#pain I can handle but it’s .i
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#I was gonna say something quippy but dang my brain just fried#I haaaaaate my period#pain I can handle but it’s .i#like I turned 30 and suddenly it decides#no more bad physical pain just Rolling Emotions like a 1950s bad joke stereotype#and brain fog and fatigue#no pain to get to complain about though after the first few hours#only your brain giving up on you and your emotions betraying you#and like#I shouldn’t complain cuz no pain you know?#but it’s like pain I can compartmentalize but the dang crying#uuughhhhh#ok silly rant over
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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Color! Composition still wonky, but this was done mainly to see how I liked the colors and such. I can reposition and resize birds/leaves/etc another time. And get a decent proper hexagon drawn up.
This has been an exercise in not letting perfection hold me back. I have to start getting back into art somehow, right?
#traditional media#colored pencil#avian#blue jay#Baltimore oriole#bird#wings#sketchbook#personal work#color study#green ash#red oak#im sure I’ll get fussy over the poses of both birds and branches before long#probably won’t work as a tattoo sleeve like I intended but I can always take it in for a consultation#as soon as I find out who I want to do it and if I can even handle the pain and all that#should dig up my loon one first because that will be slightly easier to endure#if I were smart I’d get a small tattoo first#probably a rusty patched bumble bee on aster let’s be honest#this would cost too much money to have done who am I kidding
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nightmare viewing the murder time three as little toys but more in like a little spoiled kid kinda way. because it would be funny and if you take into the account that he was like 6 before getting corrupted and do some mental loopholes it would be even funnier. like these are his dolls (killer dust and horror) and this is their barbie dreamhouse (his castle). they all have to stay in one room because nightmare needs to keep his toys in a toy box. the toys only ever come out when he wants to play but oh damn it they keep on breaking out!! silly toys,,, and then he locks them into the room again.
nightmare serves them food with plastic tea cups and plastic plates and there is no food. there is no tea. they have to imagine the food because dolls can't literally eat. there are food containers and stuff in the house but its all just a bunch of empty boxes. horror starts tweaking out after he scavenges the kitchen and finds a cereal box and milk carton that have NOTHING in it (why keep empty boxes?????)
they have to go where he wants them to go. nightmare gets to dress them up in whatever he wants because theyre his dolls they can wear anything he wants. it gets incredibly embarrassing when the trio is forced to wear pink pretty dresses and fight like that. or they have to go around the castle doing stupid fucking roleplays and it gets weird because theyre being forced to reenact a bullying scene and nightmare's giving them the death stare if they don't get it right (is this projection. this must be some form of coping mechanism dust theorizes)
and then you know nightmare's not exactly the best toy owner so he loses a few of his dolls here and there. maybe they get destroyed when he was playing a bit too rough with them! (killer dies in battle for like the 29th time) but its okay because he can just go back on down to the store (something new) and buy. wait no. steal another doll and then put it back in his dreamhouse and BOOM he has a full set again!! so sweet so cute. his dolls don't have consciousness what are you talking about theyre begging to be let go?? that's all just your imagination. what do you mean you're asking about the several slowly dying bodies with removed arms or legs in his dungeon. oh that's just where the broken but not yet destroyed toys go dw theyre fine its humane
#toy story but evil#imagine nightmare dresses the trio up in dreamtale esque clothes and then forces them to pretend to be his parents#because the stupid shit grew up parentless and now that he has dolls he can just roleplay that now#or he could just make the trio roleplay as a family. one parent two children. huh i wonder where i've heard this before#he's still like totally smart with all the multiversal plans and conquering and manipulation and all that#just that he's still got a bit of childish charm in him yk.🥺🥺🥺 he's sweet and cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺#killer says as he tries not to go insane from being stuck in a room with dust amd horror for weeks on end#nightmare has no sense of boundary for the trio because theyre just little toys for him#if he wants them to change clothes he strips them because dolls cant change by themselves#if he wants them to move a specific way he maneuvers them because dolls cant movs on their own#nightmare's messing around and has all his dolls in the splits because who hasnt done that#dust and horror are in so much pain. killer just feels humiliated#these are GROWN MEN you are objectifying here nightmare. LITERALLY objectifying. but irs okay its funny#dadmare but instead of nightmare being the dad he's the kid. while also simultaneously having all the power#this would go for a sick ass plotline if someone made a fic for it#it aint gonna be me 🤣🤣 but like.... trio has to convince nightmare to stop treating them like goddamn dolls#and nightmare has to change his stupid little kiddy mentality while also they all have to just get on better terms in general#so stupidn so dumb. would the mtt hate eachother during all this. quite possibly#three crazy freaks trapped in one room for unknown amounts of time. homoerotic arguments must have occured#they must know stuff about eachother that they don't wanna know. they all know what they look like naked#nightmare is the leading cause of mtt deaths because he just doesn't know how to properly handle his toys#oops he says as he accidentally breaks horror's neck and dust and killer watch on. guess its time to get a new one!#and he gleefully skips off to horrortale while dust and killer are left with the dusting beheaded body. what a fun time#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#tricule rant
