#people always ask how i lost all my weight and i dont know what to say to them

[coffeandgum]

right now, I am about to make you quit eating junk food forever.

(tw kinda meanspo)

After watching these videos, can still eat this trash disguised as food? do you still dare?

if you do, then don't wonder why you feel like trash all day, binge and gain weight..

like come on, stop being an idiot. have you ever wondered why you just cant stop reaching out for these specific foods? why your cravings just don’t seem to go away no matter how much you try? why it feels like you’re being controlled?

well here’s the answer: you are literally being controlled, and you fell into the trap that most people fall into.

these foods are designed to alter the way your brain works, as shown in the first video. you cant even think right anymore! they will turn you into a mindless robot that works for these companies and helps them gain more money. you are a slave to them, it's pathetic.

I’ve been powerless to food my entire life. in the past, almost every single day ended up in a binge. I felt stuck, hopeless, and it seemed like no matter what i did, nothing would change, because I fell back into my old habits as soon as I decided to get rid of them. so I would get depressed, binge on trash like ice cream, chocolate bars, pizza, and believe me, i would take in 5000+ calories a day, not even joking. then, i feel like trash, i decide to start again, fail, go back to the trash, and the cycle goes on. i didn't know what was wrong with me.

but I broke the cycle, and you can too.

I’ve been trash free for more than half a year and I have never felt better, physically and mentally. my diet consists of clean food only, and i dont miss the ultra processed bullshit, not one bit. i would rather die than have it enter my body ever again. and to sum it up:

I’ve lost more than 12kg while eating the same amounts, even more, but of course I take in VERY less calories.

My mental health issues disappeared, I’m not even joking. last year I was diagnosed with adhd, ocd and anxiety disorder. even my psychiatrist is impressed because I was in such a bad place at that time, and I managed to heal on my own, just by fixing my habits and diet.

I don’t remember the last time i binged. and when i did, it wasn’t even a “huge” binge, i ate a maximum of 2000cal (my maintenance calories), because i was binging on fruits and veggies, so i wasn’t even gaining even on my worst days.

It has never been easier to say no to food. I have control because i am aware of what I want inside my body.

my body is more toned and my blood tests show significant improvement. my skin, hair and nails are healthier and better looking.

I rarely crave unhealthy foods. i said rarely because sometimes during my period i get some cravings, but they dont feel as strong as before. and if i craved anything at all, it would be something like a fruit. i literally prefer fruits over any dessert because they taste better to me. it feels like my taste buds are rejecting the processed foods and added sugar. like my taste buds are so used to real sweetness like fruit, that when i eat something like a chocolate bar, its always a disappointment, because it doesnt taste as good as i imagined it to be! its almost crazy.

there’s no secret. just quit throwing trash in your body. feed it what it actually needs. pairing good nutrition with consistent workout is the best thing you can do to yourself. it will literally heal you inside out and you will fix your broken brain, that has been ruined by the junk you’ve been eating.

clean your food, clean your body. it's time to be aware!

if you have any questions or need advice, feel free to ask, id be happy to help. <3

[prof-peach]

It's me again, I'm throwing my two cents in and asking. What are your thoughts on the competitive side of Pokémon caring. or more accurately, Pokémon battles? Especially the gym challenge and the champions themselves? Have you ever tried the gym challange before prof?

While in my youth I did the gym challenges, it all seemed rather staged for me, and i quickly figured out that the gym circuit is built for children, by adults to instil some form of confidence and independance in the youngsters who partake. I swiftly lost interest before completing any of them, but I think my old badges are somewhere, probably rusty by now. The whole organised gym system region to region is a well funded training scheme. Youngsters travel around with pokemon to get to grips with their teams, their independence, and their skills. Gyms offer a challenge to those who never much dipped their toes into the battling world, and many don't partake or bother with it for a whole host of reasons that are all equally valid. It is not a necessity to be a great trainer, nor is it required if you simply dont wish to do it. For most, its a fun challenge, but it does hold relative weight when applying for some job types as an adult, as it proves you can independently shift around and complete a set of tasks of your own volition, using critical problem solving skills on the fly. It has a whole host of benefits, and if you enjoy it and your pokemon enjoy it, then its a great way to earn some cash and blow off some steam!

BUT, that being said, the gym circuit is a tame version of reality. It is a low level set of tasks built to help those not as confident or well versed in battles. Even the more difficult leaders and gyms are playing a role, and while they may have their pokemon trained to a skilled, practiced adults capacity, for the most part they dumb down the fights and make sure they arent impossible for opponents to face. It is meant to be a challenge, not a slaughter, so to speak.

In the real world, people dont always get this safe space to learn how to handle a battle, there is blood, there are injuries, there can be deaths, but in a gym trial, that is harshly reduced, and fatalities are rarely encountered thankfully. With this in mind, I do believe the gym trials are a vital part of some peoples journey, but once you get past them and interact with the real world, where bad guys arent pulling punches like gym leaders do, you realise that you partook in a system that was all soft edges.

the champions and various elietes you encounter are HEAVILY trained guides for peoples journeys, and while some have been dubious, perhaps they slipped through the net, or paid their way into the position, most do the job of training new generations well, and with great precision. It takes a lot to train pokemon to the level they do, and teach with every move. It's a good job, much like any educator, and provides ample reward to see trainers come and go all the more confident and prepared for the real world. The skills it takes to be a gym leader are quite high, as your pokemon have to know when to stop, and how to hit hard, but not TOO hard that you injure opponents. Its a fine line and they walk it well for the most part.

As for the higher tiers of the gym circuits, well, they prove somewhat challenging to anyone on this path, but they too are simply adults hired to do a job, should they show the right aptitude. they get paid, they go home, and most of the time it is simply another form of the education sector.

I personally dont care for it much, but i have a bias others do not, and if i step away from it, its very clear to see that the gyms and the challenges they pose have great benefits for many people and pokemon, and often they offer help and support during times of disaster, such as fires or influx of pests on crops, and the likes. It goes to show they teach people more than how to fight, Alola in particular has a very harmonious balance within its practices, encouraging trainers to do what they can to help the community, without harming too many mons in the process, and to think outside the box when problem solving. Some of the finest trainers come from alola, thanks to their highly adaptive teaching methods.

overall i'd say if you want to partake, go for it! its certainly a safe way to train, but it does not mean you wont be great with pokemon or in a battle if you dont. I certainly never finished them, i know many who never did a single one, and are fantastic trainers. It's a great aid, but not the only way to succeed. So long as you treat your team with care, you research before you get new partners, and you take into consideration their wants FIRST, as their guardians, then youre on the right track. I could go on, but overall everythin gi ever preach comes back to mutual consent and being honest and open with pokemon. They put their faith in us to help them and be their trainers, so we can only try to do our best. If they dont want to fight, pushing them is immoral.

[ratsonastick]

could you do jock!clarisse x nerd!(fem)reader and like clarisse bullies reader but then they somehow like each other at the end! idk if this makes sense but i loved your other fics of clarisse! tyyy xxx

Jock!Clarisse La Rue x NerdFem!Reader

AN - Hey! Sorry, this took me so long to answer I didn't notice I had a request!!

I also don't know If you want this as a modern HC or camp .... so we are gonna do Modern and kinda mix it up! xoxo - Emma

˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆

Clarisse was someone everyone knew about, she was the star on the field for the hammer throw (Which for those who dont know is when you throw a heavy ball in the air and you try to make it go a far distance … requires a LOT of upper arm muscles) 

Everyone admired her, but you? You hate her. She always had something to say, especially ever since the day that you said no to givng her the homework answers. 

Ever since that day she always picked on you, saying something that made you roll your eyes and tell her to get lost. 

If you havent figured it out yet the reason why this all started was because she thought you were smart … everyone does, and thats why she had asked you for the answers. She though you would have said yes, an easy target, but she was mistaken when she realized how stubborn you are.

“What is the answer to this.” You heard a voice ask, disturbing your peaceful evening in the library. “When will you ever stop.” You mumbled, not even having to look up to realize it was Clarisse. 

“Once you give me the answers” She answered with a roll to her eyes as if you should have already known the answer. 

You stood up grabbing your book but before you fully stepped away from the table you grabbed your notebook before she could grab it which made her sigh. Getting up she followed you as you walked down the dark isles of books, dim lights following the two of you. 

“Don't you have practice to get to?” you asked softly stopping abruptly which caused her to almost crash into you, “stalking me Y/n? How do you know I got practice.” She asked, not stopping the smirk that covered her face.

You turned to look at her, an annoyed look on your face “Everyone knows when you have practice… don't go thinking you're so special now.” you mumbled starting to walk again but she cut off your exit by standing in front of you and raising her arms. “Where are you going so soon?” she asked a piece of her hair falling in her face and for a moment you felt something change in your stomach, maybe it was a fear or maybe it was butterflies. 

“Clarisse … move.” You mumbled, looking to meet her in the eyes but she shook her head “Give me the answers.” She spoke clearly, her smile dropping “I told you, Clarisse, keep dreaming.” she rolled her eyes and shook her head “I don't think you understand” 

“I don't understand? You're the one who keeps trying to get answers from me even when I say no. if you don't understand the work then maybe you could ask me for help instead.” You spoke back with more of an annoyed voice, pushing her arms down which felt so strong in your grasp, and then walked away. 

She followed your figure as you walked, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned her weight onto one hip. “You’ll regret this.” She yelled out and you just waved her off. 

The next day you continued your life as usual, but this time you felt more people staring at you. It wasn't until your friend stopped you in the hallway did you found out why “Is it true?” she asked to which you looked at her with a puzzled look “Is what true?” you mumbled and she seemed even more confused “that you made a move on Clarisse.” 

You stopped for a moment “Hello? Clarisse? The girl I hate with all my life? No way.” you let out a chuckle at the thought, but you couldn’t help the shake in your hands increase. You didn't know who made this rumor, or why they did it in the first place. 

You have no issues with anyone (Except Clarisse) always trying to help others (Except Clarisse) theres no reason as to why someone would make such a weird rumor. 

Later that day you found yourself in the library again, helping the librarian put the books away. You were on the top floor that no one ever really went to unless it was to make out. You looked outside the window and saw the teams playing on the field, Clarisse and her teammates had finished up because you saw her swinging her bag over her shoulder and walking off towards the library. 

You let out an annoyed sigh hoping she wouldn't find you, but just as you thought of her you swore she looked up at you. 

So you quickly pushed the cart forward so you weren't in front of the window anymore.

