pulling him towards you like he’s the last man you’re ever gonna kiss.

“okay.” you whisper when you break the kiss

“okay.”

“Goodnight.”

“goodnight.” the two of you go back and forth.

“I should probably go now.”

“Alright, get home safe.” he says but neither of you let go of eachother. your arms still wrapped tightly around his neck and his hands still sitting firmly on your waist.

Maybe it was a good thing you let your best friend drag you out that night. Even though she never made good on her promises, but it wasn’t like you were expecting much from her. Being with Eunseok was so much different than anything you’ve ever experienced. He did all the things you wanted Sungchan to, and he was just as gentle with you as Sungchan was. He listened to you and made you feel desired.

Which is exactly why you agreed everytime he asked you out again.

However, with going on dates with Eunseok and still somewhat kinda seeing Sungchan things had begun to overlap and it started to get hard balancing the both of them. So you went to get advice from the person that got you in this mess in the first place.

“Alright how about this, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, are for sungchan. Since he was here first.” your best friend writes down on the notebook in between you.

“Okay.” you nod

“and then Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are for Eunseok.”

“And sunday?” You ask, looking up at her.

“That’s your day off, this is a full time job.” She explains

“oh.”

And you knew you could trust her. (No you didn’t) That’s why she was your best friend, she always had the best advice. (No she didn’t)

Going between the two boys was actually quite easy, and even kinda fun. Coming home to recap with your best friend after everyday and using code names so that her new boyfriend wouldn’t catch on.

“Any progress with the frog?” You best friend asked when you sat your laptop down on the coffee table and took a seat criss cross on the floor in front of it.

“He told me his grades are getting better. That’s a good thing.” you answer.

“You know that’s not what I’m asking.” You didn’t have to look to know that she was rolling her eyes.

“He’s been practicing a lot.” You answer again, still trying to avoid the question you knew she was asking.

“Did you guys kiss?” She just asks

“Wait, Kiss? Like a princess and the frog kinda kiss? Wait, you guys have a frog that can play basketball?” Sohee sits up confused.

“It’s just girl stuff, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.” Your best friend says while leaning in to give him small butterfly kisses on his lips.

“Okay.” He obeys and goes back to laying his head on her lap.

“No, we didn’t kiss. We haven’t done anything.” You answer her question and turn back around towards your laptop to finish the list of assignments you’ve been putting off since you were spending more time with sungchan and Eunseok.

“And the rock?” is all she says, but it causes your lips to turn up into a smile. And you have to look to the side so that she doesn’t see the way your excitement grows when you think about him.

“We…” You start

“You really like him huh?” She asks

“The rock?” Sohee sits up again.

“It’s nothing, baby.” She shushes him.

She was right, you definitely did like him, a little too much you think.

So much so that even when you weren’t around him you were still thinking about him. So much so that small things reminded you of him. So much so that your heart did a little cartwheel whenever you got a message from him.

It was just so easy to be with him, you didn’t even have time to think about if he liked you or not.

Eunseok kept his hand loosely around yours while you jumped and squealed at all the sea animals in the aquarium. Pointing to the ones that you thought were especially enchanting, While you watched the swimming sea creatures he watched you.

Paying attention to how he could see the reflections of the fishes through your eyes, seeing how your face lit up.

“This is so beautiful.” You whisper. “Isn’t it?” He says

“Sometimes I wish I was a fish…” You speak while still staring ahead. “I could see this everyday.” you say referencing the pretty scenes of underwater life.

“if you were a fish, you’d be a jellyfish” he said looking at the fish swimming behind the glass.

You turn your head to watch him when he moves to stand behind you and wrap his arms around your torso.

“Why a jellyfish?”

“Cause they're my favorite sea animal, and they're really pretty.” He turns and smiles down at you.

“You think I’m pretty?” You ask but he doesn’t answer. Only leaning down to give you a chaste kiss on the lips.

“You didn’t answer my question.” You turn your whole body around to face him.

“I don’t think pretty is a strong enough word to describe you.” He whispers against your lips right before he gives another kiss. This one being more passionate and intense than the first one.

If this was something that he did with everyone, you bet they felt special. Because you definitely did. No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself not to get too attached to him, he always did something that made you imagine what it’d be like to go all the way with him.

But then there’s sungchan…

And when you were with sungchan things were just different.

You kicked a bit of sand up every time you took a step, walking beside Sungchan with your hands dangling beside you. The beach was completely empty, it’s just you and sungchan walking along the shore listening to the crashing of waves.

The shades of blue and orange reflected off the vast sea beside you. The wind blowing past your skin causes you to shiver and wrap your sweater tighter around your body.

You weren’t a big fan of beaches, or more the idea of them. The crowds of people sunbathing in the sand and having your food stolen by unruly seagulls. But this wasn’t that, this was romantic and intimate.

It was perfect, being here with sungchan not a care in the world.

“Are you cold?” He asks slipping his jacket off

“No, I’m okay.” He ignores you completely and wraps his varsity jacket over your shoulders

“Thanks.” You tug the ends of the jacket closer together.

“The sunset is so pretty.” You look out beside you, watching specifically where the sky and the sea meet. Even with the harsh crashing of waves and screaming of birds, it still wasn’t enough to cover the awkward silence that the both of you had managed to maintain.

“I usually come here when I’m stuck on something and I don’t know what to do.”

“What are you stuck on?” You turn to ask him.

He stops walking and it kinda starts to scare you.

“I don’t know how to say this.” that’s when you hold your breath, for the first time in a long time you think he’s about to ask the question you’ve been wanting him to ask.

“It’s okay, take your time.” you grab his hand without breaking eye contact with him.

Not another word leaves his mouth, because instead of telling you what’s been bothering him. He just leans down and connects his lips with yours.

It’s gentle and tender. Just how you always imagined your first kiss with him would be. It was amazing, it’s like waking up on Christmas and seeing that you got exactly what you asked for. But when you pull away from the kiss and look up your heart drops.

You liked being with Eunseok, but you’ve always liked Sungchan. You were very sure of it. So why did you imagine Eunseok when Sungchan kissed you?

The thought confuses you so much that you go back for another kiss from him, hoping that his one would reset your brain and get you back on track. But it doesn’t because when you open your eyes, You still see Sungchan.

“How did it go, with the frog?” your best friend asks the second you walk back into your shared apartment.

“It was good.”

“It doesn’t sound too good.” She says, “Did anything happen?”

“Yeah, umm we kissed.” You say nonchalantly

“Oh my god he finally made a move?” She begins to celebrate for you

“Wait, so are you like… into frogs?” Sohee walks to counter where you and your best friend are.

“No, I thought I was but now I think I like the rock, because when the frog kissed me all I could think about was the rock and now I’m confused.”

“You were thinking about the rock?” You best friend asks

“So you like to kiss rocks?” Sohee adds

“No boy hush.” She holds her index finger out to him.

“GIrl what are you on?” she turns back to you

“This is your fault, I knew I shouldn’t have continued to see him.”

“Wait so you told her to kiss the frog?” Sohee asks, still very confused.

“I told you to go out with him, have fun, be young. Not, fall in love with him.”

“Are we talking about the rock or the frog?” Sohee interjects again.

“I’m not in love with him, I don’t even like him.” You roll your eyes

“Okay I don’t know what’s going on but I know that’s a lie. Because the way you talk about the rock makes me want to find a rock. Sohee turns to you

“So you’d cheat on me with a rock.” Your best friend turns to him.

