#overall there's a lot to improve on but its a start!

[soupsandstars]

Its Bitsy Spider - some Leader Boards

[this-isnt-oish]

really late art summary 2024... :,3

the template!

[puppppppppy]

Atla live action 😐

[lollytea]

I do love the netflix avatar in my own way because it provides me with enrichment in the same way brain puzzles do for chimps. Like something is WRONG here and it's your very special job to figure out why! And then you will get juice reward!!

[theveil-and-thepath]

Montly PAC n°1: This will happen next month

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

You can pick more than one! Just follow your heart!

What will happen in December 2024? Or the next month of whenever you find this reading?

*This is a source of entertainment, your destiny is in your hands.*

Pile 1

■Ten of Cups , The High Priestess , The Lovers , Six of Cups , Six of Pentacles.■Key , Fox , House , Dog , Bear.■Mercury in sagittarius in the 8th house.■Week 1: Crossroad , Fish , Heart. - DIAMOND: Gift of jewelry.■Week 2:Sun , Mountain , Garden.- TABLE: Favorable period for you■Week 3:Coffin , Man , Moon.- GRASSHOPPER: Situations in the balance that require careful handling.■Week 4: Bouquet , Tree , Birds. - ROSE: Romance is in the air.

■ Cards were drawn from the Divination Table

■ Next month is a time of blessings! You shall have reconciliations with all whom you wish back into your life and your relationships will improve as well.

■ Family time will be overall favorable for you the entire month. You may receive financial help from generous hands of loved ones.

■ You may meet your siblings, cousins or dear friends.

■ Your intuition and psychic abilities will increase and deepen. You may write channeled messages or feel inspired to write about philosophical topics.

■ You may have to solve a tricky family situation, you have the knowledge or resources on how to do it and you'll have to be extra smart and anticipate people's intentions and next moves. Perhaps you're dealing with older and wiser people who "argue" or "fight" better than you do, but amongst them you may have one friend, or you'll have the intervention of someone who'll assist you in dealing with an overbearing parent or a proud authority figure.

■ In the first week, you'll become richer. Your paycheck will be more than double the usual amount, you may receive a bonus or an advancement in pay. A loved one may gift you or announce the gift they will give you and its either super fancy or an expensive item they'll help you purchase. This will be done with a lot of love. The money you receive will allow you more freedom on big choices in your life, it may cover financial holes and allow you to move on freely in your path. Very good pay week.

■ The second week will be a happy one. You'll move ahead on your goals,see how far you've come. You may have joyful encounters or get together at work or with friends. Good for networking, working, and solidifying existing connections. You'll feel great full.

■ In the 3rd week you will have to deal or face a situation with a man who had left your life or with whom you had been having little contact. It can be an ex, or someone you had a small disagreement with. Be careful with everyone's sensibilities, but also care for your emotions. Try to be grounded, remember the good and solid things in you life, and walk slowly. You may be more pensive or introspective. I don't see open fights nor arguments, but it'll require tact.

■ The final week of the month brings a peace offering, or a good outcome of what you had to deal with. Family gatherings, conversations, thoughtful small gifts. Some people may find new love, or have a great and romantic time with your current partner (or with whoever you willingly reconciled with). Some of you can start a new relationship or be proposed to. You open your heart, and open up in conversation.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Pile 2

The Fool , Eight of Cups , The World , Six of Swords , Seven of Pentacles■Bear , Snake , Coffin , Mountain , Woman■Neptune in pisces in the 8th house■Week 1: Stars , Fox , Sun. - PIG: Beware of greed.■Week 2: Fish , Child , Fox. - FEATHER: Someone you know is undependable, insincere.■Week 3: Clover , Tree , Heart. - OLDER WOMAN: Dealings or relationship with an older woman.■Week 4: Whip , Clouds , Woman. - DOLPHIN: Financial gain. Usually coming from something you did in the past.

■ Cards were drawn from the Divination Table

■ There is a moving on and moving ahead theme for you next month. You can leave your country, state, city, family. This can be about a vacation, but it's also about your freedom! Pluto in aquarius may be interacting with your birth chart.

■ You leave behind a shady and proud and overbearing person. You chase your own fulfillment no matter the time, effort, and obstacles faced it takes for you to become your best self or accomplish your highest goals.

■ It's about a process of becoming and of long term goals.

■ Be aware of dark energy around you so you don't absorb it. Watch out for negative thoughts, they are whispers from deep waters that aren't to be taken at face value! Don't let your shadow control you, don't have delusions either.

■ You can feel a thinner veil with spirituality, make sure it's good influence.

■ For week 1 you got the advice: chase your highest dreams because you'll reach them, but be very smart about them and don't bite more than you can currently chew.

■ In the second week you may feel you're standing in unstable ground and what you have is nothing but the beginning if an abundant life. You'll be aware of how careful you need to be, nurture yourself and you'd goals as you would tend to a newborn in your arms.

■ In the third week, some of you will be blessed with your grandmother, mother, or feminine spiritual guide or family member. Your ancestry of female line or feminine entities will bring you a strike of luck, or you'll realize how deeply loved you truly are by them and how rare this love is. Thus can refer to people who have passed away.

■ Finally, I do think you'll be paid either due to this lucky strike of rhe previous week or due to something you've done before. A woman you know may help clear your doubts or uncertainties about the future. You may be thinking "where do I stand" with a woman in your life, thinking of her role, just don't overthink for nothing, avoid making confusions worse for no reason.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Pile 3

Strength , Five of Pentacles , Eight of Pentacles , Seven of Cups , Wheel of Fortune■Bouquet , Sun , Bear , Woman , Rider■Jupiter in scorpio in the 11th house■Week 1: Scythe , Stork , Birds. - BIRD-FLYING: News is on the way.■Week 2: Mice , Scythe , Man. - MOON: Changes in your life.■Week 3: Ring , Birds , Snake. - CRIB: Birth or conception of a child or enterprise.■Week 4: Clover , Lily , Stork. - CARRIAGE: A journey either physically or mentally.

