#part of the reason for that are my sensory issues. but also just that i’m generally not that good at social interaction

[the-artist-grimm]

Does your version of Baal have other reasons for having touch sensitivity? I’m asking since in my au I’m working on writing out, I ended up giving him sensory issues due to being autistic (Self projection of my own autistic struggles honestly), and I was wondering if you had something similar (After seeing this post https://www.tumblr.com/the-artist-grimm/766796236966805504/petpet-be-upon-they-petpetpetpet)

The twins' touch sensitivity is a mix of reasons! A large part of it is from the trauma of their deaths and ressurections-their bodies broke down into ash and they spent 4 months trapped in the gateway kinda just...drifting without physical forms, only to all at once be ripped free of Narinder's lingering chain which had kept them there and suddenly thrown into a mortal realm so bright, colorful, loud, hot, and cold for the first time. Think being set on fire or electricity over skin-it's a lot of sensations their bodies just are not used to at all, and Anthea, Narinder, and each other are the only one's they're used to/ok with.

But in general the twins were always sensitive to touch, but as comfortable with Narinder and then Anthea (who is VERY good at respecting boundaries-they always work off the twins' comfort terms), were to them, it was rare the two ever showed more major signs of discomfort beyond maybe Baal shivering if a head pat was too light cause I picture him having issues with pressure or Aym getting startled if the touch was unexpected and needing a warning first. The ressurection just dialed it up to 11 because now it's touch sensitivity in a new world where EVEYTHING is a lot. The Gateway was bright but quiet, the sand soft, and everything still-so big change.

It's also drawing from my own experience. I got ADHD (and may be autistic? my twin sure as heck is and of three siblings all of us born to my house are neurodivergent lol) and since I was a kid certain touches basically just feel AGH-if it was sudden without warning, if it was too light, if the pressure was this or the material was that, with most characters I work with they usually end up with neurodivergent traits since I give them pieces of myself.

(Which on that note my Narinder and lamb, Anthea, are also likely neurodivergent considering that just ends up happening with alllll my characters lol, Anthea's likely got ADHD and Narinder's most definitely autistic)

[fandom-fae]

i hate being alone at school so fucking much its lowley ridiculous

like

how am i the biggest loner in my grade and still hate nothing more than being alone. like what is this irony

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I didn’t go to a concert with my family?

I (19M) have been wanting to take a trip to Chicago by train, specifically to visit Shedd Aquarium and the museum of science and industry. It’s fallen through when I’ve tried to go with friends and I’m not in a position to go by myself, so my mom planned a trip for the family (mom, dad, and sister 20F) as a weekend in July.

Historically speaking, family vacations have not always gone well for me because I am the only member of my family who is an introvert with anxiety and sensory issues. Everyone else wants plan out trips with a packed schedule of social and high energy activities, many of which are very difficult for me to join or become more difficult when they happen on the same day.

The Chicago plan really excited me until I found out that one of the activities planned was an outdoor concert by a band I only like a few songs of. I have never been to a large scale crowded concert, but the idea stresses me out. To give a scale of how I react to live music, I used to break down from overstimulation when the band played at my parents’ church. I wish I could enjoy that experience, but it doesn’t seem likely.

I’d feel like an asshole for not going because the other members of my family have made an effort to include my most requested trip details (train, aquarium, museum) as a part of the family fun time, and the concert is just a thing they also want to do. Logically, it seems like a compromise between my needs and their needs. Not to mention I just recently ditched a plan to see a musical as a family that was meant to be a Mother’s Day gift/family experience. It would only add to my buzzkill burden on all activities.

Reasons I might not be TA: I have real anxiety about entering that situation because of the lights, sounds, crowds, and temperature and how those conditions will impact me (bad).

WIBTA ?

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

well hello there

here is aphmau in my au/rewrite

i tried to draw her in as many of her iconic outfits as possible but good irene she has a lot [click for better quality]

so here are some changes and headcanons i have for aph in my au:

•she’s neurodivergent. not entirely sure what specifically, probably adhd. for sure dyslexic.

•she has sensory issues, which is why she’s usually in shorts. she feels like she can’t move properly in a dress for pants.

•so in my au she is irene just like regular canon. i gave her her markings but you might notice they’re different; here’s why: so in my au, scars and tattoos can both be used as runes to conduct magicks. scar runes amplify one’s existing magicks while tattoo runes bestow a certain magicks ability to a person (even if they already have one to begin with). though this practice is outdated and illegal in most parts of the world. because irene’s abilities existed prior to her become a divine warrior, she scarred herself to not only enhance said abilities but to also show her true dedication. nowadays no one, except maybe zoey, actually knows what they are or what they’re for exactly.

sorry that was a lot… ANYWAY

•when irene locked herself away, she tried to dress in a way she thought might help her blend in in whatever time she popped back out.

•she was wrong.

•phoenix drop gets really hot, especially in the summer, and it doesn’t snow there. aphmau uses it as an excuse to wear shorts all the time.

•when she first showed up she wasn’t as clueless as they made her seem in rebirth. she was just as aware as she was in the og beginning (except no she didn’t think she was playing minecraft) her reason for helping out the village was basically this: “oh look a village, cool i needed a place to stay. oh man these guys are in rough shape, they don’t have a lord?!? ah geez no one’s helping them, guess i gotta help them. oh shit they made me lord!” ok maybe not EXACTLY like that but yk

•she’s not a pick me in this universe :) and she doesn’t lead people on.

•when garroth first noticed how hard she was working on the village without even being asked, he bought her some gloves so she’d stop tearing up her hands. he bought some basic fingerless leather gloves but payed extra to have them dyed black and embroidered with lil purpley pink flowers. he hopes she’d like them and that his gesture wouldn’t come off as clunky or weird. she loved them and keeps them with her even when they’ve gotten too worn to wear.

•laurmau is endgame. aph and aaron never have any kind of romantic relationship. he’s more of a mentor to her. (i’m sorry garmau lovers i love y’all but laurance is my guy)

ok

so that’s all folks, i’m sure i have more headcanons and changes for aphmau but none come to mind right now. feel free to leave suggestions tho :)

garroth is next >:)

[freezingmcxn]

Toby Buzzcut Situation

(I can’t believe I’m making this??)

I know people are having a good laugh with me about it and stuff and I love that, I’m laughing with you guys!

However, I’ve gotten comments that are livid over the fact I said Toby Rogers, the fictional character, specifically my version of him..would give himself a buzzcut every once in a while.

I’ve also gotten an ask that was..uh..worrying, I’m not going to reply to it and give them the benefit.

FOR THOSE WHO ARE GENUINELY MAD:

I’m writing them as characters with quirks and impulses, not just “hot” characters for the sake of bringing back nostalgia.

I’m portraying them as individuals with their own lives that I came up with, not the normalised ones in the fandom, so I understand Toby losing his hair is ….gonna make the world explode apparently-

The fact that Toby shaves his head is a deliberate character choice.

Sometimes, he shaves it because he doesn’t like how it looks—it reminds him of Lyra, and by cutting it off, he’s distancing himself from that memory. Hair is a huge part of identity, and it holds more meaning than people realise.

I try to weave deeper symbolism into my writing, and I understand that not everyone will pick up on it (nobody did from my post about the buzzcut). You can take it at face value, or you can choose to dig deeper it’s a personal thing.

Sometimes, it’s about sensory issues—he just doesn’t like the feel of it.

The main reason, though, is practical: his hair gets in his eyes, it’s hard to maintain, and when you’re a wanted criminal, changing your appearance is a way to stay under the radar.

So, let my characters be ..for the love of god if you don’t like them it’s alright you don’t have to interact.

This was so embarrassing to make, y’all literally ruined something funny that my followers were joking about with me 😭

[raetreaderarts]

It’s Bive time! I’m kidding of course, Bive time is all the time, it never ends.

If you want to hear my inane ramblings about her feel free to subject yourself to that for whatever reason btw.

