#people trust him so much

[troglodytemignon]

More work stuff under the cut

it's dawning on me how much I have absorbed from my boss' behavior in two years here, like the paranoia, the never writing anything down, never trusting anyone, tying my self image to the lab, lying to let outside people think that things are ok, and I think most shamefully, thinking way more about what I can gain from relationships I form. My phd advisor asked me wtf is going on with my boss and I stayed super vague in writing, thinking I would talk to him when I see him. But why? what am I afraid of? They have zero points of contact! And I keep thinking about how he told me like 1.5 years ago that people I was collaborating with were spreading rumors about me, and that I had to be careful about what I told them, and how I then held back from ever asking them for help or showing any sign of weakness. Of course I believed him, I had no reason to believe he would lie to me! And even now I still don't know, so much of my perception of the rest of this university is coming from what he told us, I literally don't know what I know anymore, all I have to anchor me is my friendships with close colleagues who are all quitting.

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

How much longer 'til your luck runs out?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[velvetwyrme]

damn those conses do quence (/j /j, unfortunately[...?] no bug mpreg took place here)

anyway, woe, grub be upon ye. tbc... whenever i finish the many other things i need to do lol.

i did this instead of making an ask blog because i dont have the time or energy to upkeep that atm, but honestly?? it probably wouldve just be easier to make an ask blog instead of... doing whatever this is LMAO,,, but i had fun so its ok sklvfjbfkbdb,,

next

[beastlyidiocy]

Feuċ, súile Dé go fuireaċ air

[eggbagelz]

abt to go seal hunting with peepaw

[lazycranberrydoodles]

they are so in love and disgusting and also sarcastic bitches. follow for more / prev comic / next comic

[littlecrittereli]

Guardianship au,,,,,save me guardianship au,,,,,,,

If you don’t mind the questions, how’d the Tortuga gang react to Chris tagging along? I assume they understood Chris would be joining them early on into Martin being accepted, but I imagine the situation was more like. Martin snagging a new job on the Tortuga >> realizing he can’t take this job and leave his brother alone >> Chris says don’t worry just take me with you >> Martin nervously asking heyyyyyyyy is it cool if my little brother comes with?

Obviously everyone had to be cool with it eventually, but do you know what Aviva, Koki, and Jimmy had going through their heads when a mildly emo, 14yo Chris rolled in with a deeply anxiety-ridden Martin?

This is kinda the awkward phase of the team's relationship where they know Martin is struggling, but he's not willing to let them help just yet.

The second Chris finds out about the Tortuga it becomes his life-mission to convince Martin to let him go on the trip (it will not be difficult at all to convince him)

Martin is just hesitant because he wants to make sure he's not being selfish in his decision to join the team. Of course Chris wants to go too, but Martin is trying to think of his best interest.

Of course, he eventually realizes that the team genuinely cares about them and he's willing to let them help out with Chris, and then the found-family can commence!!!

[raiiny-bay]

Love, Dhes

Parker,

It's unfair how time with you feels so short. How the last 10 years have felt like no time at all. I like to think there are other versions of us out there, somewhere. Maybe in another timeline, another universe. I like to think we find each other no matter where we are or what we're doing. That we're together and happy and I get to love you in a dozen different lifetimes. That's what I hope, anyway. And I hope when this lifetime ends, we get to start over and do it all again. Because once just isn't enough. Not for me. Not with you.

I hope the next 10 years pass slower.

Love, Dhes

[justaz]

merlin (immortal) giving arthur (pendragon) the only blade that could kill him

[fear-no-mort]

favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this

[arcticclimes]

There's been an incident on Terror.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.

[bithcisweartogod]

no but it’s so sad how lu guang used to think that even the smallest alteration from the events of original narrative could change everything beyond repair but now he sees time as something almighty, something he’s unable to fight against. i wonder what he could’ve tried to do that lead him to thinking that time is THAT powerful. and how devastating it is to understand that you’re absolutely helpless, that nothing you do means anything, again and again it’s all the same, from “hey newcomer, wanna play basketball with us?” to “save them, lu guang” but he can’t. cheng xiaoshi passes the ball and whatever lu guang does he is destined to miss this time. cheng xiaoshi passes the ball and lu guang only worsens the situation. and still he keeps on trying. because cheng xiaoshi put his trust into him.

[sciderman]

avenging spider-man #13