■Cards were drawn from the Divination Table

■ A powerful woman may offer you a job that will improve your situation and define your fate.

■ Sorry this is short, but there's a rich woman here. If that's you, then you'll greatly chanfe someone's life. If not, then I believe you'll be greatly assisted.

■ You'll have an upgrade you only dreamed of before.

■ Some friends may be jealous of your success or of the fact you're closer to your dreams.

■ Dude... You'll receive good news NOW! A swift message or rumor of positive evebt reaches your ears and may change your situation for the better in the 1st week of the month.

■ Then, say bye-bye to a man who's been a leach in your life. This person (or situation) has no room in your life, baby. For some people, it's another man who'll enable you or help you transition somehow.

■ You start a new partnership, job, or venture with a powerful person or organization from whom you'll learn a lot.

■ Finally, a sudden new year vacation. Or a lucy trip that leads you yo your destiny.

■ Somehow, in some aspect of your life, you'll find yourself this month.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Pile 4

Ten of Pentacles , Ten of Swords , The Lovers , King of Swords , The Magician■Ring , Whip , Book , House , Stars■Moon in capricorn in the 4th house■Week 1: Ship , Woman , Tree. - PIG: Beware of greed■Week 2: Dog , Clover , Sun. - CLOUDS: Temporary problems.■Week 3: Clover , Ring , Mice. - KANGAROO: Unsettled times. Need to plan ahead.■Week 4: Rider , Fish , Birds. - BARREL: You feel something is lacking in your life. Could be love, money, goals.

■Cards were drawn from the Divination Table

■ There is a restructuring in your home or family or in your close relationships.

■ One thing ends to give way to a new thing that also emerges this month.

■ You meet the right person, finds the right house. There are emotional and actual changes in what you hold close to you.

■ If a family member is cold, too smart, or keeps secrets, and you're bound to them, soon you may no longer be.

■ You're capable of manifesting your dream life. You'll do it. Others may appear to create with you, bit YOU will do it.

■ In the first week you may work with a female family member or older woman. Don't ask for too much money, don't ask for more than what you truly want because she will perceive it if you're asking for more just because you think she/they can pay you.

■ The second week may be slightly annoying with small things that you need to solve, you have some anxiety of how things will turn out. Ultimately, you solve everything you need with the help of your friends!

■ The third week is the one in which you realize who's the shady person or what's been holding you back. You plan on how to deal with it in the future because you realize these people or situations won't change

■ I think you end the month having clarity of what you desire. You pay attention to what others have, but this isn't a toxic nor envious comparison. You may talk about your money goals with friends. You may set your eyes on a new potential love interest.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

im sorry this might not be the place to ask for advice/help but im doomscrolling about the news and the soon to be president and im seeing so much to be scared shitless about, invasions, removal of vaccines, cost of living increases, revoking of trans rights and how it might make it all the more impossible to get the surgeries i wanted... its just too fucking scary to breathe right now what do i do with myself

Hey, Anon. I'm here. A lot of us are here right with you.

It's scary, to be sure. And I'm not going to sugarcoat the possibilities of things going south very quickly. So, let's jump into some survival tactics.

This post on burnout is a great place to start. There is a lot of overlap with burnout and the anxiety you're feeling.

Allow yourself to slow down and unplug. You are allowed to step away from the news cycle -- events out of your control will unfold regardless.

Don't feel guilty by letting yourself relax. I find it especially helpful to do activities that don't involve the internet -- I've been decorating my house, mending broken crockery, and sketching some embroidery ideas. I try to take the time to get dressed and groomed every day, to remind myself that I matter. I spend more time outdoors.

As you find the ability to relax, you'll be able to focus better on the things you can do to be resilient. Things I have been doing to improve myself and make me a better helper:

Staying on top of my medical appointments and any preventive care I can do

Working to be physically healthier overall to mitigate future medical issues

Getting all my paperwork in order, including passports

Tweaking my financial budget

Researching what estate & family documentation needs to be done to protect my relationship in case my marriage gets dissolved

Brushing up on job skills, getting new certifications to stay competitively employable

Stocking up on my medical and general emergency supplies, especially for bad weather events

Getting in the habit of mindful purchases, curbing my habit of impulse shopping

Selling things I don't want or need anymore to have a little extra money and be able to move house easier, if need be

Building a habit of fixing/maintaining my possessions instead of trashing broken things

Canceling online subscriptions and quitting social networks that make me feel in danger

Getting my personal and any queer-related files out of the cloud and onto redundant solid state drives

Downloading / printing out queer resources and buying queer art that may be banned or monitored in the future

Enjoying physical media again and hunting for old favorites

Keeping in touch with queer friends and allies and making plans in case people (even myself) need to flee

Being visible when I can and knowing when it's best to lay low

Allowing myself the luxury to dig into things Old Me would have saved for "special" events -- aka, wearing the nice clothes and eating off the fine china as an everyday thing

Shutting the fuck up, especially online, when I think my words could be used against me

In a way, I am trying to simply become a better version of myself, one who is calm & self-sufficient, mindful about his actions, and available to help those in need. It sucks that the driving factor is fear, but I intend to use that fear as a catalyst to be stronger and survive.

