#people always forget they can straight up kill mc at the beginning

[harlequinoccult]

HOST GETS A KILL SCENE?! 😍😍😍

i mean. yeah. technically their second one.

[sevendeadlymorons]

Could you maybe do something about the brothers (and maybe Diavolo) with a MC that came from an abusive relationship in the past? You don't have to, but I really like your writing! So I figured I'd ask.

As a victim of past abuse myself, of course I’ll write this, darling

Brothers Reaction to an MC That Came From an Abusive Relationship

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Lucifer

When you two first met, he quickly noticed how withdrawn you were from him touching you in any way and often flinching from him even remotely raising his hand around you

He never really planned on taking notice of your peculiar behaviour until you two officially started dating and the signs really started to get worrying...

He noticed the occasional signs of distress coming from you when he raises his voice or even just shows you basic affection and immediately decides to talk to you about it

He can hardly believe it when you slowly begin to tell him that you used to be in an abusive relationship and just can’t really fully recover from it

Who would dare hurt you. He’s honestly heartbroken for you and he can’t completely get over the anger he felt inside when you first told him

Takes time out of his day to regularly shower you in love and affection, and has began to start to ask you for permission first, as he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable

Compliments you pretty much every second. He wants to let you know he’ll never harm you and just how incredible you truly are

Mammon

When he first saw you; his first reaction was to immediately charge towards you, but he noticed how flinchy you were and he could’ve swore he saw a ping of fear flash through your eyes for a mere second

Tends to ignore all the signs, but does sometimes pick up on the way you tense up when he places a hand in your shoulder, and that honestly makes him really worried

When you two started dating, and you began to further stray away, and even reject his affection, he decides to ask why you’re so withdrawn from him

To hear you’d been in an abusive relationship in the past makes his blood boil and his heart hurt in a way he’s never experienced before

Why would anybody hurt you? You’d done nothing wrong... and you’re so kind?

He honestly wanted to break down and hug you tighter than he ever had before but restrained himself because he knew he may scare you, and he never wants that

Tries his best to give you time snd space when you want it, but doesn’t hold back when it comes to cute texts every 10 seconds, telling you how much he loves you

Leviathan

At first he thought you were just shy, like him, but when he saw the pained look in your eyes when he first insulted you, it just didn’t sit right with him

He quickly became the main person to stick around you and you two soon began to date. Neither of you were very touchy with eachother though, so it wasn’t until later into the relationship when he began to see the signs

He thought it would be cute to give you a surprise hug from behind one night, but immediately let go when he felt your entire body tense up and you spun around to turn him like he was about to hurt you?

He asked you what he did wrong but didn’t expect to hear about how you were previously abused

His heart practically sank at your words and he felt both worried and angry for you, and he couldn’t stop thinking about what cruel person would harm you in any way

He wants to see you improve and he really wants to be there every step of the way

He starts to refrain from touching you without your permission in fear of scaring you, but never forgets to send you multiple texts on how much he appreciates and likes you and constantly brings you random little gifts now

Satan

Couldn’t shake off the way you looked at everyone with this look of terror in your eyes, especially him. Even when he accidentally startles you, you look like you have this huge guard up that he can’t seem to break down

There was a time when he shouted at you for dropping a plate and you raised your hands to cover your face. He’s tried his best to never raise his voice around you again after that. He never wants to see that look again. Ever

When he started dating you, the once minor signs became more noticeable, and his acts of random affection always looked like they troubled you

He felt he needed to bring it up with you but he never honestly expected you to just let it all out to him. Hearing about your past made his heart hurt and he felt so much rage towards your abuser

He vowed right there and then to show you unconditional love, for as long as he lives. He’ll never treat you like how you were treated previously

He does research on how to help and what you may be feeling. He will help you. He wants to see you flourish

He tries not to be clingy as he knows space is important to you, but sometimes he just can’t stop himself from inviting himself in your room to read, or to show you a book or to play with the neighbouring cats with you

Asmodeus

Being around a whole load of different people and been in many relationships, he can always tell the signs early on. So seeing you withdraw yourself away from his affection is always an issue

He never likes to jump to conclusions though, so he thought perhaps you were just quite shy or didn’t like to be touched

But as you two got closer and eventually got together, he started to really notice the way you jumped and flinched at his surprise attacks of love and affection

Feeling worried, he asks you about it one night, his face completely dropping at the words that came out your mouth; anger and confusing swarming his emotions

How could people be so cruel? And to hurt someone as innocent and sweet as you? He wants nothing more than to show you how much better he is than them

Little by little, he’ll slowly begin to give you affection like kisses or hugs, constantly asking if you’re alright and if he’s allowed to touch you. He’ll slip in multiple little compliments every now and then just to boost you up and remind you how amazing you are and you should never forget that

He treats you well. You want a massage? On it. Nails painted? Absolutely. A shoulder to cry on? Any time you want. He just wants to help you because he can’t get enough of you

Beelzebub

Always wonders why you keep your head down around him. He can agree that he pretty much towers over you but he’d never intentionally hurt you...?

Tries to slowly introduce himself to you with different foods and warm smiles. He’s never felt happier when you smile back and eventually musters up the courage to ask you out

He’s affectionate over you straight away, asking for kisses and hugs, but doesn’t always notice how wary you are of his unexpected shows of affection

So when he came up behind you and wraps his arms around you one day, you stiffen up and attempt to push whoever was holding you still away. He notices this and lets go, apologising

You decide to tell him about how you were previously in an abusive relationship and he feels so hurt by what you were telling him, honestly close to crying. He slowly places his hand over yours and smiles at you

From then on, he swore to be your own personal body guard. He wants to protect you and keep you safe, and show you how imprortant you are to him and how much he really loves you

His random texts to you at god knows what time in the morning when he can’t sleep are always littered with emojis and kisses and just blatant tooth rotting sweet stuff that is guarantee to make you smile

Belphegor

Honestly took no notice of the clearly obvious signs of distress as, well, he did kill you once after all

When you flinched when his head hit your shoulder, or when his cruel sarcasm made your eyes turn into those of a puppies’ or even when he’d get all up in your space when napping and you turned as stiff as stone; he didn’t notice

Not until you two started dating though, and his affection increased, causing you to look as uncomfortable as you sound. He thought you were still just not over the time he murdered you though, but he presumed it was time to ask what was up

Never in his life would he have expected to hear you were a victim of past abuse. He thinks back to the shit he put you through and he has to stop himself from throwing himself on to you and hugging you as tight as he possibly can

He wants to find the person who hurt you and show them how it feels, how much they hurt you. He’s so angry but composes himself for you

He promises never to hurt you again, or let anybody else hurt you for that matter. He does his best to remember that you may not want to take a nap with him every hour, or you may not like his surprise tickle attacks either, and he’s ok with that!

He’ll be patient, as long as you let him love you unconditionally. He’ll never stop telling you how precious you are and how you didn’t deserve to be put through what you went through in the past

Diavolo

He guesses your lack of communication towards him is due to his position and his overall height difference from you. He supposes he can see how he may come off as threatening to you...

He didn’t realise coming up behind you to surprise you would be a bad idea when you turned around to face him quite suddenly with a slight look of panic in your eyes. It worries him, to say the least

When the day came when you two finally decided to date; the signs kicked in more clearly to him

It started off as small as jumping at the sight of him raising his hand, to flinching when he suddenly makes a loud noises, like laughter or just blatant yelling

Hearing for the first time about how you were treated in yoir past relationship was like getting an arrow to his chest. It hurt him like he’s never been hurt before. His smile fades as he thinks of what to do, but all he can think of is rubbing your shoulder as you cry

He will let nobody hurt you ever again. He’s on constant alert when it comes to you and always makes sure you’re happy and smiling. He’ll tell you jokes, and compliment you and text you funny things that’s happened in the castle throughout the day

Your health is the most important thing to him and he’ll be constantly checking up on you, and always asking for your permission to touch you, or at least letting you know when he’s about to hug you or kiss you

[unreasonablebehaviour]

Pls take this random assortment of dsmp “hcs” (which is actually just me rambling out my ass but we love to see it//)

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- Sam just like gets really fuccn energetic in a thunderstorm... like just hyperactive but also like v strong..... also immune to electrocution :)

- He’s also like all creepers are, shit terrified of cats which is v funny considering he’s sorta friends with ant

- Even funnier if u want to take the ‘canon’ fact of ant being a whole ass 20 feet tall

- Speaking of ant and this absolutely isn’t a hc but I just find it very funny that people draw humanoid versions of all of the non human characters EXCEPT for ant who I have only ever seen drawn as a cat ghgh

- Bads skin colour is deadass vantablack like if he holds his hand in front of his face it just seemingly vanishes and you can’t pick out where his hand ends and face begins

- I want him to look terrifying.... like absolutely massive a complete unit of a man, sharp ass teeth, sharp spikes and horns, sharp claws, white glowing eyes........... but he’s just like “owo” at all times ghgh

- Skeppy has chronic pain from the diamonds growing inside his body and out of his skin... sometimes he ramps up how cheerful he is to try and hide how much pain he’s in that day

- Ranboo’s body is longer on his enderman side and so he physically can’t stand up straight unless his shorter leg is on a slope

- He’s half silverfish... mainly cause I think that’s funny like hehe both those and endermen are linked to the end/stronghold and can break blocks

- This does also mean he joins bad and skeppy in the ‘help I am v spiky’ club tho

- Also also like absolutely none of his clothes fit cause his limbs are so disproportionately long so rip his ankles in the tundra I guess

- Shortza supremacy

- Sapnap... blaze boy..... I want him to steam when he angy...... v warm to the touch and all of the dteam lay on top of him when it’s cold lmao

- George is like some weird ass mushroom man.... like he looks completely human for the most part but he’s not he just never tells anyone cause he has the mentality of ‘well no one ever asked?’ Or ‘it didn’t seem important’

- When he’s in danger the surrounding plants try to help him (like lmao there’s a war goin on? Nah just take a nap and miss out so you won’t get hurt :) )

- Imagine how much funnier the lmanberg saga would be if schlatt just looked like his profile icon rather than his mc skin.... just cute tiny sheep man in a sweater... I think it’d be like that one gif of the teddy bear slamming its head onto the table to acquire angy eyebrows

- Dreams has symmetrical white patches down the front of skin... kinda like vitiligo but not? Like deadass pure white

- I also kinda just imagine him having creepy solid black eyes ghgh (haha it’s cause he’s possessed)

- He’s immortal and kinda just snapped tbh like half the reason his actions are so manipulative, selfish and drastic are both because he’s so desperate to have control over things in his life and because low-key he kinda hopes that people will find a way to kill him off or get rid of the thing possessing him (I just want a happy ending :( make him not evil pls my poor heart can’t take a non happy for everyone ending//)

- Puffy is fluffy :) I will not elaborate further

- Revived people have creepy blacked out maybe kinda glowing eyes.... paler skin.... scars and phantom pains from their injuries....

- Phil just deadass found Wilbur hiding inside a fridge and took him home with him... wil just assumed the fridge was his mom and Phil found it too funny to correct him

- Tubbo is a moobloom hybrid and all the bees love him ok 💛

- I think it would be funny if dream just deadass can’t see shit through his mask rap considering all the feats he has done

- Phil is v old and ‘wise’ but is also fairly detached from reality as a result cause he can’t really remember what earlier parts of his life were like to understand how other people act

- I also think it’d be hilarious if he ironically had like 0 life skills... cooking? He’s shit at it. Sleep schedule? Never heard of it. Taxes? Isn’t that a state?

- The floors in the tundra trios homes are constantly being ruined by techno having hooves and Phil and maybe ranboo having claws... like u no how u can like dent and scrape a wooden floor with heels? Kinda like that

- Speaking of those three I also think it’d be very funny if they all collectively became useless or started fighting in the presence of a gold block cause like 👀 ‘oo gold/hehe shiny/hold block’ mentality

- Quackity can shapeshift.... but he’s like a ditto and always has the :] face.... mmm also maybe keeps any scars he has

- His ability to control this decreases the more he dies

- So like u could he talking to him and just suddenly he looks like someone else or like a weird mishmash of people and just hasn’t noticed lmao totally not freaky at all

- Literally non of the tundra trio are equipped for the weather like u have someone from the hot af nether, bird man who’d realistically be prone to hypothermia and someone who’s allergic to water like lmao why do yall live here what is wrong with you

- I want niki to just be very exasperated by this fact

- I want her to bake goods for her friends... tailored to their tastes.... cheer up food :)

- Also i forget when she changed her skin but I think it’d be very funny if she dyed her hair pink as an intimidation factor to tommy cause she knows he dislikes techno

- Puffy ily but I do not trust you with Tommy after the disaster that was bbh and skeppys relationship counselling

- The concept of the totems being foolish’s children is very funny to me like just the implication that he just leaves his kids in random chests for people to steal and that when they witness someone die they just explode with revive energy or something like w h a t

- Ghostbur either isn’t actually Wilbur and is just some entity pretending to be him hence the ‘poor memory’ OR him and limbo Wilbur are two halves of one entity

- I just find it v sus that he’s the only ghost that’s ever shown up... and regularly at that

- mmm tubbo hard of hearing.... relies on reading lips the best he can when to help clarify what people are saying but he can hear people well enough if they raise their voice quite loud

- cursed hc but what if ash and Zachary were somehow michael decendants and they like porkums cause he’s either originally a family friend or he just reminds them of stuff

- Ok half of these aren’t even hcs anymore and is just me rambling but who let Karl be in charge of the time travel he has such strong himbo energy

- That being said villain Karl when 👀//

- Why is tubbo like one of the smartest most accomplished people on the sever... he’s like 17..... like my man has been president, developed a new form of fast travel, has a family, developed a nuclear weapons program by himself, launched a man into space, developed a whole town and more .... like who let him have this much power he can barely read//

- I think it’d be funny if techno was just really bad at strategy games..... like ok technically he’s not bad at them but like he just spends 4 days analysing every last minute detail every round to optimise his chances of winning//

- I feel like people don’t give Jack enough credit for the fact he cheated death using nothing but spite

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Ateez: Your Relationship Being Outed

Kim Hongjoong:

Your companies had warned you that Dispatch had been keeping an eye on you two, hoping to get incriminating evidence that you two were indeed dating. After, sitting down and properly talking, your managers asked you both what you wanted.

Hongjoong and you looked at each other. You were both afraid, but knew for sure you wanted to go public with the relationship, you wanted to be able to be seen in public together.

"What do you think?" You asked your boyfriend, wanting to make sure he'd be ok with it.

Hongjoong smiled at you as his hand reached for yours.

"If it's ok with you, I'd like to go public about us."

And that's exactly what you two did. A few days later, you were prepared. Knowing full well Dispatch sent photographers your way, you both took a deep breath before linking hands together and walking out the building with your faces exposed. You two even waved and smiled at the cameras, having no fear or shame about your relationship, knowing deep down your fans would be happy and supportive about it.

Park Seonghwa:

This all started because a certain idol was hitting on you too much for Seonghwa's liking. You kept telling him you'd take care of it and not to worry about it.

"But how can I just stand there and pretend to be fine when they're eyefucking you right in front of me?"

He had enough one day. So when he saw said idol approaching you to bother you again, he spun you around and kissed you right in front of them and whoever else was around, warning the idol to back off from you.

And soon the idol's tweet about you two dating was spread like wildfire.

"I told you I'd take care of it, but no. You had to go jealous boyfriend mode and out us like that." You were stressed about this too much.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't regret anything." Seonghwa confessed.

He hugged you from behind and slowly swayed you side to side.

"We'll get through this together ok? Don't worry. Our fans will understand."

Jeong Yunho:

Since the beginning, Yunho wanted to make your relationship public. He adored you and knew Atiny would be ecstatic to know you two were dating. Fans often shipped you two for God's sake.

"I don't know Yunho....." You always told him.

"Why not? Don't you love me enough to let the world know?.......are you ashamed of me?"

You could hear his voice break and it killed you.

"Of course I love you! And I'm proud of you! But I'm scared that it might affect our careers and we'd be forced to leave each other."

Yunho wiped the tears that spilled out from your eyes.

"Nothing will ever break us apart. That's my promise to you." He kissed your forehead and gave you a reassuring smile.

And he spilled the news the only way he could: ANEWZ.

"This just in: there are rumors going around that Jeong Yunho and L/N Y/N are dating....." He looked at the camera and smiled.

"Indeed the rumors are true. "

Kang Yeosang:

Yeosang and you often snuck out at midnight for dates. Sure it was tiring, but seeing each other made you forget about your hectic schedules, the constant shove of cameras in your face, the pressure to be the perfect idols. None of that existed when you two were together. You were just Yeosang and Y/N.

Soon enough, a photo was leaked by a sasaeng. You both woke up to articles about the leak all over the internet. Yeosang quickly went to see you, wanting to make sure you were ok, although he was on the verge of crying too at the thought that you'd be forced to break up.

Karma has its ways though, fans supported you two and condemned the sasaeng for violating your privacy. Fan sites even were created just for the two of you. It was an overwhelming amount of support.

Yeosang couldn't be happier, even if his members liked to tease him about you any chance they got.

"Here's an easy one: what's Yeosang's favorite thing in the whole world?" Yunho asked the question he picked out from the box at one of their fanmeets.

"Y/N?" Wooyoung snickered, making everyone erupt in laughter as Yeosang got embarrassed.

Choi San:

San was another one who didn't felt the need to keep your relationship a secret.

"I wanna show you off to the world!" Was what he often said. But of course, you knew that was only half of the truth.

"And I also want other people to know you're taken and not try to take you away from me like they do." There it was. He was possessive and often wanted to out you two so others wouldn't hit on you so much.

He got the opportunity while he was doing a VLive. He was happily chatting away until a lot of comments kept asking him if you and him were dating, making him confused. He saw his phone and someone sent him a leaked photo of you two kissing on one of your dates. He was shocked to find out this way and didn't know what to say, but gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and finally spoke up:

"Atiny, I have someone to say.... it's true. I am dating Y/N. I fell in love with them and I'm really happy with them.....I hope that you can all understand..."

Comments flooded in, telling him not to apologize and encouraging him about the situation. He started crying at the beautiful messages.

"Thank you so much...you guys really are the best....also let me take this time to say..."

Wiping his tears, he looked dead straight at the camera:

"Y/N is mine so none of you other idols try to take them from me. I know who you are!"

