#our parents can suck it up and deal with it !!! they are fucking us over !!!

[piplupod]

.

we've been using cardboard and then a thumbtacked-to-the-wall scarf to block the light in our bedroom window at night up until recently (this is our fourth or fifth year of living down here and we only finally got to have a curtain rod installed a couple months ago), theres mold that grows around the windowframes in the winter if we don't keep up with vinegar/bleach on it, springtails are in the bathroom for weeks at a time from ??? god knows where, there is an obvious mold problem down here that our mother says she "just doesnt know what to do" about and refuses to look into it, we find weevils and carpet beetles frequently and consistently (like at least three or four every week), and there are several unfinished spots of the basement that our dad nearly started crying over last year because he apparently felt so bad that we have to live with this and yet he does not make it a priority to finish or fix (even though the main floor that we're not allowed into without permission has gotten several purely cosmetic upgrades).

we do not complain because complaining gets us abused more. we pay rent each month. we have literally Zero income whatsoever, and our mother has expressed anger and disapproval at the idea of us getting onto welfare and disability for the past three years and suddenly this year out of the blue she says to us "why haven't you been working on getting onto PWD? you know it takes a long time, right? you should've started working on that a while ago!"

i think we're allowed to fuck up the property ever so slightly in an attempt to make it tolerable to live in. jesus fucking christ.

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Written in the Stars

Dieter Bravo X OFC ||| Completed Oneshot

Series Summary: Dieter and Natalia receive an unexpected phone call that results in an emotional journey and an expansion of their little family.

Word Count: 16.6K

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health and emotional trauma. Brief mentions of suicide/death, child neglect/mistreatment, and infertility. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. Daddy Dieter comes with his own warnings. This fic is meant to raise foster care and mental health awareness.

✨Note: This can be read as a standalone fic. However, it is an extra for Destiny & Deliverance, which takes a deeper dive into events that are mentioned in the Epilogue.

EXTRAS ||| TEASERS ||| VIBES ||| MAIN MASTERLIST

Chapter Quote: “I’ve always wanted a miniature version of myself.”  

It was 9:37 AM on a Monday morning. I had just sat down in the conference room with some of our foundation's biggest donors to discuss plans for a non-profit community and resource center geared toward providing counseling and mental health treatment for low-income families. My hope was to secure additional funding for the project. I was admittedly nervous because these donations would be the deciding factor on if this pursuit was even possible at the present time. We had just made it past the pleasantries when Dieter stuck his head through the door. He looked around wild-eyed as he took in the room before finally focusing on my surprised face that was staring back at him. He cleared his throat, before pushing the door open further and stepping inside, “Talia, I’m s-sorry to interrupt, but can I borrow you for a minute?”  

I spoke through a tight smile, “Dieter, I’m a little busy right now…”  

He was almost vibrating from anxiety as the look on his face shifted to something resembling…panic, “I know, I’m really sorry…b-but we have a minor emergency that needs attention…like now.”  

My brows furrowed as I took in his expression, “Okaaay…” I replied with confusion etched on my face as I turned toward our guests, “Please excuse us for a minute.” I gave them a nervous smile, moving to follow Dieter out into the hallway. As soon as the conference room door closed behind us, I puffed air out of my cheeks, then asked him what was going on. He rubbed both hands over his face before meeting my eyes. 

“I don’t even know…where to start…with this.” He let out a shaky breath before continuing.  

“Amber, from CDSS (California Department of Social Services), just called. You know Luca…that I mentor in the after-school program?” 

I nodded, completely unsure of where this was going.  

“His mom, she uhhh…” His brows drew down together and his face tightened, like he was fighting back emotion, “Her neighbor found her early this morning…she’s…gone. They need a temporary emergency foster for Luca.” 

I sucked in a stuttered breath. That certainly was not the news I was expecting. I shook my head in shock, “What does that mean? What are you saying?” 

Dieter rubbed at the back of his neck as he looked up at me through his lashes, “I know we never made a decision on potentially becoming foster parents, or even adopting…” 

Realization crossed my face, Dieter wanted us to be the emergency foster, “Dieter…this is a big fucking deal…where are we gonna put a kid? We don’t have any kid…stuff.” 

“I-I know it is…I mean, I’m sure he has his own stuff…” 

My face softened, realizing now that he really wanted this, “Dieter, this isn't a dog. It’s a whole fucking human…and not even a baby. He’s gonna have feelings, emotions, and…trauma. That’s a lot to take on.”  

He sighed, “I-I know…I don’t think there’s anyone more equipped to handle trauma than us though…and I’m the only person he knows. If we don’t take him, he’s gonna go to the foster facility or be placed with a random family. I can’t let that happen...he’ll be terrified.”  

I fisted my fingers through the top of my hair as I stared at him. “It’s temporary?” I asked. Dieter nodded. “Are you gonna be able to handle that? Will you be able to handle giving him up?” 

He nodded again, “As long as I go into it knowing that’s the plan, then yes…I c-can handle it.”  

I wasn’t completely convinced with that answer. This was one of the reasons we hadn’t gone forward with being foster parents. Dieter had been doing so well the last few years, but this was certainly something that could trigger a manic episode for him. He had a hard time with loss, but he did have an equally strong desire to help others in need.    

“And what if they can’t find another place for him to go? What if it’s not temporary?” 

He let out a controlled breath, “Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”  

I had to look away from him for a moment, my eyes roamed over the light gray colored walls of the hallway we stood in. Both of our emotions were running high, and I wasn’t really sure how to handle this being dumped on us out of the blue, especially right now.   

I rubbed at the tension forming at the bridge of my nose, “When do they need to know something?” 

Dieter grimaced, “Like, now.” 

“Fuck. Why did this have to happen now…during this meeting…” 

I reached to rub at my shoulder as my chest tightened, my heart now beating double time. I hadn’t had a panic attack in a very long time, but I suddenly felt like I was about to. Dieter immediately noticed and grabbed my hand, cradling it between both of his large ones and brought it to his lips. I could already feel my heart rate slowing at his touch. After all this time, he was still my anchor. 

“I mean, we don’t even have time to discuss it? Think it through?” I asked. 

He stared at me with his large brown eyes as he shook his head, “Unfortunately, no. They have to figure out what to do with him if we can’t take him.”  

I was reluctant as my mind raced through all the possible outcomes of this situation - trying to determine if this was something we could handle if it ended badly. We had been through so much already in our attempts to expand our family, I didn’t know how much more we could take if things took an unexpected turn.  

I had concerns about taking in a child that wasn’t our own. It was the reason we had stalled on starting the adoption process. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to form any type of meaningful bond having not given birth to them myself and I was afraid of being a bad parent because of that. Dieter and I had discussed all of these things, and he knew why I was hesitant. Dr. Rosenberg, our psychiatrist, had assured me that all of these feelings were normal when considering adopting, so that had relieved some of my anxiety. However, I was now worried the same thing would happen if we became foster parents. The fear was amplified knowing that the situation was temporary, making it even harder on us emotionally. I knew I would inevitably put-up walls to protect myself.  

I managed to push my feelings aside and to think of Dieter. I wanted to try for him because I knew that he had bonded with Luca since becoming part of his life. Dieter was right, Luca would be terrified being with strangers and I wasn’t sure I could live with that either. Especially knowing that we could keep it from happening. I had only met Luca briefly, in passing, but I had heard everything about him from Dieter. He sounded like a sweet kid.  

Thinking further, I realized this may only be for a few days. Surely Luca had other family that would be willing to take him in, right? We could handle a few days. However, if it stretched on beyond that, we might have a problem. Dieter interrupted my racing thoughts by placing his hands on my shoulders and dipping his head to meet my gaze, “Tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours.” 

I sighed, and peered up at him through my lashes, “You know what’s going on in my mind…we’ve already talked about it all…and…I worry about you, obviously.”  

He gave me a small smile, “Baby, I promise, I’ll be fine. I know I can do this.” 

My eyes roamed over his face as I read his expression, there was so much conviction behind his words this time that it erased any concerns I had for him. I nodded slowly, “Ok, make the call.” 

His soulful eyes lit up with a wide smile that broke across his face, “Really? You’re sure?”  

I inhaled deeply and nodded, now in shock over what we had just agreed to do. Dieter pulled me in for a tight hug, mumbling into the top of my hair that this was a good thing. When I stepped away, I suddenly remembered that I had a room full of very important people waiting for me.  

I huffed out a breath, “Fuck…what about this meeting?”  

Dieter’s eyes widened, “Umm, well…I think they just needed to know if we could take him right away. Go finish the meeting and we can head over to get him after. How long do you think it’ll be? Like an hour?” 

I nodded, “Yeah, unless they laugh me out of there before that.”  

His brow furrowed before he started rubbing the upper part of my arms, “Hey, relax. You’ve got this. I can come in and charm them if you need me to?” He gave me his goofy lop-sided grin.  

I snorted out a laugh. He always knew the right thing to say to lift my mood.  

“Hopefully, that won’t be necessary, but I’ll keep that in mind if I need reinforcements.”  

Dieter chuckled, leaning down to give me a quick kiss before I turned to go back into the conference room. Everyone immediately snapped to attention as I walked in, a few inquiring if everything was ok. The only response I could muster was, “I hope so,” followed by a nervous laugh. 

It wasn’t my best presentation. I was distracted by all the thoughts swirling in my head, which was making it hard for me to focus. I managed to make it through everything though. Everyone seemed excited about the project and pledged more funding than we were asking for, which was a huge relief. At least that was one less thing I could stop worrying about. After everyone said their goodbyes, they all filed out the door to walk toward the lobby. I followed behind them, until I reached Dieter’s office door to find him looking down at his phone as he paced around the room.  

Once Dieter realized I was standing in the doorway, his head snapped up. He looked at me with wide eyes, “Well?” 

I smiled, “We’re good. More than good actually.” 

He hissed out a low “Yeeesss” as he punched the air with a fisted hand. He moved toward me, grabbing my wrist to pull me towards him for a hug, “I told you it would go ok.”  

When he pulled away, we looked at each other nervously, knowing what our next task was. 

“What’s the plan?” I asked.  

Dieter gave me a tight smile, “Well, we go down to the CDSS offices and pick him up. Amber said he has some clothes with him and not much else. I guess we’ll have some paperwork to fill out when we get there too.”   

I let out a slow breath, “I still can’t believe we’re doing this…” 

He gave me a serious look, “This is a good thing and you’re gonna be great. Stop getting in your head about it. He’s gonna love you. I mean, he likes me for fuck’s sake. You’ll be fine.”  

I snorted, shaking my head at him as I walked next door to my office to grab my things. We left without telling anyone what was going on. It was too much to explain right now. We were silent as Dieter drove to our destination. He held my hand tightly the whole way, knowing that my mind was racing, my thoughts making me more anxious as we got closer.  

At some point in our journey to expand our family, Dieter had become the source of strength in our relationship, and I had become the one who struggled emotionally. I think a lot of it had to do with the hormone injections I had been taking but knowing that didn’t make it any easier. After a year of no success, I couldn’t do it anymore. The disappointment that came with each negative pregnancy test had become overwhelming and was slowly breaking me down. It had really left a scar on my heart. 

Dieter remained positive throughout the entire ordeal and took such good care of me. He was truly supportive, constantly checking in with me and making me talk through my emotions. We knew this was a possibility before choosing this path and worked to prepare ourselves for it, but that didn’t make it any less disappointing when things didn’t go how we had hoped. The residuals from that experience still hung over us when it came to the topic of expanding our family. I had a nagging fear that things were never going to go our way and I was having a hard time overcoming it. Even now, my brain was making a list of every possible negative outcome and how that could affect us individually and as a couple.  Deep down I knew that wasn’t the way to go into this, but I couldn’t help it.  

Before I knew it, we were pulling into the CDSS parking lot. I was in a daze as I exited the vehicle, quickly moving to Dieter’s side and lacing our fingers back together. When we entered the building, Dieter asked for Amber, then we were led to the room where she was sitting with Luca. She saw us approaching through the glass windows and came out into the hallway to meet us.  

She gave us a sad smile as she greeted us. Dieter wasted no time getting to business. “How’s he doing?” he asked.  

Amber sighed, “It’s hard to tell. I’m not sure if he fully understands what’s going on. He’s sad, but calm. He perked up some when I told him you were coming to pick him up. He had been asking for Dieter since he got here. That’s why I thought to call you guys first.”  

Dieter turned to look at the small boy who had a vacant look in his eyes and a frown on his lips. “Can I go to him?” he asked. 

Dieter’s gaze shifted to Amber, his eyes now pleading. She nodded, stepping aside so he could enter the room. Dieter inhaled deeply, squeezing my hand a little tighter before releasing it. I watched as he approached, kneeling down to Luca’s level as he talked to him in hushed tones. I could see Luca’s bottom lip trembling and his dark eyes rounding before he leaned in and buried his face into Dieter’s shoulder. Dieter rubbed at the back of the boy’s shaggy dark brown locks, hugging him tightly. I couldn’t see Dieter’s face, but I could tell by the tense set of his shoulders that he was fighting back his own emotions.  

Seeing Luca now took me back to the family photos littered throughout our home in Sonoma. He reminded me so much of a younger version of Dieter that it was almost scary. It also tugged at my heartstrings in a way that I didn’t expect. They had more in common than just looks, both having lost their mothers at a very young age. I didn’t know the details yet, but I assumed Luca experienced it in a traumatic way based on Dieter’s reaction. Seeing Dieter with the boy and how they interacted also had me feeling some kind of way. It was clear Luca trusted him and felt comfortable in his presence. It was enough to stifle the negative thoughts that had plagued my mind during the drive over.  

“Did Dieter tell you what happened?” Amber asked.  

I shook my head, still watching through the glass as I answered, “No, we didn’t get into the details. I was doing good just to wrap my head around this even happening.”  

She nodded, “I can understand that. I know it came out of nowhere.” She sighed before continuing, “The neighbor found her this morning. It’s looking like an intentional overdose. She had been like that for a couple days…at least. She did it with Luca there.” 

My head turned, shocked eyes finally meeting Amber’s. “He was with her like that for days?” 

She nodded, “As far as we know. He won’t really talk to us, so it’s a lot of speculation at this point.”  

I felt sick. It was worse than I thought. I couldn’t imagine what the kid was feeling, and I didn’t even know where to start in dealing with it, but Dieter did. He had been in a similar situation once. I felt a streak of panic go through me, worried that this would bring up emotions for Dieter that he might have a hard time with. I had to remind myself that he had successfully processed through that trauma and would hopefully be able to use it in a positive way now.  

Amber continued, “Based on the environment, I would say it wasn’t a good situation for the kid. The place was a mess, there was no food in the house, and he didn’t have a lot of belongings. It’s sad all around.” 

I had to find something to focus on before I got emotional, “He didn’t have a lot of belongings? What does he have?” 

Amber shrugged, “Not a whole lot. Some ill-fitting clothes, that’s about it. Oh, and a stuffed raccoon. He said “Mr. Dieter” got it for him at the zoo and wanted to bring it…but nothing else.”  

My eyes began to sting. Something about that bit of information nearly knocked me over the edge. I sucked in a sharp breath, needing to change the subject. “Do you know of any family yet?” I asked. 

She shook her head, “No, nothing yet. It doesn’t look like she kept in touch with anyone, so it’s gonna take some work to figure it out. We’ll look into the dad’s side as well, obviously…it doesn’t look like she was in touch with any of them either.  

I felt my stomach flutter at the idea that there appeared to be no one to take him. Was that some spark of hope? I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, but I did have a small urge to give this kid a better life.  

Amber drew me from my thoughts, “So, we’re gonna have you guys take him on as a non-relative extended family foster. You have an established relationship with him that can be proven, and it’s documented, so I don’t think it will be an issue. I can prove it’s the best plan of action for him currently while we go through our processes.  

I nodded, agreeing that it seemed like the way to go. She left me to go gather the paperwork for us to fill out. I turned back to the window, now watching Dieter and Luca talking quietly to each other. Luca was hugging his stuffed raccoon as Dieter brushed the boy's wavy hair out of his dark eyes. Luca had a small smile on his face from whatever Dieter had said to him. The moment seemed so private. I almost felt like I was intruding.  

After a few minutes, Dieter’s head turned, his eyes searching for me. When our gazes met, he motioned for me to join them. I was hesitant, not wanting to spoil their moment. I was also unsure of how to act toward this kid. I didn’t know him like Dieter did, and honestly, I felt like an outsider in this situation. I needed to suck it up, there was no avoiding it.  

I took a calming breath before entering the room, moving to sit next to Dieter. Dieter put his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side, “Luca, do you remember meeting Talia? She’s my wife…the one that keeps me in line.”  

Luca let out a quiet laugh, smiling at me as he nodded. “I remember,” he finally said.   

Dieter glanced over at me, “Luca and I were just talking about getting some lunch.” 

A sad smile formed on my lips, there was no telling when the last time was that this kid had a decent meal. “Yeah, we can do that. Luca, is there anywhere you like to eat? We can go wherever you want.” 

Luca shrugged, “I’m not really sure.” 

It hit me then, this kid probably hadn’t eaten out a lot. I felt like an idiot for asking.  

It was Dieter who spoke next, “How about McDonalds? You liked it that one time we went, right?” 

The boy's chocolate eyes lit up, much like Dieter’s often did when he was excited about something. Luca nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion.  

Amber entered the room with a file full of paperwork. I got to work on it while Dieter kept Luca distracted. There was so much information to fill out and releases to sign for background checks and home visits. It was a little overwhelming. Dieter could sense how I was feeling and made the effort to help calm me. As soon as I felt his hand resting on the small of my back, moving in small circles, I was able to relax and focus. He always knew what I needed and when.  

We were at CDSS for at least two hours, if not longer. I felt absolutely exhausted by the time we left, and I’m pretty sure Dieter and Luca were too. I was on information overload and starting to stress about everything that needed to be done. I was already making a mental list about things Luca would need for school and everyday use. I had never shopped for a boy his age, so it was putting me in a bit of a tizzy.  

As soon as we were in the car, Dieter reached for my hand, “Baby, relax. Everything on that running list in your head doesn’t have to be done today…and I can help you with some of it you know.”  

My lips tugged upward. He knew me too well. “I know…but you know I can’t help myself.”  

As Dieter drove toward the fast food restaurant, I noticed his eyes flicking to the rear view mirror every so often, I assumed to keep an eye on Luca. I too turned to glance back at the boy a few times. Every time I did so, he was staring out the window with his chin propped on his hand. He didn’t look particularly distressed or upset. I wasn’t sure if he had fully grasped what was happening yet. He seemed way too at ease, or maybe that was just because he was with Dieter?    

Once we got into the drive-thru line, Dieter turned to ask Luca what he wanted. He shrugged as his eyebrows rose and disappeared behind his shaggy hair.  

Dieter glanced at me with an arched eyebrow and pursed lips. My brows furrowed. I could already tell this was going to take some adjustments.  

“Chicken nuggets or a burger?” Dieter finally asked.  

“Nuggets.” Luca replied.  

“Chocolate or Vanilla shake?” Dieter followed up.  

“What’s better?” Luca asked.  

“Chocolate…Duh.” Dieter replied. 

Luca giggled, “Chocolate then.”  

I felt like they had had many conversations like this. I loved that Dieter knew how to communicate with Luca in a way that got answers and didn’t cause frustration. I had a feeling a lot of adults probably couldn’t handle that. Here I was taking mental notes for future reference.  

When we got to the drive-thru window, the worker immediately recognized Dieter. It caused a bit of a ruckus as several other workers came over and asked to take a selfie with him. Luca seemed completely unfazed by it. I wondered if this had happened often while he was out doing things with Dieter.  

Once we finally got our food and were on our way home, I looked over at Dieter, “I assume you haven’t told Elaine or Will yet?” 

He sucked air through his teeth, “Nope.”  

“Do you think paparazzi will be an issue?” 

Dieter shrugged, “I dunno. I think when kids are around, they tend to back off some. I hope anyway...”  