Okay so Bive is a really interesting character to me, and thus I have a lot of interpretations on her character which are probably very unoriginal. The way I draw her is mostly based off of the vrchat avatar of her that I use because I just, I love how shaped she is, she’s such a silly. It’s also my body type, so she has some pudginess going on in my vision even if she is a sentient hairball (that’s also why I gave her a double chin). Actually on the topic, I’ve seen so much diverse fan art of her when it comes to body types and shapes which is always such a joy to see!

I don’t know what’s confirmed or not but I imagine that she has schizophrenia, which is something I hardly ever see represented in fiction, and in fact it’s a disorder I still see is made fun of to this day which is honestly heartbreaking to think about. So even if it isn’t canon, if people with schizophrenia can relate to her and feel seen through her, I find that to be a wonderful thing! I also headcanon her as having AuDHD, mostly due to her dialogue about sensory issues and needing to constantly move, and paired with the schizophrenia I imagine she has some type of generalized anxiety disorder.

This is probably just projection on my part but I also headcanon her as always wearing more modest attire, like the oversized trench coat and maybe turtleneck sweaters or large hoodies in more casual settings. Personally as someone with anxiety if I wear something too revealing or form-fitting I feel extremely uneasy and have to cover up as quickly as possible. But she also doesn’t wear pants as far as I know so idk how well that headcanon holds up. Also she bites when she gets affectionate. And idk how canon it is that Bive doesn’t shower as often as she probably should (executive dysfunction can kiss my ass) but I do think it checks out with what all I’ve said here already, but also because of that I imagine she’s very greasy most of the time.

That’s about it, if I have anything more to add then maybe I’ll reblog this post and add another ramble? Depends on how interested anyone is ig. Ok ramble over, sorry for wasting your time 👋

[yourlocalartsonist]

MONTHLY MFIP UPDATE✨✨

9/24 | Month 2 | Next Month | Month 1

Hey folks 🦐 I finally got the chance to make this month’s MFIP Update cuz god damn life was kicking my ass. College is fine for the most part tbh, just a lot of reading and writing cuz of the specific classes I chose. HOWEVER I have 💥FUCKING PMDD💥 so um skill issue on my part but it’s why I’ve been kinda exhausted as shit this week and was late with the update so my bad folks! (Also for more info on PMDD, click here! I don’t wanna spend this post yapping about it but wanted to leave a resource to spread awareness just in case :3). Also, Imma be tagging some of y'all who have been reading/supporting MFIP consistently just for this post, so yk you guys actually know these updates exist. I was gonna do that for the first ever update but as with many things, I forgor, so I'm doing it now! They’re supposed to come out on the 18th of every month, but yk sometimes life happens and I’m a lil late. It won’t be any earlier than the 18th tho so look out for these once it hits that date! Anywho, cheers to this month’s update!

Alrighty folks we be starting with the Art~!

Alrighty so obvious new thing, WE GOT RAPH’S REF SHEEEEEEEET TEEHEEEEEEE

BRO IM SO HYPE ABOUT IT! It turned out so genuinely amazing and I’m ridiculously proud of it! Especially cuz I honestly thought Raph was gonna be a harder design to figure out yk? I’m not used to drawing his body type, I wasn’t as familiar with his outfit, and even tho I’ve sketched him a few times before, I was just a bit nervous with Raph. Funfact, he’s also been the hardest to figure out how to write back when I was first starting MFIP. I genuinely don’t know why, but I got there eventually (I actually really love writing him now—) and same thing happened with his design!

Since MFIP’s taking place a few months after the Krang invasion, i’m able to take creative liberties and update the boys’ designs more! For some clarification btw, in my story’s lore, the invasion took place in September 2020, and MFIP starts on March 2021. Anywhizzle, my ideas for the boys’ designs is to combine their movie look with their show look, cuz while I do LOVE the black on them, it doesn’t feel right to me to not make them still unique in their own ways. These guys are all about authenticity, so why make their gear exactly the same, ya get me? I basically recolored his show gear to be black and red (and added a lil asymmetry on his legs) cuz I think it makes Raph feel older and more sure about himself, just feels right for him! I also just think the red fade on the black is hella cool! Fun lil color theory i think application, the black is more of a really dark, inky blue, so it makes the red pop out even more! I decided to make a bow out of his mask tails, too! I don’t wanna spoil the entire lore reasoning for it yet (it’ll pop up in the story), but I can indeed say it’s intentional that it looks a little like a lunamoth with damaged tails :3 I also took a BUNCH of creative liberties with his sais’ handles, since we haven’t really seen it much so like idk gaslight yourselves into thinking it’s always been this epic✨✨

Also I gave him his shorts back because FUCK YOU I LIKED THE RED TRIMMMM—

OH I ALMOST FORGOT yes he has longer eyelashes! I saw he grows to have really pretty eyelashes in the future cuz of his turtle species, and I wanted to lean into that by showing they’re starting to grow now :3

Bullshit Gag Because Yes‼️‼️

There ain’t shit to say about this, I just pulled a silly. I saw the fact Donnie was supposed to have a “Doctor Donatello” persona in the deleted episode where Dale turns into a werewolf. I’m really heavily on the train of Leo being the team medic and into medicine in general. I don’t think it makes sense for Donnie to be the medic judging by his sensory issues and this mf being as much of a germaphobe as my mom, and in my opinion it felt too stereotypical anyway to have Donnie be the medic. Ofc, to each their own, and this is just my interpretation of it, but I thought it’d be funny if Donnie still had this persona and was passionate about it, but was like horrifically bad at being a doctor. I made this dumbass sketch that I’ll finish sometime in the future (it’s gonna be a chapter in Arc 3 probably) and I just wanted to share it with yall~

THEY’RE HUMAN NOW⁉️

My ass wanted to show off cuz I’m sketching out some ideas of what my human designs for the boys culd be. I already did Leo’s like ages ago so he’s not on here but I’m realizing as I’m typing this my dumbass forgor to post it so um my bad I will do that in a few days—

But I wanted to design (or more accurately, redesign cuz I did draw em once a while back but I’m not satisfied with them) and I think I ate so far so uh yea. There isn’t any logic to sharing this, I just thought it was cool😭

And actually, imma share them here too just so y’all can see my boy ;w;

(A lil outdated cuz I didn’t give him lips at the time)

Okay there we go~

As you can see, I want all the boys to look kinda etherial and like they'd turn heads, and I think I am SUCCEEDING SO HARD SO FAR CUZ DAMNNNN THEY'RE ALL PRETTY AS SHIIIIIIIT TEEHEE✨ Also am tryna make sure they actually look Blasian since that's what the canon of my story says they are. I'll talk about them more another time when I have all of them on here~

But yea that's all for art this time folks :> ONTO THE NEXT THINGGG

Chapter Progress Time Whoop Whoooop‼️‼️

I didn’t make much progress on anything this month due to college—again, it’s fine, but there’s a shit ton of time management going on in my part to just manage everything and make sure I’m on track—BUT I am indeed still working on chapter 10. We’re up to 20 pages now which is only two more pages written from last month, but it’s kinda cool writing Donnie and I feel like I’m getting a better understanding of him! One thing I’ve been tryna do is understand autism better as a condition cuz I do wanna acknowledge and show bro’s autism instead of just ignoring it due to a lack of understanding. Donnie ain’t Donnie without it, ya know? I don’t know everything and tbh I would say I still have A LOT to learn on the subject matter, but I’m tryna expand my knowledge every opportunity I get and experimenting with how to better show it! This is to say tho, I’M NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, NOR AN EXPERT ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. This is what I’m finding and comprehending via my own research, and can tbh end up being wrong so please don’t quote me as a reliable source, I’m still learning ;v;

I remember one of the things I kept hearing about was autism leading people to struggle with empathy. The best way I heard it being described was someone bringing the example of when their friend was upset. That person can’t truly feel their friend’s emotions because they’re not the one experiencing it, so can’t properly understand how it’s making their friend feel. But they can see that their friend is communicating their sadness, and they still try to comfort them and make sure their friend knows they’re there for support. I understood it as bringing logic to emotions in a sense; collecting data and figuring out how to handle the situation based on the data rather than using intuition alone.

