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hellfirehaley · 2 years ago

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Strange Love Chapter Nine

CW/Trigger Warnings: THIS CHAPTER FEATURES A DEPICTION OF A SCENE OF A GIRL BEING ROOFIED. IF THIS CONTENT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS CHAPTER. Mentions of vomit, coarse language, underage drinking, marijuana usage, alluding to a scene of being roofied.

AN: So a bit about this week's chapter: its theme are a little harsh. It alludes to a compromising and real situation that happens to women all over the place to this day and part of the reason I decided to write this chapter is because this week of posting will be the sixth anniversary of my own assault. I wrote this chapter as a writing exercise to help escape from the nasty, negative, gross feelings I usually feel this time of year. If this is something you aren't comfortable reading, please feel free to skip the chapter because I don't want ANYONE to trigger themselves for the sake of a fanfiction.

With that being said, I promise I am going to be handling this delicate topic with as much care and sensitivity as possible. Thank you in advance. if you liked the previous chapters or this one, please feel free to like or comment or reblog it. I also have a taglist so I can keep you up to date on the current chapters when they are posted.

Songs Referenced: Brighton Rock and Killer Queen by Queen, Take On Me by A-Ha, Peaceful Easy Feeling by The Eagles.

Word Count: 4451

Shoutout to my babies @sunflowerharrington for helping me come up with the opening to this scene and @mvnsoneddie86 for helping me come up with the costume for Eddie this chapter. I was seriously stuck on that what to do and you saved my ass Kayla.

Masterlist: https://at.tumblr.com/hellfirehaley/strange-love-an-eddie-fic-chapter-one/qglrwxp3y002

Chapter Nine: The Party

Friday October 11, 1985

Homecoming came quicker than expected and the entire school was beaming with school pride: everyone was wearing their Hawkins shirts or their green shirts. The girls had all green and gold accessories and makeup on today. And all the extra effort was worth it because the best part is we won! 28-21. You were waiting on Robin and Ali to finish getting ready since you decided to wear a simple costume this year since it’s not even Halloween yet. You were wearing a slinky black dress, black stockings and heels with an old witch’s hat from a number of Halloweens ago. Ali and Robin were going as Claire and Allison from The Breakfast Club so they were layering their outfits while you started on makeup.

“So predictions on who is gonna hook up with whom?” you ask, looking in the mirror while you apply eyeshadow. The music in the background was fast and upbeat, Ali having chosen the I Love Rock and Roll album.

“Well John from French class was eying Madeline so I bet he makes a move tonight.” Ali noted as she adjusted her ankle length brown skirt.

“Blonde haired John or Soccer team John?” Robin asked.

“Blonde John,” Ali says.

“No shit!” you and Robin say.

“Saw it while they were conjugating verbs last Tuesday.” Ali said

“I think that Ben from Chem will finally ask out Samantha Greer.” Robin said.

“The choir girl?” you ask.

“Yep.” Robin said.

“Oh they’d be cute together,” you say.

“You know who else would be cute together? You and Eddie Munson.” Ali said.

“Oh my god yes. The King and Queen of The Freaks,” Robin said, spreading her hands out like she was announcing a movie pitch.

“You’re relentless, you two.” you say.

“And you’re an idiot who can’t see the obvious thing right in front of her!” Ali retorts, putting in her earrings.

“We’re friends!” you try.

“Who are totally into each other. Face it: he’s your Steve and you’re acting like Ali.” Robin said.

“Ouch!” Ali said, hitting Robin lightly.

“But you see my point?” Robin asks

“I suppose so but I barely know him,” you say.

“Get to know him then!” Ali said.

“I have been getting to know him or trying to but okay fine: I do like Eddie but I have to make sure, without a doubt, that he’s gonna be one that stays” you say.

“I get that. How can we help?” Ali asked as she adjusted her pink blouse.

“Just promise me not to let me get so wrapped up in him that I end up looking like a fool.” you ask.

“Of course dear,” Ali said.

“We’ve got you honey,” Robin said. You finish getting ready, deciding on a dark eye look for the night hoping to come off as mysterious.and witchy. Robin looked adorable in her black cardigan and skirt with black converse: the ultimate comfy and cute look. Ali was working on her makeup at the moment since she just needed to put on her slouchy brown boots.

“Five bucks says Eddie is gonna steal Y/N away tonight at some point.” Robin says.

“You’re making a pointless bet: I’m gonna see him at some point anyways since he was the first one to invite me to this party,” you point out as you go through Ali’s albums before deciding on Queen’s Sheer Heart Attack album. The whimsical opening sounds of Brighton Rock blasting through her speakers.

“I give it an hour,” Ali said, holding out her hand.

“I give her 30 minutes,” Robin countered, shaking on their bet. You rolled your eyes as you got down on the bed again, laying down while you waited for them, singing along to each track. The girls joined in on a rendition of Killer Queen as they finished their makeup.

“Alright we ready?” Robin asked as she grabbed her car keys. Ali was pulled on her boots and nodded at Robin.

“I’m good,” you say. Once Ali had her boots on and everything was situated, you three headed out the door and into the car. You sat in the back and they took the front seats. Robin turned on the car and Madonna was blasting through the car as you girls started to sing along. The drive was supposed to be only 15 minutes so it wasn’t too bad.

“So is your boyfriend gonna make an appearance tonight?” you ask.

“Yes he;s gonna meet us there just in case we get too drunk to drive.” Ali said.

“Aww what a sweet Mother Goose he is,” you say with a laugh.

“He is really sweet.” Ali agreed.

“I’m really happy for you Als. Like seriously.” you say earnestly.

“Thanks Y/N. You know we want that for you too right?” Ali said with the same amount of conviction in her voice.

“I know.” you say with a soft smile in the darkness. You arrive at where you suspect the party is based on the music and how many cars are parked down the street. You park a ways down and note how many people are here.

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” you ask as you are walking up to the house, nerves getting the best of you.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” Ali asked.

“Yeah Y/N. It's gonna be fun. Just us, some shots, dancing, seeing our friends. I promise it’ll be fun.” Robin said.

“You’re right; I’m just being paranoid for some reason.” you admit as you walk up the entryway to the house. Ali opens the doors and the house is packed with people all in costume. A lot of people were dressed as Greeks, movie characters or just dressed in their sports outfits. You smiled at how they decorated the place with black and orange streamers and a fog machine but also had a banner in big bold letters saying CONGRATULATIONS TIGERS! WAY TO GO!

You three immediately made a beeline for the kitchen, making a human chain to ensure not losing each other. Once you get to the kitchen and find bottles of booze just lined up along the kitchen counter. Ali takes some shot glasses and washes them out before pouring up some shots. You clinked glasses and drank down the clear, fiery liquid.

“Another?” Robin asked.

“Another.” you say smiling as she pours up the shots. You down them in a quick procession, grimacing as the liquor goes down your throat.

“Do you want to dance?” Robin asked.

“I wanna make a drink first,” Ali said, already having a bottle of rum in her hand already.

“Make me one too?” you ask. Ali nods as she pour rum and New Coke into a pair of glasses. She handed you yours and cheers-ed before taking a big drink and going to the “dance floor” in the living room. The group was dancing to Take On Me by A-ha, having the time of your lives. You hadn’t been to a party since last year so it was absolutely thrilling to let loose and have a good time. The song ended and changed to a Michael Jackson song.

“Hey I just saw Vickie walk in. I’m gonna go talk to her for a bit. Are you gonna be okay?” Robin asked, pointing in her direction. You nodded and smiled at her with a thumbs up. Ali soon followed her after dancing to a few more songs, seeing Steve show up. Duran Duran started playing and you smiled, taking a drink out of your cup while you swayed to the beat and moved your hips and arms. You finally felt free again and you loved it.

Until you feel a pair of unfamiliar hands place themselves on your waist.

“Hey there, sexy . Can I have this dance?” a voice said from behind you. You tense up a little bit and immediately feel anxious since you didn’t know the guy.

“Umm…”

“Oh come on, Miss Witch. I just helped carry home a win for us. Least you owe me is a dance,” he said in your ear. You shivered out of uncertainty.

“Fine.” you say, unsure of what would happen if you didn’t. The entire time, his grip on your hips was too tight and uncomfortable. His breath on your neck smelled like beer and it reeked of pot and something else. You looked desperately for your friends, who were unfortunately busy with their crushes. You tried to fake happiness when one hand left your waist, hoping he would be leaving.

“So what’s your name, Miss Witch?”

“Laura,” you lie, not trusting him one bit.

“”Well Laura, do you want a drink?” he asked.

“No, I already have one,” you say.

“Want another one?” he said, trying to sound sexy and coming off sleazy.

“No thanks. I’m trying to pace myself.” you reply.

“Suit yourself,” he says, returning his hand to your waist. The next few minutes felt like the longest of your life as you waited for the song to end. When it did end, you immediately came up with a plan.

“Hey stud I’ve gotta pee. Meet me in the kitchen?” you say coyly.

“Hell yeah baby!” he said as he raced to the kitchen. As soon as he walked away, you made a point to lose yourself in the crowd to avoid the creep’s gaze and downed the rest of your drink but you almost spit it out because it was either watered down or something just tasted off. More metallic than before. You immediately swallowed it and made a beeline for the patio doors, letting yourself out and closing it behind you. You immediately started to feel warmer and anxious after that interaction so you took a deep breath to calm yourself, thanking your Deity for your quick thinking. After a minute of deep breathing, you headed out to the back to see who all was out here. There was a little bit of everyone here tonight so you were happy to be able to blend in. You saw a big cloud of smoke coming from 50 feet away so you started to make your way out of it. The walk was a little wobbly from the heels and the alcohol but you made it to the source of the smoke and you were so glad you did because, as promised, there was your favorite person sitting by the bonfire laughing with his friends wearing just a pair of overalls, no shirt with his tattoos on full display. You started to make your way towards him, leaves crunching under your feet. The sound caught their attention and as soon as Eddie saw you, he smiled wider under the joint in his mouth.

“Y/N! You found me!” Eddie said smiling as you were in ear shot.

“Hi guys. How’s the evening? How was Hellfire?” you ask as you go towards Eddie to sit next to him.

“It’s going well. Hellfire was fucking rad! We got to fight a small army and won!” Gareth said, taking a drink of his beer.

“Well I’m glad it worked out well. Maybe I’ll sit in on a session one day and see how you run a campaign if that’s okay.” you say sitting next to Eddie.

“Of course Princess. I’m more than happy to show you the ropes if you ever wanna guest play” Eddie said with a smile.

“So how’s your night going Y/N?” Jeff asked.

“It’s okay. I lost my friends to their crushes so I danced for a while until this jerkoff jock forced me to dance with him,” you say with a shiver.