“No, of course not. There’s no rock in the world that looks at me the way you do.”

“And there never will be.” She adds, “But my baby is right, you definitely like the rock.”

“No, I like the frog.” You correct.

“Not anymore.” they both say in sync.

Confused as you were, you didn’t stop seeing him. You needed to find if you actually like him, or if you just liked the way he made you feel.

You sat right in front of the stage where Eunseok and his band performed. He was right, over time you’d gotten used to being at these kinds of events. Just not for the reason you imagined, you liked being here because he was here. You got to see him in his element.

And you found this is where he was his best.

Even though you’d gotten used to being here, it didn’t make the music any better. It just got easier to tune out. The only music being bearable was the music that Eunseok made. The music that got you here in the first place. The music that made you question your true feelings.

You’re lost in thought, staring at him. Watching him flick at the strings of the guitar and while you were watching you failed to notice that the song he was performing wasn’t a song you heard before. It’s beautiful and different from any of the other songs they’ve done.

It’s slower in tempo and amorous. Just the song he was playing made you realize that you might actually like him, You might like him alot. It wasn’t just the way he made you feel, it was him himself.

And you become very sure of it when leaves the stage and makes his way to you kissing you in front of everyone. You become sure of it when he kisses you and you don’t imagine anyone else but him.

“R&R everyone.” You faintly hear in the speakers behind you.

But then there was sungchan.

“You’re gonna be at the game right?” He asks, leaning against the door in front of you.

“I told you a million times, I won’t miss it.”

“I just wanna make sure you remember, I’ll be sad if you don’t make it.”

“I’ll definitely be there, sungchan.”

“Promise?” he asks, holding out his pinky to you.

“Really?” You laugh

“Yes, I need you to promise me.”

You’re still giggling but you wrap your pinky finger around his and give him the reassurance that he wants to hear.

“I promise that I’ll be there. I’ll be cheering louder than anyone else.” You promise with your finger still looped around his.

“Good.” He gets ready to give you a small peck, but out of panic you turn your head so he kisses your cheek instead and start fake coughing so he doesn’t think anything of it.

“Sorry, I think I’m coming down with something.” You say in between coughs. “But I’ll see you tomorrow, Sorry, bye.” You don’t give him any time to say anything before you close the door right in his face.

The second you close the door and turn around, you’re faced with your best friend. “That’s messed up.”

“What?”

“You know what.” She smirks, putting an emphasis on the “know”.

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I'm not judging girl. do your thing.” she points and walks back towards her room.

it definitely felt like she was judging, but you couldn’t blame her. you were judging too.

You were there, just as you promised. Sitting on the bleachers, screaming his name whenever you felt appropriate.

The scores are too close to even predict who you think is gonna win, but you think it doesn’t even matter. because no matter what, you just wanted to be here to support sungchan.

Although you can’t help but feel your heart drop when you see the look on his face, when he looks up at the scores and then looks around the gym to find you . Wishing that you could just just the numbers yourself. or that there was at least something you could do, but there wasn’t anything left to do but sit there and cheer for him like you promised you’d do.

When halftime comes around you make your way down to him, with a bottle of water in hand.

“you’re here.” He smiles even though he’s still out of breath.

“I told you I would be.”

“I didn’t see you at first, I was starting to get worried.”

“I can tell.”

“Really, was I bad?” he asks, sitting up straight when he’s gotten his breaths tamed.

“You’re doing good Sungchan, can’t wait to celebrate when you win.”

“I’m glad you’re here.” he says lastly and you respond with “I made you a promise.” before he leans down to place a small kiss on your cheek.

“Okay, now go win this game.” you pat his back.

“you better be watching when I do.” He points to you when he runs back over to his team.

“Who's winning?” Your best friend asks in your ear.

“Omg you’re here.” you get up and squeal when you see her.

“don’t be too happy, I'm only here to save your ass for what’s about to happen.”

“What's about to happen?” You ask.

“If I tell you, then it won’t happen.” she shrugs

This is one of those many times that you’d like to throw her in a box and ship her to australia. because now you’re trying to think of every possible scenario of what could go wrong.

And you wished she’d just tell you, so you could prevent whatever catastrophe is about to take place.

as you’re still thinking Sohee walks in and takes a seat besides your best friend. His arm instantly wrapped around her when he asks “who’s winning.”

“So far it’s a tie.” you explain distantly.

“oh yeah, eunseoks waiting for you in the hallway.”

“Eunseok?” you ask jumping up.

“yeah. he’s in the hallway.” he says again.

You run out of the gym and into the hallway where you expect to find Eunseok. Looking around hastily when you see him already smiling at you.

“What are you doing here?” you question when he pulls you into a hug, planting a small kiss on your lips.

“It seemed really important to you.” He looks down at you, with you still wrapped in his arms

“Sungchan’s playing, and he’s been working really hard. so I just couldn’t miss this.” You explain.

“You guys must be very close.” he asks but it comes out more as a statement than a question.

“Yeah, you could say that.” You agree.

“Okay, well you finish watching the game… while i go get us some snacks.” he says in between kisses.

“I'll come with you. I need to make sure you get the right ones.” You speak against his lips.

“I'll get the right ones.”

“But i need to make sure.” You go back and forth with him.

“sounds like you’re just trying to make excuses.”

“I'm not making excuses, I'm just very picky about my snacks.” you smile up at him before going in for

Time went by so fast you didn’t even realize you were out for so long. Neither of you even made it to get snacks because you stood in the hallway kissing him. not realizing that the game was over until you heard claps and screams coming from inside the gym.

“Fuck.” You curse under your breath when you realize that you had missed the entire game.

“what?”

“i gotta go.” he starts to ask why but you don’t explain anything as you run back into the gym to see Sungchan and his team cheering. Making it obvious to you, who had won.

This must’ve been what your best friend was trying to warn you about. this had to be it, because all the guilt you’re feeling right now makes you wanna cry.

Especially when Sungchan runs over to you with the biggest smile on his face. A smile that you tried to match but failed. Luckily he was too proud of himself to notice how you were feeling.

“you won.” you say to mask the guilt that’s eating you inside out.“I knew you would.”

“I did it for you.”

It was sickening to say the least, Sungchan made the winning shot in your name and you weren’t even there to see it. What's even worse is when he grabs your hand to wrap up in a hug and places a tender kiss on your forehead.

“you gotta come out at some point.” you’ve locked yourself in your room and decided not to talk to anybody at all, because of how bad you felt about what you did to sungchan. And to be honest you weren’t really ready to face either one of them in class.

“Go away.” You yell from your bed.

“Girl. don’t get mad at me cause you decided to have your tongue down your man's throat while your other man was winning a basketball game for you.” She snaps back

“You’re not making me feel any better.” You

“You shouldn’t even feel bad, you think either of them are locking themselves in their room and crying because they kissed another girl.” she questions through the door..

That’s when you get up and walk to your door to say what you have to say to her face.

“I don’t know how much it meant to him that I was there, and I missed it. I couldn’t even do the one thing he asked me for.”

“Okay? He probably hasn’t even noticed that you missed the last three days of classes. And besides he’s just been stringing you along. It’s not like he was really ever gonna make any commitment to you.”

