#over actually engaging with the text
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we really don't talk enough about how cesare (who proclaims himself to be honorable) actually has an extreme level of self-absorption and narcissism. they jump out on different situations especially in his vindictive sexual harassment of the women he slept with for wounding his ego. like his abuse of ursula (who was deceived by his chivalrous façade) for leaving him and taking a will of her own vs. his aggressive grabbing of caterina's breast when she taunted him at his sister's wedding (shows that he's still bitter over her rejecting him at forli).
#i'm insane about every aspect of his personality and psychology like i loooove dissecting that side of him#bro could never handle any woman standing up for herself without turning to humiliation and asserting dominance i fear#like neil jordan clearly intended to romanticize him but arnaud's portrayal strives to make him more sinister and layered mwah#mind you cesare's darkness and hypocrisy is all francois' improvisations and we love him for it#the way i'm sooooo turned off by the fandom's persistent narrative of him but then i actually remember how he is and i go like...oh <3#moslty because they have spent over a decade reducing cesare to a flat “hero” by stripping away his most interesting aspects#my preference for juan among the bros is not only bc his story is moving but also bc his characterization feels very authentic and raw#and by that i mean that his misdeeds are as fleshed out as his human side which makes him extra engaging#he also doesn't have a group of fans always yassifying him mostly bc he isn't “conventionally attractive”#even though neil's intention is to make him the unappealing foil to cesare initially#but shit gets real once you cast insanely talented actors with brains like david and francois#caterina sforza#ursula bonadeo#tw abuse#tw sa#the borgias#cesare borgia#tb text post
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2023 | 99
#(don't read the tags if you don't want to hear any fandom negativity whatsoever)#this is an old one i never planned on ever posting‚ but i'm currently rewatching seasons 4 and 5 and i'm retroactively so mad again#that i let one slightly antagonistic sounding post ruin the entire character for me and this is the best outlet i have for venting about it#(best as in most selfish since a drawing is more likely to catch people’s attention as opposed to a simple wall of text)#brilliant character design‚ an interesting personality that is so fun to play with in fan creations and a fascinating addition to the canon#both for the drama and its core themes#despite this as much as i tried to i just couldn't bring myself to like him#he just doesn't appeal to me in a fandom way#but neutral with a hint of appreciation for his canon role would have been a good enough opinion to leave it at#but nooo my oversensitive ass just had to see the one fucking post amongst millions of random less than 20 notes bsd posts#that happened to shame me for this exact thing (that i already felt guilty about mind you)#and i just had to take it sooo fucking personally#of course. what a reasonable fucking reaction to have to harmless little fandom chit-chat.#believe you me‚ no one wants me to be a sigma fan more than me#i fucking wish i could scrub seeing this post from my mind...#it's been over a year and i can still feel the rage boiling up just thinking about it#at least all that rage had turned inwards fairly quickly and i unblocked the poster and rebloggers soon after#but still... what a fucking embarrassing reaction to have...#every time i engage with the actual series i can feel that i still love it very deeply#i'm near tears at the end of episode 51#yet still i let stupid little things like that dampen my enjoyment of it#truly pathetic.
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I see there's posts floating around directly and blatantly arguing against mine (same wording) by completely misunderstanding what I said. I'm fucking BACK, babey. Should've bought some hay-scented fragrance while I was at Sephora today, because I am once again your strawman!
#yes Lucanis has been told what he's going to do with his life for his entire life and has not been able to make a lot of choices for himself#this has no bearing on how he has no moral issue with killing people for money#which is what I was saying: he has no moral issue with killing people for money and some of you are clearly uncomfortable with that#because you're bending over backward to insist that he does actually deep inside have an issue with being a contract killer#when it is INCREDIBLY clear and he discusses this multiple times that he does not have any issue with being paid to stab people to death#I can't even discuss other aspects of Lucanis because you're all so unwilling to accept the specific point I'm making#which is that the text makes it incredibly clear that Lucanis does not have any issue with being killer for hire#he has no issue with the “killing people as a profession that he engages in”#he flat out dismisses the idea that there is any moral issue to be had when Emmrich and Davrin ask him about it#you all want him to have a moral issue with the core premise of “killing people” because you struggle with the idea he does not have one#because you're all very convinced that if he chose for himself that he would choose to have an issue with murder#but he doesn't#when he engages in what you consider “making it more palpable” to him it is actually not related to the murder at all#in fact the things he does extra isn't even un-Crow-like necessarily—it's just making things more complicated and less efficient#by avoiding doing things that are not part of the contract and thus aren't necessary to do even if it would make it easier#it is still not an issue with performing murders for money!#I know I'm repeating myself a lot here but people really are doing Olympic floor gymnastics routines to avoid what I'm trying to say#which is that the text is very clear Lucanis does not have a moral issue with the part of his job where he is hired to kill people#(also to that refutation asserting that Lucanis's “enjoyment” is derived from going after objectively bad people#how did you miss the part where Lucanis HATES it when people say that when THEY kill it's Noble And Good only)#(Also his contracts are not strictly Venatori. He has a specialty but he very much states he has non-Venatori and non-mage contracts)#DATV things#anyway I should write a follow-up post
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Ok so I've been admiring ur art for a while and was wondering about the story of your characters? Like, the beginning so I understand? Cuz they sound fantastic and I wanna know what's happening but I don't. So is there like a story or comic I can read to know who they are? Thx <3
Hi! Aww thank you so much, that makes me so happy! Okay lemme do my best to explain…
So I have about five different stories that I'm posting doodles of, and I have a tag for each of them. The bad news is there is no starting point :/ I don't haven't started making the story for real, and there's no first draft even. But sometimes I do share more plot-focused doodles! So like exploration in characters or plot points that could happen!
