#people are more selfish and cruel
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it can’t just be me. the world really feels like it’s gone to complete shit since covid19
#stfu juls#vent#people are willfully stupid#a rise in far right rhetoric#people are more selfish and cruel#genuinely if I had the money I’d isolate deep into the forest and live off the grid on my own. idgaf anymore. who fucking cares.
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one thing i really wish people wouldn’t forget when it comes to suguru’s character is that his core desire is just to have a family. not in a nuclear family way, but in a “i want a place where i belong / i want to protect the ones i love” way…… literally everything else is just an extension of that desire. a means to meet that end. he broke down after being forced to realize that staying with his family meant having to watch them die, so he left and made a new one. and he got stronger. and his core wish was always, always always to create a world where he’d finally be able to protect them :(((((((((
#don’t get me wrong geto is absolutely twisted and deluded and downright cruel#and that’s not something you should or could look away from when analyzing his character#but i also think it’s wrong to look away from this part of him because it’s in EVERYTHING he is and does!!!!!#one of the big tipping points for him was the realization that being a sorcerer meant choosing civilians over his family#he just wanted a place where he belonged. he just wanted his loved ones to be safe#suguru is very very selfish at his core and a big part of that selfishness is connected to those desires#he protects His People. his family.#he loves them so sincerely and protects them so fervently#idk it’s just . easy to forget i think. because cult leader geto is bitter and sad and pathetic#but he also has such a sincere love for those he keeps close and i think that makes him sooooo much more interesting#like yes his goal was stupid but that goal was never the actual point. he just needed it to keep himself alive#he needed something to give his actions Meaning#and the something he ended up settling on was the idea of a world where he could protect his loved ones .#and that says soooo much about him…..#sorry i woke up thinking of him </3#my princess 😔😔#ari noises ✩
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Jod as Peter Pan, Jod as the one who never grew up, and that’s Bad because he’s stuck in immaturity, and immaturity means endlessly repeating the same cycles that led to him, not growing beyond them, and that’s Bad!! It hurts him and everyone else to be that way!
#it’s not like oh his trauma made him a villain it’s that taught him some lies#and he believed them and continued to believe them and then he repeated them himself in the world#he believed people were always going to be selfish and cruel and stab you in the back#so he acted that way first toward them#he became the cycle!#perpetuated it!#he saw his mom figure killed senselessly and it controlled the rest of his life#and then he tried to control the kids life with it too#by repeating it!#acting the lie into being more and more! reinforcing it!#which is why it’s such an huge huge moment of mercy when his whole terrible worldview comes crashing down#as he watches some people. be kind and come help. because the kids gave them a chance to#whyyyyy is this show so amazing#skeleton crew#it says growing up isn’t realizing the world is scary and people are mean#it’s realizing there’s hope and people to help and one of those people should be you#skeleton crew spoilers
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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honestly i think duncan reminds varric more of cole than literally anyone else
#the compassion thingie in his oc profile was totally intentional. he's like overly empathetic almost to a fault#playing really really really hard into the ''he tends to think in straight lines'' thing. duncan's motivated almost entirely by compassion#and he refuses to be demoralized by the corruption of man#tevinter CAN change the people here ARE redeemable#the wardens SHOULD change there DOES have to be a line in the sand#he basically goes through the same character arc as trisha (whose healing spirit is compassion ❤️ teehee)#except where trisha learned that the world is cruel and in order to save it you have to be cruel too#duncan learned the world is cruel and mankind is selfish. but that just means you have to be even more kind.#i was only barely joking about the steven universe thing.#duncan finch
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ngl it sort of pisses me off the way adults regard Gojo in Jujutsu Kaisen at times. Which could be a very interesting and poignant point in a good way if well written, but as it is it becomes mainly just frustrating and sad in a negative way.
Nanami saying Gojo never cared about anything or anyone other than himself crashes interestingly with Kusakabe saying the whole situation was just all his fault because he refused to kill Itadori. The students are very aware of those aspects of Gojo's personality, but overall they seem to regard him with way more kindness and fondness even when at their rudest, not truly coinciding with either Nanami's or Kusakabe's views.
