#outside of lectures i mean
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immortalsins · 6 months ago
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self-isolation during times of stress is pretty bad actually shame it took me 2 years of uni to realise this
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uygfiug · 4 months ago
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thought my school was finally going to try & help me next year but it sounds like theyre just trying to get me to act normal without actually helping
#idk it all sounds very familiar#i have to 'prove i can do things i dont want to do' and theyre going to help me 'fix my behaviour bc uni wont tolerate it'#but the behaviour they mean is just me being disabled#its about how i freeze up sometimes i think#and i cannot bring myself to do whatever im supposed to#sometimes i cant even move or speak#thats the behaviour they mean#but i cant just make that go away#ive been trying all my fucking life#also??? i go to school every fucking day?? does that not count as proving i can do things i dont want to do#surely they dont think i want to be there#idk man this is exactly the kinda stuff they said in primary school before they started punishing me for being disabled#like giving me extra work bc i froze or something#or send me away to work alone in a room & not talk to any of my peers bc i didnt manage to talk to the teacher#force me to make eyecontact for a full 10 minutes while giving me a lecture about why eyecontact is so important#or not allow me to go outside for breaks#that kinda stuff#it sounds like they have the same idea?#so im very worried about going back to school in september#they were supposed to attempt to help more this year as well but outside of one thing they didnt really do anything#and now they want to 'be more firm about it' ????#i dont trust that#mine#also !! ive been getting told all my life that whatever the next stage is they wont tolerate my behaviour there#in primary they said id never get past first year in secondary#in secondary they say i wont get through uni this way#seems to me that really its fine#yeah i need help sometimes#but also i could probably go to uni & itll be fine#ill have my diagnosis & ill figure out who i need to talk to & how i can get the help i need
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lazy-toad · 7 months ago
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Heart breaking: guy has to actually do work towards degree he's paying to do
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mewhenifreakit · 2 months ago
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curled up by the fire, tail waggin
#long day puppies in my phone long day#so so tired i dont have class tmr cos lecture not there so i get to sleep in yay but i wake up early anyways woah just dont Have to be up#going to try meet a friend because i feel like i havent seen anyon outside of college in months even tho its been 2 weeks#this old friend if mine kinda lowkey ditched me when he got a bucnh of new friends like 2 yesrs ago and hes been reaching out a lot to try#hangout and like hm im hurt abiut how he dropped me and he like genrally wasnt a great friend anyways:/ but i feel bad being kike i cant#hang but i also amnt even lyin genuinely cant hang i havent seen my best friend in so long i only see college and my home and therapist once#but also like ugh i dont like this guy i need him to not be beggin me to hang he could be reslly mean like too often but he was nice ..ugh#i wish there was a chill bot harsh way to cut domeone out like i dont hate u i just dont love u soz#and i love my friends so so deeply like i only have time for my besties who i would est whole if i could pike the way people talk about#their blorbo from my shows is how i feel talking about my friends like i want to squish them and poke em n kiss em their my little loves#so if i dont even like someone idk like i dont have time for people j dont love or who dont give a shit about me#hashtag being autistic and my 3 close friends are all also auttistic genuinly the 3 of them got diagnosed in the past 4 yesrs..dominos#i miss my friends wailing college too busy i miss my babies#n i feel really bad for not wanting to hang with this guy who litersllybdidnt care if i lived or died like a year ago#but now is all about me strangely#anyways hm will possible rant more ive had such a long day and nowmim currles on pillows in a bjg hoodie and its so good
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10-dutchies-12-bicycles · 8 months ago
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>:c
checking the weather forecast for tmrw so i can get my stupid 30 mins of outside time for my stupid melatonin production
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february-academia · 2 years ago
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28.04.2023
So much happened this week. (In tags I'll rant about it)
N4 is coming and my prep is not at all good. Took a test today and i failed🥲. But i know my prep is soo bad,it was bound to happen. So have to study for that.
College exams are coming🥹 also have to study for that. The dissertation proposal is in the finalising stage,so that's good. But have to work on it properly imo.