I took a deep breath and dropped my head backward onto the seat. I had a feeling this was going to be more complicated in ways that we couldn’t even fathom yet.  

After we got home, we all sat down at the dining room table and ate our incredibly unhealthy meal. Luca seemed in good spirits, but he mostly sat in silence as he took in his surroundings and devoured his food. He would still smile when Dieter said something funny to him and responded to questions, but that was about it. Afterward, Dieter got Luca’s two small bags out of the car, then we showed him to his room and adjoining bathroom. He seemed in awe over the fact that he would have his own bathroom and a TV in the bedroom. It made me sad that something so common and seemingly not that big of a deal to us, was for him.  

While Dieter worked to get Luca settled in, I raided our toiletry stash to get everything he might need for the time being. I felt so unprepared for this situation, and I hated that feeling. I needed to get everything sorted out as soon as possible or I wasn’t going to be able to relax over it.  

When I returned to Luca’s room, Dieter was getting him tucked into bed because he said he was sleepy and wanted to take a nap. I watched as Dieter showed him how to work the TV and asked what kind of shows he liked to watch. Luca shrugged, commenting that he didn’t have many channels, so he didn’t watch much TV. It was just another reminder of the less than ideal situation he had been in.  

I left them alone after that, allowing Luca time to decompress and fall asleep. To help settle my mind, I took a seat on a stool at the kitchen island and started making lists. Lists of things we needed to do, essentials that Luca would need, school supplies, it almost seemed never ending. In the middle of all that I was googling things because I didn’t know anything about what a boy his age would like. I was also creating carts and adding items for delivery. It was overwhelming to see it all in writing, but it did make me feel better.  

About a half hour later, I could hear Dieter on a call in the living room. It sounded like he was talking to Elaine, his publicist, and Will, his manager - filling them in on the events of the day. After he ended the call, he appeared behind me in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.  

“Will is gonna clear my schedule for the next couple of weeks so I can be around for Luca.” he said into the side of my neck.  

“He may not be here that long,” I reminded him.  

He shrugged, “Then you’ll just have to put up with me being around.” 

I chuckled, “Yes, because that’s just so terrible.” I said sarcastically.  

Dieter reached to grab the notepad sitting on the counter in front of me, looking it over before dropping it back in its place.  

“You don’t have to do all of this today, ya know. Let me help you.”  

I sighed, “Oh, don’t worry. You will be. He’s probably gonna need some more clothes…that might have to be your area. I’ve already got some carts going online for the rest of it.” 

Dieter moved to my side so he could look at me directly, one arm still around my back, “Hey, you’re doing great. The kid likes you, so you can relax.” 

I gave him a weak smile, “How do you know?” 

Dieter smirked, “He said you’re nice…and have pretty hair.”  

I snorted, “He didn’t say that.”  

Dieter nodded, “I swear he did…” He was quiet for a beat, his eyes roaming my face. “How are you feeling about things?” 

I inhaled deeply and held it for a moment, “I don’t know…definitely overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done.” 

His eyes narrowed, “You know that’s not what I’m asking.” 

He’s too damn intuitive, I was totally avoiding the real conversation. “I’m not sure, honestly.” 

“Baby, you need to be open with me. I know what you’re doing…don’t shut yourself off.” 

I puffed air out of my cheeks, “Ok, fine… I feel a little disconnected from it…like an outsider. It’s awkward because you already have a bond with him and I’m not really sure how to be part of that. I know he isn’t as comfortable around me either. I can sense it.” 

Dieter pulled me into a hug, “He’s a shy kid on the best day. After you spend a little time with him, he’ll open up. You’ve gotta open up some too though.” 

I nodded. I knew it was true, but also knowing that this was meant to be temporary was making it hard for me to do that. After seeing Luca and what his life must have been like made me realize I could actually get attached to this kid. Even though I had been worried about being able to bond with a child that wasn’t my own, I could feel my maternal instincts kicking in.  

Luca slept most of the day, which left us wondering what exactly he had been through that left him so tired. Dieter and I were in the midst of cooking dinner, trying to decide if we should wake him when he came shuffling down the hallway.  

“Hey hombrecito (little man), you ready to eat some dinner?” Dieter asked. 

Luca nodded as he rubbed at his eyes.  

“Let’s go wash up while Talia gets everything ready, ok?” 

Dieter put his hand on Luca’s shoulder and led him toward the bathroom to wash his hands. By the time they got back dinner was ready. Dieter helped Luca make a small plate while he made his own. Then we all sat down to eat. I noticed Luca didn’t get much food and finished eating quickly.  

“Luca, do you want any more? You didn’t eat much,” I said.  

He looked at me with wide eyes, “Is that allowed?”  

I could feel my heart shattering in my chest as Dieter and I shared a knowing look. It took everything in me to keep the tears at bay as I turned my attention back to the boy.  

“It’s absolutely allowed. You can have as much as you want.”  

His chocolate eyes lit up before murmuring out a quiet “thank you” as he stood from his seat to go refill his plate. Dieter reached over and gave my hand a squeeze before turning his attention to Luca, realizing the boy was too short to reach everything. He moved to help him. I took a moment to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I could already tell this whole experience was going to have a huge impact on me, emotionally.     

After dinner, we took the time to show Luca around the rest of the house and officially introduce him to Moony, our kangaroo eared dog, and our four foster pups. Dieter had recently converted one of the spare rooms downstairs into a “dog room” for the pups to hang out in while we were out of the house. It was the most ostentatious dog space I had ever seen. He had gone so far as to install a TV (on their level) and get a Dog TV subscription for them. They each had their own little dog houses and beds. He had even found a place to buy dog furniture. He finished it all off with wireless cameras that allowed him to talk to the dogs when he wasn’t in the room. It was beyond extra, but typical Dieter.  

Luca was in awe of the space and thought the mini dog couches were the funniest thing. He and Dieter went to sit on the floor in the middle of the room to get acquainted with everyone. The foster dogs were just happy to see people. Moony held back, slinking around the room sniffing in Luca’s direction. He was more cautious of the new person in his house, but he eventually approached the boy for pets. Within minutes, he was in Luca’s lap being cuddled, both of them smiling as they nuzzled against each other. I could already tell they were going to be fast friends.  

In the days that followed, Luca continued to remain quiet and reserved. However, I could tell he was beginning to relax as he got used to his surroundings and new routine. He was at his happiest when spending time with Dieter. Dieter had been spending all of his free time with the boy - painting, playing video games, playing with Moony. Anything he could think of doing that might distract Luca from the reality of his situation. I could often hear them laughing amongst themselves. It warmed my heart to see Dieter take on this new role and how he thrived in it.  

Dieter was so good with Luca, and I knew a lot of it had to do with their commonalities. Dieter had lost his mother under equally devastating circumstances, which helped him relate to Luca in a way that I would never be able to. It further solidified the bond they had already built before this life changing incident happened to Luca. It did make me worry about how things would go if Luca was unable to stay with us. I worried if Dieter could handle it.  

The conditions left me torn in how I wanted to handle things as well. I was still feeling like an outsider in this situation and unsure of how to navigate the changing dynamics in our household. I wanted to engage and be part of the bond they were building, but I also didn’t want to get too close in the event the situation was indeed temporary, as we were told it would be. I knew I would need to be strong for Dieter if Luca wasn’t able to stay with us. He said he could handle it but seeing them together didn’t give me a lot of confidence in his belief.  

As we got into the second week of having Luca with us, I noticed he seemed to be getting more curious about me. During the first instance, we were all sitting around the living room watching TV as I folded laundry. Luca was on the floor, playing with Moony. Once Moony ran out of energy and laid down for a nap, I realized Luca was watching me fold. After several minutes, he came closer, sitting in front of me.  

“Can I help?” he asked timidly.  

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. He was too adorable. I glanced toward Dieter, who was watching us with a smirk on his face.  

“Better watch it hombrecito (little man), she’s super picky about the folding.”  

Luca’s eyes widened, like he couldn’t believe Dieter said such a thing.  

I snorted, “Just because I don’t wad them up and stuff them in a random drawer doesn’t mean I’m picky.” I gave Luca a conspiratorial look, “He’s just messy. Don’t listen to him.”  

Luca laughed, “Yeah, he kinda is.”  

Dieter scoffed dramatically and I cackled. Luca’s comment had taken me off guard.  

“I see how it is, you two are ganging up on me now. I don’t like this,” Dieter said. 

Luca and I laughed, eventually settling down as I continued folding. Luca watched me fold a couple more items, then reached into the basket to grab a piece of clothing and got to work. He held it up to ask me if it was correct. He had folded it perfectly on the first try. Dieter and I both praised him, noting that he already folds better than Dieter, which led to more giggles from the boy as he worked on the next item. We worked in silence after that, listening to whatever TV show Dieter was watching. I noticed Dieter wasn’t paying much attention to the show though. Instead, he was watching Luca and I with a small smile on his lips. Once all of the laundry was folded, Luca offered to put his own clothes away himself. When he returned, he looked smug, seemingly proud of himself as he sat down next to Dieter on the couch. Dieter pulled the boy into his side and mussed his hair, thanking him for helping me.  

In the days that followed, Luca began checking in with me to see if he could help with anything. I started giving him small tasks like sweeping, vacuuming, helping carry the dishes to the kitchen, or pulling ingredients for meals. It was his way of trying to connect with me, and I accepted it. 

Toward the end of the second week, Dieter and I were lying in bed, barely awake after having spent the day clothes shopping with Luca. We were both absolutely spent from trying to get things sorted for Luca and caring for him throughout the week on top of dealing with home checks, interviews with CDSS, and getting our background checks completed. We had been so engrossed with taking care of the boy that we really hadn’t made any time for each other. Our only time together was at night, but we had been so tired since Luca came into our care that we hadn’t even taken advantage of it. On this night, we managed to get in some cuddle time before either of us fell asleep. After crawling into bed behind me and pulling me flush against his body, Dieter took the opportunity to check in with me to see how I was feeling about things.  

“It seems like Luca is warming up to you a bit…” 

I smiled, “Yeah, I think so too. His personality is starting to shine through a little more. I can tell he’s been spending too much time with you.”  

Dieter chuckled, “I’ve always wanted a miniature version of myself.”  

I snorted and nudged my shoulder backward against his, “You’re so ridiculous.”   

He laughed, but then it trailed off into a moment of silence before he spoke again. 

“Serious question…how are you feeling about things now? Better I hope?”  

I sighed. I was still holding back some, and I knew it. “I’m still a little apprehensive about things. I’m trying not to get attached to this kid. This was never meant to be permanent, remember?”  

Dieter went quiet for a beat, “That may be true, but that doesn’t mean we can’t care for him like he’s ours…show him what a healthy family dynamic is like. He’s never had that, and I know there’s a possibility that he may never get it again if he leaves us. I want him to have at least one positive experience to look back on, even if it does turn out to be a short one.” 

Dieter always had an interesting take on things like this. I knew it was rooted in his childhood experiences and everything he had gone through. I hadn’t thought about it like that and couldn’t disagree, “I hadn’t considered that view on things.” I finally admitted to him.  

I turned to face him, “You have such a good heart. I can’t disagree with that assessment and…I’ll try to do better by him.”  

Dieter leaned down and gently kissed me on the lips, before pulling back. “You have a good heart too, you just have to learn to open it up a little more.” 

I chuckled, “Yeah, I guess so.”  

His hand gently brushed my hair back, “Maybe you two should go do something fun on your own. I know he’s been wanting to go to the Aquarium.” 

My eyes widened, “Dieter, I dunno about that. It helps to have you as a buffer.”  

He snickered, “You’ll be fine. The kid likes you and I’m certain you won’t be able to get him to shut up if he’s looking at animals. He gets so excited; he can’t help but to ask a million questions. You should take him on Saturday. I’ve got some work stuff I need to take care of.” 

My brows furrowed, “Work stuff? What work stuff?”  

He was fighting a smile now, “I have some scripts I need to look over.” 

I pursed my lips, “For some reason, I don’t believe you.”  

He smiled against my lips, kissing me between words, “It’s late. Time for bed bella durmiente (sleeping beauty).”  

I scoffed as he snuggled in next to me, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Change the subject. I’m on to you.”  

He laughed against my shoulder, “I’d like you to be, but I’m too fucking tired to be able to do anything about it.”  

I snorted, “Again, you’re ridiculous. Good night.”  

After giving him a quick kiss on the forehead, we wrapped up in each other and fell asleep quickly. 

That Saturday, I took Luca to the Aquarium as Dieter suggested. There was a comfortable silence between us during the ride there, however his bright-eyed look told me he was excited. It didn’t take long once we were inside for him to start peppering me with questions as Dieter said he would. He was an inquisitive little thing that had a serious thirst for knowledge. He was enthusiastic but also very well behaved. He seemed mature for his age when compared to the other kids running amok around the facility. Realizing that made me appreciate him a little more.  

Luca took the time to sit and observe the animals, studying each of them carefully. Whereas, most of the other kids gave them a quick glance, then were ready to move on to the next thing. Something about his curiosity made my heart flutter. Was it pride? I realized it was something that he and I had in common. I made a mental note of that for future reference.  

It seemed like hardly any time had passed as we slowly moved between exhibits, chatting about the animals. As the morning went on, I could tell he was getting more comfortable with me. He had started to gently tug on my hand to get my attention or loop his arm around mine and lean into my side as he pointed things out.  

By the time we reached the halfway point where the little cafe was, it was well past lunch time. Luca reluctantly agreed to take a break so we could grab a bite to eat. As we waited in line, I asked him what he wanted. He gave me that same wide-eyed stare he gave Dieter at McDonalds the first day. I gave him a few options off the menu as I had watched Dieter do. We finally narrowed it down to loaded nachos and a chocolate chip cookie.  

Luca got quiet after we were seated to eat. He didn’t seem to have a problem with companionable silence. He was a lot like Dieter and me in that way. It never failed to astonish me how well this kid fit into our lives. It was like the ‘powers that be’ had taken a piece from each of us to make him and put him in our path. Luca drew me out of my thoughts with a question that stunned me.  

“Are you and Mr. Dieter gonna be my new parents?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. 

I nearly choked on the chip I had just stuck in my mouth. I wasn’t expecting this type of conversation today. I took a quick drink of my soda, “Did Dieter tell you that?” 

He shook his head, “No. I didn’t ask him because Mr. Dieter says you’re the boss.” 

I chuckled, “Well, at least he knows his place.” I took a deep breath, my brows furrowing as I thought through a response.  

“Is that something you would want to happen? For us to be your parents.”  

He nodded enthusiastically as he chomped down on a nacho.  

I gave him a sad smile, “You understand what that would mean right? That you would stay with us, forever.” 

He nodded again, “I like staying with you. You’re nice to me.”  

Of all the reasons he could have given, it was because we’re nice to him. My heart was breaking as I considered what those words meant. Was his mother not nice to him? I knew they were low income and struggled with basic needs, but this added a whole other layer to things.  

I could feel the tears beginning to pool in my eyes and I had to work to fight them back.  

I gave him another sad smile, “The decision isn’t up to us, bud…but I promise you…if it’s an option, we’ll do everything in our power to make it happen. If that’s what you truly want.”  

He was smiling now, “It is. I would like that.” 

My heart was about to beat out of my chest. I couldn't believe he had just asked me that. He obviously felt comfortable enough around me now to bring it up, which made me feel a whole other set of emotions. I was drawn from my thoughts by my buzzing phone in my pocket. It was from Dieter. 

Dieter: Hey! How’s it going? 

I smiled to myself. It was sweet that he was checking in. I glanced up at Luca who was leaning back in his seat, with his hand on his belly like he had eaten too much.  

“Dieter’s asking how it’s going. You wanna send him a picture?” 

Luca smiled and nodded before standing to walk over next to my seat. He leaned in against me and gave a toothy smile while I snapped a selfie of us. I showed him the picture and he gave a nod of approval as he moved back to his seat. With a smile, I sent it to Dieter. He started typing a response immediately. 

Dieter: Wow. Looks like some progress. You guys having fun?  

Me: Yeah, we are. Just finishing up with a late lunch. You were right, he has a lot of questions. 

Dieter: LOL! I’ll see you guys in a few hours then. I expect you still have a while. Let me know when you're heading this way and I’ll get dinner started. - te amo (love you) 

Me: Sounds like a plan. - te amo 

Luca and I went back to viewing the exhibits after that. He seemed to have a little more pep in his step during the second half of the day and he was still just as inquisitive about everything. After another hour and a half, we finally made it to the gift shop.  

“Go find yourself something to take home,” I said to him. His eyes widened at my words. He seemed very unsure of himself.  

“Like what?” he finally asked.  

“Whatever you wanna get.” He pursed his lips, still seeming unsure. “A toy maybe? I’m not sure what you like. You’re allowed to wander around and look if you want.”   

He shuffled down the nearest aisle, slowly scanning the shelves. He eventually ended up standing in front of a wall of books and began thumbing through them. He finally settled on an age-appropriate book on prehistoric fish. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that he chose a book, but I was. He walked over and shyly handed it to me.  

“Is this one, ok?” he asked quietly. 

I gave him a bright smile and nodded, “Of course! Do you like to read?”  

He shrugged, “I’m not that good yet, but I like books.” 

I ruffled his hair, “Don’t worry, we’ll have you reading everything in no time. Dieter and I love to read too.” 

He gave me a toothy grin as I leaned down to whisper to him conspiratorially, “Ya know, I don’t count books as a strike against your purchase limit. Go grab you something else.” 

His eyes widened, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing before he scurried off to find another item. I followed behind him, watching as he continued to take everything in and narrow down his choice. He finally settled on a stuffed otter. We had spent a lot of time watching them in their enclosure, so I wasn’t shocked. They seemed to be one of his favorites. We checked out after that, then made our way to the car.  

As I was sitting in traffic, I could see Luca in my rear view mirror, completely engrossed in his book with his otter hugged under one arm. His chubby little fingers were rubbing at its soft fuzzy fabric in between turning pages. Something about it was absolutely tugging at my heart. I wondered if he even had any books of his own before, or if perhaps he just borrowed them from school.  

“Luca, have you ever been to a bookstore?” I asked suddenly.  

His rounded chocolate eyes met mine in the mirror. His brows furrowed slightly, seeming confused by my question for a moment before answering, “No ma’am. I haven't.”  

A smile tugged at my lips, “Would you like to?”  

He nodded, fighting a smile, “That would be fun.”  

Minutes later, I turned into the local Barnes and Noble parking lot. I was suddenly feeling giddy to share this experience with him because I knew this would be a hobby we could bond over.  

When we entered the store, I grabbed a handheld basket. He gave me a questioning look, “Let’s fill this basket up, kid.”  

He snorted, following closely behind me until I found the correct aisle for him to browse. He seemed to have a thing about dinosaurs, gravitating toward those books first. After flipping through a couple, he eyed me cautiously as he slid one into the basket I was holding. I quirked an eyebrow at the one still in his hand, “You want that one too?”  

He chewed on his lip for a moment before slowly sliding that one into the basket. He looked like he was waiting for me to change my mind. Instead, I gave him a warm smile and encouraged him to keep looking. As we moved down the aisle, I pointed out some of my favorites like Narnia, Goosebumps, and Percy Jackson. He seemed a little intimidated by the chapter books at first, but after I promised that Dieter and I would read those with him it seemed to change his view on it a little and he happily added those to the basket as well. Luca and I got lost in the books together. Not realizing how much time had passed until I got another text from Dieter. 

Dieter: You two doing ok? Figured you’d be on your way back by now.  

Me: Yes! Sorry. We stopped off at the bookstore. About to check out.  

Dieter: K. I’ll get dinner started. See you soon. 😘 (kiss emoji)  

I sighed, “Looks like we’re being summoned for dinner. I think this is probably a good start. You ready to head home?”  