There is a lot to be done, but there was always going to be work, new regime or not. But please, start with that burnout article so you can jump into your own plans with new hope and energy. ❤️

[4theitgirls]

hii <3 i absolutely love all your workout posts soo soo much <3 thank u for them ! i just had a request if you could make a post about a weekly plan for beginners ? like someone who's just recently starting exercising for weight loss and overall health as a student who's prepping for a national exam , ive spent the entirety of 2024 on my desk , its caused me back issues , weight gain , joint pain and more , now that i finally have time i'd love to feel healthy and strong again <3 it would be a huge huge help if you post it <33 thank u a million times

hi lovely! i’m so glad my posts have helped you. most of the videos i’m going to be posting in the near future are likely going to be beginner friendly because i have had a flare up of inflammation in my shoulder, so i will not be going too hard for a bit. the videos that will work for you will vary from mine and anyone else’s, so the actual videos you do are really up to you and how you’re feeling day to day. however, i can suggest a split for you to try and give you some tips and channel recommendations!

split:

monday: full body strength

- if you have joint issues, strength training can definitely help with that! just make sure that you are doing low-impact exercises to keep pressure off of your joints. madfit and heather robertson have a lot of these types of videos, both with equipment and without! you can also do pilates for this if you feel it will benefit you better, and i have a beginner pilates routine masterlist posted.

tuesday: cardio & mobility

- same as monday, just be sure that you are doing low-impact exercises for cardio. i have a masterlist for cardio routines as well in case you need some recommendations. for mobility, i recommend heather robertson and julia.reppel on youtube. mobility is great for improving joint health!

wednesday: lower body

- you can really do any form of strength training here, with or without weights, pilates, etc. i have a lower body masterlist up as well, but i would recommend trying some mat/lying workouts to build up some muscle before moving into more intense exercises for lower body day. i have a couple of those masterlists posted as well!

thursday: active recovery

- this can include so many things, including mobility, stretching, yoga, walking, or anything else you can do that is gentle on your body. again, i love heather robertson’s active recovery routines.

friday: upper body

- if you have joint issues in your upper body, i would be gentle on upper body days, meaning just don’t push yourself too hard and if a movement doesn’t feel good or causes you pain, stop. emi wong and hailey c. have great upper body workouts that do not require any equipment.

saturday: cardio & core work

- same thing with the low-impact cardio. core work has so many benefits and is great for stabilizing your spine and, in turn, reducing the risk of injury to your joints. madfit has a lot of ab workouts, but you can really find them on any workout channel you like!

sunday: rest or active recovery

NOTE: please make sure, especially if you’re a beginner, that you are stretching after each workout! this will reduce soreness and risk of injury.

[lua-stellar]

How Do You Need to Decenter Men? Tarot PAC ✨✨

Paid Services Ko-Fi :> Masterlist

A lot of young women these days are learning that men don't have to be the center of their lives, that people are complete without the need of making everything they do about men or a specific man. Because we live in a patriarchal world I think everyone needs to decenter men in some way, even men need to decenter men from their lives! This reading's purpose is to show how you can live a whole and complete, happy life without men being the centre of your universe, and gives you advice to better yourself :)

pile 1

cards drawn: eight of cups, knight of cups, high priestess

So I believe what this reading is communicating is you definently need to focus on you, there might be men(or a man?) in your life who you are giving too much of your time and even if it's hard you need to learn to let go of, and move on from. I get the energy of ending relationships that no longer serve you and bringing in new energy in your life that will overall improve your life.. You need to focus on yourself, and to be more specific, your dreams. Pay attention to opportunities that will benefit you, pay attention to your gut feelings and your intuition. What do you want? What do you need? Now is the best time to listen to your body, intuition and soul. For pile 1 I feel that good things will be coming your way when you pay attention to your dreams and ambition. :)

pile 2

cards drawn: the hierophant, judgement, three of swords,

Getting the energy for pile 2 that however it was that you centre men in your life, it has to do with an ideal you hold. Something to do with perfectionism, the advice this reading is communicating is that you have a second chance and I get the energy that people around you and your spirit guides will be supporting you in this, for you decentreing men in your life will involve heartbreak. It will be a hard decision and painful too, but you need to let go of this ideal and this idea of perfection that you hold. You need to start anew, start living your life in a way where you wont need men and you wont have to feel like you need them in order for you to be happy/live your ideal life. I feel like for pile 2 due to having to let go of an ideal and go through heartbreak, it will be hard but you will be supported in whatever decisions you make, whether by your family or your spirit guides (or both). And in the end this will have a positive outcome and overall make your life happier.

pile 3

cards drawn: four of pentacles, reversed nine of pentacles, reversed nine of swords

This reading I feel is important for some people to hear the message 😓 you are in a point in your life where you are stable, and independent. But your independence is being threatened. You need to stop and realize that NO man is worth your independance, freedom, stability, peace of mind etc. I feel like the people who chose pile 3, alot of you must have someone in your life threatening your independence. I feel like alot of you right now, its not your fault, but the men in your life are making you utterly miserable! But your life will improve, you need to cut out the toxicity in your life and learn that nothing is more valuable than your freedom and independence and your happiness. You must learn to value yourself more than any toxic man thats in your life and making your life worse, you are so much better than that! Things might be hard right now, but it will get better and that starts with centering yourself first!