“What?” Grant said with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Which one?” Eddie asked with a clenched fist, rings prominently visible and his bare chest visibly raising and falling rapidly.

“I don’t know. I tried not to look at him, gave him a fake name and told him I had to pee before I came out here.” you say with a slur, the alcohol starts to take its effects.

“Smart move!” Jeff said as the other agreed.

“You’re with me the rest of the night, got it?” Eddie said look at you with a serious expression.

“You won’t hear me complainin’” you say. You fade out of the conversation for a bit, watching the bonfire burn. You think about simple thoughts like what you would eat when you got home, how you’d maybe watch some tv or listen to music. You wondered if Robin was doing well with Vickie and what Ali had planned for her and Steve. You are pulled from your thoughts when a gentle hand touches your shoulder. You turn to your right and see Eddie looking at you quizzically. His touch feels amazing for some reason.

“You okay?” Eddie asks.

“I don’t know; I feel kind of weird” you say.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asks, full attention turning to you.

“I mean I feel drunk but also tired but then it’s like I’m fine,” you say. Eddie hands you a lit joint he had just rolled and sparked.

“Try hitting this once or twice. Small hits” Eddie said. You take the joint and take a few small hits before passing it to your left to Gareth. You sit there for a minute or two focusing on your breathing.

“Okay, at the risk of sounding like an asshole, how much did you have to drink tonight Y/N?” Eddie asks as gently as he can.

“2 shots and a rum and coke.” you slur

“Who made it?” Eddie asks.

“Ali did.” you say. Eddie was quiet for a minute or two, clearly deep in thought as he hit the joint Grant passed him. His eyebrows creased in thought, he finally turns back to you.

“Were you dancing with your drink in your hand?” Eddie asks. You had to think for a moment before nodding. Eddie passes the joint to Gareth, skipping you and causing you to pout.

“Did you drive?” Eddie asks. You shook your head no.

“R-R-Robin did. What’s with all the que-questions?” you slur, rolling the R in Robin’s name.

“OKay. I’m gonna take her home guys,” Eddie said to his friends who nodded in an agreed understanding. Eddie stood up and moved in front of you, offering his hands to help you up. You grabbed his hands and he helped pull you up to your feet as gracefully as you could manage. He moves a hand to your side where his arm is wrapped around you, to balance you and you do the same.

“How are you feeling? Can you walk?” Eddie asked as you started to nod. You two started to make your way back to the patio entry. Your walk was a little wobbly but you were okay in Eddie’s hands. He slid open the patio door for you and went through first, offering his hand to pull you through. The party was still bumping so you and Eddie easily slid through the crowd undetected as you searched for your friends. Eddie spotted the pair sitting comfortably on the couch talking to another couple. He led the way over to them.

“Hey Roberts.” Eddie said, grabbing Ali’s attention to him and you. You could see concern written all over her face.

“Hey guys, everything okay? What happened?” Ali asked.

“No, just…not here. I can explain tomorrow but just trust me, I need to get Y/N out of here NOW.” Eddie said calmly. At these words, Steve’s attention snapped to the conversation.

“You’re sure you’ve got her? We can take her if you want to stay.” Steve said with raised eyebrows, his protectiveness over his friend coming out.

“Yeah I’ve got her. Stay here with your girl and have fun, Harrington. I hate these kinds of parties anyways.” Eddie says.

“Okay if you’re absolutely sure man. Just please don’t leave her by herself.” Steve said.

“”I won’t. I’ll sleep on the floor with her dog if I have to,” Eddie said.

“Y/N, I’m coming over tomorrow first thing to check on you,” Ali said looking at you as you nodded at her. “I love you Y/N/N”

“I lubb you tew Ali and Steeb,” you say as Eddie leads you to the front door and opens it for you to go first before closing it and going back to your side.

“My van is like a block that way so the walk shouldn’t be too bad,” Eddie said, helping you get down the stairs.

“Okay Eddie. Are you mad at me?” you ask suddenly, hitting the magical level of fucked up where you say whatever comes to your mind.

“Where’d you get that idea from Princess?” Eddie asks.

“Earlier when you asked about my drinking.” you say.

“Y/N I want you to be safe. You can have fun, I’m not saying you can’t, but tonight…” Eddie stopped himself, deciding not to say it.

“I was fine until that jerk wouldn’t let me go.” you whine, getting to the final step.

“I know, pretty girl,” Eddie said softly.

“I just wanted to dance by myself or with…” This time it’s you who stops talking but Eddie has other plans.

“With who?” Eddie asks with something different behind his voice. Jealous? Possessiveness?

“I wanted to dance with you honestly.” you admit.

“Aww you wanna slow dance with me?” he asks teasingly and that does it for you.

“You don’t have to make fun of me! I know it’s stupid and I don’t need you to help either at making me feel it,” you say as tears start to prick your eyes, threatening to fall.

“Whoa hey Y/N I didn’t–”

“Just don’t then Eddie. I just wanna go home now,” you say, walking faster now, dropping your hand from around him to get away from him. Eddie watched from a second as you sped up, heels clicking loud and fast as you looked for his van. He wanted to kick himself right now for upsetting you; he just didn’t believe that out of all the guys at school, you wanted him. He wasn’t used to being picked first, let alone at all. He picked up the pace and caught up with you effortlessly. Within minutes, you reached the van in silence as Eddie wordlessly opened the door for you and helped you settle in. You put on your seatbelt as Eddie got in the van and started it, taking off at a slower pace for Eddie. For the first part, you looked out the window as the town started to pass you by and it didn’t take long to figure out just where you were going.

“Please don’t take me to the hospital,” you say seeing a sign for it on the road.

“Why not Y/N? That prick put drugs in your drink and we need to get them out of you before it really causes some fucking damage” Eddie asks.

“My mom works there as a nurse so if I show up to her work like this, I’m dead.” you say.

“So what? You want me to take you home where you could possibly OD in your sleep?” Eddie rambles.

“I don’t know Eddie! I’m fucking scared, I’m feeling tired and I just want to sleep,” you say.

“Fine. I’ll take you home but you’ve got another thing coming if you think I’m leaving you alone tonight,” Eddie states, turning right to start heading to your house instead.

“You can do whatever the hell you please,” you say, crossing your arms like a child. Eddie exhaled, trying to not laugh at you in this state right now as he looked back at the road.

“I’m gonna find that asshole who did this to you and kick his fucking ass,” Eddie said lowly, more to himself. You decide it best not to answer as you try to think of when he could’ve done that to your drink but the drug’s effects were already at work, causing you to doubt yourself and just forget. It really frustrated you that you couldn’t remember. You felt like a scared child and you hated it.

“What are you thinking right now? Talk to me” Eddie asked, when he was a few minutes away from your home. You had been muttering to yourself for a solid minute now and he had had enough, You looked at him in tears and he immediately softened.

“I want my Uncle Dave. He would know what to do,” you say as the tears fall down. Eddie’s heart hurts for a moment seeing it. He so badly wants to do anything to make you feel better.

“We’re a few minutes away from your house. What would you like me to do Y/N?” Eddie asked as he grabbed your hand, rubbing circles on the top of it.

“Call him,” you cry softly as Eddies nods. He lets you cry for a moment while he holds your hand and then he starts to sing along to the radio.

“I get this feeling I may know you as a lover and a friend. But this voice keeps whispering in my other ear, Tells me I may never see you again cause I get a peaceful, easy feeling that I know you won’t let me down cause I’m already standing on the ground. “ Eddie sings as you try to focus on him. He pulled into your spot in the driveway and parked, undoing his seatbelt and getting out of his side. You do the same, getting out and immediately feeling super drowsy and gross. Eddie places his arm around you and walks up to your door.

“Key?” he asks.

“Under the fairy,” you say. Eddie picks up the fairy ornament by the potted plant, grabs the key and unlocks the door before replacing the key under the fairy. You walk in and kick off your heels moaning from the relief as Norm rushes to your side, excited to see you.

“Go get some pajamas on and I’ll be up with some water here in a few minutes,” Eddie says as you nod, going up the stairs. Eddie went to the kitchen to the wall phone and looked for an address book. Luckily for him, the number was pinned next to the phone on a chalkboard. He dialed the number and waited. One ring…two…three, four, five rings, six…seven…

“Hello? Jameson residence, Dave speaking,” a groggy voice answered.

“Dave? Hey I don’t know if you remember me from a few weeks ago but this is Eddie Munson, Y/N’s friend?” Eddie started.

“Eddie Munson?” Dave groaned over the phone, clearly trying to wake up and pay attention to the conversation at hand.

“Yeah Y/N’s friend. Look I wouldn’t have called this late but it’s an emergency. I think Y/N got roofied at a party tonight and she’s scared. She wouldn’t let me take her to the hospital; insisted on coming home and she’s crying out for you. She told me to call you.” Eddie said, exhaling at the end. He could hear shuffling in the background and slight whispers.

“Okay Eddie. Get her to drink water, lots of it, and try to get her to throw it up. Everything. I’m on my way and I’ll be there soon. I’m five minutes away,” Dave says.

“Okay Dave thank you,” Eddie says as they hang up the phone. He went into the actual kitchen and got together a glass of water and a bag of frozen peas in case you got overheated. He looked around for aspirin but couldn’t find any so he went up to your room where he found you lying on your bed in shorts and a Black Sabbath shirt.

“Hey angel. How are you feeling after getting out of that dress?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah a little better” you say into your pillows.

“Okay good. Can you sit up for me and drink some water?” Eddie asked sweetly. You complied, sitting up with a groan and taking the water from him. You took a few big gulps and sighed.

“Good girl. Now I need to try and get that disgusting stuff out of you.” Eddie said.

“You mean…”

“Yeah sadly I do,” Eddie says as you groan, “Gotta get all that shit outta your body, baby girl. I know it sucks but we gotta do it. If it helps, Uncle Dave’s on his way.”

“You called him?” you say, feeling sheepish.

“Yep, he’ll be here any minute. I feel like you might listen to him more than me but he might have a lecture ready,” Eddie said. You sigh, nodding before getting up and going to the bathroom, locking the door behind you while you take care of yourself.

When Eddie went back downstairs to get himself a glass of water, he heard a key in the door and Norm barking. He looked through the open doorway and saw a long haired man walk in, greeting Norm with some pats. His black and gray tattoos on both sleeves on full display with his tank top and sweatpants. Eddie could tell he grabbed the first thing he had thrown on.

“Hey kid” Dave said, seeing Eddie in the kitchen.

“Hey thanks for coming. She’s in the bathroom right now and she drank about a third of her water so far,” Eddie informed.

“Thanks for the call. How’s she doing?” Dave asked, walking to the kitchen.