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I love my girl Miwa but as soon as I read that this image immediately popped up in my head:
#HAVE SOME STANDARDS GIRL DAMN#i want this relationship to work out too but this aint it#how do we relationship#cine te a intrebat#uhmmm theres SPOILERS past this tag in case u care to read this yourself just a quick warning#i kid i joke but this scene fucks me up i like how this manga handles queerness. it shows how messy and painful it can be#like we already got a bit of that with sae and her relationship with sex but this mmmmmm this one i didnt see coming#imagine u work up the courage to confess to ur high school crush and she says she cant date you#not cause she doesnt like you. quite literally /because/ she likes you and wants to take ur relationship seriously and respect you#but she cant do that. because shes afraid of people finding out. of having to hide all the time. of being ostracised. she's tired.#she cant find the strength to do that.#the frustration of being loved but society denying you the possibility of being together... ill clown on Miwa (its very easy) but i feel bad#for her#gaud i need to sleep hai pa
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Do Cadence or Twilight ever regret not being able to gift Shining Armor with ascension like them or are they happy he was able to live out his normal life without becoming a god?
Not everyone is mentally suited to immortality. And this time, they actually asked first instead of doing an immortality jumpscare.
Cadance and Twilight didn't get a choice. Ascension was thrust upon them by Celestia. They had to come to terms with it after the fact, realizing they would outlive all their friends and have the responsibility of an entire force of nature in their hooves. They would watch countries rise and fall, see extinctions and new ways of living. Strange technology and customs, and slowly feel their life elongating until it was beyond mortal comprehension. An alicorn has to be ok with this. And alicorn should want this. It's a gift as much as a curse.
Shining Armor cares about the ponies in his life. He knows they will miss him, he will miss them as well. But he wants to stay among his friends, his parents, and his kingdom.
Shining armor said no. He said I have served Equestria my entire life, and one day I will rest.
His family is made of immortal mares. They could force it upon him to ease their own hearts, to prevent their own grief... But they won't. Love and friendship know more about being a person than the Sun.
It is his choice. He will not be the God Prince of Protection. He will simply be Shining Armor, and consider his life well lived.
#ask#skyscraper gods#skyscraper gods lore#ssg shining armor#ssg alicorns#most people I ask say they wouldnt choose to be immortal#im one of the only people i know who says I can handle it#and i would want it#its about knowing if you can find the joy in newness enough to burden yourself with the pain of loss#including loss of yourself
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"Moiraine Damodred..." "No, if you have ever loved me, don't do this." "I command you to close the Waygate."
#wot show spoilers#wotedit#the wheel of time#siuan sanche#moiraine damodred#wot season 2 spoilers#wot s2 spoilers#wheel of time s2 spoilers#wheel of time season 2 spoilers#wot book spoilers#new spring#I have much to say about that but hey let's focus on mindless pain#that was ooof#I'll only say this: if Moiraine can mess up like she did during an entire season the fandom can handle Siuan messing up for one episode#I could not stop thinking about that quote from New Spring and how unnatural Moiraine's movements looked in that scene#and oh boy Lan telling Moiraine that if she trusted one person it should be Siuan#to be clear Siuan only did what Moiraine would have done in her place with the information she was given#(now why did she get only that information is another subject)#Siuan only Moirained Moiraine#but yeah bordel I'm still processing#I'm still very confused about certain details that make me wonder if there isn't more to this scene we're not getting yet#but I might just be fooling myself#denial is a river etc#Mygifs#Mine: wot
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This isn't whump but I had a thought on the way to work about mtt poly + crepic, what if they were all competing for Cross's affection but it's not in a "I'm better you should love me instead of him" way, it's all a big excuse to spoil and fluster Cross as much as they can and they're all in on it
OH MY GOD YES. after being deprived of affection his whole life cross now has 4 boyfriends who love him very much and that’s perfect for him. he deserves it..!!!!!!