[snapscube]

hi penny! im sure im not the first person to ask this, but- is there a reason the psychonauts dub didnt pan out? super excited for the kingdom hearts dub!! just curious as to why that particular dub idea wasn't seen through?

it was a few reasons! i honestly just lost a lot of steam for it once i started recording the footage. if i had to guess it was a combination of life circumstances not really being Ideal for me at the time, but also the more obvious setback is just that.... the game doesn't really NEED the fandub treatment??? at all?

not to say that any game ever "NEEDS" our stupid bits layered on top of it in the most literal sense, but there are certain dynamics when it comes to picking a game for the format that i have to take into account. what's the tone of the original work, what is the dialogue pacing like, how story heavy is it even to begin with, etc. Psychonauts has the disadvantage (specifically for dubbing purposes) of being a game that already feels almost like a parody of itself. it's EXTREMELY funny just on its own. RTF as a format, i think, is most effective when the source material's original tone and dramatic weight is juxtaposed with improvisational humor in SOME way. Sonic games have a heightened otherwordly shonen vibe that becomes uncannily hilarious when paired with the inherent candidness of improv. Until Dawn and RE2 are dark, atmospheric horror titles that pair well with improv purely through the GULF in tonal dissonance being inherently funny. Spider-Man is a superhero blockbuster story, and RTF lessens the scope EXCEEDINGLY in incredibly dumb and endearing ways (instead of peter needing an anti-serum to cure a deadly plague ravaging the city, he needs it to keep himself from turning into a table). And so on and so forth.

I basically just ended up feeling like there's really not much we could do to bring value to the project of a Psychonauts dub that wouldn't be energy better spent on games that were a better fit overall. Cause, yknow, at the end of the day these already take SO long to come out. I really gotta be economical with the game choices nowadays.

[honeytonedhottie]

to be a little healthier⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💕

quick disclaimer, i am NOT a doctor and i can only speak from my own experience and things that i've learned and applied. this is from what i researched and i will be linking sources…💬🎀

with that being said in this post im going to be talking about health and wellness tips to stay healthy, glowing and vibrant ✨📔 take care of urself, and lets start

i've been drinking chia seed water in the morning and if ur curious about this i recommend researching but here's what i researched.

this tip i've talked about before on my blog, but drinking herbal teas before bed because of how it improves skin and overall health

drink water on an empty stomach as soon as u wake up

hot water + turmeric + lemon (anti inflammatory properties)

taking a spoonful of honey

a lot of people take honey only when they are sick and need to soothe their throat but honey is so beneficial on its own too. honey is used as an anti-inflammatory, antioxidant and antibacterial agent. here is my source.

another tip i've talked about on my blog but chlorophyll water is rly good for u too and i take mine with some lemon

DRINKING KOMBUCHA

to finish off this post, remember to take ur vitamins, get enough sleep, and smile 💗

[qqueenofhades]

Some individual good things that happened for me in 2024, among all that other Unspeakable Shit:

Paid off a LOT of debt, including some credit card debt that I'd had since literally my undergrad days;

Did the equivalent of two full-time jobs at my usual job while jugging university bullshit and boss nonsense (this was not necessarily good, but at least I did it successfully)

Started a new MA (my mmmmth degree) which will lead to some exciting new career opportunities in a couple years; earned straight As in all my classes/papers;

Settled pretty well into being a Real Adult living on my own and having a grown-up routine and schedule;

Became a halfway decent cook (surprising even myself) and got some new kitchen gadgets, including my beloved new stand mixer;

BOUGHT A NEW MATTRESS (the highlight of my June and/or possibly my entire life, as some of you may remember) which is very luxe and comfortable and a 20000% improvement on my old threadbare stack of bare springs;

Generally cozied up my bed with new comforters, blankets, pillows, sheets, etc;

Read a metric fuckton of books;

Speaking of books, published my fantasy novel, The Empire of Bones!

Went to several theater productions, shows, art galleries, museums, etc (including visiting @mearcatsreturns for a week in March)

Managed to not completely lose my mind over politics, which I think you'll agree is a considerable achievement on its own.

There was a lot of hard stuff, obviously, and I wouldn't say it was a great year, but overall it went okay, at least on the Non-Flaming-Bag-of-Shit-That-Is-The-Larger-World level. And honestly, right now, I think it's better if we don't try to live on that level, because it will drive us all crazy. Especially as 2025 barges through the door like The Shining and we vainly try to fend it off with a broom. We will see.

[thedubiousdallon]

Okay, fuck it, I've built up enough goodwill with this sideblog - let's risk it all by sharing my opinions on how Amy is handled in Ward.

It's kinda complicated I think.

Okay, now that I've resisted the urge to immediately hit post for the bit: I think the way her interludes are written substantially flattens her character in a way that I find distasteful and unpleasant, but I find the overall shape of her arc and her role in the narrative compelling. The things I dislike have been well-covered by plenty of other people in the fandom, so I'm going to focus on the things I like.

To talk about Amy's role in Ward, I first need to talk about my interpretation of Ward as a whole. To me, Ward is, above all else, about trauma and recovery. Society is traumatized by the end of the world, the shards are traumatized by the death of Scion and their loss of purpose, individuals are traumatized by all the things individuals are traumatized by. As an aside, this reading is a big reason why I'm not too bothered by a lot of the world building choices that other people frequently (and fairly) criticize - I think many of them serve this theme effectively.

One specific facet of that reading that I find particularly compelling is Ward's interest in people who are traumatized not just by the harm done to them, but by the harm they've done. Characters don't just regret what they've done, they don't just want to be better, they are traumatized by it, and their reactions to that trauma are as messy and complicated as any other traumatized people. I don't always agree with the stances the text takes on how to deal with having done harm and been traumatized as a result, but I find the exploration of the topic compelling.

Enter The Altruistic Amy Dallon.