“She’s pretty shaken earlier but she seems okay for now, now that she’s home but knowing Y/N, she’s hiding how she’s really feeling,” Eddie admitted.

“Yeah she has always done that. She’s never been one to trust people easily so that’s why I’m glad she was able to at least trust you when in this situation. Thanks kid. I can take it from here if you’ve got places to be,” Dave said.

“I actually don’t. Would it be alright if I stayed? I probably won’t be able to sleep very well tonight if I don’t” Eddie admitted again, not wanting to seem like he’s overstaying his welcome.

“I respect that. How about you take my nephew’s room? He should have some sleep clothes you can borrow,” Dave said, pointing at the room across from yours. Eddie nodded as they heard Y/N open the bathroom door open and shuffle up to her room. Eddie sighed.

“You got her this far man. You did good, kid, now go rest up. I can watch her,” Dave said with a smile as Eddie nodded, starting up the stairs. “Oh and Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Sick Eddie Van Halen costume” Dave said with a laugh.

Taglist: @realeddiemunsonstandup @eddies-blunt @sharkbaitouhaha @spookyscoopstroop @bobbiewritesstuff @eveieforeve02 @apublicnotebook @madaboutmunson2 @grungegrrrl @riffcrusader @stardustworlds @tayhar811

#eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie musnon imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie munson x you #strange love an eddie fic #strange love talks #eddie munson slow burn #eddie munson friends to lovers

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masked-disciple · 4 years ago

Note

Hey so uh, referencing the post you reblogged about dni things, and I mean this as genuinely as possible! But what do you think proship means? I just ask because ah...in my experience it usually means people who ship minors with adults ; ;

You’re close but not quite on the mark. It means I do not give a single flying fuck what someone ships, so long as things are tagged and they’re not being disrespectful to others around them.

Hell, I don’t care if someone ships real people, so long as it’s tagged and they’re not stupid enough to bring it into any interaction with those people they may have. Not so many folks are all right with RPF, but that was one of my starts in ship fandom - shoutout to Sekihan and Piko for encouraging the hell out of it, though, they knew their audience - and if you’re not showing it to the people you’re shipping and you’re tagging it so people know what they’re clicking on, I don’t care.

Here’s the thing. Fiction does affect reality, but not in the way antis want you to think it does. Take 50 Shades of Grey, for example. There was a huge outcry against it when it came out, because it portrayed straight up sexual and emotional abuse as BDSM, and the BDSM community (at least in hindsight, I was 11 when the movie came out and if I’d known what their actual reaction had been in real time something would have been deeply wrong) was rightly pissed off about it.

Here’s the reason why 50 Shades’ misinformation pissed them off, and me writing a 10k underage incest fic (mind the tags) probably shouldn’t piss anyone off. 50 Shades was mainstream and portrayed as totally healthy and fine. That isn’t really an issue. What is the issue is that it was aimed towards young teenagers. I was maybe a year too young for it to be marketed to me, and this was 2011 when my entire concern was stealing every One Direction poster out of spite and drawing bikinis in permanent marker on their stupid bodies because all my classmates got official merch of their faves and I couldn’t get Vocaloid merch because shipping rates say no.

Ahem. That was the problem, right there. Because fandom does not simply ask but demands that you tag your shit. If you run a NSFW blog, it is not required by law per se but required by fandom culture to put an 18+ warning on it somehow immediately available.

50 Shades was marketed to teenagers, and that’s a damn problem. When I write my 7k DDLG father-daughter incest fic (mind the tags and that is a different fic than the first one), I am not writing it for a teenage audience. When you click on either of those fics, AO3 straight up says this:

You know what this is? This is them saying “This is explicit material. If you agree and see it and have issues, then that’s on you, because we asked you if you were cool with it. If you lied to us, we can’t do fuckall about it.”

Teenagers are teenagers. Teens will sneak onto porn sites and take kink quizzes with their friends and also probably lose their virginity before they’re 17. Most of my classmates had lost it by 16. I’d been writing sexually explicit fic since I was 12, not that I was any good at it.

To imply teenagers are simply baby children and then mature at 18 into fully-functional adults is actually really stupid, especially considering how many of them rightfully get really pissed off if you treat them like children. So why the hell is it that teenage antis get really upset because you wrote porn?

It’s because you wrote porn of a ship they don’t like, and making you out to be a horrible child abuser makes them sound legitimate because they don’t want to recognize that being disgusted by something doesn’t mean that the thing that disgusts them doesn’t deserve to exist.

I write sexually explicit material of teens largely to deal with my teenage self never getting to actually understand her own desires and capabilities, because she missed out due to dysphoria and alterhumanity she didn’t fully understand. You know how people are like “If you’re 23 and need that comfort blanket then just get the comfort blanket to please your inner child, psychology says reparenting yourself like that is actually good?” What do you think I’m doing? That’s pretty well it.

I don’t care if people write fucked up things. People write fucked up things for all sorts of reasons, and it is not my place to ask them if they’re traumatized and thus ‘justified’ in doing it. Either you force everyone to lay out their trauma before you let them write things that could potentially disgust a teenager who is not allowed to be there in the first place, or you just live and let people live.

And if you really want people to lay out their trauma and then get grilled before you let them deal with it in ways that you personally don’t like, wow, that is serious ableism right there. You know all those “support trauma victims even when it’s not pretty!!!!1!!!” posts? Are fucking meaningless if you don’t actually support them. And supporting them means not asking them about things that broke them to satisfy some moral high that doesn’t need to exist.

I don’t care if people ship minors with adults. I don’t. Tag your shit. Tag it so people know what they’re walking into. I have issues when people post porn when I didn’t ask to see it. But saying ‘proceed’ on that AO3 warning is asking to see it. Opening up an 18+ blog is asking to see it. Going into the tags without an adblocker is asking to see it.

If you really think people can’t write what they want without appealing to you, personally, about it, then you need to work on your own disgust and how you deal with it, because demanding they stop because it upsets you - when you were never involved, and especially when you’re not supposed to be there - is rude, disrespectful, and not something I tolerate.

I’m not saying this to be mean. I’m really not. And most of this is general-you, not you-anon-in-particular, because I have no idea who you are. I ought to redo my pinned post anyway because I have been getting a lot of folks who say proship dni following me despite the fact I am pretty proship and I should make that more obvious so they know what they’re getting into - again, this is me tagging my shit - and I’ll do that probably tomorrow, but still.

If nobody is actually getting hurt to make the thing, which fanfiction and fanart does not unless you are really fucked up and in which case you know you’re fucking doing it, then I don’t care. Thoughtcrimes aren’t real crimes, and I will never treat them that way.

So I know exactly what proship means, and I’m proship. My AO3 has explicit fics on it that would make antis froth at the mouth, and you don’t need to go looking for them, I linked them for anyone who wants to read it. I’ve never hidden it, and I wouldn’t. It’s tagged. You know what you’re going in for. If you agree to see it, then you were warned, and there’s nothing more we can do.

Simply as that.

#asks #anonymous

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tocxmply · 5 years ago

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ATTENTION, AWARENESS, AND LEARNING [sources: click, click, click, click, click]

the original plan was to have this as the initial section of my meta about Bucky’s memory (what he remembers vs. what he forgot, essentially) but: 1) i realized that was going to be a massive thing and splitting it might be in my best interest, and 2) memory does not exist without learning and learning does not exist without attention so, really, exploring each step individually might not be a bad idea after all. other than the linked sources, this meta will also build on what i have already discussed regarding the process of brainwashing that underlies the functioning of the Winter Soldier: here. on the other hand, whereas the topic of this meta is not memory, all of these cognitive processes are deeply enmeshed and therefore do not exist as categorically separated as this text may make them look like — these are conceptual separations only (despite the little fancy numbered topics, i end up talking of attention + learning + memory all at the same time), and a degree of overlap will always exist.

1. ATTENTION starting with the concept that we cannot learn about what we do not pay attention to, then it makes all the sense to ask: what does the Winter Soldier pay attention to? and the answer is: to whatever HYDRA commands him to. the hypnosis protocols (explored in the brainwashing meta) have the purpose, exactly, to fixate his attention on fulfilling the mission goal(s), whatever they may be, at expense of everything else — which, in turn, means that if, he’s not paying attention to, say, his surroundings and the people who are with him, he won’t be able to learn about, and posteriorly remember, this sort of details.

this brings me to the “i remember all of them” line in “Captain America: Civil War” — which Sebastian Stan himself has already stated was something Bucky said in the spur of the moment, something that Tony wanted to hear while having him literally in a choke-hold. no, he doesn’t remember all of them, much as this is a heartbreaking line with big cinematic impact. i personally headcanon that Bucky remembers Howard Stark, based on the fact that this is someone he met and got to know in the 40s — which is information that comes from the long-term memory, not equally affected by the mind wiping + cryostasis as short-term memory (which i shall explore in more detail in the future memory meta). even so, it’s not clear recollection — more like remembering what that particular mission was about, and remembering faces that, back then, the Soldier could not recognize but that, in retrospect, he’s able to make sense of. i also headcanon that a similar logic applies to the mission referenced in “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, where Natasha talks of how he shot the man she was guarding through her, and it applies as well to the highway scene in the same movie. for these three missions, long-term knowledge and/or an intense emotional tone allowed for the Soldier’s attention to be highly focused on Howard/ Natasha/ Steve respectively, spanning beyond what the hypnosis protocol dictates. nonetheless, memories of these missions are fragmented and he remembers the associated emotions that these three persons evoked, more than any coherent dialogue or details of that moment.

in regard to the other targets/ missions, Bucky remembers conceptual information essentially (e.g., the target’s name, what day it was, what the mission briefing required him to do), considering that these targets held no previous meaning to him. because these conceptual details were what his attention was focused on. so, for example, he may be able to remember who was the target assassinated on a specific day and in which way this was done, but he won’t be able to remember what the person was wearing or what their face looked like or who were the handlers for that mission. not only he didn’t pay attention to these details but they would have been wiped in post-mission, anyway. the only memory traces that stay are those which already existed and those that HYDRA allowed him to effectively learn — and these, again, are reduced to information that was necessary for carrying out the mission successfully.

what consequences does all of this have, once Bucky breaks free from HYDRA? first, what he was allowed to pay attention to is what he is now able to remember, as discussed. and then, it means that his attention span undergoes a big change as soon as it’s “free”, so to speak. now he doesn’t have anyone dictating what to pay attention to — and, whereas this is a good thing, it also implies that the world is suddenly perceived as chaotic. because now he’s suddenly aware of everything that the Soldier never noticed — he perceives faces and colors and shapes and sensations and all else, and this can easily get overwhelming (even the good things).

again, i will complement/ explore this better in the memory meta, but this is why, in post-HYDRA, Bucky struggles with actions that require short-term and working memory — not only because these brain areas were affected by the wiping, but because his span of attention itself is all over the place. not in the sense of attention deficit disorder, per se, but because there is so much stimulation happening at the same time that he isn’t used at all to be aware of (and now add to this the fact that he is also a man out of his time, as much as Steve, and there is so much to learn anew in this modern world). depending on his general state of mind, his coping may vary from dissociation (just downright shut down everything because he currently has no mental energy to process any of it, so he withdraws instead) to actively trying to process the information he’s being given (and try to understand and make sense of it, and currently being mentally stable enough to pay attention and learn and keep up with all of it).

nonetheless, this process will frequently be a bumpy one. for example, he will try to pay attention to everything and, in the end, retain none of it exactly because he was so scattered, or he will (consciously or not) direct his attention to one thing only and everything else that is going on will go completely over his head. with this said, and roleplay-wise, you should expect things like your muse having to repeat something before he actually gets it and commits it to memory, or that he won’t be able to follow what your muse is talking about if there is a lot being conveyed in a short period of time (because, by the time your muse finishes, he’s already forgotten what was said at the start, or, instead, he focused on what was said first and didn’t follow anything else), or that your muse expects him to be paying attention but in the meantime something else captured his interest and, by the time your muse realizes, Bucky has gone over to the other side of the street to pet this cute cat while leaving your muse talking alone. exceptions to this are situations that are an actual mission or resembling of it, aka situations with a very well defined goal and where he has very clear instructions to adhere to — exactly because this is what he was trained, for 70 years, to focus on and pay attention to.