#Kusakabe's words are harsh and negative but there's some true and some logic to them#but in beholding the entire story and the whole context‚ especially with the flashbacks in mind‚ in getting to know the sweet kid Yuuji is‚#the reader is made to find Kusakabe's words a bit outrageous and cruel and Gojo's position becomes the obvious one like Nanami's was#Like Kusakabe's is too in a way since he too says no matter what it's always the adults' fault whatever the cause was#And following the story we see Gojo cared a lot about those kids and them keeping their youthful cheerfulness if in his very flippant way#That's basically his main constant thread. We see it at the very beginning in what he did for Yuta and how Yuta is so fond of him#We see him at the very end in a way too with the letters he left#And his entire motivation was changing the very messed up society to avoid the kids going through what he and his friends went through#and to prevent them from being lonely the way he felt he was. Ontologically alienated. Entirely othered#And of course it's in part him keeping people away like Shoko. Or even Yuta (though here again it's at the core of his action his attempt#at protecting the kids and trying to prevent them from growing too fast)#And of course this is motivated by his own experiences and in that sense not entirely a selfless act#But those things still don't negate that his goal was for the future kids to be... in a better situation than what he and his friends lived#So Nanami's words are very cruel and... blind. Of course it's possible that Gojo's way of approaching the problem is still something#Nanami would regard as selfish (but it could be argued that so is Nanami's)‚ or that Gojo's perception of Nanami's way of thinking#about him would be this negative. But what we see through the story absolutely contradict Nanami's words in that airport#And though both Nanami's words and Kusakabe's are negative in regards to Gojo‚ they in a way contradict each other#The kids' words and way of seeing Gojo is most of the time more... accurate? If also diverse among them#They see him like an idiot. They trust him. They think he's childish and annoying. They love him#They find him flippant. They know he cares about them. In a way they see both what Kusakabe and Nanami say about him#The negative. And the ultimate positive aspect at the core of it all. That Gojo did care and that Gojo did take care#and that Gojo risked and sacrificed a lot for them and that Gojo was doing this in great part because of his own past#Yuta perhaps is the one who sees it best but it's so interesting too the dynamic Maki‚ Yuuji and Megumi have with Gojo‚ his acts and antics#And this whole thing‚ this frivolous and even... cruel way most adults seem to regard Gojo and how it clashes with the kids' deep feelings#about him (beyond the initial 'he's an untrustworthy idiot' though those as well!') is super interesting and super sad and super juicy#OR IT COULD BE bc in the end all that happens is that Nanami says that and Gojo pouts comically or that Kusakabe makes that offhand comment#as if it held no weight‚ as if Yuji weren't present and had never agonised over it‚ as if Gojo hadn't lost his life trying to save the kid#And yes he risked more than his life but he was trying to save a kid bc another kid (bc Megumi!) asked. But maybe it didn't matter if no one#asked. He saved Yuta too. Of course he would have risked it all. In his mix of selfishness and selflessness. Everything is so juicy#yet the writing feels so dry and lame. There's no pondering. There's talk of guilt and grief without any true sense of grieving or loss
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Idk why there's disbelief over Mark S/Helly in terms of motivation. Helly is just as capable of cruelty and selfishness as Helena. They are at the core of it, the same person with different memories/experiences. They can be two perspectives worthy of indulging their own dreams and desires and also be the same person. Narratively here especially, this isn't about morality, it's about human nature.
Helly was never cruel, sure, of course. Helly felt like she was the same as the other people in MDR. But Helly has something right now that she never even achieved as Helena. Someone who loves her. Someone who is choosing her. Helly is Winning over Helena here.
Jame Eagen wanders down just to be a freak and reinforces the reality of it. Helly is "More" than Helena, hasn't been worn down by the weight of experience and the world (and their cult and corporate bullshit). She still has, in some way, the innocence of youth and lack of experience with the world. She doesn't have the same fears and burdens or triggers as Helena in her conscious experience. She still has the ability to express her passions and outrage and defend herself. And to love and not feel sorry for it.
Severance gave Helena a chance to exist without the learned perspectives and burdens of the Eagens and she is able to be free with herself and her passions and desires-- whereas Helena was likely drained of any dreams for potential beyond a strictly guided future decades ago.