It didn't take long for her to find you, you turned down an aisle and saw her standing there leaning against the shelf. “Can I help you?” you asked as you grabbed a book and traced the shelf until you found a spot for it. 

“Just wanted to see if you liked the little rumor?” she smiled coming closer to you “Oh yeah it was very clever” you spoke with a shrug as you walked down the aisle moving so you wouldn't hit her “All the teams were talking about it at practice.” You felt embarrassed for a moment but just shrugged your shoulders. 

“Okay … oh and by the way Mrs.Cofin wants me to help you in English.” You mumbled as you turned back to look at her, her smirk wiped off. “What! You little shit why didn’t you say no!”

She yelled and you quickly hushed her “Don't you think I wanted to! I have no choice, if you don't pass her class you'll be kicked off the time. I’m doing you and the school a favor.” 

You spoke annoyed, a frown on your face as she licked her lip and rolled her eyes, “Fine” she grumbled and walked off which made you shake your head. 

The next day you were back in the Library, top floor for privacy as you sat at a small table. Clarisse showed up late which didnt surprise you, she flung her bag onto the floor and leaned on the palm of her hand. 

You started to explain things to her looking over the notes the teacher had given you to help her. Clarisse couldn't help but not listen, she just stared at you with annoyance, but after a while, it started to feel like she was looking at you for another reason. 

“Okay do you understand that?” you asked and she nodded her head, adverting her gaze from you and instead at the paper. “Yeah… yeah I understand” she spoke softly. 

These tutoring sessions continued for the next few weeks, and even though it sucked, it started to feel like you both hated each other less.

She started to listen to what you said, and you took the time to learn about her sport so when she complained you understood what she was saying. 

You both still made fun of each other, bickered often, and rolled your eyes at each other, but you both couldn't help it, it's just how it's always been. 

But Clarisse picked on you less, smiled at you in the hallway, and always acknowledged your presence, and thats all you've ever needed from her. 

One day something in the air made you think differently about her, and the thoughts made your stomach flutter. It didn't help that your friend started to tease you in the hallway about the possibility of her taking you to the upcoming prom since the two of you got along. 

When you saw her walk past you in the hallway when you were with your friend, you couldn't help but follow her with your eyes, and when she smiled at you, your friend just watched you and how you reacted and let out a squeal when she saw you blush.

That afternoon you hated yourself, why did you like the girl that always had it out for you. 

As you waited for her in the library, you laid your head down on the table, you wouldn't even work out if you started dating anyways. The two of you are complete opposites, and even know that you are semi-friends you still bicker, it would be a bad relationship. 

Plus you saw her with that boy Ryan, so she probably doesn't even like girls. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt someone tapped your head and sat down. You raised your gaze and watched as she got herself comfortable in her seat “What's wrong with you today?” she asked with a sigh as she finally stopped to look at you. 

“Nothing … just thinking.” 

“When are you not.” she snickered, but as she looked back at you, and realized you seemed actually upset her smile dropped. 

“Okay … that's enough, just tell me what's wrong so you'll start yapping and we can end tutoring early,” she spoke up leaning back in the chair, her hand playing with the pencil she took from you 2 days ago.

"It's nothing really. Just something my friend said.” You mumbled shaking your head and opening your notebook. “Really? What’d she say.” Clarisse spoke a bit harsher sitting up in her chair. “I can do something.” 

You shook your head “No! You don't have to do anything … it's not like we are together you don't have to take care of me.” You mumbled which made you mentally smack yourself ... who says that!

She paused and watched you as you flipped through your pages “Okay but what if I want to.”

You paused and looked at her confused “Want to what?” 

“Take care of you,” she answered, a serious look on her face. You let out a short chuckle and looked away from her “You don't want to.”

“But I do.” She answered, you noticed how she sat up more, something she did when she was getting defensive, her knuckles turned slightly white as she clenched her hands, the rings cutting off some of her circulation. 

"you really don't" you mumbled trying to convince yourself she didn't for some reason

“Says who,” she replied, her face still straight which confused you. Clarisse was being honest she wanted to help you, this whole time she always wanted to and the only reason she picked on you was that she knew no one else would, you were hers only. 

“Says you Clarisse, you hate me.” You replied, scrunching your eyebrows in confusion as if you had missed something. 

She scoffed “I thought you were smart.” She dropped the pencil on the table and slouched in the chair, her arms crossing over her stomach as her legs widened. 

Your mouth slightly opened and you shook your head back, confused “I'm sorry … did I miss something?” you asked and she scoffed “Yeah maybe the part where I like you! Do you really think I would’ve complied with these tutoring sessions if I didn't?” 

“Uhm yeah … your sport-” She cut you off “ That I dont care about.” 

“Okay, but the rumor-” She cut you off again “Was only created so people thought you were only into me so no one would go after you.”

You sat there dumfounded for a few moments, “Oh” 

“Oh” she answered back, she looked away for a moment “So I’m guessing you dont like me?” 

You closed your eyes and shook your head “Okay woah woah woah … lets slow down partner.” you raised your hands slightly and opened your eyes to see her smiling, inching closer to you. 

Before you knew it her lips were on yours, and you had your arms wrapped around her shoulders. You never thought you would be one of those people who would be found making out in the library, yet here you are. 

A nerd and a jock, opposites attract I suppose. 

Anywho after a few moments she finally pulled back, a smile gracing her red lips that were plum from the kiss. “So I’ll take that as a yes?” 

“A yes to what?” you asked still in a bet of a haze “A yes to being my prom date.” 

“Oh yeah”

[goomyloid]

PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN

i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing

i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far

tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh

ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn

so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.

back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.

im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?

jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless

thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise

and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?

no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…

she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.

[kindestofkings]

sunshine baby [1]

robert keating x reader (she/her)

faceclaim: gracie abrams (ofc hahah)

authors note: hello hello! this is a really random one, I am a broken record but I am self projecting in these hence why the reader is always home friends with the boys. also theres so many time skips lol

I really home you enjoy, would really appreciate any feedback or comments yee might have <33

2020

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername 2 months into lockdown we are playing, we are hot girl walking and most importantly we are hot girl drinking 💅

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bobbyskeetz thanks for choosing the most flattering photos luv x

yourusername any time baby any time :))

yourbestfriend i miss you and your impromptu sing songs <3

yourusername no I miss you so much !! boys are really smelly sometimes 😀 yourbestfriend thats what you get for dating bobby SKEETZ bobbyskeetz heyy yourusername I know right?? bobbyskeetz HEYYYY

elijahhewson there is very little going on behind those eyes

yourusername the bulmers was very warm... and we just lost a zoom quiz

joshjenkinson_ keep our boy sane !

yourusername and whos gonna keep me sane?? whos gonna keep me alive? ryanmcmahon_15 did you put yourself on the line?

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend and others

yourusername as y'all know I dabble with playing some piano andddd my very cool, talented boyfriend and his friends asked me to play on a few tunes for their DEBUT ALBUM. thank you for briefly employing me :))

view all 30 comments

joshjenkinson_ no thank YOU

ryanmcmahon_15 we owe you forever, this is so exciting !

bobbyskeetz as your boss can you make me a cuppa?

yourusername and your legs stopped working when?? also you're closer to the kitchen than I am rn!

bobbyskeetz they just cant take the weight of being such a musical success 😔 friend1 @bobbyskeetz how does she put up with you? bobbyskeetz shh dont make her reflect on her decisions

yourmam so proud of you chicken!!

yourbestfriend and the start of your music career is when?

yourusername oh hush you heheh elijahhewson she asks the important questions yourusername why be a musician when you can be a broke college student right 😀

yourusername posted to their story!

if the boys have zero fans, i am dead.

bobbyskeetz so extreme but I love you <3

bobbyskeetz

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

bobbyskeetz EVEN BIGGER NEWS !!! Our greatest hits debut album is coming out on July 16th for all you beautiful people to hear. We poured our hearts and souls into this and can’t wait for you to listen . Couldn’t have done it without @theantski @thedrewmanshow @johncatlin @andrea.cozzaglio and all the other talented people who helped get this record finished.

IT WONT ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS !

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bobbyskeetz ALSO @yourusername for the pretty piano playing

yourusername hushhh rn CONGRATS ON THE SUPERB album

inhalerfan1 i'm seriously so proud of you guys 💙

inhalerfan2 finallyyyy

yourmam well done boys!! huge achievement

bobbyskeetz thank you :))

yourusername

liked by yourmam and others

yourusername it is very cool and a lil strange seeing my fella on posters while im on my daily hot girl walk....

it always be wont this like is out today woooo!

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elijahhewson I dont remember that photo being taken 😑

yourusername you just release your debut album you gotta celebrate! yourfriend shes just too nice, you were locked.

yourmam lovely photo, why are yee outdoors though? 😂

bobbyskeetz sure we're following covid restrictions! you're looking at four v responsible boys!! yourmam hmmm I don't know about that one now!

yourbestfriend no cause robert and sir hewson would wanna stop looking into my soul..

elijahhewson ����😐 bobbyskeetz 😐😐 bobbyskeetz what about josh huh he's also throwin some looks yourbestfriend josh can do whatever he wants 🫶🏼 (liked by joshjenkson_ and yourusername)

yourusername oh also everyone compliment ryan on his GORGEOUS hair

yourbestfriend such a power move I adore x yourfriend ryan how does it feel being coolest member of dublin's coolest band?? joshjenkson_ so fit, is he single...?

bobbyskeetz not sure if you got the album name exactly right there..

yourusername huh I dont see anything wrong 🤔

2021

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername the trio is back and just in time to see the boys killing it at fairview park 🔥

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yourbestfriend forget about them WE are killing it

yourfriend mmhmm we slay 😤

yourbestfriend posted to their story!

when the base player with a staring problem is away, the girlies can steal his girlfriend 🤘🏼

bobbyskeetz oi oi get your feet of my dining table 😤

bobbyskeetz

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bobbyskeetz happy birthday beautiful.

