#out of water part 2
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i'm drunk off two lavender martinis what the fuck do you MEAN dan and phil went on a step by step recreation of their japan trip as a part of a HONEYMOON episode for their sims. be so fr rn be so serious please. dan howell you have 4 minutes to respond . phil, keep it up babygirl. lavender martini recipe in the tags
#2 oz vanilla vodka (i used pearl bc its cheap and good)#1 oz lemon juice#1 oz lavender syrup (1 part sugar 1 part 1 water in a sauce pan#healthy coating of EDIBLE!!!! lavender to cover the top#bring to boil then reduce to a simmer for 5 mins#take off heat and let that shit steep for a bit#longer the better#i say 25 mins at the LEAST for a strong flavor#15 mins will do the job tho probs#filter out the lavender w a siv#add 3 drops each of blue/red food dye to make it purple if u want#garnish w a lemon#i bartend at a restaurant and this is one of our signature cocktails#i was iffy about lavender cocktails/lattes n shit before#but this drink changed me. the perfect balance of lavender notes and sweet/citrus#dan and phil#daniel howell#phil lester#amazingphil#dan and phil games#dnp#dnpgames#dipnpip#danisnotonfire#do people still use that tag#whatever. its there#danandphilgames#<3#i love them so much#they are my birth mothers
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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not a part 2, but here's a prequel to this sanuso comic I did last month !!! (takes place the night before ,, technically after the first three panels)
#I FORGOR TO MENTION THE FIRST ONE WAS AFTER W7#ok WHATEVER now u know#btw u can read these in any order! ur meant to read the og before the prequel but reading this one first doesnt ruin anything for the og#i think it's funnier to read the first one before this cuz then u read this one knowing what happens later and it's more angsty#LOLL IM MAKING NO SENSE RN SORRY!!!!! PROFESSIONAL YAPPER#op#one piece#sanuso#usosan#sanji#usopp#mintart#black leg sanji#water 7#god usopp#vinsmoke sanji#my art#comic#anygays sorry i took a month to get this out ermm i dont have any plans for a part 2 to the og so interpret it however u want#also sorry it's so CLUNKY i reallyyyy hope it's readable or maybe ive stared at it too long UGHH i hope it's not too boring lol#IDK IM NOT VERY GOOD WITH COMICS but i cant write either so this is the best i can do plus i NEEDED to get this idea out of my head
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last day of mermay so huzzah
#dune#dune part two#dune 2#paul atreides#feyd rauth harkonnen#feydpaul#feyd x paul#paul x feyd#you see with the cultural importance of water for the fremen the layers of complexity compounding in a mermaid au would be—*17 GUNSHOTS*#please somebody hear me out#i’m prolly gonna make more of this…#back with my bullshit#my artwork
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Do psychotropic drugs and/or ritual play a role in any of the blightseed cultures? A pretty broad question, lol
Yeah that’s a very broad question, the answer is about as much as it tends to play roles in real history. Alcohol is pretty ubiquitous (outside of cultures that abstain from intoxicants) and used for a variety of purposes, opioids are commonly used in some parts for pain relief or recreational purposes, stimulants (usually in mild, natural forms) are used to provide extra energy, and hallucinogens are most commonly used as part of a larger religious framework (rather than for recreational purposes). Any more elaborate answer kinda has to be case by case in a certain culture or part of the setting.
I'll just take this as an opportunity to talk about the one established sect that pretty much REVOLVES around psychoactive use. This is the Scholarly Order of the Root, which is a sort of mystery religion + elite community of scholars who currently occupy the Ur-Tree and its forest in the far southern Lowlands (southeast of Imperial Wardin, on the same land mass).
The Ur-Tree is the obligatory Huge Fucking Fantasy Tree (and its surrounding forest). It’s a mass of vegetation about a mile tall and almost as old as Plant Life Itself, its upper branches are primeval plants, which become more modern the nearer they get to the ground (and each 'level' holds tiny ecosystems, some containing descendants of LONG-extinct arthropods/other small animals). Its lowest branches and the surrounding forest are contemporary plant life, and all is connected and protected by an incomparably MASSIVE fungal mycelium network (which is itself a living god).