Then i also proposed another research study to my professor and he has encouraged me to go for it. So,also have to work on it.
These very cutu plants in the scorching heat were a treat to eyes and mind.
Got this book from the library and I'm really enjoying reading the essays.
( correction in a tag- she scored less than me in class and she was all sad sad. With her i had to suppress my happiness at moments like these)
#here i go#so here in this clg i have 2 friends mainly they are my classmates and one is roomates also so thsi roomate is very toxic i kinda knew it#from the start but ignoted it bcs we became friends when we used to have online lectures and haven't met each other and somethings happened#in which she helped me so i was kinda obliged to stay w her. and after sometime i kinda strted feeling it. all the bad vibes#the toxicity she carry for other ppl judging them on their appearances and whenever i trued to correct her tries to manipulate things#like she jas all of the mean girl vibe but i the clown couldn't just had the courage or ways to not be w her i so wnated to but couldn't#it was all so fucked up and living w her. i changed i started judging ppl. this was so bad. she went through soem toughtimes and as i frien#friend i cared for her i was there for her almost all the times and most of the times whenever i needed her she was not.#tries to dominate always and the incident due to ehich I'm writing all this is - I'm not earing well properly well from past month she know#and last sunday i was very excited to this dish and i wanted to take more and she said very rudely how much more will you eat? i said i did#not had lunchand almost didn't eat the ehole day what's yhe nig deal abt it why tou saying and stopping me like that and she said i did not#say it she said again i did not say it with that rude voice like she can never be wrong and ppl wjom i rarely talk to have noticed that#I've lost weight but she who luves wirh me almost all the time do not know it whom I've talked to abt this don't knwo it . i didn't have#any appetite after that i just stuffed the food unsideand went outside wiyjout syaing anything 8 wanted ro puke so bad i controlled my#i couldn't beleive what just happened i didn't try to talk to her and she obviously wouldn't bcs of teh ego and then there's another friend#and classmate of us and she has a great bond w her then after taht incident she is also not talking ro me and. avoiding me in the corridor#making me feel like I'm the onw wrong here and thwse 2 ppl were not on talking term a week ago again ego calshes this other girl didn't#so yeah i got snakes here#now I'm all alone but this feels great literally like yes i cried and couldn't sleep bcs even tho i knew they are not always what they show#they were the only obes here i was able to form a bond with ( i hate this part so much now)and i care abt friendships alot but it ended#they are not talking to me I'm not talking to them. but thus whole thing made me free now I'm free i don't have to wait for them everytime#i want to go to library or to a class or to a walk bcs they wanted everything to be done in a grp#and I'm going everyday out to study to walk and to jyst peacefully live bcs now I don't have to deal with negativity and toxicity anymore#i feel myself again my trye self who was kind to ppl who wanted to just study quietly in evening who wanted to just go in class on time#i don't have to feel that if i di this will she judge me I'm feeling free with what I'm wearing I'll enjoy and celebrate all my wins#and achievements of the last year bcs i couldn't even enjoy those when i was with her just bcs she didn't got less tahn me#I'm smiling more nad I'm loving more myself to actually avle to come out of thsi spiral i didn't even know i could so yay#listening to you're on your own kid in loop and it made me so happy#that's it done. there was so much to say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hope you got some idea of what's happening in my life#sending you all love and light and if you find urslf in somesimilar situation or any difficulty rn hope you get out of it very soon<3
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coquelicoq · 2 years ago
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started on the french dictionary and so far i've only read the front matter and three pages of the A's and i'm already having so much fun. highlights:
the irony of the preface, which basically says, "this is an abridged edition. isn't that neat?", being at least three times longer than necessary
the list of 16 different symbols and their uses in distinguishing senses and introducing distinct usages within the same definition. because that seems like a large number of symbols, i have given myself permission not to comprehend the differences between any of them and just vibe
from the list of abbreviations:
"abusivt: abusivement (emploi très critiquable, parfois faux sens ou solécisme)" 😒 @ french lexicographers: have you heard the good news (of linguistic descriptivism)?