Luca gave me a wide smile and nodded. We made our way to the checkout counter, where I pointed out the bookmarks and told him to grab a couple for his chapter books. He quickly settled on two 3D hologram bookmarks, one with raccoons and the other with a shark. He slid them onto the counter as the cashier began to ring up our purchases. He stood beside me quietly, looking at all the little trinkets and magazines lining the bottom of the counter.  

I gave him a quick smile before glancing up at the cashier, who was watching us intently with a smile on her face.  

“Your son is sweet. He seems to really love books.”’ 

I shook my head slightly, unsure of how to respond to her comment, but also feeling a little choked up at the thought. My eyes darted to Luca who didn’t seem to have noticed the comment. I settled for a smile and nod, “Yeah, he really does.”  

We left the bookstore with several bags full. Both of us were laughing at the ridiculousness of it as we loaded them into the car. He was giggling as he got settled into his seat. It was the same giggle I often heard when he and Dieter were spending time together. It caused a bloom of feelings that I couldn’t describe. Feelings that made me warm and happy. Feelings that I didn’t want to let go.  

A short time later, we pulled into the garage. Luca helped me unload our spoils from the day and lug them into the house. Dieter was standing in front of the stove with a confused look on his face as he watched us carry the bags toward Luca’s room.  

When I returned to the kitchen, he switched off the stove eye and turned to me, “Sooo, what was all that?” 

I smiled, “Books. I need you to go buy a bookshelf for Luca tomorrow. Preferably a full sized one.”  

He chuckled, sliding his hands onto my hips as he leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the mouth, “Thank you for today. Thank you for trying. I know this isn’t easy on you.”  

I smiled against his lips, “Strangely enough, it’s not as hard as I thought it would be. Thank you for pushing me.” 

Luca came wandering into the kitchen, swinging his arms dramatically as he walked. He stopped in front of us, peering up at me with a shy smile, “Mrs. Talia, will you read with me after dinner?”  

I could feel Dieter smiling against my cheek as I turned to look at the boy, “Of course! We both will. How about you and Dieter go pick out a book while I finish up with dinner?”  

Luca smiled brightly, grabbing Dieter’s hand and tugging on it, “You heard her. Let’s go!” 

Dieter snorted, giving me one last quick kiss on the cheek before Luca pulled him down the hallway. I smiled to myself, suddenly feeling overly emotional. A few tears slipped out as I turned my back toward the direction they had gone. Things were going to be different after today. I knew that. I could already feel it. I didn’t want to give this kid up. I wanted him to be ours. Dieter hadn’t explicitly said that, but I could tell he felt the same way. If they did find family to take him in, letting him go was going to be hard on the both of us. I had been worried about Dieter being able to handle it, but now I questioned if I could.  

The following Monday, Luca was set to return to school. He seemed totally fine with it, but I was a bundle of nerves. I was worried it would be too much for him, too soon, even though he had been handling things without issue. When the alarm went off, Dieter moved to get out of bed, but I stopped him.  

“You sleep in, I’ll take him. I have a million questions about his paperwork. It’ll be easier if I handle it.”  

Dieter snuggled into my side, burying his face in my neck, “You sure? I can still go with you.”  

I turned to face him, scratching at his graying stubble and nuzzling against his nose, “It’s fine, you were up late with your scripts. Get some sleep. I’ll be back shortly.”  

I leaned in to give him a quick kiss, but he deepened it as his hand gripped my hip and pulled me tightly against the hardness in his boxer briefs.  

I smiled against his lips, “Mmmm, hold that thought until I get back.”  

He whined, giving me one last peck before pulling away, “Ok, fine. Hurry back to me, mi amor (my love).”  

His fingers trailed after me as I rolled out of bed, he had his infamous sad puppy look on his face before he buried himself under the blanket to fall back to sleep. I threw on my robe and wandered down the hallway to make sure Luca was awake. The sound of the shower coming from his bathroom told me he was. I headed back to the master suite to make myself presentable while Dieter snored away under his pile of blankets and pillows. Just as I opened the bedroom door to head toward the kitchen to make breakfast, Moony came bursting in. I had to move quickly to grab him before he jumped on the bed and woke Dieter. After shooing him into the hallway, I followed, closing the door behind me. Moony quickly disappeared into Luca’s room, leaving me in peace to make a quick breakfast.  

I was plating our scrambled egg and cheese sandwiches when Luca came skipping into the kitchen with Moony on his heels. He seemed excited to be going back to school, which surprised me. He was eager and ate quickly, occasionally sneaking small pieces of egg to Moony under the table. A habit he had obviously picked up from Dieter.  

Minutes later, we gathered our things, put Moony downstairs in the dog room with the rest of the crew, and headed toward the school. I didn’t really have questions about his paperwork. I might have over dramatized that some. I did, however, want to get as much information as I could about Luca. I knew I would have a ton of questions if given the chance to talk to someone.  

Luckily, Luca’s teacher, Miss Katie, was in the front office waiting for us to arrive. After introducing herself, she sent Luca ahead to class so we could chat.  

She gave me a warm smile as we watched Luca walk down the hallway toward his room, “I was delighted to hear that you and Dieter would be taking Luca in. He’s improved so much since he started spending time with Dieter in the mentoring program. I’m sure he’ll continue to do so now.”   

I shrugged, “Yeah, well, it may not be permanent. We’re still waiting to hear back about other family members.”  

She nodded solemnly, “I didn’t get the impression he had a lot of family.”  

My lips set into a tight line, “Can I ask you about his home life? I don’t know much about it.” 

She pursed her lips, “I mean, you’re his legal guardian now. So, I don’t see why not.”  

She paused briefly and sighed, “I don’t know much, but I don’t think it was good. They were low income…most weekends I sent food home with him to make sure he was covered. I’ve taken him to get a haircut a few times too. He often wore the same clothes several days in a row and came in dirty.”  

Her brows furrowed as she met my gaze, “It just seemed like his mom wasn’t very engaged with him. I always had a hard time getting her to respond, turn in paperwork, or come to meetings. When she did, she seemed distracted and honestly, sort of out of it. She would often leave him at school late. I’m not sure if it was because of work like she said or if she just forgot to get him. From what I’ve heard, she sort of went off the deep end after her husband died in that car accident. I don’t think she was very…present in his life if I’m being honest.” 

Hearing this made my heart ache. How had he turned out to be such a good kid through all that?  

Miss Katie was smiling now, “But like I said, the mentoring program did wonders for him. He really began to come out of his shell after starting that. I know Dieter spent extra time with him…to help with homework. I obviously couldn’t share any details with Dieter at the time, but based on his line of questioning, I think he knew Luca didn’t have a good home life. He always wanted to help with him any way he could.”   

I had to fight back tears. Dieter had been there for this kid more than I had realized. I should have been more involved early on, but it was his thing. I didn’t want to overstep. I never would have guessed this would be the result.  

“Well, while Luca is with us, we’ll definitely be involved with his academics. He’s a smart kid and has a serious thirst for knowledge. It’ll be a top priority. I also just wanna make sure he’s ok. He seems to be handling things too well. I’m not sure if he fully understands what’s happened.”  

She sucked in a deep breath, seeming to think through her response. “At his age, it’s hard to say. I think he probably has an understanding of what death is. What they usually don’t understand is the finality of it…that it’s forever…but, with his father having passed, he may understand it better than most kids his age.”  

I chewed on my lower lip and nodded in understanding, “Is it normal that he seems unbothered by it though? He hasn’t even really mentioned his mother at all…directly anyway.” 

She shrugged, “I’m not sure. Maybe he didn’t really have a strong bond with her. If that’s the case, then maybe not. You never know how trauma will affect a child. Has he seen a therapist or anything like that yet?”  

I shook my head, “Not yet. I’ve been in contact with someone we work closely with. She suggested we give him a little time to adjust before bringing him in…make sure he’s comfortable and feeling safe so that he’s more likely to trust the process and open up.”  

She gave me a warm smile, “Well, he couldn’t have been put with anyone better to help him through it. You guys are doing amazing work. I’m legitimately happy for him…and honestly, I hope he gets to stay with you.” 

I cleared my throat, fighting the tears that were threatening to fill my eyes, “Yeah, me too.” I huffed out a laugh, “Well, I’ll let you get back to work. Thank you for chatting with me.” I paused, digging in my bag, “I almost forgot, here’s his updated paperwork. Please call me if he needs anything…or if you do.”  

We said our goodbyes after that. As I got back into the car to head home, I couldn’t help wondering about Luca’s relationship with his mother. It made me sad for him, that he didn’t seem to have had a nurturing figure in his life. More than ever, I wanted to give that to him. I wanted him to have a normal, happy, and loving family. It wasn’t up to me though. I was powerless to make it happen. I had to rely on others to make the choice and I hated it.  

By the time I pulled into the garage, I was feeling needy. I needed to be loved and comforted by my husband. I wanted to feel connected to him. He was the only one that could settle the storm brewing in my thoughts. All of the ‘what ifs’ and possible outcomes were weighing heavily on my heart, causing my chest to feel tight. It was a level of anxiety that I hadn't experienced in some time.  

When I got inside, I went straight to the bedroom. I found Dieter sprawled out on his back in nothing but his black boxer briefs, the covers now shoved off to the side. He was snoring lightly, completely unaware that I had returned. After undressing down to my bra and panties, I crawled into the bed beside him, propping myself up on one elbow and draping my other arm and a leg across him. My hand roamed the width of his broad chest, stirring him from his slumber.  

His eyes blinked open slowly as he grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips.  

“Did you get everything figured out?” he asked with a gravelly tone.  

I nodded, not trusting my voice as I moved my hand to cup his cheek. His brows furrowed, his eyes now studying my face, “Everything ok?” 

My lips set into a tight line as I nodded again. I let out a stuttered breath, “I just…need you...I need you to calm my mind.”  

I didn’t have to say another word. Dieter knew what I needed. He knew how to get me out of my head before I spiraled to a place that wasn’t healthy for me to be. The connection that scared us so much in the beginning was now our refuge. It’s how we communicated and grounded each other when things got tough. We had perfected it into our own brand of therapy.  

He leaned forward, kissing me deeply. His hands roaming my body as he gently turned us so that I was on my back allowing him to settle between my thighs.  

His lips moved downward, his breath heating my neck as he spoke against it, “Concéntrate en mí, mi luz. Déjalo ir.” (Focus on me, my light. Let it go.)  

His fingertips trailed down between my breast, my stomach, then dipped under the black lace of my panties, finding their destination at the apex of my thighs and dipping into the slick. His motions elicited a soft moan from my lips, making me forget my worries for the time being. He had me coming undone in no time as his thumb worked the sensitive nub and his fingers curled inside of me, hitting the right spot that he knew so well. I arched up into him, grinding into his hand as he nuzzled his nose against mine, “That’s it baby. Take what you need from me.”  

His darkened eyes peered down into mine, watching the waves of pleasure wash over me as my jaw fell slack and I trembled beneath him. He kissed me sweetly, slowing his movements and allowing me to come down. As I worked to catch my breath, he sat back on his heels, sliding my panties down my legs as he scooted backwards off the bed. He stood to remove his boxer briefs before crawling back to the center of the bed, tucking his thighs underneath mine, then pulling me up to straddle his hips.  

We sat there for a moment, just looking at each other. My fingers combed through his messy curls as his hands explored my body, settling at the center of my back to unhook my bra. I quickly discarded it on the floor with the rest of our clothes. He hugged me tightly against his chest, our mouths now tasting each other as I moved against his hard length. His lips eventually moved downward as I rose up on my knees, sucking one nipple into his mouth with his hand massaging the other. I moaned into the top of his hair as I hugged him against me, feeling the heat of his mouth going straight to my core.  

His hand freed my breast, moving downward to encircle his hard length to notch the head at my entrance. Our gazes locked as I slowly sank down onto him. His jaw went slack once I began rocking my hips and peppering his face with kisses and whispers of “I love you”. He nuzzled his nose against mine, staring deeply into my eyes with an occasional sensual kiss thrown in. This was our therapy, reconnecting with one another in the most intimate way we knew how. Grounding ourselves and mentally resetting to take on our worries together.  

We went on like that for some time, our sweat covered bodies moving as one until we crashed over the edge together. I tightened around him as stars formed behind my eyelids. Dieter whimpered loudly into my mouth as he spilled into me for the first time in two weeks. It had been two weeks too long. We hadn’t gone that long without being intimate since before we were married, which only seemed to make things more intense than normal.  

We sat in silence, trying to catch our breath as we let physical touch do the talking for us. Our hands running through each other’s hair and sliding across damp skin. Dieter’s head lolled backwards, now looking at me with a dazed smile.  

“I missed you. Let’s not wait that long again. I don’t care if I’m half dead at bedtime, make me do it anyway.”  

I chuckled, “Noted. Hopefully it’ll slow down now that things are settled some.”  

He nodded before kissing me deeply, pulling away to rest his forehead against mine.  

“You wanna tell me what’s going on now? It’s talk time,” he said in a low voice. 

I smiled and leaned back slightly, scratching at his scalp as my eyes took in his beautiful face - his chocolate eyes with the newly formed wrinkles around them from his constant smiles, his curved nose that I loved nuzzling against mine, the grays in his scruffy beard that sent me into sensory overload when he rubbed them against my inner thighs. This was my medication. Him. He was the only thing I needed to be calm and talk through my feelings.  

I sighed, “I don’t wanna let him go, Dieter. I want him to be ours…and I’m not sure how I’ll handle any other outcome.”  

I felt his arms tighten around me, “I know, baby. Me too. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll get through it together. Just like we do everything else…” 

The tears were sliding down my cheeks now. His thumbs reached to wipe them away. I sniffled, “You know what he asked me the other day while we were at the aquarium?”  

He shook his head. I felt a smile tugging at my lips from the memory, “He asked if we’re gonna be his new parents. He said that’s what he wanted.” 

Dieter’s eyes pooled with tears, “He really said that?”  

I nodded, “He did. I told him that it’s not up to us, but if that’s what he wanted, we would try if given the option. I didn’t think you would object to that.”  

The tears were sliding down his cheeks now, but he was smiling. It was happy tears. He sighed, “I can’t help thinking that it’s all gonna work out. It’s just a feeling I have.” 

I reached up to wipe his tears away, “Do you ever wonder if all of this was meant to be? If our path was written in the stars from the beginning?” I inhaled a deep breath before continuing, “I mean…at what point does a series of coincidences become something more? We’re we destined to find each other and go through everything that we went through just so Luca could be in our lives? He probably wouldn’t be if things had happened differently. If we hadn't stayed in the same hotel in New York, or if you had lived just a few minutes farther away from me and I didn’t make it to you in time that night?” 

He huffed out a laugh, “I don’t know about any of that…but if our story is written for us…I wouldn’t change a thing because it brought us together. If that was the way it was meant to happen, then so be it…fuck free choice. I have to believe this is gonna go in our favor because everything else has, even if it was a hard path. It just feels right.” 

I gave him a sad smile, “I wish I could be as positive as you are about it, but I can’t get my hopes up. It’ll just crush me that much more if it doesn’t work out.”  

He kissed my forehead, “It’s ok, I have enough positivity about this for the both of us.” He pulled me tight against his chest, dipping his head to kiss my shoulder. “Can we stay like this until pickup time? I have two weeks to make up for.”  

I snorted out a laugh against his neck, “You’re so ridiculous.”  

He shrugged, “I’m sorry, my dick said he’s not done yet.”  

It was then that I realized he was already getting hard again, still nestled inside of me. I leaned back to look at him and was met with a mischievous smile.  

“Jesus Christ, Dieter! Already? Did you take Viagra or something?” I couldn’t hold back my laugh.  

He scoffed, looking offended at my suggestion. “I don’t need that shit. You know better. It's all me, baby. You do it to me.” He buried his face in my neck before inhaling deeply and groaning, “Fuck…you smell amazing. Why does that do things to me?”  

He fell over onto the bed, pulling me with him and setting off a fit of giggles which led into a rather playful round two.  

We did end up spending most of the morning in bed, eventually showering together, then having a late lunch. We both felt reinvigorated and ready to deal with whatever came our way. We needed that time together - time to regroup and share our emotions.  

I realized the disconnected feeling that I was having about the situation had now subsided. I was almost afraid to admit it, but as we picked Luca up from school that day, it felt like we were truly learning to be a family. It still scared me, but part of me also welcomed it. Luca was excited to see both of us there at pickup. The bright smile he gave us as he approached the car was completely worth it.  

We settled into a routine after that. Dieter and I would take turns dropping him off and picking him up from school. Sometimes we would both go when we could. Each night we would help him with his homework then spend some time reading before bed. I could see an improvement in his reading ability over the following weeks. His teacher was also reporting that he was having major improvements with his grades and seemed to be doing well emotionally. On the days he didn’t have a lot of homework, Dieter would teach him Spanish. He was picking it up quicker than me. It was clear, Luca was thriving in his new life. Dieter and I couldn’t have been prouder of him.  

When he wasn’t in school, he was with one of us - going to set with Dieter on his smaller jobs or hanging out with me in the office. He was forever inquisitive about everything happening around him, always full of questions on the drive home.  

Unfortunately, the more time Luca spent with us outside of the house, the more attention it brought from the paparazzi. We always avoided places where they lurked, but they were increasingly showing up in random locations. One late evening, they caught us leaving the office. Initially, they held back, filming from a distance. However, once I got Luca settled into the back seat, a couple of them appeared next to the car. They asked how I was doing. I played along and was polite at first, but then they asked about Luca. “Who is he? Why is he staying with you?” I shut them down, refusing to speak any further as I got into the driver's side to leave.  

A few days later, I was sitting on the couch, scrolling social media when I found some pictures of Dieter and Luca outside of a snow cone shop. The pictures linked to an online publication. Luca’s face was blurred out, but it was still rattling. The images showed Dieter and Luca laughing, Dieter with his arm around Luca’s shoulders as they waited in line, Dieter ruffling the boy's hair…just very mundane things that supported the most ridiculous article title: Does Dieter Bravo Have a Secret Love Child? 

I nearly choked on nothing as I read it. Scrolling further down into the article revealed more pictures of the both of us dropping Luca off at school and the three of us out and about in town. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. I tried not to pay it much attention until shared posts started showing up in my feed, and other articles citing that one as a source. It seemed to be getting out of hand in a matter of hours of the original article being published.  

I sighed, pulling myself up off the couch to go find Dieter. He and Luca were downstairs in the craft room, painting. The sliding glass doors were open, allowing the dogs to chase each other in and out of the house, causing absolute chaos. Yet, they were both engrossed in their painting, completely unaware of the madness. I sidled up to Dieter, rubbing at his shoulder to get his attention. Without stopping his paint strokes, he slid one arm around my waist and pulled me into his side, hugging me to him in silence.  

“Dieter, I need to show you something.”  

He nodded, still focused on his canvas. “OK, so show me.”  

I held my phone up in front of his face. His eyes widened as he took in the article title, the paint brush slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor, splattering blue paint everywhere.  

“What the fuck?!?! Seriously?!?!”  

Luca paused, now turning to look at us. “What’s wrong?” he asked with eyes as wide as Dieter’s. Dieter burst out laughing as he realized what they were insinuating. “The bullshit they come up with…that one takes the cake.”  

I huffed, “Aren’t you concerned that’s gonna cause a frenzy though? They’ve already started bugging us.”  

He sighed, “That’s a good point…I have an interview scheduled for Friday. Maybe I can address it then? Or Maybe Elaine can do a press release? I dunno… I’ll call her tonight.” 

Luca was still watching us, wide-eyed. Dieter smiled at him, “It’s nothing hombrecito. Just the paps posting crazy stories about us.”  

Luca rolled his eyes and turned back around to work on his painting of what I assumed was Moony.  

Dieter grabbed my ass and squeezed gently, “Don’t worry about it, mi estrella (my star). I’ll take care of it.”  

He planted a juicy kiss on my lips. As he pulled away, Moony grabbed the paint brush he had dropped and took off outside. We watched in horror as two of the foster pups proceeded to try and grab it from him, getting blue paint all over their faces in the process.  