She was wrong, but she’s always wrong. That’s something about her, she has a fantastic talent of being just wrong all the time. This time she was wrong about sungchan not noticing that you missed class.

Because he stood right in front of your apartment door with your favorite ice cream. Getting ready to knock when he sees Eunseok get off the elevator with a paper bag in hand. They both look at eachother confused but Eunseok is the first to speak,

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see my girlfriend.” Sungchan says adjusting the tin of ice cream in his hand.

“Are you aware that your girlfriend has a boyfriend?” Eunseok asks referring to your best friend,

“Huh?”

While you’re still explaining to your best friend why you’re so hurt about what you did to Sungchan. There's a knock at the door that causes you to jump slightly. You hold your breath while your best friend walks over to answer the door.

“Y/n your boyfriends are here.” She yells which warrants them to look at each other and then back at her.

“Huh?” They say in unison.

“Fuck.” you curse under your breath.

You walk out to the living room, to see that indeed both Sungchan and eunseok were standing side by side staring back at you with confused expressions written on their faces.

If you could pull out a sword and swallow it right there, you would. Right in front of them, maybe then that would solve every life problem you’ve ever had, including this one.

“What.. umm. What are you doing here?” You’re not even sure which of them you’re directing it to.

“I thought you were sick so I bought ice cream.” “I brought your favorite ice cream.” they both say at the same time.

“You brought ice cream cause you thought she was sick?” Your best friend asks but she gets ignored when Sungchan looks down to the jar of ice cream that Eunseok’s holding. “That’s not her favorite.”

“She loves this one.” Eunseok looks at him.

“She likes cookies and cream.” Sungchan speaks holding up the ice cream that he's holding in his own hands.

“She hates cookies and cream,” Your best friend answers before you even get a chance to say anything.

“I thought you liked cookies and cream.” Sungchan finally looks at you.

“I do like it.” You lie.

“Now girl, why are you lying?” You best friend speaks up for you.

“Shut the fuck up.” You turn to say to her with gritted teeth,

“Oh my bad, she loves cookies and cream because she can’t ever just choose one flavor.”

“Do you ever stop talking?” you ask passive aggressively.

To that she just throws her hands up in the air and mutters a very insincere “sorry.” while walking to her room.

“So do you like cookies and cream? Cause I can go get a different one if you don’t like this one.”

“I love cookies and cream.” You lie through a tight smile as you look at Eunseok who could very easily tell you were lying. And you knew it, especially with the way he cocks one of his eyebrows up.

“Thank you guys for-” You start but get cut off by Eunseok. “Who’s Sungchan’s girlfriend?” He asks, leaving you confused.

“Sungchan’s girlfriend?” You repeat, looking at Sungchan, your heart completely beating outside of your chest.

“You’re my girlfriend.” He responds to you.

“Huh? Your girlfriend?” you ask now even more confused.

“I thought we made things official that day at the beach.”

“You didn’t say anything, you just kissed me” By the time you think to stop yourself, it’s too late. You’re too scared to look at Eunseoks reaction but you do anyways. “Do you like him?” he asks calmly and it makes you nervous.

“I..” You're not even sure how to answer the question with them both standing in front of you.

“I understand.” He places the jar of ice cream in your hands and walks out of the door. “No, I-” Instinctively you go to chase after him. But sungchan’s voice alone stops you right in your tracks. “What are you doing?”

What are you doing? Things were never supposed to get this serious with Eunseok. So why do you feel so disappointed seeing that Sungchan is still here instead of him. And would things be better if it were the other way around.

“Sorry- I think you should go.” You finally look up at him.

“What?”

“You should just go.” You say once again, trying to blink back the tears that are threatening to fall. Watching him silently leave, taking the ice cream with him.

It’s been six days since you’ve talked to either Sungchan or Eunseok. You’d say it was better this was, but that’d be a lie. It was better when your heart didn’t drop every time you ran into Eunseok in the hallway, or at least when he would just respond to your text,

It was better when you didn’t feel a wave of disappointment whenever you opened your notifications only to see that it was just Sungchan begging you to talk to him. It was better when you didn’t go through your day feeling like there was something missing.

The rain tapping against your window eases your mind as you reread through all of Sungchans messages. Your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth and your books laid out across the floor, from when you attempted to catch up on your homework but failed when google decided to notify you about your old photos with Sungchan.

Sungchan: Hi

Sungchan: Can we please talk?

Sungchan: Fine, I'll just talk.

Sungchan: I know I haven’t been really straightforward with you about how I felt. So I hope that I can fix that now, I like you. I like you alot and I miss you and I just want you to talk to me please. I don’t know what I did wrong but if you just tell me I'll fix it, I promise I will.

The more you read the last message the heavier your heart gets. Once again you feel like you're about to cry, but you can’t because you’ve already cried all you can cry. You know you need to put your phone down and do something else to take your mind off of this but no matter how many times you tell yourself that you just can’t put it down.

It doesn’t help that it’s completely silent, there’s nothing here at all to distract you from your own thoughts. and when you think about opening your social media accounts nothing seems entertaining enough to keep you from clicking off of them and back on to sungchans messages.

However, the knock at the door is more than enough to make you forget everything. you get up to answer it assuming it’s just one of your neighbors or something, but when you open it to see sungchan right across from you, you almost close the door in his face. or at least you imagine it.

“Why are you here?” you mutter.

“I really need to talk to you.” He walks right in and closes the door.

“We-”

“Just listen, I like you, I like being around you, I like talking to you. I like the way you support me, the way you make me feel. I know I’ll never find someone even close to you and I know It shouldn’t have taken me this long to tell you, but I was afraid of how you’d react. And even if you don’t like me the way I like you, I hope that we can at least just stay friends.”

You can’t think of anything to say even though you know he’s waiting for you to say something. Your brain is full of over a million thoughts, that you fear that if you do say something it’s gonna come out mumbled and confusing.

You did like him, you really did. But after a while it felt like you were just convincing yourself that you did. And this should’ve been enough to make it clear who your heart really belonged to but you’re still clinging on to the little bit of feelings that you have left for Sungchan. So you tell him “I like you too, but I think we should just stay friends for now. That’s worked out really good for us so far.”

To which he laughs and pulls you into a hug. “It definitely has.” This makes you feel somewhat better. It hushes half the thoughts that you had before. Plus the hug is warm and comforting and exactly what you didn’t know that you needed.

“Are you crying?” He asks looking down at you

“No.” You lie muffled into his chest.

Now that things with Sungchan were going much better you were still trying to work out things with Eunseok. And “work things out” just meant that you ranted to your best friend every day after class about how much you miss your rock.

“The frog and I are okay, but the rock won’t talk to me, he’s ignoring all my messages and he won’t even look at me in class.”

“Maybe because he’s a rock.” Sohee blatantly speaks but you ignore him and keep talking as if he isn’t even there.

“I just miss him so much, I miss playing in his hair and listening to him play his guitar while I’m trying to study.”

“Okay so correct me if I’m wrong but I’m starting to think that your rock is a code name.” Sohee interrupts again.

“Oh baby you’re thinking too much, you just need to relax. Here let me…” Your best friend places her hand on his shoulder to pull him back and stop him from saying anything else but it still doesn't work because he just lays his hand over hers and continues to make his point.

“No wait, I have never seen a rock that plays the guitar and the rock sounds alot like…. Oh my god.” He yells the last part upon coming across his realization.