"recomm.: recommandation (dans recomm. off. « recommandation officielle » ; terme conforme à la loi française de 1994 sur la langue)" okay actually @ all of france: get well soon
"abdomen [-ɛn]" do you mean to tell me this vowel isn't nasalized??? sick. twisted. rebellious. can't believe la loi française de 1994 sur la langue has nothing to say about this !
"aber [abɛʀ]" this dictionary tells me when to pronounce the r in words ending in -er. my holy grail. crying and kissing its feet in gratitude
every time the definition includes a word i don't know i can just look that word up elsewhere in the same book i am currently holding!!!!
"abortif, ive adj. Qui fait avorter." told you b and v were related
"abreuver v. tr. 1. Faire boire abondamment (un animal)." this makes it sound like you're force-feeding animals water...on the previous page abondance is defined as "Grande quantité (supérieure aux besoins)" so like i'm getting the sense that you're leading a horse to water and not only making it drink but not letting it leave until it's drunk every last drop in the trough lol
"abribus [-bys] n. m. (nom déposé) Arrêt d'autobus équipé d'un abri" ok cute.
the example it gives for abruti is "Espèce d'abruti !" folks it don't get any frencher than that.
#so conflicted about france's attitude toward anglicisms in particular. like on the one hand i get it and if we were talking about any other#language i'd be like yeah the global supremacy of english & its overwriting and erasure of other languages is a big problem#but this is FRENCH. french! aka the source of the majority of the english lexicon!!!!#hello the normans!!! you made your language the anglo-saxons' problem! chickens coming home to roost et cetera!!!!#if you wanted us to keep our language to ourselves...little late for that dontcha think. ya filthy hypocrites#anyway i don't think the 1994 law says anything about pronunciation (it might idk but it's definitely not the focus)#but i just like razzing the french powers that be over...basically anything i can think of#oh you want me to pronounce this word-final n? that's rich coming from YOU#it just seems so dumb from the outside to be so focused on trying to preserve forever the workings of a highly complicated system#that's not even internally consistent at any kind of layperson-accessible scale#like you think modern french is this perfect specimen when in fact it is a LANGUAGE created by HUMANS and therefore riddled with#idiosyncrasies and vestigial remains of diachronic processes AND THAT IS WHAT MAKES IT SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!#and that means! it must be allowed to continue to evolve! not to even mention! it's going to evolve whether you want it to or not!#because that's its nature! that's how it works! that's how humans work! that's what we need from it and it is by us & of us & for us!!#french#lexicography#lecture du dico#prescriptivism#my posts#i know i said i was going to wait to read the dictionary until after i read all my other books but i was too excited to wait#and i told a friend about my plan and after the requisite 'yeah that sounds like something you would do you kooky broad'#she was like maybe you should read one letter at a time. like in between books or something. so you don't get bored#and i thought that was pretty smart. so i've started the A's. i'm not in between books i just wanted to start immediately#the problem is this dictionary is only 900 pages long so already i'm going psh. 900 pages? i could knock that out in three months#reading only 10 pages a day. it took me longer than that to read the count of monte-cristo#oh the other part i read today was the appendix on pronunciation. which didn't tell me anything i didn't already know (mostly that#there are still a bunch of vowels i can't pronounce lol) but was still fun to read out loud because of all the times i could be like#well i KNOW i'm not pronouncing that right. it says so right here.#like when it says ne confondez pas pâte et patte ! and i'm like okay well i pronounce them the same. so. sorry#my mouth only makes one of those sounds. and they sound identical to me. my b my b
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1o1percentmilk · 1 year ago
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i got into public health ethics for next q :)
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scoobydoodean · 2 years ago
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As someone who grew up in a christian household with very christian and very republican relatives, it is very funny to me for someone to tell me that Dean and Lisa sleeping and living together outside of wedlock, being dual breadwinners, and parenting a child together born out of wedlock who isn’t even Dean's biologically, is about christian and republican values.