I snorted, “You’re cleaning that mess up.”  

Luca laughed loudly as Dieter dropped his head and slumped his shoulders in defeat.  

True to his word, Dieter did take care of the rumors. He addressed it during his interview, which was meant to focus on one of his new film projects. I tuned in to watch, nervous over how it would go.  

The interviewer opened by addressing the gossip head on, asking if it was true that he had a secret love child. Dieter laughed at the ridiculousness of it before diving into his response.  

“The short answer is no, I do not. I believe I was pretty open about being snipped before Talia and I got married. So, I’m not really sure how anyone came to that particular conclusion.”  

Then the interviewer asked, “And the long answer?” 

His demeanor changed, a genuine smile spreading across his face now. “We do have a young gentleman staying with us right now. He’s a minor, so I’m not gonna share any details…but I can say that I worked with him through the mentoring program that our foundation funds through the local school system. He’s found himself in an unfortunate situation and needed a place to go. So, we’ve opened our home to him until things get figured out.”  

“So, it’s temporary then?”  

Dieter shrugged, “That’s what they’re telling us for now, but we’ll see.” 

The interviewer gave him a warm smile, “Well, I hope things turn out the way you want them to. Thanks for sharing that with us. I know it’s been a hot topic the last few days. Now, let’s move on to your next film…”  

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. That seemed like it went well. My phone buzzed. It was Elaine.  

Elaine: Don’t worry. He answered it perfectly. That should calm things down. It’ll probably even translate to more (positive) press for him too.  

Me: Thanks. That helps calm my nerves some.  

Elaine: I know. 😏 (smirk emoji) 

I chuckled. She knew me too well.  

Things did settle down with the paparazzi after that. Thankfully. However, there was still a black cloud hanging over us. We were waiting for the call that would change everything. It had been two months since Luca had first come to stay with us. I had only received the occasional text thus far to say there were no updates. However, on this day, my phone lit up with an incoming call from Amber. My heart immediately started hammering in my chest out of fear of what news she would bring. I hesitated, but finally answered.  

“Hey Talia, it’s Amber. I wanted to give you a call to share the latest. We got a lead on an aunt…his dad’s sister. We’re working to track her down. It’s the only thing we’ve got so far though. I’m not sure how promising it is.” 

My mouth had gone dry, I almost couldn’t speak, “That’s…great news.” It sounded forced and disingenuous.  

I wasn’t sure if Amber picked up on it or not. If she did, she didn’t let on, “How’s he doing? Things still going well? We’re getting good reports from the school.”  

I cleared my throat, “Yeah, he’s doing great. He seems like he’s adjusted well.”  

“That’s good. You guys are doing a good job with him. Keep up the work. I’ll give you a call when I hear something new. Talk to you soon.” 

I had to force a “goodbye” out as I disconnected the call. This wasn’t the news that I wanted, and I dreaded sharing it with Dieter.  

Dieter took the news about like I thought he would. His optimistic attitude was beginning to wane. Having the uncertainty of everything hanging over our heads made it hard to enjoy our time together as a family. Every time my cell phone rang, it took us out of the moment and raised our anxiety to max levels. We hadn’t told Luca about the latest development, deciding that we wanted him to enjoy his time with us with as little worry as possible. He deserved that much.  

About three and a half months into Luca’s time with us, we were all in the dining room. I was cleaning up after dinner while Dieter helped Luca with his math homework, or rather, Luca was teaching Dieter how to do his math homework because Dieter wasn’t following. We were laughing at Dieter’s tirade about how ridiculous math is when my phone rang.  

I saw Amber’s name flash across my phone. My expression must have given it away because Dieter’s words trailed off as he gave me a worried look. I gave him a tight smile before stepping outside onto the deck to take the call.  

“Hey Amber, how are you?” I asked, trying to sound chipper and happy to talk to her.  

“Hey Talia! I’m good. How is everyone on your end?” 

I nodded as I responded, “G-Good. We’re all good here…” It didn’t sound very convincing.  

I could hear the smile in her voice, “That's great to hear. So, I’ll get to the point…After checking everything out, it looks like it’s all hinging on the aunt. There are no surviving grandparents and there doesn’t appear to be any other close relatives. We’re still trying to locate the aunt, but I’m gonna be honest…based on some of the feedback we’ve gotten, she may not be fit to take him even if she wants to. If that’s the case, then the next step is Luca becoming available for adoption.”  

I was quiet for a moment, processing her words. I was feeling both excitement and fear with this news. There was still a chance that someone else could get him, but we were one step closer. Amber interrupted my thoughts, “Is that something you think you guys might be interested in at this point? Adopting him? You get first dibs since he’s already with you.” 

I inhaled deeply, “Ummm…” Dieter caught my eye through the window. He was still sitting with Luca at the table, but watching me intently, looking for any sign as to what was happening with our conversation. “Yes, we want to. More than anything…but…I do have some concerns.”  

Amber was quiet for a moment, “Such as?” 

I let out a stuttered breath, “Will our mental health history be an issue? I don’t want to start this if there’s no chance…” 

Amber cut me off, “No, no. Absolutely not. You guys have been good for a while now. You’re both doing great, and you make a point to take care of yourselves in that regard…and it gives you a hand up in dealing with Luca’s trauma too. As long as your doctor supports and signs off on it, it’s a non-issue.”  

I sighed in relief. This was something that had been at the back of my mind that I was afraid to acknowledge, but it seemed like it was reaching the point where I needed to.  

“That’s good to hear. That gives me some hope then…but I don’t wanna get my hopes up either.”  

“I understand that. It’s not an easy situation. Being a foster parent is hard. It takes a strong person to let these kids in, knowing they may ultimately have to let them go and never see them again.” 

I huffed out a laugh, “Yeah, I don’t think I can do this again. As much as I want to, I can’t.”  

“I can’t say I’m surprised by that. I’m happy you tried it though. At least you know what it’s about.”  

“Yeah…me too…” 

We ended the call after that. I was rubbing at my forehead as Dieter walked out onto the deck, silently closing the door behind him.  

“What did she say?” he asked. The look on his face could only be described as a mixture of fear and anguish.  

“They’re still looking for the aunt…but it’s down to her. There are no other options. If she can’t or doesn’t want to take him, then he’ll be available for adoption.”  

You could see the tension leave Dieter’s body as he closed the space between us and pulled me into a tight hug. 

“That’s good news then. We’re one step closer. It’s better than the alternative.” 

I sighed, “Yeah, I guess. You know…I feel kind of shity hoping that no one wants this kid. It’s sad for him. I don’t want him to feel unwanted and like he doesn’t have a family, yet that’s exactly what I’m wishing for. I feel selfish.”  

Dieter pushed some stray hairs back off my face, “That’s not true, mi vida (my life). He’s wanted and he does have a family…doesn’t matter if it’s not by blood. We wanna give him a life and we will…a fulfilling and happy one. That’ll be enough for him. So, wish away. It’s not selfish if we have good intentions.”  

I nodded, fighting back tears. He always knew the right thing to say to calm me.  

We decided to wait until we had more concrete news before we told Luca anything. I knew he had to be curious. He never asked though. We continued through our daily routine, living as a family and falling completely in love with the kid more and more with each passing day. He fit into our life so perfectly and was literally becoming a mini version of Dieter. Seeing them together made my heart feel complete, filling in that last little puzzle piece that I hadn’t even realized was missing.  

Seeing the fatherly side of Dieter was causing me to fall for him even more, which I didn’t realize was possible. The man had so much love to give now that he had opened himself up to it and he had no limits. I loved every version of him, but this one…it was something else.  

About a month later, I was in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast. Dieter had left to drop Luca off at school. I had just watched one of the foster dogs overturn a large bowl of water as they all caused chaos throughout the house, when my phone rang. It was Amber. I felt my stomach drop. I knew this call was going to change everything. It was the call we had been anxiously awaiting while simultaneously hoping it never came.  

As soon as Amber greeted me, I was trying to read her voice. She was giving me nothing as she got into her usual small talk. I finally had to cut her off.  

“Amber, I don’t mean to be rude, but can we cut to the chase? What’s going on?” 

She chuckled, “It’s not rude. I know you guys have been waiting for a while to see how this is gonna go.”  

I laughed nervously, “Yeah, we have.” 

I could hear her take a deep breath before she continued. It immediately set me on edge.  

“Well…depending on how you look at it, I have some good news.” 

That didn’t really tell me anything. In fact, it made me more nervous. “Ok, and that news is…?” 

She was smiling now, “So, we finally got in contact with the aunt. She’s not interested or even able to care for him. Which means you guys can start the process for adoption if you still want that.”  

I couldn’t hold back my tears. It took everything in me to keep from sobbing into the phone. “Yes. Yes, of course we do. I mean, I wanna talk to Luca about it first, but yes…we do.”  

“I thought you might say that. I’ll send the paperwork over this afternoon. I’m here to help you through the process, so let me know if you need anything.”  

I thanked her before disconnecting the call. I stood there in the middle of the kitchen, unable to move in disbelief. The sobs bubbled up from my chest, no longer able to contain them. I was feeling every emotion - excitement, happiness, relief. It was almost too much. Dieter came in from the garage just as I was allowing the emotions to overtake me. He immediately rushed over to me, engulfing me in his arms and pulling me tightly against his chest as he begged me to tell him what was going on. It took me a minute to finally compose myself enough to talk.  

I sniffled, “Amber just called…” 

He pulled back just enough to meet my gaze, looking like he was about to break as his eyes filled with tears.  

I shook my head, still sniffling, “N-No, it’s good news. The aunt…she didn’t want him. Amber’s sending the adoption paperwork over today.”  

I watched his features shift from distraught to excitement as a brilliant toothy smile spread across his face. His eyes flooded with happy tears as sobs rippled through his body. He pulled me back into a tight embrace mumbling sweet words into my neck. We were elated as realization set in that we were finally going to have a son.  

Dieter and I went to pick Luca up from school together that afternoon. We had decided that we would tell him the news at dinner and ask him how he felt about it. So, when Luca asked from the back seat why we were so smiley, it took everything in us not to say anything just yet. Dieter chuckled, changing the subject without answering him. Instead, he asked Luca what he wanted for dinner.  

He put his finger to his chin, like he was deep in thought, “Hmmm…how about…pizza!”  

Dieter and I laughed at his enthusiasm and agreed that it felt like a pizza night. To Luca’s delight, we stopped to pick up two pizzas on the way home. As we walked inside, I watched Luca go to his room to put his things away. A few minutes later he returned and without a word began preparing the dog's dinner while Dieter assisted. They disappeared downstairs to feed everyone while I pulled out cups and plates for us to eat once they were finished. The way we had settled into our life still amazed me most days and it was hitting me all over again that this would soon be permanent.  

Just as we were finishing up dinner, Dieter was the one to bring up the news. I watched as his fingers began to absentmindedly trace the groove in his glass of water. He was nervous. I reached over and took his other hand in mine, giving it a squeeze.  

“So…Luca, we got some news today that we wanna talk to you about.”  

Luca looked between us, his brown eyes wide and hopeful. Something told me he knew what it was about. He gently pushed his plate away and leaned forward on the table, waiting for Dieter to continue. 

“It looks like we’re gonna be given the opportunity to apply for adoption so that you can stay with us…but we wanna make sure you’re ok with that first.”  

Luca’s brows furrowed, “Does that mean you can be my parents for real?” 

Dieter shot a nervous glance in my direction before looking back at the boy, “Yeah, that means we can be your parents for real. You would be stuck with us, forever.” 

Luca’s eyes filled with tears, “Really? I can stay here?”  

Dieter and I both nodded. Luca launched out of his seat to run around the table and hug us.  

“We still have to go through the process, and it has to be approved by the court, but we’re gonna do everything we can to make it official.” I added. I wanted to make it clear that we still had a process to get through. It didn’t matter though, the prospect of it was enough. We were all a crying mess before it was all said and done. Excited about the news and possibilities.  

Dieter and I worked to get the paperwork started and submitted within days of receiving it. It was a long and arduous process, but we managed it. After eleven months of jumping through all the hoops of paperwork, home visits, check ins, and interviews, we finally got our adoption hearing with the court. The entire family joined us as did many of our close friends. Several representatives from the school and CDSS were in attendance as well to show their support in addition to the numerous letters of support that had been submitted to the court on our behalf. With no dissent or challenges to the adoption, the judge had no issues with approving it. The judge praised us for the work we were doing with Luca and with the community. Everyone broke out into cheers as Dieter pulled Luca and I into his chest for a group hug. We couldn’t have been happier with the outcome.  

As we exited the courthouse, we thanked everyone who came to support us. Luca had a smile on his face through it all, holding on to mine and Dieter’s hands as we walked through the building. It was an emotionally exhausting morning for us, but we were in high spirits as we reached the car, discussing where to go for a celebratory lunch.

Dieter dropped Luca’s hand to reach for the back door to open for him, but Luca, who was still holding my hand tightly in his other one, grabbed Dieter’s wrist, stopping him from opening the door. We both paused, giving him a questioning look. 

“Does this mean I can call you mom and dad now?” he asked in a shy voice as he looked between the two of us.  

Dieter and I glanced at each other, both of us clearly getting emotional all over again as tears pooled in our eyes before kneeling down to Luca and pulling him into a hug. We sat there in silence for a brief time, all of us sniffling like fools.  

“You can call us whatever you want, hombrecito (little man),” Dieter finally said.  

“Within reason,” I added with a chuckle.  

Dieter and Luca snorted as I mussed the boy’s hair. Luca leaned over to Dieter conspiratorially, “I guess mujer mandona (bossy woman) is out of the question then?”  

Dieter’s tea kettle laugh sounded across the parking lot as he shook his head from side to side. I stared at the two of them trying to figure out what was so damn funny.  

Dieter finally sputtered out between chuckles, “I would probably avoid that one, bud.” 

I huffed, looking at Luca, “What did you say?” The only response he gave was to shake his head, still smiling. I looked toward Dieter, “What did he say? Dieter?”   

Dieter laughed harder, refusing to answer me as he continued to shake his head and hold his stomach with his hand.  

“Ok, I see how it is you two...You're on dinner duty tonight for that.” I said as I got into the passenger seat of the car, smiling and shaking my head at them.  

Dieter opened the back door, allowing Luca to plop down before he got into the driver's seat. They were both still chuckling as I gave them some serious side eye. Dieter suddenly gasped loudly, “I have an idea! Let’s head off the gossip columns and make it Instagram official.”  

I arched an eyebrow in his direction, then looked at Luca. He smiled and shrugged, “Sure.” 

Dieter pulled out his phone as Luca scooted forward to lean between the front seats. Dieter squished his cheek against Luca’s and held his arm out to take a picture, but paused, then turned to look at me.  

“Come on mama, you’re gonna be in it too,” he said with a smirk. Luca was smiling at me now too.  

His words and their smiles made my heart flutter in my chest, causing me to feel almost giddy. How could I say no to that? I leaned forward and squished my cheek against Luca’s while Dieter did the same to the other side. All of us gave the camera cheesy smiles as he snapped a few pics. We examined the images and picked the best one, all giving our approval before Dieter went to work.  

Once Dieter made the post, he shoved his phone away and gave me a lopsided grin. I narrowed my eyes at him as I unlocked my phone to check Instagram.  

The post was already racking up likes and comments. It was a cute picture, with an even cuter caption: “Our family just got bigger. It’s Luca Bravo’s gotcha day! Your mama and papa love you, hombrecito!”  

For the first time in months, I felt light and unencumbered. We were finally a family without worry and full of love and happiness. What more could we possibly ask for?  

Dieter’s hand moved to my thigh, squeezing gently as he pulled out onto the main road to be immediately stopped by a red light. He glanced over at me with a mischievous grin.  

“What are you smiling about?” I asked. 

He fought to keep a straight face as he glanced at me for a second time, “Me and Luca want a baby goat.”  

Well…there’s that.  

A/N: Everyone, give a big cheer for Dieter and Talia's one year anniversary! I can't believe it's been a year since I introduced these two to the world. Thank you for all the love and support you have given to them (and me) through it all. I'm sure we will see more of these two at some point. We need to know how Dieter finally ended up with that baby goat that he wanted so badly...

Now that we have learned the details about how Luca came to be in their care and Dieter and Talia's journey to expand their family, does that change your view on the events that come later in the Epilogue? They really have been put through it.

And we got more Daddy Dieter goodness, that's always fun. Doesn't he just make you melt? I think how he handled everything in this oneshot shows just how much he has grown...and how much Talia has too.

I'll stop rambling now. Sound off about your thoughts with a comment or reblog. You know I love to hear them!

Want more Dieter & Talia? Check out their story at the links below:

✨Destiny & Deliverance is where it all started.

✨The Light in the Darkness tells us the story from Dieter's POV. (New chapters coming soon.)

If you would like to be added to the Destiny & Deliverance Universe tag list, let me know in the comments or shoot me a DM.

Divider Credits: Reblog/MDNI: @cafekitsune Stars: @saradika

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[lacedinweb22]

Vampire Next Door ♱✮♱ Miguel O'Hara x reader

Ch 6: Noise Complaints *ੈ‧₊ prev part

Your neighbor is strange, to say the least. Miguel O’Hara: Alchemax’s newest scientist, genius, most sought-after bachelor … and according to your wildest suspicions … a vampire?

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

The second night is a bit more rough. Your parents scold you on the phone for moving all that furniture by yourself and for skipping dinner, you have writer’s block from the stress, and you can’t stop thinking about the blood on the fire escape, and … your dream. 

You’ve finally moved half of your things into your bedroom, so you lay in bed and celebrate by watching your comfort movie and eating a mug cake, made with the little ingredients you have in your pantry.

The rain isn’t beating as hard tonight; the wind is gentle and the autumn leaves sway gently outside of your apartment.

Thump. 

You freeze. It came from the bathroom. You slowly get up, ready to be nosy and listen in on whatever is happening at Miguel’s place. 

You put your ear to the wall. 

Thump! 

It startles you; you back away. Then you hear groans, and moans, and whines. It sounds like … Miguel? 

The noise continues: groaning, thumping, whining. 

Is he … It sounds like sex. You get butterflies just thinking about it. The Miguel you’ve made up in your head, your hallway crush, having sex.

If you weren’t so tense, starved, depressed, and completely sucked out of your quiet bubble by his racket, you would find it kind of … hot? Shamefully so. You’d have the patience, the nerve, to sit on the cold, tile floor and listen in.

But it’s annoying, and you’ll have trouble sleeping as is.  

It also makes you jealous. You know who he is, you know people want him, it’s inevitable, you’re not oblivious. This is just going to be something you’ll have to deal with, your attractive neighbor going in and out of his apartment with new hot people and rubbing it in your face. 

You sink onto the cold floor, stare at the tiles, and you let yourself feel it, let yourself admit,

it hurts a bit.

You stop yourself from marching right over there and scolding him and promise yourself that you’ll only go over if it continues for another ten minutes.

 The thumps and grunts cut in and out for a few more minutes.

You sit back in bed, hearing the muffled voices, wincing with jealousy.

Your cheeks burn pink. You wait, slowly taking bites of your cake, sitting in the noise of the rustling trees and your neighbor’s sex.

It passes the ten minute mark. 

You blame yourself for not setting boundaries sooner with your roommate, I mean look where that got you. Kindness taken for weakness. Six year friendship down the drain.

You’ve got to set some boundaries.  

So you fix yourself up, mentally prepare, and march over to tell your horny neighbor that he and his friend have got to lower their shit.

You take a deep breath in and knock. 

You practice in your mind, “Miguel, it’s four in the goddamn morning!” No, maybe “Miguel, can you lower the fucking down to a 3?” or “Miguel, I think my invite to the threesome got lost in the mail!” 

You hear shuffling, then finally, a flushed Miguel opens the door up a crack. His eyebrows are furrowed, his eyes explore your body in a panic, searching you.