cross absolutely freaked out when it first started and he has not gotten any less flustered over the months. because he’s been wrapped up in self loathing for AGES and now all of a sudden there’s four different people flirting with him? his face is like a goddamn grape half the time because of them. they gift give cross a lot,, he deserves to be spoiled by them i think bc we all know his dad never did. he deserves lots of physical touch and quality time too methinks…..
i like them a lot sighs,, i think epic and the mtt have way too much chemistry too which is what spurred this ship on in my mind (and im a fan of mtt poly too,,) I think they should all date and be happy and get to comfort each other through tough times idk
bonus though if there’s some actual rivalry at first even if only for a little. either between all of them or the mtt and epic because they don’t know each other well. epic could think they have bad intentions and doesn’t trust them bc they’re literal murderers and the mtt isn’t fond of an ‘outsider’ being so involved in cross’ life when he’s very able to tattle on them because he lives in the OT.
and then they go “wait. okay you’re lowk kinda hot. what about this. you know what would be infinitely funnier? let’s tag team him” and now cross is their no.1 victim. he’s obliterated any time he enters a room.
i like to think they’d take him on dates he doesn’t realize are dates. but they think he knows it’s a date (i mean, who takes their coworker/best buddy to a nice dinner, drive in movie theatre, and end the day with a bouquet of flowers platonically??). or rather he thinks he’s overthinking everything and taking things the wrong way because his skull is thick as shit.
meanwhile nightmare is aroace and wondering why the fuck everyone is so happy and distracted as of late. please get back to work im begigng you. WHY do i find you all sleeping in the same bed?? .WHY IS EPIC IN THAT BED??? HE DOESNT EVEN LIVE HERE???????? (he’s just subtly moving in at this point)
#cross sans#epic sans#murder time trio#horror sans#killer sans#dust sans#mtt + crepic#mtt + crepic poly#sanscest#sanshipping#utmv#undertale#they’re a painful rarepair#I’ve seen one fic with them out there but it involves nm which I can handle but it wasn’t. written the best#like it was okay at first but as time went on it got more convoluted and confusing#and I think we really lost track of what the fic was even supposed to be about#also it mischaracterized dream into a raging sexist 😭 (horror too??)#like what…#finished it out of desperation but it’s not something id ever really read again
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That moment when you realize the people interrogating you are very bad at it.
And here's the weekly reminder to go read A Dark Among the Lights by LuckyLectio on AO3! My phone's auto predictions can almost write out that entire sentence without prompting by now XD
Alt. version under the cut since I couldn't decide which I liked better.
#my art#dark link#lu warriors#adatl#shoutout to anyone that knows the movie being referenced#not gonna lie it's refreshing to finish a drawing so relatively quickly compared to last week's odyssey#no idea how comic arts can handle drawing so many group shots#maybe they get used to it??#anyway this chapter was very fun to read#it's fun to have all the heroes more or less present#though i bet it's probably a pain in the ass to write XD#the snarky comments will be glorious!
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I keep thinking about how Ashton’s been acting lately and I coming back to them saying that they’ve earned “a minor sense of superiority” for all they’ve been through in their life and then how through a lot of what they said after that demonstrates that that sense of superiority goes far beyond being minor. Especially the way they laughed and said “who else?” when the Hells asked themselves if they should really be the ones deciding if the balance of the world should be upended and remade. It carried a lot less of a “well who else is going to do it?” energy that I think it might’ve once carried, the sort of thing the Nein might say, and instead felt more like a “you really want anyone else but us choosing that?”, which aligns with the wildly out-of-hand way they were behaving in the council meeting. They really seem to be placing themself above everyone that was in that council room, especially with how they repeatedly said that all of those delegates are stupid and blind and so on, particularly those who answer to divine powers (I cannot remember if Ashton directly said that last night, but I feel like it would align with what they did say even if they didn’t put it that clearly).