Simultaneously, when I am told in very thinly veiled terms that Dean and Lisa are damaged goods whose value as long-term romantic partners was ruined by their existing sexual/romantic histories, I am apparently not supposed to see christian/republican values in that take or think about the sexual purity lectures I got as a child at church comparing me to like a pearl or a rose or some shit getting dirtied by premarital sex until no one could want me anymore.
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bcneheaded · 11 months ago
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Anyone: shows genuine interest in things Artemis likes / is insightful enough to honest to God just figure those things out about hom
Artemis: That tone surprised blinking gif
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jvzebel-x · 2 years ago
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🦋
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weaseltube · 7 months ago
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i hate shoes
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
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Okay. Is it delusional of me to try to signal to this guy in my class that I like him… through my choice of earrings
#okay hear me out. it’s an online class#so it’s not as if i exactly have opportunities to talk to him outside the class… we kind of just enter the meeting; the lecturer talks#there’s some learner engagement (almost entirely from people who are not me; i’m not gonna lie)#and then the class ends. i mean if i wanted to talk to him i could message him on slack but that’s… so much#i guess i could blast in there like ‘hey sam how’re you doing’ but… who does that#i mean someone did do that to me but that was in like week 2 of the class. you don’t do it in week… *checks notes* TEN???#(oh we’re codenaming him sam now because apparently!!! i’m unwell enough to need to name him here and i’m not using his actual name because#even though it’s a common name; fuck that entirely)#so anyway. sam likes to do a rubiks cube. twice now when we’ve been given a task to do i’ve seen him finish before the time limit and start#solving a cube and i’m ngl i like his hands and we’ll leave that train of thought THERE#well. it just so happens that i own a pair of rubiks cube earrings. they’re not actual cubes; it’s like a 2d drawing of a rubiks cube#backed by plastic. i bought them literally just because they’re cute. i think i was looking for dice earrings and found these#they’re not like super gaudy imo but they are one of my bigger earring pairs… eclipsed only by the tennis themed ones tbh#and the dog ones i bought because they looked like mabel 🥲#so what i’m thinking is i wear the rubiks cube earrings because honestly the worst case scenario is just that he doesn’t notice and no one#notices and nothing happens. i’m not sure what i’m expecting TO happen actually… it’s not as if he’s going to slide in my dms like ‘did you#wear those because you like me’ ‘yes sam yes i did. and if i had redheaded programmer earrings i would wear those too#that is how much i like you’#probably all that will happen is the most talkative person in class (who usually gets in early & strikes up a conversation with somebody;#either the teacher about his dog or one of us about a project) will compliment me on them and i’ll be like ‘oh thanks! i love cubes’#and stare into sam’s soul and he won’t be able to tell it’s him i’m looking at because there’s 12 of us all in a mosaic#so. that. i DO hope no one asks me if i can actually do a rubiks cube though because no i absolutely cannot but sam can & it’s embarrassing#personal
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coquelicoq · 2 years ago
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just a few entries after "baby-foot" in the french dictionary is "badaboum". which is not, apparently, solely a catchphrase from the seminal early aughts american television program "the sopranos".
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moineauz · 7 months ago
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જ⁀ 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 , various !
synopsis: his voice lines about you as his beloved partner
including: veritas, jing yuan, blade
side comments: dw i promise i'm working on the house of musica requests... i just wanted to do this for fun! also this is the first time I've written for jing yuan which is kinda funny. i liked writing for blade again. originally i had welt and aventurine in the mix but i wanted to post this hahaha.
extra: gn reader, angsty and fluffy moments, mentions of marriage, aventurine jumpscare later favourites: blade word count: roughly 2,085+
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𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎
WHO ARE THEY? I "So you're asking about my significant other? Are you shocked that I have a significant other? At the very least consider your question."
FIRST MEETINGS? "I met Professor ( Name ) when they barged into my lecture, they said they were 'lost'. Since then we had several heated debates academically. Have I lost in these debates? Several times yes, consequently making debating with them all the more... interesting. Especially considering that Professor ( Name ) has a well-rounded vault of knowledge in most subjects of academic and social relevance. Finally, a conversation worth my time.