Song Mingi:

Mingi and you tended to be very careful about your relationship. You wanted to just date peacefully without anyone bothering you two or having it become a topic for people discuss. And you thought you took good measures.

Apparently not good enough since an employee at one of your favorite cafes outed you two. They posted a picture of you two.

"This is bad." Mingi tried to remain calm.

"No it's not.....it's inconvenient. But not bad." You tried assuring him.

"Yes it is! What if our companies deny it? What if they force us to break up? What will I do then Y/N? I can't live without you."

You knew you had to be the strong one here for both of you, but you couldn't. You simply held Mingi tightly, sobbing and not wanting to let him go.

Your agencies decided to hold a press conference addressing the rumors about you two. They asked you two to be present, which made you even more afraid. But to your surprise, they confirmed your relationship and threatened legal action against anyone who spread malicious words about you two or violated your privacy.

Mingi and you stood there stunned, wondering if it was a dream or not. But you two were so happy that you could be together after all. You guys waved and smiled at the press, making your first public appearance as a couple.

Jung Wooyoung:

You both adjusted your face masks one more time, making sure that you were unrecognizable.

"How do I look?" Wooyoung asked you as he faced you.

"I don't know. I can't see your face." You snorted.

Even though his face was covered, you could tell he was not pleased with your answer and was giving you his stank face.

"Hahaha, very funny. Now come on. I wanna get there before too many people show up."

The date seemed to run by so smoothly. Since most individuals were wearing masks anyway, no one batted an eyelash at you two or found anything suspicious. You two could sit on a bench and Wooyoung felt comfortable enough to wrap his arm around you. Then you felt him stiffen and release his hold on you.

"Woo? What is it?" You asked him, noticing his shift in behavior.

He didn't answer you but simply stood up and walked over to a man sitting by himself near a fountain. By his walk, you could tell Wooyoung meant business.

"So who sent you? Dispatch?"

The man reddened, thinking he had been sneaky at his attempt to film you two.

Wooyoung smirked.

"I'll make your job easier for you. We'll just tell the public ourselves. That way you can just leave us alone and not stalk us. Have a nice day."

Wooyoung walked back over to you and you asked him what was that about.

"I hope you're ready baby. Cause we're coming out."

Choi Jongho:

It all spilled out cause Jongho had been working as an MC for Music Bank. His co-MC was overly flirty with him, and though he remained unfazed by her gestures, people still decided to ship them together. He absolutely hated it.

"Are you not even a tiny bit upset as well?" He asked you.

"Actually no. I know you only love me and they're just being a thirsty hoe. And it is funny to watch you whine about it." You couldn't help but find his reactions adorable.

Jongho had enough though one VLive when so many people were commenting things about his supposed relationship with said idol.

"Stop asking me how she is. I don't know what she's doing cause I'm not dating her! I'm dating Y/N!"

He gasped when he realized that he outed you two, right in the middle of a VLive.

Your agencies quickly put out a statement, confirming the related and apologizing for Jongho lashing out in anger, saying he was just stressed about things. But fans understood and supported you two.

"I still can't believe you told the whole world." You said to him the next time you saw him.

"Oh relax. Think positive. Now I can hold your hand in public without worrying about cameras."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Season 17x8 review

I'm kinda late but I haven't been sleeping lately so I finally managed to catch up with the episode today.

I'm still in shock from last weeks episode honestly but let's go. First I'm expressing my disappointment on the lack of Carina, she's a series regular on Grey's but all her scenes were on Station 19, I wish they would have brought Maya to Grey's just so I could feel good about seeing them cash in their regulars card. Then Deluca was laid to rest, another heart breaker seeing that they had just opened the realms of possibility for him and storylines but they just killed him off instead.

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Teddy

Teddy the biggest storyline at this point besides the funeral. At last we get to see what's really going on. Teddy hasn't been looking herself for a long time and it seems like Deluca's death was the breaking point for her, she was so scarred she didn't even want to wean Meredith off of the vent and when things are affecting your decisions as a doctor and not for the better, it's not a good sign. We'll get to see more of the storyline next week which honestly I'm excited to see. She managed to make me feel for her because despite everything she's done she's still the same old attachment barbie under there. I'm just glad Owen was able to put aside their differences and pick her up bridal side to take her home. The only thing I'm hoping is that it actually happens to be what the trailer was suggesting and not another Denny and Izzie situation because enough of the Grey Sloan doctors have had cancer and I'm definitely hoping that hey end the love triangle between her Owen and Tom or the better scenario in my opinion is let her get some space to breath and deal with healing without the pressures of relationship added to it.

___________________________________________

Meredith

Meredith honey, I'm gonna need you to take several feet away from Mc Dreamy, your kids and the hospital need you and you're getting a little too close to him for comfort. On that note I was once again glad to see Patrick Dempsey bless my screen as Derek Shepherd and it was as always a treat. When he talked about the kids, I'm so glad he knows about Ellis and they got to have several deep chats, so much so that I almost fell into the trap of wanting them to touch. She took a breath on her own which makes it seem as though she's improving but I don't want to get my hopes up and then have them trampled again like in the situation with Deluca waking up after surgery and then Meredith waking up only to end up on a vent in the same day.

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Bailey

I'm so glad that she's taking some time off. She's been running on empty since her mother died and she was beginning to remind me of the time with when she tested herself over and over again for staph with how obsessed she was about Deluca's autopsy, however with the amount of her fellow doctors she's lost its understandable plus Meredith the only one of her residents left is still on life support. If it wasn't for Richard she would have done some serious damage especially to Teddy who already was on edge. She definitely doesn't handle trauma well but besides Richard and Meredith she has experienced the most trauma. She's been through a lot and sometimes I think I tend to forget that.

And at least we got to see that small scene between her and Ben at the end so that was a plus.

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Richard

Is still holding up the walls of the hospital. It must be so hard for him to keep his faith with all he has been through, like I said before him, Meredith and Bailey have been through hell and back so I can definitely understand him feeling a little lost and losing his faith. However he didn't let that affect his keeping the Grey Sloan family together. I'm glad him and Catherine managed to make up because both of his support people are going through things of their own (Meredith and Bailey) so I was glads that she was able to be there for him and he didn't have to consider the thought of alchohol because that would just be too much at this point.

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Amelia and Link

Are doing really well right now as a couple, which scares me because whenever something seems to be going too well for a couple they throw a storm at them and I'm not ready to see their happy bubble burst just yet.

And Amelia has grown a lot her talking to Zola, she just said the right things. Mother hood as really changed her for the better. And does anyone else really want to see the letters that Zola wrote for Derek?

Link however felt the pressures of taking care of 4 kids constantly and I can understand I help out with my niece sometimes and by the end I want to pull my hair out and sleep in a corner for a week, farless 3 kids and a baby, I'm surprised he lasted so long.

Link headed to Jo's house in the middle of whatever agreement Jackson and Jo have going and got drunk. What I really liked about it though was that he went home afterwards and when he did Amelia didn't judge or yell she just talked to him and then hugged him which was amazing. They have a level of communication on the show that most of the other couples lack and it just works so well for them.

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Jo and Jackson

Jackson discovered just how much of a close friendship Link and Jo have and at some point he almost seemed as if he was jealous. Let the complications begin ladies and gentlemen. Plus there is the apparent potential of Dr Haynes turning it into a triangle. I guess one triangle dies to form another 🙄 and let's just say I'm not too excited for it.

Jo allowed herself to get drunk and vent which in my opinion was a step forward atleast. She hasn't really gotten the time to grieve over Alex because suddenly Covid happened and she was swamped with work. I'm just hoping that she does so that she won't accidentally sabotage any upcoming happiness she may have with someone else she needs to heal.

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Maggie and Winston

Poor Winston, he really doesn't know what he's signing up for by joining Grey Sloan does he 😭? Although I noticed last week he seemed to be getting the picture when Link was talking about Meredith and Derek. On the other hand seeing him with the kids was adorable, and he managed to give everyone some time to themselves without the kids which was a very big contribution. He's reminding me of a Ben which in no way is a bad thing. Go on Maggie get it.

Maggie was also devastated and shocked by Deluca as we all were and I'm so sad how their slowly but surely introducing her to the traumas of Grey's. She literally is the only pure one left and now she has to go through all the trials of the hospital until she's dark and twisty. I hope not though she's the only cheerful non broken one left on the show.

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Owen

Is about to have his hands full by next episode. He really is beginning to redeem himself after all Teddy did to him the whole episode he spent trying to make her feel better about Deluca and then picked her up to carry her home which confirmed my theory of it was always going to be Owen for Teddy, it was always Owen and Teddy even when she was married to ....... Henry 😭. I hope this will be the end of the over worked love triangle and they'll finally be able to move on especially Tom who deserves it.

___________________________________________

Haynes

Is utterly smitten with Meredith's children and was begging her to wake up and fight and surprise, surprise she took her first breath on her own. Honestly out of all the potential suitors for her which really isn't much considering one of them has now joined Derek as a permanent member of the beach, Haynes isn't a bad choice, I'm beginning to actually ship them. But then Krista said she was sensing a potential triangle with Jo, Jackson and Haynes and I hope not. I'm tired of the triangular pyramid of Grey Sloan love triangles. Just once I would like a relationship to be straight forward. They killed Deluca and the Teddy one is coming to an end, no need for another.

___________________________________________

Tom

Is still recovering from Covid and he seems to be going to live, a plus in the series so far.

___________________________________________

Levi and Nico

Are slowly getting closer, but I'm not rooting for anyone until Nico apologizes and they have an actual conversation about what happened without their clothes ending on the floor.

___________________________________________

Helm

Also was having a hard time coping and dealing with a bit of guilt about her over ambitious surgery hungry self. She actually reminds me of Cristina in a way, which is why I want Tom to be her teacher I really think their personalities will bounce well off of each other, especially in the episode where she had to check on Tom when he had Covid.

___________________________________________

Questions

• What's going on with Teddy? Owen said in the trailer he sees it in soldiers a lot but Grey's has a knack for reusing plots and her seeing Deluca is giving major Denny Izzie vibes, plus there's the chance that if it really is a brain tumor they'll pin all her recent choices on the tumor.

• Will someone tell Meredith they're are beaches in the real world as well, sure Derek won't be there and it probably wont be as peaceful but all I know is she needs to wake to hell up.

• What's going on between Jo and Jackson will they become more? Will they add Haynes to the mix?

• And most importantly when will Carina finally be seen in the Grey Sloan hospital? I need more Dr Carina.

[kindofwriter]

1, 6, 10, 12, 15 for the rqg asks?

Anon, I would die for you.

1. RQG characters are now the characters in another podcast you love. Whose places do they take, and how does this change the narrative?

I don’t know how well it works, but it has to be Penumbra, true love of my life.

Zolf would already make the perfect grizzled detective. I also think Juno’s s2 arc would be quite an accurate depiction of Zolf during the 18 month time gap, if we’d ever got to hear any of that.

I’d love love love to see Zolf and Sasha relationship transposed onto Juno and Rita. Rita and Sasha obviously couldn’t be more different, but I think they have a lot in common on paper: dangerous, hidden past, utter delight at new things, cares deeply and endless about the people they consider family, rejects any authority until it’s an authority they’ve chosen, then they have nothing but respect for them.

It would make sense for the crew of the Vengeance to be the crew of Carte Blanche, but we don’t really know them that well other than Earhart. So maybe Eldarion and Curie as Buddy and Vespa? That does rob Sasha of her opportunity to be knife wife 2.0, but I love her as Rita. Einstein and Earhart will collectively make up the sheer powerhouse that is Jet.

Wilde actually makes for a pretty great Nureyev. Smooth talking master of illusion? Hell yes! Plus, he’s never he focus of the story, which works well for an NPC.

I can’t remember his name right now, but Grizzop as that one guy in the HCPD that was actually trying to do a good job and implement change and, basically, abolish the HCPD!

Now Sasha and Mick are where characters may have to bend a little more. Desperately wants to stay friends with [Zolf] despite him constantly putting down his ideas, plus addiction issues? Kinda Hamid! But sweet, well meaning, and strong? That’s Azu! Social climbing + used to work with [Zolf]? Hamid! Hyper confident, wants to be in charge? Azu! 

But, due to the rivalry, and the fact that Hamid would probably work with Bertie in this AU, I’m going to say Hamid as Agent W and Azu as Mick. Azu is too good for this world, and I love some Hamid/Zolf friendship angst.

A similar plot would even still work - expect Zolf’s angst would come from killing his own brother, rather than his family doing it. And instead of medical debtors the meritocracy would be spreading The Blight in order to control their citizens, and The Carte Blanche would be looking for a cure.

6. What’s a location you can picture perfectly each time it’s brought up? Describe it.

Ngl, all of them,,, But I have a really specific image of the Apophis Office that is nothing like what Alex described. I imagine, from the outside, it looks like one of those optical illusion buildings; all stairs and corridors that don’t quite add up, made of aged limestone.

(Side note: since the Tahan bank definitely shouldn’t be a pyramid, I always pictured it as being like an hour glass. All windows that can be tinted when an important meeting is going on. Elevator straight up the middle.)

10. Invent a plot for a Harrison Campbell novel; fictional or from canon.

I really love the idea of Zolf finding and reading a Campbell about asexuality, never really saying anything aloud, but just going ‘ooooh, everything makes sense now.’

The MC is nothing at all like Zolf. She’s a high society socialite who likes parties and flirting and attention (hm, sound like anyone Zolf knows?). But the second she’s alone with anyone, and anything remotely sexual could possibly happen, she immediately doesn’t know how to act.

The story is about her trying to find a connection that feels right. In the end she realises she’s asexual, but decides that her bond with her best friend is the most important thing in her life, and although she might find someone one day who she has a romantic connection with she’s content for now.

It’s not Zolf’s favourite book by far, but it feels special to him in a way the others don’t quite.

12. If RQG were to be a TV show, which one NPC would you want Alex to voice and why?

I want to say Wilde. I really, really want to say Wilde; he’s the most consistent NPC, and the most important, and Alex has had a lot of practise doing his voice, and I love how he does it.

But I kind of think Wilde should be voiced by an Irish actor. They’d have to do/have a reeeally soft accent, but a lot of people seem to forget/not know that Wilde was Irish, and I don’t want to steal that literary history, y’know?

So probably Barret. He’s around at the beginning and the end and even shows up for a bit in the middle; he’s important! Plus, I feel like he’d enjoy getting to play The Big Villain, and it is a good, creepy voice.

(Carter is also up there, but I think Carter should be voiced by Bryn, for reasons.)

15. What’s a headcanon you think about all the time but feel you’ve never had an opportunity to share?

I share all my headcanons, lol. But here are some quickfire ones I don’t merit putting into fics/posts: 1. he/she/they Eren Fairhands supremacy 2. aroace Sasha who confuses admiration for having a crush 3. Cel’s hair falls over their eyes when they drink their beast serum, making them look like an anime monster 4. the reason ‘go go boots, go’ is the activation phrase for Zolf’s boots is because when he got them Wilde explained that he’d have to create an activation phrase and he was like ‘lol, what, like go go boots, go’ before realising his mistake, and he’s been stuck with it ever since 5. even fictional Oscar Wilde is not allowed to be a twink, it is Wrong.

Thank you so much for the ask!

[danceworshipper]

Ida Sommer - HPHL MC

Info subject to change as more game information is released. All of my HPHL ocs exist in the same universe

[profile template by me]

Personal

Full Name: Ida Marie Sommer

Gender: Female (cis)

Sexuality: Pansexual (closeted)

Birthday: August 20th

Birthstone: Peridot

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Age: 14 (at beginning of game)

Blood Status: Pureblood

3 Positive Traits:

- Charming

- Spiritual (nature oriented)

- Resilient

3 Negative Traits:

- Childish

- Uncommunicative

- Vain

Usual First Impression: When first meeting Ida, people often assume she is immature, ignorant, and easy to take advantage of due to her sheltered nature and cutesy appearance. This impression is highly incorrect

Location

Birthplace: Germany (exact location TBD)

Current Home: Her father's estate in one of the richest areas (Germany)

Future Home: A beautiful cottage secluded from the world, near a mountainside (Germany)

Favorite Place: A cliff overseeing the sea in Japan, close to the little shop where she got her wand

Disliked Place: Her maternal grandparents' home, simply because she doesn't enjoy their company

Appearance

[image created using the Live Portrait Maker app]

Face Shape: Roundish jaw, soft features with a strong brow bone

Eye Color: Yellowish green

Hair Color: Light blonde

Hair Style: Ida wears her hair down or in a single braid. Her hair is mostly straight with side bangs, and is parted in the middle

Skin Tone: Light

Freckles/Spots: A few freckles on her cheeks, more visible when she's been out in the sun

Scars: None during her schooling. After graduation, Ida marks her arms with runes only she and Sebastien can make sense of to strengthen her connection to the world around her

Piercings/Tattoos: Single earlobe piercings.