“Is the Rock Eunseok?” He asks, jumping up off the couch. You’re too stunned to speak or even think. Your body is too stiff to move, you don’t even know how to get yourself out of this situation. “I’m right aren’t I?”

“Yes, Eunseok is the rock.” You say shamefully

“And the frog must be that Sungchan guy.” He adds

“You know Sungchan?’ You look back at him confused.

“Yeah, the basketball player that you cheated on Eunseok with.”

“Now wait, I didn’t cheat.” You hold your hands out as you're ready to defend yourself.

“You might as well have, Eunseoks liked you for so long that I thought the both of you were already married.”

“But we’ve only known each other for like 3 months.” You speak, confused.

“No, he’s liked you for like ever. He used to bother us all the time about you during rehearsals. He talked about you so much that Seunghan threatened to ask you out just so he would make a move.”

“What?” Now you're at a complete loss of words.

“Bro yeah, we were all shocked that he finally talked to you when we saw you at the show. You should’ve been there, well you were but you know what I mean.”

Wonbin noticed you first, because you were the only person in the crowd who had a frown so prominent that he was worried your face was gonna be stuck like that. That’s when he taps Sohee’s arm so that he could see it too but Sohee was too worried about your best friend to really care about how mad you looked. So when he couldn’t get his attention he just turned to Suenghan and called it to his attention instead.

“Wait, I think that’s Y/n.” Suenghan says

“Are you sure? She’s usually happier.” But when wonbin turns around Suenghans already gone to find Eunseok.

“Y/n’s here.” Seunghan says pointing to you while looking at Eunseok. To which Eunseok just shrugged off without even looking in your direction because they’ve been playing with him like that all night. So he just assumed it was another one of their mean jokes. However when Seunghan just laughs and leaves he looks up just to check out of pure curiosity and it was actually you.

He’d already told his band members that the next time he saw you he was just gonna talk to you. And he had intentions on going through with his promise even though you looked extremely unentertained.

Sohee finished explaining the story about the night you and Eunseok met.

“And then he started talking about you even more once you guys finally did start seeing each other.”

“This entire time?” You ask again. “And more.” Sohee adds which makes your best friend chuckle. “Girl, go get your man.”

“He won’t even talk to me.”

“He’s not the one that needs to do the talking.” For the first time in a really long time, your best friend was actually right. So you did as she told you to and reached for your phone.

“I said go get your man not go text him.”

“What if he closes the door in my face?” You ask in a whine.

“Then it would have been very deserved.” She replies.

“But-” You begin to make an excuse but get cut off immediately.

“Go!” They both shout at the same time.

You’re now in the parking lot of his apartment, still hesitant on whether or not you’re ready to face him yet. You know that if you leave the car you’ll be forced to deal with reality so you decide to just stay there for a few more minutes and at least plan out what you wanna say. However all that’s going through your mind is static and everything that Sohee told you.

You’re so confused you begin to talk to yourself. “This whole time?” you say aloud.

No matter how many times you try to talk yourself into leaving your car you just can’t. You even make it as far as to open your car door.

“So how’d it go?” your best friend asks the second you walk back into the door.

“It didn’t.”

“What do you mean it didn’t?” She pipes up.

“I got too scared to even knock on his door.” You speak.

She gets up from the couch and walks to the front door and closes it behind her leaving both you and Sohee completely confused. Then you hear a knock at the door so you answer it because you know exactly who it is. “That’s all you had to do.” She says when you open the door.

That’s when you close the door in her face, and lock it right after. Although you knew she was right. If you wanted to work things out with Eunseok you definitely couldn’t allow your ego to get in the way.

Sitting in your bed, reading over the unsent message over and over again until you finally have the guts to push send. However the more you read it the more you decide against even bothering him.

You let out a long, deep sigh, click your phone off and lay it on the bed beside you while thinking about something to help distract you. However everything you thought of led back to Eunseok. Even when you throw your head back on your pillow and close your eyes all you can think about is him.

“What do I do?” you speak aloud to yourself.

“Oh you need a break. Bad.” Your best friend trespasses into your room.

“What do you have in mind?” you say simply turning your head over in her direction

“I’m thinking we're going to see this new band.” She sits beside you on the bed, while proposing her new idea.

“I don’t think I’m ready to see Eunseok in person yet.”

“He’s not even gonna be there, I’ll have Sohee make sure of it.”

“This better not be one of your little tricks.”

“What? One of my little tricks?” she teases looking off to the side

“I’m not going.” You state firmly.

“No, he’s not gonna be there. I swear.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Suit yourself.” When she doesn’t beg like you expected her to, you start to get concerned. “You don’t want me to take you?”

She shakes her head. “No Sohee’s on his way.” She continues. “I just wanted to help you take your head off of things.”

“This is the first time you’ve ever actually done something good for me.” You speak gratefully.

“Mm mm girl this is for me, you sitting around here sad really messes up the mood. And the smell, girl, take a shower.” She covers her nose.

“Wow, thanks.” You sit back against your headboard to begin contemplating again why you were even friends with her.

“I’m kidding y/n, you know I love you. And I really hate seeing you like this, It breaks my heart.”

“I’m sorry I’m trying to shake this feeling.”

“Just come out with us tonight, please. If you’re not feeling it you can leave no questions asked.” She moves closer to you and cuffs your hands into hers. The look she gives you makes it hard to say no. Not that you’d say no anyways, you really could use a distraction.

“Fine.”

“You’ll come?”

“Yes, I’ll come. But I'm driving myself. I don’t need to see you and sohee making out the whole ride.”

Just as promised you showed up to the event and yet again your best friend was nowhere to be found. You didn’t even bother to look for her, you just stood with your arms crossed staring at the crowd in front of you and thinking about how long it had been since you were in a place like this.

The music still needed some getting used to but you weren’t as uptight about it as you once were. You also notice that there is something different, you can't quite pin your finger on it but you definitely notice it. Maybe it’s just the vibe that’s off, you usually came to these things for Eusneok so now that he wasn’t here it felt kinda weird.

Or it could have been that they painted the walls a different color. But it’s most likely the fact that the boy that you’re looking for can’t be found. Even though you told yourself and your best friend that you don’t wanna see him yet, you can’t help but look around occasionally to see if you find a familiar face.

But you never do, no matter how many times you look or in what direction. He’s not there.

“Looking for someone?” a voice says behind you and your heart drops immediately, You turn around with wide eyes but quickly release your breath when you see that it’s not the person you thought it was.

“Just my best friend.” You answer him although you're not really in the mood to speak to speak to anyone at the moment.

“Did I scare you? I didn’t mean to.” The unnamed man continues

“Oh no you’re fine.”

You are still talking to the man but someone behind him catches your eye and distracts you from the conversation. You watch them for a little and the longer you watch the more you’re sure that it’s definitely the guitar player that you’ve been looking for all night.

Not another second goes by before you’re cutting the man off to push past the crowd and make your way to Eunseok. He doesn’t say anything when he sees you so you decide to speak first.

“Can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He says bluntly.

“I have a lot to say.” You state but you don’t get the chance to get anything else out because he walks away from you and you’re forced to run after him just so you can at least explain yourself.

“Eunseok.” You shout, and that’s when he finally stops

“I like you Y/n, and I can’t talk to you when I know about you and him. I don’t wanna be just friends.”