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inhaler1 this is my thirteenth reason 💔

yourusername miss you rockstar!

inhaler1 miss girl who are you? and can you please accept my follow request

inhaler2 nooooooo you're taken ?!?

ryanmcmahon_15 hundreds of girls heartsbroken with the softest of soft launches haha

lewevans the spooky powers of mr skeetz

yourbestfriend FINALLY you're letting him show you off

yourusername haha this is too much please stop 🥺 🥰

inhalerfanupdates

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inhalerfanupdates I hope its real cause I need a gun after seeing bobbys soft launch

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inhalerfan1 im so sad I cant

inhalerfan2 im afraid to ask but how long do you think they've been together

inhalerfan3 i 😭 cant 😭😭 think 😭😭😭 about 😭😭😭😭 it

part 2

[tea-and-secrets]

would it be ok to ask that this one is posted soon? i could use reassurance about it if thats alright? things are just... really hard.

im trying to come to terms with the fact that im going to be disabled for the rest of my life. i accept that im disabled *now,* but i have a degenerative disease, its not going to just stop being there. its going to keep getting worse slowly over time.

its especially hard because... even now i cant do my favorite hobby, rockhounding, because i cant bend without risking falling, i cant get on the ground to pick things up and/or dig because i wouldnt be able to get up on my own, and i cant navigate most off-road areas where the rocks im interested in are most often found.

i also desperately want to be a geologist. but i wanted more than anything to be doing fieldwork, like going out and taking samples from various areas, making maps of what could be found where based on my samples... that sort of thing. but ill never be able to do it and i have to come to terms with that.

it will get bad enough that i will need a wheelchair at some point in my life too. like, at some point within the next five to ten years.

ill also never be able to pick people up again. my whole life ive prided myself in picking people i love up during hugs, spinning them around, that sort of thing. i especially loved picking up my best friend.

they understand that i cant do that anymore and theyve never expressed sadness over it, but i cant help but think about how delighted theyve always been about me picking them up and spinning or wiggling them during hugs, and how they used to ask multiple times each hangout to be picked up and hugged.

and even if they arent upset about it, *i* am. i want to be able to do what i used to be able to. but i cant. and i never will again.

its just hard, knowing ill never be able to reach my dream career, continue my favorite outdoor hobby, continue giving love to my friends in the ways i like to... theres so much i can no longer do, and so much ill never be able to do again.

its just really hard. i dont want to be this way. but i am and i always will be, and it will get worse even if i do things like meds and physical therapy. those would just delay the collapse of my disease.

im just sad. i dont want to have to come to terms with it. but i have to or else im setting myself up for even more grief.

and its all because my mom wouldnt get me treated when i was injured in my teenage years. that injury going untreated for so long is what caused my degenerative disease to start so early. my mom has it too but she didnt start developing it until her fourties.

and then for years after my injury when talking about my back pain she just kept saying it was because im fat and that it would stop hurting if i lost weight.

which of course sparked the eating disorder i had previously recovered from.

which ive been struggling with now again for years because of that. but i was getting better again.

until now. because my body hurts too bad to get out of bed often enough to eat a healthy amount so im rapidly losing weight and my brain is saying i have to keep going and going.

and, the wheelchair thing... all my friends live and are going to live places with a lot of stairs. and *i* live somewhere with a lot of stairs too. and the doorframes in all these places arent wide enough for a wheelchair, nor are the bathrooms large enough.

its just all so hard to think about. i hate it. i want to get better and heal like a normal person would, not be in pain constantly and get worse like my body is going to.

thank you for listening. sorry for how long this is.

if i could get reassurance in tags or replies that would be really nice. this is all just so hard and i only have a few people i can confide in about it.

<3

[songbirdseung]

younger / choi beomgyu

song recommendation: younger by ruel

non-idol!beomgyu ~ childhood friends to lovers? ~ angst / wc: 4k

(dont be a silent reader, comment and let me know what you think about the story~~)

You and Beomgyu would roam the nighttime streets together, hidden from the watchful eyes of unaware parents. The glow of the television, coupled with the stubborn persistence of bedroom lights, painted a canvas of secrets. Yet, it's been ages since you last crossed paths, the innocence that once bound you together seemingly lost in the labyrinth of time. Beomgyu's absence left you in a void, the shadows deepening as he disappeared into the darkness of a park, a departure marking the irreversible shift in the dynamics of your relationship. The echoes of those nights linger, but the connection you once shared now stands as a mere silhouette of what it used to be—forever altered, and, regrettably, never to be the same again.

At the tender age of eleven, he departed without a trace, leaving you without farewells or explanations. In the quiet of the night, both sets of parents chose not to awaken you, and when dawn broke, your innocent request for a playdate with Beomgyu was met with the somber gazes of your own parents. They delivered the heart-wrenching news that he had relocated to another city, and in that moment, at the age of eleven, you found yourself mourning the abrupt loss of a best friend of nine years.

In the soft morning light that filtered through your bedroom curtains, you excitedly approached your parents with the anticipation of a playdate with Beomgyu. The sparkle in your eyes dimmed, however, as you were met with the unusual solemnity that hung heavy in the air.

"Mom, Dad, can Beomgyu come over today? We were going to play our favorite game," you asked, innocence radiating from your hopeful gaze.

Your parents exchanged a glance, their expressions reflecting a shared sorrow. Taking a deep breath, your mother knelt down to your eye level, her eyes carrying a weight that spoke of difficult news.

"Sweetheart," she began, her voice gentle yet laced with sadness, "Beomgyu has moved away to another city."

Your eyes widened, confusion clouding your face. "Moved away? But… why? He didn't even say goodbye."

Your father joined the conversation, crouching down beside you. "It happened late last night, and we didn't want to wake you. Your friend had to leave without saying goodbye, and we're so sorry, sweetheart."

A mixture of disbelief and aching sorrow settled over you. "But he's my best friend. Why didn't he tell me? Will he come back?"

Your mother wrapped you in a comforting embrace, her words soft as she explained, "Sometimes, people have to move for different reasons, and it's not always easy for them to say goodbye. We know how much Beomgyu means to you, and we're here for you, okay?"

You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. The room that once echoed with laughter from shared adventures now felt empty, the absence of your dearest friend creating a void that seemed impossible to fill. As your parents held you close, the pain of losing Beomgyu settled into your young heart, and the innocence of childhood faced its first encounter with the bittersweet sting of change.

-- beomgyu's pov --

Beomgyu stirred from a restless sleep, the hum of the car engine and the rhythmic pattern of streetlights flickering through the window casting an eerie glow. Disoriented and sleepy-eyed, he sat up, rubbing his eyes as he glanced around the dim interior of the car.

"Where are we going?" he asked innocently, the excitement of a family trip bubbling in his voice.

His parents exchanged a glance, and his mother turned to him with a warm smile that held a hint of sadness. "Oh, it's just a small trip, sweetheart. A surprise for you and the family."

Beomgyu's eyes lit up, and a grin spread across his face. "Really? That's awesome! Can't wait to see where we're going. Is Y/N coming too? I want to show them all the cool places!"

His parents shared a glance laden with a poignant understanding, their smiles masking a deeper sadness. "Ah, Y/N couldn't make it this time, but we'll take lots of pictures to share with them when we get back."

Undeterred, Beomgyu leaned back in the seat, his mind already racing with plans for the adventure ahead. "Sure, sure! I'll tell Y/N all about it when we're back. They'll be so jealous they missed out!"

His parents exchanged another look, a silent acknowledgment of the weight behind the words. As the car continued its journey through the night, Beomgyu's innocent excitement filled the space, unaware that the small trip he anticipated was a journey that would reshape the landscape of his life, leaving Y/N and the familiar streets behind in a bittersweet memory.

-- later, beomgyu's pov --

The car's engine sputtered to a stop as the first rays of dawn painted the sky. Beomgyu squinted at the unfamiliar surroundings, confusion etching his features as he realized they hadn't arrived at a hotel as expected, but at a house. His parents exchanged glances, an unspoken acknowledgment of the truth that had yet to be revealed.

As the car doors opened, Beomgyu caught sight of the numerous suitcases and boxes piled in the trunk — more luggage than any ordinary trip would require. A knot of realization tightened in his stomach, the pieces clicking into place like a puzzle he hadn't been prepared to solve.

"Mom, Dad, why did you lie to me?" Beomgyu's voice trembled as he confronted the truth, tears welling in his eyes.

His parents exchanged somber looks, the weight of their decision evident in their expressions. His mother crouched down to his eye level, her voice gentle but tinged with sorrow.

"Sweetheart, we didn't want to upset you. It's just that… we're not going back home this time. This is our new house," she explained, her words hanging heavy in the air.

Beomgyu's eyes widened, the weight of the revelation sinking in. "What do you mean, not going back home? What about my friends? What about Y/N?" His voice quivered, the fear of losing the world he knew becoming too real.

His father placed a hand on his shoulder, attempting to comfort him. "We know it's a lot to take in, Beomgyu. This is a new beginning for us. You'll make new friends, and Y/N will always be a part of your life, even if you're far away."

But the reassurances fell on ears deafened by the ache of change. Beomgyu felt the tears spill over, his heart heavy with the weight of leaving behind the familiar, the friends, and the home he loved. As the reality of the situation settled in, his small shoulders shook with the grief of a chapter ending, and the uncertainty of a new one beginning.

-- months later --

Months passed in the new city, and Beomgyu found himself navigating a different life. The bustling streets, unfamiliar faces, and new routines became the backdrop to his days. His heart yearned for the familiar comfort of the old neighborhood, especially the laughter and shared adventures with you.

Late at night, under the soft glow of a borrowed phone, he'd send short messages, tapping out words of longing. "Miss you. Wish you were here," he'd type, his heart pouring into each letter. The response, when it came, was a fleeting connection to the world he left behind. The distance stretched in both miles and melancholy, and he'd find himself staring at the moon, wondering if you were doing the same.

In the town left behind, you adjusted to a life that seemed to echo with the absence of Beomgyu. The familiar haunts became bittersweet reminders, each corner holding memories of laughter and shared secrets. The longing for your friend filled your days, coloring the mundane with a tinge of melancholy.

The borrowed phone became a lifeline, a precious connection to the friend who now felt galaxies away. "Hey, how's it going there?" you'd text, fingers tapping out words that carried the weight of missing someone. The brief exchanges were a lifeline, moments of solace in the midst of change.

The conversations were small, sporadic, and filled with the silent understanding that this was the best they could manage. "Remember the treehouse? I found a cool park here too," Beomgyu typed, trying to bridge the gap.

"I went to the movies last week. Missed having you there," you replied, the longing evident in the simple words.

Through these fragments of connection, a shared sentiment emerged — the ache of separation and the hope that someday, the miles that kept them apart would lessen, and they'd find themselves under the same moon again. The small texts became the threads that kept their friendship stitched together across the expanse that now lay between them.

--

The soft glow of the moon seeped through Beomgyu's bedroom window, casting a melancholy ambiance on the walls. Sulking in the quiet confines of his room, he couldn't shake the weight of homesickness that clung to him like a shadow. The dinner table downstairs, once a place of familial warmth, seemed like a world away.