I’ve been using that to figure out how Donnie might handle more emotionally subtle situations, where he might try to rationally work through what’s happening and kinda substitute it in place of natural empathy. Like the little tidbit I gave above! Instead of just automatically being able to get vibes that the other person is upset, I felt maybe Donnie would instead notice the fact their tone is kinda different from before; it’s basically a data point. With that data point in mind, he could connect it to past experiences where a tone change could indicate a mood change, and as a result he might conclude that Salena’s tone change means she’s upset. I comprehend it as manually working through empathy rather than it being second nature, if that makes sense. Obviously and thankfully Donnie isn’t gonna spend the entire chapter playing a guessing game or anything with Salena’s emotions, it’s just one lil moment that I thought was cool challenge to myself with when writing him! I really love putting myself in the characters’ shoes when I’m writing them or their dialogue. I highly recommend it as a tool too, since it's helped me a lot with staying in character!

Last Lil Segment Y'all

Aight so, I wanted to try doing something cool if y'all are up for it. I really love rambling about my story and lore and characters blah blah blah, but I don't really know how to do so tbh. I'm not that familiar with how social medias work cuz I just never took it seriously, and I don't wanna just keep being like HEYYYYY ASK BOX IS OPENNNNN like I'm screaming from the top of the hill either. Sooooo insteaddddd

I think it'd be fun to do Q&As here! Or at least something similar. I'll open my ask box again and feel free to send any questions you want; it can be about the story, past lore, design questions, getting to know the characters, absolutely anything! Then when I'm gonna do my update for the month, I'll compile all y'all's asks, (prolly will have to tag to make sure you guys know I answered it, or if you ask anon then uh idk look out for the monthly update) and then answer them during the monthly update as the last section! I think it'll be a cool way to make this feel more interactive, and gives me an excuse to ramble. Don't be afraid to ask potentially spoilery questions either! If it's something I can't spoil yet or even give hints or vague answers about, I'll just say so in the update!

Anywhizzle, That's All Folks~!

I'm glad there was so much to talk about this month! I actually deadass thought it would be short but I should know better with my yapping' ass💀✨ But yeah, thanks for reading everyone! I hope y'all enjoy the rest of your days, and I shall see you next month~ Bye :D

Tageroonies:

@yosajaeofficial @chaoticspeedrun @ramblehour @randomcerealbrand @goldanrabbit @m1sf0rtun3 @foundthethief @ackalice @jellyfishheartsss @dollyrin @harukonene @iieieiw @mwantstossleep @zipzaizen @hypocriticaltypwriter @lordfreg @rainbowpr1sm @idioticsky @oleander-nin @cheeselord-official @skittlesqueen101

By the way, if you guys think you’d like to be tagged whenever an MFIP chapter is posted, lmk in a reblog or comment (no asks or dms plz, too inconvenient) and I’ll be sure to tag so it’s more reliable than tumblr notifs :3🫶

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs

[lycandrophile]

I cannot thank you enough for your posts about top surgery. I'm hoping to get mine in a couple years. Your updates are really comforting to me, even (maybe especially) the bad stuff because it makes me feel more prepared. I hope your recovery keeps going well!

On another note, how did you decide whether to keep your nipples or not? I like how chests look with and without them, so it's hard to choose

for me there were a few factors that led me to go nipless:

the biggest thing was that when i imagined my body post-op, i naturally always saw it without nipples. that was just what felt right when i thought about how it would look — i didn’t even have to think about it, that’s just what came to mind. i figured, if i’m automatically picturing myself like that, that’s probably a good indication of what i would be happiest with.

i’ve also always had sensory issues related to my nipples. i basically wore a sports bra constantly, including when i slept, because i hated the feeling of loose fabric touching them and moving against them. so if i had kept my nipples, i would’ve ended up with either no sensation or more discomfort, not anything positive.

i really didn’t want to deal with the healing process for nipple grafts. my skin is super sensitive and finicky, so if anyone would be almost guaranteed to have problems with graft healing, god only knows it would be me. i also know i’m more prone to infection than most people, so avoiding the part of the surgery that has the highest chance of infection seemed like a good plan. on top of all that, i’m also a huge baby about having to touch any sort of injury on my body (just putting moisturizer on my mostly healed incisions was something i had to work up to), so i knew doing the graft care would be difficult for me too.

i know that i can be super picky about the way things look, especially when it comes to things like spacing and symmetry. so if i had gotten nipple grafts, i think it’s super likely that i would’ve ended up feeling like they were put in the wrong place or being bothered by any asymmetry in how they healed. obviously i wanted to pick the kind of surgery that was the most likely to give me results i would be fully satisfied with, so getting grafts despite knowing i’d probably end up nitpicking them for years to come just seemed silly.

i honestly really love the idea of having a chest that’s visibly different from a typical cis man’s chest. the goal of my transition has never been to look cis and i take a lot of pride in being recognizably trans, so having a kind of surgery that isn’t just trying to imitate what i would look like if i were cis was really appealing to me.

going without grafts is just cheaper, so given all of the other reasons i didn’t want grafts, there was just no reason for me to spend extra money on them. i want a few extra hundred dollars in my bank account way more than i want nipples.

and in hindsight, i genuinely couldn’t be happier with my decision. when i look at my chest, even now while it’s still not fully healed, it looks just like how i always imagined i would look with a flat chest and feels like the most natural thing in the world.

if you’re having trouble deciding which you like better, i would try just closing your eyes and imagining both on your body. this was one thing i did if i saw someone with grafts whose results i really liked and felt uncertain in my decision, because what i always ended up realizing was that no matter how good they looked on other people, it felt super weird imagining them on myself. in fact, most of the time i struggled to really even picture it at all.

you could also try gathering a bunch of pictures of both types of results and seeing how you feel about all of them. maybe when you look at the results with grafts, there’s only a few that you feel like you would be dissatisfied with, but when you look at results without grafts, there are a lot more that you probably wouldn’t want. or maybe it’s the other way around. like i said, you’re going to want to go with the kind of surgery you’re mostly likely to be happy with, so if you seem to be more critical of one kind of surgery’s results than the other, that can help guide your choice.

and if you really don’t feel any differently about them, consider the other factors: how do you feel about the healing process? is sensation in your nipples something you find pleasure in and would consider trying to preserve? what does the difference in cost look like for you and how important is that to you? how important is it to be able to pass as cis if necessary? and so on. your decision might end up being made based on something other than pure aesthetics and that’s totally okay.

[devil-doll13]

Some House of Wax/Sinclair Brothers Headcanons I’ve had in my head that I’ve already shared w the server but… The rest of the world deserves to know.

Related to gif, Vincent is the ‘medical expert’ of the house solely because he’s the one who knows the human body/first aid the best. I mean, in the movie we see him stitching up those wounds on what’s-his-face pretty neatly, right? This is also part of the reason why he automatically reaches for Bo during this scene.

Given his birth date was sniffed out by fans before me (1970) and this man looks like he’s a cosplayer sometimes, I truly believe Bo idolised Elvis Presley as a kid, and maybe a bit as an adult as well. He still enjoys listening to rock n’ roll from that era when he’s in a good mood. When he’s in a bad mood, or doing his business™️ in his sex dungeon/basement, that’s when the Marilyn Manson comes on.

All of them have had an alt phase of some sort. For Vincent it was goth, for Bo it was rivethead/industrial rock and for Lester it was grunge.

Les is also down bad fucking horrendous for alt people in general. Yes, he has magazines stuffed down his sofa, yes, they used to be Bo’s.

Bo is allergic to nuts. He also gets really nasty hay fever. I also think possibly him having sensory issues/picky eater could’ve led to meltdowns as we see in the opening. And really, it’s the 1970s/80s do you expect his parents to understand or sympathise?

In contrast, Lester has the constitution of a Greek god somehow and has probably eaten some absolutely vile shit as a kid.