Final Height: 5'9"

Final Weight: 137lbs

Physique: Thin with long legs, slightly wider than average shoulders

Clothing Style: Ida is a rich kid, so her clothing is always of high quality material and her jewelry is noticeably unflawed. She dresses modestly until she turns seventeen, when she stops caring what her parents think. Her favorite colors to wear are pastels

Carried Items:

- her wand

- a locket with a picture of her and her parents in it - not worn, but kept in her satchel

- a silver pocket watch stuck at 11:18 pm, handed to her by the same Seer who told her where to get her wand

- a handful of candy

- extra quills for her roommate who keeps forgetting hers

- a book from the Restricted Section about Elementals, written by Elementals and charmed so no one other than an Elemental can ever figure out what it says

Magic

Wand: 12 inches of firm Ebony wood with a koi-mer hair core. A pitch black, rounded wand with a pattern of scales carved into the handle. This wand was custom made in a small, almost unknown shop in Japan after a Seer she bumped into on the street told Ida that her perfect wand would be created there. It would seem foolish to go all the way from Germany to Japan on the word of an unknown Seer, but it was Ida's turn to plan the summer trip, so she picked a place in Japan close enough to the mentioned shop

Animagus: Loon

Boggart Form: A headless figure easily recognizable as herself, crumbling away into dust. A failed attempt to merge with nature resulting in her demise

Riddikulus Form: A statue of her like the one in her parents' back garden, over glorifying her features, that has been attacked and is crumbling away. She hates that statue

Amortentia (to others): Someone smelling Ida would smell lime juice, fresh water, and static electricity

Amortentia (to her): TBD

Patronus: Ida has never been able to cast a Patronus. Not for a lack of happy enough memories, but because of her powerful soul. The Patronus can never escape her magical core

Patronus Memory: N/A

Mirror of Erised: A tree so big it grows up an entire mountainside. The tree bark is covered in swirling patterns Ida recognizes as Elemental runes. She doesn't yet know what exactly this tree is, but she feels an undeniable longing for it

Family Spells: The Sommer family has no special family spells

Inherent Magic: Elemental

- Ida has all the magic of a normal witch, but on top of that has a deep connection to the earth and the magic stemming from it, even beyond the earth into the universe. If not properly trained (or if driven to a great enough temptation), an Elemental could vaporize the entire planet, or bend it to their will. They could also leave humanity behind if they so wished and become nature itself

- Elementals are theorized to have fragments of Merlin's soul fused with their own, hence why they feel strong connections to each other and can't ever fatally harm one of their own. Most Elementals also fall in love with each other as well, and the connection is thought to be stronger than a normal human's love could ever be. These connections help ensure no Elemental gives in to whichever temptation has the strongest pull on them. Only one Elemental has ever yet gone evil, and this is how it was discovered that they cannot kill one another

- This special magic is not hereditary. In fact, no one knows what causes someone to be born an Elemental, only that there have been less and less of them in the recent centuries. There are only two known Elementals left: Ida and Sebastien

Family

Mother: Lina is a warm hearted woman who wants the best for her daughter, misguided though she might be. She often has to shout at her husband to trying to hold Ida back, or discourage Ida's dreams. She noticed Ida's growing power long before her husband did, and was the one to finally contact someone for help when Ida grew so strong and uncontrolled she couldn't stop floating

Father: Elias is a business oriented man who, though he loves his daughter, up until her reveal as an Elemental wished she was a son. He's the reason Ida was homeschooled for so long, as he didn't think a girl was worth the tuition money. He refused to believe that Ida was anything other than ordinary until a man in a high position told him otherwise

Sisters: None

Brothers: None

Pets: A screech owl named Goldig, meaning 'cute'

Other Important Family: Ida's paternal aunt, Ingrid, is one of the biggest influences in her life as a child. Ingrid is an independent witch who lives fabulously by herself with her dead husband's fortune. Ida used to yearn for a future where she wasn't tied down by a man and could do as she pleased

Family Values: The Sommer family as a whole is mainly concerned with two things: remaining pureblooded, and growing richer. Most of the Sommers are decently good people, but they have period-appropriate prejudices and are willing to leave someone behind to save themselves, metaphorically and literally

Opinion on Family: Up until entering Hogwarts, Ida really only knew her family, so she loved them and thought very highly of them. As she becomes more socialized and learns more about the world, she starts to notice her parents' many flaws and though she never stopped loving them, she does resent them for homeschooling her and ignoring the signs of her being abnormal, because she used to think she was broken when in reality she's nearly a god

Friendships

Introverted or Extroverted: Extroverted

Best Friend: Sebastien Parr - another mc of mine who is also an Elemental, and an exchange student from Beauxbatons

Worst Friend: TBD

Friend She Didn't Expect: TBD

Who She Wishes Was Her Friend: TBD

List of Casual Friends:

- Sophia Burton @gcldensnitch

- Charlotte Grant @weasleysandwheezes

- canon friends TBD

Romance

Current Crush: None

Current Partner: None

Past Partners: None

Future Partners: TBD - will likely be picked from the game's characters, but could possibly be someone else's mc

Her Type: TBD

Hogwarts

House: Slytherin

Prefect Status: No

Quidditch: Never played, but loves to watch

Clubs: None

Organizations: The fake Headmaster's Apprentices organization that she and Sebastien use to hide what they're really doing

Favorite Class: Herbology

Least Favorite Class: History of Magic

Favorite Professor: TBD

Least Favorite Professor: TBD

Timeline

Young Childhood: Ida is kept at home. She knows no children her age, and spends most of her free time roaming her father's land. No matter how far she wanders, she never seems to get lost. Ida has strange dreams where she watches the world as an outsider. After being told by a Seer that her ideal wand would be created at a small shop in Japan, Ida convinces her father to spend a month there over the summer, and her mother takes her to the shop to get her wand. Ida sneaks out one night and climbs a cliff that looks out over the ocean. In later years she can't remember whether rising up over the waters and hearing the stars call to her by name was a dream or not, but she knows the moon smiled at her.

First Year: N/A

Second Year: N/A

Third Year: Ida's uncontrolled Elemental magic reaches a breaking point, and Ida explodes her little study room as she lifts up in the air, unable to come down. Her mother sends for help: two healers, a historian, and three government officials later, Ida is brought down and informed that she will be enrolled in Hogwarts the following year. She is not informed why, though her parents are

Fourth Year: Ida enters Hogwarts with no social skills. She meets Sebastien and they're both informed of their true nature. As Ida struggles to catch up on her studies as well as train her Elemental magic, she also learns just how wonderful having friends her age is

Fifth Year: TBD

Sixth Year: Ida grows suspicious of Sebastien's "friend" Dorian. Other details TBD

Seventh Year: TBD

Post Graduation: Ida marks herself with ancient Elemental runes and her father gifts her the cottage. She spends a year and a half where almost no one hears from her, before appearing back in her friends' lives as if nothing happened, looking healthier and happier than ever

Career(s): Ida doesn't live long enough to have a career

Marriage and Children: Ida marries (TBD) from school, someone who had always had a crush on her that she eventually returned the feelings for. They spend a beautiful three years together before her end. Ida manages to give her love a son, but only after she's gone

Death: Ida sacrifices herself to stop Sebastien and Dorian from destroying the world. Ida's biggest temptation as an Elemental was always to leave her humanity behind and become nature, so she does. She traps the two men inside of a ridiculously large tree that grows out of the mountainside near her cottage. This tree forms from her body, and has a notch where her favorite necklace can be inserted to be allowed entry to the chamber Sebastien and Dorian are trapped. However, she hid the necklace in Japan, where no one will find it until a century has passed and her friends have passed away. Ida can occasionally gather her spirit into a physical form to communicate with her love and child that she left behind

Notable Facts Not Previously Mentioned

- Ida is the ancestor of my main hphm mcs, Gracie and Tessa Chiva, on their father's side

- The reason Ida is sent to Hogwarts and not Durmstrang is the fear of bad influences. No one wanted to risk her being corrupted

- Ida does feel guilty about leaving her love behind, but since she couldn't kill Sebastien and she still loved him and wanted him to be happy, this was the only way she could think of to stop him

- Her love watched her leave humanity behind. As they wept, Ida's spirit gathered to say her goodbyes, and point them to their son, who had been born from Ida's final breath at exactly 11:18 pm

- Ida thinks very highly of herself. This is both from being praised so much as a child and hearing so much about the good she can do as an Elemental

- She throws a graduation party so extravagant that it's talked about for decades after her death

- No one but her love knows what truly happened to her. All anyone else knows is that she and Sebastien disappeared at the same time

[eleanorbloom]

When You’re Ready Ch. 15

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Mentions of emotional abuse, specially gaslighting. Angst and some cussing words.

A/N: Hello! It’s time to know more about Eleanor’s story!

I wanted to post a new chapter on Wednesday but I’ve been sick all wee so I wasn’t able to write as much as I wanted. I’m sorry if this chapter is a mess, I’ve been sleeping all day and only eating water biscuits (I’m hangyyyy), but at least the most important parts in this chapter are comprehensible and you can decide now if you want to kill me or not hehehe.

A/N2: If I had written this series only from Ethan’s POV there’s no doubt I would’ve called Exile, because the songs literally talks about him and how badly he deals with the fact that Eleanor moved on and she’s with someone else (Maria, I’m talking to you, your guess was absolutely right!).  However, in this chapter I used Taylor’s POV, but what Ethan feels can be definitely described with Justin Vernon’s  parts. Okay, I’ve been gushing about this song for weeks, but I can’t help it,  it’s so fucking angsty and I love it too much!

Okay, okay. Enjoy today’s chapter!

  Taglist @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268  @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @bratzlahela @hermosaofraleighcarrera   @mercury84choices​

_______

Chapter 15: Exile

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending

You’re not my homeland anymore

So I’m leaving out the side door.

 I love you.

Those were the three words she always wanted to hear from him, but ironically, she heard them from Bryce first, the person she wasn’t in love with. And now that she finally heard them, it wasn’t like she imagined it at all.

None of the several situations she fantasized about in her mind could anticipate these mixed feelings.

It was relieving, but, somehow, it also felt strange, distant. 

Eleanor thought maybe she was afraid of being hurt again, that even if Ethan was offering her everything, and saying all the things she always wanted to hear, there was still a chance that in the end, he might hurt her, just like the many times he did before.

When she felt his skin, his hand over her lips, it brought her memories of their first kiss in Miami, the beginning of everything. The moment she started embracing the possibility of being with him, despite how forbidden it was because he was an attending and she was an intern. Before that moment, she would’ve never guessed Ethan wanted the same.

Then she was transported to the first night together when he finally managed to open up about his feelings for her. The night she thought it was the beginning for them. But it wasn’t.

His skin made her react as a reflex, like she was reliving those nights, making her want for more. He had just become the sweet person she had been waiting for. He was apologizing, assuming his mistake, and telling her that she loved her. Again. Like there was nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of. Like this time things would work. This time everything would be different.

But there was something wrong about that thought, but she wasn’t sure why.

So she kissed him, obeying her desires. She needed to remember how he felt. She had been holding back for so long that she felt like his words freed her, but the moment he placed his hands on her, everything faded. She froze up.

She woke up and realized where she was. Who she was. She wasn’t in one of her dreams, one of those moments she wanted so much to happen, where Ethan would confess, and they would kiss and be happy. And she wasn’t the woman who was dying to be with him

Things had changed. She had changed.

She wasn’t that woman anymore. The woman who dreamed that dream. Everything that she thought she wanted for so long, seemed to belong to someone else.

So she left as fast as he could. Something inside her was telling her that she had to run away, that she couldn’t keep with this. That it was wrong.

And now, walking outside her apartment, she was trying to understand why.

Why she was feeling so broken and guilty. And why that guilt was so familiar. Like she knew where it was coming from, but she was afraid of facing it.

A few minutes later, she slammed the door shut of her apartment, and ran straight to her bedroom, her breath ragging while tears streamed down her face. The guilt was growing and making her desperate.

“Eleanor is that you?”—She heard on the other side of the door.—“Can I come in?”

The sob didn’t let her speak until a few seconds later.

“Y… yes”

Aurora, wearing a gray and pink pajama, appeared behind the door, her brows furrowed in concern.

“Jesus, what happened?”—She asked, sprinting towards her when she noticed how agitated Eleanor was. She was red and her face shiny with tears.

“I…Fuck…”

It took her just a few moments to realize what was wrong.

“Eleanor, you’re having a panic attack, let me help you with your jacket.”

Aurora leaned toward her neck, zipped the jacket down, and then tugged it out.

“Do you want some water?”

Eleanor nodded.

After a few seconds, Aurora came back to her room and handed her a glass of water.

“There.”

Eleanor received the glass with both hands, trembling, and took a few sips. After a couple minute she felt how her heart started to beat at a more normal rate, the sobs had decreased, and she was able to think and talk with more clarity.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you, Aurora.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Eleanor hesitated. She didn’t know if Aurora suspected or knew anything about Ramsey and her, and if at this point would make sense to tell her. But she needed to talk to someone, she needed to get all out of her chest and understand why she was reacting like that, and she wouldn’t make Sienna come back from Donahue’s just to hear her misery.

“I… I don’t know if you know this but… Something happened between Ramsey and me in our first year.”

Aurora nodded silently, then added:

“I wasn’t sure, honestly. I had my suspicions because you were devastated after he went with the WHO to the Amazon, but I’m not a fan of snooping in other people’s lives, so I never asked.”

She gave her a humorless chuckle, wondering if the entire hospital noticed the shitty state she was in when he left. She knew she was pathetic in those weeks, but she had managed to forget it, all thanks to Bryce.

“Yes, well, we ended what we had the night before he left. And tonight, he told me he wants me back.”

“Aren’t you with Bryce?”

“Yes, I am, but the thing is…”

Eleanor explained the basics so Aurora could understand her dilemma. The agreement with Bryce, that it all started a little bit casual but after a few weeks things got pretty serious, because she started feeling things for Bryce, but she still loved Ethan, and Bryce knew all that.

“Are you saying… Bryce is with you even knowing you still love Ethan… and he will let you go if you choose to be with him?”

Aurora was shocked.

“Yes, pretty much.”

“This dude is insane, and a saint.”

“I know.”

“And why this has you this bad, this is not what you wanted? With, Ramsey, I mean.”

“That’s what I wanted at first. But then things with Bryce worked out better than I thought, so I truly wanted to be over Ethan, cause I got too hurt. But then I heard him saying all those things and I felt like he’s really going to change and do things right this time, and for a moment I considered that maybe things would work, but then I started feeling so bad, like guilty, like… like… Oh.”

Like someone used to make her feel years ago.

“What is it?”

“How stupid I’ve been.”

Even after all these years and that she swore to herself that she wouldn’t repeat the same pattern, she had done exactly that, and that night she had been about to do exactly that again, but luckily, she caught herself on time.

Eleanor took a breath. She hadn’t thought about it in years, let alone speak about it, and she didn’t know if she was ready to do it, considering how bad it made her react, but having Aurora by her side would make things a lot easier. It was something she needed to do to end the cycle.

“I had a boyfriend in Med School, Dylan.”—She started, trying to control her shaky voice— “He was a year older than me. At first, it was all good, he was cute, caring, and we shared a lot of goals, but then… he changed a lot. When he realized I was top of my class, he felt jealous, and he started diminishing me, telling me that I wasn’t spending enough time with him, that I wasn’t too committed to our relationship. What he was doing, was making me feel guilty for my success, just because he wasn’t as successful as I was.”

Aurora stared at her quietly, paying complete attention to what she was saying and prepared for any reaction that could trigger what she was about to say. She could sense it was a sensitive topic for Eleanor.

“After a while, I realized what was the problem. It wasn’t me, it was him. He was insecure and felt threatened by me, but he picked it on me. So instead of dumping him, I wanted to heal him, to show him that he couldn’t feel that way, that he was enough and all that. But it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t interested in healing and I got tired.”

She breathed heavily and then closed her eyes, large tears falling over her cheeks.

“We were more than a year like that, me asking for forgiveness for something he did, and then, when I was trying to heal him, it was him apologizing for tearing me apart and blame me for his failures. I stuck with him ‘cause I foolishly I believed I could heal him. I’ve always been like that, even with friendships, but with him, it reached toxic levels. He manipulated me so well that he made me believe I was the problem.”

She sobbed again, remembering the loneliness of those months, how he parted her from her friends and made her believe she was the problem, that she wasn’t trying enough for them. How at some point he made her believe she was selfish and she didn’t deserve anything, that she was lucky he still loved her.

“Until one day I opened my eyes with the help of some friends. They showed me all the horrible things he did to me, all the lies and manipulations. So I left him. I felt guilty for a long time, though. Thinking that I should’ve tried harder, but then when I saw all clearly, I let him go. And of course, after what I’d been through, it was really hard to trust in a man again. My next boyfriend was almost like a convenience, I was bored of casual hookups, so I started dating a guy just because I needed some stability, but I didn’t get involved much. But then I met Ethan and I couldn’t help but… Being involved with him. We had a strong connection. He understood me like no one just in a few weeks.”

And at that moment, remembering how it had been her story with Dylan, and how things developed with Ethan, it was evident for her that she had fallen in love with the idea of him. Because she didn’t know him at all. The only glimpses she got, were when he opened about Naveen, but she didn’t know him more than that. So she idealized the rest. She idealized him simply because he understood her, and she still believed at that moment that no one could love her. Dylan had branded her with fire.

“But then, when he acknowledged he had feelings for me, something stopped us from being together, and he pushed me away. I tried to make it work, but he thought our relationship was impossible. He didn’t want to jeopardize my career, and that was more important than what he or I want. And somehow I understood it, but I knew there was more than that. And effectively, it was. He healed from that and now he wants to make it work”

Eleanor shook her head, kind of amused.

“After all the hell I lived, he wants me back, and somehow I have to do like nothing happened. But I can’t. I won’t make the same mistake again. It would be like betraying myself, like coming back to my med school boyfriend.”

“I agree, this situation does seem a bit like what you lived with your ex-boyfriend.”

“Yeah, kinda. I’m not saying Ethan is like him, at least he didn’t do the emotional abuse this imbecile did to me, but he did hurt me, he hurt me before he left, when he left, he hurt me when he came back and acted like an asshole because I was with Bryce, and made me feel guilty for moving on. So, no, I can’t be with a person that made me feel so miserably, even if he didn’t do it consciously.”

After a few moments, Aurora slid an arm and pulled Eleanor towards her.

“I’m so sorry you had to live this, Ellie. I’m glad you could get out of that hell, and that you’re doing something for yourself now. Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for listening and helping me. I hadn’t thought about it in years. That’s why I reacted so badly.”

“It’s okay, I’m glad I was here to be for you.”

Eleanor pulled out and gave her a sad smile.

“And what about your feelings after this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you still love Ramsey? Because of what I understood, that’s the only thing that has parted you from Bryce.”

That was a whole different topic. But by this time, Eleanor already knew the answer: She wasn’t.

“I still have feelings for him, maybe I’ll never stop loving him in some way, but no, I’m not in love with him anymore.”

In the last months since he was back, she had been in love with the idea of him, and the person who could’ve wanted to know the real Ethan Ramsey, all healed and in love, didn’t exist anymore.

That person started to die the moment Eleanor looked into the golden eyes of the sweet and caring Bryce Lahela and told him she wanted to try with him. When she chose herself for once in her life.

And that person had died tonight when she opened her eyes and realized that she didn’t belong to him anymore. Ethan wasn’t her place anymore, he hadn’t been in a long time, but the illusion of him made her believe he was. And that illusion vanished with a simple kiss.

“And what about Bryce? Do you think things are gonna change after this?”