His mother, attuned to the echoes of her son's melancholy, gently tapped on the door. "Beomgyu, sweetheart, dinner's ready. Won't you come down and join us?"

A muffled response, barely audible through the closed door, betrayed his disheartened state.

His mother sighed softly before stepping into the room. The soft glow of the bedside lamp revealed Beomgyu, curled up on the bed, a world of longing etched into his eyes.

She sat beside him, offering a tender smile. "What's on your mind, my love?"

His gaze remained fixed on the distant horizon outside the window as he whispered, "I miss home, Mom. I miss Y/N, and I miss everything."

Her heart ached for him. Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, she said, "Change is hard, Beomgyu. I know it feels like everything's different now, but you're strong, and we'll get through this together. Dinner is waiting, but if you need some time, I understand."

His mother's understanding touch was a balm to his soul. Beomgyu turned to her, the vulnerability in his eyes reflecting the depth of his homesickness. "I just wish things could go back to how they were."

She pulled him into a warm embrace, whispering words of comfort. "I know, sweetheart. I know. Let's take it one day at a time, and who knows, maybe one day it will feel like home here too."

With a gentle squeeze, she left the room, allowing Beomgyu a moment to collect himself. The dinner table downstairs awaited, but in that fleeting moment, the warmth of his mother's embrace offered a comforting reassurance in the face of the unfamiliar world that now surrounded him.

-- years later, y/n's pov --

The years rolled by, carrying Beomgyu and Y/N into the realm of adolescence. In the beginning, the smartphones they now possessed became the conduits of their connection, trading messages filled with nostalgia, sharing snippets of their evolving lives. The threads of shared memories were woven into the digital conversations, creating a semblance of the camaraderie they once knew.

However, the inevitable currents of change started to pull them in different directions. New friendships blossomed, and the demands of their individual lives grew, leaving less room for the virtual bridge that once connected them. The exchanges became sporadic, a casual update here and there, their lives gradually filling with new faces and experiences.

Busy schedules and the excitement of forging fresh connections took precedence, and the once vibrant bond between Beomgyu and Y/N began to fray. The messages, once filled with the intimacy of shared memories, became sporadic echoes in a digital landscape that stretched between them.

As the years unfurled, the digital bridge that once connected them morphed into a mere echo of the past. The cadence of their lives, now pulsating with the rhythms of adulthood, left less space for the nostalgic conversations that once fueled their friendship. The bond, though not forgotten, transformed into a distant echo, fading in the background of the bustling lives they now led.

Y/N found herself standing on the precipice of an emotional crossroads. The once inseparable bond she shared with Beomgyu had become a delicate thread, and she desperately tried to hold on to the fragments of what they used to be. The shared laughter, the whispered secrets, and the warmth of their friendship seemed like distant echoes, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.

"You and me were so, so close," she whispered to the quiet confines of her room, the weight of the words echoing in the silence. The ache of the growing distance between them pierced through her heart, a poignant reminder of what once was.

She had tried, oh, how she had tried. Late-night texts and calls filled with the essence of nostalgia were her attempts to salvage the connection that meant so much. But the responses were intermittent, the vibrancy of their conversations replaced by the echoes of unspoken distance.

And maybe that's what hurt the most—the realization that despite her efforts, the bond was slipping away. The fear she had harbored for years was materializing, and the once vivid landscape of their friendship was now a fading canvas.

"It's out of my hands," she admitted with a heavy sigh, as if confessing the truth to herself. The currents of life had taken them in different directions, and there was only so much she could do to alter the course.

"I've done what I can," she whispered, the weight of acceptance settling on her shoulders. The battle against the growing distance felt like an uphill struggle, leaving her with a sense of helplessness.

"So I just save my breath," she concluded, the resolve to hold on giving way to a bittersweet acknowledgment. The breaths she once saved for laughter, secrets, and shared dreams were now exhaled into the void of the changing winds. Yet, amidst the melancholy, a glimmer of gratitude remained—a gratitude for the moments they once shared and the indelible mark Beomgyu had left on her heart.

-- beomgyu's pov --

Beomgyu's phone buzzed once again, signaling another message from Y/N. He retrieved it from his pocket, eyes briefly flickering over the notification. The number of unread messages had reached a daunting 20, each one representing a fragment of a connection he once cherished.

Sighing, he pocketed the phone, the weight of the unread messages settling into the fabric of his jeans. The conversations with his new friends resumed, laughter and banter flowing effortlessly. Soobin, Yeonjun, Huening Kai, and Taehyun became the focal points of his attention, their camaraderie echoing the dynamics he had found within this new circle.

Yet, beneath the surface, there lingered a subtle pang of guilt. He couldn't shake the awareness that Y/N's messages remained unanswered, a stark testament to the growing gap between them. The bond that once defined his world had become a distant memory, replaced by the vibrant energy of his current friendships.

As Beomgyu laughed and shared stories with his newfound companions, the buzzing phone in his pocket seemed to carry the echoes of a connection slipping away. The unread messages represented unspoken sentiments, a conversation that had faded into the background of the bustling life he now led. And with each passing moment, the distance grew, leaving Y/N's messages unanswered in the wake of the evolving chapters of Beomgyu's life.

The laughter of Beomgyu and his friends echoed through the room as they gathered for a casual hangout. Soobin, Yeonjun, Huening Kai, and Taehyun were all there, their camaraderie filling the space with warmth. However, beneath the surface of the banter, Beomgyu carried the weight of unspoken concerns that had been haunting him.

"So, guys," Beomgyu began hesitantly, a hint of vulnerability in his tone. "There's been something on my mind lately."

The room fell into a comfortable silence as his friends turned their attention to him, their expressions shifting from playful to attentive.

"What's up, Beomgyu?" Soobin asked, concern evident in his eyes.

Beomgyu took a moment before continuing, "It's just… I've been feeling kind of guilty about not keeping in touch with someone important to me. We used to be really close, but life happened, and now it's like we're drifting apart."

Yeonjun chimed in, "Is it someone from back home? Your childhood friend?"

Beomgyu nodded, grateful for the understanding in his friends' eyes. "Yeah, Y/N. We were inseparable, but now it feels like we're worlds apart. I've been avoiding their messages, and it's been bothering me."

Huening Kai leaned forward, offering a comforting smile. "It happens, Beomgyu. People change, and life takes us in different directions. It's natural to feel conflicted about it."

Taehyun added, "Maybe you should talk to them about it. It might help clear the air, and who knows, you might find a way to reconnect."

Soobin nodded in agreement. "Communication is key. If they mean a lot to you, they'll understand. And if not, at least you'll have closure."

Beomgyu sighed, a mix of gratitude and apprehension in his expression. "You guys are right. I've just been struggling with how to approach it. I don't want to hurt them or make things awkward."

Yeonjun placed a reassuring hand on Beomgyu's shoulder. "Take your time, but don't let it eat at you. True friends understand, and if they're meant to be in your life, they'll find their way back."

The room fell into a thoughtful silence as Beomgyu absorbed the advice of his friends. The weight on his shoulders felt a bit lighter, knowing he had a support system to lean on. As they continued their hangout, the unspoken understanding between the friends became a source of comfort in navigating the complexities of evolving relationships.

In the quiet hours of the night, Beomgyu found himself alone with his thoughts. The conversation with his friends lingered in his mind, urging him to confront the unease that had been haunting him. With a mix of determination and trepidation, he decided to reach out to Y/N.

He pulled out his phone, fingers hovering over the touchscreen. After a moment's hesitation, he dialed Y/N's number, memories of their countless conversations flooding back. As the dial tone resonated, his heart raced with anticipation.

However, instead of the familiar voice he hoped to hear, an automated system responded. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service."

A wave of disappointment and realization washed over Beomgyu. The connection, once a lifeline between them, had dissolved into the void of disconnected lines. The reality of the situation hit him harder than he expected, and he felt a lump forming in his throat.

He stared at the screen, grappling with the finality of the automated message. The untold words he had been holding back seemed to echo in the silence of the room. Beomgyu was left with the weight of unspoken conversations and the stark reality that the bridge connecting them had crumbled.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, the phone still in his hand. The ache of missed opportunities and lingering questions lingered in the air. In that solitary moment, Beomgyu found himself grappling with the bittersweet truth — that some connections, no matter how meaningful, were destined to fade into the echoes of what once was.

-- y/n's pov --

Deep in my heart, I felt the subtle ache of something irretrievable. The bond that once defined Beomgyu and me seemed to have reached its twilight, leaving behind an unspoken void. His number, once etched into the fabric of my contacts, now felt like a distant memory, and with a heavy heart, I decided to let go.

I knew that it's over, the unspoken chapters of our friendship sealed within the folds of time. The laughter, the shared secrets, and the camaraderie we once held dear now echoed in the corridors of nostalgia.

Deleted your number – a choice made with the reluctant acceptance that some connections were destined to dissolve. The mere absence of those digits felt like erasing a chapter of my history, a chapter that held the echoes of a friendship now lost in the folds of growing up.

So I can't call you, I thought, acknowledging the deliberate choice to distance myself. The yearning for the conversations that once filled the nights lingered, but the awareness that those calls had become echoes of a bygone era weighed heavily on my heart.

As the chapters turned, I couldn't help but wonder how we arrived at this point. The unspoken words hung in the air, carrying the weight of a friendship that had silently evolved into something unrecognizable. And as I navigated the complexities of growing up, the bittersweet realization settled in – some connections, no matter how cherished, were destined to evolve into wistful memories.

-- years later --

At the age of 22, Beomgyu and Y/N found themselves engulfed in the currents of life, their paths diverging with each passing day. The once inseparable bond that defined their younger years had become a distant memory, fading into the background of their individual journeys.

Life's demands, new friendships, and evolving priorities led them in directions that seemed worlds apart. The sporadic messages that once bridged the growing distance had become echoes in the expanse that now lay between them. The phone numbers, once etched into each other's contacts with familiarity, were now just digits in a sea of connections.

Beomgyu navigated the bustling waves of adulthood, his focus on the present and future. The laughter and camaraderie of his new friends became the soundtrack of his days, the memories of childhood adventures and shared secrets relegated to the recesses of nostalgia.

Y/N, too, carved their own path, facing the challenges and triumphs that adulthood presented. The places, faces, and experiences that defined their current lives seemed far removed from the shared landscapes of their past.

--

Y/N found themselves wandering through familiar streets, the city lights casting a glow on the pavement. The purpose of their visit was business, but amidst the meetings and obligations, a sudden wave of nostalgia led them to stroll through the old neighborhood where Beomgyu and they once shared countless memories.

