#pancake humor

[what-marsha-eats]

[retrogamingblog2]

[grickle14]

Tasty.

[starry-bi-sky]

*points at bruce and danny in 'late at night when the nightingale sings'* THESE TWO MFERS MEAN SO MUCH TO MEEEE

no thoughts head empty just these two socially inept fools finding family in one another. like yes you go you funky little death omens stole that one from a comment on the fic, so if you see this you know who you are, discover that family isn't only tied in blood.

bUT onto less mushy stuff: these two being shenaniganizers; tomfools. Bruce realized that Danny didn't actually know he was Bruce Wayne and instead of going "oh actually im bruce wayne" he went; "hrm... how long can i keep this going until he realizes...."

like. i think they deserve to be the sillies. just utter goobers the both of them. like, danny makes the wittiest side comments, dry quips, under his breath towards Bruce while they're out in public (Danny covering his face with a face mask) and Bruce is trying not to laugh. Meanwhile if Bruce makes one sly comment about someone to Danny, Danny's gonna collapse with laughter.

Bruce plays straightman in most of their bits, he has the best fucking poker face. But also I firmly believe he does actually enjoy Danny's puns. Look me in the eyes- look me in the eyes. Try and tell me that a man that willingly agrees to call a car "the batmobile" even after his eight year old ward grows up (thus negating the need to go along with his antics) doesn't enjoy a good, well-placed pun. Look me in the eyes and try to tell me that. That's right you can't.

He's gonna spit out a well-placed pun in the driest, most boring Batman Voice Ever one day while he's getting ready for patrol, and Danny's gonna fucking die of laughter. He's gonna lose his mind. Bruce is going to have a half-dead sickly teenager laughing his lungs out in the chair. That's a new core memory right there, every time Danny thinks about that he's gonna start giggling.

just!!! these two making each other laugh! That's so important to me. So so much. I nEED Danny to get Bruce to smile and laugh and I need Bruce to make Danny do the same. Danny's all snark and sass and Bruce is all deadpan and dry quips. Do you all see my vision.

[lgbtqtext]

Requested by rammington

[beauty-funny-trippy]

[olailamajnoon]

Bruce and Zatanna were making pancakes in the early morning. The sun was shining through the windows of the cabin in the woods. It was an idyllic day, not to be spoiled by anything.

But everything good was meant to go bad, Zatanna reflected, as Bruce studied her pancake-making technique closely. 

“That’s your OCD talking, not you,” Zatanna said, when Bruce objected that she had poured out half the batter into one pancake. The man was seeming closer to an aneurysm than she had ever seen him. 

“That’s…not the way,” Bruce choked, when Zatanna poured out the rest of the batter wholesale into the second pan. “You’re supposed to spread the damn….oh for the love of Christ.” He turned off the gas. “We’re not making cake, Zatanna. That batter could have made twenty pancakes. Twenty!” A vein was standing out of Bruce’s temple, pulsing. Zatanna looked at it interestedly. 

“I am so happy you’re not a Robin,” Bruce finished scathingly. “Or I would be dead of a stress headache by now.”

Zatanna swallowed, tears coming to her eyes. “Bruce, it is not an accident, or a freak of design, what I did,” she said, pointing to the obese pancake sitting in the pan. “God made this pancake. Through me.”

Bruce glared silently at Zatanna’s Frankenstein’s monster of a pancake, as if its very existence was a challenge to him. “Then eat it. Eat the divine pancake.” He emptied it into a plate and shoved it into Zatanna’s face. “Eat it!”

“Are you…quite okay?” Zatanna asked, concerned at last. Bruce was massaging his temples with his fingers, making circles. 

“No,” he said quietly. “And  I don’t think I will ever be. You’ve driven me to the edge of sanity. First the invisible spirit car, and now—” He grabbed Zatanna by her pigtails, just hard enough to make her yelp, and swung her around. “Listen to me,” he hissed, holding up a finger. “You are an abomination. An abomination.”

“I know,” she said cheekily. She stared at the aspirational pancake like it might reveal the secrets of the universe. Then, with the solemnity of a high priestess, she took a bite.

“Oh God, that’s bad,” she choked, fanning her mouth. “It’s so, so bad.”

She looked up at Bruce in silent appeal, offering him the plate.

“Good,�� said Bruce, and he pushed the plate at her. “Now finish the rest.” A dark undertone had crept into his voice. He crossed his arms and smiled. It was a sinister, nefarious, hideous, malevolent smile, and it suited Bruce perfectly.

"No," Zatanna whispered, horrified at the change in Bruce's demeanour. "No. It's finally happened." She moved backwards. "You've cracked. I knew this day would come, I just didn’t think it would be today." She looked down, as if forgetting what she was holding. "And...over pancakes?"

"The universe," said Bruce, "is going to be my playground." He was still wearing that strange smile. It was like watching the face of a Darth. He didn't cackle evilly. He didn't need to.

Zatanna shovelled more pancake into her mouth. "Oh fuck this sucks," she said, referring more to the food than to Evil Bruce, although that sucked too.

She was already rearranging in her head how she would explain this entire situation to Clark. "Yes, Bruce had a mental breakdown. Yes, it was because of pancakes. No it was not because of me. What are you implying?"

She sighed, and offered Evil Bruce some pancake. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Suck my dick."

"Okay, but only after this." She frowned at him. "How is it that becoming evil has somehow made you hotter?"

"That sounds like a you problem."

[misforgotten2]

Attempting to make hot cakes with Albers Flapjack Pancake and Waffle mix will only end in tears and incrimination.

Look - November 11th 1961

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[thatsbelievable]

Get The Monstrous Adventures of Mummy Man and Waffles HERE!

Or order a copy signed by the author (me!) from Books of Wonder, HERE!

[depressedcatgirl2210]

frfr

[what-marsha-eats]

[da-real-god]

[captain29thegamer]

Debate time! After a fight would you want Jambalaya or Pancakes?🥰 🍲 🥞

[zero13-constantine]

My contribution to the Epic the Musical Fandom.

[lgbtqtext]