A lot of the Scholars' more secretive practices revolve around experimentation with substance use with the goal of expanding the Mind and transcending the body to fully connect to the Dreamlands, and they have a supply chain of traders and mercenaries called Rootrunners who traffic substances into the Lowlands. Most of their psychoactive use is in a very intentional capacity and not just like, for fun, but a LOT of them are just straight up addicted to cocaine (in the form of alchemically refined bruljenum, which is used for practical purposes of its stimulant effect during long hours of work).
All known psychoactives are desirable for experimentation (particularly hallucinogens), with each having properties that either allow expansion of the Mind, transcendence of the body, or outright divine communion. Their effects are logged in great detail and interpreted to form the basis of the Scholars' understanding of the natural world and reality itself.
The most important substance is Ur-Root, which is root matter from subterranean levels of the Ur-Tree that have both their own intrinsic psychoactive substances and a very, very high concentration of living god mycelium. The tree root contains DMT and the mycelium has its own wholly unique effects (being an actual living god). They alchemically refine it into a purer, more potent form, and use it to expand beyond the body and directly commune with the Giants, a group of entities they have identified as the only true gods.
An Ur-Root trip starts off with minor visual distortion, which turns into shifting fractals that slowly obscure the vision. Eventually the senses are entirely taken over by a 'tunnel' of rapidly shifting fractals and geometries. In a complete trip, the experiencer gets a sense that they have been pushed through a membrane and entered another realm, finding themselves in a distinct experiential Space.
At this point they may encounter entities which communicate to them in a language impossible to describe but wholly understood. These beings are understood to be the Giants, or at least aspects of the Giants that mortals are capable of comprehending (they often take familiar tutelary forms of the Mantis or the Snake, or appear resembling the same type of sophont that the experiencer is, all composed of ever-shifting geometries). The experiencer often feels a sense of unconditional and endless love from these beings, though the Giants may be more hostile and may appear in the form of the Trickster (usually a cultural figure regarded as malicious, be it an animal or otherwise) in a bad trip.
(^Up until this point, this has mostly just been a DMT 'breakthrough' experience ft. 'machine elves' and the like).
They are then removed from this space and returned to something that feels like the real world, but is nearly unrecognizable. They have a sense of rapidly moving through time, and will usually see 'the spires' towards the beginning, which just so happen to look like this:
(source + some context via Implication- the spires are exactly what this art is depicting)
The experiencer continues to move across an unfathomable amount of time, occasionally 'seeing' other such flashes of unfamiliar landscapes and creatures, and yet also being devoid of all their senses, the 'seeing' is pure, unfiltered experience. There is a sense of interconnectedness with all life, and that one has become the forest (or even Life) itself. The sense of time is wildly distorted, the trip lasts only about 5 minutes but feels like an eternity and is understood as literal hundreds of millions of years.
The experiencer has usually lost any remaining sense of Self and individual consciousness during this phase (in which case this time distortion is usually a neutral or even peaceful experience), but some retain a fraction of their identity, and find themselves trapped and conscious while experiencing what feels like eternity (which can be LIFE-CHANGINGLY distressing, even after the fact).
(^This latter part of the trip is the effects of the Ur-Tree fungus).
The trip ends with a sense of rushing through the ground and back up into one's body, at which point they will abruptly return to their senses and consciousness. The details are then immediately retrieved via interview and recorded in immense detail. The whole experience is understood as having been full comprehension of the Dreamlands, communion with the Giants, and then a tour through the act of creation.
This is done as part of the initiatory practice into the inner mystery-religion of the scholars, and as needed for study by high scholar-priests. It is not taken lightly, both as it is absolute communion with the gods and reality, and in that it can be a very, very difficult experience. People who have gone through this often walk away with a permanently shifted perspective, often in a positive and/or comforting way- a sense of interconnectedness with all life, a peace with the concept of death, seeing less of a point in individual ego and the concept of Self, and comfort in the sense of divine love they (may have) experienced. This heavily influences the philosophy of the Scholars and has had effects by proxy in the religious worldviews of the region.