GREETINGS? "Professor ( Name ) considers a good greeting the highest attribute. A curt smile and a cup of coffee suffice, thankfully they know when to remain silent. However, there are instances when they will talk relentlessly. Initially, I used my headpiece around them. Nevertheless, their conversations do occasionally convey subtle insightfulness and definite meaning. Gradually I have come to share some liking towards their rather pleasant 'small talk'."
PARTINGS? "A small kiss on the cheek: be it on my skin or the headpiece, that is all. However, I... have always preferred it on the skin."
ABOUT US: ART "Outside of ( Name's ) academic career, they share a peculiar fondness for art. Be it painting or sculptures they could very well get lost in a museum. When they discovered my fondness for sculptures and anatomy, they were... oddly quiet; tracing their hands over my sculptures- or my face to be exact. ( Name's ) admiration is always shown in silence, one of the greatest forms of praise.
ABOUT US: TRUE APPEARANCES "I have questioned how ( Name ) has perceived our relationship. Considering that we are both colleagues, it can lead to speculation amongst other *sighs* inappropriate comments. Hence, I prefer to keep our relationship known only to those who need to. I believe them to be devout and... undoubtedly caring. I hope my attitude towards them conveys a similar message.
CHAT: WORK "Although we teach different subjects, we occasionally mark or review the work of our students. You may call it a 'second opinion'. Thus, their opinion is one that I trust."
CHAT: SERVICE "( Name's ) actions can initially appear simple-minded. However, underneath simplicity, lies thoughtfulness beyond comparison in both work... and at our residence.
PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "Film is not an art I deliberately take part in or seek out for leisure. However, ( Name ) was quite adamant and passionate about film. Thus, we've watched a myriad amount of films and TV shows together, both acclaimed and disdained. I have my own varying opinions. I must admit, after a long bath, a film in bed is quite soothing. Considering that ( Name ) similarly enjoys the pleasure of a bath, our nighttime routine is undoubtedly satisfying."
ARGUMENTS: "One must always think before they speak for there is a price to pay. ( Name's ) silence is decisive, deliberate and painful; burning right through your chest. Debates are loud, quarrels are bitterly silent."
SOMETHING TO SHARE: "Solitude is the greatest gift to civilization and self: introspection enlarges the expanse of the mind. However, the pursuit of knowledge is not only found in discovery and text. It is through experience alone. I have found much knowledge in solitude and an equal amount through genuine companionship. Hence, I share my deepest revere. "
WHO ARE THEY? II "My lover. That is who they are to me and all you need to know."
EXTRA: AVENTURINE'S OPINION "I met Ratio's lover when I visited for business matters. But, all that went out of the door! I saw a lovely individual by his desk and thought, 'Who is this?' Ratio never, and I mean never, allows anyone to screw his desk up. Yet, here they were, seated at the edge of his desk toying with his stupid chalk greeting me with a bright smile. We immediately hit off. I suppose Ratio does have some luck in him, but then again, ( Name ) was the one who first asked him out. Less to do with luck, and more to do with destiny. In my opinion, destiny is not something I fully believe in, however, when I watch Ratio and ( Name ), it's difficult to imagine a universe where they aren't together."
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𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐔𝐀𝐍
WHO ARE THEY? I "You are looking for Commander ( Name )? Sadly they're on a business trip, however, I'd be happy to answer in their place."
FIRST MEETINGS? "( Name ) is an interesting soul. I've heard of their praised skills in combat and decisive thinking. Many assume I met them on the battlefield. Yet, I met them over a coincidental cup of tea."
GREETINGS? “I find it amusing how our everyday greetings have evolved. At first it was a salute. However, I find that a kiss on the cheek is a much more efficient way of greeting and brightening up the mundane tasks *sighs* of work.”
PARTINGS? “Why bid farewell when one hasn’t said hello? Partings have always been bitter. Yet, I find comfort in knowing that all things lead back from whence they came.”
ABOUT US: AGE “Time for long life species is fickle and plainly slow. Despite that, ( Name ) has constantly made time— less daunting and more fun. ( Name’s ) life span… is a touch shorter than that of myself. Hence, they have brought forth a new value in every passing year to which I cherish. This year I plan on doing something special for their birthday— though, don’t tell them that.”