I know most people interpret Vince as sweet and shy but… While I do think he’s more measured and withdrawn compared to Bo, I also think being the ‘favourite’ in terms of being Trudy’s little art prodigy contributed to a sort of spoilt brattiness esp as a kid. (Exhibit A: The ‘Bo Sux’ fridge art in the opening) As an adult, there’s still a sense of entitlement to him. What I’m saying is that he’s an insufferable art nerd lol. He definitely isn’t toothless and his arguments with Bo aren’t necessarily one-sided, he’s just capable of ignoring him when he wants to; he’s used to his twin, after all. While I do think he’s capable of being soft, don’t forget this man killed a woman in cold blood and recorded it. I also think he can get snippy enough during arguments to combat Bo’s generally sharp tongue.

Speaking of which, everyone in the (surviving) family knows ASL. It’s necessary when communicating with Vincent.

Again with how prolific a killer Vincent is, I suspect he may be the one who does the most murder out of all of them. Bo is the handsome ‘face’ of Ambrose, and Vincent is right under the seedy underbelly with a knife, ready to spill guts (and then sew it up again once he’s got them in the workshop). Lester is similar to Bo in that he mostly just guides people toward the town, but I do think he gets his own notions sometimes.

From a more x reader perspective, Bo strikes me as a man who’s most charming when he’s not trying to be. Of course he can put on an act for victims/tourists, but those are just empty words, y’know? Also, has a kinda cheesy side.

I know everyone has Jonesy as Lester’s dog but… I think she’s really Vincent’s. In the movie, she’s always seen with Vin or in the house of wax itself, it’s only when he dies that she goes to Lester. I actually think Les is a cat person (tell me he wouldn’t actually encourage their hunting habits for his own personal collection…) while Vin is a dog person. Also, hot take I think Bo loves snakes and reptiles.

Given that the House of Wax and Ambrose itself is a big ol’ art project, and we’ve seen the state of the church (permanently in the middle of dead ass crusty Trudy’s funeral) I think there may be a sort of difficulty letting go of their past in the brothers, maybe some hoarding as well (I mean we haven’t even seen some of the other houses in Ambrose but this is just speculation). We get the sense that Ambrose is a place where time stands still, forever, until its conservationists finally die. Idk I’m talking out my ass here

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part twenty-seven: "The Grocery Run"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Matt offers to make you dinner. The pair of you take a trip to a grocery store to get what you need for the meal.

Or

Matt struggles with sensory overload. You also get the feeling there's more behind what he asks you, but you can’t quite seem to figure out what…

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 4.2k

a/n: A little Matt hurt/comfort installment here! And also, later in this series there is a hurt/no comfort arc known as Big Angst (my AO3 readers got paragraphs of end notes of my ramblings about, but just a head's up, you begin to slowly see tension arise between Matt and Reader about a particular topic... As always, you can find the entire list of installments available on tumblr here. Enjoy!

“So, are you free tonight?” Matt asked, slipping his hand into yours as the door to the coffee shop closed behind the pair of you.

Burying your chin into your scarf, the cold November wind chilling you, you fell in step beside Matt on the sidewalk. His cane was tapping rhythmically in front of the pair of you as you helped him navigate the busy afternoon foot traffic of Hell’s Kitchen.

“Yes, I’m free tonight,” you told him, smiling a little into the knitted fabric of your scarf. You’d already spent most of this late Saturday morning and early afternoon together and you felt giddy at the thought of him still not getting enough of you yet. “Something you had in mind?”

His hand squeezed yours, the little gesture drawing a wider smile to your mouth. You lightly bumped your shoulder into his in return.

“I was considering cooking you dinner, if you’d like?” he suggested.

Your left hand flew up to your chest, just over your heart, as you gasped dramatically. Matt’s head turned towards you, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards under his dark lenses.

“Matthew Murdock,” you teased lightly, “are you trying to wine and dine me?”

“You caught me,” he joked back.

Laughing lightly, your gaze dropped back to the sidewalk before the pair of you. The smile was still on your lips as you leaned a little into his side, feeling a bit of his warmth radiate along your side through his winter jacket. You loved living in the city, but you’d begun to love it even more simply for the fact that you often walked everywhere and had an excuse to hold Matt’s hand when he was with you.

“I’d love that,” you told him. “But the issue is, you never have food in your apartment. Did you actually go grocery shopping for this?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “No,” he admitted. “Honestly I just decided on it while we were having coffee so I still need to go pick up something to make.”

“Or…we could go now?” you offered, glancing at him beside you with a raised brow. “I can come with, if you’d like?”

His head tilted to the side, the smile slipping off of his face as he thought for a moment. As you approached the street corner, you turned the pair of you down another street, Matt following your lead as you took the pair of you closer to a grocery store that you knew was nearby. 

“I guess,” he answered slowly. “If you don’t mind? It’s just that…I tend to have a hard time at grocery stores. I hate them, really,” he admitted, a faint frown on his mouth. "If I don't have groceries delivered I usually go with Foggy."

“Is that why your fridge is always so bare?” you asked, half-joking.

He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “No, not exactly. You know I’m usually not at home,” he replied. "Either I order takeout or I don't eat."

"Or I force feed you when you stop by at night," you teased.

"Yes," he agreed, shooting you a grin that had your stomach flipping. "You do that quite often. You know,” he began, tone turning playful, “you might actually be the sole reason I haven't starved yet.”

Leaning over, you placed a gentle kiss to his jacket-clad shoulder. Your eyes caught the little upward curve of his lips in response to the gesture. When you turned your attention ahead of you, you saw the grocery store just halfway down the block.

“So why don’t you like grocery stores?” you asked him curiously. “Besides the fact that most of them around here lack braille signage.”

He glanced downward towards his feet as if he was embarrassed or uncomfortable before he spoke. “Too much noise and stimulation,” he muttered. “Lots of people. Lots of scents. It’s just…it’s all overwhelming. And you’re right, there’s nothing labeled in braille. It’s just not an enjoyable experience.”

You frowned, lowering your head to rest along his shoulder as the pair of you walked. "I figured about the braille but I guess I never really thought about how assaulted your senses must feel in a place filled with people and food," you mused. 

"Yeah, I'm not a fan," he murmured.

"We don't have to make dinner," you said. "Or I can grab everything myself so you don't have to go?"

He leaned over, kissing the top of your head. You smiled contentedly, eyes briefly closing as his warm lips lingered against you. Fuck, you loved this man.

"I'll be okay," he whispered into your hair. "I've got you with me."

You laughed lightly, head still resting along his shoulder as you both neared the store. "You say that like I have some sort of super power," you joked. "Pretty sure that's just you, Matty."

"Actually," Matt quickly countered enthusiastically, "you do. It's right here."

You watched as he paused mid-step, raising the hand holding his cane and tapping a finger lightly over your winter coat, just over your heart. Immediately one of your brows rose curiously onto your forehead as you glanced down at his finger.

"I'm not following," you admitted. 

He laughed, returning his cane to the sidewalk as you both approached the grocery store. "Your heartbeat," Matt explained. "It's calming, in its own way. Oftentimes it's racing or a little uneven, but I like how it sounds. It's unique, more than most heartbeats, so it's easy to zero in on." 

He cleared his throat and your head shifted along his shoulder, glancing up at him. Your eyes narrowed as you swore you saw pink tinge his cheeks. 

"I uh, I usually focus on it whenever I get overwhelmed," he admitted softly. "Even before Marci and Foggy's wedding."

Your heart gave a little stuttering beat at that admission. Beside you, Matt chuckled, his hand squeezing yours.

"Like I said," he began, "oftentimes it's racing or a little uneven, especially when it comes to me."

Feeling a faint blush creep along your face at the new knowledge that Matt had been paying that close of attention to your heart for far longer than you’d realized, you drew the pair of you to a stop in front of the store. Removing your head from his shoulder, you awkwardly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and bit your lip.

“You still have a way of making me nervous,” you muttered under your breath. “But uh, we’re here.”