Of course Helly is feeling a rush of joy and satisfaction over Mark loving her. Mark choosing her. She tried to do the "right thing" by being logical with Mark. "I'm her." Even outside of Lumon, if they bring it all down, there's no hope for an Eagen and an ex-severed employee in reality. In the Real World they will never be together. Mark couldn't love Helena, how could anyone love an Eagen? (Poor Helly really with like, the enemy is within etc, but that's kinda the situation framed by Lumon for everyone by setting the stage with your Innie isn't human kinda rhetoric.) (This was also reinforced by Helena trying to get close to Mark to see if he still had feelings or chemistry with her and finding out they were not going to work outside Lumon.)
What if the equator is a building that could be a continent? Can be their whole world? They're choosing to live Now. Together in the present despite knowing that with their half lives, they could be brought to an end at any moment. It's very willful young love of them. And why wouldn't it be? This is their First Love. They haven't even been "alive" that long or have any memory of romance beyond their current infatuation. They don't know the world or it's places, and maybe that's okay, maybe they can exist in this space so long as they have love and the others.
It's completely human for Helly to accept Mark choosing her. To run to him just to see him for maybe the last time. It's human for Mark S to run to Helly. It's human for poor Gemma, who doesn't even know her fucking husband is severed, to be pounding on the door.
But this is their Final Day to Mark and Helly. Maybe the very end of their world. It's Judgement Day. Of course they'd have them holding hands and running back to the unknown to face the end together. To die together.
There is also zero fucking chance Mark Scout would risk his life and brain continuing reintegration once his wife is back. Mark Scout is going to choose his wife. Mark is choosing Love on both sides here.
All of it is reasonable.
#this is true for all the innie/outie combos like#lets not forget theyre the same person. yes they are also separate and deserve to be respected in their experiences#in my mind theres a post credit scene of Devon dragging Gemma to a car and them driving to a secure location bc I can't live otherwise#unfortunately the severed floor is literally their world. has been all this time. all they know by design.#anyway. selfishness is so normal to the human experience and motivation. survival. love. growth#im going to be thinking about platos cave allegory stuff now actually. ough#anyway its 3am and this is all i can thnnk about#personal q#severance spoilers#read more bc mindless brain ramble got long#i love all the characters in this show I hope hope hope Gemma gets a focus in S3#i actually loved the reintegration bits but narratively it would change some of the themes more at this time#theyd have had to make full reintegration the only way for mark to save gemma to make it happen#i need gemma to get so much therapy and care. lumon better not touch her ever again im really so serious#im going to be emotionally devastated ny Mark turning for months#good news fucking up cold harbor probably means that whatever fuckery Jame had planned for Helena/Helly is probably also fucked#could you imagine tho if we actually get fresh 'severed' personas for them if Lumon abducts them all to a compound somewhere#if s3 starts like Just Another Day in the Office I'll scream#I'm starting to wonder if this whole draining the tempers experiment thing#is about being able to provide them for others as a rejuvenation thing now actually aha just from writing this#i think using Helly Wasnt Cruel to try to contain her character is very infantilizing like theyre not children they're striped of knowledge#and of experience#this is all very is love stored in memory or the soul etc. do the people in the cave want to leave the cave when the shadows on the wall ar#the only representation of reality they've ever known#this show is just like art/literaty analysis of themes its so pretty and tragic and terrible#severance#sorry added for the mutuals who dont need to see my taste in tv on my supposed gaming blog#idk a lot of this season was also helly spreading the concept of division from outie persona stuff which makes sense for her#but then getting to look back at gemma and see maybe an outie as a person etc too like. ough
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i honestly don't know why i like isagani sometimes Tbh. everyone is so Divided abt him i get it like he threw away the lamp for a girl that didnt even want him back anymore
#noli me tangere#el filibusterismo#el nolibusterismo#actually idk if i can defend him either LOL#i need to reread el fili actually cus im running on vague details atp#i also think people r too cruel on him like guys he's a loverboy! he still cared for her! he's also Young#and you can also argue that he sacrificed the revolution For That which makes the whole thing even more ridiculous#but the more i think abt the “what if” the lamp had actually gone off i think it'd end in even more unecessary violence#its not that “violence is not the answer” sometimes it is! but simouns revolution was built on PERSONAL vengeance !#if isagani sacrificed freedom for his love then simoun was inevitably going to destroy the country for his revenge#its love either way but in its most selfish and extreme forms#if u think im wrong its okay i just like this guy i don't want to fight...Huuuu
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i keep thinking of asterion almost killing himself trying to bring back rakiel for years because he believes this is the only way he can atone for what he did to his child, this is the only way he can finally do his duty as a father and the only thing he can do for the son that he lost. for both of them.