ABOUT US: SILENCE "As much as ( Name ) glows in social settings, they equally enjoy stillness, if not more. There never is any obligation to fill the void when we're together. It is as natural of an act as breathing.
CHAT: PRODUCTIVITY "( Name ) likes to be on task. I, however, don't always find leisure in such activities. ( Name ) quote, 'holds me accountable'. Of course, there are moments in which I can distract them."
CHAT: FELINES "They are quite fond of Mimi. Unfortunately, Mimi is rather... aggressive when around ( Name ) and has been for a considerable amount of time. One time ( Name ) was attempting to bargain with Mimi for her favour. *Chuckles* What a sight.
PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "Master Diviner Fu Xuan would frown upon it... but I suppose napping on the Seat of Divine Foresight is considered a 'pastime' when done regularly enough."
ARGUMENTS: "I do not attempt to quell the frustrations of my dearest. It is not often they disclose them to me and it does pain me to be the cause of their anger. Nevertheless, if it means the two of us will grow closer, then I will gladly offer myself to the brute force of my dearest. Of course, the swelling of regret still stains the heart."
SOMETHING TO SHARE: I've lived one life yet many all at once. Companions scattered amongst the universe and enemies whose names I've gradually forgotten. Yet, underneath the breath of my dearest, I'm simply a man in his spouse's embrace. Nothing else matters."
WHO ARE THEY? II "My most loving spouse."
EXTRA: FU XUAN'S OPINION "When Commander ( Name ) came into the Seat of Divine Foresight to help the General... he grew all the more 'lazy'. A part of me feels sympathetic towards Commander ( Name ), imagine having your own spouse bully you into doing your work? Alas, it's not my business to speak about their marital life. Besides, the two go hand in hand, like a puzzle piece clicking together. Both can do well without, but when joined together, they are a force to be reckoned with."
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𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐄
WHO ARE THEY? I "Their weapon may be thin, but it pierces holes even in the most... stubborn of enemies."
FIRST MEETINGS? "Elio's script is always followed. However, ( Name ) is a detail I did not anticipate or was foretold. My body met the tip of their spear before I saw their face."
GREETINGS? "Over time ( Name ) has grown close to the Stellaron Hunters- especially Kafka. Their presence is imminent despite not being a Stellaron Hunter themselves. ( Name ) smiles whenever we meet, it has always been more than enough."
PARTINGS? "My promised end will come, yet an absurd inkling of regret remains."
ABOUT US: THE BLADE "( Name ) believes the blade to be a form of art. They had said, 'The blade dances in air with undisturbed poise and precision, a kind of mercy not known to themselves.' I asked them why they chose a spear then. They replied, 'Because I could never dare replicate it's beauty.'"
ABOUT US: WOUNDS "( Name ) never wanted to be a traveller, rather, they opted to string fabrics together with a needle and thread. Perhaps that is where their skills come from."
CHAT: MIDNIGHT "The mara is like a ghost. Yet, ( Name ) is a fool. They embrace the ghost I can't seem to remember other than its bottomless spite and fear."
CHAT: SCARS "Their hands never 'keep to themselves'. ( Name ) prefers to trace their hands over surfaces and make shapes. They tend to draw stars... so many stars."
PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "When there are no missions, we sleep in silence. Under the guise of sleep and their warmth, immortality does not follow me."
ARGUMENTS: "When all is said and done, silence remains."
SOMTHING TO SHARE: "If there is life after death, then I wish to meet them in the same manner, again and again with that smile and spear."
WHO ARE THEY II? "The person who taught me how to breathe and pressed their lips against my skin."
EXTRA: KAFKA'S OPINION "Blade will never admit it. But, ( Name ) cares for Blade and Blade does too. The pair will never put a name to the push and pull between them. I caught Bladie once; staring out into the open universe searching for something with a spark of life that doesn't belong to a dead body. I wonder if ( Name ) put that there."
masterlist.