On one of those down-time nights after work, Y/N decided to explore a local spot known for its charm. As they entered the venue, the familiar ambiance felt like a subtle echo from the past. And then, amidst the crowd, Y/N's eyes caught a glimpse of a figure that seemed vaguely familiar.

Squinting through the dim lights, trying to place the face. The realization struck, and a subtle gasp escaped their lips. There, in the midst of the crowd, was Beomgyu – someone they once knew so intimately but now felt like a stranger.

"I didn't even recognize you," Y/N admitted quietly, the passage of time etched on Beomgyu's features. The realization brought a strange mix of emotions – surprise, nostalgia, and an unspoken acknowledgment of the changes life had wrought upon them.

The atmosphere felt charged with the weight of unexpected encounters. Y/N couldn't help but find it kind of strange – the twist of fate that brought them to the same place at the same time, after years of drifting apart.

"Guess that people change," Y/N murmured, watching Beomgyu from a distance. The recognition was met with a pang of melancholy, a subtle mourning for the innocence of the past.

"But I didn't expect you to," they concluded, a quiet lament for the evolution of a connection that once felt unbreakable. In that moment, amidst the city lights and the gentle hum of the crowd, Y/N grappled with the unspoken complexity of seeing someone from their past in a new light.

Peeling her eyes away from Beomgyu, Y/N decided to immerse herself in the present moment, determined to enjoy her time in the city. As she glanced around, she noticed a friendly face beside her, and without hesitation, struck up a conversation with the person seated next to her – Taehyun.

Unbeknownst to both Y/N and Taehyun, the threads of their conversation began to weave together seamlessly. They laughed, shared stories, and delved into topics that transcended the boundaries of the past. It was a delightful encounter, the kind that happens serendipitously in the dance of city life.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu, scanning the room in search of Taehyun, couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation. When his eyes finally landed on them, shock flickered across his face. He saw Y/N engaged in a lively conversation with Taehyun, a person he least expected her to be with.

For a moment, Beomgyu stood frozen, the realization sinking in. The person Y/N was conversing with wasn't just a stranger in this city; it was Taehyun, his friend. The friend who, unbeknownst to both of them, had become a part of this unexpected reunion.

The air crackled with unspoken emotions as Beomgyu navigated the currents of surprise and curiosity. His mind raced, contemplating whether he should approach and reveal the unspoken connections that lingered in the shadows of their past.

-- the next day --

The following day brought another unexpected encounter as Y/N found themselves in the same professional sphere as Beomgyu. Their respective companies were connecting, intertwining their professional worlds in a way that seemed almost fated. As the meetings progressed, the air buzzed with a tension that transcended the confines of business discussions.

Amidst the corporate chatter, Y/N and Beomgyu found themselves in the same room once again. The air was thick with unspoken history, the echoes of their past converging with the realities of the present. As the formalities of business unfolded, they eventually found a moment to step aside and talk, the weight of unspoken conversations hanging in the air.

"Tryna get in touch with you," Y/N began, their tone carrying a mix of frustration and longing. "I don't know where you've been."

Beomgyu met their gaze, a flicker of recognition in his eyes, as if acknowledging the echoes of missed connections.

"Have a conversation, but you'll never let me in," Y/N continued, a raw honesty punctuating their words. The years of distance and unspoken sentiments were etched into the lines of their expression.

"I've tried with you a thousand times," Y/N confessed, the weight of the past hanging between them like a heavy curtain. The frustration of unanswered messages and unspoken sentiments colored their words.

"Maybe I don't have to play the bad guy in the end," Y/N reflected, a plea for understanding. "Because I've been trying hard enough to be a better friend."

The room fell into a heavy silence, the unspoken tension hanging between them like a fragile thread. Y/N's words lingered, a poignant acknowledgment of the attempts to bridge the gap that had grown over the years. The business connections may have brought them together, but the weight of unresolved emotions hovered in the air, leaving them standing at the crossroads of what once was and what could never be again.

Beomgyu listened to Y/N's words, a knot forming in his stomach as the weight of their shared history became palpable. When Y/N finally paused, he took a moment before responding, his voice carrying a mix of regret and sincerity.

"I know," Beomgyu admitted, the weight of unspoken apologies echoing in his words. "I've been avoiding things, and I'm sorry for that. Life got complicated, and I let it push us apart."

Y/N met his gaze, a flicker of understanding mingling with the frustration. "I've tried reaching out, but it felt like you'd built walls. I didn't know where to find you anymore."

Beomgyu sighed, a heavy exhale of acknowledgment. "I messed up, and I should've been more open. It's just… things changed, and I didn't handle it well."

The air between them held a tense quiet, the unspoken words lingering in the space. Beomgyu gathered the courage to speak again. "Maybe we can't undo the past, but I want to try to make things right now. I want to be a better friend, Y/N."

As the weight of their shared history hung in the air, the conversation unfolded, carrying with it the potential for understanding, forgiveness, and the possibility of rebuilding a connection that had once been an integral part of their lives.

Beomgyu, sensing Y/N's reluctance, took a breath before speaking, determined to convey the sincerity behind his words.

"You don't know me like you used to," he acknowledged, recognizing the layers of time that had altered the familiarity they once shared. "You can leave, but I refuse to."

He saw the skepticism in Y/N's eyes, a lingering doubt that hung between them. Beomgyu continued, his voice steady, "You can tell me that I'm crazy, but I won't stop."

He could sense the hesitancy, the wariness in Y/N's posture. "And this won't make me," he added, the unspoken commitment to rekindle the connection they once had. "I know things have changed, and I can't erase the past, but I'm willing to try. We can navigate this together, Y/N, and maybe find a way back to what we once had."

The sincerity in Beomgyu's words hung in the air, a plea for a second chance, a chance to rebuild and redefine the connection that had slipped away over the years. The ball was in Y/N's court, and Beomgyu awaited their response with a mix of hope and determination.

[hneedlz]

COMFORT !

Eric draven comforts the reader over a death of a loved one

Warnings; mentions of death, eric talks abt shelly alot, I dont think this is sad.

A/n: very long. It mostly is talking about Eric's view because he's a sad goth.. it also talks abt him wanting 2 help other people.. um.. 3rd p.o.v

-

Eric Draven was walking down a dreary alleyway when he heard a girl sobbing. Intrigued, he followed the sound until he found a young woman weeping on the ground.

"Are you okay, Miss?" asked Eric as he gently knelt beside her.

The girl looked up at Eric with tear-stained eyes. "No, my boyfriend just died last night," she said weakly.

Eric's heart broke for the girl as he took her hand. "I'm so sorry for your loss," he said gently. "Death is a difficult journey, and it's especially hard when it's someone you love."

The girl nodded, her grief too overwhelming for words.

Eric sighed. "I know that nothing I say or do can make your pain go away," he said earnestly, "but what I can do is offer you comfort. Sometimes, all we need is someone to be there for us, to remind us that we're not alone."

The girl looked into Eric's kind eyes and something in her shifted. For the first time since her boyfriend's death, she felt a glimmer of hope.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Eric nodded and held the girl close. "It'll take time, but I promise you that things will get better. The pain will recede, the memories will become less painful... and you'll find a way to move on."

For a few moments, they were just two lost souls clinging to each other in the midst of their pain. But as the girl stood up and began to walk away, Eric knew that he had done something important.

It was a small thing, really-just a bit of comfort- but sometimes that's all it takes to make a difference. And sometimes, that's all that we can do.

As the girl walked away, Eric couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness for her. He knew all too well what it was like to lose someone you loved. The pain of it never really went away, but he had found a way to channel it into something positive- something that would bring justice to those who had been wronged.

He stood there for a few moments, lost in thought, replaying memories of his own lost love, Shelly.

Suddenly, the girl turned around and walked back towards him. "I don't even know your name," she said softly.

Eric offered her a small smile. "It's Eric. Eric Draven."

The girl extended her hand and Eric took it in his own. "Thank you, Eric. Thank you for being there, for sharing your kindness with me. Even if it was just for a few minutes."

Eric nodded. "Remember- you're not alone. There's always someone out there who cares."

The girl nodded and walked away, her heart a little lighter than before. Eric watched her until she was out of sight, then turned and disappeared into the shadows.

He knew that he couldn't bring the girl's boyfriend back, but maybe he had given her something that was just as valuable- hope.

As he walked into the night, Eric felt a sense of clarity that he hadn't felt in a long time. For the first time since Shelly's death, he felt like he was serving a purpose- that he was doing something good with the pain he carried.

And in that moment, Eric Draven knew that no matter how much pain he felt, he wouldn't let it consume him. He would use it to make a difference- to bring justice to the world- or at least to bring comfort to those who needed it most.

The memory of the girl's tear-stained face stayed with Eric as he walked the darkened streets, the weight of his own sorrow a little more bearable knowing that he had brought some measure of comfort to someone else.

As he walked, he heard the sound of a woman screaming in the distance. Without thinking twice, he ran towards the sound until he came upon a group of thugs attacking a woman.

Eric's fists clenched at the sight, and without a second thought, he jumped into action, taking out the thugs one by one with his superior fighting skills.

As he helped the woman to her feet, he saw the look of gratitude in her eyes and knew that he had made a difference once again.

It might not have been enough to erase the pain of Shelly's death, but it was something- and sometimes, that's all that mattered.

As Eric walked away from the scene, he knew that he would continue to do whatever he could to make the world a better place, even if it was just one small act of kindness at a time.

And maybe, just maybe, in doing so, he would find some measure of peace for himself as well.

The night air was cool and crisp, a welcome relief from the heat of Eric's anger and grief. He walked along the streets, feeling a sense of purpose in every step. It was as if his body had been re-energized by something greater than himself- something beyond the physical realm he now existed within.

As he walked, he thought about everything he had experienced in his short time back in the land of the living. He thought about Shelly- her beautiful smile, the soft touch of her skin, and the weight of her absence in his life. He thought about the girl he had helped, wondering if she would be okay, if she would ever find someone to love again.

Eric knew that he could not bring Shelly back to life, nor could he solve all of the problems of the living world. But he could do something- he could take action in his own way, one small act of kindness at a time.

With each step, Eric felt his own sense of grief begin to lift, as if he was shedding layers of his former self with every passing moment. He felt renewed and ready to face whatever the world had in store for him.

As he walked, Eric realized that he was not alone in his journey. There were others out there who shared his pain, who had lost loved ones and were struggling to move on. And maybe, just maybe, by helping them, he could start to heal his own wounds as well.