and theo doesn't. really know how he's supposed to feel about it. if he should be glad their father is trying so hard to bring his brother back. if he should be bitter because it's too little too late. if he should try to stop him or not. if he's supposed to want to keep his father alive or to have his brother back more. if he should hold onto what little broken parts of his family there's left or latch onto the almost non-existent hope of having the part he cares the most about once more.
but there is a small part of him that wonders if there's something wrong with him. if there's something he's missing. if there's something about him that just makes him not worth staying for.
and he still doesn't really trust his father, he still hasn't quite forgiven him for everything he made them go through, he doesn't really quite know if he really wants or can be a family with the man when it was his brother that made them even resemble one in the first place but. he doesn't want to be alone either. he doesn't want to be left behind again.
it doesn't really matter though. his father has never listened to him when it comes to his petty little feelings about family. why would he start now.
#i talk a lot <3#cpsm#cpsm spoilers#asterion magentano#theodore magentano#and like i do think a part of theo *would* think if might be worth it. it just might be worth the price if he can have rakiel back.#and it's selfish and cruel and he doesn't like that part of him but he knows it exists and it feels almost worse if he pretends otherwise.#and he's also thorn because he wishes he could risk his life like that he wishes it could be his blood that brings his brother back#he wishes he could be the one to pay that price. but he has a duty and he made a promise and there's an empire worth of people#expecting him to fulfill the responsibility he was born for. it's the very reason he exists in the first place.#and he doesn't know what would make him more of a coward he just know he'll be one no matter what he chooses.
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i am angry that it is a rare thing to be kind.
#it baffles me how much more selfish people there are than compassionate#that even in intimate relationships ppl can be so cruel
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Is Book VI: The Russian Monk the true message and correct position in the entire book? Well. Not exactly. Zosima is Dostoeyvsky's "ideal man" in the same way Jesus was his idea of an ideal man. Does this ideal man stay standing in the whole of the narrative? Not even Dostoevsky knew that! I'm citing a citation in Bakhtin's book here, but while he intended The Russian Monk to be the answer to The Grand Inquisitor, he wasn't sure whether it would be "enough". The author himself didn't know if he would be able to dethrone the idea he had let out into the text.
#for a guy who is chauvinistic about russia he sure paints a nonflattering picture of rusian people#The town is filled with hypocritical selfish and cruel people#Not to mention filled with vice#And right after Zosima talks of his faith in the people they turn against him so easily#That fascinates me#The author's beliefs only makes this stand out more#gegengestalk#tbk
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not opening twitter or reddit idc what anyone else thinks perfect finale to me
#im so sick of people moralizing characters in media shut uppppp you’re so boring how do you think the world works honestly#idk maybe it’s the two degrees in film but characters are going to be selfish and incorrect and cruel and whatever cause that’s what people#are like lmao it’s not much more complicated than that actually. all of them are compelling to me bc they are entirely human#diary#tv
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i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit
#sorry. i dont think theres any good and plausible explanation for rhine to still be a kind or gentle person in general#she can (and SHOULD) have her moments. but it'd make so much more sense (and be much more impactful) for her to be inherently cruel#because look at all the stuff thats happened#i love the indomitable human spirit trope. dont get me wrong.#but rhine has that in the way she WONT stop her research till shes either dead or murdered. she is not gonna be gentle kind and optimistic#she watched all her kids (that she was SHOWN to care for) get very brutally murdered.#had to then go and kill her next creations that she didn't consider perfect (which most certainly fucks a women up. no matter what you say)#made the 'perfect creation' and the way she treated him was obviously a HUGE contrast to how she was before (being gentle and nuturing)#and left him (albeit with what we can guess was good intent) with NO goodbye just#a recommendation letter. a text. and his final mission#she could have good intent#and still care for others#dont get me wrong!!!!!!!