The Keepers is the biggest of the stories! It's a collab project with @meadow-rose. With four Main Characters and multiple "books". It's kinda like a crossover of different heroes stories. The current plan for the beginning of the story is with Dauntless! Some of the other stories in the Keepers is Ageless War, "hospital wip", Phasmaologist, the boarding school, and the Wizard's side!
Deepwood is another collab project with @meadow-roses. This one is still in the drafting stage so there's no beginning for it right now, mostly just art of the characters and fun little comics.
Thistled Rose of Glishirn (ThRoG) is my writing project! I hope to write it one day (I started but didn't get very far.) So I've been doodling as I figure out the pieces to my puzzle.
Saint Joseph's Angel is a very small project. I have the main characters figured out, but it's in such loose shape I don't know how to tell it. It's gonna take a lot of work to get that one in order.
Shepherdess wip is a tiny little collab with @meadow-roses about a shepherdess and a knight.
Hopefully giving some names for different stories can help clear up what's going on, why is there so many different people. I try to tag everything with the right stories and people too! Mostly my blog is just where I share my doodles and I haven't quite gotten to the place of telling a full story. I would love to one day, but I gotta keep practicing and working out the wrinkles. I am very sorry to bring such bad news of there being no place to read these stories or actually figure out what's going on.
But if you are wanting to look at some of my first draft ideas I can link you to my masterpost of stuff! Plot things for the Keepers and for ThRoG. Also links to me trying to explain stuff for Keepers and ThRoG. And my mini wiki for the Keepers!
Anyway, sorry for such a bummer of an answer to your question, it makes me really happy though that you think it's interesting! I gotta get working on it so I have actually something to share!
#thanks for the ask!#if i was a normal person i might not actually post all my oc art#or would be like.. they are ocs.. and move on#but no i gott hyper organize my blog to be able so figure out between the stuff#this lead people astray into thinking there is actually something to engage with. yeahhh uhh read this comic now look at these doodles#there is a plot maybe but youve got to work so hard f or it. its like punish people into getting into it. suffer!!#anyway so sorry to people who follow me and have no idea what's going on#jules i wanted to give you an actually good answer but ack!!! i am allergic to explaining things correctly! can't seem to do it!#and i didn't want to leave this sitting for long. very sorry that the answer is basically.....read the stars and maybe you will learn#thank you for sticking around and following#shout out to people who followed me years ago and watched me go insane over ocs..and didn't follow into my pit. yall just standing there#like. have fun when you become normal! i'll be here!#anyway eek eek ouch#ask#text#answer
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ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
#spectre says#text post#negative#vent post#delete later#sorry#i probably shouldn't post this idk#tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever#i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art#but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post#and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about#but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise#and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly#because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of#i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever#which i understand#it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has#so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff#if i'm not told directly is all#anyway. tangent aside#its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time#and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;
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Every time I see the English translation of a certain Clear Card panel with Touyuki appearing on my TL I want to pull my hair because that line was mistranslated so, so badly and people are making speculations and going nuts about it in the tags and it's all based on something that doesn't exists because that's not what Touya says, not at all. Like, not even remotely. It's also so out of character for him to say something like that, I don't know how his fans don't realize something is off in that line.