2. AWARENESS again. awareness and attention are two conceptually different things — but with a great degree of overlapping and interdependence. awareness, in particular, refers to directly knowing and perceiving, feeling or being cognizant of events. it’s the state of being conscious of something. so… is it possible to pay attention without being aware? technically yes, and i see this as a particularity of the Winter Soldier, actually. because if you ask him, during a mission: what is your target doing right now? — he knows, he’ll tell you, because he is paying attention to said target. but is he aware of what he’s doing, as in, does he realize he’s about to kill a human being and what this implies at every level? he isn’t. he’s doing it because he was commanded to do it, and weapons don’t question the hand that pulls the trigger. this is possibly the most drastic change that happens in post-HYDRA, because he finally becomes aware — finally regains a sense of being conscious of his actions (and shoutout to Sebastian’s terrific acting at the end of that helicarrier scene in CA:TWS, because with his eyes only he can so clearly depict this change — this moment when the Soldier becomes aware of what he is doing to Steve). and let me redirect to another of my previous metas, re: the dehumanization of the Winter Soldier, because this shift in awareness relies entirely on the human being vs. weapon/asset mindsets: here.

in post-HYDRA, then, this comes laced with everything i already discussed about attention. the increased capacity to pay attention to the world, once the hypnosis protocol is discontinued, comes hand-in-hand with this rise in awareness — paying attention to the sunlight like you never did before, and being aware that sunlight feels warm on your skin and being aware that, in turn, this is a pleasant sensation. unlike attention, however, gaining awareness brings Bucky a whole lot more demons to deal with — because it makes him conscious of what the Soldier has done and what it implies and, at the same time, it makes him conscious of what was done to him — and this dichotomy fuels a very toxic, very difficult to undo, cycle of guilt/shame vs. paranoia. on the other hand, whereas i don’t want to go into much detail about empathy right now, this also allows him to grow very compassionate and very mindful of his actions — because he knows what the Soldier is capable of, and because he never wants any of it to happen again as far as he can help it. which is why, for example, in my writing post- CA:TWS, a pervasive theme is that Bucky is way more scared of the harm that he can potentially do to others than what can be done to him.

and a smol extra note, once more based on Seb’s acting because this man’s body language is a heavens-sent: despite everything stated above, i don’t personally believe that the Winter Soldier is completely unaware of what he’s doing. this is speculative, obviously, and no more than my own headcanon, but i really don’t think he is. he’s trained to not question it, and most of the time he doesn’t actively question it (possibly, the only time this happens is the whole “the man on the bridge” moment), but he’s not completely ruthless either — on the contrary. the highway scene in CA:TWS is a perfect example, because we can see how uncaring he is re: his own well-being (hopping off the rail like he does and landing on that car like a ton of bricks, with zero care for his own body), but we don’t see him shooting/massacring any civilians even though he so easily could. he’s solely focused on Black Widow at that point and, yes, this is likely because it’s what the hypnosis protocol dictates his attention be given to, but i personally believe it also comes out of an unconscious desire to do no harm — that belongs not to the Soldier, but to James Buchanan Barnes. one more topic for a future meta!

3. LEARNING so… i actually feel like there isn’t much left to say about this topic in particular, given how i have already been tapping at it during the two previous ones. the Winter Soldier’s learning relies on two big strategies: classical/ Pavlovian conditioning and operant conditioning (both of which i have explored in the brainwashing meta). and a whole lot of repetition, till he learns what HYDRA wants him to learn — and anything else he casually/ autonomously learns and that is considered unnecessary is taken care of via mind wiping. the biggest implication of this is that, in post-HYDRA, Bucky is a bit like a child learning about the world for the first time. not only he’s in a modern world where so much is new and he doesn’t know about it, but his learning process relies basically only in association of stimuli + punishment or reinforcement. in post-HYDRA, he starts doing trial-and-error in an autonomous manner, he starts doing vicarious learning (i.e., learning through observing other people), he starts learning things by accident in the sense that he wasn’t even trying to but it happened anyway, he starts learning by imitating and doing what others do.

which brings me to another roleplay thing, and one that i often joke about but that, in fact, happens for real — the fact that all this makes Bucky rather gullible. for example, he will see some modern contraption that he never got to see/use before and he logically won’t have a clue about it, and he will likely believe what he’s told about it — because he has no other reference, because he trusts the person who’s telling him this, because this is how he’s learned things for the past decades. he’s used to being taught, more than to learn on his own, and he’s used to the things he’s taught being the only truth that matters, in typical HYDRA fashion. the difference is that he now is aware of what he’s being told, so if you tell him “go and assassinate the prime-minister” he will obviously know what this is about and why this isn’t a good idea, to say it mildly. also, this doesn’t make him completely oblivious, in the sense of believing everything he’s told blindly and without a sense of criticism — because, yes, he’s got a shitty memory but he can sill use logic and rationality — so if you tell him to cook a sundae in the microwaves he’ll tell you to go screw yourself, because sundae is ice cream and ice cream melts. on the other hand, popular references are the thing that confuse him the most and that are hardest to learn, exactly because they don’t carry this inherent sense of concrete logic — so if you tell him that YEET! is the new way to say good morning nowadays, chances are he’ll start telling it to everyone from there on until he’s taught properly about it.

to conclude, i just wanna mention yet again the connection with attention — because the limitations i have already discussed obviously have an impact on Bucky’s capacity to learn, in post-HYDRA. generally speaking, this capacity is reduced when compared to the Soldier — not only due to brain damage, but also because the Soldier was exceptionally prepared, through hypnosis, to learn any minimal details deemed necessary (for example, this is how he learned the 16 new languages that add to English and German that he already knew --- this specific headcanon: here). so, it’s not like he now sucks at learning, rather it was the Soldier that was (forced to be) way above the standard level. now in normal conditions, this capacity is more scattered and it fluctuates along with his span of attention — which, in turn, fluctuates along with his mental health status. but he is a curious person and he wants to improve and to learn more, either on his own or with help, and this intrinsic motivation is very important when it comes to adapting to a new life/new world.

#long post #「ᵐᵉᵗᵃ」ʷᶤᵖᵉ ʰᶤᵐ ᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗ ᵒᵛᵉʳ

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seventhdoctor · 6 years ago

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Meme, as tagged by @feychannel.

Relationship status: Single and likely to remain so. I’ll consider dating when I get my doctorate and a stable job, and/or when I figure out what my sexuality is besides SHRUG I guess.

Favorite color: Purple, generally softer shades like lavender. Runner-up is the reddish-orange color associated with maple leaves and autumn. Yes, these things are very different.

Top Three ships:

1. Gwendolyn/Oswald from Odin Sphere: I’m mortally offended by how catered to my specific narrative kinks this pairing is. Sad people taking a chance and finding hope and love with each other? Check. Tragic miscommunications and complicated circumstances, turning Consent Issues: The Nightmare into affirmation? Check. Hardcore edgelord being a soft husband? Check. Married couple going to the ends of the earth for each other? They need to work on those communication skills but check, check, check. Gwendolyn fighting a machine gun-toting fairy queen for something that really should rightfully belong to the fairy because whatever, my husband gave me that dammit is rude yet as iconic as Oswald going “JFC dude she’s not a sexy lamp holding a spear, she’s an actual person and I’m real glad she’s not magically compelled to love me.” Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

2. Yuri/Victor, Yuri on Ice: See above re: sad people taking a chance and finding hope and love with each other. Do I think their relationship needs work? Yes again. Do I also scream internally every time I see a picture of them dancing banquet-style? Also yes. They mutually inspire and complete each other and honestly that’s my biggest narrative kink of all, platonic or romantic.

3. Jude/Milla, Tales of Xillia: Again referencing the previous: they mutually inspire and complete each other and I am always here for that. Milla strives to be the guiding star that Jude sees her as and tries to emulate. Relationship goals.

Special shoutouts/honorable mentions to Judai/Yubel from Yugioh GX, AKA my shockingly quasicanon, dubiously healthy guilty pleasure ship since age 15, and Emil Castagnier of Tales of Symphonia being a bisexual disaster in love with Marta and Richter at the same time oh no.

Also if we get into platonic ships the list is endless, which is why I’m limiting this to romantic only.

Lipstick or Chapstick: Chapstick, because I’m too lazy for makeup and because the winter does a number on my lips on occasion.

Last Song: Current song on Pandora iiiis...Flight of Fantasy by Yanni, preceded by Kiss of Life by Ryan Farish. Ryan Farish is good work music.

Last Movie: Into the Spiderverse. It was good, but I don’t feel like I’m knowledgeable enough to gush about it as properly as certain other people I know can.

Tagging: honestly I think there’s only person I even occasionally talk to on Tumblr and not other sites? Oops. Let’s say @actualaster, @science-doyourstuff, @partymage, and anyone else who wants to do this, go nuts. Optional, obviously!