“And I like you too, when I’m with him I’m thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you. I just can never stop thinking about you.”

“Were you thinking about me when you kissed him?” He asks

“I was.” You answer honestly

“and you still did it.”

“It was wrong to try and go between the both of you, I know. but I honestly thought you did this with everyone. how was i supposed to know how you felt?” you say in a raspy voice trying to stop yourself from crying.

“how did you feel?” He questions

“I felt confused. I never expected to like you as much as I do, and I never thought you’d like me back in the same way.”

you stop and watch him before you say something else

“Please forgive me, eunseok I’m sorry I really am. I don’t know how many times I can say that.”

you continue to watch him even as he walks closer to you and wraps his arms around you for you to rest your head on his chest. “I missed you.” cutting you off from apologizing anymore.

“I missed you too.”

“And also do you really like cookies and cream Ice cream?” he asks suddenly

“No, I hate it.” you laugh still burying your head into his chest.

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ywnzn · 8 months ago

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boy next door ᡣ𐭩 stole your mans

ᡣ𐭩 song eunseok x fem!reader

ᡣ𐭩 synopsis. in which yn keeps texting a random number life updates, that turns out to be the boy next door.

₊ ⊹ prev | next ⊹ ₊

ᡣ𐭩 notes. eunseok pay for my nails too pls 🙏🏻

ᡣ𐭩 taglist. [closed] @kyusqult @starwonb1n @teddywook @seunghancore @molensworld @ahnneyong @lecheugo @eternalgyu @rksbae @hakkkuu @wonychu @nakam00t @totheseok @ilovechanhee @strawbaemi @miyawakiblossoms @kgyam4 @sseastar-main @rosesfortaro @dodot04lover @daegale @b-riize @snoopyana @lipsbyive @bludzk1llzyuzu @keilovr @ksywoo @bambisnc @poollabug @rllymark @jinanangel @bunni @drinktaro @wonbinsvlle @lcvehee @snowyseungs @miyawwn @nujeskz @https-yeonjun @esther-kpopstan @inmybunnyera

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seokvrtual · 3 months ago

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favorite one 𝜗𝜚 song eunseok | ch. 06

06. matcha chronicles ✷ masterlist / next

you’ve confessed to eunseok a total of two times: once in eighth grade and once in eleventh. both times ended in rejection—something you’re not exactly proud of. now, as you begin a new chapter of life with university starting, you can’t help but feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke as you keep orbiting around the same guy who turned you down twice.

genre. not exactly friends to lovers, she fell first he fell harder, invisible string

featuring. fem! reader x eunseok, pahn thitta as yn, ot7 riize, aespa’s giselle, enhypen’s jake, le sserafim’s yunjin

taglist. send an ask to be added! @nctsshoes2 @yoursyuno @dutifullyannoyingfox @nakam00t @yipyipmorals @myungjaesgf @romehan @kriize @dearestjake @cherrytaesan @blurryriki @kyusqult @sngj08 @enhacolor

#riize #eunseok #eunseok imagines #eunseok x reader #eunseok fluff #eunseok angst #eunseok smau #riize imagines #riize x reader #riize smau #riize fluff #riize angst

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zombyjuice · 1 year ago

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NOBODY BETTER THAN YOU! - eunseok.🍨🦷🐆🍦 t(>.<t)

In which your boyfriend you recently just got back together with is coming over for the first time since.

bf!eunseok x fem loser!reader

toxic relationship, fluff, angst, smut! suggestions to the reader having depression (NOT ROMANIZING.) suggested cheating. etc..

so many things inspired/helped me make this so I’m just gonna . @melobin and @anquelic on insta and my playlist below took inspo from there too <33 lol!

“Eunseoks here…” one of your roommates sneered from the other side of the door you could almost feel the face they gave eachother. You hop up and rush to open your door with a wide smile on your face “Hey baby” your boyfriend, walking towards you, a hand in one pocket and a bag of Burger King in the other an extremely attractive smile on his face “hii” you practically melted pulling him into your room and hugging him tight.

“Please don’t fuck yet! Give it a week!”

“shut the fuck up!”

He chuckled kissing your forehead and pinching your sides, you loved it when he did that, made you feel so safe you could practically feel your heart melt watching his movements as he placed the bag on your table.

That feeling goes away in an instant as you watch him sigh as he moves some of your clutter to the side. This made your heart flutter with sadness and your brain go a bit fuzzy.

He understands you more than anybody really, he’s patient and he does seem to care for you, he understood all those months before you guys were ever official you’d disappear trying to decide if he’s the one and if you should give him the chance.

He understood the nights where you’d just sit in silence not wanting to be touched or talked to, and he understood the nights you guys would be talking like normal only for you to start crying out of nowhere, or the nights you’d scream and push him losing your temper only to end up in his arms letting him watch you crumble under him. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay I've got you, doing so well for daddy” “‘m not mad at you, okay pretty, it's okay”. He understood the nights when you were finally your silly self after spending a weekend alone.

He understood all your quirks and interests. Once he dragged you to one of his sets because he remembered someone working on it had a dog who understood multiple languages, remembering your rather odd fascination with it how. can they do that? And watching as you said sit to the dog in Spanish, French, and Japanese, complete shock and happiness painted on your face as you laughed and laughed, adoration painted on his.

So how is it that you caught him multiple times all over the girl, the same girl he had a pass with, rumor has it they were “casually” sleeping together before you ever entered the picture you know it was deeper than that. To him “it wasn’t that big of a deal and he was just being nice.” You had to constantly shift your morals just so you could be happy with him, he knew you hated it, he knew the disgust you felt with yourself every time you’d go back with him. But you loved him so it's alright.

You knew the irritation and anger that bubbled up inside of him when you'd ask “Are you unhappy in our relationship?” or “Am I annoying you? I'm sorry” but he loves you so he's got to deal with it, right?

And no matter how many times you believed he cheated he was stable, nothing in your life is stable but him. So maybe that’s why you feel you always go back to him. And only him. Because, to you, there's nobody better than him.

He turned to you already able to read your face “It's alright, today's our lazy Sunday isn't it? We'll clean a bit tomorrow but for now, cmere let's lie down”

The smile that was once on your face came back and you gladly took his hand as he led you to your bed and cozy. Watching some of your favorite horror movies and munching on Burger King you between his legs a hands squishing your thighs and head dropping down to your neck every now and then to suck a hickey at your favorite spots your hands would grab at his knees as you whimper and giggle. “quit it, they’re finally escaping”. He'd quietly pout and slightly rut his hips up against you visibly hard.

{2:49 am}

Your eyes meet your boyfriends and grab at his hand that's hitching up your inner thigh, yours visibly smaller “Should we play some-” he smashed his lips against yours, your first actual kiss of the night “fuck I know we said we wouldn't do anything, but shit you look so good, sound so good, need to fuck my babies in you, make you mine forever” he grabbed at your neck and slid it down to your arm, manhandling you under him.

You could only submit to him, knowing this would have happened by the end of the “night”.

“Can’t believe I spent so many Sundays without you, felt so wrong, I’ve missed you so much” he'd moan against your lips grabbing at your thighs and aggressively pushing them up as he grinds against you, whimpers slipping out of you “missed you so much more” you’d whisper mind going elsewhere remembering exactly why you spent so many night away from each other’s grasp.