One day I will compile those translation mistakes in one giant google sheet or something, I need to turn this into a mission because it's honestly so irritating to see how riddled with mistakes this localization is, sometimes to the point of messing with important parts of the plot. I don't see them releasing a decently translated edition in the near future, so it's all I can do to give back some respect to the story. Clamp are aware of the translation mistakes and how they change the perception of the story for the foreign readers, just as they are aware of the posts I've made about them over the years (they talked about this in a Space long time ago, and I still cherish that mention in my heart with pride). But there was basically nothing they could do at the time, if not suggesting the English readers to check the posts mentioning the translation differences. That's great and all, I'm glad I have their blessing but this is also not really how ideally one should read a story. My posts are long and filled with personal comments and maybe that would deter many people from checking out what a certain line actually says, so I need to find a quicker and easier way. Also, I started to do those only from chapter 40 onwards (and in the beginning I was way overzealous, I would need to revise) and this panel I'm mentioning above is part of the butchery they did in the first volumes, which weren't covered by my posts yet.
#sorry for the vent but everytime I see certain panels my blood boils#i love Touyuki they're soulmates and I'm all for their moments together but damn that line was really NOT IT#it's so maddening to think how little respect was used in the translation of this work#and how much of the translator's bias shows through shamelessly#this is also referencing to how people probably still believe Lilie had a thing with Momo#while being very much engaged to Akiho's future father#another terrible translation mistake that hinted at a wlw pair when there was none of it#as I always say headcanons are free real estate#and you can mess around with them however you like#but canon must stay canon and the translation has to reflect precisely what's been said in the original JP text#no ifs and no buts#people deserve to know the real story#not being lied to for the sake of inventing stuff or giving 'flavor' to things#that's not Clamp's story anymore#it's the translator's story at that point#me being mad about this shitty translation all over again was really not what I needed when I'm so tired after a wedding party#goodnight#please do me a favor and read this story in Spanish if you can read Spanish#Norma's translation is really WELL DONE#always grateful to Agnes Perez for actually doing her job with love#goodnight again
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Every day I'm more convinced that we should take every religion as a piece of fiction. With respect, but nothing to kill people over
#GUYS IT WOULD BE SO FUN#we could make hetalia with religions#and yknow we could actually engage with the text and learn valuable lessons#instead of yknow making wars out of them#fun fact while thinking about this i figured out why i just cant commit to religion as a person#i literally take them as stories and im not able to believe in just 1#and again#i wouldn't kill people over them#no one is right and thats the point
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i think that unless you're talking about stuff that's like purposely and maliciously created with the goal of endangering people (e.g. nazi propaganda or cult recruiting etc) you should probably retire the term "irredeemable media". like i don't think this cartoon meant for children or niche webcomic or barely known indie game are as dangerous as you think they are
#even if they do end up harming people somehow. literally any media has that potential if the wrong ppl consume it bestie#it's not a question of media it's a question of literacy#(i say 'wrong people' but like. it's not a person thing. again it's literacy. it's about effort and thought put into it)#my point is. once you start marking every random thing that may contain problematic elements as irredeemable -#- you will never finish. bc that's literally everything in the world.#is this piece of media actually this problematic or do you just dislike it? be honest.#could it be that perhaps you refuse to engage with the text beyond surface level bc it contains a few slurs so you can't see its merits?#(don't get me wrong. it's completely valid to avoid things like that. but as soon as you start condemning fans and creators of the thing -#- that's where you should draw the line. especially ESPECIALLY when talking abt small or indie creations. tho not only)#i have a lot of thoughts on the matter but the tags aren't the place and now isn't the best time for that lol#ik this is a bit controversial tho so like every time i post smth like that. don't fight me or send me hate over this. just block me 🫡
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Frankenstein annotators vs Dracula annotators FIGHT (this Ask brought to you by the Frankenstein weekly annotator takes)
For real, there do seem to be some blisteringly cold takes going on in academic circles.
I think Frankenstein suffers more with people tending to identify harder with either Creature or Victor, and thus skewing everything the other one does in order to demonize them. They get plenty of material to work with either way, because both are extremely flawed individuals. Both are self-absorbed, make bad choices, cause harm to those around them. Both also are extremely depressed/self-hating, do not want to hurt anyone until they're well caught up in a self-perpetuating cycle of hatred, feel trapped and victimized by the other. I think a lot of the power of the book comes from being able to sympathize with both of them and spot so many moments of "if only-" while still feeling that the way things turned out was somehow inevitable. It's just ingredients of a great tragedy!
With Dracula, it feels more like people are trying to distance themselves from the characters. By reducing them to plot points, archetypes, and the like, these people stop engaging with them as characters. And as such, they try to force in negative nuance where it wasn't intended in the original, or view them only as a stereotypical Frigid Victorian Male (Jonathan) or say "this side character didn't do a lot so maybe they were secretly evil" (Quincey), or just get... super, super into horny symbolism everywhere in a way that actually saps away a lot of what makes the characters themselves. In doing so, they miss the heart of the story, which despite being a horror novel actually has some really uplifting stuff.