“Miguel, do you think you could lower the fucking down a bit? It’s four in the goddamn morning! Yeah, some of us like to spend our time at night sleeping,” you scold, impressively staying in character. 

He’s catching his breath, and trying to hide it. He’s got a jacket pulled over, which you know he’s just using to cover up the sweaty mess underneath. His cheeks are pink, he’s got a bruise on his jaw. The red in his eyes looks brighter than it did earlier. 

You can’t see much besides that. From the little that you can see, his apartment is dark. Cold air escapes his place and greets your face. 

He looks angry, and it throws you off. 

“Y/N, I’m in the middle of something. I thought you had some sort of emergency. Go to fucking bed,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, middle of who is the real question,” you mutter, leaning to your side to sneak a peek inside his apartment. He’s far too tall for you to look over his shoulder, and his build blocks any chance of you seeing what’s happening behind him. You catch a glimpse of the kitchen floor. There’s porcelain shattered across the floor. It’s all you can see.

“What the fuck are you doing in there?” you ask, slowly. 

He closes the door up a bit more, and runs a hand through his hair. 

“I–”

“What happened to your friend’s dog?” 

“Oh my god. I'll be quiet, okay? Talk tomorrow morning. This conversation is over.” 

He slams the door. 

“Fuck you too then,” you mutter, hitting the door.

Your stomach disobeys you, excitedly jumping at the thought of the talk that he’s scheduled for “tomorrow morning.”

You walk back inside of your apartment, then look into the peep hole at Miguel’s door. 

You need sleep. 

* * * * 

You’re too depressed to eat. Your stomach growls, but your chest hurts. Your mug sits on your side table, as you lay on your side staring at it, thinking of the past. 

Then the noise starts again. 

This time, it’s more than thumps. You hear meddling in drawers, and the slamming of cabinets.

You wait for it to stop. 

It doesn’t.

You sigh then get up to go scold your neighbor once again.

“What do you want?”

“You’re loud, Miguel. I’m trying to sleep,”

“And I’m trying to … box. Practice boxing,” 

“At four in the morning? Please,”

“I’m boxing!” he reasons, a whine in his voice, immature and defensive. 

“But your bathroom is against my bathroom. Are you boxing in the shower?”

He drags his hand down his face.

“Okay, Y/N, I’ll lower it down. Jesus. You’re fucking needy.”

“Needy?”

He crosses his arms, and tilts his head, looking down at you. He does that a lot. 

He smirks, “I’ve dealt with you five times already, Y/N, and you’ve only been here two days.”

You do the math. 

“I’ve only seen you four.” 

His eyebrows knit together, he looks to the side, at nothing, then looks back at you, concern suddenly wiped from his face. 

“Four, huh? Miscounted,” he shrugs.

Miscounted? Alchemax’s newest and brightest? Millionaire genius? 

But he doesn’t know you know that. So you roll your eyes and brush it off. 

“Well, keep it down, I’m–”

“Let’s go out, let’s uhh get something to eat,” he suggests, eyebrows furrowed. He nods to himself, turning away. He looks in pain. 

His voice trails away into his apartment.

“Come in … just swept, I know it’s a mess.” he shouts from what you assume is his bedroom.

You stand silently in the hallway, staring at the half-open door, then slowly take a few steps across the hall and into his apartment. 

The kitchen is dimly lit by the warm stovelight. You look at the broom standing against the counter, the gadgets spread across the kitchen counter, the punching bag hanging from the living room ceiling, the motorcycle helmet hanging from the coat rack. 

His voice approaches, “Yeah, let’s uhh go out. I gotta … gotta get out of here,”

He comes back, wincing as he pulls on a t-shirt, and comes through his doorway. You watch silently. 

You watch as he squeezes his biceps through the sleeves, then look down at his exposed happy trail leading down his lower stomach. You shift your eyes back up at his.

“Eat? Right now?” 

He finally has it on properly, his eyes lock onto yours.

“Yes, eat. Right now,” he confirms with a firm nod, bouncing his keys in his hand. He runs a stressed hand through his waves. He turns away, moving to the kitchen counter.

“When was the last time you ate?” he interrogates, never looking up. He slides gadgets into a drawer, his forearm swiping the counter clear of notes and scraps of metal.

Is your stomach rumbling that loud? 

You hesitate. You’re in your pajamas. You’re tired. But … it’s Miguel.

The boy– the man of your dreams. Seventeen year old you’s crush. Your crush.

And now he’s your neighbor, who is obviously trying to be social, be your friend. 

“Yes. I could eat.”

He nods, his hands now resting on his hips. He’s gathered himself. 

“I gotta change though,” you mutter, looking down at your pajamas. 

“I like your pajamas, just, you can stay in the car. I’ll run down and get it. 

You nod. 

“But it’s cold. Take my jacket.”

He grabs his moto jacket from the coat rack.

It’s the jacket he wore in college. The jacket he wore in your daydreams. The jacket. You’d recognize it anywhere.

You look up at him as he reaches his arms over you. 

 He sits it on your shoulders. It’s oversized, heavy, and it smells like him.

Your stomach jumps. 

You exit his apartment.

You lock your apartment door, as he locks his apartment door behind you. 

He stands behind you now, towering over you, watching you triple-check that your door knob won’t turn. 

“It’s locked,” he mutters behind you. 

“I know, I– I know,” you say, releasing the door knob and turning to meet his gaze looking down at you.

You lock eyes for a second, before the intimidation sinks in, forcing you to break away and start walking towards the elevator. 

* * * *

“There’s no way anything is open right now.”

“Try me. What do you feel like eating?” he asks, his eyes glued on the road.

It starts to sprinkle, then progressively picks up. The windshield wipers rush to clean up the blurry mess.

“You pick.”

“No, no, Y/N. I’m driving you. You’re the guest. You pick,” he demands, his face stern. 

“Okay, damn. Pizza. Detroit-style. You pick the place. I’m sure you’ve got one you’d recommend.”

“I do.” 

“And it’s open?” 

“I know a guy. He’s up early prepping. He owes me,” he shrugs.

You try to suppress your smile, turning to watch Miguel drive. His hand is on the bottom of the wheel, his toned forearms right there begging to be taken in by your eyes. He’s got them wrapped up.

He turns to look at you. 

“Stop staring … It’s rude.”

“Why do you have–”

“Why did you move apartments? What happened?” he asks, crashing your train of thought.

You haven’t talked about it in weeks. You haven’t thought about it in hours. You haven’t allowed yourself to mourn the loss of your friendship; just like that, high school memories, university memories, the old apartment, drunken nights in that room, memories of her flash through your mind.  

You’ll keep it simple.

“My roommate and I … we got tired of each other.”

“Tired?”

“Yes. Tired.”

“Huh. Adds up. She couldn’t handle how bothersome you are, hm? Thank god I’m far across the hall,” he scoffs. He turns to you. You’re not entertained. 

You turn towards the window. It is cold. You sink deeper into his jacket.

“Her loss. Who could get tired of you? I haven’t gotten tired of you. Not yet.”

He nudges you. 

“Pizza. Soon.” 

You don’t turn to face him. You just nod, “Yeah, yeah.” 

You arrive at the red brick building, stuffed in between old apartments. It looks old, trustworthy. 

“Give me ten,”

“Ten? But–”

“Lock the doors,” he instructs, grabbing his wallet, and turning the heater on. He slams the car door.

You sit and wait.

He walks out in five, with three boxes of pizza, and one circular foil tray of what looks like lasagna on top of it all.

“Jesus, there’s two of us, Mig. I’m not that hungry.”

“I wanted you to try the best things from the menu. Geez. You’ll have leftovers to bring home. Don’t stress.”

“How did you get that so fast? I mean I’m not complaining but…”

“I know a guy,” he shrugs.

You’ve forgotten that this is the Miguel O’Hara.

The connections must be infinite.

“Uh huh, okay,” you mutter, taking the boxes out of his hand and onto your lap.

“No, it’s hot– just put it on the backseat. You’re going to burn yourself,” he scolds. Before giving you the chance to comply, he grabs the boxes out of your hands. He leans over towards you, his biceps in your face as you turn to watch him place them down carefully in the back seats.

He puts his seatbelt on, then puts his hand on the back of your seat, looking through the rear window as he backs up slowly. His eyes catch yours. You turn away.

****

“One of the umm… one of the neighbors is throwing a Halloween party,” he cuts into the silence. 

“A party? I haven’t run into any of them yet, so I wouldn’t know,” you shrug, biting into your slice of pizza.

You sit together on the roof of the apartment building. Miguel has a key, says he knows a guy.

“It’s at Alicia’s place; she’s on our floor. We have an apartment floor email list. I’ll add you,” he assures, poking at the lasagna.

You nod, chewing and staring out at the skyline.

“Would you want to go? With me? To the party?” he asks, looking down at the pizza slice he’s just picked up.

“I don’t know if I have the energy to socialize or be… fun. I know how insufferable that sounds.”

“You don’t want to meet the neighbors? I get it if you don’t think you have the energy but… it might be fun. I never go to their parties, but it seemed like something you might want to go to.”

“I don’t want to meet any more people. I don’t want to make friends–” You stop abruptly, realizing how sad you sound, realizing how absolutely miserable you sound. You don’t recognize your voice, your words, yourself. You don’t like it; you want to go back to being friendly and hopeful, but that’s not who you are right now. 

“Y/N,”

You feel the word vomit. You couldn’t imagine ever being this negative and emotional towards someone you’ve just met, especially not Miguel. You wouldn’t let anyone see you like this, maybe her, maybe your sister, but not anyone else.

Maybe it’s because you haven’t had a real conversation with anyone in weeks. Maybe it’s because you’re vulnerable. Maybe it’s because you hardly know him, and it’s unlikely he’ll betray you with the little information he has on you. But for whatever reason, you trust him… and you word vomit on him. 

“I’ve been so miserable and… bitter lately. I guess I don’t see a point in trusting anyone or relying on anyone anymore. They always always let me down. It’s like everyone in my life was taking turns stabbing me in the back, and now I’m completely alone and completely broken. I am the only one I can rely on,” your voice cracks, but you keep going.

“And okay I do have people, but they’re all far… and they’re all telling me I can’t be negative and I have to keep loving and trying to make friends but I don’t want new people to pass the knife to. Is that so terrible? Does that really make me that fucking negative and self-pitying? And okay, maybe I am, but I don’t care anymore. If this is what I have to do to protect myself, then that’s what I’ll do… even if it means I’m miserable.”

You exhale, brushing your fingers through your hair. 

“To answer your question, no, I don’t want to go to the party.” 

You realize you’re crying. You knew you were in pain, but you didn’t think it would force its way out like this. 

“Y/N,”

You keep crying, hunched over, your face buried in your forearms as you keep your knees to your chest. 

You feel his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry you’ve been let down, but you can’t swear off giving love just because it was taken for weakness.”

He sighs. 

“I know you don’t want to be happy right now, and you don’t have to be. You can be miserable and bitter for as long as you need, but deep down there’s a Y/N in there who is still hopeful and… full of love. She needs time to heal and feel that it’s safe to come out again; we have all the time in the world.”

You sniffle, then look up at him. He’s looking down at his knuckles, then he turns, looking down at you. He softly smiles, worry still painted on his face. 

“You’re wise,” you breathe out. 

“So this is why the loner won’t stop bothering me? You needed a friend to make as miserable as you?”

“Yeah, you already seemed depressed so halfway there. Plus you live the closest to me, most convenient.”

“You’re doing a great job so far,” he nods, biting into his pizza.

“Yeah, I’m really working on it.” 

You turn, admiring the remnants of his smile. 

The sky is clear now, the rain has stopped. 

You feel calm, at peace, and… happy for what feels like the first time in a long time.

“Thank you for the pizza… and for pulling me out of my apartment. I really really needed this. You know, I’ve always thought I needed complete control and order in my life, I mean spontaneity and spur-of-the-moment type things scared me, but… I think sometimes… it’s what I need. Less thinking, and postponing, and just acting on urges, you know? On my happiness. I haven’t felt something in so long… I know this was a lot. Sorry to dump,” you shake your head, looking down, laughing at how much you’ve given up to him.

You lean into your hands, your elbows resting on your thighs. You feel his eyes on you. You turn, looking up at him, his face turned towards you. He swallows, then turns back, looking straight at the skyline again. His jaw clenches.

“Don’t be sorry. You said things that I’m too stubborn to admit. And yeah I’m a control freak too, but uh I think I’m realizing I can’t control everything and everyone in my life, so I might as well lose some control here and there, let myself be pulled out of my comfort zone.”

“I love my comfort zone,” you laugh, pressing your cheeks into the palms of your hands.

“Me too… but we can, you know, pull each other out of our comfort zones. I’d do that for you.”

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

Halloween chapter is here >_<

Hi i miss this ughdhisdfjf the lack of updates has been due to school and my emotions/mental health beating my ass. Thank you for reading and being here i love you i hope this brightened your day. I'm working so hard on this next sexy party chapter... stay tuned.

-G ⋆୨୧˚

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

You are not ACAB. You're an asshole

SO this post has been a long time coming and I have sent a rant to several people to look over it for me just so I could get opinions. And most agreed with what I had to say. However it was mean, callous, and too "I'm ok being an shithead" for my taste.

If I am being 100% honest, people hate cops just to hate cops. It's not because there are cops that do wrong. It's just because they are told to/programmed to hate cops. Ok, so why do I say that?

Well a few reasons.

For the past 40 years *minimum* it has been a point of the media to showcase any time a cop does anything bad. Because what better way to "Reach the people" than to assuage them with a "Hello fellow Americans. Doesn't it suck with cops get on our ass about stuff".

Social media has been using bait for years in order to get more traffic to more links and articles. This alone has made rage baiting as an entirety more of an issue.

Because of both of the above, there was a time when alt media *at the time* and social media worked in tandem to constantly show off instances of cops being assholes or outright doing things that were illegal.

So what does this mean. Well it means that you are under a notion that is already provided to you. "Cops are ruthless bad guys that don't do anything for anyone at all".

Except that's not even remotely true. What is true is that often, any positive stories involving cops is buried or glossed over and only ever talked about in very local reports. What's more a cops job is to do the right thing. So when a cop does do the right thing, the understanding is that they are not meant to receive praise. However, that is lopsided in how it works. It more or less means that you are under the LARGEST of microscopes, and if you fuck up at ALL, then you end up as a youtube video that reinforces that "Cops are bad guys" or "Cops are stupid and annoying". Rather than the truth which is that cops themselves are human beings.

Now. I can already see the comment from the shitheads. "ACAB EXISTS BECAUSE-" Shut it. I don't care. Unlike most of you I understand nuance. And more than that, I've had poor run-in's with cops. I have also had to work along side them as private security as well. And my mother, who's not shy about telling people they fucked up, worked as Dispatch and as a Secretary for the PD in the small city we lived in. "Oh well then your brainwashed", you can say that but it does not make you right.

Unlike you, clearly I'm able to think critically about subjects where as you are not. Am I a "Back the Blue" cultist? Absolutely not. I'm solely in the camp of Abolish Unions and hold officers to account for what they do wrong.

However, having said that, Cops duty to uphold the law sometimes manifests in ways that we don't like. Like Uvalde. The cops were in their rights to stop the shooter, but the top brass would have decimated any officer that decided to not follow his order of standing down. I don't think that's ok. Hell that entire chain of command should have faced a lawsuit. But where they DID properly enforce the law, is stopping parents from going in. Because had a parent gone by cops in order to stop the shooter, at that point, it legally could have been considered vigilantism.

Regardless of the moral implications of that, fact is, that's the truth.

So why am I making this post? Mostly because ignorant people exist in this world and their only reason for living at all is just to hate. "All cops are bastards"? Are you so sure? I wonder how many people in the US over the past 100+ years have been saved by cops. I wonder how many kids have been rescued from abuse. I wonder how many women have been saved from rape. I wonder how many kids have been save from gang violence or drug dealing.

Saying, "All cops are bastards" is no different than saying, "Yes all men". Functionally you are saying the same thing. And while you may say, "Hey that's not the same one is an immutable trait and the other is a job", to which I'll say, sure. Except you are making a gross generalization. Which IS the same. And ignores every single decent, good, great cop that exists out there. And every single good cop that has ever existed.

In my last post talking about this, I stated that people that are ACAB don't really hate cops. They just hate that they can't break the law without consequences. And I still believe that, but let me add a bit of nuance to that.

Most of the people that hate cops are programmed to hate cops. Because, like the media does, it picks something that will engage you, and will put it in front of you any way it knows how to. There are also a lot of people out there that hate cops because they can't break the law. That's also very true.

However there is another group that exists and it's Anarchists. Now, I have followers and people that I follow that are Anarchists. And while I view them as different from Tankies, Fundamentally they share the same, "Ideal Utopia" idea. Which is that, "Under my ideals, the world would be better". Except it won't be. It will be warlords and dictators forming groups. Assuming that we don't get taken over by Islamic Extremists, China, or the UN. Their ideals aside, they hate "The State" in all it's forms. And if you are fine with any form of "State" they will quite literally go off on a tirade of why you are a bootlicker. *Sigh*

Now, the last of these groups is just people that either 1) Do not understand what goes into being a cop and just hates them based on baseless notions, or 2) People that have had bad run-in's with cops and take that notion out on ALL cops.

So for these last two sets, things are difficult to deal with. Because they will go out of their way often to not care about how hard it is to be a cop. What do I mean?

Well for starters, cops are expected to be perfect at all times.

Perfect Aim

Perfect knowledge of all laws both federal and local

Perfect judgement at all times

Perfect execution of force at all times

Perfect response at all times

Perfect awareness of surroundings at all times

Perfect ability to listen to the law but also not piss off people breaking the law

And I could go on. Humans are fundamentally imperfect. They always will be. So expecting a cop to be perfect is like asking your SO where they want to eat every day for a month and them knowing right away. Unless you're a LIAR it's not going to happen. Same such, cops can't be perfect. Combine that with having to both uphold the law AND be sure to follow the law at the same time, then combine that with the dangers of the job, the fact that human beings are ANIMALS that are violent by nature, and unpredictable on top of which, with use of force laws. And yeah. You don't have a good time. It becomes a huge issue of people that are like, "Why didn't just just tase him?" or "Why didn't you just shot the gun out of his hand" or better yet, "He only had a knife and was threatening to kill someone. Why'd did you have to shoot him, you are not judge jury and executioner."

And that's where you are both right and wrong.

Right in the fact that they are not a Jury. Wrong about the fact that they are not acting in their capacity to judge a situation, and execute those that are too great a risk to subdue. And if you ever talk to a person that does MMA, subduing a person is not as easy as you think. More over, Tasers are not considered, "non-lethal". In a lot of cases they are considered lethal because you are delivering a shock, meant to incapacitate someone. Meaning that you have the risk of permanently injuring them, OR killing them if their heart stops. Hell you could also in theory turn them into a vegetable.

But sadly no one considers all of these things. And only people familiar with cops and how their jobs work, know any of this.

Am I justifying bad, or even evil cops with this post? No. I think cops fundamentally need more training. I also think that they need frequent psychological evaluations to see the effect of the work on them. Because some of the things you see in your capacity as an officer can be gruesome. Dead bodies. People that have been mutilated. Dead kids from drugs or gang shootings. And the list goes on and on and on.

Recently I made a post talking about how since the summer of 2020, there have been less good cops. And fact is, because of the 2020 riots, a lot of good cops did quit their jobs. That's a fact. Many actually put in for early retirement. And not because "They were being held to account". No. It was because they were told, "If you do your job, we will riot outside your station. Firebomb your cars and homes, and we will find a way to railroad you into prison".

So what do we see in NY and LA? Car break ins. Looting. Beatings in the streets. Cops that will literally stand down while people are being hurt. Why? Because why the hell would anyone be a cop when you are under a microscope SO LARGE, that even the SMALLEST twitch in the wrong direction could end your career and possibly your life.