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cosmicmunsonwrites · 26 days ago
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i’ll drive, i’ll drive all night
bf!rafe cameron x fem!reader
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cw — alcohol, brief talks abt arguing, this is lowk short
summary — you drunk call rafe for a ride home from your friends house.
a/n — whipped this up in a few minutes so please don’t be too harsh. request!!
do not copy or post my work anywhere else.
you sat outside with the warm breeze as you waited on the steps to your best friends house for your boyfriend to pick you up. you were completely out of it, eyes feeling heavy, body all soft and feeling like jelly from the copious amounts of alcohol coursing through you.
you’d probably had one too many drinks and you were expecting a lecture from rafe when he arrived but you were too far past the point of caring. you just wanted to see him and go home after the terrible day you’d had.
the two of you had argued earlier in the afternoon which eventually led to you both parting ways and not speaking for a few hours. you were both very opinionated and you had attitudes that often didn’t mix well when you were frustrated. one of you usually apologized though and you guys moved past it.
this one was different though. you knew you’d been a little mean in your replies but you also felt like he deserved a little reality check. you currently couldn’t even remember why you were arguing due to your drunken state, but you knew it was something you guys could easily get over. you two would probably forget about it by morning anyway.
when you finally saw the big truck pull into the driveway, you quickly stood and almost immediately regretted the sudden action. your head began to spin and a pain accumulated behind your eyelids as you drunkenly stumbled to his car. he was standing on the passengers side waiting for you.
once you approached after tripping over your own feet, he opened up the door for you without a word and helped you up the big step to get inside. he shut it behind you and made his way into his own seat. he assured you had your seatbelt on and began reversing out of the driveway without a word.
“i’m sorry,” you slurred quietly, noticing the way both his hands held the steering wheel instead of one of them resting on your thigh. “didn’t know who else to call.”
you heard him sigh and begin to drive. “would rather you call me than anyone else,” he admitted honestly and spared a glance in your direction. his heart broke a little at the soft pout on your lips and the sad glint in your eyes. “‘nd i’m not mad at you, baby. ‘s fine.”
your eyes glistened with tears as you looked at him. “you’re not?” you mumbled under your breath, eyes feeling heavier and your head getting all foggy.
he shook his head with a shrug and gently rested his hand on your lower thigh just above your knee, thumb soothing over your skin reassuringly. “could never be mad at you,” he said before the car fell into a comfortable silence. the only sound being the quiet song playing on his radio.
you didn’t know when you fell asleep or how long it’d been since, but you began to wake to the sight of rafe standing in front of you looking extremely focused and a soft towel being dragged carefully over your cheeks. you were sat on the bathroom counter with your legs spread slightly and him standing between them with majority of your body weight leaning against his.
he was holding your jaw in one hand while the other hand did what you assumed was taking off your makeup. when you finally fluttered your eyes open for real this time, he scanned your face and placed the towel down on the counter. “you have fun tonight?”
you nodded and smiled softly. “mhm. morgan’s friends are really nice. the bar was so cool,” you replied, awkwardly rubbing your hands along your thighs not knowing whether or not it was appropriate to touch him. “‘m really sorry, rafe.”
he went silent for a moment but his eyes stayed fixed on yours. “its okay, sweetheart. we both said some shit we shouldn’t have. ‘s alright. people make mistakes.”
“i was bein’ a bitch earlier,” you mumbled, leaning your forehead against his chest.
he laughed softly and smoothed a hand down the back of your head comfortingly. “i think i can handle your attitude pretty well by now,” he replied just barely above a whisper. “c’mon. time for bed.”
you instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands found the backs of your thighs, lifting you and walking you to your shared bedroom before dropping you down gently on your side. he was quick to pull his shirt over his head and crawl under the covers beside you.
you scooted closer to his side and sighed at the familiar warmth you enjoyed so much. his arm loosely fell to the dip of your waist as he scrolled through netflix to find a movie on, knowing you couldn’t sleep without the tv on. “i love you baby,” you muttered through a sleep-laced voice.
he smiled and pressed a kiss to your hair. “i love you more, angel.”
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