Amy's arc in Worm was, to a degree, a prototype of this kind of storytelling. She is repeatedly and horrifically traumatized, the actions she eventually takes in response to that experience inflict equally horrific trauma on her victim, and she is further traumatized by her own actions almost to the point of ego death. She removes herself from the environment she was in, begins rebuilding her sense of identity and ethics, and reemerges having grown, prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations for her past actions as best she can. Arc done! It's satisfying and cathartic, and we leave content in the knowledge that the part she's on will take her to better places. It's the quintessential appeal of a redemption arc, and it's a strong example of its type.

There's something people like to say a lot when talking about mental health and personal growth in real life, and that is that progress isn't linear. It's an important truth to understand.

It's rarely true in fiction. Very often, in redemption arcs, in personal growth arcs, after a series of false starts and setbacks, the character reaches a critical point where they resolve their conflict and either overcome it or succumb to it. From that point on, their nature or behavior is fundamentally changed - if they've grown they never relapse past a certain point, or do so only fleetingly, or else never improve past a certain point. This makes sense from a storytelling perspective, but it doesn't map to how growth often works in real life.

In Ward, Amy occupies the very rare narrative position of being who completes her arc of growth and redemption, who crosses that critical threshold of lasting, meaningful change... but backslides anyway, to the point of essentially losing all that progress.

It's an outcome that I find very believable for her, honestly. Her newfound worldview and conviction were forged in the very insular environment of the Birdcage - of course they would be impacted by her new environment. She says at the end of Ward that she had been able to excuse all of her worst behavior because she had convinced herself that she could fix anything - and at the end of Worm, I can see how she would come to think that! She's been pardoned and released from Forever Prison, she overcame her old aversion to brains to create Khepri and thereby saved the world, she's formed a positive relationship with the father she never thought she'd meet, she's receiving love and support from parents she never felt good enough for, she's using her powers to help people in a way that doesn't make her want to die, and she even "fixed" Victoria, when failing to do that before was the final nail in the coffin she just finished clawing her way out of! The sheer number of seemingly impossible things she's accomplished, of apparently irreversible failures she's seemingly put right, is mind boggling! It'd be the easiest thing in the world to let that go to your head!

Her social circle is also a perfect environment to enable her worst tendencies - there's no one left in it whose opinion she trusts that's willing to call her on her shit. Marquis doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior, Carol is trying to make up for a decade of neglect and unwarranted criticism, Mark just wants everybody to get along and be happy, and Riley and Rinke are pretty shaky on this whole human decency thing themselves! With a (not unjustified) pride in how far she'd come, a circle of willing enablers, a complete lack of moderating influences, and a bulletproof get-out-of-moral-culpability-free card, and two years to spiral, I find her backsliding to be completely believable. And given that Victoria is the fly in the ointment to all of this, that her continued refusal to have anything to do with Amy gives lie to Amy's belief that she can fix anything, and thereby puts the entire edifice of her self-rationalizations at risk, it also makes perfect sense to me that Amy would become fixated on her, on proving that she really can fix anything.

Of course, being believable isn't the same thing as being compelling. The thing that makes all this so resonant for me is that, at the end of Ward, after being this grasping spectre that haunts Victoria the whole book, after rejecting countless opportunities to demonstrate a hint of self-awareness or the slimmest motivation to change - Amy does. She sits down with a therapist. She rips off the band-aid - both the metaphorical one and the literal one made out of Victoria's skin, jesus christ Amy - looks at what she's done, at how she went awry, and resolves to do better. And we end with her in essentially the same place she was at the end of Worm: prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations as best she can. But the journey she has taken to get there gives the destination entirely new meaning for me. She's already fumbled her chance at redemption! But her journey gives lie to the idea that you only have one chance, or two, or any finite number! Every moment you draw breath is a chance to do better.

To me, Amy Dallon's arc in Ward shows that the most important step you can take is the next one, and no matter how many times you walk up and down that road, it never stops being true. And I find that compelling as hell.

[alizalayne]

Your colors are always so dynamic and vibrant, as someone who struggles a lot with picking energetic color palettes and takes a lot of inspiration from yours, how do you do it if you don’t mind me asking? Is it just intuition?

Thank you! I'm self taught and I wish there was a very easy overall trick I could teach you, but the real answer was that I ran a webcomic for many years. It was 98% fully digital, but for a significant chunk of that webcomic I didn't allow myself to directly color pick from the previous page I'd colored before-- I forced myself to select every color by eye instead. This tuned my color perception dramatically so that if I see a color in front of me I can use a digital color wheel to find it by eye. It's a lot of work, but I'm glad I did it in the same way I'm glad that I finished a full length novel and a novella in high school. (No one but me has ever read these.) It forced me to learn by doing, which is usually best for me.

I think studying stills and, in the case of animation, color keys from movies you like would be a good way to get a grasp on color and especially on chiaroscuro; I usually think in terms of light/darkness and atmosphere rather than in terms of a strict color palette. Getting hung up on choosing a palette ahead of time and sticking to it can be limiting.

For vividness, also study subsurface scattering.

A quick improvement can be achieved by painting light by making the color beside the shadow the most saturated. Here’s an example stripped down to its most basic elements:

Do you see what I mean? If I were painting this for real it would be a little more subtle, but placing a more saturated area of color beside your shadow makes light more dimensional and shadows more deep. The overall effect is vibrancy.

The most important thing to do imo is paint what you want to paint, what you are excited to paint, and to research and study those subjects. If you love color and working in it satisfies you, then you will love studying color and light and the more you do it the more you will crave it. You will start to see light hitting the wood on a table and you will crave the chance to set one color against another. Light and darkness become delicious and painting becomes play. I don’t like going too long without painting or too long without testing myself by trying something new. Follow the lure of that fun wherever it takes you!! ☀️

[thetireonstageright]

I took Tilly’s Steps on Broadway Class last night and here are my thoughts!!!!