What makes that very interesting to me is that Ashton is also a vessel for a higher power now, a power that—from the way they seem to be looking at things—is grander and older and more powerful than the gods themselves; a titan. They may not answer to Rau’shan, but they channel her power just as surely as any cleric or paladin might channel their deity’s powers. Which is a little hypocritical, but that’s not my point.
I keep wondering that if maybe, probably on a subconscious level, that connection to an older power than the gods is fueling Ashton’s sense of superiority over the gods and those who follow them.
#I don’t have a clean conclusion to this I just ended up rambling againnnnnn#but yeah I’m like. if the gods were gone and Exandria somehow survived#and divine magic was wiped from the world#ashton would still have their powers#because they’re a vessel for two beings actually that are older than the gods#rau’shan and the Luxon#but I only mentioned the Titan stuff in the post bc they don’t know shit abt the Luxon right now beyond what Essek and Leylas have said#whereas they have a lot more info about the Titans to fuel this infuriating superiority complex#don’t get me wrong I’ve loved Ashton from the moment they were introduced#but I am so frustrated with how they’ve been behaving#the shouting during the council meeting was… painful#bestie you’ve got a charisma score of 6 pls let the charisma casters handle this#and also Orym. let the talkers and the level headed one handle it#you can argue with them later while you make out#critical role#cr spoilers#ashton greymoore#Quinn metas#cr meta
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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Sometimes I just wanna talk about old man! Logan and Laura and Charles all being a family unit living on a nice ranch somewhere in the country and the reader is Logan’s wifey and they’re all happy BECAUSE ITS WHAT THEY FUCKING DESERVE!
Reader is the mom that steps up, treats Laura as her own daughter and they’re both close and love each other. The reader takes care of Laura, guards her with her life the same way her daddy does, and Charles tells them of the stories about the X-Men and he’s essentially the grandpa of the family and he talks to Laura all the time too. Logan is at peace and he isn’t sick and he continues to live with the new family he’s made and maybe eventually he gets to have another addition to the family as a surprise. I WANT THEM HAPPY OKAY! ITS WHAT I WANT FOR THEM! IN MY WORLD NOBODY FUCKING DIES AND THE OG LOGAN AND LAURA HAVE THE FATHER/DAUGHTER DYNAMIC THEY DESERVE!
#logan howlett#old man! logan#logan howlett imagine#wolverine imagine#idk if I’ve talked about this before but idc!#as you can see#I feel very passionately about this#bye they mean so much to me I cry#maybe I’ll write a fic idk#I might have to watch Logan (2017) for it tho#but I refuse!#I can’t handle the pain
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You ever think about how in spite of knowing their exact locations, the game never gives any indication that templar Carver has reported his mage sibling, Merril (a blood mage) or Anders (an abomination) to his superiors?
I do think about that a lot, even though I tend to ignore the Templar Carver route because I know Warden Carver to be true in my heart and soul... but I totally get the appeal of Templar Carver within DA2's narrative, y'know?
It's so fascinating, really. I've never played a run with Templar Carver, I just can't bring myself to do it, so I know I'm missing out on smaller details of it. From what I do know, this drives me crazy in the best way possible.
Deciding whether to bring him or not to the Deep Roads is such an important choice, not only because it affects his fate, but how it affects his relationship to Hawke. He tells you that he wants to go, he makes it very clear that it's important to him that he goes, too... and Hawke can just leave him behind and it hurts him. I don't think that registers enough with some people just because of how Carver is, like it doesn't matter what Hawke's motivations are [staying behind for his safety, not wanting to bring him, thinking someone should stay with Leandra, etc] it still hurts him because it tells him that Hawke doesn't need him, and Carver wants to be needed.
And yes, there are other contributing factors to why he joins the templars, but it doesn't matter what your relationship is to him, it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't turn Hawke or his companions in.