Details of this experience are closely guarded, and initiates are given absolutely no prior knowledge and expectations for their trip. This is seen as a necessity- their naivety will allow for a true, unfiltered experience, and can be used to gauge whether they should or should not be accepted. Those that have a distinctly bad trip upon initiation may be assumed to have been 'rejected' by the giants and thus denied full priesthood, though this largely depends on How they interpret their distressing trip- those who identify this as a test and harsh lesson in a journey to enlightenment may be accepted (as this is how fully initiated scholar-priests interpret and handle their bad trips).
This inner priesthood is only a small fraction of the Scholarly Order, and its greater function is as a hub of education and repository of knowledge, and Scholar-trained doctors can provide some of the best medical care available in the setting ('best medical care in this setting' only means so much but it's pretty solid, relatively speaking). Only a chosen few Scholars ever get to commune with the Ur-Root, and most of the divine secrets revealed in the process are kept hidden (though they indirectly influence the politics and worldview of the entire order).
#I'm kind of fascinated by the quasi-religious beliefs that have developed around recreational hallucinogen use (ESPECIALLY DMT)#In contrast to like. Uses of DMT-containing substances like ayahuasca for long-established religious purposes#So this concept is basically 'what if a religion was FORMED from pretty much the ground up out of DMT usage'#Like the common 'entities' people encounter in recreational use being identified as the Real Gods and producing a religious worldview#that is mostly rooted in this experience (while still influenced by other cultural factors)#Also the like. Meta going on here is that the fungus is a 'living god' and the oldest one on the planet#It is a VERY rare type of living god that is 'created' by non-sophont (non-sentient even) beings and exists as a mycelial network#that perfectly supports and protects an entire forest. Basically a god for plants. It is so deeply interconnected with its forest that the#usual power sophont belief would have over it has basically zero influence. This is absolutely the closest thing to A God in canon.#(While still not being a Creator/sapient/or even supernatural within the framework of this reality. Just VERY unique.)#The Ur-Tree has always been above water and grows very very slowly over the course of millenia by kind of 'pulling up' plant life from#the ground (so you see ancient long extinct plants in its higher branches and contemporary plants close to/on the ground)#The mycelium helps shield and feed extinct plant life that could not otherwise survive in the contemporary environment#And the forest is big enough to produce its own weather (it is a rainforest and has been ever since the capacity for rainforests Existed)#It's not really a tree at all in any normal sense but an amalgam of thousands of types of plants-#Some growing on top of others and some interwoven beyond any distinction. It does form a superficially treelike structure#(mostly in order to physically support its own mass) with a very wide 'trunk' and massive 'roots' (which end in actual roots).#It feeds on its own perpetually shedding and decaying 'body' and any animal life that dies in the forest is VERY rapidly#decayed and absorbed by the mycelial network (to the point that many large scavengers cannot survive in this forest)#(If you kill a cow and leave it on the ground for just 1/2 hour you'll see little strands of mycelium already growing up around it)#The fungus fruits and spores on a very infrequent basis (scale of ten-thousands of years) which causes the forest to very slowly spread#Fortunately this isn't really an existential threat because the spread is VERY slow (even on a geological scale) and the fungus#itself is rather mundane in nature and cannot usually compete against established fungal networks in other places.#Though there are little Ur-Tree mycelium groves and woodlands in other parts of the world that may (over untold millennia)#generate their own Ur-Trees (there's already a few but they are all MUCH smaller and not readily recognized as the same thing)#WRT THE TRIP:#Most of what I'm describing is a DMT trip but consumption of high doses of Ur-Tree mycelium has both mundane psychoactive effects#and IS kind of the person experiencing the fungus' entire lifetime and seeing flashes of the world's actual evolutionary history.#The amount of material knowledge that can be accurately gleaned from this this is VERY limited though.