With a sense of determination, Eric turned down the next street, ready to face whatever lay ahead with a new-found strength. No matter how dark the night may be, he would always be a shining light of hope for those who needed it most.As Eric continued to walk, he began to notice small acts of kindness around him. A stranger helped an elderly woman cross the street, a young boy offered his seat on the bus to a pregnant woman, and a group of volunteers cleaned up a local park.

These small acts of kindness gave Eric hope. They showed him that despite all the pain and suffering in the world, there was still good. There were still people who cared enough to make a difference, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant their actions might appear.

As he walked, Eric began to feel a sense of purpose. He knew that he couldn't bring Shelly back, but he could help others in her memory. He could be the light in the darkness, the hope in the despair, and the love in the hate.

With each step, Eric felt his own grief fading away. He was no longer walking for himself, but for others. He was no longer lost in his own pain, but focused on helping those around him.

The night air grew colder, but Eric felt warm inside. He knew that, in his own small way, he was making a difference. And that was enough.

As the night came to an end and the sun began to rise, Eric felt a sense of peace. He still missed Shelly, but he knew that she would be proud of him. Proud of the man he had become. Proud of the kindness he had shown to others.

And so, with a smile on his face, Eric continued to walk, ready to face whatever challenges the day may bring. He knew that he wasn't alone, and that together, with kindness and compassion, anything was possible.

[sharky-the-idiot]

EVERY LILARKY SHIP IN A NUTSHELL UNDER THE LENS OF ANON FANON:

Lilarky (Lilac x Sharky)- i love you more than words can say. you are my best friend and my fondest love, and i don't know what id do without you. you come second to nothing. i would die for you. (the shippers would die for you too). the heart of the fandom, everyone's favourite lovebirds. prime angsty au material

Popale (Poppy x Whale)- i hate the world and i hate my distorted reflection and i'd do anything to be rid of the weight of what i am not, and what i never will be. you are everything they're not and everything i adore, and we will be wed within the hour over a volcano while they scream

Toxic Flowers (Lilac x Poppy)- i hate you. now kiss me you bitch. *starts aggressively making out*

WhaleShark (Whale x Sharky)- and then they fucked even though neither of them want to fuck and actually they were in love the WHOLE time and-

Shanky (Sharky x Ink)- i've known you for years and i will know you until the end of our time. i am damaged and you are damaged but when we're together everything seems better. late night talks and friendly teasing, living for the other's affection and hyping each other up at all times

Ink-Stained Weeds (Ink x Craig)- the only correct ink ship. the only craig ship. they are silly and supportive and argue over cereal. the bickering husbands of all time

Jilac (J x Lilac)- these people are all idiots and it's up to us to stop 'em. hold my hand, we got this. (sorry everyone they are have a PLATONIC SISTERLY BOND in my heart)

Sunlilac (Ink x Lilac)- i'm here. i'm listening and i always will and i may not understand everything but i will support you for as long as it takes for you to love yourself as much as i love you. thank you for being my light

Mothbitten Suits (Moth x Lilac- look i love mothbitten lilacs but they both like suits and i thought it sounded fun)- will compliment and gush over each other until the end of time. flustered messes, brilliant smiles, lazy days and exchanging art. warmth.

Tatobee (Weltato x Red)- Mentor figures. they're older than everyone else and look out for the same weirdo teenager (affectionate) and write so beautifully that it makes people cry. talented, responsible, able to break hearts like its nothing

Carky Shutt (Captain Gutt x Sharky)- a pirate who's never found the treasure he so craves and a boy who doesn't feel special. protection and surprise encounters and a budding affection neither can deny. sneaking onto ships, trying to reform him. challenging him to a swordfight, asking him to join his crew. danger and excitement. what the other sees around the sirens. love so strong that it's gutting, that it hurts and kills and plunders and survives all the same. unpiecing your identity and having someone who'll listen and accept you. its okay to show weakness here. im not going to leave you. i promise.

Ocean Hugs (Olaf x Sharky)- i can't touch you and yet i want to, i crave your warmth and your love even if it kills me. you cover your pain with a smile but i see you and i understand. you dont have to hide around me

Sharning Spiky (Sharky x Burning Spice)- someone who's lost everything, and someone who wants to know more. a lack of judgement, a strange intrigue that neither can explain. a budding crush into something more, something fiery and destructive and passionate. can and will spoil each other to bits

Sugar Lover (Lilac x Eternal Sugar)- sapphics!! guiltily getting flustered, soft gasps you can't hide at the beauty of a god. you're nervous but not because you're scared, you want her to like you even as you know the consequences are damning. power imbalance and absolute awe. you've always enjoyed indulging, what's one more kiss?

Sharkverdrive (Sharky x 2-0-4 tack shooter)- are we all gonna ignore this? yes. yes we are

Sharky x Hollyberry- another one for the pile. doesn't have a ship name and probably doesn't need one. a gal who knows how to lighten up and party, a boy who's not used to getting out much. learning how to relax and have fun again. having someone to defend

Sharkzwalder (Sharky x Schwarzwalder)- t4t cuties who will shower each other in affection <3

Sharhim (Sharky x Yharim)- idk enough about this guy to sat anything. big menacing powerful figure & just a little guy. it would be hilarious

Jasky (Sharky x Jasper)- they keep their relationship quiet. it's all in "i love you texts", private moments and intimate looks no-one else understands. companionship, familiarity

Ink x ...any cookie- ink's into dilfs and pirates lmao. they should kiss

Ink x Twisted Alice Angel- nobody seems willing to acknowledge this one??? whenever it's brought up it's swept under the rug. sorry ink's wife, youre irrelevant in comparision to the Great CraigInk Debate of 2024

Sharkzarella (Sharky x Mozzarella)- they melt around each other. sooo many hugs. physical affection all the way. lilac is jealous :)

Ink x the Entire Bendy Cast- that is so many characters holy shit. he is just too lovable. this is what happens when you put a guy named ink into a game with ink in the title ig

Autumn Showers (Whale x Star x Lilac x Craig)- time travel buddies! they have seen horrors beyond comprehension. they have witnessed death and loss and a future they could not save. joined warmth, joined failure, joined happiness, joined hope. working together for the timeline that never was. relying on each other to fix reality. the family you never used to need

Oceans of Purple Ink (Sharky x Lilac x Ink)- why put Sharky with ONE of his love interests when you can have two?? everyone is happy! sharky is the silly one, lilac is the one who looks after them both, ink is the one who gets hugged 24/7. happy healthy loving relationship. then the angst fics drop.

Murder Smarties (Lilac x Whale)- will stab each other. scarily intelligent and scarily protective. bristling and insulting and sharp smiles full of loathing. will call each other mocking nicknames during confrontations. not at all healthy but pretty fun to think about

Poppy x Sharky- you are everything i despise about the one i love. you are not them and you never will be them and yet i see them in you. i hate you. i don't want you. you're all that's left

Jacman (J x Pacman)- toxic exes. they're on BAD terms but pacman wants to get back together. he keeps bringing her tiny orbs to eat no matter how many times she says they aren't even edible for her. the ghosts keep trying to get him to stop, he is not listening one bit

ShaShrek (Sharky x Shrek)- we had to involve shrek somehow laddies

i think that's all of them?? there's probably more though ngl. why are you so shippable

This was all so interesting and cute until fucking carky shutt showed up

[chaifootsteps]

Hey, i dont know if you remember me but im the anon that sent you and ask about how i had a final work for my literature class being about creating a ring in hell inspired by the Divine Comedy, so if you are interested this is what i made:

First, we had to create a new sin that wasnt mentioned on the original text and then design the ring around it and a punishment , so i choose egocentrism.

I really liked the idea that Vivziepop had for a circus in hell, so i kinda of stole it, but i dont feel bad for that because that lady already stole a lot of things from other people 🤭.

I used my idea for a rewrite of "vivziepop's take on hell" where the circus asspect actually matters (instead of being only used for aesthetics) and the sinners are the ones being punished and tortured by being forced on torture acts, in this case, humiliating acts that destroy their pride and ego.

I made an example by showing some guy who in life was a really strong warrior, and that made him belive he was better than anybody else and would constantly tell other people they should admire him and that they would never be as strong as him.

In hell, he now lost all his muscles, being really thin. And he would have to perform the act of weight lifting, since being strong is what made him so egocentrical on life.

But the things he had to lift were things that normally are really light, like pillows and feathers. But they would be insanely heavy on the dude, making him feel like he was the weakest and it would always ends with the guy droping on the floor, crying and tired. Then he would be forced to repeat everything again.

And like that, every sinner would have its own circus act that was designed to degrade them and attack the thing that made them so prideful on life.

And the ones who perfomed these acts and tortured the sould were a new species of demons a came out with called the "cirquimps" (i couldnt came out with a better name sorry lol). I even made a drawing on how the look:

They are short, with big black eyes that look souless, having 3 arms (2 are "normal", and one is long and formed like a whip), and they all wear clothes that resemble clowns and circus artists.

Then i made the story of Dante seeing this ring.

So, in my country, the systems of notes is from 1 to 12; 1 being the lowest obviously, 6 being aceptable, and 12 being the best of all.

In this job, the teacher gave me a 11! She said it would have been a 12 if it wasnt because i forgot to make the story from Dante's perspective, but she loved it!

And thats the story of how my ideas of rewrites for Vivziepop's hell gave me a great grade for my final proyect, thank you Viv for creating such a bad take on hell that helped my form better ideas!

Well, there you go! Congrats on your 11, Anon, it sounds well deserved!