“I hope so. All this time I’ve wanted so bad to end this crap with Ramsey… But I never considered that maybe I’m still scared of what happened to me before. Like… I’ll live the same shit again, even if he has proved me enough that he would never hurt me.”

“I guess those scars take years to heal and is more difficult when you’ve been hurt again and so recently.”

“Yeah, it took me a couple of years to not think about it, and before now I had it completely blocked in my brain.”

“You know, I’m clear that you’re the only one who can decide this, but I think you have nothing to worry about with Bryce. I’m not a person who would stake my neck for anybody, but I can tell that he’s the one for you.”

“You really think so?”

“The way he looks at you, how he cares about you, how he treats you? God, yes, I’m sure. I’ve never seen a man so in love like him. He’s like a puppy with you.”

Eleanor chuckled, agreeing with Aurora.

“And the way your eyes shine with you’re with him? How happy you are? He makes me appreciate him even more just for the way he’s with you.”

“Awww, Aurora, that’s too cute”

“I’m just saying. I do hope you realize he’s the one. Maybe you’re completely in love, Eleanor, it’s just that you’ve been too afraid to assume it, and is understandable with all the hell you have lived.”

She nodded, thoughtfully.

“Perhaps.”

“In the meantime, you have to resolve this thing with Ramsey. After that’s settled, you’ll find out your answer.”

Aurora stood from the bed, and Eleanor followed suit.

“You’re right. First things first.”

“I’ll leave you to it, do you think you’ll be okay by yourself?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”—She replied, smiling, but after a few seconds, it faded.—“You’re not mad at me for what happened this afternoon?”

“No, are you?”

“No, of course not. I’m actually sorry for what happened. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

“I should’ve imagined Tobias would have second intentions.”

“Well, that’s how things are now, but we are good, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Come here.”

Eleanor wrapped her arms around Aurora’s back and held her tightly.

“Thank you, Aurora, I’m so happy to have you in my life.”

“I’m happy to have you in mine as well.”

*

An hour later, after tossing and turning in bed, she was standing in front of Ethan’s apartment, feeling a pit in her stomach. What she was about to do it wasn’t easy. To a man she had love, and to a man just a few hours ago had spilled out his feelings for her.

But it had to be done.

She knocked on the door, but no answer. After a minute, she rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, he opened. He was disheveled and confused. Still dressed. Eleanor assumed he had fallen asleep on the couch.

He looked surprised when he recognized her. It was pretty late.

She had imagined in her head that she would speak the very moment he would open the door, but she couldn’t.

How do you start something like this? What are the kindest words to put an end to this?

He turned to her once the door was closed.

“It’s over, Ethan”

His eyes widened, but it was hard to know what he was feeling.

“W… What do you mean?”—He asked after a few seconds.

“Us. I… I’m not in love with you anymore.”

She saw how his world fell apart the moment her words reached his ears. It took him a while to placate his feelings, the sadness that was invading him.

“Can I ask why? What happened?”

"I'll never be able to forgive what you did. You hurt me too many times and I can’t let myself come back where I was so hurt. My love is not unconditional as yours, you made me realize that.”

He nodded.

“I’m sorry if somehow I made you believe we still had a chance, but the truth is… we never had. From the beginning. That day in your car, when you asked me if it was too late, I should’ve said that it was, but a part of me, part of me that doesn’t exist anymore, forced me to open the door. But the door has been closed since you left, since you pushed me away, and tonight when you said all those things, I could see it clearly.”

“I understand. Thank you for your honesty.”

“I know it’s not the most appropriate hour, but I needed to finish this as soon as possible. I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

“Eleanor, you have nothing to apologize for. It was my fault. You gave everything you had to make it work, and I ruined it. I missed my chance, I missed the one hundred chances you gave me. I’m the one in debt with you.”

Eleanor gave him a sad smile when she saw his eyes full of tears. She would’ve never imagined Ethan would exposer himself that way. But she was grateful for finally seeing some honesty in his feelings.

“You were brave, after all.”

“I thought I made a mistake saying all those things.”

“No, it was the right thing. I’m glad I could finally know what you feel about me. It was the least I deserved, don’t you think?”

Eleanor wiped the tears falling from his sky-blue eyes.

“Of course. I wish it could’ve been sooner, and that I hadn’t hurt you this bad. But that’s how things are. It was my mistake.”

He took her hand on his before she could pull them away, and he closed his eyes, losing himself in her touch.

It broke her seeing this way. But there was nothing she could do now.

He wasn’t ready when she was, and now that he was, she would never be ready for him. She was hoping to be ready for someone else.

She pulled away gently, and he opened his eyes, looking at her, shattered.

“I know this will be awkward for a while, but I really hope we can be friends someday. When we both heal. I don’t wanna lose you.”

He cleared his throat before speaking. His lips were quivering.

“That would be nice.”

He gave her the saddest smile she had ever seen.

“Goodnight, Ethan.”

It was a bittersweet goodbye.

“Goodnight, Eleanor.”

 When she came back to the open air, she breathed deeply. She felt lighter, happier, and somehow a lot more secure about her life than ever before.

She checked her cellphone and realized it was 3.35. There was no point in going home and grab a poor hour of sleep, so she requested an Uber to the hospital instead. Once there, she took a shower, changed into clean scrubs, and then she went to the on-call room and to take a nap until there was time to do rounds.

It was a busy morning, and she barely had the time to check on her friends or Bryce. She wanted to see him. He needed to know what had happened, but he would be in surgery all day, so she’d have to wait until the evening.

Her necessity for him increased critic levels when Eleanor found out Kyra’s cancer was worsening. She texted him to meet when he had some spare time, but he didn’t reply to her messages all day.

The afternoon went in a blur with her visit to Mass Kenmore to convince Senator Farrugia of going to Edenbrook to get treated.

By the end of her shift, she was exhausted. The fact that she only slept an hour in the on-call room was clearly manifesting.

She was about to go home with her hopes down when her pager went off. Bryce hadn’t responded to her messages and she had the feeling that he was hurt because she went to have dinner with Ethan. She couldn’t blame him.

When she entered Kyra’s room, he was sitting by her side, both laughing at each other’s banters.

Eleanor's eyes lightened when she saw him, but when he turned to her, she could decipher he wasn’t feeling the same, as his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

When Kyra told her Bryce would do a procedure that could save her life, her stomach fluttered violently. If she already admired Bryce for how talented he was, Eleanor felt her chest was about to explode with that news. She was so proud she wanted to cry.

About fifteen minutes later, after talking about the procedure and encouraging Kyra for her decision, they both left the room.

“How have you been?”—She asked softly, once Bryce closed the door—“I’ve been trying to reach you all day.”

“Yeah, I know”—Bryce scratched the back of his head, tense.—“Has been a hectic day, that’s all.”

“Can we talk?”

His eyes betrayed him a bit, exposing his fear, but after a while, he managed to act nonchalant.

“Actually, I have no brains for nothing more than to drive home and sleep. I’m drained.”

“Oh. Of course. Send Keiki a kiss for me, okay?”

“Sure.”

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left.

Eleanor stared at him walking down the hall, fighting the tears that wanted to come out of her eyes.

Of course, it hurt her that Bryce was distant. She knew she deserved it, but never thought it would be so damn painful.

But why?

It was her ego? Or the honest feeling of not wanting to lose him?

The next day wasn’t any different. She hadn’t had the chance to see him all day until she bumped into him  in her way to the atrium, before going to the interview with the Senator.

“I’m going to A.N.B Studios with Ethan, Senator Furriaga invited us.”—She announced, trying to obtain a smile from him.

“Look at you, two TV interviews in one day. Next month they’re gonna give you a segment in Good Morning America.”

He teased, but his smile wasn’t the usual, again. And she could tell he was putting an effort into talking to her.

“Bryce… We need to talk. I know you’re crossed with me.”

He nodded imperceptibly.

“Yeah, I know we need to talk, but not now, and not tonight, at least. I have to focus on Kyra’s surgery tomorrow and I need time to study and my mind clear.”

He evidently was thinking the worse about their conversation, but Eleanor didn’t want to push him. He had every right to put distance between in a moment like that. Kyra’s surgery was complex, and she would respect the time and distance he was asking her.

“Of course, whatever you need.—She responded.

“Good luck with that interview.”

He was about to leave when she took him by the wrist.

“Could you give me a kiss, at least?”

Her words were soft and almost imploring, so were her eyes.

She tried her best to hide how she was feeling. How scared she was at the possibility that he hurt him so badly that he would push her away. She didn’t want this. She’d always been scared of this and finally was seeing the consequences of her actions.

Bryce gave her a half-smile and leaned to kiss her on the lips, chastely.

“Thank you.”

“See ya, Elle.”

And he left without looking back.

Eleanor continued her way to the atrium, thinking about Bryce and how scared he was. He was protecting himself. Eleanor knew he was just preparing himself for the worst, and trying to be ready to be on his own again.

But what she did not know, was the magnitude of his fears, insecurities, and his pain. Bryce never told her how bad he felt about all the Ethan thing, she just suspected. But it didn’t bother her. Since that moment she lost all fears. She realized she didn’t care what she had to face, or how hard it would be. She wanted to know every part of him, even the tough ones, and she would fight for him, to show him he has nothing to be scared of. 

Suddenly she saw herself standing in Leland Bloom’s yacht, thinking about the level of depth and understanding she had reached with Bryce, and that she hadn’t reached with anyone else.

And Eleanor knew in that moment that if Bryce decides one day to open the door to his fears and traumas, Eleanor would dive in, no matter what she might find in the depths. She wanted to know all his fears, his pains, insecurities, joys, and miseries. All the things that made him the man he was today, the man she loved. 

When she knew about Keiki and his family, she didn’t even have to think about it, she wanted to help him. She wanted to be with him and for him. Support him, accompanying him.

When they stopped talking for days, she understood he was hurt and scared, and she respected his space and time.

There was never anguish and desperation. He missed him, yes. But she knew he needed space, and that on time, they would talk through things. And they did. 

Eleanor smiled, noticing how different things were with Bryce, compared to what she had lived in pasts relationships. He had a way to always bring the best of her even in worst situations, just like now. Because she wasn’t desperate to fix things between them. She wanted to solve it and make it work out. And she didn't want to heal him. 

And, if she was honest, with him everything was different.

From the fact that he never hid his feelings, and he was always upfront from the beginning.

In the way she was in his first priorities, and he always managed to find the time to be with her, even if it were five minutes, or just to say hi or steal her a kiss.

In the way how protective and caring he was with Keiki, and how much effort he was putting in become a better person to give Keiki everything their parents hadn’t given her, and him either.

In the way he looked at her, always with love and tenderness, and his words always conveyed what he was feeling for her. Love and admiration. Passion and understanding.

In the way he respected her space, her times, her feelings and insecurities, and how he offered everything just to show her what happiness was, assuming that maybe he wouldn’t be the one in the end.

In the way he showed her what real love was, without hurting, without all the misconceptions she had thanks to past experiences. 

That and in a million ways more. All of them leading to the same conclusion:

Bryce Lahela was exceptional. Unique. The person who had made her the happiest in her whole life. And she wanted to be with him, through thick and thin, forever. Grow together, get to know each other, protect and support each other.

And she wanted to love him. God, she wanted to love him deeply and unconditionally. She wanted to make him happy, and give him everything he had given to her and more. 

A warm and evolving feeling coursed through her body, with the big and final realization. A revelation, something she snesed that had been inside her for a while, but only today she was abe to see it.

She was in love with him.

Eleanor had fallen for Bryce at last.

____

[rosecorcoranwrites]

Thought on the Writing Process

Most people have been taught, usually in an English or creative writing class, that the writing process is roughly as follows:

1.    Brainstorm

2.    Outline

3.    Write your first draft

4.    Edit/Rewrite

5.    Write your second draft

6.    Lather/Rinse/Repeat

7.    Write your final draft

8.    Publish

In theory, yes, this is generally how one gets from idea to finished product. Generally. Unfortunately, newbie writers see this as law rather than guidelines. This leads to questions like, “Is it ok to edit before you finish your first draft?”, because, according to The Writing Process(TM), editing must follow drafting. On the flip side, there are those who reject parts of the processes entirely, not just for themselves, but for everyone, saying things like “Outlines kill creativity”, because, you can't revisit and tweak your outline, because outlines must precede all other parts of writing except brainstorming because that's how it is in The Writing Process.

Of course, if you’ve been writing long enough, particularly if you’ve written drastically different stories, you know why these ideas fall short. Simply put, there is no one writing process; there is only your writing process. And that process is whatever works for you.

I would even say that you can have different processes for different books. In Styx, I jumped from brainstorming to drafting with no outline. Once I had finished my WIP and started editing, I used very sketchy outlines of what I had already written and where I wanted things to go to aid in rewrites. I continued brainstorming, known in professional circles as “daydreaming”, until I finished the whole series. My writing process is not linear; most of the individual parts exist side-by-side as I go.

But the Alternate-History/Fantasy/Mystery WIP has a totally different genre, setting, tone, and target audience from Styx, so it makes sense that it’s not going to come together in the same way. Happily, it is coming together, though.

I've discussed my outlining phase before, so let's look at how I wrote my prologue and chapter one. My hope in sharing my method (and madness) with you is to dispel some “hard and fast” ideas—i.e. myths—about how one "should" begin a book.

To preface this examination, I must reiterate that I have begun three books, and a novella, and yet still find writing the first chapter to be an agonizing ordeal. It’s a whole new voice and set of characters, and it’s hard for me. But I did it. And if I can do, anyone can.

Myth one: You must “just sit down and write”.

I don’t think I need to explain how much I hate this “advice”, which is generally said in a holier-than-though tone, like “I, a hard worker, can just sit down and write; I needn’t wait for inspiration like you lazy plebeians.” Bully for you, mate, but the rest of us find staring at a screen a hopeless and depressing endeavor.

No, I did not “just sit down and write,” though I wanted to. I felt, around mid-July, that I probably knew enough about my story to start. “Any day now,” I thought. “Any day now…” And then, I was in the shower (one of the best places for brainstorming, as I’m sure you know), and it came to me: a prologue, fully-formed like some Greek god springing from the appendage of another Greek god. This was how I would begin my book. “It’s time,” I thought.

And it was.

Myth two: Don’t worry about editing the first chapter until the draft of the whole book is done.

After writing a pretty rad prologue, if I do say so myself (and I do), I began chapter one. And it dragged. I was putting way too much detail and backstory for so early in the book, introducing too many characters, and saying too much about the setting. It was heavy. It was monstrous. It had to change.

I see first chapters as the foundation that the rest of a story stands on, or the trunk of the tree from which the rest of a story grows. It needn’t be perfect, but it needs to also not fail hard out the gate.

So I brainstormed. How could I trim the fat, while still having my character flying into the city the book is set in (because the flying scene was key). Could I also be lazy, I wondered, and avoid researching the type of plane the military might use to transport this character from the battlefield to the city?

Laziness won out. I realized I could change the timing of the scene. The character had already returned from battle, sat at home for a couple weeks pre-story, and is now, in chapter one, on her way to the city on a comfy commercial airline (which also lets me add some details about the time period: did you know that everyone smoked like a chimney even on airplanes in the 60s? Cause they did!). Problem solved.

Myth three: Just throw writing out there; it doesn’t have to make sense

This is related to Myth 2, but I still need to address it, because my problems weren’t quite solved. Though the first chapter flowed much better now, it was flowing straight toward a Grand-Canyon-sized plot hole!

I knew two things:

1.    My two MCs, Constance and Cherry, must become roommates at least by the end of chapter 2 for the rest of the book, nay the series, to work

2.    There is a very good reason for Cherry, knowing what she knows about Constance’s situation, to not want her as a roommate.

Theoretically, and according to popular advice, I should just throw the writing out there or skip this part and worry about it later, but I couldn’t do that. First of all, Constance and Cherry’s growing friendship is a large part of the theme and plot, so it would be weird to not know how it started. I needed to see them decide to move in together. I wanted to know how it all began.

Second, and more importantly, this wouldn’t just be a plot hole, but the mother of all plot holes from which rifts in the story would be berthed! When I say Cherry has a “good reason” for not wanting a roommate in Constance’s situation, I mean a reason that relates to the plot of the entire series, the villain’s motivation, the setting, and, well, everything. If I didn’t fix this hole, the entire story could come crashing down at any point. Again, first chapters are a foundation, and mine was shaky.

What to do… Well, why not return to my outline? I had a rough sketch of how the first book in the series was going to go, the vaguest idea of the plot for the second one, and only the beginning and ending of the third. I had been wanting to outline the arcs of the main characters and villains in each book, and now seemed like a decent time to do this.

I outlined Constance’s arc, with a big, blank, circled area that said “Moves in with Cherry for some reason???”, and left it at that. I then outlined her coming to terms with her backstory, and learning secrets about Cherry, and conflict, and so on. So far, no ideas.

I started outlining Cherry, from her backstory, and what she’s investigating (she is a detective, by the by), and how this leads to an eventual conflict with Constance, which had always kind of bugged me… and then everything fell into place. This thing that she knew—that thing that would make it weird for her to invite Constance into her home?—turns out that there isn’t any reason for her to know it at the beginning of book one. Literally no reason.

So now, she can become roommates freely and easily, then learn this terrible thing by the end of the book, and her and Constance dealing with this fact is a major part of the second book. I even figured out something about the climax of book 1 because I would now have o explain Cherry’s learning of this terrible fact.

So, because I desperately needed things to make sense and did not just throw writing out there, I came up with a more organic conflict for my characters, a plot for Book 2, a key part of the Book1 climax, and fixed the initial plot hole. Not too shabby!

Conclusion

So that’s my process: a continual spiral of drafting and brainstorming and outlining and rewriting and drafting and so on. You probably have a different process, and that’s fine.

I know that this may not actually help anyone start their own books, because it’s not exactly advice, but that’s the point. There is no magic formula that can make you write a good book, or even a good first chapter. You just have to find what works for you, wether that’s daydreaming for three months and then punching out a novel in a few weeks, or forcing yourself to write every day, or writing when inspiration strikes.

Too often, I believe writers focus on the “how” of writing and forget the “why”. You’re not writing to produce a book the “correct” way, nor are you writing to get as many words down as possible. You are writing in order to tell your story. As long as your process lets you do that, then it is the only writing process you need.