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Why have sex when u can watch blackhead removal videos
#u even get bad sex. which is when you want to throttle the neck of whoever’s doing said blackhead removal#someone in the comments section said all of us are watching this thinkijg move over and let me do it. and honestly. yeah#it’s hard to find good videos that either 1) dont cut out just before the satisfying part or 2) don’t take fucking FOREVER to do it#in the most cursed awful way possible#im very passionate about this. unfortunately I can’t just blurt this out like a water cooler conversation#but it’s fucking satisfyingggggg#I’m not a big fan of the squeezing but like if u use the tweezers JUST RIGHT and twirl it around and then PULL IT OUT. chills#if orgasms were real that’s what it would feel like#I feel like laios dunmeshi just talking about this#yapping
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don't ask me where i've been cause i have no answer :y
#✧ : filed. admin.#like where did i go for months . . . girl . . .#i haven't really been playing genshin since 5.0 which sucks bc i love capitano but floplan... water da heyul#i logged back on for liben to hint at a poor/criminal part of snezhnaya and then logged out#how am i still obsessed with this bitch !#if i told you i wrote pantalone daily on diskhord would you believe me . . . its been 2 years and 4 months since the trailer. 10 seconds of#screen time. and i've been microwaving him in my head ever since. i'm sustained on crumbs. my own delusion. i'm actually terrified of his#appearance in game because then he is released from the fanon purgatory and then canon starts. and i love my headcanons#so i can't let my fanonlone go . . . liyue pantalone save me... save me liyue pantalone . .#anyway hi ^_^
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IM CALLING IT RIGHT NOW THIS IS GOING TO BE SATAN AND LEVIATHAN
#IM SCREEEEEEAAAAAAAMMIIINNNGGGGGGG#ALSO SHOW OF HANDS WHO ELSE NOTICED THE COSTUME BETWEEN FIZZ AND BLITZ AND THE STOLAS BREAKING THE DEAL#FIZZ WAS HELPING HIM WITH HIS DATE NOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHGWSNKIFW3KFSVJKM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#helluva boss#apple talks#also this is TOTALLY going to be 2 more of the sins—Patrick page is a big time broadway actor and there’s no way they got#John FUCKING waters for anyone but such a major character#and if I’m not mistaken Harvey guillien is the parrot#vasago? is that what andrealphus called him?#help I’m in love with the parrot already and part of me want Stolas to rebound with him#but all of me wants stolitz to work out HELLLLLPPPPPPPPPP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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saw your tags on the poll about having anon on. consider this your dead dove AND pizza crust. your intelligence has made me a sharper reader, a greater appreciator of poetry, and a more discenrning leftist. also you're funny and all your opinions about The Third Man are THE most correct. thanks for being online.
#i keep anon on so my mutuals have a safe space to hold my broken body aloft like that part in Spiderman 2 where he passes out on a train#i am literally in a dark fucking place right now so this means the world#they're watering down $20 g&ts the music is too fucking loud one of my coworkers has been on the can for half an hour and i cannot see SHIT#anon please come pick me up i wanna go home#anonymous#assbox#TESTIMONIALS
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They should invent a way to call the boarders about my cats that wouldn't involve irritating a real live person who has a job to do that is not telling me my cats are ok.
#Ive only called once and only after Cardio should have been out of surgery#which i think shows immense self restraint on my part#Things have gone down hill quick irl and i just need my kitties to be ok#2 and 3 were supposed to go under anesthesia yesterday but someone fucked up and left food and water in their kennel over night#so their procedures have been moved to tomorrow.#which. im glad it was delayed given the chances of aspiration.#but given the general stress level rn i would have Loved it if this could have been dealt with already#the threat of them not handling anesthesia well continues to loom#the car thing set off a powder keg of issues with my dad my mom had been managing before she left him for being a powder keg of issues#so good news is he's getting help finally. bad news is its a whether he likes it or not situation.