#text #meme

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easyhairstylesbest · 4 years ago

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Lily Collins Teases More of That Love Triangle in 'Emily in Paris' Season 2

It doesn’t take long to realize that Emily in Paris (Lily Collins) has no idea what she’s doing. The Netflix show follows a clueless young American woman who walks into a culture with which she’s made no effort to familiarize herself; when she first meets her downstairs neighbor, Gabriel (Lucas Bravo), he tells her he’s from Normandy, and this woman straight-up says, “Oh, I know that beach; Saving Private Ryan, right?” Um, do you really want French people thinking you’re an ignorant American who gets her country’s history from a 1998 Tom Hanks movie? Maybe check in with yourself before flippantly referencing a World War II battle that killed thousands of people.

Despite Emily’s fumbles, you have to admit her journey is relatable to any American who studied abroad in Europe when they were young and stupid. Yes, Emily is supposed to be an adult woman from Chicago with a Masters degree and disdain for Lou Malnotti’s deep dish. But she’s living a glamorous life in Paris in 2020 while the rest of us are getting themed face masks shilled to us by Instagram. As my friend Laura put it on Twitter, “Emily in Paris, rest of us in hell.”

Not only does this tweet describe the experience of watching the show, but it simultaneously accepts that the series is our best option for escaping real life in our present circumstances. Emily gets to run around Paris and go to restaurants; have awkward, inappropriate interactions with her boss; and bang many mediocre men without a care in the world. She doesn’t have to quarantine for two weeks before going to her parents’ for the weekend or wear a mask as she makes any of her dozens of terrible choices. Emily is free to be an ignorant American in Paris, and that is reason enough to watch this show.

Now, the real question is: When will there be more?

Season 2 is officially confirmed.

On Wednesday, November 11, Netflix confirmed Emily in Paris would return for a second season with a quirky note penned by Emily’s long-suffering boss Sylvie (Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu).

Netflix

TO: MADELINE WHEELER

c/o: The Gilbert Group

Nous sommes désolées! We are writing to regrettably inform you that Emily Cooper will need to remain in Paris for an extended period of time. Despite her overconfident manner and lack of prior experience in luxury goods marketing, she has nonetheless managed to charm some of our hard-to-impress clients during her short time at Savoir. Call it bonne chance, or American ingenuity—I’m leaning towards the former—her results are impressive.

We hope that by extending her time in Paris, Emily will further the relationships she has already made, delve deeper into our culture, and perhaps pick up a few words of basic French.

We will work in conjunction with you on applying for a work permit on her behalf to prolong her time here.

We love having Emily in Paris!

But please don’t let her know that.

Cordialement,

Sylvie Grateau

Before the renewal news, creator Darren Star told E! News he has some ideas for the next season. “I think Emily has some surprising tough choices,” he said. “The show’s so much about the culture undermining her expectations of how things are and how things seem. And everything will not be as it seems. It’s always about challenging her American worldview. We certainly have a lot of forks in the road and a lot of places to go.”

Filming could start this spring.

Emily in Paris was actually filmed in Paris, and with the pandemic gumming up literally everything, it’s been hard to tell when production on season 2 would begin. In an interview with Deadline, Collins mentioned a tentative plan to start shooting in the spring: “We’re aiming to hopefully be going back soon,” she said. “Hopefully in springtime. We’re trying to move forward. Again, everything is Covid pending. When we got confirmed for season 2 it made us all even more excited and even more anxious to get back. Of course, there are so many regulations right now and we want to be safe, but we want to get back.”

The script could be refreshingly queer.

In an interview with Cosmopolitan, Bravo hinted at the possibility of a second season. He said that the first season has “planted a few seeds about different characters.” This is where it gets interesting: “Like Camille, when she kisses Emily on the mouth, and she’s like, ‘I’m not sorry.’ And then when they’re in bed, and I’m liking the picture, it’s all little seeds,” he explained. “Anything could happen between the three of them. I think Darren wants this second season to be really open-minded.”

In an interview with Vogue U.K., Collins said, “there are tons of little moments where you’re like, ‘…Does Camille like Emily?’ You can’t really get a vibe, and I feel like that ambiguity is what keeps Emily intrigued. I think anyone in that position would be like, you’re my friend, but now I have this romantic connection [with Gabriel], and I don’t want to hurt you, but… Oh my God! So, you know what, it’s really confusing. I feel like the next season will only create more love triangle drama, although maybe Emily will have a little bit of a stronger handle on the situation… Or maybe not.”

I don’t know about you, reader, but I definitely wasn’t sorry when that Emily-Camille kiss happened. Emily did say, “I usually prefer men.” It there a little room to mix things up, Em? Dear god, let’s hope so.

Collins doesn’t know much about the season 2 plot right now.

In that Deadline interview, Collins said she’s in the dark as to what’s next for her wacky character’s romantic life, but she reminded us that Camille is still in the picture. This is just my opinion (and I’m not alone), but Emily in Paris hasn’t made many advancements for diversity. Could we at least get a little shoutout for polyamory?

“I don’t know what they’re writing right now,” Collins said, “but I think it would be a little early for Emily to lock something in. I think she’s still exploring the prospects. Honestly, I think Emily doesn’t even know [what will happen], and that’s the beauty of the way that they write the show. She has yet to find all the qualities she maybe is looking for. But that being said, there is that connection with Gabriel, but now she has Camille in that love triangle, so I think there’s still experiences to be had, adventure to be had and she’s still finding herself.”

Experience? Adventure? (Cough) please make it gay.

Season 2 could explore Emily’s past.

We definitely got our fill of Emily fumbling around Paris in season 1, and it seems season 2 will deliver less fumbling and more actual plot: “The first season, we only had ten episodes to really explore her new friends at work and who she meets outside of work, so I’m excited to dive deeper into those backstories and spend more time intermingling the two groups of people that she meets,” Collins said. “Now that we’ve seen her with all these ‘Parisisms,’ maybe we get to actually get to a bit more of her backstory, and experience that with some of the other characters.”

Emily will grow up a bit in season 2.

If and when Emily does return, Star says she’ll be more settled into life in Paris. “In season 2, she’s going to be more of a part of the fabric of the world she’s living in. She’ll be more of a resident of the city,” he told OprahMag.com. “She’ll have her feet on the ground a little more. She’s making a life there.”

Does this mean she will be less of an embarrassment to Americans? Time will tell.

In the meantime, au revoir, Emily! Read a history book!

Hilary Weaver Hilary Weaver is a freelance writer based in New York who writes about politics, queer issues, Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, and every woman the Queen has ever made a dame.

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Lily Collins Teases More of That Love Triangle in 'Emily in Paris' Season 2

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bluejaywriter · 7 years ago

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A Brief Look Into Modern Internet Folklore: The Evolution of Isabel Maru (Dr. Poison)

Abstract: One of the most interesting things about WonderPoison fanfiction is how Isabel Maru’s character has evolved in the last 5 months. Isabel’s evil nature (as per the canon) makes her character very difficult to work with, especially when the end goal is to pair her with someone like Diana. Early WP fanfic grappled with this much more than fics do now, even in such a short time period.

TL:DR This post is a brief(ish) history of WonderPoison. Continue reading at your own risk. Also, you get to find out my three favorite WP fanfics!

In Search of A Remedy, the first WP fanfic ever posted on Ao3, arrived, somehow, before the film was even released. It doesn’t broach romance between these two, but it does offer a possible explanation of how Diana might find Isabel after the war and begin a friendship of sorts. Set directly after the end of the film, Isabel is still quite close to the canon- cold, closed, dedicated to her work, and verging on the edge of insanity.

The next two works (nearby and resettled, unsettled) were posted almost immediately after the film was released, and would eventually become the backbone of miss_belivet’s “wonderpoison archive”. The series depicts a very long courtship (around 10 years) of sorts between these two, with careful attention given to the fact that Diana is constantly keeping tabs on Isabel’s behavior. These two are quite formal and serious together, even as they move into their established relationship, with Isabel being ferried to Themyscira to live a semi-independent life, and Diana visiting her in between missions. Isabel never quite loses her edge, and Diana never settles into domestic life with her permanently.

The NEXT two works in this fandom were posted about a week after the movie’s release, and Jolene (which is tied with Johanna as my favorite WP fic of all time) was the first fanfic that I thought showed how blindingly perfect this ship could be. Isabel is still ruthless, Diana is still gentle and kind, but somehow- somehow- they find themselves putting that aside to be together, even if it is just for a night, or a short lifetime. I still read it every so often because it’s ridiculously beautiful, and it’s also the first fic that I felt wrestled with the moral issue (and it found them irreconcilable, and just threw them together anyways, because if love was powerful enough to keep Diana from killing Isabel in the first place, it could certainly be powerful enough to draw them back together now).

After Jolene, WonderPoison fics were being released almost daily- and then the Verge interview with Elena Anaya was released.

AND HELL BROKE LOOSE.

Hell did not break loose, but between Elena’s descriptions of Isabel’s past and character (the evil parts and the humanizing parts), and miss_belivet following it almost immediately with Johanna, we were shown under no uncertain terms that Isabel Maru was not just Ludendorff’s chief psychopath, but she was a human being; a talented, broken, grief-stricken, and relatable woman with the most tragic of pasts... I read Johanna and my heart stopped. I read Johanna and I realized that there was still hope for this woman- and I wanted to give it to her.

I started writing around this time, when the fandom was beginning to realize it didn’t need to preface each fic with a disclaimer about knowing Dr. Poison is evil and an acknowledgement that this is of course a crackship. More and more fics were posted from Isabel’s POV, and more fics offered a humanized version of Isabel- one that still presented her with that cold persona from the film, but now featured a strain of tragedy and humanity lurking underneath.

By the middle of July, several weeks after the film had been released, Ao3 was a mixed bag of “traditional comic book movie villain” Isabel Maru fanfics, and fluffy WP fanfics. It was almost bizarre to see them juxtaposed one after the other- evil WWI chemist Dr. Poison shorts followed by WonderPoison hurt/comfort oneshots. (One of the most impressive fics that came out at this point is my third favorite WP(ish) work, Shell Shock by Bellicose_Blue, which is a stunning take on the idea that Isabel, not Ludendorff, was Ares.)

By the beginning of August, the fandom was quiet.

Through all of this I was writing Hatred. I remember watching the fandom die down and wondering if I was devoting my summer to something no one would be around to read when I finally posted the epilogue. I remember spending hours in the library, writing page after page of WonderPoison meta, trying in vain to mold Isabel’s character into something remotely compatible with Diana’s.

I devoted two long, dragging chapters to Diana and Isabel’s reconciliation, and still wasn’t happy with it. But eventually, I myself, as a writer, had to believe in the power of love and let my characters run with it, logic be damned. Because maybe love and relationships really actually aren’t that logical, in reality.

I’m not going to harp on and on about Hatred (I wrote 30,000 words for it, isn't that enough??), but that fic was a labor of blood, sweat, and tears, because to get Isabel Maru from a place where she was completely full of hatred and bitterness, to a place where she essentially became Diana’s light was DIFFICULT.