[blood-injections]

ooh tell me about amputee Ghoul whump (I was considering doing an amputee Kobra fic actually but I'm not sure how to write that so I'd be interested to hear your thoughts)

It's just a one shot about him having a prosthetic leg and having to accept help when soreness he's been ignoring all day catches up to him during a firefight and he can't walk back to the trans am and he's fucking frustrated because he feels like a liability, a cripple, and the others have to keep putting in his head that jeez no, just because you need help or mobility aids doesn't mean you're a liability to us >:(

Basically it's yet another fic in which I project on fun ghoul and put him in Situations, specifically ones I've been in lmao cause I'm an amputee myself. Anyway so ask me anytime if you're unsure how to write Kobra or any other character, it depends on the amputation, like I have a prosthetic leg so thats what I gave Ghoul, and I'm not really sure what specific things someone with say a missing arm would go through, but if they have a prosthetic, I'd imagine a lot of the same chronic pain and soreness, because your skin tends to get irritated easily in a socket, and if you sweat in it especially, the stump or wherever it rubs against you gets really raw really easily, rashes or blisters, hot spots, and when its like that it fucking hurts, I've had it bad a couple times and could hardly put any weight on my leg because every step just feels like you're getting stabbed or like a shock is shooting up your leg though your bones. And yikes, for a killjoy i can only imagine, living in the desert and being on your feet all day and sweating in that heat would be hell. It also depends like what kind of prosthetic, like if it's an actual one with a socket, they'd deal with that, but its danger days so what if they had a cybernetic one without a socket? They wouldn't have those hot spots but I imagine they'd be crazy sore wherever skin and metal connects, idk why but something tells me it'd be crazy itchy? Like, just past where it cybernetic part starts, a scratch you can never itch. And they could have phantom limb pain too if the character has lost the limb and didn't always have it like that. i dont know what thats like because i was born with my disability, but I'd imagine it's like dysphoria if anything, something aching thats not there, and then also wanting something or in this case, wanting something back so bad its agony, because if they lost their limb I'm sure they'd grieve it bad for a bit, maybe even forever, I know a lot of people that lose limbs struggle to accept that yeah, you're disabled now.

There's so may other things I could go into like parts breaking and how difficult it'd probably be to fix or replace them in the zones and mobility aid specifics and ohh the dehabilitating back pain you have if your prosthetic leg isnt the perfect length and your hips arent level, etc etc, if you do write the amputee kobra fic and need anything else im your guy :)

[sumnantics]

After attending Once Upon an Elemntary together, and surviving Highs And Lows School (which everyone really just shortens to Middle School), they spent freshman year of highschool in different schools. Maisie went to Ever After High, and Neijiderick attended Beanstalk High, wanting to practice flying in the clouds. ...Not being a giant, he was ostracized and transferred to Ever After.

In the first year of her life that Maisie had not been locked at the hip with Neiji, she made close friends that werent him. ...And she realized that she wasnt feeling *best friendship* for Neiji, she was feeling *a crush.*

In the summer before Sophomore year started, Maisie confessed to Neiji.

It destroyed their friendship. He rejected her with GREAT vehemence. When they started school again, he completely ignored her in the halls. It was easy to avoid her-- being a villain, he had a completely different schedule than her, and being a Royal, he had completely different friends.

Maisie is an extremely perceptive girl. She may not be remarkable enough to make lasting impressions, but shes happy fading into the background. She does well in classes, but shes never perfect enough to shine. Graceful, elegant, scholarly, she doesnt need to try in her princess classes. Shes happy for that for the same reason-- she can people watch.

She's always been very mature. Perhaps its because she had to grow up too fast, shouldering her mother's emotional weight. This whole argument between royals and rebels all seems very silly to her-- The dramatics, that is. Because the moment she heard other students were planning to change their destiny, she wanted in.

She's never too worried abt Neiji. She *knows* him. She knows him better than he knows himself, shes perceptive and hes been all shes looked at for years. Shed answer his questions before he asked, shed figure out why hes upset before he even had a chance to feel it. She knows he needs time-- and she knows that, eventually, theyll both be in that tower. Alone. for years. And she figures theyll talk it out then.

As much as she retains her composure in most situations, theres one thing shes sensitive about-- her nobility.

Her *Destiny* is being a PRINCESS in a tower. But, generations ago, her family lost their nobility-- they had to sell it, their family too poor, and needing food more than a title. And since her story calls for a *Dragonslayer*, not a *Prince*, her family has never had a chance to regain their title.

A classmate, in an argument during class about who's on what side: Maisie's a Royal, *obviously.*

Maisie: Actually, I'm a Rebel.

Classmate: What? But... youre a princess?

Maisie: I'm a *Maiden*.

Classmate: Well, but you've got a Prince Charming?

Maisie: No. My story has a Dragonslayer.

(She corrects this constantly. everyone thinks shes a princess, and its the one assumption she will never not correct)

Neijiderick had felt growing resentment towards Maisie through all of Middle School. She was better and better at reading him-- and she was a middle schooler, who wanted to show off, and didnt have too much social awareness yet. She doesnt remember doing this, or at least how often, but she would constantly tell him what he was feeling-- "He just ignored you! Even though you waved. You must be angry, and hurt. I think he's going to his friends. I dont think he saw you, Neiji." Which seems benign enough of a thing to say, except she did it Constantly. he wouldnt be able to FEEL THINGS, and certainly he couldnt figure out his own feelings on his own. he felt exposed. He used to be able to take pleasure in sniping back at her when she got something wrong, but that only ever made her better at it.

He chose a different high school than her to get away from it all. That... didnt work out. The giants were cruel, and the teachers didnt notice-- or, they pretended not to. It made him spitting mad!!! But, he didnt know how to handle that anger, because he had always had Maisie-- either she'd help, or she'd try to help and then he'd redirect that anger at her for reading him too easily.

(He knows something about her that she doesnt. He knows shes not *that* good at reading him. Cuz she never read the growing resentment towards her correctly.)

When she confessed-- he ran. he ran immediately, squashed any reaction, left before she could read him-- he needed to figure this out *himself*.

And he did! And hes FUCKING PISSED. She's been hurting him all this time-- but, well, he never told her she was hurting him. She shouldve figured it out! But, well, he's GLAD he can keep SOME secrets. She KNOWS what his destiny is!

And there it is, he thinks. destiny. Hes never once considered that shed like anyone before her Dragonslayer. He thought he'd die before she loved someone. Maybe that was stupid? Plenty of people date in highschool, before signing the book of legend.

But why *him?* She knows more than anyone that he *cant return her affection.* He's got a time limit! And, even then-- He's going to be a DRAGON. dragons dont *kiss princesses.*

Thats right. Dragons dont kiss princesses. Dragons are ruthless, and mean, and *fucking cool*. And HES a dragon. (Wyvern, actually, but semantics.) He's going to sign the book of legends, and then after graduation like all the other magical beast characters, he's going to wake up the next day permanently in beast form.

So he ignores Maisie. Like a proper villain, and to avoid her seeing through him, and because-- look. he doesnt like her back. And, being her friend now would be *weird*. Knowing that every time they joke, every time they hang out, she'd be thinking of.... *romance.*

He changes his nickname. Avoids anything the reminds him of Maisie, actually-- she calls him Neiji,

So he goes by Ricky now. Ricky Fang. And he aces his classes, and he learns cool things like firebreath and attacking knights, and how to hold a Maiden in his claws-- a *princess*, he means, how to hold a *princess* in his claws to fly away with her.

and in his Villain classes, he meets--

Ramona Badwolf. Transferred to the school halfway through the school year. Immediately began gathering extra credit in her classes to make up for missing it, and almost as quickly made herself *known.* She was proud, and she was sly, and she was confident. She had an unwavering strength in herself-- she growled *scram*, and the halls cleared. And she was *incredibly pretty.*

Ricky was very interested in her. And he was even more interested when *she was interested in him*.

Turns out they have a lot in common-- theyre both gonna turn into magical beasts, theyre both going to have to dodge hunters, and they both know that being a msgical beast is going to be so fucking cool that it will all be worth it. Ramona asks him out, and he almost thinks he says yes too fast.

Ramona changes him, but really not by much. He was already punk, she just taught him how to show it. He cut his jacket into a vest, he collected all the shiny baubles he didnt before.

He has cultivated a very specific persona at Ever After High-- he's aloof, and distant, and hes quiet. He HATES the idea of someone being able to read him. And its hard to do, but he painstakingly makes certain he keeps those walls up around Ramona.

They date for a year, and it ends in flames. Literally. Their breakup is known throughout the school because they MADE IT KNOWN. They consistently make it known every time they see each other in the halls.

Ramona had gotten sick and tired of the mysterious facade. Sick of the distance. in their first Big Fight, she told him "I KNOW YOU, Ricky!" She didnt know that it would immediately terrify him, that hed get so defensive.

Ultimately, she knew the problem was this: He didnt see them as "serious" enough to trust her with his secrets.

He knew the problem, too! She seemed to think they were gonna stay together after graduation. can you imagine a WOLF and a DRAGON kissing? obviously not.

really, he was scared. Why else do people hide? if you cant see this part of me, ill never have to see you reject it. and really, she was scared too. She was scared he was hiding from her because he didnt ever actually like her, that she had been vulnerable in front of someone who was laughing at her the whole time.

[kald-dal-write]

that's a good point actually with katniss not knowing Victor's names.

tho i do need to reread that part. i felt it more like katniss doesn't care about them much. she know their names, at least now i scroll through pages and every time some victor show up she names them. when its someone important like wiress and beetee she names them and sometimes tell how they won, but with d6 she just call them morphling guys. in the movies she makes a note that she doesn't know female morphling name, but I can't find that in the book (it isn't in death or anthem scenes). maybe it somewhere later? anyway katniss and peeta rewatched the games of every potential tribute who was alive at the moment, so katniss probably knew them by the time of second book? i will wait for you reread or find it later by myself (i reread tbosas now actually) (well, relisten, thanks yt for free audiobooks)

tho its actually not really affect my point as you dont really need to remember victors name to notice how mentorship works in general. like we don't always remember every Eurovision winner but we still know the process if we watch it every year.

Katniss is also have a weight of responsibilities and in second book she more concerned about saving her family's life... So i can see how she can miss some details. And also from writers point i think Susan Collins doesn't want to infodump on us so that's why katniss just forget shit or sometimes just doesn't know... and in second book there is already enough repeating of the first with game process so some things and described very briefly. again in the first book she think about viewers and gamemakers everytime, and in second she more like SAVE PEETA SAVE PEETA.

i starting to losing the core of our discussion /not negative im just lost in thoughts like.. where are we going.... who are we....

anyway thanks for this conversation!! It gave me a lot of brain worms /pos

as an apology i try to send you soon another anonymous ask where i try to analyse who would win the 1qq in your fic. i kinda struggle with keeping my thoughts straight so it takes a lot of time.

sincerely, your crazy little brainrotting anon

What I meant that she doesn’t seem to know their names before the Third Quell, not that she doesn’t know anyone’s names at all (which tbf she doesn’t know the names for the D5, D6, D9 or D10 Victors), she only bother to learn the names of the Victors she directly interact with. Which is mostly because she has different prioritisies that mostly includes keeping Peeta safe.

Also with rewatching the games I think Peeta paid more attention to them than she did, she does aknowledge that she recognised Lyme from the tapes when she meets her in MJ though.