I haven't read tons and tons of academic takes on both books, but based on what I have read, I think those are the trends that seem to bring about some of the really weird or hostile takeaways. Getting too attached to a particular character in Frankenstein, and trying too hard not to care about the characters in Dracula. Opposite in a way, but both ending up missing a lot of heart/nuance that I think you can find in the original works.
I feel there also is an element of a kind of feedback loop in both cases. Each book has had a major impact on pop culture, but in ways which tend to diverge significantly from book canon. I do feel that some of the simplifications and reversals start out as either derivative of (Dracula must have a sympathetic backstory) or defiant to (actually, Frankenstein is the real monster) the film/pop culture versions. This as well as responding to so many other established lines of criticism and types of takes that have become almost a "standard" and which are somewhat removed from the actual canon of the page.
#anonymous#replies#frankenstein weekly#dracula daily#i know i personally have been guilty of going 'frankenstein was the real monster' all blase after not having read the novel in over a decad#and feeling in the moment like i knew better than most people who hadn't read the book. so i am at least partly speaking from experience#as well as observation#(once i actually read the book again it was very clear that this is not and was not meant to be a one-sided good vs bad story.#whereas dracula at its core IS. to a certain extent refusing to recognize the different goals here#feels like not being willing to engage honestly with the text on its level. like that joke about getting too opinionated on like#a marxist reading of green eggs & ham. it can obviously be interesting but you also have to be willing to consider#what the book was meant to be and consider it in that light. you know?)#dracula daily spoilers#just for the super vague quincey mention really
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realizing I'm actually deeply hateful of what algorithm based social media/social media as a whole has done to how we interact with our friend groups on a local level 50/50 because I'm a mentally ill socialist and because I work tangentially in marketing so I know how it's rigged
#like. i shouldn't have to fucking post on social media for people who consider themselves my friends or acquaintances#to know or think to ask about my goings on#it shouldn't be the norm that we broadcast our lives for likes and engagement on a for profit platform#rather than having actual conversations about what is happening in our lives#but because they can just see whats happening online the questions never get asked#outside of a shallow 'how are you' and if you try to deepen it you kill the vibe#and yes this is my tism over reading the situation but that THAT US BECAUSE of the number of times ive been let down or excluded#because of over sharing or 'trauma dumping ' i say with quotes cause its bullshit#like if i see you all regularly we should be able to have serious conversations without you seeing it as work#even if it's at a social event and you shouldn't be making me feel like im killing a vibe#because im fucking living this shit like no duh its killing the vibe#and before anyone says just text them - im in gc hell and no one answers those or dms#so. rsd says its the same old shit as before and i should just pack it up#im fuckin tired man#i cannot believe we all bought into the algorithm based bullshit when blogging was right there
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#i think im delusional#normally im so good at knowing off the bat if what im shipping is a rare pair or not#but after finish squid game 2 this week i happily strolled over to ao3#yknow to check out fics that surely existed for what i was looking for#nothing. zilch. checks character tag. certainly has a lot of fics. absolutely zero of what i actually wanted#like....surely im not crazy. surely SOMEONE gets it. it was literally right there. guess ill check social media?#checks social media#NOTHING. ZILCH#desperately checks REDDIT#NOTHING!!! ZILCH#HELLO???????#I THINK IM GOING CRAZY. DID I WATCH THE SAME SHOW??? DOES LITERALLY NO ONE ACTUALLY GENUINELY SHIP THIS#im literally terrified to even say what it is even tho it isnt like a surprise#its so normie vanilla cutesy shit to me like it seemed so obvious but i guess i have idiot goggles on!!!!!!#this seems a bit like a ship rant but its not i swear to god#i love all the ships a lot#but im actually genuinely absolutely stunned that apparently zero people are even engaging with this#so ill just.....? i....i dont even know what to do LOL#(i cant be bothered to even write this out properly as a text post im just here to express absolute confusion)#(also inhun incredible. that wasnt what i was searching for. i definitely do not have to dive to enjoy that. i can enjoy very easily)#sighs. pulls up gdoc#blah blah
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All of my fandom OCs can neatly fit into one of two categories: the yappers and doesn’t say shit
Yappers:
Elughllue (WHA)
Clemont (OT2)
Simon (UniLord)
Doesn’t say shit
Hart (PKMN)
Wolffort (TriStrat)
#I say ‘fandom OCs’#but those are just my OCs because I don’t really make Original OCs#I want to engage differently with the things I like#Elughllue and Simon are very similar in the s use of their eccentricity#and over the top dramatic elegance#Clemont is just a scholar#so he’s inherently autistic#Hart will only talk if he needs to explain an answer to a question#otherwise his texts are like 3 words max#and Wolffort’s lore is that he doesn’t actually speak when introduced to the House he’s named after#he gradually picks up speaking but he takes to writing better#but only after Benedict suggests he keeps a journal for Reasons
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OC questionnaire !