But the fandom has gotten there with quiet ease, whether Hatred helped get it there or not. The fandom version of Isabel is still cold, snappy, and morally ambiguous, but she is also wicked, snarky, amusing, and even caring at times. She has soaked in our headcanons and our angst and our love for the last five months, and it shows.

I’m quite proud that writers today don’t feel the need to apologize for their love of WonderPoison. I’m quite proud that Isabel has become such a full character, with her tragic past and her cats and her sass and her pure, blind adoration for this lovable goof of a goddess (also, Diana has loosened up quite a bit in the fandom, have you noticed?).

And to be honest, it’s rather striking for me to watch Wonder Woman now and wonder in amazement at how on earth we got such an amazing woman from this caricatured, underdeveloped supervillain. But we did, somehow. And I cannot wait to see where she’s going next.

Links to referenced fics (shoutouts to all of the authors!!):

In Search of a Remedy by nire the wonder poison archive by miss_belivet Jolene by Chokopoppo johanna by miss_belivet Shell Shock by Bellicose_Blue Hatred by BlueJay_SilverTongue

Notes:

1. Just a disclaimer of course NO ONE who is writing WonderPoison needs to adhere to current fandom Isabel! Please, write her as close or far from canon as your creative heart desires! I just wanted to show that writers now have such a range of ways to write these two, and I’m so excited to see how that continues.

2. Also, I wanted to write this up for anyone who is new to the WonderPoison fandom, anyone who is curious about how on earth we managed to successfully ship Diana “righteousness incarnate” Prince with Isabel “actual mass murderer” Maru, and anyone who just wants a trip down WonderPoison memory lane.

3. Justice League comes out in a few days and I fully expect Ao3 to become SWAMPED with fics shipping Diana with her male league members, so I wrote this to celebrate the journey that this lovely fandom has taken over the last five months, and how we’ve all helped and supported each other to make these characters the couple that they can be today.

#WonderPoison #The Ultimate Guide to the Fandom #Wonder Woman #Isabel Maru #Dr. Poison #Also if I didn't mention your fic it doesn't mean I don't like it #It means I need to make this a podcast and talk about each fic at some point :-P #I love every WonderPoison fic are you kidding #Writers please let me know if you'd like to be removed from this post #I can't believe I wrote all this what is wrong with me

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amandajoyce118 · 7 years ago

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Agents of SHIELD Season 5 Premiere Easter Eggs

Since I’m not doing reviews for Agents of SHIELD this season, I didn’t want to leave everyone hanging who has been reading them the last few years. I thought instead I’d offer up Easter eggs, Marvel connections, etc for the season premiere, a few of which made it into my 25 Things You Missed In Agents of SHIELD article, but not all of them.

If you guys like this kind of thing, I’ll do it every episode. I don’t promise to catch them all, but I’ll write up the ones I find interesting!

Bendeery English Ale

I wish Nick Blood was still on twitter so I could tell him how much of a kick I get out of this still being used on the show.

According to him, back when he had a twitter account, he went to the props department because he wanted to give a shoutout to his friend Benjamin Deery in the show, and since his character likes his alcohol…. Bendeery English Ale was born. And has become the show’s drink of choice.

And now, apparently, it’s also the logo for shady dudes manipulating the side of a truck in the season opener.

Roaches

The roaches are actually the Vrellnexians, an alien race that debuted in the comics in the 70s. They’re an interesting choice because they aren’t a whole lot like what we’ve seen on the show.

In the comics, these “roaches” have ships capable of interdimensional travel, they buy and trade with other races, and they even attempted to conquer Asgard once. They only appear in a handful of comics, so most avid fans wouldn’t recognize the name right away, but they have their own “paradigm,” as stated in one comic:

Every single action by every single organism causes reality to diverge within its own phenomenal field, creating interference patterns between adjoining fields.”

So, when Virgil says they’re an “anomaly,” he might be referencing that what we’re seeing on the show is part of a split timeline. Time travel has consequences, guys.

May’s knee

That rod through May’s knee? Likely to accommodate the limping Ming-Na Wen was doing as the result of wearing a knee brace post-surgery for an injury she got in season four. According to Natalia Cordova-Buckley, Ming still did most of her own fighting on that leg though.

SPEAR and those people hiding on the moon

The comment about people hiding on the moon was a nice nod to Inhumans and them having Attilan on the moon, but it only made me sad that show wasn’t what I wanted it to be.

SPEAR is a bit of a wink to the audience to the fact that yes, the show is in space, but no, we’re still not going to see SWORD. SWORD, for anyone who is unfamiliar, is the space version of SHIELD in the comics. However, rights to SWORD are murky and might actually rest with FOX as part of their X-Men cache because it originated in X-Men comics and featured mutant characters.

There was actually a group called SPEAR in the comics though. It was a Chinese intelligence group, and it was created after Thanos tried to invade Earth, so bonus points for a possible wink at the coming Infinity War there. They were similar to SHIELD in the kinds of tech they had in the comics, and they even had a floating aircraft, though it was a giant circle, not a helicarrier.

The postcard

We get to see that the postcard is from Fitz, but it’s a postcard from Ontario (presumably, the province in Canada). Either someone in props likes Ontario, or that’s a subtle nod to Department H, which the show did give a nod to way back in season one, if I remember right.

Department H was basically the Canadian version of SHIELD (I’m sensing a theme here). They had offices in Toronto and Ottawa and they were the homebase for the superhero team Alpha Flight.

Alien language

That alien language that Daisy asks Coulson about? Interestingly, it looks like it’s using the Skrull alphabet from the comics, which the show has done before. The Skrull alphabet was used to make notations on the Kree map that we first saw doodles of way back in S1E04, long before Coulson started drawing it.

This is probably more of a nod to the Kree and Skrull history being so linked in the comics than anything else, but I like the consistency of it, especially with the Skrulls being a part of the upcoming Captain Marvel movie and the ancient Kree-Skrull war being the reason the Kree created Inhumans in the first place. #ItsAllConnected, right?

Elena’s hands

Who else thought for sure Yo-Yo was about to lose her hands, if not her arms? In the comics, she actually did.

Yo-Yo, as part of Daisy’s Secret Warriors, went on a mission that ended with both her arms being cut off. She did get cybernetic ones after the fact, and she continued to work with SHIELD. At one point, she was tasked with monitoring New Attilan, and more recently, she saved Daisy in the comics, but might have died? I’m not sure, to be honest. You never know who’s dead in the comics these days.

The bus

Okay, so someone joked that it was the Magic School Bus in Space when a bus floated by as May and Jemma were faced with a destroyed earth. I thought that was cute, but I kind of thought that was more of a reference to May having piloted “the bus” in season one where Skye asked her if flying an alien spaceship was on her bucket list. Full circle.

The Lighthouse

I don’t know if this was intentional, or just a point being made that the space station is a light in a sea of debris, but there is a space station in the comics with the same name. In this case, it was only in a handful of books, and it was the base for the Secret Avengers for a short time.

Hala

In case anyone was doubting that the blue guys are Kree, Hala was their home planet in the comics, and their capitol city as well. We saw it in Guardians of the Galaxy.

Daisy’s entry point in the Framework

Reusing the Framework as their escape from this space prison in the future is pretty inspired. Daisy’s entry point looks like (and I could be wrong) it might be significant. It looks to be the same spot where audiences got the reveal of Fitz helping someone (AIDA) out of a car when we first saw him there.

Combine that with Fitz’s postcard, the places in the Framework clearly being from our era, and the news report of Daisy being a hero when Mace declared her a SHIELD asset in season four, and I’d say this version of the Framework is going to be a way to connect the team to Fitz, whether his mind is in there, there’s coded messages, or it’s revealed that he’s the one who set it up on this space colony, Fitz’s stamp is there.

#agents of shield #aos season 5 #aos easter eggs #aos spoilers #marvel easter eggs

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tocxmply-archive · 5 years ago

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ATTENTION, AWARENESS, AND LEARNING [sources: click, click, click, click]

the original plan was to have this as the initial section of my meta about Bucky’s memory (what he remembers vs. what he forgot, essentially) but: 1) i realized that was going to be a massive thing and splitting it might be in my best interest, and 2) memory does not exist without learning and learning does not exist without attention so, really, exploring each step individually might not be a bad idea after all. so here we are. other than the linked sources, this meta will also build on what i have already discussed regarding the process of brainwashing that underlies the functioning of the Winter Soldier: here. on the other hand, whereas the topic of this meta is not memory, all of these cognitive processes are deeply enmeshed and therefore do not exist as categorically separated as this text may make them look like --- these are conceptual separations only (despite the little fancy numbered topics, i end up talking of attention + learning + memory all at the same time), and a degree of overlap will always exist between the two metas.

1. ATTENTION starting with the concept that we cannot learn about what we do not pay attention to, then it makes all the sense to ask: what does the Winter Soldier pay attention to? and the answer is: to whatever HYDRA commands him to. the hypnosis protocols (explored in the brainwashing meta) have the purpose, exactly, to fixate his attention on fulfilling the mission goal(s), whatever they may be, at expense of everything else --- which, in turn, means that if, he’s not paying attention to, say, his surroundings and the people who are with him, he won’t be able to learn about, and posteriorly remember, this sort of details.

this brings me to the “i remember all of them” line in “Captain America: Civil War” --- which Sebastian Stan himself has already stated was something Bucky said in the spur of the moment, something that Tony wanted to hear while having him literally in a choke-hold. no, he doesn’t remember all of them, much as this is a heartbreaking line with big cinematic impact. i personally headcanon that Bucky remembers Howard Stark, based on the fact that this is someone he met and got to know in the 40s --- which is information that comes from the long-term memory, not equally affected by the mind wiping + cryostasis as short-term memory (which i shall explore in more detail in the memory meta). even so, it’s not clear recollection --- more like remembering what that particular mission was about, and remembering faces that, back then, the Soldier could not recognize but that, in retrospect, he’s able to make sense of. i also headcanon that a similar logic applies to the mission referenced in “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, where Natasha talks of how he shot the man she was guarding through her, and it applies as well to the highway scene in the same movie. for these three missions, long-term knowledge and/or an intense emotional tone allowed for the Soldier’s attention to be highly focused on Howard/ Natasha/ Steve respectively, spanning beyond what the hypnosis protocol dictates. nonetheless, memories of these missions are fragmented and he remembers the associated emotions that these three persons evoked, more than any coherent dialogue or details of that moment.