Tilly makes you feel so comfortable in the room!! She went around giving high fives, learning people’s names, just overall having the most infectious energy

a lot of dance teachers will treat class as if it’s an audition, often leading to raised tension and competition among the class. but Tilly wasn’t like that at all. she made everyone feel so supported and safe, the room became such a welcoming community it was so fun to take part in

she did play wicked, and we ran around because she wanted us to “feel like kids again” and we did. it was so fun

i love the way we warmed up. it was a little bit of stretching, some cardio, and boot-scootin boogie

a big thing to her was falling in love with dancing and connecting with our bodies and WOW did i accomplish that during class. After class i had so much energy to just keep moving my body and dancing, i wanna take another class so bad.

I think it goes without saying, but i’ll say it anyways TILLY IS SUCH AN AMAZING DANCER AND HER CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO GORGEOUS. we danced to nobody gets me by SZA and it was very contemporary based (my fav) and it’s so pretty, the way each move flowed into the next. like by the end i barely had to think about doing the perfect technique for the step because i knew my body would connect and feel the music. like i don’t know how to explain it, she just taught it THAT well.

Tilly does such a great job teaching!! She would teach a little bit of the combo, verbally check in, and we’d go over it with music a couple times. And she wouldn’t move on until everyone was comfortable with it. While nothing crazy, she went at the perfect pace and it made learning the combo so much easier.

I would also like to add that i was on zoom, and in the room, the people on zoom are projected on a TV at the front of the room with our names attached to our videos. And she would check in with us too!! (i did get jumpscared a little each time i heard my name ngl, but it was so cool)

That being said, at one point, she was trying to remember what she had choreographed next, and since i was in a big dance room by myself and forgot the WHOLE CLASS CAN SEE ME, the dancing fairies in my body took over and i just started messing around with coupe turns and just improving to what i thought was no one. And then all of a sudden i hear “OKAAAYYY DANCE ALYSSAA!!” from TILLY. and i got SO EMBARRASSED AND AWKWARD. then she laughed because of the face i made, which like, im honored, but ohh my godddd😭😭 (i was over the moon she liked my dancing tho)

Also you know the little spinny move she does on the tire during ggah?? she put it in the combo and ITS SO MUCH HARDER THAN IT LOOKS. but it also produced my favorite quote of the night: “If you fall?? who the fuck cares??” -Tilly Evans-Krueger

like i’m gonna be taking that with me in every class from now on.

Overall, i had the BEST time and i hope she does it again because she’s the absolute sweetest and such a great teacher!! (also i need to take more dance classes because im SO INSPIRED by her and so fired up about dance again)

[ineffable-opinions]

MAME & BL Literacy Part 1

Another MAME show is airing and I thought it was good time to discuss what makes that author controversial.

As usual, critiques and corrections are welcome.

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For those who don’t know MAME is a unique Thai BL creator. I have discussed in a previous post (that can be found here and here) how Thai BL is lacking in BL literacies. MAME is one of the exceptions. This is because:

she is a BL author & hence, one of the creators of BL literacies

she studied BL and its production academically [you can find her research output by searching her name: อรวรรณ วิชญวรรณกุล]

then she started producing live action BL.

In an industry which is lacking in BL literacies, what she brings to the table is fu-culture (BL fan culture) in all its glory. Unfortunately, the live action audience who are fans of sweet BL, have a hard time adjusting.

This is an exploration of response to her works, starting with the review of Love by Chance @waitmyturtles discussing all the ships in that series: AePete, TinCan, TarTum and KengklaTechno. This pretty much ties up what I identify as the first issue with BL literacies deficiency and MAME’s knowledge.

Here are some typical narrative progressions for a (Japanese) BL:

あまあま – sweet

ユニーク – unique

シリアス – serious

邪道 – evil road (Jadō)

王道 - royal road (odo)

Any theme/one-line plot can choose to take any of these narrative progressions. Moreover, Thai BL usually originates online which allows for innovation in narrative progression.

AePete

In Love by Chance AePete follows the typical sweet BL narrative progression. Sweet BL is characterised by an overall sweet flavor (characters, mainly the pairing, would be sweet in behaviour and motivation) and relationship progression is pretty smooth. This is the narrative progression that GMMTV sticks to. I have discussed their reasons as well as why it might not be a good thing in the long run here.

KengklaTechno

Their story follows jado narrative progression.

Quick note about Jado BL & Kengkla as a kichiku seme

One or more characters in a ship being emotional aggressors, physical abusers, sexual predators or outright villains is a very common trope in BL genre. These are popular sub-types (most notable: brute kichiku 鬼畜) of seme/uke/riba with these specific attributes and they have dedicated fans who thoroughly enjoy such characterizations. But these are clearly not everyone’s cup of tea. Some BL fans find these themes unbearable. That is why GMMTV and other BL live-action producers who don’t want to upset any of their audience members usually:

avoid such characterizations all together especially with sweet narrative progression

tries to soften such characters into more universally palatable forms

tries to redeem those characters by getting rid of those with odo – this is what currently airing My Stand-In would do.

make them villains – never making them the protagonists who gets any kind of happy ending

This is done not to trouble the average audience’s worldview (世界観) and is clearly a low effort and low skill (in terms of BL literacies) approach. But since a lot of audience don’t appreciate villain-like characterization, it is clearly low risk, no chance of a backlash from angry audience and the best method for assured money making.

Occasionally BL live-action producers venture into the risky terrains, especially with jado. The Japanese does it a lot, usually in movie format. China and Taiwan also delve into jado fairly regularly. But live action Thai BL seldom does anything commercially dangerous.  