“Let me fuck away all that nonsense,only have you think about this cock” as if he could read your mind “please”.

And just like that he’d do exactly what he said.

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lwtqts · 8 months ago

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break up !

previous | masterlist | next

💐: WOAHHH TWO UPDATES THIS WEEKEND??? yes bc i saw my ex and i got upset🙃 (and i was excited to write this update🤭)

bold couldnt be tagged !

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enluv · 11 months ago

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[ 1:35 AM ]

word count: 463

pairing: song eunseok x mentioned reader

warnings: angst, dwelling on past relationships, not cheating but definitely thoughts of others during relationship with new partner

eunseok can’t forget the mornings you spent together, limbs entangled underneath his sheets, your body warmth bringing him comfort well into the mid afternoon after he’d insist you stay laying next to him, refusing to let you go.

his heart breaks when he can’t say those three simple words back to his current partner, he knows it breaks theirs too.

you’ll always be the only one in his heart, no matter how long it’s been since you parted ways, even when he’s moved on just like now he can’t forget you.

he can’t forget your bright smile after he presents you with the beautifully hand picked flower bunch he has hidden behind his back, and he’ll never forget your perfect laugh after he’s told another one of his silly jokes or the way you tug at your hair when you’re anxious.

that same laugh he’d kill to hear again, the same smile he dreams about well into the late night as he lays empty next to his new partner.

and he knows it’s not fair to them, he knows he’s hurting them but he can’t bring himself to care when he remembers the memories you once shared, the feelings you emitted from him, or the love you permitted him to give you all those years you were together.

he hears your name as he walks by your favorite coffee shop, and sees you in the stars when he’s on a walk late at night, granted the reason he can’t sleep is because you run through his mind and take over his dreams often keeping him up.

he feels terrible when he compares anyone new to you, and he wishes he could stop it, he wishes he didn’t love you so damn much but he does and he can’t escape it any longer, he needs to see you, needs to know you miss him the way he misses you.

eunseok knows you’re still in the same place he walked out of almost a year ago, he knows you still go to the same cafe you’d showed him while dating and he for sure knows you still sit to gaze at the stars in your small hideout behind his old apartment building. he knows all this because he does it all the same too, never once changing anything drastic just in case you’d think to come back to him.

it’s laughable how desperate he is to see you again, to hold you in his arms or to hear your voice.

he dwells on what if’s, torturing himself with millions of thoughts on how he could have handled that night differently. how he knows he could have just shut up and he’d probably still have you in his arms right now just like he longs for.

coco’s <3 note: tehehehe hey guys 😋 hope you liked this one! and don’t hate me too much for eunseok angst 🫰�� ty @odxrilove & @invuwrld for proofreading this originally and telling me it wasn’t bad 🫶🏽 I hope everyone likes it seriously!! I’ve never done timestamps so I’m a little nervous hehe but here it is!! as always, feedback and reblogs are always appreciated <3

riize taglist — @palajae @txtlyn @rllymark @soheekisser @luvbinnies @chaerybae @lecheugo @idkwatodoanymore @givemeakith @haechansbbg @mxlly143 @tinyelfperson @vampcharxter @odxrilove @noajakah236482 @nikilvrfvr @ja4hyvn @aerivrs (bold can’t be tagged 🥺🫶🏽)

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x0llaz · 5 months ago

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Lovers rock pt2. | S.ES |

After a drunken encounter, yn and eunseok question the future of their relationship.

cw: drinking, cursing, heavy angst, pining, miscommunication, eventual fluff, lots of crying.

WC: 3.8k

YN had dreamt up an idea of how to start the conversation with Eunseok. Maybe they’d have breakfast and coffee, relax a little, then talk. She had it worked out in her mind, she wouldn’t be combative, or angry, she’d keep herself calm. Regardless of the outcome, they could both walk away with more understanding of each other.

She felt hopeful- like maybe they could reach something that could help them both. Maybe, they could start again, and their relationship could thrive more than it had before. Maybe it was a good thing he came to her apartment. Maybe Eunseok would be back in her life again, and he wouldn’t just leave out of nowhere.

To her surprise, she woke up alone. Eunseok’s arm wasn’t around her, his breath didn’t fan over her ears. He was just gone. She got up and looked around her apartment, not wanting to believe he’d just leave without saying anything. But after a moment, she realized that he did.

YN sat down on her couch in disbelief. Though she knew Eunseok, she didn’t expect him to stoop that low, to leave before she could say anything to him. She thought back to his drunken babbles, about how much he missed her, about wanting her back. Was it all just the alcohol? And then she thought of the kiss. The sweet, tender kiss they shared, that made her heart beat out of her chest.

Was she stupid to think it meant anything?

She thought about Eunseok, their relationship before, and the day they broke up. She thought about him knocking at her door, drunk from his parties, and practically never letting go of her. She thought about the parties they attended together, how he never got drunk then so he could spend more time with her. Her heart ached at the thought.

And then she realized that yes.

She was stupid.

Eunseok decided to confide in his friend about the situation. He and Wonbin went out to get lunch the day after, and Eunseok dropped the bomb.

“I think I might’ve hooked up with my ex,” He sighed.

Wonbin dropped his fork, choking on his food. “You what?” He asked, patting his chest aggressively. “Like, YN?”

Eunseok nodded. “But I’m not sure,” he sighed. “I got drunk as fuck, and the next morning I was laying in bed next to her.”

“Were your clothes on?” Wonbin asked.

“Yeah?” Eunseok nodded hesitantly.

“Even the jeans?” Wonbin asked, and Eunseok nodded. “Then you probably didn’t,” Eunseok let out a sigh in relief. “But you still went to see your ex,”

“I know, I know,” Eunseok groaned.

“Did you say anything after?” Wonbin leaned forward.

“No,”

“Have you guys talked about it at all?” Eunseok shook his head. “Not even a text?”

“Nope,” Eunseok shoved a bite of food into his mouth.

“Nothing????” Wonbin asked in disbelief. “So what, you just did the walk of shame and neither of you said anything?”

Eunseok cleared his throat. “I kinda…. Skipped the walk of shame,” he muttered.

Wonbin deadpanned. “Eunseok.”

“Wonbin,” Eunseok sighed, knowing what was about to say next.

“What did you do?”

“I just left,”

“When did you leave?”

“It doesn’t matter,”

“Yes it does, because I can tell you’re still thinking about it. So it matters. Tell me.” Wonbin demanded. “Eunseok,” he said sternly.

“I left before she woke up,” He mumbled into his hand.

“What?” Wonbin leaned forward. “I can’t here y-”

“I left before she woke up!” Eunseok said, a little louder than he intended. Now people were staring. “Happy now?”

“No, i’m extremely unhappy,” Wonbin deadpanned. “What the hell is your problem? Why the fuck would you do that?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be supporting me as my friend?” Eunseok asked desperately.

“No, as your best friend, it would be wrong for me to lie and say that what you did was okay,” Wonbin sighed.

“She’s my ex! What did you expect me to do?”

“Have a respectful conversation and go your separate ways?” Wonbin suggested, giving Eunseok an annoyed smile.

He just sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” He said. “We aren’t together, and I have no intention of talking to her again,”

“I mean, given how much you bring her up, I highly doubt that,” Wonbin pointed out.

“Whatever man,” Eunseok stood up. “See you around,” he walked out of the building, hearing Wonbin yelling behind him.