in regard to the other targets/ missions, Bucky remembers conceptual information essentially (e.g., the target’s name, what day it was, what the mission briefing required him to do), considering that these targets held no previous meaning to him. because these conceptual details were what his attention was focused on. so, for example, he may be able to remember who was the target assassinated on a specific day and in which way this was done, but he won’t be able to remember what the person was wearing or what their face looked like or who were the handlers for that mission. not only he didn’t pay attention to these details but they would have been wiped in post-mission, anyway. the only memory traces that stay are those which already existed and those that HYDRA allowed him to effectively learn --- and these, again, are reduced to information that was necessary for carrying out the mission successfully.

what consequences does all of this have, once Bucky breaks free from HYDRA? first, what he was allowed to pay attention to is what he is now able to remember, as discussed. and then, it means that his attention span undergoes a big change as soon as it’s “free”, so to speak. now he doesn’t have anyone dictating what to pay attention to --- and, whereas this is a good thing, it also implies that the world is suddenly perceived as chaotic. because now he’s suddenly aware of everything that the Soldier never noticed --- he perceives faces and colors and shapes and sensations and all else, and this can easily get overwhelming (even the good things).

again, i will complement/ explore this better in the memory meta, but this is why, in post-HYDRA, Bucky struggles with actions that require short-term and working memory --- not only because these brain areas were affected by the wiping, but because his span of attention itself is all over the place. not in the sense of attention deficit disorder, per se, but because there is so much stimulation happening at the same time that he isn’t used at all to be aware of (and now add to this the fact that he is also a man out of his time, as much as Steve, and there is so much to learn anew in this modern world). depending on his general state of mind, his coping may vary from dissociation (just downright shut down everything because he currently has no mental energy to process any of it, so he withdraws instead) to actively trying to process the information he’s being given (and try to understand and make sense of it, and currently being mentally stable enough to pay attention and learn and keep up with all of it).

nonetheless, this process will frequently be a bumpy one. for example, he will try to pay attention to everything and, in the end, retain none of it exactly because he was so scattered, or he will (consciously or not) direct his attention to one thing only and everything else that is going on will go completely over his head. with this said, and roleplay-wise, you should expect things like your muse having to repeat something before he actually gets it and commits it to memory, or that he won’t be able to follow what your muse is talking about if there is a lot being conveyed in a short period of time (because, by the time your muse finishes, he’s already forgotten what was said at the start, or, instead, he focused on what was said first and didn’t follow anything else), or that your muse expects him to be paying attention but in the meantime something else captured his interest and, by the time your muse realizes, Bucky has gone over to the other side of the street to pet this cute cat while leaving your muse talking alone. exceptions to this are situations that are an actual mission or resembling of it, aka situations with a very well defined goal and where he has very clear instructions to adhere to --- exactly because this is what he was trained, for 70 years, to focus on and pay attention to.

2. AWARENESS again. awareness and attention are two conceptually different things --- but with a great degree of overlapping and interdependence. awareness, in particular, refers to directly knowing and perceiving, feeling or being cognizant of events. it’s the state of being conscious of something. so... is it possible to pay attention without being aware? technically yes, and i see this as a particularity of the Winter Soldier, actually. because if you ask him, during a mission: what is your target doing right now? --- he knows, he’ll tell you, because he is paying attention to said target. but is he aware of what he’s doing, as in, does he realize he’s about to kill a human being and what this implies at every level? he isn’t. he’s doing it because he was commanded to do it, and weapons don’t question the hand that pulls the trigger. this is possibly the most drastic change that happens in post-HYDRA, because he finally becomes aware --- finally regains a sense of being conscious of his actions (and shoutout to Sebastian’s terrific acting at the end of that helicarrier scene in CA:TWS, because with his eyes only he can so clearly depict this change --- this moment when the Soldier becomes aware of what he is doing to Steve). and let me redirect to another of my previous metas, re: the dehumanization of the Winter Soldier, because this shift in awareness relies entirely on the human being vs. weapon/asset mindsets: here.

in post-HYDRA, then, this comes laced with everything i already discussed about attention. the increased capacity to pay attention to the world, once the hypnosis protocol is discontinued, comes hand-in-hand with this rise in awareness --- paying attention to the sunlight like you never did before, and being aware that sunlight feels warm on your skin and being aware that, in turn, this is a pleasant sensation. unlike attention, however, gaining awareness brings Bucky a whole lot more demons to deal with --- because it makes him conscious of what the Soldier has done and what it implies and, at the same time, it makes him conscious of what was done to him --- and this dichotomy fuels a very toxic, very difficult to undo, cycle of guilt/shame vs. paranoia. on the other hand, whereas i don’t want to go into much detail about empathy right now, this also allows him to grow very compassionate and very mindful of his actions --- because he knows what the Soldier is capable of, and because he never wants any of it to happen again as far as he can help it. which is why, for example, in my writing post- CA:TWS, a pervasive theme is that Bucky is way more scared of the harm that he can potentially do to others than what can be done to him.

and a smol extra note, once more based on Seb’s acting because this man’s body language is a heavens-sent: despite everything state above, i don’t personally believe that the Winter soldier is completely unaware of what he’s doing. this is speculative, obviously, and no more than my own headcanon, but i really don’t think he is. he’s trained to not question it, and most of the time he doesn’t actively question it (possibly, the only time this happens is the whole “the man on the bridge” moment), but he’s not completely ruthless either --- on the contrary. the highway scene in CA:TWS is a perfect example, because we can see how uncaring he is re: his own well-being (hopping off the rail like he does and landing on that car like a ton of bricks, with zero care for his own body), but we don’t see him shooting/massacring any civilians even though he so easily could. he’s solely focused on Black Widow at that point and, yes, this is likely because it’s what the hypnosis protocol dictates his attention be given to, but i personally believe it also comes out of an unconscious desire to do no harm --- that belongs not to the Soldier, but to James Buchanan Barnes.

3. LEARNING so... i actually feel like there isn’t much left to say about this topic in particular, given how i have already been tapping at it during the two previous ones. the Winter Soldier’s learning relies on two big strategies: classical/ Pavlovian conditioning and operant conditioning (both of which i have explored in the brainwashing meta). and a whole lot of repetition, till he learns what HYDRA wants him to learn --- and anything else he casually/ autonomously learns and that is considered unnecessary is taken care of via mind wiping. the biggest implication of this is that, in post-HYDRA, Bucky is a bit like a child learning about the world for the first time. not only he’s in a modern world where so much is new and he doesn’t know about it, but his learning process relies basically only in association of stimuli + punishment or reinforcement. in post-HYDRA, he starts doing trial-and-error in an autonomous manner, he starts doing vicarious learning (i.e., learning through observing other people), he starts learning things by accident in the sense that he wasn’t even trying to but it happened anyway, he starts learning by imitating and doing what others do.

which brings me to another roleplay thing, and one that i often joke about but that, in fact, happens for real --- the fact that all this makes Bucky rather gullible. for example, he will see some modern contraption that he never got to see/use before and he logically won’t have a clue about it, and he will likely believe what he’s told about it --- because he has no other reference, because he trusts the person who’s telling him this, because this is how he’s learned things for the past decades. he’s used to being taught, more than to learn on his own, and he’s used to the things he’s taught being the only truth that matters, in typical HYDRA fashion. the difference is that he now is aware of what he’s being told, so if you tell him “go and assassinate the prime-minister” he will obviously know what this is about and why this isn’t a good idea, to say it mildly. also, this doesn’t make him completely oblivious, in the sense of believing everything he’s told blindly and without a sense of criticism --- because, yes, he’s got a shitty memory but he can sill use logic and rationality --- so if you tell him to cook a sundae in the microwaves he’ll tell you to go screw yourself, because sundae is ice cream and ice cream melts. on the other hand, popular references are the thing that confuse him the most and that are hardest to learn, exactly because they don’t carry this inherent sense of concrete logic --- so if you tell him that YEET! is the new way to say good morning nowadays, chances are he’ll start telling it to everyone from there on until he’s taught properly about it.

to conclude, i just wanna mention yet again the connection with attention --- because the limitations i have already discussed obviously have an impact on Bucky’s capacity to learn, in post-HYDRA. generally speaking, this capacity is reduced when compared to the Soldier --- not due to brain damage, but because the Soldier was exceptionally prepared, through hypnosis, to learn any minimal details deemed necessary (for example, this is how he learned the 16 new languages that add to English and German that he already knew). so, it’s not like he now sucks at learning, rather it was the Soldier that was (forced to be) way above the standard level. now in normal conditions, this capacity is more scattered and it fluctuates along with his span of attention --- which, in turn, fluctuates along with his mental health status. but he is a curious person and he wants to improve and to learn more, either on his own or with help, and this intrinsic motivation is very important when it comes to adapting to a new life/new world.

#long post #「ᵐᵉᵗᵃ」ʷᶤᵖᵉ ʰᶤᵐ ᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗ ᵒᵛᵉʳ

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gleefail · 4 years ago

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Glee Memories: 1x15 The Power of Madonna

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x15 The Power of Madonna heeee, Sue just referenced Desperately Seeking Susan. Man, I loved that movie as a kid. Who’s That Girl as well anybody remember that one?!

hahaha, how have I never noticed before that Quinn is drawing a picture of Rachel Berry…a very unflattering picture that says “LOSER”? Awesome.

hahaha. Jesse and Rachel ‘hypothetically’ went to a Wiggles concert. Seriously, he’s kinda perfect for her.

Aw – The Montage from A Chorus Line is playing under Jesse’s pressure-her-into-sex moment. I have such fond memories of that song. I was featured in this song for a show that ended up changing the course of my entire life, quite literally. :)

“Would you please stop talking? You’re grossing out my baby.”

“But I can’t wait to get a guy mad at me for saying ‘no’.” Bite your tongue, Mercedes. Also…be careful what you wish for.

Still creeps me out that they have this whole sex talk with Mr. Schue in the room. And that he eavesdrops. And that when he speaks up it’s to ask if they’re having that much ‘guy trouble’, not to actually be a good teacher and help Rachel out in her “my boyfriend’s pressuring me to have sex but I’m not ready” situation or to respond to Britany and Santana’s advice to just never say no and that they should have more self-respect…teacher of the year indeed.

Do women really still earn 70 cents to every dollar a man does for the same job? Oh, eff that!

More Emma pamphlets: HELP! I’m in love with my stepdad! I still breastfeed …but how old is too old? Congratulations, you’re pregnant. Proper Wiping: Easy as 1…2…3 …and something about Toxic Shock Syndrome and Asperger’s that I can’t read, lol.

Ugh, douche. Will just said this area of expertise (sex) is Emma’s blindspot. Jerk.

So Glee seems to have a knack for insulting folks that will later be guest stars. Gwyneth Paltrow and John Stamos have been mentioned thus far, and Lindsay Lohan just made the list. Hmmm…

I love the Ann Coultier jab. Cause I despise that ‘woman’

Ray of Light routine on stilts. Still leaves me speechless. My favorite part is still when the men on stilts do these assisted lifts with women who are not. They get them so effing high. It’s just amazing.