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 14: The Summons

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

When the Amulet of Nero is stolen from within Raines Corp. the time comes to call a special Summons of the Council. And that's just what Gaius wanted.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Nadya waits on the curbside for twenty minutes. Tells herself he probably just got caught in traffic or something. It had snowed for the better part of the day; that wet, sticky kind of snow that clung to roadsides and turned luxury cars (however practical Adrian insisted they be) into useless little wagons.

Even she’s a little disappointed in herself for waiting that long and not just making her way to the subway. She’s gotten spoiled.

[TEXT]: hope ur ok. grabbing the subway instead

By the time the metal cars squeal into her stop Nadya is suitably confused. It’s not like Adrian not to read his messages. Out of the underground she tries to call — the phone rings three times then straight to voice mail.

Confusion melts into worry when she tries Kamilah instead — same thing; ring. ring. ring and nothing.

There might have been a few more steps in between, but when Nadya turns the corner to the sight of flashing red and blue lights and three police cars in front of Raines Corp. she jumps all the way up to panic and breaks out in a run for the building entrance.

“Miss, this is a closed scene.”

“I’m an employee.” She fumbles for the badge she so rarely uses down in her purse, fingers shaking from fear and the cold and she’s never really done well with authority figures so the deep-set frown the officer fixates on her isn’t helping. When she finally fishes it out, though, the uniform looks away — couldn’t care less.

“You need to leave, miss.”

“Hello, can’t you read?” Nadya raises her voice and tries to press her badge a little harder into the woman’s line of sight. The responding glare she gets is not a kind one.

Bad move, bad move bad move —

Thank god she catches sight of Adrian and Kamilah through the revolving door. And she doesn’t feel the least bit sorry when Kamilah breezes her way through and all but throws the cop to the slushy curb to bring her inside.

“What’s going on?” Nadya looks around; latches herself to the woman’s side because relationship-be-darned there are people in black jackets carrying boxes and kits and officers in uniform and suits everywhere and she’s never seen anything like this outside of Most Wanted. “Kamilah — what happened?”

Halfway to Adrian and still without an answer Nadya stops, digs her heels into the tile slippery from melted snow and grabs onto Kamilah’s sleeve. It’s enough to stop her but she can tell right away the vampiress is distracted in a way Nadya isn’t sure she’s ever seen the like of.

“What happened?” she tries again, and finally (finally) Kamilah focuses on her.

“There was a break-in.”

What? “Here?” Dumb question. “What—when—is anyone—or—what —”

Hands heavy with the weight of ages fall on her shoulders and its almost scary how naturally she relaxes under them. Something Kamilah notices too, without a doubt, but neither of them comment on because there’s too much going on.

Nadya gathers herself under that touch. Only when she’s at least mostly certain her words will come out in the right order does she try again.

“Is anyone hurt?”

“Three security guards were killed.” She says it so easily. Nadya covers her mouth with the back of her hand.

Kamilah continues; “Adrian was able to get to me before the police, but there are protocols that must be followed for businesses such as ours. To our benefit, Lester has most of the detectives here under his thumb. We wait until they complete the official paperwork to discuss this, is that understood?”

Which is harsh, even by Kamilah’s standards. Especially seeing as Nadya’s on the verge of blubbering panicked right now, because even under the normal scents of metal and the night janitor’s floor polish she catches the familiar smell coming through the air vents.

Blood.

“Kamilah…” How is it that after everything she’s seen and done she still manages to sound so frightened?

Thankfully though the woman seems to catch herself. She slides her palms down to Nadya’s upper arms; feels the trembling beneath her coat and presses in with her thumbs. Something familiar, something grounding.

Nadya swallows around the lump in her throat. “This is too much of a coincidence, isn’t it?”

After all who just wakes up one afternoon and decides to rob a biotech corporation?

Kamilah confirms her fears with a nod. “It was an impulsive act, but the wounds are unmistakable.”

Vampires.

Trying to play dumb would only be willful ignorance at this point. There’s no other reason vampires would break into the building.

The moment Nadya understands Kamilah is there to hold her steady; like she was waiting for it.

“Yes, Nadya. They took the Amulet.”

It shouldn’t be any consolation that she can feel the worry ebbing into Kamilah’s voice normally so sure and steady. Or that when she can feel her legs solid enough to keep walking Adrian looks at the pair of them over a detective’s shoulder with a face so worn from exhaustion.

It shouldn’t be, but it is a little bit.

Because the city has to bring in a coroner it takes more than a few hours for everything to clear up. Nadya takes it upon herself to stand outside and give calm and understanding explanations to the employees who had the misfortune of showing up for work anyway — and maybe she does it with a little extra side-eye to the officer who had given her so much trouble in the beginning, maybe she doesn’t.

Could she be blamed?

Only when sunrise starts to peek over the man-made horizon does Nadya realize who exactly Kamilah had been referring to when she mentioned some of the detectives were on their side — or at least on their payroll. They’re the ones who don’t question it when Adrian starts up a fuss about how long the force has been taking in his lobby, about how exhausted he is; whatever it takes to get them to clear out as fast as possible.

She makes sure to throw a sympathetic smile his way. Nadya knows how much he hates having to put on the airs of a corporate douche (Jax’s words, not hers in the slightest). And she can tell he tries to return it as much as he can… but it’s a lot for him.

When the atrium finally empties and Nadya has shooed away most of the crowd they venture down to the labs.

Nadya finds it strange to think only a few days ago she was down here with the rest of them. The pristine white space not bothered by crime scene tape or the smudges of fingerprinting powder on every surface. Part of her wants to look away from the blood splatters hovering ominous without bodies to place them. The rest of her feels like she has a responsibility to bear witness.

In an impressive display of strength the large steel door is nearly ripped from the hinges. The bolt sealing it shut is still partially inside the wall. Whoever broke in was in a rush — yanking open drawers and cabinets until they found what they were looking for and careless to whatever was in their way. Now all the files and even a few chemical tubes are strewn across the floor in disarray.

She carefully avoids stepping in the pool of dried blood just in front of the vault entrance.

“It’s as though they didn’t know where to look,” comments Adrian as he crosses the taped-off doorway, “only what they were looking for.”

Nadya recalls briefly the sight of Kamilah in these very basements on the other side of the building. Where she lifted the stone lid from Lily’s empty coffin without so much as a furrowed brow.

“So we don’t have to guess who did this, right?” She looks between the vampires and hates that they all share the same thought. “They tore through solid steel like it was paper.”

It was their fault for pretending like the Trinity wouldn’t come for the Amulet. A darker, more cynical part of Nadya is surprised they didn’t try something like this sooner.

Still — it would be nice if either one of them had something helpful to say. But neither of them do, and the silence tries achingly to make them accept the truth.

“We must assume the worst;” Kamilah admits with a heavy sigh, “that the Amulet is now in Gaius’ possession, or nearly so. It’s time we summoned the Council, Adrian. We can’t keep them in the dark any longer — not if we have any hope of getting them on our side.”

Nadya frowns. “Why wouldn’t they be? This is Gaius we’re talking about. You all stood up to him once before.”

“Yes — and if you recall it was the hardest thing we have ever had to do.”

“Which means it should be easier the second time around.”

Adrian’s voice takes her by surprise as he exits the vault.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

She can’t believe what she’s hearing. “And why is that?”

“Just because. You’ve felt it too I’m guessing —” the vampires exchange looks that Nadya doesn’t quite recognize, that has her whirling around back and forth until she’s so dizzy she might fall just to try and understand what isn’t being said out loud, “— ever since I saw the empty sarcophagus it’s like he’s been looming over me; a shadow I can’t quite see.”

Hesitantly Kamilah nods. “I’ve found myself entertaining thoughts I never would have in the last century. It was only a matter of time before his influence began to reach out to us, unfettered. And if we have felt it there is little doubt Cecil and Lester have as well. Even if they aren’t conscious of the truth.”

Nadya bites her lip; chews it so hard she nearly breaks skin.

“Is that why you’ve been acting weird, Adrian?”

He nods once; curt and like just that little act causes him an immense pain.

When I said I wanted answers… but she doesn’t finish the thought. There are more important things to do.

“Then let’s get it over with.”

Nadya wipes her forehead with the back of her hand again — this exhale just as shaky as the last. She had not thought this through.

“Are you sure you’re okay for this?” Lily asks and, just like the three times previous, Nadya nods with lips pursed tight to keep them from wobbling with strain.

Because she couldn’t not be here now. She has to see this through. Only the last time she was in this particular room it hadn’t gone so well, had it? The memories of that awful throne and now she has the displeasure of knowing the voice of the wretched man who once sat upon it and both of those things echo inside her skull in a surround sound she can only describe as sickening.

It’s saying a lot that she prefers hearing the red-faced rage of the Baron over whispers of ghostly memories. Neither are preferable, but not much Nadya can do to change it now.

“What do you mean, ‘the Sarcophagus is empty?!’”

Lester tries to appear like he’s sitting the picture of the calm his fellow Council member isn’t. But his bouncing leg betrays him. “Not to say anything against your credit, Kamilah, but are you certain you weren’t perhaps imagining things?” His smarmy smile isn’t returned by any of the five faces all turning to glare at him as one.

“What? I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had similar ones over the years.”

Jax’s brow ticks in frustration. “And what are you saying about Raines and I, then?”

“Bite your damn tongue, boy!” The Baron’s face bulges with every word, like the pounding of his temples might swell his head before he pops inside of his tight and outdated collar. Of the three of them Nadya wouldn’t have expected him to have the worst reaction of the three.

And while she tries not to compare the ramblings of a guy like Lester with her own, she instead focuses on Priya — the uncharacteristically silent one.

She doesn’t know much about the former youngest of the Council, only what Adrian had told her in his brief run-down of what to expect now that she was his assistant in all things business and vampiric. Priya was the only one of the seated members (barring Jax, now) who wasn’t Turned by Gaius. The Council had their enterprises sure but she was Priya Lacroix. She ran a fashion empire. Even the likes of Lily and Nadya — meaning those who had never spent more than department store prices on a pair of jeans — knew her label and the outrageous trends she was known for creating.

At Adrian’s trial, Nadya had learned the hard way that Priya was on no one’s team but her own. Back then that had meant siding with Vega.

What did it mean now, she wonders, and holds her churning stomach at all the ways that little thought alone could go wrong for them.

To Kamilah’s credit she waits until the Baron has stopped huffing and puffing to continue.

“It was no illusion. The Onyx Sarcophagus was unbound and opened. For some time, from the looks of it. Surely you’ve felt his reach even if you had no name for it until now.

“If you still have trouble taking me at my word Cecil, then I ask you this; when was the last time you remember seeing your key?”

Lester thinks he’s subtle when he reaches to pat his trouser pockets. But the relief on his face is clear, even when he catches Adrian staring at him from across their semi-circle of seats. “Don’t look at me! I have mine!”

A grinding noise makes the vampires and their sensitive ears flinch. All but Priya, who continues to let her stone chair chip away at her manicure as a look of bewildered anger darkens her normally sultry expression.

“I can’t remember. Why the fuck can’t I remember?!”

The Baron tears open his collar to reveal more of his flushed chest; which does nothing for Nadya’s upset stomach. Lily dramatically buries her face into Maricruz’s shoulder as though to shield herself from blindness. On her left, Cadence swallows down a gagging noise.

“I— Where is my damned key?!”

He goes to point an accusatory finger at Kamilah, but is cut off by Adrian before he can say something he’ll very likely regret.

“It’s our belief that once the keys were taken from us, a very thin layer of psychic suggestion was put in place to keep us from looking. Enough time had passed that we weren’t checking up on him frequently.”

“Well no shit,” Priya grumbles, “the last time I did it the smell of his rot stunk up my favorite Amur shawl.” She pulls a stunned nail file from her messy high-bun and starts about fixing the damage done.

Even Adrian looks like he can’t believe the day has come where he and Priya agree on something. “Sure, that… too.”

“But who would be so foolish?” asks Lester. “We all knew the dangers of his ideas — and what he would do to us if he was ever freed.”

Kamilah clenches her jaw. The Baron doesn’t miss it and throws her a sneer.

“Having regrets, Your Highness?” Though every trace of his accusation withers under her red-eyed stare.

“You would do well to watch your tongue, Cecil.” And Nadya sees the way she shifts tense in her seat; the look she throws the throne beside her under the guise of closing her eyes and gathering herself. It makes her want to run across the Chamber to Kamilah and hold her tight. To make promises that everything was going to be okay even if she didn’t know whether or not it was the truth.

“If you recall, it was my betrayal that sealed his fate.”

Priya scoffs. “We have just as much to lose as you if he’s coming for us.”

“Oh he’s coming for us all right… make no mistake there.” And though his voice wavers in fear Priya doesn’t deem Lester’s warning worth a reply.

“Unfortunately, Lester is right.”

Kamilah, Adrian, and Jax trade silent nods. They’ve come this far — and without the Amulet going back is impossible. The men defer to Kamilah and the authority of her years.

A burden she doesn’t take lightly. “As I’m sure you’ve guessed, this is something Jax, Adrian, and myself have known about for some time. It was our hope to deal with the situation swiftly and silently; to prevent this very Summons from occurring. But to keep you in the dark is no longer an option, not without putting you and your Clans in significant danger.”

“The world is in danger as long as that mad king roams free, Kamilah.” Lester says with a sigh. Kamilah doesn’t disagree, but continues.

“In our investigation we’ve come to learn several things. Firstly, Gaius has had an agent acting under his orders for a decade at the least, though it’s more likely that he has kept Jameson under his thumb the entire length of his imprisonment.”

The other Council members react with mixed shock and anger.

“Jameson? But he always seemed so… demure.”

“Eugh, I always knew he was a freak. Anyone that obsessed with frock coats would be.”

The Baron growls at Kamilah yet again. “Am I the only one remembering just whose Clan he was part of?”

“Of course not Cecil,” Kamilah snaps back, “but it was not I who made him. And we all know the power of a Maker’s thrall. Taking into account that Jameson and Isseya both are naturally gifted in the psychic arts…”

With a snap Priya’s file breaks in two; half splintering in her closed fist while the other slips and falls to her heel. “That bitch is involved?”

“Both of the Trinity are,” Adrian answers; gives Kamilah what looks like a much-needed respite with a short nod and by while leaning with his elbows on his knees, “and its more than likely they have been since the Awakening Ball, at the very least. Which brings me to our next point… and the reason we called this Summons tonight.

“Under Gaius’ orders, they have been hunting down the Amulet of Nero. The Trinity’s third was tasked with keeping it hidden until Gaius had need of it, but when the man died the Amulet’s location was lost with him. I was able to track the Amulet down to a supernatural auction in New Orleans and securely bring it back.”

It would be a valiant summary to a heroic story… if he didn’t leave it with an awkward silence. And by now the rest of the Council — well they’ve already gotten so much bad news already in such a short amount of time. Nadya doesn’t blame them for waiting for the other pin to drop.

“But?” presses Lester. Even Priya — though maybe more so now because she doesn’t have anything to distract herself with — seems rapt with attention.

“But despite his best efforts, my little soldier always seems to fall just short of the mark.”

Back at Persephone, Nadya just knew the Trinity was alone; that Gaius wasn’t with them. Didn’t know how she knew or what it would have even felt like if he was there.

It would have felt like this. An oppressive, suffocating heaviness in the air seeping its way both into her throat and wrapping around her from the outside. Squeezing, tightening with every breath; filling her with terror and anger and (nauseatingly) a kind of joy that should never be associated with the smell of death that wafts into the Chamber and into her every pore.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

If his very presence wasn’t so terrifying she might have the stomach left to laugh. Gaius doesn’t bother with a glamour this time — no he’s much too pleased for that. The joy whistling between his rotting teeth as he descends the steps into the Chamber and looks out on them all with a literally lip-splitting grin.

The night wind howling above the city filters down and screams like a thousand roused graves. They dance around him, make the wisps of his hair shift around his hollowed face, and disperse like an omen around them.

Witness him. Behold him. Tremble before the King of Vampires.

All around Nadya the vampires rise together; a front united in only one thing — fear. Just like at dinner she stays seated but there’s no willful defiance here. She just can’t move.

Like that stops Gaius from honing in on her anyway. “I told you Nadya — that throne is mine still, even after all these years. Such a tragedy that the pretenders to my kingdom haven’t taken care of it as they should have, though.”

Lily and Maricruz step in front of her — she appreciates the gesture but wants to scream at them to run and save themselves. I’ve seen what he can do. I don’t want that for you. But she doesn’t, not even when she feels the towering form of Cadence at her back.

And Kamilah is so far away…

Strange that the thing that gets her to stand is the sight of Jameson coming up behind his Master’s back. Like a caricature, huddled behind Gaius like an immortal shield. Seeing him brings her to a boiling point, makes her remember living through Lily’s death—living through her murder—and all the pain it caused, continues to cause…

“What are you doing here?”

The only ones surprised when Valdas and Isseya appear at the rear of Gaius’ awful entourage are the Trinity themselves. Mortified, Valdas stares at Cadence and grabs for his lover’s hand. She takes it wordlessly; her expression unreadable.

“Now now Valdemaras, this isn’t the time.”

Just like before; his pretty words so cold and cruel. How they make him recoil, how they make Kamilah’s eyes flash with the briefest hint of pity.

The Council are equals but they bend to Kamilah on this — let the eldest be the first to step forward on the chopping block.

“Gaius.”

He fixates on her in a flash of milk-white eyes. His sunken features barely able to hold his twisted frown.

“Kamilah, my Queen.”

The word stings her like a slap to the face, but Kamilah keeps her composure.

“The years haven’t been kind.”

“No, I suppose they haven’t.” He reaches up and presses at his skin with fingers that aren’t in much better shape. Priya tries not to gag and might even turn her face away if she weren’t fixated on him in terror.

“And who do I have to thank for that, I wonder?”

Kamilah inclines her head but says nothing. Adrian steps up behind her, ever at her back. And if he’d hoped to draw Gaius’ attention away it worked — and a little too well at that.

“And Adrian, my lovely little soldier. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the part you played all those years ago.”

“I would hope you ha—”

“Sssh…”

All Gaius has to do is hold up a finger and the entire Chamber falls silent. The vampires, the wind; Nadya even finds her thoughts waiting on hesitant breath to hear what he has to say. How it feels so terribly vitally important.

It makes him croon in satisfaction. “Much better. I hate to see how quickly you’ve forgotten your manners; all of you. But I suppose it’s to be expected when you don’t have a guiding hand to show you the way.”