Reaching a hand out, you held the door to the store open for Matt. Your eyes quickly noticed the way his entire body seemed to tense, completely going rigid. A slight frown slipped onto your mouth at the sight as you watched him step into the store. You desperately wished there was something you could do to make this less of a difficult experience for him. 

“Cart or basket?” you asked, trying to keep your voice low as you stepped in beside him.

“Basket is fine,” he answered, posture rigid. “Don’t particularly plan to be here long enough to fill a cart.”

Chewing the inside of your cheek, you grabbed a basket from the stack near you. As your focus returned to Matt, you saw him folding up his cane. One of your brows rose curiously as you watched him.

“You mind if I just hold onto your arm?” he asked.

Shaking your head, you answered, “Not at all. You want me to put your cane in the basket?”

He shot you a strained smile, nodding quickly. “If you could, thanks,” he replied.

You grabbed the cane from him, quickly depositing it into the basket that you’d looped the handles of over the crook of your arm. Afterwards, you placed one of Matt’s hands along your bicep. He gripped it fairly tight, tighter than he usually did when you helped guide him.

“So what are we grabbing?” you asked, trying to keep your tone light as you led him to the open produce section before the pair of you. You noticed it was fairly busy today, judging by the handful of people milling about the fresh produce. “You have something in mind?”

He cleared his throat, head tilting to the side. “How do you feel about lamb chops?” he asked curiously.

Your brows furrowed, not expecting him to suggest that. “It sounds fancier than what I cook,” you answered. “Honestly, I've never had it before.”

“Are you open to it?” he asked, raising a brow behind his lenses.

“Matt,” you began lightly, “you should know by now that I’m usually always open to trying things with you.”

He leaned down towards you, a sly grin on his face as he whispered into your ear. “Yes, but that’s generally in the bedroom,” he whispered. “I’m talking about eating something that’s actually food right now.”

Heat rose to your cheeks at his words and you swallowed hard, glancing away. His hand abruptly tightened its grip on your arm as a woman pushing a cart with an irritatingly squeaky wheel passed the pair of you. Faintly you registered her perfume on top of that before you realized that had probably been a vastly more intense experience for Matt to endure than it was for you, judging by the death grip he had on your bicep.

“So, we’re currently in the produce section,” you began, trying to focus the pair of you so you could get Matt out of here quicker. “Do we need some vegetables?”

“What are your thoughts on roasted brussel sprouts?” he asked, seeming slightly distracted.

“I enjoy them,” you answered with a grin. “Is that what you want?”

Matt nodded silently beside you, his attention briefly darting off to the side as the corner of his lips turned down. Taking a moment to scan around you for where the brussel sprouts were located, you wondered what he was currently focused in on. Eyes catching sight of the little green vegetables, you gently tugged your arm against Matt’s hold. His head quickly snapped back towards you as you carefully guided him through the produce section, maneuvering the pair of you around other people and the displays of produce until you both reached the brussel sprouts. 

“Do you want–” you began, but were quickly cut off when Matt’s free hand darted out.

Tilting your own head to the side, you watched in curious silence as Matt’s hand scanned along a few different bags filled with brussel sprouts before you. You’d been about to offer to pick one out, planning to find one that looked the freshest, but apparently Matt had his own way of doing things. After a moment he carefully placed one of the bags into the basket hanging off of your arm and your brows rose onto your forehead as you took in the sight of some really fresh brussel sprouts.

“How did you do that?” you asked him in awe.

His attention shifted towards you, a little grin forming on his mouth. “I have heightened senses, remember?” he whispered. “I can focus on which one smells the freshest.”

Your jaw nearly dropped to the floor. He chuckled lightly beside you, though his grip was still tight on your arm.

“Does that work with all food items?” you asked him curiously.

He shrugged beside you. “I suppose so, yeah. Why?”

“Ugh,” you groaned out playfully, turning the pair of you around. “It’s such a shame grocery stores are so awful for you to endure because I would kill to have you pick out fruit. I am terrible at it. I'd never have a bad watermelon again.”

“Good to know I should never trust you with buying the fruit in the future,” he teased, amused.

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously as your attention returned to him. “What do you mean?” you asked. 

He shot you a tight lipped smile, as if he’d said something he hadn’t meant to before he quickly shook his head. “Let’s grab a few potatoes for tonight,” he diverted, his attention shifting away from you.

As you led him towards the potatoes, you kept side-eyeing him suspiciously. What had he meant by that? It was almost like he implied there’d be a reason you’d be buying the groceries for the pair of you in the future…

“We need a few red potatoes,” he said, his voice cutting through your train of thought. “I can pick them out if you guide me to where they are.”

You reached out, grabbing his wrist and drawing his hand to the section of red potatoes in the display. Immediately Matt began searching for the best ones, his hand briefly feeling around the potatoes.

“I take it all potatoes smell the same?” you asked him.

He paused, glancing back over his shoulder at you with an amused grin. “Yes, sweetheart,” he teased, “all potatoes smell pretty much the same.”

“You’re the one with the fancy Devil senses,” you mumbled as he returned to his task. “How am I supposed to know how potatoes smell to you?”

He chuckled, turning and dropping a few of them into the basket. “I suppose that’s a fair point,” he conceded. “Now, we should probably get the lamb. Then maybe a good red wine?”

Your eyes narrowed immediately at the mention of ‘good red wine.’ “Is there a reason you’re making a fancy meal that includes a good red wine, Murdock?” you asked him suspiciously.

He shot you a little grin, shaking his head. “I just want to make my girl a nice dinner. Is that so wrong?” he questioned.

You snorted out a laugh, Matt’s grin only widening at the sound. Leading the pair of you towards the area labeled ‘Meat’, careful to avoid Matt bumping into everyone else who was not remotely paying attention to anything outside of themselves, your eyes began scanning for lamb chops.

“Your girl, huh?” you teased, eyes roving the various packages.

“Mhmm,” he hummed back.

Chewing your lip, your eyes continued to scan the refrigerated shelves. Eventually you spotted the packages, pointing them out to Matt. Wordlessly you saw him reach out, touching a couple packages briefly before grabbing one. As he turned to set it in the basket, you saw him flinch at the exact same time a baby began crying somewhere in the store. Rigid once again, he placed the package of meat into the basket, his hand gripping hard to your bicep. 

“We can leave,” you instantly told him. “If this is too much, we don’t have to stay.” 

He shook his head, lips thinned out into a straight line. There was a pained look on his face even with his glasses on and you found yourself frowning at the sight.

“Are you still wanting to grab that wine before we check out?” you asked him hesitantly.

“Yeah,” he answered, voice tight.

Nodding slowly, you turned, leading the pair of you towards the long row of aisles past the produce and meat. As you began leading the pair of you past row after row, your eyes were focused on scanning the various signs above them looking for the section with the alcohol. You had been so focused that you didn’t realize Matt had come to a stop behind you until his firm grip on your arm jolted you to a sharp stop. You paused, turning to look over your shoulder at Matt.

Immediately you felt your heart sink. You could see the tight crease between his dark brows that were drawn together low behind his lenses. The muscle in his cheek was twitching visibly, as if he was grinding his teeth together. Behind his glasses you could make out the pinched look on his face.

You stepped back towards him, facing him fully as his hand only wrapped tighter around your arm. “Matty?” you asked nervously. “You okay? Do we need to go?”

The muscles in his cheek continued to jump and twitch, but he made no move to answer. Chewing the inside of your own cheek, you carefully tried to draw him in towards you. He accepted your embrace easily; his face immediately lowered into the skin of your neck that was exposed just above your scarf. You carefully wrapped your one arm around his back, aware of the basket still hanging off of it. Your other hand slid up between the pair of you, coming to gently rest along the back of his head, your fingers gently carding through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” you heard him whisper into your neck.

“What?” you asked in shock, ignoring the looks being shot your way from other customers. Normally, you’d have been self-conscious drawing attention to you in any store, but right now you didn’t remotely care. Matt was having a hard time and that was all that mattered to you. 