It's easy to say, "Yeah I'd stop those looters and assaulters". Sure. Right up until the are a protected class. Then enjoy your media crucifixion, loss of work and likely stint in jail. As well as your family getting death threats for years to come. So given all this, I made a point that a lot of hires over the last 3 years have probably been scraping the bottom of the barrel. Because in truth, knowing all the above, why WOULD anyone be a cop? Certainly there are still good cops. But a lot of the good ones quit.

What's more, Now a days it's better as a cop to just NOT enforce the law. Because why risk everything I mentioned. You protect the law and you make the conservatives happy but piss off the woke. And the woke currently more or less control law and media. Good luck getting shanked in jail. If you don't uphold the law, you piss off people who want you to enforce it but you probably get to live another day.

At that point you may say, "OK so why be a cop at all then", and the answer is easy. It's a job. And it pays. Why excel at all when you are expected to be a bastion of perfection? What's that? Didn't use the PERFECT amount of force? Death Penalty. Oh? You shot a guy that pulled a gun on you and you didn't just take the shots to the chest? Well clearly you deserve to be put in jail for the rest of your life.

Cops are treated like they are supposed to be absolutely perfect at all times and it's stupid. I HATE police unions mind you. But you know what I hate more. People that have no idea the risk to their lives that cops are put through day to day just for putting on the badge. The fact that cops NEED wiggle room within the law in order to enforce it.

Remember "Hands up don't shoot"? Yeah. So do I. I also remember that it was a fucking lie, and that there are people to this day that still believe that lie. And if not for Police Unions, he might have rotted in jail for the rest of his life. There is no PEFECT in this life. Not for cops, not for anyone. Cops are not superheroes. They don't swing in on a web shooter and punch the bad guy JUST hard enough to knock him out without killing him. And with morality as fucked up as it is in the west, even just in the US, Law enforcement is in a no win situation. At all times.

But I want to find every person that has ever been saved by cops, and force you to tell those people that all cops are bad. And tell them about how whatever they were saved from doesn't matter because "ALL cops are bad". Tell the women that were possibly saved from rape, "You should have just been raped. Cops are all evil." Or tell the kid that was saved from the person that kidnapped them, "Yeah no, you should have just been a sex slave. Cops are bastards and clearly they didn't WANT to help you". Stop making assessments about ALL of any group of people. Because the likelihood that you'll be right is near zero.

There are good cops. And there are bad cops. Police Unions need heavy reformation. Accountability needs to actually be able to happen. And people need to understand how hard cops actually have it. All of these things can be true at the same time. And none of it is justifying evil or bad cops or even ones that don't enforce the law. It's a nuanced topic. And as such, it should be treated so.

[aspd-culture]

I wish I had the stereotypical aspd that empaths talk about. The calculative and well groomed businessman who’s incredibly independent even at the cost of other people.

I’m honestly a useless loser. I don’t do anything for anybody yet am livid when they don’t do something for me, 80% of the time I forget or don’t do the tasks I’ve been asked to even if it’s the simplest thing. I pass it off to other people. I get threatened by my parents constantly, called useless and a lazy fuck. I’m not motivated for anything, not employed and the thought of it makes me want to rip my skin off or rip their faces off whenever they mention it. It feels like another extension of control. Everything feels like an extension of control and an excuse to assume power over me.

People in my life are moving ahead of me no problem and I’m still stuck on my ass debating whether to break everything in my parents house when they use my lack of employment and symptoms to make fun of me. My friends talk about it like it’s just so simple to suck it up and march forward and I loathe them for it because they don’t understand.

Maybe this is just me being a whiny brat or a bad person

No, this is you struggling with being in a toxic environment - one that will continue to make you feel like this for as long as your parents act that way towards you. It's not possible to heal and recover and learn to process your symptoms and change your behavior in a toxic situation like that. It's likely keeping you in survival mode.

Truly I think in that situation the best way to get yourself to do the things you would need to do to leave the toxic situation is out of spite. Spite can do a lot for pwASPD when we harness it to use for good, since our PD is so reactive to it. If you think to yourself as though you're talking to them "ha, yeah okay sure I'm getting a job just like you wanted right? Except I'm doing it to get the hell away from you", you might find yourself more able to get to do those things. It's not guaranteed to work, but it's something that might help.

And, if it makes you feel any better, prosocials don't actually like us in that stereotype either AND generally ppl who fit that stereotype are in some other way coping destructively. No one who actually has ASPD is managing to not struggle at all with it bc a disorder can only be diagnosed if it significantly and negatively impacts your life. It's important to remember the stereotypes of this demonized disorder are made out to be supervillains - hyper capable beings who choose to be monsters - bc otherwise the prosocials have to admit that they're bullying people who are hurt and wish we could stop dealing with our symptoms just as much as they wish we didn't have them if not more. It's not fun for them anymore if they think about our actual struggles with ASPD, so they try and make it sound like we're having the time of our lives when none of us do. I promise you're far from alone.

It's also worth noting that if you find yourself entirely unable to work without your mental health destructing, that that's called a disability and there are things you can do to either get accommodations or potentially payment for it bc unlike your parents by the sounds of it, the government understands that mental health is a valid reason one might not be able to work.

You're not a useless loser - you're a person with a disorder that is known to be potentially disabling who is being mistreated and stuck in a toxic environment - at least going by this post.

Plain text below the cut:

No, this is you struggling with being in a toxic environment - one that will continue to make you feel like this for as long as your parents act that way towards you. It's not possible to heal and recover and learn to process your symptoms and change your behavior in a toxic situation like that. It's likely keeping you in survival mode.

Truly I think in that situation the best way to get yourself to do the things you would need to do to leave the toxic situation is out of spite. Spite can do a lot for pwASPD when we harness it to use for good, since our PD is so reactive to it. If you think to yourself as though you're talking to them "ha, yeah okay sure I'm getting a job just like you wanted right? Except I'm doing it to get the hell away from you", you might find yourself more able to get to do those things. It's not guaranteed to work, but it's something that might help.

And, if it makes you feel any better, prosocials don't actually like us in that stereotype either AND generally ppl who fit that stereotype are in some other way coping destructively. No one who actually has ASPD is managing to not struggle at all with it bc a disorder can only be diagnosed if it significantly and negatively impacts your life. It's important to remember the stereotypes of this demonized disorder are made out to be supervillains - hyper capable beings who choose to be monsters - bc otherwise the prosocials have to admit that they're bullying people who are hurt and wish we could stop dealing with our symptoms just as much as they wish we didn't have them if not more. It's not fun for them anymore if they think about our actual struggles with ASPD, so they try and make it sound like we're having the time of our lives when none of us do. I promise you're far from alone.

It's also worth noting that if you find yourself entirely unable to work without your mental health destructing, that that's called a disability and there are things you can do to either get accommodations or potentially payment for it bc unlike your parents by the sounds of it, the government understands that mental health is a valid reason one might not be able to work.

You're not a useless loser - you're a person with a disorder that is known to be potentially disabling who is being mistreated and stuck in a toxic environment - at least going by this post.

[centrally-unplanned]

👀 are you interested in fire emblem and would you tell us your opinions of the franchise, I’d be very interested

I do like Fire Emblem! I have played FE6-8, smatterings of 9-10 (never owned them, played with friends), and all the games past Awakening/13. I did also play a bit of FE1, no shade on the limitations of the time of course but it sucks, not worth playing. So I am not a grand FE master but I have a lot of exposure to it.

I admire Fire Emblem for its simplicity of design & stakes - the combat system is "hit enemy, deal damage based on attack power - defense" kind of stuff, how everything works is super clear. All the complexity emerges on top of that. Your army is all individual people, permadeath means you need to pursue strategies with a lot of care such that difficulty doesn't get trivialized even if it is still easy (there is a big gap between "my odds of losing are 5% - exciting, I'm doing well!" and "my odds of losing are 0% - boring, why can't I skip this"). When it is doing its best you have a squad of guys with clear stakes and challenges that are overcome via smart kiting and tanking, it is rarely "did you equip the White Hooded Cat Ears to a unit with the Lapis Pendant to double proc a high initiative archer with Glacial Rain for opening gambit AOE freeze spam to prevent Featherknight Magic Guard from activating?" Which to be clear can also be a ton of fun, each game should just be its own thing - FE is just often best-in-class at its niche.

Fire Emblem also has great aesthetics, it aims for that "classy" style of fantasy typically and everyone authentically buys into all that nobility medieval stuff, which for a video game story can be fun vibes. I love their character designs, normally it is a game series with the right level of fanservice (Camilia -_-), and as someone who enjoys romance sideplots in video games FE typically gives you fun sidequests along those lines that sometimes has gameplay implications to boot - I loved the "eugenics simulator" of FE Awakening, as the fans affectionately called its system of child units inheriting traits from parent units. Tharja you are gonna torture Gaius for eternity via marriage because your faildaughter Noire needs Galeforce, I don't wanna hear any god damn objections okay?

As a series it is far from perfect, as anything running this long must be. The plots are normally "meh", in particular the series just doesn't care about logic that much? People do dumb shit alllll the time; FE7's plot is an absolute mess, Three House's story is hung together by macguffins and asspulls, and so on. It is better when it is simpler - in FE6, our boy Roy has gotta beat a bad guy, he conquering the world with dragons, oh no - great, no notes. More modern games need more involved plots due to market demand, but FE has not yet mastered it imo.

More modern games have also stacked complexity on the combat system - skills that proc, squads that attach to units, most recently "Engage rings" that buff and give spells. These can be good! The thing is the simplicity of say FE6 gets boring over so many hours, what works for a 10 hour game gets stale over 40, you need to grow. Sometimes they do that well - I thought Three Houses generally was smart on this front, the skills are more passive, the squads and gambits were (generally, they fucked up on movement buffs) flexible and didn't break things while giving you toys to play with. But Engage, while a good game, did get too complicated by half with many of its systems, and Awakening literally broke itself with pair-up & stacked skill procs, you can easily trivialize the whole game. And meanwhile to spike difficulty they would give every random enemy fighter different lethal skill procs that you would have to triple check every turn, a problems-beget-problems moment. But! I like that they are experimenting. Would have been real easy to capitalize on the success of Three Houses and just repeat it with Engage, but they didn't.

Also while permadeath is conceptually good, restarting a whole map because of a cheese crit is fucking awful, and I am glad modern games have time reset systems to obviate that. I do not play the older games without an emulator that can save state.

Tier listing the games I have played, lets see:

S Tier: Sacred Stones, Shadows of Valentia

A Tier: Three Houses, Blazing Sword

B Tier: Awakening, Engage, Binding Blade

C Tier: Fates

Edelgard best girl, and I think that covers it!

[junespriince]

Aita?

Boss won't fire me, but is actively trying to kill me more than the speed force is.

Me, the Flash (29yo m) have been not only forced by my boss, Buttman(old as dirt, m) to keep the job my uncle had but to also expect me to not slack in my other jobs outside of this one.

I've lost so much in this unfortunate, and down right inhumane treatment because I'm a speedster and "balance needs to be kept, the justice league needs a speedster, Flash. It's basics universe lore that was given to you as a child." Like, I know jackass, you made me memorize it if I wanted to go on young justice league missions, a school inside of child labor this man was a monster then as he is now.

He won't take the time to learn I'm not like my uncle before me, he treats me like I'm a child because me and Cy, (28, m) are the youngest in the league right now!

I have loss my time dealing with this bullshit, my job before I moved in with my hubby I had to moved to my boss terf because it's cheaper (I wonder why.), my patience for putting up this clearly unhealthy and unjust treatment towards me (dating your boss son is technically a bad business practices, BUT I WASN'T WORKING FOR HIM TO BEGIN WITH, I was dating my old boss, duh, an even horrible practice but I like my men in power what can I say.), and my temper for dealing with a horrible and stubborn man, broadman I know you're reading this, this is why you have a hard time connecting with your kids, if i was your kid I'd runaway too with my handsome best friend.

Anyways, today he had a mission that was stupid. His plans got me almost killed and when I brought it up to him, he had the nerve to say to me "well if you stopped talking on your phone during the debrief, you would have survived it better." First of all, I listen and follow his plan to the T, all my i's were dotted and my t's were crossed, his plan just sucked and I know knew it did because he told auntie Wonder Woman about it and agreed it sucked, and also I WAS TEXTING YOUR SON MY HUBBY THAT I WAS GONNA BE LATE FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY YOU TRIED TO KILL ME ON! So I let him have it. I told him this: "I don't understand this beef we have, it's been years and you were there for our wedding happy to see him happy, so why do you hate me? It's not for any reason I hate you for. You fired your son took HIS Mantle away, fight him over a little thing what wasn't a big deal at the time to him getting angry you replaced him with another kid entirely because you suck at communicating he assumes he failed you somewhere down the line after years of undermining him, you and fans from that comic issue got side kid killed, that started ANOTHER riff because you didn't tell him and when he found out he tried to kill the joker which you stopped and saved the man who murdered your, at the time, youngest child while all you did was mope around and felt sorry for yourself, add another year of shit before now finally fixing your relationship with him and all you got on me is being there for your son and not being the most nicest to you. Grow up."

A few of our teammates told me I was an asshole for saying that to him, Wonder Woman and Green Arrow gave me a pat on the back and some lunch, and when I told this to my husband after finally getting back barely to make up for a crappy anniversary that I probably shouldn't have gotten onto him like that, but I don't see it.

So, reddit, with an unbiased option (I have seen the merch and ao3 tags, I know how much you freaks love this man. Or Superman, which sir, he dated your wife to get back at you years ago the fuck you took up for him for? Get a back bone.) am I the asshole?

Edit: I just think bastardman is homophobic.

Batman's edit: I'm not homophobic, my son could have done better than you is all.

Edit, edit: this is why Selina leaves you at the alter.

Batman's edit edit: this is why your parents beat you.

Edit edit edit: I'd tell you to suck my dick, but I don't want to fuel the freaks of ao3 to write us more, would rather have Kyle kiss me before this.

Batman 4x edit: come to the e meeting room. Now.

Edit 4x: fuck off old man, you can't tell me what to do.

Oracle: children, in my office, now.

Batman: yes ma'am...

Wally: yes ma'am...

[isseisblkbbygrl]

Double Trouble 👿

Sukuna Ryomen x black! Reader x Yuji Itadori x black! Reader

Summary: in which Y/N is stuck at home with two pervy twins who just couldn’t wait till your parents left so they can destroy and ravish you.

Content: threesome, oral (m) receiving, step-sibling action, fingering, praise/degrading, overstimulating, edging (slight), mdni +18

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Well well well, look who’s all alone?” Says the tatted pink haired man. You were at home with your twin step brothers, Yuji and Sukuna and your mom and step dad were out of town for two weeks and that was ample time for the boys to plot and make their move on you. “Nice shorts sis. They fit your ass so well.” The younger twin says stepping from behind Sukuna. Now, in any other situation; this would’ve made your stomach turn in a disgusted matter but then again, you’re not blood and you can’t even lie, they were hot as fuck. “Aww you two came to gang up on little old me?” You say as you sit up on your bed, the pink lacey bra pushing up your boobs making both of the men grunt lowly.

You shoot a seductive yet innocent look towards them as you stood and walked over towards them. “I’ve heard you two talk about me before. Saying how much you two would love to slut me out. Especially you Yuji and I thought you were a mommy’s boy?” Yuji inhales sharply as you inch your way closer to his face. “Watch it princess, never judge a book by its cover.” Sukuna says as he takes a strand of your hair between his fingers. “So what is it big brother? What is it that you want from me? What is it that you both want from me?” The two exchange looks and begin to make themselves look bigger than they already are compared to you. “You smell so good baby. Do you taste as good as you smell too?” Yuji says as his tone of voice went from his normally soft and cheerful voice to a more darkened and dominating expression.

“Go and sit on the bed for us darlin.” Sukuna demands as he too goes and takes a seat on the soft plushy frame. You go and try to sit next to him but he pulls you onto his lap, your body facing Yuji whose eyes look engulfed in desire. The older twin slowly wraps one of his hands around your neck as the other pry open your legs. “Hey Yuji, go ahead and take these ass huggers off her. You wanna have a good view right?” The middle oldest obliges and pulls off your shorts with ease and to their surprise; “No panties huh? You sure know how to make our job easier.” Sukuna begins to place small kisses on your neck as his middle and index fingers slips up and down your slick folds, making you whine and gasp at how his big rough hands were playing with your clit. “Haa… Suuu…” You whimper out. “Look how wet she’s getting bro. And I didn’t even stick my fingers inside her yet. You like this don’t you slut?” You nod trying to contain the lewd noises about to escape your mouth. “She looks so hot all needy and shit.” Says Yuji while he caresses and fondles with your boob.

Noticing the gold clasp in the front of your bra, he quickly unclamps it with one hand, watching as your breast becomes visible and your heart shaped nipple piercings show. “God you’re so sexy Y/n.” The younger twin mutters. “Please…” The twins softly chuckle. “Please what baby? Cmon, tell us what you want?” You tried to tell them but the intensity of Sukuna ramming his fingers in you was so overwhelming. They were long and slender and just right to hit that spot.

“Please fuck me… I need you two bad.” You begged to them, wanting more than just fingers inside you. “Yuji, you hard yet?” “Very.” He answered as he kept his eyes on yours. “Let me fuck her. Cmon bro we had a deal.” He says through gritted teeth. “Easy there brother, be patient.” The man took his fingers out of you and admired the arousal coated around the middle and index fingers. “Stick your tongue out baby.” You did as told and Sukuna stick his fingers in your mouth indicating you suck on them. “You see how pretty that mouth is Yuji? Don’t you wanna stick your dick in it?” Sukuna smirks as he pries your mouth open so Yuji could see. You give him a look of daze in your eyes, a bit nervous for what’s about to cum. (lol I’m funny. Don’t block me) “How bout this; you fuck her pretty little mouth, and I will fuck the shit out of pretty girl here.” You extend out your hands prying at Yuji’s boxers to pull them down. “This bitch is needy as fuck! She really wants your dick Yuji.” Sukuna snarls as he places you on all fours on the bed while Yuji sits in front of you, removing his boxers and his lengthy dick springs out. The sight of his dick was literally making you drool. “Wow you are a needy slut. Mouth watering at just the sight of my dick. Y’sure you can take it all in your mouth like a good girl?”

“Yes sir I swear~ do be gentle.” You say in a subby kind of tone. The older step-sibling scoffed and pulled a handful of your hair yanking you back making you look up at him. “Gentle? Nahh we said we’re gonna slut you out and that’s what we’re gonna do. You just sit there and look pretty, pretty girl.”

He lets you go and Yuji grabs you by the neck opening your mouth with his thumb and placing his dick inside. “Fuucck! Y’Mouth feels so good I might just cum already.” Yuji grunts as he bobs your head up and down on him. Sukuna lands hard blows to your ass making you wince, the vibration of your voice on Yuji’s dick makes him moan a bit louder.

Never in a million years would you expect to be used as a fuck toy by your older step brothers. You’ve only seen this in porn or movies but for it to happen in real life for you is bizarre. Bizarre yet…. So good? You feel Sukuna rub the tip of his dick on your clit, the lewd sounds coming from the slickness of your cunt. “So wet for us princess. Can’t wait to fuck this pretty pussy of yours.” He then thrust himself barely inside you making you gasp at the pressure being pushed, his size stretching you out. “Ooh~ too.. too much.” “Too much? I’m not even all the way in yet. Relax pretty.”

Yuji fucks your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat while spit falls out of your mouth and onto the pink silk sheets on your bed. “It’s okay doll. You can take my big brother’s dick can you? Just like you’re taking mine in your mouth.” You nod continuing to suck off the younger twin. “Say it. Say you can take my big brother’s dick.” You let out a little whimper as you try to talk. “Speak little bitch or I’m not moving at all.” Sukuna says gripping and digging his nails into your hips. “I can-I can take my big brother’s dick.” The two men smile and Sukuna fully pushes himself in you making you scream and cry while stroking Yuji. Sukuna begins pounding so hard into you making your body jerk forward with every thrust he gives you.