Slow and purposeful he strides deeper into the Chamber. His cape catches on the packed dirt underfoot but it’s just another way for the literal world to yield to him. “I should thank you, first, for convening yourselves and saving me the trouble. I would have hated to have to hunt you down one by one — this way retribution will be swift and just.

“But the real reason I’m here is to offer my congratulations.” But Jameson, ever gleeful, is the only one who claps. “You’ve had a very profitable… how many years was it? Ninety-nine, I think? Part of me almost wished to wait and make it an even century. But I could not find enough benevolence in me to give you the satisfaction… as they say — nobody’s perfect.

“But I wonder if you have given ample time to consider the ramifications of your success. How far back you’ve bent to this sniveling population of chattel in pursuit of your backwards notions of them. The belief that they are somehow equal to us given sheer numbers alone.

“The infestation of them would not have spread so far had you not committed such a heinous crime.”

“Our only crime was defying you!” Adrian spits out, red-faced and the exertion it takes to resist whatever spell he holds them all under shows in the sweat beading on his brow.

“And that was crime enough!”

All around Nadya the vampires flinch as if struck by the back of an invisible hand. Even Jameson, who recoils away but refuses to let himself be lumped in among the masses of those Gaius deems as traitors.

For a walking corpse though, it’s impressive how quickly he regains his composure. Just as quick as he had lost it. He smooths back the wisps of his hair and eases blind rage into the same yellowing smile.

“Ninety-nine years is a long time. Though I’m sure I don’t need to tell any of you that.” He gestures wide to the Council at large, open arms spread in the same arrogant pride has he had at the banquet table.

“Long enough for you to become titans of industry and advancement, and to grow complacent in your greatest lies. You have deluded yourselves, my children, into thinking that you live in times of peace. You believed the evil vanquished and the world spared of a so-called price which you deemed too high… despite not being the ones who would have to make it.

“Some might call this loyalty. I would call it treachery. Your loyalty should never have been to humans, to the plague of them that stretches across the world. It should have been to me.

“But I suppose the only one truly at fault is myself.” Gaius hangs his head forlornly. “Somewhere along the line… I must have been too lax, too forgiving. I followed the tools She gave me to the letter and yet even in the first of my line I could never inspire quite the same devotion as She could. Not without the missing link.”

His grey palm twists upwards and the fire pits lining the Chamber walkway catch on glittering gold and red. The Amulet of Nero rests, neatly cradled in offering; as though it belonged there. Then it isn’t Gaius holding anyone captive, not any longer — the Amulet does that job for him perfectly, possibly even better.

A fact that isn’t lost on him. Reverence choking at his voice as he gives his audience the chance to admire it.

“It is to my understanding that you’ve been hard at work trying to open the Amulet. Points for understanding it is not the Amulet itself that holds the power but what lies within it. Though I suspect, my dearest Bloodqueen, you have a little something to do with that.”

Kamilah glares down at him. And would very well take his words and impale him on them if she could. He’s giving her the chance to speak but she can’t—or won’t—take it.

She doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

Gaius knows this, and seems heartbroken by it. “I see, and this is truly the path you wish to take?” But again the only reply is the hollow quiet. He thumbs the gemstone almost absentmindedly.

“Very well.”

Gaius throws his head back, familiarity gently shaking away a head of thick hair no longer there. Watching his fangs descend is more like seeing maggots crawl from an open wound — something Nadya has never seen in person and now will never need to. They’re as stained and rotting inside-out like the rest of the teeth left in his skull and surely they once have must been long and proud; something of a status symbol. Not anymore.

But they are no less sharp. And in the silent hall the wet sound of those fangs sinking into the sagging flesh of his exposed wrist is terrible; just like the stench of foul death that follows. Nadya tells herself it’s a trick of the (lack of) light that when he pulls back the blood dripping from his mouth is almost black.

“Nothing you could have attempted would have proven fruitful,” says Gaius, mouth full of his own blood that spills down his chin through his smile, “because only the purest of blood could relinquish the spell here. Nothing so diluted as what filthy muck most of you had crawled from; not even that of my own line. Only those Turned with the blessing of the Goddess would be able to ensure Her return… I made sure of that.”

His self-inflicted wound takes its sweet time to heal. Plenty of time for him to bring the Amulet close, cradled like a fragile trinket (which was definitely not the case, and they had a list of ways that had been proven) and let his blood drip—drip—drip over the jewel with purpose.

Whatever enchantment was holding it closed was also holding the true nature of the thing back — that much is obvious. The latch of it comes undone so soft she doesn’t hear a thing, then he pries the pieces apart with a rotted thumb. The Amulet’s influence comes in waves so strong Nadya, too, can finally feel them. Feels the magnetic pull of it and she wonders with all of her awe if she were to jump from the ground wound it bring her ever closer, would it finally then have hold over her?

She has the sense not to, thank god, but Lily’s knees buckle under the pressure. Nadya and Maricruz hold her up quickly, Nadya’s sleeve wiping away the sweat at her temples.

“It’s…” She struggles to find the words. Lily Always-With-Something-To-Say Spencer is speechless. And she’s not alone.

Even the man himself gazes in reverence. Plucks something from the heart of the locket and lets it fall away, unenchanted and plain, back to the dirt where it belongs. Its contents are its value. Gaius holds it up to the light; a little red vial, no bigger than her thumb, with designs on the glass that catch in the dancing flames.

Nadya realizes a bit too (foolishly) late that it isn’t the vial that glitters, but what’s inside of it. Blood, undeniably blood, but the brightest and most beautiful blood she’s ever seen. What she had thought was the reflection of light is actually flecks of gold dancing within it.

Dancing to a song that, if she closes her eyes and listens with all her might, Nadya thinks she can hear.

The blood of the First Vampire.

And they understand all at once and in a horrifying way exactly what he plans on doing with it.

He breaks the vial’s waxy seal and raises it in his sole cheers. “To my good health.”

“NO!”

Flecks of blood dot across Kamilah’s cheek. But she and the rest of the Council are still held immobile by the power of the vial, no longer captivated but forced to behold it. All but Adrian, his own blood dripping red and violent from his nose; his ears. Breaking out from the vial’s spell—from Gaius’ spell—has him pale and shaking, and whatever willpower he found to do it is stronger than his ability to heal.

Nadya watches with tears burning in her eyes and teeth clenched in a struggle between wanting to keep him safe and needing him to save them.

Her cries — silent but desperate. Please Adrian, please!

She’d like to think he almost makes it. Optimistic failure — that’s what her life has been reduced to. But it’s better than nothing, even if it’s still failure.

Adrian falls to his knees with Gaius just out of reach. He struggles, maybe he even knows its in vain, but reaching out as he does, still trying to claw his way to the vial, fighting through agony — it just hurts.

“Aagh!” When he yields its clutching his head, its threatening to tear out clumps of his hair and more blood falling down his face and sticking awful to his lips. “My… hh-head…”

His Maker looks down not with disdain but with pity.

“Time and time again my soldiers keep disappointing me,” he laments; like he’s the wounded party when Adrian hadn’t managed to lay a finger on him, “First Valdemaras, then Banner… I had hoped to break the cycle with you, Adrian. My strong Adrian… a little too willful at the end but I would expect nothing less.”

“You bas… bas…” But whatever is hurting him is too much. Gaius sighs.

“That is enough, Jameson. He’s earned his last words.”

Behind him the psychic vampire withdraws; pulls his hand back and instantly Adrian slumps to the ground. Too weak even to stop the way Gaius brushes the back of a grey finger over his cheek.

“Don’t you dare touch him!” snarls Kamilah.

Gaius looks up to her sharply.

“Now — a few last efforts I may tolerate. But such blatant disrespect is beneath you, Kamilah. You would dare order me?”

“Do not. dare. touch him. Gaius.”

And with that — he’s done. He steps back in a flourish, his warped face twisted in rage. “Enough of this insolence! You’ve forgotten manners, respect — you have forgotten to fear me. But that will change.”

He looks down at Adrian, struggling on his shaking limbs — fighting to stand, and shoves his progeny down beneath his heel. Gone is the man who found amusement in their torment, in playing sick games and offering speeches with false praise.

With Adrian trapped under his heel Gaius raises the vial to his lips and downs the contents whole.

[you-are-my-neverland]

nano 2020 final update

                now playing: a playlist for yourself sad (slowed down songs)

final wc. 57, 114 words

general thoughts:

let me try to keep this short: i won!!! honestly, it was very exciting, considering this is like my sixth nano and the only one i’ve cracked an actual 50k on - ahead of schedule, too! (and on that - congrats to everyone who wrote this month! you all did awesome, even if you didn’t make your goal <3). 

my writing pace slowed a little, which was fine - we did have thanksgiving break, but honestly that was just for me to further relax (& upon return the stress of school slammed full force hhhh). it’s been a bit tricky because i do have a large ensemble cast of varying importance whose relevance will likely cycle around, but incorporating them into the story is difficult. i’m trying to build relationships for further chapters, but without forgetting or sidelining anyone too much. it’s been a bit crazy, especially since my outline is not super detailed and i didn’t ever get around to writing my character arcs for book 1 like i was planning on. oh well.

we did hit the first little conflict hill though!! 

the future:

honestly, i don’t know where i’m going with this - not my wip, but like with writing it and posting updates. this is technically my final nano update, but like i don’t plan on stopping writing this regularly because might as well ride with it, you know? anyways. i think when i have a title, i’ll make a wip intro about it. hopefully my writing doesn’t peter off - i’ll have to try to police myself, like that ever works out (well it did this year but. you know).

if you want to be on a taglist for future possible updates, let me know! right now it’s just @semblanche <3

also here’s the pinterest which i am still building and organizing (i’ll create a spotify playlist in due time)

some scenes:

(beneath the cut because i went a little overboard)

“You jest,” Eden said, looking amused. Ophelia noticed he wasn’t wrinkling his brow as much anymore, as if the headache had finally gone away, or at least she had distracted him from it, which she took as a win.

“I am only ever perfectly serious,” she said. 

“I don’t doubt it,” Eden replied.

They looked out at the ocean a while longer.

notes: ophelia and eden (& sebastian) as friends with a certain vibe that i really like ... they’re kind of cute okay <3 but insofar platonic

“That’s fine, I always keep elastic ones on me,” Luce replied, continuing to chat as she began to braid after dividing Ophelia’s hair into a neat part. “Your hair is so nice and straight. It does whatever I want it too. I usually practice hairdos on Laurie, but both of her hair never wants to obey the laws of gravity or force, you know? I’m not pulling too tight, am I?”

Ophelia, who had actually sunk into a relaxed state and felt rather as if she had transcended—it had been so long since someone had touched her hair, her mother stopping brushing it long ago—almost missed the question, before quickly saying, “No, it feels really nice.”

notes: trying to build and integrate ophelia, luce & briar friendship so ophelia can have actual good friendships, also because healthy girl friendships are necessary for any good work xD

Asriel glanced at her over his shoulder, the flames casting a sharp outline across his narrow profile. “It’s not my fault if you take offense to every small thing. Maybe you should think about why you consider that to be a personal attack on you. Perhaps you’re doing something wrong?”

Ophelia exhaled sharply and looked away from him, her fist dropping to her side. She could feel tears pricking at her eyes, and it was so infuriating that she almost wanted to cry—cry over the fact that a single sentence made her want to cry to even begin with. 

“Forget this,” she said, forcing herself to speak slowly as to not betray the tightness of her throat she felt all of the sudden. “I don’t need to go with you. I’ll make it out on my own. Have fun in the dark.” She stormed past him, shoulder checking him into the wall, and focused on her feet and surroundings carefully, not willing to embarrass herself any further.

“Ophelia,” Asriel said. Just her name. Nothing else. It was enough to make her stop, even as she insistently told her feet to keep going. She looked just barely over her shoulder at him and saw his body sigh with the sound of it leaving his lips. “Let’s go together,” he said, coming up to stand next to her. 

“No way,” she said. “You  might ‘need’ me, but I definitely don’t need you.”

notes: anyways ophelia & asriel are supposed to be like rivals and the reader isn’t supposed to like asriel that much, but also my personal bias shines through in my writing and i once again make my intentions obvious (enemies to lovers hghjskjs)

She opened her eyes and looked up to see Asriel staring back at her, sitting on the ledge and dangling his feet, a hand still over hers, despite the flames that had started to dance across his skin as well. He didn’t so much as flinch, though Ophelia could make out the slight reddening of his skin beneath the fire. She frowned at that and considered reeling it back in, but who was she if he wanted to risk his life? People got burned. It wasn’t anything that a healer couldn’t solve.   

She was struck by his gaze. Not that it carried much intensity, but by the fact that it didn’t—he looked at her as he looked at everything else, with a gaze that simply swept by one momentarily and deemed it not worth his interest. Nothing was worth his interest. Nothing made him smile or laugh; he only frowned, slightly, at some things, sometimes at Ophelia, but he never looked at her with the burning hatred she felt he must see on her face every time they made eye contact. 

notes: uh oh this rivalry might have been one sided the entire time? hm.

“You could have killed me.” When she looked up, her eyes were rimmed with red and her voice was raw with some unspoken emotion.

Asriel didn’t flinch. “It was a risk I was willing to take.”

“You don’t get to gamble with my life,” Ophelia said, spitting out each word as if they hurt her to say.

“It wasn’t even real,” Asriel replied, unbothered and unfazed.

“Merlin,” Ophelia whispered, looking away and then staggered to her feet, hands clenched into fists at her side. “I hate you so much. I wish I had made all of you burn alive.” She turned and slammed through the door, letting it bang shut with an echo that resonated throughout the room.

notes: oh yeah. this is why she doesn’t like him lol. 

“How classy,” Bell drawled. “Ruel, do you think he should be allowed to rebel with us?”

Ruel shrugged her knobby shoulders, popping her bubble and swallowing the gum back between her teeth. “We shouldn’t invite people.” They exchanged a look with weighted emotions in their eyes that felt much too serious for the current situation. Asriel felt his fingers tighten around his arms, cutting off the circulation, as he waited.

“True enough.” Their heads turned in unison to blink at a still standing Asriel: Ruel’s heavy lidded pale gray blue ones and Bell’s dark brown eyes with the thin double eyelid crease.

“See you around, then,” Bell said. “If it’s fate, we’ll meet again.”

Asriel bit back a scoff, a short huff escaping his lips instead. “If that’s that you believe.”

“Ah, so he’s a skeptic,” Bell remarked, voice cold and eyes narrowing.

Asriel gave them both a long look, feeling slightly amused at the conversation and somewhat curious about what a further one would entail.

“I don’t believe in fate,” he said. “And even if fate does exist, it’s far from impartial.”

“Is that your way of saying you doubt we’ve made fate’s favorites list?” Bell asked, looking like they were half joking and half actually interested in what Asriel had to say.

“I don’t know,” Asriel said. “Do you honestly believe fate has taken any notice of you at all?”

“I’m not one of the Divine,” Bell said. “So I couldn’t say, honestly. Could you?”

Asriel let his hands drop to his sides, where he tucked them into his pockets and ignored the burn and pain that came with the movements. 

“I would hope,” he started softly. “That fate has no plans for me at all. Good day.

notes: asriel pov asriel pov asriel pov! the way he’s one of what i like to call the core four (not me writing cour fore rip omg, but also that’s sebastian, ophelia, vincent, and him - our mcs if i ever had such a thing) but this is his first pov in 50k. bell & ruel are two minor characters that kind of wormed their way into my heart and now i think i’m attached - maybe they’ll all be friends. 

[lunasilvermorny]

Magical Creatures Everywhere SQ (Where I basically fangirl over Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn 90% of the time...)

But, as usual, we start with some bad photoshop edits!

MC: Acromantula?

Kettleburn: Chimaera?

Charlie: DRAGON!

:)

And now, to the SQ!

(with all the characters that I tagged. I promise I don’t just tag stuff without reason!)

It started with Charlie.

Yep, that’s going to be a good one.

Also, regarding what he said - you do realize that would be fatal for the students, if there were a real dragon. right? Nope, he doesn’t care.

Sane people?

So it’s good we’re the Loony Squad!

If Trelawney were here, she’d say it means:

Also, I want to point out - Charlie, Liz, Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn all in one location? This is my dream SQ!

Just the two of you took all the creatures in one go?

Whatever happened, you deserve it.

Of course he’s happy about it.

Be honest, you freed them, didn’t you?

MC: Y-you want me to help you?... HA! SUCK IT, LIZ!

Liz: ...?

MC: I still love you, though!

So, headcanon here - I feel like Luna has this special ability when it comes to animals. Yeah, it’s pretty much canon that she loves creatures, but my MC has something beyond that.

She has a special connection, not just with her pets or creatures she adopted, but any animal she encounters. It’s not like being a Parselmouth, she doesn’t directly understand the meaning of what they’re saying (except for Owls, since that’s her Animagus form), but she can feel what they want to communicate to her, and animals have a higher tendency to trust her, even wild ones. That’s the reason she can approach even dangerous creatures with confidence, because she makes them trust her and so they don’t attack most of the times.

So yeah, she’s perfect for this SQ.

Yep, that’s definitely it.

You let them loose, come on, be honest.

That’s one of the best days of your life, isn’t it?

You’d think they prefer a living tree...

Normally I’d choose the option with the book, but this time I have to go with the more headcanon leaning option - she’d probably try to talk to them in a soothing voice to calm them down.

I do have to say, it’s going to be pretty disappointing if this entire quest is just a fetch quest and nothing more.

Magic!

They look like cat grandpas.

MC: You’re going to tell Papa?

You should really know the difference, as a professor.

Wait, so you do know?

Sure... let’s go with that.

Fine, you know.

MC: 

Why does he look so terrified? Poor thing.

Grass?

You too? Wow, that’s almost overwhelming.

MC:

Aww, it’s so cute.

Oh...my god.

Anybody else hear - “Ooh, heaven is a place on earth.“ playing in their heads?

It’s not funny, it’s amazing. She just found her heaven!

Throw Barnaby into the mix and it’d be perfect.

Very convincing...

I wouldn’t call it maturity, just sheer happiness.

Oh wow. Umm.. Thank you?

That’s impossible!

Crazy idea - have you thought about using magic? You know, since you are wizards!

Back off, Filch.

Probably...

The truth?