“I’m sorry I can’t handle a simple grocery trip,” he explained.

“Matt, stop,” you said firmly. “If I could be aware of half of the things you always are, I’d probably always be crying on the floor. Don’t apologize. It’s okay.” You lowered your forehead, resting it against his temple. “Do you want to go?” you asked softly. “Or is there something I can do to help?”

He nuzzled his face further into your neck, his hand on your lower back holding you tight to him. “This is helping,” he whispered. “Just…let me focus on you for a minute?”

“Take all the time you need,” you assured him, your hand still gently carding through his hair.

The two of you had stayed like that for a few minutes, just standing in your strange, silent embrace in front of the loaves of bread. A handful of people gave you both strange looks as they pushed their carts past but you ignored them. Eventually Matt pulled away, a sheepish smile on his face as your arms released him.

“Thank you,” he said awkwardly. 

"Of course, Matt," you said, placing his arm back onto your bicep. "It's not like you haven't always been there to help me whenever I need it. Is there anything that would help you though?"

He smiled a little less uncomfortably now, stepping back beside you and nudging your arm, encouraging you to continue walking. You resumed your search for the wine section, once again guiding the pair of you past the various aisles filled with different items. 

"Your voice," he answered. "Your voice helps."

A blush rose to your cheeks as you spotted the alcohol section a few aisles down, just past the coffee and tea aisle. Leading the pair of you that way, you said, "Now I feel put on the spot to blurt something entertaining."

He chuckled softly beside you. "How about you tell me about that story you've been digging into?” he suggested. “You have been oddly silent about it the past week and a half."

You pulled him down aisle eight, leading you both to the vast section of red wines. "I found some leads," you told him, eyes roving the many bottles of wine before you. "Enough to dig into it and have Ellison extend my deadline. I've been working on it on the side of my other stories, but I think this Wayland Corporation is a part of something bigger. I just can’t figure out what yet."

"You said there was a possible connection to Figueroa?" Matt pressed.

"Oh there's definitely a connection," you assured him. "He was an investor–like big time investor–in Wayland. Pretty sure Figueroa still has a company that is actively investing a hefty amount of money while he's in prison."

"Maybe you shouldn't be looking into this," Matt said, a dark edge to his tone.

You shifted, turning to look at him beside you. A serious, concerned expression had taken residence on his face as he gazed back at you. Those dark red lenses looked almost intimidating. 

"Matt, this is literally what I do," you stated firmly. "I'm an investigative journalist. I investigate things. And I am not letting this go."

"If there's someone bigger than Figueroa behind whatever is going on, you're going to put yourself in danger, sweetheart," Matt pushed. 

You shook your head, eyes landing back on the red wines. "I'll be fine, Matt. No one's going to kill me. And if things start looking like they’ll be dangerous, I'll let you know, okay?" Shooting him a quick look, you saw his jaw was set firm. "You want to help pick out a wine or…?" you asked awkwardly. 

"Any cabernet should do," he answered in a clipped tone.

You frowned, turning to face him fully beside you. "You're mad at me, aren't you?" you asked him carefully. 

"I just don't want to see you getting hurt," he replied stiffly. 

Reaching a hand up nervously, your fingertips gently brushed along the length of his jaw. It was always one of your favorite things to do, touching him like this. His expression softened a little and you smiled, a bit of the tension you’d felt easing. 

"I'll be careful," you promised softly. "But now picking out a red wine to pair with lamb on the other hand," you began, spinning back towards the shelves of options as your hand lowered, "is something I do not feel capable of handling."

Matt chuckled beside you, stepping forward and grabbing a bottle off the shelf just to your right. You watched as he set the bottle in the basket, mouth slightly agape. How in the hell did he keep doing that?

"Oh, yeah," you joked, "that was definitely the bottle I was eyeing."

He grinned at you, tugging your arm a little. "Sure, sweetie. You made a great choice. Now let's get the hell out of here before more people start arguing at the same time a child is breaking a jar of pickles on top of the buzzing of the fluorescent lights, this terrible flashback to the nineties music playing on the speakers, the seven different plastic bags currently rustling, and–"

"Oh my God ," you said, guiding the pair of you out of the aisle quickly. "Let's get you out of here before your head explodes, because now I'm starting to worry. No one should be able to experience that many different sensations all at once."

"I agree," he said, removing his hand from your arm to wrap himself around your waist, lowering his chin to your shoulder as the pair of you walked. "But all of that is nice in one particular situation."

You rolled your eyes, trying to control your body’s reaction to his implication. "You would still find a way to think about that," you mumbled. 

"I'm always thinking about that with you," he countered, voice low.

A thought struck you as you neared the front of the store. "So that's why you're making me dinner!" you blurted.

"What? No!" he quickly responded.

"Oh it totally is," you teased him. "You are trying to wine and dine me."

"Sweetheart, I just wanted to make you a nice dinner," he assured you. 

Your head turned, glancing curiously at him beside you as your pace slowed a bit. He was chewing his bottom lip, the movement catching your eye. Why did he seem nervous?

 "...and to have an excuse to ask you to stay the night again,” he quickly added.

A smile spread over your lips, shaking your head as you pulled the pair of you into a line to check out. "Matt, you don't need to make dinner or come up with an excuse for me to stay, just ask," you told him.

"But,” he began slowly, his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him, his voice filled with something you couldn’t quite make out, “what if I want you to stay the night more often?" 

You placed the grocery basket onto the conveyor belt, brows furrowing together as you pulled his cane from it. "We already stay at each other's places multiple times a week," you said. "You want me over…more?"

Turning and looking up at him, you took in the hard to read expression on his face. Once again he almost looked nervous. Why?

"Yes," he said softly.

"I mean…I guess I can stay over more…" you said, brows still furrowed as you studied him beside you. "I just have to figure out how to get to work faster in the mornings when I do. I can’t keep pissing Ellison off and bribing him with coffees."

"You can always leave some of your clothes and things at my place," he offered quickly. “Toothbrush. Shampoo and conditioner. Whatever you need.”

Your brows shot up onto your forehead. He wanted you to leave some of your stuff at his place? Were you hearing him right?

 "Oh, uh, yeah…I uh, I guess that would–would help…" you stammered nervously. “So I could get ready there in the mornings when I stay over, I suppose.”

As Matt silently smiled back at you, you began to wonder why it felt like you were missing something, but you didn’t have long to wonder as the cashier greeted the pair of you and began ringing up your items.

[laughterliberator]

Tickle Thoughts Day #1

Had this series going on my last blog, so I figured I’d start it here. This could be a controversial topic, but here goes.

(TW: discussion of the fetish/kinky side of tickling. Not NSFW, but wanted to warn any hard SFW readers just in case)

So…. I have a tickle fetish. Does that mean I have to engage in hookup culture?

I’ve discovered a different side of the tickle community in the last few weeks. I’ve always been on the kink-heavy half, the side where people are very obvious about their sexual enjoyment of our little hobby. And yes, I’m one of them: I do get turned on by tickling. Always have, always will.

Since I got started in the community, I’ve been led to believe that’s all the tickling community could be: a horny group of “friends” that also frequently try to satisfy one another sexually. Being raised the way I was, I had to suppress a lot of discomfort about this lifestyle. I did it well, too: I found enjoyment, satisfaction, and even a certain level of community. I even saw a few strong romantic relationships in my friend group.

But I never found true, unconditional relationships. Everyone was trying to get a piece of me, or me a piece of them, and it led to fights, high emotions, and hurt feelings often. I frequently left servers, sites, and people when I got burnt out from the pressure. That’s where the end of 2023 found me.

Fastforward to 2024

I rejoin Tumblr after a hiatus, and accidentally stumble upon the other side: people who love tickling as innocent, unburdened fun. Not describing it as a “fetish,” but still using the same terminologies of Lee, Ler, etc. Less-to-no bondage, sensory play or stimulation (though that varies from person to person).