Sure, the meta reason is it's a video game and you're playing the main character. You're never in any actual danger of being captured by templars, and you're not going to lose your companions to them that easy.
But if we look at it through the narrative and Carver's character, that's when it gets interesting. You can max out his rivalry and be an utter asshole to him [there's a point where you can call him a brat and mock him for being stuck in your shadow, like Hawke can be real cruel about it] but it doesn't matter, you're still his sibling. He even makes a remark about how you might not know what that means [referring to leaving him behind] but he does. He refuses to kill Hawke in the end when Meredith makes the order, too.
Which can I just point out that Hawke has the option to let Bethany die in the end if she's with the circle and they side with the templars? Just saying, Carver NEVER does that no matter what, but Hawke has the option to betray Bethany like that and it's fucked and interesting and it makes me want to eat my chair-
As for Merrill and Anders, I think he knows that if he turns either of them in, then the chances of Hawke being brought in as well skyrocket. They're all friends, they're in the same group... bring one in, and you'll probably get the other two.
I also think Carver just genuinely likes Merrill. Yes, I'm a Carver/Merrill shipper, so I have a bias, but even if you remove anything romantic from their dynamic I believe that's true. Of all the companions, Merrill is the only one who doesn't make fun of him, or find him annoying, in party banters. He never snaps back at her, like he's never defensive with her, he's just a little awkward and nice.
Like, HE'S SO NICE TO HER! He tries to find common ground with her! She asks him about "swording" and he's taken aback by her saying he's good at it, but you KNOW that if someone like Anders asked him the same question, he's be all, "shut up, you're stupid, stop talking to me >:["
Think back to that banter Carver can have with Aveline post-act 1 where they're talking about how the guard wasn't the right place for him [hard disagree with you there, Aveline] and Carver says he was a bit of a tit, wasn't he.... and every companion will agree except Merrill. She doesn't say anything, whereas other companions like Anders will be like "ugh maker YES" and if you have a purple Hawke, they'll go on to other ways Carver was a tit like?? I think Carver and Merrill got along and he doesn't want to turn her in because she was nice to him! And she's a blood mage! He knows what will happen to her if the templars get ahold of her! He doesn't want to see her made tranquil or killed!
At that point, he's witnessed what bad blood mages can do, assuming you've brought him along for those quests, but even so. He knows Merrill isn't like that and he likes her, so of course he's not going to turn her in despite that being his literal duty.
Then there's Anders who Carver doesn't like. If you're in a romance with him, Carver will tell him that's why he doesn't turn him in but c'mon Carver, you know that's not the only reason. My theory is Carver may not like Anders and he knows the man's got a spirit of justice inside of him... but Anders also runs a free clinic. If he's ever taken in by templars, then so many people [including a LOT of Fereldan refugees] will be without free health care and will suffer for it. I think in Carver's eyes, Anders might be irritating but he doesn't more good than harm. Carver knows first hand how shitty refugees and poorer people are treated in Kirkwall. Anders' clinic is the one place they can go for help and actually get it, and he's not going to be the one to take that away because the templars say "magic bad."
So yeah, I'm not as informed about the Templar Carver route, but I do think about how if I did do that route, he wouldn't betray Hawke or their companions no matter what and what that says about him.