In a jado BL, a character might do terrible things and manipulate the other character(s) in the ship. But won’t feel remorse, apologize and improve for better. This is a violation of the expectation placed on characters on sweet narrative progression. Sweet BL audience do not expect characters in a ship to be anything but good to each other, especially after they have become a couple. While audience don’t mind characters making mistakes, in this narrative progression audience also expect characters to learn from their mistakes and to grow closer by earning and giving forgiveness.

In jado BL that focuses on characters being villains, there are no such expectations. These BL work within the confines of their own worldview which don’t necessarily match with our IRL worldview. Characters are allowed to act in ways that goes against our everyday perception of what is right and what is wrong. Neither the characters nor the audience expect the characters to right their wrong, to apologize or to get punished, through judicial procedure or otherwise. Happy endings are not after reparations and resolution of issues, it would be in spite of those. Bad endings aren’t necessarily punishments for bad actions committed throughout the narrative, that’s just the ending of that story. Unlike with the BL with sweet narrative progression, these BL are not necessarily stories of two or more guys falling in love. Neither is their love (if at all there is love) expected to be healthy and wholesome. (It can be wholesome but it is just as well if it is not.) There are expectations from such narrative progressions too and resolution to most issues aren’t among those expectations. Clearly not everyone’s cup of tea, especially if they expect BL to be didactic like fables.

Problem getting papered over is the expected approach in jado. When characters get together/get back together with “problems” never really dealt with, it is proper meriba (merry bad ending). Plain bad ending where there is no resolution is also typical in jado BL.

Moreover, it is difficult to sell BL with jado and other narrative progressions. It becomes even more difficult to sell branded pairings when the characters they play are not impeccable. It is unlikely that actors playing bad guys can sell products for advertisers. (Imagine the characters from The Effect being in ads together!) It is even more unlikely that fans would go broke behind wicked characters and would want to attend fan-meetings and concerts featuring them in some way.

Kengkla is two-faced and an excellent yandere. He appears to be a cute and innocent junior in front of Techno. Audience also gets to see him in Machiavellian mode. This is something that Techno doesn’t have access to, at least in Love by Chance. Techno’s brother is his facilitator in the narrative, which in turn makes him two-faced too. Techno is not omniscient and Kengkla manages to trap him. And that’s where Love by Chance ends.

TarTum

There pairing is an excellent example of MAME’s skilled employment of BL literacies. TarTum is a sweet BL, complicated by them being step-brothers. While their pairing is barely odo, Tum as a character has a complicated odo progression. Horrors from his past haunts him. The journey is going to be complicated. It won’t be linear. There would be slip up on his part and that of others. But there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Those who love odo do so because of the pleasurable pay off, much more than sweet BL. It is a rollercoaster, and that’s why fans like it.

TinCan

This is another pairing with sweet narrative progression but with a rare dynamic: weak seme x weak uke, i.e., neither of them is strong in their pursuit. This is a notoriously tough dynamic to write, so much so that there are relatively few BL with this dynamic.

Multiple Pairings in a Piece

This is something I personally appreciate a lot. It is not often that we get a piece with different pairing with different types of narrative progressions. Authors choose this method and build universes so that they can reach the biggest audience.

A lot of people enjoyed Love by Chance because they could enjoy AePete. While I understand, I don’t relate to that. AePete was my least favourite pairing among them all. I enjoy dangerous characterizations over subdued ones and prefer a meriba over a happy ending. While there are plenty of BL media with those, they are rare in live action. In my first watch, I was constantly tempted to find fan-edits of every couple other than AePete. So, what is time wasted for some is actually really enjoyable moments for another. MAME gets that and I appreciate her for that.

Queerness, heterosexism and ‘Asian’ culture

@waitmyturtles also discusses “a kind of macro cishet perspective on AePete relationship” in relation to “Ae’s randiness and jealous tendencies” and Pete’s response or lack thereof as well as “Ae not being able to take Pete’s help, and Ae’s tendency towards stereotypically masculine POVs and behaviors” tied to “MAME’s story structure here is based in Asian cultural homophobia, in stereotypes of how the queer community should act by way of societal expectations in Asia.”

To unravel that:

I don’t know what “cishet perspective” means in relation to AePete, a pairing consisting of two androphilic male characters. I also don’t know what were the expectations on Ae and Pete in terms of randiness and jealousy.

More interesting I think is the question underlying the statement about Ae’s performance of “stereotypically masculine POVs and behaviors”. Now, what does that mean? In order to understand that it is important to figure out which type(s) of masculinity Ae would subscribe to based on his class, ethnicity and where he comes from (Thai masculinities show considerable variation with location). It will be meaningful to evaluate Ae’s behaviour with respect to: a) what he thinks is the “manly” thing to do b) what Pete does

Take “Ae not being able to take Pete’s help” for example. In their 2021 paper ภาพแทนชายรักชายในนวนิยายยาโออิ เรื่อง รักนี้บังเอิญคือคุณ [The Representation of Homosexual Men in the Yaoi Novel: My Accidental Love Is You] Phuwadech Doungmanee, Panunda Lerlertyuttitham & Natthanai Prasannam goes deep into this:

MAME employs four typical prejudices against male homosexuality perpetuated within the Thai society to create conflicts within the plot: 1) male homosexuality unacceptably deviates from the social norms 2) male homosexuality must not be “out” 3) male homosexuality brings disappointment and shame to the family, and 4) male homosexuality cannot earn true love; love must be purchased instead.