“Talk to her!”

When Eunseok got outside, he pulled out his phone. YN hadn’t texted him, so why should he text her? He shoved his hands in his pockets, mumbling to himself about the whole situation being stupid. He walked down the sidewalk, listening to the road next to him, and the small talk of people around him. The sky was a gloomy gray, and the wind blew against his skin uncomfortably.

He crossed the street and gazed up at a familiar building. YN’s apartment building. He looked up to the homely looking building, reminiscing about the first time YN brought him to her place. She made him ramen and they played video games on her couch. Those were the moments he missed. The sweet, domestic moments with the girl he cared for. The street felt brighter on this side, more lively, more whole. Maybe because of the building, or maybe, because Eunseok liked that side of the street for his own reason.

He heard the sound of heels stepping down the stairs, and turned his gaze. He felt like an idiot when he saw YN, carrying her bag, looking so put together, likely on her way to class. They were both frozen, staring at each other. Eunseok thought about making a joke, or saying hi. But he realized how weird he must seem to her. Disappearing only to reappear outside her home.

But Eunseok didn’t do anything. Instead, YN just walked past him with a look of indifference.

And they were right back at square one.

It had been two weeks since the two ex lovers had met. In those two weeks, Eunseok struggled to remember what happened between them, and found himself not wanting to avoid YN anymore. YN on the other hand, had seemed set on tuning out his existence. Eunseok often tried making eye contact with her, tried to get any kind of reaction from her, but she never budged, looking past him.

YN convinced her friend Chaewon to go to a party with her. It had been too long since she’d shown up to a party, and she knew some of her friends had been missing her. She spent a while getting ready, wanting to look good, feel good, dance, and drink until she stopped wanting to cry about what happened with Eunseok.

She had a feeling Eunseok would be there. He was known to get around parties a lot, so it wouldn’t surprise her. If anything, the petty part of her wanted him to know that she was just fine without him.

Eunseok was already there with his friends when she walked through the door. She wore a black minidress that showed enough skin to get him hot and bothered, hair down, her pretty smile emanating through the room as she greeted her friends. He didn’t try to hide his own stares, watching as she crossed across the house, he wondered if she could feel his gaze against her skin.

He wondered why she was there. She hadn’t shown up to any parties recently, and now appeared out of nowhere. While YN was doing fine on her own, Eunseok felt himself lose his cool minute by minute. When she crossed the room again, she made eye contact, as she headed in his direction. He felt himself stand up straighter next to Wonbin, as if trying to size her up as she approached. When they were almost face to face, YN rolled her eyes to the other direction with a lazy smirk, swerving around him to walk to the kitchen.

Eunseok blinked in confusion. What just happened???

As he questioned his life choices, wondered why he found that moment oddly attractive, he heard Wonbin let out a laugh beside him.

“What’s so funny?” Eunseok scoffed.

“You,” He sighed. “And her.” the younger one smirked. “I saw the way you stopped slouching when you thought she was leavinggggg,”

“You’re just seeing things,” Eunseok sighed, walking into the kitchen, part of him hoping YN would still be in there. Maybe he could get a word in while they were both still sober.

He saw her leaning against the counter, playing with her hair as she poured a drink, and talked to two guys. He watched as she giggled while they talked, how she batted her eyelashes up at them. He felt unjustifiably jealous. He cleared his throat and the two guys turned to face him, backing out of the way so he could grab a drink. While his back was turned, he didn’t notice when YN slipped away, joining her friends, putting distance between the two of them.

Eunseok Joined his friends, glancing across the room, watching as YN would sip on her drinks. He knew she couldn’t hold her drinks, and something told him to not drink anymore. He was chatting across the room with his friends, when she saw him get close with another guy, a guy in their grade, Jisung. He felt his jaw clench as the two of them danced, while his friends tried to pull his attention away from the scene. Eunseok tried to not pay attention when she’d dance with Jisung, but found himself glancing over time and time again.

Hours had passed, Eunseok sat on the couch while YN, clearly drunk, was chatting with her friends. She was giggly, her speech sloppy and cheeks pink, it would’ve been a cute sight to see if Eunseok hadn’t been filled with worry once he realized she had been getting tipsy. What if she didn’t have a ride home? All her other friends were drinking, she didn’t really know anyone else, and he didn’t trust anyone else to take her home. Why was that his business?

It was when she got lost from her group of friends that Eunseok got worried. He had seen in passing, the group slowly leaving with dates or random guys, leaving YN alone in a house party she didn’t know many other people at. Some friends.

While she walked around, wobbling due to her drunkenness, and the heels she stupidly wore, Eunseok caught her shoulder, pressing her to stop. He moved in front of her, looking down at her and sighing. YN just frowned, swatting his hand off her.

“Move,” She mumbled, trying to shove past him, but once again, his hands caught her shoulders, steadying her in front of him. “I said move!” she said a little louder.

“You should get home,” Eunseok managed to keep his voice calm, with sympathy in his eyes as he looked at her.

“Mmmmm…. Don’t wanna,” YN grinned, trying to leave, but Eunseok’s gentle but firm grip on her shoulders kept her in place.

“You’re drunk, and you need to get home safe,” He sighed, pushing his hair back with one hand, before returning it to rest on her shoulder.

“What are you, my boyfriend?” she laughed to herself at the joke, and Eunseok felt something pang inside of him.

“No, but i’m someone who doesn’t want you getting hurt by yourself,” His voice sounded colder than he intended, but as much as he tried, he couldn’t hide how much one true comment ruffled his feathers.

YN just laughed, rolling her eyes and looking up at him like he was stupid. “Yeah?” she tilted her head. “So was I,” she whispered, too dramatic for sobriety.

“If you’re still upset about-”

“You know I am still upset about that,” YN interrupted him, folding her arms across her chest. “Like I knew you were kinda pathetic, but I didn’t know you would stoop that low.”

“Excuse me?” Eunseok looked at her, his jaw slightly slacked as he stood up a little straighter.

“You almost made me feel bad for you. ‘I miss you’, ‘I want you back, I'll do anything!’, blah blah blah!” YN rambled off the things she remembered he said to her, the words that gave her the stupid false hope that maybe they could fix what happened between them.

“What the fuck are you on about? How drunk are you?” Eunseok lost his patience at her words, not believing he could’ve said any of that. Not wanting to believe he could have ruined his last chance with the girl he loved.

Eunseok didn’t notice how her lip trembled in the silence that followed his words. He didn’t notice tears welling in her eyes, but he heard the shake in her voice. “You’re the one who left in the morning,” her voice was quiet, shaky, and told Eunseok that something actually happened that night.

He didn’t have time to process it before YN slipped away, weaving through the crowds and before Eunseok knew it, she was out the door. He was quick to follow, pushing past people until he got out the house, his eyes landing on YN’s wobbly figure as she walked down the driveway and to the sidewalk.

“YN!” He called out.

“Fuck off!” she yelled back, and he could hear a sob in her voice.

“What are you doing? Where are you-”

“I’m going home. Isn’t that what you wanted!” She yelled, not looking back, her arms wrapping around her frame to warm herself up.

Eunseok quickly caught up, calling her name again. This time she turned to face him, but misstepped on her heel, falling to the pavement with a hiss. Eunseok quickly kneeled in front of her, seeing the blood on her knee, and brushing any dirt away.