It’s only a movie line that Peeta aknowledges that he doesn’t know the morphling’s name “She [F.Morphling] sacrificied her life for me and I don’t even know her name”

Fair with the Eurovision comparison though, you do get a sense of how things work after watching it for years, but still you wouldn’t know everything that goes on behind the scenes of the competition if you are just a casual watcher (especially with this year’s ESC 😭)

but as mentioned the OG post was just that I think people thinking it’s a set in stone rule every male Victor have to mentor a male tribute and every Female Victor have to mentor a female tribute doesn’t seem to be fully a thing with Mags being Finnick’s mentor with her being both a Woman and D4 have had way more Victors after her as they are a Career District known for being good.

As mentioned maybe I get more insight when I finally get to Catching Fire lol

Fun to discuss stuff like this haha

[redheadbigshoes]

🌻 here, why is that one anon commenting on an anon'd ask that doesn't even say what people or posts its talking about lol

Yeah it's messed up no matter what to fetishize black folk, do we even see the post? know who is being talked about? have any evidence of anything at all? they seem pretty eager to jump on a trans woman mentioned tangentially through an anon ask...

Anyway I wanted to weigh in on the gender segregated sports with adding that we hear so often from conservatives that big strong scary trans women will win all the womens sports but people don't know I guess that hormone therapy for transfems literally atrophies our muscles lol.

I used to play american football in jr high and high school and I worked out regularly in college and I've lost pretty much all of that strength over the last 5-6 years of taking t-blockers and estrogen. I lose arm wrestling matches with my butch lesbian cousin lol. Trans women on hormones have absolutely no difference to our body capabilities than a cis women. Which doesn't mean they'd be weaker than any given man or anything, given that anybody can still work out enough to build strength to compete in a sport, but my point is we hear about trans women having 'biological' advantages in sports so much cis people forget what the reality is for trans women who compete.

I honestly think it is sexist to segregate sports by gender, given that women can absolutely beat men in anything in the world, I know a cis women that is 2 feet taller than me who could be a basketball star over any man if she wanted to, but that brings up the fact that sports aren't totally fair even within gender segregation, since sports inherently favor people with specific body types. So if you wanted to be truly egalitarian you would segregate sports by weight classes, or something like that.

But you are right that in any co-ed sports in our current society there will always be misogyny, its the reason why we have a seperate chess league is because one of the sports with no body favoritism which anyone can pick up and learn and practice and plenty of women become amazing at chess, they are still systemically repressed from being able to compete and practice like their men peers do. They face increased scrutiny and barriers that men dont, which is why trans women competing in women's sports is important for us in this current setting. Women can compete in any sport that men can, but misogyny is prevalent in every sports space, as well as transmisogyny, so a trans woman barred from women's leagues has basically no fair and safe space to compete and enjoy a sport.

-🌻

It’s complicated whenever minorities are involved because the other anon (the one who made that comment about the first anon’s ask) didn’t have the context about the situation nor the specific post the person was talking about, so it really seems that they got defensive about it because it’s probably a sensitive topic for them.

Meanwhile, like you said, they were eager to jump on a trans woman without even knowing exactly what they were talking about.

About the gender segregation: people don’t even take 2 seconds to look up how there’s a general rule that trans women who compete in the women category (when it comes to sports) need to be on hormone blocks (idk if that’s the right term) for at least a year before competing from what I know.

Yeah like I said on the reblog: what’s most stopping from segregating everything into gender categories (not only sports) is misogyny. I think if we want to stop dividing things into gender categories the first thing to do is to think how it will be able to do that without women being negatively affected.

[glorified-red]

oooo a 5k? Are you a student athlete?is that how you got a full ride?

Yes, but no, but yes, but no.

I've been an althete for my entire school career up until my senior year of highschool, so I guess? Student Athlete?

For a year or so I was a gymnast. (My sister and I did it together, she stayed her entire life, I did not, obviously)

Then for a few years I played T-Ball (recently found out via my mom that I made the front page of the city newspaper because I hit the ball and then felt really bad so I went to go pick it up instead of like....playing the game).

Then I played soccer for, so many years, I couldn't tell you how many, I lost count. (I was offense most of the time, rip my ankles)

I almost did volleyball but chickened out last minute (wouldve been a setter or libero).

Then, being the band kid I was, I joined marching band my freshman year. (ah seven years of playing an instrument leads to this)

Got bored of that so I switched to colorguard for two years which was soooo much more athletically demanding my GAWD. (two years of ✨trauma✨ but I might buy a sabre soon, idk, feeling kinda silly)

And Senior year I did nothing and got a job to fill the void of having way too much freetime for me to know what to do with. How do you guys not do sports? What do you do with all the free time???

So yes, I was a "student athlete," kinda sorta, not really, but sure. If I kept playing I probably could've gotten a music scholarship but I haven't touched that instrument in almost 3 years. Same with maybe a marching band scholarship? Idk if my college does that tbh.

But how I actually got my scholarships? Tests and Parents pfft.

5.2 + 3.98 GPA (dont ask why its not a 4.0, I will literally start crying, went my ENTIRE LIFE with a 4.0 only for the lAsT sEmEsTer of SENIOR YEAR---full disrespect: fuck college Spanish), straight A's MINUS ONE CLASS (if I could fist fight college spanish I so would).

I was a dual enrollment kid so I was half a highschool student and half a college student, shot my GPA through the roof and got me to graduate with my AA the same year I graduated highschool. I was the Jason Todd, loved school, was great at school, never struggled, never studied, etc etc.

SAT scores and ACT scores got me a 75% scholarship to any college I wanted to go to in the area (I was only a few points away from 100% but I was too lazy to try again lmao). Then I got another scholarship for being a military brat. Then I got another one for having parents with post-military issues where I basically get paid to go to school. All of that just combines to a full ride, plus any extra money from the scholarships goes to me which is more than I need so it's in my savings acct.

First two years of college were completely free because I was in the dual enrollment program (free college woo), next three years are free because of multiple scholarships, I just say full ride cuz it's quicker to say and gets the point across.

As for the 5ks: My mom and I like to do them together and do at least one a month. This month we're doing an obstacle 5k where you physically cannot complete it without a buddy or a group. Army crawling under electricity, balancing on things by countering each others weight, ninja warrior wall where your team is at the top to catch you, etc etc.

My family (found moreso than blood) is going as Justice League members because there were too many of us to be the Power Rangers. We're doing another one of these in Dec. and then the 10k version of it next year and then hopefully the 15k version. I know my mom and I want to eventually do a marathon.

My main goal is to complete a triathalon. I've ALWAYS wanted to do one so we're gonna try to do it sometime late next year. Starting with the shorter triathalons and slowly working our way up to the more average/long ones.

Now don't get it twisted, I'm not like, a runner or workout junky. Quite literally the opposite. My mom is a runner and its her therapy. Mine? Meeting new people, getting some sun, getting the body moving, and maybe getting some nice scenary. I do run parts of the races, but for the most part I like a nice brisk walk since its healthier for my body than running (yay chronic pain and stupid ovaries!)

I hate the stereotype that you have to run the whole thing or be super fit to do marathons and races. No?? Anyone who wants to can. The point for me isn't to win or to place, its just to finish and have fun. Do I enjoy having a good time? Hell yea, I beat my time by 10 minutes last solo 5k I did. But I'm also the first person who will happily sacrifice a good time so I can enjoy meeting other racers and walking with them.

The last 5k I did was a forest one (it fucking sucked) where the terrain was sand and there were soooo many branches and hills. I watched a racer sprain their ankle right in front of me so we ended up walking the rest together and I carried them for some bits. So my time was terrible, but hey, I got to meet someone I never would've if I didn't stop---and that's more valuable to me.

[hauntedmoon519]

faustian biopic

*clicks*

"so this is the last kind of take before we

wrap this up do you have anything you'd like to say

about your life?"

i want you to know

before you realize the

soot stained half truths you croon

i cant feel

any of this

and yet you, you

feel it all while i

feel what i am

null.

"hm. i gotta think you know i always

thought that id, id, id know what to, to say in interviews but

i really dont know"

you forgot and yet

i am used to dosing everyone

with subconscious amnesia as

i make them crave to sleep

perchance to dream

no more about me

this poison must be

culled so

kiss her with your salted

serenades and swallow

the drafts you forget

"please go ahead, take your time"

"im an addict. i mean

its not news. -i -i come from a

-a family of um addicts. i went to rehab when i was

in high school and it was strange, you know. no, no one really takes

you seriously but i was an adult as a kid, -i i had to be the

anchor you know? that dead weight that kept everyone alive"

there'll be times when my crimes

will almost seem unforgivable

i give into sin

the poison had leeched into

the water too early too little too

late and yet

i am ill

poisoned be

one word proverbs

they are simple and strong they

do not encircle manies they

multiply and encapsulate them

for i am but a storm

the phone crackles with

warm pulses

how does it fit?

like its not mine

it should fit you

carry that for a reason

"so tell us about your first film

you wrote and directed it at 17

horror, based on what you described your

emptiness you said you hollowed yourself out

but this was always there?

monochrome monster, you called it"

part time superstar

go ahead and drink

ill hold your hair as you

kiss her as you admit the

fucking truth but why

should i care if you

dont?

"whoa thats a

a deep cut. its about me.

i know a lot of people think they've

solved it that they know what it is

truth is that its me. thats all you need to know"

The thorned crown of

Death sits atop the Crooked brow

how Heavy doth it sits Perchance to

cause sleep Nightmares upon which

Thine ankles perches the Fetters of

the Smith with his shattered limbs and

bitter Smile you ask Meself to which Upon

the devil Lies in chains wrapp'd Through

thoust wrists in Atonement so Sacrosanct

through the trials and Yet bastard I have

been given a name

the Monster in the dark

the witch of TheWwilds

cry out cry out my Sweet lark

fore with Fright you shant be Beguiled

seductive and Sultry the Leviathan

wandering amidst the underbrush

you are Scared of it upon your trials

ashes upon Ashes snow upon snow

i am the covenless

mother maiden and crone they

have birthed me in abandonment

down the road down the road

down the road we go

tell the devil and her curses

that i am not enough

atlas was just enough

"how does it feel knowing you

wont ever be enough to be interviewed

for real that these are just your

voices? they forget to ask and you do

not remind them so they

wash their hands of you"

i am a good soldier

and good soldiers follow

orders

attack dog shoot and kill

bleed them dry

you are a weapon

and our monster

nothing more

nothing less

you are a good soldier

the lost son.

cut.

*fade to black*