Okay, MC, don’t freak out.

MC:

What do you mean “pretend”? You’re already a puppy.

Also, look at him!

Ah, my heart is so full right now.

Sure thing, mate.

She’s not thinking about the task, but about how she’s going to gather them all in her dorm room.

This is adorable! I can’t handle it... I just want to watch him all the way through this task.

And the Crup that sleeps next to him... Okay, THIS is MC’s heaven.

(Also, Barnaby Jr. and that Crup behind them! So damn cute!)

Because he’s a cold-hearted, murderous Death Eater.

Your soul is too pure for your family, Puppy.

That’s a bad thing, Lizard.

Alright...

Oh, you precious angel...

You do that!

Anything for Papa.

MC: Well, obviously.

Again, crazy idea...

MAGIC!

Oh yeah, that’s how he lost his eye, right?

Oof. That’s rough, buddy.

Not the moustache!

I love that that’s her reaction to what he said.

This SQ is so damn cute, I can’t...handle...it...!

It’s all fun and games, until you figure out he was behind Dumbledore’s death all along. His thirst for power knows no boundaries.

Haha, nice one, JC.

I like that.

Yeah, and questionable judgement about children’s safety.

You don’t have any authority here anymore, old man! The bowtruckle is in charge now.

So, wait...

My first instinct was for her to blame herself, but I don’t think it’s really necessary. I doubt Dumbledore would actually be mad about this whole thing.

It’s probably best to tell him the truth. (Also - blue book!)

Because they tried to move them all in one go. It was inevitable...

See? He appreciate her honesty and instead of getting mad, he’s glad she helped.

Throwing yourself under the bus is not always the best solution.

Injuries? Oof... Well, at least Papa would be happy.

Jesus Christ, Merula. If you actually hurt a creature, I would never accept any type of your redemption arc!

Is that why, in the past, you suggested making creatures fight each other for your entertainment and even straight up killing them? If that’s your kind of love, please, save it for people only.

You do you, Puppy.

What does it say about me, if it actually interest me?

It’s supposed to be a joke about Rowan’s dorkiness, but it’s a really interesting premise for an essay.

Because Dumbledore asked for more, you cheap.

The option “You’re a generous person” is just objectively wrong, also, she’s not a major suck up.

Mmm... He does have empathy, even though he’s trying to hide it. Maybe the first option?

I know he doesn’t like children, but he can’t really leave them injured like this when he has the supply for their medications.

Time to impress Papa.

Don’t worry, she aspires to become a healer, so you’re in good hands.

Yeah, and don’t forget who helped you out - your favorite student and mentee!

I want him to tag along, but maybe he should rest a bit. We don’t want him to lose another limb. (OR DO WE?)

Dammit, I’m not sure he’s going to like that answer. I hope he wouldn’t find it too boring.

That’s not a satisfied Papa...

Dammit.

Oh.

Wait, so it was the right choice?

MC: Yes! Suck it, Liz!

Liz: Seriously?

MC: Sorry, love.

That’s a big snail. I can’t wait for MC to have one of those!

Is that a huge Niffler next to Merula?

What the-?

Also, Ben is not terrified - that’s the spirit, buddy!

Wait, didn’t he say something about it earlier?

Yeah, at the beginning of the quest:

Barnaby can see into the future, confirmed!

Merula alert:

Dammit. Barnaby can see the future - busted.

I really don’t get how people can look at this screenshot and think- oh, she’s amazing.

She’s laughing at the thought of ruining people’s lives.

That’s not endearing, that’s a major character flaw and shouldn’t be celebrated.

Not to mention, a stupid plan that’s easily reversible, so she’s not just being a huge douche, she’s also being really dumb.

Mean and dumb - some people’s type, apparently.

I’m sorry, she’s just so incredibly pathetic.

Even if you like “the bad guy” type in stories, she’s incapable of even doing that correctly.

Unless you like the type that constantly humiliate themselves and showing how incompetent they are, because if so - she’s your ideal character!

Girl, you have serious issues.

Oh look, it took us 3 seconds to fix.

You’re such a mastermind, Merula.

I’m sorry, was that supposed to be a threat?

Oh, honey...

MC: DUMBLEDORE!! SHE’S HERE! THE ONE THAT DID ALL THE MESS!

To be fair, Merula is so incompetent that I doubt she’d be able to hurt anyone on purpose...

No one is going to believe you, you nimrod!

Are you really in a position to judge anyone else’s appearance, Ismelda?

Characters in this SQ: Let’s test your knowledge.

MC, a Ravenclaw:

Wow, muggles are really the true victims in this SQ, aren’t they?

Yeah, skip...

Eyes.

You’re not very reassuring, Mr. Diggory.

That’s better. Thanks, buddy.

Wait, it’s getting gradually better... Does this mean-?!

Awww! Papa’s stamp of approval!

Aww, it’s such a cutie pie!

Obviously.

That can’t be good...

Oh, right. Stalling...

Fine, but in the headcanon, she did it on her first try.

Here we go... Such a good boy.

Instant BFFs!

Thanks, Papa.

We did it! (Not that there was any real challenge, but still...)

Aww, such a nice little SQ.

Conclusions:

I really like this one. 

I spent most of my time just fangirling over Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn, which is not necessarily a bad thing, in my eyes.

I did find it a bit boring at times, but mostly it was just cute and wholesome.

I really enjoyed the company of Barnaby and Liz, though I wish they’d included them more in the plot of the SQ and not just the background. Also, I wish Charlie had a bigger role.

But overall - really cute. Good job, JC.

Bonus:

Not part of the SQ, but I just love how they sit together.

It makes much more sense to me that Barnaby would hang out with Liz than Ismelda or Merula.

[twilightttv-a]

LEMME COMPARE MY MUSES TO THEIR ORIGINAL DRAFTS

Aaron

Simple. He’s a spidersona because of a long running joke in my family. When i was a kid i was convinced my brother was spiderman and then convinced my nephew he was spiderman. when spiderverse came out i went ‘i nEED TO MAKE A SPIDERFAMILY BASED ON MY SIBLINGS (and nephew)’ 

He didn’t really have a personality tbh but now he’s a punk spider with a grudge against his older brother for getting 99% of the credit for shit he did. He likes to protect schools and small shops because fuck capitalism and fuck people who prey on kids and teens

Andy

He was one of those ‘click and drag dash games’ results. He was a goofy shy dork originally and now he’s an emotionally damaged guy who loves the stars and doesn’t know how to talk to people 

Bryce

He’s the MC of the Community College Hero books. I wanted to make him with WD2 Wrench in mind. He hasn’t developed much beyond that tbh. 

Ciryke

Oh god. Cirs my oldest oc and i love her so much. She started out as an X Men self insert oc and i would trace over this fuckin au marvel ask blog art to email to my friends (with their x men self inserts) during middle school. She was whatever i wanted her to be to fit the comic. 

Now she’s got so much lore and depth that i can’t fuckin coherently write it all out without forgetting shit or going into tangents because i’ve thought about her so fucking much

Mal

He is the MC for the Grand Academy of Future Villains series. He was just a slasher and was missing an arm because of his failed cloning. He was more focused on rituals and cosmic horrors (he was devoted to his gods and used the rituals to honor them and gain supernatural power) now he’s a slasher who never puts a fucking shirt on and loves his job. awful. bastard man

Nilo

Okay Nilo........he’s an MC of the Versus series. The first run through of the first book i uh, didn’t really know what i wanted his character to be so i ended up getting him killed on accident cause he wasn’t aligned to one side of the fight. My second run through i realized i wanted him to be a snake ass bitch and successfully double crossed the rebellion for political stability

Roxanne 

She is the second oldest oc of mine. She was apart of the X Men comics but she is NOTHING like she is now. She was around 15-16, not related to cir (though she really thought she was great) and had the touch of death (hence why she always wore gloves) Now she’s an emotionally damaged woman who uses her beauty to manipulate men and get her way into a position of power. (theres a lot more depth abt why shes so materialistic and needing of power but thats for another post)

Rickey

He’s the MC in Neighborhood necromancer. He was originally an awkward, angry outcast who would use his necromantic powers to get revenge on assholes in his life. 

Rickey now is an upbeat, happy go lucky necromancer who loves to make friends and talk about his zombies and vlog about the occult with his little sister whom he loves very much

TJ

TJ straight up was a dude. Like, i was gonna use one of the kids from stand by me as a fc and everything. She wasn’t as nice originally and was not a lesbian. TJ now is a sweet, awkward girl who can lose her temper but she just wants to go camping and play video games at the arcade

Trevor 

He’s the MC of Fallen hero: rebirth. I actually tried to make him seem more like Bryce at the beginning but the longer i read the narrative the more i realized he was traumatized and angry. Trevor developed into an angry vengeful man who’s dysphoric as fuck, hates his past and wants to destroy the people who ruined his life. 

Tyrus 

My SWRPG character. He was just a han solo wannabe imma be real with you. He just wanted money, to sleaze his way out of tricky situations and drink. Now Ty is a man in love who wants to raise a family and drink martinis but he’s the unluckiest man ever so his life isn’t safe and he can’t be with his gf cause he’s scared she’ll get hurt because of his bounty and problems

[chaniters]

Fallen Hero AU Fanfic 6. Ranger Adventures

Part 6

Beginning to steer this to it’s conclusion. Spoilers for Fallen Hero Series as always. 

Some thoughts on how MC would be treated by the world if they were not  forced to hide their secrets. How far would Ortega fight for them? Herald and Sidestep centered plot. Also, explores some of the (original?) villains I came up with for this. I’m trying to get better at writing villains right now.   

Hope you like It ! 

And thanks to Malin! 

Inhuman

Ranger HQ. Evening.

"Any changes?" Steel asked Moira, one of the professionals on their strike force. She was a military doctor.

The Dark Energy Man lied motionless on his bed. He had just barely eaten some food.

"We have biometric Id. Jake Black. His wife got died to overdose so no surprise he hates the cartel. But changes ? No. He's got brief periods of activity where he gets really excited, and then falls unresponsive. I think he's hallucinating too, we've seen him talk to himself."

"Hmr.. and we can't get Sidestep to check trough an energy absorber..."

"Not unless he wants to run the risk of getting his brain fried" She smiled

"I'll keep it as a last resort" Steel said, impossible to tell if he was serious.

"What's your assessment?."

"He only took the Hero drugs what four days ago? His body must be still adjusting. Changing"

"Very well.. keep me informed. I'll go meet the others..."

Steel strolled to an elevator to the ready room. He adjusted his shirt and pants examining himself in the mirror. It was kind of a routine. Their headquarter had many floors now. Ever since Sidestep had the old one destroyed by HG that is. That's how Steel lost almost all the clothing that used to fit him. Stupid Sidestep. He had to buy new sets of everything and it wasn't easy for someone with so many mods.

"... and that's how they'r creating the Demons" Herald finished explaining. Steel already knew that part.

"So what happened to Cyrus? He didn't seem alright"

"I'm not sure.. I thought I'd lost him. He was't listening to me at all, he was just petrified... and then he went back to normal... sort of."

"He's got a history with mad scientists experimenting on people" Argent pointed out.

"He told me he just needed some time." Ortega spoke a bit worried "He's not sure why, but he admitted he was a bit spooked. I'd be more worried if he had denied the whole thing, which is what he usually did in the past. I.. I think he needs a bit of alone time. Then i'll go talk to him."

"True. Very well... what's your take, Anderson?"

"We have enough to go on against Ellison now. The pictures you got really tell the whole tale Herald. They'r developing a hero drug, it got stolen, sold on the streets, and then they killed the thief to cover it up. Oh and let’s not forget  they are turning people into demons. I think that qualifies as an exception to the west-coast protection he has."

Steel nodded. Time for action then.

"Ortega. You and me go to the Last Gate church along with our strike team... we have to put an end to the experiments"

"Argent... Ellison's car was seen entering FarmaCore's main building's garage so..."

"I get to kick his ass"

Steel smiled "Yes. You and Anderson head to FarmaCore and arrest that twisted shit before he can do anything else."

"What about me?" Herald asked

"You get to stay at the base this time."

"What? Why?"

"Because, we have an immensely powerful boost in our cell, and if contention fails, I don't want Sidestep to be alone to stop him"

"He's not coming either?"

"Not this time... for the same reasons as you. Also, I don't like taking chances if he's not at his best. You tell him. We'll get ready".  

----------------------------

Sidestep's room.

Cyrus lied back on his bean bag, completely covered by a blanket on top of it. Hidden from the world.

He didn't know what got to him. The voice had been silent. He had made an *almost* full recovery. He had taken his medication on the hour every hour every day. He hadn't missed a single therapy appointment. He had a fucking psych report saying he was ALMOST normal.

And he just walked into that fucking basement and it triggered next level hallucinations, a panic attack and a complete recalling of the Heartbreak and his first attempt on his life. He had been close. He had tried a few times later after that...

The last one was when he had almost made Herald drop him. The teleporting ray had also been one, he didn't like to admit it but he had hoped it would fail, and that he would just disappear.

But he didn't feel suicidal. Not anymore.

He was starting to like this life he had bargained for.

Even if he wasn't human.

Even if he didn't really had rights.

How.. how had he relapsed so strongly?

He felt he was failing... failing at getting better.  

He didn't want to fall into that hole again. He didn't know if he could crawl his way out again.

"I have to get better" he said aloud. He owed it to Ortega.

After He had pushed Ortega into signing that deal for him...

He owed him for his new life.

Just like he owed him for teaching him about all the things that made him a real person after he broke out.

He owed him so damn much, and he was going to disappoint him. Again.

He remembered what Steel said.

Don't fuck it up.

Well he was going ahead and doing just that just to keep things interesting.

He closed his eyes and covered his face, trying to escape his own thoughts.

On his bean-bag, under his blanket.   -----------------------------------------------------

6 months ago.

"Say again?"

"I want to take the deal"

"You can't be serious!"

"I am serious."

"But this is just... insulting! It's like... like a license to own a dog! No Cyrus! I can't let you...I'm not going to ..."

"Ricardo..."

"No. Definitely not. I won't..."

"...Ricardo"

"Out of the question!"

"Ricardo please. Can you not fight me on this?"

Silence.

The governor took the chance to speak

"Look,  I can't legally make you a human. But nothing stops me from doing THIS under the economic free zone regulations. It's a middle ground"

"If he takes this, people will think this is how it's supposed to end... there is momentum in the media! If we keep at it we can..."

"I can't."

"But this is your fight!"

"I know.. but... i just... can't do it anymore.. please"

Ortega just stood silent. He couldn't give up. He couldn't let Cyrus give up. They had fought so hard... there were online petitions .. people mobilizing to protest in the streets...

Then he looked at Cyrus. He was pleading with him.  With testimony to congress, along with reporters all day long and the hate groups that had emerged against the re-gene cause, the last month had certainly been hell. Panic attacks. Nightmares. His psych test had been a total mess. He was furious at having to use the wheelchair after HG shot him. The physical pain of rehab itself... Trying to walk again....

He couldn't ignore it... he was falling apart with each day. If they continued... he would pay the price.

He took a deep breath and tried to swallow every emotion and intuition telling him this was the wrong choice.

He looked at Cyrus straight in the eyes and asked.

"Look... if we do this, there's no turning back. So I need you to to tell me. Are you completely sure? Is this what you really want?"

Cyrus took a few moments to answer. "Y...Yes. Yes, I want to have a life now, not in 10 years.

Ortega rubbed his face as he tried to cool down.

"Shit...” This was hard... 

“Ok then." I'll sign. I'll sign the thing.. whatever you have to throw at us, i'll sign it. Just... " he pointed a finger at the governor "Just don't cheat us. Please, just don't cheat us later" he pleaded. He felt defeated.

"It's in everybody's best interests. I do stand for the Re-gene cause, but there's only so much I can do without a congress law" He slided the papers to them. "Maybe congress will solve this in the near future, and this doesn't mean others won't continue the fight he started"

Only Ortega signed. Cyrus's signature wasn't valid, since only humans could sign legally binding documents.

"So" he forced himself to ask, as he signed, paper after paper. "How will this... how's this going to work?" He spoke in the most neutral tone he could manage, when in truth he wanted to break the table with his modded fist.

"You'll be assigned guardianship. You are entitled to acquire the equivalent of monthly payment of that of a ranger as long as Cyrus works as a "Honorary" member. You can administer it as you see fit to cover his expenses. Also you can ..."  And they went on, and on, explaining how Cyrus's legal non-humanhood, whatever it was, would work.

Other re-genes where being offered similar deals. Not as good as this one tough, they couldn't even choose guardians they trusted.

"Non human person". A new legal status, only valid in the west coast.

If Cyrus agreed to this, most of the others would too, that was a given. And they would probably forfeit the right to be truly heard by the public... they would become yesterday's news. The legal case would be off the front page.

The Governor nodded as he signed the papers as well.

"Very well then... it's done."

....

"I know you think i'm giving up" Cyrus spoke as Ortega pushed the wheelchair through the underground tunnel to avoid the media.

"I understand why... But it feels so wrong."

"I know but... yesterday I was just a piece of property  owned by the state Ricardo."

"And what are you now?"

"A protected piece of property"

"That's still not a human"

"We've talked to the lawyers... It's better than spending 10 more years in limbo. I don't think i can do that Ricardo. This way I can join the rangers... I can be someone useful..."

"Even if you'r protected, it's not..." Ortega began

"Protected by you." Cyrus interrupted "And that's enough for me"

Ortega hadn't known what to answer to that. He still didn’t. --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The present.

As the ranger vehicles left the headquarters, a man in a nearby bar dialed a number

"It's time"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Herald was at the situation room.

Steel and Ortega had found and defeated a few demons in the church's grounds after a small skirmish. After that, the church had surrendered and the leaders where being arrested. Several people being held in cells were released too.

Argent and Anderson had faced resistance from FamaCore's security. They were looking for Ellison inside the premises.

Patrol cars were at his homes, and several other locations... still no sign of him.

He was about to call Steel again for an update, when an explosion shook the building. He braced himself. All the lights turned red, then the security cameras died. All of them. Then the alarm sounded.

Gunfire and screams. Herald ran to help,.  

A group of veteran strike team members where fighting the creatures already emerging from the elevator shaft. Demons.

One of them  was already lying on the floor, bleeding from several energy weapon wounds.