Suddenly I’m having genuine conversations that aren’t motivated to move right into tickling, though it’s certainly involved. Suddenly I feel slightly less used, slightly less like a commodity. Suddenly, I understand the idea of having truly trusting interpersonal relationships that weren’t trying to constantly get in my tickle pants.

The problem? The fetish-ness of tickling is still ingrained in my identity. It’s not wrong to exclude, but the complete extrication of that aspect of my tickle talk gave me culture shock. I’m riding a fence here: loving the genuineness that comes from pursuing the innocence of tickling, but not wanting to deny that with a committed partner, I hope to engage in this as a fetish.

So, which side is right? Who’s in the wrong?

Neither. Not really. The problem isn’t whether you view tickling as a turn-on or spotless fun, the real issue (in my opinion) is hookup culture. It saps the genuineness from people, it adds manipulation and end goals, and it reduces your tickle status to “tickle skill,” “experience,” and “session #”.

(Side note: from here on out, I’m done asking people “How many sessions have you had?” For me, there are too many similarities between that and “body count.”)

The tickling community isn’t entirely broken; only some parts. Hookups aren’t the issue, hookup culture is. The idea that you need “experience” rather than connection, “clout” instead of character, and “play partners” with no commitment. It’s seeped into our tickle community, and it’s time we root it out.

In conclusion: I know there are other people on this fence with me. Let’s build some houses up here.

(DISCLAIMER: It’s not my intention to disparage any polyamorous dynamics, aromantic individuals, people who don’t enjoy sex, or anyone who seeks out romantic connection by means of tickle sessions. This criticism is merely of the non-committal expectations imbued into our tickle culture today. Let’s please have understanding and reasonable discussions in the comments.)

[m00nsbaby]

One of my fav fic authors taking requests? 👁️👁️

Hello!! Is it ok if you could do a fluffly little Steven x reader oneshot where he comforts the reader after finding them locked in the bathroom after they have a sensory overload at a party?

I’m aware this is kind of specific and as always with fanfic request, you don’t have to write it :)

Thank you!!!

stop you are going to make me blush 🥺🥺 Also, I loved the prompt, finally i'm not getting sent to the corner lol <3

Life of the party.

Steven Grant x reader.

Tags & warnings. Comfort at a sensory overload.

Word count. 728.

Summary.

I keep thinking about you, how you level me out sometimes, When I'm out on my head, and I don't wanna face it. You said it's all for a reason, what the fuck is the reason now? Coming down, bring me back, I'm the life of the party I'm the life of the party.

Steven was in his element, to the surprise of anyone.

He drank like someone who had a beer every day of his life, even though you'd swear you'd never seen him enjoy one. He chatted, controlled the music, and even got you to dance a couple of times on the improvised dance floor, which was just a few sofas pushed to the side.

The thing is, Steven didn't have many friends.

When you started dating, things changed. He began to come out of his shell, and it turns out your friends welcomed him as if they'd known him all their lives. Meanwhile, you were delighted that he felt like part of the group.

With much of his adolescence blocked from his mind, you could almost consider this the first party he'd ever been to where he felt truly comfortable.

It was fun… for the first three hours.

You were so used to spending your days at home that maybe you hadn't had the chance to let Steven know that sometimes it could all be… too much.

When you found yourself tilting your head against your shoulder to try to muffle the music's noise, you realized that it might be time for a break. You didn't want to ruin your boyfriend's fun, so you simply stood up and headed to the bathroom.

Your heart had been racing for a few minutes, and you tried to convince yourself that you had it under control. The closed door gave you a few seconds of peace when you noticed that it at least quieted down the noise a bit.

It wasn't enough, though.

You covered your ears with your hands, your eyes closed as your body's weight rested against the sink. You didn't want to cry, but your body always got ahead of you.

After a few minutes, you decided that standing wasn't helping, and you allowed yourself to take a break. You pushed the curtain aside, and your body found a spot in the dry bathtub.

The cold was pleasant.

You stayed like that for a good few minutes; you lost count of how many. But you supposed it had been longer than expected when the bathroom door opened.

Steven, now without a beer in hand, had a concerned expression.

"Love?" You looked up, your cheeks warming with embarrassment about your situation, but you couldn't do much more than talk to him, especially when your heart rate was just beginning to calm down.

"The door."

"Of course, sorry." He closed it behind him immediately. "What are you doing in there?"

You still covered your ears with your hands but listened to his voice rising slightly to overcome the music. You shrugged.

You didn't want to talk. In fact, you didn't want him there, though the irritation was just an extra effect.

He didn't press the issue, but he did speak again.

"Can I join you?"

You nodded slowly, and he did his best to fit into the tub with you, his legs bent like yours to avoid hitting the edge.

You remained silent and closed your eyes, your head resting against the wall as you took deep breaths.

There wasn't much to do if you'd already managed to ruin Steven's fun.

"It's too much," you muttered without opening your eyes, trying to give an explanation.

Somehow, he understood, and although you couldn't see it, he nodded.

After a few minutes, you could lean your head against his shoulder, and you could swear you felt his body relax as soon as you touched him. No matter how many times you begged him not to, you knew that Steven cared, always.

"Can I?" He extended his arm but didn't place it over your shoulders until you nodded.

He gave you a comforting squeeze against his body.

He felt your breathing gradually level out.

"I got worried when I didn't see you out there."

"You always worry." You made him chuckle a little as he nodded, agreeing with you. "I'm okay, Steven."

You didn't stop him from kissing your temple. The scent of his perfume was pleasant, soft, nothing like the smell of beer and fries outside.

"I'm sorry for leaving you alone out there."

"You didn't." It wasn't his fault, nor yours. Just things that happened. "I'm sorry for ruining the party."

"You didn't." He mimicked you, probably also thinking that this wasn't your fault. "I miss Gus." He joked with a small smile.

And you smiled back.

The bathroom felt more spacious now that you couldn't hear the thumping of your heart in your ears.

"Can we go home?"

"Sure." He slowly got to his feet, always the first to offer you a firm hand to help you up.

And you took it for support, as you always did.

Mk's tag list :)@ninebluehearts @icreatedthisat317am @onefinnedwonder-fm @shousha133

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to hang out with my autistic brother?

For context, I (Minor) am also autistic and have EXTREME sensory issues and am very empathetic. My brother (20M) is non-verbal, has very loud stims, and has meltdowns. Not very frequently, but a year or two ago he had them at least once every few months.

Also another note, he is incapable of living by himself and will never move out of our parents house. He is almost in every way dependent on our parents.

AKA I am a lot more “””””high-functioning””””” than him. I hate that term but we are on almost totally different sides of the spectrum basically.

BTW when I say I don’t want to hang out with him, I’m not saying I whine and complain about it to everyone in the general vicinity. ((I have never told anybody about this and keep it to myself.)) But instead I mean that what happens is that I either try to do my best to ignore him or I quietly leave the room.

The first and main reason why I don’t want to hang out with him is that he has extremely loud stims that do not go well with my sensory issues at ALL. He makes loud vocal stims and runs or walks around the area. He usually does this outside or in his room (because he likes to be alone), but whenever he’s in the main room of our house he’ll do it then too.

And our main room is almost always very loud already, which is unavoidable considering 4-6 of us are in the house at a time, plus the house is echoey. (I could be in my room with a closed door and fan all the way on and could still hear people in the main room)

I have already tried to combat this problem with wearing ear plugs, but it just doesn’t work out. 

I don’t want him to stop stimming, I just cannot deal with the loudness. Whenever he is downstairs I usually go back to my room, turn my fan on all the way, and listen to music to avoid it.

The second reason is that when he has meltdowns, he’s even louder (screams/yells) and is “”aggressive”” (he doesn’t have any bad intent he just runs, flips our parents off, punch, kick, etc) usually our parents are able to control the situation, but there have been times in the past where he has harmed me during these meltdowns. I don’t hate him for it at all. But it has installed a fear in me about being around him during/after his meltdowns. 

And for the record, he isn’t a small guy. He’s 6’ft, and at least 40 pounds heavier than me. I am 5’7ft and barely 100 pounds.

