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I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!

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This footage of Elmo after messing up a take on Sesame Street is peak relatable

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> In 2009, the company removed copies of George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm, explaining the books had been mistakenly published. More recently, many of Roald Dahl’s books, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, were replaced with updated copies...

Wow. Talk about irony. These actions are the job performed by the protagonist of 1984.

Folks, if you've got ebooks from the 'Zon, please take note of this issue.

After February 26th, you can only download books from the Kindle store to your e-reader over Wi-Fi. ...It’s a feature that a lot of Kindle users are probably not aware of, given books can be more easily sent to devices over Wi-Fi, but it’s especially useful for backing up purchases or converting them to other formats compatible with non-Kindle e-readers. ...It doesn’t happen frequently, but as Good e-Reader points out, Amazon has occasionally removed books from its online store and remotely deleted them from Kindles or edited titles and re-uploaded new copies to its e-readers. In 2009, the company removed copies of George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm, explaining the books had been mistakenly published. More recently, many of Roald Dahl’s books, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, were replaced with updated copies featuring modified language on various ebook platforms. It’s a reminder that you don’t actually own much of the digital content you consume, and without the ability to back up copies of ebooks, you could lose them entirely if they’re banned and removed.

So, a word to the wise...

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"Hey god?" "Yes, Larry?" "You existed before the universe, right? And supposedly always existed?" "Yes, that's true." "What was infinity like, before you made the universe?" "Ah. Not one human has asked me that before. Well, I guess it's time I tell someone about before the first 7 days."

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If I ever get fired from a job I hope all my coworkers get together to eat a watermelon sculpture of my head

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"OK, Larry, you may want to sit down, this might take a while."

"So, in the beginning was the Word, they did at least get that part right in the big book. However, no-one has recorded that the word in question was 'Bugger'."

"I know, not what you expected. It probably should have been something more impressive, maybe with Richard Strauss Also Spraching the old Zarathustra, but no. The Word that was with me at the moment of creation was 'Bugger'.

"See, the thing was, I had forty-three million square miles of firmament to nail up overnight - not that there were nights yet, mind you, lucky escape on that one - and I was on the ninety-sixth floor of the scaffolding when I dropped the hammer."

"So I climb down all ninety six ladders to the Infinite Formless Void and can I find the sodding thing? Can I 'eck as like? I was seriously tempted to start ahead of schedule with the whole Let There Be Light business, except that would have all the sub-contracted processes kicking in before I was ready for them... Oh yes, I sub-contracted out some of your universe. Back at the beginning I thought I knew it all, see? I did whole universes by myself. Why get any one else in to do constellations or plumb the rain cycle in, it would just mean less profit for me, right?"

"So by the time I was thirty-five or so - oh, not years, obviously, gods don't work in anything that small other than the fiddly fine-tuning once a universe has compiled properly and is running. Where was I? Oh, yes, I almost burnt out by the time I was thirty-five. It took the almost catastrophic failure of a universe to wake me up: I forgot to input the main stellar sequencing before initialising the pumps and we had stars going supernova from old age within minutes of the Word being said. The Word on that one was 'Bang!'. I was trying to be showy to make up for the nervous breakdown I was on the verge of.

"Anyway. After that one very nearly cost me my career, I decided to slow down and take my time, get some of the newer lads to do the dull, complicated bits and focus on craftsmanship. I mean, it's not every universe that has an inhabited planet where the moon is at the exact distance necessary to occlude all but the sun's corona during an eclipse, is it? That took some working out, let me tell you...

"You all right, there, lad? You do seem to have gone a funny colour."

"Hey god?" "Yes, Larry?" "You existed before the universe, right? And supposedly always existed?" "Yes, that's true." "What was infinity like, before you made the universe?" "Ah. Not one human has asked me that before. Well, I guess it's time I tell someone about before the first 7 days."

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i can't believe terry pratchett created the Community pizza gag back in 1989

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Comparing the rotations of objects in the Solar System. Just look at them lol.✨🪐

To everyone that's confused, the planet Venus rotates very very slowly, with a single revolution taking about 243 Earth days, and Mercury rotates slowly, but not as slow as Venus.

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I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!

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this is fred, the dot.

fred wants to grow into a beautiful tree, but sadly has no branches

reblog to give fred a branch

i will post fred status updates as he grows

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Absolutely evil that one can oversleep and then still be really tired.

What do you mean sleep doesn't work like it does in video games? What do you mean I can't just fill up a need metre and go about my day?

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OK so my shitpost R&D department was researching the viability of a jocular analogy between national language regulators, war rationing, and soviet bread lines. This isn't a viable product right now so you'll have to just kind of imagine that it's funny, but the idea is, like, people are running out of words because they offshored development and then a war footing devastated international trade, so now there aren't enough words to go around and the government is publishing all these posters encouraging people not to waste them. The government has stepped in to nationalize word production and distribution but because all the best words are going to the Posters on the war front, the public has to spend hours in line just to get a random selection of words that they can hardly use. People have to find a way to smuggle in illegal foreign words or rely on unsafe home-brewed vocabulary while repurposing all the new words for munitions and war strategy to talk about groceries and romance. Barter dominates, especially in the provinces, as people try to scrounge together a functional vocabulary to educate their children.

Anyway I'm dropping it because I realized that while this is hard to make into a good joke, it would actually be a fantastic strategy/puzzle game. Someone go make that!

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Get a random coordinate here.