#parent posting

[dozen-reasons-in-this-gun]

It should be legal to kill your dad

[kunaiwithpain]

i want to post this but i dont think twitter is the place

[eggsistential-breakdown]

Okay, but hear me out -- what if his parents weren't usually red and blue?

[runawaymarbles]

the "is it ok to have sex when your kids are in the house" thing is so funny to me because like. if you have lived with both of your parents at the same time there's a 99.5% chance they have had sex while you were in the house. if you co-slept then your parents probably had sex while you were in the same bed. this is the gender neutral bathroom debate all over again.

[taffywabbit]

they should invent a new type of "staying in bed for 2-3 hours after you wake up repeatedly opening and closing apps on your phone" where it makes you feel awesome and energized and emotionally fulfilled

[fanaticalthings]

Jason Todd with his goons:

[skulltasticc]

in case there was any doubt in my dad's neurodivergency

[lesbianfiddleford]

[a-great-tragedy]

Based on what I know, I do not think Sirius and Regulus were even taught being gay was possible. I think Walburga/Orion refused to teach them it even exists. So I imagine them finding out like this:

Sirius: Yeah, if I was a girl I would probably date Remus to be honest. Such a shame it’s impossible for me to like him.

James: Impossible? What do you mean??

Sirius: Well you can only like people of the opposite gender.. right?

James: …No, you can like people of the same gender, that exists. It’s a thing.

Sirius: ( °ㅁ°)

Sirius: I must tell Reg

[lazylittledragon]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

[wanologic]

yo danny fenton he was just 19

[ghosted-jazz]

I am not immune to this car salesman fairy and his traumaised iPad kid

[lethal-spaceship]

Whoever reposts my dipcifica art to reddit please continue. Reddit cannot comprehend jokes/headcanons and I find it funny.

[demigods-posts]

headcanon that percy and annabeth have a relationship contract they made after they got together once the war came to pass. they outlined it on paper in percy's bedroom. typed up a final draft using sally's laptop. and printed out and laminated it at the local library on their two month anniversary. and they abide by it like it's the law.

[pansy-picnics]

“gay son or thot daughter,” you start to ask, but you can’t even finish your sentence because cosmo and wanda heard “gay son” and immediately started cheering and clapping

[hesztia16]

*Wayne Manor, Family dinner*

*Barbara’s phone rings*

*she leaves and comes back a few minutes later, expression solemn*

Dick: what happened

Barbara: the Joker is dead

Jason: *shocked silence*

Tim: *shocked silence*

Damian: *shocked silence*

Alfred: *shocked silence*

Like a dozen other more: *shocked silence*

Bruce: *leaves the room*

Dick: Bruce!

Alfred: Master Bruce what-

Jason: *looks away, clenching his fist*

Bruce: *returns, with a bottle of champagne*

Again: *shocked silence*

Tim: why’s there a note on that saying: “For when the Joker dies”?

Bruce: it was a gag gift from Harvey when he was… you know, less murderous

*not so shocked, more of a hesitant silence*

Jason: *stands* pop it open, old man. I’m bringing the glasses

Alfred: the help is much appreciated, Master Jason

Steph: how did he die?

Barbara, a little confused: my dad said something along the lines of… a bunch of fans manifesting it after the writers were cowards for too long?