He activated his wrist energy emitter and took cover, firing at the things as well. Another one fell down the shaft. Two more came from the stairs. He activated a panel on the wall, sealing the entrance with a thick metal bars coming off the ceiling. 

“Quick! To the emergency staircase!" They did as he said. He flew trough the corridors towards the armory. He was going to need heavy weapons to face these things.

He couldn't prepare for the figure materializing in front of him.

"Going somewhere?" The fist connected straight to his gut, and given his current speed, it made him bend over in the air.

Herald managed to roll away. Durability was a good power to have sometimes.

He looked up at the grinning figure.

A dark ninja-style suit. A mercenary villain called Darkfist. Ortega, and Argent had been beaten by this one in single combat before. Shit.

"What's the matter? Giving up already?"

Herald remembered. Darkfist's powers was very specific. when he attacked, he could teleport short distance, with energy infused fists. So anyone fighting the Villain usually got pummeled before he could do respond.

"Just warming up" he stood up. He had to distract Darkfist so the personnel would be safe.

He aimed his wrist emitter and took his shot... Darkfist teleported in a puff of black smoke... he braced for the worst.    

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The building shook. An explosions. Alarm sounds. Sidestep removed his blanket. All lights were red.

Fuck.

He rushed out of his room. He had to get to the stairs to get to the ready room... Only there was a demon in the stairs. He froze. He could feel the minds.. many demons.

There was an emergency stair hidden behind a panel in the living-room. He could get up trough it and...

"Hello Cyrus. I hear that is the name you took now?"

He paused. He hadn't sensed this mind. An old, thin and tall man, with grey hear and a black diamond mask, with brass engraved cane. He wore a dark suit, black gloves and a black sweater. Not the most creative Villain suit. Standing in his way.

"Who are you supposed to be?"

"You can call me Phatos."

"I can call you whatever I want after i beat you down!" No time for this. Sidestep lunged for a quick takedown.

The old man just moved out of the way and he missed by a longshot.

"Oh.. you've goten slower" He pushed Sidestep with the tip of his cane, and he almost lost balance

"What the...?" He attacked again, but this time, his enemy wasn't even there. He hit a wall, and cursed at his pained fingers.

"Tsk Tsk... What a disappointment. And you had made such a name for yourself. Sidestep and all."

"Who the fuck are you?" Sidestep knew the voice... but he couldn't place it. And he could not sense his mind at all.

"Oh come now. Don't you remember me ?" He lips turned into a smile under his mask.

Sidestep focused. There it was. He could sense it. It was hiding... but no longer. He could sense it's shields. Strong shields. Very like his own.... familiar shields...

He took a step back.

He knew this man... he had trained with him. Him and his brothers. He had been at the farm.. he had taught them... everything.

"Carl?" Sidestep asked finally

"It's Pathos now... But i'm glad to see you brain hasn't melted... yet" He took a step forward.

"What the heck are you doing here?" Sidestep said assuming a defensive stance

"What does it look i'm doing?" He clicked a button on his cane and a short blade emerged from the tip.

He trusted the cane and Sidestep dodged... but the blade wasn't where it was supposed to be. He got a nasty cut on his arm.

Pathos sneered. "You know ever since i retired, I've found there's a really enormous demand for people like me. I do charge a lot for my services, but i'm doing you for free"

Pathos slashed again, but Sidestep trapped the blade with his bare hands.

"Oh. I see you haven't gone totally soft"

Sidestep took the cane off his hands and pointed it at him.

"Why? What could you possibly gain from this?"

"You really don't remember?"

Sidestep felt the immediate pressure against his shields. He strengthened them as hard as he could... but his mind just went trough as if they weren't there...

"Wha..."

"It's no use being in the strongest of Alpha leagues if your opponent, even a Beta like me has the key to your  front door Fivofour."

"I'm Cyrus!" He strengthened his shields again and pushed him back. He trusted the cane at Pathos... but it became a snake in his hands, hissing and biting at him. He dropped it. "How the fuck.."

"Experience makes the master. Remember I taught you everything you know. And you have let yourself develop a huge weakness... let it fester even" Pathos smiled. "It's a secret we share, do you remember Doll? Do you remember how I fixed you after they brought to me in pieces?" For the Briefest instant, his face turned into that of the monster... the origin of the voice... the Heartbreak.

Sidestep recoiled... but his back hit the wall.

"Do you remember when I came to help you because you wanted to kill yourself ? When you made me your tool, and tried to have me strangle you?  This obsession you gave me.. it never went away." Phatos continued, clearly enjoying Sidestep’s pained expression.

The old man raised his cane and attacked again. Sidestep dodged and blocked trying to disarm him once more, but he just couldn't outsmart his old mentor. Every move, he did, Pathos could predict. He gave him another cut on the left leg this time.

"When you escaped I realized i had lost my chance... only killing others gave me some respite...But we both know how these induced obsessions work right?.. If i finally kill you.. Then maybe if I'll be free, don’t you agree?."

They engaged once more. Sidestep was stronger... faster.. but there was little he could do against someone who could dodge faster than he could think.

With a final deception, Pathos knocked him down, driving his head against a wall. ......................................

Three strikes in quick succession. Each time, Darkfist had teleported in the middle of his swing. There wasn't any time to react... Herald was just getting beaten over and over against this guy.

His back was against a window when... A window.

He shot his wrist weapon shattering the glass.

Darkfist ran at him, ready to strike again.

Herald waited.. he waited...until...

Now!

The moment Darkfist's body started blurring and preparing his teleportation, he jumped backwards.

As predicted, he got another brutal fist to the face.... but after that he flew upwards.

Darkfist didn't fly at all. His powers where teleporting to attack. There was no reports of him ever teleporting without performing his "Dark Punch". So he had no way to avoid the fall.

The 7th floor was probably high enough.

“Splat” Herald said.

..........................................

Ellison entered some commands in the console, and the power dampener device deactivated, opening the containment cell.

Pathos entered the room followed by a Demon carrying the unconscious Sidestep.

The Dark Energy man stood up, with a smile on his lips.

"Ahh.. High priest. It’s good to see you again. It’s been so many years"

Ellison bowed to the man.

"I am sorry. We didn't expect your return to take place in this unclean vessel... one of our workers was... unfaithful. He has been dealt with."

The Dark Energy man simply walked out of the cell.

"It is of no consequence. I have almost consumed this man's personality. I am in control. His quests for vengeance was pointless.. but entertaining" The inhuman thing behind his eyes smiled. "Your technology and the teachings of the Elder one have created the right tool to tear the veil between our realms. I am pleased."

"You honor us. If you would follow us, we will guide you to our preparations, oh great one"

They began walking towards the exit, as countless demons cleared the path outside.

Ellison whispered to Phatos. "Where is Darkfist?"

"The flyboy killed him. Can't say I saw that coming."

The Dark Energy Man stopped and turned to the Demon holding Sidestep.

"An offering? The one that killed my last vessel too.  Most appropriate high priest." He nodded to Ellison "The elder one will devour his power immediately after his coming." Pathos smiled as well.

---------------------------------------------------------

My Fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[whippedforkook]

I don’t really have anything to say before the cut lol

spoilers/reactions below

I FUCKING LOVE THE WAY YOU START THIS CHAPTER OFF. I think it’s a really strong- beginning with Jungkook’s ‘rules’ and segue into him being lost in the park. 💯

you. bundled up in a hoodie, no makeup, tongue sticking out while you work to get the shading of that wilted tree just right. it's a public place, there are people out on the streets, cars whizzing past, but jungkook still feels like he's stumbled upon something private, intimate even - so beautiful do you look, so simple and candid. just you in your own little world. his fingers practically itch for a camera.

ALSLSKSHKLSJAJAAHSJDgk

...leaf in his hair and all.

LMFAOOO

...round eyes blinking at you through his hair innocently like he isn't all hard edges and stiff lines from the shoulders down.

Kill me 🥵💀

"or do i have to reach level fifty before unlocking your tragic backstory?"

"try level one hundred,"

Absolute perfection.

you're still in denial all the way to the movie theatre, right up until hoseok pays for the tickets and the popcorn and the good coke.

Lmao! But also... *whispers* wdym by the good coke? 😂

"i'll buy you flowers for as long as you'll let me."

HOBI. *swoons*

[jungkook 9:42pm] my plan is to run with the cute thing until i evolve. charmander was cute in the beginning too but then he becomes charizard n everyones like woahhh

[you 9:43pm] are you literally 7 yrs old. am i talkin to ash ketchum rn

[jungkook 9:43pm] pls dont be silly noona ash was 10

[you 9:45pm] so older than u then

[jungkook 9:49pm] can we stop talking abt pokemon now im trying to flirt

[you 9:50pm] dont say that or ur ash hyung will be sad

I am CACKLING. Loudly. My neighbors can probably hear me 😂😂😂😂 I’m fucking dead; this is comedic gold.

so what did hobi do?" he asks simply. "eat the nuggets off your plate? propose a threesome before the third date? wear denim on denim?"

"...one of those is not like the other, tae."

"you're right. if he took your nuggets the fucker wouldn't be even be alive right now."

Damn, I was still fucking laughing about ‘Ash hyung’ and you hit me with this 😂😂😂 I CAN’T.

The entire scene where JK finds MC in the rain and picks her up is so... achingly beautiful. I love it. I think about it a lot. It really stays with me. I think it’s a really powerful part of the story; it’s such a vulnerable moment that she just happens to be now sharing with JK and although he’s unsure of himself, he navigates it quite well.

you wait for it; the spiel of expletives that usually follows when you divulge your past. how your former family don't deserve you, how you should turn your back on them just as they did to you, how wrong they were and how much better off you are in the long run. all things that you whole-heartedly agreed with, if you didn't you wouldn't be here. but moving on isn't a straight line. forgetting isn't like waiting for a pin to drop.

Yup. This. Exactly this. 💯

“…i can't help you with the other stuff, but i can help you with that."

😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️ literally this is so kind and special and shit like this means a lot.

Just. Sheer perfection. The entire fucking chapter. So many complicated things going on here and you write them so deftly. Like. Girl. Your mind. I’ve read this fic more times than I can count and it just never disappoints. It’s always good and it always makes me feel the way it did the first time I read it. ❤️

p.s. this formatting is probably a fucking mess I did this on mobile.

just one (iii)

notes: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

warnings: eventual smut, swearing, bad habits (mentions of drinking, smoking etc)

genre: humour, drama, romance, college!au

wordcount: 7.3k

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

contrary to popular belief, jungkook does set some rules for himself. he doesn’t have many, but the ones he does have he’s strict about.

the first was no drunks in his jeep. he already broke that rule by allowing you and your friend seulgi in, so maybe that was out the window. impressive too, because he hasn’t let anyone in his truck that hammered since jimin after taehyung’s 21st. he threw up all over the dashboard and jungkook could swear he smelt vomit in there for months. even though he’s sensitive to smell and hates repeating the same mistakes, jungkook decided you were worth the risk.

which brings him to his second rule: messing around with girls was just that. messing around. every time he needs reminding of that jungkook remembers the cactus plant taehyung gave him back during his very first semester. he killed that thing in record timing to the point where even taehyung wondered if there was a malevolent spirit in the place, because how else could you kill a cactus? it perfectly depicted jungkook’s most telling trait: he can’t look after things. look out for things, sure. he can step into a fight if his friend needed help or walk an old lady to her car with groceries. because those were a one off, in-the moment things that jungkook is good at navigating. but long term things? investing himself? he could barely stomach his own emotions for a weekend let alone someone else’s, so it really was a recipe for disaster for everyone involved. get in, get out, get going onto the next. that way everybody wins.

and that neatly bleeds into his final rule: no bringing girls back to his place (if he can help it). jungkook preferred to keep his personal and personal personal life separate, so the less girls knew about him outside the bedroom the better. besides, it’s not like he’s totally unreasonable - if his place was closest and the situation called for it, then fair enough. but that was hardly ever the case.

which is why he’s here: stumbling around the park in the middle of the day, totally and utterly lost. he was sure he had taken this shortcut once or twice before but apparently he was wrong, because he didn’t even know this half of the park existed.

“the fuck is this place,” jungkook mutters to himself, shifting as best as he can through a patch of long grass. he’s pretty sure he’s got a twig in his shirt somewhere and he doesn’t even want to think about that squishy thing he just stepped in. his dick may have had a blast last night (and this morning) but the timbs on his feet had definitely seen better days.

jungkook had been wandering around for so long now he considers calling the girl who’s place he’d just left in hopes of getting some directions…but then realised he didn’t have her number. and even if he did, what would he say? i made you cum faster than you could spell out my name but now i need you to fish me out of the park like a lost dog? and then the next hurdle: what was her name again? jane? joy? jill? it quickly becomes irrelevant when jungkook gets through the end of weeds and broken branches to an open plain of grass again. it’s a cloudy day so it wasn’t particularly beautiful to look at, but he’s just happy to be out of the mess of trees. looking out to the large pond of water just where the steepness of a hill stops, he double-takes when he sees that the person sitting atop it is…you.

you. bundled up in a hoodie, no makeup, tongue sticking out while you work to get the shading of that wilted tree just right. it’s a public place, there are people out on the streets, cars whizzing past, but jungkook still feels like he’s stumbled upon something private, intimate even - so beautiful do you look, so simple and candid. just you in your own little world. his fingers practically itch for a camera.

Keep reading

[taehyungiejiminie95]

BTS Reactions - You’re told to commit suicide

Warning - May be upsetting to some readers

Tears run down your face as you listen to your boyfriend’s most recent interview, and the words the MC says. You had recently gone public with your relationship and you were receiving nothing but hate and negativity. This is the final straw - the MC of the show your boyfriend is currently on live is telling you to kill yourself. Your breath catches in your throat and you have nothing but one thought - Okay.

You’re running yourself a bath as you arrange a series of things around you - too many pills, several blades, a gag and some rope. You haven’t decided how to go yet, but you know you don’t want to continue. Everything just hurts so bad. You pick up a blade and go to run it straight up your wrist and you’re so focussed that you don’t even hear your boyfriend come running into the house, having run all the way from the TV studio quite a way away.

Jin

Jin doesn’t know what to do. He mentally kicks himself because he always knows what to do and he hates that it’s in this exact moment that his mind goes blank. He remembers dealing with suicidal thoughts for himself and others before but this is different. It’s deeper. He can’t even put into a coherent thought how much it hurts to even think about you gone. Jin tries to speak as you press the blade to your wrist, but all that comes out is a weak whimper. It alerts you of his presence though, and somehow that helps. His dark eyes swimming with tears in front of yours shocks you so bad that you drop the blade and crash into his arms all in the same second. Jin’s barely able to move, but amidst all the panic and the tears, he holds you up.

Yoongi

Before you even have time to react, Yoongi’s slammed open the bathroom door, jumped across the room and slapped the blade from your hand angrily. It falls into the bathtub with a ‘plonk’ and Yoongi looks at you with an unreadable expression. His chest heaves as he stands up, wiping away his tears furiously while he turns around so that he’s not facing you,

“I just knew you’d do this. We shouldn't have gone public,” He murmurs, feeling an unbearable bitter hatred for his own selfishness, “The moment that stupid man opened his mouth against you, I knew. When he made that disgusting comment, I came. I just had this awful feeling,” Yoongi admits, falling to his knees as he begins to cry, “I’m so sorry,”

Hoseok

Hoseok stands in the bathroom doorway with wide eyes, suddenly unable to move. His chest rises and falls erratically as he struggles to comprehend what he sees before him. Unable to do anything except make a tortured sound, he hopes it’s enough. You whirl around to him, shocked by is presence. The feeling of your eyes on his breaks the spell and he rushes to your side, carefully removing the blade before wrapping you in a warm hug,

“No, jagiya. Don’t turn to that. I need you,” Hoseok whispers, “I can’t live without you,” He admits. He cradles you closer to his chest as he shifts himself to lean against the tub, letting you drape yourself across his chest as you cry out from the ain of the world.

Namjoon

Namjoon tumbles into the bathroom at top speed, falling to his hands and knees n front of you, looking up as his tears begin to spill from his eyes. The dart from the blade pressed threateningly to your wrist to the various pills, the running water and everything else you’d prepared. His heart breaks in that moment and he doesn’t know how to process it. All he’s able to do is lift a shaking and to yours and gently move the blade away. You drop it the moment his skin touches yours, and you collapse into him as he whispers to you,

“Never leave me, jagiya. I need you. You’re perfect. Please,” And various other phrases to the same effect. You can feel his thumping heartbeat against your chest and you sigh against him, suddenly feeling a little more worthy.

Jimin

You hear your name shouted and you turn to see Jimin holding himself up on the doorframe, eyes leaking tears, arms tense and chest heaving. He stumbles a little into the room, falling to his knees in front of you from the exhaustion of sprinting for so long. He inches forward until he can clumsily knock the blade away and hold your hands tight enough that you know he’s there, but not so tight that it’s bone-crushing. His eyes lift to meet yours as his bottom lip quivers and he tries to string together how he feels. Even during the best of times this would be tricky for him - it really is indescribable. Ultimately, he doesn’t convey even 5% of it, instead only managing a few words,

“Jagi don’t leave me,”

Taehyung

Taehyung whispers your name as he watches you from the doorway, his muscles rendered useless the moment he processed the image in front of him. He knows he’ll never forget it - the puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, tangled hair, frightened expression and the complete lack of hope in your eyes - but somehow he still believes with every fibre of his being that you look perfect. It’s a sight he wished he’d never have to have seen, but you’re still beautiful to him, even as you drop the blade and let out a body-wracking sob and start hiccupping between apologies,

“You don’t need to be sorry. Princess, Oppa’s here now. There’s nothing to worry about,” Taehyung assures you, lifting you up to hold you to his chest.

Jungkook

Jungkook finds himself frozen as he registers the blade between your delicate fingertips. He’d most likely ruined his image. First of all, the entire group had to physically hold him down to stop a full-blown assault on the disgusting man, and he’s then run out of an interview, pushing people out of the way in his haste to get back to you. You hadn't told him about your struggles, but he’s not completely oblivious. He knew you could end up doing exactly this. But now that he’s in front of you, watching it happen, he doesn’t know what to do. Jungkook shouts at himself internally, wising he could just get up and stop you, but he can’t. His legs won’t move and all he can do is drop to the floor with a thud, hoping you’ll realise that he’s there, and he’s there for you.

Requested by anon

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