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SRK!Don girlies pack it up and take it home we're all f*cked after 84 years we finally get official news about Don 3 coming in 2025 or so and there's uh. i can't believe i'm saying this this is actually coming out of my mouth but there's no Shah Rukh
#film: don 3#don#don 2006#don: the chase begins again#don 2#don 3#shah rukh khan#srk#farhan akhtar#bollywood#local gay watches Bollywood.txt#Farhan posts on his Instagram about how lucky he was to have both Amitabh and Shah Rukh as part of the franchise#and now they're passing on the mantle to another actor bitch!!!!! you robbed me of older DILF!Don bitch!!!!!#i was rooting for you we were all rooting for you we saw the rumors and then had them credibly refuted so what is this. wtf is this#istg if we get an announcement about the successor and it's Ranveer i'm going to throw something#i love the man but i cannot see him as Don. if you wanted to do sh*t like this you should have just made Don 3 earlier#and done a spinoff ffs#i'm grieving rn. literally grieving i only get two films with SRK in what is possibly his sexiest role to date??? you're f*cking kidding me#ykw maybe this is for the better. maybe Shah Rukh will have a project in 2025 that will blow the Don franchise out of the water#and have me thinking that it might have been a good idea to leave it alone. let's think happy thoughts happy thoughts—#*screeches*#Farhan i'm coming to your house. i'm in your walls Farhan
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I changed the smokey special drinky drink a bit 🤏 but instead of actually altering anything I just went from the juice of a lemon wedge to half a large lemon 🍋
#smokey talks#everything else is still the same tho#1 part lemon juice (half a lemon) 2 parts blueberry pomegranate juice#then 1 half to 1 part lime juice + slap a mint sprig#then top up with sparkling water over ice#its the best refresher out there........#also u can make it fancier by adding flavored bitters and a splash of tonic water#it tastes great on its own but if ur looking for a kick add wildwoods vodka#they have like a toooon of fruit crushed into their vodka. i recommend the huckleberry one#either that or any unflavored vodka. i dont like flavored vodka but wildwood is just fruit + vodka
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OC Crossovers (1/3): Tea Time with Myr and Lidija (@myrmyrtheorca 's OCs!) Kurumi may or may not be telling Lidija about shoujo manga while Myr is just chilling there and relaxing from the nice atmosphere.
#khr#khre#khr oc#oc#einart#ninomiya kurumi#khr killer whale#myr killer whale#lidija killer whale#myrmyrtheorca#ninomiya kanako#me trying to cope from the hell level temp that is a SEA country temp#by imagining it's around the transition of autumn to winter there#and they're having warm tea while discussing various topics in a kotatsu#i say while suddenly remembering how i opened the faucet earlier and the supposed cold running water is already preheated by the weather#ALSO THE 1/3 COUNTER IS FOR REAL THIS TIME I ALR HAVE 2 OTHER SKETCHES WITH OTHER FRIENDS' OCS PROCESSING IN GL4ZE RN#bc the other times i put a counter it didn't end up having a next part sdjfbsdfjhbds#also yeah those tea are csp 3d assets lmaooo if im gonna be fr here i only know how to draw beautiful wome--- i mean people#plus my body pain is flaring like crazy the past few days i keep passing out#so i can't do full colored pieces too much ueueueue#BODY PAIN WON'T STOP ME FROM DRAWING OCS THO#anyway i hope i was able to draw myr and lidija correctly; did my best to do so sdjfshjvf they're so 🥹🥹💖💖#i esp think lidija and kurumi would get along a lot#then myr would often get caught off guard by kurumi's compliments hehe#kana is just sizing them up and observing from afar; she's just very wary like that#wow im glad they do those “see more” thingie for tags so i can go free real estate in here
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this week has been fucking awful I just wanna lay down somewhere quiet w my gf and cats. holy shit