YN looked down on him, felt his fingers graze her skin. It hit something in her, something she felt when he came to her apartment that night. And this time, it just made her cry more.

Eunseok looked up when he heard a small sob escape her lips, seeing her looking down at her legs, tears dropping onto her skin as she sniffled. “Hey…” he sighed, sitting up a little straighter. He reached for her hand, a small sign of affection they had for one another, but she pulled away, covering her face. After a moment, He brought his hands to her wrists and gently pulled them down. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Go away,” She mumbled.

“No,” he shook his head. “I’m not leaving you,” She looked at up hearing those words, eyes wide, filled with fresh tears.

There was silence, interrupted by small hiccups and sobs. Eunseok just held her hands in his.

“What happened that night?” He asked gently. “I can’t remember anything other than showing up…”

YN blinked at him, eyes bleary, cheeks stained from runny makeup and tear stains. “You said you missed me,” She looked down. “You were apologizing for the breakup. You said you really really missed me. You wanted me to stay with you that night…” She trailed into a sigh. “You said you wanted me back,” she sniffled, dropping her head to her hands. “Was I so stupid to believe that!?”

Eunseok didn’t know how to respond. Her words made his heart hurt as he struggled to come to reality with all he had done wrong while knowing her.

He watched as YN dried her tears with the back of her hand. He got up after a moment, and shrugged his hoodie off his shoulders, wrapping it around her shoulders before pulling her off the ground. He kept her hand clutched in his, not wanting her to stumble, or try and go off on her own.

“What are you doing?” YN slurred a bit as they approached his car.

“I’m taking you home,”

“Why?”

“You’re too drunk to drive,” He told her as he opened the door for her.

YN hopped in the passenger seat without another complaint. Moments later, Eunseok got in, and they were on the road. It was silent between them, a sobering silence for YN, that made her own shame grow and grow.

Eunseok walked YN up to her apartment door, ready to part ways and let her forget about their encounter just like he had. But YN waited in her doorway, staring at him a little longer than either of them anticipated.

“Should I come in?” he asked quietly, to which YN nodded. He stepped through the door, and watched as YN walked to her kitchen, filling a tall glass with water. She chugged it down, sobering herself, as she felt tears prick at her eyes.

“About what you said earlier…” Eunseok sighed. “I’m really sorry about what happened that night, i didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine,” he heard her voice break as she spoke. “I didn’t really expect you to mean anything you said,”

Eunseok was stung by the words, only realizing that in their entire relationship before, and their dynamic now, he had never given her any reason to believe he would mean something like that. “YN…”

“It’s fine, Eunseok,” She said again, wiping her eyes with the sleeve to his hoodie. “Can you like… wait in here for a little bit? I want to shower before we talk,” She asked, sniffling before finishing her sentence.

Eunseok nodded, and YN handed him back his hoodie. He was reluctant to take it.

YN quickly got in the shower, switching between freezing cold and scalding hot to try and bring herself back to reality. She rinsed herself off and changed into some pajamas that in all other circumstances, she would be embarrassed for Eunseok to see her in. She took a deep breath before opening the door to her room, clad in a matching set of Hello Kitty pajamas, that made Eunseok smile before coming back to the situation.

YN walked over and sat next to him. “I’m sorry I got drunk,”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Eunseok told her gently. “We can call it even now,”

YN gave him a look that told him she wasn’t in the mood.

“I didn’t realize you had forgotten what happened,” She said, letting out a small sigh.

“I didn’t know leaving would hurt you that much,” Eunseok looked at her, and YN looked down. “It seems like you have it all together, why would this make you start to crumble?”

YN picked at the fuzz on her pajama pants. “Because It made me think there was a chance for us,”

Eunseok’s eyes widened.

“And Now I feel stupid,” She sighed.

“Why?” Eunseok asked, scooting closer.

“Because I missed you,” She looked up at him, lip quivering as she struggled to hold back tears. “And because I thought you missed me too,”

Eunseok’s heart began to ache, the constant panging from the night had caught up to him in those twelve words. He was at a loss for words, YN could tell he didn’t know what to say to her. Eunseok felt useless. He couldn’t even find the words to say she was wrong, too scared to say he missed her too.

The silence just caused YN to cry more, slumping forward, head in her palms as she cried. After a moment, Eunseok helped her up and walked her to her bedroom, knowing she needed sleep. YN laid down, and Eunseok brought her another glass of water. She was almost sober, exhausted, and now distraught. Eunseok saw YN curled up on her bed, facing away from the door, closed off to him once again. He walked towards the door, not knowing how to continue. Ready to chicken out when things got difficult, just like last time.

“Don’t go,” He heard her quiet voice as he reached for her doorknob. He looked back to see her peeking out of her blankets. As they made eye contact, he stepped away from the doorknob, and she sat up more.

Eunseok hoped he wasn’t dreaming, hoped that she wouldn’t regret that one question that had his heart leaping from his chest. They just stared at each other, Eunseok’s eyes wide, looking almost pained, YN’s teary, feeling hopeless.

“Please don’t leave me again,” She said through a small sob. That was all it took for Eunseok to make up his mind, almost immediately walking over to her, and wrapping his arms around her, holding her close, as if she would slip through his fingers if he didn’t hold her tight enough.

There weren’t many words spoken between them, just small sobs from both of them, whispered apologies, and silence they spent in each other’s arms.

After a moment, YN got up and brought Eunseok a pair of pajama pants that were a size too big for her and one of her t-shirts. She turned around while he changed, and when he said he was ready, saw him sitting on her bed, staring up at her, eyes a bit puffy from his own tears. YN laid down and they wrapped their arms around each other once again.

“Do you promise not to leave in the morning?” YN asked into Eunseok’s chest.

“As long as you don’t kick me out,” Eunseok kissed the top of her head. “I meant what I said that night,”

YN looked up at him.

“I missed you,” he told her. “I regretted ending things, and I missed you the moment I realized you were gone,”

“You could’ve told me,” YN whispered.

“I know,” he sighed into her hair. “I just thought you’d be better without me, after what I said to you,”

“I cried that whole week,” YN pinched his arm. “Why did you leave that morning?”

“I thought we hooked up or something,” Eunseok shrugged, loosening his grip around her to see her furrowed eyebrows. “Not that it would be bad! Just like- like…”

“Did you consider that your jeans were still on in the morning?” YN asked.

“I was in a rush, okay?” He sighed, and heard YN giggle.

There was a comfortable silence, Eunseok realized how whole he felt at that moment, holding his girl close.

“What now?” YN asked, leaning back and looking up at him. “What are we now?” she motioned between them with one hand.

Eunseok gently grabbed the hand, and pressed it against his lips. “I want to try again,” he stayed holding onto her hand. “I want to give us another shot,”

YN smiled as he said that, intertwining her fingers with his as she nodded. “Let’s try again,” She whispered with a smile that Eunseok mirrored.

As they looked into each other’s eyes, Eunseok leaned towards her, his nose brushing hers as he kissed her. He was gentle with his kiss, not wanting to push too far, just wanting her to know he cared. His hand held her cheek, thumb gently stroking her skin as he sweetly kissed her. They broke the kiss with a smile to each other.

They were both able to fall asleep, knowing that they would be okay. Neither of them would leave before the other woke up.

And they would try again in the morning.

The long awaited part 2 😝 thank you to everyone who was patient!!!

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