Tagged by the splendiferous (i say it's a word) @fortunatetragedy!
We're going with Ricky Kronbach for this one because he's freshest on the mind and I really need to finish cleaning up the next chapter of Driving Through Tunnels.
What is something you want to do more than anything else in the world, but can't, and why?
You have to be at level 50 or above to get any deep, personal lore outta me so I'll hit you with a basic answer: design dark rides at Anaheim. Y'know, live the whole Imagineer lifestyle. The one thing standing in my way is that I fucking hate California... and my university having blacklisted me from pursuing any further engineering degrees. Frankly an over-reaction given that one guy had it coming.
2) Say you have to move to another planet. Which one are you moving to and why?
Acheron. It's technically a moon but I'm counting it because it's capable of hosting life. Why? I don't fucking know, but teenage me would've given anything to have been flipped off by Sigourney Weaver. Xenomorphs might be a problem but it's a problem I am willing to put up with.
3) How do you make grilled cheese?
I'm lactose intolerant. But the last time I made one was for my brother, and I put a slice of Velveeta between two slices of stale bread, smashed it until it was thin enough to fit into the toaster and then set it to 6 because Jeremy liked them crispy. I might have over-crisped it and almost set our house on fire.
no pressure tagging: @kairahara, @opaleyedprince, @kaizuart because they're the only peeps off the top of my head that i know have an impressive collection of OCs.
your questions are--
If you can steal any one item in all of history, what would it be and why?
You're meeting with someone important for dinner, and it's super last minute. What clothes currently at your disposal are you wearing?
Name one power or ability you wish to never have. Why?
#texts.#tag game#tagging kaizu because we were actually talking about this over the weekend and i thought it'd be funny#let me read your OCs voices.#oc: ricky kronbach#what is writing if not engaging in constant RP with only yourself?
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i just used SAVED! as a teaching tool with somebody for helping them heal from autistic complex trauma lol
#basically it starts with understanding that the whole chr1stian flair of the album is p much a metaphor#then you move on to learning how to articulate pain in a way that's actually useful to you instead of just reliving it over and over#so you can better interrogate the source of your harmful beliefs abt yourself#as well as to learn how to seek your joy; no matter how nuts it looks lol#also just how to spread this kind of knowledge as in ''i will be with you always''#and of course it engages autist1c auditory processing and hyper3mpathy rly well :)#text
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the messages app on your phone is actually so evil did you know thjs
#i can count on one hand the people i would actually engage in a sms text conversation with and everyone else is unimportant#TEXTS ARE SO SCARY I HATR THIS I HATE THIS DIE DIE DIE#it's been a week & i havent answered my coworker's text and im embarrassed but girl it's been So Bad over here in my brain and life#like i cant be bothered to text you back im sorry please just disappear. WHATEVER#loquitur
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Love how me and my cousin don't really know how to talk to each other so we just play 8ball pool over facebook
#hopefully ill be able to go down to austin in October for the whiskey thing shes going to with my uncle#she invited me to houston for her birthday but texas in august sounds like a bad time#its hard to have a conversation with her when she visits kansas cuz her grandparents are with her and her grandpa makes me wanna#throw hands#hes an engineer for an oil company and hes constantly going on about how oil is the best source of power and cant be replaced and#isnt actually that bad for the environment and it makes me want to kill him#not to mention hes a judgy rich catholic.#hard to have a conversation while trying to restrain myself from launching over the table to strangle a man#he also just rubs me the wrong way#his presence feels like sandpaper and hes very insistent on eye contact and my autistic ass is not a fan#his voice is also loud#her grandma isnt so bad but she feels a little stepford wife to me so im still leary about interacting with her#conversations around them feels like a fucking minefield#so it would be nice to get a chance to talk to her without either of them around#and i never know how safe texts are since they were still monitoring her phone after she was 18#and her computer#like i dont wanna get her in trouble or having them find out shit about me that my grandparents dont know about and that i would#rather them not know#like im assuming texts are safe now cuz she texted me when she got engaged but asked me to keep it a secret but who knows with these people
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