#1. my painful wisdom tooth was found to have gnarly intricate hook that’s already grown into my sinus cavity.#so. removal and recovery and cost are going to make me explode already#2. my cat the next day was diagnosed with an aggressive type of cancer after we found a mass under her tongue that can’t be removed.#and is not realistic in cost vs the fact it’ll probably keep returning since it’s an area that’s difficult to fully remove.#she’s having a harder time eating and it’s just reminding me of the same thing that happened to my extremely beloved childhood cat.#same thing happened to her until she was just bones and couldn’t stop drooling. it’s so painful to feel the life leaving something you love#3. our motherfucking upstairs neighbor’s god damn water heater broke and flooded all the apts under but we’re directly underneath.#bro I woke up to water pouring from our CEILING LIGHTS and cracks all over the ceiling. I had to physically smash the smoke alarm#ripped it from the ceiling since it’s ceiling socket was LEAKING but it shorted out and wouldn’t stop so I ripped the battery out#our carpet and shit is all torn up now with industrial fans and dehumidifiers. but it’s scaring my sick cat to not eating. it’s so sad#4. a towing place I forfeited my old ruined car to keeps sending notarized legal letters about it ending up In Situations.#despite the fact I signed it all completely over and it’s no longer my responsibility#there’s more but I’m tired of typing all this shit#coffee shop forgot to give me my donut and the coffee tasted bad too. that part isn’t any big deal at all lol it just made me start crying
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i've been a zelda fan for more than 4 years. my biggest embarrassment is that i own all of the games (except four swords xd) but have only beat ... like 3 of them
#kitt.txt#im ALMOST done with majoras mask ok????#i left off in the stone tower temple.#and then I'm in the water temple in oot#and uahhh im almost done with totk now#i could've beaten phantom hourglass but I kinda dont like that one#I only beat like one dungeon in spirit tracks#same with albw#I think I beat like 2 dungeons in alttp. I REALLY love that game tho#I LOVEe oracle of ages and seasons BUT. i got stuck at some part in ooa and didn't finish it xd#ALSO... bro. SKYWARD SWORD. ive missed out so much with that game bc i never rlly played it much#i dont think I even got to the first dungeon LOLLL but I do love it#then uhhhsh zelda 2. i own it but I hate it so im not gonna even try to beat it. i mean maybe i will idk#also zelda 1 is fun but I only got to like level 3 or 4#OHH i do kinDA own minish cap?? my sister owns it but ITS IN MY HOUSE. lol. and I have it on my 3ds too. I never really got that far in it.#actually I do have four swords on my 3ds? i couldn't figure it out tho#i have triforce heroes too but no one likes that game idc abt it#O YEA LINKS AWAKENING.#i didn't even get to the first dungeon bro#i think thats all of em yea#i used to be able to name all these games in chronological order#zelda
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managing your parents emotions is so exhausting
#eldest daughter#lol#my stepdad made me yell and cry and now i'm 16 years old again and scared and confused#he insulted me unprovoked publicly/on my front lawn and in onslaught and my mother did nothing to defend me#probably been happening my whole life and I haven't been able to figure it out until it was on my turf#yelled at me that i had no common sense and was stupid because i didn't put down grass seed#i have a degree in soil science and a fucking plan but he didn't want to hear any of that#just wanted to insult me loudly on my front lawn unprovoked after raking up all my leaves without being asked to#(i intended to mulch and leave them as ground cover... to protect the soil.........which he was yelling at me because the soil is uncovered#then he mowed the weeds down to the soil#and yelled at me that my bare soil was all going to blow away#BRO YOU MADE IT BARE#yelled 'it screams lack of common sense'#becuase I didn't plant grass FIRST THING when we moved in#our house wasn't livable INSIDE when we bought it and now it's great and we worked hard so we had other fucking priorities#also I seeded cover crop and it didn't germinate bc it needed more water than I could give it in CO#like grass lawn is the past and unsustainable and I'm not interested and I'm planning on seeding clover but not 2 days before the frost????#so annoying#and like he's still a parental figure right so that's like just an awful layer to have in this bc he's such an immature bully#and I forgot to have my trauma senses turned on to know his emotions before he does in my own home so he got me#didn't even get into the whole my moms lack of defense of me part#fuck this shit#t#at least ranting in my tags usually helps me stop crying
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