“Somehere on the English countryside in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping.”

“Hall of fame MILF”

HA! Artie’s look in response to Tina giving him side-eye. Too funny.

Finn has no idea what misogynistic means. #BlessFinnsHeart

Kurt is gonna do a video of Madonna’s styles. With Mercedes. Kurtcedes love. :)

Yeah, I find it hard to believe high school boys wouldn’t be rubbin’ one out at these girls in corsets, touchin’ themselves and bein’ a little S&M with one another. Even if they hate Madonna with a passion. Their disinterest is completely unrealistic.

Britany has a (younger presumably as she plays soccer with a 7 year old) sister. Forgot about that. I think RIB did too.

The way to get a man forever is to take his virginity? Really? I would think that would unleash him into a sexual awakening and sleeping with everything he could now that he wouldn’t be perceived as ‘lame’ or a loser or whatever for being a virgin…no?

Finnocence. Nice.

Can we acknowledge that Finn lost his virginity in a plot for Santana to snag a younger man (by what, 4 days I think she said?) to emulate Madonna per Sue and not get kicked off the Cheerios? That’s…just so sad.

“You’re about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid.” – ha!

So…watching this post-Nationals, does Emma get to have Madonna playing in her office now? ;)

Finn’s pissed that Rachel lied to him and didn’t really break it off with Jesse. Evs. Mind ya business, Finn.

So because he’s jealous or his ego is hurt or whatever, Finn tells Rachel if her and Jesse leads to something bad for the entire Glee club not to expect anymore friendship from him. Um…yeah. I’d marry him a year or two later. Cause…clearly he’ll be there through rough times…douche. Selfish, childish douche.

I still really like this mash-up of Borderline/Open Your Heart. And as much as I don’t love Finchel, the angst in this is my cup o’ tea. I like it.

I do love all the Madonna shout-outs in the hallway. Makes me feel old that I recognize each of these looks. Oy.

Finn, why are you just randomnly tearing books from the shelves and knocking them to the floor as you walk through the library? Such a badass…

I was watching an episode of Gilmore Girls and Brad was the piano player for one of Emily Gilmore’s parties (I think Rory’s college grad party). Hilarious. Also, he looked EXACTLY the same. How long ago was that?!

I find it awesome that Mercedes has a picture of a gal from So You Think You Can Dance in her locker. I love that show.

Up With People rejects. Ha.

Hmm. Will is suddenly not intimidated at all by Sue and her quips. What brought that on? Although, it’s hot when he stands up to her. Until he makes fun of her hair. Then he seems like a jerk.

“Oh, snap!” I love this moment. And the gif that came out of it.

Birth moment of the Sue, Kurt, Mercedes dynamic right there. Yay. :)

Sue just told Kurt and Mercedes about her sister being handicapped. I don’t care what anyone says, she likes them, even just a little bit. And I love this dynamic of the three of them. It always makes me smile.

Hahaha – Kurt’s reaction to Sue not being able to keep up with the latest looks when she was younger. Hilarious.

“Mercedes is black. I’m gay. We make culture.”

“I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section for our clandestine meeting because only he can express my melonchalia.”

“You deserve epic romance.” Listen. Looking back from the end of Season 3, I really am not understanding why I’m supposed to want Rachel with Finn. Jesse makes so much more sense.

“Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp.” Oh Emma. A for effort.

Vogue. Man. I was so little when this came out. I remember when it premiered on MTV.

Jane Lynch has such long legs. I’m jealous.

“Will Schuester. I hate you.”

Like A Virgin still makes me really uncomfortable. For so many reasons. I just…don’t need to see this side of any of these characters. I feel like a voyeur.

How did Santana and Finn swing a motel room at 15 years old? Hmm….

Add Whoopi to that list of joked about future guest stars. Yeesh…that’s 5 now? 4? Stamos, Paltrow, Lohan and Goldberg.

Sue is gonna reinvent Kurt and Mercedes. Squee!

Why is Rachel looking at sheet music for Where Is Love? Cause 1. I hate that song, 2. I hate that show, and 3. shoutout to the pilot?

Finn just asked Rachel how her date with Jesse went. With the subtext of “did you sleep with him?” WHY are they even talking about this? I don’t get it. It’s private Finn, so rude you’d even ask. Also, how does he even know they are even close to sex? I missed something. This is so weird. Made even more weird that neither of them seems to think it’s weird that they’re having this conversation. Ugh.

“Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it.” Jesse is ridiculously perfect for Rachel Berry.

Okay, I’m gonna rant for a second: I know I’m anal and put him on a pedestal and all, but S3, they make it sound like Sam had sex with one of his clients at the strip club; after they’ve shoved super-romantic in-love-with-Mercedes Sam at us for like, 9 episodes in a row over a span of like, 3 or 4 months; regardless of how I personally feel about that or that ship, right now we see a super uncomfortable scene that still breaks my heart where Finn is dealing with the aftermath of sleeping with Santana, when he has feelings for someone else, but more in that he doesn’t have feelings for her, therefore it didn’t mean anything and it’s clearly not sitting well with him. Regret is all over his face. It’s so sad. So…why did they do the same thing but expect it to be okay in S3 regarding Sam (but even more gross cause of the whole stripper/client aspect)? Eff you, Glee.

I feel like this might be the most real and vulnerable I’ve ever seen Santana (in the post-coital conversation with Finn in the motel room bed). I mean…a couple moments may rival it, but it’s definitely top 5 if not top 3. It’s so sad to see how she really feels about this aspect of her life that publicly she seems so proud of and invincible to. Man. Poor Santana.

Um…is Puck playing Ninja in the background or just being a human statue or something? It doesn’t look like anyone is playing with him, so it must be the latter? Random.

Something changed in the way I felt about Glee after this episode, now that I look back on it. I felt like I should’ve left this episode feeling like “wow – they’re ballsy and go against the grain! They’ll do the unexpected” but…instead I was left with a feeling of “do I trust these writers with these people I’ve come to care about?” I’m referring to the possibility of consummation with 3 couples, 2 of which would have seemed…not completely unhealthy and one that obviously was…and they had those 2 chicken out and consummated the 1 that just shouldn’t have because it was kind of an irresponsible message to send to the youngins watching this show who they say at times they speak to when they write things like Kurt’s gay storyline or about being an outcast but finding a group that understands you and being happy with who you are. But here I’m sure they’d say something about how they’re not role models and shouldn’t be emulated. Yeah. This was the beginning of the end of my true love for Glee and the beginning of me just loving certain characters and occasional episodes or storylines…the beginning of my love to hate Glee. Whee. :/

It’s cute that Will polished Emma’s shoes. :)

I know a lot of people think it’s condescending and all, but I think the way Will handles suggesting counseling etc. to Emma was nice. There’s something mature about it. I think it’s that he’s like “we need to take action to work through our issues or they’re not gonna go away” as a team. It was nice.

“What the hell? It seems like now people are doing things JUST to hurt my feelings!” Ok, so maybe Finn IS more perfect for Rachel than I thought. Selfish little man-child.

Jesse St. James just joined New Directions. Kurt is pissed cause it means he’ll have no chance at a solo. Mercedes mentions that they only trot her out at the end of songs to wail on the last note, how is that okay? Truth.com. Also, why were those two issues NEVER addressed by Will? They were put out there, they were true as hell, and they were just ignored. Teacher of the year indeed.

Santana points out that obvs Jesse is a spy. Mr. Schue sticks up for Jesse and lets him join. Yet Rachel wasn’t allowed to date him cause that would be bad for the Glee club? #WTF?

“Mr. Schue, is he your son?”

“Okay, from the top!”

4 Minutes. Seriously, I never thought Chris Colfer was hot before I saw this song. But let’s be real – he is hot as fuck in this song, I still think so. It was the first time I noticed as well that boy had grown into a little man! When did THAT happen? Wasn’t he just a baby-faced nugget like, 3 episodes before this?

Also, I love both of the vocals for them on this song.

Ok. This still pisses me off (can you tell this is an ep that started my rage towards Glee? Lol): Emma, Mr. Schue and Rachel are all distraught and shocked when they see that Mercedes and Kurt have joined the Cheerios…WHY? Britany and Santana are already on the Cheerios and in Glee and it’s fine. Quinn was. Why is this such a betrayal? They didn’t QUIT ND to join the Cheerios. And isn’t Rachel in like, 16 clubs in addition to Glee? Puck, Finn, Mike and Matt are on the football team. Artie has jazz band and AV club. Mercedes and Kurt and Tina are the only ones who are ONLY in Glee Club. This is stupid.

Shot of Quinn who is happy as a pig in shit for the two of them. THANK YOU Quinn for having sense and being a cool person and good friend.

“You guys could’ve at least given me a heads up.” “You mean, the same you way you gave us a heads up before NOT giving us a solo almost every week?” PREACH!!

You expect me to believe that the sexuality of Express Yourself, Artie working on that kick-ass Vogue video, or that amazing performance of 4 Minutes didn’t sway the boys to like Madonna…but their shitty rendition of “What It Feels Like For A Girl” did? Fuck you, Glee. I’m not an idiot. Stop treating me like one.

Why is Kurt a part of this lesson on treating the girls with respect? 1. He’s into Madonna, so he doesn’t need to be converted. 2. He’s NOT treating the girls like garbage. Teacher of the year indeed.

“I think we’re gonna need a new baritone cause Finn would like to become Finnessa”

“My growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality.”

Kurt mentions he’s an honorary girl. Again, WHY is he a part of this lesson?

AW. It just broke my heart a little that Tina said to Artie “why would you propose when you don’t even like me?” Aw. Poor Tina.

Alright, I admit, I love that whoever wrote this ep finally ended this nonsense with Finn being all pissed at Rachel for dating Jesse like she did something wrong and made him realize why she was even single to be pursued by Jesse in the first place. Kudos…whoever you are cause they didn’t credit the writer or director on this ep (the fuck?).

“Sing off. The parking lot. 5:00. Be there.” “No…”

“Frankly, I need you. I’m tired of carrying the male vocals all by myself.” Oh, FUCK. YOU. Finn! (I say on behalf of Kurt, Artie, and Puck).

Kurt just sang his first itty bitty solo in Glee club and then before Mercedes starting singing he ran up and gave her a peck on the cheek. Oh my God, I love them.

Gospel choir. So. Effing. Random. Yet so. Effing. EPIC.

SOLOS: Rachel (4), Mercedes (3), Finn (3), Emma (1), Santana (1), Will (1), Jesse (1), Kurt (2)

#Glee Memories #Glee #lol Glee #Glee The Power of Madonna

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