“That’s it. That’s a good girl. Take it like you want it. You want daddy’s dick all inside you no?” He whispers in your ear. His deep, seductive voice is like music to your ears. “Yes daddy I want it all!” You moan out fucking him back, the recoil of your ass makes both the boys water at the mouth. “You’re so sexy lil sis I’m finna cum.” “Take his cum. Open that slutty mouth of yours and swallow all my brother’s cum.” You wrap your mouth around the head of his dick and felt the pulsing thing twitch inside your mouth as Yuji had a tight grip on your hair. “Fuck doll I’m finna cum. Finna cum all in your mouth.” The hold on your hair and hips is painfully one thing, but the way Sukuna is dogging your poor pussy out is painfully and excitedly another. A few more strokes in and Yuji shoots his hot sticky cum to the back of your throat as his eyes roll back into his head. Obeying, you swallow every drop Yuji gave you as looked up at him with doe, slutty eyes; opening your mouth to show him how much of a good slut you are.

“You swallowed all of it. Such a good play thing.”

You feel a knot forming in your stomach and your vision becomes hazy. “Daddy m’finna cum. M’finna cum.”

“You better not. You better fuckin hold it bitch or you won’t cum at all.” Sukuna says as his thrust becomes slow but still painfully hard. “Yuji switch with me.” He says as he pulls out of you and turning you on your back. Yuji eagerly switches with his brother and now him and you are face to face. “Look at you doll face, you ready for me to fuck you?” Yuji asks as he lines himself up with your hole. Sukuna grabs your hands and holds them above your head while Yuji pushes your legs back so he can get a good view of your dripping wet cunt. “Such a pretty girl. You have such a beautiful body my dear.” Yuji then pushes himself inside but stops as you let out a high pitch moan and your body shakes. “What’s wrong baby? Is my dick too big for your tight little pussy?” He heckles as he fully inserts himself and you whine. “There there doll face. I’m gonna fuck you so good, you’ll forget all about the pain. It’ll all turn to sweet, sweet pleasure~.”

You watch as Yuji slams his hips into you, your boobs bouncing with every thrust the sweet boy gives you. “Mmm~ fuck this feels so good… oh fucck~.” You moan watching as your older step-brother is putting you through the mattress. “Good girl. Good girl. Take it. Take this dick girl.” Your eyes roll to the back of your head while Sukuna fondles and plays with your breast. “Such pretty nipples. And they’re pierced too.” He says squeezing the plump, soft tissue. He flicks your nipple causing you to arch your back off the mattress. “Be still slut.” Yuji mutters through gritted teeth. Sweat beads falling down his forehead and he bites his lip seeing the creamy white ring appear around the base of his dick. “Please sir it’s so muchh… take it out I can’t take it.” You plea as you whine about his big dumb dick fucking you dumb silly. “Aht aht. What did we promise? You said you can take it.” Sukuna says as he lowers his face to yours. His dark crimson eyes burn into your skull as he opens your mouth and spits into it. “You’re disgusting.” Yuji says leaning down taking your nipple in his mouth. “Oh fuck.. m’finna cum. Can I cum sir? Please let me cum~.” You beg as you’ve been holding your orgasm for quite a while.

Yuji chuckles as he continues to stupidly destroy you. “Y’wanna cum? Wanna cum for me doll face?” “Yeah what is it pretty girl? What is that you want from the both of us? Tell us or you’ll be holdin’ it again.” The tatted man says he starts to play with your clut sending you over the edge. “I wanna cum daddy! Make me cum sir!”

“Cum for us pretty girl. Cum all over Yuji’s dick princess.”

Just then, your vision becomes hazy and you let out a high pitched moan as your orgasm washes over you. Your cum coating Yuji’s dick as his cum spills out of you, oozing onto the bed.

“Such. A good. Slut.”

Your legs tremble as Yuji lets them go and Sukuna lifts you up swiftly into his lap. “Not so fast princess, gimme one more nut outta you.” He says as he aligns his dick up with your cunt. “No please~ I-I can’t take no more..” Sukuna just ignores your begs of mercy and just sinks you down onto his lengthy and girth-y shaft. You’ve already been fucked out of your mind by Yuji but having Sukuna fuck you and from this angle was practically murder. Your body aches and quakes from the practical impaling he’s doing as he fucks up into you, Yuji watching your breast jump up and down and you basically go cross eyed. “Yesss… just like that. Gonna fill you up to the brim.” You moan and hiss at him thrusting at such an inhumane pace it brings you close again to your orgasm. “Daddy please…p-please I’m gonna cum again.” You felt it ball up in your core again and you knew that this was gonna be one hard orgasm as your breathing starts to hitch and you throw your head back in pleasure. “Cum. Cum all over me.” He growls into your ear as his dick twitches inside your sopping wet cunt.

His words were the right amount of ammo to get you off and it did. You gasped and cried out as you came and squirted all over Sukuna, Yuji, and the bed soaking the sheets. Sukuna rides out your orgasm by thrusting very hard until his cum shot up inside you, coating your velvety walls and stomach as he pulls out of you. His nails digging into your hips, daring to break skin.

After you come down from your well done high, you collapsed onto Sukuna, your body trembling from the vulgar actions that just took place. He carefully rolls you onto your bed while him and Yuji get dressed.

“Well done slut.”

“You did so good for us doll face.” Yuji says as he caresses your thighs and ass before landing a slap onto your sore, aching, pussy. “Ah~ f-fuck you guys.” You say trying to open your eyes from the high.

“How bout you rest up first. Horny little bitch.”

.

.

.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please read the tags and warnings before reading.

BNHA

you could have knocked me out with a feather by sahwen

"Your X-rays don’t indicate any fissures or other breaking in the skull,” his handler said as she looked over his file. She always spoke like that, as did his other handlers; the skull. Not his. Because it wasn’t his, when you got right down to it. He was a public figure. He was property. He was real estate.

And he knew what she meant when she said your x-rays don’t indicate any fissures. It meant, you’ve wasted our time. It made him sweat.

Or: Hawks gets bonked. The HPSC is not a hospital.

Stranger Things

Adopt a Jock by @sp0o0kylights

Hellfire adopts Steve during his final year of high school. Pre-Steddie. (Ongoing tumblr fic)

DC (Batfamily)

This Dark Ceiling Without a Star by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday

"For fuck’s sake, your chatter is going to drive me crazy faster than this stupid spell.”

“Then you talk!”

“There’s no point!” Jason snaps. “I can feel it, okay. It’s—there’s no emotion behind it, it’s not using my thoughts. It’s just a bunch of weird Greek echoing in my brain and a compulsion to act. And it’s getting stronger. Talking isn’t going to slow it down.”

“Then what will slow it down?”

After five long seconds of silence, Tim gives into the urge and viciously jabs his fist into Jason’s leg for the second time.

“Goddammit, why?” Jason snaps, green briefly sparking in his eyes before disappearing just as quickly.

“You are not seriously going to just sit there and wait to die.”

“The hell do you care anyway?”

“Because I don’t want you to die! Obviously!”

“You fucking should."

Marvel

status quo by jilliancares

"So, you’re investigating this not-so-bad-bad-guy, and you’re coming out of his apartment at—" Wade tilts his head to the side, just enough to check his watch “—almost exactly the time you usually start your patrol.”

Peter chews on the inside of his cheek. “Yep,” he decides on.

“And — just to be clear — I definitely shouldn’t unalive this guy instead of the douchebag across the street.”

“Definitely not,” Peter agrees. “No one would like that.”

Wade bangs his head against the fire escape again. “Okay, Webs. This one’s just to gauge if you’re smarter than a fifth grader: how much of that do you think I actually believe?"

Or: Somehow, the components of Peter’s secret identity keep crumbling all around him.

Also: He’s running out of excuses not to tell Wade that he’s in love with him.

9-1-1

Don't You (Forget About Me) by Princessfbi

"Bill, can you tell me your location? I want to send some people to make sure you’re okay. You don’t sound okay.”

“I’m not. But he’s worse off than I am. Shouldn’t you want to help him instead? Wouldn’t you want to know where he is?”

“Who is he?”

“That firefighter I buried underground.”

The long awaited buried alive fic

ATLA

All the Little Things by CSHfic, VSfic

Sokka receives an offer of an arranged marriage from the Northern Water Tribe. On the one hand, accepting would strengthen ties between their tribes. On the other hand, Chief Arnook has suggested Hahn as a potential match, and Hahn sucks. But with the future of the Southern Water Tribe Reconstruction project relying heavily on the good will of the North, Sokka doesn’t know how to say no.

(Katara doesn’t have to deal with this. Katara is dating the Avatar.)

Zuko has a solution. Sokka just wishes he’d realized he was in love with the Fire Lord before he agreed to pretend to date him.

Classroom Lessons by Thisisentertaining

Sokka never would have thought he'd be pretending to be a Fire Nation Colonial Citizen, going to a parent conference about his fake!son who was an airbender, but here he was.

At least life wasn't boring.

Sokka turned on Aang, fake mustache and beard bristling. "Young man, as soon as we get home, you're gonna get the punishment of a lifetime."

The headmaster smirked, smugly, evil-y, Fire Nation-y. "That's what I like to hear. Really Zuko him."

the snakes, and the people that they bite by Serie11

Rai is just a normal guy, really. One of the many guards that patrol the Fire Lord's palace.

Why did it have to be him who got caught up in this assassination attempt?

Finishing Each Other's Sentences by mindbending

fire lilies are red your melancholy mood’s blue still I prefer you 

After the war, Sokka starts writing poetry.

She broke your throne by Serie11

Zuko is kidnapped from his afternoon of paperwork by a well intentioned friend. There just so happens to be a festival on in town for them to attend instead of working...

[dairy-farmer]

Ooooooh Had A Thought >.>

Remember the Justice Lords? There are legit "Evil Who Think They Are Heros Just Doing What Must Be Done(tm)" versions of our beloved Bats. And? Depending on the timeline? Their Reign of terror/Authoritarian takeover? May have started amping up around that time Jason supposedly "pushed" somebody of a building.

Batman may have just... been okay with that. Never lost Jason.

But! Imagine if in this universe he was a BIT more paranoid. Made sure Dick didn't use his family's signature move. Nothing to connect the two. A secret kept secret.

Tim follows for a while but... well... things start getting... DANGEROUS.

No longer the Batman he was supposed to be. Tim stops. Batman has broken his heart. Robin, how could you? Etc.

The Bats go full Dark Timeline. No ones having fun. They try to "Bring Justice, Bring ORDER" to other worlds. Like they did their's.

Get a face full of Absolutely The Fuck Not with a side of Get Out Of Our Reality from the normal JLA. And?? Whoms't is that? There is an extra, BRILLIANT, Robin. Vicious and deadly. Brutal in a fight.

They don't have one.

Why do they not have one? Their realities should be nearly identical. This makes no...

Their Bruce grapples, they are being forced back. They have seconds. There! A lucky grab. Cowl ripped back.

Timothy Drake? They lose footing. Sucked back towards their own reality. The Kryptonian clone preventing them from taking Drake with them. And then it's over.

The others are raging. Cursing and stomping like children. But all they can think is... he? Was RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

And imagine it. You like in a tyranny. The newscasters hide fear behind frozen smiles. God like men and women overthrew everything, kill as they please and change the rules to suit them. It's IMPERATIVE no one suspects you EVER have been anything less then enthusiastically supportive. People disappear for less.

The world went mad before you were ever old enough to do anything about it.

And suddenly? Your creepy, reclusive neighbors, with too much power, somehow connected to The Powers That Be, are acting like they KNOW you. Not your family. YOU.

Acting really, REALLY friendly. Want to Be your friiiiend.

Showing up everywhere.

Your parents trips are suddenly being green lit. But there is an under tone of "don't come back". They are afraid. You are afraid.

Ha ha! Don't WORRY, says your neighbor, he'll look out for you!

You've never spoken.

His hand feels possesive on your shoulder. His children LOOM. Smiling and smiling all around you like beautiful sharks.

You don't understand.

It's like they all share a secret about you that you don't know. They keep poking and prodding, trying to get more and more of you. LEARN more and more about you.

And the lingering touches. So many lingering touches. You're so tense, so tired, you could shake to pieces.

There hasn't been an Ivy attack in YEARS, not since she was...

Yet somehow the buildings hit. JUST your rooms. You're not stupid. Can't breathe. Too hot! Their faces cooing masks of "concern". Oh noooo. They say. How could this HAPPEN? They hum.

Hands already patting and stroking. Scooping you up. And? Tim is not DUMB.

He squirms. Tries to hold on to coherent thought. But it's pointless. He's outnumbered.

And they aren't ANIMALS, they'd protest. They are so very, very sweet. So gentle. So loving. Help their Timmy finally relax and feel so, so good. Hands that guide him up and down. That hold him still while others move. Skin to kiss, a clever little mouth, ready to devour.

So warm. They are OBSESSED.

Just? Imagine getting turned into the Emotional Support Fuck Robin for the Evil Bit Think They're Heroes BatFam all because your ALTERNATE self was a bamf.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can just imagine the GuILT that would hit tim and the other universe when they look into the invading universe to both keep tabs and to make sure they can't come back because dealing with hostile universes is more of 'keep an eye on it' sort of situation. of course its not long before they find out what's happening.

no one but tim had seen the...oddness in the other bats' behavior towards him. tim notes it in his report about how he was unmasked by the other dick moments before they were forcibly sucked into their world and something about the intent look that had been shot at him...unnerved tim. having someone like dick grayson lock on you with that sort of intensity is never a good thing.

so tim is...worried. something in hus gut just turned at the lock the other dick grayson had given him. it wasn't hostile. not like how the other bats had been to their own counterparts. the other bats had been whopping them good. it wasn't until him, cass, steph, and barbara were called in that many of the plans the other bats set up dissolved. but unlike the others there hadn't been such a...lingering sense. the other batman had perked up and drifted their eyes to him when they learned that it had been tim's plan that resulted in the rescue of the other bats. there was something...appraising in that look but also something...hungry. like a starving, half-rabid coyote stumbling across an injured bunny.

it turned tim's stomach and so when the report of the other world comes in tim can't hold back the visceral reaction of what they were doing to their tim. their tim who had nothing to do with bats and who had lived a perfectly normal life with his parents until that bruce sent them away and threatened them with torture and death if they ever returned.

tim can't help him.

THEY. the justice league of his world can't help them. opening portals to other worlds blurs their lines, makes it easier for the influence of one to enter another. the monitoring is just so they can keep an eye on it which they construct whatever barriers they need to to keep their universe separate.

the justice league doesn't like going in to other universes and "saving" or liberating it. its too much of a gray area because then what's to stop them from going into EVERY universe that they find distasteful and doing the same? no. best to keep their noses to their own grindstone and let the universes of others be no matter how torturous it might be.

and so now tim is stuck...watching. and thinking about his cowl being pulled off his face in those final moments while starving eyes dug into him.

[thestuffieguardian]

I was going to dm you & thankfully I saw your pinned post first!! So I hope this is okay to leave here.

But the comment you added onto that reblog hit so hard to home. Having shit parents really fucks up your perception of life & people, really had you feeling like it's your fault that you were treated that way & emotionally & physically neglected, that we are unworthy & unloveable, yet we are the ones that have to fix ourselves they never take blame & they never answer for the actions. It fucking sucks so bad & I'm so sorry to see that you understand this!

It's honestly one of the worst feelings having parents that put the responsibility on us to make their lives better, when they should have been doing that for us. We all deserved so much better, we aren’t the bad ones, they are. We just unfortunately have to live with the pain that they put us through 😔

I hope you’re okay & again I’m sorry to see that you know what it’s like, you seem like such a loving, kind & wonderful person & you have clearly done that yourself, you should be proud of the man you’ve became! I hope you have a nice night & a really happy life ❤️

(Also sorry for the rant haha)

Ah it's okay. I'm over it. I got tired of begging for love from those who were supposed to give it unconditionally. Told my own father if he ever approached me again I'd tear his throat oot. I'm 30, dude. They lost me as their son the moment they abandoned me and left me on the doorstep of an abusive family. Like some Scottish Harry Potter. That's why I love Harry Potter so much, it resonated with my soul, even as a child

We should never have went through what we did. I did bad things. Things that I never should have. I regret them every single day. All the pain I had burning inside me, I took out on others. Pain that was never supposed to be mine. But you're right. It's made me the man I am today

I'm not proud of what it's took for me to become him. The...trials and the tribulations I've undergone just to become him, because it haunts me. Every single day. I fear I will always have this pain in my heart & darkness in my mind. But I do my best to be the best man I can be, no matter the cost. I'm the only one of my friends or family who ever done a single ounce of self-reflection

Which left me alone without them. You can't grow when you're around poisonous soil. Flowers can't bloom without the water to feed them. These people, they made us who we are, we just have to do our best to make sure we become better than we were, not stay the same. Because that's what it means to be human

The most kind humans were most likely not that way before. Kindness comes with pain and lots of it. Because to understand ones pain is another level of growth, I never even expected to make it this far, I should never have made it this far. But I'll make sure before my time is up that any kindness that grows inside me can be spread. Even the smallest amount. Thank you for saying these things

We don't get to choose our cards. We just deal with the hand we're given. We don't choose our parents. Siblings. When you grow up with your entire family hating you, it kinda puts shit into perspective. I'm over it.

A light switch flicks in your mind when you tell your family you tried to take your own life, and they don't bat an eyelid. We become better. We kill the bloodline we are born into, because I will not use this pain to hurt others any longer, I will use it for good, no matter how much overwhelming darkness engulfs me & my lantern dims. My pain is my pain. I will bear that burden

It is however nice to see someone else who had the same thing. You and I sitting together in a wee sandbox playing together, bonding over this. But unfortunately as an adult that's not safe. I'm happy you're still here and you didn't let them poison you. Take care of yourself 💙

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: Pregnancy, addiction

N. & I were in that drug clinic at the hospital, where I’m going to deliver. I had my usual prenatal check-up. I also asked the doctor for our babies sex. And yea, I was right! It's a BOY!!! 🩵Yeyy, I was so happy! I couldn’t wait for our baby to be born. And Nico was happy too. He was so excited. This time we could see our Baby really well on the screen. I saw his tiny hands, feet, his head and he also showed us his backside. He just turned around during the exam. Nico said our son looks like an Alien, because he had such a big head, but that’s normal, the doctor explained. And everything else was fine too. I was so relieved. I was always so worried about our baby's development. Those damn pills, yk? That’s exactly why I had an appointment at the drug clinic that day too, that was in the same building as the hospital. (A huge hospital.)

On my first visit at this hospital, 5 months ago, they told us what my treatment here will look like. As you already know, I didn’t like it! But I had no choice. I did this for my baby. Because IF my baby is affected by that Neonatal abstinence syndrome (NAS), he is in the best hands here. Her are the pros, so.... I just had to deliver at this hospital. (I’ve explained it all before and I don’t want to do it again.)

However, a doctor called me into his office/examination room, after I took a drug test....

Doc: Well! So far everything is fine. And after delivery, you have to come here once a week to get your pills.

Me: Yes, I’m aware of that. But how long do I have to do this treatment? Actually, I already have a doctor. Also I wanna quit those pills.

Doc: Before we talk about quitting, there are a few other things to deal with. Believe me, you don’t want to go through rehab after delivery. You will need good nerves! Heroin addicts never really quit anyway. And as for the duration of the treatment, we usually plan to accompany you and your baby here for a year. If everything goes well, you can switch back to your GP earlier.

Me: I have nothing against being treated here, I just don’t understand why a social worker has to accompany me? I mean those home visits. It's a invasion of my privacy. 😒

Doc: I’m not a social worker, I’m just taking care of your substitution treatment. And frankly, I don’t have time to argue with someone like you. My job is your addiction!

Nico: Your job doc, is to help and answer questions all day long.