Pete trying to purchase Ae’s love is implied when he is offering ‘help’. This is a stereotypically masculine behaviour and an elitist one at that. As with other stereotypes listed above, this one too gets treated well (with Ae’s refusal to accept) even thought it might not seem so from a Western heterosexist lens.

Along with discursive clashes challenging earlier beliefs, those who hold the prejudices tend to be judged by poetic justice. The author thus educates the society and reading public on alternatives views in relation to male homosexuality. (source: The Representation of Homosexual Men in the Yaoi Novel: My Accidental Love Is You)

There is no one Asian culture. Here are the three popular types of masculinities in Thailand (these are very different from Malayali and Tamil masculinities I am personally familiar with):

Monk

secular male - chaai chatri (ชายชาตรี): embodies typical masculine features such as ‘authority, courage, self-assurance, physical and emotional strength, and sexual prowess’ as well as someone who ‘would under normal circumstances control his sexuality as much as possible and be loyal to his family.’

lower-middle-class - nak leng (นักเลง): ‘a man who is brave, daring, risk-taking but also fair.’ In more recent decade: ‘a man who is tough, loyal to allies and a playboy with numerous sexual affairs.’

Both Ae and Pete are very masculine in very different forms. MAME is not only familiar with different forms of masculinities and femininities, and their region-specific variations, but also plays around with it a lot. The male femininity is also achieved in both the characters in a similar manner. All of this might easily escape the audience members who have limited understanding of Thai masculinities and femininities.

Pete isn’t shown to be unsettled by Ae’s randiness because it is an interplay of two different masculinities done with grace. Pete not only plays the polished, prince-role to a kunlasatree (กุลสต กุ รี; a stereotypical good woman, defined as ‘proficient and sophisticated in household duties; graceful, pleasant, yet unassuming in her appearance and social manners; and conservative in her sexuality’), he is also an out-and-out chaai chatri.  

Physical Relationships and Explicit Content

One of MAME’s contributions to BL is in the toppling of certain beliefs, guided by sexism, BL live action creators were operating under prior to her.

Sathaporn Panichraksapong, an MD of GMMTV, a major producer of BL series, claimed that audience members who are mainly heterosexual women look for romantic relationships among the characters rather than sexual relationships.

We know that our audience are [sic] women. Women want to see only two boys having romantic moments together. They don’t want to see sex. Sexual relationships in BL are for a gay audience. That’s why in SOTUS the Series we have only two kissing scenes. With only these, audiences were already screaming. This is enough for them. (Interview with Sathaporn, GMMTV, 10 Aug. 2017)

Jirattikorn, Amporn. “Heterosexual Reading vs. Queering Thai Boys’ Love Dramas among Chinese and Filipino Audiences.” (2023).

As Jirattikorn goes on to highlight, this [wrong] perception about the audience (“women”) have changed ever since.

While early BL series tend to portray pure love without showing many sexual relationships, later BL series started to show more sex scenes between the two male lead characters.

Jirattikorn (2023)

Trauma & Porn

Itai Itai Itai (if you know, you know)

To claim that it is Asian cultural homophobia that MAME leveraged in Love by Chance through the inclusion of gang rape, incest, and unhappy ending is doing a disservice to BL and other queer genres including gei comi, all of which are well known for both trauma and porn. Aof Noppharnach and Cheewin’s lack of BL literacies is evident in their works. The way Aof Noppharnach shamed the use of the term เมีย ‘wife’ in Bad Buddy in spite of its usage by queer people, especially the little people among them, is evidence enough of the contempt and disregard he can bring in through his positionality as an “auteur”. To compare him to MAME is a little callous, especially when MAME constantly questions positionality and power through the stories she tells.

MAME’s trauma or lack thereof is none of anyone’s concern. So is what she does with it.

But the assumption that trauma in BL is a product of an author who themselves went through it is ludicrous and ignorant because BL from the days of tanbi (and its predecessors) have been engaging with it. There is already half a century’s history of BL with trauma and taboo themes.  

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you can find the review discussed in this post here:

This is Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[thecheekyblog]

Take care of yourself

Hey loves, we all know that I am a huge self care advocate. I have been loving myself real bad and one way to do it was through AROMATHERAPY.

So today let’s talk about it.

I have been looking into different ways to relax myself. From crystal baths to bedtime yoga, I am all ears to try anything. I started to read more about the Chinese Self healing method and through my research on the matter, I found out about aromatherapy!

So what is aromatherapy?

It is basically a holistic practice that uses essential oils to improve your overall well being. It is something that can be use with other practices such as meditation or visualization.

Here are few ways to do/use it

Through a diffuser: it will disperse the essential oil in your space making it easy to inhale and practice some inhalation exercises.

Through topical use: putting essential oil into body oil for either your skincare or massages.

Through your bath: adding drops of essential oils into your bath creates an aroma therapeutic experience. This is a chef kiss experience trust me!

Through compress: you basically use warm or cold compress infused with essential oils to release pain or to relax.

Because i love you guys, here is a list of essential oils and their use:

Lavender: Calming, sleep aid, relieves anxiety.

Peppermint: Energizing, eases headaches, aids digestion.

Eucalyptus: Clears congestion, antimicrobial.

Tea Tree: Antiseptic, combats acne, supports immunity.

Chamomile: Reduces stress, promotes relaxation.

Lemon: Uplifting, cleansing, boosts focus.

But my personal favourite is vanilla, its warm scent uplifts your mood and has great comforting properties.

I hope you give aromatherapy a try and discover more way to love yourself! There is so many thing we can do to improve our selves and i just want to be the prettiest and healthiest version of myself and i can feel I’m aligning there.

On that note, let’s prepare for this week with a lot of peace in our heart!