And even if this part wasn’t true I still get VERY stressed by his stims + emotions.

I don’t hate him or want him to stop stimming, I just cannot hang out in the same room with him without having sensory overload, being stressed, or sometimes being scared.

I’m probably leaving out some details but. AITA for not wanting to hang out with my autistic brother?

(could you tag this as 1️⃣ so i can find it easier, please?)

What are these acronyms?

[our-transmasculine-experience]

It's been on and off for what feels like the last couple months but I think I might be trans. I kinda remember wanting to be a boy when I was a little kid and I remember I used to try to intentionally make my voice sound deeper when I was like 15(? or maybe 14, something around those ages?) because I hated how my voice sounded but I stopped because my sister and mum took the piss out of me for doing it one time. I want to try presenting more masculine than I already try to do but my parents feel like a massive fucking roadblock to this. There's nowhere I know of that sells binders in person and I don't want to deal with the issues that could come from ordering them online(mainly my parents asking me what I ordered and stuff like that), my mum doesn't want me to cut my hair shorter because she thinks it'll be a shock to me or w/e. I hate having boobs so fucking much(they feel horrible and sweaty and I want them gone so badly but a part of me feels like that specific part might just be sensory issues) and there's no fucking way my parents are gonna let me get rid of my tits and also I remember during a car ride with my mum, sister and grandmother my grandma went on a rant about people asking for pronouns or w/e and while I don't think it got explicitly transphobic(or maybe it did, I don't remember too well) I ultimately remember coming out of it thinking "I will only come out once I'm able to move out of my house and be financially independent :)". But my parents don't even fucking let me try to get a job and I feel like I can barely even get any form of independence and I just feel so goddamn pathetic and with all the shit going on in the UK about trans rights I don't think I'll ever be able to come out even if I am able to eventually move out and the fact that I have an autism diagnosis(which I also fucking hate having so much and I sometimes wish I was never diagnosed) is just a whole other can of worms that I know will also be a massive fucking roadblock to coming out and actually transitioning. I don't want to say that my parents are transphobic(my dad at least seems like the safest person to come out to out of everyone) but my mum still sometimes accidentally misgenders a childhood friend of mine even though she's kinda known him long after he came out as trans and for some reason, I don't know if I'm misremembering what she's said but when she told me that my friend came out as trans I remember her saying something along the lines of "Just because [ ] is a boy doesn't mean you are too"(he wasn't there for this when she said that fyi) so I guess there's a decent chance she's just not gonna accept me as trans and I'm also scared that both of my parents will just think it's a stage at best and decide that they've had enough of me and kick me out at worst and I just fucking hate that I'm like this though I could be massively overthinking all of this and I just feel like shit about it, I just fucking wish I was born a guy or even some genderless blob so that I'd never have to think about this shit ever again. It's all just so suffocating and I hate being like this.

Sorry for the wall of text I just needed to get this off my chest at the very least.

i’m so, so, sorry that you have to deal with that. that sounds absolutely awful, and if you ever need to vent again or ask for advice, my ask box is open! (most of the times)

[binderreviews]

Amor Sensory first impressions review

Disclaimer: I was on the cusp of needing a full chest reversible racerback from Amor (my under and full chest measurements were about 5.5” apart), but I opted for the regular reversible racerback because I have broad shoulders (and also because it’s cheaper lmao). Also, I am an autistic person with pretty bad sensory issues, but my sensory issues may not be the same as other people’s, so take this as MY opinion.

Binding ability:

Pretty good. Not amazing, but it’s pretty acceptable. Note, I have only had this binder about a week, but the binding ability so far is not bad.

I’ve heard that this binder does not stretch out much, which I really hope will be the case for me.

Comfort and sensory friendliness:

This binder has a very good level of pressure. It’s comforting, but not suffocating, and it’s tight enough to actually compress. It also has a pretty even pattern of pressure, which I definitely like.

The back and shoulders are very soft, I like to run my hands on the stretchy parts of the binder just to feel them because I like the texture.

The seams are great, and there are no labels except for an ironed on logo on the back. As for washing instructions, they come on a fully detachable label (which does not leave that horrible tiny label when cut off).

The front panel is quite rough and is honestly one of the least sensory-friendly I’ve tried, which is a real shame. It can be worn reversed (i.e. inside-out), which is definitely how I prefer to wear it, but if you wear it like that, your shirt catches on the cotton of the panel. I really hope the front panel softens over time because I really do not like it currently.

Miscellaneous:

This binder is EXPENSIVE. I was only able to get it because it was a birthday gift for me. It is definitely not a cheap binder.

This binder is very ethically and sustainably made, which is a big reason for why I wanted to get it. Of course, this comes at a price, but I am in a position where I can afford it and I don’t want my gender euphoria to come at a cost to the people making my binder, if I can avoid it.

The straps come a bit closer together than I would like. They can be positioned to sit a bit further away from the neck, and they don’t sit super close to the neck, but they show through shirt necklines more than I’d like.

Overall opinion:

Given the price, I was expecting a bit better. It’s still a good binder, but that front panel really lets it down. It is otherwise one of the best binders I’ve tried, but for a binder that is that expensive and is advertised as being sensory friendly, I would expect a softer front panel. I’m speaking as someone who usually is able to tolerate having the front panel of binders against my skin, but has a lot of trouble tolerating this front panel.

[im-a-simp898]

If furries were real, how far into the animal features would you fuck?

Imagine a spectrum of furryness with each possible combination of human & animal features existing in real life. This spectrum would range from a normal human with the simple addition of cat ears on the tame end, with the other end of the scale being a fully adult, sentient, & consenting mind but within the body of a dog or other animal with no other human distinguishing features aside from its self awareness and sentience. Unless you’re a pious christian who would refuse the normal woman with cat ears, or a mentally ill zoophile who would have sex with a normal animal, you’ve drawn a line somewhere between those two ends of the scale. I know where my line lies and i’m curious about where yours is.

How far down this scale would you be willing to fuck something? What combination or percentage of human and animal features mixed would be your line that you cannot cross?

Me personally i would stop at super sayian 4 (a transformation taken by sayians in dragon ball gt) which is characterized by the body being covered in a velvet colored fur (with the exceptions of the head, neck, chest, & hands), a monkey like tail, and long, thick, almost mane like black hair with red and black eye markings reminiscent to eyeliner

The reason that ssj4 remains the limit for me is that any further would compromise one of the following hard stops/lines that i cannot cross:

1: a human face. the face needs to remain human lest i experience uncanny valley in bed. even if you go far enough away from resembling a human to avoid uncanny valley i would still refuse to kiss the face of a dog or cat in a sensual manner (albeit backshots may work for hookups that is not sustainable for a long term relationship)

2: chest free of fur/feathers/slime/rough scales (i may be able to tolerate smoother scales idk it’s hard to be sure since there’s no real examples for me to test) This is simply due to me not wanting fur in my hands when i’m grabbing titties, autistic sensory issues also play a part in this. although other parts of the body having fur is tolerable since otherwise it would just look like a baboon ridiculously contrasting its asscheeks from the rest of its body. Regardless i don’t think i could put up with feathers or amphibian slime due to texture.

3: hands & feet: a similar rule applies to the hands but not as strictly at breasts since they aren’t as soft in the first place and as such are less affected by texture. still don’t want them feathery or slimy though. i might be able to tolerate one extra/missing finger or toe but none of that ninja turtle giga finger bullshit

Size is also a limiting factor for me. personally i already don’t like women smaller than 5’5 ish on account of being 6’3 and the size difference just feels weird/ creepy to me so i imagine the same standards would apply to any irl furries. as for a maximum size id say around 10 foot (has to be built similarly to a normal sized woman just scaled up, not like real people who are that tall irl as they are usually built like slender man and i like em big, chunky, round, & plumpy). like with scaly tits this one is hard to give a definitive answer for on account of a lack of test subjects but i imagine needing a stepstool to eat a girl out would be inconvenient (much less living with/being married to her and having to have different sized absolutely everything lmao)