Me: N.!! 🤦‍♀️...😬

Nico: What?🤷‍♂️😠 .. We're off the beaten path here. It’s unreasonable to come here with a little baby once a week just to get your pills. Besides, parking in this damn area is almost impossible or costs over 30 euros. I have to drive all the way across town to get to that hospital. How are you going to do this on your own? With a baby? I won’t always be there. One of us has to work. Abroad! But heey... maybe that social worker can help you and even pay all the tickets you need just to get here. At this... wonderful place.

Doc: Well-

Me: Thanks! Until next time, doc! 😬

We got up, heading for the door....

Nico: Now you're mad at me.

Me: No! Really not! You're right!. This place sucks! I’m sorry you have to come here because of me. But.... that’s the way it is N.🤷‍♀️.. You can’t talk to these doctors like this. Maybe our baby will need their help? That's why we're here.

Nico: This fucking doc can't help our baby. This guy can’t do anything! Except warm up the office chair with his lazy ass for the real boss of this.... damn institution. This wasn't even his office.

Me: Yeah, I think he just represented the doctor the other day. Anyway, once this is over, you can be.... mean to them! 😉I wouldn't mind.

This hospital is gonna drive me to hell!! 😒 Anyway! We went to my parents after that. I wanted to talk to my mom. I told her I was moving in with Nico.

My mom already knew. Nico’s mom called her and she also invited us all, my parents & me, to..... talk. 🤨 And Ana also talked to Nico & me. It was about Philip. Yep! Ana has seen Philip a couple of times during the summer. However, Ana has agreed to help Philip in court to get custody of Annabelle back. And she also needed Nico's and my help for this. So we’ll talk to Philip and help him of course. But what really was going on between Ana & Philip??? I didn't understand yet. 🧐

Also, I met Daniel. I was on my way home after work. This meeting was purely coincidental! It was not agreed between us.

The more shocked I was when I saw Daniel with another girl. I was..........just crying. 🤦‍♀️💔💔💔And since I’m such a jinx, he saw me too. 😖But the worst thing was........... I’m gonna do something unforgivable. 😢

Previous/Next

[supernovafics]

✧∘ଂ ࿐ ཾ 𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑶𝑵𝑬. ✭・.・✫・゜・。.

pairing: ex-bestfriend!steve x fem!reader

word count: 683 words

warnings: explicit language, minor mentions of parental trauma 

series masterlist | last part — next part

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

❝ 𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆, 𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖. ❞

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Dear Steve,

Do you remember how we met?

Weirdly enough, I remember the exact moment. Mainly because I was so fucking nervous. (side note: being the new kid in town sucks absolute ass)

But, anyway, I moved in next door to you and our parents hit it off immediately since it turned out that our dads were going to be working with each other. 

As they all nonstop talked for a solid fifteen minutes in the front yard and I stood by like the most lonely twelve-year-old fifth wheel ever, you pulled up on your bicycle coming from God knows where. 

Our parents were quick to introduce us, and then they made you hang out with me. It was nice finally seeing and interacting with a kid my age, but I also thought that you would hate me since our parents were essentially forcing this “play date” to happen. However, you were actually really nice and I was kind of glad that my parents forced me to meet you. 

We went to your backyard and sat by your pool, and I remember that it was insanely hot that day and I really wanted to go swimming but had no idea where my bathing suit was packed among the boxes scattered in our new garage. I could tell that you really wanted to swim too, and although I told you that it would’ve been completely fine if you did it without me, you shrugged like it was no big deal and said that you didn’t want me to feel left out. Which, now looking back on that moment, is probably when I knew that I really wanted us to be friends. 

It surprised me how much we had in common and how so much of that commonality came from how insane our parents were. In the moment it felt funny, but now I can’t help but see how sad it was because of how nonchalantly we were talking about our parents being so neglectful to us. 

You told me the story about when you were in first grade and your mom forgot to pick you up from school because she booked a spa appointment that went until 5pm, and that’s how you learned how to walk home. And I followed up by talking about the time both my parents missed my dance recital when I was eight because my dad worked late (even though he said he wouldn’t), and my mom somehow showed up so late that she missed the number I danced in. 

Now I’m realizing that those fucked up storytimes were probably what cemented our friendship. Because somehow we both found someone that actually fully understood what all of that parental shittiness was like. 

The next day I went over to your house again, since mine was still in complete disarray from unpacking, and I brought a bunch of my favorite movies and we watched them in your living room. 

It’s funny because I think you hated all of them, or at least most of them, and I remember thinking something along the lines of: “I can never talk to this guy again. How could he hate The Great Gatsby? He’s an idiot!”

Of course, none of that happened, because aside from your horrific judgment of movies (which I hope has changed by now), I already saw you as an important person in my life. 

I think we probably spent that entire summer before school started attached at the hip, and when school did finally start it felt okay walking in as the new kid because you were there. Helping me and protecting me from the idiots. 

Twelve-year-old me truly never thought that there would be a time when we weren't the greatest of friends with each other. And I know how naive that probably was for me to think.

But, actually, I don't believe it was entirely that naive to think because we were different. You and me, our friendship, was different than just any other one.

And I honestly think that if I didn't mess things up as badly as I did, we would still be in each other's lives right now.

Sincerely,

Y/N

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

next part

[botgal]

God im so done goverments are trying to censor everyone on the internet across the world i don't understand how they have this much power and all just to sell our fucking data and get more money. They are lying to grieving parents and claiming they are protecting kids no the fuck you are not. And California bills. Their also planning on talking about banning tiktok again this monday i just want all of this to end im so done why is our are government fucking with everyone around the world like i don't get why they want to control us so badly and feed whatever propaganda they can.

I know we still should not give up that's what they want but im tired of worrying over everyones rights being taken away genociding happening in other countries. I hate that are governments claim they care just to spread their fascism/propaganda/being dictators. I know it's not grieving parents fault at the end of the day but i read an article about parents trying to push this bill to pass besides some old fucking fossils who should be under the grave. Like how can these parents trust these governments when time and time again they are just fucking us over how can they can realize kosa is not a good bil it also harms them it harms everyone in the end.

What i also don't get how are people not worried over kosa passing i know it's just a committee so not an actual vote yet people should still be calling. But people were making a big deal about kosa last year now people don't care at all anymore people are going to start panicking when it's too late always ends up happening. I'm just calling trying to manifest trying to keep positive about the whole ordeal just very tired....

Yeah, I won't lie to you. Shit sucks right now in a lot of ways. The government has never been your friend and all the rich people on earth just want to get richer with no regard for the people they tread on to get there. They all prey on vulnerable people by telling them what they're doing will help them or bring them closure or even just give them something to lash out at because that's what they do. They just keep taking and taking and want all humans to be nothing but working cogs.

People are worried, plenty I've seen. And it's up to us to spread these things so More people are worried and do something about it before they also lose something important. I'm one of the most evasive people when it comes to stress but even I know how to make myself buckle down when it counts. And now is when it certainly counts.

We have things we can do to pre-empt future harms as well as fight in the present. Pay attention to your state elected officials at both state and federal levels, see what their platforms are on certain ideas and either stand behind them or push them to see the light. *Senator Marsha Blackburn, one of the Senators behind KOSA and a blatant transphobe, is up for re-election this year, hint hint* We need to get as many good people in office as possible to keep anything like this from happening again. Push that blue wave so we can deal with people who might be semi reasonable.

We have the courts, we have people willing to stand for our rights. And even after any bills pass, we can always push back as long as we're here.

I understand being tired. We all are. But as long as they won't let it rest, neither must we. But I hope you will take care of yourself regardless.

[ash-mcj]

kiri sully x female!reader

modern AU | all characters are adults

prompt—"i don't want a shy Kiri, I want a Kiri that gonna kiss me so hard in a party bathroom and go away giving me smile as if she didn't just make me so fucking needy" (x)

Tsireya was already running down the driveway towards your car when you pulled up to her house. You put the car in park and unlocked the doors half a second before she pulled yours open, a bright smile on her face.

“You’re here!” she greeted amiably. “You took long enough.”

“Yeah, yeah—I’m here now,” you said. Sure, you were a little late—but was it really your fault, when she invited you to come over less than two hours before you were expected to get there? 

Tsireya grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the car. “Come in and get something to eat and drink. We bought so much crap and it needs to be gone before tomorrow.”

“I can probably help with that,” you agreed, letting her drag you towards the front door. As you approached, you caught the rowdy voices of more people than you thought were supposed to be hanging out tonight.

You squeezed her hand and stopped walking, forcing her to pause with you. “Reya, didn’t you say this was a kickback?”

“It was,” Tsireya answered, then pursed her lips in annoyance. “Then Ao’nung invited his stupid friends, and now it’s a party. And our parents are going to kill us when they come home tomorrow, because Ongu already broke a picture frame by knocking it off the wall, and Koro doesn’t know when it’s time to stop drinking until he pukes.”

“You know what, I just remembered that I actually have to be up early tomorrow,” you lied, the thought of dealing with Ao’nung’s friends all night making you slightly regret coming. “I should probably get going.”

Tsireya’s eyebrows pinched together and you knew you were about to be hit with her pleading eyes—which nobody in the entire universe other than her own parents could hold strong against—but her expression quickly relaxed into faux indifference.

“Fine,” she sighed. “I guess Rotxo will have to try keeping the boys away from Kiri by himself. Hopefully he manages.”

She was evil. Everyone always thought Tsireya was such a perfect, sweet angel—but they were wrong.

You rolled your eyes and stomped into the house, muttering, “I don’t know what Lo’ak sees in you.”—which was a damn lie, because you probably would have gone for her if she wasn’t your best friend. She was probably the second hottest girl you’d ever seen in your town.

Right behind Kiri Sully, of course.

“Dude, stop,” Rotxo chuckled, as he watched Ongu dance around the living room to the beat of the music blasting from a stereo on the coffee table. “This is embarrassing.”

“Nah, bro, you look good—keep going,” Ao’nung cheered him on, his phone raised and obviously recording—probably for blackmail. You made a mental note to ask Ao’nung for the video later.

The coffee table was covered in empty beer bottles and soda cans—and you felt pretty confident that you could guess which choice of drink Ongu had, from the uncoordinated swaying of his body.

“Come dance with me,” he said, offering a hand to Nash’vi—who shook his head and playfully pushed him away.

“Nobody wants to dance with you,” Rotxo told him.

“Kiri does!” Ongu claimed, pointing at her. “C’mon, Kiri, you know you want to. One song.”

Kiri scoffed and raised an eyebrow. “I’d rather drink acid.”

“Oof,” Ao’nung snickered as he turned the camera to her. She stuck her tongue out at it, then took a drink from her soda.

“You’re breaking my heart, Sully.”

“That really sucks,” Kiri deadpanned. “For you.”

Ongu put his hand over his chest and stumbled backwards, as if he’d been shot—but it somehow turned into a very messy body roll of some sort.

“I think I have some tape in my car, if you wanna put it back together,” you suggested as you sat on the armrest of the couch, beside Rotxo. He held his half-empty beer up for you, and you took a swig, before passing it back. “I’m surprised Lo’ak isn’t getting in on of all… this.”

“He’s in my room,” Tsireya said, heading for the stairs. “So is Neteyam. You can join us, if you don’t want to hang out with these fools.”

“Well, what are you doing down here?” you asked Kiri. You’d rather be upstairs, but you weren’t going to leave her by herself.

“They needed a babysitter, since they collectively share half of a single brain cell, and I pulled the short stick.”

You gasped and put your hands over Rotxo’s ears. “Don’t say that about him—his heart is huge, despite his small size.”

Rotxo smacked your arms away from him and you laughed, before stealing his beer. 

As you brought the bottle up to your lips, you caught Kiri’s stare from across the room. Her eyes slowly roamed up your body, heat building in them as she took in the way the green dress you wore accentuated your figure. When she finally met your gaze, a smirk played on her lips, and she shot you a wink that made your breath hitch.

This had become normal, lately. You’d been dancing around each other for the past few months, and you were pretty sure that one of you was going to break soon and make a real move. Your flirting had started innocently enough. Boys would try to hit on one of you, and the other would jump in with compliments or innuendos that would make the boys understand that they were going for someone who didn’t play for the assumed team.

**

“Damn, Sully, your ass looks good in those,” Makeyo—a guy who went to highschool with you and apparently didn’t fuck off to college—said as he trailed behind Kiri on her way to the park bench she was meeting your friend group at.

“It would look even better in my lap,” you spoke, shifting one of your legs out from under the table.

Kiri turned to you with an almost disbelieving smile, and your eyes darted down to your leg, before returning to her. An invitation. You figured it was your job to step in if she was in an uncomfortable situation, right? Any friend would. Girls helping girls, or something.

“You’re right,” she agreed, stepping over to you and plopping down to practically straddle your leg and lean back against you like she belonged there. You wrapped one arm around her waist and waved your fingers dismissively at Makeyo with your other hand.

To your surprise, Kiri stayed there in your lap for the rest of lunch, and your friends didn’t even bat an eye at it as they all talked and shared food. You definitely had no complaints.

**

At some point, these interactions bled into moments where nobody was bothering either of you. Eventually, they began happening when nobody else was around at all.

**

You were slightly out of breath as you ran into your favorite coffee shop. You had work in about ten minutes, but you’d happily be late before you tried dealing with the bullshit of your job without caffeine. You had Kiri to thank for introducing you to the cafe, since she worked there. And by some miracle, she was working that morning.

“Running late?” she asked, a teasing grin on her face.

“Very. Be glad you’re working and didn’t have to listen to my ranting about it in the group chat.”

Kiri chuckled. “You think I don’t read the group chat while working? You’re very whiny this morning.”

“Shut up,” you sneered, though there was no bite in your tone. “I need a—”

“On the counter,” she cut you off, nodding towards the pick up counter, where your drink was waiting for you.

You stared dumbly at it for a moment, before a smile spread across your face. “You’re amazing.”

“I know.”

You grabbed it and immediately brought it to your mouth to start drinking as you hurried out of the shop, giving her a grateful wave as you left.

As you got in your car, you noticed writing scrawled on the side of the cup where the customer’s name would usually go.

‘the most gorgeous girl i know’

**

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” Kiri announced, standing up. She nodded to you and asked, “You wanna come?”

You wanted to say ‘on your fingers, absolutely’—but you more appropriately answered, “Yeah, sure.”

“Why do girls do that?” Koro asked. “They always go to the bathroom together.”

Rotxo shrugged. “Mysteries of the universe.”

Kiri snagged your hand as she passed in front of you, and led you down the hallway. She didn’t say anything or look back at you, so you didn’t bother speaking either. You paused when she reached the bathroom, but she didn’t let go of your hand—pulling you right in with her. Before you could question it, she kicked the door closed and quickly brought the hand that was laced with yours up above your head, pinning it to the door as her body trapped you against it.

“Hello,” you whispered, your eyes darting down to her lips only a few inches from your own.

“I like this,” Kiri complimented, her other hand running up the side of your dress. Your eyes snapped up to meet hers when her fingers trailed across the side of your breast. “When you asked me what my favorite color was the other day, this isn't what I expected.”

“Who said it was for you?” you challenged, though it came out a bit breathier than intended. “Maybe I wore it because I like this color.”

“I’ve never seen you wear green.”

“You pay that much attention to what I wear?”

“Yes,” Kiri answered without an ounce of hesitation.

“So what if it was for you?”

“Well, if it was for me, I’d show you how much I like it,” Kiri said. She hooked her finger under your chin and ran her thumb over your bottom lip, her eyes tracing the touch. 

“It’s for you.”

She grinned, her eyes finding yours again. “I know, baby.”

Your mind was still reeling from the endearment, but she didn’t give you any time to process it, before closing the space between your faces. She released your lip just to gently suck it into her mouth, and you let her. As her soft lips moved against yours with the fervor of dancing around one another for months and finally being able to touch, to taste, you realized that you really would have let her do anything she wanted.

Heat began pooling in your stomach when she let out a quiet moan as you caressed her jaw. Fuck, you wanted to hear more of that. Your fingers trailed down her neck, down to her chest, and then paused at the feeling of the familiar twine-wrapped rose quartz pendant you’d given her. 

She suddenly hiked your leg up onto her hip, and a needy whimper fell from your lips as she firmly pressed her thigh against you. Distantly, you noted that you could feel her grin as she languidly licked into your mouth. 

“You want me?” she whispered, her breath tickling your spit-slick lips.

“For a long time,” you confirmed, using your leg to pull her firmly against your body.

Two sharp knocks on the door behind your head startled you both, and you separated, chests heaving and faces flushed.

“Get out already—I gotta pee,” Ao’nung called.

You wondered if Tsireya would forgive you for murdering her brother.

“Occupied,” you snapped.

“I will piss in Kiri’s shoes, if you guys don’t let me in there in the next thirty seconds.”

Kiri rolled her eyes and shook her head. “We should probably go.”

“Or I could buy you new shoes,” you proposed.

“You’re ridiculous.” She laughed, her hands flitting about your body to quickly fix your hair and resituate your dress. “Sexy, but ridiculous.”

“We’re really gonna let Ao’nung cockblock us?”

Kiri smirked as she tugged you closer by your waist and brushed her lips against the shell of your ear. “You’re so desperate for me. It’s hot.”

“Guys!” Ao’nung complained.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re coming,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Not yet, but that sounds fun,” Kiri said as she moved you away from the door and turned the knob. “C’mon, let’s go rejoin the party. And maybe, in a bit, we can take my brother’s car for a spin. I have the keys.”

You nodded emphatically, fantasies flashing through your mind about how useful Neteyam’s spacious back seat and tinted windows were going to be.

Thank fuck you came to this stupid party.

[sapphire-weapon]

I don't judge people who don't want to have children. But what's so bad about wanting tohave them ? You said that you're pretty frustrated about it because of your brother.

Is it too personal if I ask why? Is he unhappy about his life?

Also, have you always felt this way about the topic of children or has it changed drastically because of an event in your life?

( sorry for being curious)

you sound like you've yet to have someone close to you have children.

my friends having children is the #1 way i've lost friends. not because of disagreements or anything like that. but because, when someone has kids, that becomes their whole life. the person that you knew, that you were close with? they're gone. the things you used to do with them? won't happen anymore. the way you could rely on them if you needed to? well, you can't, anymore. not really.

obviously this happens on a spectrum. my buddy elizabeth has two kids, and it hasn't become her entire personality. we still go out and do things -- but that's because she has a house husband.

and for some people, having kids is an objectively good thing. when my roommate's brother had his kid, he stopped being a grifter and got his shit together to the point where he was able to buy a house. and he's separated from his babymama, so he can enjoy being a well-adjusted adult now.

but those two are the exception, not the rule.

for the vast majority of people, it literally does become their entire personality. it's all they'll talk about, because it takes over their whole life, because it has to. they don't have time to keep up with their hobbies or play new games or go out with you and friends. there's literally only enough time in their day to go to work and take care of their kid. and that's pretty much it.

when people have kids, most of the time, their growth as a person basically stops; their life, for all intents and purposes, ends. it stops being theirs. their life now belongs to their child. and personally, i find that to be tragic. it feels like a cancer diagnosis. i hear "i'm/my wife is pregnant" and my brain goes "wow, well you're going to be dealing with that for the rest of your life. that fucking sucks."

this is why people who have kids pretty much only have friends who also have kids.

as far as my brother is concerned, i moved to las vegas for my brother. because he needed a roommate. i don't live with him anymore, but my life out here only works because i've been able to rely on him if shit goes bad (like when my car got vandalized). and now i'm losing him.

my family is small. me and my brother are all we have. we have exactly one cousin who lives on the other side of the country, and that's it. our parents are older (my mom is over 70, my dad's been dead for 20 years, and neither of us are close with our stepdad), so we really do need each other. and now i'm losing him.

and my brother is 40. by the time i get him back, he'll be almost 60. and because our family is so small, i'm also the only blood relative within 3000 miles. so his kid is about to become my problem. i didn't sign up for that.

i would not have moved out here if i thought this would happen. but once my brother went past a certain age, i thought for sure that it wouldn't. he's really old to be having kids. but fuck me, i guess.