#but shes. human???#humans can be (as much as i hate to say it) a tad selfish when it comes to survival#and being antagonized demonized AND shunned by teyvat and even her own people. having to survive multiple gods wrath#isn't. gonna be good for the human psych#and it isn't gonna be something fixable#look at how furina progressively faltered over a hundered years WHILE being adored#she already started waning in her ethics and morals (as someone immortalized as a human WOULD)#with exposing lyney and all of that when it was VERY clearly the morally wrong thing to do (which her as a human would know)#and being relatively pessimistic and clearly spiralling#(no hate. i love furina with all my heart.)#if thats how FURINA started going#imagine rhine who has nobody (save maybe alice. but i doubt she'd be constant given her spontaneous nature and refusal to sit still)#shit man. even I'D go crazy and be horrible.#its okay and natural to be bitter#and its not as if anybody was there to help#hexenzirkel has a ton of women who survived their own nations falling yes#but not ONE of them (from what we know) has had circumstances any where near rhine's
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I'm not done listening to the Alex Hirsch interviews but god it just reminds me both of how much I miss this show and how much I appreciate the love and care that went into it. I love listening to him talk about the characters with a frankness and care that shows how much he values them being three dimensional beings.
#notably his answer about mabel in lost legends i thought was strong of like#yeah were going to give her a story that shes flawed in thats the point of a story#i still dont *love* dont dimension it bc i think it doesnt completely hit what theyre aiming for#the Mabels Fault is so weirdly pointed and bizarre#and her apology at the end is like. eh. bad. it needs another draft i think it needs more space to be explored.#ive been thinking a *lot* about 'mabel hatred' as i think about the show again#i do need to rewatch the show before i make a long comment on it#and how much of it began from people being frustrated that she was continually denied a proper episode where she was allowed to be wrong#in an interesting way#love god in particular is. weird.#and last mabelcorn felt like the beginning of an arc that didnt really happen#like that she was always untouchable in a sense#and that argument was co opted by people who were just unbelievably cruel to her and completely unreasonable#let me be clear: mabel hatred is overblown and absurd and i hate it s omuch#but i also dont like it when people put her on a pedestal of Perfect Unflawed Glitter Goddess#while also being like wow look at the depth of dipper#if youre going to say mabel cant be selfish because shes 12 you also cant say dipper has depth bc by that logic hes also 12#anyway im sure someone will misinterpret these tags thats why theyre in the tags#mary blabs
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how to balance core conviction that people are fundamentally self-interested with lifetime of experiences proving otherwise
#the amounttt of people who BOTHER ME.#and like yeah yeah to be human is to be bothered to share the burden but like#manyyy times ppl go OUT of their way to be cruel and#i am as vindictive and petty and jealous as anyone but#can we chill. can we mind our own business primarily.#local man discovers many people are not as selfish as he is and whines about it more at 12
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someone on twitter is livetweeting ORV and experiencing their villain awakening, and anw this throwback hit me hard enough that this sentiment ended up being a significant part of the zombie AU
#mimin trying to write#zombie au#me @ tesilid thru hestio: WHY CANT YOU BE SELFISH???? WHY ARENT YOU SELFISH#genuinely it's so cruel that tesilid alone has to bear all this and that tesilid for a significant period of time just ACCEPTED it#like fuck that shitttt. who cares if everyone dies or is frozen in time kind of vibes#ailette going from 'yeah actually that world should just explode' to 'fuck i LIVE in this world and it has people i love' type of deal#teshes is fun bc it explores so many aspects of tesilid angst that tesi/lette kind of solves#like. hestio saying this wouldnt even be very out of character bc he and ephael hv been ragging on tesilid for being so#okay with suffering and sacrificial for AGES#and hestio is more aggressively critical of tesilid than ephael is
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