#asks#dragon age 2#da2#carver hawke#da2 merrill#da2 anders#listen i love carver hawke okay he and bethany are my favorite companions in da2#i could talk endlessly about the twins and their roles in story and how unfair it is that only one of them can make it to kirkwall#meaning we hardly get to see them interact with each other before one dies and UGH#like i get it their stories rely heavily on them being the only mage or non-mage in the sibling trio so both of them living#would've meant writing two different origins stories for them with different attitudes affected by having another siblings that like them#but also i think if hawke's a rogue then leandra should've died and we could've worked it out okay#ANYWAY... templar carver amirite? i know i should go that route just to say i have and to see it for myself but hhhnnnggggg...#it physically pains me to think of not bringing him to the deep roads though it's so important to him and my hawke works so hard#to repair his relationship with his brother okay i max out carver's friendship every time and it's so worth it#you don't understand okay friendship carver is the best he's so goddamn sweet i can't handle it#it's actually so interesting how bethany and carver start out versus how they end because bethany starts out as the super sweet one#whereas carver's surly and bitter... but past act 1? it's like they flip?? at least on the warden paths like bethany is BRUTAL#she's so fucking bitter and rude and I love it?? like her relationship with hawke is in the trenches whereas carver's is vastly improved#again no matter your approval with him when you reunite in act 2 he will ALWAYS tell hawke that 'i'm sure you did your best'#referring to leandra's death but bethany's response will change depending on your approval with her#and if i remember right the rivalry response is OOF#carver and bethany turn me into a little giggling gremlin i love them so much
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Got called ableist for calling an abled “abled”, you know— what they actually are
Ableds are so weak and feel threatened all the time by disabled people even though they devalue and dehumanize us and I am 100% convinced that they wouldn’t last a second with actual genuine ableism and the physical or verbal assault that follows it. all they care about is how their poor abled feelings get broken so easily that they literally might as well be my knees at that point bc they just whine and bitch about anything that has to do with disabled people and especially cripples and they’re never happy with a disabled person living their lives
If you’re not physically disabled, you are abled. Period.
#personal#Im heated#whiny little bitch#how many of y’all can fit in that god damn clown car#you’re literally so weak and I guarantee you couldn’t handle it#I hate ableds#“but I’m neurodivergent” AM I TALKING ABOUT YOU?#ableism#cripple punk#every little thing we do is criticized by them#disabled#chronic pain#chronic illness
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I forget who in bookclub mentioned this (pls call yourself out and I'll @ you with credit in this post), but someone pointed out that we don't know if anyone knows what Meryl went through. What she knows. Wolfwood has a conversation with her earlier, but it's just about what Vash is, probably clueless as to their shared memories. Vash doesn't give any hints he has any idea what she's witnessed--he's so fearful of what he is and what he's capable of, it's possible he doesn't know what his powers are. Eventually, at the very earliest, it's seven months from now before we see her admit aloud what she's seen. And, hell. With how much Wolfwood and Vash tuck away and don't talk about, why would she feel like she could talk about it?
And yet, despite all that. Despite having trauma unlike anything she's ever known in her life before. Despite having trauma that no human should have to bear. Despite not being sure what to even do with that, with herself, with Vash (who she's seen witness and commit unspeakable horrors!). She still chooses kindness. She still chooses love and peace. She still chooses Vash.
We see a lot of people handle their trauma in really shitty ways in this story; in many ways, it's a story deeply about trauma. And Meryl, isolated and afraid and with this pain fresh within her, doesn't turn away from what she knows is good and worth saving on this hellhole planet. And, idk, I think that's beautiful, and I love her for it.
#Trigun#TrigunBookclub#Trigun Meta#Listen the jokes about being traumatized by chicken Vash are HILARIOUS#But my girl is handling this so well considering#And beautifully#She shouldn't HAVE to bear it#But she shows that you CAN#Regardless of whether you deserve what happened to you (no one ever does)#And how much fear and pain comes with it#I feel like the magnitude of this was lost on my first readthrough#And it's not perfect#BUT#I SAID WHAT I SAID AND I MEANT IT
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well what family doesn't keep a secret vampire family member hidden deep in in the basement /s
EDIT: Rest of the comic is now under the cut!
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BONUS:
#first fullpage comic in my new sketchbook woooo 🎉#poor rune. accidentally hibernated for 20 years and he didn't even do it on purpose.#you can tell by the fact that he went to nap in his freakin pajamas#as you do when you go to sleep#but then this time he just. didn't wake up. and his family assumed it was on purpose. so they just let him???#oops?????#yes munch is a surname that's been used in norway - especially in towns that had historically had contact with german merchants. fun fact#so while his dad was originally literally a windenburg townie from the sims 4... it still works#oh yeah the way i am handling language in this comic. do keep in mind it is set in norway and the canon language is actually norwegian#so while any dialog usually gets masked with english so you may actually understand wtf people are saying#text on objects do not get translated. because they're a part of the world and stuff. it's the way people see them. that makes sense right#(don't even get me started on my complex relationship with written norwegian. long story short: it is a pain)#EDIT: now with the full comic under the readmore
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